Get Griefy Magazine | Q2 2024

Editor-In-Chief, Writer, CEO and Founder

Kera Sanchez

Contributors for Q2

Tori Knudsen

Kimberly Koland

Lenore Matthew

Amanda McKoy Flanagan

Maggie Merryday

Nina Rodriguez

Emily Tanner

Liz Quinn

Disclaimer:

GET GRIEFY

The content presented in this magazine is intended for informational and educational purposes only. The topics discussed, including death and dying, are sensitive and subjective in nature. The information provided is not a substitute for professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Readers are encouraged to seek the guidance of qualified professionals in relevant fields for personalized assistance.

The views expressed in individual articles are those of the respective authors and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the magazine or its editorial team. While we strive to present accurate and upto-date information, the dynamic nature of topics related to death and dying may lead to changes in understanding over time.

Readers are urged to exercise their own discretion and judgment when applying the information provided in this magazine to their specific circumstances. The magazine and its contributors disclaim any responsibility for any adverse effects or consequences resulting from the use of information presented herein.

Inclusion of any specific product, service, or organization in our content does not imply endorsement or recommendation. Readers should independently verify and evaluate the suitability of such entities for their individual needs.

The articles presented on this platform are primarily created by human writers. However, they have been edited and enhanced with the assistance of artificial intelligence (AI) technology. While every effort has been made to maintain accuracy, relevance, and quality, please note that AI tools were utilized in the editing process.

By accessing and reading this magazine, readers acknowledge and agree to the terms of this disclaimer. If you are in need of professional assistance or experiencing a crisis, please seek help from qualified professionals or emergency services.

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Editor-in-Chief, Kera Sanchez shares behind the scenes insights on founding Get Griefy from the ground up. Fetch!

I saw Mean Girls for the first time on my 16th Birthday. I actually went to see it with my mom, and I remember being entranced with the film. Everything about it so correctly and comically embodied what it was like to be a teenager in the early 2000s. The hair, the makeup, the shoes, the cliques — all were incredibly accurate and, in my personal opinion, iconic.

Fast forward to January 2020, right before the world shut down, and I found myself at the age of 33, having cocktails at the London House Chicago with my mom, my soon-to-be sister-in-law, my mom’s sorority sisters, and their daughters, all gushing with excitement to see Mean Girls the Musical. Seventeen years later, the idea behind Mean Girls still had a hold on us; we still found it relatable. It was then that I realized that the message behind the plot still applies to other aspects of life, not just the students at 'North Shore High'.

To be honest, as far-fetched as it may seem, I believe this film and the quotable lines from this legendary film very much apply to my grief journey and how I got here today, starting a Magazine, all about grief, where the pages reflect life and pizzazz, a concept that confuses many. So get in, loser, we’re cracking open that burn book and walking you through my Mean Girls-inspired grief takeaways.

When I first found out that my mom unexpectedly died at the age of 57, I had just given birth, and she was on vacation in Italy. Suddenly, my world stopped spinning, and I couldn’t make sense of anything that was happening. I vividly remember the early days, after the services, and the shock was beginning to wear off; I felt completely alone, like no one else had to carry this weight, and I was a victim of my situation. I desperately searched for other people who were 'like me'. After sitting with the girls who ate their feelings for a bit, and skirting around the JV jocks, burnouts, and sexually active band geeks, I decided to create my own table for the greatest people you’ll ever meet. Thank goodness for social media because I quickly learned that other people like me did exist, and they had gone through tragedies much worse, yet were still smiling. I knew I needed to create a space for us to show up and bravely share our stories for others who were just starting their first day at 'grief school', only carrying with them their home school knowledge of what grief is supposed to look like.

Where you sit is crucial and you can totally sit with us.

Not like any of us are obligated to justify ourselves, but many people are confused to hear that I have started a Grief Magazine that looks like this a visual party that embodies what it would look like if a sorority girl threw up on their designer shoes A sparkly, messy, 'visual rager', if you will

Well, for one, that is because I am a sorority girl who, at one point (or multiple points), has thrown up on her designer shoes. Secondly, my mom was also a sorority girl who taught me to follow in her footsteps and make life a party! Thirdly, just because we are grieving doesn’t mean we need to change everything about our lives to accommodate the grief. In fact, it’s the opposite our grief needs to fall in line and fit in with the life we have already established for ourselves.

The reality is, my mom unknowingly wrote the guidebook for me, 'How to raise kids and live life when you feel like dying yourself ' She lost her dad when she was just 22, and I was 6 months old. While I do have some memories of her visiting the cemetery and shedding tears over home movies of them together, what stands out is the memories of her being the most alive person I knew.

My mom, short in stature, was what we like to consider 'fun-sized', and she quite literally crammed 10 lifetimes of adventures into her 57 years of life, and I am so proud of her for turning her lemons into lemonade, with a splash of vodka.

My only wish is that she embraced her grief more; that she talked more openly about how much she missed her dad, and quite frankly, anything that made her sad.

And I can’t blame her; she was a product of her environment. We live in a society of 'black and white', 'this or that', and we really make it hard for people to embrace the spectrums of life.

So if I’m grieving, why do I make light of it? Why do I crack jokes? Why do I paint grief to be beautiful and not ugly? Why am I hopeful? Why am I pink, not black?

Because it’s Wednesday, and the apple lemon did not fall far from the tree.

A huge revelation that I’ve learned, and that has helped me to accept and move forward with my life, is understanding that my mom physically died, but not the love we shared. Not the lessons she instilled in me. Not our hopes and dreams.

As a mother myself to two young girls, I know how I would want them to live their life if something happened to me, and none of those plans involve staying 'stuck' in the grief

By creating, connecting, and building a community in her honor, and in the style we lived our life together, is truly the most loving thing I can do to carry her legacy forward. With this outlet, the love we share knows no boundaries and will continue to spread for infinity.

The limit to our love does not exist.

No matter which way you slice it, someone is going to have a problem with the way you grieve. The reality is, it’s not one size fits all, or even three sizes fit all (1-3-5) Once you join the grief club, you are definitely shopping at Sears. Mostly because we stopped caring about frivolous surface-level sh*t that doesn’t really matter, and we need more selection. We don’t need to shrink down our grief to fit in, and how big we love directly correlates to how big we grieve. Haters will either judge you for moving on too fast, or make comments like 'they seem happy still', or will side-eye you for taking grief with you everywhere you go. So let them sip that haterade, and do you! Be authentically you, including how you grieve.

Don’t let the haters stop you from doing your thang...

Until next time xoxo, Kera

Photography by Megan Hochhauser

STOP THE STIGMA

By: Kimberly Koland

People The world is so full of people

According to the most recent United Nations estimates elaborated by Worldometer, 8,089,025,842 people are walking this earth as of 2/4/2024. Each of them has a story. However, not all of those stories are heard and the stories of poor mental health have long been pushed aside for what makes us feel better or what makes us feel happier.

When people are sick or have surgery, often they will hear words like, “I hope you feel better soon.” They may even recieve get-well cards. But there are not many get-well cards for when you feel like life is falling apart besides the typical, “thoughts and prayers.” For many, the stigma of mental health is tip-toed around like we are trying to keep a baby from waking up

Stopping the stigma of mental health requires each individual to learn more and have honest and fluid conversations. Many think it is hard to do. After all, we are just one person out of all those 8,089,025,842 people, but you CAN do it and that can change the lives of those around you.

Learn about mental health conditions, their symptoms, and treatment options. Share your knowledge with others to promote understanding and empathy. Do you know a great therapist? Don’t keep that a secret! Do you have your own story to tell about your mental health journey? Shout out loud! Speak up and use your voice to challenge negative stereotypes and language that perpetuates stigma Encourage others to do the same Tell personal stories and experiences to show that mental health conditions affect real people. This helps us see past a diagnosis to the heart of humanity.

Talk about people who have recovered from mental health conditions, showing that the right treatment works and recovery is possible. Create a supportive environment that encourages fluid conversations about mental health wherever you go, including work.

Get to know resources in your community that pertain to mental health so you have ideas of what work is being done and where to turn to not only for yourself but others. Finally, practice what you preach. Self-care is so important and is at the top of the list for creating a positive mental health space. Many watch what they see, more than they listen to what you do.

Remember, stigma about this is what we built as a society and it will take many of us to demolish it through understanding, courageous conversations, empathy, and support. We can be the change, even if you are just one person, you can be the change in your little part of the world.

Kimbe childr icide widow s creati writin g people ica, she lives in the Twin Cities, Minnesota and you can often find her with a good book in her hand, learning to garden and being courageously creative. You can find her on Instagram @hopefully kimberly

LOVE Grief

Emily Bingham’s Journey thru loss

In 2017, Emily Bingham received the incredibly tragic news that no mother or wife should ever have to face: her husband's cancer diagnosis. Previously under control, the illness took a sudden and severe turn. She found herself pregnant with their second child, and her husband faced metastasized cancer in his lungs, spine, and liver – a stage IV, terminal diagnosis.

From that moment on, their once easy-breezy life of raising young kids together transformed into a fight for survival. They swapped beach days for lengthy hospital visits, cherishing every moment with Ian, Emily’s husband, and the father of their children. The role of head of the household and primary caregiver now fell solely on Emily, as she became the sole caretaker for him, their children, and everything between.

BY: KERA SANCHEZ

It was during this time that acknowledges her grief journey truly She grappled with the anticipation of the and longed for the life they once shared before his diagnosis.

On March 26, 2019, Ian passed peacefully in his hometown of Kailua, Reflecting on that time, Emily shares, early stages of grief were a blur for me. mostly detached and judged myself harshly for it. I didn’t realize I was in shock and dissociated – a common trauma response where your nervous system 'switches off' protection. When emotions finally surfaced, hoped it would be sadness, but I found mainly consumed by anger and overwhelming feelings in the beginning.”

Emily also recalls what helped her navigate those early days, emphasizing the significance of expression, community, and sharing her journey. “I began sharing my story on social media as a way to heal. Initially, I had been providing medical updates on a GoFundMe page during Ian's battle with cancer. After his passing, supporters reached out, asking if I would continue sharing because they found comfort in my updates. The validation from the community gave me the courage to open up more publicly. So, I launched a blog and started posting on social media. Almost immediately, I found myself connected to thousands of other young widows who were also navigating grief and life after loss!”

Now, her social media following has grown to nearly 300K, propelling her to seek new meaning in the untimely loss of her husband. Assisting and guiding others provided her with what she describes as a glimmer of light amidst the darkness. Her perspective on grief shifted when she realized that it doesn’t truly disappear; it merely changes over time. “Once I accepted that grief is a constant companion—that it evolves rather than vanishes—I told myself, ‘I don’t want grief to consume my entire life. I need to learn how to transform my relationship with it.’ That realization laid the foundation for my work with moveTHRU.”

Emily shares that moveTHRU started as an intention-based workout to empower grievers to physically move thru their grief. Over the past four years, it’s evolved. She has since launched multiple online courses, walking grievers through all types of struggles— such as dating as a widow, surviving as a widowed mom, and finding purpose after a loss. She’s also hosted a handful of retreats and most recently published her book LOVE & GRIEF.

EMILY USING EXERCISE AS MEANS TO COPE WITH GRIEF

Today, the mag asks Emily about what Ian would be most proud of and she shared this sentiment, “Before Ian died, he told me that I should quit corporate and start my own company. He said that I should pour my energy, talents, and passion into building my own dream, not someone else’s. I clearly took his advice to heart and know that he would be incredibly proud of me. I also love that people get to know Ian – our story – through me. It’s cool to think of him impacting people through the work that I do today.”

We also discuss the idea of raising kids without their father, and keeping his memory alive. Emily believes that her work honors Ian, and by talking about him all the time, looking at pictures and videos, and eating his favorite foods to honor specific milestones, his children will never forget the legacy he has left.

Now, 5 years out from the loss, Emily has now found a new partner, David to share her life with, and blend their families together, but admits it was no easy task. Her largest takeaway from learning to love again involved learning to love herself. “My biggest lesson around finding love after loss is that it starts with SELF-LOVE! For widows, so much of their identity & purpose is tied up with their partner. There is such a massive rebirth and if you don’t take time to get to know this new version of yourself, it’s a missed opportunity.”

Once she took the time to rediscover herself, she leaned into the fear of starting over and realized no matter what happens moving forward, she can get through it. “All too often we let fear dictate our lives. We are so afraid of failure and disappointment – of being forced to feel more pain – that we limit ourselves. We choose safety and comfort over pursuing our passions and dreams, which prevents us from fully realizing our truth. When we play small, we never taste the full range of life! For me, hardship, struggle, and pain f it! And by leaning into the darker experiences of life, I’m able to fully appreciate and savor the light!”

Emily ends our interview by expressing her gratitude for blown away by the good that has come from my husband's coincidence! It’s because I allowed this tragedy to change did this by turning my pain into purpose.”

TOP LEFT: IAN’S CELEBRATION OF LIFE IN HAWAII CENTER: EMILY CELEBRATING IAN AND DIVING HEADFIRST INTO HER NEW JOURNEY

TOP RIGHT: EMILY WITH HER CURRENT PARTNER, DAVID BOTTOM LEFT: EMILY AND HER CHILDREN CELEBRATING HER BOOK LAUNCH, LOVE & GRIEF

BOTTOM RIGHT: EMILY COACHING AND GUIDING OTHER WIDOWS THROUGH THIER GRIEF

TO WORK WITH EMILY, CHECK OUT HER WEBSITE, WWW.MOVETHRUGRIEF.COM

FOLLOW HER ON SOCIAL @EMILYPBINGHAM AND PURCHASE HER BOOK LOVE & GRIEF ON AMAZON AND OTHER BOOK SELLERS NATIONWIDE!

Her Father’s List

Laura Carney’s journey through unfinished dreams

By: Kera Sanchez

People create lists for all sorts of reasons. To remember what they need to pick up at the grocery store, to keep track of the weekend chores that need completing, to pack a suitcase for an anticipated trip, or for the father of author Laura Carney, to create a legacy of a life well lived. But what happens if your life is cut short, and those items remain unchecked and in limbo?

Laura Carney, the author of My Father’s List, can tell you her answer In her touching narrative, Laura delves into the intimate world of unfulfilled dreams and the legacy left behind by a life cut short Through the lens of her father's bucket list, Carney weaves a story of discovery, healing, and the profound impact of embracing life's adventures.

The writer describes her childhood as a typical American upbringing; like 41% of her peers, she grew up in a divorced household, and in spite of this, her childhood was great She still saw her father at least twice a week growing up and lived with her mom full-time Since her mom was a school counselor, she spent the summers off with her She did note, however, that during these formative years, she attributed her dad’s lack of stability in terms of new love interests, jobs, cars, and homes to his creative nature. She realizes now that this fear of this instability pushed her to play it safe growing up and into early adulthood. Yet, all that came crashing to a halt when she discovered three important pieces of paper in her deceased father’s wallet, years after his untimely and sudden passing.

Carney recalls the day she became aware of the bucket list that her father had tucked away, incomplete “We were visiting my brother just before his wedding when we learned that he had found our dad’s bucket list My mom said that my dad wrote it the year I was born, which means during a youthful, optimistic time My dad had no reason to believe he couldn’t finish a 60-item bucket list. But he wrote it in 1978, before that term existed. And I guess that’s why he folded it up and kept it in his wallet his whole life. He had finished five of the items and marked one as having failed at (reimbursing his dad for a loan).”

From that point on, Laura knew she needed to finish his list. At first, she wanted to complete it as a means to alert others of the gravity of distracted driving, after a driver on their phone struck and killed her father “I hoped finishing my dad’s bucket list might raise awareness about needless car crashes, caused by phones I thought I could heal a problem afflicting many families. I had no idea that I would end up healing me.”

Laura also gradually realized how playing it safe her whole life had impacted her authenticity and stopped her from truly living The crazy adventures she embarked on with her father’s List brought Laura back to who she was at her core. Sharing with the magazine how this list changed her life, she says, “The act of bravely claiming what we want to do has an impact on our lives and on the lives of others The list and I were born at the same time It was always there, sitting in his wallet, waiting for me to find it one day That’s part of why completing the list felt like a return to me rather than a new version. As I checked off each item, I remembered times my dad had prepared me to do whatever the item was.”

Laura also emphasizes the importance of embracing life and the lessons learned from this experience: “The most important lesson finishing the list and writing my book gave me was how to be my own best friend. When you love yourself for being alive, you stop being controlled by others’ validation. I didn’t write the book with any aims in mind the writing felt more like a surrender I’m happy that people enjoy it and take away from it whatever they need ” She ended our interview with this simple encouragement for readers, “Go after your dreams and help others find theirs. Life is supposed to feel like dancing.”

Tolearnmoreaboutthelist,herjourneyto

Pictured:Laurachecking itemsoffthelist throughouttheyears

completethelistandherreflectionsfromtheride, checkoutherbook, MyFather’sList,availablenow!

Rosie's story mirrors that of many during the pandemic. Losing both of her grandmothersduringthistime ofuncertaintypromptedherto findsolaceinthecomfortand legacyoffamilyrecipespassed down for generations. “I wantedtoknowwhatrecipesof theirsmyfamilyhadkept,who was cooking them, what we remembered about their food traditions, and how we were preservingthem.”Rosierecalls that her interest was also sparked by an internship she completed for her Masters program,wheresheservedasa digital archivist at Congressional Cemetery in Washington,DC."Itwasthere thatIlearnedaboutthevarious ways people chose to memorialize something important about themselves, including leaving behind a recipeontheirepitaph."Since then,Rosiehasresearchedand discovered30suchsites,having visited9oftheminperson.

Shenowattributesthisarchive asakeycomponenttohergrief and healing journey. Not unusual to other US families, she admits “I don't think my family was comfortable with deathandprocessinggrief.But it'ssomethingwe'restartingto work on and getting more comfortablewithembracing.”

She also acknowledges the worldofDeathPositivityand the movement that is helping formhealthierrelationshipsand mortalacceptancethroughthe discussionsofhardtopics.

“It's made me much more comfortablewithtalkingabout death and dying. My family talksabouthowwewanttobe remembered, and more and moreweareacknowledgingthe factwe'llalldieonedayIdon't thinkmyprojectwillmakethe griefoflosingsomeoneanyless painful,butIhopeitwillalso includeasweetnesstoit.”Also adding,“Andforafriendwho died in college, I've started cooking a favorite meal we shared, grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup, andIcannowthinkofherand talkabouthermoreeasily.”

Grant’s gateway gravesite recipe was Naomi’s spritz cookies,followedby Connie’s dateandnutbread.Soonthere after, she realized the next logical step was to continue visiting creating dishes, which she has come to realize are typically desserts. The most challenging to date, Marian’s apricoticecream.

“I HOPE THE PROJECT MAKES PEOPLE CONSIDER THE RECIPES AND FOODS IMPORTANT TO THEM AND THEIR LOVED ONES. I HOPE THEY MAYBE WRITE THEM DOWN, COOK THEM WITH PEOPLE WHO ARE SPECIAL TO THEM, AND DOCUMENT THOSE FOOD LEGACIES FOR THEMSELVES IN THE FUTURE.”

GHOSTLY ARCHIVE

By:KeraSanchez

Rosie Grant, MLIS, is a part time librarian at the American Jewish University and full-time outreach manager at the Center for the Study of

To learn more about Rosie, and Ghostly Archive, visit her website: www.ghostlyarchive.com and follow her on social: @ghostly archive

@ghostlyarchive

How to Help a Grieving Friend from a Distance

BY: MAGGIE MERRYDAY OF YEAR THIRTYONE

Send Text Messages Regularly Without Expecting a Response

Whether it’s physical distance, or a personal boundary that you need to set to take care of you, there may come a time when you want to help a friend that’s grieving from a distance. It can be hard to know what to say or do that will actually be helpful for your grieving friend. These past couple of weeks, I’ve been sharing on my Instagram stories that two of our closest friends lost their precious daughter. Ben and I have spent some time since her passing to support our friends through the very early stages of their grief. Our friends live about two hours away from us and we knew that it would be a couple of weeks before we would get to see them. In this blog post, I’m sharing some things that we did to support our friends, as well as some additional ideas on how you can support your grieving loved one from a distance.

Since my friend lost her baby, every time I think of her, I send her a message. Even if I don’t get a response, I still send her messages regularly letting her know that I’m thinking about her. In fact, I never expect a response, because the point is not to get her to engage with me. I just want her to be aware of, and hopefully comforted by, my constant, unwavering support. It’s ok if you don’t know what to say. Sometimes it’s nice to hear “I don’t know what to say, I just want you to know I love you.” As someone who’s grieving myself, I’d rather have your honesty than nothing at all.

When reaching out to your friend, try to avoid asking questions like “How are you?” or “Let me know if you need anything.” I like questions like, “Tell me how it feels to be you right now ” Or, “how was today on a scale of one to ten?” These more open-ended questions may actually get your friend talking and help them process their feelings, and if you use your active listening skills, you may be able to gauge what you can do to be helpful for them. For example, one night my friend told me she’d had a really bad day, so I sent her a funny video of Madison singing “Ariel” songs. She told me the video made her laugh. Madison’s singing didn’t make all the pain and hurt go away, but it did give my sweet friends one small moment of levity. Sometimes it’s the little things that make the biggest difference.

Send an Amazon or Grocery Delivery to their house

With the power of technology and Amazon Prime, you can send just about anything to anyone in two to three business days. Consider sending your friend some groceries or household goods that they may need. If your friend is anticipating guests coming in for funeral services or will be hosting family, consider sending goods like paper plates or even toilet paper to help take off the hosting load. Don’t forget to send some extra soft tissues.

Keep the support comingeven after the funeral is over

One of the hardest parts of the grief process is the “after,” when the funeral happens, and then all the family leaves, everyone goes home, back to work, and “back to normal.” Your friend will be far from normal, and still very much processing all that has happened Keep sending your notes and support in the weeks and months following the funeral Acknowledge your friend’s person – their birthday or special milestones, share funny memories or stories about them.

Remember that there is no “back to normal.” Grief is a forever-long journey. Your friend sure is lucky to have you along the road with them!

Send cards, gifts or comforts from home

Consider sending your friend a custom, one of a kind gift that they will treasure forever. When my dad passed, one of my friends sent me a memorial wind chime. It hangs on my back porch, and I love to listen to it when the wind blows Megan Burt Art in Franklin, TN, makes custom ornaments for families who’ve had stillborn babies. One of my personal favorites, Made By Mary creates custom, handmade jewelry that will last a lifetime. My friend gifted me one of her tag necklaces with my dad’s initials for Christmas and I wear it almost every day. If custom jewelry or handmade gifts are not in your budget, that’s ok. Send a comfort from home, like a bag of their favorite local coffee, or even just a handwritten note on plain paper. A handwritten card in the goodold-fashioned mailbox can mean the world. One of my “grief blogger” friends, Angie of Butterflies and Halos makes cards especially with grievers in mind. She has some more traditional cards, as well as some cheekier styles if your friends appreciates

Maggie Merryday is a higher education professional, blogger, and mom based in Lakeland, Florida. This blog details her journey through loss, love, and lessons learned during the most transformative year of her life

Other Get Griefy suggestions:

Beyond Words Co. care packages support others through grief and loss--a beautiful gift for difficult times.The small business designs and ships care packages to support others through grief, loss, and difficult life transitions. When you gift a Beyond Words Co. care package, you thoughtfully support the healing journey of a colleague or loved one. Beyond Words Co. care packages are designed to support people through grief, loss, and difficult life transitions.

They thoughtfully support the healing journey of a loved one, friend, or colleague. Their gifts have natural products to promote comfort, nourishment, and rest for the mind, body, and spirit. They beautifully support in circumstances like death of a loved one, health crises, surgeries and medical treatments, pregnancy loss, job loss, pet loss, divorce and relationship challenges among other life events. The gift items provide calming and comforting moments for those needing support.

Companies in their workplace giving programs also work with them to custom-design for other life events like welcoming new employees, welcoming a new baby or child, and team gifting for appreciation, milestones, events, and holidays.

How to Help a Grieving Friend from a

Support shouldn’t be bound to proximity. That’s why SupportNow is offering solutions regardless of where you live to show expressions of compassion. That might be through a donation, a gift card for transportation or food, words of support, or even prayer.

SupportNow wants to normalize asking and receiving help not just for the days after a loss or funeral but the weeks and months that follow. Through their “Updates” section families can post how they are doing, what they need most and remove the awkwardness.

Through this free platform you can find ways to support those from afar by: Giving Money

Sending Meals/Organizing a Meal Calendar

Volunteering (Pet Care, Child care, around the house, transportation, errands)

Every day millions of people find themselves dealing with loss. As word spreads, people want to help.

The combined desire to act is powerful, yet usually disorganized. Both families and supporters are forced to use multiple single-use tools to raise funds, organize meals, coordinate volunteers and share updates.

SupportNow simplifies this fragmented chaos by providing one, free, easy-to-use platform. Our “Lend a Hand” feature helps families (esp. Moms) coordinate volunteers for all the little things: help around the house, with the kids, watching the pets, rides to and from, etc. With SupportNow, not only do families keep more money, but the full power of a motivated community can be unleashed.”

-Jordan Arogeti, CEO and Founder of SupportNow

Grief touches the lives of many, including Andrea, the inspiring mind behind The Grief Nook. It's a space she created where all forms of grief are not just welcome, but understood as a natural part of life. I had the pleasure of chatting with Andrea over Zoom, where she shared her personal journey and the beautiful concept behind The Grief Nook.

Andrea's own experience with grief started nine years ago when she faced the heartbreak of losing her first pregnancy. Like countless others, she felt lost, seeking solace in a world that often shies away from discussing such painful topics. Feeling alone in her grief, she decided to rewrite the narrative.

That's when The Grief Nook came to life a comforting refuge where it's perfectly okay to not have it all together. Andrea's approach goes beyond the typical support groups; she believes in the healing power of self-expression and creativity. "You don't have to be an artist to create art," she reminded me, highlighting the strength found in simply expressing ourselves.

Creatively Grieving:

The Healing Journey of The Grief Nook

Written by: Liz Quinn

In a world where conversations about grief are often hushed, The Grief Nook is a place where people can truly connect and feel understood. Andrea hopes that through workshops and heartfelt talks, she can form a community from where everyone ' s journey is honored and respected.

But Andrea's story isn't just about pain; it's about discovering hope and transformation. She's learned firsthand that embracing imperfection and vulnerability through creativity, expression, and grieving as nature intended activates a powerful catalyst to healing.

"After experiencing my miscarriage in 2015 and other losses, I felt a deep void where compassion, understanding, and resources for grieving should have been," Andrea shares. "Since then, it's been my passion to create a space where grievers feel seen and supported."

Her mission is clear: to help individuals rebuild their lives after loss and guide them toward resilience by helping them rediscover the strength within their own souls.

As the founder of The Grief Nook, Andrea believes that the grieving process is inherently creative and her goal is to help grievers reconnect with their own innate ability to heal through a mix of creativity and heartfelt guidance maybe even throwing in a dance party Andrea offers a refreshingly unique approach to grief support.

Here, participants rediscover timeless ways of coping with grief and find ways to grow alongside it while inspiring and encouraging others to tap into new creative outlets, such as painting, baking, connecting with nature, participating in rituals, and so much more!

The Grief Nook welcomes anyone navigating their own path through grief, no matter what type of loss they've experienced. It's a comfortable space where all forms of grief are

Examples of creative grief expression with The Grief Nook events, crafting and dance.

Andrea's own journey through grief serves as a powerful reminder of the potential for transformation when we embrace vulnerability and authenticity. Through her work with The Grief Nook, she hopes to empower others to navigate their own grief journeys with courage, compassion, and a creative spark.

With each new person who joins The Grief Nook community, Andrea's vision of a world where grief is met with empathy and understanding shines a little brighter. Together, they stand as proof of the resilience of the human spirit and the healing power of connection.

So, The Grief Nook isn't just a virtual hangout it's a warm digital embrace where real people find comfort and support, guided by Andrea's compassionate leadership.

Andrea Turnbow is a certified Grief Educator and Trauma & Resilience Coach and the founder behind The Grief Nook. With her own experiences with miscarriage and loss, she hopes to provide a comfortable place to tap into their intuitiveness, their creativity, and their innate abilities to process their grief.

To learn more, visit www thegriefnook com and follow on Instagram @thegriefnook

LESSONSFROMLIVING INTHE

As I write this, it's March 11th at 11 AM, and today marks fouryearsandsevenmonthssinceIgotthecallthatmy onlysibling,Yosef,unexpectedlydied.

Irememberwishingtheworldwouldpausesowecould catchourbreath–thentheglobalpandemichit,further transforminglifeasweknewit.

Sincethen,myparentsandIhavebeendoingadelicate balancing act, morphing from a sturdy “four-legged table” to a wobbly “three-legged table”. Signs from Yosef have become a natural part of our continuing bonds,andI'vetakenadeepdiveintotheworldofgriefinformed support hosting the Grief and Light Podcast, growing the social media community, speaking at events,andleadingsupportcircles.

Loss and grief change us profoundly, reshaping our understanding of the world andourplacewithinit.

Understanding grief and showing ourselves grace along the way can make all thedifferenceinourabilitytomoveforward.

Hereareafewkeytakeawayslearnedsincethatpivotalday.

The Host of Grief and Light Podcast, Nina Rodriguez

The Pain is Real, but the SufferingisOptional

Grief is a natural and normal response to loss. And yet, in our grief-averse society, we oftenrushtofixtheunfixable.

The truth is, grievers don't need fixing, for we are not broken.Wearewholehuman beings having a human experience.

Pain is the element of loss that we cannot control or change (i.e. our person died and there’s nothing we can dotobringthemback).

Suffering refers to the elementsthatwecancontrol or influence as we move forward This may look like establishing new boundaries with friends and family, speaking up about our needs, saying “no” more often, and/or whatever we need to do or say to reestablish a sense of safety and space around our heartache.

As Megan Devine says, “pain gets tended; suffering gets adjusted”.

GriefisnotthisORthat;it’sthisANDthat

Grief thrusts us into the realm of living in the AND, as welearntoholdspaceformultipletruthstocoexist:

SadnessandJoy

PainandPleasure

LossandLife Andsoon

It demands acknowledgment, understanding, and witnessingasgrieversstandinthetruthofourreality asitis without“shoulding”ourselves

TheShift

What we do with the shatteredpiecesaroundusis thestorywegettowriteafter experiencing loss that rearranges our understanding of the world andhowweoperateinit

Shifting from “survival” to “making meaning”, however, takestime,andthejourneyis deeply personal to each individual. You may recognize this as the proverbial “turn your pain intopurpose”cliche.

Griefisnuanced,assuch,this external expectation may harm grieving individuals, highlighting the dissonance between the griever’s lived experience of loss, and society’s expectation for grievers to “bounce back” and “get back to normal ASAP”. This is particularly exacerbatedinearlygrief.

Howwemoveforwardingrief is unique to each individual’s circumstances, influenced by accessibility to support, resources, and personal beliefsaboutgrief.

Grief-InformedSpaces

Grief is a persistent companion. It will patiently wait for us to face it, no matter how much time goesby,orhowquicklyweattempttooutpaceit.

In navigating grief, it's essential to give ourselves time and permission to grieve and feel our feelings – cognitively and somatically This can be challenging in a fast-paced culture that praisesproductivityandshunsbigemotions.

Grievers are encouraged to find community and grief-informed spaces where conversations about loss, trauma, and healing can unfold organically.Thesevirtualand/orphysicalspaces provide a sanctuary for grievers to express their feelings, release the burden of guilt, integrate and transmute the pain and love that coexist withinthem.

AFinalWord

In the end, grieving fully AND living fully are not mutually exclusive; they are intertwined threads inthetapestryoflife.

Living in the AND may very well be the first time we get to meet our most authentic selves. This path is not easy, AND we don’t have to walk it alone.

I invite you to continue this conversation on IG @griefandlight

NinaRodriguezisfounderandhostoftheGrief and Light Podcast, created after the unexpected loss of her only sibling, Yosef. Beyond the podcast, Nina extends her griefinformed support through monthly circles, personalized mentorship, speaking engagements, active presence on social media, and forthcoming in-person retreats. Exploremoreatgriefandlight.com.

Trunnis Goggins II's Journey of Loss and Healing

By: Kera Sanchez

Trunnis Goggins II, a resident of Asheville, North Carolina, has endured a pain that no parent should ever have to face the loss of his daughter to a senseless act of violence In June of 2015, tragedy struck when his daughter was fatally shot while attempting to break up a fight “This loss is unnatural We are supposed to die before our children The loss of a child is something that one never gets over The grief has been a constant part of my last 9 years ”

Goggins acknowledges how much grief is now woven into his life and has shaped him as a person. Despite the profound sorrow that follows him ev Goggins has found ways to navigate through the darkness. He acknowle while the pain may never dissipate entirely, it can be managed. "I've realize that grief is not something you 'get over'," he shares. "It's some learn to carry with you, like a weight that becomes a part of who you are

In this grief journey, Goggins has discovered the importance of conne others who share similar experiences. He extends a compassionate ea who may be struggling with their own grief, offering solace and unde born from his journey of loss "When I lost my daughter, I yearned for who truly understood my pain," he reflects "Now, I strive to be that p others who are walking a similar path "

Goggins emphasizes the need to embrace a new normal, reconciling wit that life will never be the same after a life-shattering loss He finds honoring his daughter's memory and legacy, particularly through the l of her son, whom he is blessed to raise."Raising my grandson is a way my daughter's spirit alive," he says. "It's a tangible reminder of the lov exists, even in the midst of grief."

Beyond this personal journey, Goggins is a multifaceted individual with projects and accomplishments. He is the author of the acclaimed "4Ps book franchise, and is the host of a podcast of the same nam background in public policy administration and nonprofit management, an MBA, Goggins is a sought-after consultant in the field of small corporate, and higher education

Moreover, Goggins is a proud veteran of the US Navy, with numerous accolades for his service In his spare time, he dedicates himself to developing programs to assist fellow veterans in their transition to civilian life a testament to his unwavering commitment to serving others

As Goggins continues his journey of healing and resilience, he offers a beacon o hope to those grappling with grief. Through his words and actions, he exemplifies the transformative power of perseverance, compassion, and the unwavering resilience of the human spirit.

Kayla and her son, who Trunnis is now raising

Trunnis’ book, The 4Ps of You

Embracing the Journey

By: Liz Quinn

PARENTING THROUGH SIBLING GRIEF

Parenting is like being on a rollercoaster, full of ups and downs, but nothing could prepare me for guiding my kids through the grief of losing a sister they never met It's been a journey with so many twists and turns, moments of deep sadness, but also unexpected connections that bring us closer as a family.

My firstborn daughter, Alivia Agnes, came into the world on July 23, 2008. She arrived with a faint heartbeat but was not breathing. After 34 long hours in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU), Alivia took her final breath in her father's arms on July 24, 2008. Alivia was a complete surprise to my husband, Nathan, and me, and though we were nervous about becoming parents, we were filled with boundless excitement for our little girl

The pain of losing Alivia was crushing I struggled to navigate through grief, let alone broach the topic of expanding our family. But after much soul-searching and healing, we eventually opened our hearts to the possibility once more. Welcoming our first child after Alivia's passing was full of unpredictable emotions. Joy mingled with sorrow, hope entwined with grief – it was a rollercoaster ride unlike any other. Zoe came into our lives two years after losing Alivia. Two boys, Grayson and Logan, followed in the coming years. While we have always been grateful for our living children, the hole left by the grief remained

Explaining Alivia's absence to her siblings has been an ongoing challenge How do you articulate loss to children who never had the opportunity to meet their sister? It's like grasping at shadows, attempting to convey feelings too immense to comprehend.

Yet, we've found solace in sharing stories about Alivia, and in preserving her memory through cherished traditions like decorating her angel tree Every Christmas, we decorate a beautiful 6-foot tree with white lights and ornaments symbolizing angels, butterflies, and other tokens of our precious girl. The angel tree started as a tradition because the holidays following our loss felt impossible to enjoy and appreciate. Come Christmas time, we struggled to balance a tradition we had always had (having a decorated tree) with a total desire to avoid the holiday out of grief. Our solution was a tree for Alivia, decorated more to celebrate our daughter than the holiday Continuing this tradition allows our children to love and honor their sister

We never imposed Alivia's inclusion, but her presence has always felt natural in our family Incorporating Alivia's memory into our family dynamic has been an organic process, a means of keeping her spirit alive in our hearts and home. When they were younger, they often drew pictures of our family, with Alivia depicted as a little girl with butterfly wings in the sky.

As our children mature, their questions deepen, and their understanding of loss evolves. Zoe, in particular, wrestles with the idea of what might have been – the shared secrets, the late-night chats, the sisterly bond Witnessing her navigate her grief as a teenager is heartwrenching yet strangely beautiful It serves as a poignant reminder of the profound love and connection within our family, even amidst loss They may never have met her, but they know her as a beloved part of our family, and their connection to her is forged through the love we share for her. .

As parents, Nathan and I have learned to navigate the delicate balance of honoring Alivia's memory while allowing our children the space to grieve in their own way. We've created a home where her spirit is felt in the laughter that echoes through the halls and the love that binds us together

Through it all, we've learned that grief is a journey, not a destination It's messy and complicated, full of unexpected twists and turns Yet, it's also a journey of healing, of finding solace in the love and connections that bind us as a family Ultimately, by honoring Alivia's memory, we find hope and healing, knowing she will always be part of our family's narrative, guiding us with her gentle spirit and reminding us of the enduring power of love

Top left: Liz’s children in front of their “Alivia tree”

Top Right: Liz and her husband, Nathan taking in their brief physical experience with their daughter.

Bottom: The Quinn children visiting their sister at her gravesite.

Liz Quinn is a regular contributor to Get Griefy magazine, and the host of Healing Hearts Podcast.

She is a wife and mom of 4 including, Alivia and a librarian at her local library.

To learn more about her podcast and her page dedicated to wellness and healing, follow her on Instagram @healingheartswellness

Artisanal Elegance: Celebrating Katie Anderson, the Creator of the Stylish Welkin Memorials

By: Kera Sanchez

In the hustle and bustle of New York City, resides Katie Anderson, founder of Welkin Memorials. Known as one of the chicest and most fashionable cities in the world, it makes sense that this city is also the birthplace of one of the most aesthetically pleasing final resting places on the market, Welkin Memorials, decorative vase urns

Nine years ago, weeks before Katie turned 22, she was left picking up the pieces after the death of her father, leading her to encounter challenges and frustrations within the memorial industry Today, she is committed to easing this challenging process for others, utilizing her background in product development to create urns that seamlessly blend aesthetics, functionality, and affordability. Not only was this project sustained by her expertise and background, but by grief.

“My grief journey has fueled a creative and introspective process. Channeling my emotions, I found a purpose in utilizing my skills in product development to address the limitations within the memorial industry. This endeavor not only provided a therapeutic outlet but also allowed me to contribute positively to the lives of others navigating similar challenges. In essence, my grief journey has woven itself into the fabric of my identity, shaping me into a person who values connection, resilience, empathy, and the pursuit of meaningful contributions to the well-being of others.”

The urns she designs serve as more than vessels for ashes; they are aesthetically pleasing and discreet, allowing individuals to proudly display them without drawing attention to their actual function. This not only provides a sense of privacy but also seamlessly integrates the memorial into the user ' s home By providing functional options that are both beautiful and discreet, she offers a place where peace of mind and beauty can coexist in celebrating the lives of loved ones The thoughtful design of artisan urns, doubling as ceramic vases, adds a personal touch to the grieving process. This innovative approach allows individuals to personalize their tribute not only through the choice of urn color but also by displaying meaningful floral arrangements.

Reflecting on her journey, Katie confesses how much this brand has helped her heal, “The act of designing urns allowed me to express my grief creatively, turning the pain of loss into a purposeful endeavor. As I immersed myself in the product development process, I found a therapeutic outlet in translating my feelings into tangible, functional pieces. Each urn is a labor of love, a tribute not only to my father but also to the shared experiences of those navigating the complex world of grief.”

Complex as it is, Katie has now learned that grief is not something we overcome, but a part of who we are, stating that it has shaped her perspective, and taught her many life lessons “Though the pain may never fully dissipate, it has evolved into a source of strength, propelling me forward with a deeper appreciation for life and the relationships I make.” She also tells Get Griefy that, “grief is not a finite experience with a clear endpoint. It's not a linear process that neatly concludes after a set period. This understanding fosters empathy and support for those experiencing grief, acknowledging that healing is an ongoing and complex process rather than a destination ”

Beyond functionality, she hopes those interacting with her urns will be provided comfort, peace, and a tangible connection to cherished memories, contributing to a healing and thoughtful memorialization process.

To date, Welkin memorials are entirely bootstrapped and have successfully launched two sizes and in 3 glaze options.

To learn more, please visit: www.welkinmemorials.com

@welkinmemorials

the third Gift with J.D. McCabe

By:KeraSanchez

Grief is commonly associated with death, illness, or strained relationships However, our society is gradually realizing that grief can stem from variouslosses,suchastheendofamarriage,the failureofadream,thelossofajoborlifestyle,or the shattering of a seemingly solid plan JD McCabe,aresidentofCharleston,SouthCarolina, and the author of The Third Gift: My Dance With theDevil(AndHerMother),hasexperienceditall, including involuntary commitment, gaslighting, projection, character assassination, and even arsenicpoisoning.

J.D.shareshisexperienceofgrieftoinspireothers to move forward and find purpose in their pain. He not only had to mourn the end of a 23-year marriage but also cope with the loss of both parents during tumultuous years, as outlined in his book. Additionally, he endured a two-year estrangement from his daughter, which required him to process the loss of their previously close relationship (fortunately, they have since reconciled)

McCabe describes his relationship with grief as comfortable and rooted in his faith. He sees his parents’ passing as a release from suffering and views the collapse of his marriage as a divine intervention, revealing its foundation of deceit and betrayal. Despite the painful revelations, he foundarenewedsenseofpurposeandidentity

In his book, he reveals the lies upon which his marriage was built, leading to personal attacks and attempts to alienate him from his children by his ex-wife. He emphasizes the importance of acknowledging and processing grief rather than suppressing it, recognizing that it can be destructiveifleftunresolved

The journey toward healing was arduous, spanning six years of grappling with loss and disappointment. Throughout the challenges, McCabe believes his grief has made him more patient, humble, and grateful. Gratitude, he says, allows him to focus on the present, embracing faith and cherishing life's simple momentswithoutworryingaboutthefuture.

He hopes his story will inspire others to view adversity as an opportunity for growth and communitybuilding.Sharinghisexperiences,he believes, can offer solace to those feeling isolatedintheirstruggles.

FORMOREINSIGHTSINTOJ.D.'SSTORY,

WHOLLYHEART NUTRITION

By: Kera Sanchez

In terms of career transitions, few stories resonate as deeply as that of Susan Koursaris, who found her calling in an unexpected place: Grief.

With over 20 years in pathology and a stint running her own laboratory consulting company, Susan's journey took a profound turn fueled by personal tragedy and a quest for meaning.

"This is 100% a career and life change for me," Susan shares, reflecting on her shift from the clinical world to that of holistic nutrition. It was the loss of her beloved sister, Joannie, to cancer that sparked the flame of curiosity in natural and alternative therapies. "Her medical treatments initially worked, until they didn't," Susan recalls. She admits that as much as the the treatments and trials failed her, she struggled with the idea that she did too Between her roles as a mom with a newborn, and working part-time at a hospital, she felt like she couldn’t devote the attention to Joannie and her treatment that she wished she could have This idea of survivor's guilt is something Susan and many other grievers struggle with, and ultimately what sparked change in her path

“Joannie and I always lit up at the idea that what the body consumes would either support health or sickness But we didn’t know where to start A couple years after her death, (and following my parents’ deaths) I discovered nutritional therapy and how it can support optimal health. I applied the basic principles to my own lifestyle and dietary habits and was able to improve my symptoms after I experienced a decline in my health, due to the horrors of grief. When I saw how effective it was for me, I was hooked!”

And soon, the guilt Susan felt subsided when she realized she was following a path her sister was proud of. “My sister used to tell me about how she found things in the shape of hearts everywhere. She said it made her feel like God was “winking” at her and made her feel loved. I used to be secretly annoyed that I wasn’t finding these hearts anywhere! It wasn’t long after her death that things changed for me. I was now finding hearts everywhere and all the time! Since then, I have found so many hearts that I have been able to devote an entire gallery on my webpage to only the hearts I find in my food!”

Joannie

Susan A sister’s mission to heal her heart from the inside out

Now that she has successfully started up her nutritional therapy practice, she shares some quick tips for readers looking to improve their nutritional wellbeing:

“I’ll let you in on a secret Fat is not the devil Sugar is Balancing blood sugar is desperately needed by most of the population- myself included! Always eat a sweet last Having sugars and refined carbs on an empty stomach spikes the blood sugar and we want to avoid those spikes. Consuming good fats instead of empty carbs is a great start to optimizing health. I’m not talking about the transfats found in seed oils, processed or fast foods! Rather, good fats that include anti-inflammatory omega 3s found in things like avocado, flax, walnuts, fish oils, EVOO, and grass-fed beef and butter. So cut down or eliminate, as best you can, sweets and processed carbs, and up your healthy fat intake to keep you satiated!”

Susan’s training includes completing coursework through the Nutritional Therapy Association (NTA), Restorative Wellness Solutions (RWS), and attaining Board Certification in Holistic Nutrition® from the National Association of Nutrition Professionals (NANP) Between these accomplishments and the unique experience of her own grief journey, she is able to understand her clients on a very personal and dynamic level. “If you are struggling after a stressful event and don’t know how to support your health, I can help you!”

In a world of change and omnipresent loss and grief, Susan’s story is that of hope for a better tomorrow, and the lessons our loved ones teach us in life and in spirit, one bite at a time.

TO LEARN MORE ABOUT WHOLLY HEART NUTRITION AND TO WORK WITH SUSAN, PLEASE VISIT WWW.WHOLLYHEARTNUTRITION.COM AND FOLLOW HER ON INSTAGRAM @WHOLLYHEARTNUTRITION

The hearts Susan has found in her food over the years

One of the last complete family photos Susan has.

Grief

is a Gift: A Personal Narrative Plus 5 Principles to Set Yourself Free

By: Amanda McKoy Flanagan

I’ve heard love cannot exist without loss I agree, and I had to find out the hard way My big brother Jeremy overdosed and died in March of 2018 after a twentyfive-year battle with addiction He was my champion, my first friend When Jeremy died, I hit the floor (for the third time during my 17 years of sobriety) I stayed there for three months

My marriage had been struggling since 2014 I can’t pinpoint exactly when I started to feel unhappy and unfulfilled, but I know it was around that time, four short years after our beautiful beachside wedding Frustration with my husband’s 9/11-related physical illness and PTSD began to settle deep within me the same year our second daughter was born But I lived with it, feeling lucky to have my husband alive, lucky to be growing a family with him, and even luckier that he wanted me for his partner

We moved from Long Island, New York to Castle Rock, Colorado in 2015 That’s when it went from bad to worse Jim’s PTSD started to come to light with vigor, and this, I thought, was the root of our marriage troubles I was wrong, dead wrong

Five months after Jeremy met his maker, in August of 2018, I experienced a spiritual awakening that rocked my world, completely flipping it upside down and inside out I had an epiphany that blew my mind: I didn’t love my husband; I had never loved my husband I decided that my decision to marry my 12 year-older, chronically ill, firefighter boyfriend was purely a premeditated, good choice

When I told Jim I didn’t love him, he was baffled I was too I had no idea why I felt so strongly about our lack of love Yes, I was unhappy, but wasn’t that how all marriages ended up over time? That’s how my parents’ marriage was, so my discontent was just a part of the game, right?

I was willing to accept my apathy until one day I wasn’t

Sober 12 years in a program that demands selfreflection (Jim sober 22 years), Jim and I both knew it was likely that a deeper problem was lurking under the surface, and we were both interested in marriage counseling Our therapist quickly uncovered our truth, presenting a clear picture where all I could see was a foggy windshield, a most muddled future lying ahead for our family Tracy brought clarity and insight, helping me to see the reality of the story I had been unconsciously telling myself for 38 years She helped me to recognize my distorted perception of myself, love, and life, due to childhood emotional abandonment which created an extreme fear of loss Feeling unheard and invalidated as a child instilled a deep-seated feeling of loss at a young age My father’s affair and my parents eventual divorce affected me greatly as well

Tracy also showed me how I was committed to a false narrative of generational family dysfunction which quietly shouted that love is painful and everyone will leave me I call it The Great Myth, and this distorted message, coupled with childhood pain and trauma, cemented into place when Jeremy died The myth became true, and my brain convinced me that my husband was next to die so I pulled away in an effort to protect myself from future debilitating grief Once I woke up to this agonizing but liberating truth, it became unacceptable to live this way I admitted that my “I don’t love you” was really “I’m afraid you’re going to die,” and was committed to living in wholehearted love

Therapy, in addition to hours of deep meditation and working my 12-step program specifically around my marriage and the fear-based stories I believed brought me to my true self: unconditional self-worth and self-love Over the course of three years of intense healing, I was delivered from emotional abandonment to emotional security Learning to love myself creates an unshakable foundation and connection with myself which allows me to connect purely and vulnerably with others, especially my husband

This experience is available to you too!

It’s not a matter of avoiding pain, it’s about knowing you can be present for it, and trusting yourself to have your own back Five principles to consider while walking your road toward emotional freedom are: self-love, humility, the Buddhist concept of Impermanence, Compassion Forgiveness, and the importance of healing childhood wounds

Self love

Self-love is not about loving only your “good” parts Selflove is loving every part of you the parts you like and the parts you dont like Excavating who you are, becoming acquainted with and loving all of your parts creates a stabilizing sense of security Emotional security holds tremendous power to diminish the fear of abandonment when loss occurs

Humility

The second principle is humility

Understanding that loss is as much a part of life as love is right sizes you, bringing a measure of humility Life is life; painful times arise alongside joyous times Acknowledging, embracing, and accepting every emotion during the many seasons of life will help you to make peace with your pain Recognizing that choosing to love someone inherently brings a risk of loss and accepting that this as what it means to be human helps you to trust yourself to show up in both love and grief with an open heart

Impermanence

The Buddhist concept of Impermanence states that nothing is forever The only everlasting part of you is your soul Given this, it is wise to grow your soul into the most enlightened spirit possible This means not attaching to any earthly person, place, or idea to the point of devastation when they leave, or it ends Allowing every material possession, every person you love, and everything in your life that you enjoy to easily flow to you and then away is the path to being fully present for love and loss You can engage in life purely and confidently with the knowledge and acceptance that everything ends

Compassion Forgiveness

People hurt us, often unintentionally This creates a feeling of loss, and the potential to close our hearts to love presents in an effort to protect ourselves from future pain One way to keep an open heart after this kind of loss is by practicing Compassion Forgiveness Compassion Forgiveness involves releasing a person from blame by sincerely believing they did the best they could, based on their mental, emotional, and spiritual capacity as a result of learned experience Truly believing, deep in your soul, that if a person could have done better, they would have, releases us from personalizing their actions This provides a sense of emotional freedom because the way we view ourselves is independent of someone’s actions, naturally leading to an open heart of love

Healing childhood wounds

Many of us have experienced pain and trauma in childhood which established feelings of loss and emotional abandonment deep within Healing childhood wounds through inner child work builds self-worth, bringing you closer to whole Showing up for your “Little You” and affirming you are loved provides a sense of safety and security Love toward self now fills the void that childhood emotional abandonment created Pain and trauma are replaced with emotional security, and you are free to love wholeheartedly without expecting someone else to fill your void If they leave, you can trust yourself to be okay because you are not dependent on them for your emotional security

As devastating as my brother’s death was, the incredible loss forced me to search within for answers, and I found them His death gave me new life

For that, I am forever grateful.

Amanda’s debut memoir/self-help book, Trust Yourself to Be All In: Safe to Love and Let Go is available on Amazon and on her website, amandamckoyflanagan com

You can find her on Instagram and Facebook @amandamckoyflanagan

Check out her podcast Sol Rising: All In on Love, Loss, and Connection on YouTube, Apple, Spotify, and everywhere else you listen to Podcasts

RUSH’S

A I N B O W S

From the moment

Rush’s Rainbows started their work in 2023, Jalen and Hannah Auer knew that they could provide a hint of hope and maybe even a smile in the darkest of times for families facing the unimaginable.

The organization started after their son, Rush passed away on December 21, 2022, from Acute Respiratory Failure, is now creating custom digital drawings and care packages for bereaved families of infant loss.

The couple shares with the magazine, “After

falling into a deep depression, we knew we needed to pull ourselves out of that hole. The best way we found to do it was to be open about losing Rush and creating Rush's Rainbows to help support others who have felt this horrible pain.”

Alas, Rush's Rainbows was created to support bereaved families of child loss, miscarriage, and stillbirths through their grief journey by showing them they are not alone and normalizing the grief experience. “It opened our eyes to the fragility and realities of life and how sometimes we do not have control. Everything can change at any given moment. However, it also brought us closer together as a family. We love deeper, we are more compassionate, and our priorities in life changed to focus more on family and life events.”

When asked about how this project helped with their grief and healing journey, the couple explained, “Helping others has given us a new focus that we lost after Rush died. It has helped pull us out of dark thoughts, and instead, gain a sort of satisfaction out of helping others.” The pair also talk about the importance of processing their loss, “When a person decides to coexist with their grief, beautiful things can happen.” Here at Get Griefy, we couldn’t agree more.

In the short time that Rush's Rainbows has been around, they had the honor of sending care packages to hundreds of families around the world. They have also partnered with numerous hospitals across the state of Indiana to provide grief support care baskets for immediate support in various departments that experience these terrible losses.

Jalen and Hannah, Rush’s parents, now serve as co-founders for this beautiful organization TO

A Mother's World Shattered Twice...

Venetta has survived, the worst life has to offer, in her unimaginable, heart-wrenching story of the sudden deaths of her only two children, just six months apart.

Suffering excruciating pain, and grappling with complicated grief and guilt, led her to dark places.

Then, in the throes of grief, she was completely blindsided by a cruel twist that shocked people around the world

Suspicions surrounding the investigation into Brandon's death, left Venetta on a path seeking justice for years. Devon's death also sparked mysterious lingering questions.

Writing this book and sharing her story has been an overwhelmingly cathartic experience. Healing is a choice Venetta had to make Despite grief being a lifelong journey, Venetta has learned how to navigate grief and has integrated the loss of her sons into her life as she continues on her healing journey.

Her remarkable resilience offers hope and comfort to other families experiencing the unimaginable.

Venetta's story will break your heart but leave you amazed and inspired!.

GriefAwakening

Alyse Dusseault, Reiki practitioner, Intuitive, Grief coach,andhostoftheGrief Awakening Podcast found herself redefining her life in 2020withanewdistinction: Pre-JaredandPost-Jared.

By:KeraSanchez

During that time, Alyse tragically lost her fiancé, Jared, in a highway accident, and her entire world shifted. Before this loss, Alyse had met Jared on Tinder in 2015, just as the dating appwasgainingpopularity.Sheoften reflects on that period of her life as one filled with safety and security. “What I loved most about our life together was having this deep knowing that this was my person. We were in this together, doing life until the end, and I felt so much safety in that.” Back then, that life included working out in their garage gym together, hiking, mountain biking, throwing frisbees at the park, and eating delicious meals. “We had so muchfuntogether!”

Now,shefacestherealitythatthatlifeis inherpast.“IjokethatIoftentalkabout myself pre-2020 in the third person because that part of myself feels like she existed in another lifetime” And it makes sense, because not only did Alyse lose the love of her life, but she also gained a profound skill: a connectiontospiritandlightenergy.

“After Jared passed all I wanted was to feel connected to him. So I began talking to him, and writing to him, and eventuallyaskedhimforsigns.Inoticed that I could hear him respond like little whispers in my ear, or feel his presence in the passenger seat of my car. Eventually, I knew he was not completelygone.”

As she ventured on her spiritual and grief journey, Alyse gleaned profound insights into what she believes occurs to our spirit after death. She credits this understanding and deep spiritual connection with aiding in her healing process.

Reflecting, Alyse also recounts with us howslowly,herskillsdevelopedabouta year into her grief process. When Alyse triedReikiforthefirsttimeafterafriend suggested it could help with some of the anxiety she was experiencing, she noticed the benefits immediately. “After one session, the anxiety completely went away! Soon, I knew that I wanted tolearnhowtousethismodalitytohelp others, and I decided to become certified as a reiki practitioner Becoming attuned to reiki further opened up my intuition. I was then not only able to tune into Jared’s energy more deeply, but I also began to be able to connect to other people's loved onesaswell.”

She shares that embracing her intuitive gifts has been both challenging and profoundly beautiful. “It takes a long time to learn to trust your own intuitive voice, let alone trusting what comes throughforothersaroundyou.”

"Reflecting on her journey, Alyse shares the tremendous effort it took to learn howtotrustherselfandhergifts,andto cultivate the confidence necessary to supportherclients.

Fast forward three years, and she now usesthesegiftstoassistotherswhoare navigating loss. She has also mastered the art of staying connected with their loved ones in spirit, achieving this throughvariousenergymodalitiessuch as Reiki, intuitive readings, and her personalized coaching program, Reignite."

WeaskedAlyseaboutReignite,andshe shared that the idea was a continued rendition of her existing grief coaching program she was running previously, just tweaked for the gap she noticed her clients were looking for. She describes the first container as nothing short of remarkable, “We worked together for 12 weeks learning how to build a new language with our loved ones in spirit, navigate changing relationships, trust our intuitive voice, and move forward with our loved ones instead of moving on without them.”

She also notes how much progress her clients made, “I watched them become so empowered, move through grief triggers with more ease, and get excited each time they received a sign orcommunicationfromtheirlovedone. Itwassosospecial.”

Now, nearly 4 years out from the worst day ofherlife,shereflectsonhowmuchshehas also grown. “Grief has taught me so much, and it has taken me a long time to come to aplaceofgratitudeforit.Griefandlosshave taught me how to savor and enjoy any moment of joy in my life I am given.” The intuitive also admires her grown sense of compassion and understanding, believing it creates the ultimate human connection. “it does not matter if they experienced the same type of loss you did or not, you can justfeelthattheyhavebeenwhereyouhave been. And I have so much love and compassion for them, there is an instant connectionthere.I’msogratefulforthat.”

quick tips for readers wishing to receive signs: Whenlookingtoreceivesignsormessages fromourlovedonesinspirit,mybiggesttip istoreleaseexpectations AndwhatImean bythatistoletgoofhow,what,orwhena signwillshowup.Soforexample,ifyouask toseeahummingbirdfromyourlovedone, but you tell them it has to be red, it has to arrivebySaturdayat3pm,andithastobe in the tree in your front yard, you are not allowing spirit much room to play! And spirit(ourlovedones)lovestoplaywithus! Let there be room for surprises, for it to show up in a completely unexpected way. Whenitdoes,itissomagical! Ask for your sign, and then release any expectation on timing, or how it is supposedtoshowup.

Resilience is a trait that needs t and pulled out oneself through t times. Unfortunately, Blair Kapl has had ample opportunities to this skill.

As the driving force behind Resilience Project, Blair hold accolades She was named the 'T Resilience Expert of the Year 202 and recognized as one of conscious female leaders to wa Today. To truly grasp the significa honors, one must delve into B which led her to become a succ motivational speaker, social med PR expert.

As a child, Blair spent her forma Winnipeg, Canada, amidst family turmoi triggered by her father's drug addiction. Thi struggle ultimately resulted in her parents divorce, leaving Blair with a childhood marked by her father's absence Blair reflect on this difficult childhood memory, “hi addiction led to his absence from our famil when I was just seven, leaving me feeling abandoned and unloved Growing up, I fel isolated, being one of the few kids with divorced parents in my community.” On th outside, Blair was vibrant, outgoing, and creative, but on the inside, she struggled with her broken family, and the problems he father’s addiction had caused in their lives.

During her adolescence and early adulthood Blair's entrepreneurial drive was sparked b her family's history of entrepreneurship. At the age of 12, she began her journey as an Avon representative, selling makeup door-todoor to earn her own income This was followed by an early career stint with Lululemon Athletica Additionally, through participation in intensive professional development workshops with Landmark Forum, Blair found inspiration to seek reconciliation with her father. This decision allowed them to mend their relationship and make up for the lost time.

”In my early 20s, I forgave my dad and we developed a beautiful relationship. He even walked me down the aisle, with my mom, at my wedding.” Yet, at the end of 2018, Blair and her family learned he was terminally ill Feeling lost, they started to reflect and talk more openly about his addiction, overcoming obstacles in their relationship, forgiveness, and resilience.

Their story inspired people to choose sobriety, fix relationships, and share their stories. Alas, The Global Resilience Project was born. “We decided to write a book and collect stories of resilience from around the world and started the book with my dad’s story and ended it with mine ” Noting that their story could still inspire people when Blair’s father was no longer physically here From the start of the project until the book came out, they grew a global movement and social enterprise by adding the Radical Resilience podcast, motivational speeches, inspirational merchandise, and community events; all of which teach people how to strengthen their resilience muscle.

Fast forward to the present, and Blair has faced numerous obstacles that, by all accounts, could have derailed her path to success After she grappled with her father's terminal diagnosis, her grandfather passed away in 2019, and on her way home from his funeral, she was involved in a serious car accident, resulting in a concussion and a challenging recovery period Shortly after, her husband, Shayne, suffered a heart attack and required open heart surgery, leaving Blair facing the prospect of a future without him. Fortunately, Shayne recovered, but their hopes of starting a family were shattered by infertility struggles and a miscarriage in 2020. Adding to the emotional toll, Blair's father-in-law passed away, and then her mother received a cancer diagnosis Tragically, her mother's health deteriorated rapidly, leading to her passing in 2021 after a swift decline Finally, Blair's father, who had been a cornerstone of her resilience journey, succumbed to his own battle in February 2022

BLAIR’S ROAD TO RESILIENCE

START OF HER CAREER AND THROUGH PROFESSIONAL DEVELOPMENT, BLAIR ACQUIRED THE SKILLS NEEDED TO FACILITATE A RECONCILIATION

DRUG ADDICTION BROKE APART BLAIR’S FAMILY AND CAUSED A STRAINED RELATIONSHIP WITH HER FATHER

BLAIR LEARNS THE VALUE OF HARD WORK AND A DOLLAR AT THE YOUNG AGE OF 12, SELLING AVON DOOR TO DOOR

WITH HER DAD

2018- BLAIR’S FATHER TERMINALLY DIAGNOSED

2019- THE GLOBAL RESILIENCE COMMUNITY BEGINS

2019- BLAIR’S CAR ACCIDENT ON THE WAY HOME FROM HER GRANDFATHER’S FUNERAL

2019- BLAIR’S HUSBAND SUFFERS A HEART ATTACK AND NEEDS OPEN HEART SURGERY

2020- BLAIR’S FATHER-IN-LAW PASSES AWAY

2020 - MISCARRIAGE

2021 - BLAIR’S MOM DIES

2022 - BLAIR’S FATHER DIES

Now, in her late 30s, childless and without her parents, she has found solace in sobriety and birdwatching, embracing a life that while different from what she once imagined, is rich with inspiration “My goal is to turn my pain into purpose, helping the world cultivate resilience and find gratitude in every moment My story and the stories we share through The Global Resilience Project, are testaments to the strength found in vulnerability and the unyielding power of the human spirit to overcome ”

As a grief and resilience expert, Blair shares her reflections on her journey, “I learned that life is full of moments of deep pain when you lose something or someone that you love The pain I experienced when I was young prepared me for what was to come The more painful the grief, the deeper the love ”

Due to this harsh reality, she also shares, “We humans are the walking wounded Gone are the days when we need to pretend we are okay when we aren’t. The sooner you admit or acknowledge that you are not feeling okay, the faster the healing can begin. The GRP is here to be a lighthouse in the storm and to provide a safe space for people to share their stories, learn from others, and navigate what life has tossed their way. ”

In March 2024, Blair launched her second book published by The Global Resilience Project, RESILIENT A F: Stories of Resilience, a sequel to their first book She describes the books as textbooks of resilience “The raw and real stories shared include advice on navigating a similar situation I want our community, and books, to be tools that can be used to speed up the healing journey ”

To purchase GRP Merch or learn more visit www.theglobalresilienceproject

Follow on Instagram

@globalresiliencecommunity

@blairfromblairland

When asking Blair about her goals that they aim to empower over 88 m her 40th birthday “I’m here to turn my pain into purpose and to help people overcome their challenges”

Blair ends our discussion with a big revelation, “Helping others helps me heal Losing our baby, father-in-law, and my mom in a few months, and surviving that, showed me how strong I really am. I put one foot in front of the other. I took days moment by moment. I did the work to manage the pain my heart was feeling I spent countless hours reading, learning, and implementing what I thought would work And it did So, I want to help everyone that I can because I know what that pain is life.”

Blair is currently living happily ever after(ish) in Canada with her husband Shayne, and their furry felines, Frey and Duffy. She maintains a close relationship with her sister and partner in (resilience) crime, Alana.

A Legacy Journal to leave behind love, advice and support for your loved ones, inspired by all the unsaid after unexpected loss. Includes 55+ unique journal prompts and freestyle space!

A memory/grief journal that prompts quirky and specific memories of our loves ones, insuring their essence safely kept forever! Includes 55+ unique journal prompts, letters to heaven, sign log and dream log! Created

Bir d cap: Griefy street art with Michael Roy

Michael Roy, otherwise known as Birdcap, is an artist from the bayous of southern Mississippi who creates visual masterpieces that are far from the norm. Mixing cartoon-like aspects with serious issues such as grief, mortality, and political upheaval, Roy creates colorful murals, paintings, designs, and mosaics that have gathered crowds at numerous locations nationwide. Birdcap, Roy’s signature character was developed and born in South Korea, and was inspired by the street art of culture he experienced while spending timeinthecountry.Michaelshareswith the magazine that he started to incorporate these themes specifically grief, into his work when his mom died and continued to do so with the death ofhisfather.

WrittenbyKeraSanchez

“I don’t know if I had much of an option, my work is pretty journalistic, andwhenmymomdieditwassucha wholly encompassing situation and process that there wasn’t going to be any work if I wasn’t able to process that.”Hegoesontoviewtheselosses in 2020, and 2022 as a precipitous transition into official adulthood. On top of his murals, prints, and paintings, Roy has also artistically createdsomethingthatdescribesthe grief experience, a comic book, walking readers through the journey thatisgrief.

“It’saloosenarrativeofmesortofgoingthroughtheprocessofgrieving,andit is a graphic novel. It follows this vague structure around meeting up for grief counseling sessions with the Grim Reaper and tangential short stories about different moments of grief that I was going through. ” He notes that the pages are nonlinear, akin to what he attributes to his process, normalizing the reality wegrieversfacewhenitcomestoloss.

This distinctive approach to processing and guiding others has been highly successful,leavingasignificantimpactonthosewhoengagewithhisworkand strikingachordwithmanywhohavesufferedloss.“Normally,peoplerespondto my art with a fire emoji, “cool” or taking selfies in front of my work but with something like this, people have written me letters and expressed how much theyappreciatethebook.”

When discussing Birdcap's future plans, he confesses that he's unsure but is certainhedoesn'twanttostayatthesamelevel.Heaimstoadvanceinbothhis career and personal development. Aware of mortality, he concludes by recognizingthelimitedtimehehastomakeanimpact.

To learn more or purchase a book visit: www.birdcap.store and follow him on Instagram @birdcap

DEATHOFTHEPARTYN.Y.C .

By: Kimberly Koland

In life, sometimes you show up in places or spaces wit “Here is the life of the party ” What if it were different? “death of the party?” Meet Melanie She is the hos turned community called Death of the Party

The inspiration for this came from Melanie's pe particularly her journey through grief One significan dad, who taught her that love transcends all bounda has actively sought friendships with those who unde experiences with loss

Moving to NYC brought new opportunities to meet peo that she found inspiration to use her experiences with In June 2023, Death of the Party began, drawing in tw The positive impact on so many attendees made potential for it to become a series, addressing a signif community she had in mind With activities to share chance to connect with others, one finds a place for g that grief is peaceful some days and loud other days a a natural part of life However, in the day-to-day lives is kicked under the carpet Creating a brave space community, for people to pick it up from under tha allowing it to shape lives while doing something recognizes that grieving isn’t a problem and Death mission to prove loneliness wrong when it comes to g need community to grieve well Rather than grieving a how we grieve differently, grieving with others similar further our healing journey

Melanie founded Death of the Party, an event series fo and their allies in NYC She hosts events that explor and express grief creatively in the community Peopl show up authentically and meet others who “get it ” A the Party hosts “Outings” with their community to publi education and grief spaces Invited are those who are education, supporting grievers, and end-of-life plan grief community to these outings Death of the Party with community resources and looks forward to their ne

To learn more about Death of the Party NYC visit: www.deathofthepartynyc.org and keep up on Instagram, @deathofthepartyNYC

Pictured: Melanie welcoming gueststoaDOTPevent

Pictured: grievers supporting grieversat a DOTPevent

The Power of Love Behind The Dee Dee Jackson Foundation

By: Kera Sanchez

Nothing can be compared to a mother's love. As we reach a stage in life where this physical love transforms into memories, we often feel lost, shattered, and uncertain about moving forward. This can be said for even the most well-known families, The Jacksons TJ, Taj, and Taryll Jackson, nephews of Michael and sons of Tito and Delores, understand all too well how much grief and loss can disrupt one's life and change our trajectory. Aside from their musical aspirations, the brothers have banded together for another reason: to honor their mom’s legacy and help others navigate loss

Get Griefy asked the brothers a little about how the organization got its start, and they expressed, “The Dee Dee Jackson Foundation started in 2015. We were looking for some way to honor our mom and her giving spirit As brothers, we wanted to start a charity in her name, but it seemed like such a daunting task Luckily, we were doing a television series, and when we told one of the producers that we wanted to start a charity in our mom’s name, not only did she know how to start a charity, she loved the idea. Her name was Henri Hebert, and she really helped in the beginning stages of DDJF ”

Taj, TJ and Taryll throughout the years, with the inspiration behind the organization, their mom, Delores

As this foundation was created in Delores’ honor, I asked the men a little more about Dee Dee and what she was like “Our mom was amazing She was such a huge role model in our lives. And her teachings as a mother, we carry with us every day. Everyone loved Dee Dee, and she was a motherly figure to anyone she befriended She was also the type of person who sincerely cared about everyone else and was constantly dedicating her time and energy to programs or charity events that specifically helped others ” They also add how humbling it is to carry out her legacy, “It feels incredible to honor her through this charity As her children, all we wanted to do was make mom proud, and we feel by doing good and leading by example, she would be proud of us. And that also helps with our grief because knowing that we’re making her proud changes the focus of our loss ”

The organization is focused on helping those going through the thick of grief and loss, and one of the most notable pieces of the puzzle is its program, The Power of Love Show They have now produced and released over 300 episodes of The Power of Love, which focuses on those living with loss and how they have coped. Reflecting, they share, “We’ve learned a lot through the show Especially with all the amazing guests that we have had on the show and the knowledge and stories they have shared We’ve realized that although everyone’s grief is different and there is no right or wrong answer to how to live with grief, we all are united by it and we can empathize and sympathize with each other We try to keep the show very light because grief is such a heavy topic. We really are there just to be a voice of comfort for these difficult times in someone’s life ”

Seeing as this organization is growing from one of the most musical families in the country, it also makes sense that they offer “Music Heals,” a musical therapy program for young people struggling with grief and loss They also have an online supportive community of people from all walks of life, coming together to support each other on their grief journey.

The organization is clearly making a big impact, and as of 2022, The Dee Dee Jackson Foundation received a “Certificate of Special Congressional Recognition” from Congressman Brad Sherman, in recognition of outstanding and invaluable service to the community.

To Learn more about this incredible community, please visit www.ddjf.org and follow them on Instagram

@deedeejacksonfoundation

As we end our interview, the brothers share, “If you are going through loss or grief, find a resource somewhere; it doesn’t have to be DDJF There are a lot of incredible resources out there that weren’t available when we lost our mom. So definitely find an external resource to help you navigate through that loss and grief because it can be very lonely otherwise, and no one should go through grief alone ”

The foundation’s interview style show, “The Power of Love” is available on Facebook, Youtube and most podcast streaming services.

Above: Young boys participating in “Music Heals”

Right: Certificate of Congressional Recognition from congressman Brad Sherman

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10dating mistakes widowsmake... andwhattodoinstead!

By:BraveWidow'sEmil

I thought I was going crazy. Three months after my husband of twenty years died, I was on dating apps. I knew there was no way I was ready to date again, but I was lonely. Desperately lonely. I was also curious.

Online dating wasn’t a thing back in 2000, and I had no idea what kind of men I would find online. Would they be “broken”? Full of baggage? Adult man-children? Who would want to take on a widow with four kids? Of all the scenarios I could think of, mine sounded pretty pathetic.

Over the next year and a half I would experience lots of ups and downs with dating. Waffling decisions, heartbreak, scammers, a relationship gone sideways…and the yearning for my husband back. I didn’t know how to date; I knew how to be a wife.

Fast forward to February of 2024. I’m married to the most wonderful man who fits perfectly in my family and vice versa. He’s the kind of man that works long, hard days and tells me not to worry about cleaning the house, because he wants to do it for me. The kind that loves my kids as his own. The kind my late husband’s parents fully embrace as their own son and can’t get enough of. The kind I never thought could exist because it sounded too good to be true.

I learned a ton from my dating failures and healing journey to get to this place and find the man of my dreams. Here are ten dating mistakes I see most widows make, and what to do instead. And if these resonate with you, be gentle on yourself. I made most if not all of these myself.

RUSHING INTO A RELATIONSHIP

Dating out of loneliness puts us in a place of searching from a void From a feeling of being incomplete Because we ’ re hurting and trying to fill a hole, we excuse away behaviors or interactions with others because “ no one is perfect” Instead: Build a life you love first; date second

LEADING WITH FEAR

COMMUNICATING TOO MUCH OR TOO LITTLE

Are you overly dependent on your new person? Are they acting as your therapist? While open communication is key, be mindful of making deep emotional connections if you sense that this is not a long-term match. Do you find yourself playing mind games with text response times? Do you communicate your expectations or hint at them? Instead: practice communicating clearly and openly. You can tell your life story; it doesn’t have to be on the first date.

Our thoughts can often work against us as widows dating again. We tell ourselves all kinds of unhelpful things like, “No one will want me ” , “The good ones are all taken”, and “I just have to settle now ” Instead: Work to build your self-worth. Take the time to list all the reasons why dating a widow can be a great thing! And create a mindset of abundance. There are many good potential partners for you, even if you don't see them just yet.

NOT HAVING OR KEEPING BOUNDARIES

Most mature men appreciate a woman who has standards and boundaries, especially if she holds to them. As women we tend to be agreeable, wanting to accommodate others especially if we are interested in a relationship with them. Instead: know that your boundaries are likely going to be tested, and resist the urge to people-please by not holding firm. Holding your standards will earn you respect.

NEGLECTING SELF-CARE

Do thoughts about dating consume your life? Are you exhausted from all of the “tell me about yourself” messages? Do you still allow time for other activities, hobbies, and pursuits? Has dating become part of your identity? With the convenience of dating apps, it’s easy to become compulsive about checking them Instead: pause dating and take a break

ENDLESS SWIPING ON DATING APPS

What a better way to spend an evening than cozied up on the couch in your PJs and looking through dating profiles? The challenge is that endless swiping gives us the illusion that we ’ re actively working to find our person. We’re putting in the time. Dating apps are the most popular way people meet these days, but only one of many. Instead: become visible. Think about the type of person you want to attract Where would they be? What things would they be doing? Go there and be visible.

ASSUMING THEY UNDERSTAND GRIEF

Dating a widowed person comes with unique positives and challenges. Most people culturally aren’t taught how to process loss and grief. We can’t fully grasp the impact of widowhood until it happens to us. Sometimes this can cause insecurity in the other person Are they good enough? Will they ever match up to the love you lost? You are only dating them because that person died, after all. Widows can get frustrated with the lack of understanding and need for reassurance and abruptly decide this person can’t handle dating a widow. Instead: educate the other person. The fact that they are willing to learn and listen is huge!

NOT ENJOYING THE PROCESS

If you ’ re starting to feel cynical (did someone pee in the dating pool?), it might be time for a break. Dating is full of challenges and struggles, but it should also be a fun process. Consider if you were put in a room full of 10,000 men. How many would you have to talk to, to find your person? 500? 1,000? 20? It seems daunting and like you’ll never find them. Instead: treat dating as if you ’ re running a marathon, not a sprint. I learned to appreciate the signs that showed me the person I was talking to wasn’t my person; it meant I could move on to the next one instead of wasting my time.

AVOIDING WORKING ON YOURSELF

Do you keep repeating poor relationship patterns? Attracting the wrong type of person? Are you familiar with attachment styles and how they impact your relationships? Repetitive cycles can cause a lot of frustration with dating, and you may even give up at times. Instead: prepare yourself first for a healthy relationship.

FOCUSING ON THE SHORT TERM

Do you want a relationship again? To get married? Companionship only? It can take us awhile to figure out what we want, and that’s okay Just know that not knowing what you want will create some extra volatility. Waffling, which I did often in the early days, causes some ups and downs. And while you ’ re figuring it out, avoid hookups and one-night stands. Casual intimacy comes with a price Instead: keep the short term short.

While it might seem like a lot of work and energy to develop healthy dating habits, finding the next love of your life is a big deal! It's an amazing opportunity to know yourself inside and out and to meet some amazing people, even if they don't end up becoming your next man.

xoxo-

Emily

LIFE, DEATH & THE SPACE BETWEEN

In our present society, we are coming to realize that individuals can embody two seemingly contradictory truths. Take Dr. Amy Robbins for instance—she is both a trained and certified clinical psychologist, and she also possesses mediumistic abilities. The host of the wildly popular podcast, “Life, Death & The Space Between” talks to Get Griefy about her background, her “unconventional” practices, and how accepting these truths has transformed her life.

How “woo” are you? Surely many grievers have contemplated the concept of continued consciousness after the death of their loved ones, and what happens after we die. It’ s only natural, and yet, for many years it was considered a taboo topic, something that left us embarrassed to admit.

And that is for the everyday person. For the community of academia, and well-studied scientists, who rely on data and proof, it’ s even harder to dip their toe into the pool of spiritual discussions for fear of losing credibility. This is where Dr. Amy Robbins comes in to share her story of duality.

After working clinically for over 20 years, she also decided to live her truth and talk about what most are quick to dismiss. “I have had a myriad of spiritually transformative experiences that opened me up to the world of spirit, and I decided to keep my day job as a therapist, but I was so passionate about bringing the spirit world to others.” Nearly 400 episodes later, you can say her podcast has been the gateway that many people needed to live authentic lives while carrying the mysteries of the universe.

Dr. Robbins shares with the magazine her clinical lens of why the study and acceptance of continued consciousness can be powerful. “It often isn’t until after someone significant dies that we think about what happens when we die. Usually, death is a concept we do our best to distance ourselves from for as long as possible but then we lose someone close to us and we start asking the larger questions about ‘where they could be?’ or ‘Is there something more?’ Some might say that believing there is something more is just a way to avoid dealing with grief and loss. I don’t see it that way. I think that it can be a tremendous tool to help not only in grief but also in life. It can help you have a new and different relationship with your loved one once they have crossed over. It gives people hope but also when you begin to open up, life becomes a mysterious, magical place as signs and synchronicities tend to show up in all kinds of incredible places.”

Amy explains that is what happened to her, after the death of her aunt, who she considered as a second mother. She admits that the loss hit her particularly hard and was the catalyst for her spiritual journey.

Since that loss that Amy experienced at the age of 18, she has also lived to experience many others and also sees grief and loss as something much more extensive too, “I think we experience grief in so many ways in our lives, whether a relationship ends, we changed jobs, move, have friendships fizzle out, and as children grow up and move on. I see all of these as losses that can leave us with that feeling of sadness and grief.”

Since starting her podcast, which provides an ever-growing library of resources to explore the complex synergy between the psychological and spiritual, Amy admits that the more you explore, the less you truly know for sure. “I think I have learned how little we actually know about consciousness and how much there is to explore. It is amazing to me how many people have had mystical, supernatural, unexplainable experiences that get dismissed. It can be frustrating that these qualitative experiences somehow get dismissed, despite being so prevalent. It is interesting to me that much of what I talk about is considered “new age ” yet these mystical experiences and many rituals are anything but new age. “

By: Kera Samchex

When asking Dr. Robbins about episodes that readers must listen to, she gushes, “You can ’t make me pick. I honestly have loved every episode I have put out. One of my favorite episodes is with Lionel Friedberg. He was told early on in his life about all these experiences he would have and they happened. I was not expecting the interview to go that way.

Also, I interviewed Dr. Jeff O’Driscoll and Jeff Olsen. One was an ER Doctor and the other was a man who came into that ER after a tragic car accident where he lost his wife and young child. and the doctor saw the ghosts of the child and wife before knowing what happened. A recent episode with my new friend Dr. Lenore Matthew about opening up to mediumship after the loss of her husband was incredible. I have another episode coming up with Nikki Mark about how she used spirituality in her grief after the sudden death of her 12-year-old son which is a must-listen. Her story about how she navigated her grief was incredible.”

Moving forward, Amy is excited to expand her network, as she is starting to work with Mental Health America, to integrate spirituality into the conversation about mental health. She is also working on an online course, that integrates much of what she discusses on her podcast through the lens of psychology and spirituality, designed for people who want to look more deeply at their life and find deeper meaning and connection. Dr. Amy Robbins is fearlessly venturing into realms that many clinical professionals hesitate to touch, embarking on a journey that illuminates spaces we urgently need to explore.

Dr Robbins is the Director of Mental Health at BIÂN (Be-on) and a Clinical Psychologist in private practice for almost 20 years Dr Robbins has experience in both traditional and energy psychotherapy and spiritual intuition She encourages people to awaken to and live their essence, using the wisdom of death in an unexpectedly positive way.

After the unexpected death of her aunt at a young age and a spiritually transformative experience with “the other side,” Dr. Robbins began a long journey into spirituality that has paralleled her clinical psychology work. Only 3 years ago, Dr. Robbins opened up to share her experiences through her podcast, Life, Death, and the Space Between, where she provides an evergrowing library of resources to explore the complex synergy between the psychological and spiritual – empowering you to know your true self and live a more fulfilling, connected life.

retail therapy

Acollaballabout makingjoyachoice andturningour messintoa message!

Get Griefy has partnered with One Decision Clothing Co. to emphasize the significance of choosing happiness.

Established by Dave & Kim Shingler, the brand symbolizes the idea that we are just one decision away from a completely different life! It reminds us that a fresh start is within reach, allowing us to pursue whatever fear may have previously held us back from.

Their clothing serves as a daily prompt to continually aspire to become the finest version of ourselves. It reassures us that regardless of the challenges we encounter, we are constantly just One Decision Away from a radically different life!

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LATINAS in death tech and beyond...

By: Kera Sanchez

MUJERES PODEROSAS MAKING WAVES IN THE VIRTUAL WORLD OF DEATH AND DYING

CHINGONA IS GETTING A REBRAND

OVER TIME, THIS TERM HAS GARNERED A NEGATIVE REPUTATION. MUCH LIKE DEATH, DYING AND GRIEF, THE WORD WAS AVOIDED. TODAY, THE WORD IS CIRCULATING LIKE WILDFIRE, AS A TERM OF ENDEARMENT FOR MUJERES WHO ARE UNAPOLOGETIC, INTELLIGENT, FEARLESS, AND WHO QUITE SIMPLY, GET SH*T DONE. THESE THREE WOMEN ARE RECLAIMING THIS TERM AND USING INSIGHTS GAINED FROM EXPERIENCES WITH DEATH AND GRIEF TO MAKE LIFE MORE SIGNIFICANT FOR THOSE COPING WITH LOSS THROUGH TECHNOLOGY AND SOCIAL MEDIA.

As a “newly initiated” Latina myself, I wanted to highlight this work Finding out that my mom was Mexican, nine months after her passing, was a seismic shift in my identity This revelation hit me especially hard because I am a Spanish teacher For nearly half of my life, I had been deeply connected to a culture and language that, as it turned out, was my own from the start. As the creator of Legacy Letters (Cartas de Legado), I understood the inherent significance of honoring my heritage and not letting my roots fade away with my mom. Celebrating my newfound "hermanas" in this journey became profoundly important to me

ESTRELLA QUIROZ

Last Farewells

Estrella Quiroz is on a mission to fill her passport with stamps, experiences, and the lessons that shape her journey ahead The Nicaraguan American is one of the visionaries behind Last Farewells, a deathtech platform with a vision to ensure that no words are left unspoken by anyone, anywhere.

Quiroz shares with us how her personal experiences and travels have deeply influenced her decision to build this platform. “I understand the impact a last message can have. Three days before my dad passed away, on my 18th birthday, he left me three voicemails. In two of them, he sang me happy birthday, and in the third, he said:

‘Hello, I hope a million angels and a thousand cherubs watch over you, sweetheart. This is your dad, Adolfo, speaking. I love you so much, Estrellita. Things will change soon, you’ll see. Goodbye.’

He didn't know he would pass away, I was shocked to hear him say these words, yet I still often, wonder what he would have said differently if he had.”

Following this, Estrella, born in the U.S., traveled to her motherland of Nicaragua for the first time to attend her father's funeral. She met many family members for the first time while saying goodbye to her dad for the last time. “There's a quote I love that says we all have two lives, and the second one starts when you realize you one. That week in Nicaragua m beginning of my second life and desire to see more of the world more memories with my loved ones

Estrella revealed that despite n much money, she discovered ways passport. She utilized scholars participated in study abroad often extending her travels to ne countries with backpacking adven exposure inspired her to change to Tourism & Hospitality.

By the time she graduated, she had visited 40 countries which helped her secure positions at companies like Goabroad and a luxury travel agency

As the pandemic unfolded, Estrella spent time with her grandparents in Nicaragua and found herself contemplating life and death "Thinking of death has taught me to live life with more color, across all aspects of my life” she shared. This newfound perspective fueled her drive to celebrate, to curate meaningful experiences for those dear to her, and to savor every moment to the fullest an enduring lesson that has evolved over the years.

The time she spent with her dying grandfather inspired her to take a new direction in her career, she now is the CoFounder & CEO of Last Farewells. Once again, her passion for creating this website and service was ignited by her travels and the diverse perspectives she encountered along the way.

“Traveling to places like Mexico and Bolivia, I've witnessed how different cultures embrace death with vibrancy and color, such as the Day of the Dead in Mexico or All Saints Day in the Philippines,” Estrella explains. “I've discovered that many cultures have unique and colorful ways to mourn and celebrate life. From African festivals where people dance to express their grief, to the myriad of rituals observed around the world. Death is the commonality all cultures share”

Using these rich experiences as a foundation, the Last Farewells platform aims to empower individuals to create and schedule heartfelt letters, videos, and personalized memorial pages These may include self-obituaries, last photo albums, final quotes, and more, all to be delivered to their loved ones after their passing Users can also schedule these messages for significant milestones such as weddings, graduations, birthdays, important dates, or immediately upon their passing

However, for Estrella, offering these services is just the beginning She envisions building a community where individuals can share the Last Farewells they've received from their loved ones This community would also serve as a supportive space for individuals to navigate grief and celebrate life together

“How do we continue moving forward? What's on our bucket list? What are the aspirations we still want to pursue in this lifetime?” Estrella ponders illustrating her vision for a platform transact support, users

The p a too a way encou g p g , sharing memories, and leaving behind a personal legacy in one's own words. Last Farewells is focused on celebrating life with gratitude, love, and intention. The application hopes to be available in 100+ languages.

www.lastfarewells.com

El Buen Duelo

In 2017 Marianto (María) Vergara packed her bags and embarked on a vacation to Malaysia and never truly unpacked her bags. It was also then that she found herself captivated by the extreme sport of Freediving. The newfound passion took its roots deep inside the Panamanian, and today, she currently holds the National Records for Panama in all-depth disciplines and some pool disciplines. She spends her time between the waters of Bali and Panama, living a nomadic and adventure-filled day-today.

Her journey into Freediving mirrors the depths of her life experiences., deep and profound. When Maria was just 19, she lost her younger brother Cris, and later in life, she grappled with the loss of a friend to suicide and another friend to cancer. For María, the ocean became a source of profound healing. Recognizing the valuable lessons grief had taught her, she felt compelled to share these insights with others.

In late February 2024, Maria’s vision that had been brewing for quite some time came to fruition. “El Buen Duelo”, a bilingual grief community and podcast launched in hopes of opening up this space and talking about grief and dying.

Maria shares with the magazine, “I want people to feel company, to realize they are not alone in their grief and their emotions. Each person’s grief is unique and singular, yet it is a universal and collective feeling that we all experience to one degree or another in different moments of our life.” Also adds, “Being aware of death and accepting it makes us live a more fulfilled life.”

Get Griefy asked María why producing this resource in both English and Spanish was so important and the bilingual Panamanian explained, “Currently the conversation about death and grief is shifting and becoming much more popular but this can be seen more in the US and/or Europe and only just beginning in Latin America. I want to be part of that movement, of opening up this “taboo” conversation and allowing people to connect, share, and learn about grief.”

There are striking parallels between María's passion for freediving and her exploration of grief. Both involve delving into darkness, experiencing profoundness, enduring pain, and summoning mental fortitude to persevere. Maria expresses, “Freediving is all about letting go and acceptance. If the ocean is choppy, if there’s a current, if there is more traffic to get to practice that morning, all those things will affect your diving - but you can’t control them The only thing you can control is how you feel about them. It’s the same lesson with i f W t h th ts that happened, we can only accept and , and grow from them.”

ow launched, and her diving career thriving, bbles rising to new heights in pursuit of her

FERNANDA REYES

Fernanda Reyes is a qualified ‘End-of-life Doula’, a daughter who lost her dad, and a wife who wants to have open conversations about death and dying.

She is also the creative mind behind evermore, the social community and platform aimed at helping you consciously prepare for dying and losing someone you love. Reyes reflects on her inspiration behind the brand, “I knew my dad was slowly dying since March 2022 when he had a heart related incident, triggered by lack of oxygen, which left him in hospital and unable to walk properly.” Living in London, UK, Fernanda jumped the pond to Mexico City to care for him. Something that changed Fernanda was viewing her father as physically deteriorating. “I still remember that initial shock of seeing my dad for the first time as a completely different man. Soon after, I realized as a society we do not talk enough about death. It is such a natural process, yet we avoid it. During this period, I started experiencing anticipatory grief and when my dad died, I felt somehow prepared for the journey of grief.” Fernanda now believes that coming to terms with her father’s death before he actually died, alleviated her grief after. Evermore was created out of this bittersweet experience.

Fernanda’s father later succumbed to Idiopathic Lung Fibrosis (IPF) in June 2022.

The Mexican-Bolivian shares that throughout the journey with her dad, she experienced duality, of both beauty and sadness. In these final days, she expresses how incredibly heartwarming and heartbreaking the memories can be. “I was present and proactive with my intentions. There will always be regrets, but I feel I have less. Upon reflection, there are aspects I wish I could have handled differently, and I aspire to use my experiences to support others in their own journeys.”

With that in mind, Evermore aims to help people within this ‘in-between’ space. For her, Evermore must address both the dying person and their loved ones. Fernanda explains, “Evermore is a mix of emotional and practical support. For you, for them.”

She believes the creation of this platform has made her feel less alone. “It is beautiful to see how so many people in the world are working on building something helpful and meaningful out of a challenging experience. It is truly inspiring.”

Fernanda also shares how much helping others has, in turn, healed her. She recommends that sentiment, as others transcend on similar journeys, “Create something that you wished would have helped you, based on your learnings and your experience. It i t th t it i t i -fits-all approach, but your story is valid. Be op . ”

The platform is currently under construction, but you can sign up to be one of the first to receive the tools evermore is preparing now! There is also a blog and social community growing now on instagram. To learn more, visit joinevermore.com evermore.beehiiv.com and follow on socials @join.evermore

Get Griefy Community Blog is a space for the grief community to share their grief experiences, art, writing and more. The inspiring, heartbreaking, and everything in between.

Jennifer Mullins - Poetry and Art

@the_bittersweet_journey

www.beautifulbittersweetlife.com

Jennifer Mullins (Phoenix, AZ) owns a tutoring and a photography business and the parent of three adult children. She enjoys nature, live music, doing photography for the Phoenix Film Festival, and meeting new people Her husband, Mike died of an accidental opioid overdose on March 13, 2012. Her mom died January 23, 2022, and her dad died six months later on July 24, 2022. Her 19-year-old cat, who her husband brought home as a kitten died in October of this year, severing one more connection to Mike. She shares her grief experience to help others who are walking this painful journey, just like she found helpful when her husband died.

Life is so fragile

Our hearts break open

Love spills out

Grief Wraps itself around us

Trying to protect us, to keep the world out

And yet, our hearts need love

Slowly, we find the safe people

To walk with us on the journey

Knowing that our hearts will be broken again

But longing for the warmth and joy

That comes from loving

Jennifer’s intuitive sketch and poem, “Life is so Fragile” are inspired by her life and the book The Collected Regrets of Clover

@Honeyjoonjewelry

www.honeyjoonjewelry.etsy.com

Honey is a Elementary School Teacher in Oah’u. She creates jewelry and mandalas as a creative outlet and a way to process many things, including grief.

“Creating mandalas is a way of meditation for me. When I create a piece of art, I go inward to a place of calm and focus on only the present moments and the lines that I’m drawing. All of my mandalas are done freehand. I do not use a compass, ruler, or any other tool to make the shapes Finding the center of the canvas or paper is the only thing I measure. This selfimposed challenge elevates my focus to new heights I’ve noticed that when my mind wanders to challenges or future uncertainties, slight deviations appear in the lines, disrupting the flow. Recognizing this, I consciously realign my focus. These mandalas serve as a reminder of our inherent imperfections, embracing the beauty within our flaws as humans.”

Erin and her husband, Bill live part-time in both Pittsburgh, Pa. and Naples, Fl. They lost their eldest son, Max, to suicide in June 2020 after a long battle with both mental and physical illnesses. His death devastated them as losing a child is every parent’s worst nightmare. His loss put Erin on the path to write a book about her experience titled, “My Unexpected Journey: Reflections After Losing my Son to Suicide” and to also become a Certified Grief Educator to help others with their own tragic losses. She offers online grief groups, community presentations, and one-on-one peer support.

The day my son, Max, died I was sitting on my porch surrounded by friends and family when a movement and noise in the bush outside caught my attention.

It was a bird flapping and squawking as if saying, "Here I am. Here I am. Don't miss me!" This little bird made return visits over the course of the next several days, and even in the weeks and months following Max’s death

It was like a little beacon of hope, a message from my Max from Heaven. For this bird to get my attention when I was consumed with shock, disbelief, and sorrow is remarkable I don’t remember much from those days following Max’s death, but the visit of my bird made an indelible impression on me.

Often when a loved one passes, those left behind see birds, butterflies, rainbows, or other reminders of beauty and love It might have been easy for me to ignore or miss this bird in my confused and angry state and I’m so very grateful that I didn’t.

When I was in the process of working with my graphic designer and illustrator, Sarah Nelsen, for my book, she suggested we make my little bird the theme. She created six original illustrations that appear throughout the book and bring beauty to the heavy content. I love these illustrations and what they represent – my sweet boy bringing me love, comfort, and hope from beyond.

TAUGHT

ME ABOUT Mind, Body, and Soul

By: Lenore Matthew, PhD, MSW

In 2020, my husband unexpectedly passed away. When he crossed over, I, like many of us, began receiving signs and visceral communications – many of them objectively verifiable. These communications affirmed his continued presence and helped guide me through unfathomable pain and loss.

I am a Dr. of Social Work and a mental health practitioner as well as a researcher trained in evidence-based practice. The last few years have been a complete surrender to grief and all that came with it –including an opening of my intuitive abilities and connection to spirit and soul in the wake of his passing. In that surrender, I leaned into my scientific training and social work background, as well as opened up to new ways forward in understanding the mind, body, spirit, and soul, and how they work together.

From this experience, I learned several lessons, which have carried me forward through reconstructing my life – and finding tremendous light, joy, and meaning in life again.

Here are five of those lessons, which I share with you here.

OUR INTUITION USES OUR BODY TO PHYSICALLY EXPRESS ITSELF – AND LEAD US TO OUR HIGHEST GOOD.

Stomach flutters, tight muscles, patterns in breath. These are all ways that intuition “speaks” through the body. When my body says “no,” my entire being is saying “no.” Conversely, when my body says “yes” (no matter how subtly) then I’m all in.

In my journey of healing through loss, I learned to identify, listen to, and trust my intuition more than I ever have before. And as I’ve listened – it has yet to lead me astray.

Most importantly, I’ve learned how to listen to my inner knowing and tune in –really tune in – to what I need to calm my body, ease my shattered heart, and find who I am after losing my late husband.

My intuition, along with my husband’s signs, led me to my new home in Hawaii, where I relocated a year after he passed. My intuitive knowing and connection to higher guidance led me to the people and practices that have helped me rebuild my life after absolute destruction. Critical to grief healing, my intuition guided me to understand why my husband is no longer here in the physical world and helped me pick up the pieces and find purpose and meaning in the aftermath.

With so much validation, and feeling so good when I follow my gut instinct, I’ve gotten to a point where my body and intuition are now what I base all decisions on. I’ve found a flow that feels really, really good – so much so that I never want to let it go. As I settle into this flow, fear, guilt, and people-pleasing have, in turn, taken the backseat. Operating primarily on intuition might not seem logical or make sense to others. And that’s just fine. I trust that my intuition is guiding me toward what is always right for me. With that, I've learned to pass the reins to my intuition, trust with conviction, and let go for the ride.

WE ARE OUR OWN BEST HEALERS

Our bodies and intuitive selves know which healing interventions feel right – and which don’t. Certain natural mind/body/spirit interventions help strengthen that connection to our inner knowing, while also healing the body and mind. Through grief, I fell in love with yoga and meditation, which were my saving graces in the first months after my husband died.

I also deepened my work with Reiki and other forms of energy healing, hypnotic visualization meditation, and Solfeggio Frequency sound healing. Further, through the meditative practice called “sitting in the power,” which psychic mediums use to train, I deepened my own practice of communicating with my husband, my ancestors, and my guides on the Other Side. I also got to know my own soul even more. And wow! She is something!

All of these practices have helped me regulate my nervous system, settle into my emotions, process what I was feeling, and deeply connect to my own inner self and soul.

HEALING IS A MULTILAYERED ONION

I’ve come a long way in my healing journey since my husband passed in 2020. And in that journey, I learned that healing is never done and dusted. Healing is an ongoing, neverending, non-linear process of falling down and getting back up again when we can.

The body, mind, and soul will always encounter new pain and obstacles. And in trauma, the past may re-emerge months and even years after a traumatic experience was endured. What’s more, as we lean into healing the pain of grief, old wounds resurface in new ways: opening up to moving through grief opens us up to working through what’s underneath as well.

The key is learning tools that keep us safe and mitigate catastrophe, to allow us to observe the pain and let it pass, rather than the pain taking us over.

I still have moments of breakdown. But thanks to the cumulative effects of the healing work I’ve done, as well as my knowledge about how to regulate my body and keep myself safe when the pain is retriggered, the waves don’t hit as often. And when they do, they don’t last as long nor are they as catastrophic as they once were.

AS WE LET OUR INTUITION LEAD, OUR IDENTITY EXPANDS AND SHIFTS.

When your person dies, so much of you dies with them. My husband and I were a couple for thirteen years. He passed when we were in our mid-thirties. So much of who I was as an adult was tied to my husband and me. In the years following his passing, I underwent a complete overhaul of who I am.

And in trusting my intuition in that process, I woke up to who I’ve always been underneath it all.

I’m no longer a wife (at least not in the same sense); I am now a widow. I no longer live by a strict five-year life plan. Instead, my gut, my loved ones on the Other Side, and other spiritual energies I can see, feel, smell, and hear, but not touch, guide me.

I no longer work in the policy world, which is what I did before my husband passed. Today, I blend science and spirit to help people find their way forward after trauma and loss.

My human ego has needed nurturing and love as I’ve moved through this process of shedding skin and coming into my own. Our egos activate when they’re trying to protect us, after all.

Yet I’m learning that when we surrender to our intuitive knowing, we open up to becoming so much more than we ever could have imagined. The happiness and joy that we experience when we’re embodying our true selves (i.e., what we incarnate to be and do) trump any fear or false expectation of who or what we “should” be.

When we’re embodying our true, authentic selves, it just feels right.

WHO I’M BECOMING HAS ALWAYS, INTUITIVELY, BEEN A PART OF ME.

As I settle into who I’m becoming, I’m realizing that it not only feels good—it feels familiar.

It’s comfortable.

It’s natural. It flows.

It’s what lightworkers often refer to as “coming home to yourself.”

For me, this coming home is understanding that somewhere deep within, I was always this spiritual being. Although I had no way of seeing it before, I was always someone who straddles the pragmatic and the ethereal. It’s just that my life circumstances, as painful as they’ve been, fast-tracked me to uncover my path. In the wake of loss, which obliterated all inhibitions, I felt I had no choice but to lean into higher guidance. With time, I settled into my authentic being without shame, guilt, or fear.

Letting my intuition and soul guide me is what allows me to move freely and confidently through the waves of change ushered in through grief.

As I moved through acute loss in the first few years, and the waves of grief after it, my guiding mantra in rebuilding my life and living again has been: If it feels right in my body, my gut, my spirit, and my soul – then, it is.

Lenore Matthew, PhD, MSW is a Doctor of Social Work with expertise in grief and trauma, as well as spiritual healing and the afterlife. Today, Dr. Matthew uses a blended science-meetsspirit approach, to help people move through pain and trauma, and connect to their own soul and intuitive abilities to find light, joy, emotional freedom, and life purpose. Her work has been featured by the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), Mental Health America, Helping Parents Heal, and Brainz magazine, among others. Find out more about Dr. Matthew and her work at www.drlenorematthew.com.

Give yourself the gift of discovering and processing all of the unmet expectations, hopes, and dreams from your loss in a safe, confidential space.

TheGrief RecoveryMethod

Developed and refined over the past 40 years, The Grief Recovery Method teaches you how to recover from loss and release pain from a new, or a longago loss It is the first evidence-based grief recovery program

www.energym.org

By: Michele Mariscal, PhD

available online and in one-toone support or group support

BY TORI KNUDSEN

My youngest sister Grace Lewis was born on November 10th, 2001. She was the youngest in our family of four girls. She was such a light and brought so much joy to all who knew her. Grace loved Jesus with all her heart. She valued relationships very much and was dedicated to her family and friends. Grace was always willing to listen to people and be a shoulder to cry on. She was very sympathetic and kind. She loved coffee, plants, sunsets, and thrifting. She also enjoyed a variety of music, traveling, and being at the beach

Grace was told in January 2022, after an almost five-year battle of fighting Ewing Sarcoma cancer, that her cancer had spread, and there was nothing more that they could do for her Grace passed away on August 6th, 2022 She was my best friend and one of my biggest supporters in life She was an incredible daughter, sister, and friend She is missed every day

In February 2022, I was sitting in a coffee shop with her and one of our other sisters Getting coffee is something we as a family enjoy doing and Grace was absolutely in love with the art of coffee. Grace had her oxygen bag with her so she could be comfortable as she was very weak.

As crazy as this sounds, the three of us start talking about funerals. My other sister and I started talking about things we’d want at our funeral, just so the conversation could be more light for Grace. I remember thinking how this conversation wasn’t awkward.

It may seem odd to hear, but I think because we knew that Grace was going to die, it brought comfort to talk to her about the process a little bit. I felt more confident that by having this conversation, we would be able to do things that not only honored her well, but also have things at her funeral that Grace would actually love. The one thing I remember Grace being adamant about is she didn’t want people wearing black to her funeral. During our conversation, in her truest self, she proudly proclaims, “This should be a celebration about me! Don’t wear black and be a downer about my life!” The three of us gave a good laugh and told her that we would make sure that happened She smiled and said “Good” as we moved on to other topics

The next several months were brutal as Grace slowly declined Grace was incredible through it all and lived her final days as best she could She spent time with friends and family, watched lots of classic movies, spent time in God’s word, and listened to mom read out loud to her We are thankful that she passed away peacefully in her own bed at home.

Grace’s funeral was only 3 days after she passed so many details had to be prepared quickly. When we announced the funeral details, we made it very clear that Grace didn’t want black to be worn at the funeral. I am happy to report that everyone honored that request. To be honest, I think it helped make the weight of the event a little lighter.

I was able to find a dress the day before the funeral that I knew she would have loved. It was light orange, pink, and purple with flowers all over the dress. Grace loved flowers and also sunsets, partially the purple-pink kind. Once I saw the dress, I knew that this was the perfect dress to honor her, and wore it proudly to her funeral.

So many people who attended her funeral made comments about how they wore something that they felt would honor her. It was such a good way for everyone to express the love they had for Grace and a way we could all feel closer to her on that day. I am very thankful that we chose to honor her wishes in this way. I know deep in my soul, she knows we didn’t wear black and that it makes her smile.

"DON’T

WEAR BLACK AND BE A DOWNER” -GRACE

In Dec of 2023, I felt a press on my heart that I needed to start sharing Grace’s story and my journey. I knew I wanted to talk more about grief and show others that having hope after loss is possible. I have since created my Instagram page and started sharing my story. I am making this a space for ALL grievers, and also to teach people about grief who maybe haven’t experienced loss yet.

I am honored to be sharing Grace’s story, and I am hoping that by doing so, while also offering hope to others, I can be a light in someone’s very difficult situation. I plan to be offering a guide on how to care for yourself well during grief. So many grievers do not care for themselves well because they feel unsure of how to best handle their grief. I want to help in this way and I am very excited to be offering that guide soon. If you or someone you know has experienced grief of any kind, please follow my Instagram at @livingouthope to be a part of a community that sees and understands your pain, and can be given encouragement for the challenges you are facing.

Tori Knudsen is a Christ follower, married to her husband for 11 years and together they have two beautiful girls, who are 8 and 5. Tori shares her Grief journey and the loss of her Sister, Grace with her community @livingouthope on Instagram.

Grace(left)andTori(right))

ME

OSCA

BY: KERA SANCHEZ

Oscar Guerrero is the “OG” behind The Mended Man podcast, from Trauma to Triumph. Yet to mend, one must first be broken, and Oscar has had his fair share of shattered pieces to pick up. When Covid was starting its lockdowns in March of 2020, Oscar and his wife Rebecca were also living their own personal nightmare, the accidental drowning death of their 2-year-old son, Ollie in their family pool.

Oscar reflects with the magazine today that the past 4 years have been difficult yet incredibly rewarding. Expressing the spectrum of emotional stages ranges from those of deep sadness and “dad guilt”, to depression, addiction, self-reflection, exploration, self-acceptance, growth, and maturation. Now he is on a mission to share what he’s learned, so other Bereaved Fathers and men in grief can be inspired to heal and find purpose & meaning by working on themselves, their faith, their families, their fitness, and their ambitions.

Oscar expresses, “As a bereaved Father, I really struggled with the loss of identity (being a Father) and I felt like a failure for a long time. Those feelings led to addictions to suppress my pain and generally not feeling like a worthy man, husband, father, provider, etc ”

After struggling for some time, Oscar had hit his breaking point and faced his rock bottom moment. “I remember one afternoon in July 2021, laying in bed, probably high on marijuana, and seeing my reflection in the mirror. I hated the person looking back at me. I felt regret and disappointment; this was not the Man I told Ollie I would be for him. He wouldn’t be proud of his Papa like this. That day I decided it was time to get it together, begin healing, and not allow my pain to rule my life anymore. I sought help and committed to pushing the boundaries of my personal development.”

Oscar and Rebecca’s son, Ollie

He believes that the loss of his son has given him a new perspective on life and death, mortality, and how unpredictable and short our time on this earth truly is He tells us his goals for his podcast, “I hope that it reaches those men who are struggling through something and they take away 1 or 2 insights to begin making real positive change in their lives.”

Oscar wants to show his listeners and followers that there’s hope and transformation on the other side of the hard work that is healing.

He adds, “We also want to support the mission of creating more present Fathers, more passionate and communicative husbands, and all-around more purpose-driven men, in a time when I believe society needs more of them to show up for their families and future generations.”

Oscar is also working on expanding his grief support bereavement group for men, “Mended Man Inner-Circle”. The magazine noted how this male presence is a minority in the grief space, and Oscar agreed. “It’s surprising. Even many of the online grief groups for men, I thought were mediocre and kept many guys stuck in their pain. I believe it’s a great responsibility and opportunity to show grieving men that we can demonstrate strength through vulnerability and develop resilience from life’s adversities. In my experience, too many men suffer in silence. Society has sold them the lie that they shouldn't cry. They shouldn’t be vulnerable. That they’re alone and must keep face.”

He is now on a mission to change that narrative, and continue to inspire grievers, and those struggling to live a more fruitful and enriching life. While this road to passion has not been an easy one, he ends by sharing, “One of my greatest accomplishments is reviving the passion in my marriage and becoming stronger together after everything we ’ ve been through.”

R E A M

“I met my mother for the first time in a dream two weeks after she died. This meeting happened during the wee hours of the morning in those precious few moments that allowed me respite from the elephant that had taken up residence on my chest She was different, yet the same There was a solidness about her that had been missing in those last months of life populated by unending physical pain, terror-filled nights, and childlike innocence that had broken my heart. We walked down a gravel road while her body lay a thousand miles away in a morgue in Silver Spring, Maryland. As we walked, we talked. When I asked her why she had died, with the composure of a philosophy professor, she said “it was part of the plan” I was furious and might have cussed her out In either case, I abruptly ended the visit We did not meet again for many months Since then I have had over 200 visitation dreams with my mother She tells me happy birthday on my birthday, she gives me advice on my relationships, my life path and just checks in to see how I am doing. This is the type of relationship I have with my mother today and this is not a one off case scenario Many people are able to continue their relationship with their loved ones through dreams if they are committed to learning the skills ” D R E U N I O N S

If you have ever wished for more, consider you might just be a REM cycle away.

Ning Tendo, a published poet, grief guide, spiritual healer tells us how.

By: Kera Sanchez and Ning Tendo

Ning Tendo carries an impressive resume, having earned a degree in Mathematics & Economics from UCLA and a Master’s in Psychology, Spirituality & Mind-Body Practice from Columbia University Despite this, there are still some who doubt what she argues, that we possess the ability to connect with our dead loved ones by simply putting our head to the pillow.

Ning describes this gift as an intersection between her practice with Tibetan dream yoga, Spiritual Healing and Constellation, shamanic breathwork, Africa mourning and grief rituals, Grief Models, and Western sleep and dream science Her life’s work is to inspire people to develop a softer relationship with death and grief by learning how to consciously venture into their pain, evolve relationships with their dead loved ones, and extract the medicine, soul gifts and purpose hidden within their grief

All of this is of course inspired by her own grief journey, after Ning lost her mom to Heart failure in 2018. She confesses, “The death of my mother manifested my worst nightmare. The foundational structure of my onality core beliefs, self-images, assumptions about the way the d was supposed to work crumbled.” I’m sure many readers can te

ough her conversations with grief, she discovered that there is ething within us that refuses to be broken and pushes us towards gration and self-actualization In her attempts to make sense of an thomable situation, she uncovered a latent talent for poetry, found pose, and gained a passport into other realms of reality, where she d continue her relationship with her mother. Ning shares with us that e from those gifts rising to the surface, she has also absorbed a few er things.

’s grief helped her see a pattern: Every period of intense disruption in life, each trauma she had experienced and embraced equipped her new skills, abilities, different worldviews that expanded the boundaries of her life and catapulted her into a new chapter Moreover, each ‘gift’ from a dark phase served as input to help her go through the hase. She realized everything was interconnected. Soon, she l as though her life was one giant jigsaw puzzle and periods of nd pain contained missing puzzle pieces. She shares, “Looking ce, my life began to feel more like a planned quest instead of t of events Perhaps there was a method to this madness With on of each quest, a new puzzle piece was retrieved, and my ath had uncovered many critical pieces As I assembled the her a picture of purpose began to unfold ”

ares with the power of her learned dream reunion skills, “I ve a rich and ever-evolving relationship with my mother. She own adventures but is still a very active part of my life, and ng dicey periods to offer support and guidance. Of course, t negate the pain from her physical absence which still hits me every now and then but when that happens, I know how to

Ning is now making it her mission to open these doors to other grievers

“The work I do with visitation dreams as a means to reconnect with our dead loved ones shines the torch of awareness on a part of grief that is never fully explored or spoken about. A visitation dream from your deceased loved one can serve as an anchor, inspire hope, give context to a bleak period in your life when everything is shrouded in darkness, and grant you the courage needed to fully inhabit your grief and rewrite your story after loss Even one visitation dream is enough to radically transform the trajectory of your life because it opens you up to existential questions like what the nature of reality is, the meaning of life, and purpose ” In addition, she helps people to learn how to grieve in a new way using the healing power of dreams Ning believes that dreams support the griever on their grief journey by offering a bridge that keeps you connected to your loved one, a shortcut to healing, and support. She clarifies that “this is not meant to negate the deep pain people are feeling from their physical absence, but as a way to balance out the finality of death with an opportunity to reconnect that will provide nourishment and inspiration for your grieving process ”

The Cameroon native currently resides in Nebraska, and aside from her work in Dream Visitations, she enjoys sand volleyball, reading, fantasy movies, hot yoga, and gaming with friends and family.

To work with Ning or to learn more about her offerings, visit www.dreamreunions.com

Follow her on Instagram @ning tendo

What happens when a hospice social worker and a newly widowed wife put their heads together to tackle a problem that no one wantstotalkabout?The answer, of course, is a party trick centered around making conversations about death and dying more approachable: TheDeathDeck.

By:KeraSanchez

Lisa Pahl and Lori LoCicero met through unfortunate circumstances, as Lori’s husband, Joe, was facing a terminal diagnosis of pancreatic cancer. As they entered the final stages of his life, the couple decided on hospice, where Joe spent the last few weeks of his life in the comfort of his home and with his family. Lisa, the social workerassignedtotheircase,sawhowtirelesslyLoricared for and made decisions for Joe, even when she didn’t always know the answers. Lisa recalls what the situation was like for Lori and her family: “Lori had many questions aboutwhatwouldbebestforJoeduringthistime.Loridid abeautifuljobwiththeinformationshehad,providingJoe with what she inferred he would want. After his death, I provided bereavement support for Lori. We talked at length about the many questions that remained in her grief. Did she honor what he would have wanted? Could she have done more?” Grief support for Lori continued to be provided, and years later, Lisa received a call from Lori asking to meet up for coffee. The pair developed a friendship and began talking about the fact that people areeitherafraidorunsureabouthowtotalkaboutdeath.

Lisa(left)andLori(right), creatorsofTheDeathDeck

p wn sim he fie or tho gh the me hasexpandedherhorizons: PriortodevelopingTheDeath Deck, I loved my job as a hospice social worker, but I wasn’t very involved in the end-of-life space outside of clocking in and out for my job. I knew I wanted to help people die better, but I wasn’t sure what I could do. After launching The Death Deck, I became immersed in the world of death and dying and have met the most incrediblehumansinthisspace.Iaminspireddailybythe innovative and creative work that others are doing and havedevelopedrichfriendshipsoutofthisworkaswell.”

dying, making it easier to talk about and prepare for this final stage of life. People play “The Death Deck” as a party game, a conversation tool, a way to start advance careplanningconversations, andaspromptsfortaskslike estate planning. There are questions about general thoughts related to death, personal beliefs and desires related to dying, and death preparation and advance careplanning. se ly or ny his ss ng es, rs as ck ce nd

Now, Death Deck is committed to normalizing death and dying conversations in the community They’ve partnered with other endof-life professionals to create events that focus on bringing death and dying conversations out into the open, such as co-hosting a monthly Silent Book Club of Death and Death Over Drafts, currently occurring in eleven states and Canada This community event is often hosted by a death doula or other end-of-life workertosparkcuriosityand connection around death and dying. Typically taking place in the casual atmosphere of a brewery, participants play with the Death Deck and their latest addition,theEOLdeck.

Reflecting on their journey, they agree they have talked to all walks of life and learned the most interesting things about death and dying Lori closes with this, “Along with stories, I almost alwayslearnsomethingnew or gain a new perspective Players sometimes interpret our questions in their own way, leading the conversations down paths I hadn’t thought of or even knew existed I’ve learned fascinating things about traditions surrounding death and grief and particularly enjoy stories of people receiving ‘signs’ from their deceased loved ones. Being lovingly surrounded by so many distinct and perfectly timed signs from my late husband Joe, I find comfort and camaraderie with every signstorytold.”

Their products are currently being used with healthcare workers, senior centers, advance care planners, estate planners, and endof-life care, but the most important customers are families and friends who share about their game nightsandhowhavingthese conversations has helped them not only plan ahead but also feel closer to one another

LisaandLorienjoyingconversationswithothersfacilitatedbytheirdeck.

GETGRIEFY

LETTERS TO HEAVEN

TO: POPPY

LOVE: MAMA

TO MY DEAR, SWEET POPPY. IN A PERFECT WORLD, YOU WOULD BE TURNING TWO THIS SPRING. I CAN'T BEGIN TO SAY HOW MUCH I MISS YOU. YOU ARE FOREVER LOVED, BABY GIRL. XO, YOUR MAMA

Asawaytofundthispublication, startingat$5youcansubmita 200wordmessagetoyourloved onetopublishinthemag! Topurchaseclickhere!

IBirthdaymessages

Lmissyous eifeupdates tc.

LETTERS TO HEAVEN

TO: DAD

LOVE: ESTRELLA

Asawaytofundthispublication, startingat$5youcansubmita 200wordmessagetoyourloved onetopublishinthemag! Topurchaseclickhere!

YOUR DEATH HIT ME HARD,BUT IT CHANGED MY LIFE FOR THE BETTER BY INSPIRING ME TO DREAM BIG. THANK YOU FOR THE SIGNS YOU HAVE SENT ME THE PAST 10 YEARS AND THANK YOU FOR YOUR PROTECTION. PLEASE KEEP GUIDING ME ON MY JOURNEY WITH LAST FAREWELLS. IT'S BEEN SCARY TO BE AN ENTREPRENEUR,BUT I THINK ABOUT THE COURAGE YOU HAD IN IMMIGRATING TO THE U.S AND I REMEMBER... I HAVE YOUR COURAGE IN MY DNA. I MISS AND LOVE YOU. EVERY SEPTEMBER 4TH I CELEBRATE YOUR BIRTHDAY AND EVERY NOVEMBER 11TH I HONOR YOUR DEATH. YOU WILL NEVER BE FORGOTTEN... YOUR LAST VOICEMAIL TO ME IS THE BLUEPRINT FOR LAST FAREWELLS. I CAN NEVER THANK YOU ENOUGH FOR THIS GIFT.

FROM,YOUR PRINCESA

Thank you for reading! Lemons

Making the most out of the curveballs life throws our way

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