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Love and democracy take work
L
ove and democracy are two of the hardest things in life to practice. Certainly, they don’t get any easier with age. And yet we keep fighting for democracy and extending our hearts to love. What’s so difficult about practicing love and democracy? Practicing is the keyword here, not just believing. If you’re like me and grew up believing that love comes naturally, it’s been quite an adjustment. I thought loving someone was like Ozzie and Harriet—funny and kind, and it just happened when two people fell in love. Democracy also makes bold claims such as equal rights and justice for all, as if those are givens. I don’t think so. Both loving others and democracy take work. To love someone—and to give those around us the democratic right to their own beliefs—can make us feel unsafe. In love, we know the risks and reality of being hurt. To practice democracy, we have to hold back our own feelings of fear and anger (even hatred) when those we vehemently disagree with express their views. Even when we feel threatened, we have to find a way to live with it. The values behind love and democracy are sometimes very difficult to live up to. “Love is patient, love is kind...Love keeps no record of wrongs.” Hmmm. Does that mean if we’re to be loving, we don’t hold grudges? Another tall order. Being loving doesn’t always bring about a loving response. Also, just because we don’t condemn another for his or her views doesn’t mean
LIVING WITH UNFAIRNESS IS PART OF THE CHALLENGE OF DEMOCRACY. someone won’t condemn us for ours. It’s not fair, but living with unfairness is part of the challenge of democracy. In both love and democracy, each vote counts. Majority rules, but who’s the majority in a couple? Both people are. To give up the idea of “one right answer” and the illusion of “winning” allows us to respect each other’s rights to their opinions: where to eat, what movie to see, who to vote for and even how to hang a picture. When we practice love and democracy, we recognize that conformity doesn’t trump diversity. If we differ from the majority of people, our constitution says we can say our piece anyway. Maybe part of what keeps us believing in love and democracy is that more than one idea can lead to better solutions. In relationships, as in democracy, listening to and showing respect for each other’s suggestions increases trust. Trust is an asset for the future. Despite the challenges of practicing love and democracy, we must remain steadfast in both. Both are imperfect states of being, no matter how hard we try. Both are great dreams with high ideals. Without love, life is barren. Without democracy, we lose our liberty. Love and democracy are both worth fighting for. ■
CLOSE CONNECTIONS BY NANCY NORMAN Nancy is a licensed clinical social worker. Send your questions to her in care of Life After 50, or email her directly at jmediaate@aol.com
534
810
Hurry In, Your New Home Awaits You!
1-Bedroom $534 to $810
534 700 square feet with810 Full Size Washer/Dryer Hook-ups
6342-Bedroom 902 $634 to $902
634 785 square feet with 902 Full Size Washer/Dryer Hook-ups
•Independent living for adults 55 years and over •Elevators and indoor mail boxes •Fully equipped kitchens •Easy clean European style cabinetry •Full size washer-dryer connections in every home •Controlled access entry with intercom •Emergency call system •Individual hot water, furnace and central air •Off street parking •Beautiful community rooms •Resident lounge •On-site manager - 24 hour emergency maintenance •Transportation and wellness services available LEASING INFORMATION: Phone 719-635-4832 719-634-5641 Toll Free 1-888-298-0888 In Partnership with: The Housing Authority of the City of Colorado Springs Professionally managed by Beacon Management, LLC www.beacon.cc
We Accept Housing Choice Vouchers. Our leasing office is open at 725 South Weber St. Colorado Springs, CO 80903 WWW.LAFIFTY.COM | DECEMBER 2020 | CLOSE CONNECTIONS
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