z 40 ROCK Quarterly Magazine / Issue No. 9
40’z Rock Founder, SANDRA WYCKOFF
GAME CHANGERS SOME WOMEN PLAY BY THE RULES, OTHERS MAKE THEM!
CONTENTS / Issue No. 9
âžº ON THE COVER
Sandra Wyckoff, 40zRock Founder
Features 48 Celebrating the
50 7 Affirmations For Your New Year
34 In Each Issue 4
8 Must-Haves: Editor’s Favorite Picks for 2016
Food: Remove Gluten fromYour Life
Q&A With Mia: Let’s Get it (W) Right!
Beauty: Good-bye Double Chin
1 6 Fashion: 2016’s Fashion Trends
Health: The Truth About Why Diets Fail
J WTDO: Mind Matters: New Year, New You Stree-Free
24 JWTDO: Physical: Vaginal Atrophy
26 JWTDO: Self-Help: The Secret to a Successful NYE Resolution
28 Spirituality: Women Discovering the Importance of Priority & Position in Order to Be Rule-Makers
The Pros of Online Dating
32 Effective Parenting:
Martini Anyone? Shaken, Not Stirred (I think not!)
34 Finances: Get Started Now
F orty, Fabulous & Free 5 Strategies to Find Happiness, Peace & Your Version of Success
Travel: The World’s Most Extraordinary Sleepovers
40zROCK / EDITOR'S LETTER
Thank you God for Reason, Season & Lifetime Angels People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. When you figure out which one it is, you will know what to do for each person.When someone is in your life for a REASON . . . It is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are! They are there for the reason you need them to be.Then, without any wrong doing on your part, or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered. And now it is time to move on.I remember when my mother died, I moved to California hoping the change of scenery would help me some how deal with the pain. I was so depressed, it took everything in me to get out of bed. One day while working at the Louis Vuitton store I happened to meet this incredible woman named Nona. I had my big "work" smile on trying to close a sale, but inside I was in so much pain. When I met her, she insisted that I let her take me around. We instantly clicked, and it was like I had known her for years. She was like the big sister I always wanted. The next day, we met for lunch and we became inseparable. Her lifestyle afforded her freedom to do whatever she wanted and she made it her mission in life to keep me from being depressed. So many days I just wanted to sleep my life away, but with a REASON
like her, It just wasn't happening. After close to a year, I got up like I always did, and called my friend. It was not uncommon for us to talk three to four times a day. This particular day, I didn't hear back from her. In fact, til this day, I never spoke to her again. I was so confused, but I was mentally strong enough to move on to the next phase of my life with Nona only as a memory. I never knew what happened, but I do know that she was an Angel sent from God to look after me for a SEASON for so many REASONS... Remember, people come into your life for a SEASON . . .Because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn.They bring you an experience of peace, or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season. This is why it is so important that you express to people that you love and appreciate with them with not just your words, but your with your actions as well. If I don't know anything else, I know because you never know when their REASON or SEASON is up. I think the way you treat your REASON or SEASON is an indication to God of just how thankful you are. LIFETIME relationships teach us lifetime lessons; things we must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. I learned my job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put my experience to use in all other relationships and areas of my life. I hope you will do the same! #wonthedoit
Sandra A. Wyckoff Editor-in-Chief
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40zROCK Sandra Wyckoff Editor-in-Chief Editing Chief
Rhonda M. Anderson Kim Evans Lawson Creative Director
Ann Inez Hardell
/ CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Kim Bady A contemporary thought leader and author whose message of authenticity has touched may people from around the world. For nearly 20 years, Kim has used her very own life experiences to lead others to healing and wholeness and ultimately to be their most authentic self. Her core message is expressed through her books, Authentically Me, and the newly released and best-selling book, Hey Sexy: Seeing the Excellence in Yourself. P 48 / Celebrating the Divine Feminine
Tanai Benard Photographers
Bobby B Photos (cover + page 44)
Pride Publishing Group (page 46)
NyTimes (page 46)
✽ Hair & Make Up
Prefinity Art Cosmetics
Is living out her dreams as a Teacher in Abu Dhabi She is a mother of 3 and is currently living an amazing life in a foreign country. She’s truly showing us how it’s possible to live your dreams no matter what your circumstances are. P 34 / Forty, Fabulous & Free: 5 Strategies to Find Happiness, Peace & Your Version of Success
Deidre Berry A 46 years young professional with a bachelor’s degree in sociology/criminal justice and a masters degree in general education, is a dedicated wife and proud mother of six. She has spent a majority of her life working with at risk youth and holds a high interest in child advocacy issues. As the mother of a blended family she prides herself on finding balance, resolve and creative measures to ensure a healthy balanced family life. P 32 / EFFECTIVE PARENTING: Martini Anyone? Shaken, Not Stirred (I think not)
Jeneé Pierre Owner of The Woman's Earth, a boutique spa and wellness center offering holistic services of massage, yoga, facial and meditation. www.thewomansearthstudio.com. P 50 / 7 Affirmations For Your New Year
Dr. Cheruba Prabakar, MD A board certified OBGYN who specializes in treating women with fibroids, irregular bleeding, pelvic pain and uterine prolapse. She is trained in minimally invasive surgery and offers the latest treatments in laparoscopic and robotic surgery. Dr. Prabakar is the author of several manuscripts and presents her work at national conferences. She also serves as a television medical news contributor to ARISE America. Learn more at her website: www.drcheruba.com. P 24 / JWTDO: Physical: Vaginal Atrophy
Dr. Amber Robins, MD Is a family Medicine Resident and graduate of the University of Rochester School of Medicine and Dentistry. Her areas of interest are women's health, preventative medicine and medical journalism. P 20 / JWTDO: Mind Matters: New Year, New You Stress-Free
Merneen Spearman An author, minister, speaker, entrepreneur, mom, wife and friend. P 28 / SPIRITUALITY: Women Discovering the Importance of Priority & Position in Order to Be Rule-Makers
Cheyenne Bostock A Life & Relationship Expert, motivational speaker and author of two books. He is one of media’s goto sources for real and uncut advice on life, love and relationships. P 30 / RELATIONSHIPS: The Pros of Online Dating
Lana Kerr Founder and CEO of Your Fat Loss Coach. Bestselling author, and one of the nations's leading health and wellness experts. Thousands of my clients, including legendary supermodel Beverly Johnson, agree my methods are inspiring and motivational. www.yourfatlosscoach.com. P 18 / Health: The Truth About Why Diet's Fail
Rebecca Johnson, Psy. D., PC Dr. Rebecca was awarded her Psy.D. and M.A. in Clinical Psychology by the California School of Professional Psychology and holds an active Georgia Psychologist License. P 26 / JWTDO: Self-Help: The Secret to a Successful NYE Resolution
Charlotte Stallings The author of “I Wish Someone Had Told Me! Financial Lessons Learned the Hard Way” Charlotte is a proud member of the National Speakers Association who has shared commentary for CNN and serves as a weekly in-studio guest on Houston’s FOX 26 Wake-Up Money segment. P 34 / Finances: Get Started Now
Mia Wright As founder of Metamorphosis, Inc., an organization that encompasses the life changing Metamorphosis Women’s Conference. Mia is an inspirational speaker, who encourages others with uplifting life stories and skills that apply in both the faith based and industry sectors. She is also a sought after national motivational speaker, women’s conference presenter, and corporate work / faith / life balance coach. P 12 / Q&A With Mia: Let's Get It (W)right!
Live at Aloft Every 3rd Friday Live at Aloft Hotels Sip on specialty cocktails, munch on a snack-attack menu and listen to cool tunes. Rock out with live acoustic performances by the hottest, emerging artists or get your groove on with eclectic beats from sassy dj mixes.
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40zROCK / MUST-HAVES
Passport $75 - $115
Marni Fox Fur Stole $3,755
PICKS A hand-picked selection featuring some of our favorite items for 2016
Loess Leather Wrap $160
Kuumba Fragrance Oil. $10
Michael Kors Assorted Bangles $60 - $240
40zROCK / FOOD
REMOVE GLUTEN FROM YOUR LIFE! Well, it’s officially that time of the year following the most wonderful time of the year—cold and flu season. Here is one gluten-free recipe that’s sure to help when you are sick. SUPERFOOD SALAD WITH LEMON VINAIGRETTE Ingredients /2 cup dry quinoa
/3 cup red onion, chopped
1 orange, peeled and segments chopped 1 avocado, chopped 1 cup canned black beans, rinsed and drain 1 cup pomegranate arils 1 cup frozen corn, thawed
DIRECTIONS: 1. Cook quinoa according to package directions.
/3 cup cilantro, chopped
salt an pepper
For the Lemon Vinaigrette: 2 lemons, juiced 2 garlic cloves, finely minced
2. F or the vinaigrette: combine all ingredients in a jar with a tight fitting lid, and shake to combine. Or, ad lemon juice, garlic, sweetener, salt and pepper into a small bowl an whisk in oil.
dash of sweetener salt and pepper 6 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil
3. Combine cooled quinoa with red onion, orange segments, avocado,
2. b eans, pomegranate arils, corn, cilantro, SALT and pepper. Pour lemon vinaigrette over the salad and stir to combine. Serve cold or at room temperature. ✖ SOURCE: Iowa Girl Eats
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A postpartum Doula is trained and experienced in normal
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Doula is a Greek term that has come to mean “mothering
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40zROCK / Q&A With Mia
Let's Get It (W)right! Mia is helping people to positively change their lives. If you have a problem and need a solution, she can help you get your answers.
Q Mrs. Mia, I don't know if age has anything discovering your to do with purpose, but I feel as though I should know in my fortie s. I am constantly asking myself an can't seem to find dI the answer. I'm ve ry outgoing, so, I doing a lot of thin like gs, but I still can't say for sure what my purpose. is A
Mia W right
The amazing thin g about pursing lif eâ€™s purpose is that it has no time or ag e limit, it is a life lo ng journey. The tru is that your age al th one does not defin e what you should should not be doin or g at any period of your life. We often compelled to live feel up to standards an d perceived timel ines that arenâ€™t always appropriate for ou r indivudual lives. In other words, there are many things th at we donâ€™t learn in a particular decade of life. There may be some things yo learn early, and th u at may take anothe r person years to un derstand. If we be lieve that life is tru ly about self discov ery, then we can embr ace that life is abou t pursing our purp Discovering it is on ose. e of the wonderfu l things about life, do not discount th but e time spent in th at process. The ke y to it all is embracing w hat you have learne d and understand how it all can tie in ing to what you shou ld be doing in life. Keep pursing, keep disc overing, never stop applying the lesson learned to what yo s ur purpose is and can be.
tor & M
Life's pur pose has no t ime or age limit.
?'s / 12
Do you have some life pressing que
stions you need to get answers to?
M F L
Ask Mia and get it (W)right!
Pastor Mia, what is the best way to stay hopeful when my situation seems hopeless?
One thing that I have learned in life is that
somehow all things seem to work out. The things that do not kill you only serve to make you stronger. Maintaining a positive outlook, looking for the best in any situation and remaining prayerful will help you keep hope when a particular situation seems hopeless. Regardless as to what it is, you must have an absolute resolve that you will survive! Know that you will come out as a better person and that you have God on your side. As an optimist, I am often searching for the good in all things. Even when it seems like the end result will only be detrimental, the truth is that seeking the positive will help you to maintain your sense of balance and hopefulness. Each day you should affirm your outcome. Attract what is right and true. Focus on what your best outcome should be. I am strong. I am a survivor. I am able to push through this. I will be okay. Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a dream fulfilled is a tree of life. ~ Proverbs 13:12
ral of my family Pastor Mia, I have experienced seve rance. It was awful members who die without life insu get the money to seeing other family members try and 6 months ago, and bury them. I just got married about g life insurance up to I'm wondering is it to early to brin think is I'm plotting my husband? The last thing I want to get rid of him. LOL!
ing you for even Wow! Let me first begin by applaud ures, this seems to bringing up the issue. In many cult the dead. No one be a taboo subject - life insurance for pen to them when wants to think about what will hap love does mean their gone, but in reality, showing true d ones once you that you are concerned with your love covering burial are gone. Life insurance, not just for your family is so expenses, but for leaving a legacy for subject will be key to important. How you approach this e. I suggest that your success in getting policies in plac that you want to enyou approach it from the standpoint for your family. What sure that your legacy is established es a stack of bills, happens if one of you passes and leav to cover? It could plus mortgage etc. for just one of you use. Additionally be detrimental for the surviving spo ones having to pull share your experience of your loved s, the stress that it together finances to bury loved one ily. Meet with an causes, and how it is unfair to the fam en getting the insurance specialist who can assist you ily. Consider having proper insurance for you and your fam if you have a family a presentation for all family members g that can capture reunion, family BBQ or any gatherin
the attention of family members. âœ–
40zROCK / BEAUTY
GOOD-BYE DOUBLE CHIN credit: causeofdoublechin.com
Number one question: How can I get rid of my double chin? If you’d like to slim down your chin area, there are several approaches you can take. Something as simple as getting the right haircut, doing chin exercises, and having good posture are easy changes you can make right away. Avoiding a problem double chin can be difficult work, especially if you have a genetic predisposition toward one. Yes, sometimes double chins simply run in the family. When this is the case, a double chin still can be avoided. It just takes a little extra concentration. NO MORE DOUBLE CHIN! Proper dieting can be helpful when trying to stop a double chin before it starts or get rid of a double chin that already exists. However, very often a double chin is not an obesity problem. In other words, people who are otherwise slim can somehow or another develop a fat face. While this is a dirty deal much of it goes back to that genetic disposition thing.
Dietary Changes to Consider HERE ARE A FEW SIMPLE & HEALTHY ONES: • Changing from higher fat meats, such as beef to lower fat meets such as chicken • Avoiding butter, instead use a butter substitute • And probably most importantly, increasing the intake of water
Therefore, if you are already thin it would seem reasonable that getting thinner wouldn’t erase your double chin. However, many people in this situation have been helped by making a couple of dietary changes. Remember lowering the fat intake in the diet is helpful in eradicating the larger fat cells which become most apparent in the face. Drinking water always has beneficial effects in burning the fact off of fatty areas of the body, providing the person is not overeating at the same time. Finally targeting exercises to the part of the body where the exerciser is trying to decrease fat is invariably beneficial. ✖
40zROCK / FASHION
2016’s FASHION TRENDS by Sandra Wyckoff
It is officially the new year, which means the new trends of 2016 are pushing 2015 styles out the window.
We had a glimpse inside what the new year’s trends might entail with Fashion Week. There are so many textures that appeared on the runways that it may get hard to make up your mind on which you prefer most. That is where the patchwork designs come in, utilizing either single materials or multiple styles in order to create some rather intriguing looks. Transparency was a trend that made it big time in the spring/ summer 2015 trends report, but it never faded away. Even though most of them are unrealistic to wear on the streets, it is one of the absolute biggest trends on the runway for the fall and winter season of 2015-2016. Although we are used to welcoming new styles with open arms, these trends seem to get more bold year after year, making 2016’s trends daring, and statement-worthy.
MSGM Patchwork Coat | Roche black Sheer Lace Blouse | Altuzarra Camel Bootcut Trouser | Gianvito Rossi Suede Pointed-Toe Pump | Yazbukey Black Camera Graphic Bag |
West Hollywood 8360 Melrose Avenue Los Angeles, CA 90069 Newport Beach 3732 East Coast Highway Corona Del Mar, Ca 92625 coming soon
Santa MonicA 1631 Montana Avenue Santa Monica, CA 90403 Encino Marketplace Ventura Boulevard at Havenhurst Encino, California 91436 coming soon
40zROCK / HEALTH
THE TRUTH ABOUT WHY DIETS FAIL
✽ Lana Kerr A Wellness Coach Life Counselor, Nutritional Consultant, President of TLK Wellness Inc.
We all have experienced the feeling of apprehension when we step
For many of us, this may be our second
on the scale to check our weight. You can feel a knot in your stomach,
or third diet, where we have lost 10 lbs,
and you start to flinch when you see that dreaded number on the scale. Those familiar feelings of failure start to creep in, because you
20 lbs or more, only to gain back the weight we lost in a short period of time. Or we have lost some weight and can’t
have been trying so hard to stick to a diet that has made you tired,
seem to lose the remaining pounds in
cranky and in a constant state of hunger. Although your magic number
those areas that it just seems to stick to
doesn’t appear on the scale, you can still envision yourself losing a
few extra pounds, only to realize that dieting has become more of a frustrating way to drop a couple of sizes.
You may be have lost weight, but
gained that same ten pounds back. Except each time you lose it and gain it back, you also gain another five pounds. By now you need to lose twenty-five pounds or more and the fat is now in places on your body it wasn’t in before. DIETS DON’T WORK—IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT The truth is there is a real problem with diets. A major reason we are unable to lose weight or why we regain the weight we have already lost over and over again in a short period of time, is physiological.
The answer lies within a single
gland in our bodies, the hypothalamus. It controls weight, hunger and metabolism. When the hypothalamus is off balance, the fat you eat becomes stored fat in areas of the body you find hard to lose and dieting only addresses the symptoms of a body, not in balance.
When trying to achieve permanent
weight. You need help from someone
individualized system that takes into
weight loss, it is important to make sure
experienced in the use of this to treat
account your blood type and circadian
the weight you lose comes from stored
weight issues. Also the quality of the
rhythms. We can teach you healthy
fat and NOT muscle. Dieting can starve
medicine matters as well as how it
food combinations that will boost your
the body and use muscle for energy. It is
is administered. This treatment is
energy to levels you never thought
not easy to replace muscle once it is lost.
guaranteed to give you results very
possible and keep your heart healthy.
The hypothalamus controls how the
quickly if used correctly.
fat you consume is used by the body. If the hypothalamus is off-balanced, the body is not using the fat you consume properly and you then develop too much stored fat, which leads to weight gain.
There are many factors that can affect
the hypothalamus, to cause it to be off balance. Some of these factors are stress, pregnancy, menopause, food additives such as MSG, high fructose sugar, and hydrogenated oils, to name a few.
YOU NEED TO ADDRESS EMOTIONAL EATING
At Your Fat Loss Coach we are not
Emotional eating is eating for other
all have personal experience with the
reasons aside from hunger. Instead of a growling stomach, it’s the emotions that trigger the gorging. Before anything else, even before learning to eat healthier foods, you need to address any emotional eating issues. We use a technique called subconscious restructuring to help you
YOU CAN ACHIEVE PERMANENT WEIGHT LOSS
identify emotional issues behind your
Achieving permanent weight loss
is not as impossible as you may have once believed. First you need to reset your hypothalamus, which requires a treatment using hCG (Human Chorionic Gonadotropin). HCG is a natural protein hormone that helps to re-balance your body. Once treated successfully, you will be able to maintain your new healthier
eating habits and reprogram these
only experts in this Protocol, but we program; and have all, because of it, finally conquered the weight battle. Our clients, as of today over thousands of them, receive a personal Coach that ensures each client completes the program successfully, receive all the tools and knowledge necessary to reach their ideal weight and keep it off forever. This is NOT a diet, but a program that ends which brings your body back into balance.
YOU NEED NUTRITIONAL COACHING
With the above items, you will need
Remember if you’re tired of fighting the
to learn how to eat for your unique
battle of the bulge, call Your Fat Loss
body physiology. Your body has a
Coach, where losing is our Goal! ✖
We invite you this year to finally
go all the way! Lose it and keep it off.
unique genetic signature that does not respond to a one-size-fits-all approach or if it does, the response is minimal
and is not sustainable. You need an
40zROCK / JWTDO: Mind Matters ✽ Dr. Amber Robins, MD Is a Family Medicine Resident and graduate of the University Rochester School of Medicine and Dentistry. Her areas of interest are women's health, preventative medicine and medical journalism.
NEW YEAR, NEW YOU STRESS-FREE
Every new year we hear lots about losing weight, eating healthy, or even changing our wardrobe to become a new you. All these things are important and exciting, but I find that they miss a core element of you being able to concentrate on rejuvenating your mind. Our mind is at the core of any change that we make. Why do you think after a couple of months all the weight that we lost creeps back? Losing weight requires continued motivation and determination to keep going. Even picking the newest and trending wardrobe to become a ”new you” takes brain power.
Our brain power, which includes our
a comfort and become overweight or
will provide food for our family or being
thoughts and mindset, dictate our ac-
obese. It’s a slippery slope to be on. We
sure we won’t be the next person fired
tions and those actions dictate the di-
can find ourselves going further away
from our jobs.
rection of our lives. What can get in the
from the person we want to become.
way of our brain power? STRESS. Stress
can you make changes to lose weight
can stop you in your tracks, turn you
ily, significant others, or self-imposed
or be happier in the new year? Similar
upside down, make you feel isolated
stress, these can all affect our health
to running away from a bear about
and possibly leave you feeling weak. A
negatively. Keep in mind, all stress isn’t
to attack you, you are simply trying
constant state of stress can take your
bad. Sometimes stress can help us
brain power away and make any at-
finish up work that needs to be done
tempts for lasting changes in your life
or hurry to make a change in our lives.
very difficult. Now can you see why we
However, constant stress is NO GOOD
have to start with our mindset for the
new year? If you are not convinced just keep reading.
Whether it is stress from work, fam-
FIGHT OF FLIGHT STATE Looking at stress scientifically, being
in a constant state of stress is similar
Being in a constant state of stress sim-
to being in a state of “fight or flight”.
ply stinks. It makes so much of our lives
The “fight or flight “state is part of our
worse. Did you know that stress causes
sympathetic nervous system. A primal
or even worsens chronic diseases like
system that was made to be activated
high blood pressure or depression? An
in life or death situations like if you
article published by the American Psy-
are running away from a bear com-
chological Association states that being
ing towards you. Of course, in either
stressed can make depression and
of these cases, our blood pressure will
obesity worse especially during and
increase, our heart will start racing, and
after our forties. Also, this same article
our adrenaline will sore. But can you
emphasizes that individuals who strug-
imagine being like this on a day-to-day
gle with obesity and depression have
basis? Unfortunately, a lot of us are.
higher average stress levels. Sometimes
We can constantly be in life or death
people who are depressed find food as
situations such as wondering how we
With all these things in mind, how
HOW TO STUMP OUT THE STRESS Stress is not good for you are the people around you. How can you escape this cycle? How can you kick this bad habit of stress? HERE ARE WAYS TO HELP REDUCE STRESS IN YOUR LIFE. Mindfulness: Recently, there has been an upsurge of medical providers encouraging their patients to meditate as part of a practice called mindfulness in medicine. Meditation is not only for those who pray each day. You do not have to be religious to do this. Simply put…it is meditating on what is going on in the present moment. During these times of mindfulness, you focus on the elements of “now” which may include anything from breathing techniques to visual exercise experiences in order to focus on relaxation. By practicing mind-
fulness, studies have shown improvement
mends that we partake in 30 minutes
push of our country’s health care system
of blood pressure, depression, anxiety
of moderate exercise at least 5 times a
is to make sure that we all remain as
and even the perception of pain. A great
week. When I talk to my patients about
healthy as possible. We hope to prevent
mindfulness website is www.calm.com.
this recommendation many feel that it
diseases from occurring. In order to do
This is a free resource that leads you in
is not achievable and may even cause
this, meeting with your doctor or health
stress trying to figure out how to get
care provider yearly is a must. It is also
important for you to feel comfortable
talking with your medical provider. In
When we exercise, our body gives us
My suggestion to you, if you are in
this category, is to think of a physical
your forties, this becomes especially im-
activity that you like to do like danc-
portant because you are more intensely
ing, walking, running, etc. If you like to
screened for breast cancer, diabetes, and
dance, start dancing for 30 minutes to
high blood pressure. Our job is to keep
your favorite jam once this week. Before
you in good health. Your medical pro-
you know it, you work your way up to 5
vider can also give you specific tips on
times a week. We won’t be able to stop
how to lead a more stress-free lifestyle.
you from dancing because it is some-
start for the first time. We feel aches and
thing you enjoy!
in 2016. In order to make the lasting
pains from muscles we didn’t even know
Meet With Your Doctor: Going to the
changes in your life, you have to begin
existed. But don’t stop exercising! Once
doctor is not an easy task for some
we are able to push past the
people. From scheduling an appoint-
pain, then we finally find that “feel
ment to actually taking the time to go to
the doctor can be tough. Life can get so
busy where it feels like going to the doc-
some real “feel good” stuff. The “feel good” comes from hormones called endorphins. Many people have heard of endorphins and don’t believe they exist. Why? Because when we first start the process of exercising it is the exact opposite of feel good. We moan and groan because exercise can hurt when we
Helpful ways to get to the place of
Your mind is the core for your change
by being free from constant stress. I always love to see the success stories of people losing weight, changing their hair-styles, and feeling good. My deepest hope for you is that you can have all these things, and have them for a
“feel good” include making sure you
tor can be a waste of valuable time. I am
have a good stretching routine prior
here to tell you it is not.
to exercising. By effectively stretching,
your muscles are warmed up and ready
doctor can be the most valuable time.
to go as your exercise routine begins.
A lot of my female patients tell me that
Also, drinking water during and after
their time with me as their doctor may
your exercise routine can help relieve
be the only time they have where they
some soreness. Lastly, creating a weekly
can focus on themselves. It’s a time to
routine for exercising can help as well.
acknowledge that we all are human and
The American Heart Association recom-
that our health matters. The biggest
From my experience, going to the
lifetime! Here’s to the new year! Here’s to the new you! ✖
40zROCK / JWTDO: Physical
VAGINAL ATROPHY Just what the doctor orderd (JWTDO), Dr. Prabakar explains medical conditions in laymans terms without all the medical jargan.
âœ½ Dr. Cheruba Prabakar, MD Is a board certfied OBGYM from Brooklyn, NY. She specializes in treating woman with fibroids, irregular bleeding, pelvic pain and uterine prolapse.
Dryness down there? Pain when you have sex? Feels like you’ve lost all lubrication? As a gynecologist, these are common complaints that I receive from women in their forties and fifties. of life as a result. So what can be done
as well as your family medical history
term used to describe the symptoms
to improve symptoms?
prior to choosing to use these. Often,
listed above. The word atrophy literally
topical estrogen creams work for most
means to waste away or degenerate.
process of improving vaginal atrophy
women. These are available in a very
Not a very pleasant thought, is it? As a
and resuming normal sexual health and
small dose and work locally. Other
woman ages, she loses the hormone
function. The first line of treatment re-
forms of estrogen are available includ-
estrogen. The loss of estrogen directly
mains natural oils like coconut or olive
ing pills, patches, gels, sprays, and rings.
impacts vaginal tissue, along with
oil. These are cheap and easily avail-
These must be used with great care
several other body systems. The most
able. Moisturizing the vaginal area with
and only for the shortest duration of
common reason women lose estrogen
these oils and using them as a lubricant
time needed. You must consult a doctor
is because they enter perimenopause,
is a good idea. Women should also
prior to considering hormonal therapy.
which is described as the years around
consider using other lubricants such
age 45, but can also be earlier for some.
as KY jelly which decrease pain and
atrophy, don’t fret. It is a part of the
Women who have had their ovaries re-
discomfort with intercourse. If these
natural aging process. Be patient
moved abruptly also lose estrogen and
don’t work, vaginal moisturizers are a
with yourself and know that there are
can suffer the same effects. While heart
great next step. They do not require
several options available to treat your
health, neurologic health, and bone
a prescription from a doctor and can
symptoms. Make an appointment with
health suffer from the lack of estrogen,
be found in any pharmacy. They are
your gynecologist now! ✖
vaginal symptoms are often much more
slightly more expensive than lubricants,
noticeable and problematic to women.
but worth the try.
Vaginal atrophy is the medical
Vaginal dryness often leads to pain
There are several steps to take in the
If the above suggestions fail, you
and discomfort during intercourse,
may consider using hormonal prod-
leading to frustration in the woman and
ucts. You must consult your doctor
her partner. Many suffer a poor quality
and thoroughly review your medical
If you are suffering from vaginal
I f you have any questions or concerns you would like to ask Dr. Prabakar go to www.40zrock.com and leave a message via the contact page.
40zROCK / JWTDO: Self-Help
THE SECRET TO A SUCCESSFUL NYE RESOLUTION by Dr. Rebecca M. Johnson, Psy. D.
We tend to embrace the “go hard or
It’s a new year, which probably means you have made at least a few resolutions to do better, be better, or take better care of yourself. That’s great! You know the challenges you face: time, motivation, access, family, and the unpredictability of life. So how do you overcome those pesky challenges? By focusing on smaller steps. For example, if your goal is to workout 3 times per week, but right now you only work out once (or less) it will not be easy to suddenly triple that.
go home” mentality when it comes to life changes. This sets us up for failure because it is not easy to make major changes and it takes time for them to stick. Creating new habits can be expected to take at least three weeks, if you enjoy them, and even months before they become so “routine” that you do them automatically. Those people who go to the gym every morning before work did not simply wake up one day and decide to start going daily. They built up to it, and it became routine, the same way your morning coffee stop may have become routine. So, how do we
create healthy habits without failing and
about others – you aren’t wired that way!
habitual, meaning you get used to doing
deciding to quit? Set small, accomplish-
Set aside a reasonable amount of time
it and do it almost automatically, and
able goals. If the goal is to go to the gym
for yourself every week to focus on “you”
social. Where people fall short is at social
three times a week, but right now you go
and also accept that if someone calls you
outings with friends, where they are
once, start by adding one additional day.
with an “emergency” you are going to
accustomed to drinking. It is hard to say
Perhaps make the goal going to the gym
go to them. This isn’t a failure - simply
“no” because you enjoy it and it is “just
twice a week for the next month. If you
reschedule your “me time” for another
what you do” when you are out. Part of
a miss a couple days, that’ ok! Because
day that week! Just don’t let yourself put
the habit is the physical lifting of a glass
every day you go beyond the 1 day each
it off too long.
or bottle to your mouth. To help with
week you would normally have gone is an accomplishment! Once you have gone twice a week for an entire month, add on the third day. Most importantly: don’t see missing one day as a “failure.” Life happens. You are human. Give yourself a break and commend yourself for when you DO succeed.
VOLUNTEERING: Giving back has been shown to have tremendous mental health benefits – if you actually follow through. Time and convenience are probably the biggest challenges for this resolution. Break this one down by setting small goals. For example: Step one might be to spend January FIND-
Here are some tips for other common resolutions:
ING a charity you’re comfortable with.
DIETING: Don’t expect yourself to be
and work you are comfortable donating.
able to successfully change your diet overnight. Break it down into achievable goals. For example: decide to only eat out 3 times a week if you were doing 5. Once you’ve done that successfully for a few week, cut down to 2 days, then 1. Counting calories? Calorie deprivation can give you brain fog, which feels horrible and does not help you accomplish anything else! Cut down gradually, losing 50-100 calories off your diet at a time (and make sure you have a doctor’s supervision before making any major dietary changes). SELF-CARE: Deciding to put yourself first? Great! But you can’t just stop caring
Step two is to decide what kind of time Most people probably can’t realistically donate more than one day/weekend per month to start, and might even choose to only volunteer during major fund raisers, which might only occur once or twice per year. Any work you can donate from home (calling donors, helping with their website, etc) might also be a good way to break into volunteering. Just make sure you keep your commitments manageable and realistic. They will be grateful for anything you can give. DRINKING LESS: Another common
this, make sure you order something else to drink (non-alcoholic) to help trick your brain into thinking you are still partaking in your normal routine. Also, bynot ordering (or re-ordering) right away, thus delaying your gratification, you can decrease how much you drink overall. Let yourself sit without adrink for a few minutes. This may feel uncomfortable and unusual, but the more you do it the more comfortable you will become with not having a drink in front of you. Of course, if you really feel you CAN’T stop drinking, you might want to seek professional help.
The take home message here is to
break your resolution into small, accomplishable goals. Each goal you reach is a milestone and gets you one step closer to your true goal. Also, expect some setbacks. They are normal, expected, and somewhat predictable. Give yourself a break, and just try again tomorrow. ANY progress is still progress – be nice to yourself! After all, change is hard. ✖
resolution is to drink less alcohol. This one might seem simple, but can be very difficult because drinking is both
40zROCK / SPIRITUALITY
WOMEN DISCOVERING THE IMPORTANCE OF PRIORITY & POSITION IN ORDER TO BE RULE-MAKERS by Merneen Spearman
Get your priorities straight! Luke 10:38-42 / New Living Translation (NLT) 38 As Jesus and the disciples continued on their way to Jerusalem, they came to a certain village where a woman named Martha welcomed him into her home. 39 Her sister, Mary, sat at the Lord’s feet, listening to what he taught.
In this particular text, we see clearly
that two standards were set by these
sense and would be worthwhile to posi-
two special sisters. Martha is concerned
tion herself to learn from Jesus; while
about the work that is to be done, the
he was among them. She felt that it was
details and the big dinner that needs to
her utmost priority to spend time with
be served. Coupled with her distress, she
someone who could empower her to be
is also concerned about why her sister
a “rule maker.”
is not helping her and prefers to sit at
We should discover from this text that those who make the rules are those who understand:
40 But Martha was distracted by the big dinner she was preparing. She came to Jesus and said, “Lord, doesn’t it seem unfair to you that my sister just sits here while I do all the work? Tell her to come and help me.”
❦ Martha fails to see the priority of
41 But the Lord said to her, “My dear Martha, you are worried and upset over all these details!
Women who know how to prioritize
Mary’s example teaches us, even today,
will definitely position themselves to
that you must be able to discover what
make the rules instead of just following
takes precedence in life in order to be a
the rules. Even in scripture, we see how
“rule maker.” ✖
42 There is only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it, and it will not be taken away from her.”
the feet of Jesus and be taught. The two standards that show up in this text is PRIORITY AND POSITION: being with Jesus and it causes her to be in the wrong position ary discovers that being with ❦M
Mary discovered that it makes better
❦ P riority: what is important and what should come first
❦ P osition: where you are—your location, your stance, attitude and outlook.
Jesus should be her main priority
Let’s learn from Martha’s position and
instead of dealing with the details
sense of priority, that you will not be one
of the dinner; which put her in the
who makes the rules by being distracted
by the details and being concerned about what someone else is doing.
being distracted by the minute details and being overly concerned about the meager things in life; such as, what we will wear and what we will eat can cause
firstname.lastname@example.org “One Word Can Change One’s Destiny” www.ladymbooks.com
us to deposition ourselves to set an unprecedented standard for generations to come.
40zROCK / RELATIONSHIPS
THE PROS OF ONLINE DATING by Cheyenne Bostock
In this day and age, there are more and more people taking advantage of technology and applying it to their lives.
We are no longer in the era of the
acter, you can also see their relationship
in your social network that could poten-
telegram where our sources of com-
status, what friends you have in com-
tially add value to your life on some kind
munication were extremely limited.
mon, location, education, career, and
of level. If they were good enough to
Social networking sites such as Face-
other pertinent information all before
be added to your network, they should
book, Twitter, and various sites specifi-
saying hello. You’ll notice that people
at least be good enough to entertain in
cally designed for dating have made it
on social networking sites always reveal
conversation. You don’t have to date any
easier for people to make a connection
things about themselves; not realizing
and every person who shows interest in
for whatever purposes one chooses
how much it reflects their character.
you, but there’s no harm in entertaining
(keeping in touch with friends, business,
You could probably learn more about a
the men who do show interest in you.
dating). There’s no such thing as “on-
person’s character in 1 minute by view-
With any and everything you do in life,
line dating”. “Online” is simply the place
ing their online profile than in 1 hour of
you want to go where you’re celebrated,
where the introduction is made between
talking to them in person.
not tolerated, so feel free to give those
men on your friend list a chance if they
The beauty of meeting someone
internet, there’s no obligation to actu-
online is you have the opportunity to
ally pursue one another, it’s simply an
research any of your admirers before tak-
exchange of words amongst two online
ing action. Take Facebook for example,
friends. You’ll come to find through your
you can look through their pictures and
conversations and interactions that there
get a feel of their personality and char-
are many interesting people right there
When you meet someone on the
prove to be worth it! ✖
Follow @ AskCheyB.
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40zROCK / EFFECTIVE PARENTING
MARTINI ANYONE? Shaken, Not Stirred (I think not) by Deirdre Berry
Everyone knows the famous James Bond saying,
"shaken, not stirred" as he orders his drink. But did you know there are various differences between a martini that has been shaken and one that has been stirred?
There are two distinct differences that
I felt like I had three mothers and had to
rental home on an island in South Caro-
illustrate the forthcoming point. A shaken
live up to each ones expectations. It's no
lina to enjoy a week of family time. When
martini is generally colder, shaking a
secret that it wasn't until I grew up and
the invitation first came I tussled with
martini allows for dissolve making
travelled off to college was I able to see
what I was going to arrange for my mom
the martini taste sharp (also known as
the value and blessing of that house-
as she was used to spending thanksgiv-
bruising the gin). A traditionally stirred
hold structure. But I did, during that time
ing with me. A month before the event
martini is smooth. The delicate flavor of
frame, understand that we were a 'family'
my aunt called to say "is your mom com-
the gin is not compromised. While we
in every basic sense of the word. After
ing?" I said I didn't know she was invited.
may enjoy shaking things up in order to
I exited college and faced situations
The response was something like 'this is
experience the edgier side of life by tak-
where I needed to decide where I would
a family reunion type of thanksgiving!
ing chances, the blended family should
go for holidays I again learned that fam-
She's still part of this family and we'd
be stirred so as to avoid compromising
ily is everlasting. The first holiday I spent
love to have her join in!' So, the gently
the delicacy of each individuals person-
at my fathersâ€™ house with my (step) mom,
blended mix of family included my mom
ality, moods, attitudes, perspectives,
her children, AND my mom was both
who delighted in catching up with the
interests, goals and beliefs. After all,
drama free and relaxed. My mom and
sister in laws she hadn't seen in over 20
none of the family members can or
(step) mom don't 'hang out', but coming
years. We have learned the art of blend-
should stop being who they were prior
together as a family for special occasions
ing our family with love and acceptance.
to coming together as a new family unit.
and/or holidays was always encouraged
and has always been enjoyable and cozy.
shake it up baby, but when it comes to
resided with my mom, grandmother,
Can't we all just get along? Yes, we can!
the blended family, I'll take mine smooth,
grandmothers husband until his passing,
a bit less chilled and please refrain from
great grandmother and cousin. I repeat
of my siblings and I, my dad and (step)
blended families come in many forms!
mom, cousins, aunts, uncles, and literally
This, I believe, was a bigger challenge
just about everyone from my dads side
than the more 'traditional' family in that
of the family travelled to a beautiful
After the divorce of my parents I
For thanksgiving a few years ago all
It may be fun to twist & shout and
shaking. I'd prefer mine stirred. âœ–
40zROCK / FINANCES
GET STARTED NOW by Charlotte Stallings
My husband and I had known each other six and a half years before we shared our financial information with one another. While we were both born and raised in the Midwest, we came from very different places relative to our perspective on life and money. My husband was the youngest of three children; he loved new, shiny and expensive things. Buy first; figure out how to pay for it later was his mantra. I was the oldest of five children and had been the bossy family caretaker (think Thelma from Good Times). In my heart I was a penny-pinching, spend-thrift, but on paydays, I lost myself at the mall and my favorite boutiques. Do you see how our differences created a perfect backdrop for the financial challenges that were sure to come?
Today we have Glen Beecham to
eyes closed, I anxiously bit my lip and
home to eat,” said one family member.
thank for our financial freedom. Glen
held my breath in anticipation of a big
When we needed a new car, we bought
held a series of financial seminars at our
groan (followed by a few choice words)
an old van from a friend and we slid
church, and although we were reluctant
I expected to hear from my husband. I
around town with bad brakes and bald
to attend at first (because people would
also expected to hear Glen’s feet shuf-
tires until we could finally trade it in for a
think we had money problems…which
fling, no...running to the door to get
used Taurus station wagon (yes, I drove a
we did), we became regular attendees.
away from this impossible situation.
station wagon back in the day!)
The next topic on the schedule was
But to my surprise, and relief, neither
‘Planned Spending’; we were on the
happened. There were no deep breaths,
the ‘envelope system’, we developed a
neck rolls, shifting eyes, or finger point-
spending plan, we saved money and we
ing. Glen simply said, “Good, now that
eventually got our first luxury car, only
envelopes to help curb spending (our
everything is out on the table, in the
3-years-old at the time. We talked about
first introduction to The Envelope System)
open, we know exactly what we’re work-
our money, and planned out our pur-
as well as other common sense ideas
ing with. I’m here to help, not condemn,
chases. We stashed our cash in the right
that could help people manage their
so let’s get started!” That was one of the
investments, and started putting money
money better. On the way home in the
most liberating and productive meetings
aside for our daughter’s college educa-
car, my husband and I didn’t speak about
I had ever had. Glen encouraged us to re-
tion. And to top it all off, we survived
what we heard and we didn’t discuss it
arrange our bank accounts to handle our
several layoffs, a tropical storm and a few
when we got home either. Finally, over
cash flow, and he shared tips on how we
hurricanes as well!
the weekend, I got up my courage and
could became completely accountable
asked him what he thought about the
to one another for our spending.
seminar. “Maybe we should ask Glen over
and see if he can help us,” he said.
“easy breezy” as one of my nieces says,
but it wasn’t! It was one of the hardest
Glen talked about putting cash into
When Glen arrived at our home,
I’d love to tell you this process was
But things got better. We used
LESSON I wish someone had told me that getting started is the hardest part to managing your money effectively. But until you start, you can’t turn things around in
he asked us to gather every credit card
things I’ve ever had to work through.
and installment loan bill we had and lay
We’d come home from work on Friday
them out, end-to-end, on the table. My
nights and watch reruns on television
heart was beating so fast I thought it
instead of going out for a movie and
SO HOW DO YOU GET STARTED? HIT REFRESH
would jump out of my chest as I revealed
dinner. Guests were disappointed when
Yes, getting started is the hardest part, so
all 20 of the bills I had racked up over the
the parties at our house got less fancy. “If
don’t try to tackle all of this at once. There
years. Yep, 20! With my head down and
that’s the food you’re serving I’m going
are plenty of ideas and approaches
your financial life.
that you can learn from friends, family, colleagues, in publications and online. All you need to do is start on one of them. Pick one aspect of your finances that will have the greatest impact, and go full steam ahead. Here’s a short list - what resonates with you? Where do you want to start? • Talking about money - with family, friends, roommates, spouse, etc. • Building cash reserves. • Developing positive, wise, spending habits. • Budgeting and paying bills. • Fraud and identity theft
Once you’ve decided what you want
to work on, formulate a goal around it and write it down in a positive sense, with lots of detail. You also want to make your goal SMART, which is Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Timesensitive. And then talk about it! Tell your spouse, your friends, your neighbors and your family about those goals. It will make you accountable and you’ll get lots of encouragement.
And once you achieve one goal,
then go on to the next one… ✖ Charlotte Stallings is a Financial and Personal Accountability Expert.
40zROCK / FORTY, FABULOUS & FREE
To Find Happiness, Peace Your Version of Success
& 38 /
by Tanai Benard
I think I would be the best candidate
This list is representative of my life, it
to attest to living a life with unlimited
represents me. I happily own each and
Recently, one of my best friends effort-
possibilities. Since my life has recently
every one of these titles. However, I do
lessly diagnosed her mother with having
gone viral many may know me as the
not let this list define my future. I made
a case of the Strong Black Woman Syn-
single mother with the three adorable
it a goal to create five personal strategies
drome. Strong Black Woman Syndrome
children who travel the world while liv-
in order to find my own place of peace,
is a crippling disease where we (Black
ing an adventurous life the Middle East.
happiness and my version of success.
women) shoulder the burdens of others
My social media accounts, specifically
Here are my goals that I created for
while slowly losing our ability to be the
Facebook and Instagram, allow people
myself and follow religiously.
greatest us we can be. In this process
to see my life. On the surface, my social media shows life of a young black single mother surfing in Bali, sipping wine in Italy, and celebrating my birthday on yachts. These visuals could potentially portray that I’ve had an easy life, that I’m someone who has never faced trials and tribulation throughout my life. However, if anyone looks at my life on paper, you get a clearer picture. You could even say that parts of my life read like a negative sociological study. I’m an individual who more than likely should’ve been relegated to a life of hardships and low wage employment. How does my life on paper read you may ask: I am:
OWN YOUR HAPPINESS In order to find a place of peace you must own your own happiness and your personal journey. Acknowledging that the “Joneses” are not your friends and there is no need to keep up with them is the first step. We live in a society where, to many people, money, glitz, and glam is equivalent to success and happiness. Ask yourself if the people who have reached this status are truly content and happy with life? It seems many have mastered the projection of happiness. I have been guilty of this too. When I was married, I wanted everyone to think my marriage was perfect. I even had my closest friends thinking my marriage was almost perfect. However, this was so far
• An African American Woman
from the truth that eventually I couldn’t
• The product of a single parent household
hide it anymore. So the marriage ended. The key to this step is for you to decide
• Had an out of wedlock pregnancy
what makes you happy. I challenge you
• A single mother of thre
to create your own personal definition
• A former welfare recipient
of happiness and success.
we eventually lose who we are because we are trying to save others. I made a mental commitment to put myself first and not internalize the pains and the responsibilities of others. This doesn’t mean you need to stop sowing seeds or block out the people around you that you love. However, it does mean that you need to invest in things that make you happy and give you peace. I urge you to commit to doing at least two things a month that makes you happy and focus solely on yourself. It could something as simple as purchasing a Groupon for a massage and facial or soaking in the tub while sipping a glass of wine and listening to saxophonist Jeff Kashiwa playing in the background. It’s imperative that you make the choice and say I choose me for a change. It doesn’t mean you love your children, siblings or friends any less. Rather, it means that sometimes you have to love yourself more.
• A former drug and alcohol abuser
WATCH THE WORDS COMING OUT OF YOUR MOUTH
make you think you’re not good enough
visions and goals based on what society
Life can throw us tremendous curve
and it can lower your self-esteem in the
says we should expect and what is
process. As I reflect on those one million
meant for us to have. We’ve been trained
NO’s I realize they eventually brought me
to believe that the American dream con-
to that one YES that placed me here in
sists of having a career, exchanging mari-
the United Arab Emirates today. I gradu-
tal vows, having 2.5 children, purchasing
ated from the university with an Indus-
a home with a fence and, if you’re feeling
trial Technology engineering degree in
frisky, owning your own business. After
2010. After graduation, every interview
you’ve worked your fingers to the bone
I went on ended with me receiving an
and paid for the home and cars, you
email thanking me for my time but re-
retire at 70 and try your best go at travel-
gretfully informing me that a more expe-
ing to see world. This thinking never
rienced candidate had been chosen for
once takes into account that people
the position I’d interviewed for. I wasn’t
get sick, people die, people divorce and
even important enough to get a letter or
sometimes people are just not happy. If
phone call. Believe me, I went on A LOT
we live life based on this programming,
of interviews and those NO’s took their
we can hinder ourselves and limit our
toll on my mind and self-esteem. When I
goals. Personally I didn’t think that it was
finally grew weary of being rejected I de-
possible for me to live a productive life
cided to put my degree aside and try my
outside of America. I wasn’t aware that
hand at teaching. To me, those one mil-
it was okay and possible for me to travel
lion NO’s should have been a YES. I real-
the world as a black single mother. My
ized those same NO’s brought me to the
thought process and vision was con-
exact place where I am now. Teaching
tained domestically. I never allowed my
opened up an opportunity for me that
thought process and the vision of my fu-
would have never been presented to me
ture to become global, until it did. Once
if any one of those NO’s had been a YES.
I changed my thinking from domestic to
I am a firm believer that everything hap-
global, my life took off. It is time for us to
pens for a reason. A NO today can take
become out of the box thinkers and no
you to a life-changing YES tomorrow.
longer allow the world to define the way
EXPECT NO’S BUT KNOW A YES IS COMING
This one YES can easily catapult your life
our lives should be lived.
into a place where you never knew you
This strategy is very straightforward
were capable of existing.
result in the same exact path as mine,
balls, some of which we have no control over. What we do have control over is the words we speak into the universe to overcome these challenges. Life and death are in the power of the tongue; and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof (Proverbs 18: 21 KJV). I was reared to believe this scripture. Consider the words in your day-to-day interactions.
Sometimes, a simple, “How are
you doing today?” from your family or friends can turn into an insurmountable venting session consisting of everything that has gone wrong with your day. A session that brings about a woe is me attitude and ends with an I can never catch a break statement can sometimes come off as being selfish. No matter the amount of hardships the world may present you with, your words are an element that you have total control of. When your day isn’t going as you want it to or those curve balls are coming so fast you can barely jump out the way, try speaking life and positivity into your situation and see what happens. You may be pleasantly surprised.
and to the point. Don’t let a million NO’s discourage you. All it takes is that one yes that can change your life forever. Hearing NO can be hard on you. It can
GLOBALIZE YOUR VISION Unfortunately, most of us are “domestic” thinkers by nature. We dream and build
Although these five steps may not
they will change your life. Who knows? One day our paths might just cross. ✖
40zROCK / TRAVEL
The World’s Most EXTRAORDINARY SLEEPOVERS by Sandra Wyckoff
Trying something new opens up the possibility for you to enjoy something new. So grab your PJs and bed down for a night to remember with these quirky overnight experiences.
UNDERWATER ROOM AT MANTA RESORT, ZANZIBAR, TANZANIA
levels, with a lounge upstairs, a rooftop for diving off, and a bedroom beneath sea level, with 360° views of pale blue
Sleep with the fishes in the best possible
sea and colorful tropical passersby such
sense. If you think sleeping underwater
as bat fish and trumpet fish. We’re just
is impossible, think again. Various hotels
wondering what the sea life looking in
worldwide are offering submarine
makes of it all.
experiences, but most spectacular is the Manta Resort in Zanzibar. A wooden
q The underwater room at the Manta
hut stands alone in the ocean, 250m
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A SIT DOWN
WITH SANDRA by Alicia Brownell
40z Rock Founder, Sandra Wyckoff, gets real about growth, loss, and what it takes to be
a real game changer!
/ Photography: Bobby B Photos / Hair & Make Up: Prefinity Art / Cosmetics: Lamik / Hair Extensions: Extensions-Plus /
FORTY-SOMETHING & GAME ON
If you have been paying attention to current happenings lately, you may have noticed several women in their forties who are at the top of their game. Particularly Taraji P. Henson. With her role in the wildly popular series Empire, she finally seems to be getting some of the recognition early fans of hers have been rooting for. Her recent Golden Globe win has brought some validation to a career over 15 years in the making. Monique Pressley is also winning in her forties despite being surround by much controversy. Serving as Bill Cosby’s lawyer amid his growing super-scandal has not appeared to shake her. The trial attorney and ordained minister remains confident, poised, and seems to be growing in popularity even while the court of popular opinion’s jury is still out regarding her client. TheRoot.com recently published this: “No matter where you fall on the Bill Cosby “Did he or didn’t he?” divide, everybody can agree: His lawyer Monique Pressley is a badass. And choosing her to represent him may have been the smartest thing he’s done since “A Different World”. Likewise, 40z Rock founder Sandra Wyckoff is winning in her forties. With participation and support for 40z Rock growing, it was time to sit down with Sandra and get her insight on being a game changer in 2016.
With thoughts on the future, Sandra graciously took time
to reflect hoping that doing so would help inspire others. “It takes courage to be a game changer. You can’t be afraid to grow”, said Wyckoff. She is certainly speaking from experience. Sandra had built a career as a successful image consultant and boutique owner. After some unfortunate turns she found herself without her boutique and having to start over when
she had been settled in. A seed was planted when Sandra
/ Photography: NyTimes /
was selected to be a part of a My Black Is Beautiful Campaign. Although she was the oldest person at her photo shoot, she remembers the sense of confidence that followed and wanted
TARAJI P. HENSON / Photography: Pride Publishing Group /
to share it with others in her age group. Sandra held a photo shoot of her own for the first 40z Rock calendar. The response
It takes courage to be a game changer. You can’t be afraid to grow.
to her casting call was overwhelming. Women shared the truth about how being forty-something made them feel. They were elated to be a part of something that was encouraging them to have fun, be outgoing, look glamorous, be energetic and experience something new at their age. Sandra decided to not only keep that energy going but to build it up. That’s how 40z Rock came to be. Out of the loss of one business, a whole movement was given room to bloom. In the spirit of growth, Sandra opened up about a recent personal milestone connected to loss. When asked about her spirituality and how that plays a role in her development, Sandra said “I am at such a good place. I have more peace than ever before”. That peace gave her what she needed to be able to return home to Alabama for the holidays, something she had not done in 16 years. She couldn’t bare the pain of being there after the loss of her mother and several other close family members. Now, Wyckoff says that she can testify that God will mend a broken heart. In true 40z Rock fashion she is rising, learning and sharing out of her own personal journey. That is how you change the game.
Sandra shared this thought, “I am a game changer because
I am showing women around the world that forties ROCK. Even if women were questioning it and having concerns about embracing it, our light shines bright enough that it makes people rethink their view about age, especially forties”. Our trailblazing leader is showing no signs of slowing down. She intends to see more of the world by traveling, and she is even open to dating should the right man cross her path. When asked if she newly picked up any new hobbies Sandra answered, “My new hobby is doing me”! ✖
Divine Feminine by Kim Bady
At nine years old, just a few months before my 10th birthday, I started my first period. When I saw the red spots, I knew exactly what it was, but I wasnâ€™t prepared for it in the least.
I was ashamed and I remember like yesterday hiding my
underwear under the bathroom sink. My mother found
ing I sit and listen to the wisdom despite the discomfort and I
them and I finally confessed that I put them there, although
follow my body’s natural rhythm instead of going against it and
she already knew it. She told me to tell her the next time I had
cursing it. This helps me live my life in flow. When my body tells
my period so she could be sure I was prepared. The follow-
me to slow down I listen and rest. As a result, I am rarely sick. I
ing month my cycle came so fast. It seemed like it was merely
feel my breast, more than for my monthly breast checks, be-
days. I told my mom it was that time of the month and she
cause these symbols of a nurturer sometimes need nurturing. I
brought a sanitary napkin and asked me if I knew how to use
know what arouses me and what doesn’t. I listen to the voice of
it. I was still ashamed so I told her that I already knew what to
my Intuition and move beyond merely thinking to make daily
do with it. Of course I didn’t and halfway through the day at
choices, to listening to my sacred, inner guidance system, a
school it was evident. One of the girls in my class told me I had
true gift from God given to each of us.
something red on the back of my pants. I told her that I sat on
a red marker and asked the teacher if I could go to the nurse.
ignored and previously rejected parts of ourselves. It’s as if we’ve
The nurse gave me a change of clothes and showed me how to
unlocked the chamber that holds our most authentic self and
properly use the pad. I was beyond embarrassed. I was morti-
when we do, we access more peace, joy, freedom and abundance.
fied. I remember this like yesterday and it marked the first time
that I rejected the beauty of my womanhood and it set me up
God’s gifts within us? In your quiet prayer/meditation time
to reject myself for decades to come.
place your right hand over your heart and your left hand over
But what if at nine years old I could have been celebrated
your pelvic area just beneath your navel. Bring your attention
and learned how to celebrate myself even in the midst of pain
and keep your attention there while you breathe deeply sev-
and discomfort. And what if as a teenager I would have learned
eral times. Give gratitude for the beauty and gifts of your wom-
to honor my body in ways that made every change an honor-
anhood and then just sit in silence for a few minutes, honoring
able rite of passage instead of preferring the looks, gifts, and
and listening. Not only should we do this on a regular basis, we
experiences of others. And what if I learned early to listen to the
should do this especially when we need to make an important
wisdom my body had to share only if I would pay attention to it.
decision. By doing so we will begin to express ourselves more
creatively, have more energy because we become more inten-
I’m so glad it’s never too late to start celebrating what we
Now in my 40’s I honor my period. When I ‘m menstruat-
We become more balanced when we honor forgotten,
So how can we celebrate the divine feminine and honor
once rejected…our sacred selves, created in the image and
tional with where we expend it, and we’ll have healthier, richer,
likeness of God. When we honor our sacred selves, we ulti-
fuller lives. I’ve made this a part of my daily spiritual practice.
mately honor God by acknowledging His handiwork. One of
I love what Carl Jung says, “Who looks inside, awakens.” Cel-
the names for God is El Shaddai or Almighty mentioned nearly
ebrate, awaken and access more of your feminine energy! Not
50 times in the Bible, meaning the mighty one with breasts. So
only is it a game changer, it is a world changer. It is what the
honoring God, honors the divinity of our own femininity.
world needs, for women to rise in their own authentic power,
healed and whole. For when we accept ourselves, let go of old,
In my study on the sacred feminine, I’ve learned that there
were early civilizations where the women would be consulted
limiting, B.S. (belief systems), and heal, we can heal our planet.
with during their bleeding time because there was said to be
Let’s teach our daughters to do the same. ✖
hidden wisdom in her womb. Today we only pay attention to the power of the womb when having a baby, but I believe there is
wisdom we can access deep within us every day of our lives.
7 50 /
1. I will wear my crown and take shit from no one.
you and yours. Keep yourself up to date on what’s going on
This does not mean float on a cloud of arrogance and feel as
in our country and world and how you can get involved
if the world is beneath you. This affirmation carries the energy
(no matter how big or small) to initiate positive change.
of knowing your worth and trusting your intuition and the
process of life. Don’t forget this is your life, your journey and your purpose and no one can tell you about you and the desires of your heart more than YOU.
I WILL TAKE CARE OF ME FIRST SO I CAN GIVE MY BEST SELF TO OTHERS. Putting everyone and their needs before your own is detrimental to your overall well-being. This is your life and you will only
I WILL NOT TAKE ANYTHING PERSONALLY. This is one of my favorite authors, Don Miguel Ruiz’s four agreements in his life changing book, The Four Agreements.
get one chance to live this life. Put good and healthy food in your body, drink plenty of water, value your sleep, stay active and do things for yourself regularly that make you happy. You
People are on their own journeys and you are unable to
are worth it and the people you love will also benefit greatly.
control what they think, do or say. The one person you have
total control over is you. Taking things personally is taking things as your personal truth. If it’s not true, don’t cosign it. It’s the most challenging one for me personally, however, it lends the greatest rewards.
I AM LOVE, I GIVE LOVE AND I RECEIVE LOVE. Know that you have all the love you need right inside of you. When you choose to share your love with others, let it be absent manipulation and expectations of what they need to do to keep your love. Love is a gift and should be given with
I WILL NOT HOLD GRUDGES. Holding a grudge is allowing someone to live rent free in your
sincerity and it should please us just as much as it pleases the receiver. You also deserve to receive love with the same
heart. This does not imply you will not hold others accountable
authenticity and genuineness.
for their actions, it just means you are not going to hate them
(or on them) for what they did. Grudges are negative energetically and these thoughts can cause stress and anxiety which
MY PAST ARE PAGES IN MY BOOK OF LIFE THAT I’M STILL WRITING.
may lead to other unwanted ailments. It’s not worth the price
Embrace your past, the good and not so good experiences. You
of your peace of mind and healthy and loving heart.
never know how sharing your story may be a blessing to some-
one else and remind them we are not never alone. Your past is
I WILL STAY CONNECTED TO THE WORLD AROUND ME. 2015 was amazing and it was also tough. You saw people protesting and fighting against injustices across the world and fear
a testament to your evolvement and elevation and when you apply your lessons learned you are able to co-create a beautiful and fulfilling life. Keep reflecting, keep living and keep writing. ✖
has risen to an all-time high. It’s easy to become desensitized to what’s going on around you when it has not directly affected
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40zROCK / RSVP
Are you in your 40z?
Join and be a 40z Rocker!
Dear Prospective 40z Rocker, When you turned 40, what was the first thing that came to your mind? Honestly…Was it something like, “It’s all down-hill from here or I can now live MY life?” Whether positive or negative, did you realize there are billions of women asking themselves those same questions around the world? Better yet, did you know there was an organization Founded in Houston, Texas that tailored to the needs of women in their 40’z? YES… An organization where you can share empowerment, support, and make positive changes in your community. Women from all walks of life, all beautiful hues and tones, sizes and shapes with a positive outlook on life.The organization is 40’z ROCK, Founded by Sandra Wyckoff; a woman of class, couture, and culture. When she refers to a woman who ROCKS, she is distinctly referring to You, a woman who has done the work on herself, and has reached a level of awareness and balance; mentally, physically, and spiritually. She believes that once a woman has tapped into these areas of her life, then she ROCKS! And when she ROCKS, she can ROCK the world. We are looking for women who ROCK to join our movement. Are you a Rocker? We think so. It takes A Rocker, To Know a Rocker! If you know you have what it takes and would like to Rock the World with us, please visit www.40zRock.com to find out how become part of this growing movement.
TOGETHER WE CAN ROCK THE WORLD 54 /
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Our mission is to encourage women to no longer center life around everyone else. This year will be the beginning of a new consciousness to l...
Published on Jan 3, 2016
Our mission is to encourage women to no longer center life around everyone else. This year will be the beginning of a new consciousness to l...