Toxic Positivity: A detrimental min and coping mechanism

I'm sure all of us have heard comments such as to "look on the bright side of things" as we share our struggles with those around us. At that time, you may have felt the urge to simply hold onto the belief that everything happens for a reason and ignore your negative feelings in favour of staying positive. What you may have experienced is 'toxic positivity'. Toxic positivity is the suppression and refusal to acknowledge all negative emotions due to the strong belief that one should always be positive regardless of the situation. However, being overly positive invalidates negative emotions and can be extremely harmful for our mental health.

Writtenby:

FeliciaLow(3.1),TanSheena(3.8)

Designedby:

EvaAnLew(2.2),JanelleAng(2.6)

At first glance, toxic positivity may not seem all that different from a normal healthy mindset. However, contrary to what the names might suggest, there is actually a stark difference between the two. While a mindset of toxic positivity revolves around one invalidating his or her emotions and convincing oneself that he or she is happy, a person with a healthy positive mindset would accept that negative emotions are part of being human in order to pull through whatever hardships they face. Having said that, an obsession with maintaining a positive mindset can quickly develop into toxic positivity.

"Is toxic positivity all that bad?" you may ask, "Surely any form of positivity would be better than a pessimistic mindset?" This may not strictly be the case. In fact, in many circumstances, toxic positivity can actually be incredibly hindering –not only to one's mental state but also to one's growth and development.

If we are always under constant pressure to be happy, negative thoughts and feelings may become more and more overwhelming as they build up without the owner acknowledging and properly dealing with them. This could lead to emotional outbursts and irritation or even anxiety or depression. Toxic positivity also prevents growth from one's experiences, as people do not learn how to cope and adapt even as their life progresses and they merely opt to move on. This may be detrimental to their personal improvement as they put little to no effort into finding solutions, as they believe that their emotions are a flaw in their character.

Now that you know why it is necessary to avoid a mindset of toxic positivity, how can you go about tackling it? Firstly, to deal with it, we must be able to identify when our positivity is becoming toxic. Some common signs of toxic positivity include dismissal of all negative thoughts, guilt over your emotions, commonly assuring yourself or others that no matter the situation, it could always be worse or that everything happens for a reason. In order to circumvent such toxicity, one may try looking to those around them for support. Voicing our feelings to those around us encourages us to accept our feelings. We may put more effort into identifying our emotions as we focus our attention on trying to solve the crux of the issue causing us distress. We can also attempt to pay more attention to how we communicate with others in terms of our responses to others sharing their pain with us. We can avoid telling them thoughtless sayings such as "It will all work out in the end" to comfort them, and instead, acknowledging their emotions and experiences.