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PROPERTY THAILAND

Hua Hin’s ONLY Buyer’s Broker ABSENT WITHOUT LEAVE FOR THE EXPAT IN ALL OF US What’s happening, and might be happening, in and around Hua Hin

Contact us via AWOL on: 081 649 8361 / 081 614 8728 property@awolonline.net

GET RACING FROM ONLY 400 BAHT! OPEN EVERYDAY 10.30AM - 7PM, LATE NIGHT BY APPOINTMENT www.gokarthuahin.com

Call 032 547 199 (Office) or 081 817 3000 (Mobile) Soi 2, Phetchkasem Road opposite Hua Hin Airport

Ban The Berks! French example inspires local campaign

hua hin, thailand Following the controversial legal moves in France to outlaw the ‘burqa’, the full face veil worn by some Muslim women, moves appear to be afoot in Hua Hin to make some new laws here to combat what is seen as a growing problem. However the targets for the proposed law changes are not the veiled Islamic women, and the demands are not for anyone to be uncovered; in fact it is quite the opposite. The ‘Ban The Berks’ campaign has been instigated by a group called ‘We Hate Overweight Rude EuropeanS’ (WHORES), who have long campaigned for European holidaymakers and expats to follow certain modes of behaviour and dress, such as; • Always wear something to cover the torso; • Never wear Speedo style swimming trunks;

• Never speak in a voice above 50 decibels; • Never query the price of a lady drink or bar fine; • Never wear socks with sandals.

Emboldened by the success in France of the campaign against the veil, WHORES have just issued a new list of demands which include: • The right to refuse entry to anyone who can’t see their toes when standing up straight; • Anyone who clicks their fingers to get service can lawfully have their bill doubled; • Claims made by foreigners to have once served in special forces, acted as spies or to have vast wealth to result in an immediate ‘ringing of the bell’. WHORES have also announced that they are planning street campaigns where anyone exhibiting any unwanted behaviour or dress will

be kidnapped, drugged and will wake up on stage at the Blue Angel cabaret show. A spokeswoman for the group said, “These foreigners cannot continue in the way they have; they come over here expecting to shag our girls (and boys) while showing absolutely no respect for our customs and culture. Next thing you know they’ll be demanding one year money back guarantees for faulty goods! We see ourselves as being on the front line and this is just the thin end of the wedge.”

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15 October 10

‘CASHBACK’

Buying a Property or Business here? Up to 5% paid to ALL Buyer’s through

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WWW.THAIPROPERTYDIRECT.COM Property and Lifestyle Check us out Railway Tavern’s 2nd birthday! BAR & RESTAURANT SOI 102

Established in Hua Hin since 2006 Take Away Free Local Delivery

Contact us on 087 917 9579 Open 4pm ‘til late Free Wi-Fi, Pool, Darts, Live Sports

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HUTSADIN ELEPHANT FOUNDATION

Help the Elephants of this area - many are now unable to be kept by their owners due to ill health, age or being unable to work any more. The Hutsadin Elephant Foundation will take care of these animals but needs both volunteers and donations to do so. Please help these gentle giants, or just visit them at the Foundation on the Pala-U Road. Tel: 032 827098 or 081 199 0798. email: wut611@hotmail.com


Play Page 3 Play Fair this week at Play Sports Lounge Saturday LIVE! Football: EPL matches at 9pm plus Aston Villa v Chelsea at 11:30pm Sunday LIVE! Football: Everton v Liverpool, 19:30 Blackpool v Man City, 22:00 LIVE! Motor Cycling: Australian MotoGP 12 noon Monday 9 Ball Play Sports Lounge v Kom Hom Tuesday LIVE! Football: Blackburn v Sunderland 2am Wednesday 8 Ball Play Sports Lounge v The Lord Webb

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Sometimes contradictory, bewildering, revolutionary and hypocritical, Red-Light Nights, Bangkok Daze is a collection of articles on the complex and fascinating world of sex in Asia. About the Author William Sparrow is a journalist based in Asia. He has a regular column, “Sex in Depth,” in Asia Times Online, and is the editor of AsianSexGazette.com. He loves to Play and co-sponsors Page 3. 3

And I

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Weather, Money, Information brought to you by Local Forecast

Day Conditions Temp °C Low High Saturday Plenty of clouds with rain tapering off 26 29 Sunday Mostly cloudy; showers in spots 26 31 Monday Rain 26 30 Tuesday Cloudy with a couple of showers 26 29 Wednesday Periods of rain 25 29 Thursday Clouds and sunshine with spotty showers 26 31 Friday Some rain am; otherwise, mostly cloudy 26 31

World Forecast

Friday 15th October 2010 City Min Max Weather Amsterdam 6 13 Rain Athens 16 23 Cloudy Auckland 10 20 Cloudy Beijing 8 22 Cloudy Berlin 6 11 Cloudy Buenos Aires 11 18 Rain Chicago 8 16 Cloudy Copenhagen 2 11 Cloudy Dubai 26 34 Clear Dublin 7 14 Cloudy Geneva 10 11 Fog Helsinki -2 3 ?Snow Ho Chi Minh 23 30 T-storms Hong Kong 25 30 ?Rain Islamabad 21 34 Clear Jakarta 23 31 Mist Jerusalem 24 35 Dry Jo’burg 14 22 T-storms Karachi 26 36 Fine Kuala L’pur 25 34 Fine London 7 14 Bright Madrid 7 17 Fine Manila 26 33 T-storms Mexico City 8 23 Cloudy Moscow 0 3 Snow New Delhi 23 31 Fine New York 8 14 Showers Oslo -3 6 Clear Paris 9 15 Rain Perth 9 24 Ptly Cldy Phnom-Penh 23 29 ?T-storms Rio 16 32 Fine Riyadh 24 35 Clear Rome 13 23 Rain San F’cisco 15 26 Fine Singapore 25 33 Cloudy Stockholm 0 5 Clear Sydney 18 24 Rain Tokyo 18 25 Cloudy Vientiane 22 33 ?T-storms Yangon 23 32 ?T-storms Zurich 6 10 Fog

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Exchange Rates

At Thursday 14th October 2010 (mid-market rates) Currency Value(Baht) US Dollar 29.68 Pound Sterling 47.44 Euro 41.72 Japanese Yen 36.31 Malaysian Ringgit 8.82 Singapore Dollar 22.82 Brunei Dollar 22.10 Chinese Yuan 4.41 Indonesian Rupiah 2.95 Indian Rupee 0.57 Korean Won 0.02 Australian Dollar 29.49 New Zealand Dollar 22.56 Swiss Franc 31.09 Danish Krone 5.59 Norwegian Krone 5.16 Swedish Krona 4.52 Canadian Dollar 29.62 UAE Dirham 6.51 Bahrain Dinar 53.23 Omani Rial 52.48 Qatar Riyal 6.41 AWOL makes no warranties, express or implied, regarding these rates and shall not be liable for any losses or damages incurred in connection with them.

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Lin’s Cafe

‘noted for fresh air and fun’

Lin’s Cafe

Open Every Day from 7.30am Big Breakfasts - Low Price Roast Beef Dinner only 160 bt Tel: 082 2512473 Phetkasem Road, near Soi 80

Useful Numbers

Emergency Calls Police 191 Crime 195 Fire 199 Traffic Control Centre 197 Highway Police 1193 Tourist Police 1699 Tourist Service Centre 1155 Missing Persons 02 282 1815 Hua Hin Police Station 032 511 027 Cha-Am Police Station 032 471 321 Hua Hin Hospital 032 511 743 San Paulo Hospital 032 532 576 to 585 Hua Hin Red Cross 032 512 567 Other numbers Hua Hin Municipality 032 532433 Hua Hin Tessabahn 032 511 047 Hua Hin Immigration Office 032 522 656 Hua Hin Bus Terminal (non air-con) 032 511 230 (air-con) 032 511654, 032 512543 Hua Hin Railway Station 032 511 073 TAT 032 513885 Tourist Information Centre 032 512 120 Hua Hin Electricity 032 512 215 Hua Hin Water 032 511 677 TOT 032 519 000/001 TT&T 032 532 018 British Embassy Consular Correspondent: Steve Ketteringham 086 7933461 or e-mail on steve@ketteringham.com


English corner

Bobby’s British Breakfast Foods

served up by Do you wonder why we say certain things, or what they really mean? Each week we will examine a different word or phrase and tell you how UK Sausages, Ham, it came about. Bacon, Pies, Teas etc. This week it is.. Motley crew Call 087 155 7737 or 089 985 7473 An assorted and ill-disciplined group of ne’er do wells. Since at least the 14th century, ‘motley’ (with a variety of spellings) has been the name of a type of cloth made from two or more colours and, in later years, the name of clothing made from such cloth. There are several citings of motley in the late 14th century, including this from the Prologue of Chaucer’s Canterbury Tales: “A marchant was there ... In motlee, and hye on hors he sat.” The best-known wearers of motley were jesters or harlequins and the patchwork costume became their standard style of stage dress. From the 17th century onward, any miscellaneous ragbag of undisciplined ne’er-do-wells might find themselves described as a ‘motley crowd’, ‘motley herd’, ‘motley assembly’ etc. Added to this list, but with no especial significance came ‘motley crew’. It may be that this was in reference to the crews of sailing ships, with the ‘motley’ being used to distinguish between an assortment of types, as distinct from a crew of disciplined and uniformed sailors. The earliest citation that found of ‘motley crew’ in print certainly refers to sailors. That’s in George Anson’s Voyage Round the World, 1748: This ship they resolved, if possible, to carry to Europe... but their great difficulty was to procure a sufficient number of hands to navigate her. They endeavoured to supply this defect by pressing many of the inhabitants of Buenos Ayres, and putting on board besides all the English prisoners then in their custody, together with a number of Portuguese smugglers whom they had taken at different times, and some of the Indians of the country. With this motley crew (all of them except the European Spaniards extremely averse to the voyage) Pizarro set sail from Monte Video. With the associations of a ‘motley crew’ with indiscipline and garish costume, what better name for a heavy rock band? Mötley Crüe formed in 1981 and adopted the name. In the fashion of the time, like contemporaries Siouxsie & the Banshees and Enuff Z’nuff, they indulged in a deliberate misspelling. That fashion has passed now, but it’s unlikely that their bass player Nikki Sixx will revert to his given name of Frank Carlton Serafino Feranna, Jr.

Bar For Sale

Two storey premises which has bar area, three bedrooms and three bathrooms, plus four air conditioning units. Located in busy town centre street.

Low price of 1 million baht for quick sale

Please contact 080 991 8565, 081 614 8728 or property@awolonline.net for more information and details.

English & Thai Language Courses

• Visa Service • Translations • TEFL Courses 032-470681 www.insightenglish-huahin.com

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Don’t Care

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C B ut A v a W o uf t li n f h 2 d OL y a is 1/ u o l c 10 n u o o r T u /1 t m av p 0 il e e o a r n l n o (d f u r o t in r a k a nd s 1 n 0 % pr o t d es in is e c c n lu o t d u n at e t d )

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Public House and restaurant

all day breakfast from 8.30am sunday roast available every day daily specials childrens menu draught english cider happy hour 4.30 - 6.30pm (bottled beers from 50 baht, wines and spirits at discounted prices) Luxurious suites overlooking the beach, large outside sun terrace and free WIFI

Located on the corner of Chomsin/ Naresdamri rd by the fishing pier Ample parking nearby For bookings or more information call 032 530087 or 086 603 5335

Weird News Foushan, China

Kung fu sisters stage combat tournament to find men to date

A pair of deadly kung fu sisters have given traditional dating the chop - to hold a challenge tournament where only the survivors will get the chance to date them. Marital arts experts Xiao Lin, 22, and little sister Yin, 21, are to stage a three day fighting festival in Foushan, south east China, where only the toughest suitors stand a chance of getting through. 6

First contestants must show off their archery skills, then they must carry a heavy weight over sharpened bamboo spears, and finally they have to defeat one of the sisters in full contact combat. Only then will contestants earn the right to remove the girls’ masks and propose to them. ‘They can chose open hand or any weapon they wish but we won’t be holding back. If they can’t beat us they aren’t worthy,” explained Lin. ‘We tried dating agencies but the men we met were all too weak. We could beat them easily,’ said Yin. ‘So we went back to ancient ways called Bi Wu Zhao Qin - which was the way warrior princesses would find their men.’ But so far, only a trickle of brave contestants has come forward. ‘I’m a very good martial artist - but I’d want to see them with the masks off before I decided if I wanted to fight for them,’ said one doubtful suitor. west midlands, england 10 out of 10 for baby’s arrival A baby scored 10 out of 10 as she was born on the 10th second of the 10th minute of the 10th hour of October 10, 2010, it has been reported. Niamh Bond was not due for another eight weeks when she popped out on Sunday weighing 3lb 7oz at the Good Hope Hospital in Sutton Coldfield, West Midlands. Mum Keelie Hearne, 20, told reporters: “When I looked at the clock and even saw the 10 seconds as well I was gobsmacked.”


AWOL Sudoku

Terrace 90 Deli Now Open

Solutions on a platter at Terrace 90 Deli with Meats, Salads, and fine Each week we will present you with two Sudoku puzzles; an easy one Wines at “Supermarket Prices” and a hard one. Just fill in the empty squares so that each horizontal and See Ad p 15 and terrace90.com for details vertical line has all the numbers 1 to 9, as well as each section.

Puzzle 1 (Easy)

Last week’s solutions Puzzle 1

Puzzle 2 (Hard)

PHOENIX BAR come and choose from the best and largest selection of music in town Big screen TV, Pool and Darts Make it your hideaway in Hua Hin

Puzzle 2

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About

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Prices: 1 year (52 issues) ฿2500; 6 months (26 issues) ฿1500; 3 months (13 issues) ฿1000

Bars / Pubs

Beer O’Clock Club Boapa’s Place Bob and Noks Bobby’s Bar Dick’s Office Dizzy Dolphin Dolphin Bar Lolitas Lucky Shot Phoenix Bar Play Sports Lounge Railway Tavern Sabai Bar The Lord Webb T.N.T. Bar

Restaurants / Food

British Breakfast Foods Buffalo Tavern Captain’s Fish & Chips Chameleon Hua Hin Ham & Bacon Kom Hom Lin’s Cafe Lost Cafe S & S Indian Restaurant Terrace 90 William Tell

Activities / Services

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10 032 536970, 087 599 1913 23 085 425 1185 10 089 586 1700 23 087 155 7737, 089 985 7473 20 089 046 9505, 085 930 7232 24 032 522418, 083 317 3008 17 085 383 5387, 082 244 1911 14 087 037 7731 20 086 178 1550 7 3 9 085 429 0378 086 174 6165, 089 913 7926 18 10 089 049 2141, 089 548 8003 11

5 6 11 13 1 2/15 4 10 10 7/15 23

Hot Property Land For Sale Property Marketplace Property Thailand thaipropertydirect.com

www.lolitashuahin.com aknabe@gmx.net www.playsportslounge.com kevinmilke@yahoo.co.uk lord_webb@hotmail.com

bobstanley21@yahoo.com info@buffalobillshuahin.com jim_coconuts@hotmail.com

032 513144, 086 161 9342

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8 032 533 533 info@hotpropertyhuahin.com 9/19/20 081 614 8728 property@awolonline.net 5 081 649 8361 property@awolonline.net 1 Contact via property@awolonline.net 2/16 www.thaipropertydirect.com

Miscellaneous

Hutsadin Elephants 2 Red Light Nights, Bangkok Daze 3

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bobsclobber@hotmail.co.uk bobstanley21@yahoo.com huahindick@hotmail.com gardols@netzero.net

087 155 7737, 089 985 7473 032 530087, 086 603 5335

AWOL 081 614 8728, 081 649 8361 Braze Head Tattoo 20 086 739 8645 Construction Gang 18 081 614 8728 The Dartman 22 087 155 7737, 089 985 7473 032 547 199, 081 817 3000 Go Kart Hua Hin 1 Hua Hin Motorcycles 9 086 2845055, 080 9993403 Hua Hin Tech Services 19 086 600 5114 Insight English 5 032 470681 Siam Cons. Insurance 11 085 962 2232, 032 512075 Thai Security Pro 22 081 614 8728 X-Plode Football Arena 14

Property

@ www.beeroclockclub.com

032 827098, 081 199 0798

wut611@hotmail.com

Contact via editor@asiansexgazette.com


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Railway Tavern HUA HIN

PUB & CAFE

Send your jokes to submissions@awolonline.net and get your name in print! Brought to you by The Railway Tavern

SOI 88

085 429 0378

BOYS IN BLUE (Thanks to David) How do you tell the difference between a UK Police Officer, an Australian Police Officer and an American Police Officer? By posing the following question: You’re walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges. You are carrying a Glock .40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.What do you do? Answer from a UK Police Officer: Well, that’s not really enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it? Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children? Is it possible he would be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want to kill me or would he be content just to wound me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me? Should I call 9-9-9? Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behaviour. If I raise my gun and he turns and runs away, do I get blamed when he falls over running away, knocks his head and kills himself? If I shoot him, and lose the court case does his family have the opportunity to sue me, cost me my job, my credibility, and will I lose my family home? Answer from an Australian Police Officer: BANG ! Answer from an American Police Officer: BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click... (sounds of reloading) BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click. Daughter: “Nice grouping dad, were those the Winchester Silver Tips?”

Land For Sale

In Pranburi 85 square wah (340m2) behind pranburi hospital, 200m from main road. 300,000 baht For more information please call Jeab on 081 614 8728

Hua Hin Motorcycles Soi 80

BIKES - BUY, SELL & RENT Scooters for rent and sale

Rents from ฿3,000 a month/ ฿200 a day; Sales from ฿ 20,000

Many scooters in stock Auto and manual Visit our shop or contact us for more info and weekly rates 086 2845055 or 089 0557728 (Thai/Eng) Email: soldbkk@gmail.com

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Morals

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Visit the village - discover Khao Takiab

Bob & Noks Bar

Home of Khao Takiab Golf Society Motorbike / Car Rentals Club hire 089 586 1700

SPORTS GUESTHOUSE BAR R E S T A U R A N T

International Wines, Bottled & Draft Beers Two satellite systems showing live sports Tel 032 511624

032 536970 or 087 599 1913

Get your business on the map!

Got something to sell? Looking for a bargain?

Contact sales@awolonline.net or call 081 649 8361

Your STARS

Capricorn Dec 22 - Jan 19 Love magick is strong in Taurus this week, leading those lucky enough to be born under that sign far, far away from you. Aquarius Jan 20 – Feb 18 Your death will be painful, but it will give a notorious femme fatale a chance to say “I’m afraid I’ve always had a rather…sharp tongue.” Pisces Feb 19 – Mar 20 Your life will soon lose all direction, which, considering how it has been going, should come as a vast relief. Aries Mar 21 – Apr 20 Venus is in retrograde in your sign this week, which you’d think would mean problems in your love life but actually indicates imminent botulism. Taurus Apr 21 – May 21 Avoid making decisions based on ambiguous advice from questionable sources this week, even if she was in labor with you for 38 hours. Gemini May 22 – June 21 Change will come to your area when you annoy an air traffic controller who knows your home address on the same day his ex boards a 747 to Maui. Cancer Jun 22 – Jul 22 You’ve never been the sort of person who lets all kinds of supposed “signs” tell you how you should drive your car. 10

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Leo Jul 23 – Aug 22 You’re starting to think that maybe the funny nose and glasses won’t actually be enough to hide you when Jesus returns in all his glory. Virgo Aug 23 – Sep 22 Sometimes it feels as if your life’s long, empty hours are all beginning to blur together, but take heart. There really aren’t very many left. Libra Sep 23 – Oct 23 Although the doctors want to do all they can to help ease your recovery, they cannot legally allow you to make a cool chair out of your severed limbs. Scorpio Oct 24 – Nov 21 Scorpio is a water sign, with all that implies, but this week it will be much more important for you to pay attention to fire-exit signs. Sagittarius Nov 22 – Dec 21 You’ll continue to be baffled by people who expect you to be their friend and call them just because you have previously said the words “we’re friends” and “I’ll call you.”

Count

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check out our dynamite daily menu & specials Mondays

Large Pork Chop with Mash, Peas, Fried Tomatoes & Gravy - 195 baht

Tuesdays

Sausage, Mash & Peas - 140 baht

Thursdays

Beef Stew - 160 baht

T. N. T. BAR

Fridays

Fish, Chips & Peas - 160 baht

Saturdays

soi sarakam (go down Binthabaht from Hilton and take first right; TNT is 30m along on left)

Balloon Chasers Guide

Parties, special offers, regular events, celebrations and more; if you want it in AWOL email info@awolonline.net or contact Noi at Sabai Bar (Tel: 086 174 6165) by Wednesday noon every week. Or join the AWOL forum (www.awolonline.net/forum) and post details of events there. NEW This week and coming soon Halloween Pub Crawl: Hash House Harriers will get costumed for a pub crawl on Halloween night. Meet at 7:pm at the north end of Naebkhars Road and amble on to Bintabaht for the crawl. Anyone with half a mind to join the nonsense is most welcome to come along if costumed. Please e-mail donaltetley@yahoo.com if you want to come along and let us know your costume. No charge - just pay for your own drinks which will be provided at a special discounted rate at several ginmills. You may find more about this in www.huahin-hhh.com Dolphin Bar - Happy Hour 11am - 7pm, buy 2 get 1 free (see ad p 17) TNT Bar - Daily food menu plus specials at great prices (ad p11) Regular Events Terrace 90 Every Friday / Saturday Live Music from 7pm; Every Friday 6 - 8.30pm 199 baht Buffet; Mexican Buffet every Tuesday 199 Baht with special price Margaritas (ad p 15) Curly’s Bar Every day Happy Hour - 1 - 6pm all beers only 50 baht per bottle plus all day English breakfasts from 95 baht. William Tell Restaurant - All day breakfast 99 baht (see ad p 23) Dizzy Dolphin - Happy Hour between 3 and 7pm; buy three beers get one free; gin, vodka and rum mixed drinks only 55 baht (ad p 24) Bobby’s Bar, Soi 102. Free Buffet Dinner, Monday to Friday 4 - 6pm. Leo Draft, glass 45 bt, English pint 65 bt, Jug 135bt or if you can handle it, a 3 litre Tower of Leo, 399 bt. Leo Draft prices are all day everyday (from open till close). British Breakfast all day, Only 99 bt. KomHom, Soi 102 4 to 6pm - Beat the Bar for cheap drinks! (ad p 2) Buffalo Tavern Happy Hour 4.30 - 6.30pm (ad p 6) White Swan Pub & Restaurant Every Friday from 7pm Farang BBQ,Ribs,Steaks,Burgers,Buffet table, all you can eat, ONLY 99 baht, After dinner Pool competition, Parties of 6 or more please reserve table call 08958 76743. On the A4 Petchkasem Rd just before Pranburi Flyover Cheap Charlie Happy Hour noon - 7pm, buy 2 get 1 free Down Town Bar, Soi Selakam Buy 2 get 1 FREE at any time, every day. Headrock First Friday every month - Pub Quiz; Mon - Fri -10am til 8pm - 55 baht all beers/selected spirits Dick’s Office Fridays - open darts 7.30pm (ad p 21) British style Sunday Roasts available at: Lin’s Cafe, Phetkasem Road between Sois 80/78 - (ad p4); Jungle Juice, Soi Selekam (ad p 20); Dick’s Office, Soi 80 (ad p 21); Ye Olde Buffalo Tavern, Chomsin Rd (ad p 6)

Chicken & Chips/ Mash - 140 baht

Sundays

Roast Beef or Pork, Roast Potatoes, Mash and 3 Veg - 240 baht

SIAM CONSULTING

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WORLD’S BEST BREAKFAST

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‘Cause The

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An guide to to local local events events An eight eight days days aa week week guide

Hua Hin Live Want your performance here? Email huahinlive@awolonline.net

Don’t Miss This Week

• Cicada Street Dance Competition 2010! At Cicada Market in Khao Takiab, Hua Hin’s principle outdoor performance and arts venue throughout October. Starts Saturday October 9 and continues through 16, 23, and 30 October. Information (in Thai), at www.cicadamarket.net. • ‘In Between’ at the Vic Hua Hin, Saturdays in October. The Vic Hua Hin’s show for the month of October is a medley of short pieces by some of Patravadi Theatre’s more interesting artists. ‘In Between’ will have five more performances, at 7:30 pm on Saturdays 9, 16, 23, and 30 October. Tickets are available at 500, 800, and 1000 baht, with a 50% discount for students. • Party at Souay Vista Social Club on Soi 94, on Saturday 16 October, starting at about 10 pm. Attendees will include cast and crew from the Vic Hua Hin’s production of ‘In Between’, including wonderfully talented musicians, acrobats, monologuists, and dancers. • Chez LouLou Jam Session, Wednesday 20 October. Series of weekly sessions starting Wednesday, 20 October from 8 to 11 pm. LouLou’s is on the ‘Railroad’ street, to the right as you look out from the railway station, next to the 7-11.

Upcoming Ongoing

Stage Shows and Special Performances • Cicada Market and Performing Arts Fair. The Venue@Suansri. Fri/Sat evenings from sunset to 12 pm, Sundays from 4pm; Dining, shopping, art, performances, and films in a beautiful park-like setting. A wonderful place to spend an evening. • SASI Dinner Theatre. SASI Restaurant. Nightly at 7:00 pm, Dinner with Thai Contemporary theatre performance. Recommended. They have their own theatre troupe, who are quite good. • Hua Hin Magic Show, Hilton Hotel. Thur. to Sat. at 8:00 pm; A full professional magic show. Adults 400 Bt. Children 200 Bt. Tel. 083 503 0999 • Cabaret Show, Blue Angel Cabaret. Every night 8pm and 9:46pm. Midnight show on weekends. Something a little different.

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the hua hin arts guide

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Nightly Music

• Ricardo Dioso, Classical Guitar Virtuoso: Fri/ Sat/Sun. nights 7 to 10pm @The Duke’s Restaurant • Jazz 4 Dinner with the Hua Hin Ensemble: Friday and Saturday nights from 7 to 10 pm @ Rest Detail Hotel • Bossa Nova and Thai Popular Music. Every night@Thonglor Pub Soi 51 between Petchkasem and Naebkehardt Rds. • Piano Duo, Standards and Thai Songs Nightly from 8pm @Leelawadee Pub and Restaurant. Great fun, expect a crowd. • 100 Pipers Band. 100 Pipers Pub. Nightly exc Mon., starts 11 pm; High-energy Thai country and rock. • Live Jazz and Popular Music. Dusit Resort. House band play nightly in the Polo Bar, exc. Tues, starts 8pm. • Live Music at Terrace 90 Restaurant. Every Fri/ Sat Night from 7 PM - No Cover Charge. • LukNam Band, LukNam Pub. Thai Country and Rock. Nightly 10pm until very late. It rocks. • Soft, Sophisticated Jazz with Mr. Uri (guitar) and Maria (vocal). Coco 51 Restaurant. Nightly 7-10 pm; Soft vintage and contemporary jazz. These guys are good. • Popular, Country, and Oldies. Nokkachan Restaurant and Pub. Nightly from 9pm • Smoriang Band, Smoriang Pub. Thai Country and rock. Nightly 10pm. Great fun, expect a crowd. • Stoned Head Band. El Murphy’s Hotel, Irish Bar, and Restaurant. Nightly from 10pm. Classic rock with Hua Hin’s most venerable band. Classic Pop and Rock. Stone Head Tavern. Nightly from 9 pm. A talented group of Hua Hin veterans keep it swinging • Thai Acoustic Music, TauMai Restaurant. Nightly from 7pm. Tunes from talented singers and guitarists. • Thai Acoustic Music, Plearnwan Vintage Village. Fri/Sat from 8 pm. Khun Oh and Chat come down from Bangkok to regale us all. They are quite good, and often have guest artists. • Modern Thai Popular Music, Thonglor Pub. Every night, from 9 pm ‘til closing


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“ARTS & AIRCON”

CANAL

CHAMELEON Food........ Drinks........

World’s

Wat Borfai

PALM HILLS CHAMELEON

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Open 11am - 10pm (Closed Mondays)

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HUA HIN

SOI 6

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PHETKASEM ROAD

CHA AM & BANGKOK

Venue Guide

• 100 Pipers Pub. Petchkasem Rd at soi 68. The door is about 60 metres north of the intersection. • Blue Angel Cabaret, Central Hua Hin. Located just off Soi Bintabaht. From the Hilton, go down Bintabaht and turn right at the first (no-name) street. The Blue Angel is about 50 m down on the right. • Check Cheu Club, Hua Hin south-central . Soi 86/1, next to the Grand Hotel • Coco 51 Restaurant, Hua Hin north side. Soi 51 at the beach, Hua Hin Tel 032 515597. • Dusit Resort. 1349 Petchkasem Rd. Just north of the ‘underpass’ near the airport. Tel. 032 520009. • El Murphy’s Hotel, Central Hua Hin. 25 Soi Selakam, at ‘Little 5 Points’ in the heart of the entertainment district. Tel 032 511525 • Hi4 Pub. At Hin Nam Sai Suay condominium, Petchkasem Road Soi 7. http://www.hi4pub.co.cc/ • Hilton Hotel, Central Hua Hin. Naresdamri Rd in the middle of Hua Hin’s tourist district. Tel 032 538999. • Leelawadee Pub and Restaurant, Petchakasem Soi 68/1. Hua Hin’s upscale men’s club. (Nice for ladies, too!) • Luknam Pub, Western Hua Hin. On the road to Pala U waterfall. Opposite Phoenix Bar. • Nokkachan Restaurant and Pub, Khao Takiab. Khao Takiab road corner of soi 83. Near Hyatt Regency. • Plearnwan Vintage Village, Hua Hin north side. Petchkasem Road at Soi 40. You can’t miss it. It’s a really unusual building. • The “Queen’s Garden” Park. A lovely public space on the ocean at Soi 19. • Rest Detail Hotel. Soi 19 at the beach, just North of the 19 Rai fairgrounds. 19/119 Soi Hua Hin 19. Tel: 032 547 733 http://www.restdetailhotel.com/ • Sasi Restaurant, Khao Takiab. Next door to The Venue@Suansri, on soi Khao Takiab 83. Tel 032 512488 or 081 880 4004. Web www. sasi-restaurant.com, email sasi@sasi-restaurant.com. • Smoriang Pub, South-Central Hua Hin. In the small soi that runs between San Paolo Hospital and the Grand night market. You’ll find Smoriang on the left, shortly before you hit the railroad tracks. • Stone Head Tavern. On the south east corner of Petchkasem and Chomsin Roads (at the traffic light), 2nd floor. Enter from Chomsin. • TauMai Restaurant. Petchkasem Rd on the ocean side. Two doors north of Index Living Mall. • Terrace 90 Restaurant. Soi 90 (just before Market Village when heading north on Phetkasem Road) about 250 metres up on the right. Tel. 032 516587 email terrace90@gmail.com www.terrace90.com • The Duke’s Restaurant, Hua Hin north side. Soi 51 (aka Damronrat Rd.) at the beach. Just off Naebkehardt Rd. Tel 03 251 5787. www.theduke51,com • The Venue@ Suansri, Khao Takiab. On the corner of Khao Takiab Road and ‘Soi Hyatt’ (soi 83). Tel. 080 536 606. www.cicadamarket.net. Email cicada@cicadamarket.net • Thonglor Pub. Soi 51, between Petchkasem and Naebkehardt Roads. • Vic Hua Hin Theatre and Patravadi Performing Arts Center, Nongkae (Southern Hua Hin). An astonishing complex on 30 rai of land just 5 minutes south of Hua Hin center. To get there, proceed south on Petchkasem Road past the Market Village shopping mall. Take the ‘flyover’ to Prachuab Kirikhan and Pranburi. After the flyover, pass the Centennial Park and night market on your right. The entrance is on the right, about 500 metres past the flyover. The sign at the entrance say “Patravadi High School”. The theatre itself is the large black building. Tel. 032 827815.

13


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DEAR MARY I have been suffering terribly recently because of a lack of sleep which is caused by a recurring strange dream I have been having. I don’t know if it is of any relevance, but I own a bar in the Hua Hin area although I don’t believe the dream is caused by my excessive alcohol consumption. The dream starts with me walking along a road near the sea, like an old fashioned promenade, with the sun setting over the water. As I am walking along, a tall policeman comes towards me, but he is wearing a very old style British uniform complete with helmet. In one hand he is holding a long straight stick, while in the other he is grasping a large white bird by the neck. He motions for me to follow him, which I do, and he leads me to a small door in a wall and we go through into an explosion of flowers, trees, small streams and ponds. There is one larger pond at the centre of the garden with a smooth green appearance, which we move towards, and as we do ripples start to emanate at the centre of the pond and a hand and then an arm appear

14

Relationship woes? Bar girl blues? Sexual deviant? Send your problem to Mary Ann Cotton on submissions@awolonline.net

out of the water, as I imagine in the legends of King Arthur, but rather than a sword there is a small black circular object being held by the hand. I move even closer to see what it is, and I am just putting my hand in my pocket to get my glasses when the hand throws what turns out to be a black ball, which hits me on the head. It is at this point I always wake up with a thumping headache, unable to sleep again. What do you think is the meaning of this dream Mary? Bruce, Khao Takiab Mary says Dear Bruce, I feel this dream possibly represents a failed relationship where you seemed to have a perfectly good situation that has been somehow soured by the other person, but rather than you breaking up with them, they have beaten you to the punch, which has left you feeling rather unsatisfied, and has made it difficult for you to move on. Or it could be due to your penchant for eating cheese and onion sandwiches before you go to bed.


Everyday Low Prices -- Prices You Can Afford Phone 032 516587 terrace90@gmail.com

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Mexican Buffet every Tuesday 199 Baht with 79 Baht Frozen and 99 Baht Hand Shaken Margaritas 199 Buffet every Friday; International Food (see www.terrace90.com for details) Full Bakery - Breakfast All Day - Kids Menu (starts at 59 Baht) - Full Thai Menu Mexican - Pasta - Lamb Chops - Steaks - BBQ Ribs Deli Now Open! Daily Lunch Deals with Fresh Potato Salad, Cole Slaw, Hamburger Patties, Streaky Bacon, Back Bacon, Fresh Meats and Fine Wines at Supermarket Prices. Air Con Two outside Terraces Upstairs Terrace with Large Screen TV

Quick XWord brought to you by Down 1. Food store (6) 2. Decoration (5) 3. Goals (7) 4. Fin (6) 5. Stiff (5) 6. Stage set (7) 7. Repress (6)

13. Dressing (7) 15. Perplexed (7) 16. Overseas (6) 17. Dialect (6) 18. Tusked marine mammal (6) 20. Test (5) 21. Lariat (5)

Last week’s solution Across 1. Restricted (7) 5. Perils (5) 8. Detection device (5) 9. Villain (5) 10. The sheltered side (7) 11. Flightless bird of Australia (3)

12. Chasm (5) 14. Complies (5) 19. Prohibit (3) 20. Diplomatic (7) 22. Nimble (5) 23. Light beam (5) 24. Reside (5) 25. Boring (7) 15

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AWOL CLASSIFIEDS

Sell it fast, Rent it easily, Find it quickly The best place to buy and sell. Business cheap charlie bar and food for sale. In Soi Sarakam , 1.1 million baht or very near offer. Rent paid until Feb 2011, over 3 years left on lease and can renew later. Full working kitchen, staff room with bathroom, two TVs, UBC, pool table, all white goods and stock. Move in start trading, Call Jim 083 784 7455, or Ying 084 156 3592.

Employment Cashier, waitress needed for Bobby’s Restaurant and Bar, on Soi 102, must speak some English, good wages plus tips. Need full or part-time, good place to work, not a girlie bar. Call Nam 089 985 7473 (Thai) or Bobby 087 155 7737 (English) 2 experienced cooks wanted for new thai/ english restaurant. Good salary and working conditions telephone 0851 900 113.

General APPLE I PHONE 3GS 32GB never been locked to any network so can put any sim in, never been used. Call 0890770512 , 20K Nikon CoolPix 35mm digital camera. Selling this camera complete with case, charging stand,extra storage cards and mini tripod. Great camera for those who want great photos. THB 8,000. khuncoke@hotmail. com or phone 085 2236022 Sony Bravia 26” LCD flatscreen. Great condition. THB 6,500. Contact khuncoke@hotmail.com Pioneer home entertainment system - used but very good. Bought originally in the EU. Not a cheap copy!! THB 6,000. khuncoke@hotmail.com coleman igloo. big one on wheels. 3ft.by 2ft. handle allows you to wheel heavy load instead of breaking your back lifting it. paid 4200 sell 1900. like new. tiny one 1/10th size in tesco 500. call 0802446739 LAPTOP FOR SALE. Compaq Presario 2100 new 14” screen AMD ATHLON processor, Windows XP, charger & mouse. 8 yrs old, 4000 baht. Contact Bill 083 315 9710 Books to exchange - over 100 paperback books to swap. Please contact John on 083 305 4544 Dining table and 4 chairs 80 cm. X 120 cm. Light wood, modern as new condition. Can view in Hua Hin Soi 84, Can deliver. 3000 Bht. Tel. Keith 089-0702423

General - sports Golf club set for sale. I have available a set of Callaway Steelhead X14 Pro Series irons in regular shaft, s set of Ben Hogan forged GCD irons with regular steel shafts, Nike Sasquatch Driver OR Taylormade Burner, 3wood & 5 wood Taylormade 300series, a choice of putters, a 56 degree sand wedge and a choice of two stand bags. Choose your set for 15,000 bt Tel Paul 0861 604 261

THAIPROPERTYDIRECT.COM The best place to satisfy all your property needs and more

Lake View Golf Membership for sale. I have 1 membership with 13 years left available at 125,000bt inclusive of transfer fee It won’t last long, call now Tel Paul 0861 604261 Golf Lessons available. Have an issue with your golf swing and just can’t put your finger on it? Let us put you right. Lessons available at 750bt. Proven EGTF technique has reduced a player from 1.7 to 0.9 in just 3 weeks!! Call 0861 604261 King Cobra Golf clubs for sale. 10 degree L4V driver with carbon Diamana regular flex mid-low kick point. 6000bt. 16 degree rescue club with carbon Fujikura Speeder Stiff shaft. 3500bt. SS 3 wood with carbon Aldila regular flex mid kick point. 3000bt. Original clubs, no fakes. Tel Paul 0861 604 261 Taylormade 3 & 5 wood for sale. R580 3 wood & 300 series 5 wood both with same Taylormade mid torque soft tip Stiff flex shaft. Original clubs, no fakes 6000bt for both Tel Paul 0861 604 261 Golf Membership at Lakeview. I am selling my golf membership which is good for another 13 years. Best offer! Transfer fee not included. Contact me at khuncoke@hotmail.com or Phone 085 223 6022 COMPLETE set of ORIGINAL golf clubs. Selling a set of R/H clubs: Callaway Big Bertha Fusion irons,Callaway X (3 wood, 58 & 60 degree lob wedges), Taylor Made (R7 425, 10.5 driver with new med/flex shaft & 5 wood) 2 putters (Ping/Odyssey), Golden Bear rescue, Wilson golf bag, Mizuno bag, shoe bag, tees, balls, travel bag etc.. THB 16,000. Contact khuncoke@hotmail.com or Phone 085 223 6022 SCUBA DIVING EQUIPMENT - Poseidon Jetstream 1st & 2nd stage valves, contents & depth gauges, all hoses, mask, gloves 10,000 baht. Contact BILL 083 315 9710 pool cues for sale! Brand new and second hand. Please contact Andy on 086 178 1550 or come to the Lucky Shot bar and ask to view.

Motoring - 4 wheels plus Mitsubishi Stada for sale. Selling this 2004, Super 2.8L, 4WD complete with bedliner, cargo box and four new tires. Super condition inside and out. Only 38,000kms. Comes with blue book and service history. THB 490,000.00. Email: khuncoke@hotmail.com’ orPhone 085 223 6022 Toyota Vios GT for rent. 2010 White Vios available for rent. 1000bt per day, 5000bt per week or 16,000bt per mth Tel Paul 0861 604261 MAZDA TRIBUTE SUV. 2004 MAZDA TRIBUTE SUV V6 AUTO ,112000 kms, many extras ,taxed and fully insured to September 2010. Test drive available,good condition. 499000. Baht. Call :0871 633394/089 667 1312..

The ORIGINAL TUNINGBOX! High Quality Tuning. ‘Plug & Drive’. The Tuningbox® add-on unit increases turbo diesel engine performance by 25 to 35% while at the same time reducing consumption by up to 10%. More details on www.awolonline.net/classads or contact tuningboxthailand@gmail.com Garmin Nuvi 200W GPS Around 2 years old but never been updated but apparently can be done in Bangkok. Contains full map of Thailand and has taken me all around Bangkok and many parts of Thailand flawlessly. Comes complete with dashboard/windscreen fixing kit and all original cables along with the original box and packaging. In excellent condition and perfect working order. Genuine reason to sell being have just changed cars and want a GPS that will connect to my new cars dashboard screen. Looking for around 5,000 Baht or any near offer. Contact Clive in Hua Hin on 0861692082 or email clivebaker@fireflyuk.net honda city auto 2006 honda city with 60,000kl. car in mint/ near new condition. wife’s car and she treated it like it was made of gold. honda serviced at 10-20-40-60,000kl. have honda book to confirm. 4 door gray color. we put 150,000 down and have paid 4 years at 9,500. you take over last year of payments, pay 250,000 and car is yours. call 0802446739 Mitsubushi Colt, 1600 petrol, 4 door saloon, 118,000 km excellent condition, 2004 model, the car has been 100% reliable, 395,000 Baht or nearest offer,call David 0818469193 for more details. 2007 Toyota Hilux Vigo 4 door Auto Diesel looks and drives like new one owner 87,000 km Met Bronze only 580,000 baht. Tel 0861708720 or 0852848059 Cars & Pickups wanted for CASH!!!! CASH PAID for all late model (2004/2009) Cars and Pickups,in reasonable condition. Call Udo now :089 667 1312.

Motoring - 3 wheels & LESS Honda Steed 400cc for sale. Electric blue Honda Steed with 16,000km for sale in good condition. Oil & water service every 2 months. New rear tyre & new clutch cable. 85,000bt without book or 100,000bt with the book. Available to view at Huahin Motorcycles, Soi 80 Tel Paul 0861 604261 bikes for sale. Suzuki Steep 4 years old,15300 km. Runs really well and fast. Taxed/insured until 05/11. Green book. Honda Sonic 6 years old, 31500 km. Very fast, perfect, serviced regularly, Green book, taxed/ insured ‘till 08/’11. Yamaha Nouvo Elegance, 2008, 9600 km, black-red colour. Taxed/insured, Green book, perfect. Stallion Buddy semi-auto, 125cc, 2009. Runs very well. Only 2000km. As new. Taxed/insured. Green book. Ask for pics. 28000 baht. Yamaha Fino green/black colour 2010, only 850km, as new, taxed/insured, Green book, excellent! Ask for pics.40000 baht. hhmoto@gmail.com

Placing a classified advert in AWOL: Option 1 - email to classifieds@awolonline.net; Option 2 - write the details clearly in BLOCK capitals on paper and deliver to Noi at Sabai Bar, Soi Selekam; Option 3 - register at www.awolonline.net/classads and place your advert there. All options must be by 6 pm on Tuesday to be guaranteed inclusion in that week’s issue. All adverts are free and will be included for at least four weeks automatically, except adverts for business, which are charged at the following rates: Up to 50 words: 500 baht for 13 issues (3 months) 51 words and over charged at 500 baht plus 20 baht per word over 50 for 13 issues. Example: 60 words charged at 500 plus (10 x 20)=700 baht for 13 issues. Please contact classifieds@awolonline.net for further information or to make a booking. 16


And We’re

Join the AWOL forum Motorbike 4 rent daily-montly. We are located in the centre of Hua Hin and we are competitively priced, we have Fino’s, Scoopy’s, Gelato’s, Nouvo, Wave and Clicks all for rent 200 baht per day, 3000 baht per month. We can do a cheaper deal for long term, they are all in good condition, taxed & insured. hhmoto@gmail.com Ex demo 125 cc dirt bike for sale. 4 months old, never driven off road. Baht 29,500 Tel 0818173000

PERSONAL & SERVICES computer need fixing? Dodgy software playing up? Get it fixed quickly and professionally - call 086 600 5114 or visit www.huahintech-services.com

Property Nice 56sqm apartment 1 bedroom for sale in Hua Hin. 500m from the beach and 5 min from town. Only 2 years old. Fully furnished: kitchen, living room, 1 separate bedroom, bathroom, terrace, TV, air con., many cupboards. Located in superb complex with big swimming pool 25X10, fitness, restaurant, pool house, private parking, 24hr security, garden, laundry.. Asking price : 2.9m baht and another similar for 2.5m baht.For further info/photos please contact email philippe.rooman@gmail. com or tel. 080 659 6395 VERY NICE LAND FOR SALE. 2 rai of land, 3 kms from Black Mountain. Near Sunny Valley project. Has water and electric. The land is split into 4 half rai plots and price is 400,000 per plot. A 5 year old fully paid up company can be purchased with the land. Please call 089 586 1700. CONDO FOR SALE TARA TARAA 5th Floor Mountain view , balcony , Pool and 3 min walk to the beach. In Farang name 2.850.000 bht or near offer. Tel Eng 0859308952 Tel Thi 0866655900 E.mail stephendobson911@hotmail.com Beautiful land for sale. REDUCED TO SELL This well sought after development land with beautiful views and cool breezes from the hills of Black mountain Bordered by the Royal Queens private land Minutes to over ten golf courses and only 5 minutes to Hua Hin central Excellent road access Power and water available on site This 4 rai and 60 wah plot has chanote title 1,500,000 per rai Tel : 0852629992 Furnished house/ Company Spacious detached house on the prestigious Mongkol Resort, 4 km from Hua Hin on the Pala-U Road. INTERNAL. Ground Floor: Lounge, Diner, Kitchen, Hall. Formally seperated from each other, though in a spacious open plan layout. Also guest Bathroom. Fitted kitchen - European/Bar style. First Floor: Two large Bedrooms, all furniture fitted. Master Bedroom 28 sqm, spare Bedroom 16 sqm. Large dual access Bathroom, ensuite to Master Bedroom and accessable via Landing for spare Bedroom. Teak Parque Flooring on Stairs and in Bedrooms. All doors are teak. All window frames are aluminium. Air Conditioning throughout. EXTERNAL. Integrated Car Port with storage. Balcony, Terrace and small well established garden. Residents have free use of the Mongkol Resort Hotel swimming pool. THE PROPERTY IS PRICED AT ONE MILLION BELOW VALUATION. Price Baht 3,500,000.00. Email williambattell@hotmail.com or phone 0861740871

Dolphin Bar

082 243 3115 082 244 1911

HD Satellite TV HAPPY HOUR 11AM - 7PM Buy 2 Get 1 Free Hua Hin’s ONLY Original Full size Brunswick Pool Table Food available

Swimming Pool outside the bar Property wanted in Hua Hin. Two/Three bedroom townhome wanted in Cha Am, Hua Hin. Any condition taken into consideration, would like walking distance to beach Please email me with pictures, price and information to tonymoorhouse@googlemail.com land on highway with house for sale in Pranburi across from Makro (296 sq wah) 1 bed, 2 bath, 3 million baht. English spoken, phone 081 378 3436 land for sale 1.35 Rai on Soi 102; build a two storey house and have ocean views, Asking 3 million baht. Email wazwilliams000@aol.com or call 086 9536259 (Tao)

Rentals Looking for Pool Villa for long term rent. We are a Scandinavian couple looking for a nice house with private swimming pool somewhere in Hua Hin. The house needs to have a minimum of 3 bedrooms, and a big plot, as we have a dog. We are non smokers, and will take good care of the property. We are looking for a very good deal on a long term rent, if the price is right, from 12 to 24 months. Buy out later maybe if it is the right house. Price range is 20,000 to 30,000 THB a month. Pictures and information about the house and price can be sent to Tanumshedeimport@gmail.com We are in Hua Hin from November. Condo for lease: Beautiful Palm Pavillion, next to beach, 2 br 2 bath, 128 sq. meters, magnificent sea views, two large balconies, gated entrance, 24 hour security, cctv, building wi-fi, large swimming pool, 5 minutes from center of Hua-Hin. Across the road from Hua-Hin Toyota. 30,000 baht per month. Owner will reduce rent if paid year in advance. Call 086 104 9412. Rent house. 4br/2baths, large living room, large kitchen and Den. 2 balconies - both large, front and back. Comes furnished. 15,000 month. 4 km from town centre. Call 080 244 6739. Beautiful 3 Bed/2 Bath Villa Hua Hin. Very close to city centre and beach. Fully furnished with Thai decor, A/C, full western kitchen, Plasma TV, DVD, stereo, and a swimming pool out the front french doors. Sleeps six comfortably. Available for rent by the day, week or month. Contact Craig by email, craigchapman@shaw.ca.

Room for rent in guesthouse. Room 4,000 baht a month. Great security system, finger print scanner, air conditioner in every room,water heater, TV (cable extra), fridge, wardrobe ,dressing table,large car park,laundry service,free high speed internet wifi, minimart, swimming pool. Off Soi 6, Ideal for the budget traveller. Contact tonymoorhouse@googlemail.com or call 0861 -776994 Comfortable studio apartment in the centre of Hua Hin in boutique condominium block. 5 mins walk from night market, 10 mins from city centre, shops, bars and nightlife and the beach. King sized bed, flat screen TV/DVD player and selection of films, balcony with table and chairs, air con, free Internet on communal computers in reception, large pool with sun beds, fitness room and sauna. 24 hour security and reception, car and motorbike parking. nickargles@yahoo.co.uk 0897 213 384 3br/3bath house brand new home. located on Palau road and intersection of highway 4. 10 kl. from town. small living room and kitchen. 1 bedroom you can change to den/computer room. Long term rental only at 5,000baht month. 2 year payment up front. 120,000baht. Unfurnished. Huge lot next door included perfect for garden with plenty of room for veggies and flowers. Home and lot enclosed with fence. Call 080 244 6739 brand new house 5kms from Hua Hin centre. Spanish style, fully new furnished - Summerland residence, 2 bedrooms with air, 2 baths, European kitchen, living room, cable TV, LCD TV. Private swimming pool, security. Available by weekend, week, month or long term. Contact franckphuket@hotmail.com

Wanted Wanted 2nd hand Iphone or Ipod. Looking for 2nd hand Iphone or Ipod, must be in good condition and working. If you wish to upgrade to a new one and sell your old one, please contact tony@layangardens.com. Basically I need a phone that has email capabilities and has wifi for internet. anything considered with the above two features. Looking to buy used restaurant equipment. Just starting so I need pretty much everything. I particularly need a Griddle, Slushy Machine, and Refrigerators. But if you have counters, chairs, tables, A bar, ect. please call. Albert 087 092 1614

Disclaimer: All articles are published in good faith and based on information available to us at publication, No responsibility is accepted other than that stipulated by law. Although the information in this publication has been obtained from sources believed to be reliable, AWOL cannot guarantee accuracy in all cases. Any opinions expressed are those of the contributor and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher. All materials copyright. All rights reserved and no part of this publication may be reproduced in part or in full without the previous written consent of the publisher. Neither can any part be stored in a retrieval situation, nor transmitted by electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or any other means. AWOL is printed by Petchpoom Printing, and we can be contacted on info@awolonline.net or 081 614 8728. Please send any other communications to Mrs Chukamol James, Managing Director, AWOL Co. Ltd., 136/229 Emerald Hill, Soi 6, Mooban Borfai, Hua Hin, Prachuap Kiri Khan, 77110, THAILAND. 17


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Across 9 Soft number - a negative (5) 10 Spur on our entry into English point competition, opening before time (9) 11 That which is behind (a car) (7) 13 Satisfied with what’s inside? (7) 14 I leave eerie Welsh setting for another place (9) 15 Get in gear! (5) 16 Relative gets £1,000 these days (7) 19 Parts of the body that one could eat, we hear (7) 22 A non-general number? (5) 24 A never-ending toughness of character takes men to debates (9) 26 Recipe which might come before one? (7) 27 Neither sharp nor flat (7) 30 Tell it in South America - easily first to the moon, say (9) 31 Sorcery displayed by mother, soldier and Common’s leader! (5) Down 1 Catch sight of Mark (4) The solution is on page 20. 2 Information from some bod at AOL (4) If you are interested in sponsoring this or any other 3 Came after silly little fool to get married! (8) section, please contact us on sales@awolonline.net or 4 Extent of qualification (6) call 081 649 8361. 5 Reportedly, I yell at cold stuff (3,5) 6 Turn in, embarassed without being destroyed (6) 7 Are we in France? It’s 50-50 - goodbye! (8) 8 Those looking into our traps? (8) 12 Monarch going straight? (5) RELIABLE, HONEST, 16 Hold figs wrongly for swimmer (8) TALENTED & HARD WORKING 17 Account of clergyman is precise (8) 18 A small drink above the top of the house, say, is CONSTRUCTION GANG spectacular! (8) 20 Former moments, i.e. not new, perhaps (8) FOUND IN HUA HIN. 21 Run from a minor actor! (5) ANY JOBS UNDERTAKEN, 23 Universal Dolly crashes, in a way that makes lots noise (6) ANYWHERE, FROM LEAKING of 25 Shot golden nugget, partly returning (6) PIPES TO COMPLETE HOUSES. 28 Starts to rely upon good stair-carpets (4) 29 Mad engine (4) Tel. 081 614 8728

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TA K E I T E A S Y AT

Sabai Bar

Relax with an ice cold beer and a friendly welcome from Noi and the girls Get updated on the local golf scene with Kevin Play pool with the many regulars

Open every day from 12 Noon‘Til Late

Find us at 5 Soi Selekam, Hua Hin - from the Hilton go north along Naresdamri Road, take the first left and then the first right, and we are 40 m along on the right

Contact us: Noi 086-174-6165 Kevin 089-913-7926 email kevinmilke@yahoo.co.uk Visit Myanmar - Play golf in the Golden Land Escorted CustomTours - Enquire within 18


All To

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Refurbishing your bar? Refitting a business?

Perfect Opportunity Land For Sale!

Tel. 081 614 8728 email: property@awolonline.net

2 million baht/ rai or offers.

Reliable, efficient workers available NOW!

5.3 Rai only 10 min walk from Black Mountain Golf Course. Sweeping mountain views, next to new road with electricity and water. Telephone 081 614 8728 or

email property@awolonline.net

Property Marketplace

If you are interested in these properties please email us on property@awolonline.net or call 081 614 8728 A modern classic right on the beach! Beachfront properties like this don’t come along too often, and this one in Sam Roi Yod also has its own private swimming pool, 24 hour security and comes tastefully fully furnished. Ref No.: HS0410202 4 Bed / 4 Bath Living: 375 sqm. Land: 1100 sqm

Sale price Was: 22 M

Now: 15.5 M A beautifully decorated and fully furnished house in Hua Hin with a sea view and a huge garden is now available at a much reduced price. Also within easy travelling distance from the Banyan Golf Club. Ref No.: HS0410196 Less than 10 min to the beach 2 Bed / 2 Bath Living: 190 sqm. Land: 1000 sqm

Sale price Was: 7.5 M

Now 5.4M!! 19


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LUCKY SHOT BAR

Hua Hin’s only pool bar with THREE 9’ tables Ask about our drinks specials and other special offers Contact Andy on 086 178 1550 27/3 Poolsuk Road, Hua Hin

Ball In Hand Brunswick Hua Hin & Khao Takiab Ladies League Results Week 1 11th October 2010 Bobbys Bangers 6 - 6 Bob and Nok’s Dara Bar 3 - 9 Thaiwaii Kom Hom 10 - 2 Sunset Boulevard Railway Tavern 8 - 4 Lord Webb Talk of the Town 7 - 5 Garden Bar 2 League Table Team Kom Hom Thaiwaii Railway T Talk / Town Bob & Nok’s Bobbys Bs Garden 2 Lord Webb Dara Bar Sunset B’d

P W D 1 1 0 1 1 0 1 1 0 1 1 0 1 0 1

L +/- Pts 0 8 2 0 6 2 0 4 2 0 2 2 0 0 1

1 1 1 1 1

0 1 1 1 1

0 0 0 0 0

1 0 0 0 0

0 -2 -4 -6 -8

1 0 0 0 0

Next Week’s Fixtures Week 2 18th October 2010 Bob and Nok’s v Dara Bar Sunset B’d v Railway Tavern Talk of the Town v Kom Hom Thaiwaii v Garden Bar 2 The Lord Webb v Bobbys Bangers

Check out the AWOL forum Join up and start a discussion about your league! www.awolonline.net/forum 20

Pool Leagues Hua Hin Pool Billiard League Results Matchday 8 8th October 2010 Curly’s Bar 6 - 2 Thaiwaii Bar Dick’s Office A 2 - 6 Lucky Shot A Eagle A 5 - 3 JW Black JW Red 4 - 4 Play Sports Lounge Lucky Shot B 7 - 1 Return Bar Oasis 5 - 3 Sunset Boulevard Sugar Cane 3 - 5 Eagle B Talk Of The Town 6 - 2 Dick’s B League Table Team Eagle A Oasis Eagle B Lucky Sh A Play Sports JW Red JW Black Sunset B’d Talk / Town Lucky Sh B Sugar Cane Thaiwaii Curly’s Bar Dick’s B Return Bar Dick’s A

P W D 8 6 2 8 6 2 8 5 2 8 5 1 8 4 2 8 3 4 8 3 3 8 3 3 8 3 2 8 2 3 8 2 3 8 2 3 8 2 0 8 1 1 8 1 0 8 0 1

L 0 0 1 2 2 1 2 2 3 3 3 3 6 6 7 7

+/26 20 22 12 6 0 10 4 0 2 0 -2 -18 -24 -32 -26

Pts 14 14 12 11 10 10 9 9 8 7 7 7 4 3 2 1

This Week’s Fixtures Matchday 9 15th October 2010 Dick’s Office B v Curly’s Bar Eagle B v JW Red JW Black v Return Bar Lucky Shot A v Oasis Play Sports v Talk Of The Town Sugar Cane v Lucky Shot B Sunset Boulevard v Eagle A Thaiwaii Bar v Dick’s Office A Next Week’s Fixtures Matchday 10 22nd October 2010 Curly’s Bar v Play Sports Lounge Dick’s Office A v Dick’s Office B Eagle A v Lucky Shot A JW Red v Sugar Cane Lucky Shot B v JW Black Oasis v Thaiwaii Bar Return Bar v Sunset Boulevard Talk Of The Town v Eagle B

Dick’s Office

Bar/restaurant open daily Best Sunday Roasts now with NZ Lamb every week, extensive menu, good music, pool & darts competitions, big screen projector for live sports, Nintendo Wii, quiz nights, parties and more! Located on Soi 80 (Sarawat) Tel: 089-046 9505, 085-930 7232 email: huahindick@hotmail.com

2010 Poppy Appeal

Donation boxes are located at:

Hua Hin Ham Bacon & Meat Co. - Soi 41 The Buffalo Tavern, corner Chomsin/Naresdami Road El Murphy’s Hotel, Soi Selakam at ‘Little 5 points’ ‘Punchline Comedy Club’, Hot Property Dechanuchit Road (until 14/10) Angel Eyes, Poolsuk Road If you are interested in helping with the annual appeal please contact Clive on 080 096 1190

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Pool Leagues

Ball In Hand Hua Hin Pool League Results Week 2 13th October 2010 Eagle Bar 10 - 2 Jub Jub Bar Talk of the Town 7 - 5 Sunset B’d Thaiwaii 5 - 7 Play Sports Lounge The Lord Webb 7 - 5 Oasis Bar The White Swan 5 - 7 Garden Bar 2 League Table Team Eagle Bar Play Sports Lord Webb Sunset B’d Oasis Bar Garden 2 Talk / Town Thaiwaii White Swan Jub Jub

P W D 2 2 0 2 2 0 2 2 0 2 1 0 2 1 0 2 1 0 2 1 0 2 0 0 2 0 0 2 0 0

L +/- Pts 0 14 4 0 10 4 0 6 4 1 4 2 1 0 2 1 -4 2 1 -6 2 2 -4 0 2 -8 0 2 -12 0

brought to you by Lucky Shot Bar Hua Hin Social Pool League Results Week 2 13th October 2010 Green Division Blue Division Billy’s Babes v Jungle Juice B n/a JW Red 15 - 4 U-Turn Int/l B’fly Bar v King Ladies n/a Jungle Juice A 12 - 7 Billys King Bar Men v Lazy Daze B n/a Mai Tai 10 - 9 JW Black Lazy Daze A v TNT Bar n/a PP 12 - 7 Headrock Limelight v London Bar n/a Red Bar 12 - 7 Sabai Blue Division League Table

Green Division League Table

Team JW Red PP Red Bar Jungle Juice A Sabai Mai Tai JW Black Headrock Billys U-Turn

Team Jungle Juice B Limelight Lazy Daze A TNT Bar King Bar Men Int/l Butterfly London Bar Lazy Daze B King Ladies Billy’s Babes

P W L +/- Pts 2 2 0 20 4 2 2 0 14 4 2 2 0 10 4 2 2 0 8 4 2 1 1 -2 2 2 1 1 -8 2 2 0 2 -4 0 2 0 2 -8 0 2 0 2 -10 0 2 0 2 -20 0

P W L +/- Pts 2 2 0 12 4 2 2 0 10 4 2 2 0 6 4 2 1 1 2 2 2 1 1 -2 2 0 0 0 0 0 1 0 1 -3 0 2 0 2 -4 0 1 0 1 -7 0 2 0 2 -14 0

Next Week’s Fixtures Week 3 20th October 2010 Jub Jub Bar v Garden Bar 2 Oasis Bar v Eagle Bar Play Sports Lounge v Lord Webb Sunset Boulevard v Thaiwaii Talk of the Town v The White Swan Mr Dan’s Hua Hin 9-Ball League Results Week 11 11th October 2010 Dicks A 9 - 16 Dolphin Eagle Bar 2 18 - 5 Dicks B Kom Hom v Eagle Bar n/a Play Sports 17 - 10 Mr Dan A

Next Week’s Fixtures Week 3 20th October 2010 Green Division Blue Division Jungle Juice B v Lazy Daze A Billys v PP Lazy Daze B v Int’l Butterfly Bar Headrock v JW Red London Bar v Billy’s Babes JW Black v Red Bar TNT Bar v King Bar Men Sabai v Jungle Juice A U-Turn v Mai Tai Khao Takiab & Hua Hin Fun Mr Dan’s Hua Hin 8-Ball League Pool League Results Results Week 2 13th October 2010 Week 12 13th October 2010 Beer O’Clock Club 10 - 8 Beach Hut Boapa’s Place 2 - 10 Komhom Bob & Noks 9 - 9 Railway Tavern MrDanA 10 - 2 DicksB Bobby’s Bar 10 - 8 Dizzy Dolphin DicksA v Eagle Bar n/a CAT House 5 - 13 Dara Bar Play Sports v Maria Bar n/a

League Table

League Table

Team Eagle Bar 2 Dolphin Kom Hom Mr Dan A Play Sports Dicks A Eagle Bar Dicks B

P 11 11 10 11 9 10 10 10

W 9 8 5 5 4 3 3 2

D 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 0

L 1 3 4 6 4 6 7 8

+/70 43 6 -12 17 -35 -18 -71

Pts 19 16 11 10 9 7 6 4

Next Week’s Fixtures Week 12 18th October 2010 Dicks A v Eagle Bar Eagle Bar 2 v Dolphin Mr Dan A v Dicks B Play Sports Lounge v Kom Hom

Team Komhom Eagle Bar Boapa’s MrDanA DicksA Play Sports DicksB Maria Bar

P 12 11 12 12 11 11 12 11

League Table W 10 9 8 3 3 2 2 1

D 0 2 1 4 2 3 2 2

L 2 0 3 5 6 6 8 8

+/40 38 16 0 -20 -12 -34 -28

Pts 20 20 17 10 8 7 6 4

Next Week’s Fixtures Week 13 20th October 2010 DicksB v Boapa’s Place Eagle Bar v Maria Bar Komhom v DicksA MrDanA v Play Sports Lounge

Team Dara Bar Railway T Dizzy Dolph Bobby’s Bar Beer O’Clck Bob & Noks Beach Hut CAT House

P W D 2 2 0 2 1 1 2 1 0 2 1 0 2 1 0 1 0 1 2 0 0 1 0 0

L +/- Pts 0 10 4 0 8 3 1 2 2 1 0 2 1 -6 2 0 0 1 2 -6 0 1 -8 0

Next Week’s Fixtures Week 3 20th October 2010 Beach Hut Bar v Bobby’s Bar Dara Bar v Bob & Noks Dizzy Dolphin v Beer O’Clock Club Railway Tavern v CAT House 21

Blame

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Darts Leagues

on the oche with

Results 12/10/2010 Division 1 CAT A 3 - 15 Scandic Bar A JW Red 13 - 5 Lazy Daze Lucky Shot 8 - 10 JW Black Paradise v Jungle Juice n/a Thaiwaii 10 - 8 CAT House Division 1 League Table

Division 2 CAT Jiggapik 3 - 15 Sabai Bar Dick’s Office A 2 - 16 Play Sports Jaew Bar 15 - 3 Dick’s Office B Kom Hom 10 - 8 Scandic Bar B Scandic C 12 - 6 Kom Hom Ladies Division 2 League Table

Team Scandic A JW Black JW Red Paradise Jungl Juice CAT A Thaiwaii Lucky Shot Lazy Daze CAT House

Team Scandic B Sabai Bar Scandic C KH Ladies Dick’s B Kom Hom Jaew Bar Dick’s A Play Sports CAT Jiggap

P W D 7 6 0 7 5 0 7 5 0 6 4 0 6 3 1 6 3 0 7 2 1 6 2 0 7 0 2 7 1 0

L 1 2 2 2 2 3 4 4 5 6

+/- Pts 62 12 30 10 30 10 34 8 8 7 -2 6 -38 5 -26 4 -32 2 -66 2

Fixtures 19/10/2010 Division 1 CAT House v JW Red JW Black v Jungle Juice Lazy Daze v CAT A Lucky Shot v Thaiwaii Scandic Bar A v Paradise

P 5 5 7 6 5 5 7 5 4 5

W 4 4 4 3 3 2 2 2 1 0

L 0 1 3 2 2 2 5 3 3 4

+/- Pts 44 9 20 8 -14 8 -4 7 6 6 4 5 -2 4 -6 4 -24 2 -24 1

Division 2 Dick’s Office A v Scandic Bar C Jaew Bar v CAT Jiggapik Kom Hom v Dick’s Office B Scandic Bar B v Sabai Bar

Hua Hin Golf Society

Results: 12th October - Palm Hills Throw out competition 1st Nung Cheaunil 39pts. 2nd Steven Bailey 36pts. 3rd Robert Laminit 34pts. 4th Timo Ripatti 33 pts. 5th Pailin Humphrey 33pts. 6th Fritz Schroeder 33pts. Near pin No. 3 Peter Dunne. No. 8 Ben amelsvoort. No. 11 Mike Humphrey. No. 15 Richard Denyer. 8th October - Black Mountain. Medal A Group 18 entrants: 1st Timo Ripatti 6hcp 68 net. 2nd Peter Good 18hcp 74net. 3rd Joe Sims 4hcp 77 net. Stableford B group 6 entrants: 1st David Buchan 23hcp 33pts. 2nd Tum 36hcp 33pts. Near pin No. 3 Wij Wijesena. No. 11 Ulf Sparvman. Next week’s fixtures: Tue 19th Lake View A/B Annual Matchplay/ Stableford Fri 22nd Dragon Hills Monthly Medal/ Stableford

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D 1 0 0 1 0 1 0 0 0 1

For all your darts supplies 087 155 7737

10% OFF FOR DARTS LEAGUE PLAYERS

Individuals Top 10 Division 1 1 Mark JW Red 2 Cop Scandic Bar A 3 Golf Scandic Bar A 4 Dick Paradise 5 Dicky JW Black 6 Oil Jungle Juice 7 Boy Thaiwaii 8 Ball CAT A 9 Rune Scandic Bar A 10 Steve Paradise

148 139 137 129 123 120 115 105 102 86

Top 6 Division 2 1 Jim Dick’s Office B 2 Stue Scandic Bar B 3 Ankana Scandic Bar C 4 Jaew Jaew Bar 5 Poo Jaew Bar 6 Daeng Scandic Bar B

112 108 108 96 93 87

Butterfly Rock Golf

Results: October 13th Lake View AB - 3 man texas scramble 9 teams entered High Medium & Low handicaps 1st P Williams (2) M Lord (11) H Lewis 23, 2nd M Batt-Rawden (7) D Rawlings (16) J Fridberg (18), 3rd C Miller (5) G Ross (15) J Anstee (22) October 11th Lake View AB - medal 23 players 1st Geoff Batt-Rawden (7) nett 65, 2nd Alan Rawson (14) nett 69, 3rd Craig Miller (5) nett 69 October 10th Lake View AB stableford 17 players 1st - John Anstee (23) - 39pts, 2nd - Reto Vorburger (7) - 38pts, 3rd - Geoff Batt-Reawden (7) - 36pts October 10th Palm Hills - stableford 16 players front 9 - Don Bayley back 9 - Don Bayley, Jim Lynch overall - Don Bayley Forthcoming Fixtures Mon Oct 18th Stableford & Skins at Lake View CD from 10am Wed Oct 20th Stableford at Palm Hills from 10am Friday Oct 22nd - Palm Hills

Balloon Chasers extra! Dizzy Dolphin Friday 22nd October from 7pm Birthday Bash with Entertainment and buffet


Premier League News

kicked off by

155 Bobby’s Bar 087 7737 or

Fixtures and Predictions (all times Thailand) Saturday, 16 October 2010 Arsenal v Birmingham, 21:00 The Gunners have been scoring a lot of goals at home and we don’t expect much different here - home win. Bolton v Stoke, 21:00 On paper an unattractive fixture but there will be plenty of endeavour that we think will end in a draw. Fulham v Tottenham, 21:00 Draw specialists Fulham will once again look to stymie their opposition and we think these two injury hit sides will draw. Man Utd v West Brom, 21:00 Surprise package West Brom will be hoping to get something from this game but we can’t see them succeeding - home win. Newcastle v Wigan, 21:00 Wigan have been pretty tight on the road so we have a horrible feeling this will be a goalless draw. Wolves v West Ham, 21:00 The bottom two battle it out and it will be an interesting game, with the Hammers likely to counter attack at speed after being battered for long periods. Away win. Aston Villa v Chelsea, 23:30 Villa have been solid at home but this will be a big test for them; there will probably be only one goal in it and we are predicting Villa to get it. Sunday, 17 October 2010 Everton v Liverpool, 19:30 What a moment for the Merseyside derby, as Liverpool reel from crisis

Premier League Table Team P GD Pts 1 Chelsea 7 21 18 2 Man City 7 6 14 3 Man Utd 7 7 13 4 Arsenal 7 7 11 5 Tottenham 7 2 11 6 West Brom 7 -3 11 7 Stoke 7 -1 10 8 Aston Villa 7 -3 10 9 Blackpool 7 -4 10 10 Fulham 7 1 9 11 Sunderland 7 0 8 12 Bolton 7 -1 8 13 Blackburn 7 -1 8 14 Wigan 7 -9 8 15 Newcastle 7 0 7 16 Birmingham 7 -3 7 17 Everton 7 -1 6 18 Liverpool 7 -4 6 19 Wolverhampton 7 -5 5 20 West Ham 7 -9 5

085 817 3642 032 534448

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Open everyday 9am - 11pm

International & Thai Food

Swiss specials - Jagerschnitzel (170฿) & Zueri Geschnetzelel (190 ฿) S O I 5 6

CANAL ROAD

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to crisis, and both clubs in the bottom four; we expect stirring stuff and an away win.. Blackpool v Man City, 22:00 A surprisingly tricky match to predict after some great results for the home side. However City, we think, have the quality to win. Tuesday, 19 October 2010 Blackburn v Sunderland, 02:00 This will be a real thriller, end to end stuff with loads of goals...NOT! Our money is on a dull draw.

And Restaurant

089 985 7473

Darts,Pool, All Day Breakfasts Soi 102, Hua Hin (200m on right after railway)

Fantasy League & I Know The Score AWOL Challenge Top 10 Team TW Tot 1 LOST CAFE 45 384 2 mongkolmuppets 33 378 3 Beeblebrox 41 374 4 Mr ChaAming 52 366 5 Tahitian Queen 38 364 6 Hua Hin United 49 362 7 Event Horizon FC 35 356 8 play it again 60 345 9 Sorco United 45 334 10 Pride Of Africa 49 331

1 2 3 4 5

AWOL Pundits Top 5 Player Tot TW sfirish 285 -50 tonyh29 245 +95 lostcafe 235 +105 awol99 160 -65 triplepeel 110 +50

You can still join both these leagues and still have a chance to win. Just email us on info@awolonline.net or visit www.awolonline.net/forum for details.

The first farang establishment in Borfai Now with new Pool table European and Thai food Kjøttkaker og Lapskaus Oil massage ฿2oo Open from 11am 085 425 1185 (Pa)

Garden bar and restaurant

23

Anyway

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Montenegro not even a real place, claims FA

Hopes rise for a win to be awarded to England instead

london, england ENGLAND’S football chiefs have declared last night’s 0-0 draw null and void after failing to find Montenegro in their 1959 Atlas Of The World. They have called on UEFA to investigate where last night’s team actually came from, amidst fears of a repeat of last year’s calamitous tour of SuperMarioLand. An FA spokesman said: “This is all a ruse by a collection of Eastern European countries to make us look like a bunch of tits. “’Montenegro’ doesn’t sound remotely like a real country. It sounds like a Dick Emery character they’d never get away with on television any more.” Suspicions were first raised when team manager Zlato Kranjcar was unable to confirm the correct term for somebody from Montenegro, alternating between ‘Montenegrecians’ and ‘Monte-’N’-words’. The flag given to Wembley staff

and free kicks. He added: “We were unprepared and did not know whether to insult their food, their weather or their implied institutional homosexuality. We were also expecting them all to be black. It will be much easier in our next game against the sheep-raping dwarves.” The makers of Gefürtstänner Export will be understandably furious appeared to be the crest from a bottle of German beer and the CD of the national anthem, entitled ‘Oj Svijetla Majska Zoro’, later turned out to be a Polish copy of the soundtrack to the 1998 film The Mask Of Zorro. Fabio Capello also feels that England struggled to overpower their opposition as the players were unaware of what racial slurs to mutter at them during corners

“Did I just say ‘sheep-raping dwarves’?”

“The local establishment with local prices” Be served by the hostesses with the mostest!

Happy Hour Every Day from 3 - 7pm

Excellent Thai & Western food Cajun/Louisiana style & Nightly Specials Our regulars recommend the BBQ Spare Ribs & the King Pork Chops

Thai & International Satellite channels Pool Table, Darts

To find us, travel north on the canal road past the traffic lights and turn left at the bridge after the petrol station and right immediately over it. We are on the right. Tel. 032-522 418, 083-317-3008 12/10 Soi Samoprong, Hua Hin 24

AWOL Issue 101  

Free weekly newspaper for the Hua Hin area in Thailand

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