The Miscellany News
Vassar College’s student newspaper of record since 1866
Vassar celebrates Halloweekend across campus
This past weekend, campus transformed as students donned their Halloween costumes and attended a wide array of performances and events, culminating in the Vassar Student Association (VSA)-organized tent party on Noyes Circle.
VSA’s Director of Student Events Ulysses Bergel ’26 has been helping to conceptualize and put into motion Halloweekend plans since classes started, meeting regularly with the VSA, Dining Services, the Office of Health Promotion and Education, Campus Safety and Security and Director of Student Activities Will Rush. When thinking about his goals for planning this year’s events, Bergel said, “I want it to live up to the excitement, essentially, while also keeping everyone safe and healthy.”
Two weeks out from Halloweekend, Bergel held a meeting with all the offices he and Rush had been talking to, finally able to bring everything together. “Seeing it come together as a product and going, okay, this is our diagram, this is what it’s going to look like, was really exciting for me,” Bergel reflected.
On Thursday, the events kicked off in the Aula with Flypeople and Hype’s combined dance show, which was themed after the “Monster High” TV show. Every piece had performers from both dance organizations,
and the finale included everyone. Flypeople’s Artistic Director Kathryn Carvel ’26
[Disclaimer: Carvel is a Copy Editor for The Miscellany News] said in a written correspondence with The Miscellany News, “Each piece is only one to two minutes long, and each dancer in the show is encouraged to pick a choreographer from the other group to allow for more mixing between
the groups.” The room was packed, with screams filling the air as people cheered on the performers. Carvel added, “The show is also low stakes and just really fun. It is always one of the best nights of the year!”
After the “Flype” show, students could either head over to the Comedy Normative (Com Nom) show, “Com Nom Takes Manhattan,” in Taylor Hall or a joint acapella
Palmer gallery opens new abstract exhibit
impulse on seeing it is to look for something recognizable—to decode its shapes. What am I supposed to see here? What does it mean?
At the center of “Shelter/Console,” the current show on display at the Palmer Gallery, stands a formidable oil canvas: “Guardian.” It greets you immediately as you step through the door. The painting is a mesh of interlocking shapes, curves and sharp angles fitted together in mesmerizing ways. The palette consists of various grays, pale gold, gentle green and deep red that bleeds into darker shadows near the bottom. The first
Thankfully, Larissa Tokmakova, the artist behind “Shelter/Console,” anticipated this reaction. In her artist’s statement, she says her husband once suggested that she provide a small map for each canvas to help viewers make sense of it. She refused, saying, “I think that might put boundaries on personal responses, make the paintings less interesting to interact with.” That line alone changes how you look at “Shelter/Console.”
Anna Little covers the Tatlock Keynote on climate change solutions.
ARTS
She gives the viewer permission to experience it through their own perspective. When I read that, I felt immediate relief, like someone had quietly lifted the pressure to figure it out. My role as a viewer was not to analyze but simply to stay present with what I was seeing.
Still, the exhibition has a thread that runs through it, which Tokmakova defines in the show’s title and statement. She describes painting these works while listening to the radio and later realizing that her art had become a reflection of what she was hearing and how she was engaging with it. The words “shelter” and “console,” then, are the purpose of this show. Her works are emotional and bodily responses to the world, an act of self-soothing for both artist and viewer.
Throughout the gallery, her works share a visual vocabulary of curved, interlocking forms in a distinct and calming color palette. Each piece feels both architectural and organic. The shapes are very precise, each line careful and deliberate, but at the same time, some of the curves evoke the fold of fabric or the bend of a human limb. Somehow, absorbing all this complexity doesn’t feel overwhelming. It is grounding, a pause from the real world to explore the abstract yet emotional.
One canvas I found particularly calming was “Interstices XIII.” It is visually simpler
See Palmer on page 5
show in Rockefeller Hall. Collaboration continued with the acapella show as the Axies, Vassar Devils and the Night Owls swapped soloists for various numbers, concluding with all three groups performing the “Monster Mash.”
On Friday night, students also had the option of attending The Limit’s comedy
Melody Hamilton reports from the StuMU Halloween cover show.
[CW: This article discusses physical violence, suicide and death.]
OnDec. 9, 2024, white corrections officers (COs) at Marcy Correctional Facility beat to death Robert Brooks, a 43-yearold Black man.
Brooks’ killing was captured on guards’ body cams, which had been powered on but not activated; they did not know the cameras were recording. While Brooks was handcuffed, officers punched him in the face, stomped on his genitals, picked him up by his neck and dropped him and pinned him against a wall so that he could not breath. This final move appears to have been what made Brooks’ cause of death “asphyxia due to compression of the neck.” More than a dozen people participated in or watched Brooks being murdered, including multiple nurses, whom officers blocked from entering the room. No one intervened. At
Abroad juniors recount their adventures and education.
Tait Tavolacci Guest Columnist
Julian Balsley News Editor
Image courtesy of Zander Ostrovsky ’28.
Image courtesy of Makenna Brown ’25.
Clara Alger Contributing Editor
See Halloween on page 4
It’s Your Move
THE MISCELLANY NEWS Join the Vassar Chadwick Chess Club
Vassar Chadwick, which has met on the Vassar campus since the 1970s, draws both Vassar students and staff as well as people from around the mid-Hudson Valley, including youngsters, working folk from the community and retirees.
Come play tournament chess in a supportive community at 7pm on Mondays in Rockefeller Hall Rooms 101 & 104.
EDITOR-IN-CHIEF MANAGING EDITOR SENIOR EDITORS
CONTRIBUTING EDITOR NEWS EDITORS
ASSISTANT NEWS EDITOR ARTS EDITOR
ASSISTANT ARTS EDITORS
FEATURES EDITOR
ASSISTANT FEATURES EDITOR
OPINIONS EDITOR
ASSISTANT OPINIONS EDITORS
HUMOR EDITORS
ASSISTANT HUMOR EDITOR SPORTS EDITORS
ASSISTANT SPORTS EDITOR DESIGN EDITORS
COPY EDITORS
ASSISTANT COPY EDITORS
GRAPHICS EDITOR GAMES EDITOR
ASSISTANT GAMES EDITOR
SOCIAL MEDIA MANAGER
LIVE EVENTS CHAIR WEBMASTER REPORTERS/COLUMNISTS
CARTOONIST COPY STAFF
Carina Cole
Allison Lowe
Darja Coutts
Luke Jenkins
Soren Fischer
Clara Alger
Julian Balsley
Emma Brown
Hadley Amato
Madeleine Nicks
Grace Finke
Aurelia Harrison
Ben Kaplan
Yaksha Gummadapu
Sydney Jones
Jacob Cifuentes
Ian Watanabe
Zoe Rodriguez
Emma daRosa
Josie Wenner
Wren Buehler
Henry France
Casey McMenamin
Holland Kaplan
Molly Delahunty
Lucas Seguinot
Kathryn Carvel
Anabel Lee
Sadie Bakken-Durchslag
Paige Hahn
Annie McShane
Sadie Keesbury
Olivia Blank
Mia Liloia
Denver Brown
Hunter Farhat
Jordan Alch
David Bray
Noah Daube-Valois
Eduardo Culmer
Armaan Desai
Noah Duncan
Lora Janczewski
Brendan Kenendy
Evan Seker
Erin Thatcher
Andrew Chu
Nikola Parker Cooperman
Elliot Evans
Gabrielle Lyman
Ren Nicolau
Tess Novack
Julia Weber
Killings and guard strike plague New York prisons
Continued from Prisons on page 1
least one nurse was smiling.
Nurses entered after 10 minutes. Eight minutes later, Brooks was declared dead.
On Dec. 21, 2024, New York Governor Kathy Hochul directed Department of Corrections and Community Supervision (DOCCS) Commissioner Daniel Martuscello III to fire 14 individuals involved in the killing. “We have no tolerance for individuals who cross the line, break the law and engage in unnecessary violence or targeted abuse,” Hochul wrote in a statement announcing the firings.
Multiple of the officers who killed Brooks were part of a “beat-up squad,” officially a “security squad team,” that operated at Marcy for years. State officials as high up as Attorney General Letitia James knew of the squad—her office represented guards in an abuse lawsuit. In 2022, prisoners William Alvarez and Adam Bauer filed separate lawsuits alleging severe assaults by Marcy officers, at least three of whom—Sergeant Glenn Trombly and officers Anthony Farina and Nicholas Anzalone—contributed to killing Brooks. In an interview with Assistant Attorney General Matthew Gallagher, Alvarez brought up the beat-up squad and named Trombly and Farina as leaders.
In May and August 2025, five guards involved in killing Brooks—including Farina and Anzalone—pleaded guilty to manslaughter. In October, another guard was convicted of murder. Two more were acquitted.
Prisoner abuse, especially by beat-up squads, is widespread in New York. At Fishkill Correctional in Beacon—15 miles from Vassar College—21-year-old Benjamin Van Zandt committed suicide after witnessing the Fishkill beat-up squad severely assault another incarcerated person. According to his psychologist’s notes, Van Zandt, who was diagnosed with schizophrenia and severe psychotic depression, feared officers might beat him to death and said he preferred to kill himself. In 2015, the Fishkill beat-up squad beat Samuel Harrell to death, a 30-year-old Black man with bipolar disorder. The U.S. Attorney’s Office for the Southern District of New York declined to file charges, citing insufficient evidence.
Three and a half months before Brooks’ killing, prisoners’ rights advocates warned DOCCS Commissioner Martuscello that COs were regularly severely beating people. They called the violence a “ticking time-bomb.” Martuscello dismissed the concerns as impossible due to cameras in prisons.
The death of Robert Brooks wasn’t something out of the ordinary
It’s something that happens all the time in New York state prisons. This one just happened to be caught on camera… This isn’t a new crisis. This crisis has been in existence since prisons in itself.
tor of Prisoners’ Brain Trust, which works to amplify the voices of people affected by incarceration and the criminal justice system. “It’s something that happens all the time in New York state prisons. This one just happened to be caught on camera… This isn’t a new crisis. This crisis has been in existence since prisons in itself.”
Kohn continued, “During my time in incarceration, I’ve witnessed people getting beat up by the cops. I’ve witnessed the same horrors that Robert Brooks has experienced.”
“The existence of prisons in the first place is a crisis,” Mars Graham ’28, a prospective Prison Studies correlate, wrote in an email to The Miscellany News. “Prison was never intended to be a reformative practice, and we can see this in every facet of the way it functions.”
Two months after Brooks was killed, on Feb. 14, New York COs began an unauthorized strike, citing unsafe working conditions. Under New York law, public employees and employee organizations are prohibited from striking and face removal or loss of pay for doing so. The strike continued for almost a month, involving around 15,000 officers at all but two of New York’s 42 prisons.
The officer shortage also worsened incarcerated people’s living conditions. The strike exacerbated these issues. Prisoners were locked in their cells or dorms for full days. Activities—yard, college classes, weekday visits, garbage collection, laundry, showers—were interrupted. Food was delivered to cells soggy and moldy.
As the strike dragged on, with 90 percent of COs joining, Hochul called in over 6,500 National Guardsmen, who were locked into prisons and slept on cots.
In late February 2025, Jonathan Grant, a 61-year-old diabetic man, died at Auburn Correctional. Multiple prisoners blamed the strike’s 24-hour shutdowns and food shortages for his death. A few days later, Anthony Douglas, 67, and Franklyn Dominguez, 35, died at Sing Sing Correctional. Douglas’ death appears to have been a suicide. On March 1, Mid-State Correctional’s beat-up squad killed Messiah Nantwi, a 22-year-old Black man, by kicking and stomping him in the head. Over a dozen guards were charged with murder, assault and an attempted cover-up. At least seven incarcerated people died during the strike.
phasized. “The reality of the HALT bill is, no, that it doesn’t go far enough. Because you can’t reform torture.”
Striking guards said HALT undermined prisoner discipline, fostered disorder and violence and made their jobs more difficult and dangerous. “The use of solitary is a preferred method of guards who want to maintain strict discipline and protect their own safety through a regime of fear,” wrote Yoder. “The inmates and the guards are locked into an adversarial relationship. Any advance in the human rights of the inmates becomes framed as negatively impacting the working conditions of the COs.”
“The strike was manufactured,” Kohn commented. “The strike was not simply about the overtime wages. This was not simply about the [overtime] shifts… Part of what actually led to the strike was the fact that they were charging officers for the murder of Robert Brooks. It came to the fact that [guards] could no longer use solitary confinement the way that they were using it before.”
“The death of Robert Brooks wasn’t something out of the ordinary,” said Alisha Kohn, Co-Founder and Co-Executive direc-
DOCCS’ chronic staffing shortage forced guards to work compulsory overtime shifts of 16- or 24-hours. According to DOCCS, New York had 2,000 officer vacancies and used 7,441,833 overtime hours in 2024—up 21 percent from 2023. Vassar Adjunct Assistant Professor of Religion Klaus Yoder, who researches Christianity’s ties to incarceration, identified the staffing shortage as symptomatic of one of the carceral system’s fundamental issues. “Working for the carceral system is a way the state makes stable employment available for the working class. Prisons are supposed to be an economic fix for deindustrialization,” wrote Yoder in an email to this paper. “But they never really take the place of those lost jobs. Meanwhile the work is hard and dangerous.”
One of the striking guards’ primary demands was repealing the 2021 Humane Alternatives to Long-Term Solitary Confinement (HALT) Act. The act prohibits placing incarcerated individuals in solitary confinement—defined as confinement of 17 hours or more per day—for over 15 consecutive days or 20 total days in a 60-day period. It also prohibits confining prisoners who are 21 or under, 55 or older, disabled, pregnant, in the first eight weeks of post-partum recovery or caring for newborns. These restrictions follow recommendations by the United Nations Special Rapporteur on Torture, who determined that solitary confinement of over 15 consecutive days is torture.
“HALT came after decades of prison organizing, hunger strikes, lawsuits, families fighting to make the state admit that solitary confinement is torture,” Kohn em-
On Feb. 20, 2025, DOCCS temporarily paused parts of HALT. A March 8 agreement between DOCCS and the CO union extended the pause for 90 days, which continued well past its deadline of June 6. On July 1, New York Judge Daniel Lynch enjoined DOCCS from suspending HALT. It is active as of publication.
After 22 days, Hochul ended the strike on March 10, firing 2,000 guards and banning them from future public employment. To counteract the now further exacerbated shortage, Hochul plans to close five prisons next year. She closed two prisons in 2024. A fired sergeant told The Free Lance, “It’s gonna be worse than ever. They’re going to lose one of those jails.”
As of late October, some prisoners are still locked in their cells for full days with most activities canceled. “The state says stuff all the time,” Kohn said. “Until those actually doors are closed—we won’t know until it’s done.”
Image courtesy of Wikimedia Commons.
Students take part in Halloweekend events
show, “This Knife Life,” in Sanders Classroom. Throughout Vassar Halloweekend, students also attended the Vassar Theater Department’s production of William Shakespeare’s “Measure for Measure” in the Powerhouse Theater. Directed by Professor and Chair of Drama Christopher Grabowski, the production was a senior thesis for eight of the 15 members of the show.
Saturday afternoon included hayrides, pumpkin carving and apple cider snacks on the Library Lawn. Yet the culmination of Halloweekend came on Saturday night with the party tent on Noyes Circle. The event was DJed by three student acts, DJ Burgers, DJ Nure and Pearl. The event was coordinated by Vassar College Soundsystem, a club devoted to supporting student DJs and led by co-presidents Kwabena Adae ’26 and Madison Yeon ’27.
Adae noted that this was a good opportunity since getting the club back up and running this year. Reflecting on the night, Adae said, “I thought the night went really well. I enjoyed my set.” They added, “I was excited by people’s willingness to dance, and the layout of the tent seemed great. I think the entertainment on the way to the line seemed like a great addition.”
Senior Zack Garipoli noted that part of the tent’s allure is the fact that so much of the student body turns up: “I like the tent because you just run into everybody… And I’ve, honestly, I’ve had fun every year.” They added that there is an egalitarian approach to tent partying, saying, “No one acts like
they’re too cool for the tent.”
On the other end of their Vassar career, first-year Summer McTigue appreciated how the College promoted safe alcohol consumption. “They’re not obviously promoting it, but they’re making sure that everyone’s being safe, which I really appreciate,” she said. “I feel like it’s just very different from, obviously, like, what I’ve experienced in high school.”
This communal aspect of the tent that Garipoli noted spilled over into Late Night snacking at Gordon Commons. Olivia Powell ’26 wondered, “Why is the Deece hosting the party?… It’s just a super brightly lit club.”
Irene Chun ’27 said of the tent experience, “I had so much fun. I was dancing so much, and the beats were good.” Yet she still felt there was something left to be desired, asking, “Because what about Ke$ha? What about these, like, mainstream pop hits?… Where was the Halloween music? Like, what about a trap remix of Spooky Scary Skeletons?”
Chun described it as a part of the larger trend of DJs shying away from pop, saying, “I don’t think there’s anything embarrassing about pop music and I think people should be leaning into that more.” McTigue also hoped for some more popular hits, saying, “I feel like it’s more of like a community than when it’s everyone singing along to a song together.”
This Halloween was a busy weekend involving student spirit and talent. Reflecting on the process, Bergel expressed his gratitude, saying, “Seriously, to every single of-
fice and organization involved…Halloweekend would not be possible without all of these people coordinating and working together.”
Tatlock Keynote offers kinship as climate change solution
involved in planning concrete steps to address and adapt to climate change.
On Monday, Oct. 27, Vassar College welcomed distinguished professor and former U.S. Science Envoy Kyle Whyte as the 2025-2026 Tatlock Fellow. Whyte is a member of the Citizen Potawatomi Nation and offered his perspective on climate change responses in his keynote, “Kinship Ethic for Climate Action.”
Before Whyte began the keynote, Vassar Professor of English on the Ethel and Alexander Klemin Chair Molly McGlennen, provided a brief introduction with Vassar’s land acknowledgement, recognizing the College’s presence on Munsee Lenape land and the acknowledgement’s own hollowness without countering injustice against Indigenous peoples. As a segue to Whyte’s address, he explained the importance of caring for the land the College occupies and maintaining the connection to its historical past.
The Citizen Potawatomi Nation currently resides in Oklahoma, and though they were relocated from the Great Lakes in 1838 during the Trail of Death, they still hold their homelands as critically important to their legacy. In his address, Whyte spoke of the great difficulty in reorganizing their whole way of living to adapt to an entirely new environment, not once, but three times, first from the Great Lakes to Iowa, then to Kansas and finally to Oklahoma. However, Whyte affirmed their resilience and ability to reconnect as a community as well as with their new landscape. Whyte argued that it is no accident that climate change impacts affect marginalized groups such as Indigenous peoples. As a result, Native American governments, elders and organizations are most aware and directly
Whyte emphasized that Indigenous groups have known about climate change for centuries, seeing it as a past, ongoing and future part of life. Expanding on this, he suggested that many of his tribe elders wonder when the dominant society will truly start to respond to it. Because their lives are so intertwined with the land they live on, Native groups have created pragmatic solutions that go back generations to conserve and protect their land and natural resources.
For example, Whyte spoke of the Menominee Tribe, which collectively runs a logging enterprise while maintaining a sustainable forest in Wisconsin. They plant different combinations of trees and plants to foster a biodiverse forest that can withstand warming temperatures and environmental changes. As Whyte explained, these environmental practices are ancient and show the strength of Indigenous knowledge systems built through community, careful observation of nature and a built-up understanding of ecosystem health and management over time. Though these knowledge systems are not directly scientific, Whyte said, they cultivate a deep respect for their environment through kinship.
Kinship is about restoring relationships between humans and different species— animals and plants—and creating what Whyte refers to as “a culture of abundance.” In order to care for something, he explained, management of the species must be considered in terms of how it can exist abundantly. This means considering what needs to be done to maintain a healthy, growing population of something while harvesting only what is needed for food,
materials and tools. For example, Whyte spoke about wild rice, an important cultural and spiritual food, and invited the audience to think of it in terms of the “consent of wild rice.” In other words, this means focusing on what the rice needs. Since we cannot speak directly with other species, we must first learn from the rice, such as what conditions the wild rice grows best in and how to allow it to grow each year while harvesting enough. According to Whyte, personally caring for something like wild rice establishes a “reciprocity” between the human and plant.
Whyte extolled this idea of kinship as the basis for effective environmental management. By building kinship with a species, he argued that the nonhuman acts as an energizer for organizing local action and working as a community. Whyte explained one such species Indigenous organizations strived to restore was the snowshoe hare. By motivating members to connect with the hare, they were able to work together and build a giant regional initiative. According to Whyte, starting small, even by simply connecting oneself to potatoes, is kinship. Because kinship builds trust and relationships between the human and nonhuman as well as amongst communities, it is easier to organize effective concrete action.
Whyte explained that an environment absent of kinship is toxic to both humans and nature, and that there is a great difference in addressing climate change based on a kinship with a species versus with technology and large-scale, data-driven solutions. He spoke briefly about his time working with President Joe Biden’s administration, explaining that despite the plans for technological climate solutions, these projects were eventually “eviscerated.” Instead, Whyte advocated for environmental
activities that can be “scalable” and easier for the general public to learn and participate in to help fight climate change.
Students who attended the talk found Whyte’s words on climate action captivating. “I was fascinated to learn that Native Americans have been studying climate change for centuries,” said Frances Pope ’26. “What stood out to me most was the lesson about kinship.” Jack Cellucci ’28 commented, “I really enjoyed the talk.” He continued, “It taught me the more local the better, and the more creative the solutions can be.”
Assistant Professor of American Studies, Leora Gansworth, who is Anishinabe-kwe, also provided her thoughts on the keynote. “Dr. Whyte’s talk reminded me of the important need to interrogate our collective framing of anthropogenic climate change.” Gansworth added, “Rethinking and reinvigorating our human and non-human relatedness provides effective meaning-making related to place, kinship relations, and personal autonomy.”
Today there are 574 sovereign Indigenous tribes in the United States, and together, as Whyte stated, they have a large conservation footprint. With their unique role alongside the U.S. government, Indigenous groups are able to legally carry out what other communities cannot, such as buying land to stop sulfide mining. However, Whyte emphasized that everyone can learn from the concept of kinship to start conservation at a local level. Reminding attendees to “unlock the power of the nonhuman” at the conclusion of his address, Whyte urged the audience to find environmental focal points at Vassar to energize community and relationships with nature which both could help restore kinship and good mental health over toxicity.
Anna Little Guest Reporter
Clara Alger/The Miscellany News.
Continued from Halloween on page 1
Palmer gallery show “Shelter/Console” elicits calm
than most of the exhibit, with large planes of blue and brown and grey gently folding together, leaving plenty of space for the eye to rest. Tracing the contours of each shape was meditative, following the sweeping curves and sharp, clean angles. After a long, stressful day, looking at it felt like stillness, a gentle slowing down.
The show’s smaller works, such as “Study for Lithograph 4,” reveal the precision and discipline behind that calm. These studies—watercolor, gouache and colored pencil on paper—lay bare Tokmakova’s process of layering. What might appear random in the larger canvases is shown to be carefully built with each feathered brushstroke or wash of translucent light. The inclusion of these smaller works shows that her work balances vast, open spaces with fine details.
What I found most beautiful was the way each canvas creates and protects a space for color. Sweeping curves cup pockets of blue or ochre that are untouched by the surrounding motion. These sheltered wells of color feel sacred, like the emotional heart of each work.
They are protected spaces that feel like visual metaphors for how we hold emotion: sometimes contained, sometimes spilling over.
Despite their abstraction, nothing in Tokmakova’s work feels random. Every brushstroke and curve is deliberate. Her paintings do not shout for interpretation; they invite attention. During my visit, I found myself letting go of the urge to define them and instead focusing on what felt comforting about each piece: the internal logic, the rhythm of lines and spaces, the quiet assurance that everything was exactly where it should be.
These paintings are not escapist but restorative—small zones of order within chaos. Observing them feels therapeutic: the way the colors merge and separate, the way each form both shelters and releases. The abstraction lets emotion breathe without needing an image or explanation. It offers the viewer a place to rest.
“Shelter/Console” will be on display at the Palmer Gallery in Main Building through Nov. 23, 2025, and Tokmakova will speak at a gallery talk on Nov. 22, 2025 in the Palmer Gallery.
‘Love Is Blind’ explores sparkles, tension and love?
Julia Carpenito Guest Columnist
Netflix’s most recent season of the popular reality show “Love Is Blind” finally wrapped up after it debuted on Oct. 1. It seems we now have the answer to the million-dollar question: Is love truly blind? Full spoilers ahead for the Denver, Colorado season: The answer is a definitive “no.”
The concept behind the series is simple: 16 women and 16 men get to know each other through the “pods” over the course of 10 days. Unlike other popular reality dating shows, “Love Is Blind” focuses on a category of singles who are typically looking to settle down.
As the name of the show suggests, they cannot see each other until they get engaged. As host Nick Lachey puts it, “You’ll finally have the chance to fall in l Celebrating the renewals of “Overcompensating” and “Adults” ove based solely on who you are on the inside. Not for your looks, your race, your background or your income.” If a couple gets engaged and makes it out of the pods, they go on a vacation in paradise to test their physical connection. For some couples, this only strengthens their relationship, while for others, this is where things begin to take a turn… for the worse.
Post-paradise, the couples spend several weeks living together, where they meet each other’s family and friends, seeing how compatible their lifestyles are in the real world. In Season Nine, this is where we see couples Madison Maidenberg and Joe
Ferrucci, Annie Lancaster and Nick Amato and “Sparkle” Megan Walerius and Jordan Keltner call it quits. For those who make it to the altar, they decide if love is truly blind.
In the first episode of the season, we meet some of the singles and find out why they are on the show, what they are looking for and what they hope their futures will look like. Jordan explains part of what drew him to the show, saying, “I’m a single parent, so I definitely feel like there’s been a few times where, you know, I tell the lady I have a kid and all interest is lost.” Chyna Craig says, “I would love to talk to someone, and they just get to know me from the heart and not what they see.” As the episodes and speed dating rituals go on, we start to see some connections being formed. However, do not forget that this is reality television. The connections are bound to get messy, and some men or women have to choose between their connections.
A love triangle that instantly sticks out is the one between Jordan, “Sparkle Megan,” and Mike Brockway. Jordan is a single dad to a young son with type 1 diabetes, and Mike describes himself as a real estate investor who buys a property a year, strongly values diet and exercise and hints at some sort of “wealthy tribe” that none of the viewers quite understand. The way that Mike presents himself instantly rubbed me the wrong way as a viewer, and the language he later uses with Megan when finding out she has another strong connection is alarming, cryptically blaming her for having it.
Because of this, Megan eventually chooses Jordan due to both the genuine relationship they had that is unlike those of her failed past relationships and the bond over a shared connection to type 1 diabetes, as both Jordan’s son Luca and Megan’s late father had the same condition.
However, once their relationship is put to the test in the real world, Megan feels less confident about their future together and calls off the wedding due to lifestyle differences that just would not be sustainable. As a viewer, I see her hinting at the fact that, because of her built-up wealth via her career, she would be held back by Jordan in a way. Later, though, Megan denies this and says that their financial difference was not the reason for the separation.
Couples Madison and Joe and Annie and Nick also break up before the big day. As a “Love Is Blind” veteran, I feel like I have a good sense of who is going to work out and who is not. I was correct about both. Annie and Nick seemed to be off to a strong start after leaving the pods, despite my distaste for their pairing in general. However, something always felt off about them, and perhaps this is what Nick felt, too, when he called off the engagement with Annie after being unhappy in their brief relationship. This was the exact reason for Madison and Joe’s breakup, too. Their split came after the tuxedo and wedding dress fitting when Joe said it just did not feel right, and when Madison was rightfully confused and upset, he could not really offer another explanation.
Some suggest that the lack of a physical
connection was the fault, as things were going great until the couple left the pods and Joe offered in an interview that he typically goes for “thinner” women. I honestly think that they were not compatible for the long run and he just decided to end the relationship then and there instead of at the altar. Out of the couples who made it out of the pods, the only ones who make it to the altar are Ali Lima and Anton Yarosh and Kalybriah Haskin and Edmond Harvey. Out of the couples who make it to the altar, the ones that officially tie the knot are… neither. In both engaged couples, the women are the ones to say no, with the grooms saying yes. Ali says that the Anton in the real world is not the Anton she fell in love with in the pods, and that he was not upfront about certain habits, like his drinking. When Kalybriah says “I don’t”, she explains that she is not completely ready for a lifelong relationship with Edmond. Their previous disagreements had not been fully resolved, and I believe that this is part of what made their relationship rocky from both Kalybriah’s and the viewer’s perspective.
“Love Is Blind” is by far a favorite reality show of mine to watch with my amazing grandmother, Bingy, and though Season Nine could be considered a massive fail, I both appreciate and am entertained by the way it manages to represent very real relationship themes in 2025. I think it is safe to say that, in general, it is never as simple as saying love is or is not blind. As for next season, it seems like we will have our answers for the singles of my home city, Boston, Massachusetts!
Continued from Palmer on page 1
Images courtesy of Makenna Brown ’28.
Celebrating the renewals of ‘Overcompensating’ and ‘Adults’
Madeleine Nicks Arts Editor
One of my only grievances about being a student journalist is that my work stops over the summer. Finally, when I have all the time to write in the world and new media galore, I lose my creative outlet. Luckily for me, the past few weeks have been big in terms of TV news. This pre-holiday period is when streaming services and networks alike decide whether their new crop of shows will get the coveted green light for their second season.
The two shows that I have personally been holding my breath about are Amazon Prime’s “Overcompensating” and FX’s “Adults.” Both of these shows are totally original and feature a cast of newcomers, two characteristics that you are hard-pressed to find on TV these days. Both series came out in May and have recently been renewed for their second season, so now is the perfect time to binge them so you are caught up with the rest of the audience upon the next release.
I will begin with “Overcompensating.” The show is created by and stars Benito Skinner, who some may know as the TikTok star “Benny Drama,” rising to fame through his spoton impressions of the likes of Kourtney Kardashian and Drew Barrymore. He grew his popularity by pairing up with his best friend, Mary Beth Barone, to launch their podcast, “Ride,” which is how I personally became fans of them both. I was commuting a few
times a week from my hometown of Santa Barbara to Los Angeles over the summer, and I am ashamed to admit just how many times I had to pull over mid-drive because “Ride” was making me laugh too hard. So, I was overjoyed when news broke that Skinner was releasing a show loosely based on his time at Georgetown University in the mid-2010s.
The show follows Benny—played by Skinner—as he navigates his first year of college at the fictional Yates University while struggling to come to terms with his sexuality. He quickly befriends Carmen, played by Wally Baram, who becomes Benny’s confidante and partner in collegiate tomfoolery. Benny’s older sister, Grace, played by Barone, also attends Yates, so the show alternates between focusing on Benny’s storyline and Grace’s. Grace’s boyfriend, a typical and hilarious frat bro played by Adam DiMarco, encourages Benny to join his fraternity. These four main characters become intertwined in numerous complex ways, reaching a level of involvement that makes it increasingly difficult for Benny to stay in the closet. The fraternity also introduces Benny to his possible love interest, Rish, played by Miles Hari. The rest of Yates is made up of a tapestry of hilarious yet ridiculous, well-thought-out side characters who deliver incredible one-liners and sincere moments of humanity.
“Overcompensating” is, above all, a truly laugh-out-loud funny show that is written intelligently but without pretension. It speaks
to a generation of people that were in college during the time, the parents of those students and people now, who are still having to navigate these same issues a decade later. It is also a deeply personal story, and Skinner delivers his message with clarity and humility, and the understanding that he is much too old to be playing an 18-year-old—but we can forgive him for that.
The second show that I would like to bring attention to is “Adults.” While “Overcompensating” had a big release, with a lot of support from Amazon and some star power, “Adults” flew a little bit more under the radar. The show was created by Ben Kronengold and Rebecca Shaw, two experienced yet fresh comedic writers, and executive-produced by Nick Kroll. The show follows a group of five twenty-somethings camping out in one of their parents’ houses in Queens as they navigate the professional(-ish) world and the dynamics within their complicated social group.
The show is absolutely working from the soul of “Friends” with the sharp wit of “Girls.” It is an authentic and genuine production, with the relationship between the characters so believable that it sometimes hits a little too close to home. The cast have diverse backgrounds in the acting and comedic world, and are obviously overjoyed to be given the opportunity to be a part of this series and the high-achieving world of FX. Malik (Samir Rahman), Lucy (Billie Schaeffer), Anton (Owen Thiele) and Paul Baker (Jack Inna-
nen)—who is always called by his first and last name—have crafted a true group bond that makes the tone of the show warm, relaxed and all the more hilarious.
Each of the eight episodes of the show can stand alone, which I find incredibly rare. It was not the need to find out the next stage of the plot that kept me watching, but the genuine joy of being thoroughly entertained. Each of the five friends are completely fleshed-out humans with personalities that you instantly feel attached to. The writing of the show is risky and bold, with just enough ridiculousness to leave room for exploration and play. It approached the seasoned subject of a struggling, young-adult friend group with a completely modern, lively lens.
After months of speculation, “Overcompensating” and “Adults” will be able to continue telling their stories, which personally makes me feel optimistic about the current future of TV. Studios and streaming services are putting their belief into young creators who are bringing original and personal experiences into the world of storytelling, an uphill battle that is essential to fight in order to keep media organic as major franchises loom overhead and the threat of AI only grows stronger. So if you are looking for a new binge-worthy show and are excited to become attached to a cast of characters, I highly recommend tuning in to these shows while you can still call yourself a fan from the very beginning.
StuMU’s Halloween Cover Show brings musicians together
On Wednesday, Oct. 29, my friends and I pushed our way into the Aula. When we emerged through the enthusiastic crowd, we saw that the room was possessed by Halloween spirit: cobwebs covered the windows while lights flashed and bass boomed. As a balloon was sent flying over my head, my eyes fell on an intimate little stage where the
punk band Green Day. In my opinion, their mini-set was a perfect blend of spooky and classic hits from Green Day’s discography. The song “Brain Stew” included some creepy lyrics, which were very on-theme for the season. One stanza reads, “My eyes feel like they’re gonna bleed / Dried up, and bulging out my skull.” A friend of mine is a massive Green Day fan who could sing along with every word, but even the less initiated among us were screaming the words to “Boulevard
Halloween Cover Show was about to take place.
Over the course of the night, several musical genres were represented. In typical Vassar fashion, classic indie folk and indie rock artists took to the stage, including the lookalikes of Phoebe Bridgers, The Cranberries and Florence + The Machine. The audience screamed the lyrics of pop-punk favorites like Paramore’s “Misery Business” alongside those of poppier artists like Olivia Rodrigo and Twenty One Pilots. By the time the stage was illuminated by a sea of flashlights waving to the music of The Strokes, I could tell there was an atmosphere of camaraderie between the audience and the musicians onstage.
Drummer Bailey Mahoney ’26 and her bandmates, adorned in black clothes and heavy eyeliner, chose to cover iconic pop-
of Broken Dreams” by the end of the set.
For Mahoney, performing in the Cover Show has been a four-year-long dream come true. “I remember being in the front dancing with my friends to the music, and being so impressed with all of the covers,” Mahoney recalled when describing her first time attending the show. “I went to the Cover Show every year after that and had a great time being in the audience, but I’m so happy that I got to be a part of it my last year at Vassar.”
I could feel the band’s excitement from the audience, so it made sense to hear that Mahoney felt very supported throughout her whole Cover Show experience. She told me, “It felt so amazing to be on stage in front of the crowd…and sharing the stage with so many other wonderful student bands made me feel so much a part of the community.”
Each year, the Cover Show is organized and
run by the Vassar Student Music Union (StuMU), and, as I would discover, this feeling of community was no accident—the people at StuMU put a lot of thought and care into creating a safe, encouraging environment for performers each year. Wanting to learn more about how such an environment is cultivated each year, I talked to StuMU president Sierra Iames ’27. When I asked her about the history of the Cover Show, she told me that before it was an independent organization, StuMU was an offshoot of Vassar College Entertainment. In 2016, however, StuMU branched off and gained independent organization status, aiming to act as a support system for Vassar’s musician population. Ever since, the Halloween Cover Show has been a staple event for the organization. “The Cover Show, while an annual event, changes every year,” Iames explained. “StuMU works with all student artists to make their vision and engagement in the music scene and culture at Vassar a reality, so part of the success of this year’s cover show was incorporating the ideas of our GB [general body] members, other student musicians, and EB [executive board] into our plans.”
In talking to Iames, I came to realize that the loving and supportive atmosphere in
the room that night was very intentional. “[The show] encapsulates the ‘union’ aspect of StuMU– student musicians spending the night bonding together over their favorite musicians,” she explained. It became clear to me that StuMU strategically uses the Cover Show to get people involved in the club and to gauge what kind of music Vassar students are passionate about from year to year. The organization is mindful of the fact that it can be intimidating to put yourself up onstage, so they intentionally cultivate an atmosphere for students to try something new and gain some self-confidence. “Performing can be nerve-wracking or feel like a lot of pressure,” Iames explained, “But the Cover Show gives you an opportunity to pretend to be the most confident and fun and inspiring musician you can think of.”
At the end of the night, my friends and I emerged from the Aula with ringing ears, hoarse voices and full hearts. We had watched friends shine onstage, listened to the music of some of our favorite bands and sung along with a passionate crowd. Knowing all of the heart that goes into the Halloween Cover Show, I am so excited to see what next year has in store. Who knows? Maybe I will even drag some friends onstage with me!
Melody Hamilton Guest Columnist
Image courtesy of Zander Ostrovsky ’28.
Image courtesy of Zander Ostrovsky ’28.
Seeing an upside down perspective: stories from abroad
Naomi Meyers, Jordan Trinidad Guest Columnists
Wenever thought that the first time we would feel like scientists would be when we were splattered with bat poo, lying on the forest floor outside of a tiny village in rural Australia.
Ostensibly, we were there to see if bats are lefties. Or righties. Or bothies. We had been tasked to see if bats exhibit a preference for a side when hanging upside down.
We were in pairs, one person with binoculars trained on a randomly chosen bat, calling out when a bat switched feet, while the other person took note of the time. Afterward, we counted up how many seconds out of five minutes the bat spent on each or both of its legs. We took our measurements in the early morning, when the bats had returned from their nightly insect feast, and again in the early afternoon, during their naptime, and finally at dusk, when they began to wake up.
This day, among the bats was one of many intimate encounters with nature that we have experienced in the rainforests and reefs of Far North Queensland, Australia. The program focuses on natural and cultural ecology, including instruction on traditional Aboriginal knowledge from elders, as well as field ecology from Western scientists. Both of us are majoring in biology with a correlate or second major in a humanities field, making this program the perfect opportunity to delve into the intersection of science and culture. Although our project’s main purpose was to conduct a scientific study, we left thinking about far more than just results.
Some of the spectacled flying foxes—bats with a wingspan of up to a meter—would twist around to peer at us from upside down; many of them shrieked the pitchy
“Wa-wa,” akin to that of a premature baby, grouchy when we stirred too much beneath them; all of them rained poop down on us. We got dizzy peering through the binoculars; we got leg cramps, we got ticks (we were told, by several unfazed Australians, that it is paralysis tick season). I got poop on my “I heart NYC” shirt (it stains, apparently). We even secured the data we were after, but above all, we gained insight into what it means to be a scientist. Specifically, what it means to be a scientist enraptured by a creature that is threatened, misunderstood and vital.
There were times when we simply lowered the binoculars to stare at a sky full of upside-down faces, or when we swore that the bats stared back at us, just as ponderous about us as we were of them. We began to care, to squeal with excitement. We were not, by any means, “unattached” from our subjects of observation. In a world where creatures and ecosystems, and the means of protecting them, are rapidly disappearing, maybe more scientists—more people!— should spend more time lying on the forest floor just looking up.
A huge part of conservation involves public education and support. For most people, it is hard to support a cause when they are not given a reason to care. As silly as it sounds, lying on the ground covered in poop is an incredible way to find this reason.
In Australia, many people view flying foxes as a nuisance. They are loud, stinky and associated in the minds of many with disease. What many people do not see are the complex inter-bat relationships, their personalities, how vital they are as seed dispersers and forest regenerators… and their downright adorable faces. After spending two hours in their world, we were able to see why ecologists and conservationists
care so much.
The bat world is not much different from ours. They argued with their neighbors, created safety measures to protect their young, yelled at the strange humans beneath them and even yawned when they got sleepy. It is hard to imagine that anyone could spend even half of the time we did with these animals and not feel a connection.
This connection is key to protecting our beautiful rainforest—a habitat crucial for absorbing carbon dioxide, supporting the water cycle and hosting unfathomably intertangled biodiversity. Flying foxes are long-distance seed dispersers and pollinators, helping to ensure the success of tropical rainforests in Australia.
Currently, flying foxes face a number of challenges stemming from human interactions. Barbed wire fences snare them at night and lead to extensive wing damage; pesticides are suspected to result in birth defects; and habitat loss moves them to urban areas where they face more dog attacks and car accidents.
Part of conservation efforts for flying
foxes, but also for every threatened and endangered species in the world, needs to involve empathy. It is easy to label ecology as a hard science with no room for emotion, but emotion is an important driver for enacting and sustaining real change. As much as scientists put their energy into a topic, without public attention and involvement, this energy will not take us anywhere.
At the end of the day, we ran the numbers and found that, although most of the bats held on with both of their feet, when they switched to one foot, they always picked the same one. It turns out that there are about the same number of bats that prefer their left to right as there are bats that prefer their right to left. This preliminary evidence took less than two days, a pair of binoculars and a sacrificed pair of shorts to produce, yet we walked away with much more. We left with an understanding of what it is going to take to be conservation scientists. Even if it means putting our heart on the line, which is exhausting and risky, we have to care. Otherwise, we run the risk of becoming desensitized to loss and doing nothing.
The blue book returns to Vassar
“good” writer.
Earlier this month, as I prepared myself for my first round of college midterms, I found myself faced with three impending blue book exams. I was surprised. Even though I was intimately familiar with this type of exam from high school, three felt like an unprecedented amount. Where were the research papers I was expecting? Why were they getting replaced by these high school-style in-class exams?
Blue books are certainly not new, but they seem to be going through a renaissance as professors across campuses grapple with increasing AI use. This change is part of a much broader trend in colleges across the United States, where professors, after noticing students’ excessive use of AI in takehome writing assignments, have turned to the classic blue book as an anti-AI Hail Mary.
Of course, not all students use generative chatbots. As Visiting Professor in the Film and Media Studies Department, Katie Model noted, “CliffNotes have been around and there were always students that used them or some form of them and there were other students that didn’t.” The “easy way out” has always been there, but perhaps never as accessible and undetectable as AI makes it.
AI’s capabilities as a writer have grown exponentially over the past year alone. Even in creative writing—a field that many thought would remain untouched by AI—ChatGPT and other language models have gotten increasingly good at replicating the voice of a
When these large language AI models came out in 2022, their creative writing capabilities seemed pretty limited. For example, most chatbots appeared incapable of writing free verse poems, but that is no longer the case. Professor Timothy Liu, Adjunct Assistant Professor and poet, gave this example: “You could say: ‘write a poem about a kid eating an ice cream cone at Princeton, a hot day, and the cone falls and the scoop falls off the cone in the style of Rita Dove.’
And what’s interesting is it’s gonna give you a free verse poem in the style of Rita Dove and it actually sounds pretty good.”
The increased capabilities of AI in writing have made sniffing out the fake from the real writers more and more difficult. “As a teacher, if that’s what a student wants to do then there’s nothing I could do to stop them,” Professor Liu explained. “I’m not really that interested in spending a lot of time trying to monitor or police it.” Ultimately, Liu explained, students are cheating themselves of the opportunity for growth and learning.
Beyond cheating, Liu and Model’s remarks reveal even deeper worries about losing originality and personality in writing. Model explained, “ I think apart from AI [there is an emphasis on] clarity and argument, but at the expense of the art.” AI’s writing, Model noticed, is often centered around making the clearest, most concise points possible. Rather than engage with content through unconventional angles, AI tends to focus on creating clear and streamlined arguments. The papers AI produces
are—notably only sometimes—technically correct. However, I think most Vassar students will attest, what makes a class interesting is not the homogeneous takeaways from the material but the conflict, confusion and diverse interpretations that inevitably arise when engaging with complex texts.
Of course, this level of engagement with content and writing takes time. The primary reason students reach for generative chatbots is not from lack of interest—though that may sometimes be the case—but lack of time. “ I used to be able to go to meet with every student and go over their papers and I used to require it,” Professor Model shared. “The time isn’t there anymore because of both life and work demands.” It seems the time to invest in writing is not there anymore. This business is not only going to affect how students write and what professors teach in class, but what type of writing we collectively and culturally value. As we prioritize efficiency, we lose the time and space not only to craft but to explore ideas in new ways. We demand efficiency from the media we consume, and it is demanded of us as producers. Though there are exceptions. Model pointed out that long-form content, like podcasts or long-form television, has created spaces where efficiency isn’t necessarily prioritized. Instead, these platforms create environments where discussions wander and meander beyond ‘key takeaways,’ and encourage audiences to engage with content in less streamlined ways. These explorations are inevitably imperfect and oftentimes not necessarily fruitful or even sensible by nature. It is in these
moments of discovery that interesting, new ideas come about. “ What’s always surprising about the arts is most of the art that is produced is mediocre and regurgitated [...] that’s sort of the nature of the beast as we learn by exposure and imitation and practice.” Liu continued, “A lot of the work that ends up standing the test of time is this weird stuff that no one had imagined and I think that that is beyond AI.”
Sure, AI can generate decent poetry and essays, but as of now, the “weird stuff” can only be cultivated through genuine engagement. Of course, like Liu pointed out, most ideas may not be successful, but one would hope it’s worth the time to craft those skills.
The outright replacement of all human writing with ChatGPT-generated writing seems far from realistic and apocalyptic, but it raises an interesting question: What writing should we preserve? When we write emails using ChatGPT, that feels fundamentally different than using it to write an essay or even a text message. Where do we draw the line between important processes and unnecessary ones? Moreover, this inevitably leads us to ask: Why do we write? For its efficiency? The space it provides as a place to explore? Personal expression? There will always be people who care about writing. The craft is not lost, our brains are not going to be replaced by chatbots, but students and teachers will continue to grapple with the effects of AI. For now, the return of the blue book exam will serve as a space to preserve the many meandering, weird and very human mistakes that are becoming more and more scarce.
Vera Giraudo Guest Columnist
Image courtesy of Naomi Meyers ’27, Jordan Trinidad ’27.
Breaking News
From the desk of Josie Wenner, Humor Editor
Confused pervert sad to have missed lick-or-feet last week: “What the hell is trick-or-treat?”
President Bradley
It’s that time of year when ambitious students want to make their mark on campus: fall! Before the oncoming encroach of winter break bribes them into docility with the promise of a month off, bright-eyed Brewers continue to dream of gathering up all their friends in Rocky (or even Olmsted) to talk about god-knows-what for two hours, and then being able to wax about it in their grad school essays.
Recently, however, the College has begun to crack down on some superfluous clubs. They claim that with rising tension in the U.S.A thanks to the recent inauguration of Kamila Garcia—recently acknowledged as the “World’s Perfect Person,” and a candidate for the next Pope—as the 48th President, it’s high time for more rigorous standards on what can be an “Official Organization.” At least, that’s what they say. Operatives within The Miscellany News who were able to sneak into Freshmen Orientation Week and report back with their GPAs intact have other theories. While we’ve had suspicions since the beginning of the semester, it’s only now, after fall break, that the evidence has become so great we feel there’s no way we can be wrong.
On Sept. 4 at 10:00 p.m., a procession of robed figures were seen ambling their way (in true Vassar fashion, with their headphones on and staring at the side-walk) to the President’s House, where they each deposited their headphones and robes in
claims innocence in fiery orb
marked boxes before entering. While we could not identify these figures, the large sign-post outside of the President’s House with the message “9/4 Board of Trustees meeting HERE at 10:00 p.m.” provides a clue to their identity. This meeting was not announced to the VSA President or the Faculty Observer.
Shortly after the last figure entered, black smoke began to appear above the President’s House and formed into a glowing black orb, emitting dark smoke with white, tendril-like tips. After five minutes of pulsing and growing (while the sounds of ominous chanting could be heard), the Orb became red and fiery-tipped, before flying around Main House, drenching the building with fire. At this point, our operatives at a distance could not report anything of use, being blinded by the Orb, but we were able to glean very useful information from Fizz posts:
“CRUSH: That weird black fiery orb outside my window,” said one Fizz post, with several other comments admitting that while they did not appreciate being woken up in the middle of the night to listen to the arcane secrets of the universe, they appreciated the warm and seemingly romantic comforts of the Orb as it bathed them in flame and elevated their minds to a higher consciousness“While I am incredibly sick and tired of having to hear about this new Book Club, or Synologic Sorcerers, I forget its name, I would never send a 40-meter-in-diameter ball of blazing fire after VSA students to punish them with nightmares
about their deepest anxieties to prevent it. I don’t think I even know how to do that,” said President Bradley during a recent tea hour with a Misc reporter. When asked about a book (shoved rather hastily into her bookshelf) titled “How to Summon Nightmarish Orbs to Torment College Students,” the President denied any awareness of the book, before offering a drink to the student from a bottle labeled “Forgetting Juice.”
“It’s not like I have anything against the VSA, but we really need to get those Organizations under control. So I’m not really against the black fire Orb, all things in consideration. Sometimes things like these are a necessary evil. And it’s not like anyone was really hurt. I’m sure we—I mean, the people who created that thing—certainly wouldn’t let it stay around for more than a few days or so.” When asked about the headphones and cult-like robe she was wearing, the President declined to comment.
Our final piece of evidence for the case lies in a strange deal the President made near the end of this meeting: a guaranteed 4.0 GPA in return for the student’s silence on this matter, which was only broken after we promised to include that the student in no way believes that the appearance of the orb has anything to do with the VSA or the Board of Trustees, nor their sudden lack of attendance in any of their classes. However, it may be important to note that all attempts of VSA members to personally talk to the President or any Trustee have caused the Orb to turn its red-black gaze upon them, inundating their soul with the nonexistent
fire of the void between worlds before returning them to their incinerated dormitories, in an effect commonly compared to if radio silence was conceptually inverted and then submerged, along with one’s mind, to the bottom of the Challenger Deep. In light of this terrifying analogy, and because the evidence clearly indicates the Board has nothing to do with the sudden appearance of the ominous, all-consuming Sentient Living Orb of Frostbitten Black Fire looming over my shoulder, we at The Miscellany News officially declare it closed.
Evan Seker
Orb Orator
Wren Buehler/The Miscellany News.
HUMOR
EA announces new game: The Sims 4 Discover Vassar
Emma daRosa Plumbob Squarepants
After announcing their agreement to be acquired by Saudi Arabia’s sovereign wealth fund and Jared Kushner’s Affinity Partners, gaming industry giant Electronic Arts (EA) has experienced a shocking 13 percent dip in sales for Q2. Some of the most famous members of “The Sims 4” Creator Network have left since the deal was announced, citing their moral qualms with the Saudi Arabian government and Jared Kushner (Donald Trump’s son-in-law). These creators represent a major source of advertisement for the company. Each time “The Sims 4” releases new DLC content, members of the creator network release a barrage of content encouraging their millions of followers to cough up upwards of forty dollars to access exciting and critical features such as vacuuming, acne and having sex in the open ocean!
EA has been scrambling for ideas to help them recoup the cost of having the moral backbone of a chocolate éclair. One such effort has come in the form of a brand new expansion pack: The Sims 4: Discover Vassar. A most natural sequel to “The Sims 4: Discover University,” “The Sims 4”: Discover Vassar (TS4DV) will add all kinds of createa-sim, build mode and gameplay features. Players can immerse themselves in the world of Poughkeepsie, NY and become the Rich Horowitz they’ve always dreamed of as they select the perfect dorms for their gay son and thought daughter Sims to reside in. Before move-in day, players can get their Sims ready with a plethora of new create-asim options! There’s no shortage of clogs and messenger bags to force upon your digital friends. In an interview with The Miscellany News, a spokesperson for EA advised us that players can get ready for more options than ever before. “Oh yeah, it’s gonna be great. At least six different haircuts: wolf cuts, micro bangs, fuck-ass bobs, all available in blue of course. Countless woke pronoun pins. I mean, I don’t even recognize these pronouns, that’s how woke we still are. Every stupi… I mean, every super fun lefty out there should know, EA still cares about your pronouns! There’s nothing to worry about, just buy the game!” Players should also be prepared for some more unusual items for their Sims to
don, including but not limited to books of feminist literature to be held as accessories, matcha lattes that your Sim doesn’t really like drinking and a poor quality fake ID that your Sims can try their luck with at the new My Market rabbit hole lot!
Get ready for more than just playing dressup! TS4DV adds in every build/buy mode item that a Simmer could ask for! Deck out your coffin single with piles of untouched textbooks and fairy lights that will fall on your Sim in the middle of the night. A huge amount of new clutter items have been made as well. No longer will players have to suffer without Deece plates, bowls and mugs to scatter around their Sims’ dorms, or leave any surfaces free from complimentary banana flavored dental dams. Every single bookshelf comes with an untouched copy of your Sims’ class required reading (the Sims adamantly insist that one day they will read The Disordered Cosmos and they feel weird getting rid of it, there’s nothing you can do).
So what are your Sims supposed to do all day anyway? Never fear, there’s no shortage of activities! Your Sims can have fun with one of the hundreds of new interactions being added to the game. Worried your Sim is getting too tired? Have them pretend to be sick so they don’t have to go to the three acapella concerts, five student theatre productions, one improv show and two sex-positive strip bingo events taking place over one weekend that they promised people they would go to. They’ll experience an orgasmic feeling of relief followed by a crushing guilt six hours later for being a bad friend and not getting anything productive done during their rest time. Sims fighting with each other? No longer do you need to drown one of them! Sims can participate in a restorative circle to restore relationships hosted by the new non-player character (NPC), Dean Louis! If your Sim is getting desperate to eat outside of the Deece (too many days in a row of soda-braised pork will cause a negative moodlet) they are always welcome to attend dinner at President and Brohn Jadley’s on-campus house. These dinners let Sims meet people who they want to network with but who have a secret weird side, like Bella Goth or self-centered non-profit directors! Sim looking to get out of the Vassar bubble altogether? Too bad! Once you start playing The Sims 4: Discover
Vassar, your Sim is stuck at Vassar until they can convince their father that getting a degree in Women, Feminist, and Queer Studiesn isn’t useless or a waste of money. Finally, the element of challenge that players have long complained is lacking from the Sims 4! The Misc was lucky enough to be made privy to one final special feature, and NDA be damned, we’re going to share it with our beloved readers! If your Sims spend enough hours daydreaming that a genocide isn’t currently happening (another new feature coming with the pack), they unlock the ability to stop getting a “disgusted” moodlet when they see Vassar administrators allowing mem-
Image courtesy of Tait Tavolacci ’27.
bers of the United States military to research quantum computing on campus. How cool! Of this feature, Jared Kushner told The Misc: “We literally cannot see a world where people don’t think we’re super woke and awesome after releasing this pack. I mean, even I think that quantum computer thing was crazy for Vassar. I think we’ll have Q3 in the bag with this one.”
Will TS4DV be the golden goose EA has been searching for? There’s no way to know. Well, I guess eventually we will know. For now though, all we know for certain is that they don’t know and we don’t know but when we know we will let you know. Sul sul!
Sinkhole swallows Noyes Circle
On Saturday, Nov. 1, the Vassar Student Association (VSA) hosted its annual Halloween Tent on Noyes Circle. The event was a success, with hundreds of students revelling in the Tent’s bright expanses. Esoteric, funny-but-also-hot costumes were visible as far as the eye could see. One junior, who was chicly dressed as the unicorn from the medieval Unicorn Tapestries, told reporters, “That was probably the best night of my life. Ever since I was a little girl, I have dreamed of awkwardly standing next to every acquaintance I have ever known. In the Tent, I was able to do that while indecipherable, lyricless music played!”
However, the roaring success of the event was soon overshadowed by an unforeseeable tragedy. It appears as though this year’s Halloween festivities were the final straw for the oft-abused earth of the Nircle. During the afternoon of Nov. 2, students began to notice the desecrated lawn quivering slightly. While most assumed that these were mere aftershocks from the New Jersey earthquake
of April 2024, Campus Safety nonetheless put out a notice for all community members to stay away from the area. And then, as the sun set that evening, the unthinkable happened: the Nircle collapsed. A sinkhole soon consumed the entirety of the ground beneath the Tent, leaving only a gaping abyss.
In a huge win for posterity, Art History major Kyle Watersworth ’28 was perched in his Noyes House window seat, scribbling in his Louise Carmen journal, when the tragedy struck. His words are the only living record of the very moment in which the Nircle fell. In a scrawling, black-ink script, Watersworth wrote, “The undulating green earth writhed like the frothing sea. In one singular, shining instant, all became none. The pit consumed.”
The New York Department of Supernatural Land Activities provided a comment to The Miscellany News via email: “With the sheer amount of Depop vintage boots walking across that lawn, an incident like this was bound to occur. We are monitoring the situation closely.”
Vassar College’s Ultimate Frisbee team was particularly inconvenienced by the appearance of the sinkhole. With their practices dis-
placed, they were forced to compete for highly-coveted space on the quad. However, after being hit by one too many satchel bags, team member Lester Johnson ’26 was determined to remedy this slight. In the dead of night, he ventured to the closed-off Nircle and set out to investigate the vanquished land mass.
“I couldn’t stand it,” Johnson told reporters from The Miscellany News. “Nothing felt right anymore. It was like Vassar’s whole center of gravity was missing.”
While searching for answers, Johnson drew increasingly closer to the vast sinkhole. He described how, upon entering the entity’s magnetic field, he suddenly lost his footing and fell into the gaping cavity. “I really thought that was the end,” he said.
However, when Johnson opened his eyes, it was as though he had never fallen at all. He emerged into a world that looked exactly like the one he had left.
Annoyed and slightly confused, he went back to bed. It was only upon waking the next morning for breakfast that Johnson realized something was amiss. “The straight side and the gay side of the Deece were flipped,” he said. “That was how I knew something was
totally wrong.’”
Johnson promptly searched the entire campus, taking note of the inconsistencies. Examples included: the Retreat open on the weekends, raging parties at the THs, an effective campus smoking ban and students who called the Deece “the Gord.”
After a full day of this strangeness, a disturbed Johnson trekked back to the Nircle, hoping to return home. This time, he jumped into the sinkhole voluntarily.
“I came back here and immediately posted on Fizz,” Johnson stated. “I was extremely concerned about the possibility of a multiverse of Vassars, and I wanted to make the community aware.”
As of publishing, the College has yet to confirm or deny Johnson’s findings. While access to the Nircle remains restricted, some students have still claimed to visit the rumored alternate Vassar. Louisa Clark ’29 told The Miscellany News that she had actually found a boyfriend after spending the day in the sinkhole, stating, “He is a business major on the football team. I was so worried I would never meet anyone like him at Vassar!”
This is a developing story.
Allison Lowe
Sink, sank, sunk
ARIES March 21 | April 19
HOROSCOPES
Emma daRosa Cause of Death Predictor
Heart attack at a CPR class because you get so anxious that your mannequin is gonna die and the instructor is hovering over your shoulder. Everyone thinks you’re faking the heart attack.
LIBRA Sept. 23 | Oct. 22
TAURUS April 20 | May 20
Trying to smuggle a Bath & Body Works body spray in your butthole through TSA but it explodes and fills your bloodstream with Winter Candy Apple.
GEMINI May 21 | June 20
Invite an enemy for milkshakes but put poison whipped cream on theirs. They insist you drink it because you love whipped cream and you die realizing they loved you all along.
CANCER June 21 | July 22
Get bit by a bat but don’t go to the hospital because you don’t want to tell them it happened while you were trying to teach a bat to fetch your vape. #rabies
LEO July 23 | Aug. 22
Delete Instagram and feel better than everyone for walking with your head up, but you miss an open manhole and fall right in. Should’ve been looking down at Instagram!
VIRGO Aug. 23 | Sept. 22
Play senior assassin and get squirted in the eye with a water gun so you rub your eyes to get the water out but oops! You had instant death disease on your hands and forgot to wash them.
SCORPIO Oct. 23 | Nov. 21
Chug an entire bottle of Pink Whitney and fall into a shallow puddle, then drown because you’re way too drunk to roll over or to realize you’re face down in a shallow puddle.
SAGITTARIUS Nov. 22 | Dec. 21
Pee in a toilet at the same time as five of your friends but miss the bowl. Run away so you don’t have to clean it up but forget to look both ways and get run over by PB on skates.
CAPRICORN Dec. 22 | Jan. 19
Get appendicitis but don’t tell anyone or go to the hospital because the last time you thought you had appendicitis you were just gassy and it was really embarrassing.
AQUARIUS Jan. 20 | Feb. 18
Get an anvil dropped on your head. Where are you walking where there’s an anvil being kept above your head???
Agree to a Red Lobster date and neglect to mention your shellfish allergy because the other person is the only person you’ve ever met who’s into Great British Baking Show roleplay.
PISCES Feb. 19 | March 20
Fall into a pool with no ladder but you’ve been hypnotized to believe you are a “Sims 2” character, and therefore cannot get out of the pool without a ladder.
Hyper individualism is destroying American life
Ines Rozzo Guest Columnist
When I wake up in the morning and open any social media platform, I am often bombarded with dozens of videos about self-care, enjoying nights in and recommendations on how to prioritize oneself. Walking around campus, I will hear phrases everywhere, like: “I’m protecting my peace,” “I need a self-care night,” or “I’m just setting boundaries.” Do not get me wrong—these are healthy and sometimes even necessary practices. College is stressful, and burnout is real. But recently, I have started to feel like “selfcare” has transformed into an excuse for disappearing from our friends, from our communities and even from our responsibilities.
America has a loneliness problem. Not just in an everyday sense—people eating alone or doomscrolling on their phones until 3 a.m.—but in a deeper, moral sense as well. We have constructed a culture where independence is sacred, where “self-care” is a lifestyle and where we establish “boundaries” with a badge of honor. Yet behind this language of empowerment and wellness is something darker: isolation, selfishness and an epidemic of disengagement.
In many cultures—Hispanic, Mediterranean, Asian and African—the center of gravity is family and community. Life revolves around shared meals, mutual care and an understanding that your well-being is bound to the well-being of others. To be human, in those societies, is to be surrounded by other people.
But in the United States, we treat dependence as failure. We valorize the self-made man, the lone entrepreneur and the strong individual who “needs no one.” Our social media preaches “protect your peace” and “don’t pour from an empty cup,” as if friendship is transactional and community a burden. We have rebranded detachment as strength.
Of course, boundaries, mental health and self-care matter. However, these concepts are meant to help people heal, not hide. Somewhere along the way, we stopped distinguishing between self-respect and selfishness. Canceling plans became “honoring our energy,” ghosting a friend became “setting boundaries” and saying “I’m tired” became a moral justification for disappearing from people who count on us.
Real friendship is not built on comfort; it is built on sacrifice. It is about showing up even when you are tired, listening when you would rather talk and offering support when things get hard. Love—whether it be in friendship, family or community—requires inconvenience. It asks us to be present even if we would rather retreat into our curated bubbles of rest and self-optimization.
The obsession with comfort does not just stop at our personal lives. It is reshaping politics, too. The same mindset that thinks “I have to look out for myself” also says “Why should I pay taxes for someone else’s healthcare?” The same reluctance to sacrifice for friends translates into a reluctance to support
social programs for strangers. Hyper-individualism breeds apathy, and apathy is poison to democracy.
When Americans vote against universal childcare or resist affordable housing in their neighborhoods, it is often framed as fiscal conservatism or personal responsibility. But beneath that rhetoric lies a belief that community is not our problem—that suffering is individual, not collective and that everyone should simply “take care of themselves.”
This mindset is not sustainable. A society built entirely on self-interest eventually collapses under its own loneliness. We were not meant to live this way: trapped in echo chambers of self-protection, mistaking independence for wholeness. The pandemic exposed this truth brutally. When isolation became mandatory, millions realized how fragile our social fabric had become. We did not just miss people; we forgot how to need them.
The irony is that true growth, resilience and happiness does not come from constant self-focus, they come from shared struggle. Every meaningful experience in life requires friction: raising children, maintaining friendships, learning a skill and fighting for justice. Struggle is not the enemy; it is the crucible of character. Yet America has built and sustained an entire economy, and ideology, on the promise of never having to struggle.
We live in an age where comfort has become a religion. Our homes are climate-controlled, our meals delivered and our interac-
tions filtered through screens. But comfort breeds complacency. When everything is easy, nothing feels meaningful. Laziness is being repackaged as “self-awareness,” and our culture rewards retreat over resilience. We tell ourselves that self-prioritization is empowerment. But if everyone only takes care of themselves, who is left to take care of the community?
The solution is not to abandon self-care— it is to redefine it. Taking care of yourself should make you more capable of showing up for others, not less. Rest should be preparation for participation, not avoidance of it. Boundaries should protect our relationships, not replace them.
We can learn something from cultures that place community at the center of life. In many Hispanic families, for example, care is reciprocal: You give and receive, you sacrifice and are supported. Love is not measured by how much space you claim, but how much space you make for others.
America does not need less self-awareness—it needs more shared awareness. The truth is simple: We thrive together or not at all.
Real freedom is not freedom from others. It is the freedom that comes through connection: the freedom to love, to struggle and to belong. We can only heal the loneliness of this country when we remember that life’s richest meaning comes not from protecting our peace, but from participating in the messy, exhausting and beautiful project of being human together.
Unpacking the politics of celebrity book clubs
was later reviewed by Kirkus Book Reviews
prior to entering the store.
In its nascent years, Oprah’s Book Club was a joke. Her picks were likened to a feminine audience, ignored by highbrow literary communities and occasionally deemed “chick lit.” People were not addicted and enthralled by celebrity book picks in the way they are now. There was no Reese’s Book Club table at Barnes & Noble. Sarah Jessica Parker had yet to start her own book club after “Sex and the City’s” anguishing end. Yet every novel on Oprah’s book list becomes a bestseller—which is not surprising considering there are over 80,000 registered readers, and presumably tens of thousands more. Her choices automatically inflate author platforms and almost always lead to national publicity. For better or worse, Oprah’s Book Club became the archetype for the “Celebrity Book Club.”
I will not ignore the obvious benefits that are offered to debut authors, authors of marginalized groups and women’s fiction due to celebrity endorsements. For example, the ubiquitous Reese’s Book Club mission statement is as follows: “We consciously curate books that celebrate the stories and autonomy of women, championing voices and platforming authors too often overlooked.” Picks such as “Eleanor Oliphant Is Completely Fine,” “Little Fires Everywhere,” “Yellowface” and “Seven Days in June” illuminated unique feminine experiences, engaged with politically charged material, and uplifted female voices that are real, flawed and sometimes controversial. “Yellowface” by R.F. Kung is a prime example of a book with a flawed protagonist that was sponsored by several celebrity book clubs. Debut authors receive praise because of celebrity platforms and book clubs. Reese’s September Pick, “To the Moon and Back” by Eliana Ramage, is the recent example of these debut praises—it
Mindy’s Book Studio, Read with Jenna, Service 95 Book Club (Dua Lipa), Between Two Books (Florence Welch of “Florence and the Machine”), Library Science (by Kaia Gerber) and many more are among the top celebrity book clubs today. It is not surprising that these picks become widespread: They are calculated, voice-driven picks intended to cater to the demographic of the celebrity’s fan base. And all Kaia Gerber has to do is post on social media a couple of times, holding the newest pick, in a baby tee, matcha in hand.
The consequences of celebrity book clubs lie in reader autonomy. Who decides what we should be reading and why? Who decides what stories, what voices, should be illuminated to this level of potency? Should there be criteria for book club hosts if there are to didactically determine the next “The Secret History”? Brand extensions are inherent in nearly every celebrity book club. Reese Witherspoon cannot read every single pick. Instead, Witherspoon becomes the surrogate for the pick.
The formula behind this mimicry is simple. People want to feel closer to celebrities. They want to be like them. What better way to do that than to read exactly what they claim to have just read and loved so much! This sentiment is inherent in Jenna Bush Hager’s “Read with Jenna.” Celebrity book clubs offer an invitation to the lowly patron, and people snatch it right up. And the cunning marketing of these strategies is omnipresent in bookstores. At Barnes & Noble, for example, books actually have stickers that say “Oprah’s Book Club Pick,” “Read with Jenna,” etc., in order to convince readers that this pick will be their next favorite. I worked in Barnes & Noble, and rarely did I see customers coming in to browse. The art of browsing is decreasing in favor of knowing exactly what it is that you want to read
Reader autonomy decreases when figures of power distort and select what is worth reading.
There have been countless controversies over the last two decades related to author deceit, the most notable being “Hillbilly Elegy” by J.D. Vance and “American Dirt” by Jeanine Cummings. The latter of which was Oprah’s Book Pick in 2018. The author’s racial background was convoluted in a way that maximized praise of the book, one that tells the story of an immigrant family, when the author is not an immigrant herself. Highlighting a book like this takes away from true immigrant stories, told by immigrant authors. The Washington Post and The New York Times picked up on this story, essentially slandering the book despite its presence as a recent pick. Unsurprisingly, sales only continue to go up.
Lastly, it is not shocking that nearly all celebrity book club picks come from the top five publishers. Nearly all of Reese Witherspoon’s picks come from the HarperCollins’ imprint William Morrow. Simon and Schuster is constantly offering book picks to Oprah’s list. There seems to be some undercover alliance between the two forces, one that is dedicated to optimizing output. Reader autonomy decreases when figures of power distort and select what is worth reading. Celebrities decide which backlist titles are worth our time, they determine our bookshelves and what points of view are special—and many times what become adapted to TV or film. Do people know how to pick out books for themselves? Must we follow a
pattern of trends rather than discovery? While it would be naive to completely disregard celebrity book clubs from society and from readers, there is an opportunity for awareness to grow in readerships about what books they are picking for themselves There is no such thing as the perfect book, but there is such a thing as a book perfect for you. If readerships could isolate themselves from the illusion of celebrity mimicry, the types of authors and stories read might very well become more widespread and interesting. Readers deserve to act within their own agency to decide what they deem worthy of reading.
It is not surprising that these picks become widespread: They are calculated, voice-driven picks intended to cater to the demographic of the celebrity’s fan base.
I would like to propose a simple analogy to illustrate this illusion of deflating agency. Professors and critical thinkers alike are set on emphasizing the debilitating nature of artificial intelligence (AI) on the intellectual mind. Upon using AI, the mind will slowly forget how to do simple things on its own: generate cover letters, plan vacations—you get the gist. Celebrity book clubs strip away reader autonomy in a similar way by deciding what is best for everyone. I urge readers to start their own book clubs, ones that are motivated by what everyone there is interested in reading, to strengthen the originality needed to maintain an independent readership.
Emma Goss Guest Columnist
Letter to the Editor: Clearance of trees calls for transparency
Last week, more than a dozen trees were felled near Rose B. Simpson’s “Seed” sculpture on the northwestern edge of campus. Three of the trees were diseased, but the morning of the removal the plan inexplicably expanded to include nearly a dozen more mature, healthy trees, as well as a still unknown number of specimens elsewhere across campus. The sculpture, the first by an Indigenous artist on Vassar College’s campus, was sited in the northwest corner to be within a more natural, wooded area, which the clearing disrupts. As a result of the clearance, students have become increasingly concerned about the Grounds Department’s other upcoming actions. Multiple students have reached out to Vassar Student Association (VSA) Sustainability Executive Genevieve Reoch ‘27 about other plans from Grounds. Grounds has not officially released most of these plans, and we therefore feel it is important to inform the community about what is happening behind the scenes.
The Grounds Department, which oversees landscaping and outdoor maintenance at Vassar, had intended to clear the understory along the Casperkill, including both sides by the Terrace Apartments and Wimpfheimer Nursery Center. This would have demolished the riparian buffer, the mitigative strip of trees and herbaceous plants alongside the stream, which helps to prevent erosion, flooding and toxic runoff into the water system.
Though nominally intended to prevent the takeover of the invasive porcelainberry, the mechanical clearance of the space would have been indiscriminate and likely would have led to the eventual death
of the trees along the creek. In place of understory, Grounds planned that grass would be seeded and the area mowed, adding to their already extensive lawn maintenance load. Thanks to the efforts of concerned students, faculty and administration, the plan was postponed, and alternative maintenance strategies are being discussed by Grounds and the Arboretum Committee. The collaborative discussion currently in place is only due to increased clarity from the “Seed” tree clearance and suggests how much more productive a transparent grounds plan could be.
There have been discussions within Grounds about clearing upwards of forty trees around campus, including the Blodgett Hall beech and a few other iconic mature trees, purportedly due to their overhanging of roofs. Other trees that have been cleared recently, such as the declining pin oak by Gordon Commons, have been met by student frustration and confusion.
The fact that these claims have not publicly been confirmed only further underlines the need for greater transparency from Grounds. The lack of transparency extends beyond purely students—the co-chairs of the Arboretum Committee confirmed that they were until recently unaware of the majority of the upcoming plans, including the proposed clearance of the riparian buffer. Although there is, in theory, a process for routing clearance proposals through the Arboretum Committee, the process is not officially codified and has not been consistently followed. A formalized process that prioritizes informing both students and admin-
istration would likely alleviate many of the issues caused by the current system.
The uncertainty around tree clearances further stresses the importance of clear communication, as student anxieties could be alleviated by an upcoming projects list. Presently, students such as those who have been engaged in advocacy have been left without definite answers and have been ignored by officials within Grounds. Reoch confirmed that Grounds Manager Dean Jaeger had not responded to requests to meet or provided substantive information. Other students have also reported a similar lack of transparency from Grounds, which has made it more difficult to disseminate accurate information and reassure the student body about ongoing and planned projects. A lack of information makes it difficult for students to trust Grounds and conversely makes it more difficult for Grounds to undertake projects without student concern.
Other objects of student concern include the planned removal of the Rain Gardens between Sanders Classroom and New England Building, which could exacerbate flooding in the New England basement, as well as remove important habitat space on campus. Alternative plans, such as planting trees in the gardens to shade out invasive mugwort, seem more salient than converting them entirely to lawn. Further, there are concerns about herbicide use. Over 200 gallons of pesticides are used annually, and students have voiced concerns about the safety of lawns and mulched areas, where the majority of the herbicides are sprayed. While the Environmental Protection Agency notes that glyphosate is not known to be
highly carcinogenic in humans, students have still voiced hesitation about using spaces that are so flush with chemicals. Vassar’s arboretum is in crisis. A minimum of 396 tagged trees have been lost in the past five years. Of these, only about 15 percent have been replaced, according to data from Vassar’s Arborscope. When accounting for untagged trees, the amount lost is far higher, not to mention that the replacement trees are not mature.
Above all, it is difficult to address the concerns generated by the facts above, especially when there is no information about Grounds’ upcoming plans and very little inclusion of the student body in discussions around Vassar’s physical campus. For a space that is inhabited by and maintained, ostensibly, for the student body as a whole, there is precious little discussion that includes students. Conversely, it is more difficult for students to aid in the upkeep of the campus if they are left uninformed. Frustration at the prohibition of hammocks on most trees could have been mitigated had students been made aware that the prohibition was to prevent young or infirm trees from being damaged. It is our belief that just as Grounds has a responsibility to ensure that there are official processes and clearly communicated, concrete plans for upcoming major works, it is the responsibility of students to participate in and assist with the stewardship of this campus, which we all inhabit.
Sincerely,
Reave Finkel and Cormac Minarovich
People are going to revolt against AI
Ian Watanabe Assisstant Opinions Editor
Artificial intelligence (AI) is everywhere now. It is in the memes we scroll through on our social media feeds and it is the first in line to give us an answer when we google something. Companies have been forced to adopt it or become obsolete. I myself had a job interview last Friday, not with a human, but with a voiceover chatbot. “Thank you for that insight,” it told me blankly, after each response. At Vassar College, I think it is fair to say that the response to AI is largely negative. My philosophy major friends are disturbed at how advanced intelligence is no longer exclusive to humans. My economics friends are terrified at the prospect of losing entry-level jobs. You know when economics and philosophy majors agree on something, it is serious. This technology is creating rapid change in society, and that change is going to make many people angry.
The impact of AI on humans starts before the technology itself is fully online. AI requires the construction of massive data centers, the largest of which are as big as 17 football fields. While data centers have been around since the dawn of the internet, they have grown in both size and number with the amount of processing power that AI requires. In 2024, according to Pew Research Center, data centers in the United States consumed enough electricity to power the entire nation of Pakistan. This increase in power is not cheap, and costs are often put on the consumer. The average cost of elec-
tricity has been increasing by 13 percent since 2022.
Under President Trump, the government has taken a special interest in the AI industry, emphasizing that the technology must be allowed to develop without constraints. State governments make it easy for developers to build data centers by expediting permits. The idea is that these centers can create jobs and tax revenue, and overall be good for the local economy. According to Forbes, most of these new jobs are temporary construction ones. Many data centers need fewer than 10 employees, thanks to automation. Those who live near data centers do not benefit from job creation. In fact, they face great environmental hardship. A family interviewed by More Perfect Union who lived near a data center described not only higher electric bills, but also light pollution, dust from construction and a burden on clean water infrastructure. So, those who live near data centers do not get more jobs. But what about the benefits from AI technology itself? Major technological advancements always come with tradeoffs. Cars are highly pollutive and demand fuel expenses. However, people enjoy being able to go wherever they want, whenever they want; for drivers, the pros outweigh the cons. Does AI have a similar cost-benefit outcome? I do not think it does. What does AI do for us that the internet and computers do not already do? Sure, it gives us more detailed, compiled answers than a search engine, but those facts themselves are pulled from search engine sources, which can be faulty. Sure, it can generate personalized
answers to our math problems and essay prompts, but if you are using ChatGPT for your homework, you likely were not super passionate about the subject in the first place. Sure, it can give therapy to a user if a licensed therapist is not immediately on hand, but can we trust it with mental health? Some recent events, according to NPR, tell us no. All the services of AI seem to come with a drawback and are marginal compared to the great leap of the internet.
The true benefit of AI is for large businesses or people trying to manage infrastructure. Right now, the most immediate benefit is, to put it frankly, replacing jobs. According to Mo Gawdat, former chief business officer at Google X, AI in the long run can only improve until it takes up even managerial positions. 41 percent of employers are planning to scale down their workforces, and while 77 percent are trying to train their employees to work alongside AI, the software is constantly changing and improving. The elimination of jobs is happening slowly—sometimes unintentionally, sometimes not. At any rate, it makes sense for CEOs to embrace this change. If I ran a hedge fund and did not want to have to pay the graduates who trade the stocks, AI would save me thousands. Unfortunately, I do not run a hedge fund. AI is useful for the managers of businesses, but a threat to those who work under the managers.
Again, new technology always brings pros and cons when it becomes mainstream. But AI right now has somehow sidestepped all the pros while dumping enough cons on us to fill 17 football fields. AI wrecks the en-
vironment but creates few jobs and may, in fact, take them. It imposes high energy costs on the consumer while only making their lives marginally easier. AI’s greatest benefit is toward the American industries, which at present, are being highly deregulated by the federal government in areas of the environment and commerce. Without regulation, big businesses will always pursue the highest profit, even if that profit comes at the expense of consumers and workers. One could argue that this has always been the case, but AI will allow businesses to do this at a scale too large to ignore. The AI industry is moving fast and breaking things, and people are starting to take notice.
I promised in the title that there would be a “revolt” against AI, and it is manifesting as resentment toward machines. Around the summer of 2025, it became popular to use and create pretend slurs for robots. The term “clanker” crossed the internet barrier and was used by Arizona Senator Ruben Gallego back in June. Other instances involve people assaulting Uber Eats delivery robots in the streets. It is undeniable that AI has not been implemented well, and the cracks will continue to spread as long as the industry operates without people in mind. Regulation will be important moving forward. California recently passed SB-52, which grants protections for whistleblowers and forces AI developers to create plans against potential risks. Oregon passed HB-3546, which ensures that the data centers pay for the excess energy they consume. AI cannot be uninvented, but it should develop in ways that enhance our way of life, not threaten it.
Our goal with Brewers Ballin’ is to feature Vassar athletes who starred for their team the week previous to publishing. If you would like to nominate an athlete, please email hfrance@vassar.edu.
Brewers Ballin’: Women’s XC strides to 3rd straight league title Brewers Ballin’
Team: Women’s Cross Country
Stats: The No. 19 ranked Brewers clinched their third consecutive Liberty League Title with an emphatic victory on the campus of St. Lawrence University. As a result of their strong campaign, seven Brewers garnered All Liberty League honors: Haley Schoenegge ’27, Anika Mueller-Hickler ’26 and Adelaide Nyhan ’27 were named to the First Team; Acadia Helfand ’27 and Cayley Swaim ’27 earned Second Team honors; Chloe Bibula ’28 and Norah Reade ’27 were tabbed as Honorable Mentions.
Statement: Coach James McCowan: “It is very exciting to see the women win their third consecutive Liberty League Championship title. This isn’t normalour league is incredibly competitive in Cross Country and I’m super proud of the tenacity, grit and problem solving they have been demonstrating all season. We are looking forward to keeping it rolling and showing up big at the NCAA Mideast Regional on 11/15.”
Recently in Vassar Brewers sports
Women’s Soccer earns two Liberty League Awards
Gianna Panarelli ’27 was named Liberty League Offensive Performer of the week for the second straight week and Elena Valle ’29 was recognized as the Liberty League Rookie of the week for the second time this season.
Field Hockey’s Audrey Izzo ’29 garners Liberty League Rookie of the Week
With a game winning goal against SUNY New Paltz and a game winning assist against conference foe RPI, Izzo ’29 earned her first Liberty League honor of her career.
Women’s Squash Sweeps Liberty League Awards
Charlotte Tobin ‘28 was honored with her second straight Performer of the week award, improving to 3-0 on her sophomore campaign while Hope Fireison ’29 was named Rookie of the Week following her win at the No. 2 spot for the Brewers.
Image courtesy of Carlisle Stockton.
Coach Prime stares down fate at CU
David Bray Columnist
In 2025, we find ourselves in the third year of the Coach Prime experiment. Coach Prime—of course—being Deion Sanders, the NFL Hall of Famer and current head coach at the University of Colorado Boulder (CU). I call his tenure an experiment because it has been so up and down; there is no better way to describe it than as a test case for modern college football.
On Dec. 3, 2022, when Sanders was named the next head coach at Colorado, everyone in Boulder felt hopeful about the future. After nearly three decades with only a few bright spots, we finally had a coach who seemed poised to bring prominence back to the school. I grew up watching Colorado games, and the last one I attended before Prime’s arrival was a 21-63 blowout loss to Utah, emblematic of the general experience during that time period. The stadium was—at best—10 percent full of Colorado faithful by the end of the game.
The next fall, we sold out every single home game with ease. It was reported that in the fall of 2023, the Colorado football team brought in $113 million in economic impact to the Boulder community. Needless to say, I, and almost every other CU fan I know, am a massive supporter of Coach Prime and continue to be.
While Sanders has always been a flashy character, he is also deeply ethical and made it clear from day one that his main goal as head coach was to help the young men on his team grow as human beings, regardless of wins and losses. As a devout Christian who wears the initials “JC” on his sleeve every game, he has been adamant that his work is about something much larger than football.
In 2023, this commitment became even
more evident. After a hot start that included a win over the 2022 national runner-up Texas Christian University (TCU) and a 3-0 record, the team lost eight of its next nine games, finishing with a disappointing 4-8 record and missing bowl eligibility entirely in the final season of the Pac-12. Prime remained focused on the goal of shaping these young men into better humans regardless of game outcomes. Going into the fall of 2024, questions swirled about whether Sanders could right the ship and meet the expectations set by both the Boulder faithful and the wider college football world.
In their first year of Big 12 play, the Buffaloes finished the season 9-4, with a loss to Brigham Young University (BYU) in the Valero Alamo Bowl, arguably the most coveted non-College Football Playoff bowl game. The biggest reason for their success was the combination of Heisman Trophy winner and No. 2 overall draft pick Travis Hunter, who played both wide receiver and cornerback, and Sanders’ youngest son, Shedeur Sanders, who won the Johnny Unitas Golden Arm Award as quarterback. This duo carried much of the weight for that 2024 team and cemented Colorado’s resurgence under Coach Prime.
After losing both Hunter and Sanders in the 2025 NFL Draft, fans were left wondering how the coaching staff would replace those roles. Those questions about the quarterback were answered after a prolonged and highly scrutinized recruitment of five-star recruit Julian Lewis, where CU beat out the University of Southern California. After Lewis’ commitment, fans could finally breathe a sigh of relief, only to be surprised again by the signing of Liberty University fifth-year transfer Kaidon Salter, a dynamic dual-threat quarterback who had an award-winning career with the Lib-
erty Flames. Outside of those two, the team looked fundamentally sound and skilled, less reliant on clutch moments and more focused on solid, disciplined football.
Another offseason surprise was the announcement of Coach Prime’s summertime battle with bladder cancer. In a press conference filled with gratitude and faith, he spoke about the hardship and pain he had endured throughout the process. He had kept his condition under wraps from the team until the day before the announcement when he was able to share that the cancer was in remission. Though his life would be changed forever, he was ready to coach another season and make the most of his calling, regardless of the strenuous circumstances.
This season got off to a rocky start, with a seven-point loss to current No. 8 Georgia Tech in the AP Top 25. Kaidon Salter started at quarterback as the team chose to let Lewis develop for a year, and the rest of the squad showed flashes of greatness against a strong opponent. In Week 2 against Delaware, Coach Prime played three quarterbacks, starting with Salter, giving Lewis a few snaps and then playing Ryan Staub, longtime backup to Shedeur Sanders and a fan favorite. Staub played well, going 7-for10 for 157 yards and two touchdowns in the second half of the Buffs’ 31-7 win over the Blue Hens.
While Salter had played well enough through the first two starts, Staub showed he had that spark, and this left Coach Prime with a dilemma: Who should start in Week 3? Week 3 proved to be a test for the Buffs. With Staub as the starter, they opened Big 12 play down only two points at halftime in their first away game of the year. But things fell apart in the second half, resulting in a 36-20 loss against a solid, but not spectacular, Houston Cougars team.
The carousel continued the following week with Salter, now lacking some confidence and comfort as the starter, getting the nod again against Wyoming. He responded with over 300 yards passing and three touchdowns in a 37-20 win.
Ranked BYU was yet another major test against a Big 12 conference foe, one that had beaten them the year before, and convincingly, in both teams’ final games of the season. The Buffs kept it close, showing again they had what it takes to compete with one of the best teams in the country, currently ranked 18th in the AP poll. They came up short, though, losing 24-21. Dropping to 2-3, the Buffs already had as many regular-season losses as the year before.
On Saturday, Oct. 5, they played their sixth game against a TCU team that was 3-1, with its only loss coming at the hands of 21st-ranked Arizona State by a field goal. The team played well in the first half, going into halftime tied 14-14, but ended up losing by a score of 35-21 because of poor second-half play. With their next game against ranked Iowa State, the Buffs are left with the question: Do they hand the reins over to Lewis and allow him to prepare for a better year next year, or do they try to salvage the season and win out in what will be a Big 12 full of parity?
With Coach Prime at a crossroads regarding his team’s future, he may also be at a crossroads of his own. After signing a five-year, $54 million contract in March, one would hope he stays, but after the TCU game, he mentioned possible new clots in his legs, an issue that has plagued him for years and led to multiple leg surgeries and foot amputations. So the question remains: Will he end his Colorado coaching career early due to health and team issues, or will he continue to push to improve next year and give them another shot at a Big 12 title?
Betting scandal shakes NBA
OnTuesday, Oct. 21, the NBA enjoyed a dramatic opening night, with the Houston Rockets taking the Oklahoma City Thunder to a double-overtime thriller before eventually falling to the reigning MVP and world champion Shai Gilgeous-Alexander and company. After signing an 11-year, $76 billion deal with ESPN, NBC and Amazon, the NBA enters its 80th season with lofty expectations for competition and entertainment. While the opening week of play did not disappoint, the league’s competition was overshadowed by its biggest gambling scandal in decades, involving multiple indictments, federal agencies, mafia activity and illicit poker games.
In the eye of the storm is Portland Trail Blazers Head Coach Chauncey Billups and Miami Heat Guard Terry Rozier. The two well-known basketball names are involved in independent but connected ordeals, and were arrested on Thursday, Oct. 20, alongside about 30 other defendants involved in various gambling-related charges. Billups and Rozier have each been placed on leave from their respective teams.
The story starts in 2019 with the first cited poker games involving Billups and the Bonanno, Gambino and Genovese crime families. The group allegedly defrauded victims out of over $50,000 using rigged card shuffling machines. Over the course of the games cited, Billups and the Cosa Nostra crime families allegedly cheated gamblers
out of over $7 million.
In 2022, Rozier enters the frame. Investigators allege that in December 2022, Rozier began distributing nonpublic information about the details of basketball games in return for payment.
A man named Marves Fairley bridges the gap between Billups’ poker games and Rozier’s information leaking. In early 2023, indictments allege that Rozier informed co-defendant Deniro Laster that he would be prematurely removing himself from a game against the New Orleans Pelicans. Laster then allegedly sold this information to Fairley for hundreds of thousands of dollars of gambling winnings. Fairley also sold the information to a network of gamblers, prompting over $260,000 in wagers on various prop bets banking on Rozier underperforming in different statistical categories. This kind of anomalous behavior raises flags for investigators looking for unusual betting patterns. An individual NBA player prop will usually elicit $5,000 to $10,000 of gambling action, so outliers like Rozier’s are sure to attract investigators’ attention.
The situation itself is paradoxical, calling into question the relative value of money for high-earning professional athletes. Joseph Nocella, the top federal prosecutor for the Eastern District of New York, called the whole ordeal “one of the most brazen corruption schemes since online sports betting became widely legalized in the United States,” (AP). Billups and Rozier gambled with their careers and are suffering their consequences. Billups was inducted into
the Basketball Hall of Fame last year and made about $106 million over his 17-year career, and Rozier summed about $160 million over his time in the league, monumental sums compared to the money garnered from their alleged illicit gambling schemes.
The NBA has dealt with gambling scandals in the past, and in each instance, the punishment has been swift and severe. In the early 2000s, referee Tim Donaghey was caught fixing games. The disgraced referee would bet on games and sell inside information to the New York Cosa Nostra crime families about which team he was going to help win. Donaghey was sentenced to 15 months in prison, but the NBA wanted more. The league demanded that Donaghey reimburse them for the costs of his airfare, meals, complimentary game tickets and other expenses during his time as a referee. Commissioner David Stern then implemented sweeping changes to the NBA’s vetting process and monitoring of referees.
In another incident in 2024, Commissioner Adam Silver banned Toronto Raptors Forward-Center Jontay Porter for life for passing inside information to gamblers and for betting against his own team. This marked the first time a player was banned from the league for gambling since 1954. Again, the gambling scandal incited a wakeup call for the league: Adam Silver quickly implemented the “Jontay Porter Rule,” which forbade sportsbooks from including unders on player props who are on either two-way contracts or 10-day contracts.
As the NBA opens yet another dark chap-
ter where gambling and the game of basketball intersect, the case will become a landmark moment in how leagues, sportsbooks and regulators respond to corruption in a time of exploding access to betting. With online sports betting continuing to grow, the major sports leagues have integrated gambling directly into broadcasts and mobile apps, eroding the line between gambling and the game. The Billups and Rozier scandal is more than an isolated incident; it is a warning for every league navigating this new landscape. How Adam Silver and the NBA respond will set the tone for the future of integrity in professional sports.
Henry France & Casey McMenamin Sports Editors
Image courtesy of Erik Drost.
The Miscellany Minis
Can’t Compare #1
By Olivia Blank
ACROSS
1: “One ___ apple spoils the bunch”
4: What hair might do after being kept in braids for too long
7: Apple drink that can be served fresh or fermented
8: ___ Domingo
9: Prof’s helpers
DOWN
1: Stealthily keeps in the loop
2: Opera solo
3: “___ Want To Have To Do It”, Cass Elliot hit
5: Like a show with a fourth wall break, say
6: Apple products with advanced features
Answers to last week’s crossword:
Can’t Compare #2
By Olivia Blank
ACROSS
1: US gov’t agency that continued the work of the Manhattan Project
4: High-end Japanese beef
6: Some laptops
7: Singer Rapp
8: Winter hrs. at the Four Corners
DOWN
1: ___ Orange, tactical herbicide used in the Vietnam War
2: Brontë’s Jane
3: NY sch. whose mascot is Otto the Orange
4: Like the light that shines from a bulb with an orange tinge
5: Top-notch poker pair
The Miscellany Crossword
Autumnal Fun!
By: Ben Timberlake
ACROSS
1. 1. Analog recording
5. :(
10. Nuclear launch site
14. ___ in the oven
15. Containing unwanted interference
16. Actress Taylor-Joy
17. Factory seconds: Abbr.
18. Like donuts from Dubois or Fishkill Farms
20. Common opioid pain reliever
22. What Costco Rotisserie chickens are sold at
23. Reason for alarm in Raymond?
27. Sticky-note contents, when brainstorming
28. Quarantined
32. Elected prosecutors, for short
34. Bear or Storm King, e.g.: abbr.
35. Test taken by patients and suspects, abbr.
36. Dangerous gift, according to some knitters
40. Young record, with or without ‘moon’
43. Piece of flair in “Office Space”
44. Needed catching, as a refrigerator
46. “___ man walks into a bar ...”
47. Granada’s region
51. Hyped
55. It’s actually cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger, and clove
57. Lustrous fabric
60. Attend (as an ART-105 lecture)
61. Outcome for an egg, or what 5, 23, 36, 40, and
55-Across might contribute to
65. Place to dress for less
66. Common chip dip, informally
67. An old woman’s residence, in a nursery rhyme
68. “Night” Author Wiesel
69. “Me too!”
70. Zodiac transitions
71. Torch, or a synonym of 41-Down
DOWN
1. 1. Meditative martial art
2. Many juniors this semester
3. University with America’s oldest computer science department
4. 2025 Sublime single
5. Harebrained
6. Light urban motorbikes
7. Little taste
8. Lang. with unspoken rules?
9. Food hazard, according to a Kennedy
10. Crossed the seven seas
11. ___-European (linguistic family)
12. Alkaline cleaning compounds
13. Crew tools
19. Twenty-four, to a brewer
21. Where ___ (I got two turntables and a microphone)
24. On the cutting edge of fashion?
25. Swear word, or swearing-in words
26. Radius partners, in anatomy
29. ___ to Joy
30. Laptop keys near ctrls and alts
31. “Yo mama is so ___ ...”
33. Truth ___ (interrogation tool)
36. Relaxation spot
37. Dub, in slang
38. Wrap up
39. Vocal coarseness
41. Lampoon, or a synonym of 71-Across
42. Some who burn easily in the sun
45. Suffix with beat
48. Each
49. Moon goddess
50. Much recent online content
52. Traditional Mexican corn flour superfood
53. Search engine that funds tree-planting
54. Of equal volume but greater mass
56. Blue and White African rivers
57. Droops
58. Océano substance
59. Streetcar
62. Toe preceder
63. Seminoles in the NCAA’s D1
64. “Open wide” responses