PCRASH COURSE
lease don’t take offense at the topic of this column shown below. There are so many people out there who are already doing a great job of bad driving, and we hereby acknowledge them. But even bad drivers can get worse if they just give it a little extra effort. If you are a bad driver you probably don’t know or admit it — you’re too modest! — but if you are aware, we hope you’ll appreciate a few finer points that can elevate your game in small but important ways.
How to be a bad driver, Part I
For example, it would be ridiculously easy to start by reminding you not to use your turn signals. That is so amateur! That’s Bad Driving 101! Here is a subtle yet sophisticated refinement: sit in a left turn lane — no blinker, of course — and when you get the arrow or a green, then turn your blinker on. Even more of a finesse move is to go maybe halfway through the turn and at that point, finally flip the turn signal on.
{ {
is especially valuable in downtown areas, or any place where there are lots of pedestrians. If you’re caught by a stale red — if it’s a fresh red, go right on through (more about that in a moment) — you’re going to have to stop. There is usually a heavy white line that drivers are supposed to stay behind when stopped on reds. Past that in the aforementioned areas is very often a diagonally-striped crosswalk. You brand yourself as a bad driver of a higher caliber if you stop past the heavy line, fully in the crosswalk. Across the crosswalk, if you will.
Before we leave the subject of intersections, if you’re approaching one and the light goes yellow, the last thing you want to do is slow down! Hit the gas! If it’s too late and the light has already turned red before you enter the intersection — what we call a fresh red — here is the formula: if you can count “one Mississippi, two Mississippi,
READ MAKE AMERICA
A newly published study has found that the number of Americans who read for pleasure on any given day has fallen steadily over the past 20 years — an overall drop of 40% — and now stands at a mere 16%. The research, conducted by the University of Florida and University College London, probed the reading habits of more than 236,000 Americans. One of the most unfortunate findings was that among the respondents with children under age 9 (20% of surveyed households), only about 2% read with their children on an average day.
Why are we reading less, and why should we care?
Since the launch of the study in 2003, major societal shifts have taken place. Some among us may remember when there were only 3 or 4 TV channels: ABC, CBS, NBC, and public TV. Now there are hundreds of choices. There is also much more digital media, and much of it comes packaged in bite-sized, instant-gratification, short-form content. Reading books, by comparison, can seem slow, boring, and overloaded with too much content.
The researchers also noted the changing face of family economics. Believe it or not, boys and girls, back in the day people didn’t sit in traffic jams every day as they do in many big cities, spending hours commuting to and from work. Working multiple jobs is nothing new, but it has gotten more common in recent decades, leading to
Speaking of intersections, here’s a tip that
Please see CRASH COURSE page 10
PARENTHOOD
by Dr. Warren Umansky, PhD
Your kids are always fighting with each other. When one of them is playing nicely, one of the others starts picking and deliberately annoying them. At the dinner table, the fussing becomes unbearable some nights. Car rides are a dangerous nightmare. What do you do?
A. You’re sure you can make things better. Children shouldn’t behave that way.
B. That’s just kids being kids. They’ll outgrow it.
C. A good spanking always works. That will surely stop the fighting.
D. It’s time to have a family meeting.
If you answered:
A. Be sure adults and other children around them are good role models of kindness and respect. You don’t have control of which children your children see or associate with in school. But, you certainly want to encourage them to have good friends and you want to know who they hang around with. Second, have a zero tolerance for putting hands on each other at home. When it happens, you have to respond quickly. “If you can’t keep your hands to yourself, you can go to your room and stay there until you’re ready to be kind. We want to have a pleasant time out here. If you want to be out here with us, you have to be kinder and keep your hands to yourself.” If you’re consistent and respond quickly, you will be rewarded with a much friendlier home with children who get along.
B. Kids don’t have to act that way. They do because they see others doing it, because they get away with it, and because they haven’t been recognized for getting along well and doing the right thing. It can be a whole lot better.
C. Hitting your kids for hitting each other?! Not such a good lesson. Discipline is not punishment; it is teaching. We don’t want to hurt kids in order for them to learn how to behave. Try the strategy in A and feel better about your role as parent.
D.This always is a good idea, whether it takes place during dinner or as an evening or weekend event. Family meetings provide a serious opportunity to talk about how things are going at home and how everyone has a role to make life more fun and more successful. That should be every parent’s goal for their children: an enjoyable and successful childhood filled with good memory-making time together. It’s a particularly good time to talk about how to treat each other and the need for everyone to help out. Communication is important. If everyone is talking to each other at home regularly and respectfully, there will be fewer problems.
Dr. Umansky has a child behavioral health practice in Augusta.
THOUGHTS ABOUT THOUGHTS THOUGHTS
WHEN SHOPPING TAKES OVER Compulsive Buying Disorder
“I told myself it was just one more pair of shoes,” Melissa admitted, glancing at the unopened boxes stacked in her closet. “But the rush I felt when I swiped my card didn’t last. By the time I got home, I felt guilty and panicked about how I’d pay the bills.”
For Melissa, shopping wasn’t just about buying things — it became a way to cope with stress, boredom, and loneliness. What started as the occasional splurge developed into daily online orders, maxed-out credit cards, and overwhelming shame. She was experiencing what mental health professionals call Compulsive Buying Disorder.
What is Compulsive Buying Disorder?
similar to other addictions
• Environmental factors: Consumer culture, social pressure, targeted advertising
• Co-occurring conditions: May overlap with mood disorders, substance use, or obsessive-compulsive tendencies
Treatment and Management
Effective treatment often requires a combination of approaches:
• Psychotherapy: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) to identify triggers and change thought patterns
• Medication: Antidepressants or mood stabilizers may help when co-occurring conditions are present
MEDICAL MYTHOLOGY MEDICAL MYTHOLOGY
1. “It’s just overspending.”
Compulsive buying is not simply poor budgeting; it’s a mental health disorder.
2. “People who shop too much are materialistic.”
Many struggle with deeper emotional pain that drives the behavior.
3. “Stopping is all about willpower.”
Like other addictions, it often requires professional help
4. “It must be nice to be wealthy enough to do this.”
Editor’s note: Written by local mental healthcare professionals, this series shares thoughts on how people may think and act when affected by common and lesser-known mental health conditions. +
Compulsive Buying Disorder (also called oniomania or compulsive shopping) is a behavioral addiction characterized by persistent, excessive, and uncontrollable urges to shop or spend money— even when it leads to financial, emotional, or relational distress.
While occasional “retail therapy” is common, individuals with this disorder shop not for necessity or enjoyment but as a way to temporarily relieve negative emotions. The behavior often escalates over time, creating a cycle of short-lived pleasure followed by guilt and consequences.
Signs and Symptoms
• Frequent, irresistible urges to shop or spend money
• Buying items not needed or never used
• Feeling euphoria or relief when making purchases
This disorder affects individuals across all income levels.
• Guilt, shame, or regret after shopping
• Hiding purchases or debt from loved ones
• Financial hardship, credit problems, or strained relationships due to spending
• Failed attempts to cut back or stop shopping
What Causes Compulsive Buying Disorder?
We don’t fully understand what causes this disorder, but contributing factors may include:
• Psychological factors: Anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, or high impulsivity
• Biological factors: Brain reward system dysfunction,
• Financial counseling: Budgeting support and accountability systems to manage debt
• Support groups: Such as Debtors Anonymous, to reduce isolation and provide coping strategies
• Lifestyle adjustments: Building healthier coping skills to manage stress and emotions without shopping
Prognosis
With treatment, individuals can regain control over their finances and emotions, restoring healthier relationships and self-esteem. Left untreated, compulsive buying can result in severe debt, family conflict, anxiety, depression, and even legal troubles.
Need Support?
IPS provides comprehensive behavioral health services including assessment, therapy, and treatment planning for individuals and families navigating both common and lesser-known mental health conditions. To schedule an appointment, call 706-204-1366 or visit integratedpsych.care.
24/7, free, confidential mental health hot-line that connects individuals in need of support with counselors across the United States and its territories. People do not have to be suicidal to call. Reasons to call include: substance use disorder, economic worries, relationships, culture and identity, illness, intimate partner violence, depression, mental and physical illness, and loneliness. +
WANDA KEMP
by Pat Tante LIMEBO OBITUARY
Have you ever cried over a plant you have lost? That’s silly, you say. But perhaps your favorite shade tree fell over during Hurricane Helene, or the rosebush your now deceased grandmother gifted you from her garden did not survive. The following true story still makes me cry.
I am sad to announce the passing of Limebo. His last weeks were watched carefully since last winter’s freeze. We would check his progress, looking for some small bit of green to assure us that he would survive. But it was not to be.
What follows is his life history, a life well lived.
Many years ago Limebo was a precious friendship gift from a friend. A real lime plant! I was so excited. For several years I tended him carefully, hoping for the day when I could harvest my own limes. I had no idea when maturity might be reached but I would check him often for blossoms or tiny green fruit.
Every year at the onset of winter, I dutifully brought him inside, knowing that being tropical he might not survive the cold. But as he grew and his very thorny branches spread, it became more and more difficult to bring him inside. It was almost as if he did not want to leave the patio.
I persevered though and continued struggling to get him inside for the winter.
Finally, it became too much for me – he was pretty large by this time. I did not want to throw up my hands and leave him outside for winter’s icy fingers. But I had an idea. Friends LizAnne and Gordon had a large sunroom. Maybe they would adopt him. They were very understanding, so Limebo went to live with them in a large pot that they could wheel outside. I was happy, Limebo was happy, and LizAnne and Gordon were good parents.
That first year, I received a beautiful lime which was hung on my front door handle. Now I knew that Limebo
Please see LIMEBO page 10
Who is this?
Several months ago (in our February 7 issue, to be exact) we profiled one of this man’s co-workers. As long-time colleagues, you would think they might be like two peas in a pod, but nothing could be further from the truth. If you’re interested, it’s “Who is this?” #228, available by typing or clicking this link: https://issuu.com/medicalexaminer/ docs/medical_examiner_2.7.25. That February installment profiled William Halsted who, along with this gentleman and two others, were known as “the Big Four,” the founders of Johns Hopkins Hospital. We’ll profile the other two in our next two issues.
Today we’re focusing on Howard Atwood Kelly, born in 1858 in Camden, New Jersey. He came from a distinguished family that was prominent in both business and politics. His great great grandfather, Michael Hillegas, was the very first Treasurer of the United States. While William Halsted battled cocaine and heroin addiction for much of his life, Howard Kelly was a devout Episcopalian and lifelong teetotaler and prohibitionist (see what we mean about not being two peas?). In 1873 at age 15 he started his undergraduate education at the University of Pennsylvania, and by age 17 he was a member of the Philadelphia Academy of Natural Sciences. He earned his Bachelor’s degree at age 19 and immediately enrolled in medical school, graduating in 1882.
Before his 30th birthday, Kelly had interned with noteworthy and still-famous physicians across Europe, had opened his own private practice and clinic (which became just the 6th hospital in the United States for women), and built a reputation as an innovator in surgical techniques. He is considered to be the doctor who created and established gynecology as a separate and distinct branch of medicine, and along the way left a trail of eponymous discoveries, inventions and innovations: Kelly’s stitch, Kelly’s sign, Kelly’s forceps, the Kelly speculum. He was a leader in the then-new field of radiation therapy for cancer treatment.
He was a noted author and educator, writing well over 500 books and articles over the course of his career, including his major work, Operative Gynecology. As a professor at Johns Hopkins, a teaching hospital, Kelly was not a proponent of either teaching through lectures, or through viewing operations in operating theaters, both common practices at the time. No lecture could ever compare with seeing and performing the actual work, but students six rows up in an operating theater could see very little. Kelly rounded on patients and performed operations accompanied by small groups of students.
Howard Kelly married the daughter of a doctor he met while in Germany in 1889. Together they raised nine children in a five-story, eight bedroom home (replete with a 100,000-volume libray) in Baltimore.
Dr. Kelly and his wife died within about six hours of each other at Union Memorial Hospital in Baltimore on January 12, 1943, he at age 84, she at age 80. +
ADVENTURES IN
Middle Age
BY J.B. COLLUM
The hits keep coming. My sister-in-law, Teresa, just lost her mother a few days ago. She had been spending every day at her mother’s home, taking care of her while she waited for the inevitable. I’ve been in that situation, and probably a lot of our readers have been too, especially if you are in the demographic the column is named for. Despite experience with these situations, we never get used to them, and we aren’t meant to. We just do the best we can for them while they are here. When we don’t know what to do next, we just do what they suggest in my granddaughter’s current favorite Disney movie (Frozen II): “do the next right thing.”
Out of fuel?
Buy a tool.
{ {
Sometimes when dealing with the health challenges of our loved ones, we can’t wrap our minds around what is going to happen even the next day, much less a month from now. So, when we can’t know what comes tomorrow or can’t bear to face it, we can just focus on doing what is possible right now, in the moment. Doing the right thing in this case, means not just doing the right thing for our seriously ill or even dying loved one, but for ourselves as well. Let others share the load. Don’t assume they won’t help. Ask for help. Look into what insurance can or will do for them. Look into what federal, state, local and even charitable programs offer for them and for you. Sometimes we are so deep into a problem that we can’t see over the edge. We don’t even know that we are digging it deeper and making it even harder to see help up there at ground level. We get tunnel vision and never look up top for help. Take a break. Climb to the surface. A nice shiny diesel-powered excavator might be sitting there just waiting to be useful. Metaphorically speaking, of course.
Well, mostly. Maybe your problem literally needs a tool to help. That is a form of therapy for me.
When I have a task that seems too challenging, I find a tool I can buy to make it easier to accomplish and to encourage me to get started. It doesn’t always work, of course, but at least I got a nice new tool. Cue my wife rolling her eyes now as she affirms the truth of that statement.
The depths of my procrastination and laziness have yet to be plumbed.
My cousin continues to show rapid improvement, has finished his in-patient
therapy and now enjoys continuing that therapy at home. Well, saying he enjoys it is probably a stretch, but he knows what it is for and is taking his “medicine” like a champ. We look forward to the day in the very near future when he will be able to come over on a Saturday afternoon for an afternoon and evening of good food, good friends, and hopefully, good college football games. I even promised him Lorie’s famous barbecued ribs. If that doesn’t get him walking or even running without assistance, nothing will. I continue my attempts at getting more exercise, though the frequent thunderstorms we’ve had recently have kept me out of the pool. I will redouble my efforts there and report the results at some future date. I think I’ve mentioned something before about getting a treadmill of some sort so the weather won’t keep me from exercising, so maybe that is next. Or maybe I’m just procrastinating again. If I am, at least we’ll have something nice to hang clothes on in our bedroom.
One more thing. I have been receiving an increased amount of very nice email messages and even some hand-written letters and very surprisingly, gifts. Thank you very much to all of you who did that, and you know who you are. I got a book and a movie recently and though I haven’t gotten to checking them out yet, I do plan on doing that very soon. I probably need to say this, too: If you send me any T-Shirts as gifts, I’m still wearing 3X size, and don’t bother to send smaller sizes to encourage me to lose weight, because my wife will just wear them as nightgowns if they are too small for me and if they’re too big for her as a night gown, like a 4X or larger, we just use them as blankets or pretend tents for our youngest grandkids. Also, I’m not asking for gifts, I’m just letting you know what could happen if you send the wrong size.
Until next time, take care of yourselves and your loved ones, because although growing old is tough, it is usually better than the alternative.
+
J.B. Collum, author of this column and Special Forces Parenting, is a local novelist, humorist and columnist who wants to be Mark Twain when he grows up. He may be reached at johnbcollum@gmail.com
Special Forces
Parenting
Our son moved back into the area and is now just a few miles away from us versus being in New York, Myrtle Beach, or even Europe, all places he has recently lived in or spent a lot of time in. Being back has really helped with the grandchildren. He is a fun uncle.
In many ways, he reminds me of my Great Aunt Marion. She never had any children of her own. She married a much older travelling minister and worked in the ministry alongside him. When she came to visit, she always brought little gifts for us children. They weren’t expensive, as she and her husband lived a very modest life as (by choice) unpaid ministers.
They did work here and there, as needed, to provide for necessities, and a lot of generous people in their lives helped support them. Coincidentally, my wife Lorie’s grandparents were two of the most generous. They gave them a place to put the little trailer they lived in and a garden area for them to grow their own food.
So, although Aunt Marion’s gifts weren’t expensive, they were always thoughtful. They were things that you could learn with or things that she had observed that we were interested in. Many times, they were homemade, like my great uncle Cotton’s pecan divinities. And let me tell you, one bite of that and you knew there was a creator (a divinity) even if you didn’t before, because they were like a drop of heaven to this sweet tooth. At other times, they were often things related to activities that we could enjoy with our siblings and cousins.
She didn’t just give us things. She mostly gave us her time. She got down on the floor and played with us. She taught us fun
lessons while we thought we were just playing. It is the rare adult who can do that, and she was genius at it. Like in “The Sound of Music,” we sang the Do-Re-Me song until we could sing the scales forward and backward and I still can today, although I am admittedly pitchy when I do it.
I owe her much and not just from when I was a child, since she hadd a huge role in getting Lorie and me together. She played matchmaker and it worked perfectly. At least from my point of view. I was very happy that she got to see and hold our first child, Kate, before she passed away, but although she lived past the birth of our second child, she did not get to see or hold her since she died shortly thereafter.
Now that you know about Great Aunt Marion, you know how much of a compliment I’m paying to our son, John. This past week, he wrote some software for the tablet he bought for Freyja. The software locks the tablet down to let her select only her six or seven favorite movies or play a few games that he wrote especially for her. It even locks the volume at our preset choice. If we are in a public setting where we don’t want to disturb others but we need the tablet to calm her down or distract her, we can do it with confidence there won’t be a loud sound that turns all heads toward us.
To be fair to Kate, she is a fun aunt herself, but she is also the aunt who is their main caregiver. She has been acting as the grandchildren’s mother for over two years now, and kids simply won’t let you be the main disciplinarian and the fun aunt or uncle. It is a binary choice. She is the steady, everyday presence in their lives who takes care of doctor visits, prescription refills, homework, feeding them most meals, clothes shopping, diaper changing, and more. She gets some help with a lot of these things, but she is by far the main one, in addition to her full-time job.
John and Kate, each in their own way, have been very giving to the children. Many times, the gifts John gives are Dollar Tree items, but he is thoughtful about it and the kids enjoy them because
Please see SPECIAL FORCES page 7
GREG LEOPARD PC
ATTORNEY AT LAW
Who is this?
Not everyone in healthcare can be Florence Nightingale, right? Despite the long-running series on page 4, there are clunkers in medicine, and we will examine some of them in this series. Unfortunately, there’s enough material to keep this side of the page going for a while.
You’ve heard of Orville Wright? Well, this man was Orville Wrong. How wrong? When he was not working at Vermillion County Hospital (VCH) in Clinton, Indiana, records showed there was an average of one death every 551 hours. Put another way, that’s about one death every 23 days. When this man, Orville Majors, was working, the hospital averaged one death every 23 hours
One case involved 79-year-old Margaret Hornick, who was in the hospital with a fractured hip. Her brother Dom and his wife Dorothy went to the hospital to visit Margaret, and were impressed by how well she was doing. “She wasn’t on an IV or anything,” Dom later told reporters. She was being cared for by Orville Majors. He told the couple everything was going well, and they should go home and get some rest. It literally took them five minutes to drive home, and when they walked in the front door the phone was ringing. It was the hospital calling to inform them that Margaret was dead.
Majors was brazen enough that he didn’t commit his crimes in a concealed manner. In another case, two sisters were visiting their 80-year-old mother in the hospital. They watched Majors give her an injection, kiss her on the forehead, and say “It’s going to be okay, Punkin’,” they related. “And then she just died.”
That year, 1994, saw more than 100 deaths in Vermillion County Hospital, with all of 56 beds and a 4-bed ICU. By comparison, there were 31 the previous year. The 1994 death rate translated to nearly one-third of the patients admitted to VCH.
A spike that steep couldn’t go unnoticed for long, and sure enough, once it was (in 1995), someone checked and discovered that of the last 147 deaths at the hospital, Majors was on the clock for 130 of them. In short order, Majors was suspended from his job and then fired.
A two-year investigation led to Majors arrest in 1997. Investigators believe Majors killed between 100 and 130 patients, but selected seven to present to a jury at his 1999 trial. Conviction on those alone would guarantee that Majors would spend the rest of his life in prison.
Prosecutors presented 79 witnesses, some of whom testified that they had heard Majors say he hated elderly people, that “they should be gassed,” and specifically brag about murdering patients. Investigators found vials of potassium chloride in his home and vehicle, a drug that can be used to help regulate heart rate, but which is lethal at high doses. Several victims were exhumed and determined to have died by such injections. Evidence showed that patients at the hospital were 42 times more likely to die when Majors was on duty.
The jury deadlocked on one of the cases, but the others resulted in a sentence of six consecutive terms of 60 years each. The judge said “the maximum sentence is the minimum sentence in this case.” Majors died of heart failure in prison in 2017 at age 56, protesting his innocence until his dying day.
+
less leisure time and greater fatigue.
People have responded by cutting reading for pleasure to historic lows, limiting most of what they read to strictly practical matters, such as news, technical reading for work, or studying for school.
Why it matters
There is abundant evidence that reading for pleasure is a salubrious activity. It helps reduce stress, and some research suggests it helps prevent cognitive decline.
There’s a reason that “bedtime stories” is a thing dating back to childhood: reading can promote better sleep. It was your parents’ best friend and it can be yours too (not that you need children to read at bedtime). Assuming the reading material isn’t violent or horrifying, it provides a relaxing wind-down to the day and ushers in a good night’s sleep. Good sleep provides many health benefits.
Reading sparks creativity and imagination, which could mean that not reading work-related material in your spare time could actually help you do your job better.
At the risk of stating the obvious, reading can also be educational, offering a fascinating and enlightening look into an infinite number of topics. If that includes other lands and peoples and their way of life (even if the book is fiction), the experience can foster understanding and empathy across cultures, and that
seems to be sorely needed these days. Saying “if the book is fiction” is a reminder that reading for pleasure doesn’t have to mean that it has to be some pie-in-the-sky fictional fairy tale; it could be a magazine article about the history of ice cream or jazz, a book about the Alps, woodworking, Eskimos, the biography of a medieval king, or any of a million other subjects. (Then again, maybe you would
Send a picture of you and one of your favorite books to the Examiner (email address on p. 3) to be entered in a random drawing for one of four $25 gift cards from:
978 Broad Street • Augusta GA 30901 (706) 826-1940
enjoy that pie-in-the-sky fictional fairy tale.)
How to fix the problem
As the previous few sentences suggest, one key to reading more often for pleasure is to find and choose topics that interest you. Make it enjoyable; don’t force it. Find authors and subjects you enjoy.
Don’t be intimidated by what’s hot and what’s not. If you find that you enjoy steamy romance novels more than high brow lit, go with what you enjoy.
People who say they don’t enjoy extracurricular read ing or don’t have the time to “waste” on such unproductive pursuits have often discovered that a few short pages of something just for the pure pleasure of reading every day soon has them hooked. Try it. You might like it too.
Remember the vital importance of early reading for children, as well as the significance of the bond it creates between parent and child. Establish a daily ritual of reading, be it after school, at nap-time, or at bedtime. Literacy built from youth up will pay lifelong dividends in the family and the workplace and in the overall quality of children’s entire lives. And it establishes a tradition from you that your children can (and probably will) pass along to their children.
Finally, one other way to encourage more reading is found in the box to the left. Read it!
S I C K O F W A I T I N G ? S I C K O F W A I T I N G ?
MULTIPLE
SPECIAL FORCES
from page 5
of that thoughtfulness. The inexpensive aspect of it allows him to do it more often too.
That said, he does sometimes spend a lot on them. New laptops have been purchased by him for the older children on multiple times. John and Kate both have put their money together and taken the children to Disney World or Six Flags multiple times.
In short, John and Kate have really helped carry this burden for us. We couldn’t do this without them.
I have one more detail to share about the tablet and software John created for Freyja. He did a good bit of reading about the psychology of special needs children, especially Freyja’s specific condition and it seems to have worked. She would never put the tablet down if we didn’t control the time with it. She plays the games and squeals with delight at times. It makes short and long car trips easier for us. We’ve talked about more applications that he could write to provide some additional variety, and I too am looking into learning the programming language he is using to write some myself. Maybe this could turn into something that could help other children like Freyja and that’s the best we could hope for.
In the end, I guess I am saying that we all should aspire to be a Great-Aunt Marion, whether it is for our actual nieces and nephews or those of our friends or even strangers. Choose to be a positive force in the lives of all children, especially ones who have a harder climb than others. You’ll be helping the children, the parents, and society as a whole.
THE SAD SAGA OF RED
Red’s family broke apart when he was 12. This was back in the late 40s. Welfare Department picked up his six brothers and sisters. Red ran helter skelter into the woods. Welfare workers did not pursue him, saying he was too old to go into the children’s home anyway. His father and mother were in absentia, so Red was just another throwaway kid nobody wanted.
Within a couple weeks, Red managed to find relatives in Atlanta who let him stay a couple of weeks. After that he had to leave. Times were hard. Not enough food for another mouth.
Then he located his biological father in Detroit where he had gone to work when there were no jobs in the north Georgia mountains. How a 12-year-old kid managed to get there alone and without money is still a mystery.
His father had a new family there. Red was a semi-un-
BASED ON A TRUE STORY
(most of the time)
A series by Bad Billy Laveau
welcome guest. He was not put in school. For a couple years Red rode around town on his bicycle doing nothing. Finally, other boys met him and guided him into school.
He was too far behind to catch up on math. A coach put him in swimming. His exercise tolerance kept him out of competitive swimming, so he took up diving. Athleticism and coordination paid off. He won events. High school years slipped away.
The University of Michigan gave him a diving scholarship. But lack of math skills limited him, and he was dismissed. Then the University of Florida worked around
his math deficiency. He won championships, with barely a ripple marking his graceful dives as he sliced into the water.
Along came the Olympics. He was good enough, but it came to light that he had earned pocket money doing trick and comedy dives. He wasn’t an amateur athlete. The Olympics kicked him out.
He landed in an Arizona country club with members like Dizzy Dean and Barry Goldwater. He excelled. Everyone loved him. His management skills grew. His smile sliced through problems like a laser through butter. Not bad for a throwaway mountain kid.
Another skill surfaced. It took years, but he rebuilt a Corvette into like-new condition. He retired to the north Georgia hills, a long way from that runaway 12-yearold with no money, no family, and no prospects. He never
figured out why his mother deserved the kids after his father left for Detroit.
He was inducted into the University of Florida Athletic Hall of Fame.
Then one stark night, Red rolled his Corvette into a garage not unlike the one in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off He turned off the engine. Applied emergency brakes.
Leaned his head back. Images of his childhood floated through his mind.
Life ain’t fair.)
His heart stopped. Forever. Atrial fibrillation, the coroner said.
That was before our modern technology of electronic defibrillation and cardiac ablation for treatment of A-fib.
We finally knew why he could not swim competitive race laps in college and ended up in diving, where he excelled. He missed the Olympics because of a few dollars he needed to survive. (Now athletes are paid huge sums.
We must stand in awe of Red. He overcame monstrous odds just to survive, let alone become world class in diving in spite of an ineffective, fibrillating heart. He refused to become a street person, to go the way of alcohol and drugs or petty crime as a way of life. No, he was a man, a real man. The kind we need more of.
Had he been born today, his A-fib could have been better managed. He might have lived longer. Gold Olympic metals surely would have gleamed on his chest.
But be a better man? Is that possible? In my book, he sits on the summit of Mount Olympus, and mere mortals liker me cower at his accomplishments.
Don’t tell me about limitations. Tell me about accomplishments. Few can measure up to Red’s standards.
But we can try.
JUST OPEN YOUR EYES!
by Ken Wilson Steppingstones to Recovery
A few weeks ago I was doing some work outside my daughter’s hair salon on a ladder when I noticed a lady anxiously walking back and forth on the sidewalk looking up while I was looking down at her. I finally asked “Can I help you?” She replied, “I’m looking for #1432.” I chuckled to myself and pointed to the large numbers on the front of the building just a few feet in front of her spelling out “1432” which were level with her eyesight!
We both got a good laugh out of it! Her, while admitting she never thought to look anywhere but way up!
Such is life. This predicament isn’t isolated to the elderly. More than once I’ve looked for my sunglasses that were perched high on my head! I hear you laughing now! Methinks I have good company! Same with keys already in my pocket!
For alcoholics and addicts it takes a somewhat similar form when it comes to their ruminations about getting clean and sober. I can think of several ways that the open-eyed alcoholic manifests thoughts of sobriety.
First, they are willing. They may not be running straight ahead with gusto, but they’re willing to give it a try. None of them actually thinks of permanently stopping. Instead the thought is, “Someday I’ll drink again but next time I’m not going to let it get out of control.”
But most who begin the journey eventually feel so much better when the thought of drinking again is outa sight, outa mind. The ones I talk to who are still on the fence about sobriety (but who are willing nonetheless) are the ones I make a contract with, saying “Try sobriety for 90 days…if you don’t like it, come back to see me and I’ll refund your
misery.” Willingness.
Second, they learn to think forward – playing their “tape” (remember those?) all the way to the end and seeing the inevitable outcome if they don’t stop their self-destructive behavior.
Drinking hasn’t been an issue for me lately, but eating too much has. I was feeling so bad.
Groaning. Grunting to do simple physical tasks. And not because I’m 73 years old either. I finally sought help. I was not able to get eating under control by myself, so I joined the WW program, and though it took almost 10 months, I recently logged a little over my initial goal, losing 51.8 pounds! I feel so much better! I’m not planning on going back for a refund on my misery.
Third, they talk to others about it. Seeing others who used to be in their dilemma but who have successfully kicked the habit is a superlative action. It is why I joined the WW program: hearing a friend who didn’t even know I was listening talk about his success with the program and lost a similar amount of baggage. I thought, “If he can do it, I can do it.” Thank you, John W, for introducing me to a program that helped me lose pounds without ever being hungry! His contentment spoke volumes to me and he didn’t have to push it. I saw a bumper sticker not long ago that said “I’m not an alcoholic – I’m a drunk. Alcoholics go to meetings!” And so they do. That’s the talking-to-others part of it. Having eyes open to learning something new. Not looking far into the future but looking into the present day right in front of their eyes. I daresay I never went to a WW meeting without hearing at least one hint that someone tried that worked. I figured, “If it worked for them, it’ll work for me.”
The solution is open eyes.
three Mississippi” and enter the intersection before you reach “four Mississippi,” you’re good to go. Anything past that timeframe, the light becomes a stale red and you should probably at least consider stopping. Another proven strategy of bad drivers is to drive in the left lane no matter what There are signs aplenty that say “Keep Right Except to Pass,” but those are for the little people, the sheep. Ordinary bad drivers, on the interstate particularly, never leave the left lane. Well, not until they reach their exit. Then they’ll cut across two or three or eight lanes, whatever it takes, to hit their off ramp. They may justify their left lane monopoly by driving well above the speed limit. Again, that’s bad, but it’s amateur bad. Anybody can do that, and many do.
A truly bad driver will not simply drive
LIMEBO
was happy. I would visit LizAnne and Gordon from time to time and always spoke to Limebo. I never saw another lime though –maybe he was just a poor producer.
They kept him for a long time – years — but then they told me that they were moving to Colorado and Limebo could not go. What to do? He was in a huge pot and almost tree size. After some conversations, we decided that if Gordon could get him to my house, I would keep him over the summer on my patio and decide what to do.
After a few days, I came home from a shopping trip and there was Limebo looking in the back window. Hello! We waved. Thank
in the left lane. He will putter in the left lane, driving the speed limit at most, but preferably, below it. What is especially gratifying to see — and even more so, to do — is to drive along in the right lane until you see a vehicle in your rearview mirror approaching in the left lane. At the last possible moment, slowly drift into the left lane. Stay there. If the other driver tailgates or honks — or both — the prudent reaction is to slow down, for safety’s sake. If it annoys the other driver, that’s a small price to pay for safety. And just so we’re clear, you aren’t driving down Washington Road in the left lane to deliberately block traffic. You’re not that petty. You’re doing it because you need to turn left just ahead. 4.2 miles ahead to be specific.
Well, we have only scratched the surface. More handy tips next time!
from page 3 +
you Gordon!
However, here was my dilemma again: what to do before winter comes? I thought about my friend, Betsy, who had a large Meyer lemon tree in her backyard. Maybe Limebo really could live outside. Lemons are tropical plants too.
So, plans were made and Betsy agreed to adopt Limebo. I secured a yardand- tree man with a pickup truck and we drove Limebo to Betsy’s house. We found what we thought was a good spot, removed him from that large container and planted him in Betsy’s back garden. Whew!
Betsy is a great gardener and I knew that she would take care of him. I visited often to say hello and judge
his progress in his new home. However, he never seemed to flourish as a yearround outdoor tree.
He hung on for quite a while, but the hard freeze last winter was more than he could take. We kept looking for any sign of green this spring. The Meyer lemon survived, but not Limebo. A visit earlier this summer confirmed that he had no life left. Now, I have gathered his few remaining dried twigs and brought them home. I cannot believe that I am crying over a lime tree, but I am.
Thank you, Limebo, for all that you were to so many people and for all my wonderful friends that helped me care for him.
Rest in peace, Limebo.
TRYTHISDISH
by Kim Beavers, MS, RDN, CDCES
Registered Dietitian Nutritionist,
Chef Coach, Author
Follow Kim on Facebook: facebook.com/eatingwellwithkimb
SOUTHWEST SHEET PAN EGGS
Breakfast on the go or at least with less hassle is a winner especially on busy work days. By far, my favorite way of seasoning eggs is Mexican-style so this recipe combines quick with Mexiflavor eggs. I wanted to keep the ingredient list short but you could add in a little chopped red bell pepper for color and nutrients if you have some hanging around.
Ingredients
6 eggs
2 tablespoon chopped onion
1 clove garlic, minced (or ¼ teaspoon garlic powder)
¼ teaspoon cumin
¼ teaspoon chili powder
¼ teaspoon salt
¼ teaspoon pepper
1 cup black beans
1 cup spinach
6 tablespoons salsa
Directions
Preheat the oven to 300°.
Spray a 1/4 sheet pan (8 by 12-inch) with vegetable oil cooking spray or line with parchment paper and set aside (parchment is the best choice for easy clean up). A larger sheet pan will work but the eggs will be much thinner and will cook super quick.
(Note: This recipe can easily be doubled.)
Crack the eggs into a bowl with onion, garlic and spices (salt, pepper, cumin, chili powder). Whisk together until blended. Add in the black beans and spinach and gently combine.
Pour the mixture onto the prepared pan and bake until the eggs are set (15-20 minutes).
Cut into a square and serve with tortillas, on top of ½ an English muffin, in a taco etc. and salsa.
Yield: 6 Servings
Nutrition Breakdown: Calo-
ries 100, Fat 5g (1.5g saturated fat), Cholesterol 225mg, Sodium 350mg, Carbohydrate 8g, Fiber 2g, Protein 9g.
Percent Daily Value: 10% Vitamin A, 6% Vitamin C, 8% Iron, 4% Calcium Diabetes Exchanges: ½ Vegetable, ½ Starch, 1 Medium Fat Meat
∙Alternatively, these can be made in muffin tins. Instead of a pan simply line muffin tins with parchment muffin liners (parchment works the best in my opinion). Raise the oven temperature to 350 degrees, cook for the same amount of time.
So you like the new kinder, gentler IRS?
They called me up today about my back taxes — which I can finally pay.
ACROSS
1. Woman who challenged Augusta National male-only membership
5. Not Tesla fuel
8. Georgia county named for the 11th US president
12. Soothing plant
13. One of the Marx brothers
15. Canal name
16. CSRA winter rarity
17. Extraterrestrial
18. Record
19. Hindered
21. Among
23. Partridge follower
24. Quick!!!
25. Withdraw
28. Former riverfront restaurant in Augusta
32. “Obamacare” acronym
33. al-Qaeda founder
36. Tag
37. Left at sea
39. Word that follows silver and black
41. Basketballer Rebecca
42. Pertaining to the ileum
44. Perfect
46. Permit
47. Talk about
49. GMA anchor fired by ABC for a co-anchor affair
51. Large wading bird
52. By way of
53. Disheveled
56. Blood _______
61. Legal group
62. Nostrils
64. Table at Sonic?
65. Silkwood star
66. Modify
67. Troll; monster
They called you?
They were so helpful. I told them I would mail a check today, but they said they can take payment in Walmart gift cards now.
Tell me you did not drive to Walmart.
by Dan Pearson
They saved me the trip! All I had to do was give them my credit card number. They made it so convenient!
THE MYSTERY WORD
The Mystery Word for this issue: SETRRIEA
Simply unscramble the letters, then begin exploring our ads When you find the correctly spelled word HIDDEN in one of our ads — enter at AugustaRx.com
We’ll announce the winner in our next issue!
A M I N E R S U D O K U
DIRECTIONS: Every line, vertical and horizontal, and all nine 9-square boxes must each contain the numbers 1 though 9. Solution on page 14.
68. Sharp
69. Put down
70. Requirement DOWN
1. Wallop
2. Forearm bone
3. Chamber
4. Doll with a topknot
5. Crossword puzzles are made on one
6. Big monkey
7. Beethoven composed a famous one
8. Minor epileptic attack
9. Toward the mouth (in med)
10. They can be cyanotic
11. Baby guinea fowl
13. Type of racing in Aiken
14. Malt beverage
20. Prefix meaning “within”
22. Augusta ______
24. Flood; rash; flurry; cluster
25. Tachy (in cardiology)
26. Intestinal bacteria
27. Worries; concerns
29. African plague
30. Medieval fiddle
31. Laziness
34. Wrong; awry
35. It can precede day or night
38. Uncommunicative
40. Gather in
43. Westernmost island of the West Indies
45. Clark’s girlfriend
48. Corps at Ft. Gordon
50. Road from Washington Rd. to Furys Ferry
53. ____-and-pinion
54. Continuous dull pain
55. Type of club
56. Talk to God
57. Sen. colleague
58. Exhort
59. Uncommon
60. Blue-____
63. Dental org.
QUOTATIONPUZZLE
DIRECTIONS: Recreate a timeless nugget of wisdom by using the letters in each vertical column to fill the boxes above them. Once any letter is used, cross it out in the lower half of the puzzle. Letters may be used only once. Black squares indicate spaces between words, and words may extend onto a second line.
Solution on page 14.
the puzzle above. All the listed letters following #1 are the first letters of the various words; the letters following #2 are the second letters of each word, and so on. Try solving words with letter clues or numbers with minimal choices listed. A sample is shown. Solution on page 14.
THEBESTMEDICINE
ha... ha...
Ahusband and wife were having a fight.
The wife had been giving her husband the silent treatment all day. Trying to talk to her was pointless, so that night at bedtime, the husband wrote on a piece of paper, “Wake me up at 6 am. I have an early flight.”
The next morning he woke up at 9 o’clock. Furious, he noticed a piece of paper on the bedside table. It said, “Wake up. It’s 6 am.”
A reporter asked a billionaire how he earned his wealth.
“A long time ago,” said the billionaire, “I only had one penny to my name. So I took that penny and bought a pencil from the corner store. I sold it to a classmate for two cents. I took that money and bought two pencils, sold them for four cents. Two pencils became four, four became eight, then sixteen, then thirty-two... until I had $20.48. On that very day my father had a massive heart attack and left me $47 billion.”
Moe: What do dentists call X-rays?
Joe: Tooth pix.
Moe: I can’t tell ravens and crows apart. Joe: Actually, crows have 12 pinion feathers, while ravens have 13.
Moe: So the difference is just a matter of a pinion?
Moe: My wife gave me a sealed envelope marked “Not to be opened until 2026.”
Joe: Wonder what was in it?
Moe: A list of reasons why I can’t be trusted to follow simple directions.
Moe: What does an Aiken horse farm call its smartest trainer?
Joe: A stable genius.
Moe: Oh wow! Taylor and Travis are engaged! It’s the story of the year!
Joe: Uh oh. You haven’t heard?
Moe: Heard what?
Joe: The whole thing was called off. Video review showed that Kelce’s knee never actually touched the ground.
Moe: Why can’t T-Rexes clap their hands?
Joe: Because they’re extinct.
Moe: I was just reading that the Flat Earth Society has more than a million members.
Joe: Just in the US?
Moe: No, all around the world.
Moe: What do you call a hoarder who tries to declutter but just can’t?
Joe: A would-chuck.
Staring at my phone all day has certainly had no Effect on ME!
By popular demand we’re making at-cost subscriptions available for the convenience of our readers. If you live beyond the Aiken-Augusta area, or miss issues between doctor’s appointments — don’t you hate it when that happens? — we’ll command your mail carrier to bring every issue to your house!
NAME ADDRESS
CITY STATE ZIP
Choose six months for $26 or one year for $48 . Mail this completed form with payment to Augusta Medical Examiner, PO Box 397, Augusta GA
Dear Advice Doctor,
My next door neighbor’s yard is an eyesore like you wouldn’t believe. It’s an absolute disgrace. What makes it even worse is when they misplace something in what looks like a professional junkyard, they accuse my family of stealing it. Then when they find whatever it is, they accuse us of sneaking over to put it back. What a load of baloney, and I have to put up with this at least once a week. What do you think I should I do?
— Junkyard Adjacent
Dear Junkyard,
Thank you for bringing your issue to this forum where many people can read the answer.
I believe you have raised a question that a number of people wonder about from time to time: What about baloney? After all, it’s a very common sandwich meat. But is it healthy?
Well, one might say there’s baloney, and then there’s bologna. They could be one and the same in some cases, but to a native of Bologna, Italy (which is most definitely not pronounced baloney), there is virtually nothing in common between his cured sausage bologna and the rosy pink sliced circles of baloney sold by guys like Oscar Mayer — even though both meats may be pronounced the same.
The problem with lunch meats in general could fill this entire page. They are often high in sodium, a risk factor for high blood pressure, stroke, and heart disease. Some lunch meats are great sources of saturated fat, which means they are bad sources of saturated fat, a contributor to clogged arteries, high cholesterol and heart disease. Many processed meats also have sodium phosphate and/or sodium nitrite added as preservatives. These have been linked to cancer. No wonder the World Health Organization classified processed meats as a class 1 carcinogen back in 2015, meaning there is evidence that these kinds of meat can contribute to cancer.
But there are ways to mitigate the risk. Be a label reader, and look for lunch meats that are low in the bad stuff, and which don’t have the offending preservatives. The word “uncured” on packaging is good, since curing meats often involves more salt or more preservatives like sodium phosphate and sodium nitrite.
Finally, one of the best ways to enjoy baloney (and bologna) guilt-free is that all-important word: moderation. Having a baloney sandwich once in a while? No harm, no foul.
Thanks again for writing. I hope I answered your question. Do you have a question for The Advice Doctor about life, love, personal relationships, career, raising children, or any other important topic? Send it to News@AugustaRx.com. Replies will be provided only in the Examiner.
THE MYSTERY SOLVED
The Celebrated MYSTERY WORD CONTEST
...wherein we hide (with fiendish cleverness) a simple word. All you have to do is unscramble the word (found on page 12), then find it concealed within one of our ads. Click in to the contest link at www.AugustaRx.com and enter. If we pick you in our random drawing of correct entries, you’ll score our goodie package!
SEVEN SIMPLE RULES: 1. Unscramble and find the designated word hidden within one of the ads in this issue. 2. Visit the Reader Contests page at www.AugustaRx.com. 3. Tell us what you found and where you found it. 4. If you’re right and you’re the one we pick at random, you win. (Winners within the past six months are ineligible.) 5. Prizes awarded to winners may vary from issue to issue. Limited sizes are available for shirt prize. 6. A photo ID may be required to claim some prizes. 7. Other entrants may win a lesser prize at the sole discretion of the publisher. 8. Deadline to enter is shown on page 12.
PROFESSIONAL DIRECTORY
ACUPUNCTURE
Dr. Eric Sherrell, DACM, LAC
Augusta Acupuncture Clinic 4141 Columbia Road
706-888-0707 www.AcuClinicGA.com
CHIROPRACTIC
DERMATOLOGY
Dermatology &
Parks Pharmacy 437 Georgia Ave. N. Augusta 29841 803-279-7450 www.parkspharmacy.com
Evans Chiropractic Health Center Dr. William M. Rice 108 SRP Drive, Suite A 706-860-4001 www.evanschiro.net
Karen L. Carter, MD 1303 D’Antignac St, Suite 2100 Augusta 30901 706-396-0600 www.augustadevelopmentalspecialists.com
Nursing|Companion 706-426-5967 www.zenahomecare.com
Bashir Chaudhary,
Jason H. Lee, DMD 116 Davis Road Augusta 30907 706-860-4048 Floss ‘em or lose ‘em!
ALPHABET SOUP AT THE DOCTOR’S OFFICE
by Lucy Dianne Sharp
I can still remember the days when you needed to see a doctor, and you had one. You knew he was a doctor because in the office was a plaque with his name and the initials M.D. That one doctor was a magician. The doctor could diagnose, treat, prescribe and sometimes do surgery to take care of whatever was wrong with you.
The nurse took your temperature, blood pressure, pulse, etc., asked you how you were, how your family was, what was wrong, and at some point the doctor joined the conversation. You were treated and sent on your merry way, a better person for having made the decision to visit the doctor’s office.
Today, we have what I call alphabet soup when you visit a medical professional. I’ll start with the doctor we usually consider our primary physician. Recently, my primary physician, an M.D., retired. I was given a new primary physician who had the initials D.O. after her name. I decided I needed to know the difference between an M.D. and a D.O.
According to Google, a medical doctor or M.D. is “a healthcare professional who is trained and licensed to diagnose and treat patients with physical, mental, and emotional conditions. Medical doctors can be primary care physicians, specialists, or surgeons.” A medical doctor graduates from a traditional medical school.
According to Google, a D.O. is defined as a doctor of osteopathic medicine. They graduate from an Osteopathic Medical School. They have the same training and are still what we consider a medical doctor, but they by definition take a more holistic approach, considering the patient’s overall well-being and lifestyle.
Another medical professional you may come in contact with is a PA or physician’s assistant. A PA must complete an accredited program which requires a bachelor’s degree, prior healthcare experience and a master’s degree. It can take 7-8 years of training. They can examine, diagnose and treat patients under the supervision of a medical doctor.
Another part of the alphabet soup are NPs or Nurse Practitioners. An NP completes a 4 year nursing degree, must have previous clinical experience, and completes a specific program for nurse practitioners. It can take a total of 6 to 8 years of training. They too can examine, diagnose and treat patients under the supervision of a medical doctor.
The person who checks you in, takes your blood pressure, temperature, weight, and your medical history is usually a Certified Medical Assistant or CMA. Their training includes specific medical skills and office tasks. This training can be done online or at a technical college. It is possible to become a medical assistant with no certifications or experience, but most employers prefer certified medical assistants. Their training can be as brief as 4 months or as long as 2 years.
An RN is a Registered Nurse with a 2- to 4-year college degree. An LPN is a Licensed Practical Nurse and has completed an accredited practical nursing program at a community or technical school. Both take accreditation tests and obtain a license to practice. For the most part, RNs and LPNs have disappeared from doctor office positions. You will find them largely in hospitals or specialty positions.
CMAs, LPNs and RNs all play vital roles in healthcare, but they differ significantly in their responsibilities, education and career paths. Licensing requirements and credentialing bodies are also different, as well as individual state requirements. They are all responsible for helping patients reach their optimal level of health, and keeping them safe in the healthcare environment.
