Developing & Encouraging Safe Faith Conversations by Kingdom Impact Theater Ministries

Developing and Encouraging Safe Faith Conversations

’S ABOUT

Part One

FAITH: IT’S ABOUT YOU

Questions to Ponder for Self or Group

How do you define faith?

In what or whom do you have faith?

Do you practice your faith with others or alone?

How often do you participate in faith practices?

Daily

Weekly

Monthly

A few times a year

Holidays

What? Me practice?

What are your goals in this session?

What is a specific faith challenge you have: personally, within your community, or within your coalition?

What do you wish people understood better about your faith?

What is a practical tool you wish to return home with?

Part Two

FAITH: IT’S ABOUT LIVING

Questions to Ponder for Self or Group

 What does your faith, or any faith you have heard of, have to say about issues facing daily life or that your coalition is trying to address? Circle any that your faith speaks of. Safe replies include “None” and “No Idea.”

Add any issues not on the list:

Addictions

Drug Use

Drinking

Gambling

Sexual Health

Gender Identity

Mental Health

Recovery

Suicide

Why is a person’s faith an important factor in addressing these issues?

What does your faith say about these issues that may seem contrary to what you see or hear daily among peers or people who say they follow the same faith?

What does your faith say about these issues that may seem contrary to what you have been taught, or what you may be asked to teach?

BENEFITS OF FAITH

How might including faith components in prevention or treatment, along with medical or psychological assistance, benefit individuals struggling with the above issues?

Part Three

FAITH: IT’S ABOUT OTHERS Questions to Ponder for Self or Group

 Whataretherisksoffaithconversationsontheseissues?

 Whyareconversationsaboutfaithdifficult?

 Howdowehavethemdespitetherisks?

I. KNOW YOUR AUDIENCE

 Towhom,withwhomareyouspeaking?

 Whataresimilaritiesanddifferencesinbackgroundsandbeliefs?

 Whatresourcescanyouprovidetoaddresstheirneedsandyourresponsibilities?

II. DEFINE THE TERMINOLOGY

•Safe Faith Conversation: "

1. The ability to discuss religious or spiritual beliefs (or lack thereof) without fear of judgment or retaliation.

2. An atmosphere allowing me to apply my religious or spiritual beliefs to complement therapeutic treatment I’m receiving.

Faith:

1. Belief in something or someone with abilities beyond my own.

2. Belief, trust in rites, rituals of religion, culture, spirituality, supernatural that help address the question, “What happens when we die?”

Communication:

1. Sharing yourself verbally and non-verbally so that others accept and understand what you’re saying.

How Do We Communicate?

• 55 percent nonverbal • 37 percent intonation • 8 percent actual words

5 Levels of Communication

1. Cliches: Very safe.  No personal sharing.  "Fine. Howareyou?”

2. Facts:  Safe.  Reporter talk.  Repeat Data.  No personal sharing.

"Justgivemethefacts."

3. Ideas; Judgments:  Cautious risk-taking.  First step toward revealing communication.

"DoyouknowwhatIthink?"

4. Feelings; Emotion:  Sharing underneath feelings about facts, ideas or judgments.  Essential to share self.  "LetmetellyouhowIfeel."

5. Open, Truthful:  Most difficult for fear of rejection.  Essential for relationship to grow. Physically, emotionally satisfying when achieved.  "Let'sbehonest..."

4 Thoughts When Communicating

• Will they really care about me?

• Will they really listen?

• Will they still love me when they "know" me?

• Will they value me as a person?

III. EMBRACE CONFLICT

Whydoweshun “conflicts”?

 Howmightconflictsinspirefaith?

Conflict:

1. A sharp disagreement over interests, ideas, etc.

2. A battle between satisfying needs and maintaining relationships.

3. Perhaps a symptom of something else.

4. Source of drama.

5. A fact of life.

6. An opportunity for growth

• Being woke... From a good sleep.

What Causes Conflict?

• When there is uncertainty about circumstances.

• When we make assumptions about others.

• When are afraid to know others.

Most people do not deal openly with conflict because no one has ever taught them effective ways of dealing.

• Ideas

• Issues

• Personalities

IV. UNDERSTAND YOUR BIASES

 How does your attitude undermine faith?

Factors Influencing Conflict

Beliefs: e.g., politics philosophy, religion. Background: e.g., culture, family, systems.

• Relationships

• Desire to resolve

• Approach to Resolution

5 Conflict Responses

Ingeneral,whenconflictoccurs,whatisyourdefaultinternalresponse?

CircleorRank1-5

STATEMENT

“I’ll get out.”

“I’ll get even.” “I’ll give in.”

“I’ll give a little to get a little.”

“I care enough to confront the other person.”

CAREFRONTING

STYLE

Caring enough to confront a person about an issue to maintain the relationship.

HUMOR BREAK

Whyissenseofhumorimportantinfaithdiscussions?

Sense of Humor: "

• The ability to find non-serious elements in serious situations.

• Comprised of

• Humor

• NOT just telling jokes

Healthy Humor

• A critical leadership skill

• Laughter

• Comedy

• An essential survival skill

• Social Emotional Learning skill of maturity, building relationships, bridging conflicts

Safe Faith Conversation Key

Inmattersoffaithandrelationship-buildinglearn

• Atwhomtolaugh

• Atwhattolaugh

• Wheretolaugh

• Whentolaugh

• Whywelaugh

• Howtolaugh

Laughter Exercises

“Warm Up”

1. Check your pulse.

2. Make a note of it.

3. Stretch

Sounds of Laughter

Ho-ho-ho Works the Diaphragm

Ha-Ha-Ha Works the Mouth and Jaw

He-He-He Works the Lips and Cheeks

“Ho-Ho, Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha Dance”

Ho-ho-Ha-Ha-Ha

Add A Clap --

Add a Dance in Place

Raise Your Hands and Shout ‘Yeah’ “Cool Down”

The Blue Danube Waltz

• Check your pulse. Check your brain.

Howdoyoufeelcomparedtowhencamein? “Sad, Mad, Glad” “What Are You Doing?” “Yes, And…”

“Thank you because…”

Part Four

FAITH: IT’S ABOUT ACTION

V-VII: SAFE FAITH EXERCISES

Whatdoesitmean“toworkoutyourfaith”?

IMPROVISATIONS FOR CONNECTING, OBSERVING, DISCOVERING

• Eye-to-Eye Contact*

• Give-and-Take

• Four Corners 6. • Emotional Snapshot

IMPROVISATIONS FOR LISTENING, SPEAKING, HONORING

“Breathe Before You Speak”

Conversation Mirror

Distractions

Two Magic Words

Give One-Get One**

Designated Speaker

step-by-step instructions visit

Breathe Before You Speak

0=never;5=sometimes;10=mostofthetime.

(from "The Don't Sweat the Small Stuff" Workbook by Richard Carlson, Ph. D.)

1. Are you uncomfortable with pauses in conversations?

2. Are you impatient with people who are slow to get to the point?

3. Do you listen with half a brain while the other half plans what you're going to say?

4. Do you anxiously wait for an opening (any opening) to express your point of view?

5. Do you interrupt others or finish their sentences?

6. Do you say, "Yeah, Yeah" or "I know" very rapidly to urge others to hurry up so you can have your turn?

7. Do you criticize points of view or form opinions before others have finished speaking?

8. Do you ever get the sense that you annoy, bother, or irritate your fellow communicators?

9. When people pause to contemplate their answers, do you perceive great time gaps in the conversation?

10. When people pause to take a breath before speaking, do you perceive an uncomfortable time gap in the conversation?

Total

Circle any particular issue(s) with which you struggle.

Part Five

FAITH: IT’S ABOUT ENGAGEMENT

How to Build Your Safe Faith Community

VII-IX: SAFE FAITH ACTIVITIES

FACE-TO-FACE

How Do We Listen?

• Other people have something to say they feel is important, and they won't be ready to listen to you until they have said it.

• People feel honored, willing to speak when they feel you’re open to listen

• Instead of demanding that you be heard, listen carefully to the other person.

1. Consider the other's feelings and _________________.

2. Listen to ____________ and _____________.

3. Listen for ____ minutes without interrupting.

A Listening Mirror

1. Paraphrase back what the speaker has said to clarify.

2. ______ _____________ when unclear:

"What I hear you saying is... Is that correct?"

"What I understand you to say is... Is that correct?"

VII-IX: SAFEFAITHACTIVITIES

GROUPCONVERSATIONS&RESEARCH

What do the faiths in your community have to say about issues facing your coalition?

FOR DISCUSSION USING COMMUNICATION EXERCISES

Commandments & Rules

Consider The Ten Commandments and The Golden Rule:

1. What effect on student behavior or choices could either of these spiritual principles have if posted in a school?

2. How might a school atmosphere improve if spiritual principles were more openly discussed, whether posted or not?

Safe Faith Assignment

1. Discuss action steps a coalition can take to stimulate faith conversations between families, schools and houses of worship in your community.

Safe Faith Action Steps

• Find Your Resources (Group)

• Share Your Faith (Personal)

• Share Your Faith Perspective On…(Issues)

• Conduct Youth Survey

1. Find Your Resources (Group)

2. Create a Faith Directory of Your Community

3. Outline Your Primary Coalition Initiatives

4. Meet the Primary Spiritual Leader to Introduce Your Coalition

5. Meet the Staff Member or Volunteers Who Work with Youth

6. Ask What Spiritual Teachings Align with Coalition Initiatives (written, spoken, classes)

7. Ask What Issues Their Congregation or Members Struggle With

8. Offer Your Resources as Possible Practical Assets for Struggling Members

9. Build Relationship Through Social Media, In-house Promoting, Projects

10.Establish a Prayer Relationship: Make Requests, Include a Prayer Time in Coalition Meetings

11.Visit Each Others’ Locations

12.Create a Coalition Chaplain Position

• Bonus Fun: Create a no-cost “commercial” about your coalition, using only Coalition Members, spending no money, lasting no more than 60 seconds.

1. Fill in one square in each row.

2. Go to different individuals in the room to get an answer to fill in an empty square.

3. Ask: “May I give you an answer.” Do you have an answer for? "Do you need any answers?”

4. Exchange, replies; Exchange “Thank yous.” Repeat with other people until sheet is filled or time ends.

Words or Actions that

Encourage Faith Talks

Words or Actions that

Discourage Faith Talks

A Question About Faith I Have Is...

A Common

Misperception About My Faith is...

Something About My Faith I Wish Others Understood Better Is... Something

Comforting About My Faith is...

About Michael Edgar Myers

Michael Edgar Myers is a pastor, actor, educator and author in suburban Chicago.

He has represented the faith sector on the Communities for Positive Youth Development sector in Schaumburg, IL, since 2016.

His professional career has concentrated on employing theater arts to train students, teachers and families to develop skills in interpersonal communication, team building, conflict management and financial literacy.

Michael's professional theater career included teaching these skills and performing in improvisational revues for public and private educational organizations in 49 U.S. states, in Singapore and Holland. As a proponent of developing humor as a social, emotional learning skill.

Michael is a member of the Association of Applied and Therapeutic Humor (AATH), an international network of professionals whose mission is to elevate and nourish the human spirit through the intentional use of humor and laughter.

He applies those principles to his work as co-founder of Kingdom Impact Theater Ministries, a touring ensemble of theater missionaries, who use performing arts to entertain, educate, equip and empower Safe Faith Conversations among churches, schools, businesses and community agencies.

MICHAEL’S MEDIA

Audiobooks: tinyurl.com/MEMaudible Blogs: MEMos From Michael Edgar Myers: myersplacemedia.wordpress.com/ Twitter Thought: @MyersMedia0429

Commercial Narrations & Interviews: soundcloud.com/michaelmyers-4

About Kingdom Impact Theater Ministries

Kingdom Impact Theater Ministries is a non-denomination ensemble of traveling theater missionaries who use performing arts to facilitate Safe Faith Conversations. Among its performance repertoire, KIT Ministries offers concerts, historical reader’s theater, leadership training and community outreach programming. KIT’s mission is to entertain, educate, equip and empower houses of worship, schools, businesses and community agencies. Kingdom Impact Theater Ministries is located in Elk Grove Village, IL., a suburb of O’Hare International Airport in Chicago. Further information may be obtained at kit-ministries.com.

“Developing and Encouraging

"Anger Workbook," Les Carter and Frank Minirth, Thomas Nelsen Publishers.

"Before You Say, 'I Do' " by Wes Roberts & H. Norman Wright. 1978 Harvest House Publishers.

"Teaching TSRs, The Art of Listening," by Adrian Miller, Adrian Miller Direct Marketing; Human Resources Development, March 1996.

"When You Don't Agree," James Fairchild, Herald Press.