Life In Orpington November 2022

Stress Relievers

We can’t quite believe it’s nearly the end of the year – how quickly did it go? The good news is that we’ve got plenty to keep you busy with this month’s issue - from stress relievers for over-achievers, to how to create positive relationships – and so much more.

As many of our regular readers are aware, we’re not ones to dwell on negative news, preferring instead to adopt a positive viewpoint and focus on all that is good in life. But with the cost-of-living crisis on everyone’s mind, we thought it appropriate to bring you a special pull-out-and-keep section on ways of coping with rising costs. Head to the centre pages to pick up some great tips and advice.

This month we also mark Remembrance Day – thank you to the readers who sent in Remembrance poems for our ‘Write It, Say It, Message It’ page (keep your comments and suggestions coming to hello@lifeinmagazines.co.uk) and we’ve also got a lovely short story, ‘A War Memoir’ in light of Armistice Day.

Until next month, have a great November – and please be mindful of keeping pets indoors on Saturday 5th November when it’s Guy Fawkes Night.

PULL-OUT-AND-KEEP

Lauretta Wright, Editor

PS Don’t forget you can nominate a Local Hero or tell us about a Random Act of Community Kindness – we love sharing your

stories.

Office & Editorial Assistants

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In recognition of this month’s Remembrance Day, thank you to Jon Israel and Robert Johns for their poignant poems…

Thinking of You

When in the vicinity of Biggin Hill, I feel quite sad inside. My thoughts race back to the War-torn years and the tragic way you died. Many died upon the ground, even more fell from the sky, but for your nerve and fortitude, I too, would have surely died.

Standing in the vicinity of this British field, I think of secrets it could yield, from around the world folk came to us, to fight day and night without a fuss. Is that the sound of a Hurricane I hear, with a Spitfire at its side?

No! it's neither of these, it's just the wind playing with my mind. Looking around in this new age at youngsters in their prime, You were once as they are now, but died before your time. Time is a great healer they do say, but that's not entirely true. Not one day passes by, that I fail to think of you. Jon. Henry. Israel.

Unknown Soldier

Whilst standing by your grave, I read the words etched in stone, "Unknown Soldier killed in May" You did not die alone.

When the orders were given, For you to go over the top, How sad you must have felt, To see your comrades drop.

Buried deep in foreign soil, The flower of Britain's youth. Side by side and row on row, Your peaceful slumbers rest.

It was the war to end all wars, Many have passed since then, How many more will continue to die, For a cause so conceited and vain?

Robert Johns SRN. RMN. MIOT. Major RAMC retd.

The star response ( ) wins a £15 one4all digital gift card courtesy of The Bed Post (the-bedpost.co.uk). Email

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Random Acts of Kindness (because it’s not all bad out there)

To the person who found my wallet and cleverly handed it into Adams House Dentist in Petts Wood after seeing the receipt thank you! There are good people in this world.

Rob Redman

Seasons turning  by MADELEINE LEHANE Summer goes Autumn knows It's her time now

Sandals no more But jumpers galore, Hats, scarves and gloves.

Shorter days

And misty haze  Puddles of rain.

Leaves turn  Bonfires burn The cold creeps in.

Halloween sights

Firework nights

Dark skies and stars.

Winter will come And when that's done We'll have the joy of Spring!

This is my Jett Jett peacefully resting. He turned three years old in August just gone. He is full of sweetness and has a gentle touch - he loves affection and always stays close by!

Steven Smith

See the Pet feature for more pictures of your furry friends –and send your pictures to hello@ lifeinmagazines.co.uk

History

The “Spanish” Flu Pandemic of 1918 – 1920

by PAM PREEDY, historian & author

Emergency hospital during the Influenza epidemic, Camp Funston, Kansas

Towards the end of January in 1918, Dr. Loring Miner who lived in Haskell County, Kansas was called to see a patient with body aches, fever, a headache, and a dry cough. It was clearly influenza, but the symptoms were more severe than typical flu symptoms, and as the days went on more people became ill, with disproportionately large numbers of young, strong adults dying. Then it spread to a military training camp, Camp Funston in Kansas, on March 4, 1918. Private Albert Gitchell was a cook handling lots of food that would be delivered across the camp. Gitchell had an extremely high fever, (103oF), sore throat, and he “ached all over”. He was quickly followed by others with men registering temperatures of 103-104oF. As many as 500 men ended up in the infirmary that week. Two weeks later 1,100 men required hospitalisation with thousands more sick in the barracks.  Dr Loring Miner put out a Public Health warning - nothing was done. Within a month, the Flu seemed to be over as the number of patients began to decline.

Camp Funston was the training camp for the American forces preparing to embark for Europe and the disease soon spread to other training camps and ports of embarkation. By April, 1918 the virus had reached the French ports and by the middle of the month had reached the Western Front. It then spread rapidly through Europe and quickly became global, reaching the far East and Australia via India.

New evidence suggests a new source of the virus: China. Chinese labourers were required to work on the Western Front; digging trenches, unloading trains, laying tracks, building roads and repairing damaged tanks. Some 90,000 Chinese labourers (mostly farm labourers) were transported across Canada to work in the Chinese Labour Corps on the Western Front. They spent six days in sealed containers crossing Canada and then on to France. Some 3,000 ended their Canadian journey in medical quarantine. Their symptoms were not taken seriously, but blamed on the unfair racist prevalent view; ‘Chinese laziness’. By the time they reached France in early 1918, many were sick and soon hundreds were dying.

Britain and other protagonists had imposed laws of censorship on the media, but there were no such laws in neutral Spain. When King Alfonso 13th of Spain was taken gravely ill with flu, it hit the Spanish headlines. In Britain it was claimed that that it was carried to Britain on the dry

spring winds and therefore Spain must be to blame!

There were three waves of the flu. The first wave lasted from the beginning of 1918 and was relatively mild.  Mortality rates were not appreciably above normal; in the United States 75,000 flu-related deaths were reported in the first six months of 1918, compared to 63,000 deaths during the same time period in 1915. In Madrid, fewer than 1,000 people died of it between May and June 1918. No quarantine was instituted. However, the first wave disrupted military operations of World War 1, with three-quarters of French troops, half the British forces, and over 900,000 German soldiers sick.

The second wave was a much more aggressive form attacking the sick and elderly. The virus could kill quickly; taken ill in the morning and dead by the evening. When post-mortems were done, it was found that a patient’s lungs were filled with fluid so that they had literally drowned, which is presumably why they turned blue. Certainly coronavirus has attacked the lungs and patients who become very sick need oxygen. The problem with diagnosing influenza is that there are a whole variety of symptoms. Was it one disease or several diseases? While medical knowledge at the time knew about bacteria, very little was known about viruses.

The third wave started in January 1919 and lingered until June that year. Some countries suffered a fourth wave until late 1920. There was little that could be done for the patients except to provide palliative care: to reduce the fever, hydration and bed rest. There were no flu vaccines, antiviral drugs, antibiotics or mechanical ventilators. Treatment tools were basic and limited to supportive care and unproven remedies. Some old medicines were tried with greater or lesser success – as has been done during the latest pandemic. The scientists were searching unsuccessfully for a vaccine. We are lucky that vaccines have been developed for our protection.

I had a little bird

Its name was Enza I opened the window

And in-flu-enza

(Children’s playground rhyme – 1918)

Pay a visit to Bromley Historic Collections on the 2nd floor of Bromley Central Library to learn more about Bromley Borough’s history.

Pam Preedy

Oh yes it is!

Panto returns to the Churchill Theatre in Bromley on 4th December with a spectacular production of Jack and the Beanstalk, starring Strictly’s Anton du Beke as Jack, comedy genius Lloyd Hollett as Silly Simon and West End musical star Rhiane Drummond as the Princess. All three have happy connections to Bromley – Lloyd remembers going to the Churchill as a child and Rhiane loves the shops in the Glades like Zara. As Anton says, “It’s a great town and I’m genuinely excited about coming to Bromley.” Audiences can expect “a great show, it’s going to be a lot of fun! We’ve got a 3D giant and a traditional pantomime cow!” Jack and the Beanstalk runs at the Churchill Theatre from Sunday 4th December until Saturday 31st December. Visit churchilltheatre. co.uk for more information

Life In…Magazines is hiring!

We’ve got two exciting positions open for those looking to grow with a small company that has big ambitions. First up is a home-based salesperson. We’re offering a commissiononly salary of 15% on revenue brought in with target-based incentives. You’ll be a quick learner and have a great ability to listen. Previous telesales experience is essential. We’re also looking for an office/editorial assistant who is pro-active, confident and super organised.

Both positions are for those who are self-employed. Please send your CV and why you think you’d be perfect for the job to lauretta@lifeinmagazines.co.uk by Friday 4th November.

Armistice: Why should we remember

Peter Whapshott, founder of Barbed Wired Tours and Ambassador for Care For Veterans, will be offering a one-off talk on Remembrance Day, Friday 11th November to raise money for Care for Veterans. Taking place at Bromley Football Club from 7pm until 9pm, Peter will be looking at why we should remember the Armistice, exploring a number of battles and the people who were active in them, and talking about some of your relatives who may have taken part.

Tickets cost £5 per person. All age groups are welcome - to register your interest email hello@armistice.org.uk or call 0204 548 3000

Homecare Specialist award!

Gracious Care has been named as Prestige Awards’ ‘Homecare Specialist 2022’ for London. The company’s founder, Christine McNamara, said: “We’re delighted that the judges were particularly impressed by the personal touch, which comes as part of the service at Gracious Care. The professional team take the time to get to know their customers, understanding their individual needs and devising bespoke schedules of care to ensure their requirements are consistently met to a high standard. The care providers are more than just hired help, they are friends and pillars of support for clients.”

For details see graciouscare.co.uk

Be scam aware!

Friends Against Scams is a National Trading Standards Scams Team initiative, which aims to protect and prevent people from becoming victims of scams by empowering people to take a stand against scams.

See friendsagainstscams. org.uk

Image: Kate Darkins Photography

Peter Whapshott (left) with Chas Jordan from Fair Contracts/ Bromley Business Network.

LITTLE TREASURES

Local resident, 10-year-old Faith, sadly lost two members of her family in quick succession and spent her summer holidays raising awarenesss (and funds) for St Christopher’s Hospice, who helped looked after her grandparent before she passed away. She set a target of raising £500 and, to date, has raised over £2,000. Faith’s mum, Tracey, tells us she’s so proud of Faith and that what she’s done needs to be highlighted. Over to you Faith!

Q: It must have been tough coming to terms with losing two members of your family. What has helped you deal with the loss?

I always try to remember that they wouldn’t want me to be really upset because that would upset them too, looking down on me. I found the Candle Child Bereavement Service at St Christopher’s really helped me understand more about losing people and grief.

Q: How have you helped raise money for St Christopher’s Hospice?

First of all I started by selling lollipops in school with pocket money that I saved and making fidgets to sell. My friend helped with this so we will be donating that money separately. When I was at my football camp in summer I told them I wanted to raise more money and would be doing a sponsored walk in September. They helped me set up a fundraising day where I planned fun activities such as egg & spoon/relay races. We also did a raffle and my football coach, Elyon, kindly donated a brand-new pair of football boots!

On 9th September I did the 10km Moonlight walk along the Thames with my mummy and daddy. We set up a Just Giving page a few weeks prior and raised over £2,500! I was also gifted a signed pair of boxing gloves from heavyweight boxer Joe Joyce as a raffle prize.

Faith with her dad finishing the walk

Faith fundraising at her football camp.

Q: Your goal was to raise £500 but you’ve totally smashed that figure! How do you feel about people’s response?

I feel really happy and grateful. It means a lot to me to raise this money for the hospice in memory of my Nanny Ange and Uncle Ty. My nanny felt really comfortable when she spent time there and they also make lovely cakes! The money raised goes towards the running of the hospice, caring for the patients and services such as bereavement therapy.

Q: What message do you want to say to the people who’ve helped sponsor you?

A big thank you to all those people that helped me with my fundraising! It means so much to me. I would also like to say to all of them that they’re amazing because they helped me make this possible. My target was £500 and they supported me so much that I raised £2,507 in six weeks! Also their nice messages and comments made me feel really good.

Q: Finally, what does community mean to you?

It’s about coming together for a good cause, all supporting each other and lifting each other up! It has made me want to do even more fundraising for our local community!

with you details.

Raising the bar

The team at Devonshire House and Newman Flexible Workspace held a Coffee Morning in aid of Macmillan Cancer Trust recently to help raise much-needed funds. The morning proved a huge success with a bakeoff competition, quizzes and prizes galore and an impressive £300 raised for the charity with donations still coming in. Pictured is Newman’s Aimee Cooter (left) and Jaya Sharma. The Mayor of Bromley, Cllr Hannah Gray, also attended to show her support.

TV Licence

One eagle-eyed reader (thanks Sam!) spotted that in last month’s issue (22 UK laws you didn’t know existed), we wrote about how you needed a TV licence to watch TV. That’s not strictly true as you only need a licence to be able to watch Live TV or BBC iPlayer – just to set the record straight. For details see gov.uk/tv-licence

Feature on the Community Noticeboard!

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you have a little treasure you want to highlight in an upcoming issue?

your child has done a good deed forsomeone, helped raise money for a good cause or has been a carer.

Spotted on social

Orpington Brass and Sax Band welcomes new players

If you can already play an instrument a little or have the time to learn from scratch, you are very welcome to join this friendly band! Some brass instruments may be available to borrow. We rehearse on Monday evenings 7pm - 9.30pm in Green Street Green, Orpington. See our website for further details www.orpingtonband.co.uk or call 01689 854657

What a wonderful tribute to our late Majesty The Queen;local resident and drone operator, Stephen Sangster,helped create and organise an event that saw members ofthe community place 250 candles to create a stunning pieceof art in Orpington’s Broxbourne Gardens. A number ofmedia outlets picked up on the story including the EveningStandard – see https://bit.ly/3SBBuUT (case sensitive).

Become a Bromley Community Champion!

Bromley health and care services are inviting residents to join their new voluntary community champion programme. Community champions help by sharing important information in their community.

Sarah Spencer-Adams from Orpington volunteers as a Community Champion for the One Bromley Integrated Care Partnership. One Bromley is a partnership of health, care and voluntary services working together to provide more joined up services for Bromley residents. We ask Sarah what her role entails…

Why did you become a Bromley Community Champion?

I’m semi-retired and have always been keen to get involved in my local community and help other people.

I saw an advert on social media asking for people to join the programme and it was really easy to sign up. I know what I’m doing is really valued and that every conversation, phone message, social media post and event counts.

What does it involve?

I do a couple of hours a week as a community champion. This can include joining a meeting to find out what important information I can help share across my networks or attending an event to talk to local people.

I also use what I do most days such as chatting to friends and family and posting on social media to help with sharing information.

Can you give examples of what you do?

I recently volunteered as a champion at a local children and family centre to help promote the importance of being vaccinated and to encourage those not registered with a GP to sign up. I have learnt about social prescribing and have promoted the importance of having your blood pressure monitored.

Would you encourage others to join?

Yes! I am really enjoying the opportunity to meet and connect with different people and it’s just so rewarding knowing you are making a difference. I urge others to sign up. It’s really easy and you can do as much or as little as you can manage.

Interested? For more information on how to become a Community Champion see letstalkhealthandcareselondon.org/onebromley-community-champions-programme

New Edinburgh Lodge retirement development

Churchill Retirement Living has welcomed its first new apartment owners at Edinburgh Lodge in Orpington, where a thriving community is taking shape. The first few owners to move into the age exclusive development on Station Road are making the most of the new lifestyle with friendship and a busy social life on hand.

One of the lodge’s first new owners was Judy Jones, who says: “We are already building a friendly community. Our lodge manager Dermot is helpful and always in a good mood. Nothing is too much trouble for him and he can always be guaranteed to find a solution to anyproblems we might have. I’m settling into a calm and delightful home and it’s one ofthe best decisions I ever made.”

Judy’s new neighbour Peter Chin has also settled in well. He says: “It is such a reliefthat I no longer have home maintenance and a garden to look after. As you growolder these jobs are more tiring. I like the location of the lodge, it’s close to shops,restaurants and the cinema, and best of all I can go on holidays knowing that my lodgemanager will keep an eye on things while I’m away.”

Edinburgh Lodge is located a short distance from Orpington high street. It offersa boutique collection of 27 private, self-contained apartments with spaciousrooms throughout, considerately designed with the over 60s in mind, with a warm,comfortable owners’ lounge.

For more information on the new apartments available to buy now,call 01689 769181 or visit churchillretirement.co.uk

ARMISTICE:

Peter Whapshott, founder of Barbed Wired Tours and Ambassador for Care for Veterans, will be offering a one-off talk on Remembrance Day, Friday 11th November to raise money for this very worthwhile cause.

Green flag status

Seven Bromley parks have been awarded with Green Flag status, the quality accreditation mark, with Friends of Parks groups being thanked for their hard work and dedication.

The seven Bromley parks include Biggin Hill Recreation Ground, Chislehurst Recreation Ground, Darrick & Newstead Woods, Hayes Common, Keston Common, Queens Gardens and South Hill Wood, with Green Flags proudly flying at these locations.

local projects

conversions,

full

Peter

remember Armistice, exploring a number of battles

be looking at why

the people who were active in them, and talking about some of your relatives who may have taken part.

spaces are available so book your seat now or by 5th November at www.armistice.org.uk

groups

Pictured from the left are lodge manager, Dermot Darcy, with Judy Jones, Joan Damsell and Peter Chin.

It is safe to say that the beginning of the autumn left all of us saddened, upset, even a little confused following the death of Her Late Majesty The Queen, who had been a constant in most of our lives.

Following Queen Elizabeth II’s state funeral, I have continued to take Books of Condolence to residents around the borough who were unable to make the journey to sign those made available by the Council. It has been an honour to help these Bromley residents and to ensure they were able to share their memories and express their emotions and sympathies in this way.

In a similar spirit of thoughtfulness and remembrance, it was wonderful to be at the opening of the Strongest Link Garden at Biggin Hill Airport. The garden, which was first seen at the Chelsea Flower Show, features a fourmetre tall sculpture of a young pilot looking to the sky. It commemorates all those who served, and continue to serve, in the military.

It is important also to begin the process of communal healing and start to celebrate all the good in the community once more. I was delighted to share afternoon tea with Ira Webber and Joyce Baker, who

Lines from Linda

Oh, wow. The year really has gone fast. It seems the sun has said its fond farewell and only the early morning frost accompanies our breakfast.

Now it’s time for fireworks, and ghouls and ghosts to trick or treat us. Personally, this year, I will be avoiding hanging Halloween decorations. Normally, I love to decorate my front garden with papier-mache flying bats. I plant upside down plastic witches’ legs in my lawn, next to a broom stick and a black cat. I also have skeleton hands that light up like solar lights in the evening to keep away bad spirits. And, I always have a pumpkin which I draw eyes on and cut out a mouth in, then place it on the doorstep to welcome my trick or treat guests.

I buy up shop loads of sweets and happily hand them out to the children who knock on my front door offering to squirt me with black ink or such, unless I hand over the sugary goodies.

This year there will be no pumpkin, after the shenanigans of last year. I had found a ginormous specimen of a pumpkin and given it eyes and a mouth, then placed it on my doorstep. I went into the garden, and with the help of my little dog, I started digging my witch’s legs into the lawn. I hung my bats on the trees, and as I placed my black plastic cat alongside the broomstick, I noticed my little dog was nowhere to be seen. But, to my

both celebrated their 100th birthdays (pictured), and to hand out prizes to members of the 3rd Orpington Scout Troop. This included a prize that was originally donated by a former Mayor of Bromley, and good friend, Ian Payne. I also bumped into Ian at the Inauguration of the new Bishop of Rochester, which was held at Rochester Cathedral.

One of the most rewarding engagements of recent weeks was a visit to one of the Bromley Care Leavers’ Come Dine With Us evenings. The project is close to my heart as it is one of the charities I am supporting this year. It aims to bring together care leavers, who may feel isolated or lonely, to cook and share a meal while also introducing them to experts and professionals who can offer more specific support. We had a delicious meal and a fun game of Uno; it was incredible to see the project in action and reinforced how important it is to help raise funds for them.

If you would like to get involved with my future fundraising evenings, we have a charity black tie ball on 19 November with music from the Force 10 Big Band, and a spectacular Night of Classic Movie Themes concert performed by a 50+ piece brass and woodwind orchestra on 3 December. More information can be found on social media and Bromley.gov.uk

Cllr Hannah Gray Mayor of Bromley (2022-23)

horror the pumpkin had come to life and was moving, and now…. Barking! Panic overcame me, as I realised my little dog’s curiosity had got the better of her and she had crawled into the mouth of Mr Pumpkin and was trapped inside his large body. The pumpkin was jumping around my front doorsteps and barking at passers-by. You can imagine the mayhem. All trick or treaters would be too afraid to approach my house, but more to the point, my lovely dog was trapped. I had to lift pumpkin and dog and rush speedily to my local vet for help. I truly frightened passersby on my way. No one had encountered a barking pumpkin before. The vet cut into the vegetable’s mouth and my little dog came out, shocked, frightened, but unharmed. The pumpkin had cost me a lot of money, not to mention the vet’s bill. We are in days where we are advised to economise and eat wisely. I brought the pumpkin home and baked him. He was an excellent source of Vitamin C and K. But I am a vegetarian and since he came to life, even briefly, with the help of my dog, I felt guilty eating him. Pumpkins are now banned in my house. Cinderella can have my share to get her to the ball at Christmas.

For more about me and my crime novels see

No one had encountered a barking pumpkin before.

"

5 Minutes With…

Graeme Preston

Graeme is manager of Trading Standards for Public Protection at Bromley Council. We chatted with him to gain a better understanding of rogue trading and how to avoid being the victim of it…

What are the key red flags regarding rogue traders that people should look out for?

1. Cold Calling - never deal with ‘cold callers,’ who are people who show up to your homes spontaneously. Also, often leaflets that are put through your door need to be researched before you invest in what is being advertised.

2. Offering cheap prices at first which then escalate - often rogue traders will start off with low prices to convince you to use their services and these prices will rapidly increase.

3. Someone who is available straight away - obviously, this is not always the case, but rogue traders are often available much more often than legitimate businesses that operate in said industry.

When does someone meet the criteria to be classed as a rogue trading person?

A rogue trading person is someone who does home maintenance jobs badly with a negative intention, such as trying to rip someone off and make a lot of money without the assurance of high-quality service.

Which demographics tend to be the most vulnerable targets?

Elderly people are the typical targets of rogue trading, but this is a generalised statement. Homes that appear to be neglected are also often vulnerable to fraudulent services. However, we also hear of those who have been victimised online, so caution is key.

If someone feels that they are being defrauded, what advice would you give them?

If you feel a service may be suspicious and it’s urgent, call Trading Standards’ Rapid Response and do not take cold callers (making unsolicited visits or phone calls to people to sell a good or service). Do not rely on a leaflet through the door, and always get at least three quotes from various traders before doing any work/paying for anything.

As an organisation, how would you prevent a rogue trader from striking again after being caught?

We investigate everything that we can, which results in prosecution in some cases. Rogue traders do not tend to stick to one area, so we have a secure intelligence network that allows the appropriate sanctions to be issued.

What is the most severe case of fraudulent

trading you have dealt with?

In a rare and particularly serious case, the rogue traders repeatedly returned and then bought the victim’s home. In most cases, if rogue traders believe that there is more money to be had, they return. In another example of a prosecution last year, someone paid £18,000 for only £1,500 of gardening. This resulted in prosecution and a suspended prison sentence. The person described the experience as ‘feeling like they had been burgled’.

What are the current emerging trends in fraudulent trading we should be aware of?

At the moment cleaning services (specifically pressurewashing driveways) are being frequently offered by rogue tradesmen. This is a service that does not seem to be targeted towards the vulnerable demographic; rogue tradespeople are doing test patches on people’s driveways (without their permission) to create an unsightly appearance, which consequently causes homeowners to feel pressured to pay up to a few hundred pounds to have the job completed.

Is there anything else that we should be aware of?

The public can sign up to receive trading alerts directly to their inbox and these highlight things to be mindful about as well as trends in fraudulent trading. See bromley.gov.uk/ scams. Reputable businesses can sign up to be approved by Bromley Council's Trading Standards at bromley.gov. uk/tradingstandardschecked, which allows them to receive verification as a Trading Standards’ checked business and receive a checked logo.

What happens once someone dials the rapid response number?

We react as quickly as possible. The police are called in a lot of cases where there may be a risk. If someone believes that there is a risk that they are being provided with a service under false pretences, this can sometimes develop into an investigation. The rapid response number is available every weekday from 9am-5pm.

What is the best part about your job?

I find it to be an incredibly positive and rewarding career as I get to send out messages that help people in our community, as safeguarding is such an important thing. Being a part of the community in this aspect is vital, and if you can be that neighbour or friend that helps someone avoid being targeted by fraudulent trading please do so.

Trading Standards Rapid Response team is available on 07903 852090.

what's on

community & CHARITY

Armistice: Why We Should Remember

Friday 11th November 7pm-9pm

Bromley Football Club, Hayes Ln, Bromley BR2 9EF

Cost: £5 (Pre booked only)

Tickets at: www.armistice.org.uk. More info at: hello@armistice.org.uk or call 0204 548 3000

Peter Whapshott, founder of Barbed Wired Tours and Ambassador for Care for Veterans, will be offering a one-off talk on Remembrance Day to raise money for Care for Veterans. Peter will be looking at why we should remember the Armistice, exploring a number of battles and the people who were active in them – and talking about some of your relatives who may have taken part. All ages welcome.

u3a Orpington

Third Monday of the month at 2pm

Crofton Main Hall, Orpington, BR6 8PR

Cost: £12 a year

Contact: Membersadmin@u3aorpington.org.uk or call 07732 005819

If you are retired or working part-time, why not join nearly 1,000 other members for access to over 95 different activities. Refreshments are provided.

CHRISTMAS

Christmas Fair Weekend

Saturday 19th November (11am-5pm)

Sunday 20th November (11am-4pm)

Greener & Cleaner Community Hub (upstairs in The Glades next to HMV and Waterstones).

Contact: greenerandcleaner.co.uk or email Christmasfair@greenerandcleaner.co.uk

Cost: Free

We’re holding free workshops for kids and adults to make Christmas crackers, baubles, paper cranes and practise Japanese fabric gift wrapping and more. There will also be displays to inspire a greener Christmas, Christmas jumpers and party outfit rails, plus face painting and handmade and preloved gems for sale. Music curated by long-time supporter and pop sensation, Gabriella Cilmi (Warm This Winter / Sweet About Me), who will also be there to help open the event! Other special guests expected!

Orpington Symphony Orchestra

Christmas Concert

7.30pm Saturday 3rd December

The venue: All Saints Church, Bark Hart Road, Orpington BR6 0QD

Cost: £10 adults, £5 children

Website: orpingtonsymphonyorchestra.co.uk

Tickets: ticketsource.co.uk/orpingtonso

Join Orpington Symphony Orchestra for for a sparkling Christmas concert

Conductor: Emily Singh.

Programme:

Your essential what's on guide for events, activities, clubs and much more in and around Orpington. There's something for everyone!

We’re looking to hear about your news, notices and local events! Email us at hello@lifeinmagazines.co.uk

Sibelius - Andante Festivo

Haydn - Trumpet Concerto (Soloist: Stone Tung)

Delius - Winter Night

Schubert - Symphony No. 4 in C minor, “Tragic”

libraries

Did you know that the borough’s libraries run a variety of events throughout the month?

Check their websites via www.better.org.uk/library/ london/bromley or call them for more information.

Orpington

Contact: 01689 831551 Email: Orpington.library@gll.org

Petts Wood

Contact: 01689 821607 Email: Pettswood.library@gll.org

Southborough Contact: 020 8467 0355 Email: southborough.library@gll.org

St Paul’s Cray

Contact: 0208 300 5454 Email: stpaulscray.library@gll.org

Health, fitness, mindset

Flin's Online & Live Fitness Classes

See website for class dates & times

Cost: PAYG £5 - £8 Contact Fran: 07976 412027 www.flinsfitness.co.uk Online streaming plus live offerings - 40+ classes a week, early mornings, mid mornings and evenings, including weekend classes. Outdoor Boot Camp, Circuits, Strength, Cardio, Pilates, Zumba, Yoga, Total Body Lite, Box Fit and more: fitness for all! Mornings at Westcombe Park RFC, evenings at Tubbenden School.

Juice of Barley Country Dance Club

1st and 3rd Thursdays of the month, 2-4pm Orpington Liberal Club, 7 Station Rd, Orpington, BR6 0RZ

Cost: £6 visitors, £5 members

Contact: Email janetmaile@rocketmail.com or call 01689 836407 See juiceofbarley.weebly.com for more information.

Country dancing for all. Come with a partner or on your own, you’ll be made very welcome. At each session we dance a selection of lively dances from 17th century onwards.

Mel Crisp Yoga

Monday at 9.30am and Wednesday at 9.45am (for 1 hour)

Orpington Village Hall

Hatha Yoga classes mixed ability and beginners welcome.

Tuesday evening 6.50pm

Christ Church URC, Petts Wood.

Vinyasa Flow Class mixed ability and beginners welcome.

Cost: PAYG £12, Block Payment Classes £60 for 6 consecutive classes. First PAYG class is half price. Contact: Mel on 07504 855 424. Email melcrisp41@icloud.com www.melcrispyoga.com

First class is free when mentioning Life In Orpington magazine

PB Dodgeball

Adult Social Dodgeball sessions, every Tuesday in Bromley

Tuesdays: 8.30pm - 10pm at Bromley College, Rookery Lane, Bromley, BR2 8HE

Cost: First session is free, then £6 per session with membership available

Contact: Email info@pbdodgeball.co.uk or call 07742136221. Also see www.pbdodgeball.co.uk, Facebook: @PBDodgeball Instagram: @pbdodgeball

Interested in trying a new sport? Want to meet new people while getting active? Join us for a friendly game of Social Dodgeball in Bromley. Come along for a free first session to give it a go and see what the sport is about!

what's on

Scottish Country Dancing Beginners’ Classes

Every Monday 8pm-10pm

The Meeting Room, Crofton Halls, York Rise, BR6 8PR

Cost: 1st taster lesson free, then £6 a lesson

Contact: Call 07751-303610 or see orpingtonscottishdancing.com

Classes cover the key steps and formations that will give you the skills to dance numerous Scottish dances. More experienced dancers are always willing to help guide you through a dance. No partner needed! Scottish dancing for fun, fitness & friendship!

Yoga Classes For All @Iyengar Yoga House

70 High Street, St Mary Cray, BR5 3NH

From November, Monday, Wednesday and Saturday

– Induction courses for beginners. Friday – active & fun sessions for children aged 7+. Friday morning - Gentle classes for 55+. Weekly classes for experienced yoga students & private sessions also available.

Cost: Induction course £45 (£9 per class), 1-hr classes £10, 1.5hrs £12 & 2hrs £15

Contact: Email info@iyengaryogahouse.com or ring 01689 451679. See iyengaryogahouse.com

We have classes throughout the week whether you are a beginner or have experience in Iyengar yoga! Get in touch for more info and to book your first class!

what's on

HOBBIES

Orpington Stamp & Postcard Fair, plus Auction

Saturday 19th November, 10am to 4pm

At Christ Lutheran Church Hall, 227 Poverest Road, Orpington, BR5 1RD

Cost: Free entry

Contact: Karen on 07864 264000

Are you interested in stamps and postcards? Do you have a childhood collection and want to resume this fun and interesting hobby or are you after that elusive missing stamp in your collection? Come along and have a look! PLUS: New for November, a stamp auction with many interesting lots!

MUSIC & entertainment

Into the Daylight – Jazz and Blues evening

Thursday 3rd November, 8pm - 11pm

Daylight Inn, Station Square, Petts Wood, BR5 1LZ

Cost: £5 admission (supporting Bromley Food Bank and Ukraine Appeal

Contact: 01689 877402. Book a table or walk in: www.thedaylightinn.co.uk

For details see www.greenchainquartet.com Jazz and Blues with the Green Chain Quartet plus special guests including Amanda Forbes, a compelling jazz and blues vocalist and Tansy Spinks, violin.

Orpington Keyboard Concert

29th November 2.30pm-5pm (doors open 2pm)

Crofton Halls, York Rise, Orpington, BR6 8PR

Cost: Entrance fees £10 for visitors, Members £8

Contact: Chairman John Parker, 07973 622905 or Secretary, 01689 837044 and Facebook page ‘Orpington Keyboard Club’, email johnparker2a@ gmail.com or see www.OrganFax.co.uk/clubs/ orpington

Our next Concert on 29th November features BRETT WALES playing the amazing WERSI “Sonic Orchestra; Fantastic Sounds! Fantastic Instrument!” Refreshments are available . This will be our last concert this year, so please come and bring a friend!

shout about your event...

A listing costs £15 or £60 for 6 months (£10 a month). Charities and non-profits are eligible for a 15% discount.

Life In...Orpington cannot be held responsible for any changes or cancellations of an event. We recommend you double check times, places & dates if attending an event listed.

NETWORKING

1230 The Women’s Company Orpington

1st Thursday of each month

La Scala, Orpington

12.30pm-2pm followed by open networking Non-members £28 and members £18. This includes a complimentary delicious lunch, plus any workshops and speakers.

Contact: Email jgroundsell@1230.co.uk or call 07930756012 / 020 8650 8015 https://1230.co.uk/calendar/

As a leading businesswomen’s network, we provide on and off-line trading and business growth opportunities across the UK and overseas at local level. Our dynamic networking business helps businesswomen make the connections and find the support needed in business –from meeting locally to share experiences, to working together to grow business through regular vibrant, buzzy networking meetings.t

theatre/ Performances

Churchill Theatre, Bromley

Contact: tickets@churchilltheatre.co.uk

Back into Hell

4th November, 7:30pm

Cost: £30

Let us take you Back Into Hell, where Rock and Roll dreams come true, with this two-hour extravaganza celebrating the iconic music of Meat Loaf and Jim Steinman. Join our world class musicians as they recreate such legendary anthems as Bat Out Of Hell, I’d Do Anything For Love and many more!

Ministry of Science Live!

5th November, 1pm

Cost: £19.50

Join our presenters as they dive deep into the world of science and look at how science shapes the modern world we live in with a few loud bangs along the way!

Tales From Acorn Wood

6th-7th November (Various times)

Cost: Tickets from £15.50

Julia Donaldson and Axel Scheffler’s beloved Tales from Acorn Wood stories are packed full of toe-tapping songs, puppetry, and all the friends from Acorn Wood. This beautiful show from the team that brought you Dear Zoo Live and Dear Santa promises to be the perfect treat for children of all ages.

NEXT BOOKING DEADLINE:

4TH NOVEMBER

To

Spaces

3488

allocated on a first come, first served

Local Heroes...

Ronnie Mitchell

Perry James nominated Ronnie Mitchell as a local hero for the work he does as Youth Support Worker Leader In Charge and his own experience with Ronnie helping him during childhood. Perry says: “I didn’t have many positive male role models growing up, but Ronnie was someone who helped me enormously. He was always there whenever I needed help or someone to talk to. I will always be grateful for how he helped me when I needed it the most.”

Congratulations on the nomination Ronnie. How does it feel to be nominated as a local hero?

I feel very flattered and humbly delighted. Wow - thank you Perry. It’s such a nice surprise!

Can you provide a bit of background about how you became involved in youth support in Bromley and why it’s important to you?

I used to work for a printer but I often saw kids smoking and drinking on local estates and I would have a word with them because I knew their parents. One day a youth worker, Ann Grenville, saw what I was doing and asked me if I’d ever thought of doing youth work and that was the start of it. Over a period of time she encouraged me as did other mentors like Kathy Wicks, Desa Wood, Charlotte MacLeod and Linda King. It’s important to me because it provides a meeting point for youngsters aged from eight to 19 and up to 25 for those with special needs.

What do you particularly love about your job?

Interacting with young people at various stages of their lives. Without a doubt, it’s rewarding especially when you turn that tear to a smile. I’ve also found it very rewarding helping youngsters, who’d previously felt intimidated, feel welcome at a youth club.

What does a typical working day for you look like?

Each club is different, depending on the social background. Children act differently according to what they’ve seen. But typically, I open the centre, check previous debrief notes and set up the equipment like table tennis, board games, arts and crafts and IT.

Have you been involved in anything else community-related locally?

I used to run a Duke of Edinburgh Award programme which helped to empower youngsters. We got some placed helping out in an OAP home – they even raised funds for doing up the garden - that’s community.

What does community mean to you?

It’s what the word says. Stick together and if someone is struggling, you help them. Little things like holding a door

open for someone. The media gives young people a bad press, but I often see them helping an elderly person with their shopping. Again, that’s community.

What are your future plans?

I’m hoping to get some of the older kids connecting with people over 60 so they can learn new skills, like a partnership with the “People in Sheds” programme. I’d like to empower some of the youngsters to look after the coffee bar in one of the centres so they can learn about responsibility and get some business skills. I have this vision that soon there could be at least three other people who could be ‘wearing my badge’. They are the future.

What do you most enjoy about living in the Bromley borough?

It’s central, it’s diverse. It’s green, with open spaces and the Green Chain Walk. You can go seven miles through woodland. I took some inner city youngsters to see it and they loved it.

What message would you like to give people reading this?

Never give up. We can all read a smile, and we can all read a frown. Let’s keep that smile.

A special ‘Thank You’ to Time For Flowers for sponsoring the bouquets and plants for our Local Heroes.

hello@lifeinmagazines.co.uk

Nominate a local hero – it could be a friend, neighbour, local business or a member of your family!

pull-out-and-keepMoney Special

Your guide to bossing the cost of living crisis

With price rises on everyone’s mind, we’ve put together this special pull-out-and-keep supplement on how to limit financial burdens and lessen costs across all areas of your life…

51 savvy ideas to recession-proof your life

1. Boil a kettle only with the quantity of water you’ll drink.

2. Do your own household DIY jobs if no real expertise is needed.

3. Keep a spare change jar and aim to add loose coins to it when possible.

4. Wash the car yourself.

5. Drink tap water rather than buy bottles.

6. Air dry all clothes - even towels and bedding.

7. Swap halogen bulbs for LED lights.

8. Do one big shop at the weekend, rather than loads of little shops.

9. Make snacks and bake cakes instead of buying them.

10. Grow your own fruit and vegetables.

11. Buy things like toilet roll, shampoo and deodorant in bulk.

12. Make and stick to a budget – including when you go food shopping.

13. Cook batches of meals for the whole week and freeze ahead.

14. Reuse wrapping paper or gift bags.

15. Buy rechargeable batteries.

16. Make recipes by only using ingredients you already have.

17. Cycle or walk instead of using the car or public transport.

18. Make do and mend your clothes.

19. Renovate old furniture by upcycling.

20. Unload the car before driving to avoid carrying excess weight.

21. Repair broken household appliances or get experts to help, especially with electrical products.

22. Clean with vinegar and water rather than expensive products.

23. Log all household spends to make you more mindful of your spending.

24. Use shampoo bars – they last longer and are more environmentally-friendly.

25. Don’t always assume you have to pay the asking price - haggle for a good deal.

26. Learn basic house maintenance instead of hiring help.

27. Hand down clothes between generations.

28. Use comparison sites to get the best deal on energy bills.

29. Buy frozen veg to cut down on food waste.

30. Beware vampire devices! Turn off devices on standby that drain energy.

£31. Always have a full load when you run your washing machine or dishwasher.

32. Put reflector sheets behind your radiators to help reduce energy loss.

33. Use draught excluders where possible.

34. Paying interest on a credit card? Transfer the debt to a 0% balance credit card.

35. Swap branded goods for supermarket alternatives.

36. Think ahead when going out – take a packed lunch or take snacks and your own travel mug for drinks.

37. Aim to have 'no spend' days in the month or a whole weekend.

Check the pressure of your car tyres to make sure levels are correct.

Cancel unnecessary subscriptions including app and TV subscriptions.

When shopping online check to see if they offer a deal such as signing up to the company's newsletter to receive a promo code or discount.

Reduce food waste by making a weekly meal planand stick to it.

Borrow rather than buy. The Hub in Bromley hosts Bromley’s Library of Things, where residents can affordably rent out useful items like pressure washers, carpet cleaners and sound systems.

Batch cook and keep extra meals in your freezer.

Use cashback websites when shopping online such as Quidco and Top Cashback.

Don't go food shopping when you're hungry.

Sell unwanted goods on places like Facebook Marketplace or eBay.

Try to negotiate with providers for a better deal - this includes mobile phones, home and car insurance.

Look for discount vouchers where possible – both on and offline.

Curb the expensive habits or lifestyle – drinking, smoking etc..

Carpool or share lifts to work.

Before you buy anything, always ask yourself if you really need it, rather than just want it.

pull-out-and-keep

Help on a local level

Bromley Well offers a variety of resources aimed at helping residents with the cost of living crisis online, from the benefits you may be entitled to and managing debt, to help with bills and managing mental health.

For more information see bromleywell.org. uk/our-services/cost-of-living

Setting boundaries with the cost of living crisis

by MICHELLE ELMAN

With rumours of inflation set to hit 20% by the end of the year, the nation is facing one of the biggest cost-of-living crises in history. Here, Michelle Elman offers advice on how setting boundaries can help to improve your wellbeing during these tough times…

The best way to set boundaries is to set them, no matter how clumsy or messy they are. Sometimes we focus so much on getting them right or perfect that we don’t try at all. We have to accept that setting boundaries, like every other skill, takes practice and time to perfect. The first time you set boundaries, you are unlikely to do it exactly as you would like but the most important part is that you do it anyway. Waiting until you feel confident or ready is a delay that will never have a resolution. Do it anyway and you will recognise that you are more powerful than your fear and there is only one way to improve. The best tip I can give to a beginner is that “less is more”. The more you say the more likely it will be interpreted as a discussion not a decision. When we don’t feel confident in our decisions, we overexplain and justify our decisions instead of stating our need simply.

Michelle Elman is a five-board accredited life coach, broadcaster and author.

Friday 25th November is Black Friday – an ideal opportunity for bargain hunters to nab some great deals in time for Christmas. Did you know that Black Friday was originally a shopping holiday in the US? However, with the e-commerce boom in recent years, it has become an international event. But remember – local businesses sometimes offer their versions of Black Friday deals, so please consider supporting local ahead of online shopping where possible.

5 thrifty tips on how to save on your energy bill by OLIVIA BRIDGEN

the switch!

Be more efficient with your laundry

Smart meters are actually SMART

Be smarter about water

Turn down the heat

pull-out-and-keep

Prioritise your bills the right way

If you’re struggling to keep up with demand, prioritising your bills in order of importance will help minimise the repercussions so you can get back on track as soon as possible say radiator specialists, Stelrad. Here’s their advice…

council issued bill, they are in a much stronger position to enforce payment so you should be sure to stay on top of these payments.

Electricity & gas

If you fall behind on electricity and gas payments, you may find your household supply cut off until you have repaid your debts. Before your supplier is able to leave you without gas or electricity, they must provide you with a written warning seven days prior which gives you the chance to pay or set up a payment plan.

Phone & internet

Rent or mortgage repayments

Your home should take number one priority, ensuring you have a roof over your head. Keeping up with your rent or mortgage payments will mean you don’t have to deal with the stressful prospect of an eviction, leaving you and your family in a difficult situation with little warning.

Council tax

Failure to pay your council tax bills can lead to serious repercussions. Your local council has the capability to take you to court and if they can prove that you are in a position to pay, it can lead to a prison sentence. Being a

Great tips to help heat your home - and yourself!

£ When you cook using the oven always leave the oven door open when you remove the food - it will help warm up the room.

£ Make your own draught excluder by stitching a long sausage shape and filing it with rice. You could make a smaller one to keep in your car dashboard too (this helps avoid condensation in the morning).

£ If you tend to stay in one room most of them time - only warm that room. Add an extra layer to keep you warm as well as a hot water bottle.

£

If you've got open chimneys consider installing a chimney balloon.

£ Move furniture away from radiators to allow heat to circulate and add radiator reflector foil.

£

If you are finding it hard to warm up, try doing ten minutes of exercise - you can follow a YouTube video, make up your own or just dance around. You’ll be warm in no time.

£ Wear layers rather than one thick jumper. Think a vest or thermal, then a t-shirt and a jumper on top. Add a gilet if you need to.

Failure to pay your phone or internet contract will mean your supplier is in a position to cut off your supply but this does not tend to be a main priority. Unless you are reliant on these services for medical conditions, work or safety reasons, getting these payments back on track following struggles with finances tends to be easier than with more crucial bills.

TV licence

Being the least of a necessity, your TV licence is not likely to be an essential service so cutting this off when you are struggling to pay bills is a recommended first step. However, if you continue watching live TV or streaming online TV services without a valid TV licence, you will be liable for a fine of up to £1,000.

3 useful money apps

1. Emma (Budget Planner

Tracker) - encourages you to get into better saving habits

2. Moneyhub - offers insights into your spending habits

3. Money Dashboardhelps manage all your accounts in one app and get to payday with cash left over

Did you know…?

Hard water households in London could save £676 a year on energy bills by installing a water softener in their home, new research from Harvey Water Softeners shows. People living in London – a predominantly hard water area – are more prone to limescale deposits building up within their heating system which cause blockages in pipework and boilers. This reduces the overall efficiency of a heating and plumbing system, resulting in higher water and energy bills.

Pets

What your dog’s sleeping position means

Sleeping positions for dogs can show off their personality, feature their numerous habits and indicate how secure they feel in the home. From the proud lion sleeper to the affectionate dogs looking for a cuddle, the experts at OnlineBedrooms.co.uk give us the lowdown on what the sleeping positions represent…

Laying on the back: Dog’s muscles are the most relaxed at this point and it’s a positive sign to show how they trust you and are fully comfortable in the home. When the legs are also in the air, it’s an easy way for them to keep cool.

The donut sleeper: One of the most common sleeping positions for dogs is to curl up in the donut position. This is a way for dogs to keep warm particularly during colder seasons, but it’s also a way to keep themselves protected when feeling slightly vulnerable.

Side sleeping: The most popular position for dogs to sleep and it’s a good thing. Typically, dogs sleeping this way feel comfortable in their surroundings and are more relaxed in the home. If their legs are extended too, it means they are getting a good night’s sleep.

Here’s Freya! I’ve taught her to give me a ‘high five’ to get a treat. She’s a friendly cat who loves sleeping on her high perch!

N Wright

lifestyle

Cuddling up: If you’re lucky to have two dogs cuddling

it’s usually a picturesque moment to ‘aww’ over with the family. This display of affection often means your dog is loving in nature and is bonding with their

The lion sleeper: A proud way for our four-legged friends to sleep, where the dog is lying on their front with their head resting on their paws. This means your dog is still relaxing their muscles, but is also on guard ready to jump back up. It’s good for a limited amount of time, but if it’s all throughout the night then they aren’t fully settled.

Blanket lover: If your dog is obsessed with burying themselves under blankets and toys, then they are simply looking for more ways to keep cosy and warm. But it’s also a strong sign that they’re seeking safety.

The flying pose: It’s a common sleeping position for puppies, but it’s consistent with many pets who are looking to play and have fun. In this position, they’re spread out with both arms and legs as if they’re ready to start flying. Dogs with energetic personalities typically sleep in this way as they’re still ready to get involved in some action.

Health & Fitness

by ELLA ATKINS

Do you have an over-active brain that never allows you to turn-off? Not everyone can embrace the stillness of yoga and meditation, making it difficult to wind down. Here are seven activities that reduce stress whilst still being active:

These activities allow your brain to focus on what you are doing in the moment, perfect for people who find themselves sitting in a yoga session unable to escape their thoughts.

Running

Running produces endorphins (natural painkillers), improves your ability to sleep and reduces stress levels. Studies have shown that vigorous cardio exercise (like running) also elevates and stabilises your mood whilst improving your self-esteem! The fatigue that running induces allows you to focus on what you are doing and is a wonderful way to distract from overthinking.

Martial arts

Practising martial arts provides an outlet for pent-up emotions, whilst reducing muscular tension and activating adrenaline release, which allows you to learn how to adapt better to high-stress situations. It also helps release endorphins, providing similar benefits to running.

Playing an instrument

Learning how to play an instrument promotes cognitive function and allows you to develop better communication

How to sneak more exercise into your daily life

As we get older, it is more important than ever to keep active to maintain our physical and mental health. People who have not taken part in any regular exercise for some time, or those with health issues, should seek medical advice before starting any new exercise or physical activity. Here are five simple ideas to get moving more…

skills, improve emotional release and reduce anxiety. It also stimulates the mind and requires concentration, allowing you to channel all your attention into the task.

Mountain-biking

Combining physical exercise, co-ordination and adrenaline release makes for a fantastic way to be present as focus is paramount - especially to avoid injury – so cycling/ mountain biking is ideal. Plus you also get the chance to socialise and spend time outdoors, both of which reduce the likelihood of depression and anxiety.

Cleaning

Though it’s a chore for many, cleaning is proven to reduce stress and anxiety and lessen the chance of depression. Having a clean environment can also provide people with mental clarity which can help boost the quality of your sleep.

Learn a language

Learning a language has been shown to provide you with an open, more positive mindset and hence reduce stress. The concentration skills and mental stimulation associated with learning a language can also provide similar benefits to playing an instrument.

Cooking or baking

Creating something in the kitchen allows you to fully immerse yourself in behavioural activation. By focussing on a series of small tasks (that you can indulge in!) cooking or baking helps boost serotonin levels and reduces stress as a consequence.

1. Rise and shine Before you pop the kettle on, do some gentle stretches and get those muscles moving.

2. Take the scenic route Walk instead of driving; take the stairs instead of the lift, get off the bus a stop earlier than usual.

3. Take advantage of stationary time Whenever you’re in a queue or waiting for public transport, use it as an opportunity to move your body.

4. Walk the dog Don’t have a dog? Ask a friend or family member to be your walking buddy.

5. Work out around the house Doing housework can be a great way to burn more calories. Pop on your favourite music and dance through your house as you clean.

Home Instead runs regular Love to Move sessions which are specially designed to get older people moving and functioning better. To find out more call 020-3828 6473.

Relationships

HOW TO CREATE POSITIVE RELATIONSHIPS

by ANNE JONES, author of ‘How to Heal’

Your thoughts are energy streams and constant thoughts create links to the people you spend time with. If your relationship is loving, then the cord that connects you will be vibrant and strong. However, if a friend or family member is too demanding, needy or overwhelming they will be stealing your energy and the cord between you will be heavy and toxic.

What can you do? If you want to change the status of your relationship you need to start with an intention to transform the energy that flows between you.

Clearing the toxic energies

Here are simple steps that can help clear the toxic energy that flows between you and someone close and can also release you from their attitudes and behaviour:

1. Write down the name of the person.

2. Hold the intention to clear the air between you, let bygones be bygones and forgive.

3. Cut a length of thread to represent the cord that connects you.

4. Release the negative energy in the cord by saying, “I send love and forgiveness to clear the cord between (name) and myself. I set myself free, now right now, right now” and break or cut the cord.

5. Complete by sending healing into the cord. You can use Reiki or this symbol (below) which will invoke light

and healing energy streams that flow through your hands. Draw the symbol, with your hands, three times in the air then place your hands on the name of the person.

New relationships

There can be several reasons why you’re struggling to find a loving partner. If you’ve been hurt and abused in a previous relationship you’ll need to heal the wounds and imprints to your heart. You also need to bring down any barriers you have put up yourself. Here are some basic steps you can take that will help you free yourself and clear barriers to new love:

• Clear any old cords that may still be attaching you to past love.

• Release any redundant vows by saying “I clear and release myself from all vows and contracts I wish to dissolve, now, right now, right now.”

• Set your intention to be open to love by placing your hands together in front of your heart centre (in the middle of your chest). Open them slowly and deliberately three times and say, “I open my heart to receive love, now, right now, right now.”

You can find more healing symbols and exercises in Anne’s book and on her website at annejones.org

11 QUESTIONS YOU SHOULD ASK YOUR PARENTS

According to a survey by StoryTerrace, 45% of people say they’ve learned more about their parents’ lives from external sources and physical items, rather than from speaking to them. So to encourage conversations to flow, the company’s CEO and Founder, Rutger Bruining, has compiled a list of questions to help us understand the people who raised us on a deeper level…

What did you want to be when you were growing up?

Who was your best friend? Where are they now?

What was the most rebellious thing you ever did as a teenager or young adult?

Do you think you chose the right career path? Do you have any regrets?

How did you meet the love of your life, and when did you know they were the one for you?

What kind of parent did you think you would be, and how does that compare to the kind of parent you actually were?

What did you find was the most difficult aspect of raising children? Is there anything you would have done differently?

What advice would you give me now?

Do you see any of yourself in me?

Do you think we could be closer? What would you change about our relationship now?

Is there anything you want to ask me?

Eco News lifestyle

TAKE THE CLIMATE GUILT OUT OF YOUR HOLIDAY

by OLIVIA BRIDGEN

The pandemic scuppered international travel for many of us, and understandably most of us have been desperate to get away at the first opportunity. However, with the climate crisis a growing consideration, OLIO’s co-founder Tessa Clarke shares her top tips for holidaying as sustainably as possible.

1. When you’re choosing your holiday, consider where you’re going to travel to and how you’ll get there. The average carbon footprint in the UK is over ten tonnes per person, per year, and we need to get this down to two-and-a-half tonnes by 2030 for global heating to remain within 1.5 degrees. Unfortunately, one of the most carbon intensive things we can do is hop on a plane. A return flight to Rome is 1/4 tonne, to New York is one tonne and to Perth is three tonnes. Maybe consider train or ferry travel instead if possible.

2. Suncream is a must-have, but consider buying coralfriendly suncream so that the harmful chemicals do not bleach the sea’s precious reef builders.

3. Before you go, make sure that you share any food you have in the house that you won’t be able to use. If you

can’t give it to a family member or a neighbour, consider sharing it on the OLIO app, which is easy to use and the majority of food listings are requested in less than half an hour.

4. Take reusable water bottles with you. Most countries in the EU have safe drinking water, so you can fill up in your apartment or hotel which is better for the environment and your pocket. It’s estimated that around 8m metric tonnes of plastic ends up in the sea, and it takes 450 years for every plastic bottle to decompose - let’s not be part of the problem. I recommend the Grayl water bottle which filters pretty much everything from any fresh water source, and I estimate it has saved at least 500 plastic bottles since I bought it.

5. Don’t be tempted to buy everything you need for your holiday brand-new. As the saying goes, the most climate-friendly fashion is the outfit you already have in your wardrobe. The same goes for buckets and spades, towels and everything else you might need. If there are some items you want but don’t have - like inflatables for the kids or camping equipment, consider trying to source them second hand or borrow them from a library of things or the OLIO app.

KEEPING AN EYE ON FOODBANKS

The Greener & Cleaner Christmas Fair Weekend is planned for Saturday 19th November (11am-5pm) and 20th November (11am-4pm) at the Greener & Cleaner Community Hub (upstairs in The Glades next to HMV and Waterstones). There will be handmade and preloved gems for sale, free workshops for kids and adults to make Christmas crackers, baubles, paper cranes and practise Japanese fabric gift wrapping and more. There will also be displays to inspire a greener Christmas, Christmas jumpers and party outfit rails plus face painting. It’s free to attend and take part!

details see greenerandcleaner.co.uk or email Christmasfair@greenerandcleaner.co.uk

Did you know that BanktheFood’s free app sends shoppers a list of urgently needed items from their local food bank?

Here are their top tips for donating to foodbanks:

1 Always check the use by dates –foodbanks cannot distribute food that is out of date.

Packaging must be in good condition, unopened and undamaged.

Foodbanks often need non-food items too, such as deodorant, nappies, sanitary products and pet food.

Find out what your local foodbank is most in need of –which helps reduce the need for storage.

Foodbanks need long lasting store cupboard food and to be able to offer foods not reliant on using an oven. Ideal things to donate include rice and pasta, lentils and pulses, tinned foods, dehydrated foods such as Pot Noodles or Super Noodles, dried fruit, UHT and powdered milk, cereal, biscuits, tea and coffee, and spreads (marmite, honey, jam, peanut butter).

lifestyle

Business

How to improve your home office space

With news that UK workers are going into the office an average of one-and-a-half days a week, it’s no surprise that searches for 'garden office ideas' have spiked 78% according to Google Trends data. The CEO of Crown Pavilions, Luke Dejahang, shares some tips on how you can improve your home office space…

Have a designated space

When you never leave your house, and your bed is only steps away, mentally leaving ‘home mode’ and entering ‘work mode’ can be difficult. If budgets allow, garden offices are great investments and could add value to your home. The average home office extension could increase your property price by 8.4% (around £20,000 for the average UK home).

The Bromley Business Network was set up in 2019 with four founding members. This month we chat with Susan Wright from The Wright VA...

Q1: What first attracted you into becoming a founding member of BBN?

Upgrade your lighting

The quality and productivity of our lives can be significantly affected by the lighting in our surroundings. Natural light is the best lighting for productivity. Research on the effect of sunlight on employees' mental health, productivity and job satisfaction found that sunlight had a direct positive impact on these factors.

Get some greenery

House plants help purify the air in your home. A neon pothos is great for hanging basket plants because it adds a bright pop of green to the bleakest of places. Otherwise, consider snake plants as their leaves filter formaldehyde and other toxins.

How to…choose a name for your business

by Philip Bacon, founder of Bacon Marketing

I was asked if I wanted to help with the admin and being a natural organiser and a helper, the role was right up my street so it was a no brainer to say yes. Q2: What’s your role – and some of your regular duties? My role is mainly behind the scenes and is very varied. I set up and send out emails notifying 250+ people of the upcoming meeting and collate those booked in so we know who’s turning up. I run the Zoom side of things during the meetings as well as liaising with the presenters and check over their presentations ahead of the meeting. I monitor the hello@bromleybusinessnetwork.co.uk email account so respond to any incoming emails and I keep the website updated with current member details and administer our WhatsApp group chat which can get a bit lively on occasions!

Q3: Did you envisage BBN becoming as successful as it is today?

I knew the meeting would be a success due to the diverse and supportive group that attend, and that has continued and more so after Covid. I think, being a hybrid meeting (where we have attendees joining via Zoom as well as those in the room) is a major factor in the success as businesses can join the meetings easily if they’re unable to get to the meetings at Bromley Football Club in person.

Q4: What makes a great networking event? The attendees enjoying themselves and business being passed around the room.

Q5: What’s your top networking tip? Turn up regularly don’t dip in and out. People do business with people they get to know, like and ultimately trust. The way to build those relationships is to turn up to every meeting.

Q6: When you’re not busy working or helping organise BBN, what do you get up to in your spare time? I don’t seem to have much spare time these days, but I do make time to play netball and korfball for local teams as well as enjoying bird watching when I need to do something at a slower pace, and ‘Fizz on Friday’ is a permanent feature on the calendar celebrating all the little wins of running a business.

WHO ARE YOU? Start by writing down exactly what you do and who you do this for, i.e. product and consumers. This helps to define who you are as a business.

MOVE THINGS AROUND Take what you've written down and move the words around, looking at word combinations that nail down who you are.

FEEDBACK TIME Once you’ve established a few potential names, get feedback from people you know, trust and respect.

DOES IT MATCH? Make sure that your business name matches your business personality

CHECK IT Using your list of potential names check to see if the following are available: The .com and .co.uk domain names; the whole company name as a hashtag; the company name or a shortened version of it, in the same format on all social channels

THINK TIMELESS Pick a name that is likely to remain timeless - you don’t want to be renaming and rebranding every couple of years.

AVOID LEGAL ISSUES Before committing to a name, check for any potential for trademark infringement or copyright protection.

Denver from Unflatpack has been building

since he was ten years old.

Home & Garden

UNFLATPACK

If you’re looking for high quality, fully fitted wardrobes at a fraction of the cost you’d expect to pay with national high street retailers, Unflatpack can help.

Established in 2015, Unflatpack are pioneers of the customisation of IKEA® furniture. After consulting with their independent, experienced team, they will help you select the most suitable furniture to meet your needs and work with you to develop a fully integrated, custom design. We selected IKEA® Pax wardrobes, which are extremely popular with many of their client base, as this also affords maximum flexibility for the internal configuration of the storage space. The team then then adapt the selected furniture to suit your room’s layout.

Your home electrical check

by

Do you get an MOT for your car? It’s nice to know that your vehicle is safe to drive, right? But when was the last time you had a full check of your electrical system within your home?

The process is called an EICR (Electrical Installation Condition Report) also known as - Homebuyers electrical check - Landlords certificate - Periodic inspection or just an MOT for your electrical system. This is a vital and important assessment of your electrical installation to report on whether your electrical system is safe for continued use, where improvements can be made and recommendations on safety upgrades. These checks, reports and potential upgrades massively reduce the risk of electric shock and electric related fires within the home. Whether you are a landlord, a homebuyer or a homeowner concerned about old or substandard electrics around the home, an EICR is a great starting point to understand the current state of your electrical installation. For details see hale-electrics.co.uk

The installation: We opted for the ‘Premium Look’ which meant that the unsightly factory shelf peg holes inside the wardrobe were covered, so that our PAX wardrobes had a flawless sleek white finish inside and out. The whole job takes between six-eight hours.

The results: We were thrilled with the final finish –Unflatpack even takes care of things like coving and skirting boards to make sure it’s all fully fitted and looking slick.

Good to know: The installers can adapt the height and width of the wardrobes to perfectly fit your space. They also do over-wardrobe storage if you have high Victorian ceilings and can customise to allow for sloped ceilings, eaves, pipes, etc…nothing seems too much for these guys to handle. They cover most of the South of England from Birmingham downwards out to Bristol, Brighton and Medway towns. For details see unflatpack.com or call 020-3874 2115.

Just for you: Life In…Magazines has bagged a special offer for readers. Quote UFP-LIM for up to 50% off the ‘Premium look’ service.

Autumn proof your garden

The gardening experts at Polhill have got some fab tips and tricks to prepare your garden this autumn as we head to much cooler times…

Cut your lawn: Aim to get your lawn cut before the cold and damp weather sets in.

Protect your plants: If you have any plants that are vulnerable to harsh weather conditions, bring them indoors.

Pack away seasonal garden items: Pack away seasonal items like barbecues and outdoor furniture to prevent them from becoming weather damaged. If you don’t have the space or option to move them into storage, ensure they are properly covered.

Protect your tap: It’s worth removing your garden hose from the outdoor tap and shutting it off. Not doing this could result in it freezing and getting damaged by the expanding ice. If you have a zinc watering can, this could also become damaged by ice. Try placing this upside down so no water can get inside.

Check your tools: Check whether your hedge clippers, lawnmower blades and secateurs need sharpening. Oil any blades and store them away, as you won't need them until March. When storing them, make sure your shed is watertight to prevent any kind of damp or water getting in and affecting your tools.

Food & Drink

FOODS AND BEVERAGES YOU DIDN'T KNOW MADE YOU LETHARGIC

New research by nutrition and lifestyle experts, yfood has revealed that 37% of the nation says that their energy levels are the lowest they have ever been. Here’s a list of the worst culprits for draining energy – give them a wide berth if you want to up your energy levels!

White bread, pasta & rice

Processed grains contain fewer nutrients and may spike blood sugar levels, both of which can drain your energy levels. Replacing them with whole-grain alternatives can provide your body with more nutrients and prevent energy peaks and crashes.

Breakfast cereals, yoghurts & other foods with added sugars

Many breakfast cereals fail to deliver the expected energysustaining start to the day. Foods to avoid (as they contain

REVIEWING THE BOROUGH’S BRUNCH VENUES

In the first of a series of reviews, we adopt a new take on ‘Ladies What Lunch’ and head out for brunch to give you the head’s up on places to try. This month we checked out Eat Well in Beckenham High Street…

high levels of added sugars) include flavoured yogurts, juices, muffins, granola bars and even some types of bread.

Coffee

Ingesting caffeine too late in the day can negatively affect the quality of your sleep which reduces your energy levels over time.

Fried & fast foods

Fried and fast foods can drain your energy. That’s because they are generally high in fat and low in fibre, two factors that can slow down your digestion.

Alcohol

Consuming high volumes of alcohol causes long-term disruptions to your sleeping pattern. Despite the short-term drowsiness, high alcohol consumption typically results in poorer quality of sleep, meaning you wake up the next morning feeling less rested.

First Impressions: Easy to find next to Sainsbury's. The seating area looked clean and tidy and there was plenty of room. We were warmly greeted and seated immediately.

On the menu: You'll find a variety of healthy options that are tailored to meet the needs of dietary restrictions (vegan, gluten free, etc).

Ambience: The atmosphere was pleasant and the artwork on the walls was interesting. On arrival, it was pretty quiet but became noisier around lunchtime.

Food: The food was great, however the scrambled egg on the smashed avocado was more omelette-like.

Service: Great service and they were happy to leave us chatting after we ate - they didn't pressure us to leave.

Services/facilities: Small restroom open to diners all on the same level (no stairs).

Value for money: A little pricey but offers a wide variety of food and beverage options.

Overall rating: (out of

Did you know...

The world’s most expensive restaurant meal can be found at the Sublimotion at the Hard Rock Hotel in Ibiza and costs £1,746.77. The 20-course Mediterranean banquet features VR tech and immersive film projections, taking guests on a journey through different times, places, and stages of emotion over three hours.

Life Hacks

YOUR OPTIONS WHEN YOU NEED HELP WITH A LEGAL MATTER

by AMANDA HAMILTON, CEO, National Association of Licensed Paralegals (NALP) - nationalparalegals.co.uk

When we have incidents at home, such as a leaky pipe or electrical fault, we call a plumber or electrician, often based on referrals from friends or neighbours. However, with legal matters, most of us are not knowledgeable about whom to turn to.

Individuals generally think of going to a solicitor for help, but where do you find the appropriate person? And can you afford the fees? You can locate solicitors via the register on the Solicitors’ Regulation Authority (SRA) website. Solicitors charge between £250 -£500 per hour.

Free assistance

If you can’t afford a solicitor’s fees, then you should look elsewhere. For example, there could be free legal assistance included with your house or car insurance and it will be a question of whether or not the legal assistance insurance element covers what you need.

Licensed paralegals

Another less costly avenue is to find a licensed paralegal. While paralegals aren’t solicitors and the paralegal sector is not regulated in the same way as solicitors, they are nevertheless trained and educated in law, legal practice and procedures. Search the National Paralegal Register. Generally, they charge an acceptable hourly rate (£30£80 per hour depending on what work is required).

Please make sure that you check their credentials to

No more bad hair days

Fed up of wispy, unruly

REHAB’s ‘The Hair Tamer’ could be what you’re looking for. Specially designed with anti-frizz gel, the product slicks locks whilst holding down any troublesome flyaways. It’s 100% vegan and cruelty free and is available for £18 from rehabyourhair.com

ensure they are affiliated with an appropriate membership organisation such as NALP (National Association of Licensed Paralegals). Paralegals cannot undertake what are called ‘reserved activities’ e.g. applying for a grant of probate (though they can guide client executors through the process), so do clarify that they can undertake the work you need.

Pro-bono units

In addition, there are ‘pro-bono’ units. These can be found all around the country and are made up of legal professionals (solicitors, barristers, paralegals) who offer their services for free. Citizens Advice Bureaux and legal centres are also included amongst these.

Barristers

Another way to reduce costs if the necessity of going to court is imminent, is to instruct a barrister directly. Barristers are the specialist advocates so they will be able to give you a really good assessment of the merit or otherwise of your case, and they can appear in court if necessary to represent you. Traditionally, barristers could only be instructed by solicitors but now, consumers can go directly to a barrister as long as they are registered as public access or direct access barristers. It is just a question of searching online and finding pages of barristers to suit the circumstances. Barristers generally charge from £150 - £300 per hour for a junior and £350 - £600 per hour for a senior.

Mediation

Before any dispute gets too far, you may like to consider mediation. Professional mediators assist and guide parties to reach a resolution (there may be a fee but it’ll be far less costly than going to court).

Finally, there is a website called ‘Legal Choices’ which clearly sets out the type of lawyers both regulated and unregulated, what work they can assist you with and how to make an informed choice.

Fab idea!

Line the base of your kitchen bin with old newspaper to help absorb food juices.

have that

Short Story

by GLYNIS WATKINS

It was the cold Esme remembered - and then fear, in all its forms.

But first the cold; the unlit, unheated train that shuffled its way across England like a wheezing old man, with people slumped everywhere, deeply asleep. As some got off, mothers took their place and fell asleep too. Barely noticing her fellow passengers’ occasional attempts to catch her eye, she huddled in her seat, shivering with cold and fear.

“Please God, please God”, she whispered every time the train threatened to stop or lingered too long at a station. She felt it was only her force of will that kept the train going. But what was she praying about or to whom?

“Please God....” It had to be worth it, the planning, the deceit, and always the terrible fear that it would be too late. Esme remembered her mother-in-law’s face that morning as she left – had this bitter war widow with an only son, already a soldier, and a daughter-in-law she mistrusted guessed? At the station the crowds pushed and propelled each other onto the train. A young soldier gave Esme his seat but she barely acknowledged him except for a watery smile.

How long had she known the man she was about to leave everything for? Months, weeks? The precious hours when he got leave, the short phone calls (always someone waiting), wonderful letters she read and then hid - what did it all add up to?

“Next stop Lincoln”, the guard announced. The young airman, who’d slept the whole journey with his head on Esme’s shoulder, stretched and pulled his luggage down, as the rest of the train yawned and prepared to leave.

Everyone seemed to know where they were going - cars and bikes rattled into service. Esme stood on the platform, her breath taken by the force of the arctic Lincolnshire wind, feeling utterly alone as the platform emptied.

She became aware of a low droning sound that grew to a

crescendo. The grey watery Lincoln sky was suddenly full of heavy planes climbing steadily. Despite the cold and fear, Esme felt exhilarated as the sound and power of the planes surrounded her and swept on, just as he’d described. And there he was, running towards her, waving, smiling. “Sorry I’m late, darling.” It didn't matter, he was here and all was well.

He’d rented a tiny, primitive cottage on the edge of a village - it felt as though it was opening its arms to protect them from the endlessly rumbling, circling planes. It gave them time to commit to each other, whatever the future. On the last night, they sat quietly curled up in front of the fire.

“I shall be off early tomorrow,” he said. “I’m getting a lift, so promise you won’t wake up.”

Esme promised but was acutely aware of every sound the next morning, from the stuttering little car to the shutting of the front door. She flew to the window and glimpsed the taillight of the car as it disappeared.

And then she saw his footprints - it had snowed lightly, his footprints stood out blackly where he’d climbed up to the road. Suddenly she realised that they could disappear, this might be all she had left of him. She lay frozen and sobbing on the bed for what felt like hours.

It was the sound of planes that roused her - amongst them he was there, the most precious person in her life, flying into mortal danger. Standing in the garden, watching the planes go, she waved and waved unaware of anything but him.

“Please God.....”

That night a full moon etched the footprints as a hoar frost descended. Esme sat rigid by the window, every part of her straining to hear the sound of planes, limping, stuttering home.

“Please God…”

A Final Thought…

Children’s mental health is wealth

by CANDY FUNG

Children’s mental health is often a topic of conversation for people. Did you know that one in six young people has a probable mental health condition? That’s five children in a typical UK classroom! Prevention is better than cure.

Do you ever wonder why your child lacks confidence? It is not unknown for parents to favour one child. My exhusband used to favour one child. The other one was often told ‘No!’; ‘You’re stupid’; ‘Don’t do that’; ‘ How can you not read?’… the list goes on. As they got older, showing more affection for one boy was obvious. I tried so many strategies to boost my son’s confidence, but only got temporary results. I needed help, my son needed more help, but I didn’t know what or how. It turned out that he bottled up everything that people had said to him.

It wasn’t until I saw the transformation in a friend’s daughter over time that I mentioned it to them and they told me “It’s that kids’ life coach she’s been seeing.” That was a light bulb moment for me; that’s what I needed for my son. After five coaching

sessions, my then nine-year old son was able to change his mindset, he was able to control his emotions and actions more confidently.

I had to have that dreaded talk with my ex-husband. I reminded him of all the things he had said to our son and gave him examples of times when he had put him down. The response I got was “Don’t be silly, he’s too young to remember anything. I didn’t mean the things I said and anyway, he should do better then.”

When my son returned from a weekend with his dad, he told me: “Daddy said sorry for all the times he said all the bad things to me.”

“OK, how did it make you feel?” was all I could say. “But Mummy, he’s five years too late” was the answer I got as he counted on his fingers. That confirmed it for me that children really do remember and bottle up how people make them feel by what they say or do.

My teenage son reminded me recently “Remember I never used to believe in myself? I do now. I really have to put my mind to something to achieve it.” He is no longer scared of failing because he knows that he can learn from failure. He knows what he wants, and he is able to figure out problems on his own. I love how he doesn’t care what anyone else thinks. He has an attitude of gratitude and is so happy knowing it’s OK to express his feelings so that people will know exactly how he feels rather than bottling it up. He has become a confident leader of his own life and is much more resilient as a result.

It's OK to not be OK

Parents who struggle to boost their child’s confidence know that there is help out there for their children to become confident leaders, particularly when practical tools are given to them to make their choices easier through life’s ups and downs.

Anyone that can relate to this - know that you are not alone as much as it sometimes feels like you are. I often speak to people and can see the same kind of behaviour in parents and their children. I’m so glad I was the proactive mum who sought professional help as I couldn’t have done it on my own.

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