NGS
May 2019
Next Generation Speakers
Anana Phifer-Derilhomme
Managing Motherhood & A Mission INSIDE:
How To Make The Most Of A Bad Situation Also:
What Makes You So Special?
Lose the Attitude
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Contents Table of
Editor’s Note... In this issue of Next Generation Speakers Magazine, we go deeper into the things needed to help you become a better speaker. One of the key issues is getting a Speaking Coach. No one does it better than Dr. Ruben West Founder of Black Belt Speakers. It has also been incredible to see the response to NGS Magazine and the impact that it’s making around the country and around the world. With engaging articles, powerful features, and interactive content, NGS Magazine helps propel Speakers to their Next Level of Greatness. Your feedback is critical to the development of this dynamic magazine. If you have any concerns or suggestions about the magazine please don’t hesitate to contact me: Email: Cicone@ciconeprince.com Text: 251-753-6299
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....................................Cicone Prince.Com
............................................Editor’s Note & Table of Contents ...................... Anana Phifer-Derilhomme Managing Motherhood & A Mission .............................................Take The Leap
................... What Makes You So Special?
.......................................Lose The Attitude
........................... How To Make The Most Of A Bad Situation ........................................Speaker Spotlight
I just want to know one thing, Who’s Got Next? Cicone C. A. Prince NGS Magazine Editor
Cover Photo Credit: J Chanel Photography 3
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Managing Motherhood & A Mission “Motherhood is a gift, what a challenge, what a blessing.” Is being a mother one of the most important roles you will play? Yes. Out of a survey of university freshmen in Australia, 40% listed their moms as the most important and influential person they’d ever known, compared with 25% for fathers. Can you be a successful mom and purposely pursue your assignment? I say yes. Yes, you can be a mother and pursue your purpose and destiny. Motherhood is the state or experience of having or raising a child. I have the esteemed pleasure of being a mom to 3 wonderful young men. Richard is 24 years old. Nasset is 16 yrs. old and Jeremiah is 13 years old. I remember the day Richard was born. I was so scared, yet determined to give this child my everything. I was only 19 years old when had Richard. I didn’t have a clue what being a woman let alone a mother to a child. What I did know was my heart was full of love and I was committed to raising him to be an amazing man. And guess what? I did just that, with the help of family, friends, and God. It’s not often we give ourselves credit for how far we have come and what we have achieved. We tend to think we have all the details and processes down. All you need is love, passion, and purpose. God gave me both my children and my mission. I am fully capable of managing both. This doesn’t mean I am perfect. That’s why “manage” is in the title. Motherhood and your mission comparable. God chose you to be the mother to your child(ren). You are well equipped to be the mother to your child. By no means does that mean you will have all the answers and may sometimes feel inadequate and overwhelmed. Prior to writing this piece, I struggled with the idea that I still don’t get it right all the time.
Anana PhiferDerilhomme
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Let me kids tell it; I don’t get it right most of the time. Please understand I am not a perfect mom. I am, however. a mom with 3 sons that are perfect for me. Each of my sons are helping me develop as a mother and a woman. As with everything I do, I understand that I am not perfect. I don’t have to be perfect; I just have to be purposed. I believe that being a mother prepares you to succeed at your mission. As speakers, we have a message to deliver every single time we get on stage, touch a microphone or speak to a client. Just as you have to address each of your children according to their needs, you have to address your audience the same. What may have worked yesterday, may not work today. Take time to understand the people who are assigned to hear your message. As a successful mom, you frequently have to adjust your plans, responses, and tactics to raise healthy, well-rounded, positive children. As a speaker, you have to be prepared to make adjustments and meet the people where they are in order to help them get to where they actually desire and are destined to be. One of the biggest pitfalls I see for mothers is comparing ourselves to other mothers. When we’re on the outside looking in, it’s easy to think that another woman has “it all together”. She’s baking cookies, attending all the PTA meetings, making breakfasts, packing the lunches and have time for hair and make-up. How does she do it? I remember looking at some of my kids’ parents and envying their ability to be present for all activities, cook meals, and look good doing it. I had no idea how they made it all work and/or how much help they may be receiving at home. As speakers, we are messengers on a mission. Your mission is given to you by God. It’s created just for you. No one can fulfill your mission. I don’t have to be perfect to have a successful mission. You have to be purposeful, diligent and consistent to the mission. A mission is defined as an important assignment carried out for political, religious, or commercial purposes. Just like motherhood, there’s not a time clock where we can punch in and out every day. You’re always on the clock. Hence, we have to choose how we spend our time wisely. No matter what day of the week it is, there’s always an opportunity to mother our children and work on our mission. Let’s take a moment and consider what it is to manage anything. To manage is to succeed to obtain your goal. To survive and cope. I can say most days it feels like that’s just exactly what I am doing as a mother. When you manage something, you succeed in attaining one’s aims, especially against heavy odds. I will attain my mission to raise my children, be a messenger and build my legacy against all odds! I have the absolute pleasure to mother 3 boys. If you too have more the one child, you know how different they all can be. So, just when you think you have one figured out the other child needs something and their needs, desires, and personalities can be very different. As a mom you have to adjust your delivery, response and approach to achieve the desired response or result.
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Motherhood requires sacrifice. I decided long ago not to sacrifice my mission because of my role as a mother. Even more recently, over the past 4 years, I decided to no longer sacrifice my motherhood over my career. 4 years ago, I was working in corporate America. I had the office with a view and the paycheck to match the view. However, I was not fulfilled. I was sacrificing my role as a mother for my career. Have you ever had to choose between attending your child’s competition or attending a dinner meeting or staying late to finish a project? It’s not an easy decision. Often times I chose the latter and sacrificed sitting in the stands cheering on my son. One football season, I missed nearly every one of my eldest sons’ games. At that time, I was young in my career, eagerly climbing the corporate ladder while failing to support my son. The feelings of regret and disappointment weighed heavy on my heart. After climbing the ladder and achieving the level of success that I long admired, I was empty and dissatisfied and longing for more. More peace. More joy. More time. More faith. More out of life. I eventually resigned from my job and started my mission- BlessedGirls a Non-Profit Girls Mentoring & Leadership Organization. I discovered my assignment is working with girls and women to discover their purpose and walk into their destiny. BlessedGirls is now serving girls and women around the world. I began working with my coach and mentor Ruben West and trained with the Black Belt Speakers. I honed my craft as a speaker and developed as a messenger. I received my John Maxwell Certification as a Coach and Trainer. Once I said Yes to my purpose, Yes to my mission, Yes to my calling, I no longer had that yearning for more. I began to walk in my gifting. Live my life unapologetically. Inspire and encourage others to do the same. Freedom is being who you are, loving who you are and blessing someone along the way.
God has given us all an assignment. He has assigned a mission for us all to carry out. Each new day presents a new opportunity to work on our mission.
Many times, parents especially mothers delay and deny their mission because of their children.
I challenge you to seek out ways to fulfill them both. Even if it’s just small steps towards your mission.
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Here are 5 Ways To Manage Motherhood & Your Mission 1. Accept your assignment as a mother and as a messenger. Your child(ren) were given to you. You are capable to love, nurture and raise him/her. You have been given a specific mission and message that the world needs now. Accept who you are as a mother and a messenger 2. Not perfect just purposed. You don’t and won’t be perfect. As a parent, you don’t have all the answers and you will make mistakes. Learn from your mistakes. Be honest and open with your child. You don’t have to wait for the perfect time to develop your mission. There is no perfect time. Take what God has deposited in your heart and move towards the purpose which is perfected in you. 3. No comparisons. DO NOT compare your mission and mothering to anyone else. You are who you’re called to be. As the saying goes “the grass is always greener on the other side”. The mother who looks like she has it all together has her own set of challenges. Embrace your uniqueness. Your test creates your testimony. You have the power to share your story and bring hope and life to others. Yes, there are many speakers. No one has your voice. There are people assigned to your voice. Don’t cheat them by comparing yourself to anyone else. 4. Schedule quiet time and quality time. Make time to build yourself up. As speakers, we need to operate in our overflow not when we’re empty. Appropriate time for your personal development. I require quiet time and nap time. Those who know me, know this to be true. I need downtime. I do not operate well without time alone. Make time to be quiet so you can hear what needs to be said. Ask for wisdom. Get to work. Quality time is so important. No phone, emails, messages just connecting with your child(ren). It’s ok to block out time on your schedule for both quiet and quality time. 5. Celebrate & Recognize small wins. Celebrate with ice cream or a night out dining at kids’ favorite restaurant. Recognize their efforts on school projects, volunteering, civility and their ability to make good decisions and display positive characteristics. We can easily see the bad decisions or mistakes our children make. Be intentional. Look for something to celebrate or recognize in your children and yourself! Yes, clap for yourself! You made a deadline. You followed up with a prospect, you landed the gig, finished the book! Celebrate IT As a coach, I work with women around the world to develop their mission and message while being a successful mother. This is the time to rise to the occasion. Raise happy, healthy and confident children that will contribute to society. Don’t be discouraged by social media and what society displays as popular parenting. Use your wisdom, faith, and courage to teach, encourage and motivate your child to be bold, beautiful and brilliant. Your children are your legacy. Your mission is your legacy. You can have a fruitful mission and an impactful message. You can manage motherhood and a mission! If you know it’s your time to move forward with your mission and know you can benefit from having a coach to assist you, contact me today to get started with a strategic success plan. My expertise is speaking to women and girls. As a Civility Ambassador, I travel the world supporting civil discourse, justice, and peace for all. As a John Maxwell certified coach and trainer, I offer one on one and group leadership, personal and business development. I’d love to hear from you and get you scheduled for a complimentary session.
~ Anana Phifer-Derilhomme 9
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What Makes You So Special? Often time, when someone asks that question, is in a negative tone. They are saying it sarcastically as if to have you question your worth. When I ask this question my motives are altogether different. Someone once said, “Powerful People ask Powerful Questions!” So the purpose of this question is to direct your thought process in the direction of answering it. You see if you never really take the time to discover your uniqueness then you never really truly understand your value. Your uniqueness, like your fingerprint, it totally yours and you have to own it. You serve no one by playing small and trying not to shine. Your light may not be as bright as others or as big, but for the person, in a dark place, your light makes all the difference in the world. I was sharing with our Sunday School how you can’t measure darkness. Darkness is just the absence of light. In a completely dark room a match and make a newspaper readable. In people’s lives, your uniqueness can provide enough light for them to see their way out of a bad situation. So have you discovered your uniqueness and why it’s needed in the world today? Have you spent enough time taking a personal inventory of your own gifts and abilities that can change the world around you? Have sat down and cemented in your mind your reason for being and then move forward with that reason? Mark Twain said it like this, “The two most important days in your life are the day you were born, and the day you found out why?” Answering the last part to me is the Summit to understand your reason for being. We owe it to everyone around us to answer that question. The world is waiting for your answer. ~Cicone Prince 12
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Lose The Attitude There are few things worse than trying to help someone that doesn’t want help. One thing I can think of is needing help but pride and arrogance keep you from asking for it. I know that being an entrepreneur requires a special individual. An individual who is bold enough to launch out on his/her own to start a business with the hope of financial independence. But just because you may have a talent and ability to do something that other people are willing to pay for doesn’t mean that you have everything under control. The biggest mistake that I have seen entrepreneurs make is that “I Got This!” attitude. O.K. Lose the attitude. Unless you have been trained in the business that you start then all you have is a long way to go. You may be good at what you do, but you can’t be good at everything. When you start a business reality will set in quickly. The challenge is how we respond to it. This sobering truth will come when things that should have been done months ago are still sitting in your in box, if you are lucky. Or even when you find out that there is some paper work that you forgot to file and now there is a penalty for it not being filed in time. No one likes to look bad, slow or incompetent, but getting angry with others or yourself does no one any good. Unless you let that anger fuel you to do it right on the next go round. There is a phrase I often use when I talk to my children, and that phrase is “Next Time…” The old saying “There is no use crying over spilled milk” has some merit. Once it’s out of the glass and on the table or floor it becomes only good for the household cat. 16
Getting mad about it wouldn’t make it go away, but not learning from it will cause us to knock over the next glass of milk just as easily. We need to have the right attitude about taking on the giants of starting and operating a small business. Trying to impress people and boast about the fact that we have gotten the business starting only shows that we lack the understanding of what’s truly involved. In high school I worked for an entrepreneur who owned a fish market. Now I admit this was not the most glamorous job in the world but it did teach me some valuable lessons about what a small business owner has to contend with. Being the first one there, the last one to leave and the one with the most to lose will get anyone’s attention. When we really think about it, working for ourselves in a small business means that we are really going to WORK! Because we don’t just have Click here to purchase one boss, but every customer becomes our boss. If our business is to survive we have to overcome working in a vacuum and trying to do everything ourselves. I know it’s hard but it can be done.
~Cicone Prince
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How To Make The Most Of A Bad Situation One of the biggest challenges anyone can face is being in a Bad Situation. Truth be told, we’ve all been there, trying to pick up the pieces after a reality-shattering event can always be though. But if we are not careful we will be in such a hurry to run away for that event that we will leave the lessons that we can take from it. I can hear some of you now questioning how I can say that or how can anyone learn from a Bad Situation? Well, let’s take a look. Most Bad Situations carry with them a cost. They involved something valuable, something of high worth. Whether it’s emotional, physical or financial, there is a value that’s at stake. Let’s use for example making an omelet and you only have one egg (this recently happen to me.) That egg’s value increases because it’s the last one in the house. Since I really wanted an omelet I would take extra measures to make sure that I kept the egg safe until it was securely cooked and on my plate. Now I know that’s an exaggeration but what if we are taking a gas can with no top in the middle of the desert and you had to walk 20 miles with it to put gas in your car. If you spilled it before you made it to your car then those stakes would be higher. When we find ourselves in a Bad Situation, we should look for the lessons that we can learn from being there. Sometimes the lesson is the company that we keep. They may be the cause of us being in that bad situation. Other times it may be our inability to be patient and wait for the right timing in order to get the best results. Here are some steps on how to make the most of a bad situation: 1. Accept it for what it is. 2. Acknowledge the part you played in it. 3. Think about what YOU could have done to achieve a different outcome. 4. Have a dialog with key decision makers and get their input. 5. Make notes of the lessons that were learned from the situation. 6. Package those lessons for future use. 7. Share those lessons when needed If we never comb through the situation of our life we will leave valuable nuggets that can help us and those around us.
~Cicone Prince 18
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