Monday, July 30, 2018
howeenterprise.com
Living with children When Baby Boomers get together we often talk about our observations of parenting in these postmodern times, one of which is that today’s parents seem, as a rule, John Rosemond to want to be liked by their children, to want to be their children’s friends. That, we agree, is very odd. What is lacking in the life of an adult that they want to be liked by a child? we ask. Furthermore, what could it possibly mean that a child – an emotionally immature, ignorant (no matter how smart) human being – likes you? Or, at any given moment in time, does not?
Said parent interprets his child’s emotional outbursts as evidence (a) he has done something wrong and needs to correct it or (b) that something is wrong in his child’s life and he needs to discover it and fix it. That boils down to the child being in COMPLETE CONTROL of the relationship. The parent-child relationship, therefore, is inverted, which is bad for both parties. Fourth, we have defined a codependent relationship in which said parent becomes an enabler. In this case, the job of the adult enabler is to always make sure his child is happy. What’s wrong with that? a reader shouts.
Because that is not in your job description, which says you are to prepare your child for responsible Well, to begin with, it means to the living in the real world, and the parent in question that he or she is real world is full of doing a splendid job. Being liked disappointment, failure, loss, and by one’s child is the measure of a other stuff that isn’t “happy.” parent these days, or so it seems. If Accepting those realities is to you are not liked, then you need become emotionally resilient, and correction and you will know when emotional resilience is key to you have corrected yourself personal satisfaction. It is more sufficiently when your child begins important than success. Truly to like you, or like you again. It is happy people are not in indeed odd that grown-ups – or codependent relationships with supposed grown-ups –think in those dedicated personal enablers. terms. (If you happen to be one of People who are being enabled the parents in question, and you are have not had to accept full offended at my characterization of responsibility for state of their you, fine. Offense may be lives. Their enablers are the prerequisite to your coming to your responsible parties. senses.) Fifth, enabled people almost What is so bad about wanting to be always think of themselves as your child’s friend? the reader may victims. Enabling always fails. No ask. It is an excellent question with amount can defeat life’s realities. at least five bads: So, enabled people are unhappy; either angry unhappy or depressed First, a parent’s task is to raise a unhappy. child out of childhood into adulthood. To accomplish that All of which is why I am requires a parent who acts capable convinced that the post-1960s of the heavy lifting often required. phenomenon of parents trying to The parent-friend lowers himself to be their kids’ friends is a major his child’s level (the child, after all, contributor to childhood, and cannot rise to the level of the adult), especially adolescent, mental thus rendering himself so incapable. health problems. Second, a parent who desires, above all else, wonderful relationship with one’s child is incapable of delivering effective discipline. Discipline, if it is properly corrective, does not make the recipient feel warm and fuzzy toward the agent of correction. That is contrary to the intent of having a wonderful relationship, because the overarching Rule of such is “Thou shalt never make thy child upset at you.” Third, and for the reason immediately above the parent in question allows himself to be manipulated by his child’s emotional output, which becomes, over time, more and more uncivil.
If you think you can defend your attempt to be your child’s friend, I’d love to hear from you. Email me at radio@rosemond.com. If I use your defense in a future column, rest assured I won’t use your name. Family psychologist John Rosemond: johnrosemond.com, parentguru.com. John Rosemond has worked with families, children, and parents since 1971 in the field of family psychology. In 1971, John earned his masters in psychology from Western Illinois University and was elected to the Phi Kappa Phi National Honor Society.
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Howe ISD Free and Reduced-Price Meals Howe ISD announced its policy today for providing free and reduced-price meals for children served under the attached current income eligibility guidelines. Each school/site or the central office has a copy of the policy, which may be reviewed by anyone on request.
information provided is correct
Criteria for Free and Reduced-Price Meal Benefits The following criteria will be used to determine a child’s eligibility for free or reduced-price meal benefits: Income 1. Household income that is at or below the income eligibility levels Categorical or Automatic Eligibility 2. Household receiving Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP), Temporary Assistance for Needy Families (TANF); or Food Distribution Program on Indian Reservations (FDPIR) Program Participant 3. Child’s status as a foster child, homeless, runaway, migrant, or displaced by a declared disaster 4. Child’s enrollment in Head Start or Even Start
Any household that wishes to decline benefits should contact Brett Williams, Director of Operations Howe ISD.
Categorical or Program Eligibility Howe ISD is working with local agencies to identify all children who are categorically and program eligible. Howe ISD will notify the households of these Starting on August 20th, 2018 Howe children that they do not need to will begin distributing letters to the complete an application. Any households of the children in the household that does not receive a district about eligibility benefits and letter and feels it should have any actions households need to take should contact the office at your to apply for these benefits. child’s school.
Applications may be submitted anytime during the school year. The information households provide on the application will be used for the purpose of determining eligibility. Applications may also be verified by the school officials at any time during the school year.
Determining Eligibility Under the provisions of the free and reduced-price meal policy, Brett Williams, Director of Operations will review applications and determine eligibility. Households or guardians dissatisfied with the Income Eligibility Reviewing Official’s eligibility For those households that qualify for determination may wish to free or reduced-price meals based on discuss the decision with the income, an adult in the household Reviewing Official on an must fill out free and reduced-price informal basis. Households meal application and return it to wishing to make a formal appeal your child’s campus. Those for a hearing on the decision may individuals filling out the application make a request either orally or in will need to provide the following writing to Kevin Wilson, information: Superintendent of Schools, 9031. Names of all household 532-3228. members 2. Amount, frequency, and source Unexpected Circumstances of current income for each If a household member becomes household member unemployed or if the household 3. Last 4 digits of the Social size increases, the household Security number of the adult should contact the school. Such household member who signs the changes may make the children application or, if the adult does not of the household eligible for have a social security number, check benefits if the household’s the box for income falls at or below the “No Social Security number” attached current income 4. Signature of an adult household eligibility guidelines. member attesting that the
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