Her Confessions by Candy Publishing

THE OTHER WOMAN

“It is my mission to help you discover the silenced and often suppressed woman resting within and infuse a desire to live courageously without reservation or regrets.” The Other Woman

THE OTHER WOMAN

My Confession A

sking for help isn't easy for me I'm usually at the end of my rope or have my back against a wall before I scream for mercy. Chaplain Julia Cadenhead's article on page ten gave me the courage to share an overdue cry for help I wasn't aware I needed. This shows how one woman's sharing can empower, encourage, and/or enlighten another woman. I too, benefit from this publication! Use your voice! Tell your truth! Share your story! During a recent VA video appointment, I was asked if I ever experienced MST. The nurse gave a brief explanation of military sexual trauma. As she spoke, my thoughts drifted to when I first joined the Navy forty years ago. There was silence between us for a moment then I hesitantly answered her question. "Yes, I have." She then asked if I wanted to talk to someone about it. After another brief moment of silence, I agreed to talk to someone.

laVender shedrick williams Creator/Publisher of The Other Woman (TOW) https://www.facebook.com/lavender.williams

photo credit - The Ugly Goat

The day arrived when I would "talk to someone" and I was full of anxiety. I felt like my stomach was full of knots. I didn't know what to expect or what I would say. The moment came when I would share what I kept a secret for so many years. As I shared, I experienced a flow of therapeutic tears and feelings of anger and guilt. The counselor said I definitely experienced sexual trauma and she offered therapy for PTSD. Wait...what? Are you saying I have PTSD? I need therapy, too? Without hesitation, I accepted the help. My tears and initial sharing felt amazingly liberating, so I can't imagine the benefits of therapy. Forty years of unspoken, buried pain - talk about peeling back the layers! At the end of our conversation, I had so many thoughts and questions. How has my secret impacted my life? How has my secret influenced my inability to trust people (especially men)? Has my secret been my reason for avoiding relationships? All I can say is I'm ready for another rebirth! I'm ready for healing! I'm ready for therapy! Therapy - I said it and it feels good. To be continued...

laVender shedrick williams

THE OTHER WOMAN

Volume 5 Issue 2

Her Confessions

Who is she? Meet the back cover model on page 30.

Copyright – The Other Woman (TOW)is published three times a year by Candy Publishing, an independent publishing company located in Montgomery, AL. Copyright 2020. All materials are protected by copyright laws. No material contained in this publication may be reproduced in whole or in part without written permission from the publisher. Contact Candy Publishing ATTN: The Other Woman P.O. Box 9083 Montgomery, AL 36108. Printed in the United States. THE OTHER WOMAN

FREE the other woman If not now, when?

Happiness Is Within

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The Other Woman is published by Candy Publishing. www.theotherwomanmagazine.com

Contents

Team TOW Julia T. Cadenhead (CAPT, CHC, USN (Ret.) 10 Woman Veteran - Veteran Woman Robert L Congress Brittany Leigh Davis 24 GRAND Memories Lara McKnight 23 The Backside of Motherhood

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Beyond The Swipe

Vernon Watson 56 Is One Woman Enough?

LIFESTYLE 36 Regrets From An Older Woman 44 I'm Lazy LOVE AND MARRIAGE 46 My Husband Irritates Me 49 Embrace Singlehood

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YogaRo

A MAN’S MIND 50 Master Manipulator 54 Finally I Woke Up 18 Are You Stuck? 19 Her Edition 22 A MzUndastood Moment

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Master Manipulator THE OTHER WOMAN

I AM FREE TO BE ME...

UNAPOLOGETICALLY THE OTHER WOMAN

Feeling trapped by life? Did you lose yourself between wife and mother? Feeling robbed by responsibilities? Muddled in your marriage? Evolving? Transitioning? Going through the change of life? Feeling imprisoned, caged, or bound? On a journey to find your SELF? FREE THE OTHER WOMAN! The Other Woman is resting within and waiting for you to set her free! Give her permission to live, to grow, to take risks, to love, to laugh, to live her ONE LIFE unapologetically without regrets.

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“Woman Veteran – Veteran Woman”

Julia Cadenhead, CAPT. CHC. USN (Ret.)

Presenting with special needs or being singled out as needy or weak is usually a kind of curse for all military members. I learned that to admit I needed help or counsel might mean I was not ‘fit for duty.’ In that regard, one assumption was deeply offensive: because I’m a woman, I’m weak. That lie hurts. In due time, I decided to morph the word ‘counsel’ into ‘council’. That was a big help, but didn’t develop the necessary inner-dependent healthy quality of being a comrade.

want to be known as a veteran; the original standard one-word identity. My gender is lived out in all my life choices. I like being a woman. I admit that integrating womanhood into my military service has been a significant chore. I suffer from posttraumatic stress, related in large part, to my gender as a result of my active-duty service. And that is in addition to significant traumatic events that many veterans have experienced. Let me provide just a few things that have contributed to my post-traumatic stress in hope they might stir your inner self. Good or bad? You choose. First rule for me: many service members experience trauma. I am not a singularity. That’s important to remember. Oh, and what follows is only the tip of the iceberg, but enough to give others permission to take a breath and look at their own issues. THE OTHER WOMAN

Once, during a conference, a young woman grad student leaned over to me and said: “you’re wearing the uniform and have officer’s rank why don’t you use it to get me into the service?” I was floored. For one: she didn’t realize that the fact that I was serving at all (in 1982) was a contribution to her future. I believed she was not ready for the realities of military service. I wasn’t prepared to respond. I saw loneliness all over again for her and for me. Bravado is probably necessary – “I am woman hear me roar”. It helps build inner esteem. Promote morale. But it is best mixed with “staying off the skyline” when necessary. It is an art. Not observing ‘the skyline’ can get any service member killed.

very well. Being agile takes inner fortitude and calculated thought. One must observe and learn the functional aspects of the dominant culture. Veterans live with code words – snipe, dirtbag, gun decking, bad, or good, it’s managed dutifully within the services. It is also a means of quick communication during a crisis of warfighting. And, yes, these terms are often misused or abused. But, ‘the heat of the moment’ is no time to get offended by a mere word. So, I hold on; hold up.

Add assumptions not limited to the military: You slept your way to the top. It is almost as hateful as “tokenism”. ‘You’re a quota; the system needed a woman so you were promoted’. Stir those assumptions into your stress and self-esteem. Through the years I found that ‘fix one aspect and another surfaces can build up into unexpected stress. I endured and worked to cope with these stressors. What about truth-telling and forgiveness, forbearance? Don’t gun-deck them. One rule for effective stress management and healing – find an appropriate support group. Find Inculcated values can exacerbate one that fits you. A private, safe one. stress: By definition, military service is They’ve (finally) started popping up! a closed culture. Mission first. Should In closing, I am a veteran. I served be. However, sometimes this culture my country and my God with strong and tradition doesn’t translate context commitment and great pride. If I had it to do all over again? I would. 10

WOMAN You are enough

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Inside Every Woman Is A Wolf

he publication of the book Women Who Run With Wolves, by Clarissa Estes, seems to have ushered in a new female archetype: the wild woman. The book has been a wild success, with translations in 18 languages, several editions, and reprints. The interesting thing about the text is that it offers a magic and jubilant way of understanding feminism. The basic premise of the book is that inside of every woman is a wild spirit, a wolf spirit. This spirit shelters vital and powerful energy that is born from the spontaneity of her natural way of being. This feminine animal is also fierce, she knows how to protect herself from predators and overcomes lack of experience or naïveté. The wolf is strong and knows how to show off her strength, even if it has been dormant for a long time. The wolf is a misunderstood and stigmatized animal. Her wild side isn’t pure ferocity. She knows how to be the matriarch of her pack, she knows how to guide the others. She is capable of being the leader without fear or insecurity. She learns from her experiences and she knows how to take care of herself. The wolf and modern women Although modern women have made some incredible achievements and reached positions of power, they are a long way from their wild wolf essence. The Wild Woman doesn’t submit to commands like modern women do in advertising. Nor does she allow others to tell her what path THE OTHER WOMAN

to take. The Wild Woman is creative, passionate, instinctive, and wise. Being a woman is a privilege. Nevertheless, our culture buries this fact. Sometimes women themselves bury it. The origin of our very civilization revolves around women. In the beginning, the only established blood ties were through women. Human groups congregated around mothers because not much was understood about paternity. Human society began with women at the center. In the dawn of mankind, the “wild woman” had her place. Today, however, femininity has been devalued. Many women try to achieve autonomy by imitating men, but a wild woman isn’t male. She is a wild and determined female who appreciates her femininity. In particular, a wild woman doesn’t let anyone have power over her body. She dances alone or with a partner. She embraces and holds those around her. She is joyful and connected to her instincts and desires. She doesn’t let anyone tell her what she should weigh, when she should have children, or how to act for the approval of others. The challenge of the wolf

Our culture imposes stereotypes of the “good woman” and “bad woman”. The first is respectable, many judge her to be the perfect example of virtue. The bad woman, on the other hand, risks stability because she wants to advance and progress. That’s why many societies call these types of women “bitches” or “sluts” and even wolves. They are the ones who give people something to talk about. They cause

scandal. Interestingly, the word “puta” (Spanish for “slut”) comes from the word “buzda”, which means wisdom. Rome, which was the capital of the world, was founded by Romulus and Remus. These abandoned boys survived thanks to the wolf who breastfed them. In classic Rome, prostitutes were not women who offered 15 minutes of sex to the highest bidder. In general, they were instructed in politics, astrology, math, and much more. They didn’t just offer sex, but also well-rounded company. They were great conversationalists. The concept was similar to that of the geishas. This might give the idea that a wild woman is similar to a prostitute, but that isn’t the case. The wild woman doesn’t demand, she offers. She doesn’t ask, she gives. In spite of this, she isn’t domesticated. If she acts this way it is because she feels powerful, not because she is submitting. She knows she can leave any day, without having to choose a destination. She knows she belongs to herself, which is why she can dedicate herself to other things. She’s not afraid of giving herself to someone else because she is free. She’s not afraid of suffering because she knows she is strong. The wild woman is a great friend. She is loyal and protective. She is also very spiritual: she orients her life towards universal values and not end-of-themonth goals. She loves art because it is the best avenue of free expression. She loves herself, without being narcissistic or egotistical. The best part of all is that this wild wolf is inside every woman. All she has to do is gather the courage to wake it up. source: https://exploringyourmind.com/ inside-every-woman-wolf/

Women Who Read Are Amazing - Here's Why!

eading cures much of what ails you, offering up escape, entertainment and new ideas. It seems with each new book there’s something that resonates, either subconsciously or consciously and becomes a part of you – you can’t go back. There’s also something mysterious about someone, be it man or woman, alone with a book. And as for women that read? They are awesome. Women who read: are happy, Your mood is important, it determines how you interact with others and how you approach your day-to-day tasks. And Lets face it, books are mood elevators. Women who read make great conversationalists. I’ve never met a curious person I didn’t like. It’s an amazing trait. The curious read everything, so they have a wealth of information just waiting to bubble to the surface. They are pillars of inspiration who breath new life into conversations. Women who read love their time alone. Nothing is more appealing than confidence. Having a certain something about the way you act and think – a sort of effortless independence. You’re comfortable enough to go about your day and let the small things slide. Reading has this effect – when you have a good book, you don’t mind waiting for people, appointments or in line at the grocery. Boredom is not in your vocabulary. A woman who reads loves her alone time. source: https://www.princetonbookreview.com/blog/women-who-read-are-amazing/

Excerpt from We Snap In Silence It's Not About You As women, we are expected to be strong. We are taught to endure. We are programmed to walk through our pin. This may be true, but we forget or choose not to accept one important fact: our pain is not about us. Our pain is our power when shared. Playing charades only ruptures our potent bond as women. Our pain is another woman's gain. There is strength in our suffering as we carry the load of responsibilities of being a woman, wife, and mother. By all means, walk through your pain! Endure! Just remember, if we don't share how we endured, we deny another woman the opportunity to know peace in her life - to be free. Because we are hesitant to share we silently live in pain and frustration, which may cause us to snap in silence. We damage our health our homes, oruo relationships, and our fellow women's hope - all because we play the popular game of charades. THE OTHER WOMAN

We meet the world each day with our favorite game face.we are very careful to cover our true self. Sure the outside looks great, yet our eyes speak words of fatigue, dissatisfaction and hurt. One would never know of our long days and nights or the many challenges faced on a daily basis. We wear the masks of Able Anna, Bubbly Bernice, Cook Cathy, Dependable Donna, Energetic Eunice, Faithful Felicia, Gorgeous Gertrude, Happy Helen, Independent Irene, Joyful Janice, Merry Mary, Prompt Paula, Righteous Rhonda, Spiritual Sarah, Timely Tina, Vivacious Vicky and the game names go on an on. The game is silently accepted and played without a spoken word. The only rule is to not reveal your "true self" in public. Irritability, unhappiness, burn out, fatigue, depression, and the monthly haunting of hormones must be kept covered with your favorite shades of make up and a smile. Shhh...it's a secret. No one is allowed to know your are about to reach your breaking point. Just snap in silence.

“That's the thing about books. They let you travel without moving your feet.” Jhumpa Lahiri, The Namesake

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Doing It Scared JOEDIAN FAITH

"As scary as it was to be in a new city by myself, I had to take the leap of faith to..."

was 17 years old and I moved out my mother’s house. Not because she did anything wrong; but because I needed to do everything right. Although we are not perfect human beings, it wouldn’t kill us to try to be a better one. As scary as it was to be in a new city by myself, I had to take the leap of faith to see the God in relationship and leave the one in religion alone. I remember days of feeling depressed, lost, and confused but still hopeful that one day everything would be okay. I started working at a sandwich shop, Which, Which. I met amazing people who are now considered really good friends of mine. A year later, we all quit this job at the same time because it was just time to go. Not knowing what was next; I kept praying and asking God to order my steps. Keep in mind, everything I was doing was to eventually be in a position to help myself and my mother, so as I’m working these jobs, it wasn’t like I wanted to stay there but I knew no one becomes x,y,&

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z over night. You have to put in the work, you have to be humble, you have to normalize patience, grace, and positive self talk!! Despite my next move, I knew in the back of my mind that the next move was leading me to the real move. God was good to me, he favored me, and still, I’m blessed. I’m not blessed because I’m better than anyone, but because I’m doing it scared. I’m doing it with anxiety, I’m doing it with the voices in my mind saying, “you’ll never amount to anything.” The reality is, I know that’s not true. If we don’t want to work 9-5, we don’t have to. The fear of thinking if we don’t work for someone else, money will be hard to come by is not true. I came to a new city with zero in my pockets. I got a job as a starter kit, but my intention was to do my own thing, I wanted to go after my own dream then go back to be a blessing. After many years, I still believe it’s still possible; however, if I’m still

attached to fear, nothing I see in my mind will be seen in my life. I have to let go of the unknown and just trust the God who gave me the vision. Notice I didn’t tell you my vision. Do you have a dream? Has God given you a vision? The key word is TRUST.

"Every great move forward in your life behgins with a leap of faith, a step into the unlnown." Brian Tracy 16

People can perform stretches anywhere and at any time. Doing so regularly may help increase flexibility and reduce the risk of injury. Historical evidence suggests that people have practiced stretching for thousands of years — especially warriors, who would stretch before a battle. Performing stretches regularly may help reduce stress and body pain, increase flexibility, and improve posture, alongside other benefits. In this article, we examine nine benefits of stretching. We also assess the risks of overstretching and provide tips for stretching safely and effectively. The 9 benefits Stretching may help improve mental and physical health and could be beneficial in the following ways: 1. Increases range of motion 2. Expands flexibility 3. Helps with back pain 4. Improves mood and focus 5. Improves physical performance 6. Relieves tension headaches 7. Increases blood flow 8. Relieves stress 9. Improves posture It may not always be safe for a person to stretch. A person should only stretch according to their doctor’s recommendations if they have: a chronic or long lasting injury, an existing or acute injury, a disability or condition that may prevent them from performing a stretch correctly and safely. Stretching has several health benefits, and it may help people perform better mentally and physically. source: https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/ articles/benefits-of-stretching#summary THE OTHER WOMAN

STRETCH

Stretch yourself beyond yourself

Not only does your body benefit greatly from physically stretching but your your mind will also benefit when you stretch yourself beyond your comfort zone - beyond your own way of thinking beyond your fears.

Are You Stuck? Monday / Wednesday / Friday Fb and YouTube LIVE Dr. Sandra G. Winborne aka Dr. Winnie https://www.facebook.com/sandragary.winbornephd "Our lives are marred with periodic points that take us down emotionally, physically, and psychologically. We are at our lowest! This period is called our nadir. NADIR the lowest point in the fortunes of a person or organization. - the lowest point - the all-time low - the lowest point - low water mark - bottom - as low as one can get - rock-bottom - the depths - the zero - the pits I used the following words for my nadir description. N - NEGATIVE - consisting of or characterized by the absence rather than the presence of distinguishing features. - pessimistic - bleak - gloomy - fatalistic - obstructive - unenthusiastic - cold A - ALL-Time Low - An all-time lowest level that has ever been: -rock bottom - the bottom - lowest level - record low D - DEPTHS - the distance from the top or surface to the bottom of something. - deepness - distance downward - distance inwards - distance from the outside - vertical drop - profundity I - INDIVIDUAL - tailored to suit a particular individual. single; separate. - single - separate - independent - sole - lone - solitary - isolated R - REAL - actually existing as a thing or occurring in fact; not imagined or supposed. - actual - nonfictional - existent - real - historical - historical - material - physical - tangible - concrete What words would you use to fill in when you experienced your nadir? N ________________ A ________________ D ________________ I ________________ R ________________

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Her Edition “Each new season grows from the leftovers from the past. That is the essence of change. It is the basic law.”- Hal Borland. I am telling myself It is okay to change. I am teaching myself it is okay to change. I am learning that it is okay to change. I have heard this phrase countless times. I have listened to the song, played it many times, and sung along. I thought about change while listening to one of my favorite podcasts, This/Morning Walk. A little background about this podcast: it was started by two fantastic writers, Alex Elle and Libby DeLana. Alex Elle is a Bestselling Author/writing coach, and DeLana is a Creative Director. I was first introduced to Alex Elle when I read her one of her books After the Rain. Reading that book led me to DeLana, and of course, I had to find her book, Do Walk-Navigate Earth, mind, and Body. Step by Step. These women are from different backgrounds, and they collaborated to create a space for others all about the morning walk, but not any walk, but a walk to transform yourself. Alex says, “It’s deeper than walking. It’s about slowing down, looking up, and finding clarity in your daily life. So, I will ask, when was the last time you walked to find clarity in life? When was the last time you walked in absolute silence? Were you able to settle with your thoughts? I listened to the episode Walking THE OTHER WOMAN

in Personal Power with Rhonda Ross (Season 2 Episode 7). Rhonda Ross is the daughter of Diana Ross and Motown Founder Berry Gordy. I learned that it is okay to change the narrative. I would have never thought these women would change my idea about a simple walk; it was a small but significant transformation. My walk is different now. A side note: When I think of the word change, I think of the seasons and how the leaves change their colors. That is a form of bravery, the ability to change the narrative without knowing the outcome. The way leaves change from green to red, brown, orange, and yellow. Trees demonstrate so much change and patience. Trees slow down and take their time in changing. I know they feel pressure to change from one season to the next, but they do it. As I reflect, my leaves have changed; some have turned back to their beautiful green color as before, and some have never returned to the same color. It took me a long time to reach this point, and I am still a work in progress. It is okay to change.

KIOKA TUCK Miss T’s Book Room https://www.misstsbookroom.com

About Miss T’s Book Room Miss T’s Book Room is a non-profit that started as an informative blog about books in 2015. Our mission is to distribute diverse books and art supplies to young people in surrounding communities. It was started because of the lack of diverse books in local libraries, bookstores, schools, and homes. We also provide education about the importance of quality, diverse literature, reading, and creativity.

Books: After the Rain: Gentle Reminders for Healing Courage, and Self-Love by Alexandra Elle Do Walk-Navigate Earth, mind, and Body. Step by Step. By Libby DeLana Podcast: This/Morning Walk with Alex Elle and Libby Delana

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How To Embrace Your FEMININITY

ccepting yourself as a woman can be difficult for most modern women. It is nearly impossible to embrace femininity without the realization of your own feminine nature. The modern world requires women to be equal with men not on a basic human rights level, but also professionally. And it can be hard. It can be hard for women because the main mission of a woman’s life is motherhood and care of loved ones, and it is being lost now. The whole being of a woman is built to do these things perfectly and often even effortlessly. It is in our DNA, however, we are all shaped differently due to upbringing, families we grew up, what we were taught in schools and what people surrounded us. Many women who found success in careers start thinking about why they have this feeling of unhappiness, lack of satisfaction, even though they are successful. For most, if not all, modern successful women to accept their femininity is equal to accepting their weakness. However, no matter how hard we try to suppress our feminine essence, we still remain women: emotional, sensitive, and caring. Before we talk about a few simple steps we can take to embrace our feminine side, what could be the real reasons we are having such a hard time doing it? + Conflicts and fights in the family where a girl grew up. + During the process of upbringing a girl decides it is easier to be a boy because maybe her brother received more love, or her mother and women around her were single and were THE OTHER WOMAN

always complaining about how hard it was to be a woman. + Focusing more on developing logic and linear thinking in classes at school without paying enough attention to the creative side of things. Participation in various contests and competitions, aiming to reach certain goals and have an external success – all of these are very masculine activities. + Disharmonious sexual life, sexual traumas especially at the beginning. + Incorrect attitude towards normal and natural female physiological processes, like menstruation, pregnancy, breastfeeding, and as a result fear of it and a desire to escape it. + Abortions. + “Masculine” type of job and career or business. + Negative attitude towards men that has started due to disrespect, fear, violence, or suppression. + Non-realization of your creative potential. + The lack of self-love. This is the most important piece that originates from the lack of tenderness and love in childhood. As you can imagine, most of us have one or a few things from this list. And unfortunately, it is a normal part of life. What is important is that we are now starting to learn about femininity more and more. It is up to us to step into this deeper and see how different our lives can be when we embrace this part of ourselves. A woman who is unhappy as a woman, the one who does all of the things herself, is in constant internal tension. This is why gynecological diseases happen, early climaxes start, depression and apathy grow. And we should not just let it happen.

We need to heal our inner girl, inner woman, so that she stops being sad and scared, but learn you accept her beautiful self instead. Once your happiness happens inside of you, internally, on the level of sensations, this is when the outside expression of this love appears – in the form of the passionate hobby, self-realization, or a man of your dreams. Steps To Embrace Femininity 1. Stop being scared of your own feelings and emotions. You are a WOMAN. Let yourself express and say everything that you feel. If it is not possible at work, understandably, do it as often as possible at home. Remember that you are either a girlfriend, a wife, or a mother, so speaking in a controlling tone probably won’t be perceived as good. Men really want to go away when this happens because they feel the man in you. And they want a woman, not another man. 2. Let others help you. Seriously. You don’t have to be strong and independent everywhere. Let your husband make decisions, and your son do the laundry. If you think you are a strong person, it does not necessarily mean you have to do everything yourself. The power of a woman is in her flexibility and even fragility. And it is also in learning how to perceive the outside world with love. 3. Try to truly take care of others. Even if you don’t have a family of your own, you can take care of your parents, siblings, or other relatives. When you build relationships with your coworkers, be a woman sometimes – soft with a charming smile. Don’t be afraid that someone will think you are weak and unable to make your own decisions. A woman’s fragility is an important element in a psychological organization of a woman. If we suppress it, we do not become strong. We only continue to try to be like men, competing with them which eventually destroys us and won’t help us to embrace femininity. It is never too late to start changing. source: https://www.thesublimewoman.com/ how-to-embrace-your-femininity/ 21

MzUNDASTOOD Gossiping For Good

Born, raised, and educated in Jacksonville, Fl. I joined the military after graduation and settled in Pensacola, Florida following my discharge. I then successfully raised three children. My comedy is born from real life events and everyday experiences, but mainly it’s just my coping mechanism for life. Follow MzUndastood on Fb https://www.facebook.com/ugigglewitme

But, we usually preface that type of information with ‘let me tell you the good news.’ Or ‘let me tell you what God did for a particular person. In both situations, positive or negative news, one can agree that gossip is usually news that in no way benefits the listener.

he word gossip is synonymous with being a busybody. Some refer to gossip as being ‘in other people's business but in most cases, it’s simply considered to be nosy. Now I do realize that for the most part, the word gossip has a very negative connotation associated with it, and frankly, it’s unfair, even biased one might say. I mean exactly what does it mean to gossip? Well, simply put, it means to share news or information (sometimes with unconfirmed details) about an individual or group that the news does not affect or benefit in any way. To be clear, gossip is not always bad information, it can also be news of a graduation, pregnancy, new job, marriage, or even a lottery win.

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her, TMZ and the likes have viable platforms for giving out the raw dirt on Hollywood’s golden ones. She would get into all types of trouble with celebrities for publicizing their off-screen lives. I knew details about Frank Sinatra, Ryan O’Neal, Sammy Davis Jr., and a host of other celebrities that no child should know, Most times it’s just conversational but I did, and it made the celebrities banter about a common subject so much more interesting to me. It or acquaintance between close wasn’t like gossip wasn't already friends, but it definitely has ingrained in our daily lives. Some earned its rightful place in the of us were exposed to it by fence conversation lane of just being or laundry line gossip while others messy. Let’s be honest, we’ve been caught all the good gossip hot off the enjoying gossip forever. I mean The telephone. Now we have social media National Enquirer was first printed and we literally have 24/7 access to in 1926 and if you’ve ever stood in information about everyone. line at the grocery store you caught the latest celebrity gossip whilst Not to mention television is now checking out your bread and eggs. basically one big intrusion into But me, I blame Rona Barrett. She the lives of others with the insane was the original nose for news. number of reality shows. I wonder She started with GMA in 1975 if the lawyer who helped defend OJ and she made sure that early would’ve ever agreed to the lifestyle morning celebrity gossip became his family has now; who knows, a staple of the morning in most maybe he would’ve led the charge. households. This means I grew up Let’s get together over coffee and on celebrity gossip and thanks to gossip about it.

The Backside Of Motherhood... It All Works Out in The End https://thebacksideofmotherhood.wordpress.com may be a little sorry. But what am I going to do about it now?

can recall driving my frustrated child to middle school with the windows down, belting out my heartfelt apology for being a perky morning person. “I’m sorry I can’t be perfect…”I crooned along with the whiney dude on the radio. Sure, perhaps I was being a little dramatic and condescending, but I hoped my attempt to hit the high notesin my high nasal tone would at least elicit a smile. Instead, I got a slammed door, slouchy shoulders, and a saturnine shuffle as I hollered after them, “I’m sorry! I love you!” I wasn’t really sorry then, to be honest, but I did love them an awful lot. In a stunning twist of irony, I realize now that my frequent public humiliation of my children may be something they should discuss with a therapist – and for that, I

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When I look back over the massive expanse of my backside (of motherhood), I realize that often my ego was writing checks that my parenting abilities could not cash. Even though I remind myself that I always did what I thought was right at the time, there are moments throughout my mothering journey that make me cringe when viewed from my post-parenting perspective. Words I wish I could take back, different choices I could have made … If only I’d signed up for those singing lessons! People often ask me – telepathically – for parenting advice, and I am always glad to oblige. (Of course, I add the caveat that free advice is always worth what you paid for it because that’s what my Mom always says to me.) If I could give my kids one piece of advice about having kids of their own, it would be, “Don’t have kids!” No, no, that’s not it, Dear Reader. What I would say is that you’re never going to be a perfect parent. That’s a lot of pressure to put on yourself – and for what? Because by the time you get to be my age, the rules will all change again and your stellar parenting will be what your kids discuss in therapy. See, I intentionally set the bar so low, guys, so that you wouldn’t feel so bad about your own parenting failures when they come along. That’s the thoughtful kind of mother I am.

Still, it’s hard to be put on the spot at family dinners with their list of “Ways My Mother Ruined Me.” What they call “trauma” was just me watching out for their future – all while bearing the burden to ensure that they were musically well-rounded. I was responsible, too. I always turned down Alanis after she’d bugged you in the middle of dinner and fast-forwarded as soon as I heard Buffet appreciate “the fact you’re … sittin’ here …” And who can forget my tiny toddler singing along to “Killer Queen” in the back seat of the Mombus? Now THAT’s some high-quality parenting right there – guaranteed to blow your mind. Whether you’re just beginning your motherhood journey or wondering what the hell just happened to the last 35 years, we all just do the best we can. No matter how much you try to be the perfect parent, you may still get a kid who doesn’t even LIKE Duran Duran…and that’s okay. Of course, The Other Woman reminds me that no apologies are necessary here on the Backside of Motherhood. In that case, “Baby, I’m sorry (I’m not sor-reeey!)”

Lara McKnight is a freelance writer who lives in Pensacola, FL. She and her husband have four adult children (and their companions) and four grandchildren. Lack of vocal talent does not stop her from singing along with The Other Woman.

GRAND Memories BRITTANY LEIGH DAVIS

he hardest thing I have had to do growing up is watching my grandparents age. It isn’t fun having to watch them grow older and start having health issues; It really does break your heart. Please spend as much time with your grandparents while they’re able to spend time with you. Do not wait until they get too old and tired to tell them how much you really love them. I am so blessed and thankful that I have had two wonderful sets of grandparents who were always there for me and always wanted to spend time with me. My mother’s side of the family lived a little further away than my dad’s side, but we still found time to spend together and do things with each other. I cherish memories made with MawMaw and PawPaw (mom’s side) and Nana and BooBoo (father’s side) One of my favorite memories was going to Tannehill Historical State Park for Halloween with my grandparents, aunts, uncles, and

THE OTHER WOMAN

cousins on my mom’s side. We would all go together in my grandparent’s motor home and spend a few days there and do some trick-or-treating. We all had a blast dressing up in our Halloween costumes and running from RV to RV getting treats. When I was a teenager, I would help my MawMaw with her craft shows. She used to make shirts and sell them in her booth at different craft shows around the southeast part of the United States. I would travel with her during the summer months and help her set up and work the cash register for her. The biggest thing I remember about those times was my MawMaw always wanted something good to eat. She never worried about the price, just as long as it tasted good and the fries were hot! One of my favorite and most funny memories I have so far with my MawMaw is that at every holiday celebration, there is a dish she named Vivian Salad. Although my mom and some of my aunts have tasted it, but my dad is the only one who eats it. There is always only one scoop missing from this mysterious salad that is served every year in a glass bowl and shakes like jello. It’s pink and looks like diced green bell peppers may be in it. We all ask what’s in it and how she makes it but it remains a mystery. Who is Vivian and why do you still make this? The biggest thing I remember

about PawPaw was he used to be so sick. He was always at Tannehill with us when we were young, but in my teenage years, I remember going to the hospital to see him. In his later years, MawMaw stayed home and cared for him until he passed. MawMaw is a strong woman and loved PawPaw very much; she would have done anything for him. PawPaw never said too much but he was always so loving and kind to everyone and everyone loved PawPaw. I wish I had more memories with him, but time goes by too fast. Nana and BooBoo, my grandparents on my dad’s side, only lived about ten minutes from us, so we got to see them every day and spend more time with them. Nana thought I could do no wrong and would tell me how bad my dad was growing up, so he better not get on to us for being bad. She would say there was nothing we could do that was nearly as bad as what my dad and my uncles did growing up. Nana and BooBoo catered to our every need. We never wanted for anything. All we had to do was ask Nana and we received it! Nana was an angel on Earth. She loved everyone with all her heart, and everyone loved her back. My best memories with Nana are going to her house on Tuesdays (sale days at the Stockyard where BooBoo worked). Nana would let me help her make BooBoo’s favorite cookies so he would have some when he got home. We would make cookies in the morning then go to Burger King to get lunch. Another

memory is when Nana and BooBoo would take us fishing at their ponds and that gave us time to talk about everything going on in our life. Every Christmas, Nana was sure to make her famous hashbrown casserole because it was my favorite. In the later years of her life when she couldn’t handle hosting Christmas at her house and doing all the cooking she used to do, she would always show up with a hashbrown casserole. We would get on to her because we didn’t want her wearing herself out, but she would always say “Well, that’s Brittany’s favorite so I had to bring it.” there was never a Christmas without the famous hashbrown casserole. She loved each one of her grandchildren so much and there was notthing that would get in the way of her doing whatever she wanted for us. We recently lost my Nana to cancer. Her passing brought up a lot of memories I had with her and BooBoo. It has opened my eyes to how much time I may have left with MawMaw and BooBoo. I don’t know if I was aware of things like this when PawPaw passed, I was younger and don’t think I realized the value of spending time with loved ones. Trust me, when time is gone, it’s gone and it hurts like hell. It leaves you wishing you would have done some things differently or driven the few extra miles to visit when you had the chance. I know longer think, “Well, I will see them next month, but I realize I may not have a tomorrow because tomorrow is not promised. I love you so much Nana and I know that you will always be in my heart and by my side looking down on me from Heaven. I love you PawPaw, you were such a kind soul and only did good in this world and I know you and my Nana are looking out for me together as a team. To my MawMaw and BooBoo, I love you both so much. You both have gone through the worst thing you could possibly imagine, losing a spouse, your best friend and still having to carry on without them. To Cecil, thank you for finding my MawMaw and showing her love again and treating her with kindness and respect. Thank you also for coming into our family and treating us like one of your own. You have been so great to all of MawMaw’s daughters, grandbabies, and great grandchildren.

Keeping Grandparents Mentally & Physically

Stimulated

There are many activities that grandparents can do to stay active and mentally stimulated. Some examples include: - Playing games such as chess, crosswords, or card games. - Reading books or newspapers. - Gardening or doing other outdoor activities. - Taking classes or learning a new skill, such as a language or com puter program. - Joining a club or group that shares a common interest, such as a book club or photography group. - Traveling and exploring new places. - Spending time with family and friends. - Volunteering in the community. - Staying physically active through exercise, such as walking, swim ming, or yoga. - Keeping a journal or writing a blog or letter to family or friends. - Find something that the grandparent is interested in and that fits with their physical abilities. source : https://www.quora.com/What-are-some-good-activitiesfor-grandparents-to-keep-them-active-and-mentally-stimulated

Love one another while you can and never leave without telling them how you feel about them and tell them everyday that you love them.

THE OTHER WOMAN

Not Fearing Hell Was A Game Changer How Leaving the Christian Faith Changed My Life Part IV

SANDRA WINN

ithout the fear of hell plaguing my mind, reading the Bible became much easier. However, I still believed in God and Christ, I just didn’t trust Christian leaders anymore. I didn’t know that eventually I wouldn’t believe anymore. Continuing to study the Bible, I started recognizing more and more contradictions–all easily explained away by apologists for all the Christian sects. “Not one jot or tittle of the law shall pass” is a passage attributed to Jesus regarding the Old Testament laws. He also mentions “till heaven and earth shall pass.” Often, some apologists stick to the word “fulfilled” in the passage and claim Jesus fulfilled the old testament laws and that’s why they don’t require adherence. Bologna! They purposely cherry pick that passage to make it seem that way, but since earth and the universe (heaven) are still very much here, it means the law is still in effect.

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Once I took that passage as is, I was no longer confused by the scriptures reading “Saved by grace” or “Faith without works is dead.” Jesus condemned the Pharisees for greed, not because they were obeying laws and requiring others to do the same. Regardless, due to my mind being free of the fear of hell, the not so kind scriptures stood out like a big,

punishing flood created by himself. Why? All those children and people drowned to once again bend people to his almighty will. I no longer saw an all-loving God, I saw a narcissistic, psychopathic tyrant who had jealous fits of rage who required his believers to behave better than he did.

"Did I love God because he personally showed me love, or was my love due to fearing his wrath?" whopping, black and blue thumb. I re-read the Book of Job. I couldn’t get past God’s cruelty. Satan didn’t wreak havoc on Job, he did it because he made a bet with God. Satan required permission from God! God allowed Job’s life to be destroyed to prove a point that Job would still be faithful. Why wouldn’t he be, after all? He truly believed in God, God’s laws, and God’s threats. God also allowed children to be mauled by bears and drown in a

Battered Woman’s syndrome and Stockholm syndrome both came to mind. Did I love God because he personally showed me love, or was my love due to fearing his wrath? It was fear, period. The same fear that keeps an abused woman from leaving her boyfriend or husband. The same fear that causes a kidnapped person to love and do things for the one or those who took them against their will.

Sadly, those abused by partners tend to make excuses for unjustifiable bad behavior. Instead of blaming the abuser, they blame themselves. They think they’re not worthy of love, or the abuse was justified due to something that was their fault. Did I stop believing at this point? No, but the final straw was about to happen. Once it did, my whole life changed.

Don't Die With A Book In You!

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Need help getting the words out of your head and on paper? Candy Publishing can help! 850.725.4894 THE OTHER WOMAN

“It’s all about falling in love with yourself and sharing that love with someone who appreciates you, rather than looking for love to compensate for a self love deficit.” Eartha Kitt THE OTHER WOMAN

Love And Online Dating It Worked For Me! Alexandra Adou REPRINT

he challenge of online dating was an endeavor that had me straddling a fence a few years before I decided to venture into new waters. Online dating always came across as inherently impersonal, decidedly risky, and honestly quite desperate. As I matured and evolved, I became more self-aware and confident as a woman. Online dating became a means to view alternative dating. It allowed me to somewhat determine who I attracted to me and the type to whom I was attracted. I began online dating by initially joining a couple of dating sites. It became almost a full-time job reviewing and assessing individual profiles, weeding out the crazies, talking to the possibilities, and then making further cuts until I was left with two or three gentlemen who appeared promising, and could hold my attention and interest. I initially communicated with these gentlemen via the online dating protocol. When I felt sufficiently comfortable, we exchanged phone numbers and began speaking with each other via telephone for a few weeks. As I felt more comfortable, I would arrange a coffee meet-up. If things didn’t go well there was a quick and easy get-away. If there was a gentleman, I was interested in THE OTHER WOMAN

seeing again, I would agree to another public date that led to an extended conversation that would allow us to get to know each other better. If this date went well and I wanted to see him again then I would request a security background check from one of the many online services to learn more personal information and discover if there was a criminal record.

dating site called Atlanta Matchmaking and requested a consultation. After explaining their policies and process to me I decided to join the club and paid their very expensive membership fee. After securing access to the private members-only database, I responded to three requests that interested me. Since everyone in the database had already been highly vetted, I began phone conversations with the three gentlemen right away for about a month before arranging a coffee meet-up with them.

"One gentleman displayed a truly beautiful spirit and really opened his heart to me more than the others." I maintained this routine for about three years with several companies such as Christian Mingle, Zoosk, Elite Singles, Match, eHarmony, Ourtime, and several other nowdefunct sites without much success. Sadly, I often met men who were not seeking a long-term commitment or scammers. However, one day during an Internet search, I found this local

The meet-ups went very well and were followed up with additional platonic dates over the next eight weeks. During this period, I was actively assessing which of these men I wanted to date, exclusively. One gentleman displayed a truly beautiful spirit and really opened his heart to me more than the others. I decided to focus all my attention on this one special man. I wanted to get to know him better. Our relationship steadily grew into a healthy connection and respect for each other. Within a year, we fell in love and ’Jumped the Broom.’ After traveling all over the world as an armed service member, meeting people from all walks of life, I was pleasantly surprised to find my God Mate here in the city where I currently lived. I’m still happily married seven years later.

LOVE BEYOND THE SWIPE

A Modern Romance Born From Connection

a chance encounter; it's an inspiring testament to seizing the opportunities that arise, embracing the unknown, and letting fate weave its magical tapestry.

n a world where swipes dictate connections, Collin and Ricki found their love story on the unconventional path of a dating app. Fate had its hand in their union, starting with a mere match on the BLK dating app. Despite the initial silence, destiny had more in store for them.

Their future is a canvas waiting to be painted, and with unwavering love as their guiding brushstroke, Collin and Ricki stand poised to conquer the world together.

Collin, taking a leap of faith, reached out to Ricki through Instagram with a simple inquiry about her day. Little did they know, this casual gesture would spiral into an amazing conversation that sparked a connection like no other. With Ricki already settled in Atlanta and Collin freshly arriving in the city, their newfound connection blossomed into something special. Ricki graciously offered to introduce Collin to the city she called home, bridging the gap between their digital rapport and the real world. Their first conversation via text was the gateway to their enchanting first meeting at the upscale bar and grill, Blue Martini, in the heart of Atlanta. The chemistry was undeniable, as if they had known each other for a lifetime, unlocking a door to a series of unforgettable dates. From hiking to camping, from intimate dinners to welcoming a furry companion named Chiro THE OTHER WOMAN

Their story is a beacon of hope, reminding us that amidst a sea of profiles and swipes, there exists the possibility of finding a soulful connection that transcends the virtual world—a love story that truly inspires.

into their lives, their bond deepened with every shared moment. Minutes seamlessly transitioned into hours, days turned into cherished memories, and soon, their lives intertwined, propelling them towards marriage, cohabitation, and a joint venture— the birth of Sewell Nation, a flourishing YouTube channel that encapsulates their shared journey. Their story is a testament to the power of genuine connections, transcending the digital realm to create a life filled with love, adventures, and shared dreams. Collin and Ricki's love story isn’t just

Follow THE SEWELLS on YouTube and subscribe to their channel as this Jamaican husband and American wife join their lives and cultures together and aim to share their thoughts, life, and craziness!

https://www.youtube.com/@Ricki_andCollin

Kerry Varner Photography THE OTHER WOMAN

Still Looking

Lost In Love

D. DALE

B. THOMAS

am a 45-year-old single woman. I've had my share of relationships, but I don't think I've ever been in love. I won't say true love, just love. I consider myself a decent-looking woman. I'm loving and kind and for some strange reason, I think that's my problem. The men I've been involved with obviously don't know what to do with a loving and kind woman who wants nothing except to give love and be loved! It's simple to me, but at 45, I wonder if my thoughts are shared or am I just just stuck in my head. I have hope that I'll meet someone soon while I'm still interested in sharing myself and able to walk on my own and dance like no one is watching. I've read about people finding love well into their fifties, sixties, and even seventies, and that gives me hope but I'd also like to enjoy the physical pleasures of life before I get too much older. Sex is not the most important thing, but I want to know what physical intimacy feels like while in love with someone who loves me back. I don't want to just go through the motions anymore. I've been told I was loved before and here I am...single. I'm not saying I was lied to, but what happened? They say love has a mind of its own, so maybe I'll just keep waiting for love to find me - or not. Everybody wants to find love, but not everyone will find love in their lifetime. I'm okay with being alone for the rest of my life. Well, not really but if it happens what choice do I have? The best thing is to just enjoy my life and love myself first. Not always easy, but it's doable.

love being in love and I'm in love right now. What's the problem? I lost myself. I think I'm somewhere buried in my giving spirit and nurturing heart. I'm hating my emotions right now because they don't allow me to think with a level head. I'm sure my significant other is loving being the recipient of my love but I think about him before I think of myself. To be completely honest, there is no me. I talk about him, dream about him, wonder what he's doing when we're apart and when we are apart, I anxiously await to be in his presence. He's a great guy and easy to love. We've been a couple for about six months now and I know that's pretty early to feel the way I do, but when I love someone I go all in. I probably go too deep and before I know it, I'm drowning. I think I'm drowning right now, but it feels so good. I love hard with no regrets, but I'm wondering if I'm missing my own life since I've made my partner my life. If he calls, I answer. I've even canceled plans to be with him. My friends have mentioned they don't see me as often I love being with my significant other. I'm 25 and I've never been happier. He loves me back and I feel it, but he definitely has a much busier life outside of us. I usually give with nothing reciprocated, but this time it's different. It just feels right. My close friends always tell me I need a life of my own but this is my life! I'm happy! I'm living for today and I'll worry about tomorrow on tomorrow. Not everyone is lucky enough to experience love, so I'm basking in the beauty of love and enjoying my boo regardless of what anyone says or thinks.

"There is no remedy for love but to love more." THE OTHER WOMAN

Henry David Thoreau

REFLECTION CONFESSION

t doesn't matter how many times I'm told I'm attractive or pretty, I've never felt like I was attractive at all. Since I was a little girl, I've always gotten compliments from adults telling me what a cute little girl I was. In my teenage years, I did some modeling for a local department store and they encouraged me to begin a modeling portfolio. Never in a million years would I waste my time gathering pictures of myself. It would have all been in vain.

S. HARRISON

As a young adult in college, I was on the homecoming court and no matter where I went men turned their heads, spoke to me, smiled, or some other gesture. I know looks aren't everything, but how I feel about how I look plays a big part in how I feel about myself. I appreciate this magazine for reminding me of my worth, but nothing I read or hear has helped change my mind about how I feel. It's sad, I know but it is what it is. I wish I had a magic wand to make my thoughts disappear or a crystal ball to figure out what happened in my past to make me feel this way. The only time I feel pretty is when I put on my false eyelashes, makeup, and wear a wig which allows me the freedom to look the way I want to look. Women get a lot of flack from men and women about artificial anything, but I believe I'm being artificial if I act like I'm happy in my skin when I'm not. I can't possibly be alone with the way I feel because so many women use makeup, lashes, nails, and even clothes to make themselves more attractive. I'm not saying they all think they are unattractive, but there is a reason we cover our faces. To look more attractive or to feel better about ourselves. It really doesn't matter what anyone else thinks because we all have to live in our own skin. THE OTHER WOMAN

The Healing Practice Of Confession

hen my mother was dying of cancer, I became acutely aware of the gaps and barriers in our relationship. One night, lost in a turbulent sea of emotion, I sat down at the dining room table and started to write. I wrote -- almost automatically -- for about an hour. In a letter, I poured out my regrets, my feelings of sorrow, and my desires for the relationship I had hoped we would have. Along the way, I visited and revealed places in my own psyche that had been frozen by years of ingrained patterns. When I was finished, my head was still whirling, but I noticed that a small space had opened. I had more "breathing room," and I believe that space helped me be more present to appreciate the brief time I had left with my mother. While I would not have called it so at the time, my letter was a confession. For many people, the term "confession" conjures images of a dark wooden booth and whispering one's sins to a priest through a screen. However, confession is really just an expression of remorse about the past and hope for the future -- the process of telling our story. Nobel prize-winning author Toni Morrison has remarked on the importance of narrative, observing that, "it is words that enable us to make some sense of our existence by allowing us to stand aside and narrate it." Regardless of our particular religious or spiritual beliefs, don't we all have personal stories of failure THE OTHER WOMAN

and redemption? As a psychologist, I have studied practices of confession for the last seven years and have learned that these practices are found across diverse times and cultures. In fact, noting the widespread nature of confession, scholars have observed that there is a human "compulsion to confess." What my colleagues and I have discovered is that this compulsion is profoundly healing physically, psychologically, and spiritually. "Opening Up" Is Good for Your Health About 20 years ago, James Pennebaker, professor of psychology at the University of Texas at Austin, began a series of studies that scientifically examined the effects of disclosing personal thoughts and feelings. Participants were randomly assigned to either: (a) talk or write about a difficult, traumatic, or upsetting event (disclosure); or (b) write or talk about a trivial topic (a comparison control group). While the disclosure process produced immediate feelings of distress, participants who engaged in this process experienced a number of benefits over time, including improved mood, reduced symptoms of psychological distress, fewer illnesses, and even improved immune functioning. Furthermore, Pennebaker and others found that the health effect is greater when people are less inhibited, disclose more deeply, and when their disclosure helps them form new meaning or insight on their experience. This research focused on what happens when people "open up" about things they have been holding inside, but it did not look specifically at spiritual or religious confession. To the spiritual mind, confession takes

on an added significance, since the story that is told is ultimately concerned with reconnection to the sacred. Spiritual traditions, through sacred rituals, view confession as a process of returning to God or to transcendent spiritual values that have been neglected when our words, thoughts, or deeds have gone astray. Spiritual Confession in the Lab In an attempt to understand spiritual confession from a scientific perspective, I began working with Kenneth Pargament, professor of psychology at Bowling Green University, to design an experiment focused on writing as a form of spiritual confession. We wanted to compare the effects of a spiritual confession, a non-spiritual confession, and a placebo condition. In this study, 45 participants were randomly assigned to complete one of three activities: spiritual confession (writing a letter to God), secular confession (writing a letter about regrets), and a control writing condition. Participants also completed assessments of their moods, feelings of guilt, psychological symptoms, and spiritual well-being immediately before writing, immediately after writing, and then two weeks later. Those in the spiritual and secular confession groups tended to write about important, meaningful, and deeply emotional topics such as guilt about having an abortion, regrets about relationship conflicts, and religious struggles. It was humbling to read these expressions of the human heart. source: https://www.spiritualityhealth. com/articles/2012/01/28/healingpractice-confession

By AARON MURRAY-SWANK 34

"Confession of errors is like a broom which sweeps away the dirt and leaves the surface brighter and clearer. I feel stronger for confession." Mahatma Ghandi THE OTHER WOMAN

Regrets From An Older Woman K. STOKES

made up my mind to submit this article after doing a little reflection on my own life. I hope that younger women will read this and allow it to take root in their spirit. The Other Woman magazine is great at reminding us to live our one life unapologetically without regrets. Unfortunately, I have many regrets.

What you allow is what will continue is a phrase we've all heard and from experience, it's true. In my younger years, I allowed so much mess in

At 72 years young, I still have a lot of life bubbling in me. I feel good and if I have to say so myself, I look good. I've had my share of health hiccups and thank God I've got a portion of my health to still live a vibrant life. I've allowed some things to happen in my marriage, on my job, with my children, and within myself due to my inability to use my voice, believe in myself, or because I allowed someone else to push their opinions on decisions I had to make for my life. If you're reading this, please make your own choices in life. Do what you think is best for you. Yes, it's always good to have someone in your corner to bounce things off of and hear something other than what's in your head, but be careful who you choose. If that person has your best interest at heart and will tell you what you need to hear instead of what you want to hear, you probably chose the right person. THE OTHER WOMAN

I didn't enforce my boundaries and I was a people pleaser. People are okay with you as long as they have their way with you. Put yourself first and watch what happens. I was called selfish, inconsiderate, and lacking compassion only because I made myself a priority. For most of my adult life, I put the needs of others before my own. Of course, as a wife and mother that's what we do, Once I had an empty nest, I should have realized it was time for me. When I turned 70, I realized that over half of my life was over. I wasn't happy. so I made some radical changes. I felt like I missed out on so much, but I had no one to blame except myself. Rebirth was the only word that came to mind. It's never too late for newness, for enlightenment, for another rebirth. I've had several rebirth experiences and for as long as I live, I'll welcome them. I will continue to evolve until the day I take my last breath.

every area of my life. I spent too many years upset with my husband, adult children, co-workers, supervisors, and even friends and family. The only person I should have been upset with is myself.

I didn't unleash the other woman in me until I was well into my sixties. I felt like I had a new lease on life! My husband thought I had lost my mind, but I assured him I was simply a better version of myself. I'm so happy I didn't choose to remain stagnant and unhappy. I walk more which has definitely helped my mental well-being and helps me to focus on what I can do instead of what I didn't do. I've already wasted too much time living frustrated. NO MORE! When I feel better, I think better. Younger ladies, LIVE YOUR LIFE without regrets.

REAL LIFE VS SOCIAL MEDIA SYDI SIMMONS

Nobody’s perfect. From the outside looking in, people can seem like they live perfect lives by posting their fancy cars and designer clothes but that’s because that’s the only thing they want you to see. It’s a norm for people to not want to share the not so=best version of themselves with others - especially strangers. This is why when it comes to social media you mostly just see people at their peak. Even though those same people could be struggling trying to pay student loans, bills, and next month's rent. Sometimes it can be easy to get caught up in social media and seeing everyone posting themselves only at their best can make one have doubts about themselves especially when things aren’t going right for them. I’m here to say that everyone has secrets and things that they are not proud of at the end of the day and what you see on social media isn’t all that it is cracked up to be. Just because someone has a nice car, is wearing designer from head to toe, and looks like they have it made doesn’t mean that they do and those things aren’t a necessity for someone to have in order to be considered special. Everyone is special in their own way and it’s our differences that make us unique and beautiful. THE OTHER WOMAN

Live With Me... Just As I Am ROSIE L SHEDRICK

icely Tyson's New York Best Seller, Just As I Am, reminds me of the popular hymn, Just As I Am Without One Plea. The bottom line is that you have the right to be yourself without false acts or sending your representative instead of your true self. There is nothing more freeing than a safe space to be you. Of course, we want to put our best foot forward when we meet someone, but be sure your best is your best not someone else's best. No two people grow up the same way. Whether we meet a stranger on the street, take on a roommate, or fall in love, we won't have the same upbringing or background. We will have our own likes, dislikes, funny ways and what might be considered irritating ways to another person. others. Living with another person has its consequences. You don't know anything about that person or their personality, but at the same time, you think you know them. A living space offers room to be comfortable - it's home and home is a place you can let your hair down. You have the freedom to feel, act, and react the way you want to. The baggage you bring home will eventually have to be unpacked and we all have baggage. What baggage are you carrying? We all have something. The real you is guaranteed to come out no longer how long you wait to unpack. Respect is first in any relationship. Respect will go a long way and sets the tone for understanding, trust, and communication. Above all, be honest. Life is a path and we learn as we go. Nobody knows everything, so don't be so quick to judge. Love hard and pray harder!

THE OTHER WOMAN

Menopause FINALLY! KAREN JAMES

Survivor of Heavy Periods

here are no good memories of my monthly period - none. Cramps, heaving, vomiting, and of course messing up my clothes several times a day with a week-long cycle. I dealt with my ungodly, extremely heavy period for forty-plus years. I was so happy to finally enter my season of menopause. I remember being in high school and watching the cheerleaders jump, run, flip, and kick their legs up in the air at every basketball and football game. I wondered if they ever had a period! I missed so many school functions because I was at home bleeding myself to what seemed like death. As I grew older, the heavy bleeding didn't cease. It became a part of my life and I knew with each new month, it was all about getting through an extremely difficult seven days without missing too much of life. I became desperate and was tired of the painful periods. I didn't have fibroids nor was I diagnosed with anything, so I tried the Endometrial ablation and the Depo-Provera shot and my fierce bleeding flowed through both procedures. It wasn't until I was close to entering my golden years that I realized my diet was a major part of my cycle. In my forties, I made a few lifestyle changes that made a difference in my health which influenced my cycle. I wish I had known about eating healthier earlier in life because maybe I would have enjoyed my high school and young adult years more. Maybe half of my life wouldn't have been run by the calendar. If you're a mother of a young girl or woman, know one, or maybe you're a young lady reading this, please know you do not have to endure a painful period or a heavy flow each month. I'm hesitant to recommend anything because everyone's body is different, but there is one thing we all have in common and that is the impact healthy eating and exercise has on the body. Menopause has been wonderful. Being able to do what I want when I want is like having a whole new life! I hear women complaining about hot flashes but I've only had a few. I did my time of being uncomfortable. I've earned this season of freedom after all that bleeding! THE OTHER WOMAN

Blessed Women and flowers She personates with flowers and flowers with her Growing in the blessings of God They are charisma They are the star A statement and works of art They share the name of... masterpiece Deborah Shedrick

SHEDRICK STUDIO

https://www.facebook.com/shedrickstudio THE OTHER WOMAN

Is That A Vagina? Contrary to what you may have been thinking about the image on our cover, it's not a vagina. It’s an image of the inside of a rose. The rose is one of the world’s most popular flowers. Its unique beauty and distinct scent invites smiles, warms hearts, and helps deliver an endless variety of messages without a word spoken. Similar to a woman, roses come in an array of colors, shapes, and forms – rose bushes, shrub roses, blush roses, climbing roses, miniature roses, and the list goes on and on. There is another remarkable similarity flowers, not just roses, have with a woman which is the reproductive organ, the ovary. Yes, flowers have an ovary! These similarities explain the vagina looking image on our cover title. The flower's ovary is the hollow cavity containing ovules which is the structure containing the egg cells. You'll never look at a rose the same way, and as a matter of fact, you may even look at one a little closer, a little deeper That's not all. The petals on a rose are modified leaves with a purpose of attracting pollinators like birds and bees. Women aren't the only ones using our assets to attract. So, while you were thinking we were a little too edgy with our delivery, we were merely dropping a little knowledge on you.

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Peace, Love & Light

SerenityZFlow Yoga

odneisha Jones is YogaRo, a native of Pensacola, Florida. She has been doing yoga since August of 2021. Her passion for yoga became beyond her dreams when her late mother, Zina, became her biggest fan, pushing her to be the best. YogaRo is the mother of two handsome boys (Christian and Cameron), and they give her all the strength she needs for her journey. YogaRo started watching yoga on YouTube and Instagram and became intrigued by what the trainers were doing and how it brought her calm and peaceful energy. One day, she went into her backyard and began doing yoga poses and meditating, not knowing she would fall in love with the power and poses that made her mind, body, and soul feel relaxed and free.

http://www.serenityzflowyogaro.com YogaRo challenges herself and others to use yoga to release from mental health issues. YogaRo wants to prove to society that yoga helps with the proper practice, training, personal teaching, and having faith in God to address mental health issues. That is precisely how YogaRo got through many of her provocations in life. After losing her mother in 2020 to mental health and a broken spirit, her son, Christian, in 2021 was diagnosed with leukemia. Also, in the same year, she lost both of her older brothers. YogaRo understands that abuse, both mental and physical, destroys the spirit of family and friends, then losing her home, job, and so much more attached to her adds a positive force, yoga, to assist her through trials and tribulations. YogaRo teaches that yoga is the basic instruction, but she also adds other related

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forms of exercise to connect everyone with God, themselves, and the instructor. She became a certified trainer in 2020 and a stretch trainer in 2022. Her business, SerenityZFlow Yoga, began in 2020. In April 2023, YogaRo-Rodneisha Jones opened the first black-owned yoga studio in Pensacola, Florida. She aims to bring peace, love, and light to communities, knowing they have a safe, positive environment where they can come and be themselves. YogaRo hopes to inspire everyone reading this article to never give up on yourself. She feels yoga is one thing that someone can use instead of running to the streets, running into depression, misusing medications, and overcoming sadness, self-harm, and self-doubt. YogaRo teaches that when you move your body, flexing from side to side, up and down, you give yourself the strength you need to continue uplifting yourself.

Visit SerenityZFlow Yoga 6100 West Fairfield Drive, Unit C, Pensacola, FL, 32506. The business phone is (850) 7419641.

https://www.serenityzflowyogaro.com

THE OTHER WOMAN

I'm Lazy!

etting goals and creating vision boards is easy. The difficult part for me is actually doing what it takes to bring these dreams and desires to fruition. We won't even mention what happens when I make New Year's resolutions.

me, inspire me, or encourage me. I had to encourage myself! I had to dig deep within myself and realize it was up to me to GET UP! I often have to yell it out loud so I can hear myself. GET UP! If I can just get up that's a huge beginning for me. When I feel like I'm in a mental tub of concrete and can't move, only my thoughts can pull me out. GET UP!

The most difficult thing for me is to actually GET UP! I find myself sitting on the couch for ungodly long periods of time watching the idiot tube or scrolling on social media watching other people get fit, get rich, and get their life together. I'm talking hours go by before I realize it. What do I do? Get up, do something meaningless, and get back on my phone. I have a 9-5, so I feel like I've pushed out all the productivity I need for the day. The weekends are mine and I do absolutely nothing. I don't feel like doing anything.

I find it easier to take one day at a time. If I can get through one day of not eating sugar, one day of exercising, one day of reading a few pages out of a book, or one day of monitoring my time on social media, that will give me a little determination for the next day. It's a mind game for me. I heard the body follows the mind, so I knew exactly what the source of my laziness was...my thoughts. My battle was in my mind. I realized it was too easy for me to succumb to my laziness, so I started welcoming each new day with a minute to acknowledge my ability to GET UP. I also begin my day with a list of positive affirmations that I repeat over and over. I'm a single woman with no children and unless I GET UP and take control of my life, I'll be on my couch for the rest of my life.

One weekend, it got bad. I came home from work on a Friday and plopped myself on the couch. Before I knew it, Saturday arrived! I had not showered or moved my position except to eat whatever I had delivered. I realized I was slipping into a cycle of complacency. I looked in the mirror and was frustrated with myself. I realized no one was coming to push me off the sofa or turn the idiot tube off or put my cell phone down. No one was around to push me, motivate THE OTHER WOMAN

"The way we spend our time defines who we are."

Anonymous

Jonathan Estrin 44

! T I E S U USE IT!

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My Husband Irritates Me

HARA ESTROFF MARANO A Game Of Avoidance

y husband and I have been married 28 years, a great achievement by today's standards. You'd think we have been through thick and thin enough times that nothing should surprise us anymore. We are both educated, in our early fifties, with two sons in college. From the outside, we appear to be a "normal" family, but something inside me is eating me up. I cannot stand being with my husband anymore; everything about him irritates me, from something as trivial as his smoking habit to something as serious as job opportunities. Right now he is working overseas, and I do not even miss him; actually I feel less stressed. We have grown apart, and no matter what we discuss we seem to have opposing views. He thinks I analyze and criticize everything he does; I feel like there is always an opposing viewpoint that needs to be taken into consideration. To what extent is a wife supposed to support her husband, or her sons, for that matter? I always seem to want to speak my mind, and weigh the good and the bad, but it always comes out that I am the devil's advocate. The only thing that seems to keep the peace is a game of avoidance. Just for the record, smoking isn't a trivial habit. Cigarette smoke can be downright unpleasant and is an irritant

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in its own right. In addition, it pollutes the air everyone in your household breathes, and it damages body tissue. What's trivial about that? But the truth is, everything is irritating when you're angry at someone and don't know how to express it; the annoyance seeps out sideways. It's not clear what you are really angry about, but anger has a way of building up over minor disappointments. Apparently, you are far more interested in keeping the peace than in having a real relationship. Perhaps you think that giving voice to disagreement or disappointment demands confrontation, and so you retreat into avoidance. That dooms you to unhappiness, because it creates no opportunity for awareness of a problem and thus no possibility of change. You are paying a literally miserable price for peace. No relationship can ever be satisfying unless two people actively create opportunities for expressing what they want from the other and for ironing out their inevitable differences. There are ways to voice concerns without engaging in confrontation, which is typically unproductive anyway. Find a quiet time to talk to your husband kindly. Such conversations, like all conversations, need to be conducted in an atmosphere of good will. Each of you needs to listen to the other without

interruption. When you want to bring a problem to your husband's attention, always—repeat, always— begin a request for change with a statement of appreciation. After all, you have to ask for change in a way that is most likely to bring it about. You might say something like this: "I know we haven't been getting along lately, and that makes me sad and angry. I would like to feel closer to you. But your smoking really bothers me, and I don't think it's doing wonders for you either, which worries me." Then you need to state your request, and it should be specific. Don't just tell your husband what he should not do; specify what you would like him to do to remedy the problem: "For my sake, do you think you could give up smoking in the house?" When two people feel listened to, when they can feel free to ask for what they want, then closeness can develop. It's not too late to give up the game of avoidance and get back a real marriage. He Never Says "I Love You" I have been married for 13 years but my husband has never said "I love you!" I love my husband and he loves me and we take care of each other a lot. But I noticed that we never talk or hug each other in public, as other people do. We have three kids and are busy shopping for and entertaining them. When we are alone we always talk about our kids' education, their

behavior problems and how to raise them as good human beings. It's good to be focused on the children, but it is possible to be overfocused on them, too. It's also important to recognize that what kids need most is a stable, secure, emotionally positive relationship between their parents. The emotional climate between parents is your kids' best security blanket. So satisfaction matters.

Further, it wouldn't hurt your kids to have some time to themselves so that they can learn how to entertain themselves. Entertainment is not a parental responsibility. Every child needs free time to deploy their own curiosity and discover what interests them in the world around them, from books to nature to running.

It's not necessarily declarations of affection that speak the loudest. But Which is to say, it's important for your everyone does need demonstrations of kids' sake and your own sake that you it. Create time alone together where you rekindle the romance in your life. You and can talk to your husband. Find out what your husband need time alone together his beliefs are about adult relationships. focusing on the two of you—NOT talking He may have grown up in a family where about the kids. You need time alone the adults focused only on the children, together for renewing the affection you or ridiculed public displays of affection. both have for each other. Adults typically carry into their own THE OTHER WOMAN

relationships attitudes they absorbed, without even knowing it, from heir family of origin. If he thinks it's not good to show affection in public, or even in private, try and explore how he came by his beliefs. And tell him kindly that what may have worked for others doesn't work for you, and that you need more. Work out together a level of expression that you are both comfortable with. Begin with a private conversation, preferably outside the house. It would be nice if you could go out and have a romantic dinner together somewhere. But that's not necessary. The same atmosphere can be set if you do something as simple and low budget as going for a walk together.

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Escape the Single “Daze”: 6 Ways to Embrace Singlehood

inglehood may seem like an obstacle to overcome, but in reality, it is a state of being where massive growth and evolution can occur. Too often, we only cherish it once it’s gone. From romance to wedding, career to maintaining connection, many facets of life in a relationship can hinder your personal growth. Amazing progress can be made during your single days—or what can be called, ‘The Single Daze.’ Here are six things to remember that can help you embrace singlehood and help you take full advantage of the independence and freedom of this point in your life. 1. You are not alone. Being alone and being Single are not the same. You can be in a committed relationship, yet be extremely lonely. Be mindful about who you are, who you want to be, and who you want to meet. This clarity will allow you to attracted like-minded friendships—friendships that will help you grow and develop. 2. Singlehood is a lifetime opportunity. Begin to frame your single status as a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity during which you can charge ahead, consciously creating the life and love you want. This means instead of waiting for Mr. or Mrs. Right to come along and motivate you to be the person you dream of being, you have the tools and space to become that person right now. THE OTHER WOMAN

3. The Singlehood “School of You.” It’s easier to learn what you do want, do like, and do need while single. It is a period of unadulterated, open exploration, both of the Self and of the commitment you intend to create. 4. Single strength. We sometimes sacrifice freedom, happiness and sanity for the success of the relationship; but singlehood grants you a unique opportunity to discover how strong and capable you are on your own. You are more likely to strive fiercely for success in your life and love when you lack a safety net. 5. Attracting passion. Selfexploration and experimentation in singlehood allows you the time and space to find out what sparks. You could unlock a natural talent, knack or passion for something new. 6. Attracting assets. When your Single life is full and fulfilling, you won’t cling to another for your happiness, fulfillment or adventure. You will notice when someone is adding to your life, or depleting it. Take note if your life has less with someone else in it—true love only adds to your life.

Discover the life that makes you happiest. Evaluate and continue your personal successes Evaluate and correct your personal shortcomings Decide and prioritize what is most important to your life source - https://www.meetmindful.com/escape-single-daze-embrace-singlehood/

SINGLE? NO, I'M JUST IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH FREEDOM

To recap, when you are Single you can: Learn to love and accept yourself Discover a passion or talent

ANONYMOUS

A Master Manipulator

am confessing for the sole reason to warn women that every nice guy they meet isn't always as nice as they seem to be. Men turn on the charm and come on strong at the beginning of a relationship and turn out to take, distract, and unfortunately, manipulate. I was one of those nice guys and although I'm not proud of my past actions, I was good at what I did. I'd like to share a few subtle signs that you should look out for. I'm naturally a nice guy anyway, but I turned up my charm whenever I chose my next victim. No woman is excluded from being a victim. A master manipulator will get you to share everything about your past relationships and make sure they treat you the complete opposite of how you were treated in the past. This is one way to convince you that he's on your side and has your best interest in mind, but it's really just a way to draw you closer and gain your trust. You'll think he's different from the rest and find yourself falling in love with his seemingly caring and compassionate heart. Remember, a manipulator's ways are subtle, so you may not recognize the behavior. Once he thinks he has won your heart is when he'll begin criticizing little things you do and judging you. You'll begin to feel like a lot of

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things are your fault and you may find yourself apologizing more than usual. This is to start slowly chipping away at your self-esteem. A manipulator (schemer or con artist) will try to make you feel less about yourself and make themselves appear to do no wrong. We are smart and we'll let you know it by showing we know more than you do. I did this to empower myself as I fueled my manipulative tactics. I would eventually forget about the other person's feelings and importance. Everything had to go my way and be convenient for me. I even began to lie about little things that would work in my favor to gain more trust. If she liked something I would like it too. I made our relationship appear as if it was supposed to be despite our differences. I made her believe she was my soul mate and nothing could come between us. Men know women like the fairy tale dream, so we try to be your knight in shining armor. By any means necessary, I had to make sure I was on top of my game. A master manipulator wants something from you. He does not come into your life to give. Under no circumstances does he mean you any good no matter what it appears to look or feel like to you. I have taken money from women,

moved in with women, given gifts to women and so many other subtle gestures. How do you know when a man is truly sincere? That's the hard part. Women have a strong intuition, but for some reason, the manipulator can bypass that radar. That's why we're called MASTER manipulators. Women don't usually realize what's going on immediately. Several things have to happen before the blindfold comes off. A woman's heart speaks louder than her mind. Don't be so trusting and don't think you're so special that you won't be a victim.

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Auto Repairs / Tire Services Commercial Tires Diesel Engine Repair Lube Oil & Filter Change Roadside Assistance Engine Diagnostics and Performance Plus more THE OTHER WOMAN

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Finally, I Woke Up!

ERROL TOLBERT

Creator of Single-ish https://www.facebook.com/groups/791730968008981/

ver had that dream that is so good you get mad when you wake up? After 53 years, I finally woke up. In my 20s, 30s, and even my early 40s I realized I was living a dream. A dream that I didn’t have to worry about love. A dream where growing old alone was never a thought. It didn’t even matter that I had no children to carry my name, but here I am, in my early 50s, and I finally woke up to realize that the reality of my life was nothing but a dream. Now that I no longer yearn for onenight stands or getting as much sex as possible, I find myself kicking myself in the rear. Most of my closest friends have married and have families. The peace and calm they have when I speak to them makes me low-key jealous. To have another human being that you can have daily conversations with and work together to better their lives is all I ever wanted. For far too long, I did what was easy instead of what was right for my heart.

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A year ago, I changed my diet and lost 40 lbs. I started putting myself on a sleep schedule and holding myself accountable for my life. Now, I am back in the gym and getting fit - for me. At first, I didn’t think much about it, but one morning it hit me. I was finally waking up. I realized that my happiness was my responsibility. My well-being was all on me. Certain types of women were no longer attractive to me. I found myself no longer looking for the path that would lead to meaningless sex. Gone were the days of accepting drama as love or attraction. Now I can finally say, “I am at peace!" I withdrew from the places, people, and things that only gave me superficial joy and made myself a priority. I never realized just how much of my past happiness was about other people who couldn't care less about my true happiness. I thought making myself available for other people was what my life was supposed to be about. Boy, was I wrong! Sometimes waking up or finally seeing the light is scary. I realize this now. We often are afraid of being alone or not being well-liked. We hold on to relationships far longer than they were intended to be held on to. For me, finally waking up has been a breath of fresh air. I no longer thirst for just sex. Don’t get me wrong, I love sex. I just realized I love making love even more. I miss the passion and intimacy that you can only truly find when you are in love.

Once I woke up, I could see that I am not some unique individual that every woman wants. Sometimes women just want sex just like I did. For some, they viewed me as an easy target for what they were looking for, but I convinced myself it was because I was some smooth operator. Finally waking up has brought me back down to earth. I no longer want to be seen as a “good screw," I want to be viewed and respected as the man my father tried to raise me to be. Finally waking up has brought about a happiness in my life that I haven’t felt in decades. Gone are the days when I thought having numerous sexual conquests was a sign of mastering being a man. Gone are the days of accepting people around me just because I benefit them. Waking up isn’t a death sentence. Think about it as a commencement. The beginning of experiencing true happiness and peace. I am not happy about waiting till I was in my 50s to finally wake up, I am still thankful that I finally did. Whether I have 20 days or 20 years left on this earth. I can approach every day with a sense of happiness and peace. Finally, I woke up!

“Why I do this” by Mustapha M. Kamara Why I do this the naysayers say Well I say Trying to be healthy Ain’t for the weak You heard right, I do this for me and my legacies It’s my healing It’s cathartic My journey Revealing my vulnerabilities My insecurities Have lead me to Self discovery I’m Edifying me, rebuilding Restoring my yearning My lost desire for learning Reconnecting Establishing and building on my strengths Can’t teach my children anything If I ain’t willing to go through things And in the right moments Vent Acknowledging within me Both the positive and negative things Accountability A true testament to the growing list Of my abilities Children see you can go beyond your capabilities I’m watching me…evolving So when they say why I do this I nod to myself and smile And I say I do this for me and my legacies THE OTHER WOMAN

“Why I do this”

Is One Woman Enough? VERNON WATSON www.wbqp.com The question has been asked by many women and men: "Is One Woman Enough?" The answer is more complicated than the question. Women accuse men of "wanting" more than one woman, and men accuse each of "needing" more than one woman. Regardless of a man’s wants or needs for more than one woman, the real question is, can a man be committed to just one woman? Monogamy for a man has been hotly debated for years because of the complexities of the question. Whether one woman is enough for a man is subjective and has cultural, psychological, and biological implementations that confuse the issue. Did God create us to pair together for a lifetime? Can a man be committed to one woman exclusively for a lifetime? Are men polyamorous by nature due to our biological and evolutionary history? Studies show that married men, on average, stay with their wives until death do them part. That is in part because our culture promotes the idea of lifelong commitment to a single partner as a moral and social virtue. Women, more so than men, pursue exclusivity, but men are also capable. Whether or not God created us to be paired for a lifetime, we vow before God that we will be together till death do us THE OTHER WOMAN

part. On the other hand, attachment theory suggests that individuals may find deep emotional satisfaction in monogamous relationships, fostering a sense of security and stability. But the real question is, did he seek other women during that lifelong or long-term marriage? If so, there are some psychological factors to consider of whether one Woman is enough for a man. Some researchers will argue that humans may be pre-disposed to seek variety and novelty, citing that men's urge to pursue other women is a "natural" instinct. Some experts claim that men are polygamous by nature, which means that men cannot remain faithful to one woman. Experts also said that a bumble bee shouldn't be able to fly by design, but they do. That said, millions of faithful men in their lives loved and committed to one woman. Keep in mind, as some men may thrive in monogamous relationships, others may be thieves in polyamorous relationships. To understand polyamorous relationships, you must first know that the first person in his life was a woman, his mother. Perhaps next was his sister(s) and female friend(s), then his girlfriend(s) and his wife or wives, and maybe then his daughter(s) and so on. That alone proves in and of itself that one woman is not enough. But can a man love or be in love and be satisfied with one

woman for his entire life? I believe in the 80/20 rule, which means that 80% of those men believe that one woman is enough, and the remaining 20% do not. I would be naive if I said all lifelong marriages or long-term committed relationships believe one woman is enough. We all know of someone in a long-term marriage and relationship that has a sidepiece(s). The short answer is yes, he can love her for a lifetime, but can he be committed to her exclusively for a lifetime? Again YES, if the right factors are there. A word of caution, be careful, ladies, that 20% of “uncommitted” men in long-term relationships may be "Stringers." A Stringer is a man who strings women along without committing, this includes some married men. The chance of a "stringer" to be committed to one woman is slim. As a side note to prove my point, we all know a couple that had been together for a long time, and indeed, when they broke up, and he married another woman shortly after that. The woman he married did something that she failed to do, and that is to put a timeline on him. That woman wasn't crazy; she knew he had been in that previously long-term relationship for many years, and she wasn’t going to play that game. If he

is not going to put a ring on it or commit by a specific date, then say bye-bye and move on to the next one. Just as men can cheat, but on the flip side of that coin, men can also be loyal and committed. Facts show that most men are pleased with one woman. To answer the question, one woman is enough if there is true love and a serious relationship. Age may be a factor in determining if one woman is enough. Younger men prefer to explore and seek more than one woman because he is seeking that "one woman." As men get older and mature, they settle down to that one woman. The real question is, once he selects that one woman, is she enough? I read a study that revealed that men will commit to one woman as they reach that so-called Age of Commitment, and that age varies from man to man. The age of commitment years are when men are tired of the dating scene and ready to settle down and commit. The window of opportunity opens between the ages of 23 - 33, when men can be capable of being truly committed exclusively. The years before age 23 are considered the playing, exploring, and planning years, and they think it is their rite of passage to seek multiple women. And, after age 33, the window of opportunity to be committed exclusively to one woman starts closing. For me, it was at the age of 23, and I have been commited for 48 years. But was one woman enough? My answer, we are still together, and I am just as much in love and committed as I was when I was 23. So, let's get to the fundamental question: can a man not cheat on THE OTHER WOMAN

his one woman for a lifetime? YES! Why? Because a real man knows that one woman is more than enough. As I stated above, when a man is genuinely in love, he will commit to just one woman and be loyal and faithful to her because he knows her worth. Smart people know a keeper; if you can find traits like maturity, honesty, loyalty, faithfulness, commitment, support, caring, respect, and love in that person, then they are likely ready to commit to an exclusive relationship. With that said, one woman

will be more than enough. If that one woman does the same, they will complete each other, and a man then will be blind to other women. Anyone who knows me is going to be shocked to hear this; there is one thing men want from women more than sex. Don't get me wrong, sex is essential in a relationship with men because it is associated with manliness and ego. However, most men will not admit this, but "LOVE" or the need to be loved and nurtured is more important to men than sex. You heard me right! Let me repeat that…for men, love is more important than sex. The reason is that sex is love for most men. Men and women perceive the feeling of love differently. You know the old saying, "Women need to feel loved to have sex, but men need to have sex to feel loved,” and that is why it seems that sex is always men's number one priority. Whether men admit it or not or whether you will believe this or not, but nurturing love is the one factor that can make that man believes one woman is enough. Men want to be loved and nurtured like their mommy did for them before them; if they perceive that he's going to be getting that mama-type of nurturing love, they will be committed to one woman for life. In conclusion, whether men's justification system leads them to believe, for evolutionary reasons, that biology is pointing to a theory that suggests varied mating strategies could have provided survival advantages or whether they think that for some psychological ego reason, he has a personality trait that is predisposing him to seek polyamorous. The fact of the matter is that all human beings have the capacity for self-awareness, empathy, and the ability to make conscious choices that can override their biological or psychological impulses. So, is one woman enough for a man? She can be! And, YES, she is!

Daddy Said... "Don't give men too much credit for thinking and when men do think, it's ME, ME, ME. Men are selfish."

"If he wants you all to himself, but he isn't prepared to give himself to you, then you should give him nothing at all." @Stephen speaks THE OTHER WOMAN

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