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WHATEVER YOUR STYLE IS
WHO TOOK MY BEER? by Ken Wilson Steppingstones to Recovery
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Ohio Ave.
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Medical Complex Wrightsboro Road
Daniel Field
Augusta Mall
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AT PARKS, EVERY MONTH IS HEART HEALTH MONTH.
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437 Georgia Avenue, North Augusta, SC
803-279-7450 parkspharmacy.com
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FEBRUARY 19, 2021
Credit for my borrowed title goes to Spencer Johnson who wrote a book more than 20 years ago titled Who Moved My Cheese? in which he provided ways of thinking to change our fear of change. It seems we do fear it since often we’re not in control of how it comes to us. Prior to the book, in the late 70s, a behavioral model called “The Stages of Change” was formulated to study smokers who quit on their own and compared them with those who needed outside help to stop smoking. And for what it’s worth, it seems that quitting smoking is beaucoup harder than stopping drinking alcohol. The “Stages” model has been used by a multitude of disciplines who have adapted the specifics to other addictive behaviors, in much the same way that other inventors have used Henry Ford’s Model T to make their own version of an automobile. I briefly alluded to this in a prior column, but will explain each stage more fully here. Leaving out the mumbojumbo and technical terms of the study (which are only interesting to us in the behavioral health field), here is the progression: • PRECONTEMPLATION – in this stage people have no intention of taking action about something they’re doing because they don’t see
their actions as problematic. I hear all the time, “It’s my body – I’ll do with it what I want” and “I’m only hurting myself and nobody else.” In this stage people don’t see the benefits of change; they only see it as being very hard without seeing the benefit of (within our context here) stopping drinking. They get defensive when somebody asks them to change. Their mind cannot see the problem even though others around them can see it plainly. In the counseling field we call this “denial;” the unconscious mind not being able to see the truth. Interestingly, denial is not a lie; a lie is a conscious act. Nobody can be helped in this stage. Cotton in the ears. In fact, the resistance of an alcoholic/addict in this stage is many times more powerful than any effort to persuade him/her to change. Might as well save your energy. Best thing to do is: say nothing. I know, I know, not what you want to hear. But saying something just makes your loved one more defensive and more deeply entrenched in denial. He/she thinks that you are the problem, not them. (Is anyone out there nodding yes or raising your hand right about now?) The worst way to help someone you love get to the next stage of change is not to beat their head against the wall, or browbeat them, or harass them, raise your voice, or use manipulative
THIS IS YOUR BRAIN A monthly series by an Augusta drug treatment professional
methods. Example: the parents and spouses who call my office to make an appointment for their alcoholic loved one and don’t tell that person the appointment is at a substance abuse treatment center! The worst blowups I’ve ever seen have been a loved one who finally realizes they’ve been conned! I haven’t had to call 911 yet, but have experienced these poor unfortunates yelling loudly as they hastily leave the room, throwing objects at the building on their way out, destroying my outdoor furniture, demanding a refund, and giving a bad online review. One step forward — or so we thought — but two steps back. The poor relative in pain often just doesn’t understand why they can’t pay me to change the mind of their addicted loved one! I think that would be called de-programming and it’s sometimes done when rescuing a teenager from a cultish group! Well, I’ve done it once again. Tried to cover too much imaterial n too small of a space. Guess I’ll have to continue next month with the next stages of change, and hopefully how to help your loved one get there. In the meantime, if you’re a loved one of an alcoholic, please: don’t take their beer. +
Daniel Gregory Leopard pc AT TO RN E Y
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