FISHBOWL MAGAZINE DECEMBER 2022

As an adult, the belief in Santa became extra special after my families first introduction to Santa Bob one holiday season at the Salt Spring Fire Department Christmas party. He took a special shine to my kids, all the kids, he remembered special things about pets, sports and family. It wasn’t for a few years that I realized this jolly, darling man remembered nearly everything about all our island kids. I am sure most of you reading this have a similar story. Santa has always had a way of connecting with our children, listening, remembering and bringing forth the magic of Christmas. I will forever be grateful for the memories even I have made over the years interacting with our most special, local Santa! Over the years our children, our elders and even our pets have all experienced the magic of our dear Santa. He embraces joy, laughter and light, but also carries the burden of lost love, broken hearts and loss of pets and the like. His roll is not for the faint of heart but he cherishes it, I guarantee you that!

Who was the first Claus?

The history of Santa Claus crosses the continents. Nearly every culture tells a tail of a generous but modest man in a red cloak or suit who gives children and families presents. His universal appeal is reflected in his many names, Chris Kringle, Father Christmas, Pere Noel and, of course, always there in the background is St Nicholas (Sinterklaas).

We’ve unpacked this a few times; however, it never seems to amaze us, the story or the myth St Nicholas - The First Claus?

Where was the first Santa Claus in history?

Since Christmas is now associated with Christ and Christianity the real history is often lost or forgotten. The ancestor of all those worldly, jolly men bearing sack-fulls of presents was St Nicholas, who was probably born in Myra in Turkey and died in 347 AD.

The significance of the story of St Nicholas is that it establishes a named figure as the gift giver. Admired for his kindness, St. Nicholas

became the subject of many legends. It is said that he gave away all of his inherited wealth and traveled the countryside helping the poor and sick. One of the best-known St. Nicholas stories is the time he saved three poor sisters from being sold into slavery or prostitution by their father by providing them with a dowry so that they could be married. It is said he threw gold coins down the chimney and they landed in the girls stockings that were drying by the fire. He died on the 6th of December, which presents us with a feast day at the start of the winter festival season.

From here it appears the Dutch are credited with transporting the legend of St. Nicholas to New Amsterdam (now New York City), along with the custom of giving gifts and sweets to children on his feast day, December 6. From here western culture have monetized and commercialized the St. Nick out of Christmas.

FISHBOWL is brought to you by publisher Genevieve Price

Columnists: Seth Shugar, Mishka Campbell, Jen Redpath, Jessica Terezakis & nora bouz. Green Printing & Layout: Imagine That Graphics.ca

Ad Sales: Deadlines are the 10th of the month previous to book ad space & submit content. Calendar events can be submitted up until the 15th. For rates & information call Genevieve today at 250.538.8427 or email thesaltyfishbowl@hotmail.com

Salt Spring Island’s #1 Source for Arts, Entertainment & Culture. Check out our Facebook page!

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As in our previous years, our Santa is primarily offering digital experiences. Please reach out via email or social media for a magical and personalized experience for your littles and even your bigs. Santabob on instagram | santabob@shaw.ca for special personal requests Public zooms on Facebook and Instagram | Private videos available Stop by and share your Christmas wishes!

Price is Right

PRODUCT REVIEWS

by: Genevieve Price

Marcelle

Luminous Foundation

Marcelle is one of my favorite makeup brands, even the formula’s seem to maintain superior quality while only costing $3-$5 more than conventional brands.

If you like a heavy face all day, this is not the product for you. However, if you like light coverage and a natural glow then we have a win here.

I like to use a triangle sponge or thick brush to apply all over. If you have trouble spots, and are out all day I’d recommend a concealer to reduce redness and/or dark circles for longer.

The one funny thing to note is it boasts this product as “Matte” but “Luminous” formula and somehow I agree, as you apply it is has a matte finish but then the sparkles appear, to my delight. Should you not be as pleased as I to suddenly sparkle, gently, then I suggest you dull the luminous with a light powder over top.

The formula is oil free, hydrating and hypoallergenic which I will attest to with this brand, as always.

Unique, local, beautiful gifts for the holidays

Winter

Island shoppers can be proud to “shop local” at Artcraft Winter this holiday season. The annual show presented by Salt Spring Arts at Mahon Hall is open every day through to Dec. 22, showcasing high quality arts and crafts by up to 100 local creators from Salt Spring and the Gulf Islands.

The Salt Spring Film Festival presents BUFFY SAINTE-MARIE: CARRY IT ON, a new documentary about the 81-yearold Canadian music legend.

Named “Best New Artist” the year the Beatles came to America, Buffy Sainte-Marie defied the odds by flourishing despite a childhood of dislocation and abuse. This inspiring look at her groundbreaking career was met with wide acclaim when it premiered at the recent Toronto International Film Festival.

Directed by Madison Thomas, this intimate retrospective of Buffy’s personal journey includes rare archival material and interviews with Joni Mitchell, Alanis Obomsawin and Robbie Robertson.

Blacklisted by both the Johnson and Nixon Administrations, Buffy spoke truth to power while changing perceptions of Indigenous people in music, film and television. Her natural musical ability protected her spirit and propelled her from her birthplace on a Saskatchewan reserve to international concert halls and the Oscars.

“Sometimes,” says Buffy, “you have to carry the medicine a while before people are ready for it.”

Don’t miss this must-see documentary at ArtSpring at 7:30 pm on Wednesday, December 7.

Tickets are available online via www.saltspringfilmfestival.com, or at the ArtSpring Box Office from 10 am to 2 pm, Tuesday through Friday (either in person or by phone at 250-537-2102).

Visitors will find the historic hall decked inside and out with festive lights and greenery, with a special Christmas installation featured on the stage this year. The beautiful and unique handcrafted pieces for sale — all with their special story to tell –range from earthy pottery and woodwork to contemporary jewelry, and from fine textiles and cozy knits to apothecary products made from wildcrafted and locally grown botanicals. With the addition of original paintings, sculpture and photography, plus a wide range of cards and books by local authors, there is a special gift for everyone.

The show is on from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. daily. Everyone is welcome to come in for some warm apple cider and specials during the Love-Local Winter-Wander Shopping Night on Friday, Dec. 2 –open until 8 p.m.

Sponsored by

Live on stage in December

John Reischman Sun Dec 4

The Met Opera: Live in HD Sat Dec10

Glowtini Contest

Nov 25th to Dec 9th

Sponsored by Upper Ganges Liquor.

Over a two week period, participating restaurants will be concocting their best festive “Glowtini” Cocktails for you to enjoy, so get out there and support your favorite restaurant or visit a new one! The only requirement is that the establishment uses a local-salt spring island ingredient.

When you’ve found your favorite, head back to christmasonsaltspring.com and VOTE online for your favorite Glowtini. Prize for winning bartender AND for participants. Must be 19 to participate. Please enjoy responsibly.

Love-Local Winter-Wander

Dec 2nd

Winter-Wander Shopping Night! Sponsored by Country Grocer. Get your Christmas Shopping done all in one night! Stores will be staying open late for your shopping convenience.

Look for a “Shopping Passport” in the Nov 23rd & 30th edition of the Driftwood Newspaper for a contest to win local prizes from Country Grocer and local businesses.

Bring your completed Shopping Passport to the Visitor Information Center on December 2nd before 10:00PM to get entered to win some awesome prizes!

If you drink wine, drink local wine

If you eat pie, eat local pie

If you use soap, use local soap

If you eat chocolate, eat local chocolate

If you drink coffee, drink it from a locally made mug

If you love stylish eyewear, buy from a small business

If you like fashion, buy from a local storefront

If you like giving gifts, build beautiful baskets full of unique locally sourced items

If you’re Santa, fill your stockings with local

From the Editor: Genevieve Price

live on stage in December

The holiday season promises to sparkle at ArtSpring this month, with one major ArtSpring Presents performance, a Met Opera Live world premiere, and a busy house of local and regional choirs and concerts to capture the festive spirit.

Grammy-winning musician John Reischman brings his Old Master’s sense of tone, taste and musicality, along with his global reputation as one of the finest mandolinists of his era, to fans of folk, bluegrass, and old -time swing on Sunday December 4th, at 7:30 pm.

Jen’ll Tell Ya

Featuring

Jen Redpath & Jessica Terezakis

Also known as a composer, bandleader, and musical educator, Reischman and his Jaybirds continue to explore the frontiers of this exciting genre of music in fresh ways. Since emerging from the vibrant “new acoustic” bluegrass scene of the Bay Area on the 1980s, he is now reaching new generations with his signature style.

A recent addition to ArtSpring’s Met Opera Live series is the world premiere of the contemporary production of The Hours, adapted from Michael Cunningham’s Pulitzer-prize winning novel of the same name. Inspired by Virginia Woolf’s Mrs. Dalloway and the 2002 Oscar-winning film starring Meryl Streep, Julianne Moore, and Nicole Kidman, the story interweaves three women from different eras who each grapple with their inner demons and roles in society.

Renée Fleming makes her radiant return, and star power rounds out the cast with Kelli O’Hara and mezzo-soprano Joyce DiDonato joining her as the opera’s trio of heroines. Spend a riveting Saturday at The Met on December 10th from 10am-1pm at ArtSpring.

Vetta, Viva Chorale!, the Salt Spring Film Festival’s special screening of Buffy Sainte-Marie, and Bandamonium and The Swing Shift Band round out our popular community presentations.

Box Office - Tuesday-Friday 10am-2pm | 250.537.2102

tickets@artspring.ca | Online Sales – tickets.artspring.ca

"The Talk"

Many of us remember when our parents had “The Talk” and for a lot of us it was probably pretty awkward! The good news is that it doesn’t have to be that unbearably uncomfortable conversation about the birds and bees. Research shows that parents who have open, honest, and age-appropriate conversations about sexual health, have kids that grow up into adults that take fewer risks with their sexual health and have healthier relationships overall.

Age appropriate means not talking to your kids about everything all at once. It is important to explain things in a way that is developmentally appropriate. For example, we can introduce the concept of consent by giving toddlers choice, “would you like to give your uncle a high five or a hug?” This is a building block that can be applied to friendships, family relationships, and eventually intimate or romantic ‘ships’. This type of practice develops skills for healthy relationships.

Research shows that parents and caregivers are children’s first teachers about bodies. How we relate to our body, talk about other bodies, and demonstrate consent are all more impactful than a one-time ”Talk”. Building a foundation of trust, openness, and honesty will lay the groundwork for organic conversations.

As adults we often think we need to have all the answers but sometimes we don’t know or we have our own baggage to sort through, it is totally appropriate to say “hmmm I don’t know the answer but I’ll get back to you later”. Demonstrating pauses, or taking a moment (or a day or two!) to think about how we really feel about something, gives your child the permission to do the same, we don’t have to have all the answers - what a relief!

Learning about sexuality and how our bodies work is learning how to be human. Unfortunately, we live in a world with lots of misinformation, particularly around sex. If we aren’t talking to kids about sexual health, then they are going to get that information from somewhere else and it might not be information that is accurate, age-appropriate, or that reflects your family’s values. If you are looking for some books to get you started come check out our new free Sexual Health Library open on Tuesdays from 4:30 to 6:30 pm.

One of our favorite authors is Cory Silverberg who has authored a plethora of books from toddlerhood up to youth. The books offer a diverse range of bodies, abilities, and colours as well as making it fun and interactive with graphic comic book styles and information that is easy to digest. The Salt Spring Public Library offers many of his titles and so do we at the free Sexual Health Library at Options for Sexual Health!

photo credit ava creative

Roundup Best Books of 2022

Bandemonium Concert

Band and Swing Shift with guest artists Yael Wand and Brandon Bronson

I’m continuing my December tradition of sharing my favourite and not yet reviewed books of the year:

Mishka’s Book Reviews

“Crossroads” by Jonathan Franzen was a surprisingly great read. He’s in top form with this one, imbuing it with his unique brand of family dysfunction. This is a tightly woven narrative that is the first in a trilogy.

“Booth” by Karen Joy Fowler is just gorgeous. Through the author’s vivid descriptions I was transported to the mid-1800s. This is the story of a family first and foremost, a family who just happened to produce an infamous son.

“Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow” by Gabrielle Zevin is about love and friendship. This book touches on pop culture, literature, video games and art, but it isn’t just for readers who get the references…it’s for anyone who wants to examine a relationship held up to the light. Bear witness to the glory and the flaws.

“Small Things Like These” by Claire Keegan was shortlisted for the Booker. Exquisite and precise, every single word in this short book is thoughtfully placed. This is the story of a family man in 1986, in a small Irish town, uncovering what happens in the homes for unwed mothers and the crisis of conscience he endures. Literal perfection.

“The Sleeping Car Porter” by Suzette Mayr won the 2022 Giller Prize. This story of a queer Black porter working on a train crossing Canada in 1929, is so well written that his exhaustion is palpable, his frustrations relatable, his desire for more understandable, and his fear of discovery excruciating. It’s a relief when this book ends full of hopeful possibilities.

“Empire of Pain: The Secret History of the Sackler Dynasty” by Patrick Radden Keefe was the first book I finished in 2022, and is a standout non-fiction read. Well researched and meticulously written, this book tells you everything you ever wanted to know about how the opioid crisis came to be.

“Go Ahead in the Rain: Notes to a Tribe Called Quest”, “A Little Devil in America: Notes in Praise of Black Performance”, and “They Can’t Kill Us Until They Kill Us” are all by Hanif Abdurraqib, an author I discovered late last year, and whose work I have been steadily consuming ever since. A genius essayist, his way with words is unparalleled. I’m certain I’ll be reading and rereading his books for the rest of my life.

Saturday Dec 3rd,

7:30, Artspring

Tickets: adults $22, students $5

Bandemonium Concert Band and Swing Shift Big Band combine forces to present “Let’s Try This Again”, Saturday, Dec 3rd, 7:30 at Artspring. After two years of concert cancelations, the bands are thrilled to once again rehearse regularly in their new home, a dedicated community music room in the CRD’s centre at SIMS, and even more thrilled to present a back-to-normal indoor concert. A very eclectic program, sprinkled with a few seasonal favourites, includes music by Leroy Anderson, Gustav Holst, Benny Goodman, Andre Jutras, Sammy Nestico, Antonio Carlos Jobim, Duke Ellington and more. Guest artists include Yael Wand singing two big band classics, and Brandon Bronson performing a xylophone feature. Tickets for the event, available at Artspring, are $22 for adults and $5 for students.

Bandemonium’s and Swing Shift’s current music directors, Wendy and Derrick Milton, are the cofounder’s of the Bandemonium Music Society. The society’s two bands have been providing an opportunity for community music making for almost 30 years. New members are always welcome. This concert will be Wendy’s last performance as music director. A new music director will be announced in the new year.

9th Annual Festival

of Trees

Dec 1 through January 2nd

Salt Springers are asked to come and choose their favourite tree and place a donation for the Food Bank under it. Money donations for Copper Kettle are also appreciated. The trees are set up at Harbour House Thurs., Dec 1 and taken down Mon., Jan 2. The tree judged with the most donations is declared the winner and rewarded by having its picture in the Driftwood. The Festival is open 10am to 8pm daily Dec 1 to Jan 2.

with Mishka Campbell

December 6th Memorial Ceremony

In Memory Of

BANQUO - Gathered by the Fire

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 3, 2022 AT 2 PM – 4 PM

Come and celebrate the beauty of the season with music from centuries gone by.

Banquo Folk Ensemble has been performing in and around Victoria, BC since 1998. Their music is from the written and oral traditions covering more than eight centuries, performed with voice and our collection of instruments that includes recorders, hurdy gurdies, citterns, shawms, bagpipes, a battery of percussion instruments and more.

This concert will feature lots of hurdy gurdy, and four different kinds of bagpipes including Banquo’s new Swedish traditional pipes. Don’t miss the Instrument Petting Zoo following the concert.

December Offerings

Please register at staroftheseassi@gmail.com for all events EXCEPT the weekly Meditation.  Donations for participation in these events are welcome. Visit website www.staroftheseassi.ca.

Every Thursday Meditation Programme

6:30 to 8:00 pm at St. Mary’s Church, 2600 Fulford-Ganges Road Star of the Sea is offering a weekly meditation programme with Nicola Bishop, on Thursday evenings 6:30 to 8:00 pm, at St. Mary’s Church. Registration is not required. We all experience difficult mind states. Anxiety, stress, depression, trauma... and others. In this weekly group, Nicola shares ways to be with what’s difficult, to find that still point in our beings that can “hold” the choppy emotional energy. When we’re embodied and present with what is, very little is needed to be “done”. The body becomes a safe container for a gentle release. For some people trusting the body takes patience and care, as it did for her. It’s a process and not a destination. There isn’t anyone who doesn’t have this “still point”. It can’t be taken away, or improved upon. It just is. Whether we see ourselves as damaged, wounded, or broken, the stillness is always there, untouched, our true home.

Tuesday, December 6

SPIRITUAL CONVERSATION — Do Spiritual Practices Change Us?

7:00 pm to 8:30 pm — St. Mary’s Church

Star of the Sea hosts an evening discussing the role of spiritual practices in shaping our lives and our actions. How, if at all, do our spiritual practices change us? Do they make us kinder, more compassionate people? Do they give us motivation to make positive and concrete shifts in the world? How might our spiritual practices orient us toward mending or healing the world? Join us for an open and respectful discussion where participants share their own views and experiences and listen attentively to the words of others. Welcome to followers of all paths or none. The evening will be facilitated by Heather Martin and Brian Day.

Thursday, December 8

An Advent Quiet Morning

9:30 am to 12:00 noon — St. Mary’s Church

There is an ancient tradition in Christianity to set aside days or hours in particular seasons to listen and search for God, time for special devotion, meditation, and reflection.

This is a time set apart from our regular lives - in which we’re often busy, stretched too thin, unable to stop, surrounded by noise and chatter, constantly wrapped in sound, in the demands of the day, in plans for the future, and in all the things that make life work. And sometimes because of these demands, we don’t have a chance to pay enough attention to our spiritual, emotional, physical, and mental health. We need then to just push pause for a while. And a retreat or “Quiet Morning” is a chance to do just this. During the session on December 8th you might expect to engage with sacred texts or images, and reflect both individually and as a group in a period of guided sharing. And we’ll share in prayer, contemplation and silence of a unique quality, because we consent to enter that silence together. Led by Richard Stetson, retired rector of the SSI Anglican Parish and co-founder of Star of the Sea.

Geneviève Bergeron Hélène Colgan Nathalie Croteau

Barbara Daigneault

Anne-Marie Edward Maud Haviernick

Barbara Klucznik-Widjewicz

Maryse Laganière Maryse Leclair

Anne-Marie Lemay Sonia Pelletier

Michèle Richard Annie St-Arneault Annie Turcotte

Every Dec. 6, Canadians recognize the National Day of Remembrance and Action on Violence Against Women. Join in community to renew our strength, honour the lives of women, and hope for more inclusive and peaceful communities.

Tuesday, December 6th 2022, Centennial Park at 5pm   Hosted by IWAV and The Circle Education

the Sweet Spot with

Seth Shugar

Listening is the Rarest Form of Generosity

Guess what women’s top two complaints about their partners are?

According to John Gottman’s decades of research, they are “There’s not enough connection” and “They’re not there for me.”

What about men’s top two complaints?

“There’s too much conflict” and “Not enough sex.”

Too easy?

Guess what the solution is to all four of these complaints?

Attunement.

Yup, attunement: the desire and ability to tune into your partner’s inner world and express that understanding lovingly. Which basically means: 1) getting curious about their subjective experience; 2) asking open questions; 3) listening carefully; and 4) expressing compassion.

Research shows that attunement not only decreases conflict in relationships but increases trust, connection, intimacy and the frequency (and quality) of sex. No wonder so many counsellors echo daily what Gottman, the world’s preeminent relationship scientist, writes of attunement: “I tell all the couples I see in my practice that this is basically the skill set that they will need to create a relationship that really works for them.”

So let’s do a helicopter overview of this core skill by breaking it down into two phases – attuned listening and attuned speaking. And then let’s actually go a bit further and break down listening and speaking into two additional phases – preparing to listen and preparing to speak. Why? Because, in my opinion, most of the gold-standard relationship models miss one crucial insight: before we can genuinely tune into another, we have to tune into ourselves first; otherwise, we simply cannot remain attuned while the other is speaking.

So let’s start with preparing to listen during a conflict-discussion and then, in future columns, look at the other phases of attunement. Regardless of which phase we’re in, we can follow the exact same process using the exact same acronym: TUNE.

Tend: To prepare to listen, take a quick time-out and tend to what’s happening inside you. Are there any reactive parts of you that may want to step in to defend you or clarify the facts or just solve the damn problem? If so, choose the loudest one and check how you feel toward it. If it feels like this part of your personality is you, ask it to separate from you so you can tend to it. Bear in mind that to tend to something is to pay attention to it and care for it. So start by simply tending to your reactivity by echoing what you’re experiencing (e.g. “fear”, “tightness” etc.).

Understand: Now try to deepen your understanding of your reactivity by checking to see what you’re telling yourself will happen if you just listen. What’s your story? That you’re going to get blasted or steam-rolled? Validate these narratives by saying why they make sense, even if they’re not true. Then check what you’re sensing and feeling and echo this back too. Next, discover what your action-urge is (e.g. to interrupt, rage, bolt, shut-down) and then find out how this impulse is trying to help you. What is its hope or its positive intention? Is it trying to protect you from feeling like a door-matt? Or does it want to solve the problem so the other person won’t be in so much pain? Again, just validate this impulse by acknowledging what it’s trying to do for you. Finally, find out what this part of you is afraid would happen if it didn’t try to protect you in this way.

Nurture: Now orient toward the fear, ask it not to flood you, and find out where you picked it up prior to this relationship. Was it in a previous relationship? Early on in life? Witness whatever you see with compassion. Then find out what this fearful part of you needs. Does it, for instance, need to be reminded that the facts you’re about to hear will be way less important than the sense of safety and connection the other person will feel if you just listen to their subjective experience? Or reassured that problem-solving will work better if you wait until the speaker feels understood enough that they’ll want to solve the problem?

Express: Now that you’ve down-regulated your defensiveness and prepared to postpone both persuasion and problem-solving, express your readiness to listen from an open place. You might also remind yourself that decades of research have made this much clear: there is literally nothing on earth you can do that is more likely to build trust, reduce conflict, increase intimacy, promote safety, strengthen connection and improve your sex life.

Seth is a Registered Clinical Counsellor, Marital and Family Therapist and Board Certified Life Coach. He works with individuals and couples in private practice. You can reach him at sethshugar@me.com or book a session at www.sethshugar.com

Scopes

Brought to you by our own in-house astrologer who now goes by her numerologically correct name of “Ya Righta”

 Aries

Careful how you handle yourself today, others may be more tense than usual.

 Taurus

Any beer consumed tonight may come back to haunt you.

 Gemini

Your footsteps will seem louder today, however, this will not be a metaphorical sign of anything greater.

 Cancer

You yearn to be a farmer just so that you can be outstanding in your field.

 Leo

If you never liked sprouts before, try them again. Your tastes may have changed.

 Virgo

Any joke you have to seriously think about today is not worth ‘getting’. Just because people laugh at you doesn’t make you a comedian.

 Libra

Watch out for overweight dogs when it’s raining.

 Scorpio

All your problems cannot be solved by putting them in one basket full of eggs. Try putting them in with your muffins instead!



Sagittarius

If you feel ill a visit to the doctor could be in store.

 Capricorn

Gambling with your possessions always seems like a good idea until it doesn’t.

 Aquarius

Be wary of all new friends today as they may turn out to be Russian spies, or possibly wannabe astronomers. There’s a fine line between the two.

 Pisces

This horoscope may self-destruct in 10 seconds.