Love: Complex maybe

Text by: Ina Kosik

And just when I thought something broke free, I took a quick glimpse. It should not hurt. After all, we are far beyond the past.

Yet I stare deep inside your eyes, piercing right through my body. Those shapes were once so close that I was forced to oblivion.

Now hunting again Like a banshee. Confusing, Obscure, Scary.

Did I lose my mind? Why is it still occupied?

Feels like I again lost track of time. Pushing me away with words that were never spoken. And that could be it. The uncertainty and longing for an answer kept hiding. Under the rug, behind a curtain, above the clouds and below my deepest thoughts.

And I can’t seem to scoop it out. It got stuck like a stubborn raspberry between the teeth. Maybe let’s take it down a notch. I don’t want to call for exaggeration, but it sometimes feels like it. Silly little drama. But that’s okay. I once loved and still do. Strong feelings for a certain person just won’t disappear with time. They stay, and apparently, the attachment will always be the same. It’s like grief. You don’t “move on” from it, from all the feelings. In fact, it might be the worst thing you can do for yourself. Because they will certainly come back stronger. It’s like reality is hidden behind the dust. Which anyway stings in the eye. Maybe that’s also the problem of love. We seek it everywhere, led by the mischievous image of pop culture. Those bloody rom-com. Even when you don’t like it, get it or follow it, somehow, love consumption seems subconsciously desirable. The need for and they live happily ever after. But what the heck does that even mean? What hides behind “ever after”? Ensnared in a beautiful beginning, we miss the sense of continuation. The strangest of feelings, once so pure, turned into overkill.

Maybe we should observe the many faces of love and their differences instead. How they manifest themselves in so many different ways and forms. The love for your dearest friend is always there for you to lift you up when you fall. The love of a mother is forever ready to protect you. The unconditional love in the eye of the four-legged, furry comrade. The love of the sun on your cheeks when the clouds set apart on a gloomy day. Finally, the love for what you do and who you are becoming when you follow your heart. I truly wish us all this feeling. Maybe to understand love as a whole, we must take it as it comes. Sometimes hunting and hurting, sometimes simple and truly unbeatable. Because, as once was said, it can mend but also break. Don’t turn away, though. Maybe you’ll miss too much of yourself.