HeartLight Highlight Vol. 2 "Finding the Facts on Suicide & Suicide Prevention"

The

Vol II

ighlight

Finding the Facts on Suicide & Suicide Prevention See pg. 3

Support Groups

Heart to Heart

Upcoming Event

9

5 & 15

16 & 17

IN THIS ISSUE

AFSP Statistics

2

Cover Article

3

Resources

7

Supporting Someone Who is Grieving

8

HeartLight Happenings

9

Heart to Heart

5 & 15

HeartLight Expansion HeartLight Events

11 16 & 17

UPCOMING EVENTS Hook, Slice, HeartLight June 3rd, 2024 Pradera Country Club

720-748-9908 info@heartlightcenter.org https://heartlightcenter.org/

11150 E Dartmouth Ave Denver, CO 80014 The HeartLight Highlight is published by the HeartLight Center (HLC). No part of this magazine may be reproduced in any format without prior written consent from the publisher. All requests for permission to reprint must be made to mhogan@heartlightcenter.org.

Advertisements appear in HeartLight Highlight.

Advertising does not influence editorial decisions or content.

HeartLight Highlight © 2023 HeartLight Center All rights reserved

A Letter From our Executive Director Jenn Flaum, LCSW, MBA

Suicide rates have increased. In 2021, Children’s Hospital declared a state of emergency due to increased youth suicide. Billboards on I-25 advertise the suicide crisis line. We are more connected through technology than ever before, yet for many, we have never felt more alone.

“I had nowhere to go.”

“We need the resource so badly.”

“I found HeartLight and then I found myself again.”

“HeartLight saved my life.”

At HeartLight, we hear you. Over the last two years HeartLight has received several requests for groups for people who had lost a loved one to suicide. In April, 2022 HeartLight offered our first virtual and in person support groups, specific to suicide loss. Today, HeartLight offers a loss to suicide group in Denver and Delta. In New Mexico and Denver we formed teams to participate in the Out of the Darkness Walk with the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. Anyone in the country is invited to join our virtual loss to suicide group.

At HeartLight, we offer sacred space for people to connect with one another. People have the courage to walk into support groups for the first time, some unable to speak because grief is so fresh. And they are invited to sit next to people who lost their loved one over seven years ago. One griever can say to another, it gets better…you will be ok…I’m here with you…I see you…you are not alone.

As you read this issue of our HeartLight Highlight, if you have lost someone to suicide please take gentle care of yourself as the content of this issue may feel sensitive and personal. For those reading who have not been directly connected to someone who has died by suicide, we hope, after reading this issue, you have a new perspective on how we, collectively, are a part of the prevention and healing after loss.

As time moves forward, we invite you to reflect on a way you can offer connection to another person. Whether it’s a deep conversation, a safe space to talk, a simple change in tone, a phone call, text or email. May we all reflect on how we can be there to support one another as we move through the heartache, questions and collective grief around loss to suicide.

With deep affection,

Jenn

Board of Directors:

Jamie McConaty, Board Chair Jennifer Hay Stephanie Heitkemper Michael Wellensiek

Effie Kavadas Wilson

Jen Thomas

June Seppa

John Veldkamp

Marlene Seward

Keith Williams

SUICIDE STATISTICS

COLORADO:

7TH

highest state in suicide deaths.

2ND

leading cause of death for ages 10-44.

22.73

suicide deaths per 100,000 verses the National average of 14.04.

NATIONAL:

11th

48,138

1.70M

leading cause of death in US.

48,138 people died by suicide.

estimated suicide attempts.

Men died by suicide

Firearms accounted for

On average

3.9x

54.64%

132

more than women. The rate of suicide is highest in middle-aged white men.

of suicides.

suicides per day.

*latest published statistics on suicide from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) Data & Statistics Fatal Injury Report for 2021, retrieved May 19, 2023.

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FINDING THE FACTS On Suicide & Suicide Prevention Suicide ranks as the 11th leading cause of death in the United States, yet the reliable facts and digestible information remain elusive. In this article, HeartLight Center uses our unique insights gathered over two decades of working with grief and loss to navigate a complex web of data, myths, and stigmas. By bridging research and real-world experience, we aim to demystify suicide, present clear facts, and offer effective prevention strategies. Together, let's shed light on the shadows surrounding this crisis, working towards a future of healing and hope.

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Top 10 Things We've Learned From Research: 01:

Suicide is related to brain functions that affect decision-making and behavioral control, making it difficult for people to find positive solutions

02:

Limiting a person’s access to methods of killing themselves dramatically decreases suicide rates in communities

03:

Ninety percent of people who die by suicide have an underlying — and potentially treatable — mental health condition

04:

Depression, bipolar disorder, and substance use are strongly linked to suicidal thinking and behavior

05:

Specific treatments used by mental health professionals — such as Cognitive Behavior Therapy-SP and Dialectical Behavior Therapy — have been proven to help people manage their suicidal ideation and behavior

06:

No one takes their life for a single reason. Life stresses combined with known risk factors, such as childhood trauma, substance use — or even chronic physical pain — can contribute to someone taking their life

07:

Asking someone directly if they’re thinking about suicide won’t “put the idea in their head” — most will be relieved when someone starts a conversation

08:

Certain medications used to treat depression or stabilize mood have been proven to help people reduce suicidal thoughts and behavior

09:

If someone can get through the intense, and short, moment of active suicidal crisis, chances are they will not die by suicide

10:

Most people who survive a suicide attempt (85 to 95 percent) go on to engage in life

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What we’ve learned through research. American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. (2021, July 30). https://afsp.org/what-we-ve-learned-through-research/

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WARNING SIGNS OF SUICIDE

2

Research indicates the more of these signs a person shows, the greater the risk.

Warning signs are associated with risk of suicide or suicidal behaviors, but may not be what causes a suicide.

Talking about wanting to die Looking for a way to kill oneself Talking about feeling hopeless or having no purpose Talking about feeling trapped or in unbearable pain Talking about being a burden to others Increasing the use of alcohol or drugs

Acting anxious, agitated, or recklessly Sleeping too little or too much Withdrawing or feeling isolated Showing rage or talking about seeking revenge Displaying extreme mood swings

WHAT TO DO

2

If someone you know exhibits warning signs of suicide.

Do not leave the person alone

Call the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline by dialing 988 or 911

Remove any firearms, alcohol, drugs, or sharp objects that could be used in a suicide attempt

Take the person to an emergency room, or seek help from a medical or mental health professional

988 SUICIDE & CRISIS LIFELINE

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What is it?

The 988 Lifeline is a national network of local crisis centers that provides free and confidential emotional support to people in suicidal crisis or emotional distress. They are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week in the United States.

The goal of the 988 Lifeline is to help provide support for those in distress, prevention and crisis resources for you or your loved ones, and best practices for professionals in the United States.

What to expect when you call the 988 Lifeline: First, you’ll hear an automated messaged featuring additional options while your call is routed to your local 988 Lifeline network crisis center

A trained crisis worker at your local center will answer the phone

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Best Practices and Recommendations for Reporting on Suicide. Reporting on Suicide. (2020). https://reportingonsuicide.org/recommendations/#warning FAQ. 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. (2023). https://988lifeline.org/faq/

Calls are free, confidential & available 24/7

They will play a little music while they connect you to a skilled, trained crisis worker

This person will listen to you and get an understanding of how your problem is affecting you, provide support, and get the help you need

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A HeartLight Testimonial

Heart

to Heart

A Journey of Learning and Discovery

By Brenda Ranck The pain of loss to suicide is unlike any other grief. All loss is painful, and suicide adds layers that survivors must navigate.

With the help of mental health professionals, fellow grievers, and a close network of friends, I have started my journey of grief recovery. Yes, this journey is about me. Not my late husband, but me.

My husband, Darryl, died by suicide in July 2022. There were no signs – he was not struggling with addiction or behavioral health. I found that Darryl was keeping secrets, though, and when I discovered those secrets, I told Darryl to leave the house. I fully expected I’d take a day or two to sort through some thoughts, and my husband and I would do what so many other couples have done – we’d talk and figure out our future.

When my phone rang at 3:45 AM, I knew it wasn’t my husband calling. Instead, it was the call that shattered my world.

Darryl had died.

Nothing could have prepared me for the changes I was going to experience.

First, I had to survive. I had to get through the details of the death inquiry, of cremation, of notifying friends and family, of posting an obituary. I had to sort through bills, close accounts, and decide if I could continue to live in our home. I had to arrange to take a leave of absence from work. I had to deal with filing forms. I had to go to my doctor and ask for medication to combat anxiety and insomnia. Why are these the tasks a survivor must perform when least equipped to handle those tasks? It would be months before I could arrange a Celebration of Life.

Then I had to learn to live again. How? I sought professional help within hours of receiving the death notification, both through individual counseling and at support groups. I knew I could not survive on my own.

To my fellow grievers, do not let anyone tell you when or how to “move on.” Do, however, seek the help of mental health professionals. Find someone with whom you can share all those questions and emotions that come with death by suicide. The “why” questions, the “what could I have done differently?”, the guilt, the anger, the immeasurable depth of pain, the three steps forward and ten steps back, the shock of reminders and fresh grief, the secondary loss of others in your circle because they do not know how to address your grief, and so many other thoughts and emotions that I cannot even begin to describe.

I felt them all. I felt them all at the same moment. I felt like I was drowning in grief one moment and then staring at the world in awe of the loveliness that still surrounded me. I had to learn that laughter, humor and seeing beauty did not mean that I had forgotten Darryl; that Darryl’s death was not my fault; that I had a right to be hurt by his secrets and demand time to sort out my feelings; that his death, because of his own guilt and burden of his dishonesty, was most likely inevitable. I also learned that I have a right to feel whatever emotions I feel at any given moment, and that I will feel them for the remainder of my life.

I had to learn to care about myself. I have had to choose to exclude some people from my circle because they cannot comprehend why, more than a year after Darryl’s death, I still cry, I still hurt, I still get angry, I still struggle. Some people just do not understand that grief doesn’t disappear after three days of bereavement leave. Others think that a year is enough time to “get over” a loss. Some simply do not understand why I decline invitations to certain events – I just have not had the time to be able to face some settings again, and my responsibility is to protect myself. Setting boundaries is a huge and very necessary part of self-care.

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I make those therapy appointments and group meetings I mentioned earlier a priority as part of my self-care. It is important to know that I am not the only person to have had a loss by suicide and that my feelings are valid.

It is important to hear how others are finding strategies to cope and that they are finding purpose again.

Time helps. I hated hearing that grief recovery would take time, but it is true.

Time has allowed me to forge new friendships, to find new opportunities, to remember Darryl and be able to smile at those memories. Time has allowed me to pick my new path and decide what I want to accomplish now. Time has allowed me to sort through feelings, to come to realizations, to “pick up the pieces,” to decide which pieces will continue to serve me or which pieces need to be discarded.

That’s another thing I learned. Some pieces will be discarded. When Darryl died, I could not imagine putting away his things, sorting through belongings, or deciding what I wanted to keep. I was living as Darryl’s wife even after his death – I felt like the wife of a ghost. One day, something in my mind clicked. I could no longer limit myself to the definition of being Darryl’s wife. I had to be Brenda, and I had things I wanted to do! Changing my living space, adding new decor, donating his clothing to a worthy foundation, and taking down old pictures to put up new ones has been helpful in finding myself again.

Grief does not have a time limit. I will grieve the loss of my husband as long as I continue living. I miss him. I love him. There are memories we will never make together, and I grieve the loss of those memories. I have, though, begun to create memories in Darryl’s honor. I have gone places we had planned to visit and spoken to Darryl about what I was seeing and how I felt at that moment. I have taken ashes to places that were extraordinarily special to Darryl. I have more places to see where I will honor Darryl.

I keep Darryl in my heart always. I still have days that seem like they will crush my soul, but I have learned how to reach out to my support system and ask for a lifeline. I will continue to need that system and I am thankful for all those in that system. Make no mistake, though - creating my own path is where I’m heading. I participated this year in the Out of the Darkness Walk in remembrance of Darryl and the many others who have left us so suddenly. I am finding my new purpose. I am going back to school to pursue a master’s degree, an item on my bucket list I had started to fulfill but was temporarily derailed by Darryl’s death. I am reaching out to others that have survived suicide loss with the hope that I can offer support and guidance, as well as gain knowledge and find more support. I talk about Darryl, suicide, the need for mental health resources, and how grief affects suicide survivors.

We want to hear from you!

Our stories are individual, but our experiences can be deeply connected.

Knowing there is someone out there who understands what we are going through can be helpful and healing, creating connection to someone who was once a stranger.

Your grief story can help others on their journey of loss. HeartLight invites you to share what is on your heart so someone else may feel less alone, seen or understood.

Even if you have never written before, send us a letter, poem, drawing, quote, short story, how you have coped, what you have learned, a book recommendation or anything else that feels right.

Submissions can be up to 2400 words in length.

From our heart to yours, Thank you

Submit a Heart to Heart Scan:

I am an infant in my journey. I continue to grow, to learn to walk as an individual, and one day I will learn to run again. I am learning to trust again, and how to conquer fear. I have discovered some comfort in what Life has yet to offer me.

May we all find moments of peace, comfort, and happiness.

Brenda Ranck: I was raised in Colorado, and have lived in multiple states. I met my husband (a Colorado native and my soulmate) here, and we were married for 12 years. Nature, hiking, photography, reading, learning (about everything) and trying to wrangle my 2year-old Labrador are my hobbies. I work full-time in healthcare and recently returned to school - never too old to learn! My family and friends give me strength and the space to be vulnerable in my healing. This past year would have been impossible without them.

My gratitude extends to the professionals and volunteers that have guided me through the loss of my husband, taught me to regain my strength, and continue to share their knowledge.

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HEARTLIGHT CENTER

Suicide Loss Resources YOU ARE NOT ALONE

MONTHLY GRIEF SUPPORT GROUPS: HeartLight invites you to come to our suicide loss support group where people who have all lost someone to suicide gather and talk about feelings, questions, and their experience. Our compassionate groups are a safe space for those who are seeking healing and community.

IN-PERSON DENVER SUICIDE LOSS GRIEF SUPPORT When: Meets on the fourth Monday of every month.

Location: HeartLight Center 11150 E Dartmouth Ave. Denver, CO 80014 Time: 4:00 PM MST

IN-PERSON WESTERN SLOPE SUICIDE LOSS GRIEF SUPPORT When: Meets on the fourth Thursday of every month.

Location: Taylor’s Funeral Home 682 1725 Rd, Delta, CO 81416 Time: 4:00 PM MST

VIRTUAL SUICIDE LOSS GRIEF SUPPORT When: Meets the second Thursday of every month.

Location: Virtual on Zoom. Anyone, anywhere can join.

Time: 6pm PT / 7pm MST / 8pm CT / 9pm ET

HEARTLIGHT’S OUT OF THE DARKNESS TEAM: HeartLight Center, alongside Horan and McConaty and Daniel’s Family Funeral Home, joined thousands of teams across the country to help save lives and bring hope to those affected by suicide.

HeartLight had teams in both the Albuquerque and Denver Walks.

HELP IS AVAILABLE- SUICIDE AND CRISIS LIFELINE

Call or text 988 or text TALK to 741741

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HeartLight Resource

2023

HELPING SOMEONE WHO IS GRIEVING Being a Gentle Companion for Loved Ones Who are Grieving

By Allison Gary, MA, LPC Listen. Listen some more. And then listen even more. People may need to tell their story over and over as they process their grief and integrate this loss into their life.

Avoid clichés, religious platitudes or easy answers. While common phrases can feel helpful to say, often they are not helpful to the recipient and can even feel minimizing or dismissive.

Be sensitive and patient. Grief affects our minds, bodies and spirits. It takes time to learn to live in a “new normal.”

Be willing to show up. You don’t need to say anything profound or earthshaking, there is no “right” thing to say. Often, your greatest help is your quiet presence and simple deeds.

Provide a safe environment. It may be uncomfortable, but it can be of enormous help. Don’t try to fix, minimize or solve anything.

Initiate contact and activities. It is important to respect a person’s privacy and give them time alone but they may not have the energy to structure their lives after a significant loss. It’s helpful to have someone else initiate, and be okay if they say “no”.

Talk about the person who died. You won’t upset them or make them sad; they already are. Share your memories of the person who died, as you listen to their stories.

Be there after the first “wave” is over. After a loss, grievers get an overwhelming amount of contact, but over time that seems to stop. Make the effort to reach out, call, stop by or help out in other ways six months and a year, or longer, down the road. Offering your help, even if it feels like it’s been a long time, lets people know you remember them.

Find humor. Laughter can, indeed, be good medicine.

Watch for destructive behaviors. Loss can lead some people into deep depressions, alcohol or drug use, or even thoughts of ending their own lives.

Be a loving and protective advocate for a grieving person.

Learn about grief. The more you know, the better you will be able to help.

You are welcome to attend any programs or workshops with HeartLight Center that could be helpful to you. More educational resources available on our website: heartlightcenter.org.

Grief Reminders: Everyone grieves at their own pace and in their own way – that doesn’t mean that anything is “wrong” with them, or with you.

Grief is a normal human experience, and it is a process – something to tend to.

Grief is not something that people “get over” or that needs to be “fixed”. Some days will simply be easier than others.

Grief can be challenging to some relationships, but please remember that now, more than ever, people need the caring and patient support of friends and family.

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Heart Support DENVER IN- PERSON PROGRAMS MONTHLY GRIEF SUPPORT GROUPS: MEN’S LOSS OF A SPOUSE/PARTNER Dedicated to the unique issues of men who have experienced the death of a spouse, partner or significant other. Meets on the 1st Tuesday monthly at 7 PM.

LOSS OF A SPOUSE/PARTNER For those who have experienced the death of a spouse, partner or significant other. Meets on the 2nd Wednesday (4pm) and 4th Wednesday (7pm) monthly. You are welcome to attend either or both.

LOSS OF A PARENT(S) For those who have experienced the death of a parent/caregiver. Meets on the 3rd Wednesday monthly at 4 PM.

YOUNG LOSS OF A SPOUSE/PARTNER 6+ MONTHS For adults 55 and younger who have experienced the death of a spouse/partner and are 6 months or more post loss.

Meets on the 1st Thursday monthly at 7 PM.

YOUNG LOSS OF A SPOUSE/PARTNER NO TIMELINE For adults 55 and younger who have experienced the death of a spouse/partner, whether the death happened recently or years ago. Meets on the 3rd Tuesday monthly at 6PM.

SUICIDE LOSS GRIEF SUPPORT For those who have experienced a loss to suicide. Meets on the fourth Monday monthly at 4 PM.

LOSS OF A CHILD SUPPORT For bereaved parents, grandparents, caregivers, and adult siblings who have experienced the death of a child of any age.

Meets on the 3rd Thursday of each month at 6 PM.

GROWING THROUGH GRIEF Open to anyone who has experienced a death loss. Meets on the last Thursday of the month at 4 PM.

NEW! BEREAVED SIBLINGS SUPPORT GROUP For adult individuals who are grieving the loss of a sibling. Meets on the first Thursday of the month at 4:40 PM.

Facing the Mourning An interactive 4-session support group designed to help with the grieving process by using visual and thought-provoking tools.

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Light Groups VIRTUAL PROGRAMS MONTHLY GRIEF SUPPORT GROUPS: LOSS OF A PARENT(S) An ongoing support group for those who have experienced the death of a parent(s), grandparent or caregiver. Meets on the first Monday monthly at 6pm PT / 7pm MST / 8pm CT / 9pm ET.

GROWING THROUGH GRIEF This ongoing support group is open to anyone who has experienced a death loss. Meets the first Wednesday of the month at 7pm (MST) and the third Tuesday of the month at 4pm (MST).

LOSS OF SPOUSE/PARTNER An ongoing support and educational group for people who have experienced the death of a spouse, partner or significant other. Meets the second Wednesday monthly at 6pm PT / 7pm MST / 8pm CT / 9pm ET.

SUICIDE LOSS GRIEF SUPPORT For those who have experienced a loss to suicide. Meets the second Thursday monthly at 6pm PT / 7pm MST / 8pm CT / 9pm ET.

LOSS OF A CHILD SUPPORT & BOOK CLUB For bereaved parents, grandparents, and caregivers who have experienced the death of a child/grandchild at any age and for any reason. Meets on the first Thursday monthly at 4pm PT / 5pm MST / 6pm CT/ 7pm ET.

LGBTQ+ GRIEF SUPPORT GROUP For members of the LGBTQIA+ community who are grieving the loss of a loved one, whether that’s a friend, family member, or a member of found family. Meets on the second Monday monthly at 4pm PT / 5pm MST / 6pm CT/ 7pm ET.

HERE TO HELP We invite you to call or email us for more information or to ask any questions.

Our team is here to help support and guide you through care options. Scan to view all support groups.

Facing the Mourning 4-Week Group For Those That are Grieving:

Facing the Mourning Facilitator Training For Professionals:

A 4-week group that provides hands-on ways to process your

A training for those that would like to offer the 4 week Facing

grief. For all types of losses at any point in the grieving process.

the Mourning program to their organizations or communities

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HEARTLIGHT

Expansion Western Slope

New Mexico

HeartLight has made an intentional effort to offer in person programs in other areas of the country.

Today, HeartLight has in person programming in Albuquerque New Mexico, Denver, Delta and Grand Junction, Colorado.

As we enter new areas we listen to professionals, and those who have experienced a loss, in each community in order to learn about programs that would be most meaningful. We know the value of coming together, so we have partnered with existing organizations to ensure we are collaborating and reducing the duplication of programs in order to be good stewards of our resources.

In partnership with:

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IN-PERSON

Support Groups & Programs

WESTERN SLOPE IN-PERSON GRIEF SUPPORT GROUPS: SUICIDE LOSS GRIEF SUPPORT Location: Taylor’s Funeral Home - 682 1725 Road Delta, CO 81416 For those who have experienced a loss to suicide. *Starting in January the group will move to “as needed.”

LOSS OF SPOUSE POTLUCK Location: Brown's Funeral Service - 904 N. 7th St. Grand Junction, CO 81501 Open to all who have experienced the loss of a spouse/partner and are looking for connection. Meets the 3rd Wednesday monthly at 6:00 PM.

COMFORT FOOD, COMFORTING HEARTS POTLUCK Location: HopeWest Delta Office - 195 Stanford Lane, Delta CO 81416 Offering comfort amid loss through the sharing of experiences and food. Meets the 2nd Wednesday monthly at 6:00 PM.

GENERAL GRIEF GROUP - GROWING THROUGH GRIEF Location: Brown's Funeral Service - 904 N. 7th St. Grand Junction, CO 81501 Open to anyone who has experienced a death loss. Meets on the last Thursday monthly at 6:00 PM.

NEW MEXICO IN-PERSON GRIEF SUPPORT GROUPS: LOSS OF A SPOUSE/PARTNER Location: Daniels Family Funeral Services Wyoming Chapel - 7601 Wyoming Blvd NE, Albuquerque, NM 87109 For those who have experienced the death of a spouse, partner or significant other. Meets on the first Monday of the month at 5:30 PM.

LGBTQ+ GRIEF SUPPORT GROUP Location: UrbanMama505 Kombuchery - 1014 Central Ave SW Studio A, Albuquerque, NM 87102 This group is specifically for adult members of the LGBTQIA+ community who are grieving the loss of a loved one.

Discussions of grief will also include challenges related to grieving as an LGBTQIA+ individual. Meets on the first Wednesday of the month at 5:30 PM.

COMING SOON! SUDDEN & TRAUMATIC LOSS GROUP Upcoming dates: Wed. Jan 10, Feb 14 | 4:00pm Location: Daniels Family Funeral Services – 2400 Southern Blvd SE, Rio Rancho, NM 87124 For those who have experienced a sudden/traumatic loss, including incidents of accident, medical, or violent events. Meets on the second Wednesday of the month at 4:00 PM starting in January.

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Proud partner of HeartLight Center Caring for the communities we serve

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SPEAKER LINEUP

UPCOMING EDUCATIONAL SIGNATURE SERIES Learning about grief can normalize

JANUARY 23, 2024 Program for Professsionals:

Using Private Rituals with Clients for Personal Transformation Program for the Community:

Throwing Out the Rules: Why Most Grief Advice is Wrong Presented by: Dr. Jason Troyer To learn more about Dr.Troyer visit https://www.griefplan.com/

and validate our feelings and

APRIL 9, 2024

experiences. HeartLight is

The Treasure in the Trauma: We will explore the idea that even in the midst of our most difficult experiences, there is often a hidden treasure waiting to be discovered.

committed to providing ongoing education to grievers and professionals by hosting experts from across the country to present on various topics through our

Presented By: Matt “Griff” Griffin To learn more about Griff visit www.authormattgriffin.com

HeartLight Signature Series.

AUGUST 20, 2024

Cultural Diversity in Grief:

Scan to learn more

Regardless of our race, gender, religion, location, and privilege – dying is not an option. But how we access safe, culturallysensitive support and care is.

Presentation from: A PAUSE Panel To learn more about PAUSE visit https://www.timetopause.org/

TBA

How to Support Grieving Children: The mission of Judi’s House is to help children and families grieving a death find connection and healing.

Presentation details TBA.

Presented by: Judi’s House To learn more about Judi’s House visit https://judishouse.org/

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A HeartLight Testimonial

Heart

to Heart

Hello, My name is Larry Augustyn. My wife Mary and I celebrated our 50th wedding anniversary on September 12, 2020. On the morning of November 6, 2020 I went for my daily walk. When I returned from my walk, I found Mary lying dead on the bathroom floor. I was devastated and at a complete loss of what to do. Not only were Mary and I married for 50 years, but we also owned and worked at several businesses. So not only was she my wife but also my business partner. We had to close our business when she died. So not only did I lose my wife, partner and also our livelihood.

I have one married daughter and two grand-daughters who helped me survive. I was in a grief fog, not able to think and barely able to function. I lived with my daughter for 2 months before I was able to go back to our home.

Home was very lonely, and I did not really want to live. I had never lived alone before. I slept a lot, drank alcohol, and watched TV. Totally oblivious to the world. I wanted to join my Mary. I called my brother-in-law who was a Vietnam vet and struggled with suicide. He helped me through the times I fantasized how to kill myself.

He kept me alive, even though I wanted to die.

Finally, I went to a Heartlight Zoom group. I shared, I cried, I listened to others. One day a woman was talking about her husband. She and her husband were leaving the house, he sat down on the steps and died. Suddenly. She talked about how she could not go on without him. She talked about how she thought about driving off the Cherry Creek dam. She was in terrible shape, as was I. I needed help. That is the hardest thing for me, to ask for help. But I was desperate, so I called her and asked her out for coffee. We spent 2 hours at Starbucks talking about our loved ones and if we could survive without them.

A few days later, we went to Torchy’s to get something to eat. This time we spent 4 hours talking. I met her at the next in person Heartlight meeting. We talked on the phone and texted. We talked about how lonely we were.

We talked about our spouses.

Pretty soon we laughed a little.

Pretty soon we talked about how our spouses would want us to be happy. Whenever we had a conversation, we laughed about how there were 4 of us in the room. Pretty soon I decided that if I was going to live, I was not going to go through life alone. We got married on June 4, 2023.

Life can go on. Life should go on. I do not know how much longer I will be on this earth, but if I am here I want to be happy. That is what my Mary would want.

Thank you, Larry

Post-high school, I earned a BS in Business from the University of Dayton and joined the Air Force in 1968. After serving in Grand Forks, ND, I married Mary Frederickson in 1970. We moved to California, where I became an Air Force missile program instructor until my Honorable Discharge in 1976.

In Louisville, we managed a Honda Motorcycle Business, expanding to coin laundries and earning recognition as a top 100 Honda dealer.

Mary earned her MS in counseling, and I became a divorce and child custody mediator for Louisville courts.

In 2001, we sold our businesses and moved to Breckenridge, Colorado. There, we opened a counseling center, with Mary focusing on court-ordered domestic violence offenders. She served on the Advocates for victims of assault board until her passing in 2020. So not only were we married for 50 years, but we also worked together for 50 years.

We were a great team.

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HEARTLIGHT CENTER'S ANNUAL FUNDRAISER

It's All About Love

... & wine ... & cheese

A heartfelt THANK YOU to everyone who joined us at HeartLight Center's annual fundraiser, It's All About Love, on September 23,2023. The event was nothing short of a success in every way. Thank you to all who attended, all who donated, who volunteered, and a HUGE thank you to all of our amazing sponsors.

With your contributions, we've raised vital funds that will directly fuel HeartLight's mission of offering meaningful, accessible grief support and education.

Save the date for our 2024 event!

09.14.2024 5:30PM | The HeartLight Center

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Annual Fundraising Event HEARTLIGHT CENTER PRESENTS THE THIRD ANNUAL...

HOOK, SLICE, HEARTLIGHT G O L F

T O U R N A M E N T

JUNE 3RD, 2024 THE CLUB AT PRADERA 4-PERSON SCRAMBLE LOCATION: The Club at Pradera 5225 Raintree Dr Parker, CO 80134

PRICE: $225 PER PLAYER Includes; Breakfast, Cart, Contests, Green Fees, Prizes and Lunch

Time: Registration: 7:30AM Shotgun: 9:00AM Lunch & Awards to Follow

ABOUT HEARTLIGHT: HeartLight Center has been offering grief support and education since 2003 and is a center of expertise. HeartLight has in-person programs in Denver, New Mexico, on the Western-Slope, and offers programs virtually. Your continued support for our work makes all the difference in the world to those who are seeking solace and support. HeartLight Center’s beacon of hope continues to shine because of your care for our mission.

REGISTER: CONTACT US:

SCAN QR CODE:

720-748-9908 HEARTLIGHTCENTER.ORG MHOGAN@HEARTLIGHTCENTER.ORG HLC | 17

Title Sponsors SUE REYNOLDS IN MEMORY OF JOE REYNOLDS

THE HORAN FAMILY

Supporting Sponsors

J&R SPRIKLER

JAMIE & BETH MCCONATY

THANK YOU TO OUR 2023 SPONSORS

Signature Sponsors

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The

ighlight 11150 E. Dartmouth Ave Aurora, CO 80014

C o n t a c t

U s :

720-748-9908 info@heartlightcenter.org www.heartlightcenter.org

Follow us:

@HeartLightCenter

@heartlightcenter

@HeartLightCente

Help Support HeartLight: Make a Donation Your support makes a difference. Did you know that…

Donating $15 allows someone to attend a support group meeting.

Donating $65 sponsors a participant to attend a 4-week Facing the Mourning group.

Donating $180 provides a full year of support group attendance to a grieving member of our community.

There are several ways that you can help make a tax-deductible contribution to support Heartlight Center—a 501(c)(3) nonprofit.

Mail: Check or cash to 11150 E Dartmouth Ave, Denver, CO 80014.

Online: Visit https://heartlightcenter.org/support-us/ Scan:

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