‘n Klipgooi weg

Life so good, living is better

Phil Louw ‘n Klipgooi weg

Phil Louw

As I’ve aged, I’ve become kinder to myself, and less critical of myself. I’ve become my own friend. I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging. Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4am or sleep until noon? I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60 and 70’s, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love .. I will. I will walk the beach in a swimsuit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the jet set. They, too, will get old. I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten. And I eventually remember the important things. Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when somebody’s beloved pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect. I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning grey, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face. So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver. As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don’t question myself anymore. I’ve even earned the right to be wrong. So, to answer your question, I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day (if I feel like it). Ek wil begin deur ‘n klip in die bos te gooi. Soms, net soms, is iets ‘n klipgooi weg, altans dit is wat mense jou wil wysmaak. M.a.w. dit wat jy wil hê, sê hulle, is binne jou bereik, dis net ‘n armlengte weg. Maar is dit werklik so eenvoudig soos om net jou hand uit te steek en siedaar jou begeerte, jou wens, of jou behoefte is bevredig? Maar dalk is om ‘n klip innie bos te gooi eerder soos ‘n raaiskoot, ‘n waagstuk. Mogge troffe en jou probleem is opgelos, dit is as alles goed verloop, want andersins bly dit wat jy op gehoop het steeds buite jou bereik. Niemand weet vir seker wat die ware reik van daardie armlengte is nie. Gooi ‘n mens ‘n klippie in ‘n dam water dan kring die rimpel effek wyer en wyer en wyer uit totdat dit in die niet verdwyn. Dit is heelwat verder as ‘n klipgooi weg. En daarmee saam verdwyn ‘n mens se drome dikwels ook omdat dit in die oneindigheid geruisloos saam met die rimpels wegraak. Wat in die begin ‘n klipgooi weg sigbaar en dalk bereikbaar was se reikafstand word al groter en algaande al hoe meer onbereikbaar. So iets kan ‘n mens laat klippe kou. Soos wat die hoop kwyn, so verdwyn die droom ook dikwels. Dan vervaag die gedagte dat deur ‘n klip in die bos te gooi eintlik bedoel is om ‘n probleem uit te lig terwyl alles blykbaar goed verloop. Maar as dit wat ‘n klipgooi weg is nie reg geteiken en getref word nie, dan kan die swaarkry jou klippe laat kou. En om groot klippe klein te maak is genadelose werk. Dis soos om baie fisiese straf te verduur. Maar as iemand hierdie klip vir jou uit die pad uit rol, die meulsteen van jou nek help afhaal, en jou las saam met jou begin dra, dan bewys hy of sy jou nie net ‘n guns nie maar word hulle jou vennoot met ‘n gedeelde visie en ‘n gedeelde las. Is dit nie deel van ons roeping nie? Om net ‘n klipgooi weg te wees van hulle wat jou nodig het.