Page 1

mendo lake FREE!

September 2016

SPD Smarts Help sensory sensitives Â

Care for Caregivers Nourish yourself

Special Needs Advice for parents

Be Close

Bond with your kid


Cider Tasting Saturday, Sept 17, 12-5 Sunday, Sept 18, 12-5 At the Mendocino County Fair & Apple Show















You do so much to keep your family healthy.

So do we.

A family doctor that can care for the whole family makes perfect sense. A familiar face who will be there for your growing family, from terrible threes to the teen-age years. It’s important to have a doctor that really gets your kids, your family’s medical history and your unique family dynamics. Someone who will listen — someone who will be there for well visits or the not so good ones. When it comes to great care, keeping it in the family makes such a difference.

New Patients Welcome

707.459.6115 Same Day Appointments Available

Our group of caring providers are ready to welcome your family. We are now accepting new patients. 3 M a rc e l a D r i v e | S u i t e C | W i l l i t s C A | 7 0 7 . 4 5 9 . 6 1 1 5 | w w w. h o w a rd h o s p i t a l . o r g

September 2016

Every Issue

10 Features 10 Upside Down World Your child has been diagnosed with a disorder. Now what?

12 Hug Me Tight Learn about the ins and outs of SPD.


Dear Reader


Bits and Pieces Make a Splash Take a Bite Out of Life The Man in Plaid Eats and Beats Crustacean Craze Full Spectrum Health Sweet and Delicious

22 Calendar of Events Cows, Cars & Cotton Candy

30 Cooking with Kids A+ School Lunch

14 Mama Fierce Life lessons from a mom of a child with special needs.

16 Care for the Caregiver Ideas for sneaking in self-nourishment.

18 Close to You How to cultivate a strong bond with your little one.

20 Play With Me

9 4 MendoLakeFamilyLife

Bring misbehaving kids back to center with Special Time.


September 2016


Mendocino County Fair & Apple Show September 16-18, 2016

9 am to Midnight Daily • Boonville Fairgrounds




Dear Reader


Sharon Gowan Publisher/Editor

elcome to our Special Needs issue, which aims to offer support and practical tips to those parenting a child with physical, behavioral, emotional, and/or cognitive problems.

Raising a child with special needs can be extremely challenging. As Alexa Bigwarfe illustrates in “Mama Fierce” (page 14), it requires a great deal of strength. First hearing your child’s diagnosis may be very upsetting. But Meagan Ruffing says a diagnosis does not have to define your child. In “Upside Down World” (page 10), she explains how to use a diagnosis to gain access to necessary services as well as to create effective parenting strategies. That’s what Sarah Lyons did. When she learned her daughter had Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD), she

adjusted her parenting style to protect her daughter from over stimulation. Lyons offers an introduction to the disorder in “Hug Me Tight” (page 12). The demands of parenting a special needs child can make self-care as important as it is difficult. In “Care for the Caregiver” (page 16), Pamela Wilson tells parents to accept help from friends and family, and to take time for themselves no matter what. It’s sage advice for everyone during this hectic back-to-school season. If you want to chill out, check out the cider tasting at the Mendocino County Fair and Apple Show, September 17–18, at the Mendocino County Fairgrounds in Boonville. See pages 2 and 8 to learn more. We wish our readers a happy and productive fall!

Office Manager Patricia Ramos

Business Marketing Renee Nutcher Marie Anderson

Features Editor Melissa Chianta

Production Manager Donna Bogener

Web and Social Media Jean Flint

Contributing Writers

KUSD IS SEEKING SUBSTITUTE TEACHERS Have a Bachelor’s Degree, like a flexible schedule? We may have a career for you!

Make A Positive Difference With Children

Alexa Bigwarfe Lisa Ludwigsen Sarah Lyons Meagan Ruffing Frederick Travis Robert Keith Wallace Pamela D. Wilson Patty Wipfler

Billing Jan Wasson-Smith

Sub Teacher Checklist: • CBEST Results • Official College Transcripts (BA or higher) • TB Clearance

Publishing Office 134 Lystra Court, Suite A Santa Rosa, CA 95403 Tel (707) 586-9562 Fax (707) 586-9571

Discover more about how we are elevating student learning at

707-994-6475 6 MendoLakeFamilyLife

September 2016

r ic s



c s & O bst



Pe d




Comprehensive health care for women and children. Come see our state-of-the-art facility and meet our staff. We look forward to meeting you! Emily Tang, PNP-BC

Carol Appel Basham, PA-M

Marlene Quilala, M.D.

Daniel Lewis, M.D. OB/GYN

Lake County Tribal Health Modern Medicine

Personalized Care

707-533-2740 • 800-750-7181 • 359 Lakeport Blvd. Lakeport •

Bits & Pieces

Take a Bite Out of Life


Make a Splash


erhaps in an effort to imitate seagulls that effortlessly land in water, humans built planes that can do the same. You can see a whole array of them, along with vintage military aircraft, at the 37th Annual Clear Lake Seaplane Splash-In at Natural High in Lakeport. The free event is set for September 17, 9 a.m.–5 p.m. Start off the day with a Kiwanis pancake breakfast for $7, then wander through a display of full-scale and model aircraft. Imagine what Clear Lake looks like from up high, or take a real ride above the clouds. See for more information. ¶

ake a drive through the rolling hills of Mendocino County, and you’ll see not only rows of grapevines but also apple trees. These local orchards produce some of the best hard ciders in the state. Try them for yourself at the California Cider Competition’s Grand Tasting on September 17 and 18, noon–5 p.m., at the Mendocino County Fair and Apple Show. Talk to cider makers about their art, and, as part of the apple show, sample a diversity of the crunchy, sweet fruit. Both the fair, which runs September 16–18, and the Grand Tasting will be held at the Mendocino County Fairgrounds in Boonville. See and for more information. ¶

The Man in Plaid


re you so comfortable with a handsaw it’s become another appendage? Can you climb a pole like nobody’s business? Consider entering the Paul Bunyan Days Logging Show contest and competing for $7,000 in prize money. If amateur logging isn’t your thing, you can avail yourself of plenty of other activities in honor of the fabled lumberjack, including a gem and mineral show, classic car show, barbecue, and an old fashioned heroine-battles-villain theater performance. A parade will capture the attention of old and young alike, and little ones can enter the Kiddie Tricycle Race as well as play special games. Festival events will take place at various times September 2–5 at Fort Bragg venues. See paulbunyandays. com for a complete schedule. ¶ 8 MendoLakeFamilyLife

Eats and Beats


ine and dine your sweetie— and support local Grandpas and Grandmas, too—at a benefit dinner and dance. Fill up on a meal created by Chatterbox Catering and then boogie the night away to the country sounds of Lou Derr and Bootleg, and special guest David Neft. The event will be held on September 10, 5–10 p.m., at the Highlands Senior Service Center. Tickets are $30 in advance and $35 at the door; proceeds benefit the center. For more information, see

September 2016

Crustacean Craze


tories of how animals better the lives of humans populate Facebook feeds and Internet news outlets. It’s not news to the folks who practice equine therapy at the Seabiscuit Therapeutic Riding Center, though. They have seen first hand how horses help troubled kids. You can contribute to the organization’s work by attending the Claws for a Cause dinner on September 3, 5–9 p.m., at the historic Howard-Ridgewood Ranch in Willits. Treat yourself to a whole Maine lobster served with filet mignon steak skewers and live music by The Basics. Tickets are $80 and available at the Mendocino Book Company in Ukiah or the Willits Furniture Center in Willits. For details, see ¶

Full Spectrum Health


ver dream of running through a rainbow? The closest you may get is the Ukiah Valley Medical Center’s Colors for Cancer 5K Fun Run and Walk, in which participants will be bombarded with colored dye. The event will be held at 9 a.m. on September 18 at the Redwood Empire Fairgrounds in Ukiah. Registration is at 7:30 a.m. and costs $40 for adults and $25 for youth. The race begins at 9 a.m. and benefits various cancer-oriented nonprofits in the area. For more information, see pages/misc/color.aspx. ¶

Sweet and Delicious


oodies have a thing for pears. They’ll throw the versatile fruit into everything from duck and pork entrees to pies and sauces. They would even say the golden, tree-ripened delight should be celebrated. And in a small Lake County town, it is. At the Kelseyville Pear Festival you can sample fresh pears and indulge in pear ice cream (it sells out fast) and even pear margaritas. In the Wine Tasting Tent, try local vino and microbrews along with nibbles by Chef Julie Hoskin from Chic le Chef in Hidden Valley. Show kids antique farm equipment that turned the soil of Lake County’s past, and then take them to Kids’ Town, where they can get their faces painted, pet animals, and jump around in a bouncy house. A Horse Faire will also feature demonstrations and special activities geared toward children. The festival is free and will be held on September 24, 7 a.m.–5 p.m., in downtown Kelseyville. A kick-off dinner concert, featuring cowboy singer Dave Stamey and a tri-tip meal, will be held at 5 p.m. on September 23 at the Wildhurst Tasting Room Courtyard in Kelseyville. Tickets are $50 and may be purchased by calling 279-4302. For more information, see ¶

September 2016

MendoLakeFamilyLife 9

6 Tips for Handling a Diagnosis

Upside Down World By Meagan Ruffing


y son started occupational therapy when he was four years old. The sessions were one floor up from where we had taken him the previous year for Parent-Child Interactive Therapy (PCIT). Even though we were only one floor from where we’d spent weekly appointments learning how to interact more constructively with our son, we were about to approach a whole new way of doing things. When the elevator door opened, and I saw the “Autism” sign, I thought we had the wrong floor. Since then, my son has been diagnosed with Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD) and several other comorbid disorders. Here is what I learned about how to handle hearing a diagnosis.


Labels don’t matter. Or do they? There has always been a huge difference between how my husband and I have approached our son’s diagnoses. I have needed to have names for my son’s disorders so that I could research them and take some control over my life as his parent. My husband, on the other hand, could care less. It has not been important to him. He’d rather spend his time “fixing” than naming. This could be you and your partner. If it is, identify how you each feel. It’s important to 10 MendoLakeFamilyLife

Seek professional help so that you can set up your child for success. understand where the other person is coming from, even if you disagree.


Don’t use the diagnosis as a defining moment. Instead, see it as a stepping-stone. Use this nugget of knowledge to take you to the next level (therapy, medication, programs, support groups, and so on). Seek

professional help so that you can set up your child for success.


Be careful if, how, and when you decide to tell your child about her or his diagnosis. I was standing at the kitchen sink washing dishes when I decided to tell my son he had Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). We had been searching for a name for what he had for years, and after several misdiagnoses, we were confident that this was what he had. I debated whether or not to tell him but decided I would. I kept it short and simple. He was five years old and well into kindergarten. We’d been taking him to therapists and doctors for several years on and off so he was well aware that there was something slightly different about him. Our conversation lasted a few minutes. He asked a few questions, like I thought he would. I answered them and that was that. If this is the season of life you find yourself in, think about how you want to handle it and go from there.

September 2016


As much as possible, set your child up for success in every situation and environment. Each diagnosis comes with specific ways to manage it. Before my son’s ADHD diagnosis, I would be quick to discipline him for not listening to me when I would rattle off a list of things for him to do. After his diagnosis, I became more intentional about giving him one task at a time. After he completed a task, I would tell him to come right back to me so that I could give him another one. This technique, which I learned from doing my own research, has worked a million times better than what I was doing before. When you know better, you do better.


and friends. Boundaries are meant to protect those we love. Take, for instance, play dates. For a very long time, I would not allow my son to play at anyone else’s house if I wasn’t with him. He could invite friends over to our house, but until I felt sure that a friend’s parents would confidently watch my son and not get frustrated when he wouldn’t listen or when he

Receiving a diagnosis for your child can feel like a step in the right direction, and it is. But along with the news may come grief. was super loud, I just didn’t allow it. That was an unspoken boundary, one that I needed to set for a temporary

Set boundaries. This one may be hard to enact with loved ones

School Offices

time when the diagnosis was new and I wasn’t quite sure how it was all going to play out.


Go to therapy. If you can, I encourage you to get counseling. Receiving a diagnosis for your child can feel like a step in the right direction, and it is. But along with the news may come grief. When I went to therapy right after my son’s diagnosis, my therapist told me it was okay to be sad and to cry if I needed to. She told me that everything I was feeling was completely normal in the midst of so many abnormal things. Sometimes we just need permission to come undone, even if it’s only for an hour in a therapist’s office. ¶

Meagan Ruffing’s book about parenting her son, I See You, will be available this fall. Visit her at Open for Enrollment August 6 Tweet her @meagan_ruffing.

Join Us for Back to School Nights this Fall!

1st Annual of the

Taste World An International Celebration

Saturday October 22 Tree of Life

10 am – 3 pm Charter School Alex Thomas Plaza in downtown Ukiah invites you to

Open House Wednesday, March 9, 6-8 PM

Meet staff, tour classrooms, see student work samples Sharing international food, music, & Open enrollment through the end of March arts with our friends and neighbors

Free Montessori public elementary education for ages 5-13

Tree of Life Charter School Peace education

Environmental stewardship

Family participation and community

For more info vendors can call or e-mail Sara Melville at 391-9244 Call:or 707-462-0913 241 Ford Rd., Ukiah

Parents Count

You can have a voice in your child's education Here's how:


• Attend monthly School Site Council Meetings. Your Child’s • Support your school Parent/Teacher Association. Teachers • Volunteer for school and/or classroom activities. • Attend Back to School Nights in the fall and Open House in the spring. • Visit the district's website and learn about current events (


Visit our website:

September 2016

MendoLakeFamilyLife 11

Hug Me Tight

interferes with our ability to function on a day-to-day basis, we have a problem.” Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD) can be hard to diagnose because it affects each person differently. “Any of the five senses can be affected by being hypersensitive (over stimulated) or by being hyposensitive (under stimulated),” says Lyons.

A Sensory Processing Disorder Primer says that a child who has a

By Sarah Lyons


typical morning in my home begins with the words, “My clothes hurt me. They are too loose. I need new clothes.” As a result, I begin the search for the “right” clothes for my four-year-old daughter. After much time, many tears, lots of tight hugs, and a good dose of frustration, she begins her day in the same dress she wore the day prior and many days prior to that. The process of getting dressed, which seems simple to most, is the biggest challenge my child faces on a daily basis. This situation is one example of what living with a child with Sensory Processing Disorder is like. “Imagine being in an environment where the noise around you is amplified to the highest level, the temperature is the coldest or hottest you have ever felt, you are wearing the most uncomfortable clothing that has ever touched your skin, and you are nauseated by a repulsive smell—all at the same time. What would be your response? Most would quickly escape the situation,” says occupational therapist Dana Lyons. “These are examples of what children with 12 MendoLakeFamilyLife

Sensory Processing Disorder feel, but they cannot escape the symptoms. As a result, these children may respond with anger or frustration, or ultimately avoid situations that may cause a breakdown.” Sensory processing is a term that refers to the way the nervous system receives messages from the senses and turns them into appropriate motor and behavioral responses. “Everyone processes sensory input, but some people process it differently than others,” says occupational therapist Carrie Grosdidier. “When the processing of this information

“When my daughter first started therapy, she was extremely shy. Now she is a social butterfly.” — Stephanie Beaudry

hypersensitive response to sensory input may: • be distracted by noises that sound normal to others (flushing toilets, clanking silverware). • fear surprise touch or avoid hugs. • avoid swings and playground equipment. • have poor balance and fall often. A child who has a hyposensitive response to sensory input may: • have a constant need to touch people or textures. • have an extremely high tolerance to pain. • often harm other children and/or pets when playing, in part because he or she doesn’t understand his or her own strength.

September 2016

STS For Less Stress, Fly

• enjoy movement-based play such as spinning, jumping, swinging, etc.

An occupational therapist can help kids with SPD find tools that help balance sensory input. Activities may include swinging, wearing a weighted vest, pushing or pulling heavy objects across the room, or jumping on a trampoline. Many of these activities are fun for the child and can be integrated into playtime at home.

• seem to be a “thrill seeker” and can be dangerous at times. In addition, SPD may cause motor clumsiness, behavioral problems, anxiety, depression, or other issues if not treated effectively. Children can have one or many of these characteristics as well as some from each category and in varying

SPD may cause motor clumsiness, behavioral problems, anxiety, depression, or other issues if not treated effectively. degrees of severity. “Unfortunately, these responses are viewed by others as children behaving badly when in fact they are not,” Lyons says. “The most important thing to understand is that children with SPD are not ‘bad’ children. They are simply trying to survive in their own skin…with heightened or lowered sensations. Typical punishment for ‘bad’ behavior is not optimal and can cause regression rather than progression.” SPD does create challenges for families, but there is treatment available for kids who struggle with it. “We had a fabulous occupational therapist who helped my son. She gave us tools and gave him permission to figure out what worked for him and what didn’t,” says Joy Alsup, mom of four. “He has a high need for tight, long hugs and we understand that this is what helps

“The therapy helps [not] just their physical strengths but also their emotional strengths,” says Stephanie Beaudry, mom of two children with SPD. “When my daughter first started therapy, she was extremely shy. She wouldn’t even talk to children her own age when they approached her. Now, four months later, she is a social butterfly.”

Charles M. Schulz Sonoma County Airport Seattle (SEA)

Portland (PDX) TS

him. It’s a huge priority for us.”

©P N

• be fidgety and unable to sit still.

Nonstop Service to & from Wine Country

Sonoma County Airport


Las Vegas (LAS)

Los Angeles (LAX) Orange County (SNA) San Diego (SAN)

Phoenix-Mesa (AZA)

An occupational therapist’s main goal is to educate parents about SPD and give families tools they can use to help the child progress at home. Although families that deal with SPD may struggle with activities other people see as normal, many parents find hope in their children’s progress and support from other parents dealing with this disorder. As a mother of a child with SPD myself, I would encourage others to educate themselves about the disorder and begin to approach situations from the child’s perspective.

Academics with Real World Learning Openings in grades 9-11

It takes a lot of patience, persistence, and love to parent a child with SPD, but when a child feels accepted and supported, he or she can work through struggles and thrive. ¶ Sarah Lyons is a wife and mother of six. The inspiration for this article came from her daughter, Grace, who was diagnosed with SPD in 2014.

September 2016

707-459-6344 16201 Hwy 101, Ukiah

MendoLakeFamilyLife 13

Mama Fierce

What My Sister-in-Law Taught Me about Strength

By Alexa Bigwarfe


was pregnant with my second child when I learned my sister-in-law, Jes, was also pregnant with her second child. My daughter was born in December, and my nephew was due in June. When we received the phone call on April 25 that my nephew Boston had been born, I was terrified for them. He was six weeks early, and I prayed that he was okay. Boston spent one week in the neonatal intensive care unit. As tests were conducted, doctors began to talk about cerebral palsy (CP), and the worst case scenario was laid out for my sister and her husband: Boston may never sit up on his own, walk, feed himself, or talk. Needless to say, the family was devastated. And scared.

But Jes refused to accept their dismal diagnosis. From the start, she began to research CP, including its prognosis, physical therapy, and how to care for someone with the disease. She decided that statistics and doctors were not going to determine what Boston’s life would be like, and instead, their family would set their own expectations. Jes was determined that Boston would sit up, roll over, crawl, feed himself, talk, and walk. And he has done all of those things. 14 MendoLakeFamilyLife

He is an extraordinary little dude. Life has not been easy for him or his parents. They have spent hours with him in physical therapy, helped him recover from multiple surgeries, and generally made sure he has

Our children only know what “normal” is by what we teach them. the best equipment, teachers, and opportunities available. It has been amazing to watch him learn and grow. It has also been amazing to watch Jes mother him. I have learned so much from her about being a strong mother. Here are a just a few of those life lessons. When I think my life is tough, I walk in another mom’s shoes. Jes is a teacher and works full time.

Her husband works long hours and isn’t always able to get time off. When he is working 12-hour shifts, she is basically a single mom. But that hasn’t stopped her from continuing Boston’s therapies and having her kids participate in activities such as gymnastics. Yes, Boston is a gymnast. When I am exhausted at the end of the day, I often think about the fact that when Jes comes home from work, she has to make her way to therapy appointments and consultations. And she does it like a champ. A mother is her child’s best advocate. Jes never takes no for an answer. Her child should have as normal a life as possible, and she’s moved mountains to ensure he gets that life. I’ve watched her maneuver through the health care system’s confusing and frustrating policies, seek out the best educational avenues, and advocate for equipment and health-care coverage. Jes finds a way, and her son has benefited tremendously. Never let someone tell you your child can’t do something. Our children only know what “normal” is by what we teach them. Jes taught me that. Boston will never have the

September 2016

It’s okay to ask questions. I was timid about asking about Boston—his prognosis, therapies, and so forth. I didn’t want to upset Jes. But I’ve found that she would rather we ask her questions than awkwardly avoid

attitude that he cannot do something. Can’t is not in his vocabulary. He has no reason to believe that he won’t walk or do extracurricular activities. Boston doesn’t know that the rest of the world has opinions about what he can and can’t do because his mother has never let that attitude invade their lives.

Jes never takes no for an answer. Her child should have as normal a life as possible, and she’s moved mountains to ensure he gets that life.

Life may not go as planned, but it will still be an adventure. We all have hopes and dreams of what life will look like. When Jes found out Boston was a boy, the family’s plans included hockey games and tournaments, and weekends golfing. Their current reality looks different than what they had envisioned, but they still have fun. They have found other engaging activities that Boston can participate in. Sometimes you have to just roll with it.

the conversation. I asked Jes if she was okay with me writing about this topic, and she encouraged me to share away. Jes said, “We spread the word because we think education is the key to preventing ignorance.”

Heed the requests of moms with children who have special health-care needs. Whether it is cerebral palsy, autism, celiac disease, asthma, or food allergies, unless you have a child with that condition, you are not the expert. The mother with the affected child is the expert. And she has a reason for making certain requests. They definitely are not made to make your life more difficult or less enjoyable. I guarantee they are in the best interest of the child. Our children are our most beloved and treasured “assets,” and most moms are just trying to keep them safe and do what is best. Thanks for these lessons, Jes. You are my hero. ¶ Alexa Bigwarfe is a mother to three children as well as a freelance writer.

Clear Lake Splash In September 17, 2016

5K & 10K Runs • 5K Fun Walk

Natural High Field 810 N Main St, Lakeport, CA


5 pm,$3/Person $3/Person for over 12 12 8 am8 am – 5–pm, forthose those over

Kiwanis Pancake $7/person Kiwanis PancakeBreakfast Breakfast88–– 1111am,am, $7/person •Seaplanes on Display Display • Splash In T-shirts Seaplanes on  Splash In T-shirts • Seaplane Rides Available • Industry vendors  Seaplane Rides Available  Industry vendors • Clear Lake Modelers’ display & simulator • Food & beverage vendors  Clear Lake Modelers' display &  Food & beverage vendors • Vintage military aircraft • Arts & Crafts vendors simulator  Arts & CraftsCar vendors • Classic Show  Vintage military aircraft

City of Lakeport County of Lake City of Lakeport County of Lake

 Classic Car Show

Sponsors Lake County Chamber of Commerce Sponsors Lakeport MainChamber Street Association Lake County of Commerce Erich Aviation Services Lakeport MainInsurance Street Association

A scenic family event! Run or walk through magnificent Redwoods on Gualala River trails. Start and end at Gualala Arts Center and enjoy a fabulous brunch with our famous GRReat Raffle drawing!

Pre-Register to secure a T-shirt and brunch ticket.

Skylark Shores Resort

Race Day Registration: 7:30-8:30 am, Run Start: 9 am Skylark Shores Resort

Erich Aviation Insurance Services

Event Details • Registration • Sponsorships • Program Advertising Opportunities

Mail-in Form and Raffle Tickets at,,

Event Details • Registration • Sponsorships • Program Advertising Opportunities

707-884-5413 •

(707) 263-5092 • Lake County Chamber of Commerce (707) 263-5092 • Lake County Chamber of Commerce

Entry Fees: 5K/10K Run $35; 5K Run Walk (adults) $30; Under 18 Walk Run $10 Coastal Creations Brunch: Adults $10; 10 and under $5

benefit for Action Network Family Resource Centers, Gualala and Point Arena.

September 2016

MendoLakeFamilyLife 15

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, one in six children aged 3–17 has one or more developmental disabilities. Parents of disabled children juggle hectic therapy schedules, and experience financial

Going to a support group can give you ideas for how to sneak in self-care.

Care for the Caregiver

Advice for Parents of Kids with Special Needs

By Pamela D. Wilson


raci and her partner had been struggling with their child’s difficult behaviors for a while. When they finally received a diagnosis of autism, they were overwhelmed. Making it through just one day took everything they had. How would they take care of this child over the long haul?

16 MendoLakeFamilyLife

challenges and discrimination as well as profound stress. Many couples divorce as a result of the strain or lose friends who are unable to understand the challenges they face. How can parents who feel separated or isolated get support? How can they survive without compromising their own physical and mental health? There are no simple answers to these questions, but following these tips will help.


Be honest and realistic about the diagnosis with yourself, your family, your child, and others. Denial is, at the very least, unhelpful and, at worst, dangerous. Never be embarrassed about your family, the diagnosis, or the caregiving situation. There are many others who are going through similar circumstances and who understand. If others respond inappropriately, their behaviors and reactions are their responsibility—not yours.


Seek knowledge and insight to make the role of caregiving easier. Often day-to-day responsibilities, unexpected crises, and minute-to-minute caregiving tasks take priority over time for self-education, learning, or attending support

September 2016


groups. Admittedly time poverty exists—how can you find a single moment to devote to something other than direct-care tasks? Find the time. Going to a support group can actually give you ideas for how to sneak in self-care. Talking to a friend can give you insight into how to approach a particularly difficult dilemma.

We want to know what you think. • What did you like in this issue? • What do you want to see more or less of? • Know a teacher, coach, or special person who makes local family life better? • Know of an upcoming event or fun family outing? • Want to write stories or recipes, or blog for Family Life?



Find the humor. Laughing is essential to caregiving. Sometimes life is so hard the only thing you can do is laugh. And somehow it makes things a little easier to bear.


Accept help. Know that it is imperative to seek and accept assistance. No one single caregiver, regardless of the situation, can do it all without damaging her or his own physical health and mental well-being.

Embrace the caregiving journey and learn to advocate. Never let another person tell you anything else that makes you feel hopeless or hesitant to

Laughing is essential to caregiving. aggressively advocate for a loved one. Gain the knowledge to be an advocate or hire the services of an advocate. Caregiving is not for the timid—be visible and share what you have learned with others. ¶ Pamela D. Wilson is a certified senior advisor who helps family and professional caregivers to navigate healthcare concerns. Her latest book is The Caregiving Trap: Solutions for Life’s Unexpected Changes (Morgan James Publishing, 2015). Find out more at


333 Laws Ave., Ukiah

(707) 468-1010 LAKEVIEW

5335 Lakeshore Blvd. Lakeport

(707) 263-7725


Monkey see, monkey do. Happy, healthy parents make happy, healthy children. If you haven't had your regular check-up, call us today.

45 Hazel St., Willits

WE ACCEPT Medicare, Medi-Cal, Partnership and other insurance.


(707) 456-9600

September 2016

MendoLakeFamilyLife 17

Close to You

The Parent-Child Attachment Relationship By Robert Keith Wallace and Frederick Travis


t’s important for you to know that it is mostly your relationship with your son or daughter that makes him [or her] feel secure and protected. This relationship goes much deeper than just physical care, such as feeding and putting the child to sleep. It is about the quality of your attention. Your loving attention creates a haven of safety and comfort from which your child can explore his environment. Your positive attention builds this relationship and is the single most important factor determining your child’s emotional stability, cognitive and language development, and sense of self-worth, as well as his capacity for dealing with stress and adversity. Simply put, positive attention is a big deal.

Your response to your baby when he is frightened, ill, or emotionally hurt is a primary element in your relationship. Beginning at around six months of age, infants can anticipate your response to their distress, and shape their own behavior accordingly. If, for instance, you consistently respond to your child’s distress promptly and lovingly by holding the baby close and reassuring him, your child will 18 MendoLakeFamilyLife

learn to more freely express emotions. The child will also seek you out when frightened and remain with you until he feels safe again. On the other hand, if you respond by ignoring or ridiculing your child’s distress, or by becoming annoyed, he will develop quite a different pattern of behavior— avoiding you when distressed and hiding negative emotions.

It’s remarkable how deeply children internalize the quality of our attention. And neuroscience explains why: Each experience is imprinted in the brain in physical form as neuronal pathways. If a child cries and doesn’t receive attention, this triggers the amygdala, which acts like the brain’s fire alarm, signaling that something is wrong. The amygdala then sets off the fight-or-flight response, and part of this response is to be wary and fearful of others. If this happens to the child repeatedly, it strengthens the brain circuits

If you consistently respond to your child’s distress promptly and lovingly…your child will learn to more freely express emotions. that support distrust, a lack of desire to interact with others, and a belief that the world is an unwelcoming and even dangerous place. The latest research shows that our experiences even change our DNA. We’re familiar with DNA as the molecules containing bits of information that determine everything from the color of our eyes to the size of our feet. But our DNA also determines how we respond to stress. Genetic research is now exploring how genes (segments of DNA) can be turned on and off by different types of experiences and stimuli.

September 2016

Research has clearly demonstrated that a negative attachment relationship makes children more vulnerable to stress and less able to control their anger, hostility, and aggression. Such children also have low self-esteem, impaired cognitive development, and poorer academic performance. This may continue throughout their lives: a negative mother-child relationship

A positive attachment relationship has a positive effect on a child’s development. is the most powerful predictor of addiction and mental instability in adults. Research also shows—as you may already have guessed—that a positive attachment relationship has a positive effect on a child’s development. For example, one study of altruism in toddlers showed that they were more likely to help an adult— by handing them something they’d dropped—if someone had played with them just before. Another study showed that toddlers who felt more secure were also more likely to help. Should you let your child cry? Babies can’t talk yet, so crying is their only way to communicate with you. They’re not crying in order to manipulate you, as some have believed in the past; rather, they are in distress and crying out for help. Any concern about “spoiling” or creating dependency is completely unfounded and illogical. How can you spoil a baby by helping it when it needs help? Infants cannot change their own diapers or feed themselves. And how will they learn to soothe themselves if they don’t

know what it feels like to be soothed? Research shows that it’s much better to pick up babies promptly when they start crying. It also shows that if you do this consistently during the first six months of life, then by the time the child is a year old he will naturally: • Cry less • Learn how to “self-soothe” and to respond more quickly to soothing • Form a positive parent-child relationship This principle doesn’t end when children start talking—or when they start school, or even when they start driving or go off to college. At every age, if your child asks for help, stop and give him your attention and help. Your kids might not walk up to you and say, “I really need your help on

this.” It may be more of a silent cry for help. You might notice that they’re not their usual bouncy little selves, or not doing so well in school, or that they’ve become sullen and irritable. Be careful not to swoop in and fix their problems for them, but rather, provide support so they can figure out how to solve the problems themselves, or, if necessary, with your help. Children won’t learn how to approach a problem by sitting around bewildered; kids learn by finding solutions, first with your help and, gradually, by themselves. ¶ Excerpted from Dharma Parenting: Understand Your Child’s Brilliant Brain for Greater Happiness, Health, Success, and Fulfillment, by Robert Keith Wallace and Fred Travis, with the permission of TarcherPerigee, an imprint of Penguin Random House. Copyright © 2016 by Robert Keith Wallace and Fred Travis.

Family health care for all of Lake County.


September 2016

MendoLakeFamilyLife 19

Play With Me

rest is up to your child, and you’ll see him become quite creative in directing things as the spotlight of your attention shines on him. On a day when you haven’t got much patience, you can set up a short Special Time. On an easier day, you can be more generous. There’s always a start and an end to Special Time. Your child looks forward to the start of it. Many parents look forward to the end. A commitment to a limited period of time will give you greater tolerance for the interesting things your child chooses to do.

By Patty Wipfler

How Special Time Helps Kids Behave

A sense of connection confers real powers on your child. It grants him the ability to think, to cooperate, to feel good about himself and the people around him. It opens up avenues to learning. And it helps him develop judgment over time. The practice of Special Time will help you to keep this bond of connection strong.

You may be thinking, “But I already do a lot of special time with my kids! I take them to the park on weekends, let them splash and play in the bath, sing with them. We have a lot of fun times together.” You’re right! Those times are important. But those times won’t have the same effect as Special Time. You enjoy your children as they splash in the tub, but if the phone rings, you answer it. If your partner enters the bathroom to discuss the neighbor’s noisy music, you converse. In Special Time, you refuse to be distracted. You focus on just 20 MendoLakeFamilyLife

You say when and where you’ll have time to connect. Your child tells you how. one child. You make arrangements for your other children, and the phone is off limits. In Special Time, unlike normal life, your child runs the show. You do set the conditions: for example, Special Time will be for 15 minutes, we can go inside or outside, but no car today, and we won’t spend money. The

What can you accomplish with Special Time? Parents I know have used just five minutes of it to turn a clingy child at a party into one who can go play with the other children; to dispel their child’s edginess at family gatherings; to help children release fears of many kinds; and to help a child reconnect with a separated parent after long times apart. Here’s how one frustrated mother used Special Time to create much-needed change. I dreaded our mornings. They left an emotional scar on me every day. Nobody wanted to be rushed, and the cooperation was nil. “Please brush your teeth,” I would say. I was met with, “I am not going to school!” “I am not brushing my teeth.” After trying every threat and punishment I could think of…we started getting up 30 minutes early so we could play! I mean, really play! We started with Special Time. My husband and I would trade off playing with each girl so each of them got a chance with each parent. We just did 20 minutes right after breakfast, before we asked them to do that infinite list

September 2016

of chores before they went to school. It worked! They actually brushed their teeth without my threats! They even made their beds without me helping. It was amazing. Just those few minutes with them “filled up their cup” with love and attention. Yes, it takes time and effort, but it is worth it! Twenty minutes in the mornings has given me hours of peace and love.

How to Do Special Time • Name it. Any name will do, but there has to be a name: “Special Time”; “Daddy-and-Noah Time”; “Kids Rule Time.” Naming it emphasizes that the time is theirs, and you intend to pay full attention.

In Special Time, you refuse to be distracted. You focus on just one child. • If possible, set a date and a time. But when life is a scramble, or when your child’s behavior is spinning out of control, just announce, “Special Time!” and do it on the spur of the moment. • To begin, say, “It’s your Special Time. I’ll play anything you want to play!” These words are hard for parents to say, but they’re important. They open up broad vistas for your child. They also pry you out of the “I need to be in control” mindset. The break can be refreshing. • Set a timer. Special Time must have a start and an end. A timer frames your attention. It also helps you out when your child chooses to do something you don’t love.

five or ten minutes. Many parents find it surprisingly difficult to let their child lead them in play. Better to offer a shorter time and lengthen it at the end if you choose than to lose focus before it’s over. • End with affection. You’ve just spent time with a marvelously intelligent young person. So close with a hug or a high-five, and tell your child when the next Special Time will be. ¶ Patty Wipfler is the founder and program director of the parenting nonprofit Hand in Hand. Find out more about her work at handinhandparenting. org. Excerpted from Listen: Five Simple Tools to Meet Your Everyday Parenting Challenges by Patty Wipfler and Tosha Schore. Copyright © Hand in Hand Parenting, 2016.


n u FBlast! Weekend

Find out what’s happening this weekend.

The Special Time “Don’t” List • Don’t give your child advice. Don’t teach; don’t point out lessons you think might be important. For example, don’t ask him to count the snail shells he’s collected. Let him have his own inner purpose as he plays. • Don’t multitask. Don’t carry the folded towels to the cupboard as your child leads you to his room. You’re in the presence of a remarkable human being. Laundry can wait. • Don’t talk to others. Phone off. Don’t even think of texting! • Don’t modify your child’s ideas unless his safety is at risk, and then, try to find a work-around. If he wants to play soccer in the street like the big kids do on Sunday afternoons, just say, “Today’s Tuesday. There are lots of cars. Want to walk over to the park instead?” • Don’t take “personal time off” in the middle of Special Time. Before you set the timer, take a trip to the bathroom; get a drink of water; or munch on half an apple so you’re ready to roll. • Don’t use Special Time as a reward. When you see how your child comes to treasure Special Time, it will seem logical to say, “Honey, we can’t do Special Time until you tidy up your room.” But don’t! Your child needs the sense of connection that Special Time builds. So offer it with no strings attached, like you offer fruit and fresh water.

• To start, offer a short time—say,

September 2016

MendoLakeFamilyLife 21

September Calendar of Events

Cows, Cars & Cotton Candy


hether your family’s idea of a good time is bidding on a bovine, watching a motorcycle make short work of dirt, or drooling over an award-winning dessert, you’ll find what you’re looking for at the Lake County Fair. Enjoy the Fiesta of the Horse, a junior livestock auction, motorcycle and boat races, and chocolate cake and fruit crisp contests, among other activities. The festivities, which will be held at the Lake County Fairgrounds in Lakeport, start with a parade at 5:30 p.m. on September 1 and continue through September 4. Dates and hours are as follows: September 1: 6–11 p.m.; September 2: 4–11 p.m.; September 3 and 4: 11 a.m.–11 p.m. Tickets are $10 for ages 12 and up, $6 for ages 6–11 and 60 and up. Children under the age of 5 are free. On September 1, kids 11 and under get in for $3. For more information, including a complete schedule of events, see ¶

Thursday 1 Lake County Fair. Thru Sept. 4. Sept 1: 6–11 p.m. (parade 5:30 p.m.) Sept. 2: 4–11 p.m. Sept. 3 & 4: 11 a.m.–11 p.m. Adults: $10. Ages 6–11 & 60 & up: $6. Ages 5 & under: Free. Sept. 1 only, ages 6–11: $3. Lake County Fairgrounds. 401 Martin St., Lakeport.

Friday 2 FREE Summer Concert Under the Stars. Dancing,

food & wine. J. Silverheels Band (classic rock). Kids & well-behaved pets welcome. No outside drinks/food. 6–9 p.m. Langtry Estate & Vineyards. 21000 Butts Canyon Rd., Middletown. 995-7521. Paul Bunyan Days. Kiddie games,

craft fair, parade, logging show, classic car show, fireman’s ball, gem & mineral show & much more. Thru Sept. 5. Fort Bragg. See website for a complete schedule of events & venues.

Paul Bunyan Log Rolling Tournament. Entrants are grouped

by age: ages 9–11, ages 12–14, ages 15–17 & adults. Space limited. Sign up at C. V. Starr Center front desk. Free to members or $5–$11 drop-in rate. Practice time: 4–5 p.m. Contest: 5–7:30 p.m. C. V. Starr Community Center. 300 S. Lincoln St., Fort Bragg. 964-9446.

Saturday 3 FREE Fishing Day. The

California Department of Fish & Wildlife invites all Californians to fish, no license required. All fishing regulations, fishing hours & stream closures remain in effect. wildlife. 6th Annual Pints in the Plaza.

Featuring dozens of local award-winning microbrews & ciders. Live music. 21 & older only. $20. 3–7 p.m. Alex R. Thomas Plaza. 310 S. State St., Ukiah. FREE Tricycle Race. Part of the

Paul Bunyan Days. Sign-ups: 9:30 a.m. 22 MendoLakeFamilyLife

Race: 10 a.m. E. Laurel St., Fort Bragg. FREE Kiddie Parade. Just for kids— on foot or bikes, in wagons, or with animals. Dress as a favorite book character. Sign-ups: 11 a.m. Parade: 11:30 a.m. Laurel & McPherson Streets, Fort Bragg. FREE Ugly Dog Contest. Not just for ugly dogs. Pups of all shapes, sizes, talents & appearance compete to be top dog. No entry fee. Registration: 2–2:45 p.m. Contest: 3 p.m. C. V. Starr Community Center. 300 S. Lincoln St., Fort Bragg. Claws for a Cause. Lobster

dinner to benefit the Seabiscuit Therapeutic Riding Center. $80. 5–9 p.m. Ridgewood Ranch. Howard House. 16200 N. Hwy. 101, Willits. 97th Annual Fireman’s Ball. Listen

to the band Highway One. No-host bar. 21 years & older only. $10. Free rides home. 9 p.m.–1:30 a.m. Pentecost Hall. 822 Stewart St., Fort Bragg.

September 2016

Spirit of America. Celebration of American music. Featured performers: Acafella, In the Mix, Sandy Glickfeld, Jack Leung & Mendocino Coast Brass Ensemble. Individuals: $20. Couples: $30. Benefits Fort Bragg Food Bank. First Presbyterian Church. 367 S. Sanderson Way, Fort Bragg. 964-9404.

Sunday 4 FREE First Fiddlers’ Jam. Listen

to fiddle tunes played by members of the Northern California Old Time Fiddlers Group. Noon–2 p.m. Ely Stage Stop. 9921 Soda Bay Rd., Kelseyville. FREE Seafood & Harbor Festival.

Seafood (including albacore kabobs), beer & wine, kids’ activities, live music & craft vendors. No dogs. No parking fee. Noon–6 p.m. Arena Cove, Point Arena. Lions Annual Pancake Breakfast.

Pancakes, eggs, sausage, fruit salad, OJ & coffee. $8. 8 a.m.–noon. Mendocino Firehouse. Lansing St., Mendocino.

Monday 5 Steam Donkey Fun Run & Walk.

One-mile walk & run in historic downtown. Adults: $20. Ages 17 & under: $10. Registration: 9–10:15 a.m. Race: 10:30 a.m. Benefits Mendocino Coast Recreation & Park. Hwy. One & Laurel St., Fort Bragg. Labor Day BBQ. Beef, pork, lamb,

goat, hot dogs & veggie burgers with all the fixings. Live music, raffle prizes, silent auction. Adults: $15. Kids under 12, seniors over 60, military: $10. Noon–4 p.m. Benefits local


September 2016

MendoLakeFamilyLife 23

scholarships & youth drug & alcohol prevention. College of the Redwoods Field. Fort Bragg. events/1733899133494338.

Tuesday 6 FREE From Traumatized Youth to Thriving Youth. Learn how to assist

youth to maximize their potential & develop resilience to everyday challenges. 5:30–6:30 p.m. Willits Center for the Arts. 71 E. Commercial St., Willits. 456-9676.

Thursday 8 FREE Doing Business on the Internet Workshop. Introduction to

In Bound marketing & the process for increasing business visibility & website visitors. 1:30–3:30 p.m. Lake County Jazzercise. 15642 Armstrong

St., Middletown. Registration required: 263-5092.

Friday 9

Saturday 10 FREE Dancing Horses: A Dressage Festival. Wine-tasting & food

Granite Construction’s 18th Annual Chili Cook-Off. Taste chili from local

businesses as they compete for awards. 6 p.m. Adults: $10. Ages 11–6: $5. Ages 5 & under: Free. Benefits the Boys & Girls Club. Alex R. Thomas Plaza. 310 S. State St., Ukiah. Feed Fort Bragg. Call for volunteers. Help harvest the garden’s bounty & deliver it to the Fort Bragg Food Bank. Mondays & Fridays. 9:30 a.m.–12:30 p.m. Mendocino Coast Botanical Gardens. 18220 Hwy. 1, Fort Bragg. 964-4352, ext. 10.

for purchase. Silent auction. 3–6 p.m. Highland Springs Equestrian Center. 8900 Wight Way, Kelseyville. 415-350-1540. 9th Annual Lake County AIDS Walk. Benefits support services for

those living with HIV/AIDS in our community. 11 a.m.–3 p.m. Library Park. 225 Park St., Lakeport. 995-1606. Valley Fire Tribute Concert. A

blues benefit concert to help rebuild homes lost in the Valley & Clayton Fires. Crafts, food, wine, beer, raffles, silent auction. $15. Ages 12 & under: Free. 2–6 p.m. Ely Stage Stop & Country Museum. 9921 Soda Bay

Â?–‘„‡”ˆ‡•–ƒÂ?‡’‘”– —Â?ˆ‘”ƒŽŽƒ‰‡• …–‘„‡”ͳ•–ǥʹͲͳ͸ ͳͳƒÂ?–͝’Â? ‘™Â?–‘™Â?ƒÂ?‡’‘”–

‘‹�–Š‡ —�Ǩ

‡‡” ƒ”†‡�ˆ‡ƒ–—”‹�‰�‹…”‘„”‡™• ƒ…Š•Š—�†”ƒ…‡•



”‡ƒ– ‡”�ƒ�ˆ‘‘† —•‹…ƒŽŽ†ƒ›


–”‡‡–†ƒÂ?…‡™‹–Š–Š‡ ‹Â?‹ƒÂ?†ǥ͸’Â?

24 MendoLakeFamilyLife


September 2016

Rd., Kelseyville. lakecountybluesbenefits. FREE Teen Leadership Council.

Teens will gain valued skills & experience helping with projects, designing a new teen space, planning events & recommending books. Pizza provided. All teens welcome. 3–4 p.m. Ukiah Library. 105 N. Main St., Ukiah. Grace Hudson Museum’s 30th

South Ukiah Rotary Triathlon.

Registration: $80–$100. Lake Mendocino, Ukiah. Summer Feast Covelo. Dance, drumming, poetry & music. Presented by Dance Brigade’s Dance Mission Theater. $15. Ages 12 & under: Free. 4 p.m. 1 Zone


Anniversary Gala Celebration.

Sparkling wine, hors d’oeuvres, catered dinner, music, live & silent auctions. $95. Benefits museum. 5:30–10 p.m. Grace Hudson Museum. 431 S. Main St., Willits. 467-2836. Ukiah Symphony’s Season Gala Opening: Our Own Back Yard!

Works by Jeff Ives & Clovis Lewis. Symphony 103 in E-flat Major “Drumroll” by Hadyn. Adults: $25. Seniors: $20. Students w/ASB card & under 18: Free. Sept. 10: 8 p.m. Sept. 11: 3 p.m. Mendocino College Center Theatre. 1000 Hensley Creek Rd., Ukiah. 462-0236. Highland Senior Center Dinner & Dance Benefit. Dance to Lou Derr &

Bootleg. $35. Proceeds go to the center. 5–10 p.m. Highlands Senior Service Center. 3245 Bowers Ave., Clearlake.

Sunday 11 FREE Dog Daze & Cat Naps. Musical

dog chairs, pet photos & the “Any Dog Can Win Dog Show.” Dogs must be on leash. Proceeds benefit Redwood Humane Society. 11 a.m.–2 p.m. Gualala Community Center. 47950 Center St., Gualala. 884-3179.


Wednesday 14 North American Permaculture Convergence. Live

music, dancing, 2 Zones 3 Zones workshops, skill shares, local food



Hidden Oaks Park. 76699 Covelo Rd., Covelo. 800-838-3006.



$1.06/ride (1 punch)






(2 punches)

(3 punches)

MTA$8.50 has three great options 16 punches: $17, Seniors/Disabled:

Riding Green is $57 a Bargain $35 $85 MONTHLY Option PASS

as low as1 Zone

$1.13/ride 1 Zonetravelled

travelled$1.50 Option CASH FARE rides per month Unlimited PUNCH $1.06/ride PASS (1 punch)


16 punches: $17, Seniors/Disabled: $8.50

as low2 Zones as

travelled $1.84/ride 2 Zones

travelled $2.25



(2 punches)

as3low as Zones

travelled $2.74/ride 3 Zones

travelled $3.00



(3 punches)

Mendocino College-Willits Campus MONTHLY $35 PASS as low as

Redwood $57 Academy $85 as low as as low as Unlimited per monthSchool $1.13/ride $1.84/ride $2.74/ride Willitsrides Charter Ukiah Adult School $1.06/ride $2.12/ride $3.18/ride PUNCH Mendocino College-Ukiah Campus (2Accelerated Achievement (1Ukiah punch) punches) (3 punches) Serving Willits/Ukiah Adult School Mendocino High School (Local 9 service until 10:10 pm • Saturdays 8 amAchievement to 5 pm) PASS Academy Mendocino College-Willits Campus Accelerated Mendocino Alternative Academy Willits Charter School Academy Serving Fort Bragg 16 punches: $17, Seniors/Disabled: Waldorf School Mendocino College-Ukiah Campus River Oak Charter School$8.50River Oak Dana Gray ElementarySchool School Charter (Local 9 service until 10:10 pm Pomolita Redwood Elementary School Saturdays 8 am to 5 pm) Shelter Cove School Ukiah Junior Academy St. Mary’s Pomolita Waldorf School New Beginnings School Noyo High School Ukiah Junior Academy Serving Mendocino Bragg High School Ukiah High School $35 $57 Fort $85 Ukiah High School Mendocino Grammar School St. Mary’s Mendocino College Coast Center MONTHLY Redwood Academy


asMendocino low as Middle School


Unlimited rides per month


as low asFort Bragg Middle School as low as



Mendocino Transit Authority 800-696-4MTA Mendocino College-Willits Campus • Redwood Academy Willits Charter School Ukiah Adult School 25 September 2016 MendoLakeFamilyLife Mendocino College-Ukiah Campus Accelerated Achievement

& artisan vendors. Thru Sept. 18. See website tickets. Solar Living Institute. 3771 Hwy. 101, Hopland.

Thursday 15 FREE Kickin’ In the Country Street Dance. The Prather Brothers band

(’70s & ’80s rock). Bring chairs & dancing shoes. 7–10 p.m. Main St., Kelseyville.

Friday 16 FREE Concerts on the Green. Lake County Diamonds band. No personal alcohol or dogs allowed. BBQ on sale. 5–8 p.m. Hidden Valley Lake Golf Course Practice Green. 19210 Hartmann Rd., Hidden Valley Lake. FREE Art House Gallery Family Fun Night. Live music & different art forms. 6–8 p.m. Art House Gallery.

15210 Lakeshore Dr., Ste. 1, Clearlake. Mendocino County Fair & Apple Show. CCPRA rodeos, classic car

show, sheep dog trials, carnival, apple & cider tasting. Thru Sept. 18. 9 a.m.–midnight. $3–$9. Mendocino County Fairgrounds. 14400 Hwy. 128, Boonville.

Saturday 17 Annual Quilt & Fiber Arts Show Reception. Demos of spinning,

weaving & basket-making. Noon–2 p.m. Show runs thru Oct. 15. Lower Lake Historic Schoolhouse Museum. 16435 Main St., Lower Lake. 995-3565.

Get Your SCARE On!

California Cider Competition’s Grand Tasting. Taste the best ciders in the

REAL Costumes for the True Monster in You 20% OFF REGULARLY PRICED CHILDREN’S COSTUMES THRU OCT. 31 707-463-2624 • 178 E. GOBBI ST. • UKIAH

Love Working with Kids?

WORK AT HOME • CHOOSE YOUR OWN HOURS • WORK WITH CHILDREN Own Your Own Business • Free Training and other great incentives for attending fun workshops. • Child Care Assistance for lowincome eligible families. • Free Child Care Referrals.

1-800-606-5550 ext. 211 26 MendoLakeFamilyLife

Rural Communities Child Care

state—produced by local orchards. Meet cider makers. Part of Mendocino County Fair & Apple Show. Sept. 17: Noon–5 p.m. Sept. 18: Noon–5 p.m. Mendocino County Fairgrounds. 14400 Hwy. 128, Boonville. Autism: What Works? EvidenceBased Practices Across a Lifetime.

Conference presented by C. A. Autism Professional Training & Info Network. 9 a.m.–4 p.m. Lower Lake High School. 9430 Lake St., Lower Lake. Preregistration required. $25. Send check to: Lake County Office of Education, 6945 Old Hwy. 53, Clearlake. Or register online: FREE Clear Lake Seaplane Splash-In. Family fun with activities

for adults & children. Ages 12 & up: $3. Under age 12: Free. Thru Sept. 18. 9 a.m.–5 p.m. Natural High School. 810 N. Main St., Lakeport. 263-5092.

September 2016

FREE Indian Day Celebration.

Opening prayer, traditional dances, native cuisine, vendors, live music. Noon–5 p.m. Twin Pine Casino & Hotel. 22223 Hwy. 29, Middletown. FREE End of Summer Show-N-Shine.

Hot rods, street rods, classics, customs & antique autos. Food & live music. Free to attend. $20 to enter a car into the show. 7 a.m.–3 p.m. School St., Downtown Ukiah. Register a car by calling: 462-6789. 8th Annual Rising Stars Music Showcase. Multi-musician,

multi-genre competition. Musicians from Lake & Mendocino Counties compete for prizes & support local nonprofits. 10 a.m. Alex R. Thomas

Plaza. 310 S. State St., Ukiah. Pet Adoption Day. Mendocino Coast Humane Society will be at the Mendocino Coast Botanical Gardens with adoptable animals. 11 a.m.–3 p.m. Mendocino Coast Botanical Gardens. 18220 Hwy. 1, Fort Bragg. Una Gran Cena Mexicana.

Fundraiser for Ukiah United Methodist Church’s Building Project. Suggested donations: $6–$10 for 3 tacos & a drink. 6–8 p.m. United Methodist Church. 270 N. Pine St., Ukiah. Blues, Brews & BBQ. $60 includes

dinner, beer & live music by the Plowshares Blues Band. Benefit for Meals on Wheels. 6–10 p.m.

Now Accepting K-12 Registration

Barra of Mendocino. 7051 N. State St., Redwood Valley. 462-8582. FREE Coastal Clean-Up Day.

Volunteer experience for people of all ages. 9 a.m.–noon. Find a local beach to clean up: FREE Lake County History: A Mystical Adventure in Time. Know

Lake County series presented by author Gene Paleno. 2–4 p.m. Lakeport Library. 1425 N. High St., Lakeport.

Sunday 18 Colors for Cancer: 5K Run & Walk.

Cross-country course for families. Participants are bombarded with colored dye at various locations throughout the run. Adults: $40. Youth: $25. Registration: 7:30 a.m.

Mendocino Ballet Mendocino Ballet Dance this ClassesFall! Dance Dance Classes Ballet classes for ages 3-Adult

Ballet classes for ages class 3-Adult Tap/Ballet for ages 4-7

Ukiah Independent Study Academy Serving K-12

Flex Time & Days • Tailored Learning Eligible for UHS Sports • Middle College Opportunity College & Career Readiness • WASC Accredited


1000 Low Gap Rd., Ukiah • 707-472-5906

Tap/Ballet class for ages 4-7 Tap classes for 7-Adult Tap classes forages ages 7-Adult Ballet classes for ages 3-Adult Jazz/Contemporary classes Jazz/Contemporary classes

Tap/Ballet class for ages 4-7 Classes start

Special intensive classes in in September

Tapforclasses ages August our Art offor Classical

7-Adult Check our website for Ballet program Jazz/Contemporary updated class lists!classes

Special classes for Special intensive classes in our annual Nutcracker

For more information call our office performance at 463-2290 or For m August for our Art of Classical email at For more information callFacebook, our office at 463-2290 Follow us on or Twitter email at and Instagram!Ballet program Follow us on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram!

“Where Dance Come “WhereDreams Dreams toto Dance Come True!”True!”

For more information call our office at 463-2290 or MendoLakeFamilyLife 27 email at Follow us on Facebook,

September 2016

Mendocino Ballet

Race: 9 a.m. Redwood Empire Fairgrounds. 1055 N. State St., Ukiah. 463-7623.

Friday 23 Kelseyville Pear Festival Kick-Off Dinner & Concert. Tri-tip & smoked

chicken dinner with wine. Music by cowboy singer Dave Stamey. 5 p.m. $50. Wildhurst Tasting Room Courtyard. 3855 Main St., Kelseyville. 279-4302.

Saturday 24

things “pear.” 7 a.m.–5 p.m. (Parade: 9:30 a.m.) Main St., Kelseyville. 278-7268. FREE Taylor Observatory Public

3 p.m. $30. Under age 12: $20. Emandal–A Farm on a River. 16500 Hearst Post Office Rd., Willits.

Program. Prof.

FREE National Park Public

Stephen Kane speaks on exoplanets. Dress warmly. Adults: $5. K–12 students: Free. 7:30–11 p.m. Planetarium shows: 7:30 & 9 p.m. Telescope viewing: 9–11 p.m. Taylor Observatory. 5725 Oak Hills Ln., Kelseyville. facebook. com/friendsoftaylorobservatory /?fref=ts.

FREE Kelseyville Pear Festival.

Not Just Cowboy Poetry. Concert

Hometown fun with activities, craft booths, art show, children’s playland, musicians, dancers & cloggers, horse faire, antique car, engine & tractor shows & pavilion showcasing all

by boogie-woogie pianist Wendy DeWitt & cowboy band Dust In My Coffee. Cowboy poetry by Dick Warwick. Pizza, pie & ice cream for sale. Festivities: 2 p.m. Concert:

Lands Day. Entrance fees waived. Volunteer to clean up & maintain national parks. Find a participating park near you: public-lands-day.

Sunday 25 The Harvest Bike Ride. Various

length routes, 3–100 miles. $50–$65. Under age 15: $15. Proceeds benefit the Boys & Girls Club of Ukiah. 6 a.m.–4 p.m. Fetzer Vineyards. 12901 Old River Rd., Hopland.

mendo lake


#1 local resource for for 25 years local families

magazine • web • email • events

28 MendoLakeFamilyLife

September 2016

Marketplace Tutoring


Tuition-free Montessori elementary for ages 5-13  Hands-on, arts and music integrated with academics

 National Green Campus  Promotes responsibility, respect, and peace

307 North State Street Ukiah


Hot Rod Heaven


ast cars give a final nod to summer’s freedom at the End of Summer Show-N-Shine car show. Imagine yourself sporting a sweet ride as you listen to live music and stroll through hotrods, street rods, and even classic and antique cars. The action happens on September 17, 7 a.m.–3 p.m., on School Street in Historic Downtown Ukiah. The show is free; for those who wish to enter a car, the fee is $20. To request a registration entry form, e-mail or call 462-6789. ¶

mendo lake


#1 local for 25 years resource for local families magazine • web • email • events

YOUR AD HERE Classifieds Work Call 586-9562

La Vida

Charter School • Free K-12 Public Charter • Home Study with On-Site Classes • WASC Accredited 707-459-6344 16201 N. Hwy. 101, Willits

Accelerated Achievement Academy • • • •

Free Public School Grades 4-12 Small classes Support for struggling students

(707) 463-7080 1031 N. State St.

Honor the Ancestors


omo Native Americans have inhabited Lake County for more than 11,800 years. Learn more about their rich culture at the free Annual Indian Day Celebration. The day will begin with prayer and continue with traditional dances and music. Sample native cuisine while you take in arts and crafts. The event will be held on September 17, noon–5 p.m., at the Twin Pine Casino and Hotel in Middletown. For more information, see ¶


Get Mom’s Attention!

Located on north end of Fairgrounds PO Box 966 Ukiah 95482

Like Us On Facebook

September 2016

MendoLakeFamilyLife 29

Cooking with Kids

A+ School Lunch How to Pack Healthy Meals with Kid Appeal By Lisa Ludwigsen


ach school year generates feelings of excitement and anticipation for so many new beginnings—new friends, new teachers, and the fun of learning new things. For parents, the school year also presents the challenge of creating yummy, nutritious lunches that kids will actually eat.

Chef Bridget Harrington, mom of two and co-owner of two local restaurants, Patrona and Chop Chop, has spent years figuring out the secrets to cool school chow. She says the best lunches keep processed products to a minimum, use high-quality food, and are fun to eat. She offers these suggestions for on-the-go kid grub. Be Prepared “Whenever possible, I make a big pot of something on the weekend that I can repurpose in lunches throughout the week,” Harrington offers. “A pot of rice or chili or a few chicken breasts go a long way in school lunches. If our weekends are just too busy, I keep a supply of healthy canned soups. I also buy beans and grains in bulk because of the quality and value pricing.” 30 MendoLakeFamilyLife

“My kids like having something warm for lunch, so I’ll heat up Amy’s Kitchen veggie chili and put it in a small, wide-mouthed thermos,” says Harrington. “The kids like topping it with a little grated cheese and using chips as dippers. It’s warm, crunchy, filling, and kind of fancy for them. In a pinch, I’ll also heat up a can of

“Whenever possible, I make a big pot of something on the weekend that I can repurpose in lunches throughout the week.” —Chef Bridget Harrington

chicken noodle soup for lunch. I can do it while throwing together breakfast and getting everyone ready in the morning.” Wrap It Up Looking for ways to sneak veggies into your kids’ diets? Wraps come to the rescue, says Harrington. “Kids don’t realize that a wrap is basically a mobile salad. I buy Sonoma Organic Tortillas and fill them with lots of lettuce or spinach, hummus or cheese, and turkey or chicken. My son’s go-to combo is goat cheese because it’s spreadable, sliced turkey, and a big handful of lettuce. I’ll use

one large tortilla and cut it in half for two days of sandwiches,” she suggests. Give Sugar the Stink Eye Ditch snacks made with refined sugar for healthy sweets like fruit, advises Harrington. For an extra-special chocolaty goodie, try Bridget’s Yogurt Chocolate “Pudding” (recipe below), which is sweetened with only a little maple syrup.

Bridget’s Yogurt Chocolate “Pudding” • Fill a small 2–4 oz. reusable container with Straus organic plain yogurt. Straus yogurt has the right consistency to make a pudding-like treat. • Mix in 1–2 teaspoons maple syrup, to taste. • Stir in about 1 teaspoon unsweetened cocoa powder, such as Ghirardelli.

Whether your on-the-go meal is very basic or a bit more sophisticated, the important thing is that kids should enjoy eating it. Food should be celebrated and savored every day, including at school lunch. ¶ Lisa Ludwigsen is the marketing manager for the Ukiah Natural Foods Co-op,

September 2016


Friday September 9 Alex R. Thomas Jr Plaza in Downtown Ukiah 6 PM

Ticket Prices: $10 Adults, $5 Kids 11-6 and 5 & Under Free! Taste Chili from Local business as they compete for Awards: Best Chili • People’s Choice Hottest Chili • Best Booth Best Dressed Most Generous & Crookedest Team

11 mile family ride 31 mile fun ride

62 mile “rolling” route 65 mile “hilly” route


The Fetzer Barn • 12901 Old River Road Hopland, CA Bring your entire family and join us for our 18th year as we cycle through breathtaking views of the harvest season in beautiful Mendocino County.

Choose any route, then join us for a great post ride party with: BBQ Lunch • Cold Drinks • Live Music Goody Bag • Kids’ Activities.

Granite Construction’s 18th Annual Chili Cookoff Fundraiser Supporting the Boys & Girls Club of Ukiah Join us and cast your vote! Questions about the Chili Cookoff call Liz at 707-467-4900 or Jason at 707-467-4148 For more Information Visit Our Facebook Event Page Granite Construction Chili Cookoff to benefit Boys & Girls Club of Ukiah

OF UKIAH All proceeds benefit the Boys and Girls Club of Ukiah.

Register Today at

Contact Us at 707.467.4900 or e-mail Thomas Zimlich at

free children’s health fair

Wild About Health Health Screenings | Fun Activities | Prizes Shriner’s Hospital Screening

Sunday October 2, 2016 11 a.m.– 3 p.m. | Alex Rorabaugh Center

1640 S. State Street Ukiah, CA | Grace Hudson Elementary School

Bike Safety Course Bring your bike & helmet Or receive a FREE helmet at the event

For children 0-12 & their families Call 707.463.7524 or 707.463.6008 for more information

Major Underwriters:

Like us on Facebook!

Mendo Lake Family Life September 2016