Mendo Lake Family Life June 2022

mendo lake FREE!

June 2022

Fun in the Sun 45 local events

Energy Balls Easy to make

Vacay Apps

Save money

Daddy’s Girl

24 great places to bond

We’ve got big news!

Dr. Julia Katsuura New Pediatrician

“

at Little Lake Health Center in Willits

Being a parent helps me understand the many questions and concerns that parents face.

”

45 HAZEL STREET, WILLITS

(707) 456-9600 1-855-FOR-MCHC

WE ACCEPT MEDI-CAL, MEDICARE, PARTNERSHIP AND OTHER INSURANCE. SE HABLA ESPAÑOL.

mchcinc.org •

MCHC HEALTH CENTERS IS AN EQUAL OPPORTUNITY PROVIDER AND EMPLOYER.

TRAILERS

BOATS

MOTORHOMES

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June 2022

Every Issue

14

6

Dear Reader

7

Cooking with Kids Balls of Energy

8

Bending Time A Picnic with Swings

Features 10 Avoid the Summer Slide How to help kids keep their brains in gear.

12 Money-Saving Vacay Apps Get the best deals on gas and rentals.

14 Dads & Daughters Great ways to enjoy quality time.

16 Stop That Tick!

How to keep campers safe.

Bits and Pieces

Pigs, Sheep, and Goats, Oh My!

18 Nine Personality Types

A Taste of Purple

What number are you?

Critters for Kids

20 Enneagram for Kids Help kids understand themselves.

22 What’s Social Emotional Learning?

Lessons in self-regulation.

8

Feel the Beat

26 Calendar of Events Forty-five local summer activities.

32 Humor Break Poker Face

24 Communicate with Kids Teach little ones to manage big feelings.

8

7 4 MendoLakeFamilyLife

June 2022

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Have More Fun & Create Great Memories GET OUR FREE WEEKLY EMAIL FEATURING THE BEST LOCAL FAMILY FUN, STORIES, CONTESTS & GIVEAWAYS!

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Dear Reader

T

his is the month we celebrate dads. And in this issue, we pay particular attention to helping fathers Sharon Gowan bond with their Publisher/Editor girls.

Sometimes Sharon@family-life.us that looks like Dad and his little lady going on an adventure without Mom. Read “Dads & Daughters” (page 14) for 24 places the daring duo can hang out and connect.

(Psst: They’re great spots for the whole family.) Then turn to our Calendar of Events (page 26) for local Father’s Day activities—and ways to have fun all month long!

Perhaps your family is planning to travel over Father’s Day weekend, or sometime this summer. Did you know that there are apps that can get you

deals on gas, rental cars, and hotel rooms? Check out “Money-Saving Vacay Apps” (page 12) and see how much cash you can keep in your pocket.

For kids, summer is all about having a blast, of course. And, as their parent, you want them to have a good time.

But you also don’t want them to forget everything they’ve learned during the school year. Veteran mom Christina Katz says you can keep your kids both entertained and intellectually engaged.

See her “Avoid the Summer Slide” (page 10) to find out how.

We hope your June is full of warm-weather wonders and lots of laughter—for Dad and everyone!

Marketing/ Sales/Events Patricia Ramos 707-205-1539 patty@family-life.us

Features Editor Melissa Chianta melissa@family-life.us

Production Manager Donna Bogener production@family-life.us

Contributing Writers America’s Test Kitchen Ann Gadd Jessica Guerrieri Tanni Haas Ned Johnson Christina Katz Pam Moore William Stixrud

Billing Jan Wasson-Smith

Cultivate a brighter outlook through habits of gratitude with the Give Thanks Challenge.

Publishing Office P.O. Box 351 Philo, CA 95466 (707) 205 1539

JOIN THE CHALLENGE >> APRIL 1- JUNE 30 Track your progress for 21 days by answering the daily question and improve not only your sense of gratitude, but your overall wellbeing.

1. Register or log in at bzpmendocinocounty.sharecare.com 2. Find the Challenges under the Achieve 3. Join an Active or Upcoming Blue Zones Project challenge

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June 2022

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Cooking with Kids

Balls of Energy Kids Can Make This Easy Snack

By America’s Test Kitchen

T

hese sweet, crunchy, chewy bites are perfect for a quick snack on-the-go. They pack a lot of power into a tiny package: The nuts and nut butter provide protein and fat, the dried fruit adds some sugar, and the oats bring complex carbohydrates.

The sugar gives you a fast-acting (but short-lived) energy boost, while the complex carbs, protein, and fat help keep you feeling full for longer.

Up Your Game

You can customize your energy bites by swapping in your favorite nuts and dried fruit. Try chopped pistachios, cashews, almonds, or walnuts in place of the pecans. Dried cranberries, dried blueberries, or raisins can be substituted for the dried cherries. You can also use white chocolate chips instead of semisweet. ¶ Reprinted, with permission, from the Complete Cookbook for Teen Chefs by America’s Test Kitchen (Penguin Random House, 2022), americastestkitchen.com.

www.mendolakefamilylife.com

Chocolate-Cherry Energy Bites Before you begin: You can add 1 tablespoon of chia seeds or ground flaxseeds to the oat mixture in step 1, if desired.

Prepare Ingredients 3/4 cup (2 ¼ ounces) old-fashioned rolled oats 1/3 cup (2 ounces) semisweet chocolate chips

Start Cooking!

1. Add all ingredients to large bowl.

Use rubber spatula to stir until well combined.

2. Use your wet hands to roll mixture into 16 balls (about 1 tablespoon each). Place balls on large plate and cover with plastic wrap.

1/3 cup creamy peanut, almond, or sunflower butter

3. Place in refrigerator and chill until bites are firm, at least 30 minutes or up to 3 days. Serve.

(Bites can be refrigerated in airtight container for up to 3 days.)

2 tablespoons honey

Makes 16 bites

1/3 cup pecans, chopped 1/3 cup dried cherries, chopped

1/8 teaspoon salt

June 2022

MendoLakeFamilyLife 7

Bits & Pieces Flynn Creek Circus

Bending Time

W

hat would it be like if we saw other people act out our memories? In its latest show, Balloons, Birds, and Other Flying Things, the Flynn Creek Circus will be answering that question as troupe performers use acrobatics, stunts, and comedy to animate audience members’ memories. Memory vignettes will be woven together in a story that comments on the illusive nature of time. The show will be held July 1–4 under the big top in Friendship Park in Mendocino. Shows are at 7 p.m. on July 1; 4 p.m. on July 2 with a 21-and-older show at 8 p.m.; 1 p.m. and 4 p.m. on July 3, with a 21-and-older show at 8 p.m.; and 2 p.m. on July 4. Tickets are sold in groups, by bench or table, and are $81–$416 per set. Find out more and purchase tickets at flynncreekcircus.com. ¶

A Picnic with Swings

T

here’s a new playground in town. And the Lakeport Lions Club is hosting a community picnic to celebrate it.

The Lakeport Lions Legacy Playground Dedication will be held at the Westside Community Park in Lakeport on June 11, 10 a.m.–2 p.m. The park committee will unveil a plaque that honors the park’s founder, Charlie Jolin, after which Lions Club members will offer food and beverages as well as games, including a bounce house. It’s all free. Go to westsidecommunitypark.org for more information. ¶

Pigs, Sheep, and Goats, Oh My!

A

crazy quilt is made up of mismatched pieces that create a singular work of art.

And that is just how Liam Jackson-Wyatt and Lyle Coburn, owners of Crazy Quilt Farm, see their homestead: “We’re a bunch of people who don’t match, but together we make something beautiful.” The pair will be hosting a Family Day so kids can meet some of the animal members of their farm family, including goats, pigs, sheep, chicken, ducks, and a miniature horse—all of which will be in the brand-new petting zoo. Besides critters, there will be games, and vendors selling candy, art, greeting cards, and more. And the farm store will offer sack lunches and iced drinks, so families can enjoy lunch outside. The event will be held on June 11, 9 a.m.–2 p.m., at the Crazy Quilt Farm on Highway 20 in Upper Lake. Admission is free; the petting zoo is $5 per person. For details, go to crazyquiltfarm. com or see tinyurl.com/cp2kcmtu. ¶ 8 MendoLakeFamilyLife

Lyle Coburn (left) and Liam Jackson-Wyatt (right) with sons Alex and Connor

Crazy Quilt Farm

June 2022

www.mendolakefamilylife.com

A Taste of Purple

W

ith their spiky, pincushion appearance, purple sea urchins may look cool, but they are a big problem. The invasive species are devouring kelp forests, which would otherwise be home to a wide range of marine life. In an effort to educate the public about urchins and give them a chance to taste the little creatures, the Noyo Center for Marine Science and the Mendocino Area Parks Association are hosting the Mendocino Coast Purple Urchin Festival—the first such festival in the United States. The event will include urchin cracking and preparation demos, a five-course purple-urchin tasting, a sake seminar, and a concert with musicians Cheryl Wheeler and Kenny White. The festival will be held June 17–19 in various venues; for more information and admission fees, go to urchinfest.com. ¶

Beat Frequency

Nature Joe loves introducing kids to snakes.

Critters for Kids

E

ver since he was a kid, Joe Duckett, aka Nature Joe, has loved animals. Whenever he discovered a new creature, he would spend hours in the library finding out whatever he could about it. When he was old enough to become a camp counselor, he discovered that he could be an animal educator. And ever since, he has been introducing his Critter Cart full of snakes, parrots, tortoises, tarantulas, and other animals to kids at schools, libraries, and other facilities.

His aim is to teach kids how to respect and care for pets and wildlife, and hopefully help them develop some empathy for animals along the way. “People don’t know how to interact with animals; either they’re terrified of them or take them for granted. I basically teach that animals are cool and we should be nice to them,” he says.

Feel the Beat

L

ead singers for the band Beat Frequency, Natasha Neuschwander and Shawn Lewis love to belt out high-energy dance music. And their soaring voices have taken the Washington-based wife-husband duo to some big stages, including stints on The Voice (season 3) and X-Factor (season 1). On June 24 they will be visiting Library Park in Lakeport, giving a free concert 6:30–8:30 p.m. Find out more about them at beatfrequencymusic.com. ¶ www.mendolakefamilylife.com

June 2022

In June, he’ll be bringing his entourage of two-, four-, and eight-leggeds to Mendocino County libraries. The schedule is as follows: Fort Bragg Library: June 24, 11 a.m.; Willits Library: June 24, 3 p.m.; Round Valley Library: June 25, 11 a.m.; and Ukiah Library: June 25, 3 p.m. All programs are free.

Find out more about Nature Joe at naturejoes.org and about Mendocino County library events at mendolibrary.org. ¶

MendoLakeFamilyLife 9

would cost for the family to spend one week there, including airfare, transportation, meals, hotels, and everything else. Have them present their proposed vacations to the whole family, showing the math writ large on poster board. Who knows, they just might talk you into a trip you hadn’t thought of yourself.

Avoid the Summer Slide 12 Boredom Busters for All Ages

By Christina Katz

T

his summer set the tone that a little learning is an important part of each day. Here is a roundup of 12 ways to keep your kids’ minds active.

1. Sign up for your library summer reading program. Set a minimum reading time each day of 30–60 minutes. Or break reading time into two 30-minute chunks— one for a parent-approved book and the other for whatever your child chooses to read.

2. Plant a garden together.

Consult illustrated gardening books by Sharon Lovejoy, and then think about what your family likes to eat and plant accordingly. If your family loves pizza, plant a pizza garden. If fresh salsa is your thing, plant a salsa garden.

10 MendoLakeFamilyLife

3. Visit local nature centers, Audubon societies, and nearby gardens. Make a list and plan to hit all the regional natural destinations, such as the Mendocino Botanical Gardens in Fort Bragg and the Environmental Discovery Center in Spring Lake Park in Santa Rosa. Then plan a weekly outing and bring along a picnic. On the way home, use a game of “I Spied” (instead of “I Spy”) to review what you have seen and learned.

4. Research a future vacation.

Let each child pick their own destination and figure out what it June 2022

Why not sell old toys, baked goods, or artwork as a lesson in entrepreneurism?

5. Have a word of the day. Put the word in large letters at the top of a page with the definition just below. Hang the word on the fridge and make a game out of using it in sentences all day long.

6. Keep a “How I Spent My Summer Scrapbook.” Choose a blank-page, over-sized book with ample pages for writing, collaging, collecting, and embellishing. Set aside time to work on “summer books” for a half hour every day at whatever time of day works best. Let kids decide whether or not to keep it private or share the results with the family.

7. Sign up for BrainPop. This educational website has more than 1,000 short animated movies for kids ages 6–17, making it the perfect substitute teacher for your kids.

Best of all, they can pursue topics that interest them. Check with your child’s school library to see if they have free access to BrainPop Jr. for K–third grade. Otherwise a subscription is money well spent on entertaining enrichment. www.mendolakefamilylife.com

8. Visit friends and family around the world. Start with a list of friends and family you know all over the globe. Then once a week, choose a destination and take an hour to really explore it via Google Earth and by researching online information. Expand your geographic horizons further by video-calling your friends or family and informally interviewing them about the area where they live. Post a map on the wall and stick a tack in each location you virtually visit.

9. Think beyond the lemonade stand. Terrific lessons about business, sales, and marketing will be learned when you create your child’s version of the lemonade stand. Why not sell old toys, baked

goods, or artwork as a lesson in entrepreneurism?

10. Commit to a cause. If your child loves animals, see if you can spend some time volunteering at a local animal shelter. If she or he is

If your family loves pizza, plant a pizza garden. a regular fashionista, why not throw a trashion show to raise money for a local charity? Even a trip to your local food bank or letting your kids come with you while you give blood is a life lesson that keeps on giving.

11. Share your childhood favorites. Did you love to make friendship bracelets or collect

comic books? Did your husband learn to play guitar or practice scouting skills in the backyard?

Summer is the perfect time to share your favorite hobbies and summer pastimes with your kids.

12. Admire intelligence. Find healthy and smart virtual role models for your tween or teen to study. For example, if your young lady loves entropy and dissecting frogs, she might enjoy trying some home experiments created by Bill Nye, the Science Guy. Learn more at billnye.com/home-demos. Make a list of virtual summer tutors for each child and indulge in customized summer learning. ¶ Christina Katz is a mom and freelance writer at christinakatz.com.

YOU DO WHAT IT TAKES TO PROTECT YOUR CHILD

ALL IT TAKES IS ONE WELL-CHILD EXAM TO BE THEIR HERO Doctors can find health issues early and take care of them before it’s serious. Make an appointment before school starts. Call your doctor or find a local health center today! findahealthcenter.hrsa.gov

www.mendolakefamilylife.com

READ TOGETHER THIS SUMMER! UKIAH UNIFIED SCHOOL DISTRICT

511 S. ORCHARD AVE., UKIAH • 707-472-5000

June 2022

MendoLakeFamilyLife 11

The cost can be up to 75 percent less than if you’d reserved a regular hotel room for the night. The app is available in Asia, Europe, and North America.

Money-Saving Vacay Apps Keep Cash in Your Pocket

By Tanni Haas

T

raveling in the summer can be very expensive, especially if you have a large family. Thankfully, there are many apps that can save you tons of money, whether you’re planning a fancy vacation abroad or a more modest road trip. Most people know about apps for Airbnb, TripAdvisor, and Uber. But there are many other great travel apps. Here’s a list of some of the very best ones.

They are all free, so download them before your next trip.

BestParking Apple App Store & Google Play. Road trips can be great fun but not when you can’t find a convenient and inexpensive place to park the car. BestParking helps you find the right spot wherever you travel throughout North America. Indicate where you’d like to park and for how long, and the app generates a list of available spots and rates for the 12 MendoLakeFamilyLife

nearest lots and garages. You can search by address, landmarks or sites, or by neighborhood.

Dayuse Apple App Store & Google Play. Sometimes after a long flight or day in the car you need a place to rest or regroup for a few hours. When that happens, Dayuse comes in handy.

This app lets you search, book, and pay for hotel rooms for short stays.

June 2022

GasBuddy Apple App Store & Google Play On a road trip, you don’t just need convenient and inexpensive places to park the car, but you also need lots of gas. GasBuddy helps you find the cheapest gas at the nearest station.

Much like Airbnb for accommodations, Turo is a peer-to-peer car rental app.

Rome2rio Apple App Store & Google Play.

Whether you’re planning a domestic trip or a vacation abroad, there will be times when you can get to your destination in different ways. Rome2rio lets you compare different modes of transportation (bus, car, ferry, flight, train) and find the fastest and most inexpensive solution. All you have to do is to enter your location and ultimate destination, and the app will generate and compare all travel options. This app is available worldwide.

Transit Apple App Store & Google Play. If you want to save even more money on transportation costs, consider using public transportation whenever possible. For that, download Transit. This app saves you both money and time by letting www.mendolakefamilylife.com

Celebrating you pull together departure times for all nearby buses and trains so you don’t have to look through individual schedules one at a time.

Enter your desired destination, and the app displays all public transportation options as well as fares.

GasBuddy helps you find the cheapest gas at the nearest station.

Turo Apple App Store & Google Play. If you need a car but don’t feel like renting one from one of the many, well-known car rental companies, consider getting one from Turo. Much like Airbnb for accommodations, this is a peer-to-peer car rental app, which lets you rent cars directly from other car owners. You can expect to pay about 35 percent less than if you rented a car from a commercial rental company. The app is available in Europe and North America.

WiFi Finder Apple App Store & Google Play.

Whether you’re traveling at home or abroad, using your cell phone when Wi-Fi isn’t available can be very expensive, with high roaming charges. Get Wi-Fi Finder.

Even if you’re not being charged extra for roaming on your phone, this app comes in handy—it helps you find places where you can use your tablet or laptop computer free of charge. ¶ Tanni Haas, PhD, is a college communications professor.

www.mendolakefamilylife.com

#1 resource for local families magazine • web • email • events

2022

YEARS Passes ggoood June 1 th thrru Aug. 31, 2022

SUMMER

YOUTH PASS

$45 ALL SUMMER COUNTY-WIDE Unlimited rides on all MTA buses for children up to age 18. $5.00 and a Youth Summer Pass will get you to and from Santa Rosa on MTA’s North Coast and South Coast Buses!

For more information: www.mendocinotransit.org or call 800-696-4MTA / 462-1422 Buy your Summer Youth Pass on board any MTA bus or at the MTA office in Ukiah or Fort Bragg. This pass not valid on Dial-A-Ride.

wheel deal!

June 2022

MendoLakeFamilyLife 13

6. Tourist traps. Is there a famous something-or-other shop nearby that they’ll love? Succumb to the hype.

7. High-wire acts. Zip lines, air-trams, and skyscrapers— anything with a view, just for the thrill of it.

8. Arcade outings.

Zing-bang-pop! Make those tokens last, so you can play for hours and combine your prize tickets.

Dads & Daughters 24 Places to Bond & Have a Great Time

By Christina Katz

J

ust as moms and daughters can bond by spending special time together, dads and daughters need quality time, too. I have learned that making memories with her dad is just as important for my

daughter as making memories with me or with the entire family.

Download the Geocaching app at geocaching.com, and off to hunt you go.

9. Miniature golfing. Try a new course within a 30-mile radius every time you go.

10. Historical landmarks. Take indoor or outdoor tours. Try to learn little-known facts.

11. Day hikes. Wear two pairs of socks and sturdy shoes. Bring Band-Aids, trail mix, and water.

12. Bike rides. They can both ride. Or if dad runs, make it a run/ ride combo.

So the next time your husband and daughter are due for some quality time together, pull up this list of delightful destinations, choose one or two, and shoo them out the door.

They’ll come home worn-out, happy, and more bonded, and these are gifts that last them both a lifetime.

3. Visits to the San Francisco Zoo. Besides animals, there are rides, too. See sfzoo.org/rides-more.

1. Breakfasts out. Test-drive joints until they discover their faves.

4. Bowling dates. Who can win the best of five?

15. All-you-can-eat buffets.

Go hungry and then pace yourselves once you get there.

2. Trips to San Francisco.

Take the bus, the train, and/or the ferry. Then walk everywhere else.

5. Amusement park romps.

Spin around first; eat cotton candy after.

16. Waterslides or waterparks.

Bathing suit up and scream all the way down.

14 MendoLakeFamilyLife

Zip lines, air-trams, and skyscrapers—anything with a view.

June 2022

13. Out to ball games. Baseball, basketball, football—she’ll love a game at the stadium.

14. Hit concerts. Pack a picnic for the outdoors or earplugs for the rock-and-roll.

www.mendolakefamilylife.com

17. Horse or racecar tracks.

Decide how much you will each bet and stick to it.

18. Short road trips. Pick nearby towns you’ve never been to, jump in the car, and go.

19. Go fishin’. Dad can hook the worms if she doesn’t want to, but she just might surprise you.

20. Geocaching. Download the official Geocaching app at geocaching.com, and off to hunt you go.

21. Grab a matinée. Ticket prices are cheaper so splurge for popcorn, candy, and a drink.

22. Roller- or ice-skating. Check out open skate times and party themes like neon or disco skates.

23. Attend local festivals.

Arts, collectibles, rocks, literary— whatever she’s into!

Baseball, basketball, football—she’ll love a game at the stadium.

24. Go out for ice cream cones. Take walks along a local scenic path or visit a town park.

Shhh! Don’t tell them you didn’t want to go. I’ve got a little secret when it comes to daddy-daughter dates: I often encourage my husband to take our daughter to places I would rather not go. You know what

I mean—those noisy, crowded, high-up-in-the-air places you may not always be all that crazy about either.

The fact is, great daddy-daughter date destinations are often raucous, dusty, or sweaty places moms might rather avoid. As for when they choose places I enjoy visiting, that’s okay. I can take a pass. I’m perfectly happy staying behind so my husband and daughter can have some adventures together that are just about the two of them. ¶ Author, journalist, and writing coach Christina Katz tries not to dance a jig after her husband and daughter leave for some together time, but she usually just can’t stop herself.

Download our mobile app

1090 S. State St., Ukiah 707-621-9292 www.mendolakefamilylife.com

898 S. Main St., Fort Bragg 707-964-9999 June 2022

3144 Broadway St., Eureka 707-268-1100 MendoLakeFamilyLife 15

3. Wear light-colored clothing. Light colors make ticks easier to spot, especially tiny deer tick nymphs.

4. Don’t forget to tuck pants inside socks. This creates a protective barrier so ticks cannot easily access the legs.

Stop That Tick!

Steps to Protect Campers

W

e love to have fun in the sun in the summertime, but remember, ticks are lurking so it is best to take a proactive approach to tick protection. Remind kids about tick safety and remember to check them when they return home after enjoying time outside.

In wooded areas, brush, and high grass, ticks wait with their arms extended for their next host. This position is called “questing.” They do not jump or fly; rather, they wait for warm-blooded animals or people they detect by body odor, breath, heat, moisture, and vibrations. Some ticks attach to their host quickly, while others look for warm areas where the skin is thinner, warmer, or moist. Here are some quick tips for keeping your family safe from ticks.

Be Proactive 1. Use repellents that contain 20%–30% DEET (N, N-diethyl-m-toluamide) on exposed skin and clothing for protection that

16 MendoLakeFamilyLife

Wear light-colored clothing. lasts up to several hours. Always follow product instructions. Do not put on a child’s face or hands. For more information about using DEET with kids, see kidshealth.org/en/ parents/repellent.html. For natural alternatives to DEET, see tinyurl.com/ nw4y9m53.

2. Use products that contain permethrin on clothing (not on skin). Treat clothing and gear, such as boots, pants, socks, and tents, with products containing 0.5% permethrin.

It remains protective through several washings.

June 2022

5. Stay on the path and in sunny areas.

Ticks can’t fly or jump, so you have to enter where they like to live, shady areas with low plants, woods, leaves, and shrubs. Picnic in open sunny places.

If You Find an Attached Tick A tick has a two-pronged mouthpart with tiny backward-pointing barbs that it uses to secure itself to its host, and it uses salivary cement for attachment. To remove a tick, use narrow-tipped tweezers, such as a TickEase, and grasp it as close to the skin as possible; then slowly and steadily pull upward.

If the mouthparts remain in the skin, don’t worry, they will work themselves out eventually.

When You Get Home The family should bathe or shower and put their clothes in a dryer on high heat for 20 minutes to kill hitchhiking ticks as soon as possible (preferably within two hours). The shower will help you locate ticks that might be crawling on you or your kids, looking for a nice place to bite. Conduct a full-body tick check on all members of the family. Use a full-length mirror to view all parts of your body. Check for ticks under the arms, around the ears, inside the belly button, behind the knees, between the legs, around the waist, and especially in the hair. Don’t neglect crevices!

For more information, visit tickease.com.

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FL: What are the Enneagram personality types?

Nine Personality Enneagram Basics Types Explained

F

amily Life talked to Molly Owens, CEO and founder of Truity, a personality test site, about the Enneagram.

With a master’s degree in counseling, Owens, a former therapist, founded Truity in 2012 with the aim of making personality tests more accessible to individuals and businesses.

Family Life: What is the enneagram?

Molly Owens: The Enneagram is a personality system used in psychology, business, and self-help settings around the world. It describes how each of us, based on our individual traits and childhood experiences, fits into one of nine personality types. The goal of the Enneagram system is to help you better understand your core fears and motivations, so you can become a more fulfilled person. The Enneagram can help you discover the roots of who you are, and why you approach life the way you do.

18 MendoLakeFamilyLife

That knowledge can help light up your life decisions, career choices, and relationships in some dramatic ways. It can help us better understand ourselves, be more empathetic to others, and find our distinct paths to personal happiness and growth. What I love about the Enneagram is how it celebrates the unique potential in all of us. Since each type has special gifts and talents, the goal is not to mimic someone else, or to be something you’re not; the goal is to truly understand who you are, and become the best version of your true self.

June 2022

MO: The Enneagram ascribes your personality to one of nine unique types. Each type has its own set of core motivations and fears that influence one’s approach to life— everything from how you feel about relationships, to what careers inspire you, to what triggers stress and conflict. For example, Enneagram Type Threes—The Achiever—are motivated by status; they fear failure, which tends to make them ambitious and also conscious of their public image. Whereas Enneagram Type Sixes are motivated [by their need for] security and safety. You can read more about each type on Truity’s resource pages: truity.com/ enneagram/9-types-enneagram.

FL: What are the basic characteristics of each type?

MO: There is a lot of nuance in all the types, so I’d encourage people to dive deeper on Truity’s resource pages, but here is a quick summary: Type One—The Perfectionist: Ones place a lot of emphasis on following the rules and doing things correctly. Type Ones fear being imperfect and can be extremely strict with themselves and others.

Type Two—The Giver: Twos want to be liked and find ways that they can be helpful to others so that they belong.

This type fears being unlovable.

Type Three—The Achiever: Threes want to be successful and admired by other people, and are very conscious of their public image. Type Threes fear failure and not being seen as valuable by other people. www.mendolakefamilylife.com

Type Four—The Individualist: Fours want to be unique and to experience deep, authentic emotions.

Type Fours fear they are flawed and are overly focused on how they are different from other people.

Type Five—The Investigator: Fives seek understanding and knowledge, and are more comfortable with data than other people. The biggest fear of the Type Five is being overwhelmed by their own needs or the needs of other people.

Type Six—The Skeptic: Sixes are preoccupied with security, seek safety, and like to be prepared for problems.

For the Type Six, the greatest fear is being unprepared and unable to defend themselves from danger.

Type Seven—The Enthusiast: Sevens want to have as much fun and adventure as possible and are easily bored. Type Sevens fear experiencing emotional pain, especially sadness, and actively seek to avoid it by staying busy.

What I love about the Enneagram is how it celebrates the unique potential in all of us.

Type Eight—The Challenger: Eights see themselves as strong and powerful and seek to stand up for what they believe in. The greatest fear of the Type Eight is to be powerless, so they focus on controlling their environment.

Type Nine—The Peacemaker: Nines like to go with the flow and let the people around them set the agenda.

Type Nines fear pushing people away by prioritizing their own needs, and they tend to be passive.

FL: Where can readers find out more about the enneagram, including what their type is?

MO: You can take Truity’s free Enneagram test (the number one test in the United States) here: truity.com/ test/enneagram-personality-test. It takes about ten minutes to complete.

Your basic results are free, but if you upgrade to our full 18-page in-depth report, you will get much deeper insights into your type at home, work, and in relationships. ¶

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June 2022

MendoLakeFamilyLife 19

Enneagram for Kids A Pint-Sized Path for Understanding Personality

By Ann Gadd

T

he Enneagram of Personality consists of nine main personality types with many potential nuances. I believe there is value in helping children explore the differences in the Enneagram types. When this information is presented at their level of comprehension, children are able to develop an appreciation not only for their own gifts, but also for the contributions of the people in their lives.

To help parents introduce these ideas to their children, I created a series of fun illustrated Enneagram books that help children understand that being different doesn’t mean being wrong, and that there is room for all types in the world. The books present simple but insightful examinations of each of the Enneagram types and their unique path to emotional and mental health.

20 MendoLakeFamilyLife

Percy Perfect—The Enneagram Type One for Kids Percy Perfect wants his house to stay perfectly neat and tidy, but his messy friends have other ideas. Is it worth being perfect if you miss all the fun?

Hazel Helper—The Enneagram Type Two for Kids Hazel Helper is always busy helping everyone else—but one day she realizes that she needs June 2022

help too! Hazel learns not just to nurture and be kind to others, but to be kind to herself.

Sally Star—The Enneagram Type Three for Kids Sally Star loves to be the best at everything. But what happens when the other kids also start excelling? Sally learns that sometimes being kind makes you the real winner.

Arthur Artsy—The Enneagram Type Four for Kids Arthur Artsy is original and creative, but he often feels sad and misunderstood. Arthur discovers that he doesn’t need to try to be special and unique—like all of us, he already is!

Sebastian Study—The Enneagram Type Five for Kids Sebastian Study just loves learning new things, but his friends sometimes get in the way. If he stays in his room, he can do his own thing…but is he missing some fun in the park?

Katy Cautious—The Enneagram Type Six for Kids Katy Cautious is a loyal, responsible friend, but sometimes her fear stops her from having a good time. Katy learns to find the courage to act despite her fear. www.mendolakefamilylife.com

Felix Fun—The Enneagram Type Seven for Kids Felix Fun loves having adventures and is always busy planning the next one.

One day Felix gets sick and has to stay in bed—boring! It’s a visit from his friends that makes him feel better.

Arthur Artsy is original and creative.

Celebrating YEARS

Ben Boss—The Enneagram Type Eight for Kids Ben Boss is always in charge in the playground, but when he can’t catch the ball, he starts to cry! His friends already know how brave Ben is—but it takes true strength to also be gentle.

Posie Peace—The Enneagram Type Nine for Kids Posie Peace doesn’t like to speak out or make a fuss. But when all her friends start fighting, it’s up to her to find her voice and create peace and harmony between the others. ¶ Excerpted from Better Parenting with the Enneagram by Ann Gadd © 2022 Findhorn Press. Printed with permission from the publisher Inner Traditions International: innertraditions.com.

Ann Gadd is a fully accredited Enneagram practitioner (iEQ9 certified), presenter, and professional member of the International Enneagram Association (IEA), holistic therapist, artist, workshop facilitator, and journalist. She is the author of 35 books, including Sex and the Enneagram and an Enneagram kids’ series of books. Ann lives in Cape Town, South Africa.

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MendoLakeFamilyLife 21

What’s Social Emotional Learning?

Schools & Parents Help Kids Regulate Feelings

By Pam Moore “More Goldfish!” my five-year-old demands.

I summon all my patience. “Can you try that again?”

“I’m hungry!”

I take a long blink. “Honey? Can you—” Her face is still beet red, but her body has relaxed. She takes a deep breath, and then slowly blows the air through her pursed lips. This is the “birthday cake” breathing she learned in kindergarten.

“Mom, can I please have more Goldfish?”

My daughter attends a public school where her teacher is one of a handful of educators integrating social and emotional learning (SEL) into the classroom.

22 MendoLakeFamilyLife

According to the Collaborative for Academic, Social and Emotional Learning, SEL is “the process through which children and adults acquire and effectively apply the knowledge, attitudes, and skills necessary to understand and manage emotions, set and achieve positive goals, feel and show empathy for others, establish and maintain positive relationships, and make responsible decisions.” SEL is based on five core competencies: self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, relationship skills, and responsible decision-making.

With a growing body of research supporting SEL as a driver of academic performance, emotional well-being, and positive school culture, its rising popularity is not surprising.

June 2022

A 2011 meta-analysis showed students who participated in school-based SEL demonstrated significant improvements in social and emotional skills and behaviors and an 11 percentile increase in academic performance. A 2017 study showed that in addition to increased academic performance, children who engaged in school-based SEL showed higher graduation rates and safer sexual behavior, even 18 years post-intervention.

As a parent, I see the benefits of SEL daily.

While school districts are starting to adopt SEL, it’s not the norm. If your child’s school has yet to embrace it, Jennifer Miller, SEL expert, offers tips for parents.

Create a Plan Miller recommends creating a Family Emotional Safety Plan, so when emotional disaster strikes, you’re ready. It can be as simple as “When mom is angry, she’ll say ‘I need five minutes’ and then she’ll go in her room and shut the door while she cools down.” Explaining the plan in advance precludes your child from anxiously wondering, “‘Why is she leaving me?,’ compounding [their] upset with fear,” says Miller.

Make a Pledge While family arguments are natural, they’re not always healthy. According to Miller, data support specific types of fighting. While particular words, attitudes, and actions can leave emotional scars, others strengthen relationships. Miller’s Fighting Fair Family Pledge sets boundaries on language and actions to avoid (e.g. www.mendolakefamilylife.com

criticizing, blaming, name-calling), while offering effective alternatives (like taking responsibility and focusing on solutions).

Use Challenges as Learning Opportunities Miller says when faced with parenting challenges, it’s crucial to ask, “What skill does my child need to learn?” While being clear about what behaviors are unacceptable, we must teach our kids how to engage in the practices we do want to see. For example, if your child continually takes her younger sister’s doll, instead of repeatedly telling her not to, Miller encourages parents to use this situation as a teachable moment. “You might say, ‘You really want to play with your sister’s doll.

Let’s see if there are ways we can play that keep everyone happy and also give you a chance with the doll.

Hmmm, what could we do?!’ Get your child involved.” You can also have your child teach the behavior to a toy to make the lesson more fun.

Create a Family Emotional Safety Plan.

As a parent, I see the benefits of SEL daily. I see it when my daughter chooses deep breaths over screaming when I brush her hair, when she asks her little sister to take turns, and when she tells herself, “I can do it” before attempting the monkey bars. I see it when she says, “Oops. Mistake. I’ll take a deep breath and try again.”

In my daughter’s class, SEL isn’t a separate lesson. Her teacher, Donna Young, infuses it into the classroom culture. Young crouches to make

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SEL skills aren’t just beneficial for kids. Young wishes she knew about SEL when her kids were growing up. “If I had had the knowledge and self-awareness that I have now, I would have parented in a different way. I believe I would have had more compassion for myself and my mistakes as a parent of young children.” ¶

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eye contact while greeting each child by name. Throughout the day, the class does calming breathing exercises together. Young strives to model self-regulation. When she falls short, she tells her students what she was feeling, what she did, and what she’ll do differently next time. “This just reinforces that everyone makes mistakes…and it’s okay.”

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June 2022

MendoLakeFamilyLife 23

back the layers to investigate what might be going on with them.

Communicate with Kids Learn How to Listen and What to Say

By William Stixrud and Ned Johnson

D

ealing with kids’ emotions in a productive way involves a four-step process, and the first two steps happen before you say a single word.

1. Stay calm and think of your kids’ strong emotions as a great opportunity to connect.

2. Understand and accept rather than judge; be curious rather than accusatory.

3. Reflect and validate their feelings.

4. Explore—ask follow-up questions.

Step 1: Stay Calm and Think of Your Kids’ Strong Emotions as a Great Opportunity to Connect. Consider the bonds that develop when people share stressful experiences. It’s not like we expect you to jump for joy when your kid’s having a meltdown, is grumpy, or is having a hard time in his life. But when you stay calm and reframe big feelings as 24 MendoLakeFamilyLife

an opportunity, it’s easier to exercise patience and compassion. Meet their intensity with your presence, and don’t get upset yourself.

Step 2: Understand and Accept Rather than Judge; Be Curious Rather than Accusatory. When your kid’s upset, you inevitably have subtitles running through your head telling you to use the opportunity as a teaching moment. It’s hard, but turn these subtitles off. Take the generous position that even though your child is in distress, this distress represents their best effort right now—and that’s okay. Every misstep doesn’t have to be a teaching moment. From this position of grace, you can get curious rather than accusatory and then peel June 2022

Step 3: Reflect and Validate Their Feelings. Reflective listening developed out of the work of Carl Rogers, one of the most influential psychologists of the 20th century. His person-centered approach to psychotherapy emphasizes the importance of listening closely to deeply understand a client’s experience—and then reflecting back that understanding.

Careful listening helps kids feel

Every misstep doesn’t have to be a teaching moment. heard, and several experts have pointed out that kids listen better after they are heard.1 Also, when they feel understood—and, importantly, accepted—by their parents, it helps kids see their parents as the safe base they can come to, rather than run from, at times of stress.

Language that communicates careful listening when kids have strong emotions is similar to paraphrasing— but in a way that signals we are trying to understand their feelings.

Psychologist and communication expert Eran Magen uses the helpful acronym WIG (“What I Got”—from what you said) to describe this kind of listening. Some examples of “WIG-ing”: • “What I got from what you said is that you feel like Erin betrayed you.”

• “Am I getting this right—that the way she said it made you feel like she was trying to embarrass you?” www.mendolakefamilylife.com

• “Let me see if I’m understanding.

Other kids were doing it, too, and you feel like your teachers singled you out and that it’s not fair.”

a kid says “yeah” or “exactly” in response to our WIG. 3

• “It sounds like you were really scared when I was late to pick you up.”

• “You seem to be pretty mad about this.”

One useful tip for asking questions: rather than ask a child why he is upset about something, ask, “How does that upset you?” For many kids, this phrasing sounds less challenging or accusatory than asking why.2 Through reflective listening, we can help kids see that we’re trying to understand what they’re going through.

Magen says we win relationship “points” and make a deposit in a relational bank account every time

Language that expresses validation is similar—but adds the message that I can see why you feel like that—you’re feeling is normal.4 Validating language shows a kid that he’s not wrong to have his feelings, and that he is accepted and loved unconditionally.

Some examples: • “That must have been hard for you.”

• “I think I know how you feel.”

• “I think most people would be upset by that.”

• “I get scared sometimes, too.”

For instructions on Step 4, see our book What Do You Say? (Viking, 2021). ¶

Notes 1. See Karyn Hall and Melissa Cook’s book The Power of Validation (Oakland, CA: New Harbinger, 2012).

2. This comes from Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), a set of communication tools described in a book

by Richard Bandler and John Grinder called Reframing: Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the Transformation of Meaning (Moab, UT: Real People Press, 1982).

3. Eran Magen, personal communication.

4. See Hall and Cook, The Power of Validation.

Adapted, with permission, from What Do You Say?: How to Talk with Kids to Build Motivation, Stress Tolerance, and a Happy Home by William Stixrud, PhD, and Ned Johnson (Viking, 2021).

William Stixrud, PhD, is a clinical psychologist and a faculty member at Children’s National Medical Center and George Washington University School of Medicine. Ned Johnson is the founder of PrepMatters and the coauthor of Conquering the SAT: How Parents Can Help Teens Overcome the Pressure and Succeed.

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June 2022

MendoLakeFamilyLife 25

June

Calendar of Events

Horses and Hoopla!

S

ometimes a celebration is so successful it becomes a tradition. Started in 1926, Willits Frontier Days is one such event. It was originally conceived as a way to raise money to erect a hospital. Even after that need was fulfilled, the event was so popular it took on a life of its own. This year it will kick off its 96th year on June 17, 5–9 p.m., with a Hometown Celebration on Main Street in Willits. Then, a week later, on June 24, there will be truck and tractor pulls at 6 p.m. ($10–$20) followed by a free street dance. On July 3, the CCPRA rodeo ($10–$25) will start at 7 p.m., and will be followed by a free western dance. And on July 4, there will be an 11 a.m. parade down Main Street, a beef barbecue ($12–$20) at noon at Rec Grove Park, and another round of the rodeo ($10–$25) at 4 p.m. Rodeo and dance events will be held on the Rodeo Grounds in Willits. For a complete list of Frontier Days activities, which run June 17–July 4, go to willitsfrontierdays.com. ¶

Friday 3 Redwood Empire Spring Fair.

Free admission. Carnival wristband tickets: $30–$35. Redwood Empire Fairgrounds. 1055 N. State St., Ukiah. redwoodempirefair.com.

Redwood Empire Spring Fair Monster Trucks. June 3 & 4: Monster

Trucks & Mudd Boggs, 6 p.m. June 5: Jalopies & Junior Mudd Boggs, 6

p.m. Live Music: 6–10 p.m. all three days. $18–$25. Redwood Empire Fairgrounds. 1055 N. State St., Ukiah.

Schedule: redwoodempirefair.com.

FREE The Stamp Collages.

Exhibition will showcase Bobbie Yokum’s collages, which are made entirely of postage stamps. Donations accepted. Fridays–Sundays. 11 a.m.–5 p.m. Show runs thru June 19. Willits

Center for the Arts. 71 E. Commercial St., Willits. willitscenterforthearts.org.

Friday Family Skate Night. $5

drop-in fee. Parent or guardian must sign for kids younger than 18.

Fridays. 7–9 p.m. Old Recreation Center. 213 E. Laurel St., Fort Bragg. kozt.com.

FREE Lakeport Mama Walk & Talk. One-hour weekly walk hosted

Healthy Kids Need Healthy Teeth.

Visit Your Dental Provider!

2 steps to a healthy smile!

Funded by the CDPH under Contract # 17-10704

26 MendoLakeFamilyLife

June 2022

www.mendolakefamilylife.com

by Mother-Wise. Open to all Lake County moms. Lakeport Walk: Fridays in June, 10 a.m. Mother-Wise Office. 180 N. Main St., Lakeport.

Cobb Mt. Walk: June 7, 1 p.m. Cobb Mt. 16295 Hwy. 175, Cobb. facebook. com/MotherWiseLakeCounty.

Saturday 4 Children’s Film: Iron Giant.

Screening of 1999 classic animated movie. Part of the Mendocino Film Festival. 10 a.m. Coast Cinemas.

135 S. Franklin St., Fort Bragg. mendocinofilmfestival.org.

FREE Shanél Valley Academy Grand Opening Ceremony. Grand Reopening of Hopland School. Event is free. BBQ lunch: $25. Benefits farm-to-school program. 10 a.m.–2 p.m. (lunch at noon). Shanél Valley Academy. 1 Ralph Bettcher Dr., Hopland. tinyurl.com/nhfvc3bu.

Hot Air Balloon Classic. Food

booths, coloring contest, craft booth, play area & more. Admission: $7–$15.

Ages 2 & younger: free. Tethered rides: additional $15. Parking: $10 (cash only). Thru June 5. 5–10:30 a.m. Glow Show: 5 a.m. Balloon launch: 6:30 a.m. Sonoma County Fairgrounds.

1350 Bennett Valley Rd., Santa Rosa. schabc.org.

Grand Opening Garden Party.

Games, activities & music. Optional: BYO plate/fork/cup & snacks to share. 2–5 p.m. South Lincoln Street Community Garden. 300 S. Lincoln St., Fort Bragg. tinyurl.com/2jt63rp6.

Hensley Creek Rd., Ukiah. tinyurl. com/2uc67rmf.

Sunday 5 Classical Kids Live! Gershwin’s Magic Key. American composer

George Gershwin & a newspaper boy meet by chance on the streets of New York City. The boy explores the vast melting pot of American music & unlocks his own musical potential. Performed by the Santa Rosa Symphony. $10–$20. ID & proof of COVID-19 vaccination or negative PCR test 72 hours prior required. 3 p.m. Green Music Center. 1801 E. Cotati Ave., Rohnert Park. Tickets: gmc.sonoma.edu/ gershwins-magic-key-2.

FREE First Fiddlers’ Jam. Members

of the Northern California Old Time

Fiddlers Group play. Noon–2 p.m. Ely Stage Stop & Country Museum. 9921 Soda Bay Rd. (Hwy. 128), Kelseyville. tinyurl.com/ydv6c4fk.

Festival Michoacano. A jaripeo/ Mexican rodeo with live music, dancing horses, bull riding & food. $50. Ages 10 & younger: free. 1–5 p.m. Lake County Fairgrounds. 401 Martin St., Lakeport. Tickets: tinyurl. com/2p8j2e6f.

Monday 6 FREE The Traveling Toy Library.

Families are able to check out toys & materials for children ages 0–5.

Sponsored by Easterseals Northern CA. Mondays: 1:30–3:30 p.m. 1173 11th St. (next to post office), Lakeport.

Wednesdays: 1:30–3:30 p.m. 14085-2 Lakeshore Dr. (next to WIC),

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Automotive Technology Club Car Show. Featuring the new BMW-M3 & BMW- ix. All vehicles invited.

Food & coffee for purchase. 9 a.m.–2 p.m. Mendocino College. 1000

www.mendolakefamilylife.com

1-800-606-5550 x211 ncoinc.org June 2022

MendoLakeFamilyLife 27

Clearlake. earlyinterventionreferrals@ esnorcal.org.

Friday 10 Love Letters. Chronicle

of a lifelong romance, by award-winning playwright A. J. Gurney. $15. June 10, 11, 17 & 18: 7:30 p.m. June 12 & 19: 2 p.m. Willits Community Theatre. 37 West Van Ln., Willits. willitstheatre.org.

Saturday 11 Saracina Sunset Cinema. Screening

of Luca (PG). Wine, popcorn, sweet treats available for purchase.

Admission: $10–$20. Bring blankets.

6 p.m. Saracina Vineyards. 11684 Hwy. 101, Hopland. saracina. com/#follow.

FREE Noyo Harbor Fish Market.

The fleet will be selling their catches off their boats. Live music, family activities, food trucks, art & crafts vendors. 10 a.m.–2 p.m. Noyo Harbor. 19101 S. Harbor Dr., Fort Bragg. noyoharbordistrict.org.

Caspar Forest Fest. Live music,

kids’ activities, guest speakers, food, dancing & ecologically minded workshops. $5–$20. (No one will be turned away.) Proceeds benefit the effort to save Jackson Demonstration Forest, sacred Pomo homelands.

Noon–7 p.m. Caspar Community Center. 15051 Caspar Rd., Box 84, Caspar. savejackson.org.

Annual Hike for Hospice. Help

raise money to fulfill the needs of Lake County residents. Hikers may choose trails that are 1 mile or 2, 3 or 4.5 miles long. Pledges for walkers appreciated. Registration fee: $10–$25. Free for hikers 28 MendoLakeFamilyLife

ages 12 & younger. 8–11 a.m.

Highland Springs Park. 3600 E. Highland Springs Rd., Lakeport.

Register to hike or make a pledge: lakecountyhospice.org.

Home Wine & Beer Makers Festival.

Tastings from Lake County’s wineries & breweries. Live music, food & art vendors. $30. Proceeds benefit Lake County Symphony.

Noon–5 p.m. Library Park. 225 Park St., Lakeport. Tickets: tinyurl.com/ yeymbdv8.

Nature Walk. Easy

stroll on well-groomed trails. 1.5–2 hours.

Clear Lake State Park. 5300 Soda Bay Rd., Lakeport. 707-279-2267.

FREE Anderson Marsh Nature Walk.

Leisurely paced, docent-led, 3-mile walk. Free parking. Meet Ranch House: 8:15 a.m. Walk begins: 8:30 a.m. Anderson Ranch Pkwy., Lower Lake. andersonmarsh.org.

FREE Family Fun Day at Crazy Quilt Farms. Grand

opening of the petting zoo ($5); games & music; sack lunch for purchase. 9 a.m.–2 p.m.

Crazy Quilt Farm. 1215 W. Hwy. 20, Upper Lake. tinyurl.com/yc482w9e.

FREE Lakeport Lions Legacy Playground Dedication. Free

food, bounce houses & giveaways. 10 a.m.–2 p.m. Westside Community Park. 1401 Charlie Jolin Way (formerly Westside Park Rd.), Lakeport. tinyurl.com/unzkmwma.

FREE Movies in the Park. Screening of Clifford the Big Red Dog. Blanket or low-back chairs & picnic.

Dusk (7:30 p.m.). Middletown Square Park. 21266 Calistoga Rd., Middletown. tinyurl.com/yc5pken5.

June 2022

Wednesday 15 FREE Wings of Hope Family Support. Fun & meaningful

activities for the whole family. Food & discussion about grief & healing. Held third Wednesday of each month. 5–7 p.m. Hospice Services Bereavement Center. 1862 Parallel Dr., Lakeport. tinyurl.com/ye8jb524. 707-263-6222, ext. 130.

Thursday 16 Skunk Train: Cinema in the Redwoods. Begins with a train ride

from Fort Bragg depot at 6:30 p.m.

Arrive at The Glen (new outdoor theater) for the screening of Mad Max. Ticket includes round-trip train ride, music, a drink token to be redeemed at the bar & a bucket of bottomless popcorn. $32–$75. 6:30–9:50 p.m.

Skunk Train Depot. 100 W. Laurel St., Fort Bragg. skunktrain.com/ cinema-in-the-redwoods.

Friday 17 FREE Family Fun Days: Agriculture Day. Farm-themed activities aimed at

ages 2–7. Includes a fine motor skill activity to teach young children about cattle & farms, a no-mess sensory art activity & a creative project. 11:30 a.m.–1 p.m. Courthouse Museum.

255 N. Main St., Lakeport. tinyurl. com/3ytyu63a.

FREE Hometown Celebration. 5–9

p.m. Main St., Willits. Schedule: willitsfrontierdays.com.

Mendocino Coast Purple Urchin Festival. Urchin cracking &

preparation demos, 5-course purple-urchin tasting, sake seminar & concert with musicians Cheryl

www.mendolakefamilylife.com

Wheeler & Kenny White. June 17–19. Various venues in Mendocino. urchinfest.com.

FREE Library Park Summer Concert Series. The Fargo Brothers will play rhythm & blues. Bring lawn chair or blanket. 6:30–8 p.m.

Library Park. 200 Park St., Lakeport. lakeportmainstreet.com.

Sunday 19 Beer, Wine & Swine Baconfest.

Vendors, bands & local breweries & wineries. Chef competition, food & craft vendors, kids’ activities & live music with Hot Roux. $35–$40. Food/ drinks can be purchased separately. 11 a.m.–4 p.m. Must enter/purchase ticket by 2 p.m. Main Street. Kelseyville. facebook.com/LakeCountyBaconfest.

Bacon, Boujee & Blues. Three bacon flights, Vivino glass & drink ticket. $75. 3–7 p.m. Rivino Winery. 4001 Rivino Ranch Rd., Ukiah. tinyurl. com/2p98t7rs.

Father’s Day at the Stock Farm.

Seasonal specials offered at this family-owned restaurant; outdoor patio seating available. Noon–8 p.m.

Campovida. 13601 Old River Rd., Hopland. Reservations required: stockfarmhopland.com.

FREE Reggae Music. Eli Mac, Santa

Cruda & DJ Smokin’ Joe perform.

6 p.m. Konocti Vista Casino Hotel Lawn. 2755 Mission Rancheria Rd., Lakeport. tinyurl.com/yc2hcn79.

Juneteenth Celebration. Live music

with Gloria Scott, Howard Dockins,

Lynn Bryant & Billy Johnson. $15.

Food & drinks for purchase. Fathers get first drink free with pic with kids, or kids in hand. 7–10 p.m. Middletown Art Center. 21456 State Hwy. 175, Middletown. middletownartcenter.org/ events.html.

FREE Sundays in the Park Music Series. June 19: Ozomatli with Funkacillin (Latin hip-hop). June 30: Arise Roots with Top Shelf (California reggae rock). Blanket or low-back chairs. Food/drinks for purchase or bring picnic. Sundays. 6 p.m. Todd Grove Park. 600 Live Oak Ave., Ukiah. cityofukiah.com/sundays-in-the-park.

Blue Wing Father’s Day Brunch.

Featuring live music by Indie Groove, the harmonic quartet of Tom Nixon,

PRESENTED BY

PRE-MOVIE ACTIVITIES AT 7 PM MOVIE AT DUSK

RECREATION DEPARTMENT

Planes: Fire & Rescue (G) June 24th Ukiah Airport

The Sandlot (PG) July 1st Anton Stadium

Space Jam (PG) July 29th Vinewood Park

Wall-E (G) August 12th Observatory Park

Spiderman: No Way Home (PG-13) July 15th Ukiah Valley Golf Course

Encanto (PG) August 26th Oak Manor Park

For more information, call (707) 463-6231 or visit www.cityofukiah.com/recreation www.mendolakefamilylife.com

June 2022

MendoLakeFamilyLife 29

Henry Bornstein, Dan Maes & Bill McDougall. Brunch starts at 10:30 a.m.

Music: 11:30 a.m.–2 p.m. Blue Wing Restaurant. 9520 Main St., Upper Lake. 707-275-2233.

Monday 20 Mystery Island Vacation Bible

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School. Bible, games & snacks. 3

years–grade 6. (Must be potty trained.)

June 20–24. 9–11:30 a.m. Clear Lake Baptist Church. 555 N. Forbes St., Lakeport. tinyurl.com/33vunmv7.

707-263-3256.

Friday 24 Skunk Train: Music in the Redwoods. Begins with a train ride from Fort Bragg depot at 6:30 p.m.

Arrive at The Glen (new outdoor theater) for a musical performance by the Jazz Dudes. Ticket includes round-trip train ride, music, a drink token to be redeemed at the bar & a bucket of bottomless popcorn. $32–$75. 6:30–9:30 p.m.

Skunk Train Depot. 100 W. Laurel St., Fort Bragg. skunktrain.com/ music-in-the-redwoods.

the door. June 24: 6 p.m. June 25: noon & 6 p.m. Clearlake High School. 350 Lange St., Lakeport. Tickets: tinyurl. com/3ayhvuj4.

Saturday 25 Caspar Beach Concert. Moment’s

Notice with Danny Barca. Bring lawn chairs. 2–5 p.m. Caspar Beach RV Park. Garden Stage. 14441 Pt. Cabrillo Dr., Mendocino. tinyurl. com/4u457nkd.

Symphony of the Redwoods.

Featuring guest conductor Phillip Lenberg & soprano Abigail Strock. Dvorak, Schubert, Mozart. $22–$25. Ages 18 & younger: free. June 25: 7:30 p.m. June 26: 2 p.m. $25. Cotton Auditorium.

500 N. Harold St., Fort Bragg. symphonyoftheredwoods.org.

mendo lake

Moonlight Movie Madness.

Screening of Planes: Fire & Rescue (G). Dusk. Ukiah Airport. Ukiah. cityofukiah.com/recreation.

Willits Frontier Days. Truck pull,

horse show, street dance, carnival & CCPRA Professional Rodeo. BBQ: $12–$20. Rodeo: $10–$25. Ages 2 & younger: free. June 24–July 4. Main venue: Willits Rodeo Grounds. E. Commercial St., Willits. Schedule online: willitsfrontierdays.com.

Lakeport Dance Center Annual Showcase. A Year to Remember. $15.

Tickets can be purchased online or at June 2022

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Humor Break

It wasn’t until about 25 minutes later that, just as Maddie wiped her nose on my shirt, I finally started to feel some warm drops on my hand.

Poker Face Tales of a Zero-Drama Mama

By Jessica Guerrieri

B

efore a workout class yesterday, one of my friends told me a story about arriving at the playground with her four-year-old son only to have him announce that he had a “poop-nugget” in his underwear. She didn’t have a change of clothes for him and, after all the effort it took just to get out of the house, she was not about to leave. So she found a tree, opened his pant leg, and had him shake out the poop. Then she buried it with dirt and continued on their merry way.

As she told the story, I just kept stretching, nodding along as if she were sharing their summer vacation plans. Like all moms, I have been conditioned to be unflappable, especially when it comes to anything that involves human anatomy and bodily functions.

I remember vividly, back when I had 32 MendoLakeFamilyLife

two kids under three, how I spent the morning in the bathroom at the doctor’s office trying to get a sterile urine sample from my three-year-old daughter. As she sat on the toilet, I put my hand all the way down the toilet bowl, ready for whatever came at me. My daughter just started laughing, thinking I was trying to pinch her bottom. It was at about this time that my other daughter, Maddie, discovered my wallet and started flinging my credit cards into the bathroom trashcan and onto the floor. That was it. It was time for an emergency story time.

I grabbed Maddie and sat us both next to the toilet bowl as I began to tell the Little Mermaid, hoping the water theme would get things moving. Right then an elderly man walked in on us— naturally the girls had unlocked the door—but I was happy for the break.

June 2022

It’s not just human-genital scenarios that mothers regularly confront with zero drama. Recently our three bunnies entered sexual maturity.

How do I know this? My daughter brought her upside-down bunny to me. Something had happened and she was devastated, convinced that the little guy was dying. One peek and I came face-to-face with the reality: his testicles had newly descended. I calmly let her know what was going on. Praising her for locating the one un-cute thing about these darling dwarf bunnies, I then congratulated myself for handling the situation flawlessly—no emotional trauma. Just then the bunnies began engaging in what my daughters have since affectionately named “the hippity-hop.”

I only let a hearty chuckle escape when I had made it safely to the pantry.

And that is where my chuckles, cries, and jaw-drops happen—outside of the view of my kids. The rest of the time, I, like most mothers, am the queen of the poker face. And when it comes to other moms’ tales from the bodily fluid trenches, I also don’t bat an eye. Don’t get me wrong—I love a good poop story. They are sort of my bread-and-butter as a mommy-writer.

But anyone looking for any reaction other than empathetic amusement and judgment-free solidarity has got the wrong girl. ¶ Jessica Guerrieri is a mom and a freelance writer/blogger. Find her at witandspitup.com and on Instagram @witandspitup.

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How to Get Back to Calm

treeoflifeschool@pacific.net www.treeoflifeschool.net

W

hen we are super stressed, we may feel out of control.

There is a way to get back in the driver’s seat, says Julie Potiker, a certified Mindful Self-Compassion teacher from the University of California. It’s called SNAP. Potiker details the method in her book SNAP! From Chaos to Calm, and outlines the basics here:

Accelerated Achievement Academy

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Find a School or After-School Activity in our Online Directories MendoLakeFamilyLife.com

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Get Mom’s Attention!

oothing Touch—When you feel stress, where does it show up in your body? Place your hand on your heart, face, arms, belly, or in your other hand to find your body’s soothing touch location. The release of oxytocin and endorphins will help calm your nervous system.

ame the Emotion—Name it to tame it, so that you can feel it to heal it. Naming the emotion engages your thinking brain to help you calm down when you are feeling overwhelmed. Then you can apply one of the many appropriate mindful methods to help you feel better.

A

ct—Ask the ultimate Mindful Self-Compassion question: “What do I need right now?” Then do what reasonably can be done with what you’ve got in the moment. For example:

• Try controlling your breathing, making your exhale longer than your inhale to lower blood pressure and slow heart rate.

• Try dropping your attention to the soles of your feet as you control your breathing to slow the whole show down.

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• Stay focused on your body and your breathing. Breathe in compassion for yourself because it’s so difficult, and breathe out compassion for them because they are suffering (even if their behavior might be disturbing).

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P

raise —Thank your practice for helping you manage the stress. Thank yourself for showing up day after day, trying to do your best. Thank the universe, or your spirit of choice, for giving you the strength and courage to keep on keeping on.

Find critical COVID-19 info plus lots of free kid-friendly activities.

Find out more at mindfulmethodsforlife.com. www.mendolakefamilylife.com

June 2022

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Camp 101 What to ask staff

Little Luxuries Self-care for moms

To Our Readers We are grateful to be able to provide trusted resources for parents in Mendocino and Lake Counties during this unprecedented time. Now, more than ever, we understand how important it is to come together as a community, which is why we would like to offer you a copy of our upcoming issue, delivered directly to your email inbox. Please sign up today for your copy by clicking the link below. We truly value each and every one of you!

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