Misc.09.25.25

The Miscellany News

Prof. Parsons talks pedagogy

Sydney Jones Assistant Features Editor

Visiting Professor of Philosophy Graham Parsons is no stranger to teaching in the Hudson Valley. Only now, his students are civilians. Prior to stepping onto Vassar’s campus in August, Parsons spent nearly 15 years teaching at the United States Military Academy at West Point. While there, he directed a course in philosophy and ethical reasoning that was required for all cadets, and he also taught electives related to nature, politics and Ancient Greek philosophy. His focus resided in the Departments of English and Philosophy, as well as the Department of Law and Philosophy. Parsons made the decision to resign from his position at West Point due to an administrative environment which he said had become “painful and toxic” in recent years. At Vassar, he plans to spend the 2025-2026 academic year bringing his insights on the intersections of politics, gender and ethics to our own Philosophy Department. This semester, he is already teaching two courses: PHIL 238: “Social and Political Philosophy” and PHIL 106: “Philosophy & Contemporary Issues” with an emphasis on modern warfare, which Parsons shared is one of his favorite research topics, as well as one heavily

See Parsons on page 8.

Professor lectures on West Bank

Julian Balsley News Editor

Israel’s colonization of the West Bank was the subject of a lecture last Monday, Sept. 15, by Israeli ethnographer Irus Braverman, a Professor of Law, Adjunct Professor of Geography and Research Professor at the Department of Research and Sustainability at the University at Buffalo, the State University of New York. The lecture, “Bad Samaritans: Settlers, Sheep, and Land Grabbing in the Israeli-Occupied West Bank,” was sponsored by the Geography and International Studies Departments.

For 23 months, Israel has undertaken a brutal assault on the Gaza Strip and the Palestinian people, killing over 65,000 Palestinians—83 percent of whom have been civilians. This official death toll of 65,000 may be an undercount of over 40 percent, for a total of over 90,000 Palestinians. Israel’s war on Gaza and its people has been named a genocide by multiple offices of the United Nations, multiple renowned human rights organizations, U.S. Senator Bernie Sanders and numerous other experts.

As Israel’s genocide against the Palestinian people of Gaza has intensified over the course of nearly two years, a settler colonialist project has been advancing in the West Bank, another Palestinian territory that has been under Israeli occupation since 1967. According to the newspaper Al Jazeera, there

See West Bank on page 3.

Brewers return for fall season

Henry France, Casey McMenamin

Sports Editor, Assistant Sports Editor

The 2024-2025 season marked a historic year for Vassar Athletics. The Athletics program finished 46th out of over 425 institutions in the Division III Learfield Directors’ Cup; the best result in school history placed the Brewers in the top 11 percent of hundreds of schools. Five teams won their respective conference championships, and seven teams advanced to their national championship tournaments. Last year was historic by all measures for Vassar Athletics. This year, the Brewers picked up right where they left off, with Fall sports teams earning wins across fields, courts and courses. Four Fall teams have earned national rankings. The women’s soccer team was most recently tabbed at 23 in the nation, the men’s soccer team peaked at 23 as well, and is currently receiving ranking votes. The women’s cross country team is cruising at the 15th spot, while the women’s rugby team sits steady atop Division II.

Women’s rugby

Coming off an undefeated 2024 season that consisted of 21 straight wins, the Brewers look to continue their success in this upcoming campaign. Starting the season with three straight victories, including a triumph over Fordham University by 114 (yes, 114!) points, the Brewers look poised to make an-

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Jackson Hrebin covers lecture by Steven Cash ‘84 on the state of American Democracy.

other deep run in 2025. The return of twotime All-American Sophia Bailey ’26 will be crucial to the squad’s success, as Bailey looks to carry a heavier load this season and top her 42 tries from 2024.

Men’s rugby

After a strong 9-1 season in 2024, the men’s rugby team has kept the momentum going in 2025. Averaging 63 points per game, the Brewers’ prolific offense has propelled the squad to a 3-1 start, with the only loss coming in heartbreaking fashion to Yale. On defense, the Brewers are just as determined, letting up just 13 points per game. If the Brewers can sustain this complementary style of play, they will be a formidable force come playoff time.

Women’s cross country

After claiming a Liberty League championship in 2024, the women’s cross country team is once again burning its competition. The squad has competed four times since opening their season at the Vassar Season Starter on the Farm on Friday, Aug. 29, where they finished second and just a point behind #4-ranked NYU. The Brewers’ effort was led by Adelaide Nyhan ’27, who finished first overall in the race with a time of 10:56.7 over the 3000-meter course. As competition grew over the coming weeks, the squad held steady, with three second-place finishes in a row to start the year. This most recent week-

See fall on page 17.

‘Creature features’ opens

“CreatureFeatures” is the title of the current show on display at the Palmer Gallery in Main Building— a survey of visual artist Sean McCarthy’s work across illustration, painting and comics.

“Creatures” is perhaps a vague word, but McCarthy’s works resist easy description. The figures he paints are monstrous hybrids of animals, full of drooping and bulging flesh, scales and fur; the syntax and form of biology have been taken to the extreme, far beyond our ability to categorize or even understand them.

In a gallery talk on Sept. 20, McCarthy spoke of a range of influences both including and transcending the art-historical canon. His earliest works on display, for example, are graphite-and-ink drawings of demons inspired by the 17th-century grimoire “The Lesser Key of Solomon.” Beyond simply playing to a fascination with the occult, the demon drawings are intricate and vibrantly imaginative, fragments of worlds unknown. The figures— “Andrealphalus,” a four-eyed, drooling donkey with the wings and feathers of a peacock, or “Uvall,” a wizened, twisted dromedary that peers from behind drooping eyelids— are more unsettling than scary. Drawn on paper that could fit in a notebook, they whisper rather than shout, full of detail

Isabel Holmes reflects on the fun and climate awareness of ‘Sun Day.’

that goes unappreciated from more than a few feet away. Other earlier works on display share the same visual language but to looser ends, recalling surrealist automatic drawings or the biomorphic abstractions of artists like Arshile Gorky.

Each of his paintings was conceived initially from a list of animal combinations— “mammal/fish/bird,” say, or “reptile/amphibian/insect”—and transfigured eventually into a singular being. The process is more reincorporation than assemblage, though—not a horse with the head of an eagle and the tail of a scorpion, but an eagle and a horse and a scorpion all thrown into a blender. The result is garbled, grotesque and yet entirely whole—each being with its own sense of itself, unique, strangely elegant. They peer at you from a distance, daring you to look back. They are by turns furry, scaled, fleshy and bulbous, with appendages, beaks and claws entirely out of proportion. These animals have been so wholly reconstituted that it is hard to figure out what went into them, leaving each as an individual, stripped of any history or reason for being, just there. The backgrounds of these paintings, when visible, are plain, flat deserts, leaving each work entirely self-contained. Nothing is to be seen but the monster, or sometimes multiple, as in “Drone Swarm,” where little lizard-fish attack a hulking, helpless musk ox-slash-scorpion,

See Creature on page 5.

Clara Alger analyzes the clog epidemic on Vassar’s campus.

Noah Duncan columnist

Julian Balsley/The Miscellany News.

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Israeli ethnographer lectures on West Bank settler colonialism

Continued from West Bank on page 1 are currently some 600,000 to 750,000 settlers living in at least 250 settlements and outposts throughout the West Bank. Israel’s formation of these settlements is in contravention of the Fourth Geneva Convention, which reads, “The Occupying Power shall not deport or transfer parts of its own civilian population into the territory it occupies.” In July 2025, the Israeli Parliament approved a symbolic measure calling for the West Bank’s annexation.

In her presentation, Braverman argued that since 2010, and especially since October 2023, Israeli settlers in the West Bank have used shepherding as a tool of rapid land seizure and dispossession of Palestinians in the West Bank. The most common image of illegal Israeli colonization in the West Bank is of built settlements: rows of prefabricated houses, curving suburban roads and swimming pools. Yet as Braverman stated, settlers grazing sheep across wide swaths of land have effectively dispossessed Palestinians of significantly more land than their construction of buildings and neighborhoods.

A December 2024 report by Peace Now and Kerem Navot found that settlers have seized 786,000 dunams, or about 195,000 acres, of West Bank land using shepherding outposts—14 percent of the entire territory. Per the report, 70 percent of all land seized by West Bank settlers has been through shepherding. Braverman described, “These attacks which have targeted not only Palestinians, but also their sheep, have been at least a decade in the making, and already resulted in the largest displacement of Palestinian communities from this space since 1967… Roughly 80 percent of the Palestinian communities in these areas have had to stop accessing their lands and their grazing practices.”

According to Braverman, the Israeli shep-

herds carrying out this massive land seizure see it as a major escalation in settler activity in the West Bank. Braverman quoted one shepherd whom she interviewed in the Jordan Valley as saying, “Jewish shepherding is the most important development in the Zionist settlement over the last decade. It is a revolution.”

Braverman sees this nascent colonization by sheep as part of “settler ecologies,” a term she coined in her 2023 book “Settling Nature: The Conservation Regime in Palestine-Israel.” “Backed by the State of Israel, such Jewish herding practices are a device for violently undermining and dispossessing Palestinian communities, on the one hand, and for re-indigenizing and resettling Jewish settlers in their place,” Braverman said. She added in an email to The Miscellany News, “On the other hand… The declared objective of the Jewish herding farms is to protect state lands. In practice, however, they are designed, I argue, to uproot Palestinian grazing farming communities from Area C of the West Bank and turn them into the hands of the settlers for their exclusive use.” In the 1990s, the Oslo Accords divided the West Bank into Areas A, B and C, each with different degrees of Palestinian and Israeli administration. Area C, which covers 60 percent of the West Bank, remains under full Israeli military and civilian control.

Settler dispossession of Palestinians in the West Bank is, according to Braverman, “directly and explicitly violent.” She showed a video during her presentation, made by the Israeli human rights organization B’Tselem, of settlers armed with assault rifles expelling Palestinian shepherds from their lands and scattering their flocks using ATVs, drones and motorcycles. Some are dressed in military fatigues. As Braverman explained, they are soldiers, many of them recently re-

turned from Gaza yet continuing to commit violence in military uniform with military weapons. One soldier says in Hebrew, “Fuck international law.”

A recent episode of the radio program “This American Life” about the West Bank included a vivid instance of a settler attack on Palestinian shepherds. A Palestinian man, Ali Awad, described four masked settlers armed with sticks and rocks threatening his uncle and aunt, then stealing their flock of about 300 sheep. Ali began recording the theft on his phone and pleading with the settlers, which distracted them enough for the sheep to run, on their own, back home.

As Braverman explained, Israeli shepherds see themselves as reconnecting with the ancient Israelites, who were also shepherds, while simultaneously redeeming the Promised Land.

The spiritual valence of the settler colonial project creates what Braverman called “sheepwashing”: “By reclaiming ancient pastoral practices from their biblical forefathers, the settlers come to imagine themselves as the original Indigenous peoples in this land. Effectively, through shepherding, they transform into the old-new Indigenous people to whom this land was promised by God.” By email, Braverman added, “This ‘washing’ is also of Palestinian presence, undermining the position of Palestinians themselves as shepherds and pushing them out of Area C of the West Bank.”

Students who attended the talk related Braverman’s research to material in their classes. “Violence doesn’t have to be dropping bombs or shooting guns—I mean, they’re probably shooting guns as well,” said Cate Merriam ’28, who is taking Professor of Geography Joe Nevins’ “Geographies of Mass Violence” class. “It can also be just mass displacement and illegal settlement. Someone’s

presence can be violent, as opposed to ‘I’m going to murder you’ violent.”

Amritha Dewan ’28, a Geography major taking both “Geographies of Mass Violence” and Professor of Geography Yu Zhou’s “Spaces of Global Capitalism,” said of the talk, “It seemed really interesting and relevant to a lot of the things that I’m learning in both of those classes, such as the way that space, and place and the landscape play a role in the politics, and the violence, and the changes and the human choices that play out on that landscape.”

Gracie Durgin ’28 connected the talk to a Native American Studies class she took last year. “A big thing that we talked about in the colonial process is the idea of becoming the Indigenous, or inheriting the indigeneity of the actual Indigenous people,” she said. “So I found in her talk that that is what is currently happening with Israelis in Palestine. I found that very interesting, and just how that is a common thread in colonial regimes.”

Students also expressed that Vassar should use more of its resources to bring experts and scholars on the Palestinian–Israeli conflict to the College. “I feel uneducated about the situation, and I would like to rectify that,” Durgin explained. “But I think it’s relatively hard to find academic discussion if that’s not happening in my classes, and if it’s not happening on campus, I find it relatively hard to find that out in the world. It’s mostly major news headings.” Dewan commented, “It’s really essential for us as students, not just to be learning what we’re learning in class and then go on with our day, but to see how it plays out and applies in the real world. I just think that being informed is really important, and when there are resources available to be informed about current events in a more academic, scholarly way, I think there’s no reason not to take advantage of it.”

Steven Cash ’84 delivers talk on state of American democracy

On Tuesday, Sept. 16, former senior national security official Steven Cash ’84 delivered a lecture, “National Security and the Future of American Democracy.” Cash’s talk focused on what he views as the recent backsliding of democracy and the repression of free speech under the Trump administration.

Throughout his career, Cash has held senior leadership positions within the Department of Homeland Security, at the Central Intelligence Agency and on Capitol Hill. Currently, Cash serves as the Executive Director of the Steady State, a non-profit advocacy organization composed of over 300 former national security officials, diplomats, journalists and scholars. Before Cash introduced himself to the large audience of students gathered in Rockefeller Hall 300, he described the tenor of his return to Vassar, noting, “I’m a little sad to come back here today…this isn’t fun. I’ll tell you right now, what I’m bringing to you tonight is going to be a bit grim.”

After explaining to the audience that he hoped his presentation would serve as a warning as well as a call to action, Cash described the unique historical position America finds itself in today, saying, “This is a moment in history that we may not have really seen since the year Main Building was built…1861.” Cash argued that America has not faced an existential threat to democracy as great as the Trump administration since the Civil War. “In some ways, that was the last time that the very fabric of the nation was called into question…that was the last time that people were not fighting on the game field of constitutional democracy,” explained Cash. “The system failed and we solved that problem by killing millions of people…That’s the closest we’ve been to where we are today.”

In addition to drawing comparisons to the Civil War, Cash likened the state of America’s current government to atrocities committed by foreign leaders. He referenced the regimes of Benito Mussolini, Adolf Hitler and Vladimir Putin, claiming that all of those leaders exercised power in a very similar way to how we are seeing Trump use his authority as president. Cash explained that most of his colleagues in the Steady State have spent their professional careers analyzing how governments transition to despotism. Cash noted, “[This transition begins when] a would-be autocrat takes over the security services and law enforcement services and turns them on political enemies…takes on the media…private industry, the legal system.” Recently, President Trump has been accused of threatening judges and lawyers, coercing media companies to cancel shows that challenge his administration and using the National Guard to suppress political protests.

Throughout his talk, Cash spoke bluntly about the future of American democracy. “We spend a lot of time looking at the indicators of incipient autocracy…and here’s the bad news, we’re seeing pretty much every single one of them right here in the United States, and they’re coming faster and with a greater intensity than we have ever seen anyplace else,” he said.

In his presentation, Cash described an insight that originated from his collaboration with other former intelligence officials at the Steady State: “If you took my organization and asked them to make a bet, they would say there’s a 50/50 chance that none of you in this room will vote again in a free and fair election, that we are done.”

In addition to highlighting the state of American politics, Cash spoke about the special power that students have to resist oppression and influence widespread, national change, noting: “Free effective colleges, universities and education are the kryptonite of

despots and autocrats. Why, because…you think critically, you ask questions, you are willing to take on authority.” He argued that Vassar’s culture and liberal arts curriculum make it uniquely qualified to counter authoritarianism: “If you’re facing the moment of crisis like the one I’m about to describe, you and I share something, this institution, which trained me and is training you to be equipped… You will remember what you learned in this building, I guarantee you, and it will make you really dangerous.”

Vassar students left the presentation with what they described as mixed and powerful feelings, with many feeling compelled to make their voices heard. After attending Cash’s lecture, Clarisse Gonzalez ’28 said, “It just fills me with a sense of urgency, like we should be doing something, and I think attending these talks, educating ourselves is very important right now.” Mayte Segura ’28, another student who attended the talk, said, “[Cash] actually reaffirmed changes I’ve already been trying to make, like looking into local organizations and also actively going to these conversations… I think it has pushed me. It’s made me more determined and given me more courage to, if there’s not a space for these conversations, make that space and make that time and find people who also want that.”

In an interview with The Miscellany News reporters, Cash explained, “This is all going to be about coalition building, alliances and communication.” In order to effectively resist further attempts to undermine democracy, Cash insisted, “[We must put] in the time and effort to engage with people who you may have spent the past three years fighting with… I think what is necessary as an opening premise is, ‘Do we all agree that it is necessary to preserve democracy in the United States…and are we willing to work together?’”

Cash elaborated on a term he repeatedly used throughout his lecture—“strange

bedfellows”—to describe the importance of finding common ground with unlikely allies. “The strange bedfellows are also students and faculty, and frankly, students and administrators… Seeing each other as allies and not adversaries is going to be essential,” explained Cash. Similarly, Teddy Golumbeski ’27 said, “[Students need to] see what you have in common with people that you would normally disagree with, because I think there’s a lot of fractioning of people who agree about 95 percent of stuff, and at this point we’re all just focused on the 5 percent. Paying attention to those similarities is one of the key ways out of the system that we have.”

Looking forward, Cash is focusing on the midterms, particularly the likelihood of another free and fair election taking place. He noted that the results of the midterms will have a profound effect on the statistical probability of whether or not American democracy survives. Cash, however, also recognized that this probability depends on the level of engagement amongst young voters: “[Trump is] counting on the younger voting sect…having the kind of reaction we saw in 2024 when many of that cohort didn’t vote or sort of saw no point in voting, and saw no difference between the candidates in the national elections and was very much distracted by specific issues, all of which were important, but made them not as much of a player in making a decision on what turned out to be a decision on whether we really wanted to be a democracy.”

When asked about the likelihood of reversing democratic backsliding in the 2026 midterms, Cash seemed skeptical, noting, “My guess is that the Trump administration is counting on the people I talked to last night [Vassar students] to be passive and ineffective.” Yet, throughout his lecture and interview, Cash repeatedly emphasized his belief that students are the most important weapon against authoritarianism.

Historian gives lecture on women’s role in medieval war

Cici Zhang Guest Reporter

On the evening of Wednesday, Sept. 17, students and faculty alike assembled in Rockefeller Hall 300 to attend this year’s C. Mildred Thompson Lecture, delivered by Clifford J. Rogers, a Professor of History at the United States Military Academy at West Point. In his lecture, Rogers, a preeminent scholar of medieval military history, challenged the concept that medieval warfare was exclusively a male endeavor.

Rogers explained how traditional scholars have not thoroughly addressed women’s activities either in relation to or involvement in medieval warfare. While popular representations of the Middle Ages tend to highlight knights and kings, Rogers asserted that women engaged in warfare during this time period in important ways just as much as men.

“Too often, the chroniclers who wrote our histories minimized or ignored women’s contributions,” Rogers said. “But the evidence shows that women defended castles, rallied soldiers and, in some cases, even led forces themselves.”

Rogers utilized chronicles and legal documents to illustrate how women blurred boundaries between the homefront and the battlefield. An example he mentioned is Matthew Paris’ 13th-century “Chronica Majora,” which describes women in England defending towns under siege by pouring

boiling oil from the battlements and transporting stones to reinforce fortifications.

The “Gesta Normannorum Ducum” offers a parallel account of noblewomen defending attacked castles by taking up arms alongside men. Furthermore, legal documents that hold records of property and warfare in France and England mark instances of noblewomen tasked with managing their estates in the absence of their husbands, organizing garrisons, raising troops and negotiating truces during the siege of their castles. These chronicles and legal documents, to Rogers, demonstrate how women took on duties and obligations beyond domestic responsibilities, contrary to much of the scholarship about this time period. Alongside active fighting, Rogers stressed the essential logistical support women provided during war. They traveled with armies as camp followers, tended to the wounded and helped sustain lengthy military campaigns. “If you think of a medieval army without women,” he stated, “you are not imagining the reality of how those armies survived in the field.”

Professor Nancy Bisaha, Professor of History and Director of Medieval and Renaissance Studies, stated that Rogers’ lecture connected directly to the work of teaching in the department. Bisaha recalled later in an interview with a Miscellany News reporter, “We typically propose speakers whose research and expertise correspond to subjects addressed in our own courses, with

the goal of expanding our learning and offering a shared experience to audience members beyond the Department and College. I proposed the idea of inviting Prof. Rogers to coincide with a new intensive course I am teaching called Women Warriors in the Middle Ages and Renaissance (HIST 206).”

The event was sponsored by the Vassar History Department, which brings prominent scholars to enhance students’ learning outside of the classroom. For example, last year, the College presented a retrospective conference on the Vietnam War. In particular, Rogers’ visit underscores Vassar’s connections with military and strategic history, which have continued to grow in scholarly importance. These connections can be found both in courses like Professor of History Robert Brigham’s “Military, War and Society,” as well as Vassar’s joint initiative with West Point.

For many students, the lecture highlighted how much there is still to be discovered in Middle Age history. “It made me really think about how much we don’t see when textbooks only talk about kings or generals,” said Jane Zhang ’29. “Seeing that women organized defenses or led troops also shows how history looks very different based on whose perspective you center.”

Other students felt that Rogers’ arguments captured the wider relevance of questioning accepted gender narratives. “It made me see how the assumptions we have

today about gender roles also influenced how chroniclers recorded history back then,” said Yonghan Chen ’29. “By going back to the sources, you see how women were central, not peripheral, to medieval warfare.”

In closing, Rogers urged the students to keep examining the assumptions that shape historical memory. “The past is never as simple as the stories we have been told,” he said. “When we examine the evidence we have, we not only get a clearer sense of warfare in the Middle Ages, we also get a clearer sense of how history itself is constructed.”

“The past is never as simple as the stories we have been told.”

The lecture ended with a generous round of applause and a gentle hum of conversation as students and faculty chatted quietly in small groups, reflecting on the lecture. Some remained at the podium to speak with Rogers directly, while others stood in the aisles talking about which examples surprised them the most. For many, that evening reinforced the complex nature of medieval history and the need to recover the voices that have been shunted to the outer edge.

Jackson Hrebin Guest Reporter

‘Creature Features’ features creatures

Continued from Creature on page 1

or “Reach,” where a white-woolen, winged, beaked creature gets its tusk caught by the tongue of a pig-goblin with giant, stumpy legs. They are highly textured: Flesh mounds and undulating, scaled protrusions are rendered in detailed ink work. The feeling here is of the naturalist’s illustration, the kind of thing you would see in a field guide or natural history textbook. McCarthy described his attentiveness to the physical nature of his pigments in acrylic, adding further to the creatures’ sense of life.

Pushed right up against the edges of their canvases, it is as if these creatures are caged by them, paraded in front of the viewer as oddities in a sideshow attraction. They feel part of the human tradition of natural conquest, of taxonomy, but they defy easy categorization. We have no idea what we are looking at. The creatures’ eyes jumped out to me, though— pleading, pondering, windows to some kind

of soul.

“Creature Features” also showcases some of McCarthy’s more recent work—the risograph-printed zine “The Novice” and its sequel, which take the visual language of his paintings and strip them down to contour lines and blocks of solid color. On display at the Palmer Gallery are some original blue-pencil sketches, evidence of the hand of the creator. “I like the work of the art to tell me something about its making,” McCarthy says. Pencil lines, evidence of the early process, are everywhere in his work.

Despite its subject matter, McCarthy’s work feels deeply human. These beings look back at us as reflections of ourselves, as things worthy of empathy and intersubjective understanding. They pose and bulge in submission, like elephants paraded in front of circus crowds. In “Introspection,” an acrylic painting in the back corner of the room, a fuzzy-alien-insectoid being with arms like ginger roots looks

blankly outwards, wilted in on itself, pondering. You wonder what it is thinking about, if its garbled existence makes more sense to itself than it does to us.

In his gallery talk, McCarthy described his fascination with the inherent tension of things that do not quite fit together, where the words we apply to our world fall flat. It is

hard to categorize or describe anything that McCarthy draws, except in vague hyphenated conglomerates or with words like “grotesque” or “creature.” In lieu of understanding, McCarthy just asks you to look, and to feel.

“Creature Features” will be on display at the Palmer Gallery in Main Building through Oct.12, 2025.

Penning a love letter to Lorde’s ‘Pure Heroine’

Lorde’s much-anticipated fourth album, “Virgin,” came out this summer, garnering lots of positive reviews. And while I loved the new album’s stark lyricism and minimalistic sound, I kept going back to her debut album from over a decade ago, released when Lorde was younger than I am.

To be completely honest, I was not always a Lorde fan. While my friends were obsessed with her in high school, I thought her music was too angsty. This summer, I changed my mind. I happened to find the “Pure Heroine” CD my mom bought years ago in my car, and as I listened to it again and again during long evening car rides, I realized I have been missing out. I discovered what the millions of people who already love this album presumably already know: It is incredibly good. Duh. More specifically, I no longer think the album is too angsty.

What it actually does is voice the idiosyncratic emotions of modern young adulthood painstakingly well: fragile nonchalance, irreverent earnestness and unexplainable yearning for something you cannot yet name. To me, “Pure Heroine” is an unfiltered account of the adolescent experience as it actually happens rather than what it is supposed to be.

The first song, “Tennis Court,” demon-

strates some of this emotional vulnerability. The verses contain vulnerable, poetic reflections, like “Pretty soon I’ll be gettin’ on my first plane / I’ll see the veins of my city like they do in space.” Then, the chorus is filled with brash and rebellious declarations like “It’s a new art form, showin’ people how little we care.” Lorde’s persona refuses to linger on one subject or emotion—life and thoughts move too quickly for that.

Another example is the chorus of the hit “Royals,” which begins with the proclamation “We’ll never be royals” and ends with Lorde instructing, or maybe pleading for us to “Let me be your ruler…Let me live that fantasy.” Lorde does not want to “fit in” and pretend not to not be alienated by much of the dominant pop culture around her, but she does want to belong somewhere. Through her deliberately contrasting lyrics, Lorde narrates the experience of navigating labels, cliques and self-identity in a fresh-feeling way.

One of my favorite parts of the album is that many of the songs speak from the perspective of a larger friend group, inviting the listener into a sense of camaraderie and group identity. For example, in “Team,” she sings, “We live in cities you’ll never see on-screen…And you know, we’re on each other’s team.” This beautifully portrays how the friend group is the dominant social unit of teenage life, despite sometimes being boring or drama-filled.

Of course, Lorde also gives more bittersweet emotions the same treatment. “Ribs” is filled with specific examples of these moments—feeling alone while surrounded by people having fun, or realizing that the memory of a happy moment will not compare to the reality while being in that

What it actually does is voice the idiosyncratic emotions of modern young adulthood painstakingly well: fragile nonchalance, irreverent earnestness and unexplainable yearning for something you cannot yet name. To me, “Pure Heroine” is an unfiltered account of the adolescent experience as it actually happens rather than what it is supposed to be.

moment.

I cannot pick a specific lyric because they are truly all so good. The world she sings about is consciously impermanent, but

still valuable and meaningful. In the last song, “A World Alone,” Lorde concludes by recognizing that the world of the album is impermanent, but still valuable and meaningful. She sings “I know we’re not everlasting” but still, “You’re my best friend and we’re dancing in the world alone.”

I do not just like this album because I think the music is relatable today. The album was clearly written in a cultural moment between the present-day media landscape of social media and individual algorithms, and what I imagine had to be a simpler time, when you did not have to decide whether to post an Instagram photo dump for the month. Media and pop culture definitely do have a presence in the album.

For example, in “Buzzcut Season,” which is probably my favorite song, Lorde contrasts watching faraway violence on TV to relaxing in a pool in a way that makes this everyday hypocrisy obvious without explicitly saying it. However, I think its distance from the present is why “Pure Heroine” stands out to me from its era: It creates an opportunity to reflect on the bittersweet past without transferring the shame of its awkward and cringe-inducing moments to the current moment.

Sometimes I feel like I should constantly be listening to new music and looking for the next new thing. This album reminded me that there is just as much meaning and beauty in the old.

Image courtesy of Makenna Brown ‘28.

Ashton Spralding guest columnist

Image courtesy of Makenna Brown ‘28.

Image courtesy of Makenna Brown ‘28.

Learning to free fall: ‘Sky Woman Women’

Skylar Spiro Guest columnist

Whenartist Dara Friedman ’90 strode in front of the Rosenwald Film Theater screen to introduce her documentary, “Sky Woman Women,” I thought I might be looking at the wrong person. This was no buttoned-up academic nor voice-over professional: Friedman was wearing an oversized black blazer and combat boots, with her kinky white-gray hair tied in an effortless knot at the top of her head. She looked not at the back of the room but at individual audience members when she spoke; I fought the urge to avert my eyes when she stared me down and began to talk about her piece.

Friedman went on to describe how, when working on a large-scale labyrinth installation in Buffalo, New York, she was deeply touched by the Indigenous people she encountered there. However, she remained perplexed by the dismissive stance the tribe held towards female storytellers, despite being a matrilineal society. Friedman heard mutterings of a Haudenosaunee (the name for the confederation of the Mohawk, Oneida, Onondaga, Cayuga, Seneca and Tuscarora Indigenous nations) creation story involving a “sky woman,” but found it even more perplexing that this story, told so often by men, centers

entirely around a divine woman making the first hominal strides from the sky world into our world.

Friedman began to see a new project unfolding before her: She would offer a platform for Indigenous women of all ages in the tribes to “unpack the teachings of the story at a personal level, unencumbered by patrilineal expectations. Her work touched me deeply; through multigenerational, inclusive storytelling, “Sky Woman Women” reveals how creation stories carry political and feminist lessons that disrupt our settler notions about Indigenous women’ s role in society.

“Sky Woman Women” is presented with no bells and whistles. Rather than a highly edited, documentary-style film about the life and stories of Indigenous people living in New York State, the film is composed of snippets and clips of women taking space to tell the story of their own creation. The storytellers bob and weave and often disagree with one another, yet the clips interweave to create a vibrant tapestry of the woman who fell from a hole in the sky world and created our world. Briefly, the story goes as follows: The world began not with conquest or dominion, but with a fall. It is commonly known that the star around which all the others rotate is actually a hole through which you can glimpse the sky world. Long ago, a pregnant woman

from the sky world tumbled through the hole and plummeted towards a vast expanse of water. As she fell, birds flew up to catch her, softening her fall. They placed her on the back of a great turtle, which became her landing ground. Other animals gathered to help; they dove to the depths of the ocean to retrieve the mud that would eventually become the land of the Earth. Sky Woman gave birth to a daughter, who grew to womanhood on Turtle Island. When the daughter died in childbirth, her body brought forth new life: From her head sprouted corn, beans and squash—the Three Sisters that would sustain future generations. From Sky Woman’s fall, the Earth was made habitable and abundant.

I expected to be bombarded with facts and statistics about Indigeneity when I walked into the Rosenwald Film Theater; instead, I was presented with a filmed roundtable discussion so vibrant that I felt I could jump in at any moment. Without a narrator or an imposed narrative, the stories that the Haudenosaunee women told lived and breathed on their own.

It is so easy to get lost in the academia of the documentary-style movie; even when I began to write this article, I was tempted to invoke and discuss political theories involving indigenism, but they felt so apathetic and removed that I couldn’t bring myself to. In the

discussion following the film, audience members were eager to assign meaning to simple choices; there were a multitude of questions about what certain flashes of colors meant, or why imagery of trees and flowers showed up in the top-left hand corner rather than the top right-hand corner, and it all struck me as arbitrary.

The beauty of Friedman’s work lies in its simplicity; the stories she highlights speak for themselves. This kind of simplicity that leads to a deeper understanding is true of the story of Sky Woman itself; its basic framework allows listeners and re-tellers to fill in details with their resonant personal experiences. I came into this film expecting high-seated academia and left understanding a little more what it means to trust in the act of free-falling. Just as Sky Woman tumbled through the hole in the sky, uncertain of what lay beneath her, I felt myself surrendering to the simplicity of the women’s voices on screen. No scaffolding of theory, no authoritative narrator, only the rawness of story. “Sky Woman Women” showed me the value of letting go of analysis and allowing meaning to arrive through experience. Dara Friedman, her spunky nature, her kinky hair and her Doc Marten boots brought me to an understanding of Haudenosaunee creation stories in a way that Indigenous political theory texts never could have.

sombr’s debut album helps defend the industry plant

In the age of algorithms, it seems inevitable that the mainstream music scene would become overcrowded with industry plants. These musicians are often accused of gaining traction not through their own talent or artistry but through their personal connections in the industry and their record label’s marketing and social media teams. At least according to most of the comments under his TikTok posts, it seems the most recent infiltrator is sombr—an alternative indie rock “poser.”

Like most online sensations, sombr has been subject to both fanaticism and criticism, and the fact that he is a Timothée Chalamet lookalike only adds fuel to the fire. sombr— whose stage name is a play on his initials, Shane Michael Boose—first gained traction in 2021 with a self-produced and -written single titled “nothing left to say.” After releasing his second single, “fine,” he was signed to Warner Records. The then-high school junior at LaGuardia High School decided to drop out and pursue music in Los Angeles full-time. Since then, his single-filled discography has grown into a collage of monochromatic photo covers. All of them allude to a mysteriously fleeting girl who broke his heart, or the other way around. Between his dad’s c sombr grew an enormous fanbase almost overnight, and the abruptness of his fame led to a lot of online speculation about the nature of his success.

Then came the release of his highly anticipated debut album, “I Barely Know Her,” on Aug. 22. It, unsurprisingly, charted and has seemingly infiltrated everyone’s TikTok “For You” pages. While he has definitely garnered a contentious reputation I wanted to give this new album an unbiased listen. In defense of the industry plant, I thought it was good. To start, the album’s production quality is fantastic. The instrumentation and textures that are brought to the table are fun, upbeat, nostalgic and, at times, heartwrenching. The entire album was produced by sombr, with the majority of the songs made in collaboration with acclaimed producer Tony Berg; they did a remarkable job. The musicality of “back

to friends,” “we never dated” and “crushing” is infectious. What I believe was so effective about this album’s arrangements was its use of a more traditional five-instrument setup. As much as I love 2000s synth-fueled pop, I always appreciate arrangements that highlight live instrumentation. “I Barely Know Her” does a fantastic job merging modern synths and samples with acoustic rock elements. The result is a highly addictive sound that leaves you craving more.

Even more to his credit, sombr is an undeniably talented vocalist. “i wish i knew how to quit you” is a great example of sombr’s range and powerfully dynamic style. His ability to switch from a grave, almost devastating tone to a smooth and easy-to-sing-along-to style makes for a fun listening experience. What he is singing, on the other hand, leaves much to be desired.

The rumors of him being an industry plant feel all the more legitimate when taking a look at his songwriting. Despite the fact that some of the lyrics sound AI-generated, sombr is the only credited songwriter for the whole album. While the lyrics are not necessarily bad, they lack personality. It feels like sombr wrote what he thinks a breakup song should sound like—what people want to hear and listen to when they are hurting. He sings about what it feels like to miss someone—to be confused, lost and angry at yourself. It is not that the lyrics do not resonate or speak to heartbreak; they are just not new. Like the album’s title suggests, there is nothing too personal here. If not comfortably familiar—as you stalk your ex’s Instagram page—the majority of the album has a tolerably generic lyric, but some lines are so ‘on-trend’ it’s laughable. My personal favorite being: “‘Cause you’re a ten / and I’m a man that needs a dime.”

What I find most upsetting about the album’s lack of lyricism is that I have found some of sombr’s earlier songwriting to be more genuine. His debut EP “In Another Life,” for example, explores similar themes of heartbreak and betrayal but with what I found to be a more original presentation. The lyrics are still not great: they are less catchy and not exactly imaginative. But they are rougher in

a way that feels more genuine and less gimmicky. It is authentic and offbeat—or at least as offbeat as an indie sleaze-pop EP can get.

One could make the argument that sombr’s lyrics reflect a more modern dating culture—a culture of situationships, eye-contactships, internet stalking and dating apps where users can swipe right or left on hundreds of profiles a day. If we entertain this perspective, then the impersonal feeling of the lyrics is actually a reflection of an increasingly unhealthy dating scene—one that might compel a person to write a whole album for someone he barely knows—the weirdly impersonal nature of an inherently personal act. dating is certainly present throughout this album—namely in

the song “we never dated,” where he documents the ache of a romanticized version of a past relationship, but this interpretation alone does not convince me of the album’s lyrical merit, and I am more compelled to say that his lyrics are just uninspired.

That being said, I look forward to seeing what else he puts out. Whether or not sombr’s songwriting will improve, I think we can all look forward to a long pop career of consistently well-produced music. While sombr is no Jeff Buckley, I am choosing to turn a blind eye to his industry plant allegations and just enjoy his music. I recommend you do the same and appreciate “I Barely Know Her” for what it is: a well-done pop-rock album.

Vera Giraudo guest columnist

Annie McShane/The Miscellany News.

‘Superman’ brings hope to the comic-book movie genre

Felicity Leveau Guest Columnist

An unequivocal summer movie, James Gunn’s “Superman” (2025) graced the big screen on July 11, 2025, bringing a fresh taste of hope to moviegoers. The movie brought with it energized excitement from fans of superhero movies that had been lacking for years. “Superman” managed to break out of the rut that the genre has been in since Marvel began dominating superhero movies in the 2010s.

Gunn brought color back to the screen in “Superman” (2025), and it was refreshing to see a movie shot full of vividness and light. There are multiple shots in “Superman” (2025) that show its characters backlit by the sun, gleaming through windows or over open fields, which adds a beautiful and hopeful shine to its rawest scenes and makes the setting pop visually, especially Superman’s home of Metropolis City. In fact, Metropolis is a masterclass in set dressing. Most superhero movies set their heroes in nondescript cities that could easily stand in for New York City or Chicago, but Gunn’s Metropolis is bright and glossy, with a classy retrofuturistic aesthetic that gives the city itself a distinct visual character.

David Corenswet gives an incredibly endearing performance as Superman. His dorky charm, bolstered by Gunn’s classic quippy writing, gives our hero his full depth. This Superman is far from a stoic god; he is just a guy trying his best to do the right thing. Corenswet’s Superman is not stripped of his majesty or awe, and he still pulls off the same incredible feats of strength, but he is also a little goofy, awkward and very clearly human.

A common criticism of many earlier superhero movies is that, while these heroes and villains are smashing cars and buildings, it is hard not to think about the world around them. When Zack Snyder’s Superman punches his villains through presumably populated buildings in “Man of Steel” (2013),

one wonders whether he has any care for saving people, or if he is just there to be Snyder and the audience’s power fantasy. Gunn went out of his way to avoid this criticism. “Superman” (2025) is still, in some ways, a masculine power fantasy, but it is also a moral fantasy. Gunn made sure to include scenes of Superman saving innocent bystanders in almost every fight scene, even going so far as to show him rescuing a squirrel from getting crushed in the movie’s mid-act fight against a kaiju-like monster. It is notable that in the majority of the scenes where Superman heroically swoops bystanders out of danger, the one being saved is a woman. In this way, the male fantasy persists, but perhaps in a way that is potentially important and essential. The Guardian and The Washington Post have both pointed out that young men are becoming increasingly conservative and hateful. In fringe spaces like the manosphere, many idolize the type of edgy anti-hero that Snyder tried to turn Superman into. At such a time, a movie like this, where a man’s empathy and kindness is so openly valorized, may be exactly what we need.

Where “Superman” (2025) falls short is where many other superhero films do. At its worst moments, Superman is overloaded with CGI action sequences that can make you feel like you are the one getting punched between the eyes, especially in a movie theater. There is little contained in these scenes apart from the spectacle of it all. Watching Superman punch CGI goons while protecting a CGI baby in a CGI-generated alternate dimension does not really give you anything to chew on; the action sequences become gratuitous after the 30th punch. The mid-act fight between Superman and the kaiju in Metropolis is the only one that does not suffer from this, largely because there is more to it than the punches being thrown. Superman is joined by a supporting cast of superheroes—Mr. Terrific, Green Lantern and Hawkgirl—which allows Gunn’s writing to shine, with more quips and character moments than any other action se-

quence in the movie.

But even its flaws are indicative of what makes “Superman” (2025) better than any other superhero movie in recent years. “Superman” (2025) knows exactly what it is and does not try to be anything more. It is a comic book movie, and it embraces all the ridiculousness that comes with that. For years, ever since the popularity of Christopher Nolan’s “Dark Knight” trilogy, “realistic” superhero movies have been the norm. We have seen many characters stripped of their colorful comic book suits, replaced by dark leather with only a literal shadow of their original designs. The edgy takes of “Man of Steel” (2013) are held in Henry Cavill’s abs and the cold gray and blue color grading, and Superman is more god than man. Perhaps, this was what audiences wanted in the 2000s and 2010s. Especially after Sept. 11 and the War on Terror, superhero movies lost their silliness and became more about superheroes beating up racially ambiguous terrorists and stopping alien invasions. Just compare Tim Burton’s 1989 “Batman” villains to Heath Ledger’s Joker in “The Dark Knight” (2008).

But for a modern audience, seeing superheroes work with shady government operatives to fight foreign threats in Eurasian countries is not particularly relevant or impactful. “Superman” (2025) knows this and has left these themes behind. Lex Luthor, the main antagonist and Superman’s nemesis, is the viewer’s Elon Musk stand-in: a corporate tech billionaire who funds a foreign invasion and literally tears the planet apart in the third act. It barely needs pointing out that a main point of tension in the film, Boravia’s invasion of Jarhanpur—two fictional countries Gunn made up for this movie—reflects the current conflicts in Gaza and Ukraine. Superman himself becomes a projection of us, the 21st-century viewers—someone who sees all of this and just wants to do the right thing. He is someone who shows the best in us, not in his superhuman abilities, but in his honest and caring nature; he is an ideal of what we could be. “You’ll believe a man can fly” was one of the taglines for the original Superman movie back in 1978, but “Superman” (2025) will make you believe that people can be kind to one another, and challenges us to do so.

Why ‘Hollow Knight: Silksong’ means so much

Benjamin Kaplan assistant arts editor

It is almost a played-out statement at this point to say that modern gaming has devolved greatly. The video game industry saw unprecedented growth during the pandemic, acting as a vehicle for connection during a tenuous and lonely time and catapulting gaming even further into the mainstream. Five years later, anti-consumerist practices, microtransactions and a general disdain for the classical single-player experience dominate gaming. Even juggernauts like Nintendo have faltered despite the immense success of the Switch and Switch 2, notably in drastic price rises and the adoption of the infamous “release unfinished and add in the rest over updates” model for some of its releases.

Price inflation has hit the entire gaming industry hard, from the Switch 2 costing $450 to the average game now sitting at $70 to $80. In turn, this pushes the average consumer away from trying out a console’s catalogue, and instead towards the microtransaction-filled “free to play” titles like “Fortnite” or yearly releases like “Call of Duty” and “Assassin’s Creed.” In all of this chaos and corporate spearheading of the modern gaming landscape, there appears a light at the end of the tunnel—“Hollow Knight: Silksong.”

Many people my age look back fondly on the crowdsourced indie game. Despite infamous misses like “Yooka-Laylee” and “Mighty

No. 9”, the era between 2015 and 2020, wherein young developers pulling from their own nostalgia used platforms like Kickstarter to bring about some of the most beloved titles of the time, was something to behold. Be it the story-based “Undertale” and “Night in the Woods,” or the platformers “Shovel Knight” and “A Hat in Time,” there was a real, palpable system in which gamers would give a few dollars and contribute to the creation of modern classics.

“Hollow Knight,” originally posted on Kickstarter with a goal of $35,000 in 2014, is one of the most beloved. A beautiful 2D Metroidvania (2D adventure games with roguelike elements) centered on a gothic world infested with bugs as residents, the game is well known for its worldbuilding, difficulty, multiple endings and a myriad of intense boss battles. After its giant success, a sequel to the game, titled “Silksong” and centered on the side-character Hornet, was announced in early 2019. There was a great silence around its development until a sudden announcement on Aug. 19, 2025, that the game would release in two weeks. We have it now, and “Silksong” is possibly the release of the year for both its gameplay and what it represents.You just cannot put down “Silksong” once it clicks. It is Hollow Knight but with a setup that pushes the player to work around having fewer things they can add to the protagonist, in this case, Hornet. The player has to make the most out of greater movement options. Basic ene-

mies are shifty and are often paired together in ways that challenge the player to use their platforming skills in the middle of combat. The environments are varied and beautiful, be it the looming Citadel, metal-played Bellhaven or the Dune-esque Blasted Steps.

The game also features a more interactive and direct story, with Hornet being kidnapped to the far-off kingdom of Pharloom, where she must unravel her origins. “Hollow Knight’s” main character, the Knight, was completely silent, which was fine and normal for the genre, but could get boring. Hornet is not just a protagonist that talks; she is bursting with personality and has some truly hilarious interactions and dialogue throughout the game. Is the game super tough? At points, absolutely. Does it feel unfair at times? Yes, and there have been times while playing, I wish I was never born. Should you play it purely because of its gameplay experience, stunning visuals and a serviceably fun story? Definitely.

Beyond being an amazing game that somehow survived a five-to-six-year development cycle, “Silksong” shows that gaming can still be centered on something more than a profit margin. I have seen more community around difficult boss battles and fun dialogue in this game in a few weeks than I have seen in the last five years of most other large game franchises. And, unlike other popular single-player games of the last few years, such as “Red Dead Redemption 2” or “Elden Ring,” the game is not maximalist. It is not a giant dis-

play of how much the developers could smash together in hundreds of hours of development hell, making sure each inch of a 3D world is as detailed as possible. It is a stylized, fun game that is not ashamed of being a great Metroidvania and nothing more. It did not take so long to come out because of turmoil, but because of an effort to get it right. And, with this clear-cut vision and hours upon hours of content, how much will it cost the gamer? Just $20. It is on nearly every console as well as on Steam.

This is not to say that “Silksong” will save gaming from the current status quo. As someone who, every now and then gets addicted to “Fortnite,” I can personally attest there will always be a market for the free-to-play multiplayer game, along with the yearly “Call of Duty” and “NBA2K” releases. What “Silksong” does show is that you can have your cake and eat it too. A game can still embody the free spirit of the crowdsourced indie game long after success, without compromising the spirit of player accessibility. “Hollow Knight” could have been forgotten forever or turned into a giant franchise, but, in a way, developers Team Cherry went the classical route. Just like in the 90s, the wildly successful game has been succeeded by a well-planned sequel. One that has taken what the first did and added its own flair. Hopefully, the great success of “Silksong,” both as a game, in sales and critical praise, will be a trendsetter for the gaming industry moving forward.

Tait Tavolacci/The Miscellany News.

Visiting Prof. Parsons brings miltary, political insights

Continued from Parsons on page 1

inspired by his experiences at West Point. “In the last five years or so, I got really into gender, and especially masculinity and how it influences how we think about war in the military,” said Parsons. “The gender performance [at West Point] is really obvious and conspicuous and I wanted to think more about that.”

Some basic differences between teaching West Point cadets and Vassar students? Parsons mentioned the lack of uniform inspections and a higher proportion of students coming from major metropolitan cities as opposed to rural areas, which he noticed more often at West Point. Yet, aside from our exteriors, what Parsons called stepping into “costume” for cadets and the variation in places we call home, the new professor explained that the vast majority of his pedagogical practices will remain the same. For example, he said he hopes to continue encouraging students to feel comfortable sharing their opinions on the classroom floor, a practice he noticed to be beneficial in fostering community for the West Point cadets and remains universally important to engaging with the topics of his courses.

Parsons also commented on the welcoming atmosphere created by upper administration and fellow Vassar faculty in contrast with the environment farther down the Hudson at West Point.

“It really feels like a breath of fresh air [...] I feel so much more free. I feel more supported,” said Parsons. “Even the admin-

istration seems to value what I do, and I felt the opposite at West Point. And then just the sort of culture, you know, the president who likes to be called ‘Betsy.’”

Amidst increasing pressures on civilian institutions of higher education and a wave of pushback against the Trump administration’s attempts to cut research funding, dismantle DEI (Diversity, Equity and Inclusion) programs and Title IX laws and make it harder for international students to study in the United States, the executive branch crackdowns which facilitated West Point’s response strategy and Parsons’ resignation are not unique to military institutions. After I cited some of the similarities and contrasted Vassar’s own responses, Parsons said he agreed with President Bradley’s efforts to hold our school true to its values by avoiding compromise as a means for survival.

“What I saw at West Point was the opposite,” said Parsons. “Throw the values out of the window so that we would survive [...] My question for the leaders when I was there was, what’s left? We’re not here to just keep the lights on. We have a mission we need to defend. And so yeah, I think Betsy’s message is right on the money,” said Parsons.

Parsons also said that an acknowledgment of values alone will not be enough to withstand external pressures, especially if the time comes when they threaten peoples’ job security—as they did Parsons’ at the end of his time at West Point.

“It’s easier for people at Vassar to say they’re going to defend the values because no one is really yet facing being fired or attacked more directly,” said Parsons. “One general lesson I learned in the last year at West Point was that when people’s jobs are on the line, they cave really quickly. I guess my advice would be for people to actually think about what they would do if continuing to defend the values might lead them to be fired for something like that [...] and be prepared to actually take risks.”

Parsons has also shared his thoughts in publications such as The New York Times, PBS Newshour and CNN concerning the Trump administration’s impacts on a variety of issues, including diversity and partisanship at West Point and throughout the military.

Though the nationwide scale of the issues Parsons writes and speaks of may seem daunting—and perhaps distant from the privilege of the Vassar bubble, for the time being—Parsons is a reminder that protecting our community from encroaching threats will be a slow, imperfect and ever-continuing process, one which involves real students and the livelihoods of our professors and administrators. Parsons’ story exemplifies why we need to be prepared and honest with ourselves about where we are willing to take risks and preemptively plan exactly how far we are willing to take them.

For students, facing these pressures which threaten our community can begin

with connections we make in the classroom while learning from professors like Parsons who bring real-world, first-hand experiences to guide how we discuss and take action alongside our peers at Vassar and beyond.

Cadet or college student, Parsons said that once you enter the classroom, there is little to no difference in how we teach, learn and engage in discourse.

“I’m really eager to meet everybody and hear their different perspectives. [...] I feel so lucky that I’ve landed here. It’s such a welcoming and prestigious place, and so I feel like I won the lottery,” said Parsons.

Spending a “Sun Day” on Library Lawn

On Sunday, Sept. 21, 2025, students gathered on Library Lawn to celebrate a day all about the sun. Aptly named, “Sun Day” is a day to educate the community on all things solar; it is a global event that brings attention to solar energy. Here on campus, the local version of this international event celebrated renewable energy efforts at Vassar. The event was run by a sustainability organization entitled Students for Equitable Environmental Decisions (SEED) as well as the Environmental Science Department (ENST) at Vassar. With the help of the ENST department, SEED planned this elaborate, interactive event in order to engage the Vassar campus and the Poughkeepsie community with environmental justice.

The dedicated group of students at SEED

devote their time to working towards a more sustainable campus. They push for more structural change—like installing heat pumps or solar panels—and they make smaller changes, like planting non-invasive plants on the campus’ greenery. SEED has a mission of decarbonizing the Vassar campus and is working toward making not only Vassar, but the Poughkeepsie area, a more sustainable and green place to live. A major component of Sun Day was an embodiment of these renewable energy efforts on and off campus, giving students a chance to learn more about alternate energy sources. Beyond explicit climate education, the event was also a fun opportunity to gather as a community and celebrate the sun.

At 1 p.m., Library Lawn went from its usually calm and empty state to bustling with students, making their way around a semicircle of folding tables facing a stage.

Up on the stage, a Vassar student jazz combo group played sun-themed songs like “Sunny Side of the Street” by Benny Goodman, and the entirety of their performance was renewably powered. Community members and students made their way through the circle stopping at stations like the cyanotype printing. Students manned a table with bins full of flowers and leaves while others came through and organized them on cyanotype paper. Leaving them under clear bins, the sun printed outlines of the foliage onto the paper. At the next table over, students collected rocks and used paint markers to design sun-themed paperweights. Library Lawn buzzed with the sounds of people chatting with each other and jazz.

Using chalk boards, volunteers explained the progress of greenhouse gas emission reductions with a surprisingly hopeful hand-drawn graphic that asked how the situation had happened.

The answer? Renewable energy.

During a brief pause of the jazz music, Poughkeepsie Town Supervisor Rebecca Edwards emphasized the importance of electric energy while also highlighting a phenomena of fearmongering around the lithium batteries that powered many electric cars or solar powered systems. She went on to explain why this attempt to scare people away from using renewable energy like solar power or switching to electric vehicles was harmful to the climate movement. Edwards also spoke on the importance of events like this, and concluded with a cheer of applause as the jazz group took back to the stage.

The day was perfect for such an event: The sun beamed down as students filtered through Library Lawn as they stopped to play solar energy jeopardy or peruse the free clothing giveaway table from the Vassar Greens team. Members of SEED also

circulated around, answering questions and enjoying the music and sun. Sun Day goers wandered through the activities while listening to the jazz and pausing to listen to the speakers.

The second speaker to come out was Lisa Kaul, representative of Dutchess County District 6, who also spoke on the importance of switching to solar energy, and renewable energy in general. She maintained that solar energy is evolving into a cheaper alternative to fossil fuels like coal or oil, and emphasized, “I can tell you somebody who works with the law, solar [energy] is incredibly popular across the political spectrum.” Because of her perspective within the county legislature, her value for solar energy and the hope she sees for its use in the future is uplifting. In an activist movement often so full of dread, progress is an important thing to be reminded of. Sun Day was full of this brightness—a celebration of the efforts to protect the planet and the people on it.

As the event came to its close, the air of Sun Day remained bright. Leaving with one more sun-themed paper weight or cyanotype print than one might have come in with, the event brought together a community of those who are passionate about the planet. It also brought to light a change in the world’s advancements yet to receive the attention it perhaps deserves . Aviva Moss ’29, who manned the solar-themed trivia station, explained that she participated in Sun Day for this very reason: “The more I learn about solar, the more I am surprised that we’re not talking about it. I wanted the opportunity to educate people while also having fun, and to celebrate the technological revolution that we’re living through.” Events like Sun Day are how we can continue to educate and uplift for the good of the environment and all of the people who exist within it. Happy Sun Day!

Isabel Holmes Guest Columnist

Image courtesy of Graham Parsons.

Image courtesy of Isabel Holmes ’29.

FEATURES

Trans Night at the Mug: A night to be transgendered

All across campus, befuddled Vassar students are wondering why their previously cisgender roommates are suddenly donning pink, white and blue and using pronouns wackier than Gordon Commons pizza toppings. Well, if this is you, fret no longer, because the explanation is simple: your roommate got cracked. Where? Trans Night at the Mug this past Saturday evening.

For those of you not in the know, “cracked” is trans slang for coming to the realization that you are, indeed, trans. Where better to arrive at such a notion than the Mug, surrounded by drag performers,

stand up comedians, artists and a clientele of kindred spirits? The night was co-hosted and entertained by student representatives from VC Royalty, Indecent Exposure, the Vassar Accidentals and the Barefoot Fireflies, as well as a local transgender author Phoenix Gray and the Vassar Artist Group (VAG).

After showing the bouncers a valid trans card and leaving all cisgender items at the door, guests proceeded down the spiral stairs into the Mug, which was resplendently decked out in pride flags, streamers and bisexual lighting. The night began with some “tabling time,” during which attendees could mingle, purchase raffle tickets, pick up free pride merch such as pronoun pins and carabiners, or be absolutely scalped by the caricature portraitists from the VAG table.

The night’s entertainment began with a reading from “From the Ashes: The Writings of an All-American Transgender Boy” by Phoenix Gray. Next, four trans students from the Vassar Accidentals, or “Axies,” serenaded the audience with an acapella number. Singing, as it turns out, has everything to do with trans acceptance: According to lead singer Mia Ryan ’27, making music with your mouth is a great way to stick it to voice dysphoria.

At roughly 9:50 p.m., Dora Graham ’26 and Eleanor Fritz-Ayers ’29 represented Indecent Exposure—an all women, trans and

nonbinary stand-up comedy group—with two killer stand up routines riffing on everything from getting clocked as trans by TSA to trying to keep it together when a little kid gets hit in his “man grapes.” Next up were the Barefoot Fireflies, who performed some glow-in-the-dark tricks before allowing the audience to come up and try out the equipment themselves.

The final performances of the evening were from three drag artists from VC Royalty, Vassar’s one and only drag troupe. The performers lip-synced, weave-snatched and generally devoured while audience members tossed cash to be collected for the Dutchess County Pride Center. The evening culminated close to midnight with

a raffle prize giveaway of several prizes, including board games, prints from local artists, paintbrushes, and the most coveted item of all, a signed “Hamilton” playbill.

And as for what “Hamilton” has to do with being trans, if you know, you know, and if you do not, you can always pull up to the next Trans Night at the Mug to find out.

So, if you are jonesing for more trans activities, or if you are trans-curious and ready to be cracked, there are many wonderful organizations that helped put Trans Night together. VC Royalty performer Beckett Hendy ’28 encouraged all attendees to branch out and explore the various performing organizations on campus: “If you even have an inkling, just do it!”

Living with pets on campus

Allison Lowe Managing Editor

WhenI moved into the Terrace Apartments (TAs) this year, the many differences from dorm life were immediately apparent. Suddenly, my housemates and I have access to our own kitchen, a non-communal bathroom and a cozy living room. The most notable difference in our home life, however, is 21 pounds and fluffy.

On move-in day, my housemate, Chloe Rogers ’26, brought her then-five-monthold puppy, Remy, to live with her in our TA. Remy is a certified Emotional Support Animal (ESA).

“I got her at the end of May 2025, so she was with me over the summer when she was a baby,” Rogers told me. “The process of registering her on campus was super simple and easy, and the [Accessibility and Educational Opportunity Office] made it super stress-free.”

Remy likes to spend her time walking through campus, chewing on her toys and getting lots of pets. Very quickly, she has become an integral part of each of our Vassar experiences. The other day, my housemate Ashley Hunt ’26 and I were looking through our camera rolls, and we could not help but notice that Remy had taken them over. It made us reflect on the large role that this small dog has taken in our lives.

“It just makes it feel more like home, when you come back from class and there’s a dog waiting for you,” Hunt said.

Our fourth housemate, Wyatt Keleshian ’26, agreed. “Living with a pet uplifts me,” he said. “I always wonder what we would be talking about if Remy wasn’t living with us.”

Remy definitely loves to be the center of attention. When we are all doing homework together in the living room, she always prances around, showing off her toys or asking for pets. She also enjoys making

friends around campus, though she can sometimes be a little shy when meeting new people. “It’s a conversation starter— seeing people on campus when you have Remy, and they come up to say hi,” Hunt said.

“Remy has met other campus dogs, and she’s very fond of them,” Rogers added. “She’s always down for a puppy play date!”

Ultimately, Remy has added a lot of joy and whimsy to each of our lives. Her friendships even span outside of our TA, as she frequently greets our friends and neighbors. To celebrate her six-month birthday, we even hosted a birthday party for her—complete with balloons and a dog-friendly cake.

“She’s a very sweet addition to our little TA family,” Rogers said.

The experience of living with a pet on campus is definitely a unique one, so I decided to talk to other seniors with pets to hear their thoughts on the matter.

Catherine Phillips ’26 adopted her cat, Ollie, two years ago. Since then, he has lived with her in a Jewett single, a Main suite and a TA. Ollie is also a certified ESA.

“It’s really comforting and nice to know he joined me at Vassar and will be someone that leaves Vassar with me too!” Philips wrote to me.

“Living with Ollie is so much fun, because he really is a cat who thinks he’s a dog,” Willow Grote ’26, one of Phillips’ housemates, told me. “He says hi to us when we come home from class, and he loves to be pet.”

Yaksha Gummadapu ’26, [Disclaimer: Gummadapu is a Features Editor for The Miscellany News] another one of Ollie’s housemates, said, “My parents are not big cat people, but when they were moving me in, my dad got so attached to Ollie. Every day he would walk in and be like, ‘How are you today, Ollie?’”

Meanwhile, Ava Gurley ’26 also brought a special addition with her when moving

into the Town Houses. One of her family dogs, a Chihuahua named Bean, is joining Gurley for her senior year.

Gurley wrote to me, “It’s been so much fun having Bean with me on campus this year, seeing her throughout the day just brings a huge smile to my face. She’s made so many friends so far, and I can’t wait to see her keep making more while she’s here!”

Pets have a special ability to draw people

closer together. While I highlighted Remy, Ollie and Bean here, they are just three of the many wonderful animals that brighten up our campus. Whether it is the local dogs going on their afternoon walks through the quad or the cats sitting in the windows of House Fellows’ apartments, I am always grateful for the pets that make up the Vassar community. With them, I think that our campus feels a bit more like home.

Benji Boyd Guest Columnist

Image courtesy of Ava Gurley ’26.

Allison Lowe/The Miscellany News.

Allison Lowe/The Miscellany News.

Image courtesy of Ben Regeir ’29.

Image courtesy of Ben Regeir ’29.

FEATURES

Brewers partake in the clog epidemic

This summer, on a hot New Hampshire afternoon, I bought my first pair of clogs. For the past month at my job, working as what was essentially a backcountry lodge cook, I had been wearing my co-worker’s green suede clogs every chance I got. The long, long hours on my feet cooking four-course meals for hungry hikers were taxing, and the relatively flat soles of my trusty Blundstones were not cutting it. Wearing Kathryn’s clogs felt like walking on a firm compressive cloud. Life changing. And, as she always mentioned, they really made me feel like a chef. Slipping on her clogs felt like formally suiting up for the day, slipping into an alter ego. And so, on the second floor of a popular

on campus sidewalks this semester. Maybe not as widely popular as other trends, it still catches my eye, especially given that I feel like barely anyone was rocking clogs three years ago.

My mom, my original fashion north star, hated clogs. She found them ugly and impractical. Cursed with narrow heels, she pointed out that your feet would constantly slip out of the shoe. In the past, I probably would not have considered letting my work relationship with clogs continue into campus life, relegating them to the back of my closet along with my summer crocs. Yet despite this childhood bias, I now wear them at Vassar and even feel myself becoming an advocate. As my friend Harrison Phipps ’26, a Birkenstock clog wearer, said, it feels good to be able to slip your foot into a shoe and just go.

outdoors store in Lincoln, I bought brand new brown waterproof Dansko clogs and hiked them up to the lodge that day.

Although I knew I was buying my clogs for professional purposes, I also felt aware that I was falling for a burgeoning fashion trap. I had witnessed the growing trend on campus last spring semester, and knew it would be present this fall. Sure enough, clogs can be found on plenty of feet strolling through Gordon Commons and strutting

So, where is this trend coming from? A quick Google search revealed a series of articles from publications like British Vogue, Who What Wear, and Cosmopolitan claiming clogs as the new shoewear trend of the year—dating from February 2025 to as recently as late August. Most publications name the trend as the “70s returning!” and that “Boho chic is back!” Although I have zero fashion expertise, I can say fashion is certainly cyclical, so perhaps this is

just Gen Z discovering the boho craze of the early aughts that derived from ’70s inspiration. Yet the internet mood board inspo and shopping guides for that variety of clog seem in opposition to what I actually see in my life. The Gen Z clog wearers around me seem to have taken a distinctly more grungy, ugly, utilitarian and, dare I say, indie sleaze take on the clog.

How does Vassar’s environment play into this? Part of what is fun about Vassar campus life is students’ devotion to style. Committed to aesthetics, finding interesting clothes and dressing up, campus can be a runway of diverse looks. Campus fashion becomes its own language, both one of fun and expression—play is more fun when everyone buys in—while also sometimes one of social capital. Shoes like the clog show that this culture seemingly focused on personal style is not immune to trend. Chatting with Caroline Belanger ’28 while working on this article, she summed up

Even if Vaughan’s affinity for clogs is long-standing, personal and practical, she sees the current campus trend and notes larger patterns influencing the shift. She posits that clogs are associated with an artsy and also down-to-earth aesthetic—something unpretentious and casually fashionable. Yet through being anti-pretentious, it returns to pretension. Ahhh, Vassar. Clogs are also certainly in line with the workwear aesthetic—Carhartts feel cemented as a staple on campus. Vaughan summarizes, “It’s like trying to seem like you don’t care, but you deeply care. And also this appropriation of workwear and of clothes that are associated with not being able to afford clothing, and that becoming a trend of like, try to not show that you’re being wealthy in an environment like Vassar, where there’s a lot of criticism of wealth and capitalism.” This critique is not meant to chastise clog wearers out there; both Vaughan and I will continue to clomp around in them. Rather,

the power of the clog trend perfectly, saying, “I think they’re plaguing Vassar, in a great way. I think they look really cool, but they’re the next like, Vassar indie thing to do and have.”

So why the clog? Margot Vaughan ’26, who has loyally been wearing clogs since freshman year and almost exclusively wears her pair, says, “For me, it’s practicality. And it’s like, there are shoes that I like when they get paint on them or something. So if I’m doing sculpture, I don’t care about them. I don’t have to think about them.”

I think it is an interesting exercise to examine why certain fashion items take hold, especially if it is a Dansko. I would also add that although sneakers will never die, we have seen a shift away from the sneaker-only lifestyle. Replacing streetwear is a fashion ethos more focused on luxury vintage. Loafers, cowboy boots, Frye boots and even Mary Janes—we are now evidently interested in “the shoe.” Clogs may just be another iteration in this progression, but a distinctly more comfortable one.

Clara Alger Contributing Editor

Image courtesy of Amritha Dewan ’28.

Image courtesy of Amritha Dewan ’28.

Image courtesy of Amritha Dewan ’28.

Image courtesy of Amritha Dewan ’28.

Breaking News

From the desk of Madeleine Nicks, Arts Editor

Miscellany News to institute paywall for online crossword puzzle

A literary analysis of how I’m gonna whoop your ass

Wren Buehler

Hey! You! Yeah, you, Dirk Masters!

It’s me, the heart-eating pro-wrestler who’s gonna get medieval on your ass this Friday at Clobbermania. And I don’t mean high medieval, neither. The Literator is gonna get early Middle Ages this Friday, Old English and all, and you better believe that my translations will be well-researched and preserve the poeticism of the original text.

You don’t believe it? Well then, you got another thing coming, Dirk Masters, because the Literator is the world’s first pro wrestler with a PhD in English Literature. Does that frighten you, Dirk Masters? Does it? Well, it should, because I spent seven years learning how to read critically, and I’ve been spending the last six months reading up on you. I know all your weaknesses, Dirk Masters. And at Clobbermania, I’m gonna exploit each and every one of them, and I’m gonna make you my bitch like your name was Orlando.

Classic novel, by the way. One of Woolf’s masterworks. But who’s afraid of her? She can’t elbow-drop you. But I can, Dirk Masters, and I will.

I think you’ll find, Dirk Masters, that literature can make a massive impact on you. More specifically, “Moby Dick” will make a massive impact on you, when I swing my 10-pound large-print edition at your groin at top speed. They’ll have to call you male-ish afterwards.

You don’t know, Dirk Masters, the world of hurt you’re in for. How could you, you simple-minded brute? I mean, I had to dumb down all the references for you, because I know your sorry ass got a Communications degree from a state school. I’m not even gonna bother referencing “A Passage to India,” because I know you don’t even know enough to be insulted by it, you rube!

Yeah, I bet you’re angrier than Tea Cake right now—sorry, who am I kidding, I know

you didn’t pay attention to “Their Eyes Were Watching God” in high school. I bet you’re pissed, though. You’re so angry it makes you stupid, Dirk Masters. You’re easy prey. You’re the Grendel to my Beowulf, tromping around with your dumb fuckin’ arm off.

I don’t even know what else to say, Dirk Masters. It’s so over for you right now. It was over for you from the beginning. You were doomed from the moment of your birth, and every second your stupid ass spent practicing your lariats without even thinking about “Lady Chatterley’s Lover” just reinforced it. Brains beat brawn, Dirk Masters, and you’re sorely lacking in both. See you at Clobbermania, Dirk. I’m already drafting a beautiful eulogy for you.

How to play rugby: a spectator’s definitive guide

Caroline Winchester Prospective Sports Editor

Last Saturday, I had the privilege of attending my first rugby game, where our very own women’s rugby team mercilessly took down that of Syracuse University. As Vassar triumphed, Syracuse cried orange tears. Cry me an orange juice river—am I right? Haha.

Jokes aside, it was a very moving event to witness. I left with a sense of school pride and the lingering question: How does one actually play?

After conducting thorough research, I now feel obligated to share my wisdom with the world. This article will focus exclusively on the women’s team, because no one cares about the men’s team, anyway. And that’s on 60-40!

Here are the three simple steps necessary

for becoming a rugby star:

Step One: Cheek to Cheek

Through my experience as a spectator, as well as my extensive research, I’ve learned that rugby tackles utilize a “cheek to cheek approach.” In NARP terms, this translates to making sure your upper cheek makes contact with your opponent’s lower cheek. “Butt cheek,” if you will. While slightly amusing to witness, and perhaps something I would refrain from telling the seven-year-olds I babysit, it is genuinely terrifying and not a laughing matter. I sat down for an exclusive interview with Coach Rugby, who told me, “Just really throw your face on her butt, just really go for it and it all will turn out fine.” Such a well-spoken gentleman.

Step Two: Human Centipede

The “human centipede,” as my fel-

low spectators deemed it, consisted of several players seemingly locking together and passing the ball through their legs. I don’t have much amusing commentary to add to this observation. Just when the anxious observer thinks the game is coming to a halt, the ball emerges from between the player’s legs, and the game begins again, like Harry Potter emerging triumphantly with the golden snitch—but better.

Step Three: Violence, Violence, So Much Violence

As a self-proclaimed pacifist, I have to admit that I was slightly uncomfortable with the roughness of rugby. It felt like being on an episode of “What Would You Do?” or unknowingly being a member of a psychological study where I am the embodiment of a social loafing bystander. Was I supposed to intervene and stop this

violence? Or just let it unfold in front of my eyes? One person on the field got decapitated. Another’s leg exploded. At one point, Syracuse tried to spray the field with pineapple juice, an allergen of Vassar’s star player, Captain Rugby. There was blood everywhere, evoking scenes of every father’s favorite movie, “Saving Private Ryan.” I was scared, clutching the bleachers with my white-knuckled hands. I thought about calling CRC but instead just posted on Fizz.

Watching a rugby game is a perfect fall pastime, but I couldn’t help but wonder if the game may be better suited for a warmer climate. Perhaps June?

Women’s rugby——please know I respect your craft. All of this is simply jokes. Haha. You are stronger than I will ever be, and also please don’t tackle me. Haha. Just joking. Thanks.

Proud owner of a whoopass canning factory

Image courtesy of Amélie Rey-Bear ’29.

HUMOR

‘Performative Male Contest’ was plot to harvest pea milk

Luke Jenkins, Chloe Rogers Eunuch Fans

So, who wants to know what pea milk is? We did. To delve into the mysterious “Product In Transit” sign on the Deece’s newest machine, we sucked on the udderof-truth to answer the questions students were asking.

Pea milk: noun. The Oxford English Dictionary describes the substance as a milky juice consisting of thickened pea protein and sunflower oil (sorry, RFK Jr.). When the Board of Trustees decided to indoctrinate students by imposing the new “milk” upon them, the College had a problem: “Where, oh where do we source this delicious, nutritious pea nectar?”

The answer came to administrators one late afternoon. When a man walked in—or rather, clogged in—for tea time at the President’s House, PB had an idea. From her intense squash training as a young girl, she remembered a unique side effect of excessive soy intake mixed with anti-depressants on her male teammates: lactation. No one would notice the difference between pea milk and breast milk, which notoriously taste the same. Both have notes of cardamom and rust. Fact-checkers from The Miscellany News confirmed

To gather the milk, they needed to recruit a society of willing men. Born from necessity and curiosity, the “Performative Male Contest” was delivered via Caesarean. Like hiding under a blanket playing a Nintendo DS when you should’ve been asleep, John Bradley downloaded Fizz. He kicked his little legs as he made anonymous posts about the event. Spreading throughout campus quicker than the posters sold in Express, the contest was a go. Men lined the auditorium with button-down shirts, barrel jeans and ear buds loosely hanging from embroidered pockets.

Everyone was eager to see who would win the 24K gold Labubu awarded for peak performativeness. During the quiet snaps of the audience, winners received a secret

message clipped to their carabiners. Hidden inside those discreet tote bags were cassette tapes with a pre-recorded message. While enjoying a nice long cigarette in the Shakespeare Garden, the ASMR message echoed in their ears: “Hot new internships for Vassar students! Please inquire at Beige House. To enter, share a hot take on the ecofeminist zine culture of ’80s Wichita.”

Once inside Beige House’s hookah lounge, undercover Misc reporters mingled with fellow performative men by gurgling Clairo lyrics at the water cooler. Jimmy Kimmel, recently appointed as Dean of Milk and Milk-aphone studies, propositioned the students for a unique job opportunity lactating for $15.51 an hour. It was an astounding increase of 1 cent over minimum wage. Hearing this news, the men declared in unison: “Fuck the binary. We accept.”

How does the Work Study position work? Groups of men volunteer to consume gallons of iced soy milk matchas contracted out to Brew baristas. Brew underling Fiona Pullman ’26 stated, “It’ll require a lot of soy, but we’ll do it for the lactose intolerant,” in response to her new role as designated matcha bloomer. Not just any soy, however, special soy.

Farmed from the backyard of notorious Albertan resident Tate McRae, the soy is raised to perform in competitive dance and whisper salacious lyrics into low quality studio microphones. These activities exercise the soy proteins to enhance flexibility in the breast tissue, encouraging milk to rush out like warm rain.

The soy is set to arrive on International Mushy Pea Day—then production can begin. The shipments will arrive in supply drops wrapped in poetry, nestled in messenger bags and hand-delivered by bikes.

The men will dispatch their duties from the Philosophy Lounge in Rocky, some even daring to slackline outside while the elixir flows. They will begin their shift with a restorative circle. The check-in question: How in community do you feel with Judith

Butler today?

So they can produce under the stars, the shifts are set to start at 11 p.m. This will be quickly followed by a group discussion and free write on Sally Rooney. They then prepare the sacred record player. To decide who picks the record that plays during harvesting, workers will compete to see who can queerbait the most onlookers. The expected winning total is 72 people and three dogs.

The harvest will end with a hug circle and Weck Jars of “pea milk” promptly delivered to the Deece. To thank the men helping the College subvert Big Dairy, Jimmy Kimmel suggests a fart gun salute by lactose intolerant students, like the one seen in “Despicable Me 2.” Kimmel states, “Performative Male pea milk will bring light to a disordered cosmos, and quench the inquisitive throats of Deece goers. God bless our boys.”

Wren Buehler/The Miscellany News.

ARIES March 21 | April 19

HOROSCOPES

Your week is going to be totally WAC! That’s right! The New York City Watershed Agricultural Council is going to acquire a permanent easement on your farmland, preventing land development to safeguard NYC’s water quality.

TAURUS April 20 | May 20

You have a LOT of stuff to get done this week; it seems like you’re going to get a stress headache! You should play Tylenol chicken! Take two Tylenol PM and work as hard as you can on your to-do list until you’re literally passing out.

GEMINI May 21 | June 20

Have you ever seen the Tinkerbell movies? If not, that’s really embarrassing. You should feel very embarrassed. Don’t pay Disney to watch them now, though. Too late. Embarrassing.

CANCER June 21 | July 22

It may be a rough weekend, my friend. I wouldn’t go to the THs if I were you. If you do, do not get drunk. If you do that, don’t get super drunk. If you do get super drunk, don’t pee in a bush right in front of someone’s TH. If you do that…wait! I told you not to do that, you naughty minx.

LEO July 23 | Aug. 22

You should really stop walking like that…Yeah, everyone thinks you walk really weird. Maybe you should try walking normally? No, I promise you, it’s not normal to make balloon animals while you walk somewhere.

LIBRA Sept. 23 | Oct. 22

You should take advantage of the scenic Hudson Valley this week. Go on an Outing Club trip! I know they’re not all advertised as naked hikes, but definitely get naked beforehand, just in case.

SCORPIO Oct. 23 | Nov. 21

Rumor has it everyone is making fun of you for going to Global two times in one meal. You idiot! Next time, make sure to pack a pair of glasses with a nose and mustache glued on. Is this amateur hour?

SAGITTARIUS Nov. 22 | Dec. 21

You’re going to meet some evil people this week. I’ll just say it. You’re going to meet a bisexual woman who will have sex but not go on a date in public with you. You should put a whoopie cushion on her chair. That’ll show her!

CAPRICORN Dec. 22 | Jan. 19

Under no circumstances should you go swimming in Sunset Lake this week. Didn’t you hear about the infestation??? There’s a ton of skunks in the lake or something. Or water chestnuts all over the golf course? It’s hard to keep it all straight…

AQUARIUS Jan. 20 | Feb. 18

You’re being too conservative with the things you take from the Deece. Really push the limit this week! Shove several loaves of bread under your shirt and mush them into a bump shape. If someone stops you, pretend you’re in labor. Then you can have so much smushed bread!

You might get invited to someone’s room this week only to find it’s a coffin single. No! I would leave if I were you. If you really think it’s really worth it, start practicing your sultry ladder climbing now.

PISCES Feb. 19 | March 20

This week is going to feel kind of like a picnic on the beach. May start out feeling great. You might even buy some Miss Vickie’s salt and vinegar chips for it. But seagulls are going to steal them! ARM YOURSELF AGAINST UPCOMING SEAGULL ATTACKS.

Emma daRosa Naughty Minx

OPINIONS

Regarding hypocrisy: the nature of gun violence in the US

Jude Landesman Guest Columnist

Iwantto discuss the normalization of gun violence as a form of resistance, right-wing extremism, the United States’ abhorrent selective mourning and—you saw it coming—the death of Charlie Kirk. However, there are a few reasons why Kirk’s name is not in the title. First, among the Trump administration’s virtue signaling via hyperbolized memorials and Instagram posts, I want to decenter Kirk and draw our attention back to the thousands of lives that have been taken before him and will undoubtedly be taken after him. Second, this article is not inherently about Kirk, but about the gun violence that he and people like him encouraged, that continues to be normalized as a political tool and that ultimately took his life.

I will not feign grief at the death of Charlie Kirk. He never said or did anything in his public life that would evoke that particular emotion within me. His death, however, does not bring me joy. In fact, I feel a great sadness, not specifically for the death of a man like Charlie Kirk, but because his killing is one more piece of evidence that gun violence has been normalized as a tool of control. I feel great sadness because a woman lost her life partner. Children lost their father. I do, however, feel conflicted. Kirk has shown us that he would certainly not grieve for our deaths. In April of 2023, Kirk stated that he believes it is “...worth it to have a cost of, unfortunately, some gun deaths every single year so that we can have the Second Amendment to protect our other God-given rights.” Kirk’s assertion that gun deaths are “worth it” is, at a minimum, grotesquely ironic. It echoes how Kirk felt that his privilege shielded him from the same gun violence he sanitized and is reflective of how power structures and right-wing extremism seek to normalize violence as a tool of dominance. Allow me to present a quote from a Newsweek article covering Pastor Howard-John Wesley’s sermon on the public reaction to Kirk’s death: “Charlie Kirk did not deserve to be assassinated. But I am overwhelmed seeing the flags at half-staff, calling this nation

to honor and venerate a man who … spent all of his life sowing seeds of division and hate into this land … of hearing people with selective rage who are mad about Charlie Kirk but didn’t give a damn about Melissa Hortman and her husband when they were shot down in their home.”

Pastor Wesley’s sentiment of “selective rage” provides context for the emotions many of us have felt over the past months: anger at the reaction to the ongoing genocide in Gaza—now recognized by a UN comission of inquiry; sorrow for the (approximately) 38,478 victims of mass shootings in the US in 2025 alone; outrage at the abductions and deportations of at least 1.6 million immigrants as of August, 2025; hopelessness for the censorship of our media and, of course, Kirk’s “martyrdom.”

Although the gun control policies Kirk vehemently opposed were also the ones that could have saved him, no one deserves to die. And yet, we are watching as our government “mourns” Kirk and condemns the gun violence that took his life, while also attempting to sweep the very same violence that took thousands of lives before him under the rug. Trump’s America is one of morbid paradoxes and contradictions: If you condemn gun violence, you must condemn all gun violence.

Achille Mbembe’s theory of “Necropolitics” feels particularly salient as it describes how those in power determine whose lives are worthy of collective mourning, as opposed to those whose lives are expendable or merely another object for our “thoughts and prayers.” Mbembe, a political theorist and professor at the University of Witwatersrand at South Africa, first coined the term in 2003, building on Foucault’s concept of biopower. “Necropolitics” describes how certain racialized populations are subjected to live in places and ways that are synonymous with death, thereby rendering these populations “the walking dead,” in Mbembe’s own words; it describes how power hierarchies determine who lives and dies as a form of biopolitical control. Necropolitics certainly resonates in the treatment of gun violence victims in America: The same day Kirk was shot in Utah, Matthew Silverstone, a student at Evergreen

High School, was similarly attacked just over the hills in Colorado, and remains in critical condition.

Our true enemies are those in power who create those like him and facilitate deep and widespread hatred.

While gun violence has been the leading cause of death among all children since 2020, it goes largely undiscussed that gun violence has also been the leading cause of death among Black and Brown children in America since 2006. Yet, the flag was not flown at half-mast that day for those children of color, and it certainly was not flown for Matthew. Grief was demanded that day for a man who spent his life contributing to the epidemic of gun violence. While Kirk was alive, they used his presence as a vehicle for their hatred, and, now, they are using his death as a pulpit for their extremist agenda. While the Trump administration clearly valued his life over the thousands of other gun violence victims, he is more useful to them now in death than in life.

As a straight, white, cisgender man from the Democratic state of California, I am not in a social position where I am threatened, nor can I make claims on what the “appropriate” use of political violence is, as my privilege shapes the lens through which I view such violence. But this is my message: You cannot defeat an extremist symbol like Charlie Kirk by letting that symbol’s hatred mold you into exactly what the authoritative rule wants you to be. Kirk’s killer did not enact justice, but delivered an even more enhanced weapon; he did not silence him, but amplified all of his harmful rhetoric. This individual transformed a mediocre political instigator into an immortalized, unquestionable icon within the very authoritative security state his killer allegedly sought to dismantle. Now,

Kirk is rendered a martyr for “free speech” and for the demonization of progressiveness as “extremism.” Oh, how the Trump administration will continue to use Kirk’s newfound “martyrdom” to paint every dissenting voice and cry for a more just world as “un-American,” to enhance surveillance, empower the American police state and legitimize every single poisonous thing they, as well as Kirk, ever said. If we were to celebrate Kirk’s death, then all we would do is strengthen the narratives that cause immeasurable harm to our communities.

Yet, we are left with more questions than answers here: What do we do with our anger that we have not already done? How can we express our fear and outrage without resorting to violence? How do we feel hope in the midst of a political and social Armageddon? How do we know when and even if we should feel empathy for anyone who views the very same empathy as weakness? I do not know, but I return to Pastor Wesley for even a semblance of an answer. “How you die does not redeem how you lived. I can abhor the violence that took your life, but I don’t have to celebrate how you chose to live.” We must condemn gun violence as well as Kirk’s murder not only because it furthers the Trump administration’s destruction of our democracy, but because it amplifies the hatred Kirk spread across America.

Indeed, Kirk perpetuated a reprehensible and sadistic caricature of America, devoid of empathy, complexity and the burden of its terrible history. The difficult truth, however, is that the Charlie Kirks of the world are not our enemy. Our true enemies are those in power who create those like him and facilitate deep and widespread hatred. If we do not understand the nature of this reality, then we risk ending up like the Kirks of the world. Kirk was not a “one of a kind” or “groundbreaking” political figure; he was one of many ignorant byproducts of a system that cultivates resentment, rewards spectacle and normalizes political violence as a form of governance. Although Kirk’s killing reflects our anger we are most certainly all feeling, it also spread the embers of the right-wing extremist fire that we seek to extinguish.

Image courtesy of Karen Mogami ’24.

OPINIONS

On dealing with fascists, Jubilee and ignorance

Jacob Cifuentes Opinions Editor

Iwasa sophomore in high school when Roe v. Wade was struck down. My school’s philosophy club held a series of debates about the morality of abortion because there had been instances of volatile clashing between students on social media. Many of my friends attended these debates; most of them were pro-choice, but one of them was an anti-choice Catholic. This particular friend had been receiving anonymous death threats, and people were reporting him to the school’s administration for making a post celebrating the Supreme Court decision. One of these debates was held at a round table, with around 10 to 15 pro-choice students on one side of the table, my friend on the other and a large audience sitting elsewhere around the room. I decided to sit next to him while still grilling him that night. The idea of challenging him—even poking fun at his viewpoints—was a better method to get him to understand the harm in his views than simply deplatforming him. I had been motivated by the thought that it was okay to have friends who have wrong views—at least in my pro-choice perspective—as long as you actively try to bring them out of those views.

Jubilee is a popular YouTube channel that claims to “Provoke understanding & create human connection,” despite its weekly cycle of controversy and criticism. They have a series called “Surrounded,” which features a prominent commentator debating what are assumed to be random people off the street but are actually smaller influencers them-

selves. In a video from March titled “1 Progressive vs. 20 Trump Supporters (Feat. Sam Seder),” an interlocutor stated that nonwhite people in the United States “should assimilate…[into] European and Christian values and identity” and then affirmed that President Trump is not xenophobic enough for her. In another video from July, “1 Progressive vs 20 Far-Right Conservatives (ft. Mehdi Hasan),” an influencer named Connor, after failing to explicitly condemn the Holocaust, admitted he was a fascist. The audience applauded.

After these videos went viral, there were plenty of criticisms online of Jubilee for platforming these people with undeniably hateful views. Mike Burns from Wisecrack argued that the debates incite and validate inflammatory rhetoric from the participants. Redditor honeyfage says, “It’s designed to generate rage bait, not any kind of serious discussion.” Rage bait is a type of content that uses offensive or absurd state -

Battling that ignorance is the ultimate compassion.

ments to generate attention and interactions online. Garrison Hayes on TikTok accuses Jubilee of silently placing the same outspokenly far-right influencers in multiple of their videos to generate the sensationalism that the channel benefits from every week. I agree with all these criticisms. Platforming

and validating fascists, and even portraying them as simply “conservatives” is as dishonest as it is ethically questionable. Yet, a question remains: Is there a better possibility for dialogue with hateful and ignorant people?

In the Buddhist Vimalakirti Sutra, an enlightened being in disguise as a merchant— Vimalakirti—lives in Vaishali, India. He was said to enter casinos, brothels, government buildings and liquor stores despite the general Buddhist aversion towards gambling, sex work, politics and alcohol consumption. Vimalakirti did not seek to engage in these activities, but rather to discuss philosophy with their regulars. He was known to visit the “places of debate in order to guide others to the Great Vehicle,” otherwise known as the aspiration to save all beings from suffering. In this story, he debates and converses with people, not to be right, but to alleviate the greatest illness of all: ignorance. Buddhism holds that all beings are lost in a cycle of dissatisfaction, and the only way to reach a permanent solution is to let go of wrong views that stem from ignorance.

Say one’s goal is to facilitate the birth of a better world or to exterminate the scourges they see, not only on the news but in their personal lives and relationships as well. Arguing with fascists to show off how right you are is then the wrong move. The theory behind the method should be to view debate as an act of radical compassion. If we are arguing about how you believe mentally ill and homeless people should be executed—like how Brian Kilmeade of Fox News remarked recently, per CNN—my motive should not be to make myself feel like a smarter or better person than you. That is the trap that I

have seen almost all other people, including myself, fall into during debates. It often leads to an “agree to disagree” stalemate. The battle of ideas becomes a battle of who can be the loudest, and eventually no concrete conclusion is reached, and everyone involved is left agitated. The better motive should be to meet someone where they are, regardless of how bigoted or nihilistic they are. It should be to show them that we can accept notions of universal humanity without losing the sort of dignity that many of these white supremacists and transphobes are yearning for.

In the Gospel of Matthew, Jesus says, “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy. But I say to you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you”(Matthew 5:4344). When Jesus says “love,” he does not necessarily mean you have to like your enemies the way that they are. I do not have to look at someone who sees me as inhuman because I am Latino and say “I love you!”, but I need to see their humanity and allow mine to shine to them reciprocally. Battling that ignorance is the ultimate compassion.

Compassion is a transformative virtue because extending it from oneself to others can have a tangible effect on the mindsets and behaviors of those to whom you extend it. Spiritually speaking, you should not be accepting everyone for who they are, as if they have some intrinsic qualities of chauvinism and foolishness. People can evolve out of those qualities, and if you get the chance to have a relationship with one of these types of people, you have the honor of helping them evolve.

Is New York Fashion Week dead?

Ari Nonko guest Columnist

Is New York Fashion Week (NYFW) dead? Fashion’s favorite snark account seems to think so. On Sept. 14, just three days into the show calendar, Instagram user @boringnotcom proclaimed New York Fashion Week “dead.” Indeed, with more and more American designers electing to display their collections off the pre-ordained fashion calendar or overseas, the question must be raised—is NYFW truly dead? For decades, NYFW has represented a pivotal platform for both established and emerging American designers. As one of the “Big 4” global fashion weeks, the event sees designers stage and showcase their collections on a pre-set calendar schedule.

I do not think so. At least, that is not what the numbers are saying. Looking at calculated Media Impact Value (MIV)—a metric quantifying the monetary worth of media attention garnered across print, online and social media platforms—the Spring 2026 iteration of the event generated an estimated $340.3 million. This represents a five percent increase from Spring 2025. While not initially appearing significant, this preliminary estimate is expected to continue to grow as the season marches on. If anything, the data suggests the opposite of a decline. From American mainstay Ralph Lauren to Ib Kamara’s cutting-edge Off-White, prominent collections this season have managed to command and capitalize on media attention.

The argument that NYFW is “dead” rests firmly in nostalgia-addled blindness and a misunderstanding of the undercurrents that have driven change in the industry. Long gone are front rows exclusively pop-

ulated by industry insiders, buyers and the traditional media of the early 2000s. Social media and, by extension, the creator economy have reconstituted fashion such that it is inherently more accessible. For better or worse, the industry has been democratized—designers now operate with the understanding that the reach of their presentations extends far beyond the runway. As such, changes rendered to the structure and organization of fashion spaces—particularly surrounding the addition of influencers—do not translate to NYFW’s alleged decrease in prestige and relevance, but rather an emphasis on inclusivity.

This season had high highs: Nicholas Aburn delivered a strong debut at Area, marked by tinsel, sparkles and sequins.

At Khaite, I felt Catherine Holstein’s experimentation with modification and reconstruction paid off. This season’s show successfully expanded the brand’s design language, while staying true to established house codes. I was particularly impressed

For decades, NYFW has represented a pivotal platform for both established and emerging American designers.

by Hillary Taymour’s continued commitment to sustainable practices at Collina Strada. Taymour’s play with volume and silhouette manifested in a show that was equally opulent and chaotic, yet also poignantly political in its commentary on

historic and present marginalization. The creativity and soul behind each and every one of the aforementioned presentations, among countless others, serves as a clear reminder that NYFW is still imbued with life and creativity.

Celebrity turnout was also impressive. The breakout stars, Nick Vansteenberghe and Olandria Carthen of hit reality television series “Love Island,” graced the front row of several shows, with Carthen walking for Sergio Hudson. Christopher Briney of “The Summer I Turned Pretty,” Britt Lower of “Severance” and Lily Collins of “Emily in Paris” all appeared at Veronica Leoni’s Calvin Klein, completing a star-studded front row including the likes of musical artists Jungkook, Rosalía and Solange. From Sofia Coppola’s “Chanel Haute Couture” book launch to the Usher-hosted debut of Ralph Lauren’s latest fragrance, culture continues to be made in and around the city. If there is any indication that NYFW is alive and well, it is the continued presence of prominent faces at events and shows alike.

The week was not without lows, however. Alleged sex offender Alexander Wang made a ‘triumphant’ return to the runway, delivering what can, at best, be described as a poor riff on SKIMS x Dolce Gabbana. Faux fur for a summer season? So subversive! The collection, titled “The Matriarch”, was certainly not befitting of any actual “alpha female.” Do microskirts and puffed up collars really embody that “strength, complexity and power,” which Wang ascribes to the mystical figure of the matriarch? The presence of stars like Cardi B and Martha Stewart were not enough to distract from the obvious deficiencies of the presentation. If this is all Wang has to show for himself after seven years of self-imposed exile, the question

must be asked: Is fashion done with Wang? Gwyneth Paltrow also announced the launch of fashion line GWYN. The lifestyle mogul, well-known for some of Goop’s more eccentric offerings—the exploding va-

Long gone are front rows exclusively populated by industry insiders, buyers and the traditional media of the early 2000s.

gina candle comes to mind—has previously ventured into the industry by way of her now-defunct fashion line, G. GWYN also echoes Kylie Jenner’s 2023 foray into fast fashion, KHY. From its launch in October of 2023, KHY has endured a number of controversies, including accusations of theft and poor garment quality. Celebrity fashion lines are already horrifically oversaturated. Unless Paltrow can offer a new and interesting perspective, GWYN may quickly join the ranks of House of Deréon, Sweetface and Abbey Dawn.

So no, New York Fashion Week is not dead, not in any sense of the word. It is different, sure—but it is alive and well. If you are still longing for the “good old days” of NYFW in the early 2000s, you are bound to be disappointed. Dismissing NYFW as irrelevant simply because of changes to the structure of fashion spaces belies a fundamental misunderstanding of where fashion is going, and who fashion is for. Albeit with a little less cocaine and many more influencers, NYFW is here to stay.

Brewers Ballin’: Kaplan explodes in Brewer win

Our goal with Brewers Ballin’ is to feature Vassar athletes who starred for their team the week previous to publishing. If you would like to nominate an athlete, please email hfrance@vassar.edu.

Brewers Ballin’

Name: Holland Kaplan ’27 [Disclaimer: Kaplan is Assistant Sports Editor for The Miscellany News]

Team: Women’s Volleyball

Year: Junior

Stats: The former Liberty League first time outside hitter returned to form this weekend in a dominating performance against Johnson and Wales University (Providence). In the five-set heater, Kaplan tallied 13 digs and a match-high 19 kills, hitting a scorching .395 (EA).

Statement: “It’s been an amazing year so far. Our team winning our first five set game really proved our resilience is not a force to be reckoned with. I am excited for conference play to start and I cannot wait to see everyone shine on the court!”

Recently in Vassar Brewers sports

Valle Garners Liberty League Rookie Of The Week

Vassar Midfielder Elena Valle ’29 earns the first honor of her career after a four point week including one goal and two assists.

Women’s Golf Secures Fifth at Union Fall Invitational

Sophia Calvillo ’27 led the Brewers with an 11th place finish over the two-day event.

Feudtner Named Liberty League Rookie Of The Week

Cate Feudtner ’29 propelled the Brewers to a first place team finish following her individual title at the Fred Pavlich Invitational.

Holland Kaplan/The Miscellany News.

Brewer athletics return for autumn action

Continued from Fall on page 1

end, the team straddled its efforts between the Pre-National Invitational in Spartansburg, South Carolina, and the Fred Pavlich Invitation at Bard College, where they earned a second-place and first-place finish, respectively. These results bode well for the team as they look to build on last year’s success. With about two months and five races remaining in their season, the women’s cross country team will aim to keep the energy high.

Men’s Cross Country

The men’s cross country team is eager to build on its momentum from last season and has come out of the gates with determination. To open their season, the Brewers finished second and third at the Vassar Season Starter and Ron Stonitsch Invitational, respectively. A week later, the squad finished in the middle of the pack at the Pre-National Invitational down south while putting together a solid third-place finish out of nine at Bard. Sean Miller ’27 has been pounding the pavement for the Brewers, earning back-to-back first-place finishes to start the year before snatching a top-10 finish at the competitive Pre-National Invitational. As racing action ramps up in October, the team will look to open up its stride and continue to own the podium.

Women’s Volleyball

Under first-year head coach Tyler Blank, the Brewers have started their 2025 campaign with renewed energy, winning eight of their first ten games. After graduating five seniors in 2025, Blank has brought on seven first-years to bolster the squad. Al-

though many of the first-years have seen the court, the upper-class leadership has set the standard. On the pins, the Brewers have relied on veterans Maura McAusland ’27 and Holland Kaplan ’27 [Disclaimer: Kaplan is Assistant Sports Editor for The Miscellany News]. The dynamic duo led the team in kills, each eclipsing triple digits through ten matches. Running the offense, setter Francesca Medrano ’27 has dished out a cool 9.27 assists per set thanks to the steady serve-receive and defense of libero Ellie Kogan ’26.

Kogan leads the team in digs and digs per set. This Brewers squad is the most well-rounded in recent memory, and the combination of veteran experience and first-year talent should make the Brewers a contender in the Liberty League and beyond this season.

Women’s soccer

This fall, the women’s soccer team started the season with five straight wins, outscoring opponents 17-3 over the stretch. For the hot start, they earned a 23 overall Division III national ranking. Over their past games, they fell in a tight battle to a highly-touted Middlebury squad and NYU team in two one-score matches. The team hopes to steady, with nine consecutive Liberty League matches coming up over the next few weeks. On the offensive side, the Brewers have been led by Sonya Franklin ’29, Riley McGrath ’26 and Ava Holman ’29, who account for 12 of the squad’s 22 total goals, with four each. Holman has been recognized by the Liberty League with both Offensive Player of the Week Honor and Rookie of the Week Honor. Heading into conference action, the squad will look to

build on its early-season success.

Men’s soccer

After winning the Liberty League 11 months ago, the men’s soccer team is eager to keep the momentum going. The first six games, however, have been turbulent for the Brewers. Half of the squad’s first games have been against nationally recognized teams: a tough schedule, no doubt. Moreover, all but one of the team’s first six games have been within one goal or less. It has been a gritty start to the season that has tested the lads’ resilience, and after six games, they sit at 3-2-1. The team hopes to find its footing before opening up Liberty League play on Saturday, Sept. 27, against Ithaca College—a squad that has denied the Brewers points in two straight years.

Women’s tennis

The women’s tennis team had a strong showing at the Poughkeepsie scramble, one of the two contests in their fall campaign. On the weekend of Sept. 12, the Brewers faced Marist, Bates, Hamilton, New Paltz and Smith. The squad earned a singles victory against Marist while sweeping Smith in singles play. In doubles play, Vassar dominated, topping Marist’s top flight and notching two wins against Smith. The next day, the Brewers took on Bates and Hamilton, sweeping Bates in singles play, winning all six of their matches while topping Hamilton in each of their top three flights. In the final day of play, the Brewers took on Hamilton and New Paltz. Vassar earned wins in their top six singles matches against Hamilton, with hard-fought victories in the top two spots. Against the Hawks from across the

river, the squad dominated for five singles wins and three doubles victories. Erin McCusker ’26, Sieun Lee ’28 and Iris Li ’26 highlighted the Brewers’ action with strong performances over the weekend.

Field Hockey

The field hockey team looks to build its momentum this year and has done so, demonstrating fortitude against strong competition. After a rocky start to their season, the squad found its footing with three straight victories and now sits at 4-3 with a perfect 3-0 record on home turf. Leading the Brewers’ efforts has been midfielder/ forward Zoe Robinson ’28 and forward/midfielder Sofia Beseth ’26, with 20 total points between the two. In about a week, the team begins Liberty League play against Ithaca College on Friday, Oct. 3, gearing up for another gritty season.

Golf

The women’s golf team has endured a challenging fall season. The Brewers competed at two tournaments this season: the Saint Lawrence University Invitational and the Union College Invitational. The squad took a fifth-place finish at both, finishing out of six at the Canton contest and out of five in Schenectady. Heading into the second half of their fall campaign, the team hopes to tee up a strong finish. While the 2024-2025 season was one for the record books for Vassar Athletics, the early-season results for 2025-2026 indicate that the best may actually be ahead. With championship experience, new talent and a desire to raise the bar even higher, 20252026 will be an exciting year for the Brewers!

NFL set for year of magic

The wait is finally over. Fall is here, school is back in session, and the NFL is back: just what we have all been waiting for. A new season is upon us, which means new storylines to follow. Will the defending champion Philadelphia Eagles solidify themselves as a dynasty? Will a new champion emerge victorious? Here are the most compelling storylines to follow this NFL season.

A Dynasty Faltering

The Kansas City Chiefs have been on top of the NFL an unimaginable amount of times over the past six years, but just as they were getting ready to potentially win their third straight title, they were brutally crushed by the Philadelphia Eagles in the Super Bowl. The Chiefs did not get their ring, but superstar tight end Travis Kelce got his. Kelce’s relationship with global pop phenomenon Taylor Swift has taken the world by storm, and this summer, they finally got engaged. After an engagement photo shoot seemingly out of a fairy tale, “Swifties” and Chiefs fans alike have been in extremely high spirits. The Chiefs, however, have started off the season 0-2 for the first time in Patrick Mahomes’ already illustrious career. Will Travis’ ring be enough to pull the Chiefs back to the top?

The Reigning Champs

The Philadelphia Eagles have been enjoying life after their massive Super Bowl LIX victory over the Chiefs. This was quarterback Jalen Hurts’ first Super Bowl win and a revenge game after their Super Bowl LVII loss to the same foe. They have started off the season 2-0 with a Week 2 win in a Super Bowl rematch game against the Chiefs. The Eagles are infamous for their play “the Tush Push” where every player on the field piles up in the center and shoves the quarterback

over the line to gain. It is a play that the Eagles have perfected, almost succeeding every time, but it is also very controversial due to risk of injury and an “unfair advantage” for the Eagles. Recently, NFL social media has been buzzing over new footage claiming that the Eagles offensive linemen often false start while running the tush push. It seems like a lot of NFL fans are getting tired of the Eagles dominance, but will they become the new dynasty?

Young Quarterbacks Taking Over

The NFL has entered a completely new age of quarterbacks with almost 70 percent of the starting quarterbacks being under the age of 30. The most notable draft class of recent years has been the 2024 draft class with a whopping six starting quarterbacks from the first round. The No. 1 overall pick of the Chicago Bears, 23-year-old Caleb Williams, was hailed as one of the most talented prospects we have ever seen, but he has yet to show it actually translates to wins in the NFL. The Bears have started off 0-2 with two divisional losses, so we will see if Williams is able to bounce back.

24-year-old Jayden Daniels was the second pick by the Washington Commanders and had by far the best rookie season of the six, winning Offensive Rookie of the Year and leading his team to the NFC Championship for the first time since 1991. Despite all this, there have still been many questions about if it was a fluke, so Daniels has been looking to prove himself as a top quarterback in the league this year.

The third pick by the New England Patriots was 23-year-old Drake Maye who had a decent rookie season stat-wise but was not able to bring home a lot of wins. The Patriots went 3-14, and it was clear that the roster needed a lot of work in order to win games. With the signing of new coach and former Patriots

player Mike Vrabel, as well as some big free agent signings (wide receivers Stefon Diggs and Mack Hollins) and draft picks (offensive tackle Will Cambell and running back Treveyon Henderson), the Patriots are looking to find their first playoff win in the post-Tom Brady era.

25-year-old Bo Nix was the 12th pick by the Denver Broncos and is probably the most underrated in this class. He sneakily led the Broncos to a playoff appearance last season while also being a finalist for Rookie of the Year. The Broncos are starting off this year at 1-1 with Nix hoping to lead his squad back to the playoffs

22-year-old JJ McCarthy and 24-year-old Michael Penix both did not start a game in their rookie season, so they are hoping to make their mark on the league this year. McCarthy led the Minnesota Vikings to a Week 1 win against their divisional opponent Chicago but then fell to Penix’s Atlanta Falcons in Week 2. Both quarterbacks are hungry to prove themselves among the already decorated 2024 quarterback class.

The Faces of the League

It is crazy to think of them as veterans now, but these guys are all playoff-tested and the faces of the league. Josh Allen (Buffalo Bills), Lamar Jackson (Baltimore Ravens) and Justin Herbert (Los Angeles Chargers) have all proved themselves as top quarterbacks in the league, but there is one other thing they all have in common: They are all still missing a Super Bowl win.

Allen is the reigning MVP of the league, coming off of one of his best seasons ever. He is a two-time All Pro and three-time Pro Bowler but has yet to accomplish the true goal of bringing home the first ever Super Bowl ring for the Buffalo Bills. While it was less publicized than the Kelce-Swift engagement, Allen married actress and singer Hailee Stein-

feld this summer. The Bills are already off to a hot 3-0 start, and Allen is looking to finally make it out of the AFC Championship game and to his first Super Bowl.

Lamar Jackson is already a Heisman Trophy winner, two-time MVP and two-time first team All Pro at the age of 28. He is the head of one of the most fast-paced offenses in the NFL, alongside superstar running back Derrick Henry. The Ravens were just edged (41-40) by Allen’s Bills in their opening game, but they were able to bounce back and put up another 40-piece against the Commanders in Week 2 to bring their record up to 1-1. If the Ravens continue to score at such a high level, they will be a tough team to stop.

The Los Angeles Chargers have always been in the shadow of their big brother, the Los Angeles Rams, but Chargers quarterback Justin Herbert is ready to prove to the residents of Los Angeles who their true team should be. They have also often been in the shadow of the Kansas City Chiefs, their division rival, but the Chargers opened up the 2025 season with a win against them. Herbert has made many milestones in his young career, such as most passing touchdowns for a rookie ever and most passing yards through a player’s first five seasons, but Herbert is still looking for his first playoff win.

Armaan’s Locks

[Disclaimer: This is not gambling advice.]

This NFL season has already gotten off to a crazy start with upsets, spectacular catches, long touchdowns and game winners. It is impossible to know what is going to happen as the season progresses, but here are my locks: Buffalo Bills Super Bowl Champs: +550

Philadelphia Eagles NFC Champs: +350

Lamar Jackson NFL MVP: +350

** SLEEPER PICK **

New England Patriots to make the playoffs: +120

Armaan Desai Columnist

Breaking down my way too early NBA contender predictions

Ben Kaplan Assistant Arts Editor

The 2025-2026 NBA season is shaping up to be quite interesting and, ultimately, very unpredictable. The Oklahoma City Thunder, though dominant in the regular season and first round, were pushed to their limits in the playoffs by the injured Denver Nuggets and then an over-achieving Indiana Pacers team. This defeat showed that, despite the incredibly deep, young roster built by Sam Presti, the Thunder are beatable. The biggest development remains that the Eastern Conference, which was already very weak last season, has never been more vulnerable and open. The dominant Boston Celtics are bracing for a down year following Jayson Tatum’s Achilles tear and the departures of Kristaps Porzingis, Jrue Holiday and Luke Kornet. Additionally, the “miraculously good in the playoffs” Pacers have hit two major speedbumps: assist-machine Tyrese Haliburton’s Achilles tear and the backstabbing departure of vital center Myles Turner after he forgot how to shoot during the entire finals series. What this leaves the league with is a relatively unknowable post-season that will be preceded by a regular season that will not tell the whole story on who will ultimately be lifting the Larry O’Brien Championship Trophy next summer. Here are the teams I am predicting to have a shot.

The Western Conference

Oklahoma City Thunder: Going backto-back has never been harder. Injuries already afflicted this team last season, but they pushed through, even with Chet Holmgren and Isaiah Hartenstein missing a good deal of games. Shai Gilgeous-Alexander, if continuing to win and put up video game numbers, might snag another MVP. However, it remains unlikely if Nikola Jokic clicks with the Nuggets’ newer members, Giannis Antetokounmpo drags a terrible Bucks to the playoffs, or another star like Donovan Mitchell breaks through. Jalen Williams and Holmgren will have to grow offensively to keep the Thunder safe in the post-season, which should not be too hard considering their youth. Team cohesion could get a little tricky with various players like Aaron Wiggins, Cason Wallace and Alex Caruso having an unclear future now that the super-max extensions have been extended to the Thunder’s major stars and will kick in over the next few seasons. They will almost definitely dominate the regular season. Repeating is likely if injuries do not pile up and young stars continue to develop. Denver Nuggets: Jokic is the best player in the world. Having him on your team makes you viable for a championship or, at the very least, the conference finals. Injuries to

vital role players Aaron Gordon and Micheal Porter Jr. kept down the team last season, but they still pushed the eventual champion Thunder to seven games. This offseason has been huge though. From being one of the shallowest teams in the NBA last season, the Nuggets are now deep and flexible. The highly inconsistent—and terrible podcaster—Porter Jr. got flipped into elite role player Cam Thomas, and bench filler Dario Saric was then flipped for Jonas Valancunias, one of the best back-up centers on the market for Jokic. Then, in free agency, the bench got veteran leadership—plus nostalgia for their 2023 championship—in Bruce Brown. They followed this by throwing in Tim Hardaway Jr. who is coming off of a career revival season in Detroit. Jamal Murray and Gordon remain foundational role players, and Braun has blossomed into a true, athletic starter. If healthy, I see this team as the kryptonite to a Thunder hoping to repeat.

Houston Rockets: This is a big what-if. Trading out your number one option is always a big risk, but Jalen Green had to go. A return of an admittedly old, but still highly efficient, Kevin Durant is also huge. In one move, the Rockets acquired veteran leadership, a real force to move the offense through and a winning culture, considering Durant’s MVP win, two rings and two finals MVPs. Amen Thompson and Alperen Sengun are a young duo that any other team in the league would kill for, and Jabari Smith Jr. plus Tari Eason gives even more rising talent. Minor moves—such as moving on from bench talent like Cam Whitmore—makes it even more clear that the search for who will be valuable for the team is over, and it is time for the Rockets to win. The defense will be terrifying with Thompson, Dorian Finney-Smith as a solid backup and a center room of Steven Adams, Clint Capela and Sengun. Durant’s addition will hopefully fix last season’s subpar offense, which was the team’s ultimate downfall in the first round after an impressive placement at the second seed. They are competitors, but the vibes will have to be there by the All-Star break.

Honorable mentions

San Antonio Spurs: Great new draft additions in Dylan Harper and Carter Bryant, and Victor Wembanyama is a top pick for Defensive Player of the Year (DPOY). Plus, they added Luke Kornet as a good backup to Wemby and a bench leader. However, the De’Aaron Fox extension will constrain them later on; taking on Kelly Olynyk’s large contract was just plain dumb. They will make a push for the playoffs and will most likely make it, but their ceiling right now is the second round. Maybe it will be the conference finals if Harper competes for Rookie of the Year.

Dallas Mavericks: Texas is looking crazy this season. The Mavericks have an unreal level of talent right now but also a fractured culture and the most expensive roster in the league after a tumultuous season involving the infamous Luka Dončić trade. Will this team be good? I have no clue. That itself comes with many other questions. Will Kyrie come back this season from his ACL tear?

Will Anthony Davis finally be healthy? Will D’Angelo Russell continue being terrible? Will Daniel Gafford and Derrick Lively keep being a good center room? And, the big one, will Cooper Flagg live up to the hype? We will see.

The Eastern Conference

Cleveland Cavaliers: Theoretically, this team should win it all, at least in the East. Evan Mobley and Jarrett Allen are the best duo of bigs in the league right now with Mobley transforming the team with his defense and rightfully earning DPOY last year. Donovan Mitchell, despite the embarrassment brought by the Pacers, still showed in the second round last playoffs that he can control the flow of offense in any given playoff game. The offseason’s effects were minimal apart from losing Ty Jerome, which was unfortunate, but they luckily traded a mediocre bench piece in Isaac Okoro for Lonzo Ball. Darius Garland, Ball and De’Andre Hunter’s health are the big questions for this team. If everything comes together, the Cavs should run the regular season again and outmatch everyone in the East. Another disappointing playoffs collapse would be catastrophic due to the absolutely insane amount of money going into this roster.

New York Knicks: If there is one team that can scare the Cavaliers from the get-go in the East, it is this Knicks team. After the big move off of Julius Randle and into Karl-Anthony Towns, this team underperformed just slightly in the regular season last year but bullied their way to the conference finals. This is an erratic team, which in the current state of chaotic playoffs, can spell doom or a trophy. It does help that their starting lineup is one of the most talented in the league, if not the most. Though controversial, getting rid of Tom Thibodeau as coach will likely benefit the team, especially creating more cohesion between the elite starters and the bench with new head coach Mike Brown. The biggest shake-up for the Knicks roster has been the bench additions of stretch four Guerschon Yabusele and high-scoring Sixth Man Jordan Clarkson. The final addition to their bench at the moment is Malcolm Brogden who, like Clarkson, is a former Sixth Man of the Year, showing that the Knicks immediate focus right now is greater depth. Hopefully for the Knicks, these three—and development from

Miles McBride and Landry Shamet—will add flexibility with their starters. Like the Cavaliers, their expectation should be the finals. Their floor should be the conference finals again. I trust them less, but in a wide open East, they would need to mess up hard or have Jalen Brunson get whacked by the New York mafia to falter heavily.

Orlando Magic: Previously stuck in the mediocre limbo of the East, the Magic made a big swing on a young, valuable player this off-season in Desmond Bane. A truly great shooter with space to grow, Bane joins one of the best young cores in Orlando. Paolo Banchero and Franz Wagner have faults, but they are young and hungry. If both take a jump next season, they do have a path to make a deep playoff run. Anthony Black and Jonathan Isaac are great bench pieces, and if Jalen Suggs and Wendell Carter Jr. remain healthy, this team could easily develop into something greater. Do I believe they have what it takes yet? No. A miraculous run to the finals is possible, but they will get destroyed by whomever they meet unless Banchero uses his muscles to beat up the other players on the court.

Atlanta Hawks: This is a similar case to Orlando. They got Porzingis for basically nothing. Jalen Johnson, if fully healthy, is set up to be one of the best power forwards in the game. Dyson Daniels, coming off of his Most Improved Player run, will continue to be a ball-stealing menace. Zaccharie Risacher, though still a bit of a let-down for a No. 1 pick, has continued to develop nicely and will bring this team some good, young twoway play. The bench is also filled with young talent in Nickeil Alexander-Walker, Onyeka Okongwu, and the newly acquired Luke Kennard. If Trae Young and a recovered Porzingis can connect on offense, this team has a high ceiling in this weak East.

Honorable Mentions

I really do not know. The Bucks have Giannis and got Turner, but that is really it. The Detroit Pistons have Cade Cunningham, Jaden Ivey and Jalen Duran but still lack the true depth and experience to make it past the second round. Other than that, the Miami Heat, Toronto Raptors, Chicago Bulls, Brooklyn Nets, Washington Wizards and Charlotte Hornets all remain in rebuild mode or limbo. The only relevant team with a shot is the Philadelphia 76ers. If Joel Embiid remains healthy and Paul George can give some push, this team can compete, but there are so many open questions. Tyrese Maxey, Jared McCain and VJ Edgecomb are a good young core along with Adem Bona and Ricky Council IV, but the lack of a trustable first option keeps their ceiling unknowable until we see how their starters fare when the season rolls around.

The Miscellany Crosswords

“Hear Hear”

By: Julian Balsley and Avery Epstein

ACROSS

1. Fitting

4. Ira of “This American Life”

6. Protected by, with “under the”

7. Big shrimp

8. Boom!

DOWN

1. Vigilant

2. Roman religion

3. This clue has one

4. “Mind the _____!”

5. Do not share it

“Keep it Artsy”

By: Madeleine Nicks and Aurelia Harrison

ACROSS

1. Author of “The Island of Dr. Moreau”, abbrv.

4. Liz’s assistant on 30 Rock

6. What your romcom protagonist can’t be, in the end

7. Jack of “The Holiday” and “High Fidelity”

8. The “O” in “OTP”

DOWN

1. “You had me at ___”

2. Vocal reaction to Elle in The Kissing Booth, maybe

3. Facial reaction to Jeremiah in TSITP, maybe 4. You hail it 5. “Aah!”

Answers to last week’s crossword

“First Impressions” By: Sadie Keesbury

GAMES

By: Josie Wenner

In the word bank below, there are 16 words that belong to four categories. Each word belongs to only one category. You don’t know which words belong together, nor do you know what the categories are! Try to find similarities between them, and place them into four categories below. Answers (which words belong together, as well as the categories they belong to) will be revealed in next week’s issue. Have fun!

Example category:

ACROSS

WORD BANK

BAT BADGER BELONGING BASKET BORE BRAVERY BEE BOTHER BROOM BELIEVE BONOBO BE YOURSELF BASES BEAVER BUG BALL

1. IATA code for smaller airport in Scotland city where Al Gore once spoke at a climate conference

4. Prestigious peace prize Al Gore won in 2007

6. Steve ___, Chief Counsel and State Director for Al Gore when Gore was a senator

7. Al Gore’s climate-conscious diet of choice

8. The action Al Gore did against George W. Bush in the 2000 presidential election (present tense)

DOWN

1. What Al Gore could have possessed had he won the 2000 election

4. Month presidential election occurs in, abbreviated

2. “I beseech thee,” informally. IE, imploring someone to vote for Al Gore

3. SNL cast member Thompson who once appeared in a skit with Al Gore

5. Abbreviation for larynx nerve condition (that hypothetically could produce a sexy voice like Al Gore’s)

1: Toyota Car Models COROLLA PRIUS TACOMA HIGHLANDER

“B COOL”

“Al Gore 2028”

By: Carina Cole and Emma daRosa