Handbook For Middle School Students

Middle School Name _____________________________ Class Hour ________________________

JustAsk@willingtowait.com Instagram.com/willing2wait Call: (616) 456-6873 Text: (616) 284-1545

Willing to Wait is for everyone! You have the right to know how to achieve your optimal health and avoid health risks.

You deserve to know you are valued.

Always.

WILLING TO WAIT LESSONS Check all of the topics that you are interested in learning about.

“I want to learn about...”

1 - Why some teens have sex and most wait 2 - How my body works / How babies are made 3 - STDs and how they are spread 4 - How sex affects emotions 5 - Consent, abuse, and the laws about sex 6 - How to set personal boundaries 7 - How to have healthy relationships

8 - Students who have decided to wait (video or live)

WHO’S WILLING TO WAIT?

75.6% of

Michigan high school students have not had sex.

(2021, CDC)1

_____% Haven’t had sex

___% Have had sex

County high school students (2020, MiPHY).2 References for endnotes can be found at W2WHealthyYou.com.

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LESSON

EVERYONE’S TALKING ABOUT IT

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Questions 1. What does the word abstinence mean?

2. In what areas of your life do you already practice abstinence?

Goals 1.

“While we are free to choose our actions, we are not free to choose the consequences of those actions.”3

2.

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Abstinence [ pronounced - ab - sti - nence, (noun) ] Being willing to wait for __________________________ for a chosen period of time.

You already choose abstinence every day! For example: You abstain from talking when the teacher is speaking in class.

You abstain from watching TV to get your homework done.

You abstain from smoking because you know the health risks.

WHY TEENS ARE NOT HAVING SEX Reasons teens choose to be sexually active

Reasons teens decide to wait for marriage

Fun

Respect for parents Focused goals

Peer pressure

Healthy relationships

Music

Not interested yet

Internet, streaming, social media

Religion/spiritual reasons

Drugs and alcohol

Avoid health risks

____________________

___________________ ___________________

TIMELINE OF A U.S. TEENAGER Begin Get Middle Driver’s School License _________ ________

Have First Child

Willing to Wait

Birth! ________

>>

Enjoy great sex with spouse > >

Graduate __________ Get Married

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Retire

End of Life

LESSON

TEEN PREGNANCY

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Questions 1. What is the failure rate of a condom to prevent pregnancy?

2. What three areas of life would be affected by a pregnancy?

3. What is the only way to guarantee a teen won’t get (someone) pregnant?

HOW A BABY DEVELOPS IN THE WOMB4 (Based on gestational age from last menstrual period)

5 Weeks Heart beats 8 Weeks Fingers present 11 Weeks __________________________ 14 Weeks Sucks thumb 20 Weeks Sensitive to touch and pain 24 Weeks Could live outside the womb 40 Weeks __________________________

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HOW TO AVOID PREGNANCY AS A TEEN ®

Abstinence 100% Total protection5 Pill 93% Limited protection6 Condom 87% Limited protection7 FUN 1.

Parenting as a teen 2. Less time for sports.

1. Parents share the work and Waiting to the joy. parent as an adult 2.

Pregnancy dramatically impacts teen parents’ lives.

Those who aren’t ready for the responsibilities of parenthood are not ready for sex.

FINANCES

FUTURE

1. Caring for 1. a baby is expensive.

2.

2. More work to finish college.8

1.

1. Children are more likely to finish college.10 2.

2. Children grow up to earn more money.9

A PLAN FOR SUCCESS! Research shows only 3% of people who do these three things, in this order, will live in poverty, while 86% will live in the middle or upper class.11 1. G_____________ high school.

2. Find a full-time _______.

3. Be ____________ before having a baby.

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LESSON

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SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED DISEASES Questions 1. List the only four ways to get an STD. 2. Why would a condom have a higher chance of failure with STDs than pregnancy?

3. What is the only way to guarantee complete protection from unplanned pregnancy and STDs? HOW STDS SPREAD12 1. Any sexual contact with an i________ person (oral, anal, vaginal) 2. S______ contact with infected skin areas 3. Contact with infected body f_________: semen, vaginal fluids, rectal fluid, blood (HIV, hep), breast milk (HIV) and saliva (herpes) 4. As a b_________ during pregnancy or birth

REALITY CHECK! •

Condoms provide less protection against some STDs than they do against pregnancy because:13

» Condoms don’t cover all the skin. » Pregnancy can only happen 3 to 5 days a month, but STDs can happen any day.

•

Condoms, if used correctly and every time, can reduce the risk, but not eliminate the risk.14

•

Condoms cannot protect your heart and emotions.

HOW TO PROTECT YOURSELF •

Wait to have sex until marriage.

•

Stay faithful to your spouse.

•

Those who have been sexually active in the past should get tested and choose abstinence in the future.

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Artist’s rendering of herpes 5

How it Spreads

How to Identify

Chlamydia15

Any kind of sex Bodily fluids Pregnancy or birth

Pain, Itching Organ damage PID

Gonorrhea16

Any kind of sex Bodily fluids Pregnancy or birth

Syphilis17

Any kind of sex Skin - to - skin Bodily fluids Pregnancy or birth

HPV18

Any kind of sex Skin - to - skin Pregnancy or birth

Herpes19

Any kind of sex Skin - to - skin Bodily fluids Pregnancy or birth

HIV / AIDS20

Any kind of sex Bodily fluids Pregnancy or birth

STDs often have no symptoms! GET TESTED!

B______________ V___________

STD/STI

Pain, discharge, bleeding, PID Organ damage Stage 1: Painless sores; Stage 2: Rash; Stage 3: Pain, blindness, brain damage Cancer Warts

Recurring blisters

Best Protection

“Abstinence from vaginal, anal, and oral intercourse is the only 100% effective way to prevent HIV, other STDs, and pregnancy.”21 “Sexual Behaviors | Adolescent and School Health | CDC.” Accessed February 18, 2021. http://www.cdc. gov/healthyyouth/ sexualbehaviors/

Weakened immune system Death if not treated

TRUE or FALSE T

F

Test your knowledge!

Abstinence is the best way to avoid STDs.22 Testing is the only way to know for sure if a person has an STD.23 Some viral STDs affect a person for life.24 A person can only have one STD at a time.25 Sex is the only way to get an STD.26

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Apart from testing, there’s no way for teens to know their STD status for sure.

LESSON

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EMOTIONAL OUTCOMES Questions 1. List three possible emotional outcomes of teen sex.

2. List three possible emotional outcomes of waiting to have sex.

3. Why wouldn’t a condom or pill protect you emotionally?

I_____________ Positive Influences:

Positive Attributes:

VALUE What I do matters, because I matter.

A__________ What I do.

O_____________ Positive

Negative

GOALS 1. ______________________________________________________ 2. ______________________________________________________

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EMOTIONAL BAGGAGE From Waiting for Sex From Teen Sex 1. Integrity

1. Regret

2. Confidence

2. __________

3. ____________

3. Memories

4. Respect

4. Feeling used

Suicide Hotline: 1-800-SUICIDE | 988 IT IS ACCEPTABLE TO SAY NO! WHAT’S YOUR REASON? 1.

Sex is better in a secure, loving relationship like marriage.

2.

Sexual relationships are a lot harder to break up even when you know you should.

3.

I’m only 16!

4.

I would disappoint my parents and lose their trust and respect.

5.

There are so many better ways to get someone to like you.

12. I want to reach all my goals; I don’t need the drama!

6.

Having one STD is having one STD too many!

13. If I wanted to parent a child with you, I’d marry you first!

7.

I want my first experience to be a positive one without the fear of being rejected or laughed at.

14. I want to know they will be there for me tomorrow!

8.

I want a great marriage without emotional baggage!

9.

I’m not emotionally ready for that intense of a relationship.

10. I only want to be bonded to the one I am married to.

I want to protect my physical and emotional health!

15. My reason:

11. I’d rather say “No” to my partner than “Yes, we’re pregnant” to my parents.

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Pregnancy

STD

Condom

____% Protection27

Protection varies

Pill

____% Protection28

X

W2W

% Protection29

100% Protection

Emotions

X X 100% Protection

(from emotions from sex)

No matter our experiences, choices, or circumstances, our value does not change.

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LESSON

5 UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS

Questions 1. How can you tell if a relationship is abusive?

2. Who could you talk to about an abusive situation?

3. What is the age of consent for sex in the state of Michigan?

4. What age determines if a picture or video is “child sexually abusive material?

Common signs that a relationship is unhealthy—it’s: S_________________ and/or C______________________.

Common signs that a relationship is abusive—it’s: H_________________ and/or C______________________.

Consent means both people say yes clearly and freely to the sexual experience. Consent is not possible if: • Either person is under the age of 16 (in MI).

• Either person is under the influence of drugs or alcohol.

• Either person is mentally incapable of consent.30 No means no! Saying nothing means no!

And, sometimes yes means no!

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STAY S.A.F.E. Sip only from closed containers

Friends leave together

Avoid alcohol

Establish a safety code

RAPE AND SEXUAL ASSAULT • • •

Rape is forced or coerced (emotional pressure) unwanted sex.

Force includes threats or tone of voice, as well as physical force or weapons.

Sexual assault is any sexual contact that was not agreed to.

DATE RAPE DRUGS ALCOHOL and other substances can leave a person 31 incapable of consent and unable to resist.

SIDE EFFECTS • Loss of Control

• Sexual Aggressiveness

• Weak

• Nausea

• Drowsy

• Lack of Judgement

• Confusion

• Seizure

• Black Out

• Death

Sexual assault is never the victim’s fault!

If rape happens to you or a friend: GET HELP RIGHT AWAY! Local Sexual Assault Hotline: (616) 776-7273 National Hotline: 1-800-656-HOPE (4673) School Counselor:______________________ Sexting is requesting, sending, or receiving sexually explicit messages, photos, or _______ (nude or semi-nude). _________ consequences can apply if anyone under the age of 18 is involved.32 Willing to Wait® MS 2023 | W2WHealthyYou.com

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LESSON

6 DATING AND SETTING BOUNDARIES

Questions 1. Where does W2W recommend to draw your line in a physical relationship and why?

2. Give an example of a physical display of affection. How is that different from actions that can lead to arousal?

3. What could someone say to communicate they didn’t want to have sex?

4. How can someone who has been sexually active in the past decide to avoid sexual risk in the future?

DATE IDEAS WHILE YOU WAIT

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•

Make tie-dye shirts

•

Attend a free art show, play, or concert

•

Go ice skating or roller blading

•

Start a Willing to Wait or Fight the New Drug campaign

•

Play basketball or go sledding

•

Go to a downtown festival

•

Make thank you cards together and send them to a grandparent

•

Return pop cans and use the money to buy dessert

•

Bake cookies and bring some to your sex ed teacher

•

•

•

•

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HOW FAR IS TOO FAR?

1.

2.

A

3.

4.

5.

A

6.

7.

8.

TWO QUESTION TEST 1. ?

2. ?

TOP TWO PRESSURE LINE RESPONSES If someone was pressuring me to have sex, I would tell them 1. !

2. !

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STICKING TO YOUR GOAL Whether you had sex or it was taken from you, the choice to wait is always yours to make!

1. Commitment Make the commitment to yourself and to your future spouse to wait to have sex until marriage. Write it down as a reminder of your goal and use something like a bracelet or card to symbolize your commitment.

2. Communication

Tell someone about your decision. Tell a trusted friend or family member about your decision. Ask them for support by holding you accountable.

3. Changes Get away from people, places, and situations that put pressure on you and weaken your self-control. If you’re in a sexual relationship, you may need to take some time away, or possibly break up for a time.

4. Control

Take Control. Decide beforehand how far you will go.

Don’t do things that turn each other on. Anything beyond a brief kiss can quickly become dangerous.

Be drug- and alcohol-free so you can keep your limits.

5. Caution Be aware that the urge to have sex may still be there, but you don’t have to act on the urge. It may not be easy, but it’s worth waiting.

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It’s never too late to WAIT!

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LESSON

7

HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS Questions 1. What is one way people could benefit from marraige?

2. What are six building blocks of healthy relationships?

3. What is the first step for staying CALM when there is conflict in a healthy relationship?

From the list below, circle only the six most important qualities you would want in someone you date: • Good communicator • Great kisser

• Forgiving • Hard working

• Intelligent

• Dresses cool

• Respectful

• Has plenty of money • Romantic

• Super social

• Thoughtful and kind

• Strong and athletic

• Willing to wait for sex

• Similar values

• Laid back

• Attractive body

• Amazing looks

• Good friendship

• Agreeable

• Popular

• Selfless

• Trustworthy • Good sense of humor

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BENEFITS OF MARRIAGE | FUN FACTS Not everyone chooses to get married, but for those who do, there can be benefits for them, their children, and their community. On average: •

Married people have the safest sex and have sex more often.33

•

Married people are richer.34

•

Married people live longer and are healthier.35

•

Married people create new families with legal rights and benefits.36

•

Marriage is the safest place for women and children.37

Everyone can be a fan of marriage!

BUILDING BLOCKS OF HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS Every successful relationship has certain characteristics, depending on how close the relationship is. Sex cannot be the foundation of a healthy relationship. In a marriage built on the foundation of these building blocks, however, sex can play an important role. In the meantime, you can work on these building blocks and love languages in any relationship.

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5 LOVE LANGUAGES38 Everybody experiences and expresses love in different ways. Healthy relationships depend on a growing appreciation for each other’s “love language.”

Words: Some people feel most loved when they actually hear the words, “I love you.”

Time: Some people feel most loved when someone spends time with them. Often these people just want someone to make time for them.

Gifts: A simple gift that took care and thought is the best way to show certain people how much they are loved.

Service: Helping a loved one with a task or project that is important to them or stressful for them can show how much they are loved.

Touch: For some people, a big hug or pat on the back tells them that they are important. Physical contact says, “I like to be around you.”

Check out A Teen’s Guide to the 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman for more great advice about love. Learn about your own Love Language at https:// www.5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/teen-quiz/

STAYING “C.A.L.M.” •

C

•

A

•

L

•

M

.

You can only control yourself. You cannot control others.

A

.

Assume the best and don’t jump to conclusions. Apologize first if you have contributed to the conflict.

.

Identify which “building block” has been damaged and work to repair it together.

-

-

.

Use facts to describe the issue. Keep your emotions in check. “I felt [describe emotion] when this happened [describe event].”

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RESOURCES Medical Services PRC Grand Rapids - Free Pregnancy Testing and Low-Cost STD Testing - 616.456.6873 Kent County Health Dept. (STD testing) 616.632.7171 National AIDS & STD Hotline - 1.800.CDC.INFO Safe Delivery of Newborns Hotline - 1.866.733.7733 Sexual Assault Services YWCA Sexual Assault Crisis Line - 616.454.YWCA Rape, Abuse & Incest Hotline - 1.800.656.HOPE Domestic & Relationship Abuse Services Safe Haven Ramoth House Shelter - 616.452.6664 YWCA Domestic Violence Shelter - 616.454.YWCA National Domestic Violence Hotline - 1.800.799.SAFE National Teen Dating Abuse Hotline - 1.866.331.9474 Suicide Prevention Services National Suicide Prevention Hotline - 988 or 1.800.273.TALK Text “GO” to 741741 Homeless/Runaway Services The Bridge - Homeless Youth Services - 616.451.3001 AYA Youth Collective - info@ayayouth.org - 616.406.3945 National Runaway Hotline - 1800Runaway.org or 1.800.786.2929 CyberSafety & Pornography Protection www.ProtectYoungEyes.com www.FightTheNewDrug.org Parenting Support PRC Wyoming - Parenting and Material Support - 616.261.0014

COUPON FREE PREGNANCY TESTING AND/OR FREE STD TESTING To schedule an appointment, call 616.456.6873 or text 616.284.1545 PRC GRAND RAPIDS 415 Cherry Street SE, Grand Rapids, MI 49503 You may share this card with a friend, but please do not make copies.

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