GRP x GG Collab Q1 2025

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At Get Griefy Magazine, our mission is to illuminate the path to healing and hope for those navigating the profound journey of loss. We are dedicated to creating a compassionate and empowering space where individuals living with grief can find solace, inspiration, and a sense of community. Our commitment is to go beyond the conventional narratives surrounding grief and loss, acknowledging that life after loss is not only about mourning but also about embracing the strength to live fully. Get Griefy Magazine seeks to redefine the conversation around grief, providing authentic stories, expert insights, and practical resources that empower our readers to navigate their grief journey with resilience and purpose. We aspire to foster connection and understanding, bridging the gap between those who are grieving and the support they need. Through a blend of heartfelt narratives, expert advice, and uplifting content, we aim to inspire our readers to not only survive but to thrive in the face of loss. Get Griefy Magazine is more than a publication; it is a lifeline for those on the path of healing. Join us as we navigate grief together, fostering a community that celebrates life, resilience, and the enduring spirit that emerges from the depths of loss.

Disclaimer:

Copyright Statement:

The content presented in this magazine is intended for informational and educational purposes only. The topics discussed, including death and dying, are sensitive and subjective in nature. The information provided is not a substitute for professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Readers are encouraged to seek the guidance of qualified professionals in relevant fields for personalized assistance.

All stories in Get Griefy Magazine are protected by copyright and are the intellectual property of Get Griefy, or the respective copyright holders, as indicated. Reproduction, distribution, or any form of unauthorized use of the content without the explicit written permission of Get Griefy is strictly prohibited.

The views expressed in individual articles are those of the respective authors and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the magazine or its editorial team.

While we strive to present accurate and up-to-date information, the dynamic nature of topics related to death and dying may lead to changes in understanding over time.

Readers are urged to exercise their own discretion and judgment when applying the information provided in this magazine to their specific circumstances. The magazine and its contributors disclaim any responsibility for any adverse effects or consequences resulting from the use of information presented herein.

Inclusion of any specific product, service, or organization in our content does not imply endorsement or recommendation. Readers should independently verify and evaluate the suitability of such entities for their individual needs.

The articles on this platform are either authored by human writers or generated

by AI. Articles without a listed author have been written by AI. In cases where human authorship is noted, the content has been edited and enhanced with the support of AI technology. While we strive to ensure accuracy, relevance, and quality, AI tools play an integral role in the creation and editing process.

By accessing and reading this magazine, readers acknowledge and agree to the terms of this disclaimer. If you are in need of professional assistance or experiencing a crisis, please seek help from qualified professionals or emergency services.

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GET GRIEFY MAGAZINE

Editor-In-Chief and Founder Kera Sanchez

Co-Editor and Writer Blair Kaplan Venables Contributors:

Special Correspondant Stephanie Sarazin

Cover Feature Photography Rony Armas

Tara Accardo Crystal Adair-Benning Carlease Austin Erin Blechman Melissa Botteroff-Arey Lou Bowers Becki Chandler Saskia Christian Venetta Cox- Mlynczyk Juanita Cummings Crystal Dalton Melissa Deally Shawn Dinneen Elreacy Dock Deborah Drummond Parul Dua Makkar Sandi Duverneuil Annah Elizabeth Jenn Fredricks Angie Hanson Jan Janzen Casey Kang Moira Khan

Susan Kouraris Mary Beth Lacy Barri Leiner Grant Amanda McKoy Flanagan Irma Prosser Liz Quinn Susan Repa Kimberly Rich Jessica Rios-Flores Amy Ripley Nina Rodriguez Nalda Seidman Amy Singleton Stacy Stevens Susie Stonefield Jasmariah Swenson Dr. Heather Taylor Amy Thurman Karen Whelan Shea Wingate

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Our heartfelt thanks to our legacy donors for 2025. Your generosity has brought "Get Griefy" to life, providing vital support and resources to those navigating grief.

Your commitment ensures we can share stories and offer solace to those in need. Thank you for being the heart and soul of "Get Griefy."

Ann ah E lizab et Hear t Wise h, Heal ing S olutio ns, LLC

Become a Legacy Donor for 2025: -Includes your name on our wall of stars -A printed copy of Get Griefy each quarter To purchase a spot visit our buymeacoffee page

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THE COLLAB I S S U E Q1 2025 08 Editor's Note From Kera and Blair 12 Live Like You Mean it (Start with your Obituary) 14 Puzzle Pieces of Grief—Rebuilding Together

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18 From VHS to Vital Connection 21 From Grief to Giggles—Finding Humor in Grief 23 Grief and Grit— Laugh, Cry and Build your Comeback Toolkit 28 Grief is a Rebranding Tool 32 A Final Round—Lessons from my Last Game with Dad 35 Play Ball—A Not-so-Serious Guide to Grief 39 Writing your Way Out: How Storytelling Heals the Heart

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40 If We Don’t Laugh, We Cry: The Healing Power of Laughter 44 Colors of the Soul— Healing with Art and Creative Expression 45 Navigating Grief: The Role of Community in Healing 48 Pack Light-Heal Deep 52 PB&J: The Secret Recipe for Healing Grief 56 Befriend your Grief as an Act of Resiliency 60 Embracing my New Life After Loss 63 Barely Surviving to Surprisingly Thriving

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THE COLLAB I S S U E Q1 2025 67 Grief as a Gateway— Finding Meaning after Loss 71 COVER FEATURE: End Well Symposium

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75 Lost & Found: My Journey Through Grief without Death 79 The Healing Power Of Poetry— Embracing Resilience Through Grief 85 Pockets of Support— The Importance of Grief Groups 88 Finding Resilience in the Photos 91 Healing Together in the Messy Middle 94 Navigating Loss: Embracing Growth 96 Together, We Can 99 A Call No Parent Wants

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103 Where Hope Grows 106 From Victim Island to Solution City — A Roadmap to Resilience and Healing 110 The Interwoven Path 115 We Heal Together 118 When Letting Go Hurts 121 Fueling for Resilience: Grief + Food 124 Lessons from a Glass Child 127 The Mosaic of Loss 130 Shared Voices: Shared Healing

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THE COLLAB I S S U E Q1 2025 132 Seeding your Sankalpa 135 COVER FEATURE: The Grieftastic Book Fair 139 Legacy of a Life Interrupted

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141 Beyond the Scars: A Life Worth Living 145 Reckless to Rooted: Inheriting Legacy, Finding Myself 148 Live Free: 5 Pillars for an Empowered Life After Loss 154 Grief, Loss & Life with Chronic Illness 156 There’s No Place like Home 159 Wanderlust and Healing 166 When Grief Overlaps: Guiding your Children through Loss Amid your Own Struggles

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168 Stories Of Children Lost: A Heartfelt Guide to Healing After Child Loss

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TOGETHER, WE HEAL

Together,

A LETTER FROM THE CO-EDITORS, KERA SANCHEZ AND BLAIR KAPLAN VENABLES

Grief is often seen as a solitary experience—a deeply personal journey that one must endure alone. But what we’ve come to understand, both through our own losses and through the incredible communities we’ve built, is that healing is not meant to be a lonely road. In fact, the most powerful healing happens when we come together.

This issue of Get Griefy Magazine is a testament to that truth. Through our collaboration between Get Griefy and The Global Resilience Project, we are bringing together voices from many different grief journeys, offering insights, experiences, and, most importantly, hope. This is the Together We Heal issue—because healing is not just possible, but deeply transformative when shared.

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HOW HAS COLLABORATION BEEN A PART OF OUR HEALING? Blair: In the beginning, my grief felt isolating. I was navigating the depths of loss alone, unsure of how to move forward. But as I began opening up—on social media, to friends, and within communities—I realized that healing doesn’t happen in a vacuum. It happens in connection. Whether it was heart-to-heart conversations, virtual support groups, or the wisdom of mental health professionals and spiritual healers, collaboration became a cornerstone of my resilience. The simple act of sharing my story and listening to others reminded me that I wasn’t alone. This tapestry of connection reinforced that we heal better together.

Kera: The ability to connect with others who have also endured the deep pain of loss and still feel called to transform it into purpose is profoundly fulfilling. There is an unspoken understanding among those who have walked this path, one that requires no explanation— only presence. Grief has the power to isolate, but collaboration rewrites that narrative. When we come together, we turn sorrow into something meaningful. We create spaces for healing, where pain becomes a catalyst for growth, and where collective strength reminds us that we are never truly alone.

WHAT DOES RESILIENCE MEAN TO US? Blair: Resilience is not about being unshaken by grief—it’s about finding the strength to continue despite it. It’s about learning to carry the weight of loss while still allowing light to enter. To me, resilience means choosing to move forward, not because it’s easy, but because life continues, and we deserve to embrace it fully.

It’s not about bouncing back—it’s about bouncing forward, adapting, growing, and becoming stronger through each hardship we endure.

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Kera: Resilience isn’t about pushing past grief; it’s about allowing yourself to fully feel it while still searching for the good. It’s the quiet strength that keeps us tethered to hope, even when hope feels distant. For me, resilience meant leaning into my grief—sitting in its discomfort, honoring its weight, and letting it shape me rather than break me. Only then did I rediscover my love for life. I’ve learned that joy and sorrow are not opposites but companions, and through them, we become stronger, more compassionate versions of ourselves.

IF WE ONLY KNEW...

Blair: I wish I had known that grief doesn’t follow a timeline. There are no rules, no linear stages to complete. Some days, grief is a tidal wave; other days, it’s a quiet undercurrent. I used to think I had to "move on" quickly or suppress my emotions, but now I know that grief evolves—and that’s okay. It’s normal to feel everything: anger, sadness, guilt, even moments of relief. And most of all, I wish I had known to be gentle with myself, to allow grief to exist alongside love, and to trust that healing doesn’t mean forgetting—it means learning to carry both.

Kera: I wish I had understood just how normal grief is. My deep fear of death kept me in a constant state of anxiety, always bracing for loss. I never realized that death and grief are not cruel disruptions of life but fundamental parts of being human.

While this fear had negative effects on me, it also shaped me in ways I never expected—it deepened my empathy, expanded my understanding of love, and ultimately made me more present in my own life. I now believe that normalizing conversations about grief can break the isolation that so many of us feel. The more we talk about it, the more we can create connections that make this journey less lonely.

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Photograpy by: Rony Armas

WHAT TOGETHER WE HEAL, MEANS TO US Blair: To me, "Together, We Heal" is a reminder that we are not meant to navigate grief alone. Neuroscience even proves that community and connection help us process loss more effectively. Sharing our pain, listening with empathy, and offering support—whether in person or through digital spaces—creates a powerful sense of belonging. When we stand together in grief, we create resilience not just for ourselves, but for others. Healing becomes sustainable, meaningful, and, most importantly, possible.

Kera: While healing independently is possible, there is something profoundly enriching about healing alongside others. It turns grief from a solitary struggle into a shared human experience. When we open up about our journeys, we validate each other’s pain and remind ourselves that we are not alone. More than anything, "Together, We Heal" means that healing is not about moving on but about moving forward—with love, with understanding, and with the knowledge that resilience is built in connection with others.

We hope you enjoy the collaboration! Together, we Heal!

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Live Like You with Your Obituary Mean It Start By: Kimberly Rich -----------------------------------My goal today is to motivate you to write. But I am going to ask you to write something unique. Your obituary. I imagine that if you are here, reading this article in Get Griefy Magazine, you have experienced loss. It may have been recent, years ago, expected or unexpected. You may be struggling with how to find joy again after loss. Even wondering if it is appropriate to feel joy again? (Of course it is, but I also know that it is not as simple as me giving you permission.) I am going to suggest that through taking the time to write your own obituary you may be able to find inspiration to once again allow, and maybe even to chase, joy.

Have you ever thought about writing your own obituary? If you have already done this, bravo! You are in the minority. If you have not, let me motivate you to give it a try. Why would you do this? It seems dark, morbid even. You may feel too young.

You probably have decades in front of you. (You might not… but that’s a different article.) You may be older and feel like that is a job for others after you are gone.

The simple reason why you should write your own obituary is that this will become an enormous gift to your surviving loved ones. It can take a surprising number of phone calls for your survivors to figure out where you were born, or to figure out what your mother’s maiden name was. Instead of drafting the story of your life, in 300 words or less, your people can spend time looking through photographs, telling stories and raising a glass to your memory. As Get Griefy readers you have likely been through this. You may be nodding your head right now remembering the arduous task of writing an obituary for someone else.

Imagine you are doing this for someone you love. You find a template online. It tells you to start with “Person was born on date in town, state.” Okay, easy enough. Kimberly Rich was born on July 6th, 1978 in….This is where authors of obituaries first hit pause. What am I supposed to write here? She was born at a hospital in LaGrange, IL…but her parents lived in Carol Stream. What should I write? People panic. They want to get it right. Authors often, in their grief, treat this with the authority of a legal document, forgetting that it is not. Your obituary is a high level overview of the highlights of a life lived.

You can put anything here. Even simply the state of IL, with no town listed. You can skip this line. You can write “was born on July 6th, 1978 into the loving arms of her mother and father.”

Yet panic ensues. Because it seems like we can not control anything right now, but we can control this. We can make this the most flawless, brilliant obituary ever written.

If you instead take the time to write your own obituary now, and you make these decisions, your family will have the gift of this document being completed AND you will have given yourself the gift of your obituary truly representing the things that were most important to you throughout your life.

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But there is a deeper reason why I encourage you to do this. I encourage you to do this because, if you are reading this, you are still alive today. I want you to set aside time to write your obituary as if you have died today. What would it say? What would the highlights be? What accomplishments would you include? What people? What moments?

Then take a break. Go back a few days later (you can only think about your own life and mortality for so long in one sitting). Now, I want you to rewrite your obituary…more of an edit actually. Imagine you live for another 20 years. What would you want it to say then? What is missing now? Think of things that are within your control. If your children do not yet have children don’t write that your grandchildren light up when you enter the room. You have no control over whether or not you become a wonderful grandmother if grandchildren do not yet exist. You may however write that you received your master’s degree in nursing or that you were an accomplished gardener. “The salads made from Kim’s gardens were both a work of art and a culinary delight. They were enjoyed by family and friends during her monthly First Friday potluck dinners.”

Remember the beginning of this article? How can you once again find joy? Try starting here: With the two or three things you have added to your revised obituary. Pick one, then go grab life. Take the first class towards earning that master’s degree. Start your garden. You will not likely accomplish all items in the coming weeks or even months. You’re not meant to. But one step at a time, start making your life what you most want it to be. As you make decisions in your daily life remember this future obituary. How will your decision impact your obituary? How will your decision help you to find joy?

I will add that, although one day this journey will end, we need to balance living our best life with being responsible adults (darn it!). So, I don’t advise that you quit your job to chase joy or stop folding laundry because it is not aligned with your goals…but please find a way to build time to achieve those dreams into your daily life.

Still on Kimberly’s obituary list: A raucous 70th birthday party, attending the summer Olympics, being interviewed by Stephen Colbert or Anderson Cooper, attending the Macy’s Thanksgiving parade like a fancy person in a reserved seat, opening a beautiful celebration of life venue, participating somehow in the Sycamore Speedway (look it up!), speaking at Endwell, and to become a published author of a book!

Kimberly Rich received her doctoral degree from Creighton University with a research focus in grief and bereavement. Her journey with grief started following the sudden loss of her mother in 2021. It was then that she first recognized the power of relationship in grief, and also realized the ways that we can fail to support one another as end of life approaches, as well as in times of grief. In the coming months she accepted that her mission would be to improve how we approach death, dying and supporting those who are grieving. She now serves as a death doula, end of life coordinator, and grief educator. She is based in the suburbs of Chicago, IL but regularly travels to support those in need.

You can learn more about her work on Instagram @tomorrowmourningllc or on her website at www.tomorrowmourningllc.com.

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PUZZLE PIECES OF GRIEF: BY: ELREACY DOCK

Grief is an inevitable and universal aspect of the human experience, but it often magnifies our sense of isolation. In the aftermath of loss, our sense of security is stripped away, leaving us feeling vulnerable and exposed to the harsh reality of an absence that is neither eased nor reconciled. In this sense, our experience of grief and loss often leads us to assemble a puzzle of ourselves, in which we discover that some pieces no longer fit and others must be created. We take on roles we never anticipated and learn to adapt to a world fundamentally altered by our loss. We gradually begin to navigate life again in a world that feels distant and unfamiliar compared to what we once knew, leading us on a journey that sometimes forces us to dismantle and rebuild our worldview.

This journey is not linear, but is ultimately comprised of countless moments of adaptation, reflection, and reinvention throughout a constant progression of highs and lows. Navigating loss and its role as a catalyst that reshapes our identity does not come without pain or difficulty.

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However, rebuilding ourselves in the face of loss can be less lonely when we have others to validate our emotions and experiences. Sharing our grief journey with others can allow us to transform our personal pain into collective wisdom that fosters growth and resilience within the community that surrounds us.

Likewise, empathy within a grieving community can help us feel understood to an extent that those who remain untouched by loss cannot comprehend.

The experience of loss and grief transforms us. If loss is a catalyst that reshapes our identities, then everyone who grieves has the innate ability to catalyze change in our society and the world at large, starting at the community level.

Navigating through our own grief journeys helps us become acutely aware of the gaps existing in our communities, inviting us to reimagine what navigating these difficult experiences might be like if everyone had access to optimal support and resources. When we create safe spaces for people to connect, whether building a new community or contributing to an existing one, we build bridges where none previously existed.

Peer Support Education

&

Grief

Grief often magnifies our sense of isolation and feelings of loneliness, but grief can also bring us into a greater space of compassion and unity with others. Many people cope with grief in silence, meaning that our experiences of loss often resonate with others who have not yet shared their stories.

This is one reason there is power in peer support as a form of grief work.

Through peer support, we discover that others have experienced similar losses and that we are not alone.

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We realize that our shared reality of loss creates an invisible thread of connection within our community.

Peer support proves to us that there isn’t a timeline for grief and that rather than “moving on” as social narratives might dictate, we can instead learn to adapt by growing around the loss that we continue to carry with us.

Most hospitals, hospices, and bereavement organizations offer peerled support groups, but if you can’t find peer support groups in your area or the existing ones don’t address the type of loss you have experienced, it may be time to consider establishing your own. We can achieve more inclusive and culturally sensitive responses to loss within our community through peer support.

Grief is never a one-size-fits-all experience; by acknowledging intersectionality in grief and the diversity that exists within loss, we can better address systemic barriers that people face when navigating their grief journeys.

Peer support and community building create pathways that enable people to grieve and express themselves in ways that align with their cultural values and preferences while increasing accessibility to support that isn’t costprohibitive.

Similarly, knowledge can be a powerful tool in navigating grief. Informative strategies such as grief education can help people understand their grief journeys through frameworks and conceptualization while providing exercises and evidence-based coping strategies that aid in managing emotions that often overwhelm us. By fostering a greater understanding of what we experience when we grieve, we can empower ourselves to be a guide and source of support for others navigating similar challenges. Grief education enables us to take control of our stories and journeys, becoming the support we once needed in the face of our loss and rebuilding ourselves while we remind others that they are not alone in their respective journeys.

Value in Community Building Even if you have experienced a rare type of loss or live in a remote area where resources are not readily available, technology provides endless possibilities for leaning in deeply to pursue a connection with a community waiting to welcome you. Social media, online forums, and video conferencing platforms have made it possible to reduce feelings of isolation by enabling people to find communities regardless of distance or limitations. While not intended to replace connecting with people in person, the experience of connecting online often offers more flexibility in grief support compared to traditional options by providing:: the convenience of 24/7 access anonymity or pseudonymity translation of resources, and the ability to find others who have experienced similar or rare types of loss.

The power of community in our shared experience of grief contributes to a more significant societal shift in how we understand and respond to loss. Our efforts, how we relate and respond, our willingness to witness the grief of others, and the decision to be intentional in sharing our own stories take us to a pivotal moment in shaping the perceptions of grief in our culture. This can lead to more empathy and support for loss, more compassionate workplaces, and improved support systems. Perhaps more importantly, it creates space for more authentic and transparent grief and mourning without stigma or judgment. Communities help us to normalize mortality and allow us to show up as our authentic selves, even when that authenticity requires us to share that we might feel especially vulnerable or sensitive in memory of who or what we have lost today.

Grief communities are spaces of hope, healing, exploration, and reinvention. Comprised of grieving individuals who are willing to stand in the gap and catalyze change, we achieve a collective effort and movement that serves as a disruptor to the social narratives and stigma that surround death, loss, and grief. This disruption exists in our continual acknowledgment and validation of losses that society doesn’t recognize, our willingness to maintain transparent and open discussions regarding grief, our decisions to honor the lives of our loved ones regardless of the inevitable passing of time, our rejection of stereotypical expectations of grief expression, and our willingness to educate and advocate until all people have access to a safe space to express their grief without fear of judgment. In a society obsessed with happiness, perfection, and instant gratification, we challenge the status quo by uniting as a community to champion our right to carry our losses with our love for the rest of our lives, to honor them with transparency and authenticity, and to embrace that grief is a messy, vital part of the human experience that is a testament to the magnitude of our losses.

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Elreacy Dock is a thanatologist, death educator, certified grief educator, and behavioral health consultant. She is the Thanatology Department Chair and Instructor at Capstone University. Elreacy serves on the Membership Committee for the Association of Death Education and Counseling and is also a contributor at Seven Ponds.

Her insights are prominently featured in international media and academic journals.

Instagram @elreacydock Site: www.elreacydock.com

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FROM FROM VHS VHS TO TO VITAL VITAL CONNECTION CONNECTION d n u o F How I ty i n u Comm f e i r G in BY: DR. HEATHER TAYLOR GET GRIEFY - ISSUE 5 - 2025

There I was, sitting in yet another therapy office, hoping this time would be different. I was carrying the weight of a loss I never chose, desperately needing a space where I could feel seen, heard, and understood. What I got instead? VHS tapes. Yep, you read that right—straight out of the 90s.

Instead of talking with me about the tidal wave of grief I was drowning in after the traumatic death of my younger brother, this therapist popped in a VHS tape and said it would help. Spoiler alert: it didn’t.

That was my third attempt to find someone who could sit with me in my grief. I’d experienced loss before—losing both grandfathers—but hadn’t felt the need for therapy then. In college, therapy helped me with depression, so I thought, Why not try it for grief? But let me tell you, watching outdated grief tapes alone in a quiet room wasn’t the answer.

As I sat there in disbelief, I started wondering: What are we doing so wrong here?

Grief is universal—something we all experience —so why was it so hard to find someone who truly got it? After that VHS fiasco, I decided to go back to school. I wanted to become the therapist I needed back then.

Those early, frustrating experiences revealed a massive gap in how we support the grieving.

I knew we could do better. In this article, I’ll share a bit of my story, explore why community is essential for grief, and offer practical tools to foster connection and resilience. Because here’s the truth: you don’t have to figure out how to live with grief on your own.

Rewinding the Tapes – Why Outdated Grief Models Fall Short

Something stuck with me during those cringeworthy VHS sessions—and later, as I dove into hospice trainings and grad school. Everyone seemed obsessed with the five stages of grief, as though loss could be linear and tidy. That wasn’t my experience. I was a chaotic mix of emotions—sad one moment, furious the next, guilt-ridden, terrified, and everything in between.

Grief isn’t something that needs fixing; it’s a process to honor. Yet those tapes and the professionals peddling them seemed determined to squeeze my messy grief into a neat little box, because anything else made them uncomfortable.

They seemed to not know what to do with someone experiencing sibling loss. So they did what many in society do, avoid.

This is where I started to understand something bigger: grief states, not stages.

Grief states reflect the emotional, mental, and physical spaces we move through moment by moment. They’re dynamic, fluid, and nonlinear, shaped by our unique experiences and capacity. They reflect our connection with our person, our emotional bandwidth, and the work of integrating grief into a new normal.

Because here’s the thing: grief doesn’t just go away. It evolves, shifts, and changes over time. And it stays with us—it’s part of us. Thinking about grief as states rather than stages made far more sense to me, and it inspired how I approach grief education with my clients. Grief states normalize the reality of grief, validate its complexity, and empower people to engage with their experience in a way that feels authentic and human.

The beauty of this perspective? It makes room for connection. The stages of grief always felt so isolating, like a lonely checklist.

But grief states?

They’re dynamic, present-oriented, and invite others into the process. Let’s unpack that a bit more—what it means to lean into loss and be with others who speak that same grieflanguage.

Fast-Forward to Community – How Connection Builds Resilience When I started graduate school, I was desperate to connect with other grief spaces —real, lived experiences of loss, not just theoretical frameworks. Within my first semester, I found my way to Hospice. My grief came from a traumatic loss, but hospice taught me about connection, anticipatory grief, and resilience.

Going through their bereavement training was eye-opening. (Side note: It still amazes me that most graduate programs barely touch grief in their curriculums.)

Hospice taught me something profound: we heal best in connection with others. There’s psychology behind this. The “social buffer” effect shows that having people to lean on reduces the intensity of grief. Connection doesn’t erase the pain, but it creates a cushion—softening the edges, making it feel less overwhelming.

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Not every person or space is right for your grief though. So, who are your grief people?

Safe grief people don’t try to fix you or make your grief about their discomfort. They hold space, listen without judgment, and validate your feelings. They’re the ones who ask, “Would you like to share a story about your person?” or remember to send a text on their birthday to say, “I’m thinking of you.”

Reflection for you: Who feels restorative for you? Who might you invite into your grief space? Because here’s the truth: resilience doesn’t mean doing it all alone.

It’s about knowing when to lean in and letting others help carry the emotional weight when it feels too heavy.

Pressing Play on Healing – Practical Tools for Connection Finding community wasn’t immediate or easy.

Grief often feels like an island, and I realized I had to build a bridge if I wanted to get off it. I started small by talking to a close friend who wouldn’t rush me to “move on,” and found practical and intentional ways to have self-compassion. When we are new to living with grief, it’s hard not having context for what it is like. For what our capacity is. What resources we need.

Now, neither of these were magical fixes, and yet they gave me something invaluable: a sense of being seen and understood.

Building your grief team means finding those who can hold space, not solutions—someone to sit with your pain, help with the practical stuff, or offer a much-needed distraction when life feels too heavy. It’s about surrounding yourself with people who understand that grief isn’t something to “get over” but something to carry, and they’re willing to help you hold it The Comforter: Quiet presence and emotional validation.

The Doer: Practical support with meals or errands.

If you’re unsure how to invite people in, start with vulnerability: “I’m struggling and need someone to listen—can we talk?” or, “I don’t need advice, just some company.”

For formal support, consider grief groups, creative outlets like art or journaling workshops, or even immersive grief retreats.

While community doesn’t fix grief, it makes space for it. Connection transforms grief from isolating pain into shared humanity—and that’s where healing begins.

Be Kind. Rewind.

The VHS tapes didn’t teach me how to grieve, but they did show me what was missing: connection. Healing happens in shared moments of vulnerability, in relationships that help carry the load.

Grief is hard work and it’s meant to be shared. So, to anyone grieving: take a deep breath, reach out, and let someone walk this path with you. You deserve that. And your grief deserves to take up space.

DR. HEATHER TAYLOR IS A LICENSED PSYCHOLOGIST AND HOST OF THE GRIEF IS THE NEW NORMAL PODCAST. WITH A PASSION FOR NORMALIZING GRIEF AS A VITAL PART OF THE HUMAN EXPERIENCE, DR. TAYLOR OFFERS COMPASSIONATE GUIDANCE AND PRACTICAL TOOLS FOR NAVIGATING LIFE AFTER LOSS. SHE SPECIALIZES IN GRIEF, TRAUMA, AND REPRODUCTIVE PSYCHOLOGY, BLENDING HER PROFESSIONAL EXPERTISE WITH HER PERSONAL JOURNEY OF HEALING. THROUGH HER PODCAST AND EDUCATIONAL RESOURCES, DR. TAYLOR EMPOWERS INDIVIDUALS TO EMBRACE THEIR GRIEF, BUILD RESILIENCE, AND FIND CONNECTION. HER WORK FOSTERS A COMMUNITY WHERE GRIEF TAKES UP SPACE AND HEALING HAPPENS TOGETHER. GRIEFISTHENEWNORMAL.COM @GRIEF_IS_THE_NEW_NORMAL

The Distractor: Someone who makes you laugh or pulls you out of the heaviness for a moment.

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GRIEF TO

FINDING HUMOUR IN GRIEF — by: Susan Repa

GIGGLES

Grief is often a shadowy companion, enveloping us in sorrow and pain. But amidst this profound experience is an unexpected ally: humour. While it might seem counterintuitive, laughter can play a powerful role in the healing process, offering moments of relief and connection in times of darkness. By consciously incorporating humour into our lives, we can foster resilience and rediscover glimpses of joy.

2. REVISIT FUNNY MEMORIES Why it works: Reflecting on humorous moments keeps your loved one’s spirit alive in a joyful way.

How to do it: Start a memory journal filled with amusing anecdotes or stories about your loved one. These recollections can bring smiles during tough moments.

WHY HUMOUR MATTERS IN GRIEF Grief weighs heavily on our minds and bodies. This burden often manifests as stress, fatigue, and even physical ailments. Humour acts as a counterbalance, triggering the release of endorphins, lowering cortisol levels, and providing an emotional reset. Beyond the biochemical benefits, humour reminds us of our humanity and the interconnectedness of shared experiences, helping to bridge the isolation that often accompanies loss.

THE SCIENCE BEHIND LAUGHTER Laughter doesn’t just feel good; it’s good for you.

Studies have shown that laughter improves cardiovascular health, strengthens the immune system, and enhances cognitive function. In grief, these physiological benefits can make the difference between feeling stuck and finding small, forward-moving steps.

PRACTICAL TIPS FOR USING HUMOUR DURING GRIEF Humour doesn’t diminish the pain of loss; rather, it coexists alongside it, offering a brief respite and a shift in perspective. Here’s how you can embrace humour as a tool for healing:

1. SEEK OUT SHARED LAUGHTER Why it works: Connecting with others over shared laughter creates bonds and eases feelings of loneliness.

How to do it: Spend time with friends or family who bring lightness into your life. Watch a comedy special together or share funny memories of your loved one.

3. USE MEDIA TO SPARK JOY Engage with Light-Hearted Media Why it works: Engaging with light-hearted media can offer a brief reprieve and help adjust your mood.

How to do it: Create a playlist of your favourite comedies, uplifting films, or humorous podcasts. For example: Movies: Mrs. Doubtfire, The Princess Bride, or Paddington 2—all offer heartfelt laughs and themes of family and resilience.

TV Shows: Parks and Recreation, The Great British Bake Off (with its cheerful energy), or Brooklyn Nine-Nine can bring comfort through light humour and relatable characters.

Podcasts: Look for light, comedy-driven podcasts like Conan O’Brien Needs a Friend.

Choose content that resonates with your sense of humour

4. JOIN A LAUGHTER YOGA CLASS Why it works: Laughter yoga combines physical exercise with voluntary laughter, which often transitions into genuine mirth.

How to do it: Look for local or virtual laughter yoga groups. These sessions can reduce stress while connecting you with a supportive community.

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5. LAUGH AT YOURSELF Why it works: Finding humour in your own experiences fosters humility and lightheartedness.

How to do it: Share your relatable grief “fails” with trusted friends. Whether it’s a mismatched sock day or a burnt dinner, these moments remind us not to take ourselves too seriously.

REDISCOVERING JOY, ONE LAUGH AT A TIME Grief and humour may seem like strange bedfellows, but they share a common thread: the depth of human experience. By leaning into moments of laughter, we honour the life that was lost and the life we are continuing to live. Humour won’t erase the pain, but it can light the path forward, reminding us that healing is possible—even if it begins with a simple smile.

THE ROLE OF HUMOUR IN COMMUNITY AND COLLABORATION Laughter is inherently social. Support groups that include humour in their interactions can create an environment where members feel safe to express their emotions. Shared laughter reduces tension and builds trust, encouraging participants to open up about their struggles and triumphs.

Consider implementing humour-infused icebreakers or activities in grief support sessions.

For example: A "Grief Meme Night" where participants create light-hearted memes about their experiences.

Funny storytelling circles where members share moments of unintended humour during their grief journeys.

ADDRESSING MISCONCEPTIONS ABOUT HUMOUR IN GRIEF

SUSAN REPA IS A GRIEF SPECIALIST, AUTHOR OF THE GRIEF SQUAD COMIC BOOK SERIES, AND THE FOUNDER OF GRIEF SQUAD, A PLATFORM SUPPORTING CHILDREN, FAMILIES, AND INDIVIDUALS THROUGH LOSS. AS A GRIEF COACH, SUSAN COMBINES EMPATHY, CREATIVITY, AND HUMOUR TO HELP CLIENTS BUILD RESILIENCE AND FIND JOY AMIDST THEIR JOURNEYS.

Some might worry that laughing while grieving dishonours the deceased or minimizes the gravity of the loss. On the contrary, humour honours life itself—acknowledging the multifaceted nature of our emotions and the enduring joy that memories can bring. It’s a testament to the complexity of being human: grieving deeply while still finding moments to smile.

Tools and Resources for Exploring Humour in Grief Books: Option B by Sheryl Sandberg and Adam Grant explores resilience and finding joy after loss.

Podcasts: Terrible, Thanks for Asking brilliantly weaves humour and heartbreak, offering an honest yet witty take on grief.

Activities: Consider engaging in creative outlets like sketch comedy writing or improv, which can channel emotions into laughterfilled expression.

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@GRIEFSQUADOFFICIAL WWW.GRIEFSQUAD.CA

Grief & Grit

Laugh, Cry, and Build Your Comeback Toolkit By: Angie Hanson

Resilience and healing are often framed as solo missions, journeys we take alone with nothing but sheer willpower. But here’s the secret they don’t put in self-help books: resilience thrives in community, collaboration, and creativity. Healing isn’t about toughing it out in silence; it’s about finding the people, tools, and moments that remind you that you’re not alone. These words can feel as heavy as the life experiences they represent. Let’s be honest: life is unpredictable, and sometimes it’s downright messy.

Yet, amidst the chaos, we’re left with one question: What would you do? When life throws you curveballs? How do you react?

More importantly, how do you move forward without completely losing yourself?

So, what would you do if life knocks you flat?

Grab your favorite cozy spot and let’s talk about what you can actually do when life gets tough and we will even have a little humor along the way.

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1. Create a Resilience Toolkit

2. Lean Into Community

You wouldn’t show up to fix a leaky faucet without tools, so why face life’s challenges empty-handed? Think of it as your emotional first-aid kit. Your toolkit might look different from someone else’s, and that’s okay. The goal isn’t to check off a list but to build a system that works for you.

When life deals you a tough hand, a strong community can be your lifeline.

Whether it’s a close circle of friends, an online support group, or even your neighborhood book club, having people who get it can be a game-changer.

Some ideas to consider: Boundaries: Because saying "no" is a complete sentence.

Support System: Surround yourself with people who refill your cup, not drain it.

Comfort: Journaling, meditation, or even a cozy blanket (yes, that counts).

Action: A workout, walk, or creative project to channel your energy.

Humor: Because sometimes all you can do is laugh—preferably with friends, but solo giggles are totally acceptable.

When building your community, look for people who: Listen without offering unsolicited advice.

Are comfortable with silence—because sometimes words aren’t necessary.

Know when to bring snacks and when to bring wine.

Grief Tip: Start small. If you’re not ready for deep conversations, just let someone know you’re struggling. Send a text, attend a group meeting, or join an online forum. Connection doesn’t have to be overwhelming—it can start with a single sentence.

Isolation feeds despair.

Community feeds resilience.

Grief Tip: Keep a stash of comforting items nearby—a favorite playlist, cozy socks, or chocolate… lots of chocolate. There’s no shame in self-care.

Quick Laugh: If your “community” is just you and your dog, that’s valid too. Dogs always listen and never interrupt.

3. Laugh Through the Tears

4. Get Creative With Your Healing

Grief and humor might seem like odd companions, but sometimes a good laugh is the very thing that helps you breathe again. Humor doesn’t minimize pain; it makes the hard stuff a little more bearable.

Creativity is more than a pastime; it’s a proven tool for processing emotions and building resilience.

Whether you’re journaling, painting, cooking, or gardening, creating something gives you a sense of control and accomplishment.

Grief Tip: Create space for humor. Watch a ridiculous sitcom, swap funny memes with a friend, or just let yourself laugh at the absurdity of life’s curveballs.

Grief Tip: Pick one creative outlet and make it part of your routine. No need to be Picasso—your stick figures still count as art.

Why It Matters: Laughter releases endorphins, eases tension, and reminds you that joy isn’t gone forever—it’s just taking a backseat for now.

Why It Matters: Creativity allows you to channel emotions in a way words often can’t. Plus, it’s deeply satisfying to make something tangible out of intangible feelings.

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5. Dare to Dream Again

6. Rediscover Joy in Small Moments

This one’s tough, especially when you feel like life has turned you into a walking disaster movie. But part of resilience is allowing yourself to imagine a future, even when it feels uncertain or scary.

Start small. What’s one thing you’d love to do someday? Travel somewhere new? Try a new hobby? Reconnect with an old passion?

Let yourself dream without worrying about the logistics. Just the act of imagining can be a powerful step toward hope.

Reminder: Dreams don’t have to be grandiose. “Make it through the week without crying in the grocery store” is still valid.

7. Tap Into the Transformative Power of Collaboration Healing isn’t a solo performance.

Collaborating with others—whether through sharing experiences, joining a creative project, or participating in a support group—creates momentum.

Together, we’re stronger than the sum of our parts.

After loss, joy can feel elusive, even impossible. But joy doesn’t have to be monumental to matter. It can be a quiet cup of coffee, a good song, or a moment of sunshine on your face. Take a moment to reflect: What have I learned? How have I grown? Then give yourself a high-five (or a cookie—both are acceptable forms of recognition).

Grief Tip: At the end of each day, write down one thing that made you smile or brought you comfort. This practice trains your brain to notice joy, even in the midst of pain.

Grief Tip 2: Keep a “Resilience Jar.” Write down your wins, no matter how small, and revisit them when you need a reminder of your strength. Got out of bed today?

Celebrate it. Managed to eat something other than microwave noodles? Gold star.

Why It Matters: Small moments of joy are stepping stones back to a fuller life. Over time, they accumulate into something meaningful. It’s not about minimizing your pain; it’s about acknowledging that progress—even tiny, barely visible progress —is still progress.

Grief Tip: If a friend or loved one offers help, be specific. “Could you bring dinner on Tuesday?” or “Can you help me with this project?” gives them a clear way to support you. Collaboration is about letting others join you on your journey without the guilt of feeling like a burden.

Collaboration builds connection, which is at the heart of resilience.

Why It Matters: Shared healing normalizes your feelings and reminds you that you’re never alone in your struggles.

Bonus Humor: If your “collaborator” is a pet, don’t expect much beyond moral support and possibly a chewed-up shoe.

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8. Practice Gratitude and Grace Gratitude and grace are resilience power moves. Gratitude doesn’t erase pain, but it reminds you of the good things that still exist. Grace, especially toward yourself, gives you permission to heal at your own pace.

Grief Tip: Start a “grace journal.” Each day, write one thing you’re grateful for and one way you showed yourself grace. Did you let yourself rest? Did you forgive yourself for forgetting to respond to that text?

Why It Matters: Gratitude shifts perspective, and grace allows room for imperfection—a key ingredient in resilience.

Final Thoughts:

Site: butterfliesandhalos.com Instagram: @butterfliesandhalos

And if all else fails, just remember: you’re not alone. There’s a community of humans out here cheering you on, snarky humor and all.

Also remember, resilience isn’t about being unbreakable. It’s about being bendable, flexible, and human. You’ve got this—even if your “this” looks a little messy right now.

Now, go build that toolkit, cry over some chips, and maybe ask yourself: What’s one small thing I can do today? Because sometimes, the answer to ‘What would you do?’ is simply: Start.

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Co-Author

So, what would you do? When life gets hard, the truth is, you might not know right away—and that’s okay. Hopefully, you’d take a deep breath, grab your toolkit, and remind yourself that you’ve got this.

Resilience isn’t about avoiding the storm; it’s about learning to dance in the rain—or at least splashing in the puddles with style.

By embracing community, humor, creativity, and collaboration, you not only navigate the rough patches but also rediscover life’s beauty, one step at a time.

Angie Hanson is a certified grief coach, author of Chapters of a Resilient Heart, and founder of Butterflies + Halos, a grieffocused stationery brand. Drawing on her personal experiences with profound loss, she empowers others to navigate grief with grace and resilience. Her work has inspired countless individuals to find light in life’s darkest moments.

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-BY: CARLEASE AUSTIN-

Let’s face it: losing a loved one profoundly alters our identity, thought process, and perception of life. But what if, over time, grief could help us shed what no longer serves us and empower us to redefine how we represent ourselves moving forward? Could grief become the ultimate catalyst for personal transformation? Get Griefy’s Small Business Collective member, Carlease Austin—a specialist in Psychology, Cognition, and Neuroscience, as well as a Grief and Trauma Coach—explores this thought-provoking idea in depth.

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euroscience has taught us that the processing of grief effects, brain activity, brain function, and the way in which we mentally survive the loss.

Let’s dive deeper. We know that grief is a byproduct of the loss we have encountered. Grief holds a myriad of emotional reactions to the trauma of death itself. The processing of death disrupts and creates a pattern change in six regions of our brain. For this exploration, we will focus on two areas specifically, the Posterior Cingulate Cortex, and the Anterior Cingulate Cortex. These two are responsible for our ability to self-reflect. One of the jobs of the Posterior Cingulate Cortex, is to provoke internal thoughts.

These thoughts can come in the form of fantasizing or recollection of memories. When we have experienced a loss, we become reflective of our past lives, who we will become, and what our future will look like. A lot of the time, grief exposes parts of us, that were hidden or suppressed while our loved ones were with us. This is largely due to the adjustment and integration of our lives with our deceased loved ones. For instance, a housewife who has become widowed, whose life has been shaped around being a wife and a mother. That was her identity. She may have put her dreams and career on hold, to care for her family. She has now, by the loss, been forced into the “What now?” phase of life. She no longer carries the status of a wife, she is now considered a widow. Huge identity shift.

The next region we will discuss is the Anterior Cingulate Cortex. One of the functions in this region is to aid in the decision-making process, when they present themselves as difficult. This region is responsible for creating a change, depending on the positive and negative rewards, it may produce. For instance, entering the dating world, after the loss of a spouse.

he decision in question could be, “Am I ready to identify as a girlfriend verses a widow or the wife of my deceased spouse?” The context of the decision is based upon the impact and or benefit such a change would bring.

You now know, your processing of self, isn’t a systematic malfunction. It is indeed a necessary re-wiring of your brain to create and then exhibit your authentic self. This is where your re-branding begins!

Re-branding oneself, after loss is inevitable. However, it is not always conscious. We find ourselves lost, and wondering who we are if we are not “That”. That spouse, that sibling, that child, or that caretaker.

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hen re-branding takes place without conscious intention, we often build our lives around the destruction and the pain of the loss. We can become cynical towards life and people, who we perceive take advantage of life. We can become the saddest versions of self, thinking we are honoring a life that is no longer tangible. We lose joy, because we believe, enjoying life means forgetting our loved ones. This is a form of unconscious re-branding. This form of re-branding becomes consciously functional and logical to self. This-rebranding is birthed from fear, abandonment, anger, and uncertainty.

To re-brand yourself, does not mean that you are relinquishing your bond with your loved ones. It just simply means you have grieved in the space of the loss and have created a special place to set your loved one free.

Oftentimes we believe that holding on to our loved ones for dear “This” life, keeps them from being forgotten. What if I told you, you are keeping them trapped. What if I told you, keeping them out of sight and out of mind, keeps you trapped. It’s truly a balance to adopt, which will be healthy and freeing for you and your departed one.

Conscious re-branding on the other hand, is acknowledging a change is happening. Accepting that a change has occurred, and activating your soul’s guidance, to unveil your purpose and authenticity.

Re-branding happens with or without our input. To ensure we become the best versions of ourselves, we must be intentional and not fearful about the things we learn about ourselves. Let’s look at a couple examples.

What unhealthy habits have you recognized since your loss?

How do you show up in relationship with others?

Are you building relationships out of fear or authenticity and most importantly, reciprocity?

Are your goals lathered in sadness or peaceful purpose?

Is your self-dialect that of shame or guilt?

Are you holding yourself and others to a standard compared to your loved one?

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elf-reflection is the mirror of which we hold ourselves accountable AND see ourselves in our true nature. The nature of truth, promise, creativity, and self-worth.

Feeling as if you are a stranger to yourself is quite normal. Yet, we get to know strangers every day. We have built communities and friendships with complete strangers. Which means, building a relationship with a new version of yourself is attainable and one of the best investments you will make in life.

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e-branding yourself is no easy task and the process is no walk in the park. Yet, as we’ve come to understand, creating our own reality of self, verses being powered by forces of nature is by far our best foot forward. Being patient with yourself through the process is vital. Yes, it only took a few moments to write out the keys to re-branding, but the actual process can take some time. Grief is not a one size fits all ordeal. It is individually unique, to its one-of-a-kind human vessel. You. Please know you are Valuable, you are Worthy, and you are Loved upon each and every step of this journey. —Namaste

AS HOST OF THE SHADOW BOX PODCAST, CARLEASE FOSTERS MEANINGFUL CONVERSATIONS ABOUT HEALING AND RESILIENCE. EXPLORE HER WORK AT APEACEOFMINE.ORG. GET GRIEFY - ISSUE 5 - 2025

Insta gram @a pe ac eo fm i

CARLEASE AUSTIN IS THE FOUNDER OF A PEACE OF MINE AND THE CHAKRA BOX, OFFERING TOOLS FOR HEALING, BALANCE, AND PERSONAL GROWTH. WITH A BA IN PSYCHOLOGY, AN MS IN COGNITION AND NEUROSCIENCE, AND CERTIFICATION AS A GRIEF AND TRAUMA COACH, SHE COMBINES EXPERTISE AND COMPASSION TO HELP CLIENTS NAVIGATE LIFE’S CHALLENGES.

_llc ase e l ar yc b ne

A FINAL ROUND Lessons from My Last Game with Dad By: Mary Beth Lacy

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I have several burdens of grief, some are hard to speak of. So I will write about a day with a person gone to me— my dad.

It was a crisp Southern California Desert afternoon, and I stood on a driving range with my 86-year-old father. He had become frail but loved golf and we had done this activity together throughout my childhood and adult life.

So we headed to a quiet section on the other side of the range not used often with a higher elevation almost like hitting from a mountain top to a valley.

My dad always liked to watch the ball soar, and from this point of view, you had that advantage. He had gotten old, so he sat in the golf cart gingerly, stepping out for a few short swings and then going back to take a rest.

I took out my driver to hit a long shot.

“Oh, I want to hit it like that again. I want to swing the club like that again,” he said. I wound up my swing. The golf ball soared, and Dad was full of glee as the ball sailed toward the target.

This went on and on for nearly an hour with contests such as closest to the pins and a lot of bantering back and forth on who was the better golfer. Finally, he said I am exhausted. We better go back.

So, I grieve this day.

I grieve the joy of our friendship, the happiness of cheering each other on and the laughing over our bad shots. The preciousness of him giving each swing his all at 86. I often go back to this day and see us in that moment. I grieve never playing golf again with my best golf buddy ever, but I also try to be grateful I had it and the joy of this day that we shared. It was a gift. There is an empty place I wrestle with 15 years later, missing this pocket of love that I will never know again. Grief forces us to touch what we fear, death and the fragility of life.

Grief is the only teacher we have to take a deep breath of the special moment that comes and then sweeps away. We must appreciate it and savor the present. It too will pass quickly. So yes, I grieve, but I also am thankful for the gift given to me before the grief.

Mary Beth Lacy, a Princeton, NJ native, discovered her love of storytelling early. From her figure skating days to captaining the boys’ golf team in Georgia, she built a career blending her passions for writing and golf. An English major at Furman University and avid golfer, she worked with PGA Tour events like the Bob Hope Classic before founding her PR firm in 1998. For 30+ years, she represented global golf brands and personalities. Now retired, Mary Beth lives with her husband, Christopher, between Palm Desert, CA, and St. Simons Island, GA. She recently ybethlacy mar of published her @ fic | first children’s i m a book, Octopi Are Very Sly, a heartwarming tale about resilience and friendship, inspired by her family and love of storytelling.

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al

He tried next, a slow back swing, a little weight transfer and a gentle tap of the ball ensued. “Well, not bad,” but not as good as you, MB,” he said, but at least I am out here.

There was a lot of love and camaraderie when you have played a sport with someone for years. You might get old, but the joy of companionship and competition never gets old spanning decades and creating bonds between loved ones. The sun was setting on the Chocolate Mountains in La Quinta, California, and our golf day ended. We had so much fun. Who knew it would be the last time we would ever hit balls together?

Ins tag r

Grief is an unbearable feeling. We grieve so much: people, moments, loves our younger former self and many more things. What is done is done.

There is no going back. The pain of not being able to change something is real.

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by Melissa Bottorff-Arey

Play Ball

A NOT-SO-SERIOUS GUIDE TO GRIEF

By: Jessica Rios-Flores, LCSW

Is grief constantly throwing you curveballs in your daily life? As a lifelong baseball fan and a psychotherapist, I’m here to share how baseball can help you understand this messy thing called grief. Cue “Take Me Out to the Ball Game” softly in the background.

Nine Innings of “What Is Even Happening Right Now?” Picture this: you’re playing in a baseball game that sometimes feels like it will never end, and other times, it flies by faster than Mariano Rivera’s cutter.

Regular baseball games are nine innings long— unless the teams are tied, in which case they play extra innings.

When you start the game, you never know how it will go. Grief is just like that! It’s like a baseball game with nine innings (but maybe more?!), each representing a phase of grief and your many conflicting emotions.

Some innings are filled with hits and even home runs; others are full of strikeouts. And guess what? Both are totally okay

Digging In Adjusting YOUR PERSONAL PLAYBOOK: Start a “feelings scorecard,” also known as a grief journal. Don’t judge yourself, and I dare you to doodle outside the margins.

There’s no such thing as having “wrong” feelings. All emotions are valid!

Treat each day like a new inning.

Yesterday’s errors don’t count today. Heck —this morning’s errors don’t count this afternoon.

Take Mental Health Timeouts. Give yourself grace and take time out when you need it. This might mean locking yourself in the bathroom for a good cry, taking a walk to clear your head, or calling a trusted friend.

Embrace “rain” delays—grab some tea, sit with your emotions, and let them pass.

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and

When a pitch is thrown, the hitter digs his cleats into the dirt to gain firm footing for his swing, hoping for a hit.

Sometimes, you face emotional fastballs head-on; other times, it’s better to channel your inner Carlton and dance it out in your living room. This is the art of digging in and adapting to the next pitch without judgment. Step up to the plate and do whatever gets you through the inning!

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Spring Training

YOUR PERSONAL PLAYBOOK: Reconnect with practices that have helped you before. Meditation, dancing, listening to music, or rewatching an old game (especially one where your team wins) can all help.

If those practices aren’t working, try something new. Cook a new dish, watch a new movie, or sip on some tea.

Every spring, fans and players feel hopeful for the new season. It’s a fresh start, and a losing postseason can be left behind. Just like baseball, your loss doesn’t define your entire season—or your entire career. It’s part of your stats, but you’ll show up for spring training, ready for what’s next.

Reach out to your community for support.

You’ll feel less isolated. Send the text. Make the call. Visit someone you trust.

YOUR PERSONAL PLAYBOOK: Draft new goals that honor both your loved one and yourself. Don’t forget—you matter, too!

Create traditions that would make them laugh or feel proud.

Your cheering fans Baseball is nothing without its crowd, right? Even the best players need cheers and heckles (looking at you, Bleacher Creatures!) to feel supported and challenged. Your grief journey needs its own fan section, too.

Scout out new hobbies, adventures, and skills.

Keep a “wins” list, no matter how small.

Celebrate every victory, even if it’s just getting through the day.

The Game-Winning Play

YOUR PERSONAL PLAYBOOK: Join a grief support group, either inperson or online. Find a squad that feels like the supportive team you need to navigate grief.

Call in relief pitchers when needed.

Psychotherapists and healthcare professionals specializing in grief are nonjudgmental and trained to help.

Lean on your trusted circle of friends and family. They can listen or offer a distraction when you need it.

Be a rookie coach for others. Helping someone else who is grieving can sometimes be the best healing for yourself.

The thing about grief is that it’s never a perfect game or a winning season. There’s no official scoreboard for healing. We don’t “get over” a loss —but we learn how to live a meaningful life with our grief, even when we’re covered in dirt. I told you—grief is messy!

YOUR PERSONAL PLAYBOOK: Build your own hall of fame. Create a memory box or album full of moments and memories of your loved one.

Write postgame reports, aka letters to yourself or your loved one. This can help release overwhelming thoughts and emotions.

Practice gratitude as you would practice your swing.

You might have lost a spouse or dream job, and that’s heavy—but intentionally recognize the small joys, like a cup of tea or a kind conversation.

Turn your loss into your legacy. This could mean starting a foundation in their name or helping others in a way that feels meaningful.

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Through all nine innings (and sometimes extra innings) of grief, remember: you’re not just a player—you’re the whole team. Some days, you’re the coach, manager, batter, infielder, or pitcher. Other days, you’re the vendor taking a breather in the stands. But you can’t play every position at once. Surround yourself with people who are supportive, compassionate, and remind you to hold onto hope. Losing a game or season doesn’t mean you quit. There will always be another game, another season, and another chance to step up with resilience and hope—even while carrying your grief.

We’re all in this game together. Keep swinging, keep missing, and keep trying. Because in this game, showing up is the home run.

Now seriously—who’s up for some peanuts and Cracker Jack? My treat!

Jessica Rios-Flores, LCSW, is the founder of WomenMix, PLLC, a mental health practice, where she serves as a traumainformed grief therapist. A Certified Grief Educator and Mindfulness Instructor, she specializes in supporting women and LGBTQ+ professionals through their healing and professional journeys. Her expertise combines evidence-based therapeutic approaches with mindfulness practices to help clients navigate grief, trauma, and personal growth. site: www.jessicariosflores.com insta: @jessicarioslcsw linkedin: Jessica Rios-Flores GET GRIEFY - ISSUE 5 - 2025

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www.youareherlegacy.com

HOPE FOR ANYONE WHO HAS

lost a mother ABOUT THIS BOOK

Losing your mother means gaining a new companion—grief.

Chelsea Ohlemiller shares her journey of loss to help you with yours. Her honest reflections on heartbreak, love, and hope can give you words when you're speechless. This book is for anyone facing the loss of a mother, offering a compassionate friend for the journey ahead.

Writing Your Way Out: How Storytelling Heals the Heart BY: CRYSTAL ADAIR-BENNING

For me, writing wasn’t just an outlet; it was a way to make sense of a senseless tragedy.

Here’s what makes writing so powerful in grief: It’s Private: No one else has to see it. You can be raw, messy, and honest in ways that feel unsafe with other people.

It Slows You Down: Writing forces you to sit with your feelings instead of running from them. It also takes the sting out.

It Creates a Record: Over time, your words can show you how far you’ve come. They’re proof of your resilience, even when you don’t feel strong.

How to Start Writing Through Your Grief: You don’t need a typewriter or perfect grammar to start. All you need is a typewriter, laptop, pen, a notebook, or even the notes app on your phone. Here are a few prompts to get the words flowing: Write a letter to the person you’ve lost. What would you say if you could talk to them right now?

Describe a memory you shared with them that makes you smile. Bring every detail to life—what did the air smell like, what did their laugh sound like?

Ask the hard questions: What do you miss most? What are you afraid of moving forward without them?

I was nine years old when my best friend died. There’s no poetic way to say that—no metaphor that can wrap the rawness of it in a neat little bow. He died in a house fire that also took his mom, sister and another friend, and my world changed forever. Back then, there were no therapists with cozy offices or grief counselors to explain what happens when your young heart is shattered. It was the early 80’s and the only people going to therapists were considered “crazy”.

Couldn’t have the neighbours think that now, could we? Instead, there were well-meaning adults who said things like, “He’s in a better place,” as if that could fill the hole he left behind.

But there was one gift. One small, profound act of love: my dad gave me a typewriter. It wasn’t fancy, just a clunky robin’s egg blue machine with sticky keys and a comforting clack-clack-clack as I poured my heartbreak into words. That typewriter became my therapist, my confessional, my lifeline. I wrote letters to my bestie, stories about us and the future I imagined we might’ve had, poems that didn’t rhyme, and journals full of questions I knew no one could answer. I wrote my way out of the grief, one keystroke at a time.

Grief is a storm that floods every part of your life. It’s messy, unrelenting, and often isolating. But writing is a life raft… at least it has been for me. It gives you a place to pour out the thoughts you can’t say aloud, to scream on the page without judgment, and to process what feels impossible to process.

For some, writing is a private act, a way to heal quietly. But for others, it can become something bigger—a book, a memoir, a collection of letters or poems.

Sharing your story with the world can be deeply healing, both for you and for others who need to know they’re not alone.

As a book coach, ghostwriter, and host of Createcation writing retreats, I’ve seen firsthand how powerful storytelling can be. I’ve helped clients turn their pain into purpose, their grief into something transformative. It all started with my own stories - unraveled, weaved together, processed and healed on the page.

Now, a sad yet true caveat - writing won’t bring them back. It won’t erase the pain or the days when getting out of bed feels impossible. But it will give you a place to put that pain, a way to honor your grief without being consumed by it.

It’s not about finding closure—it’s about finding a way to carry the loss with you, with grace and love, into whatever comes next.

If you’re carrying a story inside you—whether it’s for your eyes only or meant to be shared—I’d encourage you to try writing your way through it. Your story matters. Your grief matters. And when you’re ready, the words will be waiting for you.

Crystal Adair-Benning is a 4x New York Times bestselling ghostwriter and book coach renowned for helping storytellers transform their ideas into meaningful narratives. With a passion for amplifying invisible voices and decades of experience crafting words that inspire and connect, Crystal believes in the transformative power of storytelling. She combines creativity, empathy, and a touch of magic to guide clients toward sharing their stories authentically and impactfully. An avid traveller and lifelong wordsmith, Crystal’s work is fueled by a deep commitment to making every voice heard. writewordmagic.com @writewordmagic

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Co-Author

IF WE

H

’T LAUG N O D

We Cry The Healing Power of Laughter

By Juanita (Wal) Cummings

Grief. Stress. Worry. These feelings can make us feel alone, even in a crowd. Coping with stress is hard; finding self-compassion and forgiveness is harder. Yet, there’s one simple antidote: laughter.

“If you didn’t laugh, you’d cry” is a testament to resilience. Choosing to laugh instead of cry can transform not just a moment but an entire lifetime. Even finding humor in small things can shift your mindset for the better.

THE SCIENCE OF LAUGHTER Laughter is contagious and healing.

It reduces stress, releases endorphins, and boosts serotonin, combating depression. Studies show it lowers inflammation, making a good laugh truly medicinal. Ever notice how cranky people often seem unwell? Negativity breeds isolation and illness, while positivity attracts support and joy. Surround yourself with laughter, and you’ll amplify happiness.

TOGETHERNESS: A KEY TO LONGEVITY In the world’s Blue Zones, people live the longest thanks to strong family and community ties. Even if you lack close family, you can find groups to join. Sharing life with others creates a sense of belonging that solitude can’t replicate. “A problem shared is a problem halved”—lean on others, and lighten your load.

THE POWER OF POSITIVITY Happiness and sadness are habits. Choose joy, and it becomes second nature. Act silly, sing off-key, or try a cartwheel—alone or with friends. In a group, laughter spreads, lifting everyone’s spirits.

Conversely, one person’s negativity can dampen the mood. Make positivity your habit, and laughter lines your legacy.

GO WITH THE FLOW Life is like a river, and we are logs floating downstream. Fighting the current only creates struggle. When I embraced the journey, I found companionship in others on the same path. Every twist and turn became part of an adventure leading to a peaceful pond of shared experiences.

CHOOSE HAPPINESS Happiness is a choice. Embrace the moment, the journey, and the people around you. Laugh, connect, and flow with life. The ride is far better when you choose joy over resistance.

Juanita, lovingly called Wal, is a head and neck cancer survivor who turned her 2018 diagnosis into a journey of transformation. She realized that years of unresolved grief had impacted her health and chose to heal through positive mindset shifts and lifestyle changes.

By building a strong support network and embracing optimism, Juanita not only became cancer-free but also rediscovered a healthier, happier version of herself.

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Co-Author @healthy_mum_downunder

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“Whatever pain you can’t get rid of, make it your creative offering.”

-Leonard Cohen-

Healing with art and creative expression GET GRIEFY - ISSUE 5 - 2025

By: Susie Stonefield

COLORS OF THE SOUL

Grief often pulls us into isolation, making the simplest tasks— getting out of bed, cooking a meal—feel impossible. Creativity can feel like the last thing we’re capable of in those moments.

Grief mutes inspiration, leading to what feels like a creative drought.

But what if creating something was exactly what you needed?

What if the act of making—not to produce art, but to express yourself—could begin to lift the fog of loss? What if creating could help you not just feel creative again but feel anything at all?

THE ACT OF CREATING IS MEDICINE Creating is an action—a reminder that you’re alive and that your existence matters. The energy released in creative expression is regenerative, sparking more connection to life with each small act.

Susan Cain, in her book Bittersweet, explores the interplay of light and dark, joy and sorrow. She writes: “The tragedy of life is linked inescapably with its splendor…to fully inhabit these dualities…is, paradoxically, the only way to transcend them. And transcending them is the ultimate point.”

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Creativity doesn’t erase pain but allows us to face it and turn it into something meaningful.

As Cain explains, creativity “grapples simultaneously with darkness and light.” In grieving, a creative practice becomes lifeaffirming. It helps you move forward, feel lighter, and rediscover self-awareness in the haze of loss.

Through color, song, movement, or words, creativity has the power to bring us back to ourselves.

CREATIVITY IS INTRINSIC TO BEING HUMAN We all create in everyday ways, even if we don’t recognize it: picking out clothes, writing a note, improvising a meal. As poet Mark Nepo says: “We inhale by feeling and we exhale by expressing.”

There’s a part of all of us—the “wordless heart”—that yearns to express itself. It’s the part that feels moved by a sunset or a song or compels you to smear paint across a canvas.

Unfortunately, many of us feel like outsiders in the “Land of Creativity.” Perhaps childhood criticism silenced your artistic instincts. Or maybe a sibling was the “creative one,” so you stayed in your lane.

But creativity isn’t reserved for the “gifted”; it’s part of being human.

HOW TO INVITE GRIEF INTO YOUR CREATIVE PROCESS Creativity during grief isn’t about making a masterpiece. It’s about using art to express what words cannot. Here’s a simple way to get started: What You’ll Need: Markers, pens, paper, magazines, glue stick, scissors.

A box of tissues—tears may flow, and that’s okay.

Step-by-Step: 1. Get quiet and grounded 2. Sit with your paper, close your eyes, and place your hands on it.

Breathe deeply. Notice your body, mind, and heart. Allow whatever emotions arise to simply be.

3. Put yourself on the page 4. Make a mark that represents you—a dot, scribble, or stick figure.

It’s a metaphor, not a self-portrait.

5. Express with color 6. Use colors to reflect how you feel. Scribble, shade, or swirl— there’s no right or wrong way. Follow what feels natural.

7. Add images and words 8. Doodle or cut out pictures from magazines that resonate with your emotions. Add words, if they come to you.

9. Reflect 10. When you’re finished, prop your creation up and sit with it.

Notice how you feel. Dance, sway, or make more art if needed.

CREATIVITY AS A LIFE-AFFIRMING ACT Grieving through creativity is an act of self-care and transformation. It’s not about the product; it’s about the process.

With a few simple materials and an open heart, you can begin to turn your pain into healing, one mark at a time.

HONORING GRIEF THROUGH CREATIVITY Grief can spark guilt when moments of joy arise. Clients often share that they feel torn, measuring their sadness against their happiness as though joy somehow diminishes their love for what they’ve lost.

But creating during grief doesn’t erase your connection to loss; it deepens it. Art allows you to honor your story—expressing emotions too big for words, moving what feels stuck, and nurturing your tender heart.

Grief can be your muse, helping you process your pain through the healing act of creation.

IG: @creativity_midwife Site: www.susiestonefield.com

Susie Stonefield is a transformational creativity and grief coach. Her work is inspired

by Rumi’s poetry: “The wound is the place where the Light enters you.” She helps her clients embrace their grief and other difficult to hold emotions in order to tend, heal and ultimately, transform their lives. Working both online and in person, 1:1 and in small group deep dives and retreats, Susie guides clients to freedom, relief and lightness through the intuitive creativity. She likens her work to having a heartcentered guide hold a light on the dark path as you explore your stories and shadows. *artwork used for this piece were painted by Susie

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NAVIGATING GRIEF: THE ROLE OF COMMUNITY IN HEALING

By Crystal Dalton

I was on vacation when I received a call that my mother had fallen and was being rushed to the hospital. I wasn’t provided with much information, but it was requested that I drive back to Delaware immediately. When I arrived at the hospital three hours later, I was met by two doctors who explained that my mom had suffered a massive brain bleed that left her unconscious, and she would not recover. My family and I removed her from life support the next day, and thus began my grief journey as a motherless daughter.

Grief is a universal human experience. At some point in life, everyone encounters grief, whether through the death of a loved one, a divorce, the end of a friendship, infertility, job loss, or another form of profound loss. Yet, despite its inevitability, grief is often misunderstood and dismissed in our culture. Discussions surrounding death, dying, and grief are avoided, making it difficult for individuals to navigate their pain. Instead of fostering a space for vulnerability and healing, society tends to pressure grieving individuals to “move on,” frequently questioning why they are still mourning or bringing up their loss. These societal expectations often amplify feelings of isolation and loneliness, which are already intrinsic to the grieving process.

In this isolating landscape, it’s not uncommon for friends and family to withdraw, either due to their own discomfort or a lack of understanding of how to support someone in grief. At the same time, surprising connections can form. Strangers may step in with empathy and support, becoming chosen family. These dynamics highlight an important truth: grief, while deeply personal, is not meant to be faced alone. Humans are inherently communal beings, and having a network of support built on love, understanding, and acceptance can be vital to healing.

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THE LONELINESS OF GRIEF Grief is often described as a deeply lonely experience, even when surrounded by people. The unique pain of loss can make it feel as though no one truly understands what you’re going through. This sense of isolation can be exacerbated by societal norms that discourage open discussions about grief. People may feel pressure to “get back to normal” or to mask their emotions in order to make others more comfortable. This suppression of grief can lead to a sense of disconnection, not only from others but also from oneself.

THE HEALING POWER OF COMMUNITY While grief is a solitary journey in many ways, it is also one that can be profoundly shaped by the presence of a supportive community. Being surrounded by people who acknowledge your pain and offer their love and understanding can provide a sense of solace that is otherwise difficult to find. This kind of community doesn’t necessarily need to consist of close friends or family; it can include support groups, faith-based organizations, or even online communities dedicated to grief and healing.

One of the greatest gifts a community can offer is validation. When you are in the depths of grief, it can be immensely comforting to hear someone say, “I understand” or “What you’re feeling is normal.” Knowing that others have faced similar pain and have found ways to navigate through it can instill a sense of hope. It reminds you that you are not alone, even if your grief feels singular.

Beyond emotional support, community can also provide practical assistance. Simple acts of kindness, such as bringing meals, helping with household tasks, or offering childcare, can ease some of the burdens that accompany loss. These tangible expressions of care serve as reminders that you are not forgotten, even when life feels overwhelming.

HOW COMMUNITY FOSTERS GROWTH AND HEALING Healing through grief doesn’t mean erasing the pain or forgetting what or who you lost. Instead, it involves learning to carry that loss in a way that allows you to move forward with purpose and meaning. Community can play a pivotal role in this process by fostering growth, resilience, and connection.

1. Creating Space for Vulnerability A supportive community provides a safe space to express emotions without fear of judgment. Whether it’s through sharing your story, crying openly, or simply sitting in silence with someone who understands, this kind of vulnerability is essential for healing. In these moments, grief becomes less of a burden and more of a shared experience.

2. Encouraging Self-Compassion When others show compassion toward your grief, it can be easier to extend that same kindness to yourself. Grief can be accompanied by feelings of guilt, regret, or inadequacy, but a caring community reminds you that it’s okay to feel these emotions and that healing takes time.

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3. Providing Perspective Hearing others’ stories of loss and resilience can provide perspective on your own journey. While no two experiences of grief are the same, seeing how others have navigated their pain can offer inspiration and guidance. It can also reinforce the idea that healing is possible, even if it looks different for everyone.

4. Building New Connections In the wake of loss, relationships often shift. Some people may drift away, but new connections can form in their place. These new relationships, forged through shared experiences of grief, can be incredibly meaningful. They remind us that even in the midst of loss, life continues to offer opportunities for connection and growth.

GRIEF AND COMMUNITY IN PRACTICE

FINAL THOUGHTS Grief is an inevitable part of life, but it doesn’t have to be endured in isolation. By surrounding ourselves with a compassionate and understanding community, we can navigate the complexities of loss with greater strength and resilience. Whether through shared stories, acts of kindness, or simply the presence of someone who listens, a supportive community has the power to transform grief from an isolating experience into one of connection and healing.

For anyone who is grieving, know this: you are not alone.

There is a community waiting to support you, to walk alongside you, and to remind you that you are deeply loved. Welcome to the club that no one wants to be a part of.

After a profound loss, solace may be found in connecting with others who ‘get it.’ Whether through support groups, grief counseling, or simply candid conversations with friends, these interactions can help alleviate feelings of loneliness. Vulnerability is not a weakness but a bridge to understanding and support.

Grief is not something to be “fixed” or “overcome.” Instead, it’s something to be integrated into the fabric of our lives.

Having a supportive community plays a vital role in this process, offering both the strength to face the pain and the courage to find joy again.

THE RIPPLE EFFECT OF SUPPORT When we allow ourselves to lean on others in times of grief, we not only help ourselves but also contribute to a culture of compassion and understanding. By being open about our struggles and accepting support, we give others permission to do the same. This ripple effect can create a broader sense of community, one that extends beyond individual relationships and fosters a collective resilience.

CRYSTAL IS THE FOUNDER OF COHABITATING WITH GRIEF, A SPACE DEDICATED TO HELPING GRIEVERS PROCESS THEIR GRIEF TO INSPIRE HEALING, GROWTH, AND WELLNESS. SHE OFFERS PEER-LED SUPPORT, COMMUNITY GRIEF NATURE WALKS, AND INTUITIVE MOVEMENT SESSIONS TO CREATE A COMPASSIONATE AND SUPPORTIVE ENVIRONMENT. CRYSTAL PROVIDES BOTH VIRTUAL AND IN-PERSON SERVICES TO ACCOMMODATE THE DIVERSE NEEDS OF HER CLIENTS. THROUGH HER WORK, SHE AIMS TO FOSTER A SENSE OF CONNECTION AND UNDERSTANDING AMONG THOSE NAVIGATING GRIEF. HER APPROACH IS GROUNDED IN EMPATHY AND A DEEP COMMITMENT TO HOLISTIC HEALING PRACTICES. YOU CAN FIND HER ON INSTAGRAM @COHABITATINGWITHGRIEF GET GRIEFY - ISSUE 5 - 2025

y Grieving— p p a h m o r F l e Meet Rach nd the World u o r A s t a e r t e R And her Grief

BY: BLAIR KAPLAN VENABLES

Grief is a deeply personal experience, often isolating those who are navigating its emotional terrain. Rachel, the founder of Happy Grieving, understands this isolation all too well. At just 27 years old, her world was shattered by the loss of her father, an event that profoundly reshaped her perspective on life and grief. From this loss, she found a renewed purpose: to help others who were walking a similar path. Through Happy Grieving, Rachel has created a community where people can engage in open conversations about loss, process their grief in a meaningful way, and ultimately, find joy in life again.

Rachel’s personal journey began with the overwhelming sadness of losing her dad, but her travels in the aftermath of his death would ignite an idea that would become her mission. “After my dad passed away, I felt incredibly alone in my grief,” she recalls. “It seemed like no one truly understood what I was going through.” Struggling to find connection, Rachel embarked on a solo journey to find solace, exploring the world as a way to escape the all-consuming pain of loss.

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While traveling, she encountered people around her age who had also lost a parent. The conversations that unfolded felt raw and real— conversations about regrets, unspoken goodbyes, and the struggle of time passing without healing.

Whether swimming in a blue lagoon in Greece or exploring abandoned airbases in what as once Yugoslavia, Rachel found profound solace in these shared moments. These encounters made her realize that grief and joy could coexist, and that healing didn’t mean forgetting. It was in this space that the idea for Grief Trips was born: combining travel with intentional grief work in a relaxed, community-based environment.

What started as a simple idea to integrate travel with grief support quickly gained traction, thanks to Rachel’s grief community on Instagram, @happy.grieving. As her posts resonated with others navigating similar journeys, she organized her first Grief Trip. To her surprise, eight women from around the world flew in to join her. Their willingness to embrace this experience affirmed the need for a retreat that blends travel, community, and emotional healing.

Whether it’s through group sharing or one-on-one conversations, Rachel is always available to listen and offer guidance. “I’m always looking out for signs that someone may need extra support,” she says. “It’s about creating a space where people feel seen, heard, and cared for.”

One of the standout features of Rachel’s retreats is the way they creatively combine travel with grief work. For example, on one retreat in Portugal, the group embarked on a wild swimming experience in a secluded spot along the Douro River. Another retreat will take place in Bali, where participants can hike through rice terraces and swim in waterfalls. These immersive, nature-based activities not only offer relaxation but provide a sense of peace and healing that accompanies the shared experience of grief.

The primary goals of Rachel’s grief retreats are to foster connection, joy, and personal growth. “I wanted to create an experience that’s different from traditional therapy,” she says. “Grief retreats allow people to navigate their grief in a holistic and enriching way.” Instead of focusing solely on the sadness that often accompanies loss, Rachel integrates enjoyable experiences, such as cooking classes, wine-tasting tours, and naturebased activities, into the retreat agenda. These activities not only promote healing, but also offer opportunities for personal growth and reflection.

Rachel has seen firsthand how transformative these retreats can be, often witnessing participants form deep friendships and continue supporting each other long after the retreat ends.

“When someone texts me four months later saying ‘thinking of you all a little extra this week, the holidays are so hard,’ it feels like a success,” she reflects.

Safety and support are paramount when it comes to Rachel’s retreats. Before the retreat, participants connect with each other in a private group chat, where Rachel takes time to get to know each person individually. This allows her to tailor the experience to the unique needs of each participant. During the retreat, the structure is flexible, ensuring that everyone can participate at their own pace.

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PROOF: DO NOT CIRCULATE

Creative expression also plays a vital role in the retreats. Rachel includes art therapy, guided journaling, and collective activities such as friendship bracelet-making to help participants reflect on their grief in new ways.

“One of the most powerful moments was when we created a 3-meter-long friendship bracelet, with each person contributing words that reflected their grief journey. Others could pick pieces from the bracelet to create their own,” Rachel shares. These small acts of collective creativity foster deeper connections among participants, allowing them to reflect on their experiences while also honoring the shared human experience of grief.

One particularly memorable moment from a recent retreat occurred during a grief-informed yoga session. The group engaged in a collective poetry exercise lead, finishing the sentence, “I wish I had told you….” The final poem, read aloud by the instructor Hebe during the closing relaxation portion of the class, left participants in tears as they heard their individual stories woven into a collective experience of love and loss. As if on cue, a flock of birds flew overhead, an occurrence that many participants interpreted as a powerful, poignant sign. “It felt like all of our lost loved ones were flying together in sync,” Rachel recalls Hebe exclaiming to the group.

This shared experience of loss and healing was an unforgettable moment for all involved.

In addition to the therapeutic activities, Rachel is careful to ensure that each retreat accommodates the diverse ways people experience and express grief. Whether through movement, creativity, or quiet reflection, she ensures there are various ways for participants to process their grief. “Some people may struggle to express their emotions, but during art therapy, for example, they might find an unexpected way to connect with their grief,” she explains. It’s these moments of personal breakthrough that make each retreat so meaningful.

Rachel recognizes that grief is a deeply personal journey, and each participant comes to the retreat with their own emotional needs and expectations. She strives to strike a balance between offering professional guidance and allowing participants to process their grief in their own way.

“I focus on active listening and being present for each individual,” Rachel says. “If someone is quieter or hesitant, I check in with them privately to ensure they feel comfortable.

There’s no pressure to engage in a particular way.”

While organizing grief retreats can be incredibly rewarding, it’s not without its challenges. “One of the main challenges is finding the balance between being organized and staying flexible,” Rachel says. Grief is unpredictable, and sometimes the most powerful moments come from organic, unscripted sharing. To address this, Rachel builds flexibility into the retreat itinerary, ensuring that the group can take the time needed to process emotions and share stories when the moment arises.

As Rachel looks to the future, she’s excited about the upcoming Grief Trip to Bali in April 2025, which will feature a new set of activities and a special guest facilitator, Blair Kaplan. In addition to growing her grief community, Rachel is excited to continue creating spaces where grief can be explored in a supportive, nonjudgmental way. “I believe that grief is not something we can rush through. It’s a journey we need to honor and allow to evolve. I want to help others find a way to live fully, even as they grieve fully.”

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g n i v e i r G y p p a H With her work through Happy Grieving, Rachel has created a powerful community for those navigating grief.

Her retreats offer not just a space for healing but a reminder that joy and grief can coexist, and that it’s okay to live fully, even while mourning. You can learn more and book your spot at grieftrips.com.

More About Rachel: Rachel Wong is the founder of Happy Grieving, a supportive community that helps individuals navigate the deeply personal journey of grief.

After the devastating loss of her father at just 27, Rachel understood firsthand the isolation and emotional toll that grief can take. Her personal journey toward healing led her to create a space where people could openly process their grief while finding connection and hope. Through Happy Grieving, Rachel has built an Instagram community of over 30,000 followers, offering support, shared experiences, and inspiration for those walking similar paths.

Through her work, Rachel has become a beacon of hope for those who have lost loved ones, showing that while grief is an inevitable part of life, it’s also possible to find joy, healing, and connection along the way.

Instagram @happy.grieving website happygrieving.com

Rachel’s vision evolved into Grief Trips, transformative retreats that combine travel with grief work. These retreats, designed to foster healing and personal growth, blend naturebased activities, creative expression, and community building in unique, global settings.

From wild swimming in Portugal to hiking through rice terraces in Bali, Rachel curates experiences that allow participants to process their grief in a holistic and enriching way. By offering a safe, supportive space where joy and sorrow coexist, Rachel helps people honor their grief while also discovering new ways to live fully.

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B P

J & nah n A By:

th be a z Eli

Although I’d always been acutely aware of suffering and injustice, “grief” was not a word I truly understood—until the death of my firstborn, Gavin, due to unexpected delivery complications. Hours after hearing the devastating words, “I’m sorry, he didn’t make it,” one distinct thought emerged: I did not want to spend my life mourning my son.

Over the next seven years, I faced two second-trimester miscarriages, two complicated but successful pregnancies, a six-week psychiatric stay for severe depression, and one final pregnancy during which, six weeks before the child’s birth, I discovered that my husband and my best friend were having an affair.

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One question drove me forward through that string of losses: How is it that some people go on to live happy, fulfilled lives, following tragedy, mishap, or mayhem, while others succumb to drugs, despair, a life of void, or suicide? That single question spawned thousands more and I relentlessly pursued the answers. My years of research revealed revolutionary aspects about grief and healing.

One surprising—delicious—revelation was the commonality between grief, healing, and the preparation of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

And it’s something I share to rave reviews from every audience and every client I have the pleasure of serving!

The PB & J Process Quick—how do you make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich? Most people say: “Spread peanut butter on one slice, jelly on the other, put them together, and eat.” While simple, this skips crucial steps like gathering ingredients, choosing utensils, and cleaning up. The full process often looks like this: 1. Gather ingredients.

2. Select utensils and optional supplies (cutting board, plate).

3. Open containers.

4. Slice bread, if needed.

5. Spread peanut butter on one slice, jelly on the other.

6. Combine slices.

7. Prepare to enjoy (cutting, plating, packing).

8. Eat and savor!

9. Clean up.

You've made sandwiches so often the steps are automatic. Grief and healing work the same way.

You’ve unconsciously developed coping strategies to navigate life. These strategies may include seeking knowledge, emotional relief, rest, exercise, or support— or turning inward and questioning your faith.

During my journey, I realized some coping mechanisms were unhelpful. For example, I amassed $2,000 in credit card debt on unnecessary items. A banker’s reassurance —“this isn’t uncommon”—helped me shift my perspective.

Awareness is the First Step Awareness is key to changing your action from an automatic one to a conscious one, Neighbor.

One of the first discoveries I made is that loss (the Event) and grief (your response to the event) are unempowering because you seldom have a say in how and when those elements will happen.

Healing, however, is a choice. You get to choose where you want to put your attention, as well as when and how you will do so. You also have the ability and the right to modify or change your process, just like you may have adapted how you were taught to make a sandwich!

The greatest factor in your grief overwhelm is that there are so many elements that span your entire being, or as I say, your Academic, Emotional, Physical, Social, and Spiritual Facets. Many of these pieces are hidden from you, until you can identify them. Giving them a name is like shining a spotlight on them, just as you have now highlighted the rote parts of your sandwich-making prowess.

Grief and healing touch all parts of your being—what I call the Five Facets: Academic Facet: Your drive to learn and seek answers.

Emotional Facet: Your capacity to feel and process emotions.

Physical Facet: Your body and physical environment.

Social Facet: Your connections to people, pets, plants, places.

Spiritual Facet: Your inner self or soul.

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I now invite you to spend time thinking about your conflict components and then follow the recipe below to begin healing.

Step 1: In which Facet(s) does your struggle lie?

Step 2: Cite one stressor for each. Example: my friends seem to have disappeared. (Social Facet) Step 3: Cite what you want to happen. I want or need company. (Social Facet) Step 4: List one or two ways you can achieve your desired outcome. ie: Invite a friend over. Attend a social function in an area that brings me joy.

Group hike; dancing; theatre, [insert your whatever].

Step 5: Identify your gifts/skills/abilities/talents ie: not afraid to ask for help; my superpower is scheduling/meeting new people. [insert your whatever] Step 6: Acknowledge that you are already creating healing moments!

Step 7: Take inspired action. Make the call; buy the ticket. Put the event on your calendar!

Step 8: Final preparations: Need more sleep?

Hydration? Dress that’s comfortable and makes you feel good? Allow extra time for navigating?

Step 9: Show up for yourself.

Step 10: Give yourself the gifts of grace, fulfillment/enjoyment, and the flexibility to modify your plans as needed.

Step 11: Breathe a sigh of relief and/or celebrate your accomplishment(s)!

When you experience clarity in the confusion, that’s a healing moment! When you laugh or smile in the midst of your sadness, that’s a healing moment! As is when you find a solution to any struggle or a sense of calm when Life has been feeling chaotic.

Annah is the creator of The Five Facets Philosophy on Healing®, a transformative guide to thriving through adversity. She is a spiritual coach, published author, TEDx speaker, energy medicine practitioner, and international medium.

Her coaching and workshops blend academic and alternative approaches to meet individual needs. Annah's work has been featured in magazines, on radio and TV, and at national events.

Site: annahelizabeth.com Instagram @annahelizabethheals

Repeat this process as often as you can and watch how your new, conscious process creates a life as delectable as your culinary masterpiece.

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BEFRIEND YOUR GRIEF By: S hea Wing ate, L CSW aka The G rief G irlie

as an act of resiliency GET GRIEFY - ISSUE 5 - 2025

Losing someone we love is one of the hardest things we can go through. The feelings that come with grief can be overwhelming, and embracing them may feel impossible. Many grievers find themselves trying to suppress or ignore their emotions to get by each day. But life after losing someone isn't just about surviving or rushing through the pain—it's about learning to live again. This means welcoming all the emotions that come with it, both the good and the bad. The key to embracing your new normal begins with befriending your grief.

Spend Time With Your Grief What does it mean to befriend my grief?

Befriending your grief is an act of resilience.

Resilience is how we deal with hard times by finding strength in our struggles and facing our pain instead of pushing it away. In the end, resilience helps us grow from our challenges, turning trials into opportunities to learn and connect more deeply with ourselves and those around us.

Befriending your grief is a much better way to handle it than trying to push it away. When we avoid grief, it doesn’t disappear. It waits showing up unexpectedly at work, during celebrations, or even ruining holidays. If you ignore it for too long, grief can start demanding your attention, making you feel overwhelmed. It can also show up in your body, causing stomach problems, skin issues, headaches, tiredness, or feelings of panic. No, thank you! Grief demands acknowledgment, and by learning to befriend it, we build the resilience needed to face life’s hardest moments with strength, grace, and compassion for ourselves How Do I Befriend My Grief?

Befriending grief involves openness and active participation in the grieving process.

It's about being open to your feelings and actively participating in how you grieve. Just like we work on being happy by repeating positive mantras, taking care of ourselves, learning to say "no" when needed, and keeping a journal of things we're thankful for; we can also find ways to make space for our grief. Instead of waiting for happiness to come to us, we take steps to create a happy environment in our lives. So, why not do the same for our grief? .

It's important to face your grief instead of letting it catch you off guard when you least expect it. Taking time to acknowledge your feelings can help you process your loss. You might express your emotions by writing, trying out a creative activity, talking with someone you trust, creating a special ritual like lighting a candle to remember your loved one, or simply spending time in nature to reflect. Making time for your grief is about recognizing the major changes in your life after losing someone special. Setting aside moments to think about your loss is valuable because it allows your mind to process what has happened.

Address Your Grief Needs Grief is deeply personal, and everyone experiences it differently. Knowing more about what you need means you can do it more easily. Remember, everyone grieves in their own way. So, don't stress about trying to do it "right." Just focus on what feels good for you and do it right away. Whether it's crying, yelling, creating art, breaking things, laughing at dark jokes, or watching your favorite comfort shows— give yourself the freedom to express your feelings without judging yourself.

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Reframe Your Thinking Grief can often feel like an unbearable weight that makes everything more challenging, but you can build strength by changing the way you look at it. Instead of viewing grief as a burden, try to see it as a sign of your love for that person. Your deep sadness shows just how much that relationship meant to you. When those feelings of sadness surface, remind yourself that they reflect the love you shared. Being gentle with your grief can be a beautiful way to honor the special bond you had with your loved one.

Takeaway Befriending your grief is a vital part of healing and finding resilience after losing a loved one. By allowing yourself to feel your emotions and making time to process them, you can transform loss into pathways for growth. Remember, it's not about erasing its pain but learning to coexist with it, honoring the remaining love.

As you navigate your unique grief journey, be kind to yourself and remember that each little step you take toward befriending your grief brings you closer to fully living again. Embrace all those mixed emotions, and you'll find the strength to keep those precious memories alive and continue the bond with your loved one in your new normal.

Shea Wingate is a licensed therapist and grief coach offering a unique grief perspective. After losing her parents and older sister within thirteen months, she understands the complexities of grieving. These significant losses inspired her to establish a private practice, where she provides grievers with practical advice and support. Known online as The Grief Girlie, Shea aims to make conversations about grief more relatable.

Instagram @TheGriefGirlie Site: TheGriefGirlie.com

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FROM GRIEF TO GROWTH

EMBRACING MY NEW SELF AFTER LOSS By: Amy Thurman Grief comes in many forms.

For some, it’s tied to the loss of a loved one. For others, it might be the loss of a dream, a job, or a season of life. For me, it was the loss of myself (or at least, the version of myself I once knew). After an accident that resulted in a sheared brainstem, traumatic brain injury, and broken neck that went undetected for six months, leaving me disabled and incapacitated for nearly a year, I found myself standing at the crossroads of who I had been and the unknown path of who I was becoming.

Before my injury, I was a gogetter. A social worker turned educator turned university professional, I thrived in the chaos of balancing a demanding career with the joy of raising my family. But when unrelenting pain, the inability to walk, multiple surgeries, tests, diagnoses, and chronic fatigue began to strip away my ability to live the life I had so carefully built, I found myself grappling with an identity crisis.

Who was I without my work?

Without my ability to move freely? Without the energy and resilience that had defined me?

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Grieving the loss of my former self felt as profound as any other loss I’d experienced. I mourned the energetic, driven, capable woman I once was. That version of Amy was gone, and I had to figure out how to let her go. The journey to acceptance wasn’t linear; it was messy, painful, and filled with many moments of doubt.

To truly heal, I had to stop pretending I was the same person. I had to face the reality of my limitations, acknowledge the grief that came with them, and embrace the authentic me that was emerging from the ashes.

One of the most transformative moments came when I reconnected with my love for creativity and writing. I began documenting my experiences, not just the struggles, but also the moments of joy and hope.

Writing became a way for me to honor my journey and rediscover my voice, which had felt lost amidst the chaos.

Those moments of creative expression helped me see that, while I was no longer the same person, I still had value, purpose, and the ability to make a difference.

This process eventually led to working up the courage to publish my story, where I shared my story to inspire others to find strength and purpose even in the face of overwhelming challenges. Writing the book was not only cathartic but also a testament to the power of resilience and the transformative impact of embracing authenticity.

As I wrote, I uncovered the ability to connect with others on a deeply human level. Sharing my story allowed me to find a community of people who had faced their own forms of loss and were seeking hope.

These connections reminded me that I wasn’t alone, and that while pain can be isolating, sharing our stories can create bridges of understanding and healing.

Letting go of my former self wasn’t just about acceptance; it was about honoring her. She had built a foundation of resilience, courage, and determination that I could now lean on. I found peace in reflecting on the strength that my past self had shown during times of adversity. I realized that the Amy I was grieving hadn’t disappeared entirely; she had evolved into someone who could navigate new challenges with grace and determination.

By honoring her legacy, I allowed myself to fully step into the woman I was becoming.

Recovery wasn’t just about physical healing, it was about rebuilding my selfworth and identity. Every small step, from learning to walk and navigate public spaces again to celebrating my newfound independence, reminded me that growth takes time and compassion. I learned to celebrate progress, no matter how small, and to acknowledge the strength it took to keep going.

Through this process, I discovered a life I couldn’t have imagined. Letting go of my former self and grieving her loss freed me to embrace the opportunities and joys that were waiting for me on the other side of the pain. Today, I am living the life of my dreams, one filled with purpose, fulfillment, and authentic connection.

I’ve built a career as an author, speaker, and advocate for resilience, empowering others to navigate their own challenges and discover the strength within themselves. My work allows me to wake up every day feeling connected to my purpose and deeply grateful for the journey that brought me here.

As I embraced my new self, I realized that my healing wasn’t just about self-love, it went deeper. It became about soul-love, a connection to my truest essence and purpose. Self-love had helped me survive, but soul-love taught me how to thrive. It was about understanding that I am more than my accomplishments, my physical abilities, or even my emotions.

Soul-love is an unshakable belief in the infinite worth of my soul; a recognition that my value doesn’t come from external validation but from the light within me. This deeper connection brought me peace, purpose, and fulfillment. It allowed me to see my struggles not as punishments but as lessons, each one guiding me closer to the person I was meant to become.

This shift to soul-love empowered me to stop waiting for external rescue or validation and start living from a place of inner strength. It’s a step above self-love because it encompasses the whole of who you are (your triumphs, struggles, and everything in between) and allows you to see yourself as inherently worthy and complete.

One of the greatest lessons gained through this journey is the power of authenticity, even in the midst of grief. When we lose a part of ourselves, it’s tempting to cling to who we were, to put on a brave face and pretend nothing has changed. But true healing comes when we allow ourselves to be real; when we admit that we’re struggling, that we’re different, and that we’re still figuring it out. Being authentic to myself meant letting go of societal expectations, my own perfectionism, and the need to please others. It meant accepting that my worth wasn’t tied to what I could do, but to who I was.

If you’re navigating a similar journey, know this: it’s okay to grieve the person you were. It’s okay to feel the loss deeply. But don’t forget to honor who you’re becoming. That new version of you may just surprise you with her strength, her courage, and her ability to rise from the ashes. You’re not just surviving, you’re growing. And that’s something to be proud of.

Amy Thurman is a best-selling author, speaker, and resilience advocate specializing in emotional intelligence and personal transformation. With expertise in educational and community engagement, she is the founder of Resilient Futures, a nonprofit dedicated to fostering emotional growth through community collaboration.

Amy’s inspirational journey from overcoming a life-altering injury to discovering the power of soul-love has made her a sought-after voice in personal development, empowering others to embrace authenticity and thrive beyond adversity.

site: www.getamyshelp.com instagram: @amycthurman GET GRIEFY - ISSUE 5 - 2025

Co-Author

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BARELY

by:

Venetta

Cox-Mlynczyk

SURVIVING

TO

Surprisingly Thriving I could never have imagined this would be my life, or that I would now consider myself a seasoned griever, having been on this journey for 12 years.

Before tragedy struck, my life seemed idyllic with an amazing husband, two wonderful sons, Devon and Brandon, and a rewarding career as a college instructor, teaching dental assisting.

Then, in 2012, the world I knew shattered. The entire landscape of my life would devastatingly change in the blink of an eye. My seventeenyear-old son Brandon, was struck and killed by a motorist while cycling with two friends. Every parent’s worst nightmare became my nightmare.

Amid devastating grief, tragedy struck yet again. My older son, Devon, at twenty-three, who had recently graduated as a paralegal, sadly, died 6 months later, from an accidental overdose of alcohol and prescription medication, after struggling with the death of his brother.

As you can imagine, I was catapulted into a world of grief, that I never thought I would ever find a way to navigate. Living without my sons was unbearable. I often ruminated with intrusive suicidal thoughts. It seemed like the only cure to end this excruciating pain; I just wanted to die and be with them.

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It’s been a long harrowing journey to get to where I am today. A bereaved mom, who has been transformed by grief and resilience, and now believes that every day is a gift, even if life isn't perfect.

How do you get here, rediscovering joy, laughter, and happiness in life again after unimaginable loss? Well, grief becomes a friend, because really what choice do we have?

As I reflect on my journey, there were many building blocks that played a significant role in the direction of my grief, which I believe can be cornerstones for others on a similar path. Finding ways to cope begins the healing process.

reading Reading grief books and magazines can be extremely helpful, comforting and inspiring.

Realizing that you are not alone on this journey offers so much hope. Reading other’s stories of profound loss, how they survived, coped, and thrived, gives you new perspective and encouragement, that perhaps you will survive too, and maybe even thrive one day. As a griever, you will discover stories that deeply resonate, learning valuable insights from others who have traveled the grief highway before you, which can have a tremendous impact on your own journey.

therapy Therapy can be a game changer in grief. Finding the right fit is key. Leaning into grief and learning to process and explore the many messy emotions is so vital to moving forward. Therapy can definitely prevent getting stuck in grief. Grief is hard work. Engaging in grief and mourning will help integrate our loved one's loss into our lives.

Although grief is a lifelong journey, we can learn to live a meaningful life, carrying our loved ones with us, as we walk alongside grief. And sometimes a bit of wine therapy helps too, lol.

Support Groups Community

creativity Finding ways to channel your grief through artistic avenues will not only contribute to your healing, it can also be very rewarding at a time when your grief desperately needs an outlet. Learning something new and being creative can be so productive in grief, allowing your brain to redirect and switch gears, even if only for a while. For some it might be baking, drawing, painting, music or getting involved with theatre. You might just tap into a creative hidden passion you didn’t realize you had, allowing you the opportunity to grow through grief.

writing/

journaling

Writing is a powerful tool in healing. Journaling can be extremely therapeutic, helping to release pent up emotions, without the fear of being judged. For some, writing in a journal becomes a daily ritual, an outlet for expressing your inner most private thoughts, which can help you to process and work through messy emotions like anger and guilt. For others, they may decide to publicly share their story through a blog or writing a book. Putting yourself out there can be scary, but it's usually met with empathy and compassion from readers who appreciate your vulnerability and insights. Writing a book or blog about your grief and healing can not only be very cathartic, it will also offer comfort, connection, inspiration and hope to readers in the grief community.

nature Getting out in nature is so good for the soul when grieving. You may find gardening has new meaning in grief. For some, it may be healing to dig, plant and nurture a garden. For others it might be starting a walking or hiking group with fellow grievers in your local community. Whatever it is, it's all part of our journey toward healing.

and

Joining a support group and/or finding a community of fellow grievers that you can share your grief with can be an incredibly moving experience. It’s like being thrown a lifeline. There is comfort in sharing this intimate grief in a safe space with those who truly “get it”. Those who understand your pain better than anyone else ever could. As they say, find your tribe. We heal in community, where our grief is validated, witnessed and supported. Perhaps forging lifelong friendships. The ones who will become your BGF’s, best griefy friends.

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grief

yoga

Discovering yoga in grief can be empowering while keeping you grounded and present. Grief yoga is a compassionate practice to help you move through the pain of grief, while connecting with others. For many, it becomes a lifestyle in grief.

Family

and

Friends

If you are fortunate to have supportive family and friends, it can be so comforting and make a world of difference when we are engulfed in grief. They can literally keep you going, so hold them close, and let them know how much you appreciate their support. These are your people. But for some, this is not always the case. What I find helpful is to let people know how you want to be treated and supported in grief. I know, it’s disheartening that the griever often must take the initiative on this, but if you are honest with them, it will eliminate the elephant in the room.

Let them know what is most helpful for you, i.e.; that you are comfortable saying your loved one’s name and talking about them. That is a good starting point.

honoring ones

our

loved

Finding ways to honor our loved ones can be incredibly meaningful on our journey. It’s a significant part of our healing process. Whether it’s eating their favorite meal on their birthday, sharing their story on social media, a special ornament, or planting a tree, having a memorial park bench installed, a walk to remember, a bursary, donating to a charity, volunteering, or creating holiday cards in their honor, keeps us connected to them, and gives purpose to grief.

Grief has no end, but it changes shape, and we grow around it with the love and support of our community and friends. It's not easy, but you can choose to heal, and choose to live in the sunshine of your loved one’s life, rather than the dark shadow of their death. Griever’s become the evidence that someone’s life made a difference.

Venetta is a bereaved mother who has endured the unimaginable loss of her only two children.

She is the author of the award-winning book “The Worst Life Has to Offer: A Mother's Grief Journey to the Other Side of Sadness.”

In her poignant memoir, Venetta shares her heartbreaking story of loss and the profound journey through grief.

Despite facing life's most brutal tragedy, she has emerged as a symbol of hope and resilience, inspiring others to find strength in the face of overwhelming adversity. ey | moth ourn ers iefj gr r ie sg r fjo e h

et y.n e n ur

@m ot GET GRIEFY - ISSUE 5 - 2025

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GRIEF AS A GATEWAY Finding Meaning After Loss

By: Nina Rodriguez | Grief + Light

Pictured: Nina Rodriguez. Art Basel Miami ‘Vesica, 2024’, art piece by Lyndi Sales

Grief is often seen as a thief—robbing us of our sense of security, identity, and joy, leaving us staring into the shattered reflection of life as we knew it. But what if we flipped that narrative?

What if grief wasn’t a wrecking ball destroying your life but a master sculptor, reshaping you into a truer version of yourself?

Painful, undeniably.

Transformative, absolutely.

A point of nuance—this isn’t about suggesting loss happens for our growth.

It’s about how we make meaning despite the pain. As Pulitzer Prize-winning poet Mary Oliver wrote in her poem “The Summer Day”: “Doesn't everything die at last, and too soon? / Tell me, what is it you plan to do / with your one wild and precious life?”

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A Sacred Pause : Realigning with Purpose Grief disrupts the routines we once took for granted, forcing us to pause.

But in that sacred pause, we’re given the rare opportunity to shed what no longer serves us, and realign with our true purpose, people, and identity.

Grief holds up a mirror, revealing our deepest values and priorities. Many grievers find that things they once deemed important—such as material possessions or professional accolades—fade in significance, while relationships, presence, and purpose take center stage.

By learning about the nature of grief, cultivating grieftending practices, and developing a shared language around loss, you gain the strength and agency to navigate life after loss on your own terms.

Within a supportive community, we can discover unexpected reservoirs of courage. We witness resilience in action, finding inspiration in the journeys of those who have walked similar paths.

As spiritual teacher Ram Dass said,

“We are all just walking each other Home.”

For example, after a loss, individuals may re-prioritize their lives, choosing to spend more time with family or finally pursue long-held personal dreams.

Grief invites us to ask: What really matters? It's not just about loss, it's about recalibrating our lives to align with what truly matters after profound change.

Finding Your Grief Tribe Grief can feel isolating, but it wasn’t meant to be a solitary journey. Just as joy is amplified through shared experiences, grief is best navigated within a supportive community.

Finding your “grief tribe”—a group of people who understand, support, and honor your unique experience—can be transformative. This isn't about moving on or minimizing your pain.

It’s about those who show up, hold space, and say, “I see you. I’m here.”

Beyond witnessing and support, some grief-informed communities offer education and tools to empower you on your journey.

The “Both/And” of Life By divine design, grief teaches us to embrace duality, as we learn to honor the full spectrum of our human condition. It teaches us to hold both joy and sorrow, hope and heartbreak—felicitreza, as I call it. This “both/and” perspective is a hallmark of the human experience—we can laugh while still missing a loved one or feel pride in our growth, while wishing the loss never happened.

These cracks in our hearts, as Leonard Cohen wrote, are “how the light gets in.” They guide us toward transformation, helping us realign with our authentic selves.

Grief challenges us to reclaim agency over how we move forward, often with greater compassion and clarity.

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Post-Traumatic Growth While distinct, grief and trauma sometimes overlap, profoundly altering our lives.

The concept of post-traumatic growth (PTG), coined by psychologists Richard Tedeschi and Lawrence Calhoun, acknowledges the potential for positive transformation following trauma. This growth can manifest in five areas: appreciation for life, strengthened relationships, new possibilities in life, personal strength, and spiritual change.

PTG doesn’t ignore pain; it acknowledges it as part of the process, and offers the possibility that negative experiences can spur a deeper appreciation for life. Accessing this state of understanding can be achieved through: education, emotional regulation, giving a voice to our experience (disclosure), narrative development, and service.

Heart-centered curiosity is also a powerful tool to help us meet each moment as it is. After losing my only sibling, Yosef, two guiding questions that help me foster PTG are: 'What wisdom does this feeling offer in this moment?' and 'How can I carry his love and light forward today?’ Reflecting on these regularly helps me reconnect with my authentic self and purpose.

Other prompts to help you reframe your experience: What truly matters to me now?

How can I align my actions accordingly?

What no longer serves my growth, and how can I let it go?

Answers often emerge in stillness. Moments of quiet reflection, such as spending time in nature, can be incredibly powerful. These insights gradually lead to profound shifts, like increased intentionality, deeper connection, and an increased capacity for empathy and joy in our engagement with the world.

Grief as a Universal Language As storyteller John Onwuchekwa says, “Grief is a language. The goal isn’t finishing. It’s fluency.”

Although grief is a universal experience, we live in the context of a grief-averse, grief-illiterate society (some of us are working to change that). Learning to speak the “language of grief” involves understanding its nuances: that it has no timeline, that each journey is unique, and that the most loving response to loss is often embodied presence rather than platitudes.

Becoming fluent in grief is life-affirming, paradoxically deepening our capacity to experience the fullness of what it means to be alive. As death doula and bestselling author Alua Arthur said, life encompasses both the awe of being human and the ‘awww’ of the things that hurt. Our role is to revel in the mystery of our existence as we honor it all.

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@grief an

t igh dl

A valuable starting point for becoming “grief fluent” is by learning from those who have navigated loss and found a path forward. This can be achieved through engaging with various forms of expression, such as podcasts, books, poetry, art, community gatherings, social media platforms, or attending events that center grief.

Focus on the resources that resonate most with you, and maintain an open mind to new ways of connecting with yourself and others through the shared language of grief.

Grieve Fully, Live Fully Co-Author

Grief is not the end of your story. It is the sculptor’s hands, reshaping us into someone who can hold duality as we move forward. Lean in and allow it to transform your life fully, as though it were a gateway to the more aligned, intentional, and authentic version of you.

As renowned poet, Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer, wrote in her poem “Condition” from the collection The Unfolding: “you meet this grief every moment.

You find inner doors you never knew were there and you swing them open, not to rid yourself of the ache, but to grant it full access, to know the grief completely, to let it rewrite you, remake you, rebirth you, to let it teach you what it means to be alive.”

If you’re navigating a season of loss, consider this your invitation to lean into the discomfort, the questions, the community that’s waiting to walk beside you, and the wisdom grief has yet to share with you. Together, we can carry the weight of grief and let its light guide us as we find meaning in our beautifully imperfect lives.

Nina Rodriguez is an International Grief Guide, educator, podcaster, and speaker who helps people navigate grief with hope and agency. Following the unexpected loss of her only sibling, Yosef, she founded GRIEF AND LIGHT, a podcast and supportive online community to educate and empower individuals navigating loss and life-altering change.

Through the podcast, grief circles, publications, collaborations, social media, and The Community, Nina aims to foster a more griefinformed, hopeful world.

Learn more at: griefandlight.com.

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Life is Changin f o g End F o r th e B ett er Pictured: The End Well Team on stage, 2024 (left to right) Tracy Wheeler, Dr. Shoshana Ungerleider, Molly Rosenfeld

By: Stephanie Sarazin During her first year of medical residency, Shoshana Ungerleider recognized a problem: many doctors were struggling through end-of-life conversations with their patients, but worse, most weren’t even attempting them. While likely not the first to identify the issue, few have taken such significant action toward a solution. A decade later, Dr. Shoshana Ungerleider, MD is recognized as an Oscar-nominated documentary film producer, producer, and host of TED Health and the Podcast Host of “Before We Go”. But she is perhaps best known for starting the End Well Foundation, a nonprofit organization on a mission to spark meaningful conversations about how we live and how we die.

Since its inception in 2017, End Well has operated at the unique intersection of pop culture and health care, inviting a diverse community including thought leaders, clinicians, providers, and families, around important end-of-life conversations.

Through education and advocacy, the End Well Foundation is serving hundreds of thousands through free online learning events, and working to influence the way illness, dying, and death are portrayed in movies and on TV. But it is the annual End Well symposium that is catalyzing end-of-life education like never before.

This past November, I joined hundreds of End Wellers in Los Angeles for the annual in-person event- and I learned so much! It was one short day with an actionpacked agenda that included an exceptional line-up of speakers, engaging topics, stimulating workshops, and creative activities. Among thoughtfully curated areas were a resource center, and a “Feelings Space”, a clinician-created room designated to support the diverse sensory, somatic, and emotional needs of guests.

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Pictured: Dr. Ungerleider welcomes attendees

Of all the valuable takeaways, my biggest “ah-ha” wasn’t wisdom imparted from the stage or delightfully discovered during an activity, but rather came via observations I made during the (well-timed) breaks:

MORE THAN SPARKING MEANINGFUL END-OF-LIFE CONVERSATIONS, END WELL HAS IGNITED A MOVEMENT.

I sat down with the mini but mighty team working year-round on End Well; Board Chair Dr. Ungerleider, Executive Director Tracy Wheeler, and Chief of Staff Molly Rosenfeld, a few weeks after the 2024 event to talk about the community they’ve created and the many ways in which collaboration has been instrumental to their success.

Get Griefy: How did others respond when you first started sharing the idea of what would ultimately become End Well?

Shoshana: I’d done this cool workshop where we were thinking about how to redesign the end-of-life experience and that got me thinking about how to bring together diverse stakeholders. My husband was really encouraging. I would be telling him how I didn’t know how to do events or how to use social media and he’d say, ‘no one does – you just need to figure it out’. Without his early encouragement, I don’t think I would’ve had the confidence to even try this.

Also, I was, and am, on the Board of Trustees of a hospital foundation in San Francisco (CPMC) and pitched the idea of hosting a conference with a TEDstyle format and inviting diverse voices to speak about redesigning the end of life, but not just from a healthcare perspective – and they agreed. So, I called up 15 friends who were working as writers, doctors, activists, and musicians and asked them to do a talk about end-of-life. Everybody kind of said, “Wow, that sounds weird and cool...but nobody said no!

In the process of planning, I sought out consultant support and that’s how I met Tracy. We sold out of our 350-400 tickets a couple of months in advance, so, we understood there was some “there” there.

Tracy: After that, it was really like “What are we doing?”. It was intense, Shoshana did everything. So, we had a lot of conversations about expanding and reaching more people – and we did! Shoshana is a manifester, I could say that I’m looking for an oncologist who is also a macrame artist and she would say, “I just sat next to that person on the plane!”

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MAKE END Connecting on breaks, phones were for photos

End Well interactive art

OF LIFE

PART OF End Well Speaker Sah D'Simone, Spiritual Revolutionary, Artist & Author leading the audience through an energy-moving exercise

End Well attendees lunch and learn

Get Griefy: There’s something to that, isn’t there? Being open about who you’re meeting and bringing a spirit of curiosity and wonder to each day.

Shoshana: Yes! Early on, I didn’t have a network in the end-of-life space, but getting involved with the films and connecting with people and teams in those spaces helped me and helped elevate the cache of End Well. While they weren’t directly related, it helped.

Tracy Wheeler and Molly Rosenfeld

Get Griefy: Having one person voicing support can make a big difference.

Have you experienced that?

Shoshana: We recognized the power of social media and started uploading our talks- and in no time, several went viral organically and one has more than 20 million views! As we grew, we started having celebrities on stage because I feel that leveraging their influence can encourage people who look up to their favorite singer or actor to say, ‘Well they went through this hard thing and so maybe I can, too’.

Tracy: In a lot of ways, it was about the combination from the start of collaborating with celebrities and identifying and uplifting the voices of experts, whether trained or through their life experiences, that makes us so different from other events that touch the healthcare space. And, collaboration for us is about fun. I don’t mean that we find this work funny - we learned quickly that if it doesn’t feel joyous to us, we don’t do it, or we do it a different way. Our values are important to us, they aren’t just surface values, we really do want to be radically brave, transparent, and honest.

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Get Griefy: Yes, once you know your values, you can bounce everything up against them to determine if they are a good fit for your stage, your audience, and your team. Molly, what was your perspective of End Well and the team when you were first coming on board as Chief of Staff?

Molly: I joined in February 2024, technically employee #2 which is wild, and like you, I was blown away by all that was being done by such a small team. The biggest ‘ah-ha’ for me, was the amount and the quality of work that this team was doing. Again, I had no idea how small this team was! I was shocked.

Shoshana: Haha! We tricked you!

Get Griefy: It sounds very “Ozian”. You’re about to meet the Wizard and when you pull back the curtain, you’re like wait a minute… it’s just Shoshana and Tracy?

Great and powerful nonetheless, but still a surprise. What else has surprised you along the way?

Tracy: For me, the biggest surprise was learning that healthcare professionals and clinicians were not trained in end-of-life…even clergy…and I thought, “If not you, then who”?

Another surprise, and maybe I woke up on the wrong side of the bed today, is how the forprofit world “gets us” yet doesn’t support us.

We have spun our wheels with our offerings but ultimately, the majority decline.

Shoshana: From a corporate responsibility perspective, you’d think there’d be interest, but so far there just hasn’t been. However, I have been pleasantly surprised by the enthusiastic embrace from younger generations – they are increasingly open to leaning into hard topics like end-of-life. It’s beautiful and wonderful and gives me hope for the future.

Molly: (a Millennial) Illness, death, and dying have been a constant thread in my life since high school, from caring for my terminally ill father, who passed when I was 23, and my grandmother a year later. Recently, I unexpectedly became a caregiver again, reigniting a deep calling within me. I left my tech career to try my hand at being a death doula and geriatric care manager, driven by a need to make a difference.

Following End Well for years, I reached out to Tracy on LinkedIn. There wasn’t an open role, but we met for a conversation and discovered we lived just a couple blocks from one another – it felt like kismet. Joining the team at this pivotal moment allows me to not only contribute to their vital work today but to help shape the future of End Well.

Get Griefy: I’m hearing from your answers that collaboration isn’t just about teaming up with others, it’s also collaborating with yourself- recognizing your own desires or raising your hand to co-create something. In many ways, collaboration really is a two-way street.

Tracy: Humans are complicated. We’ve got to stay in collaboration with all aspects of ourselves, our scared selves, our best selves… if we don’t, we lock down and we can’t deliver and share the way we want to. I think we’re trying to lead with love and model that.

Molly: We all come from wildly different backgrounds, but together, that really lends to creating a fun, interesting, and creative team.

Get Griefy: Anything more to add? What would be most helpful for readers to know?

Shoshana: Tell your story and join the conversation – these are hard conversations, but we’re here to support you.

Tracy: Be an End Well Ambassador. That’s not an actual program, but it means being a person not afraid to show up for other people, and who asks to hear about grievers’ loved ones.

Molly: Agreed! That’s what happens at End Well- it’s such a powerful day and we’re committed to extending these conversations to an even bigger audience but need help. From the outside looking in, we look like we must be some giant team with endless funds, but that’s just not the case, which just goes to show the power of collaboration.

Shoshana: Your story deserves to be told. With a bit of courage and the right people by your side, you can overcome any challenge that comes your way. So take that bold step forward—you're more capable than you realize. Every great journey starts with a single moment of bravery.​​ For more information, or to inquire about potential collaborations, please visit endwellproject.org or email hello@endwellproject.org Financial donations are greatly appreciated in any amount and are tax-deductible.

Simply text Endwell24 to 5355 or click the donate button at endwellproject.org to support End Well today.

Photo Credit:Michael Kovac for End Well

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LOST & FOUND My Journey Through Grief Without Death By: Stacey L. Stevens

I remember the day like it was yesterday. I was alone, staring into a life that I worked so hard to build. Starting from leaving home at 15 and spending years working to prove that I could succeed all the while living a lie. On paper, everything looked perfect: I had a thriving career, two incredible children, and a 22 year marriage. But behind the carefully constructed façade, I was drowning in a grief I couldn’t explain.

A grief that came from the loss of the person I could have been if only things had been different. Despite my successes, I had lived a lifetime of feeling hollow, disconnected, and exhausted from holding up the weight of a life that was never really my own. My marriage was suffocating me, my joy had faded, and despite all I’d accomplished, I couldn’t escape the question that echoed inside me:

IS THIS ALL THERE IS? GET GRIEFY - ISSUE 5 - 2025

I believed that all I needed was one bold move—to leave my marriage—and everything would fall into place. I thought freedom was the answer, that reclaiming myself was as simple as walking away from the life that no longer served me.

I doubled down on the “I’m fine” persona. I presented myself as someone who had it all together, someone who didn’t need sympathy or support. Just another piece of armour, another layer of protection that protected me from the pain inside.

I was wrong.

Eventually, I married and had children. I accomplished my life goal and became a lawyer. On the surface, it appeared that I had built a stable, “normal” life.

Outwardly, I was a capable wife and mother, working hard to support my family and pursuing my goals.

Inwardly, I was isolated and trapped in an emotionally manipulative codependent relationship. But that’s ok right; I am Stacey and I can handle anything.

Even after leaving and changing everything around me, I realized I was still grieving. I had somehow expected a miracle to happen. An overnight transformation and that I would finally resurface like an old childhood friend. That’s when the truth hit me: the only thing I hadn’t changed was me.

And so began the hardest journey of my life—the journey to rebuild myself. It was a journey into the deepest parts of my grief, my resilience, and the identity armours I had been wearing for most of my life.

It all started when I left home at 15. I went from a young girl with a good home to a scared teenager trying to survive in a world I wasn’t ready for. To make it, I crafted my first piece of armour: the tough, invincible exterior of someone who could handle anything. I became a chameleon, blending into whatever environment I found myself in, hiding my loneliness and fear behind a mask of strength.

Five years later, I returned home and added new armour by burying the trauma and refused to let people see me as a victim.

So it seemed natural to add another identity armour on top of the ones I was already wearing. This time, I became “the strong one,” the breadwinner, the glue that held everything together. I didn’t allow myself to fall apart because I believed everything would crumble if I did.

It’s not like I didn’t feel the weight of these armours. But I justified it by telling myself that becoming a lawyer would make me whole. That after I crossed the finish line, I would be back where I should have been and by some miracle I could finally be free to be myself. But, even after leaving my marriage and becoming a lawyer, I was still the same woman hiding behind the same identity armors still mourning the loss of my 15 year old self. Until I realized that the thing that needed to change was me.

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Letting go of my identity armours was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. For years, they protected me from rejection, fear, and pain. But they had also kept me from experiencing true connection and joy. I began by asking myself hard questions:

What am I protecting myself from?

What parts of me have I hidden or abandoned?

Why do I keep repeating the same patterns?

The answers were painful. I realized that I didn’t need to wear my toughness and refusal to show vulnerability anymore because I didn’t need to survive anymore.

I allowed myself to mourn the parts of me I had lost along the way and imagine the person I could have been if I hadn’t spent so many years in survival mode.

This grief was necessary. It allowed me to honor my past while creating space for my future.

Shedding my armour didn’t erase the struggles I faced, but it allowed me to process them with honesty and grace. It gave me the freedom to reconnect with myself, embrace vulnerability, and live authentically.

To anyone reading this, I offer this: The journey to reclaim yourself is worth it. Be patient. Be compassionate. And remember, the strength you’ve built through your armour isn’t lost when you take it off—it’s transformed into something far more powerful: the courage to be who you truly are.

Stacey Stevens is an award winning inspirational speaker and a transformative advocate for high-achieving women, guiding them to shed the identity armor that holds them back and rediscover the power of their authentic selves. Through her work, she empowers women to break free from societal and selfimposed expectations, reconnect with their inner desires, and create lives of fulfillment, confidence, and purpose.

Instagram: @staceylstevens

Identify Your Armour: Reflect on the roles you’ve played and the walls you’ve built. Ask yourself what you’re protecting yourself from and what parts of you are hidden.

Honor Its Purpose: Your armour served you at one point. Acknowledge what it gave you—strength, safety, resilience but recognize when it’s holding you back.

Grieve What You’ve Lost: Mourn the parts of you that were silenced or set aside. This grief is painful but necessary for growth.

Keep the Best Parts: Your armour has strengths worth preserving. Integrate the qualities that serve you while letting go of the fear and shame that created them.

Practice Vulnerability: True connection comes from being seen. Start small by sharing your feelings with someone you trust. Vulnerability is not weakness; it’s courage.

Redefine Strength: Strength isn’t about never breaking; it’s about showing up as your true self, even when it’s hard. Redefine what strength means to you.

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The Healing

Power of Poetry: Embracing Resilience Through Grief By: Sandi Duverneuil

I was four years old when my mom started typing about the day my brother Billy died. I watched her navigate grief, moving from recounting the painful details to finding a more universal voice of grief and acceptance. Fast forward fifty years.

In my last conversation with my mom before she passed away from cancer, I sat on her hospital bed and shared, “I have all these books inside of me.” With a knowing smile, mom said, “Just do it. Start writing.” After her death, I kept that promise, and my first book—a collection of poems—was published. Grief is a personal experience, whether it’s the loss of a loved one, a relationship, a job, or a dream. Loss can be overwhelming. Yet, in the midst of it, healing is not only possible but essential for moving forward. I’ve found that poetry can be an incredible tool for processing grief, expressing emotions, and finding strength through vulnerability. Let’s explore how poetry helps us heal, release emotions, and nurture resilience. I’ll share some strategies for including poetry in your grief journey, empowering you to heal and move forward.

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Why Poetry Can Heal Grief Poetry is a gateway to the soul. When we experience loss, emotions can feel heavy.

Poetry offers a unique way to make sense of these emotions, distilling complex feelings into something safe, contained, and understandable.

01

Poetry Helps Us Externalize Our Emotions Grief often leads us to internalize our pain, which can be overwhelming.

Writing poetry helps release emotions that might otherwise stay trapped inside. Whether in short lines or longer verses, poetry allows our sadness, anger, confusion, and longing to exist outside of us. This externalization brings relief, offering a sense of release.

02

Poetry Makes the Abstract Concrete

Grief can be hard to define or understand.

Poetry gives that pain form, allowing us to look at it from different angles. By capturing grief in words, it becomes something we can hold, process, and understand. This helps bring coherence to what feels chaotic.

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03

Poetry Builds Emotional Resilience While grief can break us down, poetry has the power to rebuild. Writing or reading poems helps us engage with our emotions in ways that lead to acceptance and resilience. It gives us language to make meaning of our pain and supports the healing process.

Strategies for Using Poetry to Heal from Grief

Poetry is as simple as picking up a pen and a notebook. Here are some practical ways to use poetry to process grief.

Join us from home

Free-writing: Let the Words (and Emotions) Flow

try out these prompts!

Feel free to share

Start by free-writing. This technique involves writing continuously for a set time without worrying about grammar or structure. The goal is to let your thoughts flow uninterrupted, getting to the heart of what you feel and releasing your emotions. If you feel stuck, it can help to play soothing music while you write. Or sometimes high energy music is what you need to get into 'flow.'

Free-writing can be especially effective in grief because it asks for nothing but honesty. Set a timer for 10 minutes and let your emotions guide the pen. You might be surprised at how the words form into verses, almost like the poem writes itself. Trust the process and let it unfold.

Free-writing Prompt: Write for 10 minutes about how grief feels in your body today. What does it look like?

What words come to mind?

Use Poetry to Reframe Your Narrative When we experience loss, we often ask, “Why did this happen?” We can get stuck in a negative, helpless narrative. Poetry helps reframe that story, allowing us to empower ourselves through grief.

One way to do this is by contrasting the negative emotions tied to loss with moments of strength, love, or light. Acknowledge the pain while holding space for healing. This shift can be incredibly powerful.

Reframing Prompt: Write a poem where you describe grief and loss on one side, then counterbalance it with the strength, love, or peace that still exists.

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and

them with

@Peonies_Prose

Create Rituals with Poetry: A Daily Practice Healing from grief is a long-term process. Establishing a poetry ritual—whether you write in the morning, journal in verse at night, or reflect on a specific memory—helps keep your emotional healing at the forefront.

You don’t need to write perfect poems. A simple line or two acknowledging how you feel can be just as powerful. A daily poetic practice nurtures resilience and provides a space for your grief to evolve.

Daily Poetry Ritual: Each morning, write one line about how you’re feeling. It doesn’t need to rhyme or be perfect—just acknowledge your emotions.

Read Healing Poetry for Reflection and Comfort Not everyone feels ready to write, and that’s okay.

Reading poetry can also be incredibly healing. Reading poems about grief can remind us that our emotions are not unique, that others have walked this painful path too. Poetry provides comfort by offering language for what feels inexpressible, allowing us to sit with our grief without the pressure to “fix” it.

Reading Poetry Prompt: Find a poem about grief and read it slowly. Reflect on how it resonates with your own experience and what it reveals about healing.

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The Science Behind Poetry and Healing

Embracing the Healing Power of Poetry

While the personal benefits of poetry are well known, there’s also scientific evidence supporting its healing power. Research on expressive writing shows that creative writing can reduce stress, improve emotional well-being, and even enhance immune function.

Grief is a journey, and there’s no right way to heal. But poetry offers a path forward— one that invites us to express, reflect, and ultimately find peace. Whether you write or read poetry, it provides a way to make sense of loss, honor our emotions, and rebuild our sense of self.

Expressive writing helps people process emotional trauma and reduce psychological distress. This suggests that writing— especially poetry—can facilitate emotional healing. The vivid metaphors and imagery used in poetry also help regulate emotions, offering new perspectives on pain and suffering.

Incorporating poetry into your grief process gives you permission to feel, to heal, and to grow. It reminds us that grief, though painful, is a doorway to resilience and transformation. As you navigate grief, remember: you are not alone, and healing is possible. Let poetry be the companion that offers solace and strength, helping you embrace your resilience.

Sandi Duverneuil is an international educator, writer and founder of Peonies & Prose.

She shares the healing power of poetry to work through grief and loss and build resilience.

Connect with her @peonies_prose or at www.peoniesandprose.com GET GRIEFY - ISSUE 5 - 2025

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Pockets of Support

The Importance of Grief Groups

by: Shawn Dinneen

When my fiancé, John, passed away in 2022, my entire world shattered. I was overwhelmed by the sheer weight of grief, unsure of what kind of support I needed. I just knew one thing with absolute clarity: I couldn’t do this alone. At the time, I thought I was searching for a magical solution that would make the pain disappear. What I didn’t realize was that grief isn’t something you cure. It’s a journey you navigate, and along the way, there are tools and support systems that can make it just a little more bearable.

It was by sheer luck that I stumbled upon a pamphlet at the funeral home that led me to Mary's Place A Center for Grieving Children and Families in Windsor, CT. The pamphlet advertised a support group specifically for young widows, and something inside me clicked. This was where I needed to be. I didn’t have a clear idea of what to expect, but I knew I had to try.

In the immediate aftermath of loss, it’s easy to lean heavily on family and close friends. If you’re fortunate enough to have a strong support network, that initial comfort can feel like all you need.

However, as the weeks and months go by, the people around you often return to their routines. Their lives move forward while yours feels like it’s standing still.

This isn’t to say that friends and family don’t care— they absolutely do—but there’s a depth to grief that only those who’ve walked the same path can truly understand.

This is where grief groups come in. For me, the most meaningful support came from people who were in my shoes, who understood the turmoil and heartbreak in a way others couldn’t. At Mary’s Place, I found a room full of people who spoke the same language of loss.

Every meeting began with each of us saying the name of the person we had lost and how they passed. It was an emotional and often tearful moment, but it was also deeply cathartic. For me, this practice was a turning point. Saying John’s name out loud in a space where I didn’t have to explain my pain or mask my emotions was liberating.

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Over time, I became more comfortable sharing his name and story without bursting into tears. It felt like a kind of rehearsal for rejoining the world outside—a world full of people who hadn’t experienced such profound loss.

I always compare it to stuffing yourself with food on Thanksgiving and that relief you get when you can finally unbutton your now too tight pants. Grief is still a part of my life, but I’ve found ways to carry it that feel less overwhelming. And much of that is thanks to What surprised me most about the group was how the support and camaraderie I found in my group. much laughter we shared. Grief can be unbearably heavy, but in that room, we often found humor in the If you’re navigating loss, I encourage you to explore absurdities of our new lives. We laughed about our the resources available in your community. Funeral “griefy” thoughts and the strange situations we homes, hospices, and online directories and even encountered. This laughter didn’t diminish our pain; Facebook groups are often good places to start. Many instead, it offered a release, a reminder that joy and organizations offer specialized groups for different sorrow can coexist. Leaving those meetings with a smile types of loss, whether it’s the death of a spouse, on my face felt like a small victory every time. parent, child, or friend. If in-person groups aren’t accessible or comfortable for you, there are also One of the most significant benefits of joining a grief virtual support groups that can provide similar group is the freedom to be completely yourself. In the benefits. outside world, you often feel the need to put on a brave face, to reassure others that you’re doing “fine” even The key is to find your own pocket of support—a place when you’re falling apart inside. In a grief group, there’s where you feel seen, heard, and understood. It might no need for pretense. You can show up broken, raw, and take time to find the right fit, but don’t give up. The struggling, and you’ll be met with understanding and connections you make and the insights you gain can compassion. be a lifeline as you navigate the complexities of grief.

Grief is an unwelcome companion, but it doesn’t have This sense of community is invaluable. It’s a place where to be faced alone. By seeking out support groups and you don’t have to explain or justify your feelings. connecting with others who understand, you can find Everyone there gets it because they’ve been there, too. moments of light in the darkness. For me, Mary’s They know what it’s like to cry in the grocery store Place became a sanctuary, a space where I could because you saw your loved one’s favorite snack or to honor John’s memory while learning to live with my feel the pang of loneliness during what used to be a loss. It taught me that while grief doesn’t have a cure, shared routine. In a grief group, you’re surrounded by it does have companions—and those companions people who nod in recognition instead of offering empty make all the difference. platitudes.

It is definitely a challenge taking that first step. Joining a grief group is not easy. It’s intimidating to walk into a room full of strangers and share the most vulnerable parts of yourself. The fear of the unknown can be paralyzing. But I urge anyone who’s grieving to take that first step. Push through the discomfort and the fear, and give yourself the chance to find connection and understanding. Also know that there are a variety of them out there, so you may need to try a few until you find one that is right for you and your needs.

For me, the benefits of being part of a grief group unfolded gradually. It wasn’t an instant fix (because there’s no such thing), but over time, I began to notice the difference it made. I felt less isolated, more understood, and a little more hopeful. I would feel the tension of grief building in the days leading up to my meetings and would really look forward to my meeting days knowing I would leave experiencing a release of that build up. .

Shawn Dinneen is the creator of HeartStrings Journals, a business born from her personal journey of healing after the loss of her fiancé, John in 2022. Through journaling, Shawn found comfort and a way to transform her pain into purpose.

HeartStrings Journals now offers over 70 prompted and blank-lined journals, with something for everyone, making journaling approachable for all ages and stages of life. Shawn is passionate about helping others navigate their darkest moments by fostering connection, healing, and hope.

You can find Shawn at www.HeartStringsJournals.com Instagram @heartstrings_journals

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Make Sure Your Child is Remembered

“You do not need to be a writer to be an author” -H. Totten, Editor & Writing Coach

There is Only ONE Start date for Volume 6 (March 5, 2025) Reach Out TODAY - Limited Spots Available

stories compiled by

Melissa Bottorff-Arey

YOUR CHILDS STORIES & MEMORIES - IN A PRINTED BOOK melissa@theleftoverpieces.com

Because Legacy Matters

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A few years before my dad passed away unexpectedly, he gifted me a collection of items that had belonged to his late sister, Margie, who had tragically died at 19. These keepsakes—her journals, artwork, scrapbooks, and slides—were carefully preserved by her parents as a way to hold onto her vibrant life. My dad believed that one day, I could do something meaningful with them.

Four years ago, I decided to fulfill his wish, crafting a book that told Margie’s story.

That project transformed those keepsakes into a cherished family heirloom and awakened a new purpose for me. It inspired the creation of my custom album design company where I now dedicate my work to helping others honor and celebrate their loved ones by preserving their stories. This experience took me back to my father’s funeral, where we displayed dozens of photos and personal items on a memorial table. Afterward, most of these treasures were packed away, leaving only a few images to resurface at milestone moments throughout the years. As I continue to design my father’s album today, I’ve come to recognize just how challenging it can be to revisit someone’s life through photos.

The need for a service like mine—someone to thoughtfully piece together a story—is clear even in my own family. Each time I work on an album for a client, I take a step closer to finally honoring my dad in the same compassionate way I design for others. While we often celebrate life’s big events—weddings, babies, anniversaries— I’ve come to believe that honoring someone’s life after death is one of the most meaningful celebrations of all.

Throughout my career, I’ve collaborated with other album design companies, whose work I deeply admire for capturing the joy of milestones like weddings and family memories.

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However, my focus shifted further when I partnered with The Fly High Foundation, a nonprofit dedicated to supporting families who have experienced early child loss. Designing memorial albums for these families was an emotionally profound experience. Working closely with grieving parents— witnessing their strength in the face of unimaginable loss— helped me better understand my own grief. These albums required immense compassion, grace, and patience. As a mother of two young children myself, I initially doubted my emotional stamina to take on such heartbreaking stories. Yet, I found that even in the brief lives of these angelic children, there was so much love to honor.

These experiences reaffirmed the importance of my work. For many, visiting the pages of an album provides a sacred space to connect with a loved one, offering comfort in a way that quite possibly, nothing else can. Losing my father marked a turning point in my life. The day I buried him, the spark that fueled my ambition seemed to extinguish. Yet, through the stories I’ve helped preserve and the connections I’ve made, I’ve discovered a new light.

Each client I meet, and each album I design, reignites my connection to life, myself and loved ones we thought were lost.

This year, I’ve found even more inspiration by connecting with others who champion grief awareness.

Joining a network of grief specialists and sharing our stories has underscored the importance of vulnerability and authenticity in this work. These connections remind me that grief, though deeply personal, is a universal experience that binds us all. We’re all navigating the same journey, paddling through life’s uncertainties.

Grief is an inevitable part of that journey, but it can also be a source of growth and connection.

While I no longer experience the raw shock of fresh loss, I carry the weight of extended grief—the ongoing reality that loss can strike again. Yet, over the past 15 years since that gutting loss, I’ve gathered tools and insights that help me face grief with an open heart. As Jamie Anderson said, “Grief is just love with nowhere to go.”

Those words resonate deeply, reminding me that grief is a reflection of the love we carry forward.

Today, my passion lies in creating custom, high-end photo books that celebrate not just life’s joyous moments but also the legacies of those we’ve lost. Honoring the deceased doesn’t end with a funeral; it continues through the stories we preserve, the memories we share, and the love we keep alive for future generations.

Through my work, I’ve learned that these albums are more than just collections of photos; they are enduring vessels of love and remembrance. They hold the power to bridge generations, offering solace in sorrow and joy in reflection. In creating these albums, it has also sparked a journey that continues to heal and connect, reminding us all of the power of love and the stories that keep it alive.

Amy Ripley is a graphic designer and founder of ShoeBox Albums. She is a partner with many local grief groups and organizations, sharing her talents to support those who need the touch of memories the most. site: shoeboxalbums.com @shoebox_albums

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A

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G R I E F

J O U R N E Y

BY: JAN JANZEN

That’s why community—even the smallest connection—is so vital. Community is the antidote to isolation. It’s the place where you’re reminded that you’re not alone, that others have walked through similar pain and emerged stronger, and that your story matters.

He

The Healing Power of Connection

Grief is one of life’s most challenging experiences, touching every corner of our existence—our relationships, our sense of purpose, and even our physical wellbeing. It isolates us, forcing us to confront an emotional storm that can feel overwhelming and deeply personal.

But here’s the truth about grief: it was never meant to be carried alone.

The path through loss, while deeply individual, is also profoundly communal.

Healing together, within the safety of a supportive community, allows us to transform pain into strength, isolation into connection, and despair into hope.

As someone who has walked through the valleys of grief, I’ve learned that leaning into the presence and power of others is not just comforting; it’s transformational.

The Isolation of Grief Grief often feels like a private storm.

You’re lost in the chaos of emotions— sadness, anger, confusion, guilt—and the world around you seems to move forward as if nothing has changed. In this space, it’s easy to feel disconnected, even from those who care about you. Well-meaning friends and family often don’t know what to say, and their silence can make the isolation even more profound.

But here’s the thing about isolation: it feeds grief, giving it space to grow unchecked. When we stay locked within our pain, we inadvertently give it more power.

Healing together starts with vulnerability —the courage to say, “I’m not okay,” and to allow others to hold space for you. In those moments of shared honesty, something extraordinary happens. Your pain becomes lighter, not because it disappears, but because it’s shared.

Grief, when carried by many, becomes a collective act of healing.

However, not everyone will understand your grief. This can be one of the hardest truths to accept. People who have not experienced profound loss may struggle to empathize, even with the best intentions. Their words, or even their silence, may feel dismissive or insufficient. It’s not because they don’t care, but because grief is something that must be lived to be truly understood.

This is why finding others who understand—whether through shared experience or genuine empathy—is so important. Grief connects us deeply when we find those who can walk alongside us without judgment or the need to "fix" anything.

Grace in the Messy Middle Grief often feels messy, unpredictable, and exhausting. I call this space the Messy Middle™—the in-between time where you’re no longer in the life you once knew, but you haven’t yet arrived at a place of peace or acceptance. It’s a raw, uncomfortable season, but it’s also where the most profound transformation occurs.

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During the Messy Middle™, community acts as a beacon. It’s in the shared laughter, the exchanged stories, and even the tears shed together that you find moments of grace. These moments remind you that healing is not linear, and it’s okay to feel messy and human.

They also teach you that the Messy Middle™ is not a place you stay forever; it’s a passage you walk through— together.

The Role of Collaboration in Healing

Collaboration takes connection to the next level. It’s not just about being present for each other; it’s about actively creating something together—a memory, a legacy, or even a new perspective on life.

Collaborative healing might look like: Creative Projects: Writing a poem, creating art, or building something tangible that honors the memory of a loved one.

Supportive Groups: Joining or forming groups where everyone’s voice matters, and the act of sharing becomes a collective balm.

Acts of Service: Volunteering together or contributing to a cause can transform pain into purpose, connecting you to something greater than yourself.

When we collaborate in our healing, we acknowledge that grief doesn’t just take; it also gives. It gives us insight, compassion, and the ability to create meaning from loss.

Healing Beyond the Individual One of the most beautiful aspects of collaborative healing is that it extends beyond the individual. When we heal together, we create ripples of resilience that reach others. Your willingness to be vulnerable inspires someone else to open up. Your shared strength empowers others to face their own struggles. In this way, healing becomes a communal act, building a foundation of grace and growth for everyone involved.

Practical Steps to Healing Together If you’re navigating grief and seeking connection, here are some steps to help you embrace collaborative healing: 1. Start Small: Share your feelings with one trusted person. It could be a friend, a family member, or even a therapist.

2. Seek Community: Join a support group, either in person or online. Look for spaces That’s community—even the smallest where why you feel safe and understood. so vital.

Community is thein 3. connection—is Engage in Rituals: Create or participate antidote to isolation.

It’s the place where rituals that honor your loved one. These you’re reminded that you’re not alone,or could be as simple as lighting a candle that others as have walked through similar as involved hosting an annual event. and emerged stronger, and a that yourto 4. pain Collaborate Creatively: Find way story matters. channel your grief into creation. Whether it’s art, writing, or music, collaboration can be a powerful outlet.

5. Give Back: Use your experience to support others. Volunteering or mentoring can bring a sense of purpose to your pain.

A Final Thought Grief will never be easy, but it doesn’t have to be lonely.

In community and collaboration, we find the strength to face the pain and the grace to grow beyond it.

Together, we create spaces where healing is possible, where hope takes root, and where life, even after loss, can feel vibrant and meaningful again.

As you navigate your own Messy Middle™, remember this: You don’t have to do it alone. There is a world of connection waiting to hold you, heal with you, and help you move forward—together.

Reverend Jan Janzen, B. Msc., is an author, speaker, and transformational coach with over 40 years of entrepreneurial experience.

As a Reverend specializing in Metaphysical Science, she empowers individuals to navigate life’s challenges with grace and resilience. Through her books and workshops, Jan helps people embrace authentic living, establish unapologetic boundaries, and thrive in alignment with their truth.

Learn more at www.janjanzen.com.

Co-Author GET GRIEFY - ISSUE 5 - 2025

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NAVIGATING LOSS

EMBRACING GROWTH —By: Saskia Christian

TRANSFORMING GRIEF INTO PURPOSE The experience of grief often feels like a storm that suddenly descends upon us, uprooting our lives and leaving a trail of chaos in its wake. For me, this tempest began in my birth country of Guyana, where my father disappeared without a trace. The shock and confusion of that moment marked the beginning of a prolonged journey through profound sorrow, one that would force me to confront not only the loss of my father but also the depths of my own resilience.

In those early days following his disappearance, I felt as though I had been plunged into an abyss. Questions tormented my mind: Why did this happen? Where was he? Each day felt like an endless cycle of searching for answers that remained frustratingly out of reach. Grief is not a linear process; it ebbs and flows, sometimes crashing over me like a wave, and other times receding just enough to allow a breath of hope. Yet, amid this turmoil, I discovered a powerful opportunity for transformation—a chance to turn my pain into purpose.

THE JOURNEY OF UNDERSTANDING As I navigated the labyrinth of emotions, I began to understand that grief could serve as a profound teacher. It pushed me to reflect on the memories I cherished with my father, illuminating the love and lessons he imparted. I realized that instead of merely mourning his absence, I could celebrate his life and legacy. This shift in perspective became crucial to my healing journey and inspired me to honor his memory in meaningful ways.

One of the most impactful ways I found to channel my grief was through storytelling. Writing about my experiences became a cathartic outlet, allowing me to share my journey with others. By opening up about my father’s disappearance, I created a connection with individuals who had faced similar challenges. Sharing my story fostered a sense of understanding and compassion, building a community of support for those navigating loss.

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FINDING STRENGTH IN STRUGGLE Through my grief, I discovered that pain does not signify an end; rather, it can be a powerful motivator for pursuing a life of purpose. This realization inspired me to focus on helping others cultivate mental wellness and develop strategies for resilience and growth.

I have witnessed the remarkable ability of individuals to turn their grief into a driving force for personal transformation. The act of transforming sorrow into action is both liberating and empowering. It requires courage to face our pain and the willingness to seek help, but it is through these challenges that we uncover our inner strength.

THE STRENGTH OF COMMUNITY Grief can often feel isolating, but I have learned that we are not alone on this journey. Many individuals have faced similar losses, and together, we can provide much-needed support. My involvement in various community organizations has reaffirmed the incredible power of connection.

By sharing our stories, we build a network of resilience that uplifts everyone involved.

We remind each other that even in our darkest moments, there is hope for transformation.

During speaking engagements, I emphasize the importance of community in healing.

When we come together, we can reclaim our strength and collectively navigate the path toward healing.

EMBRACING GROWTH THROUGH GRIEF The lessons learned from grief are profound. It teaches us about the fragility of life and forces us to confront our vulnerabilities. As I looked back on my father’s life, I recognized the values he instilled in me—courage, kindness, and the importance of community.

These principles have guided my journey and inspired me to advocate for thought diversity, empowerment, and inclusion.

Our loved ones continue to influence our lives through our actions and the legacies we create. By embracing growth amidst grief, we honor their memory and forge a lasting impact. This transformation is not about forgetting our loved ones; it’s about carrying their spirit forward in all that we do.

AN INVITATION TO TRANSFORM For those who find themselves navigating their own grief, I invite you to take the first step toward transformation.

Reflect on the beautiful memories that resonate in your heart, share your story, and seek connections with others who understand your journey. Whether through writing, volunteering, or engaging in meaningful conversations, discover ways to channel your pain into purpose.

Empowerment begins within, but it is often ignited by the support of those around us. As you embark on this journey, know that vulnerability is a strength, and seeking help is a courageous act. The road to healing may be long, but it is filled with opportunities for growth and renewal.

As I continue to share my insights and the lessons I’ve learned, I am reminded that grief is not merely an end—it is a beginning. It is a beginning filled with possibilities for transformation, purpose, and resilience. It offers us the chance to honor our loved ones in ways that reflect their profound impact on our lives and inspire others in their own journeys of healing.

Together, let us turn our grief into purpose, crafting a legacy that honors those we’ve lost while empowering us to live authentically and fully. In doing so, we not only heal ourselves but also illuminate the path for others who are navigating their own experiences of grief.

Saskia Christian is a Trauma and Global Resilience Expert with 18 years of corporate engineering leadership experience and the Founder of BoostThru. Known for her transformative approach, she inspires individuals to overcome adversity and embrace purpose-driven growth.

An accomplished author and thought leader, Saskia’s work in resilience and personal empowerment has earned international recognition and global awards. She is dedicated to guiding others toward meaningful change and authentic fulfillment.

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Instagram @boostthru Site: www.boostthru.com

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Together, We Can

By: Melissa Bottorff-Arey

THIS IS LONELY, BUT YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE ALONE

Grief and the New Year are a formidable combination - stuck between foe and frienemy - at best. After the loss, just as the world moves forward in what feels like an unbelievable universal middle-finger situation, so do the people around us. It is as if we are stuck inside a small box, frozen in time, rendered mute, and inexplicably exhausted by an oppressive fog that consumes us. The swirling and twirling of life continue without regard or care for our broken hearts -- and there certainly was no permission asked, let alone granted.

Yet, just as 'pain happens but suffering is optional' (I believe that's the saying), I always say, 'This is lonely, but you don't have to be alone' because, as I discovered, it is accurate, and it matters. Community with fellow grievers matters immensely-- following a loss, yes, but I believe it matters going forward forever after.

Loss is both isolating and connecting. Ever since my son Alex died by suicide in 2016, I have felt more alone than I have ever felt in my life. And I have found some of the best people that I have ever met to call friends. Duality like these are both commonplace and sharp in our new, unwanted 'after' life The first few years, I was surviving, and (eventually) I leaned into those glimmers of hope that started to show up. Then, a year after beginning my podcast, around 2021, I started this little online grief support space for moms like me. I only had an inkling of what could happen - born of those hope sparks. In the years that followed, I was blown away - and still am at the power I see in this community.

I do, however, feel like a broken record some days, and 'find your community' is the lyrical skipping place on my album called "Grief." Over and over and over, I say it ... but with good and just reason. It matters in a way that a mask & snorkel matter for a diver, creating 'easier' air, with more ease and more moments to look around. We can dive, with or without a mask and snorkel... one experience is smoother, more precise, and less exhausting.

As I was over 3 years into my loss at the time (of starting my podcast), I recall saying the lockdown wasn't as hard for trauma survivors as we already knew about isolation, loneliness, and being kept at a distance for fear of what we have is 'contagious.’.

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So, going back to the topic of a new year. How do I 'do' New Year's Resolutions"? Well, I don't. They are heavy and restricting and set us up for defeat. Life in the new year became more straightforward when I reduced my expectations, my hope, to a guiding light -- a single word. A word is inspirational, offers guidance, and is forgiving and flexible.

I have kept a record of my "Word of the Year" going back to the fourth year after my loss, 2020—"The Great Freeze" -as a friend from down under calls it. I still use that term because it, in many ways, feels the most accurate—for a while, everything was just stopped, frozen...and yet, much like in grief, it had an illusionary quality - it was surreal. The calendar flipped the days away, yet things felt like we had gotten stuck in the movie "Groundhog Day." (I never liked that movie.)

It's interesting to see the progression of my healing just by reading the words: "aplomb," "flourish," "choose," "level up," and for 2024, I chose "impact." For 2025, I am on to "collaboration," and yes, I had picked it prior to planning for this article...it's a natural progression of the work in the years prior for me. It also fits well with my Get Griefy community involvement. It all comes together when we make the choices, do the work (and lean into our new community).

Finding your community is not just beneficial; it's essential during grief. It can dramatically shape your healing journey.

By seeking out support groups—both in-person and online —you open the door to connections that can provide understanding, empathy, camaraderie, and even collaboration. Embrace the process of trial and error to discover the space where you feel most comfortable and supported. Remember, the relationships you build can turn your pain into shared experiences, leading to unexpected friendships and opportunities. So take that first step; you never know who you might meet and how profoundly they could impact your life. Embrace the community that awaits you, and let it help you find light, even in the darkness.

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Co-Author

So where do we find these new best friends we never wanted (at least not for this reason) and now cannot imagine life without? An ideal starting place is in support groups. Then, look at the 'nooks and crannies' onlineFacebook, Instagram, Google searches, and beyond.

MELISSA IS THE CREATOR OF THE LEFTOVER PIECES: SUICIDE LOSS CONVERSATIONS, A PODCAST OFFERING SUPPORT AND INSIGHTS FOR THOSE NAVIGATING LIFE AFTER SUICIDE LOSS. SHE IS THE AUTHOR AND A CERTIFIED MASTER GRIEF COMPANION AND TRAUMA-INFORMED HEALER. MELISSA INSPIRES OTHERS THROUGH HER POWERFUL STORY, FOSTERING HOPE AND RESILIENCE IN THOSE SHE REACHES.

@theleftoverpieces

'I also know that the pandemic stole many precious lives too soon and multiplied loss exponentially for the world around us— not how we wanted to find commonality. Yet, ultimately, as death is the ultimate shared human condition, we all find ourselves a mourner at some point.

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a call no parent wants

BY: ERIN BLECHMAN

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On June 3, 2020, my husband, Bill, and I received the call no parents ever want to get—our eldest son, Max, had taken his life the night before. I was still in bed when I heard Bill crashing up the stairs, screaming, “Max is gone! He’s gone!” Before he even entered the room, I remember thinking, “Gone where?” It’s strange the thoughts that surface in moments of profound trauma.

Finding My People My healing truly began when I joined a suicide loss support group. I’ll never forget our first meeting. There were about 30 people on Zoom, each in their own little box. When I shared Max’s story, heads began to nod. I saw understanding, empathy, and encouragement reflected back at me. For the first time, I felt less alone.

Max had struggled with mental and physical health issues for years, but his death still left us stunned. After all, can you ever truly fathom losing your child?

It wasn’t that my friends and family didn’t care—they simply couldn’t fully understand. Therapists offered valuable insights but often from a clinical perspective. My faith community wanted to help but didn’t always know how, often resorting to platitudes. That support group taught me a powerful truth: we heal best in community.

My Son Max Max was extraordinary, and his absence is a wound that will never fully heal. He was intelligent, creative, quirky, sensitive, kind, compassionate—the list goes on. At fifteen months, he spoke in full sentences. Between kindergarten and first grade, he read his first Harry Potter book. In his short time with us, he wrote poetry, short stories, and song lyrics; performed stand-up comedy routines; played the drums and banjo; and formed several bands.

Max also had a deep sense of justice. He was deeply impacted by the inequity and unfairness he saw in the world and never hesitated to use his voice to speak up for others. We were so proud of him; he was an activist at heart.

But Max’s light was often overshadowed by darkness. At eighteen, he was diagnosed with major depressive disorder and hospitalized multiple times for suicidal ideation. At nineteen, epilepsy robbed him of his independence and his driver’s license.

Both diagnoses shattered his confidence and sense of self, and he struggled mightily to navigate life with these challenges.

The Aftermath of Loss Losing Max is the most devastating thing I’ve ever experienced.

Even though we knew suicide was a possibility, we were blindsided. Afterward, I lost not only my son but also my hope— and, frankly, my will to live.

Grief brings an intense yearning to be with the person who is gone. Although I still had my husband, Bill, and our younger son, Sam, my overwhelming desire was to be with Max. I didn’t want to die necessarily, but I couldn’t see a way forward without him.

I tried everything to process my grief: journaling, planting a memorial garden, walking miles upon miles, spending time with friends and family, attending therapy, leaning into my faith community, and even starting medication.

Yet something was still missing.

By the first anniversary of Max’s death, I felt so broken and overwhelmed that I believed something was fundamentally wrong with me. I thought, Why don’t I feel ANY better? But what I didn’t realize at the time was that grief doesn’t operate on a timeline and what I was feeling were the normal and natural reactions to losing someone so loved.

The Grief Community Since losing Max, I’ve connected with countless others who’ve faced profound loss. Their courage and vulnerability inspire me daily. Many have channeled their grief into meaningful work— writing books, leading support groups, becoming counselors and coaches, creating memorial gifts, hosting podcasts, and more.

Grief expert David Kessler describes the sixth stage of grief as finding meaning—rediscovering purpose after a loss. For some, this comes in quiet moments, like watching a sunset. For others, it involves transforming their pain into purpose. For me, it has been the latter.

My purpose now is to normalize conversations about mental illness, suicide, loss, and grief. My purpose is to show parents that surviving the unthinkable loss of a child is possible. My purpose is to educate others about grief so they can better support those who mourn. My purpose is to help grieving people feel less alone and broken. My purpose is to honor my Max and glorify the God who has guided me through this journey.

We Heal Together We live in a society that values independence and self-reliance, but grief has taught me how much we need one another. We heal best when surrounded by people who understand our loss.

Grieving often feels isolating, but when someone truly relates to your pain, you feel validated and seen. That’s what I’ve tried to do for other grieving parents; however, I’ve learned I can’t do it alone. It truly takes a village to support those who mourn, and so I’ve found other helpers to come alongside these bereaved parents with me.

I’ve connected with grief authors whose books I can recommend.

I’ve leaned on grief educators and coaches for guidance and advice on how best to support others.

I’ve partnered with podcasts and support groups that focus on specific types of loss and grief.

I’ve discovered small businesses offering thoughtful cards and gifts that bring comfort to the bereaved.

In helping and partnering with others, I have found healing for myself.

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A Final Word If you’re grieving, please know this: you are not alone. You are not doing anything wrong. Grief isn’t something you can—or should—face in isolation.

Healing happens in community. I pray you find the support you need, and in time, the strength to find meaning again. It may feel impossible now but trust me—it is within reach.

Erin Blechman is an author, speaker, and Certified Grief Educator dedicated to fostering open conversations about grief, loss, mental illness, and suicide.

Her book, My Unexpected Journey: Reflections After Losing My Son to Suicide, shares her personal reflections on navigating life after the tragic loss of her son, Max, to suicide following his battle with mental illness.

She provides grief support to bereaved parents through online groups and community discussions aimed at promoting understanding and awareness of mental illness, suicide, and the complexities of grief.

“In helping and partnering with others, I have found healing for myself.”

Erin divides her time between Pennsylvania and Florida with her husband, Bill.

hman.com blec n i er

echman n.bl i r @e

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where hope grows

BY: CASEY KANG

Facing something life-altering, such as cancer, brings a unique kind of loneliness. For me, it was sitting in a waiting room, surrounded by people much older than me, wondering if anyone there could truly understand what I was going through. It felt like I was living in a world that didn’t look anything like the one I had planned. I was alone - at least, that’s how it felt - until I realized something important: healing isn’t meant to be done alone. It’s something we need to do together.

When I was diagnosed with acute lymphoblastic leukemia at 31, my entire world fell apart. Being a young adult with a rare cancer that mostly affects children was isolating in ways I hadn’t expected. The waiting rooms were filled with faces decades older than mine. It was a constant reminder that I didn’t belong. Beyond the medical battles, there was the grief - the heartbreaking realization of the loss of the life I’d always imagined for myself.

I had to let go of dreams I’d held close for years: the children I thought I would have, the promise of growing old in good health, even the guarantee of being alive for another 10 years. With my type of leukemia, my odds of relapse are 50/50, and having already relapsed twice, that reality felt brutally real. The future I had spent years building in my mind was gone and was replaced by uncertainty.

Grieving those losses was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. But as painful as it was, letting go wasn’t just an ending - it became my new beginning. It opened a space for dreams I never thought I could have.

The rebuilding process wasn’t something I could handle alone. And here’s the truth: none of us can. Healing is something I truly believe we need to do together.

For a long time, I was not a fan of traditional support groups. They felt polarizing and, honestly, too focused on the negative when I desperately craved positivity to keep going forward. Therapy helped, but I still felt stuck and disconnected, it was like I was trapped in between two worlds - too young for one group, too old for another. It felt like I was living alone on an island with only my thoughts and fears to keep me company.

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Eventually, when that isolation became too much, I realized I needed to do something about it.

When I couldn’t find the kind of community I needed, I created one. It started as a small group of women who had been personally touched by cancer and focused on positivity and support, but soon, it grew into something much bigger than I ever expected.

Today, our community isn’t just a group - it’s a lifeline. We don’t just talk about healing and resilience; we live it every single day. We share our fears, our wins, our dreams, and yes, even our doubts. And we remind each other that the “crazy” thoughts we all have sometimes aren’t crazy at all. They’re just part of being human. Together, we share our stories, and it allows us to continue healing.

But healing is about more than just telling stories. It’s about what comes after. One person’s courage can spark another’s. A kind word can plant the seed of hope. And sometimes, sitting quietly together can say more than words ever could. This group has taught me that healing isn’t something that happens alone - it happens when we lean on one another.

There’s one moment I’ll never forget. A woman in our group opened up about her fear of relapse - a fear I know all too well. The rest of us rallied around her, offering not just encouragement but practical advice as well as unshakable support. At that moment, I saw the true power of community. Together, we are stronger, not just because we care for each other but because we actively lift each other up.

Now, at 42, I see myself as someone reshaped by life’s challenges. The scars I carry aren’t things to hide - they show how far I’ve come and how much strength I’ve gained along the way. And through the support of my community, I’ve found the courage to dream again, creating a future for myself that’s full of possibilities.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned through my journey, it’s that healing happens in the presence of others. We need empathetic people who truly see, hear, and walk alongside us. That’s what my community has been for me, and it’s what I strive to be for them in return.

The best part? None of us have to do this alone. Together, we’ve built a place where hope grows, resilience strengthens, and even small wins feel like miracles. Healing happens when we connect, support one another, and lean on those around us.

Casey is the author of Finding Your Way Back to Heart Center: Cancer Treatment Ended, Now What? and holds multiple certifications in yoga, traumainformed practices, and somatic therapy. As a lifelong learner, she is dedicated to empowering others on their healing journeys

Co-Author

Having a community isn’t just about sharing your story - it’s about rewriting it together. It’s where we heal, dream, and thrive side by side. Together, we’re stronger than we could ever be on our own.

Casey Kang is a three-time survivor of acute lymphoblastic leukemia and a stroke survivor.

She is a trauma-informed coach who supports survivors through somatic movement and breathwork.

Instagram @thehappierhustle GET GRIEFY - ISSUE 5 - 2025

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FROM VICTIM ISLAND TO SOLUTION CITY

A ROADMAP TO RESILIENCE AND HEALING BY: MELISSA DEALLY GET GRIEFY - ISSUE 5 - 2025

HEALING & RESILIENCE

MASTERING YOUR THOUGHTS

Life happens, and then what? Can you pick yourself up, leave Victim Island, and head over to Solution City, where the restaurants are better, the views are brighter, and opportunities abound? Or are you choosing to stay on Victim Island, sharing your "sob story" with anyone who will listen? This may sound harsh, however perhaps it’s the kindest wake-up call you’ll read this week. Knowledge is power, and when you truly embrace the idea that everything happens for you, not to you, life shifts. Even in grief or hardship, there’s something to be grateful for.

That gratitude moves you to Solution City. One day, hindsight will reveal the wisdom in your journey, and you might even find yourself saying, “I’m glad I went through that because it shaped who I am today.”

Sydney Banks, an influential author, says we’re all just one thought away from perfect mental health. Negative thoughts will come and go, but the key is not to dwell on them. What if you let them float by instead of ruminating?

Better yet, what if you replaced them with positive thoughts? You get to choose which thoughts hold your focus.

I’ve experienced this firsthand. When my father passed away suddenly when I was 13, I instinctively knew there was a lesson for me. By 15, I was telling people that I wouldn’t be the person I was without that trauma. It was a tough journey, but it shaped my resilience and perspective.

THE POWER OF COMMUNITY Society often glorifies independence, however what we truly need is interdependence. This means leaning on each other—sharing skills, experiences, and support. During tough times, community is a lifeline. Others can help us see limiting beliefs or behavioral patterns that we’re too close to notice. Their perspectives can guide us back to clarity and healing.

Humans are tribal by nature. We thrive in connection. When we lift others up and allow others to lift us, we create a cycle of healing and growth. No one is meant to go through life alone.

Here’s the catch: what you focus on expands.

Spend time thinking about what you don’t want, and you’ll attract more of it. Shift your focus to healing, solutions, and possibilities, and you’ll move toward them. My favorite quote by Henry Ford encapsulates this perfectly: “Whether you think you can, or think you can’t, you’re right.” Talk therapy is great for bringing issues to your awareness, however it doesn’t necessarily set you up for healing. Talking about your problem repeatedly can deepen the neurology of the trauma instead of releasing it.

Thankfully, there are powerful modalities, like Time Line Therapy®, that allow you to release emotions and trauma without reliving the details. This technique helps you gain the learnings from the event—because everything happens to teach you something. Once you extract the lessons, the emotions and trauma can be released from your body. You no longer have to carry it with you; you can move forward with your life and live in Solution City.

SHIFTING PERSPECTIVE Sometimes, the best way to escape negativity is simply to ask, “How can I help others?”

Serving others not only provides fulfillment, it also pulls us out of self-focused struggles.

When you’re stuck in a problem, helping someone else can shift your mindset and open new possibilities.

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I often ask myself, “Is this a first-world problem?” For example, I might be frustrated about a delayed shipment, and when I remember that many people don’t have access to clean water or daily meals, my problem suddenly feels insignificant.

Gratitude replaces frustration, and I’m motivated to focus on helping others instead.

FINDING FULFILLMENT IN SERVICE In her book “Living a Committed Life”, Lynne Twist shares how people with very little, often show immense generosity and gratitude. She observed that these individuals, despite their material challenges, were happier than many of her wealthy friends. Her solution?

Connecting her affluent friends with those who needed resources, creating a cycle of giving and fulfillment.

Similarly, the book “Half the Sky” shares stories of resilience among girls in developing countries. Despite facing unimaginable hardships, these girls—with even a sliver of education or support—rose up to change their circumstances. Their strength is a testament to the power of community and the human spirit.

WHAT CAN YOU DO NOW? Seek out community: It takes courage to ask for help, and the rewards are transformative. Find spaces where you feel supported and valued.

Share your skills: Explore opportunities to give back in ways that align with your interests.

Whether it’s helping with a reading program at a local school, volunteering at a food bank, or supporting Girl Guides or Boy Scouts, Big Brothers or Big Sisters, you’ll connect with like-minded people while making a meaningful impact.

Start a gratitude journal: Write down three things you’re grateful for each day. At first, it might feel challenging, however with consistency, it gets easier. This practice rewires your Reticular Activating System—the brain’s sentinel—training it to notice positivity throughout your day, which naturally uplifts your mindset.

Shift your self-talk: Pay attention to your thoughts and treat yourself as someone you love.

When a negative thought arises, visualize a stop sign and replace the negative thought with a positive affirmation. Over time, you’ll find yourself needing that stop sign less and less as you become your own biggest cheerleader!

Small, consistent actions like these can guide you toward resilience and healing, helping you embrace a brighter, more connected life.

MOVING TOWARD HEALING MELISSA DEALLY IS AN INTEGRATIVE MIND-BODY HEALTH PRACTITIONER AND CO-FOUNDER OF AMPLIFY IMPACT ACADEMY. MELISSA IS ALSO AN INTERNATIONAL SPEAKER, FIVE-TIME BEST-SELLING AUTHOR, AND HOST OF THE AWARD-WINNING "DON’T WAIT FOR YOUR WAKE-UP CALL!" PODCAST, RANKED IN THE TOP 2% GLOBALLY. WHEN NOT SERVING CLIENTS, SHE’S DEDICATED TO HER NON-PROFIT GIRLS MATTER, HELPING KEEP GIRLS IN SCHOOL IN UGANDA AND KENYA, BREAKING THE POVERTY CYCLE ONE GIRL, ONE FAMILY, ONE VILLAGE AT A TIME.

SITES:YOURGUIDEDHEALTHJOURNEY.COM GIRLSMATTER.CA AMPLIFYIMPACTACADEMY.COM IG: @GUIDEDHEALTHJOURNEY LINKEDIN:MELISSADEALLY

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Co-Author

Healing, resilience, and peace are within reach for all of us. We must rise together—lifting each other up through connection and service. When we embrace community, we heal not just ourselves, we heal the world around us.

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To learn more visit www.shoeboxalbums.com

In an increasingly individualistic world, the profound importance of community and collaboration cannot be overstated, especially when it comes to healing.

Both spiritual traditions and modern psychotherapy underscore that human connection is not merely a luxury but a necessity for our well-being. As social beings, our growth, healing, and ultimate fulfillment are intricately tied to the bonds we form with others. This article explores how community and collaboration foster healing, drawing from spiritual and psychological perspectives to illuminate the transformative power of collective healing.

Spiritual traditions across the globe emphasize the interconnectedness of all beings. Concepts such as “Ubuntu” in African philosophy, which means “I am because we are,” highlight the essence of communal life.

Similarly, Buddhism teaches the interdependent nature of existence, and many Indigenous cultures emphasize the importance of community for maintaining balance and harmony within the individual and the collective.

From a spiritual standpoint, healing is not a solitary journey. It involves the collective energy and support of a community. When we engage in communal practices like prayer, meditation, and rituals, we tap into a larger energy field that can amplify our healing process.

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The shared experience of these practices reinforces a sense of belonging and provides a support system that can be crucial during challenging times. This collective energy acts as a buffer against the isolation and despair that often accompany personal struggles.

Modern psychotherapy echoes these ancient spiritual truths.

Research consistently shows that social support is a critical factor in mental health. The presence of supportive relationships can mitigate the effects of stress, reduce symptoms of depression and anxiety, and improve overall psychological well-being.

Therapeutic approaches like group therapy are grounded in the belief that healing occurs in the context of relationships.

In group therapy, individuals share their experiences and listen to others, fostering a sense of understanding and empathy. This mutual support can be incredibly validating and empowering, as individuals realize they are not alone in their struggles. The group setting provides a safe space for individuals to express their emotions, gain insights from others, and develop new coping strategies.

Furthermore, collaborative approaches in therapy, such as family therapy and community-based interventions, highlight the importance of addressing relational dynamics. Healing within a family or community context can lead to more sustainable and meaningful changes, as it involves transforming the patterns and interactions that contribute to distress.

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The synergy between spirituality and psychotherapy offers practical insights into how we can foster healing through community and collaboration.

Building Supportive Networks: Actively cultivating a network of supportive relationships is essential. This can involve joining support groups, participating in community activities, or simply reaching out to friends and family.

Building these connections creates a safety net that can provide emotional support and practical assistance during difficult times.

Engaging in Collective Practices: Participating in communal spiritual practices or group therapy can be incredibly beneficial. These settings provide opportunities to share experiences, receive feedback, and feel a sense of belonging.

The collective energy in these practices can enhance personal healing and growth.

Collaborative Problem-Solving: Embracing a collaborative approach to problem-solving can lead to more effective and creative solutions.

Whether in a therapeutic setting or daily life, working together with others allows for the pooling of resources, ideas, and strengths, leading to better outcomes.

Fostering Empathy and Compassion: Engaging with others’ experiences fosters empathy and compassion, which are crucial for healing.

When we listen to and support others, we not only help them heal but also cultivate these qualities within ourselves, creating a positive feedback loop that benefits the entire community.

Creating Inclusive Communities: Striving to create inclusive communities where everyone feels valued and accepted is vital for collective healing. This involves actively challenging stigma, discrimination, and social barriers that prevent individuals from seeking and receiving support.

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Co-Author

The journey of healing is deeply personal, yet it is also inherently communal.

By embracing the importance of community and collaboration, we tap into a wellspring of support, wisdom, and strength that can profoundly enhance our healing process.

Spiritual traditions and modern psychotherapy both remind us that we are not alone; our connections with others are a vital source of healing and growth.

In a world that often prioritizes individual achievement and selfreliance, recognizing the importance of collective healing is a powerful counter-narrative. By fostering strong, supportive communities and engaging in collaborative practices, we create a foundation for healing that is resilient, compassionate, and deeply interconnected. Ultimately, we heal together, drawing from the collective strength and wisdom of our shared human experience.

KAREN WHELAN IS A HIGHLY RESPECTED SPIRITUAL ADVISOR, INTERNATIONAL BESTSELLING AUTHOR, TRANSFORMATIVE THERAPIST, AND RETREAT LEADER WITH OVER 18 YEARS OF EXPERIENCE GUIDING INDIVIDUALS TOWARD PROFOUND PERSONAL GROWTH AND EMPOWERMENT. WITH A MASTERS IN SPIRITUALITY AND LICENSED PSYCHOTHERAPIST KAREN UTILIZES A UNIQUE ‘WHOLE PERSON’ HOLISTIC THERAPEUTIC APPROACH IN GUIDING CLIENTS GLOBALLY TO EMBODY THEIR AUTHENTIC POWER. SITE: SOULUTIONTHERAPY.COM INSTAGRAM: @THE.SOULUTION.THERAPIST

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WE HE A L T OGE T HE R : When I hit rock bottom, I did what so many of us do—I pulled away from everyone around me. I thought if I could just isolate myself, I could avoid feeling judged, pitied, or worse, like a burden. After all, I had always been “the strong one.” How could I possibly let people see me at my weakest? But that decision, to retreat and carry my pain alone, only deepened the spiral of depression I was already in.

Isolation feels safe at first. It’s quieter. It hides the mess. But it also suffocates the very thing we need most in those moments: connection. Looking back, I realize that being alone wasn’t protecting me; it was amplifying my pain. Healing came, not when I had all the answers or “fixed” myself, but when I finally let people in.

It started with one knock at the door. A friend, or rather an acquaintance at the time, dragged me out for lunch. He didn’t have a grand plan to save me, and honestly, I wasn’t even looking to be saved. But he saw me, acknowledged my pain, and told me something I’ll never forget: “The world needs you.” Those words stuck. They didn’t solve everything overnight, but they cracked the door open to something I hadn’t realized I needed— community.

By: Amy Singleton

T H E P OWE R OF C OMMUNI T Y I N R E C OV E R Y GET GRIEFY - ISSUE 5 - 2025

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We live in a culture that glorifies independence. We celebrate strength as the ability to handle everything on our own. But the truth is, none of us are designed to go through life alone—especially not the hard parts. We thrive in community. We heal in connection. When we let others into our mess, we open the door for empathy, understanding, and collaboration.

In my journey, I learned that people want to help. They want to listen, support, and walk alongside us. But often, they don’t know how to step in unless we let them. That’s the first step—letting someone in, even if it’s just one person. Vulnerability can be terrifying, but it’s also what allows us to truly connect.

HE A L I NG

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Recovery—whether from addiction, grief, or trauma—is not a solo journey. It’s a collective one. It’s the friend who shows up when you’re not expecting it, the family member who forgives you when you’ve lost your way, or the stranger who shares their story and makes you feel less alone. It’s the professional who guides you with wisdom and care, and it’s the community that reminds you, day by day, that you’re not doing this alone.

For me, healing also came through collaboration. When I finally opened up, I started reconnecting with people— friends, family, therapists, and spiritual mentors. Every conversation, every shared story, every moment of support built a foundation that helped me move forward. Healing doesn’t happen in isolation; it happens when we come together.

T HE S T R E NGT H Y OUR S T OR Y

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I used to think strength meant carrying it all on my own.

Now I know true strength is found in community. We heal together. We grow together. And when we allow others to walk alongside us, we discover a resilience we didn’t know we had.

Whatever you’re facing, know this: you’re not alone. There’s a community out there waiting to support you, cheer for you, and remind you that healing is possible. Let them in.

AMY SINGLETON IS THE CEO OF HITE DIGITAL NORMAN, A DIGITAL MARKETING AGENCY DEDICATED TO HELPING BUSINESSES GROW THROUGH INNOVATIVE STRATEGIES. AS A CO-AUTHOR OF RESILIENT AF: STORIES OF RESILIENCE VOL. 2, AMY SHARES HER PERSONAL JOURNEY TO INSPIRE OTHERS. AS A RECOVERY ADVOCATE, PODCAST HOST & SPEAKER, SHE’S PASSIONATE ABOUT BUILDING CONNECTIONS AND EMPOWERING INDIVIDUALS TO OVERCOME LIFE’S CHALLENGES AND THRIVE IN COMMUNITY.

Co-Author

WHY

S HA R I NG

One of the most powerful parts of being in a community is realizing that your story can help others. I used to think my struggles were a source of shame, something to hide. But now I see them as a bridge. By sharing my journey—the messy, imperfect, human parts of it—I’ve been able to connect with others who are navigating their own storms.

And in that connection, there’s healing for all of us.

Stories have a way of breaking down walls. They remind us that we’re not alone, that someone else has been where we are, and that it’s possible to make it to the other side. When we share openly, we invite others to do the same, creating a ripple effect of connection and healing. Today, unlike before, it’s a privilege and my purpose to raise my hand and say “me too!” That’s how people find hope.

B UI L DI NG Y OUR C OMMUNI T Y

OWN

If you’re in the middle of a hard season, I want to encourage you: don’t do it alone. Reach out to someone—a friend, a family member, a counselor, or even a support group. Let someone in, even if it’s just a little at first. Small steps, like that one knock on my door, can change everything.

Healing in community doesn’t mean you have to share your story with the world all at once. It starts small, with one conversation, one connection, one act of vulnerability. Over time, those small steps add up, creating a network of support that can help carry you through the toughest moments.

IG : @

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T H ER EA LA S IT E M YS : AM IN G L Y S IN ET O G LET N O N .N ET

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PODCASTS to Inform, Connect & Comfort

Always Seeking Guests for Meaningful Conversations melissa@theleftoverpieces.com

by Melissa Bottorff-Arey

Meaningful Conversations for Life After Suicide Loss

2nd st a Podc

N EW

nch al Lau25 i c i f f O 20 Jan. 1,

Navigating the Grief of Saying Goodbye to a Career You Love

I

took a shower with my clothes on. I had built my businesses with love, care, and purpose.

I created the first holistic healing center in my city, taught massage, aromatherapy, and Ayurveda, and had an incredible staff dedicated to healing others. I truly loved my work and thought I would do it forever.

Then life threw curveballs. A second business I started with my daughter took off rapidly, but the massage company began struggling amid economic changes, and personal challenges emerged, including a painful divorce. As a single mom, sole provider, and emotionally drained, I realized I couldn’t do it all.

After seeking advice from trusted mentors, I made the hard decision to close my studio after 27 years.

The process was grueling but necessary. On the last night, as I packed up years of memories, the weight of my decision hit me like a tidal wave. I went home, still in shock, and stood under the shower fully clothed, unable to feel anything but numbness. For the next four days, I lay on the couch and cried, processing the loss of not just my business but a part of myself.

Looking back, I realize grief isn’t just about losing loved ones—it’s also about letting go of something you’ve poured your heart into. I’ve learned it’s okay to feel this way and that healing takes time.

Acknowledge your feelings

1 GET GRIEFY - ISSUE 5 - 2025

It’s normal to grieve the loss of something you loved, even if it was a choice you made. Give yourself permission to feel sadness, anger, or confusion without judgment.

Seek Support

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Reach out to trusted friends, family, or mentors who can listen without trying to “fix” things.

Consider professional counseling or support groups for additional help.

Reflect, but Don’t Dwell

3

Take time to reflect on what the business or career meant to you and what you’ve gained from the experience.

Write it down if it helps— but avoid spiraling into self-blame or regret.

Find a New Anchor

4

Shifting from one purpose to another can feel destabilizing. Focus on the positive aspects of your next chapter.

Maybe it’s more time with family, a new project, or simply space to breathe.

Take Care of Yourself

5

Your mental and physical health matter.

Incorporate self-care routines like journaling, exercise, or creative outlets to stay grounded.

Find a New Anchor

6

Once you feel ready, start small.

Set achievable goals to rebuild your confidence and create momentum.

Be Patient with the Process

7

Grieving takes time.

Trust that, with each step, you’re moving closer to healing and creating a new chapter of your life.

Co-Author

Grief isn’t limited to losing people—it can also stem from losing pieces of yourself, like a career or business you poured your heart into. Standing in that shower, fully clothed and overwhelmed, I had no idea that the journey of letting go would teach me so much about resilience and renewal. It’s okay to feel the weight of the loss, to cry on the couch for days if you need to, but know that grief is also a passage to growth. Just like stepping out of that shower, cold and unsure, I found warmth and clarity with time, support, and purpose.

Trust that your own journey, though painful, will lead you to a new chapter filled with meaning and possibility.

Deborah Drummond has been an Entrepreneurial Maven for 30+ years.

She’s the Founder of Mission Accepted Media and Visionary behind the 262 Movement. Through these projects, 1000+ women & men have spoken on her stages and authored in her publications.

Media impressions are in the millions, and just getting started.

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GRIEF SQUAD

Loss changes everything, But you don’t have to face it alone.

@GRIEFSQUADOFFICIAL GRIEFSQUAD.CA

Resilience has shaped my journey through life, career, and grief.

From an early fascination with healthcare—sparked by a thirdgrade microscope—to working in pathology for over 20 years, I was drawn to helping others heal. But my role processing biopsies and surgical specimens left me feeling disconnected from patients, a void I didn’t fully understand until my sister, Joannie, was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2015.

By: Susan Koursaris

Joannie’s decision to pursue alternative therapies alongside traditional treatment sparked a whirlwind of research. Despite her efforts, she passed away in 2018, and my world crumbled. Juggling grief, family challenges, and motherhood, I became a shell of myself. My body, overwhelmed by the strain, developed Hashimoto’s thyroiditis, an autoimmune condition.

In the midst of this struggle, I discovered nutritional therapy. It reignited my passion for healing and gave me tools to support my body and mind. Studying gut health, holistic nutrition, and functional medicine led to transformative changes—not just in my own health but also in how I could help others. I learned the incredible resilience of our cells and how simple shifts in diet, sleep, and hydration can renew vitality.

Proof: Do no circulate

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Now, I’m dedicated to sharing these insights through Wholly Heart Nutrition, honoring Joannie’s memory and helping others rediscover their strength and joy.

Continuously thinking about how this could have helped my sister, motivates me to help others, so these are my high-level tips for living with loss, and healing your body through practical measures.

Start with Self-Observation Understanding your body’s signals is the first step toward resilience. After my sister's passing and my own struggles with autoimmune issues, I realized how crucial it is to listen to my body. This self-awareness forms the foundation for meaningful changes.

Quick Tip: Keep a daily journal of your symptoms, energy levels, sleep quality, and emotions. Look for patterns that can guide adjustments to your habits or diet.

Prioritize Nourishing, Whole Foods Grief can suppress appetite or lead to unhealthy eating habits. Focus on nutrientdense foods like leafy greens, whole fruits, quality grass-fed protein, and healthy fats to support your body’s healing process. These foods provide essential vitamins and minerals that help stabilize mood and energy levels.

Proof: Do no circulate

Quick Tip: Keep easy-to-prepare options on hand, like pre-washed veggies, rotisserie chicken, or nutrient-packed smoothies, to simplify meals during tough times.

Stay Hydrated and Include Electrolytes Dehydration can exacerbate fatigue and brain fog, common symptoms of grief. Aim for at least 8–10 cups of water daily, and consider adding natural electrolyte sources like coconut water or a pinch of sea salt in your water to replenish lost minerals.

Quick Tip: Carry a water bottle as a gentle reminder to drink regularly, and flavor your water with lemon, cucumber, or mint to make it more appealing.

Susan Koursaris is a certified Nutritional Therapy Practitioner, as well as a Restorative Wellness Practitioner, and Board Certified in Holistic Nutrition®. She specializes in helping people preserve their health, especially after a significant, grief-causing event. She also specializes in gut healing testing and protocols for improved digestive function.

You can find her on Instagram @whollyheartnutrition and her website at whollyheartnutrition.com

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m o r f g n i r e f A new of ! e n i z a g a M y Get Grief Welcome to Get Griefy’s Small Business Collective – your gateway to a thriving community of small business owners and creatives dedicated to making a meaningful impact in the grief space.

Our collective offers a unique platform for connection, collaboration, and growth, tailored specifically for those who understand the power of compassion in business.

Why Join the Get Griefy Business Collective?

Exclusive Networking Opportunities: Group Chat and Discussion Board with Mighty Network Quarterly Check-ins Unmatched Advertising and Discounts: 20% discount on Get Griefy Ad Space Reposts on Get Griefy Magazine's Instagram Ability to share news and events on Get Griefy's Newsletter sent out to email subscribers and on social media Ability to collaborate with Get Griefy on niche content Valuable Resources and Insights: Genius Hours Your business is listed as a resource on GetGriefyMagazine.com and on Magazine resource pages Insider access to Get Griefy Magazine Priority access to contribution space in Get Griefy Magazine Input on future features and articles Discounts on Features and press Packages

Visit www.getgriefymagazine.com/get-griefy-small-business-collective to learn more GET GRIEFY - ISSUE 5 - 2025

Lessons From a Glass Child

BY LOU BOWERS

My career is dedicated to helping people show up as the face of their business and gain as much visibility as possible. I am a marketing and visibility expert.

Which is a wild occupation for me to choose since I grew up as a glass child.

A glass child is the sibling of a child with high medical needs. We're not called glass children because we break easily. Because of our growing-up situation, we're usually pretty tough. The term glass child comes from being invisible. We come with an extra dose of perfectionism with the special skill of being “problem-free.”

My younger sister Julie had Cystic Fibrosis. In the 80s and 90s, there was a campaign that said 12 years old was middle age for kids with CF. That’s a heavy burden to carry for a sick kid and her family. It turned out to be pretty accurate in our case because Julie went into a coma shortly after her 20th birthday and died less than 2 months later.

I was very dedicated to my non-burdensome role in the family and found myself playing the part of hostess at Julie’s funeral. Comforting relatives and friends and keeping a smile on my face while my insides were melting with soulcrushing grief.

Four months after losing Julie I found myself pregnant with my first baby, freshly transplanted in a new town far from family and with the mindset that if I let my grief show, I would never make new friends. Nobody wants to hang out with the woman who is constantly falling apart.

As I’m sure you can imagine, stuffing my grief and maintaining the facade that I had it all together did not yield the stellar results I anticipated. On the outside, I was a bubbly, excited new wife and pregnant mom. The world saw what I wanted it to see.

Inside I was emotionally numb.

It’s been 20 years since Julie left Earth and I’ve learned a thing or two about sharing my grief and honoring her memory. If you’re concealing your grief, my lessons may be helpful.

When you try to suppress your grief, it still finds ways to come out.

Perfectionism and anger were the ways grief manifested in my life. I was hyper-focused on creating a magical childhood for my children because you only live once. Making happy memories isn’t a bad thing, but when they didn’t work out exactly how I envisioned, I saw red.

It took years for me to realize this was not a great strategy for having a happy family and taking care of my emotional needs is a much better route for healing and providing love to those most important to me.

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It’s not your job to make other people comfortable with your grief.

Your grief level has no precedence.

Grieving the loss of a loved one is full of big emotions, ickiness, exhaustion, and a whole lot of discomfort. I spent far too much time making sure other people were comfortable in my presence.

This prevented me from receiving the support I needed from others because I looked like I was “over it.”

It’s ok for things to be awkward. If tears and long breaks in conversation send some people running for the hills, that’s their thing to work on. You’re not responsible for making them feel better.

Sidenote: Get it out of your head that you’re annoying people with your grief. The people who love you want to help. You’re not irritating them!

You get to make meaning out of your loss or not.

When I see 12:17 on the clock, I smile and say hi in my head. December 17 is Julie’s birthday and whether it’s true or not I like to believe she’s popped by for a little visit. It’s an uplifting ritual I’ve taken on only in the last few years. Possibly because I wasn’t ready for it before.

Grief is dynamic, not static. You get to decide what is meaningful and comforting for you and decide to add or let things go as your journey unfolds.

Hiding your grief is hiding a big part of you.

Julie was an incredibly important person in my life.

We fought like mad hornets at times, but we knew we had each other through thick and thin. Even though it’s been 20 years since she passed, I still tell new people who come into my life stories about us.

Last year when Julie’s birthday rolled around I had really big sad feelings. I texted my clients to let them know I was not fit for work and riding the struggle bus that day. Then I sat on my partner’s couch crying under a blanket.

It was all-encompassing, deep, and unstoppable. My grief was messy.

There have also been years when I acknowledge the day and move through it as usual. Completing tasks, eating meals, and interacting with others as usual.

Your level of grief does not depend on past experiences and it is totally normal for it to fluctuate.

Instead of asking yourself why it feels heavy (because chances are you’ll never find a satisfactory answer) ask what you need in this moment or what would feel the most helpful right now. No Judgement! If it’s a bag of Oreos and binge-watching Gilmore Girls so be it!

2025 is the 20th anniversary of Julie dying. I can tell you for sure that I still want to tell her secrets like when we were little. It hurts that she didn’t ever meet my kids. (She totally would have been the auntie who spoiled them rotten). And even though I’ve gone on to live a rich and full life, she’s never far from my thoughts. There’s no “getting over it” but there is living with grief with more harmony and acceptance and that has made all the difference.

Lou Bowers is a marketing and visibility expert in British Columbia Canada. Her story of being a glass child and how she has grown personally because of her growing up years can be found in the newly published book Resilient AF Volume 2.

Lou is on a mission to help people step into the spotlight and confidently take up the main character role for themselves instead of identifying as a supporting character for others. She can be found at loubowers.com or on Instagram @loubowersvisibilityexpert

I tried building walls around this part of me and I felt incredibly alone. When you hide your grief it’s really difficult to feel authentically loved in those tender places. Tender places uncared for can become festering wounds.

Co-Author

She was there all through my growing up years and is a huge part of who I am, just as your person is part of who you are.

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There’s a unique language to grief— things only the person who has lived it can truly understand.

For 25 years, I’ve heard stories from around the world—from people who know exactly what it’s like to feel exhausted but unable to sleep, to experience loneliness in a room full of people, or to struggle with seemingly “small” tasks that suddenly feel overwhelming. They’ve learned that grief isn’t just sadness; it’s guilt, regret, anger, anxiety, and love all tangled together.

You don’t have to explain it. You don’t have to be “better” or “back to normal.” At Grief in Common, we bring together people who’ve been through the unimaginable, and who understand.

Whether through virtual support groups, individual sessions, or a classroom of wisdom, we create a space for connection, comfort, and validation. Because only another griever can truly say, “I get it.”

Grief is complex. So is healing.

Let’s navigate it together.

www.griefincommon.com

FOUNDER, KARYN ARNOLD

VIRTUAL SUPPORT GROUPS

COACHING AND SUPPORT

EDUCATION

@griefincommon

EMBRACING MY MULTIPLE VERSIONS AFTER LOSS

By: Moira Khan, Griefspan

I’ve been asked multiple times about resilience and my growth in my grief journey. Are we automatically resilient or is it something we acquire when we go through trauma or tough times?

The short answer is, whilst we might be born with certain traits, and the ability to cope with life altering challenges, it really is something that develops over time, with experience and how we are nurtured and supported throughout our lives.

I doubt I would have known a thing about resilience at the age of 11, but this was my first real exposure to facing adversity and a life altering situation. And now I’m in my 40s, resilience and the path to healing has become an innate part of my make-up and daily existence. I would go as far as to say, it now shapes who I am.

As a result of major physical set backs and the loss of my entire immediate family, I have changed not only as a person, but the way in which I perceive and value life. All the great things that have happened to me in my life time, go hand in hand with the traumas. I wouldn’t be sitting here writing this article, if I hadn’t lost my parents and brother within a five year period.

Part of my healing journey has been to lean in fully to my grief and trauma. To be curious about how other people in grief, actually make it through their lives without their loved ones, to explore multiple therapies, write endless journal entries, workout till I can’t breathe, or just scream into my pillow.

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There really is no prescriptive remedy.

Why? Because like every human being on this planet, our grief too is unique. The way we grieve is unique.

Our relationships and losses are unique. All of which, shapes the way we grieve.

Since 2014 when my mother died, I’ve reinvented myself time and time again. I’ve had to learn how to navigate not only living with the death of my mum, whilst becoming a mum myself, but also how to manage more loss on top of my first life changing grief. Losing my brother and my dad, and becoming an orphan.

My family and my whole existence, the bonds, the relationships, the guidance, it was all gone for me by my early 40s, and solely left with memories.

The me now, is a very different person from that back in 2014.

Through the heartbreak, the depression and anxiety that comes with grief. I can now honestly say I am the best version of myself. The version I’ve learnt to embrace, comes from a long journey of doing the work, therapy, reading, reflective moments, learning from others in grief, support from loved ones and sitting with my grief.

The monumental shift, and recalibration (my dad's favourite word) of my life is where I find my purpose, and drive to help others in their grief and loss.

I built a community that provides education, hope, healing and mindfulness after loss. And through this community, more communities have formed of friendships and bonds where we lift each other up, support our purpose and grow together on our grief journey.

It is absolutely possible to have all of this when you’ve suffered loss and trauma. You just need to keep moving forward, have faith that what’s waiting for you is hope and an ability to hold your own hand and eventually you can get to a point where you are holding others’ hands through their grief at the same time.

One piece of valuable advice I can give, and I wish I knew then what I know now about grief, don’t let others pressure you into where they want you to be.

You will get there in your own time. Grief cannot be rushed nor is it linear.

There is hope in the mindfulness of grief. Being open to sharing your story, the memories and legacy of your loved ones will never do harm or be a negative thing. Embrace the multiple versions of you that will lead you to embracing life as it is now, and what this one precious life we have is worth feeling the fear and doing it anyway.

Moira Khan is an International Grief Educator and Coach based in Madrid Spain. Originally from New Zealand, and having spent 12 years in the UK, Moira knows only too well the path of grief after losing her parents and brother within a five year period.

Now, Moira has a large support community on Instagram, and a successful coaching business specific around helping others through their grief. Moira offer's 1:1's as well as groups, and numerous education materials via Instagram and her webpage.

Instagram: @griefspaneducation Site: griefspan.com

Co-Author

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VOIC D E

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- SHAR NG

BY: LIZ QUINN OF HEALING HEARTS PODCAST

Grief is a universal experience, yet it often leaves us feeling isolated and unheard. Navigating loss can be overwhelming, as though no one else can truly understand the weight we carry. But there is a quiet, transformative power in storytelling—a power that connects us, heals us, and reminds us that we are not alone.

Sharing stories of grief goes beyond recounting events. It gives voice to emotions, honors memories, and creates spaces where vulnerability feels safe. Whether through podcasts, books, or conversations, storytelling helps us grieve openly, hope authentically, and heal collectively.

Seeing Yourself in Someone Else’s Story Think of the first time you heard someone share a story that mirrored your own. Their story may have resonated so deeply that it gave words to emotions you hadn’t been able to express. Hearing someone articulate your pain can be transformative. It helps you feel seen, understood, and validated. Suddenly, grief doesn’t seem so isolating; it becomes part of a shared human experience.

Grief can feel like being stuck in a storm—chaotic and disorienting. When someone shares their story of navigating that same storm, they show us that while the path may be difficult, we are not alone. These stories act as lighthouses, offering guidance and reassurance when we feel lost.

For instance, consider the impact of hearing a podcast where a guest openly discusses their struggles with loss.

Their courage to speak openly about their pain may encourage others to confront their own feelings, fostering a sense of solidarity.

Building Bridges Through Storytelling Storytelling doesn’t just help us feel seen; it connects us with others. When someone shares their story of loss, it creates a bridge of empathy and understanding. It says, “I’ve been there too.

Let’s walk through this together.” These connections transcend backgrounds, experiences, and circumstances, reminding us of our shared humanity.

Storytelling reminds us that grief is a journey, not a destination. It’s messy, nonlinear, and deeply personal. By sharing stories, we create spaces where it’s okay to grieve on our own terms. These spaces encourage honest dialogue and mutual support, fostering a culture of compassion.

For example, support groups often thrive on the exchange of personal narratives. Participants find comfort in knowing others have endured similar challenges. This shared understanding forms the foundation of meaningful connections that ease the burden of grief.

Finding Hope in Shared Experiences One of the most powerful aspects of storytelling is its ability to inspire hope. When we hear how others have faced loss, it reassures us that healing is possible—even if it doesn’t look the way we imagined. These shared experiences don’t promise a perfect ending but show us how to endure, adapt, and find light even in the smallest moments.

Hope often emerges in unexpected ways. A friend’s anecdote about rediscovering joy after loss or a memoir recounting resilience in the face of adversity can serve as a beacon for those navigating their grief. These stories remind us that healing is not about forgetting but about integrating our loss into a new narrative of life.

Telling Your Story as a Path to Healing Listening to others’ stories is impactful, but sharing your own can be transformative. For many, the act of telling their story is a way of reclaiming their narrative. It allows them to honor their journey, process their emotions, and give meaning to their experiences. Sharing personal stories can feel like lifting a weight from one’s shoulders, providing a sense of relief and clarity.

Storytelling can also be a gift to others. By opening up, you invite others to feel their own grief more deeply, reminding them they are not alone. This act of vulnerability fosters an environment where healing becomes a shared endeavor.

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Consider the example of writing a blog post about your experiences. The process of organizing thoughts and emotions into words can be cathartic. Readers who come across your post might find comfort and solidarity, creating a ripple effect of healing.

In the end, storytelling is not just about sharing grief but about celebrating resilience, fostering understanding, and building bridges of hope. It is through these shared narratives that we transform pain into connection and find the strength to move forward, hand in hand.

Creating Community Through Stories Storytelling is a two-way connection. It fosters empathy, understanding, and support, building communities where people feel less alone.

These communities are invaluable in the healing process. They remind us that while grief is deeply personal, it is something we can navigate together.

LIZ QUINN IS THE HOST OF HEALING HEARTS PODCAST, WHERE SHE SHARES STORIES OF LOVE, LOSS, AND HOPE TO HELP OTHERS FEEL LESS ALONE IN THEIR GRIEF.

Online forums, podcasts, and social media groups dedicated to sharing stories of loss have become powerful tools for creating these communities. They provide a platform for individuals to share their journeys and connect with others who understand their struggles. In these spaces, mutual support flourishes, and the collective strength of shared experiences becomes evident.

Honoring All Voices Every story matters, and every voice deserves to be heard. Grief looks different for everyone, and storytelling creates space for that diversity.

Whether it’s the loss of a child, the end of a relationship, or the death of a friend, each narrative adds depth to our collective understanding of grief.

AFTER LOSING HER FIRST DAUGHTER, ALIVIA, AND HER PARENTS, LIZ FOUND HEALING IN CONNECTING WITH OTHERS NAVIGATING LIFE AFTER LOSS. NOW, SHE CREATES A SPACE FOR OPEN CONVERSATIONS ABOUT GRIEF, RESILIENCE, AND FINDING LIGHT IN THE DARKEST MOMENTS. LIZ LIVES WITH HER HUSBAND AND THREE CHILDREN, CHERISHING THE MESSY, BEAUTIFUL MOMENTS OF LIFE.

Honoring all voices means listening without judgment and acknowledging that healing is not a one-size-fits-all process. It also means celebrating the resilience and hope that can emerge from even the darkest moments. These diverse perspectives enrich our collective narrative, reminding us that there is no singular way to grieve.

Moving Forward Together Grief has a way of reshaping us, but it doesn’t have to isolate us. Through storytelling, we find connection, comfort, and a sense of belonging.

We learn that while our grief is unique, it is not something we face entirely alone.

So, share your story. Listen to someone else’s.

In doing so, we create a world where no one has to grieve in silence. Together, we remind each other that even in our darkest moments, there is light to be found—and we don’t have to find it alone.

FOLLOW HER ON INSTAGRAM @HEALINGHEARTSPODCAST OR VISIT HER WEBSITE HEALINGHEARTSREFLECTIONS.BLOGSPOT.COM .

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(YOUR HEART’S DESIRE) By: Barri Leiner Grant

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Over a decade ago, I attended an intention setting workshop at a beloved yoga studio. It was right before the New Year. In the session, we would set in motion what the leader called, your Sankalpa.

Sankalpa is a Sanskrit term in yogic philosophy that refers to a heartfelt desire, a solemn vow, an intention, or a resolve to do something. It is similar to the English concept of a resolution, except that it comes from even deeper within and tends to be an affirmation.

It is a short phrase or sentence, clearly and concisely expressed, using the same wording each time, to bring about a positive change in one’s life. Your Sankalpa remains private to you and is not something to be shared with another person.

In Sanskrit, this translates to, your one great desire. Unlike a resolution, your Sankalpa is wrapped up in your Dharma, your purpose and highest good, and it needs to be completed within a certain amount of time.

The sentence or action formulated in a sentence of “doing”. “I will get a new car by June so that I can be a more reliable teacher”, read one.

The girl in line at the grocery or next to me in yoga teacher training. The woman at the front desk of the rental building of my first Chicago apartment. She remains a friend to this day. It was like the universe kept telling me, over and over again, that this was my work and not just my story.

As many of my ideas come to me on a drive or in the shower, days later, there was my Sankalpa. I will start a Mother’s Day Yoga class for those who have lost their mothers. These classes happened for years, alongside my beloved teacher, Amy Owen. We gathered on Saturday so we could honor our grief and loss though movement and writing among other unmothered women. It made Sunday lighter and easier for us all. It crafted a connection that was palpable.

Vulnerability has allowed me to share my grief story with others, and in turn give them a place and space to show theirs to me, and to others.

To realize that they can share that we are all part of a community. A favorite author, Pixie Lighthorse, calls it grief tending. Honoring loss is not unlike honoring a birthday. Allow it to take up some space in your life. Like today!

Hmmmm?

We went through questions and teachings and insights. Needless to say, I left without one. I was frustrated.

Loss has defined me since my Mom Ellen died, quite suddenly in 1993. She had a brain aneurysm in a beach chair on her day off. At 50. For years I tried to escape the belief that if I “lived out loud” with my grief - I would become the sad girl in the room. I would make people uncomfortable by talking about her, and rub my sad all over everyone. I also believed that my Mom would be good and pissed if I defined my life in any way by her death.

We are expert in grief avoidance in our culture.

Never talking about or preparing for death, fearing death -- so how could we shamelessly process grief? I kept it all inside -- while I kept meeting the person who had experienced a death in the family. Everywhere I went. Like I was wearing a neon sign or magnet.

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Like a little Sankalpa garden, mine grew. I wanted to create a space where we would be seen and heard in grief. A place for attendees in community to speak their own grief story and witness others.

A community that would draw compassion from one another.

We arrive feeling isolated and leave realizing we are so much more alike than we are different.

Co-Author

I had a dream of coming together, sitting shoulder to shoulder with those who are learning to live with loss.

As a circle of people who have experienced loss of every incarnation, those who are living with grief day to day. Perhaps this was in recent weeks and months- or years and years ago. We are given a time frame by society to “get over it” and as you know if you are reading a grief magazine, the truth is that it lives in us- forever.

My Sankalpa grew and grew to become The Memory Circle. From heart’s desire to reality. When we experience a loss, I believe we become a lighthouse for others. We show them a way forward that perhaps we did not know ourselves back when. We don’t all have to create a movement or business, but we can open a door – or even a warm conversation.

Share something you have learned along the way to make their path more easeful. Gentle.

Grief lives in our daily lives - it comes as a companion of sorts. Sometimes welcome. Sometimes hurtful. It never leaves us, but ebbs and morphs. Comes in like a wave some days, unexpectedly. Or touches us in a remembrance or a moment of connection.

I have seen 444 on the clock, license plates, receipts and more since I opened to this work. As you set your Sankalpa this year, perhaps you will see this little piece of writing as a sign. Like a heads-up penny, or a fiery red cardinal. Making meaning of your loss can help others in ways you never imagined. I hope you will imagine them!

BARRI LEINER GRANT IS A WELLRESPECTED GRIEF SPECIALIST AND FOUNDER OF THE MEMORY CIRCLE. BARRI HOLDS GROUPS, RETREATS AND SEES CLIENTS 1:1. HER MOM ELLEN DIED SUDDENLY IN 1993. SHE ALWAYS ASKS THE NAME OF YOUR PERSON WHO DIED WHEN SHE MEETS YOU. THIS HELPS OPEN A CONVERSATION ABOUT YOUR LOVED ONE AND HELPS TO KEEP THEIR MEMORY ALIVE. SHE HOPES THIS IS A MOVEMENT IN MAKING US A MORE "GRIEF OPEN" SOCIETY. LEARN MORE AT THEMEMORYCIRCLE.COM @THEMEMORYCIRCLE

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GRIEF BEHIND THE CURTAIN AT THE WILDLY POPULAR GETS A GRIEFTASTIC BOOK FAIR MAKEOVER

By Stephanie Sarazin

GET GRIEFY - ISSUE 5 - 2025

AFFIRMING GRIEVERS’ DEEP DESIRE TO CONNECT IN COMMUNITY, THE GRIEFTASTIC BOOK FAIR IS A POWERFUL STUDY IN WHAT IT MEANS TO COLLABORATE FOR GOOD.

Four years later, she is leading grief-centric communities across a variety of platforms.

She is the host of the popular podcast “Grief Is My Side Hustle” (2022), founder of MRJ Consulting, creator of “Grief Mates” a free on-line writing workshop (2022), and facilitates discussions of her two published books, “The End of The Hour” (Zibby Books, 2023), and “Can Anyone Tell Me?” (Sounds True, 2024). But it’s Meghan’s latest brainchild the Grieftastic Book Fair + BFF Brunch (2024) - that is garnering the biggest buzz and is endearing Meghan, and her mission, among the masses.

KIND OF LIKE YOUR CHILDHOOD BOOK FAIR— JUST SADDER

Pictured: (left to right) Stephanie Sarazin, Julianne Manske Rollefson, and Meghan Riordan Jarvis.

In the wake of her father’s death after a year-long battle with cancer and her mother’s unexpected death two years later, trauma therapist Meghan Riordan Jarvis learned that no amount of clinical training can protect us from the experience of deep grief and the impact of personal trauma. Upon admitting herself to the very trauma facility where she often referred clients, Meghan made another surprising realization; the invaluable, yet underutilized tool of community isn’t found inside a therapist’s office, but rather outside.Further exploration reinforced what she’d learned over nearly two decades as a psychotherapist: few options are available for grievers seeking community. “It’s not that we don’t want it”, she shared.

“When we go looking, we can’t find it, and when that happens, we retreat and often isolate and grieve alone.”

Resolute in her vision and determined to succeed, Meghan set out to change that.

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The Grieftastic Book Fair + BFF Brunch took place in Los Angeles on November 23, 2024. A first of its kind event, Grieftastic brought together 35 leading grief authors, clinicians, corporate sponsors, nonprofit leaders, media, and the general public for a day in support of grief education and grief & loss literacy. With book signings, author meet and greets, expert panels, and, of course, shopping for great grief books, I recognized the potential of the Grieftastic Book Fair when Meghan first shared her idea with me last spring. I was delighted to accept her invitation to attend as a Featured Author and later, to join her and business partner, Julianne Manske Rollefson, in planning and producing the event. Julianne, a fellow psychotherapist who specializes in grief and loss, is the COO of MRJ Consulting and the host of the podcast, The Art of Losing.

Based on feedback from guests, the Grieftastic Book Fair + Brunch was a success, but as I reviewed the attendee surveys, two consistencies caught my attention: 1) how often the word “magical” was used to describe the event experience, and 2) the most popular question asked by attendees: “What about next year?”

Connecting these observations, I recognized that respondents weren’t asking about “next year” because the Grieftastic Book Fair is a great idea that was well-executed (though it is and it was), they were asking because of how Grieftastic made them feel.

MAKING GRIEF “MAGICAL” IS NO SMALL TASK, SO I ASKED MEGHAN AND JULIANNE TO SHARE THEIR INSIGHTS. Pictured: The Grief Language Literacy Panel (left to right) Dr. Julie Shaw, John Onwuchekwa, MaryFrances O’Connor. PH.D. and Litsa Williams.

GET GRIEFY: HOW WAS THE IDEA OF A GRIEF-CENTRIC BOOK FAIR BORN? Meghan: My new book CAN ANYONE TELL ME: Essential Questions About Grief and Loss was coming out at the end of October, and I was scheduling book events to coincide with I trip to LA because I was FINALLY going to the End Well conference. I knew so many authors with books coming out or that had come out recently who would also be in LA. That information, paired with the knowledge that Zibby Owens, the publisher of my memoir END OF THE HOUR, had a bookstore in LA got me thinking...maybe we could get together and sell some books.

Julianne: It was a great idea, and our operating planning principle– “We only do it if it’s fun” – informed everything, from the event logo and color scheme to the colorful candy displayed alongside the books at the event. We realized we could present a fresh take on what grief “looks like.”

GET GRIEFY: WHAT WERE THE DIFFERENCES IN THE EVENT AS IT WAS FIRST CONCEPTUALIZED, TO THE ONE HOSTED IN REAL LIFE? Meghan: Oh, I imagined it like the girls scouts selling cookies on a table, but then as the team came together, we aimed for something more elevated. But when everyone showed up and began connecting – wow! I knew it would be fun but hadn’t expected it to be so joyful. I was overwhelmed and ugly crying with gratitude more than once.

Julianne: For me, it was just how much joy and laughter filled the rooms, (along with a spectrum of all of the other emotions).

GET GRIEFY: WHY DO YOU THINK ATTENDEES ARE USING THE WORDS “MAGIC” OR “MAGICAL” TO DESCRIBE THE GRIEFTASTIC BOOK FAIR? Julianne: I think the magic of the event was being together, in community, in person!

While each person’s grief presents differently, one thing that’s true about grief for everyone is that it can feel incredibly isolating, and the magic of this event was its COMMUNITY — face to face connection with others who have a true understanding of what it means to grieve.

GET GRIEFY - ISSUE 5 - 2025 Pictured: (left to right) Barri Leiner Grant, Steve Leder and Gina Moffa.

Meghan: Yes! We all need community, and gathering in person really was the strength of the event. Coming together is healing, but we tend to minimize its benefits because of the hassle or the cost. Grieftastic reminded me that showing up in community is a worthy investment, because we need to hug our people and they need to be hugged by us.

GET GRIEFY: WERE YOU WORRIED ABOUT WORKING WITH FRIENDS? Julianne: I think the most important thing about working with friends is honest communication and establishing values and operating principles before you jump into the work. And in a situation like this, where we had more work to do than people to do it, it’s extremely important to be aligned on the end goals and trust each other to do what needs to be done to get there, even if the path someone else forges to get to the finish line looks very different than how you would do it.

Meghan: I knew my peeps well enough to know they would bring it--and did they ever. Our panel moderators were brilliant, directing meaningful conversations in front of such smart, attentive audiences. And our authors – wow!

They weren’t there just to promote their books, they were exceptional panelists. They were so good in conversation together, you wouldn’t know many of them were meeting for the first time, some when they sat down for their panel – which, it should be said, were masterfully curated by the amazing Julianne.

Julianne: Thank you for the acknowledgement – but even more – thank you for staying on time when you had the microphone!

Meghan: And, I’ll just add, I think it’s the highest form of love is to be respectfully managed for your actual flaws by a fierce team of women who get it DONE. GET GRIEFY: GET GRIEFY: WHAT’S NEXT FOR THE “GRIEFTASTIC”? WILL THERE BE ANOTHER BOOK FAIR? Julianne: The grief community – both those who attended and those who saw event photos and had FOMO – have made it clear that they want more Grieftastic. And so do we!

Pictured: John Onwuchekwa interacting with attendees.

Meghan: We already have a growing list of 30 authors who have reached out or have been suggested to us, so it seems there are a lot of us wanting it again. While I can’t announce anything just yet, I’ll have more to share in February, so keep an eye on our social media!

Julianne: Now that we’ve seen how the Grieftastic Book Fair fills an unmet need, I wouldn’t be surprised if we expanded the brand, and maybe even produced some additional “Grieftastic” events in 2025.

GET GRIEFY: THINK COLLAB! WHO DO YOU HAVE ON THE LIST OF GRIEFTASTIC DREAM TEAM COLLABORATORS? GRIEFTASTIC X _______ (FILL IN THE BLANK) Meghan: I know this answer should be some big brand name to help launch Grieftastic, but honestly, my goal is to be the tide that rises the boats. I think Grieftastic helped a lot of individual authors and grief experts connect in ways that will amplify their work. If we can keep doing that, for me, that’s the definition of dream collaboration.

For information on the Grieftastic Book Fair + BFF Brunch including collaborations, book features, or ticket sales, visit www.grieftastic.com or e-mail Meghan: meghan@Meghanriordanjarvis.com FOLLOW THE MAGIC MAKERS! @meghan.riordan.jarvis @Juliannerollefson @Stephing_Thru

GET GRIEFY - ISSUE 5 - 2025

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by INNIS CASEY

L EGACY

OF A LIFE INTERRUPTED By: Dr. Parul Dua Makkar

What Is Legacy? Legacy is defined as the long-lasting impact of particular events, actions, or the life of a person. Does one need to live a long life to leave a legacy, or can a single moment define it? Sometimes, it’s the quality of a life rather than its quantity that shapes a legacy.

A sibling is a lifelong friend, the one who walks beside you and bears witness to the life you’ve shared.

You rely on your younger sibling to outlive you, not to plan their funeral.

Dr. Manu Dua was my younger and only sibling. He was supposed to outlive my parents, husband, and me. He was meant to tell my children my stories, not the other way around. Yet, in March 2021, I lost the keeper of my past and a part of my future.

When I lost Manu, I had no guide on how to process grief. He died during the COVID pandemic, a time when the world was collectively mourning countless other losses. I was far from my parents, my brother, and my core family and his friends. My parents were navigating their own grief.

When a loved one dies, you often don’t fully comprehend what’s happened at first.

You operate on autopilot, in a state of shock—doing, but not truly processing. It’s only later that the mind begins to grasp what the body has endured. People express their sympathies and then move on. It’s those who remain after—the ones who stay when the ashes have cooled, the tears have dried, the flowers have wilted, and the phone calls of condolence have stopped—that truly matter.

I’ve learned to say no—to obligations, to people, and to things that don’t serve me.

I’ve realized I must take care of myself and stand up for my needs because no one else will.

Life is unpredictable. Tomorrow isn’t promised to any of us. We don’t get to choose the cards life deals us, but we can learn to play our best hand. As I write this, I have also experienced the sudden loss of my father.

My hope for you is to travel through life with hope and love. Recognize that people come into your life for a reason or a season. Life has a way of moving forward, beautifully and inexorably. I believe that while our senses are limited, the love and presence of those we’ve lost remain around us. We truly die twice: once physically, and again when people stop remembering us. As long as the heart remembers, our loved ones live on.

As mortals, we know our deaths are inevitable. I encourage you to take time to reflect: How do you want to lead your life? What matters to you? What dreams do you want to accomplish? How do you want to be remembered? What legacy will you leave behind?

“…Our lives will come and go, but our ideas will remain immortal, and therefore, in essence, the soul behind our work remains eternal. So, seek not to fear your own mortality, but rather embrace the challenge to create something that will outlive your fears and wildest imaginations, such that Life doesn’t go as planned. We try to you may be able to provide service years after you have dearly departed. make sense of the senseless. Grief struck me like a tsunami, taking my Live with the strength that not only is this not possible, but quite tangible breath away—sometimes in silent if we can simply let go of fears that will not serve us with any purpose in tears, other times in bittersweet memories. I cannot change or hope this life or the next.” for a better yesterday, but I can try —Excerpt from Life Interrupted: Dr. Dua’s Survival Guide by Dr. Manu Dua to navigate the future for a greater good. I had to find a way to manage my grief without losing myself or sinking into a dark, dangerous place.

I know what anxiety and depression feel like, but I also knew they weren’t the answer. Too much depended on me.

I’ve realized that those who were not there for me in my sadness— whether family or friends—do not deserve to be part of my joy. Time is a precious commodity, and I don’t need to justify how I spend it. For now, it is mine. Money, wealth, and material possessions are replaceable, but time is not. Time cannot be returned, refunded, or replaced. It is our most precious asset, so we must be wise about how and with whom we choose to spend it.

Dr. Parul Dua Makkar is a dedicated advocate for oral cancer awareness and grief support for healthcare professionals. Through the Dua Good Job Symposium, she educates physicians, dentists, and patients about oral cancer, promoting early detection and improved outcomes.

She also leads Healing the Healers, a grief coaching program for healthcare professionals coping with loss while caring for patients. Her guidance helps them navigate grief and find balance. Explore more at duagoodjob.com.

Instagram @DuaGoodJob

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A Legacy Journal to leave behind love, advice and support for your loved ones, inspired by all the unsaid after unexpected loss. Includes 55+ unique journal prompts and freestyle space!

A memory/grief journal that prompts quirky and specific memories of our loved ones, insuring their essence is safely kept forever!

Includes 55+ unique journal prompts, letters to heaven, sign log and dream log!

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BEYOND THE SCARS: A LIFE WORTH LIVING

By: Jenn Fredericks

I was 17, sitting in the passenger seat of a car, when the thought hit me: What if no one ever wants to date me because of my scars? What if no one ever loves me? What if I never get married and have a family?

There was a twinge in my chest. Life had just gotten back to normal, yet it felt entirely more complicated.

A year out from my first kidney transplant, I was finally spending more time with my friends at school than with doctors at the hospital. As I tried to fit into the rhythms of normal teenage life, I became keenly aware of how different my experiences were from those of my peers. Slowly, to my surprise, I realized I might be okay if my reality turned out to be different from what I’d always envisioned.

Each time I faced a young adult life milestone, that familiar twinge resurfaced, coupled with deep self-doubt and a feeling of “not enoughness.” I now recognize the moment in the car as the first time I grappled with what experts call nonfinite grief—the ongoing, evolving sorrow for a life I had imagined but believed I might never have.

For most of my life, I thought grief was tied to a singular loss, like the death of a loved one. Then I learned about anticipatory grief, the sorrow you feel before a loss actually occurs. Yet as I reflected on my experiences with chronic illness, I realized it was more than that. It wasn’t just about anticipating losses—it was about continually adjusting to a new reality.

Each time I settled back into the swing of things, it was time to return to the hospital for labs to check on my kidney. Every three months—for the rest of my life—I’d be reminded of my health’s precariousness, thrown back into worry and uncertainty about what the next reality might hold. When I make it to Vegas, I won’t need to gamble; I do that every time I visit the phlebotomist.

Nonfinite grief demands that we ease ourselves into a new reality, but that’s easier said than done. My early coping mechanism was humor. To this day, I joke that I look like a magician’s assistant whose “sawing-in-half” trick went horribly awry. At first, this line was a defense mechanism to deflect uncomfortable questions about the scars from my surgeries. Over time, it became more than a shield—it transformed into a tool for resilience.

Humor allowed me to take control of my story. We can’t always control our circumstances, but we can control how we show up in the face of challenges. Humor, paired with realistic optimism, helped me turn vulnerability into strength. By finding ways to laugh—even in the face of pain —I discovered a lightness that made the heaviest moments more bearable.

In that lightness, I began to rebuild a version of my life that embraced both the challenges and the joys of each new reality. In my work as a personal resilience practitioner and Prosilience coach, I often talk about living the “both/and.” Author Suleika Jaouad beautifully articulated this idea in The Isolation Journals and also on Good Morning America alongside her musician husband, Jon Batiste, as they celebrated his Grammy nominations while battling her cancer: “To me, this is so much of life: holding the really beautiful things and the deeply cruel, profoundly hard things in the same palm.”

I have so much light in my life—love, purpose, and joy—but it’s not without its challenges.

My husband and I—yes, that’s right! I found someone to date me, and then he asked me to marry him—knew our path to building a family would be different, so we discussed options early on. To keep my transplanted kidney working, I take daily medications that would be harmful to a baby. I offered a way out of the relationship and this reality, his words still reverberate within me: “Why would I want to have children if it’s not with you? I don’t want to have children with anyone else.”

Those words spoke to an acceptance of all of me. An acceptance of our life together, exactly as it is. That clarity and love carried us through the trials ahead. One of the hardest moments came when we believed we wouldn’t be able to adopt a child we’d hoped for and held in the hospital the night she was born. For a week, we grieved the daughter we thought we’d never hold again, even as I clung to the hope of somehow bringing this sweet girl into our lives.

A few days after her birth, I was running errands when Pearl Jam’s Black came on the radio. I turned up the volume. I loved singing along at the top of my lungs. This time I had to pull over. The lyrics washed over me differently—

GET GRIEFY - ISSUE 5 - 2025

“I know someday you'll have a beautiful life, I know you'll be a star In somebody else's sky, but why, why, why Can't it be, can't it be mine?”

I sobbed.

Sixteen years later, when I hear that song, I feel both the sting of that memory and the bittersweet joy of parenting her.

I acknowledge and honor the sacrifices and loss our daughter and her birth parents endure.

JENN FREDERICKS IS A TWO-TIME KIDNEY TRANSPLANT RECIPIENT NAVIGATING HER CHRONIC ILLNESS JOURNEY FOR THREE DECADES AND ALSO GUIDING HER DAUGHTER THROUGH HER LIFETHREATENING, CHRONIC ILLNESS DIAGNOSIS AND TREATMENT FOR THE PAST NINE YEARS. AS A PERSONAL RESILIENCE PRACTITIONER AND PROSILIENCE COACH, HER PASSION IS GUIDING PATIENTS AND FAMILY CAREGIVERS FROM FEAR, DEPLETION AND UNCERTAINTY TO LIVING WITH MORE CONFIDENCE, CALM AND CONTENTMENT BY BUILDING THEIR PROSILIENCE (PROACTIVE RESILIENCE) TO REPAIR AND PREVENT BURNOUT. FOLLOW HER @JFREDWI

Nonfinite grief doesn’t have a definitive endpoint. Much like traditional grief, it’s not something you “get over.” Instead, it becomes part of your story. Over time, its weight can shift. The challenges of illness ebb, flow, and evolve. And through it all, I’ve discovered a truth that has guided me: Even if your life doesn’t go as planned, it can still be filled with joy and meaning. It may not be the life you imagined, but it is a life worth living. You don’t need to wait for things to be better to live better.

I’m 48 now, sitting in the passenger seat of a car, listening to my husband and daughter argue about whose music playlist is better. There’s a lift in my chest and a fullness in my heart. My life didn’t go as planned. And I wouldn’t want it any other way.

GET GRIEFY - ISSUE 5 - 2025

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A Mother's World Shattered Twice...

Venetta has survived, the worst life has to offer, in her unimaginable, heartwrenching story of the sudden deaths of her only two children, just six months apart.

Suffering excruciating pain, and grappling with complicated grief and guilt, led her to dark places.

Then, in the throes of grief, she was completely blindsided by a cruel twist that shocked people around the world.

Available on Amazo n!

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Suspicions surrounding the investigation into Brandon's death, left Venetta on a path seeking justice for years. Devon's death also sparked mysterious lingering questions.

Writing this book and sharing her story has been an overwhelmingly cathartic experience. Healing is a choice Venetta had to make. Despite grief being a lifelong journey, Venetta has learned how to navigate grief and has integrated the loss of her sons into her life as she continues on her healing journey.

WINNING D R A W A BY AUTHOR LYNCZYK M X O C VENETTA @M

Her remarkable resilience offers hope and comfort to other families experiencing the unimaginable.

Venetta's story will break your heart but leave you amazed and inspired!.

GET GRIEFY - ISSUE 5 - 2024

IEFJO R G S R E H OT

URNEY

RECKLESS TO ROOTED Inheriting Legacy, Finding Myself by: Jasmariah Swenson The year before I graduated high school, my uncle passed away. He was the Chief of our family village in Samoa. I didn’t realize grieving his loss was grieving the life I thought I would have. With his sudden death, my dad would be the next Chief. This meant he & my mom needed to prepare to leave everything behind & move to Samoa. I was born & raised in Southern California, that was all I knew as home. I remember my parents telling me I had to choose between moving to Alaska with my brother or Utah with my uncles. I didn't want to choose either. I wanted to stay home surrounded by everything that was familiar to me. Since that wasn’t an option, I moved to Utah less than one month after my High School graduation.

Loneliness is a constant looping feeling in my life. I was new to Utah and didn’t really know anybody. I would drive around, get lost, get frustrated, & cry. I was new to adulthood & everything was overwhelming. I didn’t have the luxury to call my parents. The only way I could contact them was by using a calling card because they were considered international now. With a calling card you are only allotted a certain amount of minutes per dollar. During the conversation it would warn you when your time was running low & cut the line off when you ran out. If I wanted to talk to my parents again I would have to buy another one at the store. It was inconvenient and I didn’t have much money.

I worked a full time & a part time job. In a few months, I moved out on my own. Fresh into adulthood I made plenty of mistakes. I was reckless. My parents were still alive but they were gone & I felt abandoned. I wondered countless times why they would move me to a place I didn’t know & leave the country. Did the family in Samoa matter more than me? I tried to find my way & I struggled endlessly. At this age, it’s all about trying to figure things out. Do you remember when you were officially “on your own?” When you make a mistake as a child, the consequences are usually more compassionate. When you make a mistake as an adult you have real life consequences like losing your home, your job, events going on your record, etc. It’s a rude awakening & we all wake up at different times.

GET GRIEFY - ISSUE 5 - 2025

When I say that I was reckless, I meant it. I believe that reckless behavior is a cry for help. The more dangerous the behavior the more help someone needs. We live in a society where most of us don’t know how to ask for or accept help. We think we have to figure it all out on our own. This is not to excuse careless behavior, this is to understand it. As a kid, you want to become an adult so people can stop telling you what to do. When I became an adult, too many people were telling me what to do. I couldn’t keep up with what everyone else wanted & somewhere underneath their voices hid my own. My voice was shoved down which only made me rebel more.

Co-Author

Grief is a complex definition, feeling, & perspective. We all grieve differently. I have learned that love & connection comforts grief.

Sharing your story with others to hear, see, relate, & tell you that they still love you is priceless. I walked on this Earth feeling alone for most of my life. There are experiences in my life I thought nobody would ever understand. Community has shown me the importance of revealing my humanity. Seeing the humanity in someone is beautiful, vulnerable, & an honor. It has allowed me to drop my walls of insecurity & fear to be authentic. What’s more powerful than someone loving you for exactly who you are.

Community is everywhere if we open ourselves up to it. My life significantly changed once I began my healing journey. I used to blame my parents for leaving me, lash out with anger because I was hurt. It’s easy to blame our parents but what about their humanity?

When I grieved & released the anger, I felt compassion. I found a deeper love seeing them as more than mom or dad. As I opened up my life with them, they opened up theirs to me. We appreciate each other's strengths, weaknesses, mistakes, & love. I am grateful to share this experience with my parents.

We can choose to walk as strangers on this Earth but the truth is we all know each other. We have all experienced hurt, trauma, love, and an infinite amount of everything in between. I cannot tell you how many people have held me in safe containers, shared insight, & wiped my tears as I cried. I put out the fire in the building I was burning in. My friends let me borrow the hose, my family connected it to a water source, & strangers showed me where to aim. All of them gave encouragement and unconditional love. I wouldn’t be where I am today without my community.

INSTAGRAM | @SWEETJASMARIAH SITE | VULNERABLEWITHME.COM

Not many people have a dad that had to leave his home and immediate family to become the chief of their family village.

However, many people understand the feeling of loneliness or abandonment. It’s empty. I learned how much I looked to my parents to guide me. Constantly trying to show them I was their perfect daughter. Without them, I didn’t know my purpose. I know they serve a deeper purpose that extends to our entire family. My parents are honoring our ancestors, our living family, & our family that is yet to come. My dad has strengthened the foundation in Samoa & the people love him. We have 30 families that live on our land and if you ask any of them, my dad is a humble, fair, & loving Chief. I may not have understood it when I was 18 but I do now. As a parent, I know how difficult this decision was for them. I also know this decision never gets easier as they visit and watch my life more than 5,000 miles away.

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Jazzy is the girl who has been through it all.

Resilient barely scratches the surface of her life experiences. Her diversity in life has been the key to creating meaningful connections. She is an inspired writer, author of “Vulnerable with Me”, and a passionate advocate for autoimmune and heart disease awareness.

Often found creating from her intuition, her words take you on a journey into her life. She loves her family, friends, and most importantly, her home with her husband and three little boys. No matter what life throws at her, she always finds a way to make it through with a beautiful perspective.

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LIVE FREE 5 PILLARS FOR AN EMPOWERED LIFE By: Amanda McKoy Flanagan, LMSW AFTER LOSS

Grief is an insidious master of despair, loneliness, and most of all, disconnection. Loss creates fear of more loss, and this fear either forces us to pull away from our most cherished relationships or suffocate them. Often occurring unconsciously, this fear seems to bubble up from the unknown yet does not materialize out of thin air. For many of us, it’s been there all along, grief just skillfully brings this fear to the surface, and for good reason.

Shortly after my brother died from an overdose in 2018, I told my husband I was considering divorce.

Enter marriage counseling. While dismantling 38 years of a generational family dysfunctional message that taught me to protect my heart because everyone leaves, I got honest about why I was attempting to push away my chronically ill husband: I never embraced a wholehearted, loving connection with anyone, ever, because I was afraid of re-experiencing the intense pain of emotional abandonment from childhood. Jeremy’s death, and the ensuing three months of debilitating depression, convinced me I could not survive another soul-crushing loss.

I was afraid to love because I was afraid to lose.

My healing journey exposed that my inability to love and be loved stemmed from low self-worth; I never felt worthy enough of being loved (they all leave, remember?). The most damaging effect of this limiting belief was my lack of self-love. And because I didn’t love myself, I didn’t trust myself to survive the pain of loss. Today I know I will take care of myself no matter what pain comes down the pike, and this trust is the foundation for inexorable connection with myself, others, and the universe.

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Aligned and in tune within and without, I am empowered to live a life of joy, peace, presence, and purpose with radical self-love and uncompromising authenticity. You too can achieve emotional freedom by practicing the 5 Pillars for an Empowered Life After Loss: TRUST —True Self, Resilience, Unconditional SelfWorth, Surrender, and Transform.

T: TRUE SELF Do you recall when Mufasa told Simba in The Lion King, “Remember who you are.” Well, who are you?

Who have you become after the brutality of life had its way with you? Returning to your True Self demands you to witness and step into all of you, to meet your pain and joy, judgment and compassion. Welcoming each part into your heart space with acceptance and love creates a sense of belonging to your authentic essence.

Securely connected to Self on a deep and meaningful level, you are free to connect with others. Becoming aware of, embodying, and connecting to your True Self is the end of isolation and the beginning of an empowered life free to live in passion and purpose.

R: RESILIENCE Resilience is a hallmark of the human spirit. It’s built into you and ready to deploy when needed.

Acknowledging past obstacles overcome and growth gained from pain is a great way to believe in your resilience now. Belief in your ability to bounce back is good, but assigning meaning to your loss is better. Giving meaning to loss is the story that carries you from barely getting out of bed to living a purposeful, joyful, and empowered life.

Your soul is constantly seeking evolution, and that happens by learning lessons taught through grief. Grief reveals what needs to be changed within, especially limiting beliefs that keep you stuck in old stories. Your innate need to survive (the need that instinctively brings forth resilience) holds tremendous power to revise narratives which no longer serve you, and this elevated belief system comprises the next version of you that is bound to emerge.

Resilience found, you not only bounce back from loss, but you also grow in endurance, wisdom, and grit—three necessary attributes for trusting yourself to not self-abandon when the going gets tough.

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U: UNCONDITIONAL SELF-WORTH Grief kicks up past wounds, even ones we’ve dealt with (you know, the ones from childhood you don’t want to think about?). As mentioned earlier, the gaping wound that was lying dormant but very much alive in my unconscious was emotional abandonment from childhood.

Emotional abandonment occurs when a caretaker cannot meet your emotional needs and this experience typically results in feelings of inadequacy, low self-worth, and a complete inability to love yourself. This deeply rooted pain has the potential to rise with gusto when a member of your nuclear family dies, and your self-worth and self-love may be challenged.

Healing emotional abandonment wounds and learning to give yourself the love you needed as a child fills this hole in your soul. You no longer need another human to provide validation, acceptance, and love because you give it to yourself. This stabilizing root of the soul reshapes your self-perception, fortifying your newfound belief to meet life successfully in fair weather and foul.

S: SURRENDER Resisting grief is futile: At best, resistance keeps you in a state of complacency. At worst, it brings depression, anxiety, and an extra dose of pain.

Refusing to enter your pit of despair will not make it go away; it will only make it worse. The quickest and most impactful way to move through grief is by surrendering to the fact that dying is just a much of part of life as living.

Release your resistance to grief by acknowledging and accepting that the pain of loss is the admission price for enjoying life with your person. You cannot have one without the other, and I bet you would not trade the life you shared for not having to feel loss.

A common belief is that pain is the touchstone of spiritual growth. It’s also the touchstone of emotional growth, and surrendering to the uncertainty of loss will deliver that growth. Grief provides the ultimate opportunity to experience this type of emotional freedom, but you must first address your resistance to the natural rhythm of life and death, and the situations that come to pass which bring both joy and pain. Then you must put these events in the care of something greater than you (God, Universe, Source, etc.).

Safe in connection with this immense, magical, and unpredictable power, you no longer fear the future, come what may. Holding the intention to trust life to unfold as it must and believing you will always have your own back is the key to stepping fearlessly into your greatest passion and purpose.

T: TRANSFORM Like the stages of grief, the TRUST process is not linear— you can practice the concept of “transform” at any time. In fact, the sooner you digest and integrate this idea into your being, the more effective the previous four pillars will be in your healing journey.

You are both human and spirit. Significant inner transformation is achieved by blending the two. It’s not a merging. It’s a welcoming, an embracing. It’s not something you have to search for or become. It’s already there, waiting for you to awaken to the power of your soul and the beauty of your spirit.

Facing both life’s trials and pleasures with unrelenting compassion and disciplined non-judgment of yourself and others (qualities easily attained by consistently living in spirit) will shore up your foundation should your house crumble. Maintaining a lens of absolute love for Self and others will transform grief into happiness and pain into purpose, naturally resulting in self-love and selfconnection, two essential elements required to live an empowered life after loss.

Present in full connection with yourself and others, embodying a loving, open heart and a willingness to encounter life without the fear of future loss, you are free to show up for every experience no matter who stays or leaves, lives or dies. Living in abundant light, love, wisdom, and joy, you will greet unexpected events—welcome and unwelcome—with confidence, grace, and peace in your heart.

A NATIVE NEW YORKER TURNED COLORADAN, AMANDA MCKOY FLANAGAN MASTERFULLY COMBINES URBAN INSIGHTS WITH A NATUREINSPIRED PHILOSOPHY IN HER APPROACH TO LOVE AND LOSS. CERTIFIED INTUITIVE GRIEF COACH, WRITING COACH, PODCASTER, MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKER, AND ENERGY HEALER, AMANDA IS THE AUTHOR OF THE AWARDWINNING INSPIRATIONAL MEMOIR TRUST YOURSELF TO BE ALL IN: SAFE TO LOVE AND LET GO AND HOST OF THE SOL RISING PODCAST.

This greater force is holding you in the palm of its hand and is constantly seeking for you to embrace oneness with all that is.

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@AMANDAMCKOYFLANAGAN WWW.AMANDAMCKOYFLANAGAN.COM

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No one is exempt from suffering BUT EVERYONE IS ENTITLED TO HEALING.

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Grief, Loss, & Life with STRENGTH Chronic Illness FINDING AMID UNCERTAINTY By: Becki Chandler

My mother was in her early 40s when life threw her an unexpected curveball: a diagnosis of Waldenstrom Macroglobulinemia, a rare and incurable type of non-Hodgkin's lymphoma. For 35 years, she managed her illness with a fierce determination that reflected her strength and self-awareness. A dedicated RN, she lived a healthy lifestyle and showed no symptoms when her diagnosis emerged during a routine checkup. The news was as shocking as it was sobering.

Living with a chronic illness is a unique journey marked by an ever-present tension between hope and hardship. Unlike acute conditions, chronic illnesses rarely have a clear endpoint. They become a part of life—an unwelcome guest that never quite leaves. For those affected, it’s a balancing act: striving to lead as normal a life as possible while continuously managing the effects of the disease. Thanks to advancements in research, clinical trials, and breakthrough drugs, what was once a death sentence is now a manageable condition for many. But the emotional and mental toll of such a journey is often overlooked.

THE WEIGHT OF GRIEF IN CHRONIC ILLNESS Grief and loss aren’t reserved for moments of death; they also linger in the day-to-day realities of managing a chronic condition. It’s a slow, ongoing process with no clear endpoint, punctuated by highs and lows. Here are some of the profound ways grief can manifest: Loss of Identity: The illness can redefine how you see yourself and how others see you.

Loss of Independence: Needing help for tasks you once did effortlessly can be deeply unsettling.

Emotional Turmoil: Processing the constant wave of emotions—anger, sadness, fear—can be overwhelming.

Adapting to Change: Adjusting to physical or mental limitations is an ongoing challenge.

Anxiety: The "what-ifs" of scans, symptoms, and new treatments can loom large.

Strained Relationships: Chronic illness can shift dynamics with loved ones, sometimes creating distance or misunderstandings.

Being Misunderstood: The hidden nature of many symptoms means people may not realize the toll it takes.

Financial Fears: Worrying about health insurance, medication costs, and lost income compounds the stress.

Social Isolation: Avoiding environments that pose health risks can make participation in normal activities difficult.

TURNING PAIN INTO PURPOSE Volunteer and Advocate For me, volunteering was a lifeline. At one point, I knew I needed to shift my focus to supporting the cancer community —a place where my experiences could make a real difference.

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Joining the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society allowed me to confront my long-hidden grief. Through this work, I’ve met people who empowered me and shared in my journey.

Together, we’ve turned personal pain into collective purpose. Today, I hold leadership roles in policy, advocacy, and patient outreach, striving to make an impact at both the personal and systemic levels. Sometimes, transforming a negative situation can lead to unexpected and profound positivity.

Connect with community You’re not alone in this. Finding a supportive community can be a game-changer.

Support Groups: Share your experiences and find solace among those who truly understand.

Expert Resources: Attend talks, access educational materials, and meet patient navigators to guide you through the complexities of the healthcare system.

Clinical Trials and Treatments: Learn about breakthroughs that could provide hope and options.

EMBRACING UNCOMFORTABLE CONVERSATIONS Talking about end-of-life plans is never easy, but it’s essential. Knowing a loved one’s wishes can ease the burden on family members during difficult times. From burial preferences to medical directives, these discussions provide clarity and peace of mind. Facing mortality isn’t about giving up—it’s about taking control and ensuring your voice is heard, even when you’re no longer able to speak.

A FINAL THOUGHT Living with or caring for someone with a chronic illness is a journey marked by resilience, adaptation, and, yes, grief. But within the struggles, there is also an opportunity to find strength, community, and purpose.

Whether it’s through volunteering, connecting with others, or advocating for systemic change, every step forward is a victory—one worth celebrating.

So, what will your next step be?

NAVIGATING THE MAZE OF ACCESS TO CARE If you think navigating the healthcare system is easy, think again. The financial toxicity of chronic illness is an oftenoverlooked challenge. From out-of-pocket expenses to denied treatments, the stress can feel insurmountable. Here are some practical steps to ease the burden: Advocate for Yourself: Vote for representatives who prioritize patient rights and healthcare reforms. Share your story with lawmakers to push for change.

Seek Financial Aid: Ask your provider about charity care, subsidies, or drug discounts. Patient navigators can connect you with grants and resources.

Explore Drug Assistance Programs: Many pharmaceutical companies offer free or discounted medications for those who qualify.

Becki Chandler is a dedicated leader with the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society (LLS), serving as Washington State’s Volunteer Advocacy Leader. Through her work in Public Policy and Patient Outreach, she champions legislative change and connects patients with vital resources.

Motivated by personal experiences, Becki’s empathetic leadership breaks barriers and empowers individuals navigating blood cancers. Whether advocating for systemic improvements or offering community support, she is passionate about ensuring that no one faces their journey alone.

Co-Author

@CANCERSUPPORTADVOCACY

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There’s No Place Like Home— A Journey of Grief and Renewal By: Nalda Seidman When I lost my son, Josh, at just 20 years old after a three-year battle with mental illness, I lost my sense of place and self in the world. All of my friends had children, and I wondered if I’d ever feel part of my social group again. I felt like an outsider.

After the memorial service, it was heartbreaking to watch life around me continue as though nothing had changed, while all the light in my life had been extinguished.

It felt as though I’d been catapulted into a world devoid of color—a drab, black-and-white existence. I often found myself daydreaming about Dorothy and her magical journey in The Wizard of Oz. So many times, I wished I could just click my heels together and repeat that simple phrase: “There’s no place like home.” But home wasn’t just a physical place for me; it was a feeling of warmth and security that had slowly slipped away as Josh battled mental illness and later succumbed to an overdose.

My world, once vibrant with laughter and belonging, felt dull and empty without him.

Memories of our adventures flooded my mind—late-night talks, spontaneous road trips that seemed to stretch forever, and those small, extraordinary moments of everyday life. The void he left behind was profound. I missed not only Josh but also the joy that came from our shared experiences. I longed to have him back, to rekindle the connection we shared, and to feel that sense of home again.

Some people return to their routines after a loss. I wanted to retreat from the world. I felt intense shame, believing I had failed to keep my son alive. I had tried so hard to help him —to shield him from the grips of mental illness and addiction—but I couldn’t save him.

I needed a quiet place to grieve. After even a brief outing or visit with a friend, I often needed days alone to recover. Most of the time, I sobbed on my bed. Other times, I simply lay there, trying to restore the energy I’d spent engaging with the world. I thought I might become agoraphobic. It was easy to understand how someone could retreat into permanent isolation.

Gradually, I began to venture out. I attended support groups for parents who had experienced child loss, finding comfort in the shared understanding of those who knew my pain. These sessions eased my loneliness and became a highlight of my week. At the same time, I began posting about my grief on Instagram. It felt like a safe place to express my feelings and share about Josh. I connected with other grieving moms, and our private conversations became a source of solace.

Six months after losing Josh, my husband and I moved to Costa Rica. We needed to decompress from the stress that surrounded his illness and passing. Leaving behind the sad memories and the community where I no longer felt I belonged, I hoped to rebuild my identity and rediscover my sense of adventure.

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In Costa Rica, I volunteered briefly on a farm and met a few other expats, but I still felt socially isolated. I joined an online grief support group and deepened my connections with grieving moms on Instagram. I started blogging about my experiences, which strengthened my ties to others navigating similar losses. Slowly, over the course of a year, I began to feel a renewed sense of purpose.

Aside from building a new community, I found solace in nature. My husband and I took daily walks on the beach and spent weekends exploring volcanoes and waterfalls. Everything around us was so lush— the mountains were blanketed in vibrant green, flowers in bold purples, reds, pinks, and oranges lined the sidewalks, and brightly colored birds filled the air with cheerful songs. In the evenings, the sunsets cast a golden glow over the ocean and mountains, creating scenes that felt straight out of a fairy tale.

I still wish I could return to my old life. I’d trade all I’ve gained for just one more day with Josh in a heartbeat. But I’ve come to embrace new experiences because I carry Josh with me into them. The more I engage with my new community, the more I feel his energy all around me.

I’ve created a new, vibrant world.

It’s different from what I had with Josh, but in its own way, it’s becoming wonderful.

My time in Costa Rica was deeply restorative.

As I approach the end of my second year without Josh, I see how I’ve grown around my grief. It hasn’t gotten smaller, but I’ve become stronger. I’ve learned to manage the waves of sadness, holidays, and birthdays more gracefully than I did in the first year. I now plan for these difficult days by focusing on self-care and creating traditions that honor Josh’s life.

Two months ago, we left Costa Rica and moved to Croatia. Today, I am a contributor for Open to Hope, a nonprofit that helps bereaved families find hope after loss. I’ve also become a Certified Grief Educator through David Kessler’s program and started an online support group that uses writing and art to process grief. Most importantly, I find comfort in connecting with others who are also navigating life after the loss of a child.

My life has meaning, though I still can’t make sense of Josh’s death. I’ve stopped asking “what if” questions and blaming myself. Counseling and support groups have taught me to prioritize my physical, mental, and spiritual well-being. I’ve learned that grief is energy—it needs to move through the body, or it will become stagnant. I channel it into writing, creative projects, and connecting with other grieving moms.

Nalda is the founder of The Grief Hub, an online community that provides grief resources and helps grievers connect with one another.

She is also a blogger on Substack and a Contributor for Open to Hope, a nonprofit whose mission is to help bereaved families find hope after loss. As a Certified Grief Educator, her offerings include individual and group support that incorporate writing and expressive art to process grief and trauma called Heal Your HeART, as well as workshops. After the loss of her son, Josh, in March of 2023 as a result of mental illness and addiction, Nalda has dedicated her life to helping others find healing and peace in the midst of grief, with the ultimate goal of holding joy and grief simultaneously.

Instagram @the-grief-hub Site: www.the-grief-hub.net

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HOW TRAVELING CAN HELP US GRIEVE AND GROW BY: TARA ACCARDO GET GRIEFY - ISSUE 5- 2025

It’s no secret that grief is one of life’s most challenging experiences. It rips apart everything we knew and trusted, it breaks us open in ways we couldn’t have imagined, and alters our very existence. It’s a deeply personal process that requires many things—time, patience, and an immense dose of self-compassion being just a few. What’s so underrated is how deeply loss impacts us, and how it truly lasts a lifetime. As grievers who certainly didn’t ask to be in this “grief club” we now find ourselves in, we have to navigate this experience as such. And, in the process, determine a way to wrap our heads around the magnitude of this fact.

For those of us navigating the heavy fog of loss, the idea of stepping outside our comfort zone— or even outside our front door—might feel overwhelming. This is where the idea of having new experiences, or really doing anything outside of our “norm”, can simply feel too daunting.

But, this is where we have an opportunity to take a step back and get curious about our grief— when we’re ready. This is where travel can come in and sweep us off our feet in the most beautiful ways. When approached with intention and curiosity, traveling to new and unique places can become a transformative path to healing.

To clarify, though, traveling while grieving isn’t about running away from the pain. It’s about creating space for perspective, healing, and reconnection with yourself and the world to get to know it in a different way than you did before.

Because we’re just not the same person we were before our loss(es).

EXPANDING OUR PERSPECTIVES THROUGH TRAVEL Grief often pulls us inward, narrowing our world and leaving us feeling disconnected from life and those around us. The beauty of traveling is it can be a powerful force that breaks through that emotional isolation, reminding us of the vastness of the world and our place within it.

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Each interaction—whether it’s sharing a meal with locals, exploring a historic site, venturing off the beaten path, traversing a renown one, or observing the rituals of a foreign land—can broaden your perspective. These moments remind us that while loss is universal, so too are resilience, love, and connection beyond what we’re feeling right now.

Travel forces us to look beyond ourselves, which can be profoundly grounding. There’s something about traveling that takes the ego out of things, if we let it. Grief should never be a game of comparison, but it’s hard not to have moments where we might think, “Wow, my life could be like this or that.”

Seeing or hearing the strife others have endured will never diminish or take away from what we’ve lost–period. But we can definitely have moments where we might say to ourselves, “Damn, things could be worse.”

It helps us realize that our grief, while significant and valid, is part of a larger human experience.

This realization often brings a (sometimes strange) sense of comfort and connectedness that can feel out of reach in the depths of sorrow.

TRAVEL AS A MODALITY OF HEALING AND OPENNESS If you haven’t heard this already, this is the perfect opportunity to remind you that grief is not linear, and there’s no one-size-fits-all solution.

Because really, there’s no “solution” or “fixing” it, right? And travel is certainly not a quick fix. Yet, there is something inherently therapeutic about moving through new landscapes, getting outside of our bubble, engaging our senses, and stepping away from the everyday routines that might anchor us in our pain.

When we travel, we engage in a form of mindful presence that we might not even realize. This mindfulness is a practice we so desperately need while we’re grieving and often living in longing of the past, or worry or fear of the future.

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When we travel, we engage in a form of mindful presence that we might not even realize. This mindfulness is a practice we so desperately need while we’re grieving and often living in longing of the past, or worry or fear of the future.

TARA ACCARDO

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It’s no secret that the act of traveling and exploration can test us in new and unfamiliar ways.

It often demands flexibility and adaptability, two traits that grief can test. But any challenges we face strengthens our ability to cope, persevere, and build trust within ourselves that we can do hard things. By doing so, we remind ourselves of our own resilience—a powerful realization for anyone grieving a loss.

We sometimes don’t realize the breath of fresh air we so desperately need until we get it. There’s something profoundly humbling about standing on the edge of a vast ocean or hiking through a dense forest. These experiences remind us of the bigger picture: that life is everchanging, and though grief feels permanent, it too will evolve.

FINDING PEACE AND EXPANSION THROUGH NEW EXPERIENCES

Moreover, the novelty of travel often sparks a sense of curiosity and joy.

Whether it’s trying a food you’ve never heard of, stumbling upon a hidden gem, or learning about a new tradition, these experiences remind us that life still has surprises and delights waiting for us–a reminder we constantly need as we’re grieving.

Traveling has a way of cracking us open in ways we never could have imagined, as does loss. But in a new place, we may find peace in the beauty of nature, solace in the kindness of strangers, or unexpected joy in simple pleasures like a shared laugh or a perfect sunset.

For those who are grieving, this openness can be especially healing. Healing, mind you, being a continuous process that never really ends. Loss often leaves us feeling emotionally closed off, afraid to love or engage fully with life for fear of more pain. Travel has a way of softening those walls, showing us that it’s possible to feel deeply again—even if it’s just a fleeting moment of wonder at the Grand Canyon, gratitude for a delicious meal in Italy, or awe over the northern lights.

TRAVELING AS A TESTAMENT TO THE HUMAN EXPERIENCE Grieving is one of the most painful experiences we can endure, hands down. But it also speaks to the depth of our love and fragility of life. We never know when our life, health, or capacities may be stripped from us, and loss does nothing if not force us to realize how true this really is.

Traveling isn’t about escaping that love or pain; it’s about embracing it in a new way. It broadens our capacity for healing, sharpens our ability to learn and grow, and there’s an undeniable depth that exploration can add to our perspective and mindset. It expands and transforms us. Travel certainly can’t erase grief—nor is that the point. But it can soften its edges, giving us moments of peace, clarity, and even joy.

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If you’re grieving but feeling ready, this is your sign to consider taking that step toward the unknown.

You might just find that in the process of exploring the world, you rediscover yourself, too. A version of yourself that certainly didn’t ask for the loss, trials, and tribulations that you have and will continue to go through, but one that you can fully own and embrace.

Whether your journey of adventure and exploration takes you across the globe or to a neighboring town, this is your reminder to be open to the peace, openness, and healing you seek. Because even in the midst of grief, there is always room for new beginnings.

Tara Accardo is a Grief and Transformational Life Coach and host of the Life With Grief Podcast and the newly launched Taste Toast Travel Podcast. After losing her parents to cancer within six months of each other, her journey of grieving led her to create Losses Become Gains—a community for fellow grievers that serves tools, resources, inspiration, and guidance on how to cope with grief, loss, and navigating life with both in tow. Through her podcast, one-on-one coaching and other modalities for healing, Tara’s passion and calling to support fellow grievers runs deep.

Site: lossesbecomegains.com Instagram: @lossesbecomegains @tastetoasttravel_ | @lifewithgriefpodcast

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WHEN GRIEF OVERLAPS

GUIDING YOUR CHILDREN THROUGH LOSS AMID YOUR OWN STRUGGLES

BY IRMA PROSSER

I’ve experienced grief in many forms, but the hardest part of parenting has been caring for my children’s emotional well-being while navigating my own losses.

Dealing with cancer diagnoses, pregnancy loss, the death of a beloved pet, and the loss of friendships, I found myself grappling with how to help my young children process their feelings when they couldn’t fully understand what had happened.

While I suffered through one pregnancy loss after another, endured surgeries, and coped with the heaviness of illness, I began to notice my children grieving in their own ways. Having never been taught how to grieve in a healthy manner myself, I only knew one thing: I wanted my children to thrive despite the difficulties life had thrown at us.

Children don’t grieve the same way adults do. I quickly realized that while I was overwhelmed by the immensity of our losses, my children were struggling too—but differently. My toddler didn’t cry or talk much about what was happening, but I saw the confusion in their eyes when they noticed my tears.

My preschool-aged daughter started acting out, throwing tantrums, and clinging to me in ways she hadn’t before. At first, I thought it was just a phase.

But I soon realized: it was grief.

For children, grief isn’t linear. It can feel incoherent, showing up as anger, withdrawal, or even laughter at unexpected moments. In the midst of my own sorrow, I had to learn to recognize grief in my kids—even when they couldn’t express it aloud.

THE POWER OF EMPATHY One of the most important lessons I’ve learned through this journey is the power of empathy. As parents, there’s an instinctive urge to “fix” things when our children are hurting. We want to shield them from pain and confusion. But grief isn’t something that can be fixed— it’s something we must walk through, step by step.

I remember feeling isolated in my own grief, like no one truly understood the depth of my sorrow. Well-intended advice from others often left me feeling hollow or misunderstood. I never wanted my children to feel that same loneliness, so I committed to doing things differently for them.

Empathy isn’t just about offering comfort; it’s about creating space for children to express their sadness, confusion, or even anger. When my daughter lashed out with tantrums, I reminded myself that it wasn’t about bad behavior—it was her way of processing emotions too big for her little heart. Instead of reacting with frustration, I would sit with her, hold her, and say, “I know you’re feeling really sad right now. It’s okay to feel sad.”

It wasn’t about solving her grief; it was about acknowledging it and showing her she wasn’t alone in her emotions.

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CREATING STRUCTURE AND RITUALS In the chaos of loss, one thing I knew for certain was that my children needed structure. Loss shatters our sense of normalcy—it’s a massive disruption to the predictable routines that help us feel safe. For children, routine is especially important. Even in the midst of grief, I worked to maintain regular mealtimes, bedtimes, and family rituals that brought stability.

I also created new rituals to honor what we lost. Lighting candles on anniversaries, touching our dog’s picture on the wall, or saying a small prayer together—these rituals helped my children make sense of the loss in a way that resonated with them. It wasn’t about moving on; it was about integrating the loss into our lives.

Dr. Daniel Siegel once said, “Grief is not something to get over. It is a process that can integrate loss into a child’s developing identity.” These rituals became tools to help my children understand that it was okay to feel sad and that grief is a natural, ongoing process.

THE ROLE OF STORIES Another lifeline for us was stories. Children’s books about loss became an invaluable resource when I struggled to find the right words to explain what had happened. Stories allowed my children to see their own emotions reflected back to them and provided a safe space to explore those feelings.

Maria Montessori once said, “The child’s grief is silent; it is the adult who must give it a voice by creating spaces where sorrow can be safely explored.” Stories helped give that voice to my children’s grief, opening a door for conversations about what they were feeling.

SEEKING PROFESSIONAL HELP Despite our best efforts, there were moments when I realized that love and support alone weren’t enough. That’s when I sought professional help. Therapy was not a sign of failure; it was a tool to help us navigate our grief in healthy ways. It also showed my children that asking for help—even as an adult—is a sign of strength.

Irma Prosser is a multiaward winning children's book author.

Her preschool books are aimed at giving families simple language and useful activities to process grief. She uses current science and colorful paintings to help readers of all ages know that change can be hard but there are people in the world to help support them.

Find out more about her mission at IrmaProsser.com or follow her @irmaprosserauthor

MOVING FORWARD TOGETHER Fred Rogers once said, “Often when you think you’re at the end of something, you’re at the beginning of something else.” Grief isn’t the end—it’s the beginning of a new chapter shaped by love, loss, and healing.

Helping children through grief isn’t about taking their pain away. It’s about walking alongside them, creating space for their emotions, and offering empathy in moments of sorrow.

In doing so, we also begin to heal ourselves. By showing our children the empathy, love, and understanding we may have longed for in our own grief, we can break cycles of unresolved pain and move toward healing—together.

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Losing a child is every parent’s worst nightmare— something no one should have to face. But when the unimaginable happens, how do you find your way through the pain? Trunnis Goggins’ Stories of Children Lost steps in as a heartfelt, down-toearth resource for anyone navigating the grief of child loss. Forget the outdated, clinical approaches to grief; this anthology is a collection of raw, real, and deeply personal stories meant to uplift, inspire, and remind us that even in the darkest times, there’s hope.

Hope for Everyone, No Matter Your Journey

Turning Pain Into Purpose

It’s not all heavy, either. Amid the sadness, the book is full of hope, inspiration, and examples of people finding light again. It’s like a warm hug in book form—a reminder that while grief changes you, it doesn’t have to define you.

Trunnis Goggins didn’t just want to write a book— he wanted to create a movement. The purpose of Stories of Children Lost is simple but powerful: to show that while loss is painful, it can also be transformative. “These stories are from people who’ve faced unthinkable tragedy but found ways to channel their grief into honoring their loved ones and helping others,” Goggins shares.

Proceeds from the book fund scholarships and subsidize grief counseling for families who need it most, turning heartbreak into action.

Goggins believes storytelling is the key to healing and connection. “Stories build bridges,” he explains. “They show you that you’re not alone, that your feelings are valid, and that others have been where you are. That sense of community is so important when you’re grieving.”

The beauty of this book is that it’s not just for people who’ve experienced child loss. It’s also for anyone who wants to understand grief better, support someone who’s grieving, or just feel inspired by stories of resilience.

“Even if you haven’t been through this kind of loss, the book reminds you there’s life to live, ways to honor loved ones, and ways to keep their legacy alive,” Goggins says.

Stories That Stick With You The contributors to this anthology pour their hearts onto the pages, sharing stories that will stay with you long after you close the book. Erin Blechman, who lost her son Max to suicide, says writing her chapter was as healing for her as it was intended to be for readers. “When I lost Max, I was drowning in grief. I didn’t know how to survive it, let alone move forward,” she shares. “Writing my story was a way to connect with others and let grieving parents know they’re not alone. Surviving the loss of a child is possible—even if it doesn’t feel like it at first.”

Then there’s Dr. Heather Taylor, a psychologist who contributed her expertise to the book.

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Having watched her own parents grieve the loss of her brother, she’s devoted her career to helping others navigate loss.

“Grief after child loss is often met with silence, and that silence can be so isolating,” she explains. “This book breaks that silence. It shows parents they’re seen, supported, and not alone.”

Healing in Community For Goggins, the impact of the book has been deeply personal. “Since the book came out, I’ve had people from all over the world reach out to me,” he says. “They’ve shared their stories, thanked us for our bravery, and even opened up about their own losses.

It’s been a reminder that while grief is personal, healing can be communal.”

And that’s really what Stories of Children Lost is about: building a community where grieving parents can find understanding, connection, and hope.

A Modern Resource for Modern Grief Let’s be real: most resources for grief feel outdated, clinical, or just plain out of touch.

Stories of Children Lost breaks that mold.

It’s raw, relatable, and full of heart—a book that feels more like sitting down with a friend who gets it than reading a textbook on grief.

Whether you’re navigating loss yourself or supporting someone who is, this book is a reminder that healing is possible, love is forever, and even in the toughest times, we’re never truly alone.

Let it remind you that no matter how deep the pain, there’s always a way forward— and a community of people ready to walk it with you.

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TRUNNIS GOGGINS II, AN ACCOMPLISHED EDUCATOR, AUTHOR, AND CONSULTANT, HAILS FROM BUFFALO, NEW YORK, NOW RESIDING IN ASHEVILLE, NORTH CAROLINA. WITH A DISTINGUISHED MILITARY BACKGROUND, HE’S EARNED FIVE NAVY AND MARINE CORPS ACHIEVEMENT MEDALS. RECOGNIZED BY ORGANIZATIONS LIKE NASPAA AND NSLS, TRUNNIS HAS PROVIDED CONSULTING TO SMALL BUSINESSES NATIONWIDE AND GUIDED HIGHER EDUCATION INSTITUTIONS IN ACCREDITATION AND ONLINE LEARNING. WITH OVER 16 YEARS IN HIGHER EDUCATION, HE’S HELD ROLES LIKE PROFESSOR, DEPARTMENT CHAIR, AND DIRECTOR OF WORKFORCE DEVELOPMENT. CURRENTLY, HE SERVES AS A LEAD INSTRUCTOR IN THE COLLEGE OF BUSINESS AT WESTERN GOVERNORS UNIVERSITY, WHERE HE LEVERAGES HIS EXTENSIVE EXPERIENCE TO EMPOWER STUDENTS WITH PRACTICAL KNOWLEDGE AND SKILLS ESSENTIAL FOR SUCCESS IN THE EVER-EVOLVING BUSINESS LANDSCAPE. KEEP UP WITH TRUNNIS AND HIS LATESTS PROJECTS ON INSTAGRAM @AUTHORTRUNNISGOGGINS AND CHECK OUT HIS WEBSITE THE4PSOFYOU.COM

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Get Griefy is created by Kera Sanchez, a High School Dean, Navy wife, and mom of two in the Chicagoland area.

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