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Love and democracy take work

Love and democracy are two of the hardest things in life to practice. Certainly, they don’t get any easier with age. And yet we keep fighting for democracy and extending our hearts to love.

What’s so difficult about practicing love and democracy? Practicing is the keyword here, not just believing.

If you’re like me and grew up believing that love comes naturally, it’s been quite an adjustment. I thought loving someone was like Ozzie and Harriet—funny and kind, and it just happened when two people fell in love. Democracy also makes bold claims such as equal rights and justice for all, as if those are givens. I don’t think so. Both loving others and democracy take work.

To love someone—and to give those around us the democratic right to their own beliefs—can make us feel unsafe. In love, we know the risks and reality of being hurt. To practice democracy, we have to hold back our own feelings of fear and anger (even hatred) when those we vehemently disagree with express their views. Even when we feel threatened, we have to find a way to live with it.

The values behind love and democracy are sometimes very difficult to live up to. “Love is patient, love is kind...Love keeps no record of wrongs.” Hmmm. Does that mean if we’re to be loving, we don’t hold grudges? Another tall order.

Being loving doesn’t always bring about a loving response. Also, just because we don’t condemn another for his or her views doesn’t mean

LIVING WITH UNFAIRNESS IS PART OF THE CHALLENGE OF DEMOCRACY.

someone won’t condemn us for ours. It’s not fair, but living with unfairness is part of the challenge of democracy.

In both love and democracy, each vote counts. Majority rules, but who’s the majority in a couple? 534 810 Both people are. To give up the idea of “one right answer” and the illusion of “winning” allows us to respect each other’s rights to their opinions: where to eat, what movie to see, who to vote for and even how to hang a picture.

When we practice love and democracy, we recognize that conformity doesn’t trump diversity. If we differ from the majority of people, our constitution says we can say our piece anyway. Maybe part of what keeps us believing in love and democracy is that more than one idea can lead to better solutions. In relationships, as in democracy, listening to and showing respect for each other’s suggestions increases trust. Trust is an asset for the future.

Despite the challenges of practicing love and democracy, we must remain steadfast in both. Both are imperfect states of being, no matter how hard we try. Both are great dreams with high ideals. Without love, life is barren. Without democracy, we lose our liberty. Love and democracy are both worth fighting for. ■

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How to care for trees in the high desert

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Dear Ms. Paige: You gave me a wonderful birthday gift when I saw your article in October’s issue. Where I live, rocks and stones are normal and gardening is minimal. Three and half years ago, I planted an autumn blaze maple tree and a silver maple. A few weeks ago, I purchased two 1.5-cubic foot bags of NatureScapes and spread each tree with one bag. Then, when I read your article, I think I put too much around each tree. Do I take away some of the mulch? Do I turn it each year? My water bill said last year to water every three months. Usually, I water for 3-4 minutes. Is that enough?

Sincerely, Janet

Thanks for writing in, Janet! I’m glad I had the honor of giving you a birthday gift, one gardener to another. Tree care in the high desert has been an interesting topic to research, and your questions lead my curious mind in a few different directions. I hope you enjoy this article and find my response helpful!

MAPLE TREES Maple trees: Commonly, maple trees aren’t native to Colorado, although the Bigtooth maple grows in western canyons and on stream banks and hillsides. The silver maple is a common landscape tree but performs poorly in the heavy alkaline (high pH) clay soils of the high desert, and is often plagued by iron chlorosis—yellowing of leaves caused by iron deficiency. Autumn Blaze maple, a hybrid between red and silver maples, suffers from some iron chlorosis, too.

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4 Hour Minimum Not valid with Any Other Discount 4 Hour Minimum Not valid with Any Other Discount MULCH You can keep your maples healthy with the right fertilizer. A soil test will help you determine what you need, though if the maple’s leaves are yellowing, it’s a sign that either the soil is too compact (and so the tree is getting overwatered) or there’s a lack of soluble nutrients— probably iron.

Mulching with organic matter helps to build soil, protect the tree’s roots, regulate soil temperatures throughout winter and, over time, decomposes and provides nutrients. Compost is always a good idea. You can mix it into your mulch or add a layer of compost first with a layer of mulch on top of it.

Spread the mulch out at least two feet from the trunk to create a 2-4-inch layer—do not pile it up against the trunk. Mulch around trees and other perennials gradually decomposes and doesn’t need to be turned after plants are planted and established. Renew the mulch when the layer gets thin: gently rake the decomposing layer to make way for fresh air and water, check for signs of fungal disease and see how deep the layer is before adding a thin layer of fresh mulch.

WATER How much you water depends largely on your soil. Clay soils tend to retain water, which is why compost and organic matter are so beneficial to our high desert garden ecosystems.

Maple trees are dormant in winter and don’t need to be watered as frequently as during their growing season, if at all, depending on snow.

The best way to water any tree is slow and deep. Ideally, apply a slow trickle at the tree’s base for several hours rather than a more frequent, heavy, short soaking. During the growing season, you can determine whether or not to water maple trees by digging down about four inches into the soil next to the tree. If the soil is wet at this depth, do not water; if the soil is dry, water.

You can also observe the leaves.

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