howeenterprise.com
Monday, August 10, 2015
Traveling Ten Commandments
Page #14
Former HHS teachers reunite
5. Thou shalt not get off the plane before those in front of me: If I’m in row 15, the lady from row 24 barreling down the aisle to get off the plane might “accidentally” receive a hip-check.
by Chris Campbell My job requires me to travel frequently. As a veteran business traveler I have developed good habits that make travel easier on both myself as well as the people around me. Unfortunately not everyone around me is as concerned about their fellow man. Instead they treat travel in the same manner our nation has chosen to ‘embrace’ the Ten Commandments. Therefore I have found it necessary to create my own Traveling Ten Commandments. 1. Thou shalt not bring food on the plane: While I love all manner of cuisine, pico de gallo, baked ziti and General Tso’s chicken in a compressed area at 35,000 feet is unpleasant for everyone NOT eating it. 2. Remember the armrest and keep it holy: This is a sort of demilitarized zone that belongs to no one. It is a sacred, off-limits area. 3. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s book: The creepy dude that finds your latest biography purchase more interesting than his Sudoku puzzle and insists on reading along with you needs to be dealt with.
6. Thou shalt not lie: The average plane has 16-20 first class seats. When the airline employee announces the boarding of first class, and FIFTY people rush to get in line…someone is LYING! Those caught lying should be made to board last AND have their luggage sent to Cedar Rapids.
Donal Gilstrap, Pat Stewart and Larry Macon. Photo courtesy of Janie Finney
7. Thou shalt leave thy shoes on: Modern technology has made wonderful advancements in the area of controlling foot order, but nothing does it better than KEEPING YOUR SHOES ON YOUR FEET! 8. Thou shalt bathe, brush and deodorize: Do I really need to elaborate? 9. Thou shalt walk in a single file: The family of five walking in a Red Rover line through the airport recounting their trip to Disney is not doing me any favors while I’m racing to catch my connecting flight to Toledo.
Bill Martin and Donna Jarma. Photo courtesy of Janie Finney
10. Thou shalt keep thy cell phone conversations to thyself: There is a race that begins the moment the wheels of the airplane touches the ground…who can make the first phone call! The race is usually between two people: (1) Joe Businessman, who wants his fellow The gathering of the knowledgeable at Bettye Mullins' house. Photo travelers to hear about the deal he courtesy of Bettye Mullins was working on prior to takeoff AND wants us all to get an update of what happened while in the air, and (2) Susie Dingaling who needs the scoop on what’s going on that evening, what everyone is wearing, and if the restaurant makes a good Appletini.
4. Honor the community bathroom: Gentlemen, put the seat down for the ladies, please. And YOUR decision to eat Chipotle before boarding the two hour trip to Chicago was just that – YOUR Please take these commandments to decision! Do not make the rest of hear as you embark on your next us suffer for your poor choices. journey.
Pat Stewart, Jo Etta Penn, Kathy Clements, Bettye Mullins, Terri Landes and Janie Finney. Photo courtesty of Bettye Mullins
