Digital parenting 29 06 2017

DIGITAL PARENTING

Loughborough Grammar School

By Dr Neelam Parmar Ashford School, United Learning

Table of Contents Foreword .………………………………………………………………………………………… 3 Chapter 1:

Introduction to Digital Parenting .…………………………………….……… 4 The Challenge …………………....…………………………………….....…….. 5

Chapter 2:

What is the right amount of Screen Time? .........……………………….…. 8

Chapter 3:

Life on YouTube ……………………………………………………………….. 14

Chapter 4:

My life is taken over by Minecraft …………………………………..…….… 17 Hints and Tips for Minecraft Parents ...……………………………..….….. 18

Chapter 5:

Social Media ...……………………………………………………………..……. 21

Chapter 6:

Online Safety …...…………………………………………………………..…... 25 Parent/Child Scenarios .………………………………………………….……. 31

Chapter 7:

Educational Technology at Loughborough Grammar School …………. 34 E-Learning Guiding Principles ...…………………………………………….. 36 E-Learning in the LGS Classroom ...………………………………………… 37

Appendix 1: Screen Time Proposal ……...……………………………………………….…. 39 Appendix 2: Internet Acronyms (2016) …………………………………...………………… 41 References …………………………………..………………………………………..………….. 42 Biography …………….………………………………………………………..………………... 45

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Foreword Duncan Byrne, Headmaster Loughborough Grammar School

At Loughborough Grammar School our aim goes beyond merely helping your son to acquire the grades to attend a top university. We must also be preparing him for life in the broadest sense. Part of that preparation is ensuring a thorough grasp of the opportunities that technology offers and that your son is able to assess and handle the inherent risks of the digital age. We want to ensure that, in partnership with parents, our boys are trained to make the best, sensible and safe use of these powerful tools that are fundamental to success in any career in the Twenty-First Century. Digital Technology, at Loughborough Grammar School, is a medium which we use when and if appropriate: it does not of itself improve learning or guarantee improved exam outcomes. However, in the hands of children guided by expert teachers and knowledgeable parents it can, and should, open doors to future achievement.

I am grateful to Dr Parmar and to the Headmaster of Ashford School, Mr Mike Buchanan, in making this guide available to other HMC Schools.

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Chapter 1: Introduction to Digital Parenting Bringing up children has never been easy. Bringing them up in the age of smart phones and tablets is even more challenging. As new and more advanced technologies are filtering into everyday lifestyles, it is becoming even harder to make decisions about software, hardware, apps and whether using social media sites is appropriate in support of our children’s social interactions. There have been so many changes and inventions with some of the newer forms of technologies that some parents are finding it tough to keep up with the new generation of ‘digital natives’ (A term often used by Mark Prensky to describe the generation of people born during or after the rise of digital technologies).

It would seem that children are being introduced to digital devices at an ever-earlier age.

Successful brands such as Amazon have created tablets for pre-school aged children and many parents are tempted to buy their children their own tablets before they have even entered pre-school. All this before they are faced with the current popularity of Minecraft, Moshi Monsters, YouTube and Club Penguin in the primary years. Then comes the craze of sending texts, images and videos to each other, which highlights a new dimension of being safe online. And, just when you think you have mastered that, the teenage years come along bringing with them the onslaught of social media sites such as Facebook, Instagram and Snapchat which parents may well be familiar with, and others such as Yik Yak, ooVoo and Kik which they might not be.

As a parent, you receive dire warnings about of all kinds of problematic issues ranging from sexting to cyberbullying, identity theft and simply the negative effects of too much screen time. As though this is not enough, you are then left on your own, after having been advised what to do, back to what you have just learned and what you have yet to learn and discover. There is so much information to process that you cannot distinguish between what is truly important and what is not. This is just so baffling to some parents that they are tempted to remain oblivious of the online world and simply hope for the best. Or, with equally significant risks, withdraw online access entirely from their child.

As a parent and a digital professional I understand and sympathise with this feeling of being overwhelmed by so much information and the desire to return to the days we grew up in where digital devices and the Internet just did not exist. But that is not an option for most of us. While there is no such thing as perfection, the aim of this book is to give parents good enough information to get them started in the right direction in dealing with the technological challenges their children face. This book has therefore been written for fellow mums and dads to help you successfully steer a path between the two extremes. It provides some direction for those who want to find out more about what it means to become a digital parent and aims to offer solid, practical advice and increase your awareness of and interest in the types of online activities that our children are experiencing and discovering online.

The Challenge Findings in a 2010 survey of 2,017 individuals, conducted by online security software maker McAfee, show that two out of three parents are ignorant of their children’s Internet activities.

In part, this is because children are very good at hiding what they are doing. For example, more than 50 percent (McAfee 2012) of all children routinely erase their Internet search histories. So when children get into trouble online, despite all that parents have done to 4 Digital Parenting

keep them safe, it is often difficult to understand. The challenge is that you want your children to explore and enjoy the best from the Internet yet, when children face harm, it is a big setback and parents are often left blaming themselves because of their gap of knowledge in this field.

The reality is that while technology has advanced quickly, digital parenting skills have not always kept pace. It may not be our fault, but it is definitely a problem. Despite the ubiquity of social media in our lives, it is important to remember that a mere 15 years ago, there was no Facebook, Google, Snapchat, etc. and so it is unsurprising that our parenting skills have not kept pace with the rapid growth of these technologies. While it is easy to blame it on the technology and call it cyberbullying or sexting, these are actually parenting problems.

Although some of us are less likely to admit it, effective parenting has changed drastically over the past 20 years. Gone are the days where there was no surfing on the Internet, checking email or returning text messages while nursing a baby or having family time in the living room. Instead of waking up early to watch Saturday morning cartoons or rush home after school to catch the afternoon programmes, there are now podcasts and a neverending parade of children’s programmes available at all times of the day or pre-recorded on YouTube. About 20 years ago, the most common way people communicated at home was to go and speak to them. Our parents did not text us to come downstairs when it was time for dinner or email a list of to-do thoughts that came to mind. Generally, families communicated with each other face to face (or on the phone) because there was no other way to do it. Amazon Prime and supermarket deliveries are now our new best friends with online shopping and using the smartphone to keep up to date with news and the like is considered the norm. While in the past many parents would speak to each other to discuss parenting styles, we now rely more on the plethora of information available in parenting sites and blogs.

While this is not a bad thing, it has shifted the more traditional parenting approaches to a relatively new parenting style. A lot of this shift is reflective of changes in our culture in which some parents now frequently communicate with their children and other parents in non-face-to-face ways (Facebook, texting, etc.). This has now become normalised within our way of living. Our lifestyles are also increasingly ‘on demand’, from how we access media to how we order shopping (e.g. Amazon Dash). With life becoming busier than ever, “quality time” between parents and children has become premium, thereby introducing the role of parent as participant in co-learning with children; in which co-learning is particularly relevant with respect to digital media that is natural to both the digital native child and the parent. While these cultural shifts are moving along at a phenomenal rate, our parenting skills and approaches also need to reflect these new lifestyle changes, or at least consider how to ameliorate the possible negatives that they can and have already brought.

We all want to be good parents and raise our children as well as we can. We want to shelter them, keep them safe from harm and prepare them for the world in which they are growing up, learning to tackle difficult situations and manage time to learn new skills. The Internet is part of their world, not a recent new invention as it for some of us, or a worrying development for anyone younger than 20 years old. Our children are surrounded by technology as a normal part of their everyday life. They are able to switch between devices, applications and social media throughout the day, without even realising what they are doing. For many of them, digital life is just life.

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In today’s day and age, the digital divide between many parents and children has grown so wide that it presents an entirely new problem: in order to get children to have an open dialogue with their carers, they need to trust that you know and understand the challenges of their modern childhood. As technology is integrated into our everyday lifestyles, we need to find a way to combine digital parenting with the parenting we experienced. Digital life requires the same kind of parenting as life in general where, as children’s guardians, we have to know what they are doing online, listen to their social networking worries, take pride in their virtual lives, set boundaries and agree on rules. Digital parenting is still very much in its infancy and not a smooth sailing journey but, as our children are more open to new technologies, trends and alternative ways of collaborating with their friends, it becomes our responsibility to keep up with them.

It sounds simple but the number one indicator of good digital parenting is to keep an open dialogue with your child and discuss that which is important to them. This conversation is not about the birds and the bees (although it would be wise to think about introducing this one early too, given the ubiquity of sexual/ romantic imagery and content on the Internet), but it should be more of an on-going narrative that will move and shift as your child works their way through their own developmental stages. Stay calm even if something upsets you and be honest with one another. It is probably best to remember that if your child has learned about physical intimacy via YouTube or the Internet, what you will be discussing will not be new to them.

In all your conversations, it is important to remember that your child wants the same things as you do for them: to thrive and be safe in a world now suffused with networked technology. The paradox is that it is our generation who have invented the complex technologies and systems that young children use fluently – and yet we are far less familiar in their use than they are. It is therefore important that both participants, the parents and children, understand each other’s viewpoints and learn from one another. As a parent, it is necessary to understand that you may not have all the answers but you do have the wisdom and experience which comes from living longer and which can give your children perspective and balance in their use of technology. Your children, on the other hand, will be technically skilled in using the newer forms of digital technology, but will still require a guiding hand in using the tech to its best effect. It is the combination of these two worldviews and the sharing of information between each other which can help create a healthy balance of communication.

In the end though, they are just children and they will occasionally conduct silly, risky, thoughtless actions without the due weight to consequences which life has taught adults to apply. It is to be expected that there will be mis-steps and crises along the way, just as when they learn that falling off a bicycle is something that only seems exciting for the briefest of moments. As parents we understand this and have the wisdom to guide them to learn. In the same way, when our children face difficulties or misfortunes on the Internet, it is the communication that takes place between the two participants and willingness to try to understand each other others’ viewpoints and consequences that are to follow.

What is important to remember through all this is that children are like sponges. They watch you, study you and soak up every piece of information they can find and store it for later. In fact, 80% of a child’s brain develops in their first three years (Nowakowski 2007; Gilmore, Lin, Prasatwa, 2006). Therefore, what they will learn during this time will help them to evolve into who they become later. With this in mind, this book has been written as a 6 Digital Parenting

beginner’s guide to digital parenting which will introduce the common themes and trends that young children face today. It will offer a flavour of the sort of concerns and issues that parents may face from quite early on, such as the consideration of what is the right amount of screen time. You will be introduced to your child’s life on YouTube and what it means to be Minecraft intoxicated. It will explore various social media platforms and end with how to keep your children safe. This book will highlight our role as digital parents and how best to cope with situations online. The last chapter in this book is dedicated to LGS which will demonstrate how educational technology is used in the classroom and the guiding principles that are followed within the school to keep the boys safe.

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Chapter 2: What is the right amount of Screen Time?

While there is evidence to show that our children benefit greatly from exposure to a digitally rich landscape with technology constantly at their fingertips, there is also a great deal of debate and concern about the amount of screen time which is considered acceptable for young children.

Screen time is a term used for activities conducted in front of a screen, such as watching TV, working on a computer, surfing on a smart phone or playing video games. To be pedantic, there are two kinds of screen time: active and passive. Watching TV is considered passive screen time. It is a sedentary activity and requires limited interaction between the screen and viewer. On the other hand, playing computer games or interacting with multi-players on an Xbox is considered active screen time because it requires some form of active movement by the user. While both types of engagement fall under the same general heading of screen time, there are studies to show that active technology screen time is better for your child than passive viewing (Sweetser, Johnson, Ozdowska, Wyeth 2012).

In fact, there is new research which reveals that four out of five parents believe technology has aided in their child's development (Jary 2016). When used effectively, new forms of technology have the power to transform learning. Recent studies into use of technology (NAEYC 2012) suggest that when screen time is used appropriately, there are ways to encourage forms of collaboration and social interaction between children and their peers.

Newer forms of technology are able to initiate the three Cs of creativity, communication and collaboration with others – anywhere, any place and at any time – which were not possible or affordable with the more traditional modes of teaching (Parmar 2014, Twining 2015).

While technology can be seen to provide some benefits for a young child, the corollary is a set of risks which, if not handled appropriately, can be detrimental and harmful to the child’s development. Statements by Aric Sigman (2011) have suggested that while technology has a part to play in education and is the future for our children, there are reports which show that too much screen time can make it harder for your child to sleep, give rise to attention deficit problems as they get older and can lead to problems of anxiety and depression, while also raising the chance of weight gain.

On average in the UK, teenagers are clocking up to six hours of screen time a day, despite research to show that there are potentially harmful effects upon children after only two hours of screen viewing time. Dr. Sigman (Richardson 2012) points to a string of published studies suggesting links between prolonged screen time and conditions such as heart disease, stroke and diabetes with increased levels of the brain chemical dopamine which can lead to reductions in attention span. Neurologists from the British Neuroscience Association suggest that Dopamine is a key component of the brain’s reward system and has implications for addictive behaviour, promoting the inability to pay attention.

There is no doubt that prolonged screen activity can be addictive. This has been demonstrated in countries such as China and Taiwan with teenagers whose online dependency has been a significant issue. Taiwanese parents are now legally obliged to monitor their children’s screen time. The Taiwanese government can also levy £1,000 fines on parents of children under the age of 18 who are using electronic devices for extended periods of time (Jou 2015).

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Although there may be some truth attached to Sigman’s analysis, there is also cause to believe that his reports are targeted at those children that use screen time excessively throughout the day. So, the real question to ask is how much screen time is healthy for a 7year old, 10 year old and even an adolescent? Does the same amount of screen time apply for a young infant or even a toddler? It is these questions that baffle parents and it is worth exploring how time spent on screen can have both a beneficial and adverse effect on a child’s health and development.

The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) provides two simple guidelines for parents and carers:  

Children under two years of age should receive no screen time whatsoever and; Children aged two and up should spend no more than one to two hours a day in front of monitors, screens or TV.

If children under the age of two are receiving any form of screen stimulation, this is on no account the fault of the child but is the responsibility of the parent or carer. Children at this age learn though sensory simulation, through touch, smell, sight, hearing and taste.

To put this into perspective: The French government has banned digital terrestrial TV aimed at all children under three, while Australia and Canada have similar recommendations and guidelines for parents; and The UK government has recently backtracked on 2008 guidance that children should be exposed to technology and computers from a very young age. However, there are currently no medical or governmental guidelines on screen time in the UK. While these statements are applicable for children in their early years, these same expressions do not necessarily apply to children in pre-school and older age groups.

Young school-age children today have increasing access to a variety of new technology such as the use of iPads, Xboxes, PlayStations, TV, Internet via a PC or Laptop, electronic story books and the huge number of apps available on mobile devices. With children who are accessing technologies that are screen dependant, researchers suggest that these should be used in ways that are developmentally appropriate (Parmar 2014; John SirajBlatchford 2008, Stephen 2010). In this context, ‘developmentally appropriate’ is related to activities where quality and content of screen time takes precedence over quantity. One such example is that of communicating with geographically distant friends and family over video-based technology. A recent study published in Child Development found that while toddlers do not learn words well from passive TV watching, they did learn new words from a video chat with a real person (grandparent, carer or adult) on the other side of the world while using Skype’s text, voice and video features to share real-life experiences (Roseberry, Hirsh-Pasek and Golinkoff 2014).

A TLF Panel survey shows that parents believe technology gadgets are good for children and can aid in their future and educational development. The study also showed that 37% 9 Digital Parenting

of parents said that their children spent between one and two hours a day playing with tech gadgets and 28% said that their children spent between two and three hours online. The survey showed that 38% of two to five year olds owned their own tablet and almost a third owned their own mobile phone. While as parents we want our children to become techsavvy and also keep them entertained, the results from the study seem to point to an excessive use of digital tech by young children.

What is becoming more of a concern is the amount of screen time available before bedtime.

There is no debate that sleep is an essential part of growth and development, learning and memory, emotions and behaviours. Yet the total amount of sleep that young children are getting continues to decrease. Although there are potentially many reasons for this, there is research to indicate that prolonged screen time, by way of watching TV or using computers, mobile phones, tablets or any other electronic mobile devices, may be having a large negative impact on children’s sleep. According to the National Sleep Foundation (NSF), children who use digital media to relax at night have been shown to demonstrate the following: -

To have later weekday bedtimes resulting in fewer hours of sleep per week and report more daytime sleepiness;

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Adolescents with a TV in their bedroom have later bedtimes, more difficulty initiating sleep and shorter total sleep times and;

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Texting and Emailing after lights out, even once per week, dramatically increases self-reported daytime sleepiness among teens.

The increasing prevalence of digital devices in children’s bedrooms has been found to create a culture of evening engagement and blue light exposure in the hours before bed is shown to have a negative impact on sleep time and sleep quality (National Sleep Foundation). There is evidence to show that the impact of blue light emissions in the important evening hours can increase alertness which can disrupt the body’s naturally occurring circadian (or daily) rhythms by suppressing the hormone melatonin, which is important for maintaining and regulating one’s sleep-wake cycle. As a result, some manufacturers (including Apple) now feature an evening setting on their devices, where the colour saturation shifts towards the red end of the spectrum.

While the role of light emission is one factor, the use of devices just before bedtime can also lead to delays in the time that children and teenagers go to bed and consequently lead to shorter sleep overall. A 2014 review found that sleep was hampered by screen time, primarily in relation to shortened sleep duration and a delay in the timing of sleep. The content of what a child is engaging with prior to bed and on the screen can also affect their sleep. For example, video games, animated or scary TV shows or middle-of-the-night stimulating text messages and phone calls can engage the brain and lead to the release of hormones such as adrenaline which can make it more difficult to fall asleep or maintain sleepiness.

The National Sleep Foundation calls for parental awareness, as research indicates that many children are not fulfilling basic sleep requirements. Sleep should be made a priority.

Young children require adequate sleep to ensure normal growth and development, consistent mood, learning, creativity and weight control. Therefore, as advice to parents, 10 Digital Parenting

understanding the influence of light and evening engagement on sleep is the first step of addressing the amount of screen time with young children, particularly in the evening just before bedtime.

Dr Mari Hysing, of the Norwegian research centre Uni Research Health, said it was important that public health guidelines not be restricted to TVs and computers.

“Parents should be aware of the use of all types of electronic devices in the bedroom,” she said. “At a minimum, keep the night-time screen-free in the bedroom, and ideally be logged off an hour or so before they go to sleep” (Cooper 2015).

The recommended rule of thumb for screen time with young children in their primary years is between 20 – 45 minutes per day, dependant on the age of the child and the activity in which they are involved (Siraj Blatchford 2008, Parmar 2014). However, the latest guidelines from the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP 2016) suggest that:    

Children under 18 months should avoid screen time, other than video-chatting; Children aged 18 months to 2 years can watch or use high-quality programs or apps if adults watch or play with them to help them understand what they’re seeing; Children aged 2-5 years should have no more than one hour a day of screen time with adults watching or playing with them; Children aged 6 years and older should have consistent limits on the time they spend on electronic media and the types of media they use.

This would indicate that parents should lay down clear and consistent guidelines and rules about how children are using their screen time. Parents who want to reduce their children’s screen time should look to establish screen-based rules. Parents should be aware of their own viewing and screen-time habits and the possible role-modelling effects these may have on their children. These rules should be discussed openly between parent and child and should match the expectations of both parties (see Appendix 1 for an example of a set of rules my children and I created together).

It is becoming increasingly clear that limiting screen time leading up to bed time is also crucial for the child’s health and well-being and hence, removing electronic devices from the bedroom entirely will improve the sleep environment. When setting limits on screen time, remember to take into consideration the other aspects of their world that need attention such as school work, sports, face-to-face interaction and extracurricular activities.

While these rules are mainly applicable to younger children, particularly in the primary years, some parents find it harder to apply the same codes of conduct with older children.

It might seem reasonable to assume that, as young children grow, they learn the appropriate amount of screen time and reach a level of intelligence and common sense to self-moderate. Unfortunately, research has shown that our children are not able to exercise the self-restraint that we would desire.

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As parents of older children, it is not always easy to set ground rules for teens; particularly as they are growing up in today’s media-saturated world and are never very far away from their mobile devices. While it may not be necessary to reach the extent of Taiwanese law, listed below are a few strategies to help set the ground rules and encourage your teenagers to scale back on screen time: 1) Model your own screen habits: Although it may seem that your teenager is not paying attention to anything you do or say, you are still probably his/ her most important role model. It would be useless to ask your child to cut down on screen time if you are watching endless hours of TV, texting constantly or eating dinner with your phone on the table. It is a good idea to ensure that there is a family room where screens are not in use. The more parents can get involved with their children in a non-digital world, the easier it will be to communicate with them about their life online.

2) Remind your teenager about limits to screen usage: If it helps, set up a screen contract together (see Appendix 1). Banning all devices is not the answer. If anything, it will make them even more tempting to the child. It is, however, important to let your teenager know that you are paying attention to how much time he/ she is spending on the screen. Set a realistic screen time goal together and stick to it.

3) Talk about it: Talk to your child about your concerns. Explain to your child that too much screen time takes away valuable family time. It is also taking the child away from being active which in the long run can lead to weight gain. Share with them articles and books about the impact of using too much media so that they start becoming aware.

4) Restrictions on your Internet Service Provider: Some Internet Service Providers (ISPs) have parent permission controls which allow you to set when the broadband will go on and off in your household. The only problem is that, as adults, your wifi use will also become restricted according to the times set. A more effective solution is to create two or more separate wifi networks, one that is dedicated to the adults and the other to the children so that the latter is turned off when necessary. For example, Vodafone Parental Controls are free and available to anyone with Vodafone home broadband.

Vodafone can set up a family network to control who uses broadband and when. It can be used to tailor access for each family member, without affecting everyone else.

Other UK broadband providers such as Sky, BT, Talk Talk and Virgin Media also offer parental controls which apply to any device that connects broadband via your home wifi network.

5) Parental Controls in the Web Browser: Alternatively, you can change the settings on a browser that you or your child use to access the Internet. However, if you use more than one browser, you will need to change the settings in all of them. If using a Chrome browser, you can allow or block certain sites, see which ones have been visited by browsing through the history and prevent inappropriate apps being installed. Within the Internet Explorer/ Edge browser, Microsoft enables a parent to block websites containing nudity or violence and any other inappropriate content. With the Firefox browser, a parent can filter web content that may be indecent or offensive for children.

Within all browsers, it is recommended that parents make modifications to the settings.

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6) Third Party Parent Controls: If you already have security/ anti-virus software on your computer, it may allow you to block inappropriate content or websites. Some third party software such as Intel Security, Norton, Net Nanny and Qustodio include parental controls. Some of these may be free while others will have a cost.

7) Smartphones and Tablets: More phone companies are providing settings where parents can control content rated 18+ and block them. The UK’s main mobile providers such as Vodafone, EE, O2 and Three automatically block 18+ rated content through the Active Choice network level filtering system. However, this is only for their mobile network, not a home wifi environment. It is advisable to get in touch with your child’s mobile service and investigate what they are able to block. Additionally, FlipD and Glued are Android/iOS based apps that can be downloaded on your child’s device to help manage their online activity. FlipD hides distracting social media apps and games on your child’s device for a period of time of your choice so your child can stay focused while doing their homework. Glued, on the other hand, helps families reduce screen time by rewarding those who abstain with points, like a digital version of a star chart.

Both FlipD and Glued are free with in-app purchase of £0.79 and £4.99 at the time of writing.

The American Academy of Pediatrics (2016) suggest that the quality of the media your child is exposed to is far more important than the platform or amount of time spent online. There is no doubt that too much screen time can be detrimental to a child’s well-being and development, particularly in the evening when it can affect sleeping habits. However, by establishing a reasonable and consultative set of rules and approaches, screen time can become both manageable and productive. Many aspects of digital media are found to be positive: it can be interactive, it facilitates communication and it encourages children to create (Middlebrook 2016). Not all screen time is unhealthy and the key idea is to encourage your child to become mindful about the length of time he/she spends watching a screen, thereby promoting responsibility rather than always having to follow rules set by someone else.

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Chapter 3: Life on YouTube For many people, it seems like video sharing has always been around, but actually YouTube has only just celebrated its 10th birthday. The site, which makes it so easy to upload, view, and use video resources, has dominated 21 st century online culture. It has emerged as a radical alternative to traditional children's TV and indeed, it may be more accurate to say that it has replaced traditional children’s TV. A recent BBC documentary (Coughlan 2016) showed that YouTube has become such a powerhouse that it has in effect taken over the traditional TV environment when it comes to the younger population. The basic reason behind this is that, unlike TV, YouTube can be accessed anytime, anywhere and with any device, as long as broadband connectivity is available. Children and teenagers do not need to be at home to view their favourite YouTuber or cartoon channel.

Similarly, it offers on-demand access to a huge range of content, allowing children to pursue interests and to follow individuals they admire.

There is a common misconception that YouTube is in the driving seat, aggressively targeting a mass audience of young children and changing how they access media. In actual fact, the YouTube app is more about keeping up with the viewing habits of this audience, which had already begun to switch to online entertainment. The top 20 children’s channels had more than 5.2bn views in October 2015 alone, ranging from cartoons (i.e.

Little Baby Bums) to Minecraft (over 100,000 million hits). In its best interests, YouTube is reacting to the fact that tens of millions of children are already watching videos online and, to maximise this opportunity and protect this growing market, YouTube’s owners have moved to ensure that children cannot access inappropriate videos. Indeed, YouTube is now banning non-child friendly adverts by using algorithms to filter out inappropriate videos – with a flagging system for parents to warn it about any ads that may have slipped through the net.

There is much discussion of the phenomenon of the ‘digital babysitter' in which YouTube is framed as one of the leading culprits. The debate is often framed as a one-sided criticism of parents whose children are left in their rooms unattended for several hours with the iPad doing the parenting. Now, if this is occurring, which it undoubtedly is in some cases, then the effect it is having on children has the potential to be damaging. There is evidence to demonstrate that allowing young children to watch hours of videos is detrimental to some aspects of their well-being and development (Rideout and Hammel 2006).

In other ways though, perhaps using YouTube as a digital babysitter is not all that bad. Half an hour to an hour of watching a video on YouTube still leaves plenty of time in the day for reading books, riding bikes, drawing and generally getting the face-to-face parental attention that is crucial for children. Watching a YouTube video does not always have to be done alone – it can be a positive, fun activity when shared with parents and siblings. And, let’s be honest, sometimes parents or guardians simply have to get work done and leave children to entertain themselves for a while. YouTube, like TV, can buy short bursts of time to keep the peace and keep activities running smoothly.

However, if you are a parent with a young adult (under 18 years) who is constantly on their mobile device looking at YouTube videos and you are concerned that they are becoming addicted to the channel, you are not alone. Since its launch in 2005, children and teens have been attracted by the growing phenomenon of Internet celebrities and YouTubers who upload their content freely online. More people than ever are using YouTube to monetise 14 Digital Parenting

their original content and brands, which are available on the site. Many of today’s rising stars are older teens or young adults themselves, who attract the younger generation. This has led to a rise in videos being streamed and uploaded onto the site by young children.

Teenagers (and, in some cases, children) subscribe to their channels and watch the numerous videos or vlogs that have been uploaded. It is the height of cool to be a YouTuber or watch videos on the Internet if you are young! YouTube’s platform has created this new class of celebrities and children are beginning to love them more than the stars whose fame stems from the more traditional sources of TV and film. While this whole change in culture is not, in itself, problematic, it brings with it a new challenge: the content is always available and some children seem unable to turn off.

Many parents still get very upset when they see the signs of possible YouTube addiction and take the computer or tablet away during certain parts of the day as a form of punishment. Others choose a much harsher route and force their children to go ‘cold turkey’, believing that this is the only way to solve the problem. Both approaches have the potential to invite serious trouble and it is highly likely that your child will see you as their enemy. They will start finding fault in themselves and may suffer withdrawal symptoms of nervousness, anger, indecisiveness and even irritability. They may even rebel and begin to use YouTube more frequently still and in a more damaging manner. Perhaps the better approach is to slowly wean your child off YouTube. Reduce their level of use by 30 minutes every day (or every week) until a reasonable amount of time has been achieved.

Alternatively, you can also limit the number of videos your child will view in one sitting and agree the YouTubers that they can view and follow. You are still the parent with an evenhanded sense of power. Stick to your rules and remember you are working to free them from a psychological dependence, which will benefit them greatly in the long run.

YouTube is not your enemy. When used effectively, and on channels which can be trusted or which have been vetted by YouTube itself, it has a wealth of useful and entertaining information buried within it. However, parents really need to worry when their youngsters try to access unrestricted material on YouTube. There are so many inappropriate videos on YouTube unfiltered for impressionable young minds. It is therefore important to place the computer or device in the centre of the family room, or somewhere more public within the home environment, so that as a parent you can listen out or keep an eye on what your child is viewing. This is not always possible, however, so a handy tip for parents to filter out any sort of advertisements and videos on YouTube is to try the following: 1. To start, make sure you're logged into your child’s Google/YouTube account and visit the YouTube page.

2. Go to Creator Studio.

3. Go to Channel Settings 4. Click on Advanced Settings.

5. Select Turn off Advertisements.

In addition, Google, the largest search engine in the market today, has also recently launched a family-friendly version of YouTube in the UK and Ireland that is designed to shield young children from inappropriate content. The new YouTube for Kids has been designed to protect young children from inappropriate content. YouTube for Kids is a safer environment for 3-8 year olds, who can view their age appropriate channels without a view into explicit or offensive videos on the channel. Google has created the YouTube for Kids

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service app with complex screening algorithms to block as much unsuitable content as possible. These are also backed up by human moderators when new concerns are logged.

However, no matter what can be done, it is always important to remember it is impossible to be 100 percent clear and children will always find ways to penetrate the system to access all of YouTube material. So, in the long run, adult communication with the child is the most effective way forward in keeping children safe online. Talk to your child as an adult because in their world of YouTube, they are a lot smarter than you might think.

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Chapter 4: My life is taken over by Minecraft If you are a parent and have children in either the primary or senior school years, then the online Minecraft game will be no mystery to you. At any given moment, thousands of children are to be found playing and watching Minecraft videos on YouTube. In fact, Minecraft creators revealed that the blocky freeform building game has now over 33 million users worldwide (Ward 2013).

As a parent, I often think, what is so special about Minecraft? Why are the children of today so obsessed with it? Should I as a parent be worried? What do the children know that I don’t?

In short, Minecraft is an online, multi-player game about creating and placing blocks in a virtual space. It was originally created by a Swedish video games creator, Markus Perrson, who is also known as Notch. In 2014, Microsoft bought Minecraft for $2.5 billion and now holds exclusive rights to the game.

In the game, users dig mines and build different kinds of 3D blocks within a large world of varying terrains and habitats to explore. Within the game, and as in real life, the sun rises and sets and there are also occasional bursts of rain, storm and even snow. Users gather materials, make tools and tend to their animals that they can tame, farm or even use for food. Depending on which mode a user is in, he/she may also have to fight for survival against hunger, danger and other players.

If this is still not enticing enough, think of it as a playing with virtual Lego which you never have to disassemble and tidy away. As a player you have the opportunity to add to it, change its features and re-create a whole new ‘model’ that can capture your imagination for endless hours and take you into an adventure through forests, deserts or waterfalls, even monsters which you have created and placed into your model. Look at Minecraft as a world which has limitless possibilities, one that is created by your imagination. Indeed, it is so endless that it has now been described as “an engaging, educational and creative game” by many educators worldwide (Microsoft) and is used by schools to support creativity and teamwork.

Not all parents are aware of the restrictions in using Minecraft but, just like social media channels, Minecraft also has age guidelines. Minecraft’s terms and conditions specify that it is built for children over 13 years of age. This is because of US privacy legislation, which requires parents of under-13s to give permission before any data about their children can be collected. It works slightly differently in the UK and, if children under the age of 13 years are using Minecraft, it is a violation of the site’s terms and conditions, but not illegal per se.

Some popular YouTubers run Minecraft channels and they are intended to be familyfriendly. If you have not already met Stampy Longnose or SuperKevinCraft, then you are in for a real treat. Stampy and Super Kevin are just two of the YouTubing Minecrafters who are very popular with young children and whose videos show them building impressive virtual worlds. These YouTube videos have become such a phenomenon that the videos can attract more than 30 million hits in one week, with the majority of viewers being girls rather than boys, on a 60/40 split (Precey 2014).

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As with all such crazes there are many parents who wake up every day wishing Minecraft had never been invented. They feel baffled, frustrated and simply do not understand the fuss associated with this blocky multi-player world. The good news is that there are lots of good experiences that can come out of Minecraft game-playing but unless you as a parent are aware of them, it can feel challenging.

Listed below are some handy hints and tips for Minecraft parents who wish to learn more about Minecraft and how to make the multi-player online game a better experience for the whole family.

Hints and Tips for Minecraft Parents 1) One of the most baffling aspects of Minecraft for parents is quite simply understanding what exactly their children are doing online. As Minecraft is more like a game than a toy – and this is an important distinction to make – the child’s play is driven by their imagination. The game becomes more like role-play which is forever evolving and, as a parent, you may not always be able to follow the storyline. However, it is worth knowing that there are several modes of play in Minecraft. The two main modes are Survival and Creative. In the Survival mode, a player faces zombies and must acquire resources to build shelter, food and fight predators. In the Creative mode, players have unlimited resources to mine from others in order to build homes, towns, cities or whole worlds.

2) It is important to remember that all players are having their own experience and this makes it very hard for parents to break into the fantasy their children have created.

Minecraft is not a toy and, when a new game is started, it creates a new world and a player can have as many worlds as they want. Each time, a player can choose a different world to explore and have a different experience. As you can imagine, this can make the game endlessly replay-able. There are so many possibilities and your children’s imaginations can run wild through the various levels and creations that they can work through. It is best to establish time limits for gaming before your child starts to play. If your child is in the primary years, you may want to consider no longer than 40 minutes to one hour’s game play, depending on the age of your child.

3) There are plenty of Minecraft Videos available for Minecraft fans. According to Parentzone Vodafone, Minecraft videos are by far the most popular gaming content on YouTube, with 3.9 billion views in March 2015. Lots of players use the YouTube videos to improve their skills and learn new techniques. Sometimes, players use the YouTube materials as crib cheat sheets to simply watch what others have done and re-create it.

Parents need to be aware of the various videos the children are watching and particularly that some may include swearing by older players. While most of the Minecraft videos available are relatively harmless, it is worth noting that the very early ones do include some crude and adult language not appropriate for young children.

Some videos have also been found to include commentary with profanity or sexual references and some discuss and encourage bullying so you will want to vet these Minecraft YouTube videos first. Alternatively, there is also the option to turn on YouTube’s Safety Mode which can help block age-inappropriate content. You can do this by first signing into your/ your child’s YouTube account and then scrolling right down to the bottom of any YouTube page. Click on the Restricted Mode drop-down menu and 18 Digital Parenting

select the Lock Restricted Mode on this browser option. When prompted, enter your account password.

Players can be invited into each other’s worlds, so as a parent you need to ensure that your children are playing with friends of whom you approve and that you know. Users can play either as a single player (which is the safest mode because they cannot be contacted by any other Minecrafters) or via the multi-player mode. The multi-player, although fun, does pose the risk of meeting and sharing personal information with third parties. It is important to make your children understand that, if they play with others, this means they are playing with strangers. This is no different to children meeting other children in the playground and going off to play with them. But, unlike the online environment, you cannot keep a constant eye on them in the playground. Unlike a physical playground, where an eight year old is obviously identifiable as a child, some players in this digital playground may not be as young as they claim, present or are simply assumed to be by your children. If there are several friends who would like to play together, the safest way forward is to create a private server where only known friends can join.

While most of the players in the multi-player virtual server space are there just to have a good time, some will destroy your sons’ creations, try to kill their character, steal resources or perhaps use inappropriate/threatening language in their chat. This is often known as ‘griefing’, which is the act of irritating and angering people in multiplayer games through the means of destruction or invasive construction. Griefing is a serious problem and most players tend to dislike and frown upon it. Some others seem to enjoy it so that they can add more drama and action to the game. Either way, if your child starts to become distressed due to other players’ actions, it is necessary to report this to the Minecraft server moderator who can ban anyone who is breaking the rules or is offensive to another player.

4) Minecraft Mods – why do your children always want mods? What exactly is a mod?

Minecraft mods (i.e. modifications) are files which alter the original programming code of the game so that a player can make changes and alterations to the way in which the game is created. There are literally thousands of mods available and they have different functions – some are really useful in enabling players to manage their inventory more effectively, some are educational and replicate ancient worlds, and some others are just plain fun e.g. by adding dinosaurs in an anachronistic setting. While mods in themselves are generally are not a problem, their files are often constructed by the individuals rather than Microsoft and there is a fair chance that some may contain viruses or objectionable content and make Minecraft run slowly or crash. A good tip is to keep a good virus protection software programme running on your computer at all times, use it to scan mod files prior to installing and to only download mods from reputable sources.

5) Minecraft Gaming is quite an intense experience and can sometimes be overwhelming for the child, particularly young ones. There are plenty of dark spaces and objects, animals, or characters springing out of nowhere. Children may need to kill animals to survive during the course of play and, although there is no blood, there are different types of grunting noises when attacked. This can sometimes be emotionally challenging for young children and it is a good idea to be aware of this when your child is playing

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Minecraft. If you have a very sensitive child the game can feel all too real to the person playing it.

6) Lastly, it is possible to report those who break the rules of the Minecraft server to a moderator who can ban anyone from being disruptive or offensive. If your child is gaming with adults and hears offensive language or is faced with an inappropriate conversation, they can report it to the moderator or also directly to The Child Exploitation and Online Protection Centre (CEOP: www.ceop.police.uk). The use of privacy settings is limited in Minecraft but there are few things you can control for your children. If a child is afraid of interacting with zombies, this can be turned off in the settings area.

The bottom line here is the more you can get involved as a parent in understanding Minecraft, the better experience it will become for your child and others in the family.

Minecraft comes with a steep learning curve for the parent and it does not suit everyone.

There are lots of benefits to playing Minecraft and it can be a really worthwhile game for children, but it requires just as much involvement from the parent (or carer) as would normally occur with parents participating in children’s activities in the real world i.e. football, ballet classes, instrumental lessons. Parents need to appreciate that games of this generation have changed and if they want to be fully involved in their children’s lives, then this may include conversing about mods or actively becoming involved in playing the game itself.

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Chapter 5: Social Media We are now living in a time where social media, that is socialising online, has become common practice for both adults and children. Social sites such as Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat and even YouTube can all offer intriguing experiences for the user, connecting them with others around the world and collaborating in ways that could not have easily been achieved through more traditional means.

Social networking is on the rise and the study shows that 22% of young adolescents’ log into their favourite social site more than ten times a day and that 75% of them own their own mobile phones. Socialising online plays an important role in the lives of young people and over 60% of 13 year olds have at least one profile on a social networking site, with many spending more than two hours a day online.

The Internet and access to social sites can offer wonderful experiences. However, as social media has removed the barriers between a young person’s public and private self, it is highly possible for children to become vulnerable and online sharing can possibly lead to harm. Although it may seem like some of the dangers online are not necessarily applicable to your children and that you may scare them, it is better for the children to become aware of the possible harm online. It is important to remind them that everyone is a stranger online if they don’t know them offline and the same rules apply as would with strangers in the offline world.

In the Social Age Survey of 1,004 children (Safer Internet 2015), a child’s social media development begins at nine years of age and over the next four-year period, their Internet activity evolves from simply viewing content online to being active on social media. In fact, children are so keen to get started with social networking that many of them ignore the agerelated guidance. Facebook, a popular free social networking site, has plenty of underage members breaching its minimum age of 13 years, with 52 percent of 8-16 year olds creating accounts under false information (Williams 20140). Mobile messaging service Whatsapp requires members to be at least 16 years of age and yet 40 percent of members online are below this age and therefore in breach of its terms and conditions. Snapchat has a minimum age policy of 13 years but does not require proof of age at sign-up, so younger children are not likely to get caught while using the app. OoVoo is a video-based app on the market that allows a user to make video call’s, voice calls and send texts with up to 12 users at any one time. Like most other social media services, the use of OoVoo is for over 13 year olds and, while it is a violation of the site’s terms and conditions, it is not illegal to use.

The UK Child Exploitation and Online Protection Centre (CEOP) recommends that all social networking sites and others emerging in the market should only be used by young people within the set respective age ranges and who have configured their privacy settings to only allow contact with people that they know and trust in the real world.

There are many opportunities that come with social networking where people can stay connected to friends, share content of self-expression work such as art, work or music and have learned to develop and express their identity online. However, along with these benefits arise new risks. New forms of bullying known as cyber bullying (more in chapter 7), sharing too much personal information online with the public and becoming vulnerable to predatory adults have also found a way into too many children’s lives. Therefore, with this in 21 Digital Parenting

mind, parents need to prepare their children for the real world and, more importantly, for their life in the online world.

It may not be as simple as trying to limit the children’s online experiences. Instead, as parents we need to have open discussions, and share both the positives and negatives of online behaviour. While the whole notion of parenting is already challenging, it is now necessary for parents to talk openly about the types of risks their children may encounter online. Although there are many sites you will have heard of that are popular choices with young children, new social apps are always being introduced into the market and it is necessary to keep up with the latest social media crazes, or to at least be aware of them.

The best way of achieving this is to work alongside your children’s interest in social media rather than trying to control it.

Here are some useful tips to help you do this: 1) As already said, most social sites, e.g. Facebook, have a rule that no one under the age of 13 years is permitted to join. While there is no real way that these sites can enforce this rule legally, as a parent, you legitimately can. It is also possible to report an underage child but ultimately it is your responsibility to decide who has the final say on when and if an account gets created. Discuss with your child that the reason this rule exists is to protect them from unfiltered content that will find its way into their social site profile as well as expose them to people and situations that are out of their depth and which they may not be emotionally prepared for.

2) Advise your child on their privacy settings when using various social media e.g.

Instagram. Help them to set it to the strictest levels necessary so that they are only communicating with people that they know and which keep private data (age, gender, location) secret. This can easily be set via the settings option, often shaped like a cog wheel, within social media apps.

3) Consider using some type of filtering software on your home broadband. This way you can monitor your child’s Internet usage and build another barrier of protection. Filtering software is not there to hinder a user but will give the parent some information about what their children are doing online and log a history of their searches. The Norton Online Family free software is a popular UK filter which allows parents to monitor websites and restrict searches online. Parents are able to set limits on the use of the Internet but they are also able to set permissions so that they can see their children’s online social networking activities, profiles and even receive an email report about the types of websites accessed by the child.

4) Understand your child’s habits. You do not need to spy on your children’s every online move but understand what entices them and what types of risks they are willing to make. It is important to be aware of the kinds of sites that they are using and the people they are chatting with. You may wish to ask your child to show you what he/she is doing very casually so that you are aware of their online activity. If possible, try to keep the computer in a central location. While this is more easily done with young children, it is not so appealing to the adolescent. Ask them to leave their door slightly ajar. Walk by every so often, listening into their conversations. Be aware of any language that may be out of order.

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There is research (Madden et al., 2012) which shows that the majority of teenagers believe that their parents are keeping tabs on their online and social media lives. As a result, they have developed acronyms that they can use to hide certain part of their conversations from attentive parents. Codes such as, POS – Parent over Shoulder – or GNOC – Get Naked on Camera – are some such examples. Unfortunately, it is not possible to keep up to date with the numerous acronyms that the children create and as parents we would drive ourselves insane trying to decode every text or email that are children are sending and receiving. Still if parents are coming across any acronyms that they believe could be problematic, it would be best to search its meaning online and discuss it with their children.

This will show the children that you are paying attention, are becoming aware and can potentially spark the conversation about their online behaviours, which is imperative. A basic guide of Teenage Codes used online is listed in Appendix 2.

5) Speak to your children about posting pictures online. In an ideal world, you will never want your children to post their picture on the Internet but this may not be entirely realistic in the age of Instagram and its ubiquity in teenage culture. As a parent, it is important to discuss the risks of posting some photos. Remind them never to post a picture of themselves in their uniforms or to post pictures of others without their permission. The key message to children is that they should not link their identity (pictures) with real world details such as their name, home address, email, phone numbers, etc.

Most children tend to follow their parent’s behaviours and we all know that we frequently post photos of ourselves on social media (at least for those that use it). So, if you take caution in posting photos of yourself you’re your family, you are setting an example of what you think is appropriate. Posting photos of your children creates a digital footprint for them even if they have not created one – sort of like an electronic paper trail.

Everything that is posted online has information that is valuable to advertisers and data collectors. Some day when your children grown up, they will not want photos of themselves of when they were in their nappies or spotty as teenagers plastered all over social media. So, as a general rule of thumb, be careful with what you post because once it is up on the Internet, the owner loses control over it. Do not be afraid to set some ground rules for your children. If the children are old enough to use social media, then ensure that they follow some of your house rules. One way for families to agree on ground rules is to create a proposal for a shared set of rules (more on this in Appendix 1).

6) Discuss the importance of a positive digital footprint. Children do not often understand the permanence of the online world and it is really important for them to realise that whatever they post can be found. Online vetting, also known as cyber-vetting is increasingly being used to vet candidates for university or job interviews. This is conducted by vetting an individual’s online presence or ‘Internet reputation’ on the various social media networks that they have used in the past and at present such as Facebook, MySpace, Twitter, Instagram or LinkedIn. Universities and employers are able to access a wealth of ‘free’ and available information that an individual has offered in their online footprint which can either work in their favour or against them in the interviews. Inappropriate messages and images could have an impact on their online profile, which universities and employers look through. It is very important to remind children that what goes online stays online.

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With this in mind, Google has offered the ‘right to be forgotten’ ruling which blocks search results across all of its domains when a search takes place within Europe. This ruling states that EU residents have the right to request removal of information that links to outdate or irrelevant information about themselves.

“These edited results will now be shown to anyone conducting name-based searches from the same European country as the original request, regardless of which domain of the search engine the browser is using” (Gibbs 2016).

While this may seem like a get out of jail free card, Google has reported that it has received 386,038 ‘right to be forgotten’ removal requests since the ruling and has accepted only 42% of them so far. Therefore, the same advice stands that children need to careful with what they post online.

The best strategy by far is to create a positive digital footprint, with a carefully crafted approach to having one’s online life tell future Googlers things that you want them to know and to think about you – perhaps it’s your child’s succession of book reviews focused on Young Adult literature, or their involvement in a local archaeology group.

Whatever their interests, if they can tell a positive online story about them in a safe way, these are the search results you want to come up.

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Chapter 6: Online Safety With the suffusion of new technology in modern culture, it should come as no surprise that children and young people are spending more and more time online. While it can be a great way for them to socialise and have fun, there are also some online risks that have the potential to cause harm. As a parent, it is advisable to know as much as possible about how to keep your child safe in this environment. It is not necessary to be an expert on the Internet, however, understanding what your children may do and the risks that they can face will help you to understand the world in which they are growing up.

Talking to your children is one of the best ways to keep them safe online. As a parent, you have the autonomy to set up parental controls to stop your child from seeing unsuitable or harmful content online. UK Internet Service Providers (ISPs) such as TalkTalk, Virgin Media, BT or Sky can provide controls to help you filter or restrict content. Mobile phones, laptops, tablets and games consoles also have settings in which a parent can set restrictions. Additionally, there are also individual softwares, or child-friendly search engines, that can help keep your child safe while they search online.

While parental controls are one way forward, be aware though that young children often find a way to break into these controls so it is actually very important to educate your child about their behaviour and the possible threats that they can face online. If your child is also away from home, the same controls might not be in place at other people’s houses or on a public Wi-Fi connection. Children and young people spend an average of 12 hours a week online (NSPCC) and unavoidably it becomes part of their routine early on so it is best to educate them sooner rather than later. After all, a child who has never been taught how to cross the road on their own is placed at a huge risk the first time they find themselves having to do so without an adult present.

Young children are naturally trusting, a trait which we value and want to preserve. However, it can lead them to chat or become friends quite easily with people on the Internet, even if they do not know them or have never met them before. Scarily, the percentage of online friends that children do not know outside of being online is:  

12% for 8-11 years olds 29% for 12-15 year olds (Livingstone 2012)

We have no way of knowing if these people are who they claim to be – that is the stark and uncomfortable fact of it. It is therefore very important for children to understand the simple basics of staying safe online.

Here are some tips for achieving this: 1. It is never advisable to share personal information. Some free games ask children to fill out lots of details prior to getting started. This data is often sold to third parties. It is very important for your child to remember to never share his real name, address, phone number and which school they attend. Create an alias that they are happy to carry with them in the years to come and release as little information as required.

Remind your son to keep their passwords safe and not to share it. This is private information and can be shared with a trusted adult but not with everyone, even with their friends at school. Control which apps can access GPS (location tracking) on 25 Digital Parenting

phones or tablets so that they cannot track where the user is located. Children and young people often are found revealing their location by tagging photos, such as on Instagram, or checking in on Facebook. This means that people can find out where your child lives, socializes, works or even studies. While this is not a pleasant thought, the anonymity of the Internet means that adults seeking to groom children will exploit any personal information made available in order to connect with the child.

2. Online Etiquette should be positive. When children learn to send emails to each other initially, often inappropriate language is adopted and a whole host of nasty emails can result between friends, peers and on social media. Remind your son that there is online etiquette even in email language and to adopt similar behavior practices online as they would do offline. Similarly, accepting emails, IM messages and even opening files through pop-up messages has the potential to lead to problems. If you don’t know what it is, then always remember to cancel. Often with pop-up messages, a whole host of viruses or nasty messages/ images can be downloaded.

3. Gaming is very popular with children and young adults. Just like more traditional board games, online games have educational benefits too. For example, some online games lend themselves to strategic and spatial reasoning and can help to develop advanced mathematical thinking. Gaming can be a fun and social form of entertainment and, while there is a myth that it is a lonesome and solitary activity, there is research evidence (Jagad 2011) to show that both communication and collaboration is heightened between players on and offline, encouraging teamwork and cooperation between players. There are many ways for players to play online. They can access multiplayer platforms or buy individual apps on mobile phones. There is also now the more popular form of boxed games on PCs and consoles such as the Xbox, Nintendo Wii and PlayStation.

While gaming can be both fun and educational, there is also risk. Some games may offer users the chance to chat with others through means of text and voice. In this case, ensure that your son is playing with someone they know and, if not, then become aware of the language used between the players. It is important to ensure that your son is playing games that are age appropriate. This can be found by looking at the PEGI icon on games. The PEGI rating can give you a clear indication of whether a game is suitable for your son. While this may be reassuring, it is still worthwhile to familiarise yourself with their games, even if that means playing along with them.

Games suitable for children over 3 or 7years old have an advisory green PEGI badge.

Games suitable for children over 12 or 16 have an orange PEGI and for children over 18 include a red PEGI badge. The year groups of 12, 16 and 18 are age limits that have been set by law at the point of sale. Although not prescriptive, the age rating is based upon descriptors on the back of the box for Language, Drugs, Fear, Sex, Violence, Gambling and Discrimination.

Just as we would deny our eight year old’s request to watch an 18-rated film, we should do the same with games deemed suitable for older people. PEGI 3+ games indicate a low level violence which may contain ‘Tom and Jerry’ slapstick violence, as seen in cartoons on TV. A PEGI 7+ game tends to include non-realistic violence towards fantasy-type characters and is often directed at children who have the emotional intelligence to understand that the game is fictional. PEGI games from 12+ onwards 26 Digital Parenting

contain violence that range from direct attacks toward human-like characters to those being shot. As in real life, blood and bodies can be displayed on screen. As PEGI ratings progress there are likely to be gruesome instances of heads, arms and legs being removed by way of chain-saw or shotguns, to give two examples!

According to Andy Phippen, Professor of Social Responsibility in IT at Plymouth University, young people can differentiate between video game violence and reality but where PEGI ratings and common sense is ignored, then alarm bells should start to ring.

So, when young primary-aged children are found playing games like Grand Theft Auto (18+) and Call of Duty (18+), then there is a definite problem. One way to decide whether a game is acceptable for your child is to play it first and decide whether you think it is appropriate. More information on video games can be found on www.pegi.com.

4. In-App Purchasing is the purchasing of apps and the content within an app (e.g. credits, special items, abilities). Apps are small, specialised pieces of software which can be downloaded onto a mobile device. While some apps are useful in terms of telling the weather, using the camera, calculator etc. there are some other apps that cost money and are more for leisure use. There are now hundreds of thousands of apps available through Apple’s App Store and the Google Play store and young people enjoy downloading and playing app-based games as much as adults seem to.

As a parent, it is important to monitor what your son is downloading on your mobile device as some apps cost money. If you are worried, you can turn off in-app purchasing on some smartphones by making the changes within the settings area of your phone. Alternatively, you can also set restrictions on apps with passcodes that only you know and have to input in order to use the app. Normally, paid-for apps are also accessed via a password and are charged to one’s monthly credit card bill. In this case, it would be sensible to set a password to your mobile device ID that only you aware of and which is not to be shared with your child.

It is also worth checking the appropriateness of the app for the age of your son. While some apps are age regulated, it is still necessary to familiarise yourself with the app to find out what it does and how it functions. There are also some excellent websites such as The Educational App Store (http://www.educationalappstore.com/app/apps-foreducation) and Apps 4Primary Schools (http://www.apps4primaryschools.co.uk/), which have been made available for both educators and parents so that they can find relevant apps for their children.

5. Social Networking tends to involve social media websites such as Facebook, Twitter, Instagram etc. and many others which are popular with young people. As discussed earlier, these online sites allow children to be creative, keep in touch with friends and family as well as share photos and videos. However, what is often unknown is that there is an age restriction on these sites. Most sites stipulate a minimum user age of 13. While no law is explicitly broken it is worth reminding children that they would be lying in order to obtain a social media account and as parents we are fully responsible for their actions.

Young people need to learn to protect their identities online, therefore it is important to remind your son that whatever they post online is public and can be spread very quickly 27 Digital Parenting

to a relatively large audience. The content he posts can be copied, altered and reposted to anyone and it becomes very difficult to take back what may later be regretted. Likewise, young children need to become aware of the amount of content they are making available to their contacts. If a user on a social networking site exposes this kind of information without configuring strong privacy settings, they could be offering information to adults with a sexual interest.

6. Cyberbullying is when someone uses technology, such as the Internet or a mobile device, to bully others. It is often described as sending mean email messages, texts or remarks about another on the internet or, more commonly, in social media channels.

Being a victim of bullying of any kind is very distressing for a young person. Where in the past, a child could go home and temporarily forget about the bully, with online bullying, it can happen 24/7 and the victim is often targeted even in their own home.

Images and text messages can be circulated very quickly on the Internet and make it all the more difficult to stop cyberbullying. There have been several distressing examples of cyber-bullied UK teens taking their own lives in recent years.

Always encourage your son to talk to you or an adult they can trust if something or someone is making them feel uncomfortable or uneasy. If your son is feeling bullied online, let them know that this is not appropriate and action needs to be taken. In the first instance, it is important not to sink to the same level as the bully. The bully is looking for a response so by responding, the bully is getting what he/she wants.

Collect as much evidence as you can. Keep a record of the bullying messages you receive. You can then show this evidence to verify what is going on and who is the bully. Ask your son to block the bully so that he can no longer interact with them. If for some reason it is not possible to block the cyberbully, you can screen their calls and delete their messages without opening them. Encourage your son to speak to their form tutor or school counsellor.

If the bully is someone your son knows in real life, then things can much more easily be resolved face-to-face between sets of parents, much as has always been done when friends fall out. Often, the bully’s parents will be shocked to see what their child has said. Equally often, you might be appalled at the things yours has responded with.

Ending a conflict that has become digital requires both sets of parents to take an evenhanded view of their child’s behaviour. It’s unlikely to be totally blameless on one side or the other.

The service being used to carry out the bullying (e.g. Facebook, Whatsapp) will likely have guidelines on acceptable behaviour and a mechanism for reporting abuse.

Alternatively, you can make a report to CEOP (A National Crime Agency Command) Child Protection Advisors online who will support you in taking it further. The UK Child Exploitation and Online Protection Centre (CEOP) is an external and accredited online police authority that protects children from harm online and offline. They work in partnership with local and international agencies to identify online threats to help keep children safe online. More information can be found on www.ceop.police.uk.

7. Online Grooming is when an adult has an inappropriate sexual interest in children and approaches a child online with the intention of forming a relationship with them. It often begins with the adult befriending the child, moving onto wanting to meet them in person 28 Digital Parenting

and could eventually end up with them causing harm to the child. They might attempt to gain the child’s trust by pretending to be a child, often one or two years older than their target. They may upload fake profile pictures, pretending to have similar interests, offer gifts and say nice things to the child. Once the groomer has the child’s attention, he/she often steers the conversation away from public into private means of communication and towards sexual experiences, often asking the child to send sexual photographs or videos of themselves. Some more confident groomers may try to set up a meeting or even blackmail children by threatening to share compromising conversations, pictures or videos with the child’s family and friends. Often children do not think they have been groomed. They believe the other person to be their boyfriend or girlfriend.

How do you know if your child is being groomed? Here are some common signs: -

Your son will want to spend more and more time on the Internet; Your son may be secretive about who they are talking to online and the sites they are visiting; Often you will see your son is tilting their gadget away from you so that you cannot see their screen; Alternatively, your son may switch off the screen when you are around; Using sexual language or phrases that you did not expect them to know; Increasingly referencing a friend, you have not met; They may become emotionally volatile.

If you believe that your son is being groomed online, then this needs to be reported to the Child Exploitation and Online Protection Centre (CEOP).

8. Sexting is the consensual sending of sexually explicit content via the Internet. It can include content from text messages and images to partial nudity, sexual images or videos. Whilst not normalised, it is an increasing trend among teenagers to exchange content of this kind with girlfriends/ boyfriends. This content rarely stays private post break-up and there have been many cases of blackmail and suicide associated with sexting gone wrong.

Secondly, there is a legal risk to consider. If a young person under the age of 16 years engages in sexting activities, it is considered a criminal offence and they can be held responsible for creating and distributing an image of child abuse. By sending the sexting content to another person, the sender is defined as the distributor of child abuse and the user receiving the sexting is held responsible for possessing an image of child abuse. The Association of Chief Police Officers of England, Wales and Northern Ireland have stated that “young people engaging in sexting should be treated as victims in the first instance and not face prosecution as first time offenders, but the situation will be investigated to ensure the young people involved are not at risk” (Childnet International).

Sexting often takes place when a young person is under pressure from someone else or from the use of alcohol and drugs. The content is often created to be sent to a partner but can be circulated between groups by mobile phones or any other Internetbased device. If in the instance sexting has already happened, there are ways to minimize the effects. This is a very humiliating experience and your son will need your 29 Digital Parenting

comfort and empathy. First, support your son. Second, contact the services (e.g.

Instagram or Facebook) where the images are being shared and use their abuse reporting mechanisms. Find out all the details and facts you can. What happened, when was the image circulated and to whom? If you or the service provider can delete it immediately, then do so before it goes viral. Get in touch with CEOP immediately to file a report.

Some other options include: 1. If the image was sent to someone else, contact that person as soon as you can and ask them to delete it, to prevent it from going any further.

2. If you think that the image has been shared more widely, seek additional support. Your son’s friends may be able to let you know where they have seen the image and who has shared it. Involving school staff may also be necessary in order to help deal with those who have shared the image. Young people are often not aware of the law regarding sexting, and schools can reinforce this message to their pupils.

3. To check the other places that the image might be, search online for your child’s name or username. Using inverted commas, and additional search words, such as “Firstname Surname” + Location, can improve accuracy of results.

4. If the image has been shared on social networking sites, report it immediately using the site’s reporting tools because it breaks their terms and conditions.

If you are looking for advice or need to make a complaint about online activity that has taken place in school, always get in touch with our safeguarding officer.

Talking to your son is one of the best ways to keep them safe. Preventing your children from using the Internet or mobile devices will not necessarily protect them in the long run, so it is very important to have conversations that help your son understand how to stay unharmed and what to do if they ever feel scared or put in an uncomfortable situation. Try to become involved in your son’s digital life, without having to spy on them, and take an active interest in how they spend their time online. Although it may seem complicated at first, it will become familiar eventually. There will always be risks, but by understanding and talking about the dangers together you can help keep your son safe. All this is still new territory and is both tricky and fast moving but by engaging with your son early on, you can at least have a good starting point and become involved in both their offline and online worlds. If ever in doubt, look to seek help as soon as you can, talk to other parents and aim to stay in control.

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Parent/Child Scenarios Listed below are some possible online-safety scenarios that you may encounter as a parent or guardian with your children. You may wish to work through them independently or in a group with other parents whose children may be in a similar age range with yours.

Alternatively, and depending on your relationship, you may want to discuss them openly with your son. This will also give you an insight into the way your son is thinking and what to him are the bigger and more pressing issues in their lives. Included within each scenario are some possible suggestions and advice that you might like to share with your son in conversation.

Scenario 1: New friends online Your son tells you about their new Internet friend called ‘Buddy’. Your son has never met Buddy before but they chat on the Internet all the time. Buddy has asked your son if he would like to chat using video the next time they speak. What is your advice to your son?

Advice: Young children are naïve and while we want them to become social creatures, it is just as important to protect them. This can bring about mixed messages for your son.

Therefore, it is important to set rules with your son before they start using the Internet. The sooner you can do it the better. As a code of conduct, it is not advisable for young children to meet with people they know online, unless they are also their offline friends.

Scenario 2: Gaming Your son wants to play a game that is not age appropriate. He has played it at their friend’s house and cannot see what the fuss is about PEGI ratings. All video games are, after all, make believe and they are aware of it so there is no danger involved. What is your advice to your son?

Advice: It is important to explain to your son that some games are more violent/scary/adult-like than others and there can be a negative effect on their well-being.

While some games may merely be a reflection of society, it is necessary to research the game, perhaps watch a few videos online and if necessary, play the game at least once with your son. PEGI ratings are only indicative and different children will be affected differently.

Scenario 3: Email Your son has received an email with an attachment of a rude picture by a friend. What do you do? What is your advice to your son?

Advice: If your son sees something online that makes him feel uncomfortable, unsafe or worried, tell your son to leave the website, turn off the computer and tell a trusted adult immediately. This should also be reported to school if applicable.

Scenario 4: Social Networking Your son is under the age of 13 years and legally should not be using social media according to the site’s terms and conditions. You are on Facebook one day and find your son’s profile. You find out that your son has an account and has been using it regularly.

What do you do? What advice can you give your son?

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Advice: Most social media sites require a minimum user age of 13 years. In order to set up an account, the son will have to have lied about his age, which is a violation of the rules.

While there is no direct legal action taken for this, there is a reason age limits are set. While joining social websites is theoretically free, what is actually taking place is data collection, which is sold over to data brokers who, in turn, are targeting specific and personal advertising directly to the user.

It is important to discuss with your son the implication of having an under-age account on social media. The type of content aimed at your son will be tailored for an older person and your son could possibly have access to older and more mature content.

Scenario 5: Social Media Your son has taken lots of photos of themselves and their classmates from school while still in their school uniform. They were out on a school trip and have some fun and exciting photos to share. He uploads it onto Instagram/ Facebook or another form of social media to share with all his contacts. There are many photos of students in their school blazers with their full names tagged onto their photos. What dangers do you see? What would your advice be to your son?

Advice: Explain to your son that taking photos in their school uniforms is not appropriate.

Ask your son to remove them immediately from their profile view. If the photo has gone public, ask your son to be in touch with others to have it removed. There are lots of subtle details available to an external user and private information that can become public.

Encourage your son to use their privacy tools on the social networking site to protect all of their personal information and remind them to only befriend people that they know in the offline world to become their contacts in their online world. Remind them that they should always ask permission from others first before posting pictures them online.

Scenario 6: Cyberbullying “Your son has been receiving some very hurtful texts from an unknown phone number.

Your son suspects that they are sent by classmates from school. At first your son is OK about it but as time continues, the texts start becoming pretty mean – saying that they hope bad things will happen to him and that your son should not bother living. Initially it was one text a day but it has increased to one every couple of hours. What do you do?

Advice: Sit down and talk to your son. Explain that the bully is looking for a reaction and that he should not reply. Save the evidence immediately and report the cyberbullying to CEOP immediately or to the school if relevant. Contact your service provider to get the number blocked.

Scenario 7: Grooming Your son has been talking to someone they met online for about a year. Your son has been asked to meet up with them at the park not too far from your home. Your son asks you what to do. You are not keen for them to meet as you do not know who this online friend is and whether who they say they are is trustworthy. You express your feelings to your son, explain that it is not a good idea and think this is the end of it. You find out from your son’s friend that your son has decided to meet up with the online friend in private.

What do you do?

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Advice: This is a tricky situation as your son has decided to go against your wishes and meet with his online friend. In this situation, it is better to be honest with your son. Tell your son that you know what he is going to do. While you are not pleased about it, explain that it is necessary to do some initial investigation of his online friend. Contact CEOP and see if they can provide more data on the identity of the friend. Do not allow your son to meet the online friend unless you are completely satisfied that they are an age-appropriate friend and pose no risk.

Scenario 8: Sexting Your son is in an intimate relationship with another. They have been together for 12 months and are committed to each other. It is the summer and they have been separated as they are on family holidays. They are thinking of sending sexy photos of themselves to each other. Your son is not sure if this is what he wants to do. He confides in you. What is your advice?

Advice: Your son should not be coerced to do anything he is not comfortable taking part in.

Even if they are comfortable, they need to understand why this is a terrible idea! Remind your son that once an image has been sent online, it is then beyond their control. Always remember to “think before you post” as it can be shared by others and posted elsewhere online. Remind your son that sending partially nude photos of themselves can be a criminal offence and the risks are high. Sexting images is breaking the law – and that includes those that send, receive and share them further.

Scenario 9: Overuse of IT Your friend’s son is obsessed with gaming, social media, YouTube etc. Their child cannot stop playing computer games until very late at night. He/she is addicted to watching YouTube videos and is using Instagram/ Facebook. What advice can you give your friend?

Advice: It is critical that as a parent you take a firm position in this scenario. If it is a twoparent household, each parent must take the issue seriously and agree on common goals and timings for the child. Discuss the situation and come to a negotiation where the child can use the technology for some of the day and not for the rest. Take an active interest in what your son is doing on the Internet and learn about where your son is going online. You need to reassure your son that you are not condemning him. Rather you are concerned about their overuse of technology. Together with your son, you may like to keep a log of how much time he spends online each day and which Internet activities they engage in.

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Chapter 7: Educational Technology at LGS Mission Our mission at Loughborough Grammar School is to prepare students to flourish independently in their lives after school. At Loughborough Grammar School, we recognise that our children are growing up in a digitally enhanced world that is very different to the one that we grew up in. As parents, grandparents and other people who look after students we can often feel baffled by what young people do in the digital world. This can impact upon how much we understand and appreciate innovative learning environments that utilise modern digital developments. At Loughborough Grammar School, we take this seriously and we are always looking for new ways to empower parents and guardians with digital knowledge so that they can engage positively with digital technology at school and understand how their children are using it to learn and develop.

What we know for sure is that digital technology is having a profound effect on the way in which children learn. We live in a thrilling new era for education in which digital technology continues to unlock unlimited creative opportunities for teachers and students alike. The traditional way in which teachers engage with students is changing. With their world shaped by digital technology, our children are now empowered as independent learners with the confidence and opportunity to seek answers to their own questions and enrich learning that takes place in the classroom. The suite of technologies that form part of the e-learning offered at Loughborough Grammar School include an innovative Digital Learning environment called Firefly and the initiative that provides access to an iPad for every student in years 8 to 11 as well as every teacher.

Digital Learning One of the ways in which Loughborough Grammar School utilises technology in education is through the vehicle of e-learning. Simply put, e-learning is the use of a range of digital technologies which enhance the learning experience for young people. The integration of e-learning at Loughborough Grammar School makes learning accessible to students by allowing them to access the educational curriculum outside of the traditional classroom environment.

We are committed to keeping pace with the latest developments in an innovative world that is becoming more information-rich and globally interconnected.

The Digital Learning Environment at Loughborough Grammar School is Firefly. As an online platform, Firefly enhances the communication between staff and students and allows for the sharing of lesson and independent study resources. Offering the facility for students to upload completed homework, Firefly is also used to deliver interactive assignments.

Teachers have the unlimited opportunity to create innovative and interactive resources that include video, images, surveys, quizzes, blogs and voting polls, all of which are designed to encourage students to engage in different ways with the learning process. Teachers use the e-learning platform to challenge students with thought-provoking questions, kick-start debates in a group forum and stimulate online discussions ahead of a new classroom topic.

Firefly is also the perfect place to post useful links to engaging web content and to share revision notes with students. In short, the possibilities are endless.

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From September 2017, teachers will be posting all homework on the Firefly platform. This ensure that no boy will ever have the excuse that he has ‘forgotten’ what his homework assignment is, or that he has ‘lost’ the worksheet that he was given in class. He will be able to log onto Firefly and find what he needs.

iPad Provision Providing students with an iPad at Loughborough Grammar School to enrich the learning experience is just one way in which we are using technology that is fast becoming an integral part of the lives of the young people in our care. The student iPad is provided from Year 8 as a resource to be used both within lessons and at home for independent study.

Our high speed filtered Wi-Fi network ensures safe and reliable Internet access throughout the school. By providing the device the school ensures that every student has the same opportunity for immersive learning and mobile access to digital content. The school uses an enterprise mobile device management system Meraki to supervise the iPads, and this enables the seamless delivery of applications and ensures consistent configuration.

Online Safety We are committed to helping all students to develop the skills that will help them to thrive and stay safe online. As part of the Loughborough Grammar School e-Learning Strategy we take every possible measure to ensure that students are safeguarded while accessing the Internet and that all new technologies are used in a responsible and productive manner.

Our staff are trained in the safe and effective use of digital technology and kept up-to-date with all of the latest developments through a centralised approach to professional development in the area of e-learning and the sharing of best practice across all academic departments.

The school network is protected using firewalls and an industry standard web filtering solution. This provides safe access to the wealth of useful Internet content whilst blocking malicious and harmful sites. Every device on the wired and wireless network is filtered, and we extend this protection to the student iPad irrespective of where this is connected.

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E-Learning Guiding Principles Mobile technology Integration of mobile technology is integral to the technical strategy at Loughborough Grammar School. This strategy has student safety and the accessibility of learning at its core. In 2013 we implemented a strategy that would see all students from Year 8 through to year 11 provided with access to a personal iPad to enhance the learning experience. In addition, class sets of tablets are available as a bookable resource for all other year groups.

Safeguarding The School has installed several safety features for when devices are connected to the internet via the School network. Web filters have been installed to safeguard against access and exposure to inappropriate websites. Each iPad has also been configured in a way that limits and controls the applications that can be downloaded to the device to ensure that only material and content that is safe, appropriate and productive can be accessed using these devices.

IT infrastructure IT infrastructure at the school has been designed and developed to support the Digital Learning Environment and the network of iPads across the school with a priority placed on achieving safe and secure internet access. Our goal is to educate students to become resilient and responsible users of the Internet with the confidence and skills necessary to navigate and explore the wealth of information and resources that they have at their fingertips. The introduction of new digital learning technologies is a truly exciting way forward for the School and will give students access to information and acquisition of skills in a way that has never before been possible.

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E-Learning in the Loughborough Grammar School Classroom Teachers across the full spectrum of the curriculum at Loughborough Grammar School have made significant advances in the integration of e-learning and mobile technology into classroom teaching, consistent with our mission to encourage and develop the 5 Cs: Creativity, Communication, Collaboration, Critical Thinking and Citizenship.

E-learning resources have become an indispensable aid to learning through the school.

Teachers across the curriculum are incorporating e-learning into lessons to provide personalised feedback to students, create an archive of study and revision resources and set engaging homework assignments.

In English, students are stimulated by engaging online discussions and debates using online blogs and forums on the Digital Learning Environment (Firefly). Students are challenged to develop their communication skills and critical thinking and they are learning to collaborate outside of the classroom.

In Maths, students use a range of mathematical apps on their iPads to inspire them to develop their numerical skills. These apps are an integral part of classroom learning and used to help students complete their homework assignments.

In Science, students use their iPads extensively for research and to create presentations supported by an invaluable archive of interactive and engaging resources available on Firefly.

In Humanities and Art, students benefit from subscriptions to useful and stimulating online resources, games and apps. History lessons are brought to life using video projects and other interactive and creative assignments with the quiz function of Firefly used to make learning fun and engaging. Art students are investigating the use of digital sketchbooks, the latest advances in digital sketching and electronic submission of files. To complement and facilitate a traditional classroom approach to art.

Modern Foreign Languages have instant access to online quiz software Kahoot, through which students answer questions in real time and play against each other. Students use Linguascope, Kerboodle and Camera Translation to help resolve ambiguity in sentence construction and understanding. Flashcards apps are proving to be hugely successful as an aid to revision.

Drama, Music and PE make use of digital technology and media to record performances and sporting events. The footage provides valuable feedback for both students and staff, whilst also providing an opportunity for the school to broadcast showcase events.

In Politics, Firefly is used to provide material and resources to help students prepare for a topic so that classroom time can be as productive as possible. A forum for debate and discussion.

E-learning in Classics allows access to the Cambridge Latin Course website. This has a wealth of resources which support vocabulary and translation work. Students use iPads for research and presentations on ancient Roman society. Students are challenged by vocabulary testing apps, mind mapping apps and flashcards for revision.

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Computer Science has fully embraced the Firefly learning platform to host resources and to create a two-way communication tool between staff and students. E-learning provides scope for students to be challenged and stimulated with a range of learning material including homework assignments with active links to supporting resources. Firefly allows a portfolio of student work to be created that facilitates regular feedback and tracking on progress.

Design & Technology makes extensive use of Solidworks and Techsoft Computer Aided Design packages to control the laser cutter, 3D printer, CNC router and lathe mill with the opportunity for students to test their design in a virtual environment.

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Appendix 1: Screen Time Proposal You are most likely to maintain positive screen time if an informal proposal of screen-time rules is drafted as a family. It can help establish the expectations from both parents and children. Together you can write up a set of expectations which outlines clear house rules with agreed upon consequences. Below is one example:

Screen – Time Proposal (You may wish to list the screen related activities if necessary i.e. Internet, Video Games, Mobile phone etc.)

Parents’ names:

_____________________________________________________

Children’s names: _____________________________________________________ Date:

_____________________________________________________

1) Screen time is allowed on Friday, Saturday and Sunday and for no longer than 1 hour both in the morning and in the evening.

2) If you are under 6 years of age, then screen time is limited to 30 minutes on Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

3) There is no use of screen from Monday – Thursday unless it is required for homework. In which case, this will be done in a public room at home.

4) There will be no use of mobile devices during meal times and at the dining table, either at home or in a restaurant.

5) Screen time will be allowed if a play date has been arranged.

6) During holiday time, screen time is acceptable during all days but no more than 1-hour use in a day.

7) When my screen time is over, I will stop my video, show or game without an argument.

If I don’t follow these rules, I understand that there are consequences. Failure to follow these rules will result in losing screen time on one of the days of the weekend. This agreement has been set in place for my own well-being and safety.

Child Signature: ___________________ Parent Signature: __________________

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Some parents may wish to take it a bit further and also add the following: 

All mobile technology will be turned off at a set time (and handed over to my parents, if applicable) on weeknights (and weekends, if necessary).



My parents will have access to my password(s) in order to access and monitor my activity on all my devices to ensure my safety is met at all times. It is my responsibility to keep my parents updated with my current passwords.



I will not use profanity, sexually explicit language or any other inappropriate language as defined by my parent(s).



I will not share pictures of myself or anyone else, which I would be embarrassed about if they were viewed by my parents or my peers.



If I am aware of a cyberbullying incident online, I will let my parents know with the understanding that I will not get in trouble.



I will not share photos of others without their permission on social media.



I will follow the privacy settings established by my parents and will not communicate with people I do not know. If someone wishes to speak to me, I will share that information with my parents before communicating with him/her.



I will not post personal information about my family or myself online, including photos of my siblings.

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Appendix 2: Internet Acronyms (2016) 1.

1174' - Party meeting place

24. LH6 - Let's have sex

2.

420 – Marijuana

25. LMIRL – Lets meet in real life

3.

53X – Sex

26. (L)MIRL - Let's meet in real life

4.

8 - Oral sex

27. LOL – Laugh Out Loud

5.

9 - Parent watching

28. MorF – Male or Female

6.

99 - Parent gone

29. MOS – Mom over Shoulder

7.

ASL (RP) – Age Sex Location (Race/Picture)

30. NIFOC - Naked in front of computer

8.

BF/GF – Boyfriend/Girlfriend

31. NMU – Not much, you?

9.

BRB – Be right back

32. P911 – Parents Emergency

10. Broken - Hungover from alcohol

33. PAW – Parents are Watching

11. CD9 - Parents around/Code 9

34. PIR - Parent in room

12. CID - Acid (the drug)

35. POS – Parents Over Shoulder

13. CU46 - See you for sex

36. PRON - Porn

14. DOC - Drug of choice

37. PRW – Parents are watching

15. GN – Good Night

38. S2R – Send to Receive (Pictures)

16. GNOC - Get naked on camera

39. SUGARPIC - Suggestive or erotic photo

17. GTG – Got to Go

40. TDTM - Talk dirty to me

18. GYPO - Get your pants off

41. THOT - That hoe over there

19. IDK – I don’t know

42. TWD - Texting while driving

20. IPN - I'm posting naked

43. Warez – Printed Software

21. IWSN - I want sex now

44. W/E – Whatever

22. KOTL - Kiss on the lips

45. WTF – What the F***?

23. KPC - Keeping parents clueless

46. WTTP - Want to trade pictures?

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Biography Dr Neelam Parmar, Director of E-Learning

Dr Neelam Parmar currently works as Director of E-Learning at Ashford School, United Learning and is instrumental in leading the transformational change of embedding technology within teaching, learning and development. She has completed her PhD in Developing a Pedagogy while using New Technology with young children and is committed to empowering schools, teachers and IT/MIS teams to use technology in constructive and purposeful ways. She has spoken in conferences on The Integration of Mobile Learning Technology with BETT, The Academies Show, ICT Summit Moldova, Unesco, Online Safety and Etiquette in Parliament and EdTech with Terrapinn in South Africa, Singapore and Dubai. Neelam has published a series of books on Digital Literacy in the Primary curriculum with Hopscotch Publishers and Digital Parenting with United Learning.

Neelam’s areas of expertise includes management of IT/MIS systems, online learning and strategy, e-learning CPD staff development, pedagogical use of mobile technology in classrooms and creating content based blended flipped learning approaches. She firmly believes that the use of mobile technology can help fill the unequal educational gap and has a vision to extend effective teaching and learning to all.

Twitter - @neelamaparmar1 Linkedin – https://www.linkedin.com/in/neelamparmar

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