HoweEnterprise.com
September 28, 2020
Which budget system is best for me? Hey Taylor: I’m looking at different options for budgeting software and keep hearing about various Taylor styles of budgeting. I always Kovar thought the options were to save money or spend it, but I guess there’s more to it? — Diego Hey Diego: Budgeting can be as simple or as complicated as you choose to make it. It’s almost always difficult for people whose finances aren’t in great shape, but the approach you take to getting organized usually comes down to personal preference. The different systems. Not sure which names you’ve heard, but I most commonly see the traditional “50/30/20” budget, zero-based budgeting, and what some people call the “pay yourself first” method. The traditional is a simplified system of putting 50% of your earnings toward your needs, 30% toward the stuff you want, and 20% into savings. I push most clients toward a 70/10/10/10 (needs, wants, investments, charity), but it follows the same philosophy. Zero-based budgeting is great for people trying to overcome bad habits or who just love meticulous planning. Every time you get paid, you assign every dollar a job; everything is categorized from rent to clothing to travel to insurance, so you have to know exactly what your necessary spending is each month before you move on to the fun stuff. With the pay yourself first model, you put as much into savings as possible and then try to spend very frugally on everything else. What works for you? If anyone tells you their budgeting approach is the best and will work for anyone who tries it, they’re lying. A
friend of mine who works for a budgeting company (YNAB) often tells potential customers that the YNAB system isn’t right for everyone. It comes down to how your brain works and what’s going to help you make the best financial decisions. If that means labeling a bunch of envelopes and filling them with $5 bills, so be it. The bottom line. Whatever style you choose, the most important thing is setting rules and sticking to them. It’s very easy to overspend and blame it on your circumstances, so you need to find a system that helps you hold yourself accountable. Some months you might not have money to put toward charity or savings, but you should at least find a method that helps you improve your situation instead of making it worse. I recommend trying the different apps with free trial periods to see what you feel comfortable with.
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Living with children Q: My husband and I are not on the same page when it comes to our just-turned fouryear-old son. He thinks our son’s John behavior is a Rosemond phase that he will outgrow. To me, his defiance and tantrums are alarming and need to be dealt with now to prevent them from getting worse. Most recently, he has started hitting and kicking us when he doesn’t get his way. My husband responds by talking and compromising. Ugh! What is your take on this?
It’s essential to budget thoughtfully, so asking questions is a great place to start. Try out different things until you find what works for you, then enjoy the financial rewards. Best of luck!
A: When a young child discovers that his parents are not in agreement concerning his discipline, it’s Katie-bar-the-door, and make no mistake, a child can and will figure this out as early as age two. Furthermore, it is largely myth that children “outgrow” behavior problems. More often than not, they grow into them, meaning the behavior problems in question worsen and proliferate over time.
Legal Disclaimer: Information presented is for educational purposes only and is not an offer or solicitation for the sale or purchase of any specific securities, investments, or investment strategies. Investments involve risk and, unless otherwise stated, are not guaranteed. Be sure to first consult with a qualified financial adviser and/or tax professional before implementing any strategy discussed herein. To submit a question to be answered in this column, please send it via email to Question@GoFarWithKovar.com or via USPS to Taylor Kovar, 415 S 1st St, Suite 300, Lufkin, TX 75901.
Quite frankly, your son’s behavior is bad enough as it is. Some lingering stubbornness in response to instructions is to be expected (albeit not tolerated) at this age, but full-blown defiance and tantrums are indication, clearly, that you folks failed to get over the “hump” of toddlerhood. You’re stuck on its upslope and you’re going to remain stuck there until you both come to grips with the potential seriousness of your family situation. This is the sort of scenario that eventually leads to a bogus (i.e. unscientific) psychological diagnosis like attention deficit or oppositionaldefiant disorder and a prescription for a medication that can cause more problems than it solves (if it solves any). Your son’s current penchant for hitting is indication of where things are going; that is, steadily worse. The standard length of a newspaper column requires that I come straight to the point: your
husband’s response, as wellintentioned as it may be, is enabling your son’s misbehavior. First, a child this age, especially one who has discovered that he holds the trump card, cannot be reasoned with. Second, if you give a domestic terrorist an inch, as in attempting to compromise with him, he will eventually take the proverbial mile. Get it together, dad! You are rapidly falling into the trap of valuing your relationship with your son over your relationship with your wife. Job One is to be a good husband which, in this case, means letting your son know that his respect and obedience is not an option. Stop talking and appeasing and act! Wear big-boy pants! Man up, dude! (The preceding message is intended for many contemporary fathers, by the way.) The good news is that a solution can still be brought about rather simply: On any given day, your son gets three “strikes.” Failure to immediately obey is a strike. The first hint of a tantrum is a strike. Hitting is three strikes. Strike one results in confinement to his room, which you strip of any “entertainment value,” for thirty minutes. Strike two, an hour. Strike three, the rest of the day and early bedtime (as in, immediately after the evening meal). Enforce the plan without reminders, warnings, or second chances and you should be over the aforementioned “hump” within four to six weeks. At that point, it’s simply a matter of staying the course. Family psychologist John Rosemond: johnrosemond.com, p arentguru.com. John Rosemond has worked with families, children, and parents since 1971 in the field of family psychology. In 1971, John earned his masters in psychology from Western Illinois University and was elected to the Phi Kappa Phi National Honor Society.
