How did we get here? I can’t believe it’s already December! This season is full of family moments and memories, and I just had to share a glimpse of mine. You'll find pictures from our niece Alexandra's stunning November wedding to Ryan Brandy, where my family and I got to dress up for a rare, formal occasion. Congratulations, Alexandra and Ryan! For more professional photos, see page 83 their day was truly spectacular!
This month, we’re thrilled to feature Carolina Furniture Mart on our cover. I love when advertising partners become friends, and that’s exactly the case with the Boyles family. Bud Boyles started this family business in 1961, and today, his wife Pat and sons Stuart and David all bring warmth and dedication to the store. Pat, especially, makes everyone feel right at home! Plus, their daughter-in-law Christy Boyles runs her RE/MAX Lifestyle office right there. Be sure to check out their story on page 28
December is a month for giving, and our holiday gift guide, starting on page 44, is packed with thoughtful ideas that are perfect for gifting loved ones while supporting our local businesses. Shopping local is essential to keeping our community strong, and every purchase goes a long way in helping small businesses like ours and many of our advertisers.
We’ve filled this issue with even more to enjoy! Discover the best places to see local Christmas lights on page 72, and meet a talented local contestant from The Voice on page 74. This issue is brimming with festive and engaging content to make your December bright.
As always, please let our advertising partners know you found them in LKN Magazine; it means the world to us and them. Looking ahead, 2025 has exciting things in store, and we can’t wait to share it all with you. From all of us at LKN, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
KEELA JOHNSON LKN MAGAZINE, PUBLISHER
PUBLISHER
Keela Johnson
Keela@lkn-magazine.com
EDITOR
Brooke Eagle Brooke@ForsythMags.com
BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT ADVISOR
Tina Carusillo Tina@lkn-magazine.com
SALES
Tina Carusillo Tina@lkn-magazine.com
Barbara Minor bcdminor@att.net
COVER PHOTOGRAPHY*
Lisa Crates Photography
CONTRIBUTING PHOTOGRAPHER*
Daniela Lucero, Ish & Ash Productions
JEJ PHOTOS
CONTENT
EDITOR
Meghan Corbett
SENIOR STAFF WRITER
Martie Emory
CONTRIBUTING WRITERS*
Ivey Gaskin Baker
Debbie Barr
Clair Crow
Laura Czerwinski
Joanna Hagan
Brandon James
Robin Keller Shupe
Jean Marie Johnson
Keela Johnson
Debbie Linville
Keith O’Neill, PH.D., C. HT.
Katharine Rosenthal, RDN
Charlie Schuler
Rebecca Stevens
Megan Taylor
Belinda Thomas
GRAPHIC DESIGN & PRODUCTION
Kate Shaw
WEB DESIGN/MAINTENANCE
Next Wave Services
SOCIAL/SWISS ARMY KNIFE
Emily Blue Cowan
CONTACT
LKN-Magazine.com
888-892-3204
ADVERTISING
advertising@lkn-magazine.com
*Others credited throughout.
Disclaimer: Please note that the inclusion of stories and articles in LKN Magazine magazine does not imply endorsement of products or people. The views of the authors are presented for information and entertainment only, and may not necessarily reflect the views of LKN Magazine. Specifically, LKN Magazine in no way endorses any claim associated with health and/or well being with respect to any particular person. We disclaim all warranties, express or implied, including, but not limited to, implied warranties of merchantability and fitness for a particular purpose. We will not be held responsible or liable, directly or indirectly, for any loss or damage that is caused or alleged to have been caused in connection with the use of, or reliance on, any content in this magazine.
18 Symphony Park Living: Welcome to Your Engaging Senior Lifestyle
26 Rock Barn Country Club and Spa: A Gift of Renewal, The Spa at Rock Barn
28 COVER STORY Carolina Furniture Mart: Family Values in the Heart of Lincolnton
32 Great American Self Storage: Space that Suits Your Lake Norman Lifestyle
36 Holiday Boundaries: A Stress-Free Season
38 Oh, Judgment: Makings Judgments or Being Judgmental?
40 Shake Things Up This Holiday Season: With These Alternative Gift-Giving Ideas
42 Post-Election Reflection
44 GIFT GUIDE 2024 Shop Local Holiday Gift Guide
50 The Bungalow Market: Inspired Holiday Shopping in Downtown Davidson
52 Gingerbread Houses...A Spicy Past!
54 On a Mission: Lake Norman's Kelly Mallon Young and Her Unstoppable Drive to Support Global Change
56 Don't Waste Your Pain
58 Caregiving: Taking Care of Yourself While Caring for Someone Else
66 The Christmas Potato Soup
74 Watchmen of the Streets: An Extra Note of Joy for this Year, Christmas Cheer Homeless Outreach
Cover Story
08 The Publisher Perspective 20 Mother Nurture: Investing in Knowledge that Lasts a Lifetime 22 Be Well Table: White Chocolate Chip Chickpea Blondies 24 Marzano Capital Group: Retirees, What's Your Strategy? 34 Art Speak: Kim Perry
One Man’s Perspective: Veteran's Home
Ask Dr. Keith 64 Savor Local: Dynamis Estate Wines 68 Trackside Talks: Defying the Odds
72 Joyful Journey: Christmas Lights and Displays in the LKN Area 76 Calendar of Events 82 Celebrations: Congratulations to Alexandra and Ryan Brady!
WELCOME TO YOUR ENGAGING SENIOR LIFESTYLE
Family oriented and hospitality driven, Symphony Park Living in Huntersville has emerged as a premier, allinclusive senior living community just minutes from beautiful Lake Norman.
As your new home, Symphony Park combines luxury and financial flexibility, minus those home ownership stresses like HOA fees and ongoing maintenance. Residents enjoy carefree living where all monthly expenses – including housekeeping, utilities and internet –are bundled into your fee, offering convenience and predictability. Unlike other options requiring significant upfront buy-ins, you stay in control of your finances at Symphony Park.
If you wish to involve close family members in making this major life decision, touring the community during this holiday season will allow you all to experience the warm, welcoming atmosphere and witness how the community celebrates with a true sense of joy!
For prospective residents and families, The Taste of Symphony event on Tuesday, December 10th, from 11:30 a.m. to 2:00 p.m. offers a perfect opportunity to experience Symphony Park’s worry-free living firsthand. Guests will enjoy a gourmet lunch, specially prepared to give a true sense of the culinary delights available to residents and will then be treated to a brief presentation on the community, its services and unique amenities. The event will conclude with a guided tour of the resident facilities, which offer one- and twobedroom apartment suites on beautifully landscaped grounds. Come see this vibrant community in action, and imagine yourself or a loved one thriving here. To ensure your place at this exclusive December event, RSVP by calling 704.351.6404.
What truly sets Symphony Park apart is exclusive access to 58,000 square feet of private amenities, ensuring a five-star, resort experience every single day. Residents indulge in luxury at three restaurants, two bars, a grab-and-go café, fitness center, movie theater, salon and spa, and a junior olympic-size pool, and stay engaged in a close-knit community with a vacation-like atmosphere. Symphony Park’s unique architectural design also includes a fully connected corridor between every residential building and the grand clubhouse, ensuring residents can access all community amenities year-round – rain or shine!
While this is an independent living community, residents may occasionally face health challenges that require additional support. To ensure they have seamless access to high-quality medical care,
Symphony Park partners with three top providers – Home Careolina, BAYADA Home Health Care and Atrium Health’s One Health – all of which have dedicated office spaces within the grand clubhouse.
Symphony Park is led by an engaged management team of highly trained employees, who bring a unique blend of high-end hospitality and senior living expertise, setting a standard for quality, personalized care. General Manager Julie Ogawa comes from a background in luxury resorts across Japan, Hawaii and Sedona where she managed some of the world’s top destinations. Executive Director Liam Goddard brings specialized experience from high-end senior living communities where he developed an understanding of the unique needs of seniors, fostering a supremely supportive environment.
Symphony Park employees share a goal of providing top-tier service that ensures residents feel valued and supported. From unwinding by the pool to enjoying a gourmet meal or participating in one of the many social and wellness activities, residents experience the benefits of a private resort every day, without ever leaving home.
If you’re looking for luxury resort-style senior living close to Lake Norman, call or schedule a tour online to explore Symphony Park Living, located at 12221 Sam Furr Road, Huntersville, NC, 704.351.6404. Learn more about their suites, amenities and pricing at symphonyparkliving.com, email info@symphonyparkliving.com and follow this dynamic senior living community on Instagram @ symphonyparkliving.
by MARTIE EMORY, lifestyle photography by JEJ PHOTOGRAPHY
SYMPHONY PARK LIVING
MOTHER NURTURE
INVESTING IN KNOWLEDGE & SKILLS THAT LAST A LIFETIME
by IVEY GASKIN BAKER
I have spent the past three months nurturing some little seedlings to be planted just before winter. I also placed hundreds of bulbs into the ground to hibernate before they bloom in early spring. As I watered and tended to these little seedlings in trays, my sons were so confused, often asking, “Mommy, why are you putting those plants out now? Won’t they die?” At the same time, my husband was asking, “Don’t we get a break from plants?”
We began this whole gardening project last winter. So much work was done in the cold weather months to prepare the ground and the beds for planting in the spring. I stayed busy and worked hard last winter for what was a long, equally challenging but rewarding spring, summer and fall. Most of our flowers were planted during the spring from seedlings that I started mid-winter. But, I learned that there are many flowers that are frost resistant and would like to be planted in the fall that benefit from the cooler weather promoting stronger and more robust blooms. This year, we’re going to give that a try.
As we shift into the winter season, which brings so much joy for some around the holidays, others feel loneliness and sadness. It’s cold and the days are shorter. There’s less time to play outside. As someone who lives for the outdoors, sweat and the sun, the winter used to be a pretty depressing season for me. I have recently been trying to shift that narrative in my mind and to see the winter as more of a gift. It is a time of restoration and nourishment. It is a time for rest and building resilience. Did you know that optimal sleep is in a cold (60-67 degrees) and dark environment? Did you know that playing in cold weather stimulates the production of white blood cells thus building our immune systems?
While the lack of sun and colorful flowers can make us sad, each season in gardening and in life serves a purpose. I’m reminded of something I wrote years ago while going through a bit of my own personal winter.
Sometimes, I am the sun.
I am radiant nourishment with so much to offer.
Everyone is witness to my strength, wants to be in my playful presence and feel my warmth.
Sometimes, I am the barren tree or brown grass buried beneath the snow.
I have nothing to give, I am nothing to look upon. No one can see what I am enduring.
But one day, spring will come.
I will have withstood the harsh, winter cold.
I will be stronger.
And you will see me again. Colorful and full of life.
You will look upon me again for shade, warmth or a soft place to lay your tired head.
Sometimes, it takes the winter to see yourself for all you truly are.
Happy holidays, and I hope all your flowers bring you endless joy in the year to come! Happy gardening!
WHITE CHOCOLATE CHIP CHICKPEA BLONDIES
by KATHARINE ROSENTHAL, RDN
These chewy, white chocolate, chickpea blondies are the perfect healthy treat! Make them for the holidays and add some fun holiday sprinkles!
Servings: 12 blondies
Prep time: 10 minutes
Cook time: 25 minutes
Total time: 35 minutes
Ingredients:
• 15 ounces chickpeas, rinsed
• 1/2 cup peanut butter
• 1/3 cup pure maple syrup
• 1/3 cup whole wheat flour
• 1/4 teaspoon baking soda
• 1/4 teaspoon baking powder
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
• 1/2 cup white chocolate chips
• Vanilla baking salt, for sprinkling
Instructions:
1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.
2. Blend the chickpeas, peanut butter and maple syrup using a food processor until smooth.
3. Add the flour, baking soda, baking powder, salt and ground cinnamon to the chickpea mixture and blend into the food processor.
4. Once well blended, stir in the white chocolate chips and mix well. Pour into a greased 8x8 pan.
5. Bake in the oven for 23-25 minutes.
6. Once done, add a few pinches of the vanilla baking salt on top of the blondies. Enjoy!
For more recipes and nutrition tips, head over to the Be Well Table blog.
RETIREES, WHAT’S YOUR WITHDRAWAL STRATEGY?
by BRANDON JAMES , FINANCIAL ADVISOR
When planning for retirement, we often focus on the accumulation phase: saving diligently and investing wisely. We spend 40 or more years of our lives focused on building the proverbial “nest egg,” but after retirement, things change and so should our financial focus.
There are a variety of questions that must be answered. How much should you be withdrawing annually? Should you go with your IRA first or your brokerage account? Should you withdraw a fixed percentage or fixed amount? How much will you leave behind?
Having a well planned withdrawal strategy is important:
• It helps to prolong the lifespan of your retirement savings.
• It may reduce your overall tax burden.
• It can provide a more balanced income stream.
• It can help in preserving your wealth for legacy purposes.
4 COMMON WITHDRAWAL STRATEGIES
There are a number of ways you can go about withdrawing money in retirement. As always, it helps to get advice from a valued financial advisor, but it never hurts to educate yourself on some options beforehand. We’ve compiled a list of four below that are commonly used. Which one sounds like the suitable fit for you?
1. The 4% Rule
You’ve probably heard of the 4% rule, a guideline suggesting that you withdraw 4% of your retirement savings in the first year of retirement, adjusting for inflation in subsequent years.1 For instance, if you have $3 million in retirement savings, you withdraw $120,000 in the first year.
This rule aims to provide a steady income while keeping the principal balance largely intact. However, it’s not onesize-fits-all. The rule doesn’t account for market volatility, interest rate trends, tax implications, unexpected expenses, or changing personal circumstances.
2. Fixed-Dollar Withdrawals
Some retirees choose to withdraw a set
amount of money each year for a certain number of years. For instance, you might opt to take out $100,000 every year and then check if this amount still works for you after five years. This approach gives you a steady income to plan your budget around, but it doesn’t consider the rising cost of living due to inflation. Also, if you set the amount too high, you might start eating too far into the money you have invested. Plus, if the market is down and your investments are worth less, you might have to sell more than you’d like to get the cash you need2
3. Fixed-Percentage Withdrawals
Another withdrawal strategy is to take out a certain percentage of your total investments each year.3 How much money you’ll get can change since it depends on how much your portfolio is worth at the time. This can make your annual income a bit unpredictable, but if you withdraw a smaller percentage than what your investments are expected to earn, your income and the value of your account could actually go up over time. But be careful—if you take out too much, you might run out of money sooner than you think.
For example, if you have $3 million saved up for retirement, and you decide to withdraw 3% per year, you’ll have $90,000 to use that year.
4. Systematic Withdrawals
With a systematic withdrawal strategy, you only withdraw the income (such as dividends or interest) created by the underlying investments in your portfolio. Because your principal remains intact, this is designed to prevent you from running out of money and may afford you the potential to grow your investments over time, while still providing retirement income.4 However, the amount of income you receive in any given year will vary, since it depends on market performance. There’s also the risk that the amount you’re able to withdraw won’t keep pace with inflation.
Are there other withdrawal strategies? Certainly. Which strategy is suitable for you? That really depends upon your unique situation. If you’re approaching retirement or lack confidence in your current strategy, we’re here to help.
Securities offered through LPL Financial. Member FINRA/SIPC. Marzano Capital Group is an other business name of Independent Advisor Alliance, LLC. All investment advice is offered through Independent Advisor Alliance LLC, a registered investment advisor. Independent Advisor Alliance is a separate entity from LPL Financial.
Landscapes like ours inspire poets, painters, and, thankfully, winemakers.
You, too, can be inspired by joining us for a reservation-only luxury tasting experience on our estate, just a short drive away from Charlotte. At 1,640 feet above sea level, the views are serene and the wine is unique. Scan this code to view our tasting packages and begin your experience.
spoil someone you love, including yourself
Give a gift that delights: the Rock Barn Gift Card. Located less than an hour from Charlotte, Rock Barn Country Club & Spa offers championship fairways and five-star spa days. It’s easy. Affordable. And always appreciated.
• E-cards are available online, in any amount 24/7, and come in a variety of festive designs
Can be sent immediately or scheduled by date
Never expires
• Physical cards are available at the Spa Front Desk and Golf Pro Shop
Expires in five years
Postage fees apply if mailed Call or visit us online for more information.
“We all love working together,” shares David. “It can be a challenge, but the rewards are worth it.”
- DAVID BOYLES
FAMILY VALUES IN THE HEART OF LINCOLNTON
story by MARTIE EMORY, photography by LISA CRATES PHOTOGRAPHY
THERE’S
SIMPLY SOMETHING SPECIAL ABOUT THE SHOPPING EXPERIENCE AT CAROLINA FURNITURE MART. FOR NEW CUSTOMERS WHO KNOW THEIR REPUTATION FOR EXCEPTIONAL INVENTORY,
IT’S THE CHANCE TO TOUCH AND FEEL A POTENTIAL NEW PIECE OF FURNITURE – SOMETHING YOU CAN ONLY APPRECIATE IN PERSON.
But, for many local residents, it’s the golden opportunity to visit with the family behind the business – Bud and Pat Boyles, and their sons, David and Stuart Boyles, who are carrying on the tradition of excellence and honesty at this popular Lincolnton, NC destination. As it’s been all through the years, their passion is face-to-face connection with customers.
“Brick and mortar is definitely our roots,” David explains. “Now, we do have an online presence, but people will always want to touch furniture and actually sit on chairs and couches they are interested in purchasing for their home.”
After more than six decades as part of the Lincolnton business landscape, Carolina Furniture Mart has happily served three generations. It’s not unusual for the current team to be greeting the grandchildren of previous customers, and with several staff members
who’ve been around for 25 years, the camaraderie and community roots run deep!
“We all love working together,” shares David. “It can be a challenge, but the rewards are worth it.”
Both he and Stuart have taught their kids the value of hard work – letting them help out at the store as their school schedules allowed – just as they did when they were young. Stuart’s son already has plans to step into the business, continuing the tradition.
Having grown up on a farm in Lincoln County, Bud launched his dream at the age of 18 and spent 12 years learning the furniture business from Carolina Furniture Mart’s original owner. Pat was a dedicated stay-at-home mom until her children grew up. At the heart of everything they’ve done through the years – both as business owners and members of the close-knit community – has been a passion for helping people, plain and simple!
Continued from page 29.
TODAY’S BUSTLING SHOWROOM BOASTS
80,000 SQUARE FEET OF RELEVANT, STYLISH FURNITURE OPTIONS – PLUS LIGHTING AND UNIQUE ACCESSORIES – AND CUSTOMERS ARE GUIDED TO A CENTRALLY LOCATED KIOSK TO EXPLORE MANUFACTURER WEBSITES AND DISCOVER ALL AVAILABLE OPTIONS FOR PATTERNS AND COLORS OF A PARTICULAR PIECE THEY LIKE. YOU CAN’T HELP BUT NOTICE THE LARGE “MADE IN AMERICA” SIGN IN THE SHOWROOM – NEAR A WALL OF SEEMINGLY ENDLESS FABRIC SAMPLES.
Pat doesn’t hesitate when asked what she feels sets the business apart from other options.
“We have a good product at a fair price!” she shares. David and Stuart make sure the inventory of more than 100 lines stays current with contemporary styles, including high-end design accent pieces at bargain prices, while still staying true to the family’s old-fashioned values. It’s a daily goal to educate customers and offer them the best quality pieces within their price range.
CAROLINA FURNITURE MART
What’s different here is an impeccable level of customer service – the friendliest around – a team who stands behind their work, who will be truthful about how long a certain fabric might last your growing family and an incredibly strong faith that guides every decision along the way.
Loyal customers – and friends – Dennis and Penny Moretz describe the Boyles family as people who “stand by their work” and who display how important their faith is to them on a daily basis. Ephraim Killian – who’s also a friend and longtime customer – sums up what is the truest thing around. “This Christian family cares for everybody who walks in their store!”
And, rest assured, if you don’t find exactly the piece you’re looking for in their showroom – they will go above and beyond to help you find it! The Boyles family pours their heart and soul into giving their very best efforts for every customer who calls with a request or stops by the showroom. Their long-time employees are some of their biggest fans – a true reflection of the nurturing and support that has built the work environment at Carolina Furniture Mart.
With a steadfast commitment to each other and the many friends and customers who count on them, the future is bright for this true family business that has stood the test of time. As the next generation continues to offer a diverse choice of products to reflect changing tastes and design styles, the Boyles family bond will never go out of style!
Carolina Furniture Mart is located at 644 N. Aspen Street in Lincolnton, NC. Reach them at 704.735.1422, visit them online at CarolinaFurnitureMart.com and follow them on Instagram @ carolinafurnituremart for glimpses of new inventory. Store hours are Monday through Saturday 9:00 a.m. - 5:00 p.m.
GREAT AMERICAN SELF STORAGE
SPACE THAT SUITS YOUR LAKE NORMAN LIFESTYLE
by MARTIE EMORY
There’s no shortage of positive energy and professionalism surrounding the newly opened Great American Self Storage in Mooresville, NC!
Offering concierge-quality service when you rent one of their 700 pristine storage units, this brand new facility offers a safe space for those belongings you need a new home for (including all of your lake toys), along with the super friendly service of their expert on-site management team.
Property Manager Angelique Gentry views her team’s role as being the ultimate “helpers” – in the most down-to-Earth sense of the word! While her strong background in property management, real estate and accounting strengthens the business side, Angelique’s leadership skills and expertise at problem solving are a perfect match for helping you efficiently house those important keepsakes, sports equipment and even your business inventory in their larger units.
For self storage needs, “problem-solving” might mean gauging the right size unit for each client’s particular needs. A detailed video guide on the company’s website can assist you in estimating the storage space you need – whether that’s for furniture and personal items if you’re in transition or orchestrating a move to the Lake Norman area; or, for established lake residents, maybe it’s the essential gear for your outdoor recreational lifestyle that simply needs a separate “place” of its own!
Angelique feels strongly that customer service sets Great American Self Storage apart. “I’m a customer-oriented person, and I’ve visited a lot of properties in our industry,” she shares. “Striving to get to know our customers is just part of who I am!”
With standard spaces that range from small (5’ x 5’), medium (10’ x 10’) and large (10’ x 20’), Great American Self Storage also offers an extra large option of 10’ x 30’ units with power that are perfect for your business storage needs. Commercial
customers also receive 50% off when booking the conveniently appointed meeting space in the building. The site’s amenities are unmatched and include state-of-the-art security, climate control, postal boxes with mailing addresses, mobile-friendly smart locks, large truck access, alarms and sprinklers throughout, and the very best facility management in the area.
Great American Self Storage also partners with local trusted moving professionals and the most respected local real estate agents to assist families
relocating to the Lake Norman area. As proud members of the Mooresville South Iredell Chamber of Commerce, taking an active role in the community is also a top priority, as is supporting clients who frequently access their storage units.
“We’re open seven days a week with convenient hours for easy access, and we will always assist clients with using their keypad entry, and explaining the keyless entry app on your smartphone,” Angelique adds. Angelique is waiving all admin fees and is offering discounted pricing if you book a unit now.
Great American Self Storage of Lake Norman invites the community to its grand opening celebration on Friday, December 6th, at 11:30am. Attendees will have the opportunity to tour the facility, learn about special opening offers, and enjoy refreshments.
Come visit Great American Self Storage’s comfortable sales office with coffee and snack bar, and let them demonstrate their technology-driven smart locks – a feature no other location in the area offers! Great American Self Storage is now open at 119 Executive Center Place, in Mooresville, NC. Visit greatamericanselfstorage.com to view unit options and measurement comparisons. Call the office at 704.325.9600 for more information or to arrange a tour of your next stressfree storage space!
PROUD MEMBER OF
ART SPEAK: UNVEILING LAKE NORMAN’S CREATIVE VOICES
This month’s featured creator is Kim Perry.
How would you describe your work?
I’m a traditional painter who primarily works with oils, using a palette knife to infuse my pieces with a unique texture.
Which other artists most inspired you?
During a transformative visit to Kinsale, Ireland, I encountered a painting that left me speechless and shifted my artistic trajectory forever. This moment sparked a deep love affair with oils on canvas, thanks to the remarkable Róisín O’Farrell, whose vibrant scenes captivated me. She is a marvelous oil painter that uses a palette knife and was a catalyst for my artistic journey. I revel in that sweet intersection where classic meets contemporary, crafting artworks that feel like a warm embrace. She remains one of my greatest inspirations, and I’m proud to call myself her biggest fan.
Where do you find your best sources for inspiration?
My paintings are a heartfelt tribute to Kentucky – friendly, confident and inviting. I draw inspiration from its bourbon, horse racing and rolling hills, capturing the essence of what makes this place feel like home. Each stroke tells a story, and I am honored to create original works that use bright, intense colors. My hope is that every piece transports you to a realm of peace and endless possibilities.
by LAURA CZERWINSKI
What is the greatest compliment you’ve received about your work?
The greatest compliment I’ve received is knowing that my work leaves a lasting impression. Many have pursued their passions – be it art, drawing or photography – because of my journey. To inspire others in this field is a dream I never anticipated, and I’m grateful for the community that allows us all to create something that brings joy and peace to the world.
What are you currently working on that excites you?
I’m currently immersed in a piece that captures the thrill of a horse racing event at Keeneland in Lexington, KY. This location has always held a special place in my heart, with its lush greenery and magnificent thoroughbreds. My painting depicts the exhilarating moment when horses and jockeys burst from the starting gate. It’s a labor of love, rich in detail and color, and I can’t wait to see it find a home.
What is one piece of creative advice you wish you had learned sooner?
One valuable lesson I wish I’d learned earlier is the importance of taking risks in my work. Playing it safe rarely yields the desired results; we must pursue our dreams with courage. If someone had told me I would create the art and build the studio I have today, I wouldn’t have believed them. I’m so grateful I chose to follow this passion, and I’ve cherished every moment of watching Kim Perry Studio flourish.
Where can readers learn more about you and see your work?
Locally, you can find my work at Juelerye | Artisan Gallery and Gifts in Mooresville,
NC. I’ll be there for a special event on December 6th from 6:00 p.m. - 8:00 p.m. and again on Saturday, December 7th from 12:00 p.m. - 6:00 p.m. I’ve been talking with Jacque and Nelson about visiting, and I’m thrilled that it’s finally going to happen.
Beyond Mooresville, you can find me throughout the Kentucky art scene, and I often paint live at Buffalo Trace. I’m also very active on Instagram, where you can connect with me @kimperrystudio. It’s a wonderful platform for bringing together artists and art lovers alike.
A STRESS-FREE SEASON
The holiday season is a time of joy, connection, and celebration, but it’s also notorious for stretching us thin— financially, socially, and emotionally. Establishing boundaries in key areas of your life can make the difference between a season filled with stress and one filled with peace. Here’s how you can set practical boundaries to keep the holidays stress-free and meaningful.
1. Budget Boundaries: Spend Smart, Enjoy More
The holidays are a time of generosity, but overspending can quickly dampen the joy. According to recent reports, Americans plan to spend around $997 on holiday shopping this year. While that’s slightly less than in past years, it’s still significant. Instead of comparing your spending to others or feeling pressured to outdo past holidays, focus on what really matters. Create a clear budget, sticking to your non-negotiables, and explore alternative ways to celebrate—whether that’s DIY gifts, experience-based presents, or scaling back on extras. Staying mindful of your spending will help you start the new year without financial regrets.
2. Calendar Boundaries: Protect Your Time, Protect Your Peace
As the holiday invites roll in, it’s easy for your calendar to fill up fast. But before committing to every event, take a step back and ask yourself what matters most to you this season. Whether you’re hoping for a quiet family movie night, time to shop solo, or a chance to attend local holiday events, be intentional about what you say “yes” to. Don’t feel guilty for turning down invitations that don’t align with your priorities. Leaving room for rest and reflection is just as important as any festive outing, so protect your time and make space for what truly brings you joy.
3. Family Boundaries: Creating Meaningful Moments
Family gatherings are often the highlight of the holidays, but they can also come with their share of stress. Start by having a conversation with your immediate family about shared priorities. Whether it’s attending a Christmas Eve service or volunteering together, make sure everyone is on the same page about what time is reserved just for family. For families with teens or complex extended family dynamics, early communication is key. Set clear boundaries with extended family, especially if they have a tendency to take over holiday plans, to ensure everyone can enjoy the season without tension.
4. Work Boundaries: Balance Productivity and Holiday Cheer
Work can sometimes seep into the holidays, making it hard to fully relax. Setting clear work boundaries early is crucial. If you’re managing deadlines, communicate with your boss or colleagues about your availability and ensure you’ve scheduled any vacation or personal days well in advance. For those who are self-employed, it’s essential to prioritize important tasks while deferring what can wait. Set expectations with clients or partners so you can carve out time for family and celebration. Remember, the holiday magic will pass quickly, but work will still be there when the new year arrives.
5. Health Boundaries: Nurture Yourself, Inside and Out
Between the flurry of holiday events and seasonal stress, your physical and mental health can take a hit. This year, make a point to establish boundaries around your well-being. Whether you’re grieving, feeling overwhelmed, or simply exhausted, be honest about what you need and communicate that with others. It’s okay to turn down events or traditions if they don’t serve you. Prioritize rest, healthy habits, and emotional support to ensure you have the energy to enjoy the parts of the holiday that matter most. By setting boundaries around your health, you’ll create space for a season filled with joy and gratitude.
Conclusion:
The holidays are meant to be magical, but without clear boundaries, they can quickly become overwhelming. By setting limits on your time, spending, work, and even your emotional energy, you’ll give yourself the gift of a more peaceful, joyful season. This year, choose calm over chaos—after all, the best way to embrace the magic of the holidays is by protecting your peace.
OH, JUDGMENT!
–MAKING JUDGMENTS OR BEING JUDGMENTAL?
by JEAN MARIE JOHNSON
There is a big difference between using sound judgment and being judgmental. We use our judgment every day –cereal or eggs this morning? I need more protein. Eggs. We use it as well on life’s bigger and biggest decisions – relocate to be closer to family or stay put? Stay put, at least for now. The ability to judge is deeply rooted in our shared DNA, our evolutionary story. And, to that extent, making judgments is a very good thing indeed.
But, being judgmental is a whole other thing. It’s about being quick to criticize and to find fault. It’s about being harsh. While making assessments and forming opinions about others is part of human cognition, we cross the line when we are judgmental. You may say, Well, so what? Everyone does it, right? True...but that doesn’t make it right. In my mind, it’s problematic because this behavior stings. It can cause others to shut down or pull away from you. If being judgmental is a deeply ingrained habit, it may act as a deflection that keeps you from doing the one thing you have complete control over – working on yourself.
WHERE OUR JUDGMENTS COME FROM
Being judgmental is often rooted in a combination of nature and nurture:
• A sense of insecurity and low self esteem
• Culture and social influences
• Cognitive biases
• A lack of understanding and empathy
• Fear and wariness of those who are different
• The way one was raised
• The green-eyed envy monster
It is also true that being judgmental can provide a measure of comfort by shifting attention away from our own shortcomings and giving us a sense of superiority. Now, that’s something to think about.
JUDGMENT LANE
I became intrigued by this topic when I found myself thinking in a judgmental way toward a casual acquaintance. If it were a once only one-off, I might let it pass. But, in the interest of personal accountability and growth, I realized that I had started down a path called “Judgment Lane.” As I looked deeper, I realized that I was being unduly harsh and devoid of empathy based on a difference in a particular value that I hold dear. Then I did THE WORK. You know, the work you do to address something that is standing in the way of you being the person you want to be or achieving a goal that matters deeply to you.
MY PERSONAL PATH
Here’s how I got started:
I revisited that most important question...and discovered that being judgmental didn’t jibe with being the best version of me. In fact, it was a disconnect with my core values.
Then, I asked myself these three questions:
• Do I enjoy this person’s company? Yes!
• Does this person bring a measure of joy to my life? Yes!
• What good purpose are these “judgy” thoughts serving? Absolutely none. They make me feel like a small-minded worm.
I then coached myself with these key thoughts in mind:
• I don’t need to be on the same page with everyone about everything. In fact, it is often both enlightening and challenging (in a good way) when I am not. I reminded myself that three of my dearest, longstanding girlfriends hold widely different political views from mine. That never gets in the way because we respect each other immensely and enjoy the richness in our friendship without needing to “go there.”
• Being a tolerant, open-minded human is important to me. I may not completely understand your way of thinking, your choices or some of your values, and that’s okay. In turn, you may not understand all of mine. We don’t need to be mirror images of one another!
• Behavior modification takes commitment and time. I’m in! When I notice a judgmental thought, I need to challenge myself. Is this a bias of mine? Am I thinking this way because one of my deeply held values is being triggered? Then I need to think a kinder, “nicer” thought. “Bless her heart” does not count! It has to be a conscious redirect that interrupts the pattern of hanging on to the negative.
• Remember to refrain from turning the judgment inward! Cut myself a little slack, especially when I know I’m feeling anxious or particularly stressed.
Every friend brings something rich and unique to your life. Focus on what you appreciate, and let the rest go.
Shake Things Up This Holiday Season
WITH THESE ALTERNATIVE GIFT-GIVING IDEAS
by KAREN COOPER
The holidays are filled with joyful traditions… time-honored meals with family, festive decorations in our home and gifts for those we love! Picking out presents can be lots of fun, and sometimes, quite challenging. It can be tempting to quickly buy things without much thought just to cross names off your list –but you may end up giving unwanted gifts.
Unique gift ideas can turn a simple gesture into a memorable experience for the giver and the recipient which can make the holidays even more special. This thoughtful approach to gift-giving can enhance the joy of the season while making a positive impact on the community, as well.
This holiday season, consider these gift-giving ideas for the most important people on your list.
EXPERIENCE GIFTS
Special experiences often make the best gifts! They can be shared with others, and they’re usually remembered for years to come. The sky’s the limit in this category of gift giving, so no matter what your recipient’s interests (or your budget), you’ll find an option that’s just right.
For Example:
• Sports team tickets or season passes
• Gift card to a favorite restaurant
• Voucher for pampering (massage, manicure, facial)
• Tickets to a concert
• Zoo or museum membership
• Movie theater gift cards
MEMORIES
Nostalgia is defined as a sentimental longing or a wistful affection for the past. Holiday time is the perfect opportunity to give a gift that evokes nostalgia by choosing a gift that reminds your loved one of the past.
For Example:
• Converting pictures or old media into current digital format
• Creating a storybook using pictures from your life together
• Writing down memories of the two of you in a special journal
SERVICE GIFTS
Time is fleeting and so very precious which is why it makes such a special gift. Sometimes, all your loved one wants is quality time with you, so your present can simply be to be present! You can offer your time in many different ways that are sure to be appreciated by the receiver of this special gift.
For Example:
• Babysitting, pet sitting or house sitting
• Taking them out to a special destination to spend the day together
• Cook them a gourmet meal
• Offer lessons in something at which you’re skilled
• Help with cleaning or house projects
LEARNING GIFTS
Learning can improve our brains and allow us to be more interesting people. (Learning something new with a loved one also promotes bonding, so this gift category is an excellent choice.)
For Example:
• Lessons for an activity they’re interested in (tap dancing, yoga, ballroom dancing, tennis)
• A cooking class
• An art or craft class
• A community college course
Whatever gifts you choose, take time to think about what the loved ones on your list might genuinely love to receive, and begin your search with those thoughts in mind. Thoughtful, intentional gift giving can make your celebration more meaningful and bring you closer to those you cherish the most.
POST-ELECTION REFLECTION
by REBECCA STEVENS
Jesus [said], “Every kingdom divided against itself will be ruined, and every city or household divided against itself will not stand.”
Matthew 12:25 (NIV)
It’s finally over. The last vote has been cast. The polls have all closed. The victors and the losers have been announced. And, thankfully, the last negative campaign ad is no longer being aired for the 10,000th time. So, now it is time to hold a trembling finger on the pulse of our beloved nation.
Did your candidates win or lose? Were you cheering or crying on election night? Was anyone in your circle of friends on the “other side?” If so, did you offer kind congratulations to those who were smiling or express sincere sympathy to those who were experiencing deep disappointment the morning after?
It is my hope that if we learned anything at all in this agonizingly long and bitter election cycle, it was that we are a deeply divided and polarized nation. Just one look at the key text for this reflection should concern us far more than whether any particular candidate delivers on the campaign promises that either won or lost them our votes. So, with that in mind, let’s ask ourselves some really tough questions.
1. Did the candidates I supported seem to produce the fruits of the Spirit which are love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control? By the way, our Lord reminded us in Matthew 7:16 that “by their fruit you will recognize them.” Ouch!
2. Were the candidates I supported not afraid to speak hard and often unpopular truth...truth that aligns itself with the written Word of God found in Scripture as well as the Living Word of God that is
revealed to us in the person of our Lord Jesus Christ? Just sayin’.
3. Did the candidates I supported spend far too much money on their campaigns...money that could have been put to far better use, oh say, like feeding the hungry or clothing the naked? Gut-wrenching sigh.
So, can we all agree that no candidate is perfect and that they all have feet of clay just like the rest of us?
Can we learn to tolerate the opinions of others more and to try to shout down any opposing opinions less? Can we learn to trust that others put as much time and effort into thoughtfully developing their opinions as we did our own? In short, can we learn to work together and to get along more harmoniously in order to establish “a more perfect union?”
And, next time around, can we try to apply the three measuring sticks that I’ve outlined above to evaluate all candidates carefully and thoroughly and then cast our votes for the men and women that we think best exemplify those ideals regardless of race, gender or party affiliation? Will we ever find perfect candidates? Of course not, because none of us are perfect. But, if we put forth real effort into trying to evaluate each candidate’s fitness to hold office, will our nation continue to be the greatest experiment in democracy that the world has ever known? I believe that the answer to that question is a resounding “yes.”
So, now that the voice of the people has spoken, can we let go of our differences and remember that enduring peace and unity will only begin in each of our own hearts? I would surely like to think that if our Lord can willingly lay down His life to bring us back into fellowship with our holy and righteous Father, we can each lay down our selfish and sinful need to always prove ourselves right. It surely won’t be easy, but nothing of true and lasting value is ever easy, is it?
GINGERBREAD HOUSES… A SPICY PAST!
by DEBBIE LINVILLE
No confectionary treat symbolizes the holiday season quite like the spicy, candy-laden, edible gingerbread house. The modern-day U.S. Christmas tradition of gathering friends and family members to assemble and decorate these fantastical houses actually has roots (pardon the pun) in China. The ginger root srigavera (Sanskrit) is translated “root shaped like a horn” - a fitting name for its unusual appearance. It was first cultivated in ancient China about 5,000 years ago as a tonic to treat countless illnesses including common digestive ailments, a practice many in the healthcare industry still use today to reduce nausea. From there, ginger made its way along trade routes to India, Asia, and Africa, and by the 1st century, it arrived in Europe. Food historians generally agree that it was the Greeks who discovered the spice’s usefulness as a preservative, but there is great debate about who lays claim to the first known gingerbread recipe. Some say credit goes to the Greeks around 2400 AD, while others insist it originated in France in 992 AD. Interestingly, the term gingerbread initially meant preserved ginger and did not apply to the scrumptious desserts we enjoy today.
Around the turn of the 15th century, German bakers began making hard gingerbread cookies that were often shaped like animals, kings and queens, gilded with gold leaf. These heavily adorned gingerbread treats, known as “fairings'', were served at medieval fairs across Europe and became synonymous with all things “fancy and over the top.” However, it would be another 2,000 years before the ornamented gingerbread houses we are familiar with came onto the scene in Germany. Reportedly, the popularity of the ginger spiced biscuit-walled houses (lebkuchenhäuschen) soared on the heels of the (not-so-Christmassy) Grimms’ original fairytale of Hansel and Gretel, in which the little boy and girl stumbled upon a house made entirely of treats deep in the forest. Exactly how the link was established between this fairytale where two children almost got cooked and eaten by the witch until they turned the tables and cooked her instead, and the beloved Christmas tradition of decorating gingerbread houses, remains unclear.
“When they came nearer, they saw that the house was built of gingerbread, and roofed with cakes, and the window was of transparent sugar.”~Hansel and Gretel, 1812
Gingerbread houses arrived in the New World with the German settlers, and Americans have been practicing increasingly complex and record-breaking feats of confectionary engineering ever since. The former gingerbread fairs of Europe in the Middle Ages paved the way for our “sweet and spicy” U.S. gingerbread house competitions of today. In 1992, a small group of locals from Asheville, N.C., built a few gingerbread houses to usher in Christmas at Grove Park Inn as a one-time endeavor, but three decades later it has become one of the nation’s most celebrated and competitive holiday events. The Traditions Club in Bryan, Texas, holds the title of the “nation’s biggest gingerbread house.” This nearly 2,500 square feet marvel is 60 feet in length, 42 feet wide, and over 20 feet tall at its highest point. To put this into perspective, the house (which required a building permit) consists of 1,800 pounds of butter, 1,080 ounces of ground ginger, 7,200 eggs, 7,200 pounds of flour, 3,000 pounds of brown sugar, 225 gallons of molasses, and 22,304 pieces of candy for decoration. Wow!
BEST CANDIES FOR DECORATING
• Gumdrops and Dots
• M&Ms
• Holiday Hershey’s Hugs and Kisses
• Mini Candy Canes
• Peppermints
• Sprinkles and Pearls
• Twix Chocolate Bars
• Red and Green Licorice
ROYAL ICING RECIPE
Royal icing is perfect for decorating gingerbread houses and cookies. This sweet, hard icing makes piping and intricate designs easy. (thespruceeats.com)
Ingredients
• 4 large egg whites
• 1 lb. powdered sugar
• 1 tsp. lemon juice
• food coloring, if desired
Directions
1. Beat the egg whites on high speed until foamy.
2. Switch to low speed and gradually sift the sugar into the egg whites until it's completely incorporated.
3. Add the lemon juice and beat on high speed until the icing is very thick and forms stiff peaks, about 5 to 10 minutes.
4. At this point, you can add the food coloring if you're only going to need a full batch of one color. If you need more than one color, separate quantities of icing into individual bowls and just stir in the coloring you want.
ON A MISSION: LAKE NORMAN’S KELLY MALLON YOUNG & HER UNSTOPPABLE DRIVE TO SUPPORT GLOBAL CHANGE
by JOANNA HAGAN
Kelly Mallon Young’s commitment to combat human trafficking has landed her in some unexpected endeavors. On September 21st, International Peace Day, Kelly found herself at the pickleball courts at Cowans Ford Golf Club in Stanley, NC, where she completed a marathon of 26.2 hours of nonstop pickleball play to raise money for Sisters Rising Worldwide (SRW) and their fight against human trafficking. “Human trafficking occurs in every zip code, including in and around Lake Norman. Prevention, awareness and protection are key to preventing this crime from claiming more victims,” Kelly said. Kelly raised more than $33,000, surpassing her original fundraising goal, but she is far from the finish line when it comes to giving back.
When Kelly is off the pickleball court, she can be found at her home in Denver, NC on Zoom calls with some of the most powerful women she knows – religious Sisters from across the United States, Africa, Europe and Central America. After retiring from a successful career in sales, Kelly now volunteers as the full time COO for Sisters Rising Worldwide, the largest movement of women for good the world has ever known. Their mission is to unite nearly 650,000 religious Sisters across 190 countries, empowering them to bring systemic change in their communities.
Catholic Sisters live and work on the ground in the world’s most vulnerable communities. As frontline advocates, they possess unparalleled dedication and expertise to address the most pressing challenges facing our world. In addition to combating the threat of human trafficking, Sisters are working to eradicate poverty, provide healthcare services to those in need, educate marginalized women and children, and promote peace in violent neighborhoods. Kelly and her team are driven to ensure Sisters have the resources they need to tackle the root causes of these issues. Sisters Rising Worldwide offers Sisters an online platform called the PeaceRoom, where they can connect and bring their projects to life, share insights and recruit others to contribute to their work through direct donations. Kelly’s work with SRW has made an enormous impact. To date, SRW has raised more than $4 million and supported more than 90 Sister-led projects in 29 countries, impacting more than 200,000 lives.
In her TEDx talk, The Power of Nun, Kelly explains why she feels personally called to champion the work of this fierce group of social justice warriors and why they need the help of everyone who wants to combat social injustice and protect the most vulnerable. She says of the Sisters, “These women do such incredible work, but no one sees [it]. They are so humble. They aren’t waiting for recognition. They simply work hard so everyone has a chance to flourish.”
The good news is that helping these unsung heroes is easy. As the end of the year approaches, Kelly encourages individuals in Lake Norman and across the country to get involved. “By donating to Sisters Rising Worldwide, you empower Sisters with the resources they need, amplify their voices and create a world where peace, justice and compassion prevail. Ninety percent of your contribution goes directly to empowering Sister-led projects. That is a great return on investment!” Kelly remarked.
There’s more good news for Lake Norman pickleball players, too. Kelly will be back on the court on January 11th, National Human Trafficking Awareness Day, for the Paddle Up to Protect Pickleball Tournament. Grab your paddle and join her and Sisters Rising Worldwide at Pickleball Charlotte, Northlake, as they hit the courts to bring awareness to human trafficking and raise funds for trafficking survivors and prevention programs being led by Catholic Sisters around the world. Sign up to raise money and play along with Kelly, or consider sponsoring or donating and coming out to cheer on all the competitors playing pickleball for a good purpose.
To learn more about Sisters Rising Worldwide, visit srw.org.
From L to R: Charlotte area residents Bill and Melissa Bippus, Kelly Mallon Young, and Bobby Chopra help Kelly achieve her pickleball marathon goal.
Kelly Mallon Young before she attempted her 26.2 pickleball marathon.
DON’T WASTE YOUR PAIN
by JEAN MARIE JOHNSON
If you are one of the nearly six million people who tune into The Voice each season, I’m with you. The competition, the silliness, and oh, - the talent ! Of course, I don’t look to The Voice for pearls of wisdom, but I’m always open to it. Some of the personal stories of contestants melt my heart. Commenting on the journey of one vocal hopeful, Judge Gwen Stefani insightfully said: “That’s right. Don’t waste your pain.”
That four word statement stayed with me all through the next day and took up residence in my thought space. With a bold backward glance at my own journey and that of others close to my heart, I asked: How have we managed to move forward? How have we managed to not waste our pain? Some of us experienced significant pain brought on by dysfunctional relationships, painful divorces, grief piled on by the tragic, sudden losses of loved ones. Others experienced the shock and pain of chronic or life-threatening illness, children lost in addiction, and severe personal hardship that drastically changed life as they knew it.
There is no prettying -up here. The pain was and is real. And so is the fact that we are all still here, still standing, still moving forward. I marvel at our resiliency. In a very real way, every single one of us was profoundly changed by the crushing pain or trauma we experienced. We all know folks who don’t make it back, who succumb to depression, to unhealthy forms of escape, to selfneglect, to despair or worse. We don’t judge because we get it.
Gwen Stefani’s “don’t waste your pain” moment reminded me of how those I know followed that wisdom. No matter how deeply affected, they found a way to move forward. I confess that I find it hard to say that any one of us is “completely healed,” as though pain, trauma and its aftereffects can be wiped clean like a blackboard. I don’t think it works that way. Not one of us is the person we were before the you -know -what hit the fan. We’re different. We’ve been shaken to the core and have learned that what we do with the aftermath is on us.
I’ve looked, and oh, how I have listened. Here are some of the ways we dealt with that mess so that our pain wasn’t wasted:
We broke our silence
We laid ourselves bare to those we most trust. Ugly, raw, a hot, honest mess. Some of us sought the wisdom and experience of trained psychotherapists, psychologists, and spiritual advisors.
By sharing our pain and being understood and comforted by others, we began the journey to healing.
We challenged our thinking
Some of us asked ourselves what part we played in the pain and trauma we were experiencing. We found the grace to ask “Is there something I am supposed to learn from this? Or what can I possibly learn from this? By doing so, we chose not to be a victim of our experience.
We worked on our anger and reached for forgiveness
We recognized how our anger kept us trapped. We began to let go of the bad feelings inside of us to make room for more of the good stuff. Doing so doesn’t mean that someone who hurt you is off the hook; it only means that we are no longer allowing our angry emotions to hold us hostage.
We channeled our pain creatively
Many of us tapped into our creativity to channel our experience. Some of us sang our way through, others wrote cathartic poetry or took a brush to a canvas. We leaned into a very personal outlet for transforming our pain.
We reminded ourselves that we are not alone
In the throes of deep pain, trauma, or loss, we can feel completely alone and unmoored. Many of us reminded ourselves and one another that there are others who “get it,” whether that’s the shock of betrayal, the shame of sexual assault, the despair of losing a child, or being diagnosed with a deadly disease.
We gifted our story
By walking this path, we grew in insight and strength; we understood that we needn’t waste our pain. That even this which has caused us so much suffering, can be turned into a humble yet strong offering to someone on a similar journey.
We renewed our commitment to gratitude as the fuel to sustain us.
CAREGIVING:
Taking Care of Yourself While Caring For Someone Else
by DEBBIE BARR www.debbiebarr.com
In 2014, I began a new job that would have a profound impact on my life. As the new coordinator of a memory counseling program at a local hospital, I soon developed relationships with many caregivers – usually a husband or wife caring for their spouse or an adult child caring for a parent with some type of dementia. As I interacted with these caregivers one-onone in the office, on the phone and in support groups, I developed great empathy and a profound respect for those engaged in the labor of love we call caregiving. I’ve come to regard caregiving as one of the most difficult –and most important – jobs in the world. And, that’s true whether the cared for person has dementia, a long-term condition such as Parkinson’s disease or is recovering from an accident or surgery.
Caregiving has been described as a journey. It’s not the “traveling-fromone-place-to-another” kind of journey. It’s a journey of compassion, walking alongside someone coping with illness or disability or the effects of aging. But, caregiving is never just about the person needing care. No matter whom a person is caring for, or why, or for how long, the caregiving journey is always also about the caregiver. And while most caregivers do a spectacular job of taking care of their loved one, far too many don’t do nearly as good a job of taking care of themselves. Well meaning caregivers sometimes sacrifice their own physical, emotional, social and other needs, so they can pour all their energy and time into taking care of their loved one. While that sounds noble and loving, it’s really not. It actually puts the cared-for person at risk.
In my book, I challenge caregivers to rethink the importance of self-care, telling them:
Here’s the truth. If you ignore your own needs for restful sleep, healthy food, exercise, medical care, spiritual nurture and “time off,” sooner or later, you will be unable to go on meeting the needs of the person in your care. Unless you make caring for yourself a top priority, you may burn out or bail out. And, where would that leave the person you’re caring for?
When caregivers make their own well being a priority, they have more endurance to meet the challenges of caregiving. Being well rested and healthy helps keep their emotional and physical reserves from running out. It enables them to be the patient, loving and truly caring caregiver they want to be. But, sometimes caregivers think: “The needs of the person I’m caring for are so much greater than mine! How can I possibly put my needs ahead of theirs?” If that’s how they’re thinking, taking care of themselves feels selfish.
So, one goal of this faith-based mini-book is to convince caregivers that tending to their own health and well being actually helps protect that person they care for. To say that another way, caregivers need to prioritize their own self-care so that they can keep on taking good care of the other person.
Do you know a caregiver who feels that self-care is “selfish?” If so, I hope you will share this message with them – self-care isn’t selfish at all; it’s an investment that will be repaid in a better quality of life for the caregiver
a better quality of care for their
it’s
isn’t just
Caregiving is never just about the person needing care. No matter who a person is caring for, or why, or for how long, the caregiving journey is always also about the caregiver.
and
loved one. Self-care
smart –
necessary! That’s the key message of Caregiving: Taking Care of Yourself While Caring for Someone Else.
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Dear Dr. Keith,
I am the mother of a 21-year-old man who isn’t making the best of choices, what I believe to be addictive behaviors regarding alcohol and drugs. My husband and I are doing everything we can to help him, yet he continues to be disrespectful, defiant and physically and emotionally abusive. We’ve caught him lying and stealing money from us a few times to support his addiction. Enforcing rules hasn’t been our strong suit, and we’ve allowed him to get away with his poor choices and bad behavior with little or no consequences throughout his life. We’ve not had any issues with his older sister who is a high achiever and has found success in her life, a great job, good friends and a bright future. I believe that might be part of the problem – his jealousy and resentment towards his sister. He also struggles with the decision I made to divorce his biological father when he was 12 which is hard for me to understand because his dad wasn’t present when he was young and still isn’t now. We’ve made his life as easy as we possibly can, minimizing his responsibilities around the house so he can focus on getting his college degree. Yet, he still treats us poorly and is struggling with his grades. He says he hates his life and blames his failures on us. Deep down inside, he’s really a good kid, and I’m optimistic he’ll turn his life around. I don’t want him to be too hard on himself because he’s already struggling, and I don’t want him to hate me. What can I do to help him? I want to make him happy, but I don’t know what to do. Please help.
Sarah K., Charlotte
ASK DR. KEITH
by KEITH O’NEILL, PH.D.,C.HT.
Hey Sarah,
As parents, we’re usually at peace when our kids are thriving, and I’m sorry you’re struggling. Idealistically, you want to believe your son is a good kid; realistically, he’s not. Good kids/people don’t lie, steal or physically and mentally abuse others. When you choose to look at your son realistically, you’ll be able to set healthy boundaries and implement strategies/rules that will help you both, as long as you’re willing to enforce consequences. It starts with you. Enabling is disabling and entitlement cripples. Your daughter’s success is no excuse for his failures, because there is no excuse for bad behavior. By the way, he’s a 21-year-old man, not a kid anymore, and you need to start treating him as such. If he’s struggling in college, maybe it’s time to look at other options; he might not be a college guy. Trade schools are a great option. The plumbers and electricians of the world are doing well because of the demand for their services, and the lack of licensed professionals. He can only treat you poorly if you allow it, so stop allowing it. Stop parenting him out of fear of him being unhappy or not loving you because that gives him the power to manipulate you. If you choose to do anything in life fear based such as running a business, relationships or raising kids, you’ll lose. Our job as parents is to teach our kids to be accountable, adaptable, responsible, respectable and resilient in a world that is not fair and is constantly changing. This can’t happen if it’s not required. It’s time for you to toughen up and set healthy boundaries with your son and allow him to make his mistakes without you saving or covering up for him. That’s the way we learn – from our mistakes if we choose to. He may not like you for it, but ultimately, he’ll learn to respect you. If you give a man a fish, he’ll feed his family for a day. If you teach him how to fish, he’ll feed them for a lifetime. It sounds like it’s time to teach your son how to fish.
Keith O’Neill Ph.D., C.Ht is a Psychotherapist, Professional Speaker, Author, Clinical and Sports Hypnotherapist, Mental Performance/Self-Esteem Coach and survivor of a life threatening head injury. If you’re struggling emotionally, need a speaker or a mental performance coach, visit theself-esteemcoach.com for more information.
If you have questions for Dr. Keith, email them to keith@s-teamkids.com.
Local honey made from the abundant variety of flowering plants growing around Lake Norman.
“The taste of local honey is something you will never forget. It stays with you like a fond memory.”
George
McAllister, Owner, Bees of Lake Norman
THE CHRISTMAS POTATO SOUP
by MEGAN TAYLOR
We all have special foods we eat only during the holidays. These meals, in some way, have a sentimental meaning and are beloved traditions. They may hold a family connection, seasonal flavor, cultural origin, or begin as a “new recipe we should try” and then end as a must-eat family favorite each Christmas season. That is exactly what happened to me and my family.
My family used to rotate hosting Christmas every year with other family members. A meal was always a part of the festivities, along with a gift exchange, a reading of the Christmas story, and games into the night. As for the meal, it was always planned weeks in advance. There were the traditional Christmas foods served: ham, turkey, Chick-fil-A chicken nuggets, a variety of vegetables, bread, punch, and dessert. But every so often, new dishes would appear, one being a baked potato soup. Since this recipe graced our table, it has become a tradition that we can’t miss eating on Christmas Eve.
This recipe was found and first made by my Nana. The soup tastes like a typical potato soup, but with a little extra pizzazz. It is a cheesy, gooey bowl of warmth and comfort, topped with your customary baked potato toppings. However, it is more than just a soup. Similar to watching only certain movies at Christmas or listening to certain songs, these special holiday foods bring back memories. When the first bite hits your mouth or its smell when cooking fills the air, you suddenly recall treasured moments of past Christmases. You are taken back to the time when you first tasted the dish, those who were around you, and the person who made it. After all, isn’t that what Christmas is all about?
Christmas is the time of the year for loved ones, coming together, reminiscing about the past, and creating new memories. And what better way to do that than with the power of food. For decades, food has been known to bring people together. It is a source of fellowship and love. Having a beloved, special, once-a-year holiday dish is also a symbol of generosity and hospitality. While eating together, your loved ones develop a sense of belonging, communication, and acceptance - some of the main ingredients needed in a classic Christmas get-together.
Baked Potato Soup Ingredients:
• 4 cups baked and diced potatoes
• 2/3 cup butter
• 2/3 cup flour
• 2 Tablespoons minced onion
• 7 cups milk
• 8 oz. sour cream
• 1 ¼ cups grated cheese of choice (I use a combination of Velveeta and shredded cheddar cheese. Also, I add in more cheese based on taste.)
• ¼ teaspoon pepper
• 12 slices bacon, cooked and crumbled
Directions:
1. Bake, cool, peel, and dice the potatoes. Place in the bowl and set aside.
2.Melt the butter in a large saucepan. Then, mix in the flour. Add the onion. Slowly, add in the 7 cups of milk, stirring constantly until the mixture thickens to a medium white sauce. Add in the potatoes and cheese. Once combined, stir in the bacon, sour cream, and pepper. Heat until the cheese is melted. Serve with additional cheese, sour cream, and bacon on top.
Now that my Nana has passed, my family has continued to make the potato soup every Christmas Eve in her honor. The first year after she was gone, we couldn’t find the recipe, but after digging through some drawers, there it was, waiting to be made for another year. Holiday recipes are also a source of discussion and should be passed down from generation to generation. They are little reminders that the ones who have left us are still with us during the Christmas season.
Maybe the recipe for the Baked Potato Soup will make its way to your Christmas dinner. Trust me, it is delicious and mouth-watering!
TRACKSIDE TALKS:
DEFYING THE ODDS
by CLAIR CROW
Mooresville native and professional race car driver Lance Fenderson was a junior in high school competing for his school in a lacrosse game in 2019 when he collided with a player from the opposite team, which resulted in an injury leaving Fenderson paralyzed from the chest down. In an instant, Fenderson’s life changed forever, and any dream he had of pursuing racing as a full time career came to a halt. But, because of Fenderson’s resilience, that halt was only temporary. It had been more than five years since Fenderson had raced competitively when, this past October, he found himself behind the wheel again in competitive fashion and with something to prove. This is Lance Fenderson’s story – and it’s only the beginning.
Fenderson first began racing go-karts when he was five years old. Fenderson described racing up until the point of his injury as “a massive part and arguably most important part” of his life. Over the course of the next decade-plus, he went from racing go-karts to F1600s to sports cars. During those years, he accumulated many race wins and found himself competing against well-known drivers such as Logan Sargent, Enzo Fittipaldi, Ty Gibbs, Sam Mayer and Devlin DeFrancesco. As Fenderson put it, “I knew how much racing meant to me, and I knew I was good enough to make it as a career,” but after his injury happened, he started to think it probably wasn’t an option anymore, so he pivoted and began to focus more on his education. Fenderson currently attends North Carolina State University in Raleigh, NC and will graduate with a degree in mechanical engineering this December which gives him more of a well-rounded approach to the world of motorsports, now understanding not only the racing side of it, but also, the business side.
After years of rebuilding his strength both physically and mentally, Fenderson began to see entering back into racing as a definite possibility and was eager to start training and working out all the details in order to compete again. On February 29th, 2024, he got
into a racecar again, describing that moment as “honestly terrifying.” Prior to his injury, the driver’s seat had always been a comfortable space, not requiring any thought. Being behind the wheel had always “felt like home,” but getting back into one again was completely different, at least in the beginning. In order for Fenderson to compete again, adaptations such as a reduced steering rack allowing him to drive with one hand as well as a push and pull handle for the gas and brake had to be made.
Not only has he had to prepare physically and mentally, he has also been faced with the challenge of finding a series willing to license him to race. Though it wasn’t easy, he ultimately was able to obtain a BMW CCA (Car Club of America) Club Racing license, and during his first time back racing at the track, Fenderson accumulated four wins in four races. When asked how it felt to have a comeback like that, Fenderson said, “Being on a competitive stage felt amazing, moreso because of the hard work that’s taken place in the last eight months. Countless people have told me what my limitations will be, and there’s been lots of doubt and speculation, so it has taken a lot of mental strength and baby steps in the right direction.”
Continued on page 70.
Fenderson describes himself as “not one of the people who expects others to look at me and feel bad for me,” but rather, he is the opposite. When driving a race car, Fenderson says, “It’s the only thing I’ve found so far that allows me to compete and be even better than some ablebodied people at the exact same sport, and they have no idea I’m doing it any differently.” He continued, “In a way, I’m hiding behind the sheet metal and carbon of the doors, being able to be a physical athlete…it’s a really empowering feeling I’ve loved to experience.” Fenderson is now currently in the process of getting approved for a NASA (National Auto Sport Association) license and is hopeful that, by 2026, he will reach his larger goal of being approved for a license to race in the IMSA (International Motor Sports Association) series, which is the highest level of sports car racing.
Fenderson is the kind of guy who is defying odds and seeks to inspire others, but who inspires him? Fenderson shared, “The more inspiring people to me are the ones who are going through the pain and suffering now; the people who are in the same place now as I was five years ago. They inspire me to keep going and be successful, so they can see there’s still possibility and opportunity out there.” Fenderson doesn’t take for granted the incredible support system and access to resources he has had that helped him get to this point. He says it is because of their support that he is able to “get out of bed every morning” and not let his injury swallow him whole. His support system is made up of his dad, his mom and his younger brother, as well as his girlfriend and many friends and extended family members. Notably, his dad has “always been the biggest person” to Fenderson as far as racing goes. His dad has never missed a race Fenderson has competed in, and it has been a dream come true to be able to share that with him again.
As stated in the beginning, this is only the beginning of Fenderson’s story. It’s clear he has more to prove in his racing career and, in the long term, he has high hopes to create a foundation to provide opportunities for others with spinal cord injuries to experience the same feeling he has when driving a race car. Be on the lookout for what is to come in Fenderson’s story by following him on instagram @ lancefenderson23 or check out his website at lancefendersonracing.com.
I hope you enjoyed hearing about who Fenderson is and what he’s been up to. Most importantly, I hope you’ve felt inspired.
JOYFUL JOURNEY
CHRISTMAS LIGHTS & DISPLAYS IN THE LAKE NORMAN AREA
by ROBIN SHUPE KELLER
The Lake Norman area is known for its scenic waterfront views, vibrant communities and charming small towns. During the holiday season, this area comes alive with some of the most impressive Christmas light displays and festive events in the state. Whether you’re a local or a visitor, here are some of the best Christmas light displays and events around Lake Norman that are sure to bring holiday cheer to everyone.
The Lake Norman area offers a wide variety of spectacular Christmas light displays and festive events, from traditional townwide displays like McAdenville to large-scale, immersive shows at places like the Charlotte Motor Speedway. Whether you prefer to drive through twinkling light tunnels, stroll through a winter wonderland or visit with Santa, there’s something for everyone in this scenic and festive region.
So, pack up the family, bundle up for the chilly nights and experience the magic of the season in the Lake Norman area. Whether you’re visiting or a local resident, these holiday displays are sure to make the Christmas season brighter!
Outdoor Christmas decorations at McAdenvilleChristmas Town USA.
CHRISTMAS AT BIRKDALE VILLAGE (HUNTERSVILLE)
Birkdale Village, located in Huntersville, is a popular outdoor shopping center that transforms into a winter wonderland during the holiday season. The center is beautifully adorned with thousands of twinkling lights and festive decorations. Visitors can enjoy strolling through the area while listening to holiday music, and there’s a large Christmas tree in the center square that is a focal point of the display.
HIGHLIGHTS:
• A large, well-decorated Christmas tree
• Holiday lights on all the storefronts
• Visits with Santa Claus
• Birkdale on Ice: Ice skating rink
Special events, including holiday markets and entertainment
Birkdale Village’s Christmas lights display is a favorite for families with its mix of retail therapy, beautiful light displays and family friendly activities.
MCADENVILLE – THE CHRISTMAS TOWN USA (MCADENVILLE)
Just a short drive from the Lake Norman area, McAdenville is a hidden gem for those who love traditional Christmas displays. McAdenville, known as “Christmas Town USA,” has been a holiday destination for more than 60 years. The entire town, with its quaint homes and tree-lined streets, is lit up with more than 600,000 lights.
HIGHLIGHTS:
• More than 600,000 lights decorating homes, churches and the town’s landmark areas
• Tree Lighting Ceremony – December 2nd
• A Yule Log Parade – December 12th
• A lake full of floating Christmas trees
• Christmas music played in the town square
WHEN TO VISIT: December 2nd through the 26th. The lights are turned on each night at 5:30 p.m.
McAdenville’s Christmas Town USA is one of the most iconic Christmas light displays in the Charlotte region, drawing thousands of visitors every year.
HOLIDAYS AT THE GARDEN AT DANIEL STOWE BOTANICAL GARDEN (BELMONT)
Located just a short drive from Lake Norman, the Daniel Stowe Botanical Garden in Belmont offers a serene and breathtaking holiday display. The Holidays at the Garden features an enchanting display of lights set among the beautiful gardens. The light show is perfect for those who want a quieter, more peaceful experience amidst the natural beauty of the gardens.
HIGHLIGHTS:
• Thousands of twinkling lights set throughout the botanical gardens
• Festive decorations and seasonal displays in the gardens
• Holiday themed exhibits including model trains and an outdoor Christmas village
• Special holiday events like visits with Santa, trackless train rides and family activities
WHEN TO VISIT: The festival runs from late November through December from 5:00 p.m. - 10:00 p.m. Tuesdays through Sundays.
CHARLOTTE MOTOR SPEEDWAY –SPEEDWAY CHRISTMAS (CONCORD)
While technically a bit outside the immediate Lake Norman area, Speedway Christmas at the Charlotte Motor Speedway is a mustsee for those who enjoy large, immersive holiday light shows. It features the largest drive-through Christmas light show in North Carolina with more than five million lights on display.
HIGHLIGHTS:
• More than five million lights and themed light displays
• A drive-through experience that lets you explore the expansive light show at your own pace
• A walk-through Christmas village with Santa, food and festive activities
• A massive holiday tree and photo ops
• Special holiday events like movie nights and Santa’s Workshop
WHEN TO VISIT: Speedway Christmas is typically open from late November through January 5th from 6:00 p.m. - 10:00 p.m. Be sure to check for event details and schedule. This massive light display is a holiday tradition for many families, offering a memorable experience for those who want to explore a wide range of light displays and enjoy other holiday festivities.
CALENDAR OF EVENTS
DISCLAIMER: Event details are subject to change. Please check event websites and social media pages for updates as the dates draw near.
DECEMBER
1-8
GINGERBREAD HOUSE COMPETITION
Lake Norman State Park, 759 State Park Road in Troutman.
What better way to get into the holiday spirit than by making a gingerbread house? Register now for the Lake Norman State Park Gingerbread House Competition! Your gingerbread house entry must be dropped off at the visitor center by December 1st. Don’t forget to turn in your completed registration form! In lieu of a registration fee, we ask that you consider donating to the Friends of Lake Norman State Park. Park visitors will then vote for their favorite house from December 1st-8th.
Even if you’re not interested in entering the contest, be sure to stop by then to help us judge! The winner will receive a Lake Norman State Park prize pack, and the winning house will be on display at the visitor center until December 20th.
DECEMBER 5
MERRY MAHJONG
6-8pm, Home2Court, 18059 4 West Catawba Avenue in Cornelius.
Mahj 101. Sip, shop and learn Mahjong. Register early at charlottemahjong.com/ home2court.
DECEMBER
7
CHRISTMAS CRAFT BAZAAR
9am-3pm, 7062 Camp Dogwood Drive in Sherrills Ford.
Join us for our 2024 Christmas Craft Bazaar! This is a free event to the public. There will be food, drinks, wonderful artists and much more. Supporting our Christmas Craft Bazaar not only promotes local artisans and holiday spirit but also contributes to a meaningful cause for the blind and visually impaired community. We work alongside Camp Dogwood for the Blind and Visually Impaired.
Our mission is to improve the quality of life for those in the visually impaired community.
HAVE AN EVENT TO SHARE?
Scan the QR code above or visit lkn-magazine.com/submitevent to submit an event.
DECEMBER
8,
15 & 22
SANTA CLAUS AT SWEET GRASS
12-4pm, 146-H Mooresville Commons Way in Mooresville.
Santa will be at SweetGrass on Sundays, December 8,15,22 from noon to 4. It is first come, first serve. No reservations taken. There is no charge for Santa. Bring your cell phone, camera, etc. We will be onhand to take pictures of the entire family. Santa is also pet friendly so bring your dog, cat, etc. Rain or shine.
DECEMBER
10
SYMPHONY PARK LUNCH & LEARN
11:30am-2pm, Symphony Park.
Experience Symphony Park firsthand at an upcoming Lunch & Learn event, where you’ll enjoy an exclusive tour of our beautiful facilities, gain valuable insights from our expert team during a special presentation and savor a delicious lunch at our bistro.
Call 704.351.6404 to RSVP.
CALENDAR OF EVENTS
DISCLAIMER: Event details are subject to change. Please check event websites and social media pages for updates as the dates draw near.
DECEMBER
11
COCO COUTURE’S HOLIDAY OPEN HOUSE
5-7:30pm, CoCo Couture.
Enjoy an evening filled with holiday cheer, exclusive deals, festive fun and designer fashion!
Here’s what’s in store: signature cocktails & lite bites, select a ribbon from our holiday giving tree to reveal your special discount from 10-40% off, free swag bags for all attendees and a festive selfie station to capture the holiday spirit. Bring a friend and sip, shop and enjoy an unforgettable night. See you there!
DECEMBER
13
A CLASSIC CHRISTMAS IN MOORESVILLE
5-9pm, Downtown Mooresville.
Embrace the magic of the season at A Classic Christmas in Mooresville. Immerse yourself in the holiday spirit as the streets come alive with local artisans and Christmas lights. Create memories as you enjoy live entertainment, shopping at downtown businesses and traditional holiday activities such as ice skating, horse-drawn wagon rides, Santa visits, a carousel, train rides, Christmas photo opportunities and carolers. Enjoy a variety of food vendors, warm beverages and sweet treats as you get in the holiday spirit.
A Classic Christmas in Mooresville promises a nostalgic and heartwarming experience for the whole family.
DECEMBER
14
CHRISTMAS BAZAAR
9am-2pm, Bethel Presbyterian Church.
Enjoy the world-famous Port-A-Pit, chicken BBQ plate, bake sale, wreaths, art, jewelry, homemade greeting cards, beautiful glass angels, children’s art table, Christmas music, Christmas stories, fascinating hat vendor and many, many more!
100% of the proceeds will go directly to Children’s Hope Alliance of Troutman, NC.
HAVE AN EVENT TO SHARE?
Scan the QR code above or visit lkn-magazine.com/submitevent to submit an event.
DECEMBER
14
PARENTS’ NIGHT OUT AT EVEREST GYMNASTICS
6-9pm, Everest Gymnastics Training Center in Cornelius.
Looking for a fun and active evening for your kids? Everest Gymnastics offers Parents’ Night Out where kids enjoy exciting gymnastics activities like trampoline jumping, foam pits and tumble tracks. They’ll have a blast while improving their gymnastics skills through structured play. The night also includes pizza, music and social games.
Cost: $45 (non-members), $40 (members), $30 (siblings). Spots are limited, so reserve today!
CALENDAR OF EVENTS
DISCLAIMER: Event details are subject to change. Please check event websites and social media pages for updates as the dates draw near.
DECEMBER
19
PAM TILLIS ACOUSTIC TRIO –COUNTRY CHRISTMAS
7-9pm, Cain Center for the Arts, 21348 Catawba Avenue in Cornelius.
As the daughter of country music royalty, Pam Tillis has performed on the stages of Broadway in New York, modeled on the pages of Glamour Magazine and is a proud member of The Grand Ole Opry. A three-time Country Music Award winner, a two-time Grammy award winner and an American Music Award nominee, Pam Tillis and her Acoustic Trio handle holiday music in a masterful way with a unique approach that celebrates country music at its best. Tickets: $55-$75/person.
DECEMBER
21
LAKE NORMAN HALF MARATHON ELF CLASSIC
126 Exmore Road in Mooresville.
Additional race information can be found at epicsportsmarketing.com/lakenorman-half-marathon-elf-classic-5k.
JANUARY 11
PADDLE UP TO PROTECT PICKLEBALL TOURNAMENT
Pickleball Charlotte, Northlake, 8626 Hankins Road in Charlotte.
Grab your paddle and join Sisters Rising Worldwide at Pickleball Charlotte, Northlake to bring awareness to human trafficking and raise funds for trafficking survivors and prevention programs being led by Catholic Sisters around the world. Sign up to raise money and play along, or consider sponsoring or donating and coming out to cheer on all the competitors playing pickleball for a good purpose. To learn more about Sisters Rising Worldwide, visit srw.org.
LOCAL EVENTS EASILY!
Distributed to over 400 locations and read by thousands of people in and around Iredell, Catawba, Lincoln, and Mecklenburg counties, LKN Magazine is a FREE monthly publication that is positively inspired and community-focused. We love helping local businesses and nonprofits tell their story to their target market and invite you to submit your events and business happenings to our calendar of events to be a part of our community in every issue.
