TIPS FOR MAKING MOTHERHOOD PRACTICAL
EMBRACING YOUR POST-BABY BODY
FALL 2023
RECONNECTING WITHYOUR PARTNER AFTER BABY
INSTILLING INDEPENDENCE WITH AGE-APPROPRIATE CHORES
by Joel Santos
JANEE THOMAS // 13
MAKING MOTHERHOOD EASIER // 16
FINDING HOPE: NAVIGATING POSTPARTUM DEPRESSION // 20
LORENA // 24
CHRISTINE DAVIS // 28
INSTILLING INDEPENDENCE: A GUIDE TO AGE-APPROPRIATE CHORES FOR KIDS // 31
ELAYNA FERNÁNDEZ // 35
ANGELA WEBBER // 39
RECONNECTING WITH PARTNER AFTER BABY // 42
EMBRACING YOUR NEW MOM BOD: HOW TO FEEL CONFIDENT IN YOUR POST-BABY BODY // 47 ADVICE // 49
Hello and welcome to A Mother of Colour Magazine where we uplift and inspire the everyday and extraordinary mother. My name is Victoria Targblor "Mitzy" and I'm your CEO and Editor-In-Chief. This magazine seeks to highlight and unite mothers of different backgrounds and cultures across the globe. I am so proud to present to you our fall issue. Here's to you and cheers to us!
Xoxo,
Mitzyby Muhammad-taha Ibrahim
“No matter how far we go, our parents are always in us.”
- Brad Meltzer
Janee Thomas was born and raised in Asheville NC. Growing up in a not so stable household of a single parent mother who was in and out of the system, and a father who decided not to be around she was raised by her grandmother. She is the oldest of three kids so making sure they were okay was her number one goal. Her church family was a big support in making sure she finished school and was able to travel and participate in outreach ministries. One ministry that is close to her heart is women and children shelters because it allows her to build relationships with children who were living in shelters due to domestic violence situations. Her passion is working with children and being able to provide them a safe and fun atmosphere to learn in while they are away from their families. At the age of 20, she had her first child but continued her education. She got married 5 years later. In 2016 she decided to move down to Jacksonville Florida where her husband’s family resides. As of today, she has completed her Associates degree in Early Childhood Education from Ohio State University. She is also a full-time Toddler Teacher. Looking forward, she wants to pursue her director's credentials and to continue her education in Early Childhood while also taking some time for some unapologetic self-care time!
Motherhood is one of the most challenging yet rewarding journeys one can embark on. Parenting requires a lot of hard work and dedication, and the journey can often be overwhelming. However, being practical in our approach to motherhood can help make parenting more manageable. In this article, we’ll explore how practicality can make the experience of motherhood easier and more enjoyable.
Practicality is important because it helps to prioritize what is most relevant and needed over things that can wait. Everything doesn't need to be put on the "To Do List" for today. Being practical helps to take off the pressure of doing everything all at once. Having a plan with steps can help you also to alleviate mental stress by creating tangible goals that you can feel good about accomplishing.
Simple solutions include taking out a sheet of paper and listing all of your responsibilities that need to be completed. From there, circle all of the things that must be completed today. Perhaps you can underline things that also need to be completed soon (within a week)-leaving things that need to be done past this week untouched. Use your underlined and circled items to create a new list where one side includes the items circled and on the other side the underlined items. Using that list will help you to then work toward checking off the circled items and then working towards the underlined ones. Having a clear visual is the best way to sort out complexity and overwhelm.
Make sure to have an organized life. It doesn't have to be perfect but in some sort of order. For example, make sure the toys are in the kid's room. Make sure clothes are in the hampers if not clean. Organizing your home can help you to feel like you have more control of your life.
Have some time, even if it's 15 minutes a day where you can pray, meditate, and gather your thoughts. Having time to stop and recharge is important. If you are a new mom, do so during nap times.
Have the kids help out with age-appropriate chores. For example, if they are toddlers an excellent skill is teaching them to clean up by putting away their toys in a bin or dressing themselves with clothes that are already laid out and ready to go.
When possible ask for help when you need it. Sometimes this can be tricky without the support of family and spouses. But if you have a friend willing to come over and hold the baby just to allow you to take an hour's nap, accept that support!
“Behind every young child who believes in [themselves] is a parent who believed first.”
- Matthew Jacobson
Postpartum depression (PPD) is a serious mental health condition that affects up to 20% of mothers after giving birth. It can be an overwhelming experience for new mothers, making it difficult to find hope in the midst of such a challenging time. In this article, we will look at different ways of navigating through postpartum depression and finding hope. We will explore the causes of PPD, ways to manage the symptoms, and how to find support during this difficult period.
Postpartum Depression (PPD) as mentioned is a serious condition that reaches far past the temporary "baby blues" of those shortly after giving birth. Those who have a past history of experiencing depression are at a greater risk for it and need to be aware that their depression can significantly increase during this time. It can derive from a chemical imbalance in the body and brain that can be soothed by medication and/or therapy.
Signs of PPD as mentioned by Mayo Clinic may include:
● Depressed mood or severe mood swings
● Crying too much
● Difficulty bonding with your baby
● Withdrawing from family and friends
● Loss of appetite or eating much more than usual
● Inability to sleep, called insomnia, or sleeping too much
● Overwhelming tiredness or loss of energy
● Less interest and pleasure in activities you used to enjoy
● Intense irritability and anger
● Fear that you're not a good mother
● Hopelessness
● Feelings of worthlessness, shame, guilt or inadequacy
● Reduced ability to think clearly, concentrate or make decisions
● Restlessness
● Severe anxiety and panic attacks
● Thoughts of harming yourself or your baby
● Recurring thoughts of death or suicide
*Untreated, postpartum depression may last for many months or longer.
Help will look different for everyone dependent on their unique situation. Some methods can include support groups, and therapy (some helpful and affordable options include Betterhelp and Open Path Collective), as well as, antidepressants (another affordable option is via Plushcare for affordable visits and medication).
Professional Help for PPD
“A mother understands what a child does not say.”
Lorena loves working with moms in her community of Charleston, SC. Her work includes providing a nurturing and supportive birthing process for mamas through their journey of fertility, pregnancy, labor, birth and postpartum. Some additional services that she provides includes nutritional counseling, prenatal yoga, emotional, psychosocial, & perinatal support, and physical pain management. She even offers at-home birth options for families with birth pool rentals. Lorena strongly believes that the traditional hospital birthing process takes away from the natural experience. She is here to help with all your needs along your birthing journey so that all families can have a positive and supportive experience.
Website: anaturalmindedmama.com
Instagram: (@anaturalmindeddoula)
“Parenthood…it’s about guiding the next generation, and forgiving the last.”
- Peter Krause
Christine Davis is an extraordinary busy working mom wife! Her mission is to share all aspects of her family journey (the good, the bad, the ugly). She strongly believes that in order to inspire others to live life to the fullest one must promote self care and remember that they are not alone in their struggles and suffering.
Christine has a background of Business Administration with a specialization in Textiles and Clothing. She is a self-proclaimed millennial who is energetic, transparent, and the life of the party. Her passions include food, wine, shopping, and spending time with her family and loved ones.
Website: christineandthefword.com
Instagram: (@christineandthefword)
Parenting is an incredible journey full of highs and lows, rewards and challenges. One of the most important things you can do as a parent is to instill independence in your children. As your kids grow up, teaching them age-appropriate chores is one of the best parenting tips you can provide for your kids. In this article, we'll discuss why age-appropriate chores are essential, as well as tips for setting up a chore system that works for your family. Read on to discover the many benefits of giving your children age-appropriate chores and how to make it work.
Assigning chores helps to take the pressure of doing everything in your house by yourself. Also, it teaches your kids independence in that they can also take care of a household. In doing so, you develop a sense of confidence and accomplishment.
Age-appropriate chore guidelines for children under 5
Some chores for your little ones under the age of five include:
Putting their toys away, filling up a cat or dog's food bowl, placing clothing in the hamper, wiping up spills, dusting or wiping baseboards with a sock on their hand, piling up books and magazines on shelves or tables, helping load the washer and dryer, or mopping small areas with a dry mop.
(Child Development Institute)
Age-appropriate chore guidelines for children 6-9 years old
Some additional chores for your 6-9 year old include:
Putting their toys away, filling up a cat or dog's food bowl, placing clothing in the hamper, wiping up spills, dusting or wiping baseboards with a sock on their hand, piling up books and magazines on shelves or tables, or helping load the washer and dryer mopping small areas with a dry mop.
Age-appropriate chore guidelines for teenagers
Don't leave the teens out! They can lend a hand by:
● Cleaning the kitchen
● Assisting with meal preparation and clean-up
● Doing the dishes, including loading and unloading the dishwasher and putting dishes away or washing and drying the dishes in the sink
● Cleaning high-traffic areas like driveways such as snow/leaves
● Feeding and walking the pets
● Taking out the trash/recycling and take the trash cans to the curb on garbage day
● Bringing in and sorting through the mail
● Assisting with meal planning and grocery shopping
● Babysitting younger sibling
(For Modern Kids)
“While we try to teach our children all about life, our children teach us what life is all about.”
- Angela Schwindt.
Elayna is a Storyteller and Story Strategist for mothers worldwide. She has dedicated her life to helping mothers through being her transparent, authentic, and vulnerable self. As a Story Strategist, she teaches others how to turn their story into profitable blogs, books, and courses. She teaches the “millionaire mom mindset,” which encompasses walking moms through breaking painful cycles in order to create positive and long-lasting breakthroughs! Through sharing her stories and strategies, she helps moms to unearth their true sense of royalty and is intentional about teaching them to help their kids live a life of joy and freedom.
Website: thepostivemom.com
“There is no such thing as a perfect parent, so be a real one.”
- Sue Atkins
Angela Webber is described by many as a sweetheart, and loving mom to her adorable children. She loves to document her journey of travel and adventure with her family. Whether splashing in the pool or playing with their pet, Webber and her five kids will melt your heart and encourage you to live life to the fullest! She is a busy mama, dedicating her life to providing thoughtful content for her community . She often shares products and toys that help that make make family time feel easy and effortless. She encourages all moms to be kind to themselves and to ask for help when feeling overwhelmed. She has learned throughout her journey that self-care is essential and to do so through everyday actions such as taking a long relaxing bath or checking in with a therapist when needed.
Email: ournameisfamily@gmail.com
Instagram: (@ournameisfamily)
For new moms, the first few months after having a baby can be filled with joy and excitement but also challenge and exhaustion. It can be difficult to juggle the demands of parenting and find time to reconnect with your partner. That’s why it’s important to make sure you prioritize your relationship and take the time to nurture it even in the midst of the chaos. In this article, I will offer some helpful parenting advice and relationship advice on how to reconnect with your partner after having a baby.
It's important to rekindle the love you experience before baby. Keeping in touch with your partner creates more peace and support in the home while going through the adjustment phase. Furthermore, it feels good to be in a good place intimately with your partner and every mother deserves to feel loved and adored!
● Challenges that may come up at this time may include:
● Finding time for romance
● Having the energy for romance and pleasure in the bedroom
● Feeling "touch out" and not wanting to be held due to all the changes in your body
● Not feeling sexy and confident with your body after baby
Some solutions include having scheduled dates. If someone in the family can babysit for an hour every now and then, take those opportunities as well. Moreover, make your schedule for talks and intimate time around the baby's nap schedule. Creating a routine is the key to making time to reconnect.
Be gentle with your partner when expressing your feelings, when upset take a deep breath and think about what you want to say and how they are likely to respond. If upset and tired, delay discussions until you are in a better mood to effectively communicate.
During baby's nap time make things easy and intimate like ordering food and having a candle-lit dinner. Also, taking baths/showers together not only saves time but gives a moment to reconnect as well. Another great idea is to take walks as a family with baby in the stroller and use it as an opportunity to have difficult conversations.
Coping with Challenges: Strategies for Overcoming Stress and Conflict
Communicate with your partner your expectations of support so that you do not get overwhelmed and burnt out. For example, your partner can take care of the baby while you have a spa day or to the nail salon once a week.
“Parents were the only ones obligated to love you; from the rest of the world you had to earn it.”
– Ann Brashares
“The best inheritance a parent can give their children is a few minutes of their time each day.”
- O. A. Battista
As a new mom, you may be struggling with the changes in your body after having a baby. From the stretch marks to the extra pounds, it can be hard to feel confident in your new mom bod. Don't worry, because you're not alone. Here, we'll discuss how to embrace your post-baby body and feel confident in your new mom self. So, let's dive into the tips and tricks on how to love your body for what it is!
Your body has gone through a lot to create life and all of it is completely normal. Your mid-section can take time to adjust, especially in the case of a c-section. Wearing a supportive belt after birth may help with the healing and support as well. Otherwise, be gentle. You have done something sacred and celebratory. Stretch marks are a sign of honor and grace that your body has shaped itself to support and take care of baby. Do not focus on losing weight especially if you recently had your little one. Instead, focus on recovering and feeling good.
If you want to work out start light. Maybe a short walk and workout videos while the baby sleeps. Also, taking baby out with the stroller is a great way to get some steps in for the day. Wear clothes that make you feel comfortable and confident. Stretchable fabric is ideal because it allows to you have a shape but doesn't suppress your body for fitting.
Eat vegetables and meals that are healthy and easily accessible. For instance, healthy tv dinners or take-out could really help you to eat well. Remember to check in with your healthcare provider and to take your multivitamins/supplements and to drink plenty of water because your body has been depleted throughout this pregnancy process.
Wear clothes that show off the parts of your body that you love. If there is an area that you don't like so much find clothing that distracts from that area. For example, if you are self-conscious about your midsection wear more dresses or tops that are flared.
Mama, please be gentle with yourself. You are doing your very best and your best may look different everyday. Some days your best maybe surviving the day with a newborn and others will be making it through a rough day at work. However it may look, your effort and fatigue is valid. Keep being intentional and work towards at least one goal a week (even if it’s something small like filling out one job application). As long as you are moving, never feel bad about your speed no matter how slow. Remember who won the race, it was the tortoise, not the hare.
xoxo, Mitzy
