Misc.05.13.21

The Miscellany News May 13, 2021

miscellanynews.org

Vassar College’s student newspaper of record since 1866 Volume 155 | Issue 11

Mug Night snafu leaves confusion, doubts in wake Confessions page reveals O gossip Annabelle Wang News Editor

n the evening of Saturday, April 24, Vassar’s annual Middle School Mug Night was abruptly shut down by Campus Activities officials due to crowd control issues and violations of COVID-19 guidelines. The events that unfolded at Middle School Mug Night led to the subsequent cancellation of the Misc Music Festival and has left the Vassar student body uncertain about the fate of other major campus-sponsored events.

Middle School Mug Night, a concert held on Ballantine Field, rapidly grew overwhelmed as more and more students gathered, making it increasingly difficult for the audience to follow social distancing guidelines. Amidst the confusion, a video of the scene was sent to President Elizabeth Bradley who called Associate Director of Campus Activities Will Rush and other Campus Activities Office representatives to shut down the event, according to VCDJ Co-President Lucy Posner ’21.

In a written statement sent to the Miscellany News, Dean Carlos Alamo-Pastrana declared the official reason for the termination

Inside this issue

Olivia Gross

Guest Reporter

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Juliette Pope/The Miscellany News of the event: “We [Vassar administration] always work to be flexible with students when it is appropriate to do so. The challenge with the Middle School Mug night is that the event was overwhelmed with a large number of students within a very small window which limited any flexibility.”

According to Posner, the host of the event, Vassar College DJs (VCDJ), received backlash on so-

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Monika Sweeny reports on why Lathrop House had ten fire alarms FEATURES in one week, and how its residents reacted.

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Carly D'Antonio discusses how to tell your parents you HUMOR have been rejected from every summer internship.

music and promoting the show.

“We’re not in charge of how the security is going to work, how SARC [Student Activities Resource Center] is going to work the security.”

When asked about the College’s official event-planning policy, Alamo-Pastrana wrote, “Crowd control for events is managed collaboratively by Campus Activities, Safety and Security and, at times, See Mug Night on page 4

Dutchess County COVID-19 vaccine rates stagnate Danielle Recco

Nina Ajemian explores Spud Cannon's new single, "You've ARTS got it all (NOT)."

Check out her interviews with the student musicians.

cial media from students for the Mug Night incident. Posner defended the organization: “I don’t appreciate the onus being placed entirely on us … Our number one priority is keeping the regulations while also making this semester feel somewhat normal and fun.”

She claimed that when it comes to organizing Mug Night, VCDJ is only responsible for setting up their equipment, playing the

ake up babe new Vassar confessions just dropped.

On March 21, 2021, dozens of Vassar students’ Instagram stories displayed this message as their owners clamored to read the mountain of new confessions posted to the infamous account.

It’s somewhere to reveal all of your secrets. A place for thoughts too personal to even write in your journal at risk of your roommate accidentally catching a glimpse. This is, of course, @vassar.confessions, an Instagram page that displays 1,862 posts containing anonymous confessions from current students, prospective students and random Internet onlookers.

With 928 followers and a beaming photo of President Bradley as the profile picture, this page holds immense power over the student body. Some of See Vassar on page 7

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Guest reporter

his past April has seen the fewest recorded number of COVID-19 cases in Dutchess County since last November, with an average of 83.8 cases per day. As of this past week, there were no

COVID-19 related deaths in the county for the first time since last October. Despite 35.7 percent of the county’s residents receiving both doses of the vaccine, hesitancy regarding the coronavirus vaccine remains among some residents in Dutchess County. The

question remains as to how the county will encourage more residents to receive the vaccine and contribute to herd immunity in the United States, which will be reached when 70-85 percent of the nation’s population is immune from the virus. According to Rep-

resentative Sean Patrick Maloney (D-NY), New York as a whole “has seen an 18 percent drop in administered doses over the past couple of weeks, going from 1.2 million vaccine doses administered last week to 1.5 million the previous week.”

Vassar Track confronts accusations of abuse [TW: This article discusses sexual assault and abuse on campus.]

This is a collaborative piece written by various members of Vassar’s Track & Field team and approved by all members. All accounts of abuse are written by the survivors (names are pseudonyms) themselves. n Friday, April 9, our momentum started to build.

Grace courageously shared her story with the men’s team captain, explaining how she had quit the team due to a betrayal of trust by our coach and a desire to separate herself from her assaulter. Her assaulter was still on the team, surrounded by friends unknowing of the abuse.

The captain knew of two other survivors, one of which was Delaney. Both had the same abuser.

With Grace’s permission, he reached out to his fellow captains to initiate a conversation about what kind of culture our team enables, specifically as a men’s team. His top priority was the safety of his teammates, especially the women’s team, and for the team to stop supporting someone with a serial pattern of

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sexual misconduct.

Team leadership asked to meet with the coaching staff concerning these serious allegations. Soon afterward, on April 16, a conversation uncovered a fourth survivor who wasn’t on the team. We transitioned from just wanting a conversation with the coaches, to identifying a clear and present danger on the team that needed to be removed. Over the course of that day, the number of survivors we knew of rose to six. It seemed that every couple of hours the team was finding out about another victim.

We have been careful to keep their identities and situations confidential, discussing specifics only in cases where the survivors are willing to share parts of their stories. Fearing for our teammates’ safety, and with the survivors’ permission, those of us who knew of the situation began to speak with those who didn’t, generating support for the survivors and solidarity towards removing the abuser from our team environment. We began calling the rest of the team the night be-

fore our mock meet, which was scheduled for April 17. We continued making phone calls the morning of, to make sure that the team was aware of the situation.

We could no longer live with ourselves and compete next to a serial abuser with a history of sexual misconduct.

When team leadership arrived at the meet, we met with the coaches and said in no uncertain terms that the team refused to compete with this person. This decision was made with the entire team, many of whom had proactively boycotted the meet.

We argued that this individual created a toxic social environment on the team and needed to be removed. To our immense relief, we were successful. The abuser was removed from the team, and we collectively decided to cancel the meet in order to process and support each other.

On Saturday night, though many felt unsettled by the day's events, we knew a step had been taken to address wrongs that had been ignored for far too long.

But if the story had ended there,

we wouldn’t be writing this article. On Sunday, April 18, while we were resting, Vassar’s administration did its best to undo our progress. Administrators, interested in covering their asses far more than doing the right thing, gave Coach A an ultimatum—reinstate the abuser or lose your job.

Team leadership had been intent on chewing out administration anyways for letting the situation get to this point, but we began scrambling, doing hours of legal research and trying to justify the removal of this obvious cancer.

We memorized Title IX codes, read academic papers on the subject and scrutinized the Vassar College guidelines provided on the school’s website. We tried our hardest to keep what small victories we’d achieved in the hope of convincing administration to stand for something other than protecting abusive athletes.

On Monday, April 19, we saw what little gains we had made taken from us. In a meeting with Director of Athletics and Physical Education Michelle Walsh, DiSee Track on page 14

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May 13, 2021

THE MISCELLANY NEWS Ted Chmyz Olivia Watson MANAGING EDITOR Taylor Stewart Dean Kopitsky SENIOR EDITORS Alex Eisert Janet Song CONTRIBUTING EDITORS Aena Khan Jessica Moss Holly Schulman Abby Tarwater Tiana Headley NEWS EDITORS Lucille Brewster Annabelle Wang ASSISTANT NEWS EDITORS Sara Lawler Alex Wilson OPINIONS EDITOR Sawyer Bush ARTS EDITORS Nina Ajemian Leila Raines ASSISTANT FEATURES EDITOR Monika Sweeney SPORTS EDITOR Doug Cobb Jackie Molloy HUMOR EDITOR Isabelle Migani Madi Donat ASSISTANT SPORTS EDITOR Jackie Molloy Doug Cobb SOCIAL MEDIA EDITOR Natalie Bober Alison Carranza ASSISTANT PHOTO EDITORS Sherry Liao Grace Rousell COPY EDITORS Jacqueline Gill Phoebe Jacoby Caitlin Patterson GRAPHICS EDITOR Juliette Pope Sandro Luis Lorenzo AUDIO EDITOR Alex Barnard Mrin Somani LIVE EVENTS CHAIRPERSON Ben Scharf BUSINESS MANAGER Emma Tanner ASSISTANT BUSINESS MANAGER Logan Hyde WEBMASTER Chloe Gjoka VIDEO PRODUCTION MANAGER Ian Herz DESIGN EDITOR Grace Willoughby EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

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Francisco Andrade Karina Burnett Madison Caress Doug Cobb Johnathan Dean Rohan Dutta Ben Fikhman Nicholas Gorman Helen Johnson Xin Rui Ong Danielle Recco Massimo Tarridas Arlene Chen Katie Gebbia Glenna Gomez Jason Han Sophia Jahadhmy Tori Lubin Bryn Marling Claire Miller Sashinka Poor Melissa Roybal Mia Stein Simon Goldsmith Adam Buchmueller Reese Collins

CORRECTION POLICY The Miscellany News will only accept corrections for any misquotes, misrepresentations or factual errors for an article within the semester it is printed.

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The Miscellany News is not responsible for the views presented within its Opinions pages. Staff editorials are the only articles that reflect the opinion of a two-thirds majority of the Editorial Board.

NEWS

May 13, 2021

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Mug Night mix-up casts doubt on future campus events Continued from Mug Night on page 1 student workers and organizations.”

But Posner claimed Campus Activities and Safety and Security did not take sufficient measures to ensure the safety and success of the event. She recalled how, instead of barricades, the grass at Ballantine Field was painted with blue circles to keep students within their pods, but these demarcations were hard to see at night. Posner also said she had reached out to Rush to have a checkpoint for people to show their ID and enter as a way to

“I don’t appreciate the onus being placed entirely on us … Our number one priority is keeping the regulations while also making this semester feel somewhat normal and fun" moderate capacity. Such a checkpoint did not exist the day of the event.

Rush said such a measure is tough to manage. “[M]anaging checkpoints in an open field space like Ballantine Field is very difficult, since there is no boundary for the event.”

Posner expressed her frustration toward the security staff on-site. According to Rush, the College uses both VC Safety & Security and an outside company to support events happening on campus, particularly on busy weekends. “Contracted staff are always briefed by and communicate with our on-campus Safe-

Arlington

ty & Security team during events.”

Posner explained that the security guards told the DJs to speak into the microphone to request that people spread out. She found this unusual and claimed that at past events, such as Quadchella, security would usually go into the crowd to break up people. Performing and conducting crowd control made things all the more difficult for the student DJs. “It’s frustrating to have to do security’s job and the SARC’s job,” Posner said.

Rush shared that social distancing reminders over microphone are a standard practice for such events. “At other events, we have been able to have announcements made [by performers] to try and disperse crowds and avoid overcrowding so events can continue and still be within the current guidelines.”

The events of that night would have far-reaching consequences on the campus events scene. Shortly after Mug Night, The Misc Music Fest (MMF), another outdoor concert, was cancelled.

Prior to Middle School Mug Night, campus-sponsored events were gradually ramping up as more students got vaccinated. Miscellany News’ Live Events Chair Benjamin Scharf ’22 shared that, “Although the rule had always technically been under 50, there was a mutual understanding between campus activities, campus security, and student orgs that capacity could exceed 50 so long as security was satisfied with everyone masking and distancing.”

Scharf was notified by Rush that the leniencies provided by this “play-it-by-ear” approach were completely nullified following the Mug Night incident. Scharf stated, “[W]e [Scharf and Rush] both recognized that far more than 50 people would attend the festival, and therefore, the likelihood of it getting shut down

enjoys

renewed

Will Sorge

Guest Reporter

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n Sept. of last year, local businesses suffered losses as a result of the off-campus travel restrictions. As of Tuesday, April 27, President Elizabeth Bradley announced in an email to the student body that students are permitted to dine outdoors at Arlington restaurants with their pods. With students now allowed to travel into Arlington, these businesses are getting a taste of the post-pandemic boom, as the once vital Vassar student patronage returns.

Most businesses said the renewed support has been a boon to their finances, and has offset some of the losses they incurred when students were unable to leave campus. For the owners of these establishments, the influx of business from students has meant rent paid and food on the table, and signals some relief from the financial

"I have never experienced such hardships as from February 2020 to March 2021, because my business depends 85 percent on Vassar students" hardship of the past year. Rajesh Seghal, owner of Dollar Yard, recounted: “I have never experienced such hardships as from February 2020 to March 2021, because my business depends 85 percent on Vassar students. We carry items which are required by students.” He continued, “I am behind [on] my rent and continue to request my landlord, Vassar College, to look into my hardships.” (Vassar owns buildings around

Iris Li /The Miscellany News

was near 100 percent.” Scharf continued, “As live events coordinator, I made the executive decision to cancel the event, as I could not in good faith waste thousands of dollars on an event that was likely to get shut down.”

Any potential changes in the current campus events policy is subject to the jurisdiction of the VassarTogether committee and/or the senior team, according to Rush. As it stands now, the strict 50-person maximum capacity

"...leniencies provided by this “play-it-by-ear” approach were completely nullified following the Mug Night incident.

Scharf stated, '[W]e [Scharf and Rush] both recognized that far more than 50 people would attend the festival, and therefore, the likelihood of it getting shut down was near 100 percent.'"

For some prospective MMF performers, this cancellation was devastating. Student musician Claire Furtwangler ’21 expressed her dismay with the outcome: “I will admit, I was really disappointed when the Misc event got cancelled … being a senior, it was going to be my band's (The Morning Moon) last show together of that scale— - especially with opportunities to perform being so much lower due to COVID— - as well as one of our last chances to enjoy listening to the other bands with senior members.”

Other performers also voiced their dismay about the decision. Alex Koester ’23 stated, “We [the musicians] had been looking forward to it and practicing hard, multiple days a week. It takes a big chunk of our time, and then it was just robbed from us.” Koester explained how student musicians have been especially hard hit these past semesters due to the pandemic: “In the fall, we...didn’t even have any places to practice outside … Security was being called on us for being outside and playing music.”

for events will likely remain until the end of the academic year, even if herd immunity is achieved on campus. Although 85 percent of the Vassar student body have received either one or two vaccine doses, Alamo-Pastrana noted that vaccinated people are not considered immune until two weeks after completing all their doses.

“For this reason, it will be difficult to attain herd immunity because many of our students are still completing their vaccine series,” he said.

The culmination of the Mug Night shutdown and cancellation of the MMF has left many students concerned about other major campus-sponsored events, namely Founder’s Day. But Alamo-Pastrana said that the show will indeed go on: “We learned a lot from Middle School Mug Night but the planning group for Founder's Day, which includes students and administrators, has been at work for months and will continue to move forward with the plans they have put in place.”

Arlington, one of them being Seghal’s Dollar Yard.)

During the pandemic, some, though not all, of this hardship was mitigated by on-campus vending.

Tanner Townsend, owner of The Crafted Kup, recalled the significant impact of COVID-19 on both the Arlington and Vassar communities: “In one way or another, every business had to adapt to make it through the past year, and The Crafted Kup is no different. We were very thankful to Vassar for allowing us to be on campus to serve the students during the past two semesters, and that greatly contributed to our ability to successfully weather the storm.”

Darren Chan at Chan’s Peking Village highlighted the increased business, with some caveats: “Chan's Peking has definitely seen an increase in business as students are allowed to leave off campus and visit local business establishments. If we were open for dine-in it would be much better, but due to most of our staff still not feeling safe we're only doing take out.”

Beyond financial concerns, businesses are enjoying a new pulse provided by Vassar students, one they’ve missed from pre-pandemic times. Chef Ira Lee at Twisted Soul explained: “Since Vassar students are allowed to come, the food traffic is busier at Twisted Soul. It seems that more students are willing to come to the restaurant than order delivery.”

Townsend agreed with this sentiment: “The opening of campus and the return of the students has brought much needed life, energy, and cash flow into the Arlington District.

Financials aside, having the café full of students again has made us all feel rejuvenated and excited for the continual reopening of the world post-COVID.”

Chan shared the same positivity: “It's great to see a lot more foot traffic on Raymond Avenue because of the students.” As did Seghal: “There is a new life feeling after Vassar students are allowed to leave the campus and shop in my small store.”

Still, with the pandemic and statewide restrictions looming, restaurants are cautious with fully reopening.

Lee noted: “We are not anywhere near opening back up indoor dining since our installations are small.

Hopefully, we will be opening outdoor dining in the next few weeks when the weather gets better.”

Other establishments were less affected

business

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

from

students

"Since Vassar students are allowed to come, the food traffic is busier at Twisted Soul. It seems that more students are willing to come to the restaurant than order delivery" by the surge in Vassar patronage, which was limited even pre-pandemic. Montego Bay owner Noleen Thomas says: “Unfortunately, we did not get much support from the Vassar students [pre-pandemic].

Occasionally, we will get a catering order from a small group but that's about it.

Nothing has changed now.”

Regardless, the overall mood expressed seems to be one of renewal and excitement, as surmised by a statement from Gladmore Cleaners: “Thank you very much, Vassar.

We missed you!”

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May 13, 2021

Julia Maisel-Berrick on engaging in music on campus Lauren Showalter Guest Columnist

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ulia Maisel-Berrick ’24 is involved in nearly all aspects of the music scene on campus. I got to sit with her outside, physically distant on the quad and inquire about one of the rising musical talents on Vassar’s campus. A student musician who has her own music on streaming platforms and an active member of the bands Fowlmouth and Delia, she can be found either in a practice session or out in the Blodgett courtyard performing. From memorizing songs off of the CDs in her dad’s car to scribbling down lyrics in her elementary school notebook, songwriting comes easily to Berrick and is a true passion. When asked about her favorite original song so far, she responded, “There’s a song from my last EP called Asteroid 6984…I was thinking about it the other day because it's really inspired by the book ‘Alice in Wonderland’ which was like my favorite book as a kid.” Often inspired by the media she consumes, her ethereal voice matches the poetic nature of her lyrics. She posts her latest releases on her Instagram and can be found on Spotify, iTunes and SoundCloud.

Her latest release was this past February, called “Something Cosmic”.

Berrick ended up in Fowlmouth, an all first-year folk band, last semester after meeting one bandmate, Rachel Ostrowski in high school. They ended up in the same student fellow group in Raymond House once they arrived at Vassar, which led to meeting fellow bandmate Lauren Pacheco. This resulted in a jam session, and after one thing led to another, they started holding weekly events for the band. Since then, the band has performed at several campus events, and this upcoming weekend Fowlmouth and Delia will bookend the First Year Carnival on Sunday, May 16.

Berrick is involved in another band, which came about in a similar manner.

All members are part of the Vassar Student

Musician Union (StuMu). Berrick met fellow bandmate Danny Lombara ‘24 through having two classes together this semester, and learned about each other’s talents via a list StuMu has of other musicians. After a successful jam sesh with Lombara and Eli Cuomo ‘24, and then finding their drummer Karun Krishnamurthy ‘24, the band Delia was formed. Berrick expresses, “I’ve never been in a band before and it was always my dream, and now I’m living my dream times two.”

Berrick expressed, “Live performances feel very productive and I think it's hard to feel productive in this day and age. And like you’re practicing, but what am I practicing for?” Especially with warmer weather allowing for spaces like the Blodgett courtyard, the library lawn, Joss Beach and other outdoor areas to be utilized for COVID-safe concerts, student musicians can gain recognition for their skills and talents. Berrick added, “When you have a goal that’s really nice…it's nice when people come up to you afterwards and compliment you and it makes you feel good. You form a lot of connections from that in a time where it's very hard to form connections with people.”

Concerts have been an escape from pandemic burnout. Performances overall this semester have been a staple of physically distant, yet relaxing events for students to connect with each other in a meaningful way. Berrick’s favorite performance so far has been the women and non-binary centered concert held at the Loeb; “It was in daylight which feels good because you can see the people and they can see you and it was just like it was a good space. Folk Fest felt very professional and like a real festival.”

When it comes to balancing practices and performances with the workload of being a Vassar student, Berrick stated, “Leading up to shows we have to practice… you just gotta know that it's going to work out and you do have time in your day.” For a member of

two bands and a full-time student, Berrick’s calm mindset towards her hectic schedule was simple: “Make time for things you like doing.” Between classes, projects, studying, extracurricular activities and sports alongside a social life, continuing to engage in these passions is a nice reminder that you truly are in control of your time, and that what truly brings you joy is worth prioritizing. And if you thought Berrick was done in her musical endeavors, she also listens to folk music to curate for her radio shows, Onion Hours and Sad Folk for Sad Folks by Sad Folks, for WVKR. When listening, her attention is “very lyric-centric for me.” This dedication to lyricism comes through her music, with elaborate metaphors over folksy

instrumentals forming a dreamy sound.

In the future, Berrick wants to write and record original songs for both Fowlmouth and Delia and have more available practice spaces, as well as more performance opportunities in the fall. “After I release things, I can move on to the next thing because it feels like that has been preserved and memorialized now and it's not forgotten by the passage of time,” she expressed. “Hopefully people are listening to these shows and being like, ‘Man, I wish I could hear that song every single day.’” Berrick speaks of music in a thoughtful and meaningful way, and I can’t wait to see her next performances, with whichever band she is lined up to play with that day.

rap artists can claim to. Through his earnest storytelling, as he describes events and issues that he truly cares about, listeners develop a more intense connection with both Cole and the song itself simply for the emotions he evokes. Over the easy, languid beat of “4 Your Eyez Only,” Cole narrates the story from the perspective of a father struggling to provide for his daughter, even in an area, and under a system, that wants to see him fail. By telling this tragic tale of a dad doomed to death, we grow attached to his noble cause (leaving a tape for his daughter) and actively root for a happy resolution, even while knowing that it won’t come.

The impact of his songs is impossibly personal. Listening to this song for the first time, and so many others in his discography, is a surreal experience; you can listen to the story with rapt attention, almost as if the narrator is right there, telling it just for you. His songs necessitate the creation of incredibly strong connections with them, since it is not easy to forget the first thoughts you have immediately after listening to a story so detailed.

And while establishing these emotional connections is an extremely crucial aspect of Cole’s skillset, there are also other central essentialities of music that he explores.

For example, music has the power to speak to us in different ways. Sometimes, the storytelling capabilities of it allow us to take away messages from the songs that we listen to. Other times, it speaks to us by describing situations that we all personally understand, or by expressing that struggles are normal, and we aren’t alone in our difficulties. This sense of relatability is where the heart of

Cole’s rapping lies. Through his descriptions of the hope, struggle and perseverance he experienced, growing up in Fayetteville, North Carolina to making it big, we can all empathize. This relation is not because we grew up around him, or had a similar rise to fame, but because his music hits on emotions and notes that are fundamentally human. His music speaks to us like no other, because we have all gone through some of the same things (experiencing the same feelings, dealing with similar hardships) that he has. The ultimate culmination of Cole’s unique ability to make touching and impactful music is “Wet Dreamz,” off of his 2014 release “2014 Forest Hills Drive.” Retelling the story of the immense nervousness, anticipation, humility and optimism that he experienced with his first crush, we as listeners empathize and relate to those feelings. They are all emotions that we can attribute to similar experiences in our own lives, which enables the song to have an incredibly poignant impact. Cole’s ability to garner such a response so easily and consistently sets him apart from the other artists of this generation.

Finally, Cole promotes a variety of social and political causes and activism in his music, which cements him as an artist who is in the industry for the right reasons. Musicians have a unique opportunity to reach millions of people with their songs and inspire positive change. The potential for a lasting impact on the world is boundless. When he retires, sooner or later, Cole will sleep peacefully knowing that he used his platform for good.

On songs such as “Brackets,” he critiques the American tax collection system for not allo-

cating funds to where they are needed most, to the people that are most vulnerable. On “Fire Squad,” he highlights the significantly harder path to success that minorities in the United States have than those who are white. On “Crooked Smile,” he encourages a far healthier mindset regarding body image, particularly for women, as opposed to the incredibly detrimental and damaging ones that society has promoted. Throughout his career, Cole has made an effort to point out and criticize the aspects of society that he sees as morally wrong, wanting to help out in whatever way he can.

Through his music, Cole explains, teaches and speaks to us in a unique way.

So what will his legacy be, and what is it currently? Cole is an artist of the people, an artist who will be known for understanding his audience better than anyone and someone who actively seeks the best for others.

Someone who makes music the right way, who appreciates the power and immense capability it has for impact on both a personal and widespread level. He makes music for you and me, for the people thinking they were alone in their struggles, or for the person who is nervous for a first date. His music provides a soundtrack for our lives. No matter the time, place, mood or mindset, J. Cole will be there with a song.

With all of that being said, I could not be more excited for his new album. While the answer of where he stacks up amongst the greats of the genre may change depending on the listener, the one commendation that should remain consistent is an admiration for the way he went about it all.

Courtesy of Julia Maisel-Berrick '24 via Spotify.

The legacy of J. Cole embodies the essence of music Ganesh Pillai

Guest Columnist

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n May 14, J. Cole will release his 10th, and possibly penultimate, studio album.

Titled “The Off-Season,” the new release will be one of the last in his incredibly illustrious career. In approaching retirement, particularly with a rapper as notable as he is, the question invariably turns to the impact that Cole has had on the genre, and how said impact will be regarded in the future. Ascribing a concrete sense of significance may be easier with artists such as Kanye West or Jay-Z, who are more universally proclaimed as greats.

This question is not as obviously answerable for Cole; the response can change drastically depending on who you ask. I believe that Cole’s legacy is closely tied with the essence of music itself, and doing justice by its purposes and listeners through emotional connection, relatability and fostering positive change.

We have such an appreciation for music because of the emotional connections we make through it. Unique relationships form with songs that impart special meanings and significance to us. Through associating strong emotional reactions with songs, we deepen our relationships with them. I find that the songs I love most are the ones that I have the meaningful responses to, the ones that I associate with the aspects of life that are most salient, such as the compassion for others or importance of equality in life.

This is one of the features of rap that Cole does best. He can elicit strong emotional responses from his listeners, which few other

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May 13, 2021

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Spud Cannon sneaks into squash courts, rediscovers sound Nina Ajemian Arts Editor

Spud Cannon didn’t think it would make it to a third album. The band also didn’t think it was going to stay together after a particularly rough stretch of touring. However, fate or the universe or maybe just the longing nestled inside people who need to be making music with each other brought the group back together. The result: “Good Kids Make Bad Apples,” Spud’s third album, to be released on June 25.

Spud Cannon was formed at Vassar in 2016 and is composed of a firecracker group of spunky, talented musicians—Meg Matthews ’20 (lead vocals), Lucy Horgan ’20 (bass), Ben Scharf ’22 (drums) [Disclaimer: Scharf is the Live Events Chairperson for The Miscellany News], Jackson Walker Lewis ’19 (guitar) and Arianna Bowe ’20 (keys). I met up with the band on an unfortunately cold and rainy May afternoon and quickly felt pulled into their laid-back, easygoing conversation. This is the story of how the quintet found themselves in the Vassar Squash courts this summer, sleep-deprived, sweaty and ready to make a record.

Why the squash courts? The obvious answer: The courts were free. The space also provided resonance and a large, all-encompassing sound, perfect for recording an album. Really, though, breaking into the squash courts was fitting for the band’s narrative: “A lot of people cut spud cannons out of PVC pipes, and we like to do everything ourselves—get our hands dirty,” described Horgan. Lewis noted, “[T]he idea of it became interesting. Like, not boring. It

Courtesy of Spud Cannon. was like we’re gonna have to sneak in, it’s gonna be this overnight thing, it’s gonna be such a pain in the ass.” Scharf added, “Everything about the recording process was both haphazard and illicit...including, you know, whatever substances we had to take to stay up all night. It’d be like 10 p.m. to like 7 a.m.—I’d drive home to Massachusetts with the sunrise. But I don’t think I’d have it any other way.”

After finding each other again, Spud

Courtesy of Ella Baum '20

needed to re-find its sound— the squash courts proved to be the perfect place to do so. Spud Cannon is a Vassar band after all, and a defining aspect of Vassar culture is sneaking into restricted places. It’s also significant that the band returned to Vassar despite the fact that four out of its five members have graduated. Vassar is where Spud was born and, through recording the third album, where it was born again.

This time around, the band felt less pressure when working on the record. Lewis explained, “The stakes felt so low when we were writing for this album. It felt like nobody cared, you know what I mean?

Because we had done two albums and the second album—I think it was a miss, kind of a miss of an album, and some of the touring was rough. And we just felt like the stakes are so low—who cares? Nobody cares.” Bowe added, “[L]ike our first album, there’s a ‘fuck it’ kind of energy … I think that translates well for us because that’s what our whole schtick has been.”

Spud Cannon’s sound is fun. It’s “wedon’t-take-ourselves-too-seriously-andneither-should-you.” Uninhibited. A return to the band’s root desire: “[A]ll we ever wanted to do was play parties,” said Lewis.

“And make people dance,” added Horgan.

“That’s what it’s all about—the movement.”

Bowe commented, “[The third album] definitely sounds like us, more so than the second album. I think we tried a lot of things, like kind of experimentally, to try and sound a certain way. But I think going back to the roots of the way we did the first album brought us back to the sound that we actually put out naturally.”

This pure Spud sound is captured in the band’s newest single, “You’ve Got It All (NOT),” released on May 12. Lewis wrote the track’s riff with The Beach Boys in mind, in terms of both their sound and the feeling of youth that they project. Matthews collaborated with her bandmates on lyrics, which, Scharf noted, provide a “slightly subversive Vassar critique.” Matthews explained, “[Y]ou know the Vassar boy that’s got it all together, kind of. And is a smooth talker but has a lot of internal baggage that you have to deal with and, like, no!”

The song captures the circus that is life and love in your early 20s, especially at Vassar—it’s fun, it’s childish, it’s a bit ridiculous, but it’s all you have to cling onto.

The bright bounciness is playful, teasing and just a little bit ironic. Matthews’ airy

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

voice floats through the chorus: “Leave the talking to me/ ‘Cause you can’t see/ You’ve got it all/ You’ve got it all.”

“You’ve Got It All (NOT),” and really the production process of the whole album, comes to life in its music video, which was directed and edited by Ben Klein, with assistance from Danny Lombara ’24 (key grip) and Bowe’s brother, Preston Bowe ’24 (gaffer).

Fittingly, the video was shot at the squash courts. Why? Again: free. More than that, though, the space has become somewhat sacred for Spud Cannon; the band shot the music video in the same court that the album was recorded in, where the group spent countless hours rediscovering their sound and producing a record ultimately deemed better than the previous. Horgan commented, “It’s much more collaborative, you know. We’ve definitely changed the way we write the longer we’ve been together and it’s more, you know, writing together in the room and everyone contributing something.”

Spud Cannon entered the courts without much of a game plan for the video. Scharf described, “Basically we went to the squash court with only three ideas: Wear white, go in the squash court and film it on a Super 8 camera.” In the end, though, those three key elements structure the video; not much else is needed to tell the story of the song and its album. The retro, warm graininess of the Super 8 film is wonderfully suited to capturing the video's aesthetic of carefree simplicity, as well as the pops of red against the band’s uniform white.

“It felt good because it’s, you know, how we play—just having a good time, jumping around,” observed Matthews.

Play is certainly a defining aspect of the video. Spud plays instruments, plays with light and shadows, plays with hula hoops and plays with large white yoga balls (one of which did hit Matthews in the face—she has the fading scar to prove it).

Sitting with the band, hearing them talk over each other, balancing earnest reflections with one-line quips and raucous laughter, it’s easy to see why the five gravitated back towards each other. The music video is a record of this moment in time. It says: Spud Cannon was here. Look at what we created.

As promised, the end of my article is a message from Lewis: “[S]hout out to the Vassar squash department…They’ve been unknowingly instrumental.”

FEATURES

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May 13, 2021

Vassar Confessions reveals secrets and campus gossip Continued from VASSAR on page 1 the confessions posted have sparked intense student-on-student debates in the comments section. Other confessions recount memories or concoct mysterious stories about campus wildlife. Many are, indeed, sexual in nature. The link in the bio invites people to submit whatever their heart desires to a Google Form. But the person behind this account remains a mystery.

Some of the confessions include: “Is it bad to date someone from marist” “I think I know who u are” “I really love watching the barefoot fireflies out my window” “If you have a pet on campus and you bring it outside: you’re the only thing keeping my mental health together” According to Mr. Confessions, as the account owner wishes to be called, only one other person knows their identity.

Through an interview via Instagram, the Misc asked Mr. Confessions about how taxing running this account can be. “Being anonymous helps me to disconnect from the page somewhat. It can be stressful, and it’s pretty exhausting to post all of the confessions sometimes,” Mr. Confessions said. However, they did admit that it can be funny when they recognize people in real life who may have DMed them, as a sort of one-sided relationship.

The confessions posted to the account range widely. In the first few batches of posts, Mr. Confessions took the time to reformat each confession with a colorful, calming background often in stark contrast to the words. The very first post was on February 1, 2021, and read “I stole forks from the deece my freshman year.”

This sparked the match for students craving an opportunity to let go of the secrets

weighing down on their shoulders. One of the account’s most popular posts was from March 16, boasting 126 likes and six comments praising the confession: “As it’s 2:30am and I struggle with a paper, I know that the sausage-egg-and-cheese from retreat in like 7 hours will make my heart full again.”

Mr. Confessions was clear that this account was created solely for entertainment purposes. “Mostly everything gets posted unless it’s just boring or inappropriate. I usually filter through all the submissions before I post. I filter out things that are uninteresting, boring or hateful. I don’t post name drops unless they are positive.”

Having to read through each confession before posting it, as well as formatting each one correctly, takes a lot of work, according to Mr. Confessions. Recently, post drops have been much less frequent, and currently, the last post is from two full weeks ago. They remarked, “I’ve started posting a lot less frequently because it takes time and effort to put together a drop. It can take almost an hour to post a set of confessions, and I get lazier and lazier as the semester drags on.”

Much of the fallout of these confessions occured in the comments section, where students discussed and responded to the various claims. Most memorable were arguments about athletes receiving special attention from the college, communism in general and prospective students expressing their newfound fears of the student body. This did not spur Mr. Confessions to shut down the comment sections, though.

They said, “I’m all for commenting on the posts. I feel like a lot of the heated controversies arise when someone submits something that they would normally be can-

celled for if it wasn’t anonymous … I think that this divide has led to the somewhat toxic discourse that we see.

But I do find it interesting to see such diverse points of view even if they aren’t well received.”

The Vassar Confessions Instagram account has certainly been impressive in its fast rise in popularity and its outsized con-

tribution to campus entertainment and conversation.

Besides uncovering the owner’s identity, which will most likely never happen, only one question remains.

Does this have anything to do with the mysterious Rose Tote Society? Mr. Confessions answered that in one fell swoop: “That is top secret information.”

Olivia Gross/The Miscellany News

The RSLCP Office in the words of its student interns Mahlia Neely

Guest Reporter

O

n a college campus where there is always an assignment to submit or a meeting to catch, it’s refreshing to have an opportunity to stop, slow down and connect with community. Open-armed, the Religious and Spiritual Life and Contemplative Practices (RSLCP) office at Vassar works to provide those kinds of spaces for students.

The RSLCP website accurately describes the office as “difficult to pigeonhole.” As an umbrella office for religious and spiritual organizations on campus, RSLCP gives opportunities for students to participate in religious and spiritual practices, services and holiday events. It is a place for students to connect with their peers, along with religious and spiritual mentors. Through this fostering of connection and community, RSLCP offers genuine emotional support surrounding religion and spirituality.

RSLCP Intern Christian Wilson ’23 mentioned that some students experience a religious and spiritual “culture shock” when transitioning to life in college. “Coming to Vassar might be the first time you’re in…a place where not a lot of people have the same religious beliefs as you, or there might be some discomfort with how you feel about your religion, and [you may be] questioning your beliefs,” he said. “[RSLCP] can…help people process those emotions and feel more comfortable with their spiritual life on campus,” he added.

However, Intern Eleanor Levinson-Muth ’23 explained that, although a big part of RSLCP is holding space for students’ religious needs, the office does not only exist for students involved in religion. “We exist to…create community and a sense of belonging and

spiritual meaning for all students, not just religious students,” she said. Pia Behmuaras ’23, another intern, agreed that RSLCP is a place for everyone to learn more about themselves and others. “[It] is an open space to find out who you are, who you want to be and learn about [the] religious, spiritual and contemplative practices that other people have on campus,” she said. RSLCP offers programs that are not specific or exclusive to any religion, such as virtual spaces for grief and loss support, special talks and seminars, their Mindful and Reflective Moments podcast and the ground-breaking Spring Festival that happened in April.

The RSLCP’s Spring Festival was held on Sunday, April 18 on Library Lawn. Students strolled among booths manned by Vassar faculty and religious organizations, where they were encouraged to participate in activities and learn information about the different groups.

Intern Pierangelis Valerio ’23 emphasized that providing authentic experiences was important to RSLCP. “All the organizations were given the chance to decide what they thought was important to be showcased in their booths,” she reflected. “There was a lot of liberty in terms of what they wanted people to know, even down to what kind of food they wanted to bring. I think that kind of authenticity…definitely brought people in,” Valerio stated.

Participants were given Spring Festival Passports and received a sticker for each booth they interacted with. Those who completed the sticker chart received gift cards to local shops. What Valerio found particularly special was that, even after the gift cards ran out, students continued engaging with the booths and completing the passports—not for a prize,

but out of genuine interest.

The birth of the Spring Festival exemplified the student-led nature of RSLCP. First, the student interns held “discovery interviews” with members of the general student body—people not involved with RSLCP. Levinson-Muth elaborated on the discovery interview process: “We would ask [students] questions like, ‘How have you been finding connection this semester?’…[The student] would answer, and then we’d ask a question about their answer, and we would end up somewhere totally different, but with very meaningful content.”

The interns then discussed the common themes that emerged from the interviews— social isolation, holistic approaches to wellness and the need for integrated cultural, religious and spiritual support—and designed the Spring Festival to address those concerns. The student interns came up with the idea of the Spring Festival all on their own, without the presence of staff leaders Rev. Samuel Speers, Rabbi Bryan Mann, Nora Zaki and Annie Sampugnaro, who oversee the office and its programs.

Although the festival was the first of its kind for the RSLCP, it will serve as a precedent for many years to come. Intern Milla Durfee ’24 explained: “At least once a year, we’d like to do the same kind of thing…and interview students to see what they need at that time.

This year the Spring Festival was what catered most to people’s desires, but next year it could be something different.”

This student-leadership is one of intern Evelyn Lucero-Herrera’s ’24 favorite things about working for RSLCP. “[The staff leaders] encourage you to plan these events and everything, but they won’t leave you on your own to do it,” she mentioned. “So you can be in these positions and lead these different things,

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

knowing that you have this support system behind you.”

The RSLCP office does not only offer a safe space to the general student body, but it also fosters a warm community for the students who work there. Intern Chelsea Zak ’23 didn’t know what to expect when she signed up to work at RSLCP, but she is immensely glad at where she has wound up. “I met all these incredible people that I never would’ve otherwise had the experience [of working] with if I hadn’t stumbled upon RSLCP. And I’m so grateful that I found them,” she said. Intern Daniela Mujica ’24 agreed, mentioning how her job at RSLCP became a refuge for her, especially when navigating college life as a firstyear. “I didn’t really know what I was getting myself into,” she admitted. “I didn’t realize that I was going to find this amazing community of…wonderful people with so much talent and so much to put on the table. It became kind of like a family,” she shared.

Intern Sarah McCawley ’23 shared similar sentiments: “I love working with RSLCP. Every single time that I come into a space with these people, I’m always accepted for my full self…I feel like RSLCP really provided a safe space for me to navigate my feelings and beliefs surrounding [religion]…And I’m just lucky I get to work [here] also.”

In the future, the office plans to explore restorative circle practice and move into their new center, Pratt House. They welcome ideas from the student body on ways to use and gather in their new physical space. In the meantime, the office is holding an end-ofyear bonfire on Friday, May 14 on Joss Beach.

It’s the perfect opportunity for students to experience the spirit of community and togetherness that the RSLCP office yearns to provide—all while munching on s’mores.

May 13, 2021

FEATURES

Page 7

Sandro Luis Lorenzo / The Miscellany News

Faulty fire alarms cause repeated frenzy in Lathrop Monika Sweeney

Assistant Features Editor

W

hile most college dorms are subject to a routine annual fire drill, a critical part of the Vassar student experience is having dozens of unannounced drills throughout the year. No matter what dorm you live in, what hour it is or how many times you hope and pray that the blaring sirens and blinking lights will not go off while you are in the shower, the fire alarms of Vassar College have a mind of their own.

Lathrop students are especially familiar with all the jarring sounds and visuals of a fire alarm: persistent screeching, flashing red lights and the sound of doors slamming as half asleep students make their way to the closest stairwell. On the night of April 24, while some students were listening to the “Cupid Shuffle” and enjoying their first Mug Night of the year, the inhabitants of Lathrop were busy shuffling down the stairs to the sounds of fire trucks and chatting students.

That night kicked off a week of incessant fire alarms for frustrated Lathrop residents.

On April 30, 10 fire alarms went off in the building over the course of several hours.

While the first few lasted for several minutes, subsequent alarms went off in short, sporadic episodes. The students, confused as to what these shorter alarms meant, were unsure whether or not they had to leave the dorm at this time. An email from Lathrop's House Advisor (HA), Kris Van Nostrand, later clarified that students were expected to evacuate at the sound of any alarm. Although Van Nostrand was not in the house at the time, he sent several emails to students and coordinated with Lathrop’s House Team to explain the situation.

After a handful of false alarms on May 1, the fire detection system in the building was completely shut off and students were told to expect the installment of a new system early that coming week. Additionally, according to Van Nostrand, security personnel were put on fire watch and the fire alarm company was notified of the malfunctioning system.

In true Vassar fashion, an Instagram account was created to memorialize such an

Monika Sweeney/The Miscellany News.

occasion for the Lathrop community. Teddy Craig ’23, a resident of Lathrop for the past two years, is the proud owner of @lathrop. fire.alarm. He started the account as a way to draw attention to Lathrop’s faulty fire alarm system in hopes of getting it fixed faster.

“There’s a lot of niche Vassar accounts and I figured mine would fit right in,” Craig commented.

Craig created @lathrop.fire.alarm on April 30 (aka Lathrop’s day from Hell), when 10 fire alarms went off within the span of approximately 12 hours. With the fire alarm system disarmed as of May 3, the account may be short-lived. “It’ll probably be active until the end of this semester at the latest,” he noted.

Lathrop’s House Student Advisor (HSA), Natalie Habaybeh ’22, was also frustrated with the situation. “As an HSA, it was really stressful because I had a lot of students coming to me about a problem I couldn’t do anything about,” Habaybeh explained. Since Van Nostrand was not in the building at the time, Habaybeh had a lot of irritated and confused students seeking her out for advice and guidance. “It was kind of just the students dealing with it alone,” Habaybeh noted.

Initially, students had assumed their peers were responsible for constant chaos. “That caused a lot of tension in the house and people ended up writing messages on the whiteboard in the lobby begging people to stop setting off the alarm,” Habaybeh remarked.

“To the best of my knowledge as the House Student Advisor, of these recent fire alarms, all of them have been tripped off randomly, which honestly made it even more frustrating because we couldn’t do anything about it.”

The sporadic sirens going off on April 30 also disrupted a number of classes and meetings happening over Zoom, especially for Habaybeh. As one of the many students who had an exam over Zoom on the day of the infamous fire alarm fiasco, she was especially stressed about the unpredictable nature of the alarms. “I had a test after three fire alarms had already gone off, so I sat there worried about it going off again instead of focusing on my test,” she admitted.

Other students, such as Emma Sagerer ’23, have had a more nonchalant, and even positive attitude toward the situation. “As annoying as they [fire alarms] are, the small community that forms outside Lath when

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

we’re rolling our eyes at the latest fire alarm is very warm and welcoming,” she noted of the unique bonding experience every Vassar student has inevitably shared with their floormates at least once this semester.

Other students agreed with this sentiment. “Usually the Lathrop community is tight-knit, but it’s been tough to build that community back in COVID times. So it’s kind of nice to be able to bond over shared frustration and also see everyone every time we evacuate the dorm lol,” Alexander Eisert ’22 [Full disclosure: Eisert is the Sports Editor for The Miscellany News] said in an emailed statement.

While Sagerer could do without the blaring alarms and flashing sirens (courtesy of the Arlington Fire Department) several times a day, the comical nature of the situation is not lost on her. “I’d rather not have it happen 11 times in a day, but the collective dismay is entertaining,” Sagerer explained.

The roars of sirens, coming from the halls of Lathrop and from the quickly approaching Arlington fire trucks, have been routinely filling the quad thanks to Lathrop’s faulty alarm system. “Getting texts from my friends in Jewett while they watch us file out of Lath is a guarantee and it’s a little odd to be the center of attention this semester as the dorm that acts like it's burning down all the time,” Sagerer admitted.

Luckily none of Sagerer’s classes have been disrupted by the alarms. The only major inconvenience she has faced in this situation has come from living on the top floor. “The most frustrating aspect is going down all the stairs every time and then having to go all the way back up. I have short legs and they’re really not enjoying this whole thing,” Sagerer joked.

Although some students have been more frustrated with Lathrop’s faulty fire alarm system than others, it seems as though Lathrop will stay quiet for the remainder of the semester and prepare to pass on the torch of misfortune to another dorm with an ancient fire alarm system.

While the source for these unpredictable sirens remains uncertain, one thing is clear.

There is only one thing Vassar has more of than tulips, something Lathrop students have been made painfully aware of: fire alarms.

HUMOR

Page 8

May 13, 2021

Breaking News From the desk of Izzy Migani, Humor Editor

Reading Foucault doesn't suddenly make you an intellectual, studies say

How to tell your parents you have no internship Carly D'Antonio Not an intern

W

ith the end of the school year fastly approaching, we all seem to be getting the same question: “So, what are your summer plans?”

It's a perfectly normal question to ask, but this year I've been struggling to come up with an answer. Like many studious and driven college students, I applied to MANY internships and was rejected by every single one of them. Am I surprised? No. Am I disappointed? Not really. Did I rush

"I applied to MANY internships and was rejected by every single one of them"

through all of the applications without giving them much thought because I was lazy and didn't want to do them? Absolutely.

This year was competitive and I was not worried about having a boring summer. I am, however, worried about one thing: telling my mother this delightful information. Now I am NOT trying to throw shade at my mom, she is a wonderful and compassionate person. But i'm pretty sure the last thing she wants is her daughter sitting at home for three months bothering her every second of the day…which is what I fully intend on doing.

So to help myself break the news to her, I have come up with a method that might benefit the both of us. So, here are my tips for sharing this turn of events with your parents: First, wait until the last possible moment to make this lovely announcement.

"I'm pretty sure the last thing [my mom] wants is her daughter sitting at home for three months bothering her every seond of the day... which is what I fully intend on doing" Then, after waiting till the last possible minute, wait just a little bit longer. I know what you may be thinking. That waiting until the last minute could lead to a more aggravated response. But, all that time that you are spending not telling her you could be spending on other things…like procras-

HOROSCOPES

tinating on applications for other jobs and internships until it is too late.

Once that glorious moment arrives where I tell my mother I will indeed be spending the entire summer complaining that I am bored, I will do what any young adult would do to avoid the situation: Put in my headphones and act like the world no longer exists.

Is this a good idea? No. Is it the only way I will be able to avoid confrontation and questions that I don't want to answer simply because it is a little bit uncomfortable?

Yes, yes it is.

So if you have had a hard time breaking the news to your parents, take some tips from me…or don’t.

I have no idea what I am talking about.

Honesty is probably the best thing, but that requires much more effort than I am capable of!

Madi Donat

Astral Projector

ARIES

March 21 | April 19

TAURUS

April 20 | May 20

GEMINI

May 21 | June 20

Sometimes we all just need to sit criss-cross on the floor, or backwards on a chair, or on a table, or on a counter, or anywhere else we “aren’t supposed to sit.” This week, practice sitting in places like the ones above and record your moods. Three cheers for sitting!! A fantastic pastime.

I keep hoarding ketchup packets and now there’s a half dozen on my desk, and sometimes I think I should throw them out, but then I need to put ketchup on something.

Sometimes, life is like ketchup: You’re like, “Ugh. This again?” But then you get fries and it’s like, “Oh, ok.”

How are there only two full weeks of class left?? That’s fake. Time is totally not real; I don’t understand how anything works. We’re all just along for the ride. Smash Mouth was right; the years simply do not stop coming.

This week, cope with that. If that’s even possible.

LIBRA

September 23 | October 22

SCORPIO

October 23 | November 21

SAGITTARIUS

November 22 | December 21

Is it just me or has it been raining a LOT lately? I know that’s probably just what spring here is like, but still, it’s weird. If you know anyone who could maybe do something about the rain, could you let them know that it’s getting kinda annoying? The zipper on my raincoat broke. :( If you miss home, make a checklist of things you can’t wait to do and then cross them off as soon as you get there! If you’ll miss it here, do the same thing but check it off before you leave! It’ll be like a game show challenge to get everything done in time. Don’t underestimate adrenaline!

I still can’t believe that paint swatches are free. I feel like I could decorate an entire house with them!! This week, appreciate little things like that. As soon as we’re out of here, go to your nearest Home Depot and stock up for wherever you live next year. Collaging is IN!

Sometimes I wish I could de-stress by baking a cake. (I

CANCER know that I COULD, if I wanted to, but I’m not sure how it

June 21 | July 22

LEO

July 23 | August 22

VIRGO

August 23 | September 22

would turn out in the kitchens that I have access to.) Maybe I could make a mug cake. I love mugs. I think things taste better in a mug: coffee, tea, water, pastries.

Academic infighting is SO FUNNY TO ME. People getting angry over little things, especially in the humanities where things like “How old was Hamlet, really?” do not super matter that much, is one of my favorite things ever. Let’s start a fight: Hamlet was 19 and I will not take criticism.

This is maybe a bad way to live my life, but sometimes I forget about good things, and then I remember, and get really excited again. Like, for example, the color the trees turn in the summer. Or how it feels to dance to your favorite song. This week, forget stuff. Next week, remember it.

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

Fun with letters this week: Try anagrams! “The United

CAPRICORN States Bureau of Fisheries” rearranges to “I raise the bass

December 22 | January 19

to feed us in the future,” at least according to the Internet Anagram Server. “Capricorn” rearranges to “Narc or Pic.” I for one hope you’re Pic––whatever that means.

AQUARIUS

At the end of this semester, print out all the readings you enjoyed and put them in a giant binder for later. Then you canreminisce about all the fun you had being a good student while also patting yourself on the back for reading all those pages. Lots of fun! Maybe less fun for the trees.

January 20 | February 18

PISCES

February 19 | March 20

Whose social media are you stalking? I know it’s someone! Either tell them you like them so much it’s scary or DROP IT. Life’s too short to live in fear of accidentally liking a selfie from four years ago! Buy them chocolate-covered strawberries and make out already! (IF VAXXED.)

HUMOR

May 13, 2021

Page 9

Dr G’s Love Advice: How to stop procrasturbating during finals Dear Dr. G, I’m in my last few weeks of classes this semester and some of my finals have already started, but I’ve run into a bit of a problem.

Whenever it comes time to start working on a paper, I get an overwhelming urge to masturbate first. Help!

-[Fist Emoji] My [Meat Emoji] Dear [Meat Emoji],

Spring finals are notorious for putting the pressure on students annually, so letting off steam is totally natural.

But I’d hate for you to get chaffed or fail your classes. Procrasturbating is a plague on campus this time of year annually, and this spring it’s even worse because of COVID guidelines (which I know all of you are still following… right?). While it can be HARD to avoid the urge, let’s talk about ways you can beat the impulse to beat your meat. #1: Stay off the computer! I know in the age of Zoom, it is likely that many of your finals are fully virtual or force you to spend hours a day hunched over your laptop. But when you’re on your computer that often, it’s easy to get tempted by that naughty little incognito browser button.

Take a break from the PC—it’s not great for your eyes or posture to be on it that often anyways—and you can also break your nasty ‘bating’ habit. Take your favorite notebook, lay back in your bed and review your notes with a good-ol’ fashioned pen and paper. However, if you’re in a class where sex is the name of the game (BIOL-355: Ecology and Evolution of Sexual Reproduction; GERM-101: Sex Before, During, and After the Nazis; PSYC-105: Sex on the Brain, etc.), then I can’t be

Juliette Pope//The Miscellany News held responsible if you end up drawing detailed diagrams of genitalia. #2: Get a study buddy! Nothing stops you from masturbating quite like someone else being in the room who is stressed about failing Sources of World Drama and won’t stop talking about it. Pick a trusted friend and unknowing cock-block to help you keep your hands above the sheets this upcoming study period. Plus, they might even help you end up studying more efficiently! You can make flashcards, quiz each other, brush their hair back behind their ear, place your hand on their thigh, whisper in their ear asking if you can kiss them… okay, wait, never mind, this one is actually not a great idea. #3: Go to Office Hours! This one is foolproof; there’s no way you can stay wet

while your professor is talking about how horrible and difficult their PhD program was.

Ask them about course material, their career, what they’re researching—anything to distract you from immediately going home and going to town on yourself. “Oh, hey, professor, can we talk about that reading from last week’s class?”

“Hey, can you walk me through this reaction mechanism one more time?” “How did you decide to do a postdoc program?”

“Would it be possible for me to do a little extra credit, professor?” “What’s wrong professor, why are you sweating so much?

Is it too hot in here? Maybe you should take off your sweater…” Okay actually this is also a terrible idea, don’t do this either. #4: Find different ways to de-stress!

There are so many ways to avoid procrasturbating, like going to a House Team-sponsored event (turn-off), calling your parents (turn-off), working out (turn-off for some, orgasm-inducing for others), or playing with Play-Doh (turnoff unless you’re nasty).

For some reason, every single org on this entire campus can only think of one time to host events to distract you from work, and it’s literally next weekend, so take full advantage and go get into some totally mindless nonsense that’s not studying or rubbing one out.

These are my prime tips and I hope they help someone out. If you need an accountability buddy to keep you from masturbating, I will always be there to offer you a helping hand :)

WORD ON THE STREET How would someone unlock you if you were a character in a video game?

Reporting and photos by Madi Donat

“I would be a talking object you’d find in a faroff location of a random, nonessential forest area.

In a hollowed out tree trunk, just minding my own business until I get found.”

- Jen Clifford ’23

“It would be an open world game. You’d have to climb up every set of stairs and count them all. Once you enter the number of stairs as a secret code, you unlock me.”

- Chaz Harrison ’23

“There’d be a side quest you have to complete; at the end of it your character dies and is reborn at the start of the level, and then I’d be unlocked. It would be like, ‘Wow, you [were] obliterated!’”

-Christopher Story ’22

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

HUMOR

Page 10

May 13, 2021

B’S CORNER

BY B GOMEZ

Post-pandemic outing reveals writer's fear of human nipples Vivian Philips

I

Accidental prude

often forget how much of a prude I am. I forget, mostly, because my prudishness is inadvertent. I don’t want to be a prude, nor do I make an effort to promote prudishness. It’s just how I am... for unknown reasons. Somehow I exited a Christian education in the heart of Texas with a slightly odd relationship with sexuality. Go figure. Well, for the sake of modesty, go not-so-form-fitting-dress-with-a-modestneckline.

I forget about my prudishness until I am woken up to it by external circumstances.

These circumstances rarely happen, since I seldom put myself in situations that involve delicate topics.

On the very rare occasion, however, I find myself confronted head-on (or other

things-on) by nudity. And I don’t mean streakers.

Thankfully I have never run into an exposer, but if I ever did, at least my reaction of running away in terror would be warranted. In museums, however, it’s frowned upon to sprint in the other direction after accidentally making eye contact with a naked statue.

I have always been completely unsure of how to react to nudity. In fourth grade, while most of my peers were curiously asking questions about the female anatomy during “the talk,” I was taping pieces of paper over the nipples of the woman in my biology textbook.

It’s not that I have a moral disagreement with the naked human body. I simply don’t know how to act like a normal person when I come across one. Recently, I went to

the gym for the first time since being vaccinated. I strutted into the locker room ready to throw on my running shoes, when suddenly a woman walked out in front of me completely naked. In the time I spent away from gyms I had totally forgotten that it’s customary to walk around locker rooms without clothes on. We locked eyes and I froze.

“Hi!” I chirped. “How are you today?”

Oh my God, why did I say that?

“Um. I’m good. How are you…?”

Why am I doing this to myself?

“Oh I am just great, it’s such a beautiful day don’t you think?”

I could have just ended it there. She probably THINKS I’m insane.

Silence.

“Totally!”

Her “totally!” was very enthusiastic. So enthusiastic, I think, that it might have been a tactic to avert being killed by the insane person she probably thought she was talking to. I shuffled away mortified by my awkwardness.

Perhaps one day I will be comfortable in those types of situations, but until then I will be avoiding all beaches just in case.

I can't stand the chance of accidentally showing up at a nude beach... I’d be stuck in conversation for hours.

FROG AND TOAD ARE FRENEMIES

by Frog

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

May 13, 2021

OPINIONS

Page 11

Meshing of the media and the military-industrial complex Helen Johnson Columnist

This is the fourth article in a five-part series about the military-industrial-media complex. The third article, “The unprecedented consolidation of the modern media industry has severe consequences,” can be found here. n the first article of this series, I outlined the importance of the military-industrial-media complex. In the second article, I discussed how the military-industrial complex (MIC) today has expanded into a monster of vast proportions, beyond what Eisenhower could have ever imagined when he delivered his farewell address in 1961. In the third article, I illustrated how the corporate media industry has been dramatically consolidated over the last several decades, so that the number of dominant media corporations has shrunk from 50 in 1983 to just five today—leaving the power to control the majority of messaging and information in the hands of a very few.

However, examining these two phenomena alone is not enough. Not only does the MIC have more power and reach than ever before; not only has media power been drastically consolidated, thus jeopardizing the nation’s supposedly free press and biasing news towards corporate interests; but an undeniable entanglement between these two webs of influence has also grown. This has produced a military-industrial-media complex, in which the corporate media does not provide a check on government use of military power, but rather influences our perception of war so as to manufacture support for the military apparatus that drains our nation’s resources, perpetuates endless war and violence and profits off of death and destruction.

In order to examine the collaboration of the media with the war-making apparatus we now call the MIC, one must go all the way back to 1917, the year in which President Woodrow Wilson established the Committee on Public Information (CPI) by executive order. The CPI was an independent agency of the federal government that Wilson created exclusively to influence public opinion surrounding World War I. The CPI worked closely with commercial filmmakers to produce and distribute propaganda films. Hollywood executives jumped at this opportunity because it was a concrete way to ensure business during wartime. This is one of the first examples of the media industry aligning itself with military interests for the sake of its own profits.

Today the corporate media is consolidated into a handful of media giants with unprecedented power to reach billions of people with their messaging and reporting.

Like every million- and billion-dollar industry, media corporations are also linked to other sectors of the economy through ownership, mergers, interlocking directorates and revolving doors. Given the size and scope of the MIC, it should not come as a shock that big media is connected in various ways to the companies that profit from war.

Outright ownership of media companies is one of the most egregious examples of the relationship between the media and the MIC. General Electric and NBC are one example. General Electric is a large weapons manufacturer that consistently lands in the rankings of top arms-producing and military service companies.

According to the Stockholm International Peace Research Institute (SIPRI), in 2019, General Electric ranked 12th in the United States and 21st in the world out of these

I

companies. GE is a major manufacturer of aircraft parts and missiles that were used extensively in the Gulf War and in Iraq.

And, until 2013, GE either directly owned or had shares in the National Broadcasting Company (NBC).

Although GE’s ownership of NBC is the most blatant example of the ties between the media and the MIC, interlocking directorates—or the linkages among corporations created when individuals sit on two or more corporate boards—are another way the media monopolies have meshed with the corporations that profit from war.

The significance of interlocking directorates has been debated, but many scholars and observers agree that interlocking directorates can affect the independence of board decisions.

As the governing bodies of corporations, board members are the ultimate decision-makers of corporate policy and the choosers of corporate leadership. Most corporate board meetings are private, so not only do those that sit on these boards have immense power, but board members are privy to the most sensitive and confidential information of a company. Any individual that sits on more than one corporate board allows the interlocking companies access to each other’s affairs. Interlocking directorates allow not only for the potential influence, control, and manipulation of one corporation by another, but also for coordination within the corporate class.

Some of the world’s largest arms manufacturers have had interlocking directorates with big media companies. According to a Fairness and Accuracy in Reporting (FAIR) study published in 2012, ABC/Disney interlocked with Boeing, and Knight-Ridder (a major newspaper and Internet publishing company until it was bought by The McClatchy Company in 2006) interlocked with General Electric (which owned NBC) and Raytheon. As of 2011, Raytheon had also interlocked with the New York Times, and Lockheed Martin interlocked with the Washington Post and Gannett/USA Today. Caterpillar, the world’s largest manufacturer of construction equipment which made the D9 military bulldozer used in the Israel-Palestine conflict, interlocked with the Tribune Company, owner of the Chicago Tribune and the Los Angeles Times.

As explained in this article, Big Oil also profits from military involvement, especially in the Middle East. According to the FAIR study mentioned earlier, GE/NBC interlocked with Texaco, a subsidiary of Chevron Corporation; CNN/TimeWarner interlocked with Chevron; New York Times Co. with Texaco; Washington Post/ Newsweek with Ashland Oil; and the Wall Street Journal/Dow Jones with Shell Oil and Texaco. As of 2010, GE/NBC also interlocked with Mobil, and Knight Ridder interlocked with Phillips Petroleum.

There is also a significant revolving door between the MIC, media corporations and government, especially between militaryand security-related government bodies and cable news. Andrew McCabe, former FBI deputy director, joined CNN as a contributor in August of 2019. Josh Campbell and James Gagliano, two of McCabe’s former colleagues at the FBI, also work for CNN. John Brennan, former CIA director, joined NBC as a senior national security and intelligence analyst in 2018. Brennan’s predecessor at the CIA, Michael Hayden, is a national security analyst at CNN, and so is James Clapper, former director of national intelligence.

The media revolving door doesn’t stop at FBI and CIA officials. Sarah Huckabee Sanders, former White House press secretary, joined Fox News as a contributor in 2019. Hope Hicks—political advisor to former President Trump—is now at Fox News as well. The so-called “reverse” revolving door is also prevalent: Ben Carson and John Bolton left Fox News to become Secretary of Housing and Urban Development and National Security Adviser respectively under former President Trump.

The implications of such a cozy relationship between the corporate media and the government are similar to those of the revolving door between defense contractors and the Pentagon. There is an undeniable conflict of interest, but in this case, that conflict of interest doesn't just mean preferential treatment for contractors, lucrative lobbying positions for former Pentagon officials or excessive taxpayer money being spent on military budgets. It means that the information we get from the news may be very, very biased.

Big tech companies also play a large role in the consumption of media. Due to the rise of the internet, platforms like Google and Facebook have a huge influence over the news we see or don’t see. Unfortunately, the revolving door is just as prevalent with tech companies and the government as with cable news.

First up on the list of those going through the tech/military/government revolving door is Michelle Weslander Quaid. After 9/11, she began working for the U.S. government in the world of intelligence and served in executive positions at the National Geospatial-Intelligence Agency, National Reconnaissance Office and at the Office of the Director of National Intelligence.

She even toured combat zones in Iraq and Afghanistan. Then, from 2011 to 2015, she was the Chief Technology Officer of the Public Sector at Google, where she continued working closely with the federal government.

Shannon Sullivan served in various positions in the U.S. Air Force, including as a Senior Military Advisor from 2001 to 2004. Then, he became Defense Director for BAE Systems, one of the world’s largest arms manufacturers, from 2004 to 2008.

He became the head of Google Federal in 2011, and Director of Federal, Google Cloud in 2019. The list goes on, and includes more examples than there is space to cover here.

Corporate ownership, interlocking directorates and the revolving door are the most tangible ways in which the corporate media intersects with the MIC. However, an analysis of the military-industrial-media complex should not stop here. Many other common practices—although not direct corporate or financial links—demonstrate how the mainstream media may not be truly objective when it comes to reporting on issues regarding war and military involvement. One such practice is that of embedded journalism.

Embedded journalism began with the 2003 invasion of Iraq and refers to the practice of news reporters being attached to military units out in the field during armed conflict. At the start of the Iraq war, as many as 775 reporters and photographers were traveling as embedded journalists with U.S. forces.The practice of embedded journalism is controversial.

The military claims it is the only way to allow reporters access to the field while preserving their safety. Indeed, al-Qaeda and the Taliban began targeting reporters and journalists as potential hostages during the

The opinions expressed above do not represent those of The Miscellany News as a whole.

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

wars in Afghanistan and Iraq. Thus, there is some degree of truth to the argument that embedding reporters may be the only way to get first-hand coverage of armed conflict while keeping journalists safe.

However, there are also serious concerns that embedded journalism leads to skewed, biased and limited coverage of war. According to a content analysis by the Project for Excellence in Journalism of the embedded reports on television during three of the first six days of the Iraq war, “The embedded coverage, the research found, is largely anecdotal.” Patrick Cockburn—journalist for the Independent—explains that embedding puts limitations on location and movement, makes reporters liable to miss or misinterpret crucial stages in the conflict, and leads reporters to see the conflict in primarily military terms— rather than political or human terms.

He also explains that one of the most troubling consequences of embedded journalism is that it produces a sanitized coverage of war: “[P]erhaps the most damaging effect of ‘embedding’ is to soften the brutality of any military occupation and underplay hostile local response to it.” The sanitized coverage of armed conflict is a massive and recurring problem in the way the U.S. media portrays war.

At the end of the day, embedded reporting produces a pro-troops and pro-U.S. military bias that simply cannot be avoided. Todd Gitlin noted at a Media at War Conference at UC Berkeley that “Embeddedness has a built-in swerve toward propaganda…because an embedded reporter is on the team.” He likened television war coverage to that of sporting events, and said it resembles entertainment more than journalism.

Another reason for skewed war coverage is the media’s excessive reliance on the military, the government and the Pentagon for information. Douglass Kellner—American academic and sociologist—explains that during the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, “[T]he U.S. broadcast networks were on the whole more embedded in the Pentagon and Bush administration than the reporters and print journalists were in the field.

The military commentators on the major U.S. television networks constantly provided the Pentagon spin of the moment and often repeated gross lies and propaganda.” The mainstream media relies on government and military personnel for “official” information, but these “experts” clearly do not qualify as independent analysts. This inevitably leads to biased coverage of war and military activity, and gives the Pentagon streamlined access to instill it’s messaging into the minds of millions of American citizens.

Unfortunately, the links between the media and the military-industrial complex are not limited to what I have outlined here.

Although beyond the scope of this article, almost all forms of entertainment media—film, television, radio, video games, magazines, and, especially relevant today, all forms of social media—are also in many ways connected to the MIC and perpetuate militarism and pro-war ideologies. Here, however, I have attempted to focus upon how the news media’s relationship to the MIC affects our understanding and perception of war and military involvement—and how this has affected the ability of, in the words of Eisenhower, an “alert and knowledgeable citizenry” to “compel the proper meshing of the huge industrial and military machinery of defense with our peaceful methods and goals, so that security and liberty may prosper together.”

OPINIONS

Page 12

May 13, 2021

Don't get it twisted: Relative peace does not absolve Japan's racism Sam Patz

I

Guest Columnist

n Richard Wilkinson’s Ted Talk, “How Economic Inequality Harms Societies,” there is a striking consistency in the many different graphs of inequality that he shows: Japan is rated as one of the more equal societies, often grouped with Scandinavian countries. And Japan is indeed a more economically equal, healthy and safe society when compared to most other developed countries. After all, it ranked ninth highest on the 2019 Global Peace Index, compared to the United States’ measly 128th. Tokyo, the world’s largest metropolis, is also consistently ranked as the safest city in the world. However, these glorious statistics often distract from the Japanese government’s efforts in erasing its racist past.

Like the U.S., the Japanese government has a long history of racist policies, especially during its imperial era (1868-1947) when attitudes of racial superiority against colonial subjects prevailed. Forced assimilation policies directed at the Indigenous Ainu people of Hokkaido and in colonies like Okinawa, Korea and Taiwan all contributed to cultural erasure of non-Japanese subjects.

Imperial forces also committed a lengthy list of atrocities. They forced an estimated 200,000 (mostly Korean) women into sexual slavery, euphemistically referring to them as comfort women.

Additionally, there were numerous massacres of non-Japanese people during the colonial period. Thousands of Koreans were hunted down in the Kanto Massacre of 1923. The estimated death toll of the 1937-1938 Nanjing Massacre in China was over 300,000. And during WWII, Japanese soldiers ordered Okinawan civilians to commit suicide in order to avoid surrendering to American forces. These are only a few of the horrors Imperial Japan left in its wake.

To this day, the Japanese government continues to deny the extent of these atrocities, going to great lengths to rewrite its history. Tokyo governor Yuriko Koike has repeatedly denied that government officials were involved in the Kanto Massacre or that it even occurred in the first place.

Even though the government officially acknowledged the coercion of comfort women in 1993, conservatives like Former Prime Minister Shinzo Abe and current Prime Min-

ister Yoshihide Suga have downplayed, questioned and outright denied the military’s role in this horrific act. In 2014, Suga even looked to revise the 1993 admission but was curtailed by pressure from the Obama administration.

In January 2021, Suga rejected a Korean lawsuit demanding monetary compensation to 12 victims.

This revisionist history is further propagated by the Ministry of Education. In 2007, the Ministry revised its history textbooks (Japan has a centralized education system), changing the wording around the forced Okinawan suicides, removing mentions of them being ordered to do so by Japanese soldiers. On top of historical erasure, strict standardized language measures continue to perpetuate the erasure of Okinawan language and culture as well.

These concerted efforts to change history speak to larger issues of xenophobia in Japan, reflected in its notoriously restrictive immigration laws despite a rapidly shrinking population. Even though Japan boasted a record number of foreign residents in 2016, only approximately 1.4 percent of the population are non-citizens compared to the U.S.’s 14.8

percent. As Tokyo Bureau Chief for the New York Times Motoko Rich notes in the podcast “The Daily,” there is “[not a] majority but certainly a very large and vocal segment of the population [that] does not want [a nation of immigrants].” This fear of immigration is particularly apparent in the alarming health disparities between citizens and non-citizens, in part due to the barriers non-citizens face in obtaining healthcare.

Not only do the Japanese government’s actions continue to haunt and hurt the victims of Imperial Japan, but they also strain Pacific Rim relationships, most notably with South Korea. With leaders like Suga, the government is poised to continue its longstanding comprehensive approach to shaping a conservative nationalism that denies parts of Japan’s history and is generally hostile to a multiethnic society. Considering recent ostentatious displays of Chinese military aggression, Japan can ill afford murky relations with other U.S.backed Asian nations, nor can it economically withstand a restrictive immigration policy.

Japanese leaders must abandon these outdated nationalistic norms and begin restorative conversations with their victims.

rather integrated into the conversation and solutions. Money will not be the sole answer to the humanitarian crisis in Yemen, though, because a plague of violence between the Houthis and Saudi-led forces still continues with unabated force.

The recent Saudi air raids in March 2021 on a port for grains and a food production company reveal the effect of violence on the distribution of supplies. Bombing of food supplies violates agreements made by the warring parties and poses risks to the millions of people facing famine. Beyond this, the Saudi naval blockade on the major port of Hodeidah in Yemen has created obstacles for non-profit organizations on the ground distributing aid. In February of this year, zero fuel imports came through the Hodeidah port, preventing trucks from giving out food and cutting off energy for hospital generators. But the Saudis are not the only ones to blame for human rights violations.

As a matter of fact, the Houthis have been accused of diverting aid and selling it for

profit. They also are escalating tensions by expanding territory into the once-safe and oil-rich governorate of Marib and bombing oil facilities in Saudi Arabia.

Escalating violence in the region does not seem to have an end in sight, despite calls by diplomats and the United Nations for a nationwide ceasefire. People in Western media have seemingly forgotten about the war, despite its reliance on American money and support; most coverage of the ongoing humanitarian crisis is by Al Jazeera and a few British news outlets. What this discrepancy reveals is the failure to focus international attention on aid for the Yemeni people. Positive forces in the region are the frontline workers of this conflict, like Medicins San Frontieres (Doctors Without Borders) and the International Federation of the Red Cross, who risk their lives in the face of alarming attacks targeting medical facilities. However, the scope of their operations is limited due to reduced personnel and surrounding conflict. Rather than

searching for innovative solutions in the wake of this tragic situation, the United Nations and governments have repeated the same half-hearted calls for peace to deaf ears of militia fighters prioritizing money, oil and power over human lives, perhaps because these are the same priorities that emerge during higher-level dealings between the involved foreign governments.

Complex problems, as described, require complex solutions. Yemen faces attacks on all fronts: war, environment and security.

A single-minded view focused on the military solution will reap little to no benefits for the people and fail at creating long-term stability for the region. While no practical solution for Yemen may exist in today’s climate, the situation poses a precedent for future crises. Change will be necessary in policy and the execution of policy, specifically for the most powerful governments and organizations; not just for the sake of the Yemeni people, but the looming existential threats to other populations.

The forgotten war in Yemen rages along western shore Sanya Malhotra

C

Guest Columnist

onflict rages along the western shore of Yemen, a battle between multiple armed groups dating back to the formation of a Saudi-led and US-backed coalition in March 2015. The cohorts at the forefront are the Houthis, an Iran-backed militant group also referred to as Ansar Allah, and the Saudi-led coalition, who back the internationally recognized government of Yemen with allies which include the United Arab Emirates, the United Kingdom and the United States. In terms of arms sales, the United States was the single-most significant contributor to the Saudi forces, selling $64.1 billion worth to Riyadh from 2015 to 2019. This was a stark increase from the $3 billion they sold from 2010-2015. The inflating financial support reflects the U.S. administration’s strategic relationship with Saudi Arabia on the basis of foreign policy and oil interests.

Yet under President Joe Biden, some steps have been taken to ease conflict in the region. He called for a halt in support of offensive operations and lifted the designation of the Houthis as a terrorist organization. But beneath the government and policy affairs between the major powers, the Yemeni people are currently facing the worst imaginable crisis of the 21st century.

Due to the worsening conflict and exacerbated environmental problems, 24 million people are in need of humanitarian assistance in Yemen, which is more than 80 percent of the population. Despite the necessity for aid, donor pledges fell short by $2.15 billion at a UN international donor conference, most likely due to the impact of COVID-19 on nations’ economies. Nevertheless, the decline in humanitarian pledges in past years, specifically from the US and Saudi Arabia, point to a deflecting of personal accountability. Besides this basic ethical violation, such shrinking humanitarian budgets means prolonged suffering or death for the nearly 2.3 million Yemeni children under the age of 5 projected to endure acute malnutrition in 2021. A possible solution is to put in place mechanisms requiring involved party governments to contribute obligatory financial or other resources to victims of the conflict. One way or another, the impact of the deals between powerful leaders cannot be dismissed, but

Courtesy of United Nations OCHA via Flickr.

The opinions expressed above do not represent those of The Miscellany News as a whole.

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

May 13, 2021

OPINIONS

Page 13

Mayor De Blasio nixes snow days, disappointing children Ben Fikhman

T

Columnist

hroughout my grade school years in Brooklyn, as the snow fell outside my window, I got such a feeling of elation when I saw the announcement of a snow day in a Department of Education tweet or from the mayor. Just a blast of serotonin. I remember the excitement my friends and I shared, knowing that we would finally have just one more day of peace from the laborious demands of eight school hours.

A snow day was a traditional part of our childhood experience.

But last year came the coronavirus, temporarily revolutionizing our way of learning. Rain, shine, storm, snow, hail or hurricane, we were expected to Zoom into our lessons. Technology proved to be a blessing and demonstrated humanity’s collective power in adapting to the extenuating circumstances. Now, as normalcy approaches, the K-12 education and lifestyle will begin to feel the same as it did before, but one cherished hallmark will disappear.

The controversial New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio delivered a particularly controversial blow last Tuesday to snow days, a built-in tradition obviously non-controversial among K-12 students. De Blasio declared seven snow days throughout his tenure, two more than former Mayor Michael Bloomberg did throughout his 12 years in office. However, De Blasio has now declared snow days a thing of the past. This came after the New York City Department of Education announced the 2021-22 academic calendar, where they added, “On ‘Snow days’ or days when school buildings are closed due to an emergency, all students and families should plan on participating in remote learning.”

Mayor De Blasio could have made himself a champion of the youth, or at least, realistically, somewhat more likeable, by fighting the Department of Education’s decision to nix snow days. While it is understandable that a transition from “days off” to remote learning will mean that there won’t

be missed education due to weather events, the decision ignores all the benefits that snow days have to offer, not to mention it disappoints students, particularly during a generation of youth impacted mentally and socially by the presence and politics of the pandemic. Holidays are planned throughout each academic calendar, but snow days are being cancelled because they are unplanned. Yet to children in New York, that spontaneity of being unprecedented is exactly what makes them so special and worth keeping.

School is hard. Waking up at 6:30 a.m. is quite daunting, especially when it means entering the R Train daily with other glum, sleepy faces. Eight hours of classes with just one class-length lunch period in between is a slog that may leave students impatient, bored, tired and longing to burst out of the doors. In general, it is a part of life and should be endured to educate oneself while also engaging with social circles. However, snow days offer something almost magical in their ability to increase levels of happiness and offer a sweeping, unexpected sense of relief. Students know when holidays are and they expect to compartmentalize based around those dates. On the other hand, the element of surprise behind snow days is exactly what comprises the fabric of this tradition.

Snow days are an opportunity for students to sleep longer, catch up on work and for some, give their battered mental health the break it desperately needs. If a student has three essays due across two days, a snow day would be enriching mentally and academically. That same student may need to go to softball practice every single day after eight hours of school, or even have student government at 7 a.m. A snow day coming out of nowhere is an opportunity for the student to make their day as flexible as it can be: catching up on sleep, getting in a nice hour of sledding and delegating the many remaining hours of the day necessary to get work done on time. Besides, remote learning itself lacks genuine aspects of an educa-

tional experience. If we do not have a raging pandemic that makes virtual learning a necessity, let’s just not have it.

Besides, the cheerful quality of snow days will be more significant given socially restrictive circumstances that have been ongoing since March 2020. Snow days will become more special because children can finally relive one or two winter snow days in all their glory that they have not been able to relish this year. In making a decision about whether to nix school days or not, the mayor and Department of Education need to take a more compassionate approach.

The people who are expected to get the bad side of snow days are teachers. When it comes to curriculums, wasted time means readjusting or speeding up. However, whether a snow day has a positive or negative impact on a teacher may depend on that particular teacher and curriculum.

Sometimes, that unplanned day off can be a needed opportunity to readjust. Further, I remember having teachers throughout middle school and high school who have actually planned their curriculums in anticipation of 1-3 snow days, so no harm done. Let’s also not forget that teachers too love to recharge,

catch up on sleep and revitalize themselves before returning to their quotidian routine, whether they love their students or simply cannot stand them.

What about the snow itself? Isn’t it awesome for children to get to play in the snow (assuming the winter storm abates) before it turns into slush, or worse, yellow? Children and parents relish the first word of “snow day” as a part of the tradition, a promoter of happiness far outweighing a more restricted day partially consisting of remote learning. One thing to note about this rare happy boost is that it does very little to affect a child’s education; I would argue it even improves it. So, for the sake of zooming down a hill or chucking a snowball at a sibling’s face once in a blue moon, why not keep snow days? The coronavirus pandemic has taken a heavy toll on children, especially younger ones. Some parents are already planning on not having their children tune in to classes online during snow days. Let’s hope that the absence of snow days in this new 2021-22 academic calendar released by the Department of Education does not become permanent, or, even better, let's do something to reverse the current decision, Mr. Mayor.

Courtesy of Jazzy Guy via Flickr.

Juliette Pope/The Miscellany News The opinions expressed above do not represent those of The Miscellany News as a whole.

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

SPORTS

Page 14

May 13, 2021

Vassar Track's personal account of abuse and amorality Continued from Track on page 1 rector of the Office of Equal Opportunity & Affirmative Action Rachel Pereira, Director of Case Management Erika Pappas, Associate Athletic Director for Compliance & Student-Athlete Welfare Kaitlin Leach, the coaching staff and the entire track team, we prepared to present our case for removing this athlete from the team on the grounds of both Vassar policy and morality. That afternoon, our coaches sent an email describing the meeting as starting “a restorative justice dialogue about the challenges we are facing right now and the concerns raised this weekend.” They included a trigger warning: “We will discuss the process followed when an allegation of sexual misconduct is disclosed, and the College’s policies and federal law surrounding this.” Their intent was to give a presentation, more or less, on the policies that we already knew and had wanted to push back against. Additionally, without our knowledge, this meeting had become an amalgamation of what we had anticipated to be two separate meetings: one where the coaches would explain to the whole team what had happened over the weekend, and another where a smaller group of team lead-

ers and survivors would meet with Walsh and Leach without the coaches present.

As the meeting began, we were informed of the news—the athlete was reinstated.

Pending a Title IX conviction, they would be allowed to participate in team activities indefinitely. We argued, begged, accused, ridiculed and tried every other way we could think of to get administration to understand just how unjust this decision was. We failed.

Our protests fell on deaf ears, and no matter what we suggested, or how carefully we explained the nuances of our argument based

Jackie Molloy

From suggesting that a horse groomer took cough medicine and urinated on hay that Medina Spirit eventually ate to then blaming “cancel culture” for his banishment, the bizarreness of the whole ordeal no doubt reminded some of another cuckoo white man who used to dominate headlines (That same cuckoo white man also had something to say about the controversy, calling Medina Spirit a “junky” and that what happened is somehow evidence of how the United States is going to hell without him). Baffert did relent on Tuesday, saying that after talking with equine pharmacology experts, it is possible that the horse tested positive because of an antifungal ointment containing the drug that was used on the horse shortly before the race. Findings of the investigation might not be finalized for weeks, so until then Baffert will be banned and Medina Spirit’s title will be in limbo.

Although the gravity of a Derby winner being disqualified for a positive drug test is great (especially since it hasn’t happened since 1968), it wouldn’t have been nearly as damning if it hadn’t happened to the sport’s sacred son Baffert, or if this hadn’t been Baffert’s fifth medication violation in the past 13 months. In a sport riddled with doping in order to keep horses running through injuries, and with no centralized regulating authority, it shouldn’t be a surprise that the biggest name in the sport was also partaking in the sport’s open dirty secret.

It seems Baffert’s excuses are appearing thinner and more outlandish as the accusations continue to grow, and why shouldn’t they? Regardless of whether investigations were run by state governments or individual racing tracks, flimsy excuses have been enough to absolve trainers of blame.

When 2018 Triple Crown winner Justify tested positive for scopolamine at Santa Anita Race Course, an investigation found that his hay was contaminated with naturally-occurring jimsonweed, which could skew testing.

Then, positive lidocaine tests for horses Charlatan and Gamine in 2020 were said to be due to a patch that an assistant trainer wore. And when Gamine again tested positive, this time for bethamasadone, it was concluded that it was simply an unfortunate case of slow metabolism.

“We argued, begged, accused, ridiculed and tried every other way we could think of to get administration to understand just how unjust this decision was.

We failed.”

on the institution’s own policy,and legal study of title IX, we were shut down. Ultimately, we felt we had no choice but to resign en masse—to refuse to practice or compete unless the abuser was removed from the team space. That way, at least we weren’t complicit in his social standing on this campus. At a second meeting on Thursday, we were informed he had quit the team—and while that was a great measure of relief to all of us, many were left wondering what the College would have done had he not. We wondered what it would mean to go back to coaches who allowed this situation to progress until it reached a boiling point; how, after all this, we’re supposed to find meaning in a sport and on a team we all deeply care about.

We’re sharing our story like this because we don’t know where else to turn. As of right now, it’s unclear if Vassar College has a track team or if we will again in any immediate future. What we want is to feel safe—and to make sure our teammates feel safe. We want to end this horrible culture and undertake a serious effort to ensure that female athletes on this campus are equally able to hold space on a team. We want our

“As of right now, it's unclear if Vassar College has a track team or if we will again in any immediate future.” women’s team to have their own coaching staff, not only because two coaches spread thin between what is effectively four teams is inefficient, but also so that women can feel more comfortable coming forward with concerns about their safety.

A new coach does not guarantee that this will be accomplished, but it certainly seems easier to do when one coach is not responsible for both the abuser and the survivor.

But what we want most is an administration that cares about the well-being of its athletes, and not the well-being of its pocketbooks.

We know this won’t be the last chapter on sexual abuse on campus or in athletics. But we’d like it to be the last one that ends this way.

Doping calls results of Kentucky Derby into question T

Sports Editor

he Kentucky Derby has had a rough two years. In 2020, the race was postponed due to the raging COVID-19 pandemic, disrupting a 144-year run of competition and a 73-year record of holding the race on the first Saturday of May. The race was eventually rescheduled for September, but the year 2020 had already gone down in the Derby history books.

Despite the slow return to normalcy, the 2021 Derby was supposed to be regularly scheduled programming. And it certainly seemed like it would be at first. On May 1, trainer Bob Baffert, the sport’s reigning king and most visible personality, won his record seventh Derby with Medina Spirit.

All seemed to be business as usual. Until Medina Spirit failed a postrace drug test, throwing the horse’s—and Baffert’s—title into question.

On May 9, Hall-of-Famer Baffert announced that the three-year-old colt had tested positive for betamethasone, an anti-inflammatory corticosteroid sometimes used to relieve joint pain in horses.

Betamethasone is allowed in miniscule amounts in Kentucky racing, but post race testing detected 21 picograms per milliliter, which is more than double what’s permissible. A second test will now be conducted with a new blood sample, and if the original results are confirmed, Medina Spirit will officially be disqualified and second-place finisher Mandaloun will be crowned. It is not known when the second test results will be released, but in the meantime, Churchill Downs, the racing complex that hosts the Derby, has suspended Baffert from entering any horses at the racetrack until the investigation concludes.

Baffert immediately went on the defense, initially denying that there could be any betamethasone in the horse’s system, and further insinuating that the investigation was some sort of witch hunt (after all, why should he be singled out in a sport with numerous offending parties?).

With his wispy white bangs, trademark sunglasses and his presence a staple at every Triple Crown race, Baffert is Grade I racing’s superstar and has the outrageous personality to match—a personality that has been on full display the past few days.

That is a lot of strange answers from and accepted by the supposed gold standard of the sport, whose integrity is really starting to be questioned.Medina Spirit will still be running in the next Triple Crown race on May 15, the Preakness Stakes, despite all the investigations. Baffert has chosen not to attend, stating he does not want to be a distraction, and instead his longtime assistant will take his place. Baffert has agreed to prerace blood testing and monitoring in

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order for Medina Spirit to compete. Even with Baffert not attending, all attention will be on both him and his horse—during the race, and of course, after. Still, the coverage of the scandal will undoubtedly increase viewership, and bets, for the Preakness and the Belmont Stakes after.

Leave it to Bob Baffert to continue elevating his sport, even when he is increasingly being cast as the villain. And that’s why he has the crown.

Courtesy of Breederscup2010 via Flickr.

SPORTS

May 13, 2021

Page 15

Olympics, despite criticism, should remain on schedule Doug Cobb

Sports Editor

T

he Summer Olympics, much like the athletes who participate in them, are incredibly resilient. Since 1896, the Summer Olympics have been held every four years almost without fail, surviving the Great Depression, the Cold War (despite both Soviet and U.S. boycotts in separate years), a terrorist attack and even toxic water. Only three world events have been significant enough to warrant a cancellation or delay: World War I, World War II and some virus you have probably never heard of.

Indeed, one of the many casualties of the COVID-19 pandemic last year was the Summer Olympics, which were set to be held in Tokyo, Japan. This move was devastating to many of the athletes and spectators who planned to attend this monumental event; the Olympics have played host to some of the most significant events not just in sports but in world history. Whether it is the assembly of the greatest basketball team in human history, Tommie Smith and John Carlos’ iconic protest, Jesse Owens sticking it to Hitler and the Nazis by winning four gold medals in Berlin, Usain Bolt’s utter brilliance in three consecutive Olympics, the ice rink and basketball court serving as symbolic battlefields for the Cold War or Michael Phelps winning an uncountable amount of gold medals, the Olympics have produced moments that will never be forgotten.

Aside from their cultural and political significance, the Olympics also involve a whole lot of money: Japan has already spent at least $15 billion to prepare for the Games.

With this much money invested, it’s not surprising that the 2020 Tokyo Summer Olympics have been rescheduled for this summer.

As we all know by now, if there is money at stake, the show must go on; while Japan won’t reap the full benefits of tourism that usually accompanies the Games, the IOC will still rake in plenty from TV contracts.

However, considering the lingering state of the pandemic, many are not yet comfortable with such a large event being held.

This has caused some tension in Japan and numerous hot takes and speculation from the rest of the world. The Japanese government has said explicitly that the Games will be held this summer, despite around 70 percent of Japanese citizens saying they do not

feel comfortable with this decision.

But, we have seen that sporting events can succeed with the right protocols in place, both here in the United States and the rest of the world. The MLB, NBA, NFL, NHL, NWSL, WNBA, Premier League and even the NCAA, among others, have all operated at least somewhat successfully during the pandemic, albeit with some modifications.

As I have written about too many times to count, sports at all levels can be held safely if strict enough precautions are put in place, with a bubble strategy being the most effective.

In response to the world-wide concerns, Japanese officials have released a “playbook” for the athletes that outlines all the required safety measures to mitigate spread of the virus. They include wearing a mask at all times except when eating, sleeping or competing, a required test before and after arriving in Japan, a minimum three-day quarantine, completion of a daily health screening and daily COVID-19 testing. The playbook also outlines a pseudo-bubble that the athletes are expected to comply with: no using public transportation (only “dedicated Games vehicles”), no guests allowed in the Olympic Village and athletes are not permitted to go to tourist attractions, restaurants, gyms, bars, shops or any other non-official Games venues without receiving special

“But, we have seen that sporting events can succeed with the right protocols in place, both here in the United States and the rest of the world.” permission. I call this a “pseudo-bubble” because there do not seem to be any procedures in place to enforce some of these restrictions, meaning that it will be up to the athletes to hold themselves accountable and not sneak off or break other rules (much like how Vassar’s own policy of the campus “bubble” has operated since the beginning). Additionally, no international fans will be allowed to attend the Games, while rules concerning

Courtesy of Flickrworker via Wikimedia Commons. domestic fans have yet to be released.

So what’s the big idea? These restrictions are about as stringent and safety-oriented as you can get, and we have seen many sports leagues operate during the pandemic already. Yet, none of those leagues are on the international scale of the Olympics, which will have competitors from 205 different countries. All these athletes are coming from situations where case numbers, testing capabilities, vaccine access and more vary widely. Additionally, despite early success fighting the virus, Japan has struggled as of late. Japan is going through a fourth wave of infections right now, averaging over 5,000 new cases a day at the time of this writing, up from about 1,000 cases a day in early March. Possibly more concerning is the fact that only 2.5 percent of Japan’s population has received at least one dose of the vaccine, leaving them vulnerable to continued spikes in infection rates. These numbers illustrate why many Japanese citizens are having second thoughts about hosting the Games this summer, including some athletes like Naomi Osaka.

But as I mentioned before, the Japanese government along with the IOC has fully committed to moving forward with the Games this summer, so the question is not will the Games be held, but rather, should they? It is easy to understand the apprehensiveness of Japanese citizens given the numbers cited above, but the Olympics have

so much cultural significance, not just as a form of pride for the host country but for the entire world. I’ll spare you the whole spiel about how the Olympics “transcend politics” (they clearly don’t, as I have already discussed), but they truly are a unique moment where the world’s countries join together for competition despite political differences. Not only are the Games a cool moment of global unity, but they are also a celebration of the world and some of its most popular pastimes. These Olympics won’t

“Not only are the Games a cool moment of global unity, but they are also a celebration of the world and some of its most popular pastimes.” have all the usual festivities we have grown accustomed to, but they will undoubtedly be a huge morale boost for the athletes, and the entire world. With reasonable and cautious protocols in place, I see no reason why the Olympics can’t happen.

After all, with the whole world reeling from the events of 2020 and now 2021, it seems like everyone could use an uplifting event to look forward to.

Answers to last week’s crossword puzzles

“National ___ Day in May” by Reese Collins

“Themeless #4” By Greg Calidonna and Ian Rosevear

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Page 16

CROSSWORD The Miscellany Crosswords “Sign Language”

ACROSS 1. Imitates a famous alum 5. Single off "KOD" 8. First episode 13. Type of non-alcoholic beer 14. " ___ ever!"

15. Natives of the Finger Lakes 16. Chichén Itzá civilization 17. *Square 19. Place of commerce 21. ––––––?

22. 82nd most common surname in China 23. Comedy group on campus 24. Apparent 27. Obsolete AAA handouts 32. Flub 33. Settings of many ABC/NBC dramas 34. Cut into narrow segments, in botany 38. *Pentagon 42. Sadly inedible vine?

43. Vietnam prez 44. Horror film franchise that you might have watched?

45. Flattens 48. Like Kanye or earth 52. Early programmer Lovelace 53. Actress Thurman 54. Pirogue or catamaran 57. Big instruments 60. *Rectangle 64. Jones who competed in both winter & summer olympics 65. Ride that's to die for?

May 13, 2021

By Reese Collins

66. Span of time 67. Desmond in a new dress?

68. Makes music vocally 69. Brooklyn baller 70. *Octagon

DOWN 1. How an octopus readies for war?

2. Jacket 3. Aichi Prefecture city 4. Eyed 5. + 6. Useful thing 7. Small 8. Micturate 9. Cozy hotel 10. River of forgetfulness 11. "Blonde" musician 12. Pyschic's deck 15. Loser in '52 & '56 18. The loneliest number 20. Shady tree 25. It might be hazel 26. Etch 27. In media ___ 28. Killer whale 29. Sanctioned, as in an event 30. Alliance 31. Toss out 35. A tiny bit 36. "Let's _________ sex" 37. Major river through Germany 39. "-ish" 40. October birthstone

41. Energy units 46. Dr. Whiskers, I presume?

47. Old people 48. Laura, George, et al.

49. Designer of a glass pyramid 50. Hymn 51. Bang for the buck (abbr.)

55. "You can say that again!"

56. Grow weary of the Goodyear blimp?

58. Cher's range 59. Warhol's muse 61. 0.0000000001 41-across 62. Safety net gov org.

63. Ink

Juliette Pope/The Miscellany News MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE