Bra, takk. Takk, bare bra. Ganske bra. Ikke så verst.
Good, thank you. I’m perfectly fine, thank you for asking. Quite well! Not too bad.
The last of these may indicate that not everything is as good as it possibly could be, but that you are still coping. This will be as far as anyone goes in admitting that things are less than ideal, unless one is talking to someone one knows very intimately. This exchange is essentially a polite inquiry, not an invitation to unload all your troubles onto the person who asks the question. It’s acceptable to follow up with a brief mention of your plans or your current activities, to put your state of well-being in context. And while you should never admit trauma and suffering, it is also best not to admit to any excessive feelings of joy, success, or general smugness, since bragging is undesirable too. You also need to be aware that since these are actual questions that expect an answer, not everyone can be asked them. Do not ask that nice gentleman sitting next to you on the bus how he is doing, and do not ask your boss or your teacher if she is all right this fine morning. It’s probably best not to ask your in-laws the first time you meet them, either; you need to get to know them properly first. It is all a question of levels of intimacy and privacy. Norwegians err on the side of caution, and do not assume – or want to seem to assume – that they have the right to know details of a stranger’s health. If your boss or your teacher asks you one of these questions, however, this is acceptable, since they are expressing interest in the welfare of someone in their care. Unless you know them really well, or they are already aware that your life is currently unravelling, you should probably tell them that you are fine. There are exceptions even to this rule, of course. If someone does know you well, or is your friend and cares about you, then their question is probably an expression of real interest in your well-being. They want to hear the truth! If your friends already know that things are less than perfect, their question might be phrased slightly differently, which will indicate that they are willing to hear the truth: Hvordan er det med deg? Hvordan har du det, egentlig? Both of which imply a degree of How are you really? And you should of course always tell your doctor or your psychologist the truth! If someone has asked you how you are doing, you may respond by expressing a similar interest in their well-being. Thankfully, this is easy. You simply ask: Og du? Og med deg?
10
And you? And with you?