z 40 ROCK Quarterly Magazine Issue No. 2
WHAT TO DO AFTER THE “I DO’s” ARE YOU LOVING YOURSELF ENOUGH?
+ THE BEST
KIM BURRELL ON HOW LIFE GETS BETTER IN YOUR 40z
MEDICINE FOR YOUR HEART
EATING TO LIVE
N D! E M RL O O W E EW L IB TH D E ED R NC OCK I 7 R O H W
CONTENTS / Issue No. 2
ON THE COVER Kim Burrell Rocking Her 40’z With NO REGRETS!
37 Who Rock the World? 38 “She’s Probably a
Gold Digger.” Really? We need to have this converation, guys.
42 The Best Medicine for Your Heart
44 Meet Phyllis Burton
40z Rock Ms. March
46 My Mouth Has Me in a Mess!
48 Am I Dating Men or Technology?
50 Heal Thyself 52 5 Steps to Achieving Your Hearts Desire
54 Quotes 2
In Each Issue 4
6 Must-Haves: Editor’s #1 Top Picks
8 Healthy Living: Vol. 1, Eating to Live
Fresh Spring Recipe for the New Season
Things to Do in Your Free Time
14 Q&A With Mia: Let’s Get it (W) Right!
16 Beauty: Stopping the Clock with Botox
20 Fashion: Fashion Crash Course
22 Fab Finds: 2014 Haute Spring Shoes for Any Budget
24 Spirituality: Hearing from God Are You Listening?
26 Relationships: Are You Loving Yourself Enough to Make Someone Love You?
28 Effective Parenting: Sticks and Stones
30 Finance: Ensuring Your Wedding Dreams Come True – What to do after the “I do’s”
T ravel Regroup. Recharge. Renew. Relax.
40zROCK / Editor's Letter
Look in Your Inner Mirror Quoting Plato, the great philosopher from Greece said “Beauty is certainly a soft, smooth, slippery thing, and therefore of a nature which easily slips in and permeates our souls. As I look at the environment we live in, I am amazed at how often outer beauty is given so much applause. In our society, youth is considered beautiful . As we mature and add a few lines to our faces and a few inches to our waist lines, our own perception of how we look changes and sometimes can affect us emotionally. We are judged and we judge, we put our daughters , sisters and friends through some treacherous paths all in the name of beauty. As Plato said it is a slippery thing if one focuses on just the physical aspect of beauty. Physical beauty has also been associated with arrogance, big egos and a lack of empathy for our fellow human being. As 2014 beings, I want to challenge each of us to take a look in the mirror…not the one on our bathroom walls, but the one that allows us to reflect our souls. Call it a maintenance check in this journey called life. Are we truly beautiful reflecting love and radiating kindness or are we a creation of two hours in front of the mirror. I recall meeting a young lady that was not your typical beauty queen : and yet when I left her presence I felt that I had met one of the most beautiful women just because the energy around her was full of love and giving. “ We are spiritual beings having a human experience.” - Pierre Teilhard de Chardin . Let’s spend as much on the inside as we do on the outside and make this a better place . I will close with a quote from Helen Keller who knew no physical beauty because of her physical restrictions and yet she understood what true beauty is : “The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched - they must be felt with the heart. “
Sandra A. Wyckoff Editor-in-Chief
Follow 40zROCK /
40zROCK Sandra Wyckoff Editor-in-Chief
Assistant Managing Editor
Samantha Reeves Fisher Rhonda M. Anderson Kim Evans Lawson Michelle Wade Ann Inez Hardell Emile Brown (page 4) Kevin Jeffries SMG ( cover + page 34) Lamik Cosmetics
Tiffiny E. Dixon Fashion: Fashion Week Crash Course
Mena Freeman She's Probably a "Gold Digger." Really? We need to have this conversation, guys.
Jaquetta Garrison 5 Steps to Achieving Your Hearts Desire Tezzie Gilbert Am I Dating Men or Technology? Kimberly Handy Beauty: Stopping the Clock With Botox Cheri Alphonse Hayes, ED.S Effective Parenting: Sticks and Stones
Danielle Johnson Healthy Living: Vol. 1 – Eat to Live
tephanie D. Mckenzie S Relationships: Are You Loving Youself Enough to Make Someone Love You?
Jacquie Parish Travel: Regroup. Recharge. Renew. Relax. Kim Burrell – Rocking Her 40z With No Regrets! Heal Thyself
Jeneé Pierre The Best Medicine For Your Heart
Wendie Rice Spirituality: Hearing from God – Are You Listening?
Tammy Smithers Finance: Ensuring Your Wedding Dreams Come True – What to do after the "I do's" Merneen Spearman My Mouth Has Me In A Mess! Mia Wright Q&A With Mia: Getting It (W)Right!
40zROCK / MUST-HAVES Gigi Cupcakes
EOS (Evolution of Smooth)
Bourbon cake with pecans and chocolate chips, a cream cheese frosting with pecans and chocolate chips drizzled in caramel and ganache´. Located in 22 states. Approx $3.00.
Egg shaped 100% natural lip balms. $6.35 each
Michael Kors Rose Gold BaguetteBenzel Watch This chunky chronograph watch features a baguette crystal topring to add a little sparkle to the rose gold wrist candy. $295.00
Prada Candy Add a little sweetness to your fragrance collection with Prada Candy. $82.00
Darling Greatly, Author, Bren'e Brown. “When we spend our lives waiting until we’re perfect or bulletproof before we walk into the arena, we ultimately sacrifice relationships and opportunities that may not be recoverable, we squander our precious time, and we turn our backs on our gifts, those unique contributions that only we can make,”
40zROCK / HEALTHY LIVING
[ VOL. 1 ]
Eating to Live by Danielle Johnson
Nothing sparks a more spirited debate between girlfriends like the “highs and lows” of relationships and the “peaks and valleys” of DIETING…or in this case “Weight Management”…whichever term you prefer! I was enjoying a fun-filled Saturday afternoon with a couple of girlfriends over libations and appetizers…just shooting the breeze when we finally arrived at the topic of Weight Management! Actually, the conversation was jump started by two outsiders in suits promoting their “nutraceutical” line whose many benefits included, of course…weight loss!
We began to share some of our concerns
being said, this is Healthy Living Vol. 1:
tein), regular exercise…then you know
regarding this very sensitive subject,
You Truly Are What You Eat!
what to expect…that’s right, “SWOLLEN
especially since we’re not as young as we
When choosing to eat “healthy” it
FAT CELLS!” Just in case you were won-
used to be (but STILL only as old as we
can be an easy decision to make because
dering where these cells “swell up and
feel, lol). Our metabolisms have slowed
we understand the benefits of doing
park”, check out the nearest waistline
down a bit, the daily demands from
so, but such an overwhelming task to
first and continue south!!
our families and careers have become
implement. Most people think they
increasingly more challenging, and we
have to abruptly overhaul their pantries,
still have to make time to give back to
refrigerators, desk drawers at work, and
our churches and communities. Now
other secret snack places that family
that was a very high level overview, but
and friends know nothing about…NOT
take a moment to reflect upon your own
TRUE! That would be ideal if one could,
lives…what does your schedule look
but just like anything else that you’re
like!?!? How do you manage to get it all
just attempting for the first, second OR
done?!?!? But most importantly, do you
even the third or fourth time, you must
ever ponder the thought…”What if you
be mentally prepared to do so. There-
weren’t healthy enough to get ANY of it
fore, when starting out or over, take
done?!?! Then what?!?! I’m asking these
small incremental steps to increase your
diet one step at a time it is ABSOLUTELY
questions because I can’t stress enough
chances of a successful implementation
imperative to examine your portion size
the importance of understanding that
and reduce the risks of discouragement
as well. There’s a plethora of data to sug-
we are more than our weight!! The scale
if you fall off track occasionally.
gest that no matter how you serve the
is neither our friend nor enemy…it’s
A person’s weight is determined by
food- whether it’s in a cup, a bowl, or on
simply a tool to assist us in managing
the rate at which you store energy from
a plate…the more food that you have in
the foods that you eat, and the rate at
front of you, the more food you will eat
which you use that energy. Studies have
which in turn will increase your caloric
part of the equation to creating and
shown that it takes approximately 3500
intake. It is recommended that women
maintaining a healthy lifestyle. There are
calories to lose one pound of weight. If
between the ages of 40-50 have a daily
several steps that need to be considered
your goal is to lose one pound a week
caloric intake of 1800-2200 calories;
and then incorporated into your daily
then you need to cut your caloric intake
based on activity levels, muscle mass,
routine when it comes to living a health-
by 500 calories each day. The simple sci-
and a variety of other factors.
ier, happier life. Not only is what we
ence behind this phenomenon is that as
choose to “feed/fuel” our temples impor-
your body breaks down fat, the number
“better”, there will always be a few habits
tant, but committing to a moderate level
of fat cells remains the same; each cell
that you have to break…or at least set
of exercise 3-4 times a week is equally
just simply shrinks. So, now consider the
up boundaries. You don’t want to feel
vital. Getting the proper amount of rest
reverse! If you’re not making the neces-
deprived or restricted because if you
and reducing stress levels will only help
sary lifestyle modifications of eating a
do your mindset will begin to shift and
to support your efforts of achieving and
balanced diet (appropriate amounts of
getting healthy will become more of a
maintaining a healthier “YOU!” With that
carbohydrates, nutritional fats, and pro-
hassle than a lifelong commitment.
Weight management is only one
ADJUST YOUR DIET TO INCLUDE:
an abundance of fruits and vegetables, especially the green leafy veggies
whole grains instead of refined white flour
eat lean proteins, including skinless
poultry (grilled or baked), fish, eggs, and beans
fat-free and low-fat dairy, such as Greek yogurt, cheese, and milk Now that you’re revamping your
When implementing change for the
THINGS TO CONSIDER:
what it is you’re eating during the day
divided by 2 and whatever the number
Partake in dessert BUT in moderation Limit your alcohol consumption,
and night so that you stay on track with
is, drink that many ounces of water a day.
your goal. There are countless apps such
It’s important to note that if you have
as MyFitnessPal and LiveStrong.com to
an intensive workout regimen or simply
Replace unhealthy saturated and
help keep you focused on your weight
sweat a lot, you may need more than the
just empty calories
trans fat with nutritional fats that will help to lower cholesterol and allow you to enjoy your food
Hydration is another necessary
The journey to achieving and
Limit sugar intake Monitor salt intake
factor in the equation when it comes
maintaining a healthy weight is not an
to weight management. Fat burning is
easy one…especially the older you get
a metabolic process that requires fluid
but it’s not insurmountable. It’s impor-
intake. Not only does water help you to
tant to surround yourself with positive
weight, it’s essential that you eat regu-
slim you down. By drinking a glass of
people that respect the journey you’re
larly throughout the day- no skipping
water before each meal, you can drasti-
on and only want to see you succeed
meals or starving yourself. Never go
cally reduce your caloric intake because
in your quest to live a long and healthy
more than 4-5 hours without food. That
you won’t feel as hungry once your food
life. Reduce as many stressors in your
is not the answer for true and sustain-
arrives! Dehydration can make you feel
life as possible. Set realistic goals for
able weight loss. It’s a good rule of
fatigued. Water serves as a “pick me up”
yourself based on your mental and
thumb to divide your food intake into
and it does so by helping your blood
physical abilities. Have discussions with
three meals and a snack or eat as many
flow better to deliver oxygen and other
your physician or nutritionist and design
as 4-6 small meals a day. Make sure
critical nutrients to your body cells.
a plan that will work for YOU!! There
When attempting to manage your
that you eat a well balanced breakfast every morning. The word “breakfast” lets you know that you’re doing exactly that…”breaking your fast” from the night
are more diet plans circulating and pills OTHER BENEFITS YOU RECEIVE BY STAYING HYDRATED ARE:
Decreases kidney stones. Water
before. Numerous studies have shown
dilutes salts and minerals that fuse together to form painful crystals
that people who skip breakfast tend to
Helps with digestion. Waste particles dissolve better with water and more easily passes through the digestive tract.
be more overweight when compared to those who do not. By eating a well balanced breakfast in the morning,
Trims and tones muscles. Reduces
muscle cramping, lubricates the joints, and • increases exercise time.
you decrease the hunger cravings that you experience throughout the day. Breakfast will also help to increase your
Helps to flush toxins out of the skin.
Improve circulation and ensures that your skin remains supple.
metabolism so that you have the energy to complete your daily tasks, not to mention, help you get to that 3500 calorie
mark quicker!! Lastly, it’s a great idea to
drinking 8-8oz glasses of water a day or
keep a food diary so that you can track
you can take simply take your weight
Generally, nutritionists recommend
on the shelves than I care to count all guaranteeing astronomical weight loss without making the necessary lifestyle modifications. Some may work initially but if you’re looking for lasting results, YOU have to commit to a long-term lifestyle change that requires a shift in your mindset, a desire to break old, unhealthy habits, and a willingness to adopt new behaviors that will catapult you into living and managing the healthy life that you are called to live!
40zROCK / FOOD
FRESH SPRING RECIPE FOR THE NEW SEASON Is anyone else happy that the spring season is here? We can hopefully say goodbye to harsh temps and hello to sunshine and warmer weather. Should you be feeling the vibes of the new season, show your love by whipping up something the whole family can enjoy.
SIMPLE SHRIMP AND GUACAMOLE TOSTADAS
Heat the oil in a medium skillet over
Preheat oven to 350.
medium high. Sear the shrimp on one
Lightly coat both sides of the corn
side for 2 minutes; flip and sear 30 more
6 corn tortillas
tortillas with cooking spray. Bake for 4
seconds. Remove from pan. To the pan,
minutes on each side. Switch oven to
add the sliced red bell pepper. Saute
broil. Evenly divide the cheese over the
for 2 minutes, scraping the browned
tortillas and broil until cheese is melted
bits from the pan, seasoning the pep-
and bubbly, 2-ish minutes. Remove from
pers. Sprinkle in a leetle salt. Spoon the
heat and set aside.
guacamole over each cheesy tostada,
2 cups grated cheddar cheese 2 avocados /2 cup chopped cilantro, plus more for garnish 1
juice from 1 lime 2 Tbs. extra virgin olive oil 1 pound shrimp, peeled and deveined
In a small bowl, combine the avocados,
1 Tbs ground cumin
cilantro, lime juice and a pinch of kosher
2 Tbs chili powder
salt. Mash up with a fork until you get
1 tsp crushed red or green pepper
guacamole. Go ahead and eat a few bites
1 tsp garlic salt 1 red bell pepper, cut into small slices
for your well being. Toss the shrimp with the cumin, chili powder, crushed pepper flakes and garlic salt.
followed by shrimp and red bell pepper. Garnish each tostado with cilantro and give another good squeeze of lime juice over each one. ď€ś
ENTERTAINMENT / 40zROCK THINGS TO DO WITH YOUR FREE TIME
APRIL / HOUSTON
April 4-13 WorldFest:
Houston International Film Festival
Come out to The AMC Studio 30 at Dunvale and enjoy feature films, shorts, screenplays, TV commercials, music videos and documentaries. $8—$500
ouston Barbecue Festival H This annual fun event brings a full day of barbecue. Reliant Park, 1–5 p.m.
April 12 Japan Festival Come out and celebrate the rich cultural heritage of Japan at Hermann Park’s Japanese Garden. 10 a.m.
MAY / ATLANTA May 4
Celebrate Latino culture and Cinco de Mayo with Mexican folk dancing, arts and crafts, 5K run/walk and authentic Latin-American foods at Centennial Olympic Park. Free event. Cinco de Mayo Lake Lanier Islands Resort is hosting a big event on the beach with food vendors, Mexican folk dancers and music.
Taste of the Nation
Enjoy gourmet food, fine wine and beer, cocktails, local music and a silent auction at the Georgia Aquarium.
Sweet Auburn SpringFest
Enjoy family fun, food and entertainment on Auburn Avenue.
JUNE / NEW YORK June 7-8
Art by the Ferry
Staten Island Ferry, Staten Island, NY. Art by the Ferry transforms St. George into a gallery that showcases Staten Island's diverse arts community. The Festival includes gallery exhibits, outdoor performances and family workshops.
Aretha Franklin at Radio City Music Hall
Manhattan. A 17-time Grammy winner, Kennedy Center honoree and the first woman to be inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, Aretha Franklin is more than just an American musical icon—she’s a force of nature. Appearing as part of the Blue Note Jazz Festival, Franklin will show off the legendary vocal range.
American Black Film Festival
SVA Theater, Manhattan. This is the first year that New York City plays host to the American Black Film Festival, which shines a spotlight on independent narrative, documentary and short films by and about African-Americans. abff.com
40zROCK / Q&A With Mia
Let's Get It (W)right! Mia inspires people to embrace spiritual change and live fulfilling lives. Here, she answers your questions.
Q I have been dating this guy for the past year. Early in the relationship, he lost his job. He claims to be working on opening his own business. He is behind on child support, constantly asking me for gas and has the nerve to have women calling him on a cell phone I pay for. His response to any conversation I try to have with him is "that's what's wrong with women, you'll don't want to stick by your man". I want to know at what point is it ok to just move on and not feel guilty about it?
A Relationships will have their ups and downs. You have to be willing to go through the bad times in order to enjoy the good times. If we run from every relationship when something goes wrong, like a job loss, we will spend our lives seeking the perfect, but inexistent, relationship. However, there are several things wrong with this scenario. These stand out most – he is behind on his child support and women are calling him on a cell phone that you pay for. You apparently do not feel comfortable with this situation, or you would not have asked the question. I have no problem supporting a man who is in the process of building his dream, but the reality is that he must build his dream while
?'s / 14
taking care of his business. If he needs a business partner to invest in his dream, then you should present that to him and get it in writing. Otherwise, you are crippling him as a man. If you are to remain in this relationship, then you are signing up to be his sponsor until his financial situation changes. The truth is that you already know what you are comfortable with and you just need to courage to stick with your convictions.
Q Can you give me some advice on being single, sexy and saved?
A Single, sexy and saved…sometimes seems like a contradiction, but sexy is not necessarily exuding sexual appeal to others. I believe sexiness is an inner confidence and security in knowing yourself that becomes very appealing to others. Singleness is characterized solely by the fact that you aren’t married – whether by desire or not, it is simply defined. Salvation is from a conscious decision to have a relationship with God. My advice to women who are single, sexy and saved is to live your life! Enjoy this time and place in life and without regrets for not being in the other position. Explore, visit, make changes, etc. while enjoying your single life! Stay sexy and saved at the same time!
Mia Wright Co-Paster & Motivational Speaker
Q I have been married for 2 years. My husband travels a lot with his job, so, he eats out a lot. I have frequently had conversations with him regarding his weight gain. I have suggested exercising together, eating healthier meals etc. All of my suggestions seem to fall on death ears. I am concerned because I find myself having no desire to be intimate with him because of the weight. Hope this doesn't sound shallow, but I figured you can Help Me get it Right!
A Physical attraction is part of a healthy relationship. Physical fitness, or having a nice body, is often an indicator of a persons health. You should be concerned if your spouse has significant weight gain or loss, as there may exist another underlying condition. In the case of what you stated, lifestyle modifications are needed to get back to healthy. Your suggestions of exercising together and
you have some life pressing questions you need to get answers to? Ask Mia and get it (W)right! Do Email: email@example.com / Twitter.com/40zrock / Facebook.com/40zrock
eating healthier meals are good ones. It is unfortunate that they have fallen on deaf ears. I would question, how did you ask? Framing a question is as important as the question itself. When a person is off physically, they are aware of it. They need to feel supported and loved, no matter what. Getting your husband to join you at the gym may be difficult, but a romantic walk in the park may seem far more appealing. Saying lets eat healthier is different from preparing a healthy dinner and letting him know that there’s no need to stop for fast food. Perhaps think abut how you are presenting the options
to him, and try again. Whatever you do, don’t nag him nor make fun of him. Once he opens up to a healthier lifestyle, you can be supportive by helping him to understand meals and eating out while he is traveling.
Q What is the earliest life event that was instrumental in shaping your life?
A While I was in elementary, my mom and step dad had a bitter divorce. I remember being outside playing and a man who worked for the water company stopped in our yard. When I asked him
what was he doing, he told me that the home owner requested that the water would be shut off. Knowing this wasn’t the case, I asked him to wait and let me call my mother because there had to be a mix up. I think it was at that time in life when I determined that I wouldn’t allow anyone else to be responsible for paying my bills. It seems simple, maybe irrelevant for someone, however for me, it was a life changing moment. I began to pay attention to the financial needs in our home, helping when and where I could. I worked my first job at 12 years old and never stopped working.
LOOKING TO BUY, RENT OR SELL IN NYC?
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LYNETTE CAPERS-BELL Licensed Real Estate Salesperson 114 Perry Street, New York, NY 10014 M: 347.992.3131 firstname.lastname@example.org All information is from sources deemed reliable but is subject to errors, omissions, or withdrawal without notice. No representation is made as to accuracy of any description. Equal Housing Opportunity. Owned and operated by NRT LLC. If your property is currently listed with another real estate broker please disregard this offer. It is not our intention to solicit the offerings of other real estate brokers. We cooperate with them fully.
40zROCK / BEAUTY
STOPPING THE CLOCK WITH BOTOX by Kimberly Handy
No one wants to look older than
The Botulinum toxin or Botulism (food
procedure for the temporary treatment
they are. In fact, there are many women (and men) who will resort to somewhat extreme measures to appear younger looking. One of the trendiest procedures to achieving a younger looking appearance is Botox injections. Doctors have been using Botox for years to successfully treat wrinkles and fine lines around
poisoning) toxin was first discovered
of forehead wrinkles. Dermatologists in
in the 1820s after several people ate
Hollywood and all over the world took
improperly prepared sausage result-
note and Botox sales soared. With new
ing in their death. This same toxin has
uses of Botox quickly being discovered
been the subject of germ warfare during
and FDA approvals continuing to roll in,
World War II and was considered to be
sales reached $310 million by the end
the deadliest substance in the world at
of 2001. By the end of 2006 sales passed
the time. Of course this piqued the inter-
the $1 billion mark.
the eyes, forehead and mouth area.
est of scientist. In 1953 it was discovered that injecting small amounts of the toxin into overactive muscles caused them to temporarily relax. In the 1960s animal testing was done and it was determined that the botulinum toxin was safe and useful in the treatment of muscle spasms, crossed eyes, eye twitching, facial spasms, cerebral palsy and even those who suffered from extreme underarm sweating.
Therapeutic use of the neurotoxin
was approved by the FDA in 1978 and used in human volunteers for the first
This makes the wrinkles relax and soften. Botox is most often used on forehead lines, crow’s feet (lines around the eyes), and frown lines in between the eyebrows. How long does it take before you see results? It generally takes three to seven days to see full results. The results typically last four to six months as normal muscle action returns and wrinkles begin to
and the name was officially changed to
Are Botox injections painful?
In 1992 a study of the use of Botox was published in the Journal of Dermatologic Surgery and Oncology stating Botox injections was a simple and safe 40ZROCK.COM
muscles. The injected muscle can’t contract.
of Botox were discovered.
Botox blocks signals from the nerves to the
time in 1980 primarily for facial spasms Botox. As research continued new uses
How does Botox work?
No. Getting Botox takes only a few minutes and doesn’t require anesthesia. Botox is injected with a fine needle into specific muscles with only minor discomfort similar to a bee sting.
Are there any side effects?
ance if it is for cosmetic purposes to get
The “frozen face” look is probably one
rid of lines and wrinkles. Always check
of the most visible side effects of Botox
with your doctor and your insurance
injections. Numerous concerns have
company for coverage details.
also been raised over the training and at malls and spas.
What age group of women are most likely to get Botox for cosmetic purposes?
The majority of women who use Botox
technique of those who give injections Temporary bruising is the most com-
mon side effect. You may also experience
start after age 35. However, some women
headaches which should not last more
are starting much earlier in life in their
than one or two days.
twenties to delay the onset of wrinkles.
A small percentage of patients may
Natural Alternatives to Botox Hyaluronic Acid - naturally
occurs in human skin. When applied to skin it helps the skin to retain moisture and creates a firmer, plump appearance. Retinol - a derivative of vitamin A, this is the only vitamin that has been proven to reprogram damaged skin cells.
Where can I get Botox injections?
It’s used to correct age spots,
The safest place and most controlled
it’s an anti-oxidant, it stimu-
environment would be your doctor’s of-
lates the layer of skin where
bing causes the Botox to move around.
fice. However, Botox services can now be
collagen and elastin are stored,
found in gyms, malls, spas and at birth-
it boosts collagen production
How much does it cost to get Botox injections?
day parties. It became a common theme
while slowing down the natural
with TV makeover shows. But proceed
breakdown of collagen as we
with caution. Its popularity (and some-
age. This results in a smooth,
times high price tag) inspired a number
firm skin surface and better
of knockoffs and “faux-tox” became a
favorite of scam artists. Many women
Alpha Hydroxy Acids (AHAs)
are now receiving Botox injections for
- used to exfoliate the outer
Valentine’s Day, birthdays, anniversaries
layer of the skin, these acids
and divorce parties.
include glycolic acid, lactic acid
develop a droopy eyelid if you rub the injected area around the eye within 12 hours of receiving the injection. This rub-
The cost of Botox injections varies widely depending on where you live. It will cost more if you live in California, New York, Las Vegas or Atlanta vs Texas, Arizona or Florida. Depending on how many areas of the face you want treated you could expect to pay anywhere from $250 - $1500. Just getting the injection around your eyes will not cost as much
as getting injections around your mouth,
mediate results, you will see results over
forehead and eyes.
time with the use of natural alternatives.
Final thoughts - It’s clear that medical
It also depends on if the procedure
While Botox will give you more im-
is for cosmetic or medical reasons such
research confirms that Botox offers a
as cerebral palsy, excessive underarm
quick solution to erasing one of the most
sweating, chronic neck pains, multiple
natural signs of aging; wrinkles and fine
sclerosis, fibromyalgia, extreme joint
lines. Celebrities have embraced the
pain and muscle cramps.
Botox movement for years and we often
Is Botox covered by insurance? Typically Botox is not covered by insur-
see the benefits as well as the horrors of their decision to have Botox injections. We’ve all seen the “frozen face” look and
and citric acid. They remove dead skin cells.
wonder, will that ever go away? We’ve also heard that this is addictive for some and the gateway to plastic surgery. In our continued quest for the “fountain of youth” the perception of what is beautiful and acceptable continues to be a hot topic of conversation. Stay fabulous stay beautiful!
Live at Aloft Every 3rd Friday Live at Aloft Hotels Sip on specialty cocktails, munch on a snack-attack menu and listen to cool tunes. Rock out with live acoustic performances by the hottest, emerging artists or get your groove on with eclectic beats from sassy dj mixes.
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40zROCK / FASHION
FASHION WEEK CRASH COURSE by Tiffiny Dixon
The who, what, why, when and how it affects you and your personal style. If you’ve ever walked into a store that sells clothing, fashion week is absolutely about you, more specifically your wallet. This is the event that dictates the season’s hottest trends. Looks and interpretations of things we see on the runway will pop in stores all day from Bergdorf Goodman all the way to Forever 21.
news, what trends are hot off the runway
The most important thing to make note
of here is that Fashion Week is invitation
THE AFTER PARTIES
only where design houses are eager to share their latest collection.
WHO ATTENDS Buyers – who they want to place orders on designs and carry them in their respective stores. Stylists & Celebrities – if a stylist puts the right piece on the right celebrity this affects their bottom (dollar) line greatly.
While only A-Listers of the fashion industry are allowed behind Fashion Week’s velvet rope, the after party scene is a little more all-inclusive. In fact the after party scene is a great place for emerging fashion industry professionals; designers, hair stylist, make-up artists, stylists, models, managers, writers etc.
Just about every design house will
have some sort of celebration and you
Reporters – They let us fashionistas
never know who might show up so dont
know, via magazine, blog or traditional
worry if you cant get into the most cov-
2 Ways to Get An Invitation Year after year the number of fashion bloggers invited to fashion week is increasing. Here is how fashionistas just like you are gaining access to the show:
1. V isit the official Mercedes
FROM THE RUNWAY to
Benz Fashion Week website and registering as a member of the press. So get your fashion blog in tip top shape and make sure you have a clear voice to increase
Go ahead and indulge in Fashion Week... it's about you and your fashion dollars anyway!
eted parties. Network your way to the
weeks include; Miami, Berlin, Russia,
2. N etwork your way in.
parties you really want to attend
Australia & Istanbul.
and par lay that into an official fashion
London – Edgy/Avant Garde – Organ-
WHAT IS FASHION WEEK?
Milan – Over the top looks – Owned by
A series of trade shows presented as
Camera Nazionale della Moda Italiana
fashion shows happening in multiple
Fashion ( The National Chamber for
Attend conferences; join women’s organizations attend industry parties. Look to make connections with designers & publicists, whom you can reach out to directly and
cities where designers present their
All Fashion Weeks were not created
ized by the British Fashion Capital.
WHY DOES IT EXIST?
equally. The most prominent & industry
The first fashion ever was held in 1943
WHEN DOES IT BEGIN? END?
recognized fashion weeks are hosted
and was the brainchild of fashion pub-
Fashion week should actually be called
by the four major fashion capitals of the
licist Eleanor Lambert. Originally called
world, each showcasing a different genre
‘Press Week’ Lambert created the event
to distract attention away from French
tions New York kicks things off in February
fashion during World War II. Gaining cov-
followed by London then Milan and Paris
erage from Vogue, who until this time
wraps things up in March. The same
featured predominantly French design-
pattern repeats for the Spring/Summer
ers if not solely. The first fashion week
Fashion Week, beginning in September
was held in New York City.
and ending in October.
Paris – Haute Couture, governed by the French Fashion Federation. New York – Sportswear – produced by IMG as “Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week” other Mercedes Benz sponsored fashion
For the Autumn/Winter season collec-
40zROCK / FAB FINDS
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In 2004, Manley joined a national residential real estate firm’s office in The Woodlands and specialized in the high-end market. He sold more than $120 million dollars in four years and was recognized as the office’s top producer every year. Manley chose to join Martha Turner Properties in 2009 where his already successful career achieved new heights.
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Welcome Home marthaturner.com
40zROCK / SPIRITUALITY
Hearing From God ARE YOU LISTENING? by Wendie Rice
It appears that technology today is as essential as breathing. Everywhere you turn people’s mobile devices such as cell phones, computers, and ipads have practically become an extension of the individual. Without these modes of technology, we can’t connect with others effectively. We feel lost and out of touch with what’s going on in the world, and we lose the efficiency that we’ve grown accustomed to in this fast paced society.
One of the biggest phenoms in the
own house, businessmen and women,
appeal, unless you actually have them
world of technology are the studio
athletes and celebrities “rockin” the
on, they are rendered….powerless.
quality audio and fashion combined
“beats by Dre,” if not some other high-
headphones that everyone seems to be
end branded portable sound booth.
desire to hear from God and receive His
sporting. Everywhere you look you can
Despite the powerful sound quality and
direction and power in our life affects us
find someone, from the teens in your
the power of its fashion forward brand
when we don’t have our spiritual head-
This reminds me of just how our
phones on. If we seek to hear from God,
for direction, we ultimately arrive safely,
God and keep it!” (Luke 11:28) If we are
we must make sure that we are listening.
timely, and somewhat smoothly where
listening and we hear from God, yet do
“Give ear and come to me; listen, that
we are trying to go. Also, if we make
not act on what He says, then it’s as if
you may live……” (Isaiah 55:3)
a wrong turn in life, God’s Positioning
we weren’t listening at all. Yes, it’s scary
System can “recalculate” our route. Are
sometimes, and the road uncertain, but
us to hear what He has to say. We as His
you listening? “And your ears shall hear a
that’s where faith and trust come into
children can live our lives according to
word behind you, saying, ‘This is the way,
play. If you sincerely want to do His will
His perfect plan and will for us if we just
walk in it,’ when you turn to the right or
and you’ve asked and you’ve heard…..
“put on” and “tune in” to the very thing
the left.” (Isaiah 30:21)
more than likely it is God guiding you in
that provides us with the clear sounds of
the right direction. “If any of you lacks
God’s voice…His word. God also speaks
through other channels as well. Not only
wisdom, let him ask God, who gives
to us through other channels, yet His
does He speak to us through His word,
generously to all without reproach, and
word gives us the purest version of the
but through other Godly people, circum-
it will be given him.” (James1:5) We must
message He wants to convey. “So faith
stances, dreams, that “still small voice,”
comes by hearing, and hearing by the
an inner peace….or lack of peace. But if
word of God.” (Rom.10:17) As we turn to
it’s not through His word, how can we be
who diligently seek Him, when we listen
God for answers and direction, we must
sure it is God speaking and not our own
to Him, hear Him, then obey Him, we
ask ourselves…are we really listening?
desires, judgments, or
can know that in whatever He tells us,
That is, are we reading God’s word? Are
fears playing a part? It’s hard to be 100%
He truly has our best interest at heart
we spending time in His presence, or are
sure, but if we exercise our faith in God
because of His love for us. He has good
we only receiving the faintest notion of
and lend ourselves to Him and the
things in store for us. “I will take my
what we think we hear from the “beats”
things of Him, we can trust that what we
stand at my watch post and station
headset, or our bibles, laying over there
hear is indeed from Him.
myself on the tower, and look out to see
on the dresser?
what he will say to me, and what I will
and in John 5:30, Jesus said that “I can
answer concerning my complaint. And
Bible as another form of useful technol-
do nothing on my own. As I hear, I judge,
the Lord answered me: ‘Write the vision;
ogy that we can’t seem to live without
and my judgment is just, because I seek
make it plain on tablets, so he may run
today…, our GPS or navigational sys-
not my own will, but the will of Him who
who reads it.” (Habakkuk 2:1-2)
tems. Instead of the Global Positioning
sent me.” But the key to hearing God,
System as it’s abbreviation represents,
even when we are listening, is to actually
this pastor called the Bible, God’s Posi-
do what He says. “But He said, ‘Blessed
tioning System. As we look to the Bible
rather are those who hear the word of
God wants to speak to us. He wants
I heard a pastor one time refer to the
As I mentioned, God will speak to us
He says, “My sheep hear my voice,”
And as God is a rewarder of those
40zROCK / RELATIONSHIPS
Are You Loving Yourself Enough to Make Someone Love You? It hurts when someone doesn’t love us back. Many of us have tried and tried to receive the love that we’ve given willingly and enthusiastically only to draw the conclusion that our love is indeed unrequited. There is a love that we have to address if we ever hope to be happy, and that’s how we love ourselves.
Believe it or not, you may be the reason why the love you seek has yet to find you. This statement is not intended to make you feel badly, but it is intended to make you think. When you love yourself, you become empowered. You have an energy that makes people want to be in your presence. Additionally, when we love ourselves, we set standards for ourselves and expect people to not only meet, but exceed them. If you’ve ever settled, accepted anyone’s nonsense, given passes when you
should’ve been kicking a**es, then you have been guilty of not loving yourself. Make no mistake, I have done it, too. In fact, it cost me 10 years of my life, and it’s a key reason that I became a relationship coach. Many times, we avoid conflicts and situations in relationships because we don’t to seem overbearing or domineering. But, understand that asserting your needs, and expectations is a huge part of communicating what you think about yourself. If you never speak up for yourself, then it tells your significant other what they should think about you. It also shows them what you think of yourself. Light bulbs go off….right…about… NOW! By the way, this concept also holds true for friends, relatives and co-workers. Every relationship in your life is governed by the high (or not so high opinion) that you have of yourself. I am not saying that you should become an arrogant prick, but I am saying that you should take a look at yourself and really fall in love with the person that you are.
by Stephanie D. McKenzie Author of The Business of Dating
Coach Steph has been featured on Yahoo.com, galtime.com, yourtango. com, WVON Chicago, LATalk Radio, WSEV Los Angeles and in Shape Magazine, to name a few. Recently, she facilitated a tele-seminar for relationship powerhouse, eHarmony.com.
REALLY! Now, if you need a little help, you can learn how to be a rockstar with me. In fact, I hope you will come and hang out with me because I am ready to show you just how much you rock! Even if you don’t believe it right now. Of course, if you do believe it, there’s nothing like hearing it again–and I am more than happy to oblige. In conclusion, loving yourself is not simply an option, but it’s a mandate. How do you know when you’re loving yourself enough to make someone love you? When you know (emphasis on “know”) that you deserve the best and you refuse to accept anything less under any circumstances...and no matter how hot he or she may be!
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40zROCK / EFFECTIVE PARENTING
STICKS&STONES Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me! As a child, how many times did you recite this old saying that you actually began to believe it? If you didn’t grow up saying it, maybe it was a comforting message your parents shared after an argument with someone or experiencing bullying at school or on the playground. Now you’re all grown up, are you sharing the same message with your children?
by Cheri Alphonse Hayes, ED.S.
Bullying has taken on a very different
look in the 21 century. It is not always
front you to make your life miserable.
blatant and in your face. Technology has
Cyberspace has given them a place to
helped in taking bullying to a whole new
hide and also find a larger audience
level. In addition to the verbal, physi-
than they would amongst their friends.
cal, social and emotional abuse bullies
Recently on Facebook, I noticed an
impart on their victims, they are also
acquaintance of mine posted a picture
creating very unpleasant experiences
of a young lady and asked his audience
through social media, the internet, and
to sum her up, based on her looks. There
texting. This includes and is not limited
were many comments degrading the
to ugly conversations in chat rooms,
young lady as she was helpless and not
posting inappropriate pictures without
even part of the group so she could de-
the person’s knowledge or permission,
fend herself. So I decided to take a stand
humiliating others while playing online
for her as I too could be in the same
games, instant message or texting, and
position and would want someone to
creating webpages specifically to humili-
understand there’s more to me than the
ate an individual.
physical appearance they are being ex-
Today’s bully does not need to con-
E.R.A.S.E (Expect Respect, And a Safe Education) Bullying reports posed to. My response to the photo was,
“Beautiful in her own skin!” then I went
There is no Federal anti-bullying law.
on to comment about how in this day
Although 49 states have anti-bullying
and age, as adults, how can we be doing
legislation, bullying is not illegal (http://
this for entertainment. This young lady is
someone’s daughter, sister, niece, grand-
facts/). Statistics reveal every seven
child, and so on… My voice was quickly
minutes a child is bullied; one out of
diminished as the owner of the page
four children are prone to bullying; and
deleted and/or blocked me from viewing
one out of five adults, have admitted to
his page and making further comments.
being a bully. Believe it or not, children
I wasn’t offended. I just laughed and felt
are exposed to violence at schools more
great that I had an opportunity to stand
than any other place they frequent. Fur-
up for someone. Would I do it again?
thermore, when children are bullied 85%
YES! If those are my “friends,” I rather
of these cases go without intervention,
11% with adult intervention and peers,
FOOD FOR THOUGHT Is your child a bully? How do you know? Here are some of the obvious behaviors to look for in determining whether or not your child is a bully: Does your child have issues with people in authority? Do you ever hear them speaking negatively about other children while trying to convince their friends to get onboard with the same notion? Does s/he force others to do things they may not want to do? Is your child violent with others and always says, “We’re just playing!” These are only a few and the more obvious characteristics of bullies. Regardless of the fact that some of these behaviors are modeled to children right in their own homes, bullies cannot be ignored and they need to be stopped. The repercussions of being bullied are serious
4%. Children are scared to go to the school’s bathroom alone for fear of being bullied. Is your child being bullied? How do you know?
Whether bullying affects you directly
Common Effects of Bullying to Watch For: 1. D epression (including sadness, loss of interest in activities)
2. A nxiety (tenseness, fear and worries)
3. Loss of self-esteem 4. I ncreased levels of aggressive behavior
5. H ealth problems like headaches, stomach aches
or indirectly, we all share the respon-
6. Loneliness and social anxiety
sibility in keeping our children safe.
7. Missing school
Bullies are a menace to children and later “sometimes” become a menace to society. As adults, 11% intervention in bullying is just not enough to help those who cannot help themselves. Although
8. S ocial withdrawal and isolation
9. S uicidal thoughts, or suicide (in the most extreme cases)
stressors are a natural part of our existence and children will experience all sorts of challenges in life. It is still up to us to equip them with strategies, coping skills, and defensive mechanisms which will allow them to deal with what life has to offer in this sometimes cold world.
and sometimes life-threatening. 40ZROCK.COM
40zROCK / FINANCES
ENSURING YOUR WEDDING DREAMS COME TRUE What to do after the “I do’s” by Tammy E. Smithers, MBA
Getting married at any age can
rare few who may be uniting in holy
responsibilities that you and your spouse
be stressful. Young couples in their
matrimony for the first time. In either
will confront. Taking care of certain
twenties mainly have the idealistic view
scenario, the truth remains there are
financial matters early can help you start
of marriage and the happily ever after.
some very important things to consider
your married life on the right foot.
Couples in their thirties may tend to
when undergoing a merger.
be somewhat more stable with both
careers established and a hopefully a
are decisions to make, compromises to
Weddings can be expensive. When
little money stashed away in savings.
reach, and families to bring together.
you and your spouse return from your
Many couples marrying in their forties
With all the excitement and joy of
honeymoon, sit down and discuss a
may be looking at second or even third
an upcoming wedding, it can be
plan to pay off any remaining expenses
marriages. However, there are those
easy to overlook the many financial
Marriage changes things. There
WEDDING AND HONEYMOON EXPENSES
for your wedding. Try to pick a clear timeframe and stick with it. CHANGING BENEFICIARIES and/or other retirement and investment plans. Then, check the accuracy of the information and update your contact card beneficiary information if necessary. BANK ACCOUNTS You and your spouse may choose to consolidate your finances. Review the terms of your existing bank accounts. Should you keep them? Close them? Open a joint account at the same bank? These are all questions you should bear in mind when planning your new life together. HEALTH AND AUTO INSURANCE Assess your existing health and auto insurance. In many cases, obtaining joint coverage will save you and your spouse a significant amount of money.
insurance. In addition, you may want to
need for life insurance. Make sure both
extend coverage to the wedding gifts
you and your spouse have appropriate
you received, and for your engagement
and wedding rings.
In preparing for your financial future
STUDENT LOANS AND CREDIT CARD DEBTS Assess how much money you and your
spouse owe. Consolidating assets can
If you or your spouse plan to change a
also mean consolidating liabilities. Plan
last name, make sure it’s done on your
a budget to manage any debts you and
credit cards, tax forms, driver’s license,
your spouse may have.
passport, Social Security card, voter registration card, as well as on bank accounts and insurance policies.
MORTGAGES AND OTHER LOANS Always make sure you’ve saved enough so that your mortgage, car payments,
as a married couple, you will have to reevaluate some old things, prepare for some new things, and maybe even return a few borrowed things. But, being proactive about your finances may help you avoid dealing with money-related wedding blues.
This educational third-party article is provided as a courtesy by Tammy Smithers, Agent & Financial Services Professional, New York Life
and/or other loan payments fit into your
Insurance Company. To learn more about the
information or topics discussed, please contact
you’ve protected your home and other
LIFE INSURANCE POLICIES
valuables with homeowners’ or renters’
Getting married greatly increases your
HOMEOWNERS’ OR RENTERS’ INSURANCE If you haven’t already done so, make sure
Tammy Smithers’ office at (201) 291-5476 or
40zROCK / TRAVEL
REGROUP. RECHARGE. RENEW. by Jacquie Parish
Women are traditionally caregivers, regularly placing the needs of everyone else in their lives ahead of their own. Yet it is undeniably important that women take the time to nurture themselves and travel is one of the best ways to do just that! There is an adventurous woman inside each of us; one who occasionally needs to make time for herself to refresh and renew her mind, spirit and body. Vacationing provides that opportunity for us to recharge our energy and enjoy fascinating destinations.
EAST WINDS INN
Here are three exotic destinations that
bean cuisine and wide variety of fish and
are not known hotspots and gener-
lobster dishes. The overall coziness and
ally untouched by mass tourism. What
"do what you feel" attitude at East Winds
these places may lack in amenities, they
Inn has made it a top relaxing spot in all
more than make up for in unspoiled
of the West Indies.
beauty, authentic living and above all,
(3) PARROT CAY, TURKS AND CAICOS ISLANDS
Tranquil and exclusive, this private Caribbean island will set you back a few greenbacks, but will revive your body
(2) LAMU, KENYA
and mind. It's a trade-off and many, after
(1) EAST WINDS INN, ST. LUCIA
As unexpected as it may be, you'll find
lieve it's a worthy sacrifice. A holistic spa
the most unspoiled beaches on the tiny
will take care of you from head to toe,
A slow-paced lifestyle full of cocktail
island of Lamu, off of Africa's east coast.
with aromatherapy and the art of Thai,
drinking, fine West Indian dining and
At this resort, where transportation is
Swedish and Indian massage.
a lot of sunbathing is what you'll get
by donkey, not car, there is a touch of
in this intimate all-inclusive resort. A
adventure to go along with plenty of
and beach houses â€” all are set up for
mere five miles from the capital city of
relaxing activities and luckily enough,
optimal pampering. The theme here is
Castries, East Winds Inn offers the most
no hordes of tourists. Aside from the
total relaxation and the small volume
authentic island living, as you stay in one
golden sand, there is a lot of Swahili
of tourists but large dose of five-star
of 15 native-designed single-story cottages
culture to experience. Explore the Lamu
treatment contributes largely to that.
nestled against the palm trees and
Museum, local architecture and unique
Therefore, for something less rustic but
dense tropical vegetation. Swimming
arts and crafts when not lounging in one
still extremely peaceful, try out this tiny
and relaxing strolls around the eight
of the small, intimate and private hotels.
resort and spa. ď€ś
acres of land are the most common ac-
Boating is also popular here, but with so
tivities. Visitors can follow up a day in the
much tranquility, you might be inclined
sun by dining at "The Inn," which offers
to simply sit back and enjoy Kenya's
its well-known International and Carib-
oldest living town in all its glory.
seclusion and tranquility.
testing out the Cay for a day or two, be-
Choose between 55 rooms, suites
KIM BURRELL ›
Rocking Her 40’z With NO REGRETS!
by Jacquie Parish
/ Photography: Kevin Jeffries SMG / Stylist: Charly Anderson / Makeup: Lamik Cosmetics / Hair: Uptown Hair Studio / Wardrobe: Rouge Boutique /
Kim Burrell is known for her dynamic, distinctive and captivating voice which carries power to soothe and encourage the heart of people everywhere. This Houston native is revered by her peers in the music industry from both the spiritual and secular world. This humble Grammy Award nominee and Stellar Award winner has a true and undying passion for ministry and music. 40’z Rock had the honor to sit down and chat with Kim about her transition into her 40’z.
Jacquie: How was your transition going into your 40’z? Kim: I was so glad I had arrived, because I did not know. I dreaded the FORTIES, but honey let me tell you, your life starts at 40! I had been trying to find life up until my forties. So, I tell every woman to live until you get 40 and you will find out that is when life truly begins. You are able to access relationships better, you know yourself better and you become okay with all your imperfections. By the time you reach your 40z, you either know how to fix them or you realize they were great the entire time. So 40’z is awesome and it Rocks!
Jacquie: Tell us about something that you are most passionate about?
Kim: I am most passionate about people.
I love God’s creation. I started a conference called Ephesians because I began reading Ephesians 4 and after reading it, I wanted to stand on top of the tallest mountain and tell the world to read it. Ephesians gave me a different perspective and revealed the purpose for man. My biggest passion is the development and fullness of a person’s potential. Sometimes we live life and do not live it to the fullest because we do not know that we can. We do not realize what the expectation of the fullest is because we do not have the faith to believe in more than what we see at the moment. So, my passion is to bring awareness to every living person, especially women.
God tells us that He wants us to prosper and live in abundance in all areas. What steps do you believe we must take in order to live a healthy and balanced life?
Kim: Choice! Choice is about deciding your worth. Choice is developed out of what you decide about yourself and then you choose to do it. The steps start from Ephesians 4:23. It says, “Be renewed in the spirit of your mind.” The spirit of a person’s mind is what decides everything. However, before you take any actions, it has to cultivate in the mind. Once you play it out, then you execute and step out on faith to make it come to pass. The proper steps begin with you coming into agreement with God about who you are as an individual.
How do you balance being a mom, an artist, a pastor and just being you?
Kim: My life is very full. I think all the time. I have to because I am responsible for so many people as far as I am concerned. Everything I do is not selfishly motivated. As an artist when I go on stage it is all about ministry. I am never satisfied until my discernment is free to believe that I came there to touch who I came to touch and sometimes that can almost seem controlling. Nonetheless, I can reassure you it is not, it is discernment. My sensitivity goes into full throttle. Everything I do is intentional because everything He (God) does is intentional. I practice not even knowing every side of who I am but embracing the fact that I can sing and preach each day. I do have the ability to encourage myself and others daily. Also, I have the capability to see things differently and to bond with different individuals each day I open my eyes. To put it simply, “It is about embracing the inevitable.”
Jacquie: Do you find it hard to make a stand for God when you are in an industry where pretty much everything goes?
Kim: My choice of being and staying a representative of the gospel is a conviction funneled through my relationship with God and what I represent with him. I do not like to be lied
on, misinterpreted and or misunderstood. I am so passionate about being honest and truthful. I do not like to appear as if I am dishonest about what I am doing. You know I have to be strategic in a world where people of different genres of music enjoy my music far more than Gospel. I had to find a strategic way to appeal to them because there is a certain sound that the accomplished musicians listen to that is not as traditional as gospel. Gospel has taken on a different face and sound for the sake of progress, succession and moving forward. My conviction about my relationship with God has kept me grounded in Gospel because I am interested in delivering the message of Jesus Christ. I know personally of what serving God can do for you. So, I am addicted to the conviction of conveying that message.
Jacquie: Tell us a little about your last album, “LOVE?” Kim: (chuckle) The “LOVE” album was my way of saying to the church that it is okay to have romantic music for you and your spouse to listen to as you minister to each other (in other words make love). Listening to Mahalia Jackson will not cut it. We as Christians have to stop being so deep and maybe we will not have to work so hard in keeping our spouse.
Jacquie: Tell us about your friendship with Whitney Houston? Did you see any warning signs in the past that you reflect on in the present?
Kim: Yes, I saw a lot of signs. Whitney called me about a week before her passing and said, “Hey I keep having this dream of water coming close to my head, but it goes back down.” I did not think much over her dream until she drowned. I thought, Lord have mercy! God were you trying to get me tell her something? Whitney was very strong, bull-headed and very much her own woman. She did not dance to anyone else’s beat. I think that is what made us very close. I was very straight forward with Whitney. I did not play. I had to deal with her aggressively, but with love.
Jacquie: We are sorry to hear of the loss of your mother. I remember attending one of your services when you mentioned how you missed her sitting in the front row, being your legal advisor and your biggest cheerleader. How have you been doing with the grieving process?
Kim: Strategically. Every day I wake up with a mindset not to feel sad. I love deeply, intentionally and I love very hard. I am a witness that love goes beyond the grave. It has been very much a transition for me and still it is very hard for me every day. I do not just say that lightly. It is something I know I will never get over, but I am learning to live with. My mother was the template! She was my lawyer when I could not afford a lawyer and she was my confidant. I will never forget when I was invited to sing at Yankee Stadium for the Pope back in 2007.
There were 65,000 people in attendance. Before going, I called my mother and told her I was invited to sing for the Pope and it is going to be 65,000 Catholics, what should I sing? She said, “Give me a minute and I’ll call you back.” Within minutes she calls back… “Kim, I got it. Sing: Let there be peace on earth and let it begin in me.” I have those kinds of memories that I live for and that is what gives me the strength to cope because I am coping. It is hard! I am not trying to be deep for nobody. I am not trying to be all heavenly, the Lord is carrying me through and I am mad. I want my momma back! I miss her every day and it is a process, but I must learn to live with it.
Jacquie: What advice would you give to a younger woman? Kim: Do your best to prep yourself for 40 because life really does begin, at 40. Not to discredit what good I experienced prior to turning 40. I bought my first home when I was 27, but I didn’t know how to live in a home until I was 40. I did not know how to interact emotionally with my inhibitions. Every year leading up to 40 is a prep for what 40z brings and should bring. And that is the anticipation of REAL LIFE.
Jacquie: How is your love life? Kim: I am currently single, with prospects and I am totally paying attention to my inner man. I was married before and I do not want to ever be miserable in love a second time around. I am looking for a man who knows how to love me from his soul, how to embrace my child and who understands my call and devotion for ministry. He must accept that I may be on tour months on end, but he knows how to surprise me and be my man. He can give me a world within himself and keep me interested in being the Kim that I am.
Jacquie: Your last album, “LOVE,” received a Dove award and was nominated for a Grammy. Do you have any other projects you are working on?
Kim: I did the “LOVE” album, [because] as my way of saying, “Church, I cannot be a real woman and say that I want to get married, and when I get ready to make love with my husband we listen to Mahalia Jackson to get us in the mood.” The message of the “LOVE” album was more of a statement of love to the world. I am an artist that believes in real authentic Eros. I believe in agape, but I believe in Eros love. I believe in the full circle of it and I plan to do more music like that. Currently, I am in conversation with a major record label to do another album. Rob Glasper won a Grammy in 2012 for an album called, R & B Black Radio. Rob reached out to me because he has a church background as well. Now, I am combining the best of both worlds; my gospel message along with the message of jazz. I am creating music that will appeal to many fans [gospel, jazz, and R&B], but does not offend the church.
WHO ROCK THE WORLD? In honor of women all around the world we wanted to recognize a few who led the way in 2013 Sheryl Sandberg - 2013
became the chief operating officer of Facebook, in 2012 she was elected the first women to serve on Facebook board.
Maria Rios - President, CEO and founder of Houston-based Nation Waste Inc., ranked No. 7 on Fortune’s 2013 Most Powerful Women.
Kerry Washington - Plays Olivia
Pope on Scandal, serves as the first African American female lead in a network.
Shonda Rhimes - Creator, head
writer, and executive producer of the medical drama television series Grey’s Anatomy and developed the ABC drama series Scandal.
Michelle Obama - First African American First Lady and wife of the 44th and current President of the United States, Barack Obama.
Antoinette Tuff - Hailed as
‘true hero’ for handling Georgia school gunman.
Bren’e Brown - Author of the #1
New York Times Bestseller Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead.
“She’s probably a
We need to have this conversation, guys. k by Mena Freeman
Stop assuming such a thing. Granted there may be
some womenout there who are up to no good. They may be constantly and actively in search of someone to provide for them in a big way. None of whom would qualify as a 40z Rock girl of course.
Guys, you must learn to recognize this type of woman
there are some who are well disguised and have the look of
and move on to the many more sincere ladies. Yes, a few of us
sincerity. You just have to learn to recognize them quickly and
are lazy and manipulative. I said it. A few of us have no shame
move on. I too have been on several dating sites. So far, none
and will use a guy for all he’s worth. However, these women
have produced my soul mate. But, man I’ve had some fun. Yes,
are vastly in the minority. The rest of us openly and gladly
most of the time he paid for the first date. But being the receipi-
admit that we need a partner. We need a hand holding, tight
ent of a free cup of coffee does not describe a “gold digger”.
hugging, dance with me talk to me, sharing caring man. I’m
just putting it out there.
cousin last week I heard a term that was completely new to
me. Have you ever heard the term “paper sack” man? Neither
You know, the term “gold digger” is such a hurtful expres-
The same is true for us ladies as well. Speaking with my
sion. It also indicates some degree of fear or stress. Are you
had I! It was used to describe the men that so many young
afraid that we want to get our hands on your 401k plan?
women are allowing into their lives. These men have either
Please don’t be. Most of us professional women have got one
been incarcerated for a very long time or perhaps have always
too. For generations, we women have tirelessly worked to
lived with their parents or simply just have not “gotten it
close that earnings gap and shatter the glass ceiling. If you
together”. Women who just want a “man” are allowing these
travel in professional circles, the overwhelming majority of
guys to move into her home with her and the children. Often
women can hold their own. Yes, as a rule you still earn more
these guys have no job and very little intent to get one. I
for similar jobs and professions, but we are catching up. By
wouldn’t call these guys “gold diggers”, however. Or, should I?
the time a professional woman reaches 40 years old and be-
But, for sure it’s a whole new phenomena.
yond, she most likely is on a solid financial foundation. Unde-
niably, most of us are divorced, raised the children, and have
to receive that special gift of a mate, we just may have to kiss
had some hardships. Yet, many of us have had a successful
a few frogs. In this world, there will always be those who
career for an equal amount of time as you. So, what’s missing
do not have your best interest at heart. But do not be afraid
in our lives you ask? What’s missing is that dependable and
that every woman is out to get you. If she is a “gold digger”
reliable partner. And believe it or not, the same is missing in
you will recognize it fairly quickly. If she is a sincere, honest,
your life. We may just be looking for each other, but one of us
hardworking, fun loving lovely lady, you just may lose the op-
thinks that the other is searching for some finances.
portunity to know her by being paranoid that she’s after your
bank. We have all been burned in some way. Sometimes it is
Men, did you know that right now in this country there
The bottom line for all of us, male or female is in order
are over 54,000,000 single people! Over 41,000,000 of these
extremely difficult to recognize someone who is not sincere.
single men and women have tried various online dating sites.
You are human. Forgive yourself and move on. By all means,
Unbelievable! Statistics such as these indicate that there are
do not hold on to anger and hostility because of someone
a whole lot of people who are willing to pay for some help in
order to find the right mate. If a woman is willing to pay for a
good “match” that tells me that she truly wants a good result.
ers. Before you accuse a lady of being a “gold digger” make
Therefore, she is willing to invest in the process. Pardon me,
sure that there is some gold. Make sure that your finances are
but most “gold diggers” do not invest in very much. Yes, again
One last comment to my beautiful, brilliant, strong broth-
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MEDICINE FOR YOUR HEART by JenĂŠe Pierre
They say passion is lost in mundane activities. Iâ€™m passionately, mundanely awaiting to be swept off of my feet into a cloud of butterflies fresh from their cocoon choosing my airy essence as their first experience of a short life of flight and flowery cuisine. He was saying all the right and necessary words while starving me of light nightly touches and kissing embraces of honey filled breath on the back of my neck. This one just had the right words and slowly the pedals fell and the flowers died shortly after the ink dried on their wings. And that one was highly and lyrically inappropriate. Yet, he held me like I was the composer of the life growing in that small, incubating space, he kissed me like I designed the print on the wings with my very own heartbeat. And suddenly, that perfect found puzzle piece drifted away leaving me to await for another release of a cocoon. Passionately. Mundanely.
These thoughts can be told by many hearts in many ways on
physically we always look on the outside to satisfy our issue.
different paths. People come into our lives and they evoke
Spiritually we are screaming for peace, a release from the
our emotions, they give us experiences and they teach us
bondage of worrying, anxiety and fears. We may feel like we
lessons. The decisions we make define our positions in society
just need our relationship that has ended to start again, our
that change with our personal evolvement. Heart break
loved one that has passed away to have more days, and all
leads to heart ache and take us to hollow areas of our soul.
of our losses to reverse. In those moments when we feel we
However, there is something that brings us back to the light
don’t have any control, give your Heart Peace. Our faith, our
while challenging and building our character. Give your heart
oracle, and our spirituality is the center of nutrition for our
acceptance. Before we can begin to understand and accept
Spirit. Peace teaches us to maintain balance and hope in our
the existence of others, we must understand and accept the
lives. Whatever comes on our journey, having peace above all
existence of ourselves. There was a question floating across
is good for the physical, the mental and the spiritual.
the timelines of social media pages, “If you could write your
younger self a letter, what would it be?” Many of the answers
build on our foundation brick by brick. Patience is a skill I work
were warnings, names of people to not date or trust, and
on, it’s a challenge in my personal fast paced world and I want
various regrets. This is normal - when we are still holding on
things now and to be done now. One skill that is most times
to past decisions and experiences. We have all been there. To
left behind is compassion. Especially, in those moments on
truly enter the realm of Self-Love, we must Self-Accept. Every
your journey when you are justified to be highly pissed at this,
experience is a brick on our foundation and purpose. Each
that, him or her. No one would argue or say you are wrong for
brick represents growth as you build brick by brick, regard-
your feelings because the act that was committed deserved
less of how hard it was to lay, it is still a part of you growing
such emotion from you. We tend to think of compassion as
and forming into the person you are today and who you will
something we lend to those is a positive context. The people
be tomorrow. Abandon phrases such as “I lost so much time
who you want to write off are precisely the ones who need it
in that relationship”, “I regret the day I met him”, “I wish I could
most. Give your Heart Compassion by remembering we have
go back and change (fill in the blank)”. As harmless as it may
all experienced pain and loss and it does no good being hap-
seem, you are reinforcing subconsciously the feelings that
py because others are hurting. Compassion is a skill that can
contradict acceptance and thus you create a burden and
be practiced each time it seems to be the hardest to forgive.
burdens weigh you down and make you too tired to keep
building. When you are going through it, it’s hard to reach
building. I used to work near a new homes construction site,
this mental level of self-actualizing, however, when you come
and sometimes the workers were building homes in less than
up out of it you must DO THE WORK to Self-Accept and move
great weather – very hot or chilling cold. But, I would hear
forward. Embrace the lessons so you don’t have to learn them
them laughing and helping get the job done. What if they
again and don’t invest in tearing others down that hurt you.
allowed their temporary conditions to overtake their outlook,
Instead, use your new tools your lessons- learned equipped you
dictate their attitudes and cause barriers in their communica-
with to continue building you up.
tion? When storms come on your journey of building brick by
brick, give your Heart Love. Say it, do it, show it, know it, be-
In my daily prayers I ask for many things for myself,
There are many skills we should strive to obtain as we
A life filled with love makes for a more fulfilled process of
others, my community and the world and I always close with
lieve it and deserve it. Love breaks down walls, heals the most
“above all else, let me have peace”. Our physical selves start
deeply rooted wounds from our past that we have buried, and
to crave when we are going through hardship – more sleep,
frees us to demand a life of abundance. We always have to
more food, more attention, and more solitude, and so on.
choose when we are making decisions about how to lay our
Because when we lack balance, we become scattered and
next brick, in your decision, always choose Love.
Meet PHYLLIS BURTON
40z ROCK MS. MARCH Phyllis is 42 and is rocking in her 40’z. She is a registered nurse and a full time Momager, she holds a Master’s Degree In Business and is a graduate of Page Parkes Modeling School in Houston, TX. When not managing her daughter’s acting career, she enjoys participating in monthly races which allows her to give back to the community and stay healthy while doing so. She ran her first marathon of 26.2 miles in January in San Diego, California.
Phyllis has been a member of the 40 Rock Organization since it’s inception in
2012. During her tenure as a member of 40z Rock, she was Ms. December in the 2013 Calendar and Ms. March in the 2014 Calendar. Phyllis works on the hospitality committee within the organization, using her sensitive and nurturing spirit to show compassion and bring comfort to people in their time of need.
Phyllis believes in winning to help others win. The words that she lives by
is don’t be discourage of doors that may have closed on you...because there’s always a opening through the window. Seize every opportunity! I Rock, You Rock, Together We ROCK!
MY MOUTH HAS ME IN A
MESS! by Merneen Spearman
Proverbs 18: 21”The tongue has the power of life and death…” Most of the mess in our lives originates from the mouth. What we say can really cause us trouble, or to the vast extreme, help us. In this teaching, we want to explore how to maximize our words for the glory of God, for our betterment and the betterment of others. Words are such a great part of our lives. So much so, that we don’t really pay attention to how we use them, because we use them so much. It’s needful that we become women who use wise words. Women who know and understand the value of what comes out of their mouths lead successful and productive lives.
in your heart believe (adhere to, trust in,
force spiritual principles. The concept
using our words to glorify God, we will
and rely on the truth) that God raised
of repeating is vital in early childhood
escape a lot of unnecessary pain and
Him from the dead, you will be saved.”
development and music. There is a sym-
heartache. So, I’m excited about this spirit-
Manifestation is directly connected to con-
bol used in music for repeating certain
ual principle, like you, I’m always on a quest
fession. Confess means to say or to speak
sections of the music. In early childhood
to be better and to do better. I believe that
out. Once you have said or spoken out,
repeating a concept or words through-
God placed this subject on my heart and
then this leads to a manifestation. What-
out a lesson, for several days and weeks,
mind for a special reason. It is needed. I
ever you have spoken, something will
sometimes throughout the entire year,
have much to share on this topic and I re-
manifest as a result. When you confess
is necessary for the concept to become
ally want to glorify God with the words
with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and
foundational. You must rehearse the Word
that I have written. Thank you for want-
believe in your heart that God raised Him
of God as often as possible; using audio,
ing to use your words to give God glory.
from the dead; salvation is the manifesta-
reading or video.
tion of what you’ve said or confessed. EXPLORE THESE 3 AREAS PERTAINING TO LEARNING TO USE YOUR WORDS TO GLORIFY GOD:
Because of what you’ve said or confessed,
1. Means of Access. Psalm 19:14
3. Maimed. 2 Timothy 2:14-18
(KJV)”Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord, my strength, and my redeemer.” The words that we release out our mouths are not just mere words. Let your words be acceptable unto God. In other words, be sure that what you say is acceptable before God. Words have the power to get you into something or out of something. The mouth is identified as an entry, exit, and the way in, the way out, doorway or a gate. The words
something materializes from it.
(AMP) “Repeat these basic essentials over and over to God’s people. Warn them before God against pious nitpicking, which chips away at the faith. It just wears everyone out. Concentrate on doing your best for God, work you won’t be ashamed of, laying out the truth plain and simple. Stay clear of pious talk that is only talk. Words are not mere words, you know. If they’re not backed by a godly life, they accumulate as poison in the soul.” So many people have been maimed
that you use are synonymous to a key
by their own words and those of others.
or a lock, it is up to you which one they
THE POWER OF REPETITION
2 Timothy 2: 14 starts out by saying
Once we understand the importance of
Answer the Following: What words do you hear in your
mind without anyone having to say them? Are there certain scriptures that
you can recall how you retained them; by repetition or just by hearing it once? Do you recall the word of God
or certain aspects of the gospel better by repetition or just by hearing or reading it once? Do you repeat or rehearse the
word of God in your mind or out loud? How do you feel about the word
2. Manifestations. Romans 10:9 (AMP)
“repeat the basic essentials over and over
of God being emphasized over and over again? Does it annoy
“Because if you acknowledge and con-
to God’s people.” This is a form of using
you or do you enjoy it?
fess with your lips that Jesus is Lord and
words, verbiage and speech to rein
AM I DATING MEN OR TECHNOLOGY? by Tezzie Gilbert
Many mature women are wondering if they are dating men or technology. Who can decode the LMBO, SMH, LOL, at ten, after 5, yours or mine or any of these encrypted messages that women receive from men. It is hard enough to date as it is but when you involve technology you are definitely taking the dating game to the next level.
I get asked from many women, how
do I keep up with what is trending? They often illustrate with much desperation and sometimes laughter, “What the heck
1. Set your standards early. If you get asked out via text message, don’t give your answer over text…Reply with, “Call me for an answer” 2. Just relax and be yourself. The authentic you is always better than the make believe you 3. Sex never seals the deal so don’t make that your focus. 4. Never date a man that is intimidated by you in any way. Men should want a woman that is driven and successful. 5. When dating, do not focus on every man being the one. Just focus on finding out if you are even compatible.
communicate with men?
6. Never share any personal information about yourself over text. Always talk about personal things in person. If you choose to text, keep them brief and light.
Last but not least,
is that?” I just learned how to use the other and now you are telling me that I have to learn something else just to I recently acquired some mind
blowing tips that I am going to share that will calm you down and help you
7. Sending naked photos and sexting are not for the mature woman. Stay away from it.
to learn how to date the man and NOT the technology.
some of the best tips from the show. I
Oprah Winfrey featured a Lifeclass
I could go on and on but these were
on OWN entitled, Stop Settling and Start
challenge each of you to really get to
Dating Smarter. The show featured a
know more about yourself so you can
special guest, Greg Behrandt and his
understand what you truly want when
wife Amiira Ruotola, authors of, HE IS
you are dating.
JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU and their
new book, It’s just a F***ing Date.
your standards, do not back down just
for the sake of a man. Technology was
Greg and his wife shared one tip that
Do not settle, create and stick to
created the coined, A-ha moment dur-
created to make life easier, but this does
ing the show…They said, “Just date and
not necessarily apply to dating. Technol-
don’t focus on trying to compete with
ogy can be a deal breaker when dating.
the technological aspect of dating.”
If you commit yourself to trying to keep
Here are some dating tips to help you
up with what is trending, you may soon
learn how to date the man and not
discover that you will be fighting a losing
battle. Remember, date the man and not the technology. You have the power to do it! Now, GO!.
HEAL THYSELF by Jacquie Parish
Essential Oils (oils extracted aromatic plants) have long played an important role in history, medicine and religion. Oils have been used in religious ceremonies, cosmetics, funeral rites and perfume. The Ancient Egyptians are often credited with being the first to use essential oils. One of the oldest documents – dating back to 1553 BC – called the Ebers Papyrus details how to use frankincense for a variety of ailments. When Tutankhamen’s tomb was discovered in 1922, archeologist Howard Carter found 35 alabaster jars that were used to hold oils. Chinese aroma therapists believed that extracting a plant’s fragrance was a way to free its soul. The Ancient Greek Hippocrates used the aromatherapy of several essential oils to fumigate Athens and fight off the plague epidemic. Today, scientists, physicians and researchers are beginning to return to the use of essential oils as a way to naturally and holistically heal our bodies. Oils are natural anti-depressants, antibacterial fighters, and immune strengtheners.
Here are some essential oils that everyone should have in their home. We also included their healing properties. LAVENDER ESSENTIAL OIL Lavender (Lavandula angustifolia) has a fresh, sweet, floral, herbaceous aroma that is soothing and refreshing. Because it is the
BENEFITS: Frankincense can be added to your lotion or soap to prevent acne. It will help heal and calm burns, rashes, cuts and scrapes. Frankincense makes a great massage oil because not only will it purify your skin but it will put up
most versatile of all essential oils, no home should be without it.
protective barrier in your aura to prevent other people’s negativity from effecting you.
BENEFITS: Lavender is an anti-bacterial, anti-inflammatory, antidepressant oil that has a multitude of functions.
You can also mix it with coconut oil and rub into your children’s feet to increase their immune system and help them sleep through the night.
Add a few drops to a carrier oil such as sunflower oil and spritz it on you your body to repel mosquitoes. Place dried lavender sachets in your closets and drawers to ward off moths.
Known to reduce anxiety, rub a few drops behind your ears and on wrists to ease stress. You can also diffuse in your room to uplift your mood.
Add 5 drops to a humidifier to relieve a stuffy nose.
Add a few drops to a handkerchief and inhale to relieve nasal congestion.
Place a few drops on your pillow to combat insomnia.
Frankincense is also known to help with asthma and allergies.
Add a few drops of lavender oil to your favorite facial moisturizer and see your skin naturally restored. Add a few drops of lavender oil to a bottle of witch hazel and use to combat acne.
PEPPERMINT ESSENTIAL OIL
Make some lavender tea and use the water as a dandruff rinse. Lavender and peppermint oil mixed with a carrier oil such as Jojoba will cure headaches when rubbed on the temples. Simmer dried lavender with citrus peels in a pot of water to serve as a natural air freshener. Add baking soda, lavender, water, and rubbing alcohol to a spray bottle to make your own natural antiseptic cleaner. Inhale lavender periodically to fight feelings of sadness.
Throughout history, peppermint has been used to cure bad breath, soothe tummy troubles, relieve colic,gas, headaches, heartburn and indigestion. BENEFITS: Emotionally, peppermint can help soften anger, ease depression and eliminate fatigue. Add a few drops to your coffee or tea to alleviate indigestion. Apply a few drops to the back of neck and shoulders throughout the day to keep your energy up.
FRANKINCENSE ESSENTIAL OIL
Rub a drop or two on your temples, forehead and over sinuses (carefully avoiding contact with eyes) to alleviate sinus pressure and headaches. Diffuse to reduce appetite.
Frankincense is a holy oil; it’s one of the gifts presented to
Add to a carrier oil such a Jojoba and rub into an upset stomach.
Christ by the three wise men. It’s used during many religious
Rub a few drops to the bottoms of your feet to reduce a fever.
ceremonies for spiritual protection. Frankincense has been
Apply topically to eliminate itching from bug bites.
grown and hulled in Omar since 7,000 B.C. When the farmers
Inhale before and after workouts to boost your mood and reduce fatigue.
collect Frankincense, they make a cut in the bark and let the sap ooze out releasing any impurities and negative energy. They wait a few weeks and then return to collect the now cleansed sap. Frankincense is currently being studied by the immunologist Mahmoud Suhail as a possible cure for cancer after scientists observed that some agent within frankincense stops cancer from spreading.
Diffuse in a room to enhance focus and concentration while studying. To deter rodents, ants and cockroaches, place a few drops of peppermint oil on a cotton ball and place on their path or entry area. Add 4 – 5 drops to a bottle of water and spray on plants to kill aphids. You can also add a few drops of peppermint oil to a bottle of water and mist to reduce hot flashes.
to Achieving Your Hearts Desire by J. Michelle Garrison
Do you feel like you are stuck in a life of complacency and your intuition is telling you that there has got to be more to this thing called life? Is it your heart’s desire to make the rest of your life the best of your life? Every day you should wake up ready to live. Here are five steps that will help you go from living a life of mediocrity to knowing exactly what you want and how to go get it.
STEP ONE: Identify Your Heart’s Desire
you will unlock the door to a life full of happiness and satisfac-
Many times we find ourselves unhappy and unsatisfied. We
tion. When you have identified what you want, move on to
go about our daily lives unfulfilled and frustrated. Sometimes
step two to establish a pathway of how to get it.
the hustle and bustle of life creates so much noise that we can’t hear from our inner self. Everyone was put on this earth with a unique purpose that manifests itself in our heart’s desire. I challenge you to get in a peaceful place and do some soul searching. Once you have identified your heart’s desire
STEP TWO: Believe It and You Can Achieve It The most important step to moving forward is having a positive mindset. A positive mind creates positive energy, which creates positive results. If you don’t believe you have what it takes to attain what you want; you’re defeated before you start. Believe
in yourself… Believe in your strength…Believe in your will
STEP FIVE: Reinvest Your Return (a two part step)
power and watch the universe go to work in your favor.
Once you start to see success from all the hard work and effort
STEP THREE: Develop a Roadmap Lewis Carroll, the famous author of Alice’s Adventures in
you have invested in Steps 1-4, it’s time to reinvest. 1. You should invest in others. There will be people who will
Wonderlands, said “If you don’t know where you are going, any
help you along the way or who have even paved the road for
road will get you there. Likewise, the British politician, Winston
you to travel. How awesome would it be if you are can show
Churchill, said “He who fails to plan is planning to fail”. If you
your appreciation by helping someone else? You will en-
want to get from point A to point Z, you must go through B to
counter someone who needs to know how to achieve their
Y, letter by letter. Consequently, life is no different. There will
heart’s desire. Tell them your story and encourage them to
be many milestones between your starting point and the finish
take these steps to a more fulfilling life. I guarantee you will
line. The good news is, every little step you take will get you
experience a greater happiness.
closer to your heart’s desire than you were before. Wake up every morning reviewing the road map, committing to taking
2. Reinvest in yourself. Studies have shown that people who continue to invest in self-development become more
the right steps to keep you on the path, and encouraged that it
confident and improve their quality of life. For example, I had
may not be easy, but you will be victorious. Eating an elephant
this bad habit of worrying about the future. . I could really
sounds like an impossible task, but if you take it one bit at a
use some self-development in this area, so I started reading
time you will get the job done. Just keep chewing….
books about overcoming anxiety and stress. After reading
STEP FOUR: Surround Yourself With Those Who Have Been Down the Road You Have to Travel
“The Shack” by William P. Young and Don M. Ruiz book titled “The Four Agreements”, I’ve learned to live in the moment.
My family and friends know I have a heart for fitness and
They changed my life. No more worrying about tomorrow,
healthy eating. One of my long term goals is to work in the
I thrive for enjoying the present. I wake up each morning
fitness industry as a personal trainer. For years, I have sur-
more confident about the outcome of my day and the qual-
rounded myself with personal trainers, taken fitness classes, as
ity of my life has improved tremendously.
well as learned and established healthy eating habits. I have also done the research on the business economics of running
Whether you read self-help books, watch motivational
a fitness center. I have taken it upon myself to developed
videos, or attend church regularly, make sure spend time and a
relationships with people in the industry hoping to learn from
little money investing in your own self development. Not only
their experiences along their journey. This not only helps me
will you become a better person, but you will live a better life.
as I continue to develop my roadmap, it gives me an inside look
as to what I might expect and how to prepare for it. You may
steps will move you from an apparently good life to an obvi-
say, “I don’t know anyone who has achieved my same goal”.
ously great life. Search your heart to find its desires and take
Well guess what, you don’t have to know them. The internet
the steps to attain just that. Give yourself permission to believe
can give you full access to people that you may not have the
that you have more than what it takes to achieve your heart’s
opportunity to meet. Research their history, read their books,
desire. Be sure to surround yourself with successful people.
join their groups in order to find out what tools and resources
Remember to reach back to help someone else. And finally,
they used to help them along the way. This step may take a
never forget to consistently reinvest in yourself. If you follow
bit of hard work, time, and patience, but a “ whatever it takes
this path, then I believe that “Live, Laugh, Love” won’t be just a
attitude” will definitely result in a successful future. Let a living
slogan on your coffee mug. It will become your way of life.
testimony help YOU become a living testimony.
I will say it again, “Life is for the living”. Following these
Now go get it!
QUOTES “A lot of problems in the world would disappear if we talk to each other instead of about each other.”
Sometimes, in life, a bit of inspiration in the form of quotes can be surprisingly helpful.
“As I look back on my life, I realize that every time I thought I was being rejected from something good, I was actually being re-directed to something better.”
“Beauty isn’t about having a pretty face. It’s about having a pretty mind, a pretty heart, and a pretty soul.”
“You don’t always need a plan. Sometimes You just need to breathe. Trust. Let go. And see what happens.”
“Sometimes the strongest among us are the ones who smile through silent pain, cry behind closed doors, and fight battles nobody knows about.”
“Girls compete with each other. Women empower one another.”
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Women’s mental health is critical to their overall health and to the health of our Nation. – Wanda K. Jones, Dr.P.H.
Good mental health is an important part of a woman’s overall health. Your mental health is as important as your physical health. In fact, new research is showing us how closely the two are connected. Taking care of your mental health can help you feel better physically. And taking care of your body is important for your mental health.Being able to recognize and talk honestly about your mental health is the first step. Good mental health helps you enjoy life and cope with problems. It offers a feeling of well-being and inner strength. Just as you take care of your body by eating right and exercising, you can do things to help protect your mental health. “You need a balance of mental health along with spiritual, emotional, and physical health. It all works together.” “Good mental health isn’t just the absence of mental health problems. It’s about having a sense of balance in your life — time alone and time with friends and family, work and play, rest and exercise. It’s about taking care of yourself— body and mind.” Did You Know: Nearly half of all Americans (46%) suffer from a mental illness at some point in life. Find out more information www.womenshealth.gov
May is Mental Health
I Am My Sisterâ€™s Keeper
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MODEL SEARCH CALLING ALL WOMEN IN THEIR 40’z OF BEAUTY, STYLE & SUBSTANCE Want to be selected for our 2015 40’z Rock Calendar?
Who wouldn’t – and if you enter our Model search before August 1, 2014, you just might be one of the 12 ladies selected.
ENTER Register at www.40zrock.com or http://bit.ly/1mBsL0B Upload a 30sec video telling why you ROCK! Submit a $40 processing fee per entry
BONUS Contest entrants become part of the 40z Rock magazine talent pool and may be contacted to participate in future editorial features.
CONTEST ENTRY OPEN UNTIL:
Have a fabulous friend, enter her too!
AUGUST 1, 2014 (11:59pm CST) #40zRock
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