FISHBOWL MAGAZINE MARCH 2023

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READ US ONLINE AT FISHBOWLMAGAZINE.COM EMAIL US TODAY AT THESALTYFISHBOWL@HOTMAIL.COM get your february horoscope Page 11 SALT SPRING ARTS PRESENTS KIROUAC & FIELKOV Monday February 20th page 3 Salt Spring Island NATIONAL ART PRIZE Page 6 WHAT'S ON THE "ROCK" Page 8 photo credit lindsay dakin FEBRUARY 2023 FISSUE #173
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2023 BC Family Day Event KIROUAC & FIELKOV "Habitats"

Monday February 20th at Mahon Hall

Hop over to Mahon Hall for some free Family Day fun!

Salt Spring Arts is thrilled to present KIROUAC & FIELKOV in Habitats for our 9th annual free Family Day Event. You and your family are invited to join us for a delightful celebration of children and families. The afternoon will begin at 1 pm with magical face painting, ear-raising crafts and pin the the cottontail on the bunny as we enjoy delicious snacks and await the show. The performance will begin promptly at 2 pm. Each year on Family Day, Salt Spring Arts presents family-friendly festivities at Mahon Hall that promise fun, creativity and the magic of live performance.

“Habitats is an enchanting performance for all ages, blending physical comedy, dance and circus and celebrating the power of imagination.”

**Winner of the Mollie Bradley & the Joanna Maratta Award**

** Nominated ‘Best Physical Piece’ by the SKAMpede Young Company**

“An entirely new and strange dimension (...) Totally enchanting. So elegant and whimsical.” – Miranda Posse

A twist between Fellini and Lewis Carroll, Habitats is a captivating performance for all ages combining elements of physical comedy, contemporary dance and circus. Accompanied by a mysterious white hare, a woman travels through dream-like roads in search of home. Through her journey into the unknown, she transforms her fears into curiosity. Celebrating the power of imagination, Habitats is a living poem about migration, transformation and the interaction between humans and other animals.

Isabelle Kirouac is an interdisciplinary choreographer, dance artist, acrobatic stilt walker, mother and arts educator. She uses movement as a tool to investigate the poetics of the senses and to process questions raised in her everyday life. Isabelle has presented her work and toured across Canada, the USA, Mexico, Colombia and Europe. She holds an MFA in Interdisciplinary Arts from the School for the Contemporary Arts at Simon Fraser University. Born in Quebec/Abenaki territories, she now lives in Vancouver, on the traditional and the traditional and unceded lands of the Musqueam, Squamish and Tsleil-Waututh nations.

Critically acclaimed performing artist Nayana Fielkov is dedicated to the work of play. She is based on the unceded territories of the Coast Salish peoples–Sḵwx̱wú7mesh (Squamish), Stó:lō and Səl ílwətaʔ/ Selilwitulh (Tsleil-Waututh) and xwməθkwəy əm (Musqueam) Nations. Beginning with scripted plays and musicals over two decades ago, she evolved through the creation and wearing of masks, into the worlds of clown and devised theatre. Nayana is co-creator of the multi-award winning shows: Hotel Vortruba, Falling Awake, A Can of Worms from RAGMOP Theatre, Habitats, Underbelly and The Myrtle Sisters. Along with her touring duo and solo shows, she creates ensemble work, variety acts, and is a teacher of clown and movement practices.

Habitats is not to be missed, a rare production, tantalizing the imaginations of all ages, it is the perfect Family Day experience.

We are grateful to the Province of British Columbia which provided Salt Spring Arts with funding in support of our free, community Family Day event. We are also thankful to BC Ferries, for their support in making this event possible.

For more information please visit: www.saltspringarts.com/community-initiatives/family-day/

Salt Spring Island’s #1 Source for Arts, Entertainment & Culture. Check out our Facebook page!
Ad Sales: Deadlines are the 10th of the month previous to book ad space & submit content. Calendar events can be submitted up until the 15th. For rates & information call Genevieve today at 250.538.8427 or email thesaltyfishbowl@hotmail.com
THE FISHBOWL is brought to you by publisher Genevieve Price Columnists: Seth Shugar, Mishka Campbell, Jen Redpath, Jessica Terezakis & Hannah Webb ND. Green Printing & Layout: Imagine That Graphics.ca
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PRODUCT REVIEWS

Jamieson Vitamin D Supplements

Winter is upon us and so is the risk of Vitamin D deficiency and infections.

By consuming more Vitamin D during the winter your gut microbes will be healthier and you’ll be more resistant to infection and inflammation year-round.

Studies have shown that low levels of Vitamin D were linked to higher levels of depression and anxiety. Even a low dose can help to regulate moods and I have used it for this for years as for me February, like November is a tough month to get through.

Vitamin D, which is made in our skin following sunlight exposure and also found in oily fish (mackerel, tuna and sardines), mushrooms and fortified dairy and nondairy substitutes, is essential for good health. Humans need Vitamin D to keep healthy and to fight infections. The irony is that in winter, when people need Vitamin D the most, most of us are not getting enough.

So how much should we take? Exactly how much Vitamin D healthy adults should have is debated. Some authorities recommend from 200 IU per day to 2,000 IU per day. Talk to your doctor or Pharmasave Pharmacist to decide what dose is right for you.

live on stage in February 2023

February showers us with arts, culture, and community at ArtSpring this month with stirring music and dance performances, thought-provoking films, and a new exhibit of paintings and photography.

On February 3, Jasmine Jazz features an unusual and exquisite east-meets-west interplay between traditional Chinese and jazz instruments. Led by Juno-nominated bassist and composer Jodi Proznick, three musicians from the Vancouver Chinese Music Ensemble join some of Vancouver’s finest jazz artists.

It’s a back-to-back weekend on Feb 10th and 11th with Canadian pianist and Vancouver Academy of Music conductor Ian Parker returning to captivate audiences with an enthusiastic recital, followed by popular Top 10 singer-songwriter Andrew Allen, who has toured with the likes of Bruno Mars and One Republic. Allen’s comic wit and story-telling ability, smooth vocals, and great songwriting create a dynamic, interactive live show.

Graveyards and Gardens arrives February 16, a collaborative performance installation conceived, created, and performed by Pulitzer Prize-winning musician and composer Caroline Shaw and award-winning choreographer and contemporary dance artist Vanessa Goodman. Highlighted by Stir as one of the most memorable Vancouver theatre moments in 2021, the work examines memory as a process of reconstruction rather than an exact recall of fixed events. Part dance, part concert, it’s a mesmerizing and exciting collaboration.

Finally on February 25, Tara Cheyenne Friedenberg stages Body Parts, a solo piece written, choreographed and performed by this veteran artist in which she tries to perform her show but gets comically side-tracked by her own body issues. Part standup comedy, part Greek tragedy, part performance art, part contemporary dance, this show is the result of the ever-changing nature of creating art during a global pandemic and our inability to talk about our bodies.

Salt Spring Film Festival screens the international awardwinning The Blue Caftkan and the home town hit The Grizzlie Truth about the disappearance of Vancouver’s NBA team 20 years ago. In the lobby all month, Julianna Slomka exhibits What Moves Me -- archival and new works collection ranging from paintings and drawings to photography.

Box Office – Tuesday-Friday 10am-2pm | 250.537.2102

Online Sales – tickets.artspring.ca

THE FISHBOWL • FEBRUARY 2023 • PAGE 4
Live on Stage in February 2023 Jasmine Jazz, February 3 Ian Parker, February 10 Andrew Allen, February 11 Caroline Shaw & Vanessa Goodman, February 16 Tara Cheyenne Perfomance, February 25 artspring.ca
photo credit dana szyndrowski

The Book Eaters

Mishka’s Book Reviews

It’s hard to explain just how delightful it is to discover a new concept in the world of Fantasy writing. “The Book Eaters” is perhaps doubly pleasurable to read as it is not only clever in style but also in substance, as all lovers of books love books that are centred on well, books. Each chapter begins with an appropriate quotation, and there are too many stories and authors referenced for one to keep track of them all. However, all that passion for books comes with a caveat. These books are not a part of the story because they are being read…these books are being eaten.

Reclusive and secretive, book eaters keep to themselves, and have for generations. They don’t live among humans, but they do have some idea of what it is to be human because they absorb more than just nutrients from book eating. Every book’s content is retained by the eater, and so you can learn about geography by eating a map, or how to tie knots by eating a sailing manual. A literal case of you are what you eat. Our central character, Devon, comes from one of the six book eater families. Turns out infertility is becoming a real issue for the eaters, and so even though there are carefully planned (read arranged) marriages between the different clans, there are still fewer book eater babies being born. Book eater girl children are rare and highly treasured, but only because they are a commodity to be traded. Their destiny is being married off to produce children that they are not allowed to raise themselves as they will need to marry into yet another clan and repeat the cycle. Devon isn’t content with that being her fate, and even as a child she would sneak forbidden books, stories that were a far cry from the sweet fairy tales girls are traditionally fed. Wouldn’t want them getting any ideas! This book is full of action and suspense (I haven’t even touched on the knights and dragons), but it is also a meditation on motherhood, obligation, and individuality. When Devon is repressed by the traditions of her society, you feel it quite keenly. As fun as the book eating is (and it really is fun), the message at this novel’s core is a rather serious one. Oppression foments revolution and Devon won’t go down without a fight.

Art on the Hall 2023

Deadline for Submissions: Tuesday, February 28, 2023

Honorarium: $500

Over the past two years, eight artists have exhibited their work on the out walls of Mahon Hall as part of the Art on the Hall project. These mini murals bring attention to the cultural purpose of the hall and add a little bit more life and colour to Ganges Village.

Salt Spring Arts is once again inviting proposals from Southern Gulf Island residents (Salt Spring Island, Galiano, Mayne, Saturna, Pender Islands) for our 2023 Art on the Hall Mini-Murals.

As part of our 16th Annual Spring Art Show, April 14 – 30, we are seeking submissions from visual artists interested in painting a vertical 4x8 ft mural on the theme of Archipelago: Contemporary Art of the Salish Sea.

During the spring and summer months, Mahon Hall – home of Salt Spring Arts – welcomes as many as 14,000 visitors. Selected murals will be displayed on the outside of the historic building from April 2023 to April 2024.

Interested artists must complete an online form including a short biography, statement of intent for the mural, 3-5 samples of recent artworks, and a detailed plan or sketch of the proposed mural including a description of materials and/or colours.

For more information:

https://saltspringarts.com/calls/art-on-the-hall-2023/

THE FISHBOWL • FEBRUARY 2023 • PAGE 5
& FIELKOV
Family Day Event
1 PM Performance 2 PM Mahon Hall CRAFTS | SNACKS | FACE PAINTING
KIROUAC
BC
Monday FEB 20 Doors

The Salt Spring National Art Prize 2023/24

The Salt Spring National Art Prize (SSNAP) was founded on Salt Spring Island in 2015. Its goal is to “recognize, showcase, and advance the accomplishments of Canadian visual artists.”

SSNAP is held every two years. An independent jury of Canadian arts professionals is convened to judge entries and approximately 50 works are chosen to be displayed at the Finalists Exhibition held at Mahon Hall. The exhibition runs September 22 to October 22 this year.

There are $50,000 in awards for SSNAP 2023/24, with a top prize of $20,000, donated by long-time Salt Spring Island resident Joan McConnell. The SSNAP Society is a charitable organization and relies on donations and sponsorship to produce SSNAP.

SSNAP has proven to be a highly popular event. There were over 2,000 submissions from across Canada, including from many local artists, in 2021.

Southern Gulf Islands artists have been well represented in SSNAP. Connie Kuhns, a Salt Spring Island photographer, received the Salt Spring Artist Award in 2021 for her photograph “Canadian Farmhouse.”

“When I deposited my winning cheque—my reward for Outstanding Work by a Salt Spring Artist—the teller drew a 1st place ribbon on my receipt,” Kuhns recalls. “SSNAP is unlike other competitions.”

In 2017, SSNAP added a special exhibition for Southern Gulf Islands residents: The Parallel Art Show. Southern Gulf Islands artists who submit to SSNAP are automatically entered into the Parallel Art Show. Parallel Art Show Finalists will be shown at ArtSpring this year. Winners will share $7,500 in awards.

SSNAP accepts two-dimensional and three-dimensional works of visual art. Entrants must be Canadian citizens or permanent residents at least 18 years of age. The entry fee is $30. Nominations are not required.

Being volunteer-run, SSNAP is always welcoming to volunteers interested in helping with the exhibitions or other opportunities.

“It will be so exciting to see the art submitted for the fifth biennial national exhibition taking place here on Salt Spring Island. I am very proud of the over 200 artists from every province and territory in Canada that we have showcased since 2015,” says SSNAP Society Founding Director Ronald T. Crawford.

Submissions close midnight on May 31st, 2023.

The SSNAP website can be found at saltspringartprize.ca

Jen’ll Tell Ya Featuring Jen Redpath & Jessica Terezakis

Hey Salty,

Salt Spring can be a pretty sleepy place this time of year so why not spice things up with “Karezza” (pronounced Kah-ret-za), a sexual technique centred around intimacy, connection, and relaxation. Although it’s name comes from the Italian word for caress, its roots are said to originate from a Daoist practice called Dual Cultivation.

Unlike many other forms of sex, Karezza isn’t necessarily oriented around orgasms. Which is quite radical if you ask us! So much of what we see and hear in the media and in pornography is all about working towards the big “O”. This can come with a lot of pressure with some folks feeling bad if they orgasm too quickly and others if they don’t. Orgasm or ejaculation focused sex can also be really hard on people who have trouble keeping an erection or for those who have trouble orgasming. As you know, pressure during sex can be the biggest buzz kill.

Karezza is focused on the savouring of physical and intimate touch, clear communication, and building slow deep energetic connections. Some folks find it deeply nourishing and others super energizing. Intimacy, connection, and safe physical touch can also help release Oxytocin, an amazing neurochemical also known as the “love hormone”. Oxytocin is the feel good hormone associated with social connection, intimacy, and interpersonal touch.

So how do you “do” Karezza? As its name suggests, Karezza is about physical connection like caressing, but it can also mean different things for different people.

Here are some general tips that we found:

• Set the tone. Karezza is about unity and intimacy. Make sure that your space feels safe, comfortable, cozy, or whatever it is that makes you and your partner(s) feel appreciated, valued, and connected.

• Slow down and communicate well. Relaxation and readiness are key.

• It’s not for everyone and that’s okay! The good news is that there are so many types of intimacy and sexual expression to explore.

If you have a topic you would like us to cover please send your ideas, curiosity, or questions to opt.ssi@gmail.com

Some resources we like:

Scarleteen : www.scarleteen.com

Options for Sexual Health: www.optionsforsexualhealth.org

Or check out the Sex Sense Line for a private consultation with a sexual health nurse: 1-800-739-7367

Options is open every Tuesday from 4:30-6:30 and are by appointment only. You can reach us at (250) 537-8786

THE FISHBOWL • FEBRUARY 2023 • PAGE 6
Stay Sexy Salty!

February Offerings

Please register at staroftheseassi@gmail.com

All our programmes are held at St. Mary’s Church, 2600 Fulford-Ganges Road (except when offered on Zoom).  Donations for participation in these events are welcome.

Visit website www.staroftheseassi.ca

Sunday, February 5

Mandala workshop: Symmetry and Balance

2:00 pm - 4:30 pm online on ZOOM

With Kathleen Kinasewich of Soul Circle Mandalas

Cost $20.00. Please pre-pay and pre-register, so you can receive the Zoom link, at staroftheseassi.ca.

Tuesday, February 14

Spiritual Conversation: Death Matters

7:00 pm - 8:30 pm at St. Mary’s Church

‘Spiritual Conversations’ recur on the 2nd Tuesday evening of each month, facilitated by Brian Day and Heather Martin.

Wednesday, February 15

A Quiet Morning with Richard Stetson

9:30 am – 12:00 pm at St. Mary’s Church

‘Quiet Mornings’ led by Richard Stetson, recur monthly on Wednesday mornings.

Monday, February 20

Kirtan Gospel with Marilyn Walker and friends

7:00 pm – 8:30 pm at St. Mary’s Church

Kirtan Gospel with Marilyn Walker and friends recur on the 3rd Monday evening of each month.

Tuesday, February 21

Poetry as an Invitation

7:00 pm - 8:30 pm online on ZOOM

There is no charge to attend, however your donation towards the upkeep of this historic, sacred site will be gratefully accepted. Details for donations are on the website.

Please register in advance, so you can receive the Zoom link. Sacred Poetry recurs on the 3rd Tuesday evening of each month.

Sunday, February 26

Non-Verbal Communication: a workshop to re-connect with ourselves and others led by Marcia Burton

10:00 am – 1:00 pm at St. Mary’s Church

Cost: $25

Sunday, February 26

An Evening of Kirtan with Ananda

7:00 pm - 8:30 pm at St. Mary’s Church

Listen here https://youtu.be/e_tmbBgXpn0 for a sampling of Ananda’s music.

An Evening of Kirtan with Ananda recurs on the last Sunday evening of every other month.

Bring indoor footwear as shoes are removed at the door, and bring your own water bottle and/or hot drink.

Did you know that in British Columbia PAP tests are recommended every 3 years? Any person age 25 to 69 with a uterus and cervix should follow this screening guideline.

It is important to do a PAP test to screen for cervical cancer, which is a slow growing and very treatable form of cancer IF found early. If cervical cancer is not found until it is very progressed it can be a severe to life threatening condition.

However, PAP tests can be a sensitive and uncomfortable experience. Some folks have had painful and even traumatizing experiences with this exam, have a history of sexual trauma, feel uncomfortable with their health care provider, or have other reasons they feel hesitant or even unsafe having a PAP. I specialize in offering PAP exams that are comfortable, trauma-informed, and informative.

This looks like:

• At Madrona we offer a safe and non-judgemental environment

• Before the PAP I talk about what the exam involves and make sure you are clearly informed about and consenting to the process

• The appointment is 30 minutes to make sure we can take our time

• I use real sheets (not table paper!) and a heating pad and blanket to keep you warm throughout

• I verbalize every step of the way so that you know exactly what is happening at every moment, even when you can’t see what is happening

• I ensure the procedure itself is as painless as possible

• I offer you a mirror if you would like to see your own cervix!

• I also include a breast exam to screen for breast cancer

The PAP exam is also an opportunity to ask any questions you have about sex hormones and reproductive health.

Note that PAP exams are recommended for homosexual women and for trans men who have cervixes (that PAPs don’t apply to these folks is a common misconception!).

Full disclosure - on Salt Spring PAP exams are available through your GP, via the OPT clinic, as well as with me and the other naturopathic doctors at our clinic, Madrona Integrative Health. We are one of multiple options, and, at Madrona we specifically are offering extra care to ensure that you can have a safe and comfortable experience with the PAP exam. Through a GP or OPT you can have a PAP exam covered by MSP (at no cost to you!), so doing a PAP at Madrona is not right or necessary for everyone. Wherever you go, please make sure you get your PAP done every three years. If you think you would like to have a PAP done through at Madrona, you can give us a call at 250-931-1334 to book.

THE FISHBOWL • FEBRUARY 2023 • PAGE 7 Cervical Health Is Health Too drhannahwebb.com | 250-931-1334 Health with

Festival Passes

For the first time since before the pandemic, the Salt Spring Film Festival is returning to Gulf Islands Secondary School! Please join us from March 3 to 5 for three days of unforgettable films.

This year we’ll be screening 40 documentaries from around the world – many of them awardwinning – focusing on social justice, Indigenous resurgence, LGBTQ+ resilience, international politics, environmental challenges, visual arts, modern dance and music documentaries, as well as some very local short films about the wonders of the Salish Sea.

A number of visiting filmmakers will be attending to introduce their films and participate in moderated Q&A sessions after their screenings.

Our ever-popular Social Justice Bazaar will run all weekend, with numerous local nonprofits and community agencies represented.

Special thanks to our Presenting Sponsor:

Opening Gala: March 3 at 7:00 pm STILL WORKING 9 TO 5

pm at GISS 5

at next month’s Salt Spring Film Festival will be the awardwinning documentary STILL WORKING 9 TO 5, featuring Jane Fonda, Lily Tomlin and stage – revisiting their classic how little has changed for women’s in four decades.

The Opening Gala film winning documentary Dolly Parton – three legendary icons of stage & screen comedy 9 TO 5 to evaluate how much and equality in the workplace over the past four decades.

When the highest-grossing comedy of it defied the long-held assumption successful film, and it conveyed a very inequalities and sexual harassment

grossing of the year exploded onto movie screens in 1980, that women couldn’t headline a financially serious message about how the indignities, and facing working women were no laughing matter.

Rita Moreno, Allison Janey and Arianna crowd-pleaser won the Choice Nashville Film Festival and was named Best Domestic Feature the jury Festival & Film Fund.

Featuring interviews with Dabney Coleman, Rit Huffington, this empowering and unapologetically feminist Audience Choice Award at the Nashville Feature by the jury of the American Documentary Film Festival

And don’t miss our “Best of the Fests” screenings

Wednesday, February 1 at 7:30 pm THE BLUE CAFTAN

at ArtSpring: $13

are primarily a pass-based festival. Other than the Opening Night Gala, tickets films.

Full Festival Pass (includes Gala) ... $50 Opening Gala Ticket (Friday only) $15

Two-Day Pass (Sat & Sun only) ...... $40 One-Day Pass (either day) ............ $25 Half-Day Pass (afternoons only) .... $15

Passes are available in advance through the ArtSpring Box Office and at the door GISS. All other passes are available door. Subsidized passes are by request.

We are O aren’t sold for individual Full Festival through the door at GISS. only at the door available by request.

For more information schedule or visit

more information and the full screening schedule, please pick up a Program Guide www.saltspringfilmfestival.com

And our the at ArtSpring!

Wednesday, February 8 THE GRIZZLIE TRUTH at ArtSpring: $13 (students:

at 7:30 pm GRIZZLIE : $8)

A middle-aged master tailor and his devoted wife find their relationship turned upside down by the arrival of a handsome new apprentice in this richly erotic and deeply moving Moroccan film, which has won multiple awards around the world, including Audience Awards at the Vancouver & Athens International Film Festivals, and which has been shortlisted for the Oscar for Best International Feature Film.

aged and devoted relationship of handsome deeply Moroccan film, multiple around Awards at & Festivals, and the Oscar Best

You don’t have to be a basketball fan to enjoy this wildly entertaining investigation into why the Vancouver Grizzlies left Canada over 20 years ago. To die-hard fans, the team’s abrupt move to Memphis in 2001 is much more than a sore spot – it’s an unsolved mystery and a possible criminal conspiracy.

run traditional caftan f In keep the demands of their they hire Youssef, a in

from his perfectionist

Halim & Mina run a traditional caftan store in one of Morocco’s oldest medinas. In order to keep up with the demands of their customers, they hire Youssef, a talented young man who shows an utmost dedication in learning the art of embroidery and tailoring from his perfectionist employer.

What begins as a superfan’s dogged determination to uncover the reasons behind her ill-fated hometown team’s puzzling disappearance becomes a love letter to the worst professional sports franchise in history and an exploration of the deep roots of fandom. The Grizzlies were more than just an NBA team –they taught an entire community to dream big and to persevere against the odds.

Slowly Mina realizes how much her husband is affected by the presence of the young man, and she begins to suspect that their relationship may involve more than the sharing of traditional craftsmanship. What lies ahead in this triangle of adoration will break all three of th unexpected ways.

es husband of man, and begins that may sharing traditional craftsmanship. in adoration will break all of them open in

A huge hit at the Vancouver International Film Festival, this compelling true crime story seamlessly blends comedy with the filmmaker’s quixotic quest for truth and redemption, exploring the powerful connection fans have with their hometown teams, win or lose.

Co-presented by DAISSI With filmmaker Kat Jayme in attendance.
THE FISHBOWL • FEBRUARY 2023 • PAGE 9

the Sweet Spot

Committing to Being a Guardian of Connection

For the first six years of their marriage, the celebrated spiritual teachers Adyashanti and Mukti lived in a 400 square-foot cottage. Although they were extraordinarily compatible on most major issues (e.g. money, commitment, spirituality) differences nevertheless arose. Adya didn’t need their cabin to be as tidy as Mukti did, so she did most of the cleaning and organizing. Adya liked to crack jokes while they were working whereas Mukti needed silence to focus. Most importantly, Adya was ambivalent about having a child while Mukti very much wanted to start a family.

How has this impressive couple navigated their divergent needs over the course of their 30-year marriage?

One powerful question has been especially helpful: who has the greater need?

And yet, as they recount in The One of Us, what has allowed them to both ask and answer this question honestly over the decades has been something far more powerful: their mutual commitment to being “guardians” of their shared connection even in the midst of disagreement.

Which means what exactly?

First, it means noticing what you sense and feel when you’re connected with your partner in that very direct, immediate, non-verbal way that runs like an underground river beneath all the other forms of connection (e.g. shared interests, banter, sex, etc.). Maybe you notice that your heart relaxes or your eyes soften. Or maybe your breath lengthens or you feel a tingling energy running through your body. Or there’s a sensation of spaciousness or expansiveness, like a meadow has suddenly opened up inside you. Whatever it is, you notice it, stay with it, soak in it, savor it.

Then, above all, you commit to being a guardian of this bond, a steward of this connectedness. You resolve to relate in such a way that this “third body,” as Robert Bly calls it, sustains as little harm as possible. Knowing that this resolution is as ludicrous as a bodhisattva vow, knowing that it flies in the face of research that shows that being disconnected in 70 percent of the interactions in our primary love relationships is not only typical but healthy; knowing all of this, you nevertheless commit to shepherding, treasuring, safeguarding this connection.

Third, having made this commitment, you begin to notice when you say or do things that neglect or strain or break it. Maybe you notice a little plunging sensation in your chest after saying something that was too self-centred or agenda-driven. Maybe you notice the corners of your partner’s eyes tighten when your voice sharpens. Or you see how, when you get speedy, your partner goes from being a you to an it, an object, a thing.

Fourth, with compassion, you follow the bread-crumbs backwards to the parts of you – the old conditioned thoughts and feelings and sensations – that prompt you to say and do the things that weaken or cut your connection. And you become intimate enough with these aspects of yourself that they grant you the space to see what you need to say and do, how you need to say and do it and, most importantly, what it feels like to be a good caretaker of that connection.

It was in this spirit, which is very similar to key aspects of the empirically-validated approaches pioneered by Sue Johnson and John Gottman, that Adya and Mukti approached their conversations about starting a family. In one particularly vulnerable discussion, Mukti made it clear just how deeply important it was to her to have a child, and Adya understood that she had the greater need. So they started trying. And after several years, they realized it wasn’t going to happen. But, in the process, they both conceived and nurtured their commitment to being guardians of connection, a commitment they have continued to carry over into an ever-expanding circle of relationships with friends and family, students and strangers, animals and plants.

Seth is a Registered Clinical Counsellor, Marital and Family Therapist and Board Certified Life Coach. He works with individuals and couples in private practice. You can reach him at sethshugar@me.com or book a session at www.sethshugar.com

THE FISHBOWL • FEBRUARY 2023 • PAGE 10

Julianna Slomka

What Moves Me this February in

the ArtSpring Lobby

I was born in Thunder Bay, Ontario. My parents were WWll refugees, my mother from Mariupol, Ukraine, my father from Radom, Poland. They had two of my older sisters in a refugee camp where they lived for five years before immigrating to Canada. Life, was not easy.

I had difficulty learning in school, my pencils only wanted to draw horses, not do schoolwork. I was called slow, lazy, a daydreamer. After dropping out at sixteen, moving out on my own at seventeen, I put my pencils away. As life’s challenges came and went, so did making art. Struggling to maneuver my way through life without an education was very difficult.

I moved to BC in 2005. I didn’t know anyone but looked forward to starting a new life without the bitter cold of Northwestern Ontario winters. Since then, I’ve again picked up my pencil and brushes as well as many other artforms such as Argentine tango, stand-up comedy, live theatre both backstage doing make-up or performing on stage, and photography.

I’ve now retired from over 30 years of driving a school bus, (and let me tell you, that is an artform in itself), however, I am now looking forward to art work taking the drivers seat from now on.

My inspiration comes to me in diff erent ways. Events, emotions, music can bring on a feeling, a story. I work in a number of diff erent mediums depending on each piece. In this exhibit I have both archival and new works. Paintings, drawings in graphite, white pencil, charcoal, or pastel, and photography, all portraying a variety of subjects that interest me, and I hope moves the viewer.

“Life is full of constant adjustments, with laughs in between”

CALL FOR ARTISTS

Juried exhibition of Canadian contemporary visual arts

$50,000 in awards • $20,000 top prize

• Juried by eminent arts professionals

• Open to all Canadian citizens and permanent residents over the age of 18

• Nominations not required

• $30 entry fee

• Submissions close May 31, 2023

Scopes

Brought to you by our own in-house astrologer who now goes by her numerologically correct name of “Ya Righta”

^ Aries

When your lover starts wearing more clothes to bed than to work, it's a good guess that your happiness is close to being over.

_ Taurus

Chin up, best foot forward, that’s all we’ve got…

` Gemini

You do have romance in your heart but it needs to be released. Relax all your muscles, perhaps excluding any sphincters, and then tense them all again. Then relax again. Now go get 'em!

a Cancer

One of the problems with getting your own way with love is that sometimes you have to be a bit evil. Thing is - you're a natural, that's all.

b Leo

Only love can break your heart… but trans-fatty acids will also have a damn good try.

c Virgo

True Love is only ever one step away. But then so is it's ever present bosom-buddies, failure and humiliation.

d Libra

Significant other, or S.O., is a fairly disturbing way to refer to a loved one. Why not call them "my buddy" or "unstranger"?

e Scorpio

Life can be as romantic as you wish to make it.

f Sagittarius

A horoscope will affect your decisions today as love will strike your heart and make you ask someone out, someone you would never previously have had the heart do ask out.

g Capricorn

You may find love in unexpected places, however, we urge you to think carefully about the places you do go!

h Aquarius

Romance is in the air today, just over on Galiano. If you don't happen to be Galiano, then chances are you're going to strike out again throughout this week.

i Pisces

Heaven knows what kinds of things are going to happen you today. It's a hard life being an astrologer and trying to see exactly what's going to happen to YOU. Specifically You. Sorry.

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