The Other Woman - You're Worth It!

The Other Woman

“It is my mission to help you discover the silenced and often suppressed woman resting within and infuse a desire to live courageously without reservation or regrets.”

I'm Tired!

self-inflicted to-do list. I didn't have the desire to do anything, so instead of getting up and tackling the day as the workaholic I am, I decided to confront my boss about taking a break. I looked in the mirror and said, "Boss, I'm tired." She smiled and said, "What took you so long? You're in charge here." At that moment, I mentally unplugged.

Why? Why while encouraging other women to know their worth and love themselves did I not consider my own worth and selflove? Why did I overload myself with STUFF?

Creator/Publisher of The Other Woman (TOW)

https://www.facebook.com/lavender.williams/

Since the day I was "released" from my twentyyear marriage, I've been in fifth gear getting my life on track. I left my marriage with insufficient funds, poor credit, and unbeknownst to me, bad health. I'm thankful I didn't lose my mind while I was in survival mode - some women do. I was a homeschooling mother, devoted wife, and faithful church-goer who believed as long as I was being led by the Spirit, I could keep going, and going, and going. Burning the candle at both ends was my way of life.

Back then, listening to my body wasn't something I was mindful of. Now I know when my body is telling me to STOP. I usually wake up and hit the floor running, but one particular morning this past June, I had an awakening moment. I lay in my bed and thought about this upcoming issue and getting it to print by the deadline. I also thought about a manuscript I needed to finish for a client on death row (yes, death row) and a few other tasks on my

I believe I became desensitized to feeling tired. Working beyond my internal signals to STOP became my norm. I thought I was showing determination, but I was dangerously damaging my health - again. Because we look good on the outside doesn't mean we're good on the inside. Because I've been doing some intense research on health and wellness, I know chronic stress can cause cells to age and die prematurely plus negatively impact my immune system, cardiovascular, and digestion system. My mother has always told me to do what's necessary. Well, when I know better, I sure attempt to do better. I am no longer setting unrealistic deadlines for myself or making commitments and accepting invitations to appease others. I am no longer scheduling my weekly show, Peeling Back The Layers. Instead, I'm peeling back my own layers and embracing my new season of healing and self-growth. REBIRTH!

Will The Other Woman (TOW) Magazine continue? Yes, but maybe not three times a year. Working in fifth gear for the last six years helped me build my mini empire but to enjoy it, I need to slow down to second gear which will allow me to enjoy the journey much more!

Aging has helped me to realize nothing except my health is a sense of urgency. I can't do anything without my health. Listen to your body! Pay attention to the caution signs - they're there but sometimes we're too busy to notice them. Stop before you get tired and rest just because! Eating clean and living clean are ways to show self-love and I'm worthy of both of them. I've learned to love myself from the inside out which is the key to what I call OH3 - optimum health, happiness, and healing. You are invited to join the journey with The Other Woman. It's time to take care of YOU! You're worth it!

laVender shedrick williams

laVender shedrick williams

photo credit - The Ugly Goat

Who Is She?

The Other Woman is published by Candy Publishing. Visit the website to read archived articles and to meet the team of writers behind TOW.

www.theotherwomanmagazine.com

Team TOW

Julia T. Cadenhead (CAPT, CHC, USN (Ret.) 08 Resilience

Robert L Congress

Brittany Leigh Davis

Lara McKnight

There is a natural power or influence that women possess over man. This power exists because the “rib” was taken out of the man to create woman. Within the male, there is an indescribable desire to be reconnected with what God removed from him and placed within the woman. Women have a natural power to influence a man without using force. This natural power of influence is pulling the man toward her and toward her desires. It is an inherent lure. The power of femininity can be used in a positive or negative manner - for good or for evil.

The Power Of Femininity

Excerpts from The Bite Of Pleasure by

Eddie L. Fray

When the craving for what’s missing touches or connects with femininity, this intangible invisible attraction will pull a man to a woman to meet her needs and desires. It doesn’t matter if we are talking about changing a tire for a female stranger or giving up his coat to a woman when it’s cold outside.

If you mix love and the power of femininity with a righteous or lustful desire to please along with daily seductions, an explosion takes place in the soul of a man.

Woman's first gift came from the Creator. It was the gift of femininity and how he marvelously made her.

The uniqueness and inborn lure of the woman are undeniable.

Femininity is powerful and not an attribute you can turn on or off.

“The world is already working against you, so don’t let your insecurities steal your happiness.

Being YOU is enough.”

Meredith Kilmartin

RESILIENCY

Julia Cadenhead, CAPT. CHC. USN (Ret.)

Iwas curled up on the couch watching one of those Disney animated movies. Suddenly a joyous song blasts in the background, “Food, glorious food…” It sounded all loud, happy, and wonderful… guess who was singing it? Buzzards!

Yep. . .a whole flock of them zipping across the TV screen singing, “Fooooood, glorious fooooood …”

I was shocked but I had to laugh. After all, I’d grown up hearing the term ‘buzzard bait’ and I knew it wasn’t associated with anything glorious!

Eeuuu, what is this? I thought to myself. I realize it’s just for fun, but. . . eeuuuu.

Have you ever watched buzzards doing their circle pattern in the sky? I set myself to thinking. “Be shocked by your perceptions. They may scandalize you but maybe there’s a message within the shock”. “Be still …and know” (the scripture says) sometimes we should be surprised and shocked. Why?

Because the Good Lord just may be in the moment…

I am the Truth which brings a fine-tuned Perception to your life situation-- my ways are not as your ways, nor are my thoughts as your thoughts.

So, be Surprised, even Shocked, by this Life I have given you. I’m God and I love the buzzards, too; don’t cha know!

Seems to me we’re living with lots of buzzards these days. Sometimes I feel like buzzard bait, myself! Maybe it’s time to pay attention to the shock and seek Faith. Have Hope. Possess Trust. Oh, and perhaps we should re-read verses 1 through 7 in Psalm 46.

TIL DEATH DO US PART

Iwas too young to get married and so was my husband but I got pregnant and we exchanged vows. I was 15 and he was 17. We didn't know a damn thing. We couldn't help each other grow up; we had to grow up on our own while learning how to live with another person. I learned quickly that marriage was more than the good fuzzy feeling you have when you first meet and are excited about going on the first date. In the beginning, you always made sure you were looking good and smelling good, too. Romance is powerful and love would be great if we could keep those fuzzy feelings going in marriage.

Love is about making difficult and tedious days not so difficult and tedious. Gentleness, tender touches, lovingly looks at each other, and most importantly how you speak to one another is important.

Communication is the key. Learn to talk to each other not at each other in anger. Be truthful with each other and listen in an attempt to understand. It wouldn't hurt to ask your spouse if something

is bothering them or if they have something on their mind. Be attentive to your spouse's moods and actions.

The reality of marriage sets in when disagreements and misunderstandings come. It's so easy to be ugly, but we don't have to go there. Difficult times will make us forget why we got married. Before you know it, you'll start looking on the other side of the fence. What's on the other side of the fence may look good to you but you don't know their baggage. There are weeds beneath the beautiful green grass -childhood trauma, depression, personality disorders, financial issues, and other issues may be hidden. The grass may be greener, but you have to get dirty to find out what's beneath the surface.

Remember, everybody has something! Every family has a level of dysfunction - no one is exempt. There have been a lot of challenges and mistakes along the way, but we got through it all - the good, the bad, and the ugly. It's been 67 years and we're still together.

LOVE CONQUERS ALL

ROSIE L SHEDRICK

Escape, Renew, and Remind Yourself of Your Worth

Do You Know Your Worth?

The Other Woman (TOW) will always remind you of your worth; however, no matter how many times you hear or read about your worth, only YOU can define your worth. Do you know your worth? What is the level of importance you've placed on yourself?

To know your worth and to love yourself is a process. It takes life experiences to help you discover and accept your worth to your family, your friends, your job, your community, the world, and most importantly - to yourself. Unfortunately, being taken advantage of used by these same people can help define your worth.

Women are natural nurturers, and we often find ourselves stretched and stressed from meeting the needs of everyone except ourselves.

Make yourself a priority! Be selfish with your time. Learn to turn down invitations and requests for help when you're already carrying a full load. If you don't voluntarily take care of yourself, your body will eventually force you to.

No one gets a gold star for burning the candle at both ends or for filling every day of the calendar with events, appointments, and tasks. All you get at the end of the day are tired feet, aching muscles, a headache, and probably hunger pains because you forgot to eat.

When you realize your worth, you won't look for others to validate you. Knowing your worth allows you to love yourself enough to recognize you don't need to please others.

Go ahead, free the other woman and tap into a power and courage that will change your life. You're worth it!

"I am trying daily to celebrate myself and making sure I know my worth and not doubt myself so much. I pour into other people so much on a daily basis that it's easy to forget about myself!"

Kiva C.

Friendships bloom in their own time.

What Are Friends For?

Some say that people enter our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. Here’s

“People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.”

This is an opening line of a poem by Brian A. “Drew” Chalker. Since the poem became popular, the “reason, season, and lifetime” concept has been shared by many.

Research — including a 2021 review — shows us that friendships are important to our mental and physical health. And as a 2018 study shows, friendships can improve your quality of life and life satisfaction.

Although the poem is specifically about friendships, you might find it helpful to think of all relationships in this light.

Short-lived relationships can still be beneficial. Even a short interaction with a stranger can impact your life in meaningful ways.

Here are some examples of reason relationships:

A stranger you met in the park told you about their recent trip overseas. This conversation inspired you to look into moving abroad — and now you live in a different country thanks to them.

In grade school, a substitute teacher taught you for a day. He complimented you on your art and encouraged you to keep drawing. You eventually went on to become a designer.

what they mean.

You dated someone for 3 months. It eventually became toxic and you ended it. Although it hurt, the relationship taught you to stand up for yourself. You had a friend-with-benefits for a few weeks before it ended. You don’t talk anymore, but they helped you feel more confident about your body.

A season relationship lasts longer, but it eventually ends — whether amicably or not so amicably.

Here are some examples of season relationships:

A friend you made in college helped you come out of your shell and adjust to living away from home. Although you’re no longer in contact, they made a positive impact on your self-confidence. You were married for several years before divorcing. Although you and your ex outgrew one another, you also positively influenced each other’s lives. Your first boss taught you a lot about your trade. Although you now work elsewhere, their lessons set the foundation for the career you have today.

A long-term relationship — one that lasts a lifetime — can bring you joy, aid your growth, and teach you more about yourself and the world around you.

Whether the relationship is with a family member, a childhood friend, or a friend you’ve made as an adult, lifetime friends see you go through different stages of your life and support you through it all —

and vice versa.

There are many benefits of friendships. Positive, healthy friendships can help you feel less stressed and lonely, and they can be a source of personal growth. However, it’s important to be willing to let go of a toxic friendship, even if you thought they’d be a “lifetime” friend.

Read the full article - https://psychcentral.com/relationships/reason-season-lifetime-accepting-impermanence-in-relationships#lifetime

Some friends will outgrow you. It's okay! Be happy for them then go find your own fertilizer. People grow!

Are You Stuck?

Monday / Wednesday / Friday

Fb and YouTube LIVE with Dr. Sandra G. Winborne aka Dr. Winnie

I know so many women that contributed and established the bar for me on what I may encounter as a woman. It began with my mother, Lillie. She lost my dad, when he was 53, to a cerebral hemorrhage. It paused her but failed to stop her from guiding me (the last child at home). She paid bills, volunteered at her church, and worked part-time for the State of New York.  I recall going to college and calling to ask Lillie if I could quit school and come home because I didn’t like college. Lillie told me to hang up the phone and find some friends. I cried and went out to find some friends.

Moving forward in college, I found friends like Natalie and Zella. These young women showed me how to balance studying and socializing. Then, while working as the student union night manager, in walks a woman named Paula, a wife of a professor studying for her doctorate. She needed a sitter for her children. Our friendship formed into a sistership, where I learned how to organize my time, accept my shortcomings, and recognize my gifts. So many other women strengthened my path: Maria, Shirley, Harriet, Maureen, Jackie, Anita, Grace, Alice, Freida, Cassandra, Edna, and many others. Having all those women as role models lets me know that you must know good women to be a good woman.

WOMEN - an adult female human being. - lady - female - lasse - Signora

W - WARRIORS - a brave or experienced soldier or fighter  - strength - skills - protection

O - ORIGINAL - present or existing from the beginning; first or earliest. OR they are created directly and personally by a particular artist, not a copy or imitation.

- authentic - true - real - veritable - archetypal - prototypical - genuine - actual - bonafide

M - MAGNIFICENT - impressively beautiful, elaborate, or extravagant; striking. - splendid - spectacular- impressive- striking- glorious - superb - awesome - royalstately

E - ELEGANT - pleasingly graceful and stylish in appearance or manner.- stylish - refined - discerning - refined - sophisticated - distinguished - classic - smart - lovely - artistic -

N - NURTURING - care for and encourage the growth or development of. - bring up - raise - care for - promote - encourage stimulate – develop

What words would describe your knowledge, feelings, and experience with women?

Take Back Your Mind

Read and Research On Your Own

Most Importantly... Think for Yourself!

Her edition

KIOKA TUCK

Miss T’s Book Room

Iwould love to tell you that when children are born, they are born with the ability to read. I would love to tell you they come with the ability to understand words and letters, but that isn’t true. When I started a journey of encouraging students to love books and that books are essential learned that I was missing the most critical part…being able to read. Those books I was telling students to read for enjoyment became a barrier because some couldn’t read them.

It all started when I learned that reading was not a natural thing. The human brain is naturally wired to speak and not naturally wired to read and write. Miss T’s Book Room promoted the love of books, but it wasn’t dealing with a weighing issue. Miss T wasn’t dealing with the “reading is hard for me” and the “I can’t read” statements from children reading to be a hardship. I had to reevaluate and start to do things differently.

I took many college courses that taught me many things but I didn’t take many that taught me how to teach reading. I learned a couple of years later while being an intern teacher that ensuring elementary students have a good foundation in literary skills was just as important as exercising or having a great skincare routine. I worked alongside a Special Education teacher who instilled in me the importance of students learning their letter sounds. I taught in an elementary

school from Pre-K to 2nd grade during my internship. Some were getting the basic skills, but their brains were wired differently, and it took time to understand and grasp these concepts. Let me clarify: difficulties like that aren’t anyone’s fault, and usually,these difficulties aren’t found until later in life. When someone struggles with reading, it doesn’t mean they will be unable to read. They will learn how to read differently,which is fine. Yes, I said adults because I have worked with adults that didn’t have basic reading skills.

Once a child or an adult understands that they learn that they can learn to read, the possibilities are endless. Now that I teach older students, students with a good reading foundation will take them far. When a child is given the tools to reach reading success, books aren’t that bad; reading isn’t that bad. Books are my love language, and I am not trying to make them yours. I want you to fall in love with so many things. I want you to feel comfortable reading about your love language.

I know about many resources to help children and adults with reading difficulties. Don't hesitate to contact Miss T if you want to learn more or about more resources to help you or your loved ones.

Literature

Reading for Our Lives by A Literacy Action Plan from Birth to Six

Reading Above the Fray by Julia Lindsey

Know Better, Do Better by David Liben& Meredith Liben

Overcoming Dyslexia by Sally Shaywitz

About Miss T’s Book Room

Miss T’s Book Room is a non-profit that started as an informative blog about books in 2015. Our mission is to distribute diverse books and art supplies to young people in surrounding communities. It was started because of the lack of diverse books in local libraries, bookstores, schools, and homes. We also provide education about the importance of quality, diverse literature, reading, and creativity.

Read more about the founder, Kioka Tuck

https://www.misstsbookroom.com/ about-the-founder

MzUNDASTOOD

How Did You Race Your Pet?

were from two different worlds one rule was universal among them, no pets on the furniture, and yes, that included the porch/patio furniture for Pup Pup. Over the years I’ve definitely witnessed family and friends allow their fur babies to share furniture, but to what extent was lost on me until I witnessed a friend ‘tuck’ her dog into bed with her, under the covers! It was then that I realized, not only do different cultures view child rearing and food seasoning differently, but with some cultures even pets have privileges.

This is intended for laughs, not to be analyzed for “cancel culture content.” Also, no pets were harmed in the typing of this article so PETA, we’re good.

I’ve had interactions with people of different beliefs, religions, and races who are also pet owners. It’s funny that most people with the same belief systems have almost the same mindset concerning their pets.

Personally, I’ve had many pets in my day: fish, hamsters, turtles, a cat that I named “Can’t Get Right” and a few birds whose mere presence always made me feel guilty whenever we ate turkey or chicken for dinner. But primarily it was a dog. My childhood is infused with dogs, from my Paternal Great grandmother’s lawn patrol Mutt named Pup Pup, because no one ever called him anything else. To my Maternal Grandmother’s in-house Poodle, a true diva adequately named Pepa. While they

After that, I had questions. I asked all my pet owner friends the same four questions I then noticed that there was an ‘almost’ general consensus. It’s alright for the pet to sleep on the bed, but that’s where the commonality ends. While one group felt that the foot of the bed was an appropriate sleep space for their pup, others admitted to sharing their pillows and allowing their fur buddies under the covers. But, everything after the bed/sleeping arrangements turned into a checklist of total opposites.

I then asked, How many times have you allowed your Rover or Pup Pup to lick the ice cream cone, and then you lick behind the pet? Or, allow it to drink from their cup and they continue to drink? I even asked if they have ever allowed their pet

to lick them in their mouth? I’m sure you’ve seen all those things mentioned and probably some not, but in the list above guess how many of those acts occurred in a household that wasn’t Caucasian? None. Not one person of Asian, Hispanic, or African descent agreed with those actions, ironically every Caucasian was fine with these acts. Anyways, last week I thought I’d go to the local shelter and pick out a fur companion. I was excited until they all licked me in my face, and dangerously close to my lips. Pepa would have never!!

I explained as I left that I’ll try again later, that I’m just not ready for an interracial relationship with my pet.

Born, raised, and educated in Jacksonville, Fl. I joined the military after graduation and settled in Pensacola, Florida following my discharge. I then successfully raised three children. My comedy is born from real life events and everyday experiences, but mainly it’s just my coping mechanism for life. Follow

10 Reasons Why Women Prefer Dogs

RUBY LILAOWALA

The old phrase, ‘man’s best friend’, may need to change to be more inclusive! A study carried out by Purina Dog Food revealed that half of girl-dog owners surveyed would prefer spending their free time and weekends with their dog(s) rather than their partners! And yet another study, carried out in New York revealed that women slept better when they shared their bed with their pooch.

So what is it that makes a woman prefer a dog over a man? We asked some women and here’s what they had to say…

“A dog gives unconditional love. Even known a man do that?” quipped Katy.

Sanaya, who’s been married for five years now, said that keeping a dog at home makes the women feel safer. “If a thief breaks in, my dog will bark and protect us. My husband, on the other hand, will probably snore all through the break in!”

Newly married Rati confesses, “A dog will never complain about your cooking. They will eat anything that we give them with gratitude. That includes the burnt toast and runny eggs… It’s a very different story with these cribby, ungrateful men!”

Phiroza, a grandma who is a school

principal, says, “You can scold your dog when you leave home; and he will yet be there to welcome you when you come back home.

“A dog will never make fun of your new hairstyle or your new passion for dread locks,” expresses 19-year-old Delnaz.

Irate wife and daughter-in-law, Zenia, said, “You can say what you want about your dog’s mother and your dog will wag his tail at you in agreement!”

Twenty-five year old Binaifer affirms, “A dog will never judge you for putting on weight and yet eating ice cream at every meal.”

“A dog will never criticise your driving skills or do back seat-driving making you even more nervous!” complains career woman, Farnaaz.

Home-maker and mommy, Rashna says, “When you are upset and crying, your dog will sit by your side as long you need him to without asking what time the cricket match starts on TV!”

“When your dog’s friends come over, they include you in their games and you rarely have to clean up after they leave!” discloses Tehmi, a wife with a very social husband!

No wonder then, the old adage needs to get a revamp – ‘Dog is WOMAN’s Best Friend’!!

Thank You, Boss!

BRITTANY LEIGH DAVIS

Wow, what a year it's been! A little over a year ago, I changed jobs and have started learning so many new things. I left my previous job because I was starting to feel stuck, I could see others around me moving forward, but the position I was in didn't look like there was going to be any growth, so I took a leap and found something else. It's always scary going into a new place and not knowing what to expect so of course, I had those jitters and wanted to make sure that I made the best impression I could when I started my new job.

Since getting the job, I have learned so many new things that I never thought I would enjoy learning or ever get the chance to learn at my other jobs. It hadn't been five months since I started when my boss asked if I would be interested in learning the accounting position. I have always despised any type of Math, and I was honest with my boss about that. He assured me that he thought I could succeed at it. I, of course, was terrified because I had never attempted to do anything like that before and had never seen myself being the type of person to do it either. He told me he wanted me to start training with our Accountant and if I ever felt like I didn't like it, to let him know and we could look at another path to grow my career with this company.

I have never in my history of working had a boss who took an interest in me and my career. Other

bosses kind of made me feel like I was just there to do a job, which made me feel disposable. None of them took the time to talk to me about what I wanted or offered any advice on reaching my full potential or possibly getting an even better-paying job. And let me tell you, it makes a difference when you get a boss that helps mold your career path because they know everything there is to know. If they see the potential that you didn't see in yourself, that gives you all the confidence that you need to just attempt whatever the job may be. I'm still learning new things on a day-today basis, but I'm not scared to work at it and take on new challenges. The world really does need more bosses who invest in their employees' future. I have never talked to my boss and thought he wouldn't listen to and at least consider my ideas. I am lucky I have a great boss who looks out for all his employees and has their best interests in mind. He takes all of our ideas into account and knows each and every one of us and where we would be best used.

I got so lucky when I got this job and only see myself moving up and forward. Since starting here, I haven't felt like I was stuck or that I would ever have the opportunity to move up and make more money. This is the best feeling!

Thank you to all the bosses who are like mine, I know there must be more of you out there! Thank you for listening to us and recognizing our abilities (that we may not see ourselves). Thank you for helping us

to develop strong work ethics which is needed in this society. Thank you for all that you teach us because I know one day when you decide to retire, the higher-ups will be looking for someone qualified to fill the position.

Since you have taught us all so well, we will be prepared to accept that role if offered. Even though I have been busier here than any other place I have worked, I wouldn't have it any other way. If any of you have had a boss that has changed how you look at work or how you feel about being employed, you know exactly what I am talking about! Let's all say thank you to the few who stand out and make us feel like we are a vital part of the business!

Coming Full Circle

RISA OWENS

Thinking back to where I've come from, it blows my mind. I was pronounced dead while in the womb, yet born alive. At four years old, doctors gave up on me and sent me home to die of a brain tumor, yet I lived. After being exposed to radiation through my mother (during x-rays in her first trimester), I was born with several birth defects that went unnoticed until I started exhibiting symptoms.

To make a long story short, they labeled me retarded. I had a speech impediment, yet I am not retarded. Due to the birth defects, I only had, what is now called, an intellectual disability which I overcame.

I became a single mother raising a daughter and going back to school while working; I wanted to get more education. There I was mother, father, sole provider, and student all at the same time. Forty-three years later, here I am, an author, speaker, mental health coach, and grandmother all wrapped up into one. I can say without any hesitation, life has not been the easiest. Being a single mom isn't for the faint of heart, but I wouldn't have traded it for a million dollars.

For years, I wondered why I went through the pain, rejection, betrayals, and sorrow. It was many years of tears, questions, and lying down at night with an aching body from working so many hours. Now I know why. God has brought me full circle to where I needed to be. I had to walk the journey to be able to help those in need. I had to know what it is to hurt, to need,

to be a single mom, to lose someone I loved desperately, to be bullied, and to know all the hurts that life can throw at you. Until you have walked the paths of others, you can't help them. You can't say you understand what they're going through.

I know what it is to feel grief not only for someone I lost but for the shattered dreams I lost, the dreams of a husband I so wanted but never had, the dreams of the man I wanted to live the rest of my life with, yet he died. I know the heartbreak of family hurts and betrayal. It's life, and it's the journey I have walked to be able to help others, to be able to help you, my friends.

Coming full circle has taken me a lifetime. It seems it's always been my desire to help others, to give back what I have received. I'm a single woman who has become comfortable with her situation of singleness not because I wanted to but because it's the way I've been called to be. It's called coming full circle with God.

On the Path to...

Self-Induced Madness

How Leaving the Christian Faith Changed My Life Part III

with celebrations of their gods on Christmas and Easter. I immediately decided, “No more.” We would not worship as the pagans so I axed Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny. It’d be a bit longer before I decided that worshiping on Sunday was wrong.

SANDRA WINN

Determined to read the entire Bible in a year with no guides or aides, I set out to become closer to God. We still attended our Pentecostal church, but I started detesting it. Everything I thought I knew as a lifelong believer was about to change, drastically. Every morning I woke at 4am to read one scripture from the old and new testament, as well as one proverb and one psalm every single day. Suddenly I found myself on the brink of insanity; actually, it was more like I was insane. Self-induced madness.

One of the issues that really started bothering me were words attributed to Paul. He said not to worship God the way the pagans did. How did pagans worship their gods? Most worshiped on Sunday, whereas the Sabbath is Friday sundown to Saturday sundown. They also worshiped

Paul also taught not to engage in obscenities or coarse jokes. On that note, I threw out all of our secular CD’s, mostly my husbands, and I axed cable television. I just rented what I considered good wholesome shows and series from Netflix.

the day and just cry and pray. I had no peace.

Finally, I decided to go to the head pastor. I told him how I felt about holidays, as well as discussed the fact I could no longer teach children that Sunday worship was one of the ten commandments. Instead of helping me or guiding me, he told me I was “bewitched by the devil.” We stopped attending church after that. I decided to do more Bible studies.

One of the first things I noticed is that the old and new testament clashed, big time. Not once in the old testament does it discuss eternal heaven, let alone eternal torment in hell. Neither was mentioned to Adam, Eve, Moses, Abraham, Job, David, or any other “heroes” of the old testament. Being punished infinitely for finite sins seems like a pretty crucial piece of information, right? Why did god neglect to tell his chosen people about the possibility of hellfire and brimstone?

Towards the end of my quest to read the Bible, I felt sick in my head. I was in no way an unbeliever, I just became hyper-aware of scriptures pointing to wolves in sheep’s clothing. I stayed awake at night, crying that my loved ones were doomed for eternal torment. Sometimes I’d break down during

Between the above, along with scriptures in Zechariah about God physically reigning on earth for eternity, I was freed from the fear of hell. What came next? Clarity. My walk with God was nearing its end. The shackles of christianity, broken.

"We stopped attending church after that.

I decided to do more Bible studies."

"There is no gate, no lock, no bolt that you can set upon the freedom of my mind."

Virginia Woolf

What Would You Do?

LAVERN SIMMONS

As I pulled into a doughnut shop drive-through line, I noticed two little girls sitting on a curb in the parking lot next to the drivethrough. They were wearing backpacks and appeared to be about seven and five years old. I was familiar with the area and observed that the school buses had already made their morning rounds.

After I purchased my doughnuts, I drove to the little girls and asked why they were sitting there. With hesitation, the oldest replied, "We're waiting for the blue bus." I had no clue what the blue was and I was late for work.

Late for work or not, I couldn't leave the girls sitting there. Careful not to scare them, I decided to wait at a safe distance for the arrival of the blue bus. As more cars began to line up for doughnuts, I pulled a little closer to the girls for safety measures. I noticed the male driver of the car closest to the girls appeared to be recording or taking pictures of them. He then engaged in a conversation with the oldest girl.

I pulled closer and asked the driver if he knew the girls. He nodded yes. But to me, his head nod was not convincing and I began to think the worst. Within seconds, the girls got into the backseat of his car….I froze.

Should I run to his car and demand proof that he knows the girls? What if he knows the girls and I'm seen as the threat? Why am I the only one seeing a problem here? Why the hell are the other drivers on their darn cell phones?

WHY DON'T I HAVE A PLAN?!!!!

Who would kidnap two little girls in broad daylight and stay in line to get doughnuts? I had so many thoughts

running around in my head with absolutely no action. I managed to get the license plate number and called my boss who is an ex-law enforcement officer. The police were called and I met with an officer who investigated the incident. No one was charged in this incident, and I received no updates on the little girls.

I've always been one to hear or read about abductions and criticize others for not getting involved or not responding fast enough. Now the shoe was on the other foot and I was speechless. But, I believe all things work together and there are lessons to be learned in every situation. I believe that by sharing my ordeal, I can prepare others to respond accordingly if faced with a similar situation.

If given the chance to do things differently, I would have gently explained to the girls that I was concerned and wanted to make sure they got to school safely. I would have asked the little girls their names and what school they attended. I would have immediately made a non-emergency safety call to the police and their school. Discreetly taking pictures of the girls and the male driver would have been a good idea.

Although my initial thought was to exit my vehicle, this could have put me in danger. Overthinking and underreacting is a bad combination. Calling someone who could calmly but swiftly advise me was actually very helpful in this situation.

Human trafficking and abductions occur more often than we acknowledge. We should all educate ourselves and have a plan of action if we ever encounter questionable situations.

Mothers are the FRONTLINE of protection of our children. from all forms of abuse.. Not just your children... ALL CHILDREN

5 Steps to Protecting Children

Child sexual abuse is an adult issue.

One in 10 children in the U.S. will be sexually abused before the age of 18. Darkness to Light believes that adults are responsible for the safety of children and that adults should be taking proactive steps to protect children from sexual abuse. It is unrealistic to think that a child should be responsible for fending off sexual advances by an adult.

The 5 Steps to Protecting Children™ form a framework for preventing child sexual abuse. They can help you become aware of the scope of the issue, take actionable steps towards both preventing and responding to abuse, and create safer environments for the children in your life. They act as a guide for developing protective behaviors against abuse.

To learn practical ways to effectively implement all five steps, Darkness to Light offers Stewards of Children®, an in-depth training available both online and in-person.

https://www.d2l.org/education/5-steps/

Step 1

: Learn the Facts

If we don’t understand child sexual abuse, we can’t end it. It is highly likely that you know a child who has been or is being abused.

Step 2:

Minimize Opportunity

Safe environments can help reduce the risk for abuse. More than 80% of sexual abuse cases occur in isolated, one-on-one situations

Step 3: Talk About It

Talking openly breaks down barriers and reduces stigma. By talking openly about our bodies, sex, & boundaries we can encourage children to share.

Step 4:

Recognize the Signs

Signs of abuse aren’t always obvious, but they are often there. Emotional or behavioral changes are often the most common signs.

Step 5:

React Responsibly

It’s our responsibility to react appropriately to suspicion, disclosure, or discovery of abuse. Only 4% to 8% of reports of all sexual abuse are false.

I Keep Catching My Husband Masturbate!

Ithink he does it more than we have sex. Should I be concerned?

Although it can be jarring to catch your partner mid-masturbation, the frequency of his self-pleasure sessions shouldn’t necessarily be cause for concern.

We’re raised, especially as women, to view masturbation as a shameful act, but in reality, masturbation, like sex, has plenty of health benefits. In fact, as long as your husband’s sessions don’t become a substitute for your sex life, it really doesn’t matter how often he’s doing it.

As New York City-based relationship therapist Rachel Wright told me, you should reflect on whether you’re personally happy with the sex life you and your husband have, outside of his masturbation routine. If you are happy with the frequency of the sex you’re having together, the times he goes it solo shouldn’t be a problem.

I know it can feel like his desire for alone time, especially if it involves porn, means that he doesn’t enjoy the sex you two have, but that probably isn’t the case. For both women and men, masturbation is a normal and healthy part of life that helps with stress relief and feeling connected with your own body.

It’s quite possible that your husband has a high sex drive and, for him, masturbating is a way to experience

the physical release he craves, Wright told me. “It’s actually quite normal. Men physiologically need to have a physical release and they feel actual pressure to ejaculate,” Wright said.

Masturbation aside, if you’re happy with your relationship otherwise, Wright suggested journaling about your insecurities and talking with your friends who may be able to quell your worries.

“Ask them, ‘Does your partner do this? This is what I’m experiencing,’” Wright said. “It’s really important to have friends that you can talk to about that stuff. It’s not s--t talking your partner.”

On the other hand, if you’ve noticed that your husband’s habit has correlated with feeling less connected to him physically or emotionally, you should set aside time to talk it out with him. Obviously the conversation will be an awkward one, but if you frame it in the context of how you’ve been feeling personally, rather than blaming your husband’s actions or making blanket statements, he’ll be open to hearing your thoughts.

Wright suggested saying something like, “I’ve felt a lack in our sex life, and I’ve also noticed that you’ve been masturbating every day when I come home from work. I don’t know if those two things are correlated but I’d like to talk with you about it because the thing that’s most important to me is our connection.”

As the conversation unfolds, you can work together to decide if you should be having sex more frequently than you currently are, or if you need to spend more quality time together outside of the bedroom to work on your emotional bond and put an end to the insecurities you’re feeling.

No matter what you decide to do as a couple, remember that masturbation is nothing more than self-pleasure and exploration, and who wouldn’t want that to be part of their life with their partner?

Read the article in its entirety

https://www.insider.com/husband-masturbates-more-than-we-have-sex-is-itproblematic-2020-3

Why Smart Women Stay in Toxic Relationships

Many a times, we come across smart, emotionally intelligent women who stay stuck in harmful relationships. These are relationships where they are mistreated emotionally, physically and mentally, but they still can’t seem to let go of their partners. These amazing women know it’s wrong, and to put up with it is even worse, but their partners have a strange hold over them and they find it difficult to call it quits. Why do they do that? Here are five reasons smart women don’t walk out of toxic relationships.

The toxic partner asserts control

Bringing a smart, independent woman to heel isn’t an easy task. But a toxic person has perfected the art of doing this over the years and knows how to break his partner. Slowly but surely, he asserts control and dominance over a woman, so subtly that she won’t even notice it happening. But once it happens, she loses control over her own life and discovers that she depends on him a little too much.

He is a master manipulator

The toxic partner is good at getting things done his way. He uses emotional tactics to get his partner to do what he wants, and may also manipulate her in a way that she stops doing the things that bring her joy. Gradually, the woman may lose all sense of purpose and her personality may become a reflection of her toxic partner.

He abuses and disrespects her Abuse and disrespect in a relationship go a long way into chipping away a person’s selfesteem. The toxic partner uses this knowledge to get his partner to feel inferior and ashamed about herself. Low self-esteem is one of the commonest reasons that people stay in bad relationships.

He uses self-doubt as a weapon

This may just be the strongest weapon in a toxic person’s arsenal. He will make his partner doubt her every move, so much so that she begins to question what’s real and what’s not. She feels guilty about reacting to her partner’s mistreatment, and he makes her feel like she’s making a big issue out of nothing. He tells her everything that’s going wrong is only in her head and that she’s overreacting.

He is a pro at deceiving

The relationship is rife with lies, betrayal and deception. The toxic partner knows it’s easy to fool his partner because she trusts him. He lies to her time and again, making her feel confused, helpless and like she has no way out. He might even cut her off from her friends and family just so they wouldn’t be able to help her out.

Source - https://www.femina. in/relationships/love-sex/whysmart-women-stay-in-toxicrelationships-69997.htmlOne of

"One of the best guides to how to be self-loving is to give ourselves the love we are often dreaming about receiving from others."

Bell Hooks

USE YOUR VOICE SPEAK YOUR TRUTH

UNAPOLOGETICALLY

photo credit Tracy Ann

Hey Sunshine!

The sun has gotten a bad rap; granted, too much of it can cause sunburn and trigger those early signs of aging (wrinkles, sunspots, and sagging of the skin), but in its essence, the sun and the light (and heat) that it gives off are central to our existence—and to our health.

Sunlight can improve mood.

There’s no doubt about it, a little bit of sunshine can make a world of difference in our mood. When it’s dreary and dark, we can feel depressed and lethargic; when it’s a beautiful sunlit day, we’re happier and more energetic. This mood change isn’t only in our imagination. When light enters the eye, it stimulates neurons in the hypothalamus, a part of the brain that influences mood. These nerve impulses travel to the pineal gland, which regulates serotonin, the so-called feel-good hormone that’s linked to mood.

Sunshine may prevent us from eating too much.

The same part of the brain responsible for mood is also responsible for appetite. A recent study published in the journal Personality and Individual Differences showed that eating in a dimly lit or dark environment may trigger us to eat more.

“Darkness provides a high-risk environment for binge-eating for certain people,” says study author Joseph Kasof, who adds that those people who eat in a darkened room may find they lose their inhibitions against eating. The bottom line: Eat in a well-lit

environment and avoid eating late at night.

Sunlight helps stimulate the body’s production of vitamin D.

When the skin is exposed to the sun’s ultraviolet rays, a cholesterol compound in the skin is transformed into a precursor of vitamin D. This fat-soluble vitamin is required for the absorption of calcium by the body. It’s also necessary for growth and protects against muscle weakness. But that doesn’t mean you should sit out in the sun all day; exposing your face and arms to the sun for fifteen minutes, three days a week is an effective way to ensure adequate amounts of vitamin D in the body.

Sun can help clear up skin conditions like psoriasis.

The itchy, scaly, raised patches of skin that characterize psoriasis can be cleared up by ultraviolet light—that’s why, in general, exposing the skin to sunlight for about thirty minutes a day is recommended for those with psoriasis. (This treatment is effective for about eighty percent of people with this skin condition, who typically notice improvement within three to six weeks of starting sunlight therapy.)

Sunshine may help maintain the efficiency of the human eye.

According to R. S. Agarwal, author of Yoga of Perfect Sight, “The human eye needs light in order to maintain its efficiency. Sunlight is as necessary to the normal eye as are rest and relaxation.”

Agarwal’s suggestion: Start the day by exposing the eyes to the sun for

just a few minutes with this treatment: sit comfortably facing the sun (morning or evening when the sun isn’t as strong) with closed eyes, and sway the body from side to side gently. Continue for five to ten minutes. Then come into the shade and wash the eyes with cold water.

DON’T GET OVERHEATED.

“During the summer, the strong sun evaporates the moisture of the earth,” explain authors Gopi Warrier and Deepika Gunawant, M.D., in The Complete Illustrated Guide to Ayurveda (Element Books, 1997). That’s why sweet, cold liquids and foods are important. Avoid excessive outdoor physical exercise, hot and dehydrating foods, and foods with pungent, acid tastes (particularly if you’re a pitta type).

Click below for the full article.

Souce - https://yogainternational.com/ article/view/5-benefits-of-sunshine/

"Wherever you go, no matter what the weather, always bring your own sunshine."

Anthony J D'Angelo

LTJG Williams

At 23 years old, she is responsible for driving a multi-million dollar warship, the USS Harpers Ferry (LSD49). Meet LTJG Jasmine Williams.

Q. When were you commissioned?

A. I commissioned from Morehouse College Naval Reserves Officer Training Corps (NROTC) in December 2020.

Q. Describe the transition from the NROTC program to a commissioned officer.

A. NROTC felt very inorganic when it comes to comparing it to the actual Navy. Nothing against the instructors who brought me up, but it’s really hard to build the culture you’ll see in the Navy, at a college campus. Especially when I commissioned during COVID-19 so going from a pandemic lockdown to starting Basic Division Officer Course the next month felt surreal. It’s like “Yeah, you haven’t been on campus in about a year but we think we gave you all you need to be an officer!” I learned a lot of leadership on the fly.

Q. Where are you stationed?

A. I am stationed on Naval Base San Diego.

Q. As a young, female officer, have you faced any challenges?

A. PLENTY! Being a double

minority, I get the micro-aggression from both avenues. God forbid I try to defend myself, then get a talking to about coming off “aggressive”. I’ll see a white male officer being overly confident (even though they may be doing the bare minimum) and they get high praise. It’s very hard to break out from that without being called a Bitch. However, I rather someone think I am a Bitch, than think they can try me.

Q. Would you recommend the Navy to females? Why or why not?

A. I am all about self-care first. I can say the Navy, as a whole, has gotten better at addressing sexism, racism, etc. So joining, as a woman, you feel like you’ll be better protected overall. When it comes to representation, the military needs more women. I have been blessed to be on a ship that has a lot of Black and women representation, but I know most ships are NOT like that. The amount of women sailors that approached me when I checked in saying they don’t normally see Black women officers or officers with locs was overwhelming. There’s always someone looking up to you.

Q. Do you have any goals for your future?

A. I am still not sure about my overall future in the Navy. I would like to stay in

as long as possible (due to the amazing benefits but I definitely don’t want to be a SWO (Surface Warfare Officer) for 20-plus years.

Q. TOW interviewed you while you were in college and one of your goals was to become a world-renowned sexologist. Is this still a goal? Explain why or why not.

A. Oh man, I still would love to be paid to talk about sex topics with clients all day! I think now though, the thought of going back to school for a PhD sounds so tiring. I was in school from Pre-K to Senior year of college. Now I am in the Navy, still studying almost every day for the SWO pin. So I am slightly apprehensive about signing on for four or more years of school.

(JTJG Williams earned her Surface Warfare Officer (SWO) pin shortly after the interview) Congratulations!

I do want to go back for my Master's in Counseling Psychology and get a license

that way. I think that goal is more attainable, especially because I can still work in that realm without burning out in school. Might not be world-renown like Dr. Ruth, but I can still make a difference.

Q. How long have you been married?

A. A little over a year. My hubby and I got married in January 2022, but have been together since 2018.

Q. What is your greatest joy in being married? Greatest challenge?

A. I’ll be honest, my husband and I have been basically living together since we were in college. So getting to be with my best friend every day has always been a joy. Specific things that started up when we got married were being that main support system for each other. I wake up and see his face, I go home to him, and I can talk to him every day about everything. We are each other’s first option for advice, he’s my everything.

Q. If you could have lunch with anyone (alive or deceased) who would it be and why?

A. Easy, my maternal grandma, Moo Moo. She passed from breast cancer when I was really young, but she has a majority of the great childhood memories. I would love to ask if she is proud of me and if she likes my husband (because she was brutally honest). I would like to see how her advice differs from my mom’s or if they are similar. Having her guidance throughout my life, I think would have made life easier or just different. Her influence is still felt.

Q. You’re such a high achiever, do you have any fears? If so, name one.

A. I think being a high achiever, I’m scared of failing. I know it’s normal to fail, but it doesn’t feel good. If I don’t meet these high expectations for myself, I tend to get really inside my head. I am learning to get past that, but it’s hard.

Q. Share something about yourself that those close to you may not know.

A. I’m not sure, there’s nothing I don’t disclose to those I am close to. I will say I grew up basically with an absentee father, which those close to me know. What they may not know is that it still affects me now. It sucks doing all these great things with your life and your dad doesn’t care, but has a new child that he puts his all into... But that’s a WHOLE other topic. Some days hurt more than others, but my support system is so solid that I know I’ll be okay.

Q. What is the best advice you’ve been given?

A. I don’t know who said it, I probably heard it several times throughout my life, but you don’t have to go through the hard times by yourself. I’m very independent, so it’s hard to ask for help. Whether is counseling or just talking to a friend, I now try to talk things out with a third party so I don’t have to go through anything by myself.

Q. If you could change anything about yourself, what would it be? Why?

A. I love myself, let’s set that straight! However, I tend to be very defensive. It comes from me being bullied as a child, so now any type of criticism I receive, I tend to respond first versus understanding what a person is telling me and using it to get better.

Something The Other Woman learned while interviewing LTJG Williams is that although she is responsible for driving a multi-million dollar warship, the young, trailblazer is still learning to drive a car!

Back Cover Model

She’s from the Philippines, but her passion is in Hollywood. Meet Ms Ellen Molina!

Q. How did you decide to move to Hollywood?

A. The decision to finally make the leap of faith to move to Los Angeles to pursue acting took a long and I mean a long time. But to get to the point, my current roommate, Phil and I met in Michigan. We were both in the same theatre community as actors and created a bond outside of theatre. Our friendship is what I sometimes like to call a “Leo & Kate” kind of friendship minus the romantic stuff you have seen on screen when they are in a movie together.

Phil moved to Los Angeles before I

did. I was in Wisconsin when I had to decide which path I was going to take. It was either go to a country that was going to help me financially AND then go to Los Angeles or just go to LA with what I had and trust I'd be okay. When I discussed this inner conflict with Phil, he said something that trajected my decision to just jump. He said, “It sounds like you’re moving further away from what you really want to do.” He was right. Also, my family and friends have been encouraging and supportive of my decision to finally make the move to Hollywood. I am extremely thankful and blessed for my tribe.

Q. Have you always wanted to act?

A. Acting has been flowing through my veins since I was 10 years old. I didn’t know what “acting” really was until I was in my first play in high

school. The moment I stepped onto the stage for the first time, I knew. I just knew this was the heartbeat that no matter where or how old I was, this emotional wavelength would or could not flatline.

Q. What has been your greatest challenge in acting school?

A. The greatest challenge I had in acting school was giving myself permission to fail. Trusting my instincts is something I’m working on. Acting is not new to me. What is new are the tools I am learning and how or when to use them effectively.

Q. Any plans after acting school?

A. I will look for talent representation and eventually a manager. I will also continue to train to help keep the acting tools sharp, which is vital to my growth and wanting to excel in the craft. Even when rejections come (which is constant), I have to be prepared for when a yes is given to me.

Q. Do you have any hobbies or interests outside of acting?

A. Photography (specifically sports and journalism), working out, kickboxing, writing, movies, dancing, hanging out with family and friends, traveling to small towns, driving to nowhere.

Q. What is your dream job?

A. I don’t have a dream job. There are so many things I would love to try within the industry such as being a voice actor for an animation movie, writing and directing a short film. Oh! I want to be in a movie with Kenau Reeves!

Q. What would you tell your younger self?

A. To invest in finances. To understand why it’s important to know how money should be invested. Warn myself about allowing fear to control my decisions which made me complacent with my choices.

Q. What is your greatest fear?

A. My greatest fear is time will stop ticking for me before I can define what success means for me.

Q. Any regrets in life?

A. I regret not giving myself a chance to succeed in life, to go beyond what I know and see.

Q. What is the greatest lesson you’ve learned in life?

A. The greatest lesson I learned in life is knowing that there isn’t a perfect time to do what we want in life. We must strengthen our faith and courage to make bold choices. We only have one life to live the best way we can.

Q. Do you live your life unapologetically?

A. I am learning what it means to live my life unapologetically.

Q. What is the best advice you’ve ever been given?

A. One of my favorite movie quotes that resonate with me in this moment of my life is from the movie Coco: “Seize the moment”. Moments come and go faster than we can blink, don’t waste moments that matter.

Q. What is the most difficult decision you’ve had to make in life?

A. The most difficult decision I’ve had to make in life was letting go of a longterm relationship because I was no longer wanted.

Q. Have you met the other woman? If yes, explain how you met her.

A. I am in the process of growth and reconnection of who I am. I have been introduced to the Other Woman and I’m extremely thankful to have her evolving and continuing to stay curious in self-discovery. It took a long time to see just how beautiful this Other Woman is…

LIVE THE LIFE YOU IMAGINE.

PUSHED INTO PASSION

At a young 52 years old, Dena Sexton (Compton, California) has a hobby she loved so much she named it Wood Designs by Sexton. Although she was building a strong clientele and receiving multiple requests for wood designs, she was hesitant about turning her hobby into a business Well, life happened and after 26 years on her job, she got fired and was pushed into her passion FULL TIME!

IG: Very Sexton@ Wood Design / FB: Very Sexton Wood Design

It really started off as a hobby! I was thinking about having a website designed to showcase some of the items I make to possibly sell but I was doing just fine with referrals.

People reach out to me to ask if I can make something they need. I never know what someone is going to request and If it’s within my expertise, then I’m up for the challenge. It’s an adventure for now!

Life happened and the adventure continues!

Q. What is your favorite piece you built:

A. Oh wow, that is a hard question, because I have so many that I love. Although I love my barn doors, I would have to say my three-piece patio furniture set was a fun build and is my pride and joy!

Q. What was your most challenging piece:

A. A friend of mine sells jewelry and often sells her pieces at different locations. For this particular event, she was selling at a women’s expo and wanted unique tables. Me and my bright ideas suggested adding two shelves to each table and make them mobile by having the legs fold with the shelves attached to the bottom of the table. I could NOT figure out how to get the legs to fold. I almost

gave up, until I consulted with my wood group on Facebook. Someone suggested buying folding hinges, Duh! Once I took their advice and purchased the mechanism it made the project go much smoother. I literally wanted to cry and give up!

Q. Who taught you how to use the machinery?

A. I teach myself and YouTube is my FRIEND! I think I would buy more tools/machinery if I knew how to use them. Sometimes I know I need a tool, but I do get intimidated when it comes to using it. Such as a router. I have one and there are so many things I could use it for, but I just can’t seem to use it correctly and figure out the bits that attach to the router.

I just need more practice. I am such a visual person that I have to see the person using it to get a better idea of how to use it. But I’m confident that if I practice enough I’ll get it.

Q. What would you tell other women with a desire to pursue a hobby of interest?

A. I would encourage them immensely. People think that they don’t have the capability, but you won’t know until you try. If you try and fail, then try again. Keep at it and keep practicing.

Q. Do you have any other hobbies or interests?

A. I really enjoy spending time with family and anything outdoors, especially outdoor concerts/live music. I used to really enjoy working out which I need to get back doing because without your health you have nothing.

Q. What would you tell your younger self?

A. To explore more, travel more, and don’t be so afraid. I would also tell myself to find a job that I love doing so that it won’t feel like work. Get into a worthy career, you will thank yourself later. Lastly, don’t wait too long to have children/ child. For women, our time expires.

Q. What is your greatest fear?

A. My greatest fear is not having money! Also, the death of family members. I know we all have an expiration date, but the love that I have for my parents, my sister, brother, husband, and other loved ones scares me so much. Another big fear is wanting to change careers or quitting my job to chase my passion.

A few years ago I made a vision board, and making money from my woodworking was one of them. I’ve achieved that goal but being successful at it to replace my 9-5 would be a huge fear.

Congratulations, Dena, you conquered this fear!

Q. What is the greatest lesson you’ve learned in life?

A. You can be successful at whatever you choose to do in life, despite not having a degree. You must want it. Life is all about choices we just have to make wise ones.

Q. Have you met the other woman?

A. I finally met the other woman. She is fearless, powerful, resilient, a risk taker, and shockingly pretty talented, and that makes me smile.

"There is no passion to be found playing small - in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living."

Nelson Mandela

Not Older, Better!

Q. How would you introduce yourself to an audience who didn’t know you?

A. Hi, I’m Lara. Brace yourselves, it’s going to be a fun ride. You know, my go-to identifier for the last 35 years has been “Lara is a mother” but despite what my kids may think, I do have a few other interests. I’m a writer by design and profession, I’m a community activist, I enjoy long walks on the beach… I like to think of myself as an ambassador of joy – I want to leave something positive in my wake throughout my community, my interactions with others, and with my work. titles, schmeitles, The Other Woman ain’t got no time for titles!

Q. Do you recall when you encountered the other woman?

A. We go way back, The Other Woman and I. Having moved several times throughout my adolescence, she helped me make friends at new schools, express my true self, and smell like teen spirit. The Other Woman once performed a gymnastic floor exercise routine in front of an entire high school that we made up on the fly – to Journey’s “Open Arms,” no less! She pretended to talk to her purple rain boots to entertain passers-by as we sat outside of Latin class, having been excommunicated for my performance as genus Corydon(class clown.) She once entered a beauty pageant on a dare and won it with a stand-up comedy routine she wrote. The Other Woman and stopped hanging out so much once I had kids, but she’d pop in and burst into random song here and

there along the way. I’m unendingly grateful to a dear friend for helping me bring the Other Woman back out into the sunshine to stay – she’s older, wiser, and better than ever!

Q. What makes Lara happy?

A. Waking up. I start every day just

part of my balance. I know that I still have so much to experience and I look forward to the growth. I told my kids I am no longer getting older … from here on out, I choose only to get better.

In case you’re a new reader of TOW, Lara is a part of Team Tow! Yes, you can find her in each issue of TOW plus on her blog, The Backside of Motherhood.

Q. How long have you been writing?

A. Oh, about ten minutes at this point … I have always loved to write. I’ve been blessed to have a grammar stickler for a mother and several exceptional English teachers along the way. Thank you, Mrs. Oliver, for making 5th grade me diagram all those sentences! My first formal writing gig was as a cub reporter for the Galaxy Gazette in elementary school.

being thankful for that part. The rest is lagniappe. I love to be with my kids and grandkids in any combination, but the very very best is when I get them all in one spot at one time. That fills my heart. And then they all go home and it’s so nice and quiet.

Q. What are you learning about yourself as you age?

A. I’m learning that all of my life experiences – the joys, the struggles, the sorrows, and the successes – are

I may or may not have completed a couple of semesters as a liberal arts major in college, but I was a little too liberal if you know what I mean and the next thing I knew, I was a mother. Along the way, there may have been some PTA newsletters, a contest or two, and numerous speeches to the city council, but nothing to, ahem, write about.

Still, I’ve never stopped writing and as a result, I’ve had several paying freelance writing opportunities from blogging to feature writing for newspapers, publications, and magazines to content creating and editing. Now, if someone asks me if I’m comfortable writing, I answer, “Eh, I make a living…”

Q. Any writing goals?

A. Yes, I am just going to write and write and hope that people will read what I have to write and smile. That’s really it. Oh, yes, I also promise TOW and my Mom not to die with a book in me.

Q. What suggestions do you have for those who may like to write, but don’t think they’re good enough to publicly share their work?

A. Write like you talk – that was some great advice my grandmother, a newspaper and radio journalist, gave me. I’ve also heard that “Writing is easy. You just sit down at your typewriter … and bleed.” Then there’s my favorite, “Write drunk, edit sober!” Or is it the other way around? Whatever – your side effects may vary. Writing for yourself is cathartic, writing for others is generous, but writing simply for the sake of writing is a gift we shouldn’t waste for fear of failure. Write on!

Q. Do you have any other hobbies or other interests outside of writing?

A. I’m a Florida girl from way back, and I love the beach, boating, or just contemplating my place in the universe while I sit with my toes in the sand. I’m engaged with my neighborhood, I like to spend time with my family, I love to take a different route just to see where it goes. Along the way, I’ve managed to jump out of an airplane over the keys without peeing myself or the poor fellow I was strapped against, I’ve enjoyed Christmas Eve with the Pope at the Vatican (the one in Rome, y’all!) and I have climbed to

the top of the temple of Kukulkan at the ancient city of Mayapan (if you say that last part in a robust and authoritative voice, it sounds so impressive.) The world is filled with stuff to do – the ordinary and the amazing – and I just want to soak it all up like a sponge.

Q. How many children/ grandchildren-

A. I’m a mother of four (and their “plus ones”) and a grandmother of four.

Q. Did becoming a grandmother change you in any way? How?

A. I was still mothering when I started grandmothering, so there wasn’t a big change – it all just kind of flowed together. My grandparents set the bar so high that at first, I was a little nervous. I worried that my only legacy would be to instill those poor babies with a bad taco habit, a penchant for punning, and a song for every occasion. Then I thought, well hey, that’s not so bad…

Q. What has been the most challenging part of being a mother of adult children?

A. Not saying, “I told you so.” I’m afraid if I let it out even once, I’d never be able to stop myself henceforth and it would flow like an eternal fountain. Therefore, I suffer in silent agony with the burning knowledge that (Lara looks over both shoulders, then lowers her typing to a whisper) I was right.

Q. What is one piece of advice you’d give to married couples?

A. We celebrated our 33rd wedding anniversary on March 3rd this year.

Don’t listen to other people’s marriage advice! Lol! We’re children of divorced parents and I guess we both entered into our marriage with the intention of sticking it out, no matter what. There is no “trick” to being married, it’s just been us against the world from the beginning. We ride out the highs and lows together, we laugh a lot, we try to learn from our mistakes and we express appreciation for each other every day. I’m sure it sounds cliché, but he really is my best friend.

"Positive mental health leads to positive emotional, spiritual, and physial wellbeing."

Yvonne Bedgood Scott (FL) Youth Activity Coordinator

The Other Woman's Health Journey and Let's Go Berry Crazy!

Berries are bursting with antioxidants and nutrients High in fiber, help fight inflammation, and have countless other health benefits including for your heart and skin!

Blackberries - BlueberriesCranberries - Raspberries

Strawberries - Acai berries

Goji berries - Aronia berries

Elderberries

Cloudberries - KiwiberriesBilberries (huckleberries)

Ginseng berries - Gooseberries

Grapes (yes, grapes are in the berry family)

Cherries

Maqui Berry, and many more!

"Ladies, break your fast with berries. Berries are good for the pituitary gland and I think that women should have berries every day for breakfast - that will regulate your menstrual cycle."

Yahki Awakened

Master Herbalist and Biochemist

QuiAri products are powered by Maqui. All the way from Patagonia, Chile, the Maqui Berry supplies people around the world with antioxidants and essential nutrients to help you power through your day. QuiAri is the first to bring this purple berry to the marketplace and is helping people get healthy and live their best life!

Weightlifting

is beneficial for women at any age. It improves muscle mass and strength,

Stretch Yourself Beyond Your Comfort Zone

Everyone has a story. IG @jusbrocc

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The Value Of The Vagina

The vagina, what is it and why is it so important? Well, for one thing, the vagina is responsible for the existence of life and mankind.

Women are important to this world and important to our existence, why do you suppose we called this planet “Mother Earth.” Someone once said, “A nation could rise no higher than its woman”. It is with this motivation that I write this article.

The vagina has endured the object of nasty remarks and names that are not worthy of its being. The two vulgar words that often describe a vagina are “cunt” and “pussy”. The word cunt dates back to 1250 in England and the origin of the word Pussy is seriously debated. Some believe it came from the Latin word “puss” which means “pocket pouch” and others believe it came from another Latin word “pusillanimous” which means cowardly.

That’s why a male would call another male a pussy. If you can believe this, the word pussy started during the sixteenth century and it was used as a word of endearment to describe women and didn’t have a sexual connotation until around the nineteenth century. The word Pussy got popularized in the porno industry. However, the more scientific term is vagina. It too, comes from a Latin word “Vulva” which means a wrapper for the uterus, and “Vagina” which means “sheath, scabbard.” For example, much like how shuck covers an ear of corn. Now, why do black folks refer to the vagina as a “Coochie”? It came from a Spanish word for belly dancing and gyrating movements.

However, the vagina is the most valuable thing on planet Earth. Human sexuality is one of the reasons the vagina is so popular and is in high demand. It is vital for human reproduction and it plays a major role in sexual satisfaction. It is a canal that is soft and elastic that is sought after by all mankind. Galen, a premiere medical researcher of the Roman Empire suggests that the vagina is an inside-out penis. In other words, if you could push a man’s penis inside his body you would end up with a vagina. Maybe that’s what they do in gender transplant surgery (I don’t know).

However, the vagina is only used for a few purposes: urination, sexual intercourse, and childbirth.

Only if you knew how valuable it is, you would go to the Lloyds of London and insure it. Ladies, you are sitting on a “hot” commodity. It is one thing that men spend a few minutes getting out of at birth but spends the rest of their lives trying to get back into it as often as they can. Many men have lost their lives over it. Men try to claim it for themselves

It is more valuable than silver, gold, diamonds, or platinum. Yeah baby, you are carrying around a gold mind. In fact, it is the biggest sources of the money flow around the world. It so important, that in most cultures there are legal restrictions on it use. Did you know there are more than 200 laws regulating the vagina and not one govern the penis?

It is also a source of power that people want to control, direct, and own because it could make them wealthy. Think about it for a minute, the amount of money it has made in prostitution, pornography, erotic entertainment, etc. The people in control of vagina can make tremendous amounts of money. It is so valuable that a whole industry is dedicated to selling products to keep it clean and fresh and to my knowledge there none for the penis. Women must learn to manage the vagina or learn Vagina Management 101 and become a good Vagina Manager because it is a valuable commodity and it is better than money, real estate, stocks, or bonds. I use the vagina as a metaphor for women to make a point; everywhere I used the word “vagina” substitute for the word “women.” That I mean, control your own life you have the power because you have the vagina. Once you “overstand” vice “understand” your mental power then you won’t let men manipulate you (it’s a lot packed in those words “overstand” and ‘man’ipulate).

Control your own life... you have the power because you have the vagina.

VERNON WATSON (reprint)

“God gave man the strength to conquer the world, but God gave woman a vagina to conquer man.”

‘3 Ms of Flourishing: Mindset, Mindfulness, Motivation’

focused few”.

With mindfulness, we control our brains instead of controlling us. The research of Dr. Albert Ellis, informs us that we react, not to events, but to what we THINK about those events. Mindfulness can help us make a healthy, wise choice, enabling growth & life. When our anxiety is peaking and our mind is everywhere but here, remember to: “Pull into PORT:”

1. Pause and take a deep breath. Feel how that breath impacts your body.

2. Observe our thoughts & feelings without judgment. Recognize anxiety, stress, anger, etc.

“It’s not how hard you hit, it’s how hard you can GET hit, and KEEP MOVING FORWARD,” says Rocky Balboa.

We can choose to be defeated, maintain status quo and merely exist or we can grow through adversity, move forward and flourish. We have a choice to LIVE life and Mindset, Mindfulness and Motivation can help us do just that.

Mindset: More specifically, what Stanford University Psychology professor, Dr. Carol Dweck, calls a “Growth” Mindset, enables us to see opportunities instead of roadblocks. With a growth mindset, we rephrase, “I don’t know” to “I don’t know, YET.” To F.A.I.L. is merely our First Attempt At Learning, it is not defeat. In the words of Dr. John Maxwell, we do not win or lose, but “win or learn”. Losing only occurs with a lack of trying.

Mindfulness: In the words of “Deep Work” author & Mathematician Cal Newport, “Leave the distracted masses & join the

3. Reflect on this question, “What is important right now?”. At a job interview, this may be presenting our best self, DESPITE our nerves. As a parent, this may be our child feeling loved, supported and guided, DESPITE how angry we may be.

4. Take purposeful action. The answer to “What is important right now?” will determine the actions taken. It may be knocking the socks off that HR person interviewing us, it may be respectfully communicating with our child vice yelling.

Motivation: When we understand what motivates us, when we are able to “Be As Built,” we can operate with an unbreakable confidence. This can be revealed by a few critical thinking catalysts, such as, “What keeps me up at night?”, “What distracts me?”, “What’s my 5-9?”, “Why Do I Walk the Planet?”, “What Is My Purpose”, or

as Simon Sinek phrases it, “What is my Why”. To put it in mathematical terms, A “Why Equation” may be beneficial. Consider this:

P=B+V+P (Purpose=Beliefs, Values, Principles). Knowing our personal (not someone else’s) beliefs, values, and principles, allows us to begin to see what is important to us and “what makes us tick”. Basing our decisions on the result of that thought experiment, we begin to operate in our purpose. This results in internal motivation, no matter the situation. In the words of Lyricist Andy Mineo “We can make moves or make excuses”. Let us choose the moves of Mindset, Mindfulness and Motivation to create Momentum, to keep Moving Forward, to Flourish.

Dr. Ricky E. Higby Jr. Speaker, Educator, Life Coach Resilience, Suicide Prevention, Andragogy #BeAsBuilt

334-233-7794

rehigby@gmail.com

www.linkedin.com/in/ricky-higby

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DR. RICKY HIGBY

We Create Our Own Midlife Crisis

how we see ourselves. This creates a false narrative causing people to follow media-driven images of how they pattern their lives to stay relevant. In this case, relevant to the masses. A midlife crisis can also be self-defining because of divorce, watching our children leave the family nest, or watching our parents grow old and eventually die.

ROBERT L CONGRESS

www.robertlcongress.com

How does society define what a midlife crisis is? It is a particularly loaded question that means different things to different people. I would imagine where one finds themself in life is the number one factor in determining or defining the term. I also believe things like age, gender, and cultural differences to be key factors. The low-hanging fruit for this topic typically centers around age and accomplishmentlet us start there. Most people do not know mid-life begins around the age of thirty-five, as defined by the so-called gatekeepers of one’s expiration date. For those who subscribe to that belief, knowing life expires at age seventy must be terrifying!

Why do we spend so much time worrying or focusing on the inevitable - death. Life is about living and not looking for the fountain of youth, which is nonexistent. We allow someone else’s status or notoriety to dictate

A midlife crisis can also involve people who reach a certain age and do not have children to carry on their name or family legacy. Many women

view themselves as failures when they cannot produce or have children by a certain age. Most men, admittedly or not, at a certain age, become fearful of maintaining or losing their youthfulness, as it relates to their ability to perform sexually, which results in many turning to medicinal remedies to help maintain or extend their sexual prowess-an ego-driven crisis causing stress and bouts of depression.

I now know that a great deal of the depression I experienced after the age of forty was the direct result of my inability for years to accept the fact that I was aging. Growing

up playing sports and being very competitive, I distinctly recall challenging my sons and taunting them because they couldn’t outrun me. As I began to age, I initially struggled with the belief or acceptance that I was no longer the athletic person I once was. My point is quite simple; it wasn’t the fact I couldn’t effectively compete as an athlete anymore, it was my acceptance that those days had ended. I may not lace up my basketball sneakers or football cleats anymore, but that same kid remains inside me today.

Now as a proud 60-year young man, yes you heard it correctly. I sometimes watch other aging people who decide they can no longer dress in a youthful or fashionable way anymore because it goes against the order of getting older, or they may stop doing things like listening to certain music for fear of how others may view them. My message to those people is you have one life to live, and you alone are the arbiter of your life. Stop allowing society to determine your life’s journey and be the bold and unique person you were meant to be.

“As I began to age, I initially struggled with the belief or acceptance that I was no longer the athletic person I once was.”

Man is Having a Midlife Crisis

Sports cars and hairpieces. Robbing the cradle and running away. Sure they’re cliche, but if these images leap to mind when you hear the words “midlife crisis,” you’re not alone.

The thing about cliches, though, is most are based on fact. In this case, the facts are staggering. More than half of respondents to a poll on Notmuch. com, a website produced by Wisconsin Public Radio, said that the midlife crisis is a “very real, gut-wrenchingly depressing experience that we all go through at one time or another.”

1. He says life is a bore

If your man once liked his job and was happy at home but now expresses restlessness or apathy, he might be headed for a midlife crisis.

2. He is thinking about (or already is) having an affair

Has your longtime, faithful husband had a wandering eye lately? “Can a wife prevent a midlife affair? Probably not,” says Pat Gaudette, founder of The Midlife Wives Club and co-author of “How to Survive Your Husband’s Midlife Crisis.” “She can confront, demand, give ultimatums, but if a man is amid crisis he won’t be listening.”

3. He is suddenly making impetuous decisions about money and/or his career

Pay attention if your husband suddenly loses interest in his career, wants a different one or splurged on that red Ferrari he always dreamed of driving (even though you have a mortgage to pay). These actions are indicative of

your man’s sudden desire to live life to its fullest. He’s probably thinking, “Maybe I can make up for all the things I let slip by in my youth.”

4. He makes a dramatic change in his personal style or appearance and is suddenly spending lots of time in front of a mirror

If your man has kicked up the vanity a notch (for example, wants hair plugs or starts getting facials even though he used to take pleasure in shower-free weekends), then you may have a problem.

5. He has little interest in spending time (or having sex) with you

For couples who had a nonexistent sex life before reaching midlife, less nookie over 50 doesn’t necessarily mean hubby is in crisis. But if he seems to be struggling with his self-esteem or is generally unhappy, sex might become an additional burden to him. On the other hand, if he’s having an affair, he might actually get friskier with you so you don’t suspect. And, again, ask your husband about anything that’s confusing you. The experts agree that good communication skills are important to any marriage and are especially useful during a midlife crisis—his or yours!

6. He is drinking too much or abusing other substances

This one is obvious. The smell of liquor on his breath, empty bottles around the house, bloodshot eyes and erratic behavior are all indications that your man might have a serious drinking problem.

7. He is displaying the classic signs of depression — sleeping more, loss of appetite, malaise

This behavior is often the result of a family tragedy such as a parent’s death or another type of shock to the system such as getting laid off from a longtime job. Difficult life events can also trigger depression and exacerbate a midlife crisis. Although the American Psychological Association reports that depression affects more than 6 million men every year, many men choose to ignore the signs because they consider it “unmanly” to admit they feel blue and out of sorts. If you see these symptoms in your man, you can definitely encourage him to see a therapist, psychologist or even a religious leader who can counsel him.

8. He is overly nostalgic and constantly reminiscing about his youth or his first love

At midlife, some men start to ponder “what if,” and they question their past decisions.

"Women's liberation and the male midlife crisis were the same search - personal fulfillment, common values, mutual respect, love. But while women's liberation was thought of as promoting identity, the male midlife crisis was thought of as an identity crisis."

Warren Farrell

Skills Pay Bills

DONNIE WINN

Iwas born in 1970 to two very young Baby Boomers during tumultuous times. My father was drafted into the Vietnam War when I was delivered on his birthday, May 14th. My mother was barely out of high school and still living at home. They later divorced when I was six years old and my mother remarried shortly afterwards.

During my toddler years, I stayed with my grandma quite a bit. She lived in poverty, yet worked hard to provide for her younger children as well as me. Her love meant the world to me and her love was never in short supply.

Once I got a bit older, I was a latchkey child. I learned early on how to make my own breakfast, get dressed, go to school, and make snacks upon returning home. My parents and stepparents worked hard to make a living, we may not have had a lot of money, but there was always food on the table and a roof over my head. All of them encouraged decent moral values and work ethics and encouraged me to do the best I could in school.

My father picked me up every other Sunday to visit. As a teenager, sometimes I worked with him during the week. He took on my grandfather’s plumbing business which meant some hard laboring like using a jackhammer. During this time my dad also taught me some financial lessons. If I spent my paycheck over the weekend and got hungry during the workday, he would refuse to buy me lunch. It didn’t take me too long to learn the value of a dollar or how to spend wisely.

Not interested in college because I wasn’t interested in any particular subject, just before graduating high school I joined the United States Navy. I did very well, making rank each time I was allowed and made it from E1 to E6 in a bit over 7 years. I loved being a sailor and I picked up a loving

wife along the way. We’ve been married 31 years and have two lovely children, both of whom are adults now.

In 1999, I left the Navy and decided to join the Merchant Navy. Through sheer will and fortitude, I managed to become a Supply Boat Master of my own vessel. An awesome job! In true GenX fashion, I manage a crew of younger and older guys. I bridge the gap between two generations of workers which is both challenging and rewarding.

I am not sure who coined it, but my favorite quote is, “Skills pay bills.” Three words that encapsulate my philosophy. I believe that every person's highest moral goal should be achieving their own happiness. In achieving happiness, their values need to be rationally sound. This means they have no contradictions in their beliefs. Doing so ensures short and long-term values that contribute to success in life which, in turn, pay bills–even just the basics like having a home, clothing, and food on the table.

“At the working man’s house, hunger looks in but dares not enter.”

Benjamin Franklin

6 Truths About Men and Sex

J WATSON PhD, LMFT, LPC

LAURIE

Over my career as a sex therapist, I have had the opportunity to sit with thousands of men as they've discussed their sexual feelings, sex lives, and fantasies. Obviously, I don’t know what it feels like to be a man, but I have had the honor of listening to the male perspective on sexual relationships. And while every man is different, of course, there are some common themes:

1. Sex begins in the body. While women’s desire for sex may be prompted by their mind, memory, or emotional feelings of connection, for men desire is physical. Men have massive amounts of testosterone coursing through their bodies, pushing and driving them toward sexual expression. Erections spring at the slightest provocation in young men. And for an adult man, seeing his wife or partner coming out of the shower naked causes his body to react. It is hard to overestimate the way his body chemistry directs his mind’s psychology toward the sexual.

2. For men, sex is a hunger. Yes, he wants to be full. But his craving for sex is like a craving for chocolates: Each sexual episode holds the exquisite possibility of a surprise-filled confection — maybe creamy smooth, or buttery rich, perhaps a little raw and bittersweet, or silky sweet. His mind is captivated by the thought of an opportunity to feel delighted and surprised. A day

is hardly complete without dessert. Yet, the context of the relationship — for instance, a fight with his wife — can still spoil his appetite.

3. Sex is energy. Sexuality infuses a man’s intimate relationships with potential and excitement. The hormonal energy gives him the drive and aggression to pursue his life’s purpose and work and to pursue his partner. He pushes through daily monotony, tantalized by the fantasy of a sexual reward at the end of a hard day.

4. Sex is excitement. It’s life's most thrilling adventure. His body is a great pleasure machine that he’d like to enjoy at full throttle. Since orgasm is usually reliable and easy, a variety of sexual acts, positions, and rhythms seem to be a fantastic way to explore and elevate his gratification. Every flirtation, smile, innuendo, shapely figure, or sexual image, whether fantasized or real, is a hit on the male brain. His brainwaves spike with elation just at the hint of something or someone reminding him of sex.

5. Sex is the way he gives love. The moment his partner gets turned on is often the moment men describe as most sexually satisfying. It’s baffling to men when they are called selfish because of their preference for sexual connection. In their hearts, there is an expectation of mutual, exquisite bodily pleasure. He often concocts and fantasizes about how to make it better for her, begging for information about her erotic desires, just so he can

improve as a lover.

6. Sex is love. Sexual release makes men feel like they are finally home. After the world’s hurts and challenges, sex embodies love and care and provides soothing and support. While he may be accused of “only wanting sex,” most men want and feel a much more emotional connection than a simple bodily release. Making love literally creates a deep feeling of attachment to his partner and spurs relational generosity, faith, and optimism. Being desired by his partner can be the single most reassuring part of his relationship.

While most women may wish for an emotional connection before having a physical connection, for men sexual connection is often necessary to feel safe enough for emotional vulnerability. Ultimately, male sexual drive in a relationship is a gift — it’s another path toward love.

"Women want to talk first, connect first, then have sex. For men, sex is the connection. Sex is man's language of intimacy."

Esther Perel

Daddy Said...

I was the son my father didn't have. He raised me to be an independent woman and taught me to think like a man to survive in this man's world. When I joined the Navy, Daddy's training was extremely beneficial to me.

The statements I make regarding men are not because I'm a man-hater but because I understand and accept the nature of the beast, and as long as I have a voice I will unapologetically share my thoughts.

I love men, but I love myself more. When a woman knows her worth, she'll be able to sift through the BS, the lies, and recognize the subtle manipulation tactics of men. Ladies, until you are loved as you deserve to be loved, don't be afraid to live joyfully and peacefully as the phenomenal woman you are. It's okay to live without being coupled, setting, or compromising your Self just to say you have a man. It's okay to be one with yourself...it really is.

laVender shedrick williams

"A man will tell you what you want to hear to get what he wants."

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