Scopes

Brought to you by our own in-house astrologer who now goes by her numerologically correct name of “Ya Righta”

When your lover starts wearing more clothes to bed than to work, it's a good guess that your happiness is close to being over.

Chin up, best foot forward, that’s all we’ve got…

You do have romance in your heart but it needs to be released. Relax all your muscles, perhaps excluding any sphincters, and then tense them all again. Then relax again. Now go get 'em!

One of the problems with getting your own way with love is that sometimes you have to be a bit evil. Thing is - you're a natural, that's all.

Only love can break your heart… but trans-fatty acids will also have a damn good try.

True Love is only ever one step away. But then so is it's ever present bosom-buddies, failure and humiliation.

Significant other, or S.O., is a fairly disturbing way to refer to a loved one. Why not call them "my buddy" or "unstranger"?

Life can be as romantic as you wish to make it.

A horoscope will affect your decisions today as love will strike your heart and make you ask someone out, someone you would never previously have had the heart do ask out.

You may find love in unexpected places, however, we urge you to think carefully about the places you do go!

Romance is in the air today, just over on Galiano. If you don't happen to be Galiano, then chances are you're going to strike out again throughout this week.

Heaven knows what kinds of things are going to happen you today. It's a hard life being an astrologer and trying to see exactly what's going to happen to YOU. Specifically You. Sorry.