real talk with kim
Quarterly Magazine / Issue No. 11
Correct, reset and Transform
Oxygen’s “Preacher’s of atlanta” Star
Contents / Issue No. 11
➺ ON THE COVER
Meet Pastor Kim, the ‘Preachers of Atlanta’ Star Conquering Hell in High Heels—and Tutus!—With Her Millions of Followers
Feature 44 Have We Become
Comforatable With Violence Against Women?
46 How Oil and Natural Gas Empower Your Life
50 Reduce, Reuse, Recycle
In Each Issue 4
6 Must-Haves: Ready, Set, Get Inspired!
Food: Primo Guac
8 Q&A With Mia: Let’s Get it (W) Right!
Beauty: Face It: A New Year, A New You
Fashion: Seeking Your Sole Mate?
1 4 Fashion: Make Your Point
Health: How to Curb Anxiety
J WTDO: Preventative Medicine: Advanced Directives: The Most Important Conversation of Your Life
20 JWTDO: Physical: Menopause
22 JWTDO: Self-Help: How to Create Successful Resolutions
24 Relationships: Ceasing the Fire & Calling it Quits
26 Spirituality: Living Blindly What Is the Future God Has for You?
28 Effective Parenting:
How to Talk to Your Child About the Issue of Police Brutality
30 Finances: Small Business Lenders at a Crossroads — A Cautionary Tale from the Fight Over Payday Lending
F orty, Fabulous & Free: Be About That Life
Travel: Destination Los Angeles, California
40zROCK / Editor's Letter
A time to correct, reset & transform
Am I the only one, or does it seem as though the year has come and gone so fast. In my case, I’m happy to see a New Year on the horizon. With time racing faster than the speed of lighting, I found it to be essential to take the time to stop for some good-ol’ self-reflection. Something we rarely make time for because of our chaotic and so called fabulous lifestyles. As for me, 2016 had a lot of bumps and bruises along the way, but through it all I’m happy to say there was a beautiful rainbow on the other side. Taking the time to reflect during my self-evaluation, I realized that no matter what, I will be grateful for every day, hour and every moment. I call it “savoring the moment”; something that was non-existent before. The reason being, I was too busy trying to figure out the future. Now, I’m thankful for each day in a way like never before. Now that I have reached a place I call my "re-setting phase", my perception on so many things have changed. Have you ever felt like all you wanted to do was hit a re-set button and start over? Me too! But what I realized it is by God’s grace I am re-starting with each day he gives me. Now, I allow myself to be ok with where I am in my life. I don’t stress myself or make myself believe that all is lost because I am not where I pictured myself being. The kids, husband, house, cars and fancy clothes... well, ok I have to have the fancy clothes!! But really, attending church on a regular basis has reminded me of Isaiah 55:8, “God’s plan is not my plan.” So no matter what I would like to believe I know, at the end of the day my life is already planned out. With this in mind, it confirms for me I am just where I am supposed to be. I have to admit it feels wonderful to allow myself to freely be transformed into the daughter, sister and friend that I was designed to be. Whoever said transformation was easy, they lied! It hurts like hell, but it’s worth the pain. Just from those simple moments of reflection, I believe that any life worth living is worth reflecting on.
Sandra A. Wyckoff Editor-in-Chief
Follow 40zROCK /
F L I X M
/ Contributing Writers
40zROCK Sandra Wyckoff
Tonya D. Bradley
Dr. Cheruba Prabakar, MD
Is an advocate for underserved communities and raises awareness for domestic violence, teen pregnancy prevention and lupus.
A board certified OBGYN who specializes in treating women with fibroids, irregular bleeding, pelvic pain and uterine prolapse. She is trained in minimally invasive surgery and offers the latest treatments in laparoscopic and robotic surgery. Dr. Prabakar is the author of several manuscripts and presents her work at national conferences. She also serves as a television medical news contributor to ARISE America. Learn more at her website: www.drcheruba.com.
P 50 / Reduce, Reuse, Recycle
P 20 / JWTDO: Physical: Menopause
P 44 / Have We Become Comfortable With Violence Against Women?
CEO / President at Find Your Purpose, LLC P 28 / Effective paRENTING: How to Talk to Your Child About the Issue of Police Brutality
Jonathan & Kach a Filipina Founders of Two Monkey's Travel company, the British couple has been on a world journey since 2013... 65 countries and counting! P 38 / TRAVEL: Destination Los Angeles, California
Derrick Hollie Founder of Reaching America, a 501(c)(4) organization developed to address complex social issues impacting communities. P 46 / How Oil and Natural Gas Empower Your Life
Kevin Kimble Is the principal of KBK Consulting Group, and the founder and director of policy development of the Financial Services Innovation Coalition, a group advocating on behalf of a coalition of nonbank consumer lenders, small-business lenders and community groups. P 30 / finances: Small Lenders at Crossroads—A Cautionary Tale from the Fight Over Payday Lending
Dr. Rebecca Johnson, Psy. D., PC Dr. Rebecca was awarded her Psy.D. and M.A. in Clinical Psychology by the California School of Professional Psychology and holds an active Georgia Psychologist License.
Graduate of Clark Atlanta University with a Bachelor‘s degree in Mass Communications. Rice has worked in marketing/sales, public relations and travel throughout her career. In 2009 Wendie felt God‘s call on her life to encourage and heal others through the sharing of Christ. In 2010 she was commissioned as a Christian Lay Counselor in Atlanta where she works primarily with women, and also mentors at-risk youth across the city. P 30 / SPIRITUALITY: Living Blindly What is the Future God Has for You?
Ann Inez Hardell Photographers
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Is a family Medicine Resident and graduate of the University of Rochester School of Medicine and Dentistry. Her areas of interest are women's health, preventative medicine and medical journalism. P 18 / JWTDO: PREVENTIVE MEDICINE: Advanced Directives: The Most Important Conversation of Your Life
Stacy D. Wilson Stacy is a natural hair fanatic, so much so, she started her on blog called Free 2 B Kinky. When she is not giving tips about natural hair, or writing her column Forty, Fabulous and Free for 40z Rock Magazine, she is a dedicated English teacher in Guangzhou, China. #teachersrock? P 34 / FORTY, FABULOUS & FREE: Be About That Life
Fashion & Interior Designer, and Community Philanthropist she wrote Ceasing the Fire and Calling It Quits. P 24 / RELATIONSHIPS: Ceasing the Fire & Calling It Quits
P 8 / Q&A With Mia: Let’s Get It (W)right!
Dr. Amber Robins, MD
As founder of Metamorphosis, Inc., an organization that encompasses the life changing Metamorphosis Women‘s Conference. Mia is an inspirational speaker, who encourages others with uplifting life stories and skills that apply in both the faith based and industry sectors. She is also a sought after national motivational speaker, women’s conference presenter, and corporate work / faith / life balance coach.
P 22 / JWTDO: Self-Help: How to Create Successful Resolutions
40zROCK / MUST-HAVES
Apple iPhone & Watch
Trust: Mastering the 4 Essential Trusts
Bring to life the passion and the desire to get fit. / Watch: $399 & up; iphone: $199 & up
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z Ready, Set, Get inspired! z z z
There's an art to finding that special “someting”.
Jive Juice Assorted Juice Pack
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Easily add the health benefits of juicing into your life daily. / $60
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FOOD / 40zROCK
Prep Time to TableTime
Just when you thought it couldn’t get any better, along comes Kale and Artichoke Guacamole! Oh yes, take everything you love about guacamole PLUS spinach and artichoke dip, ditching the heavy cream-cheese and cheese portion, then mash them together to create a healthy, superfood-filled dip recipe that’s perfect for any occasion!
Heat extra virgin olive oil in a medium-
Top with fried kale for a fun presenta-
sized skillet over medium-low heat then
tion. Add enough extra virgin olive oil
add kale, season with salt, and saute
to generously coat the bottom of a
kale and artichoke Guacamole
until tender, 4-5 minutes. Once cool
medium-sized skillet then heat over
enough to handle, transfer kale to a
medium-high heat. Add 1/2 cup finely
Ingredients / Serves 4-6
cutting board then chop into small
chopped kale then saute until kale
2 cups packed chopped curly kale 1 Tablespoon extra virgin olive oil salt 2 large avocados 1 lemon 1 clove garlic, pressed, microplaned or minced half a14oz can artichoke hearts, chopped
pieces and set aside.
has turned dark green and the edges
(freeze other half)
chopped kale and artichoke hearts then
DIPPERS: tortilla chips, vegetables, crackers, etc.
feel crispy, 1 - 1-1/2 minutes, stirring In a large bowl combine avocados, the
frequently. Oil will splatter so have a
juice from /2 lemon, garlic, and salt then
splatter shield handy, and the exhaust
mash until very smooth (alternatively
fan on. Transfer kale to a paper towel-
you could process in a food processor
lined plate to drain, sprinkle with salt,
then transfer to a large bowl.) Fold in
then sprinkle on top of guacamole. ✖
taste and add more salt and/or lemon
SOURCE: Iowa Girl Eats, www.iowagirleats.com
juice if needed. Serve immediately.
40zROCK / Q&A With Mia
Let's Get It (W)right! Mia is helping people to positively change their lives. If you have a problem and need a solution, she can help you get your answers.
Mia W right
tor & M
?'s / 8
Q Mrs. Mia, please help me! My husband watches porn on a consistent basis . I have told him nu m er ou s times how I feel about it. For som e reason, he seem s to believe it's no lem, but I do! He t a probdoesn't want to go to counseling and up. I try not to feel I'm fed so angry, but I feel like he should ha honest with his pr ve been oblem before we got married. If he see it as an issue do esn't and I do, what wou ld you suggest? To est, I am really ab be honout to give up an d just let him be sin watch as much po gle and rn as he likes. -Sig ned Disgusted. A Based upon your ques tion, I would ask if at the heart of your question his lack of being truthful and honest with you ab ongoing issue or is out an it the fact that his engagement is po rnographic? It is apparent th at your husband do es no t see any problem with consistently watching porn, de spite your protests. I would question Per that, his other activities such as if he goes to strip bars, or if he has en gaged in an extra marital affair? Thos things that the ot e are the her spouse will na turally begin to qu estion. You see, the danger of consistently watch ing pornography is that it opens the spirit an d mind to sexual ac ts ou ts id e of the marriage. While many may ar gue that it can en hance the sex betw husband and wife een a , that theory is high ly debatable, parti when the two have cularly opposing approach es to th e idea of watching porn. Marriage is truly give and ta ke, a sacrifice for ea needs. He needs to ch other hear your perspect ive in th is area of concern because the unde rlying thought is th at if he is watchin g porn, can I trust him. Mar riages are built on love and trust. I w to hear of a couple ould hate divorcing because of po rn og raphy. I hope that you two will be able to work throug h th e ch allenges that you face and continue to build a love that lasts.
Do you have some life pressing que
stions you need to get answers to?
M F L
Ask Mia and get it (W)right!
Q Pastor Wright, I will be 38 in a couple of months. I have been divorced since 2013. Things were so bad, that I didn’t take anything from my divorce but my sanity and freedom. It has been a struggle trying to literally start over from nothing. Now that I am back going out on dates every now and then, I realize men seem to be interviewing me, trying to see if I have a 401k, savings account, a house, etc. I will be the first to admit my financial situation is horrible. I am just wondering do you think men still look for women with good hearts and other wonderful qualities or is it about a good size bank account? I feel like I just want to tell them “I’m broke, do you want to proceed or not?” What do you think? A
Dating rules have changed so much in recent years. With access to nearly any information via the internet
and a little peeping action, you can sum up a person’s life with the click of the mouse so it seems. However, we should remember that an aspect here and there about a person only gives a glimpse of someone and it does not tell the complete story. Starting all over after a divorce can be both challenging and rewarding. I love that you said that you left with your sanity and freedom. I might add that you also left with new opportunities and perspective as well. From that, I doubt that you will enter a marriage or even relationship moving forward that doesn’t take into consideration how you are treated mentally as well as in the other key areas of life. In honesty, you took away much more and walking away from material possessions only freed you from looking at “things” and remembering things that no longer add value to your life. In this fresh start, look for others who have the right perspective. Yes, you will be “interviewed,” and you should be “interviewing” as well. I am laughing as I write this and hope that it won't be misinterpreted by anyone. In essence, an interviewer has a list of qualities they are looking for in a potential candidate. At the same time, the potential candidate also has a list of wants, needs, and demands. While this isn't the nature of a romantic relationship, you should be aware of what you want, whether it is dating or simply friendship. Usually, after a few conversations, most people can determine if they want to pursue or run! Some of the questions you are being asked are very personal and honestly no one's business until a relationship is progressing towards marriage. Financial disclosure is important but I would not advise sharing it early in the relationship and if asked too soon, I would question why? Men and women are looking for people with good hearts. When you connect to the right person, for the right reasons, you and your future mate will work through any shortcomings including financial. Be sure to ask God to be the head of your search committee. Be blessed. ✖
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40zROCK / FASHION
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40zROCK / FASHION
make your point by Sandra Wyckoff
Yes, flat shoes can be sexy!
Tory Burch Amiee Flat / $250 Sam Edelman Hera Pointed Flat / $49.99
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40zROCK / HEALTH
How to CURB anxiety
Get a handle on your anxiety so it doesn't keep you down. It’s just a breath away, literally.
✽ Jamie Price Wellness expert and co-founder of Stop Breathe & Think.
Over 40 million U.S. ❝adults experience the feelings
of worry and unease that typically characterize anxiety.❞ Get the FREE Stop, Breathe & Think app
We all experience anxiety in one form
relationship to it. Often anxiety has to
go. It can help to simply note them as
or another. Over 40 million U.S. adults
do with concern about the past or the
“thought” or “feeling”, and then bring
experience the feelings of worry and
future, so it can be helpful to focus on
your attention back to your breath.
unease that typically characterize
what’s happening right now, in the
anxiety. Sometimes these feelings can
present. One of the best ways to do
breathing anywhere—while in traffic,
be helpful. They can ignite the motiva-
that is through mindful breathing. By
waiting in line, even while you exercise.
tion to prepare for a meeting and keep
simply focusing on the breath, you can
And remember, your thoughts and feel-
you on your toes when you’re dealing
bring yourself into the present and take
ings aren’t facts. Emotions, when left
with oncoming traffic. But they can also
yourself out of the mental loop that
alone, last about 90 seconds. By practic-
get the best of you and take on a life of
perpetuates anxious feelings.
ing mindful breathing, it will help you
step back and recognize that they are
find a comfortable seat, where you can
like clouds passing through the sky,
ally quite normal to feel anxious, but
sit up straight. Take a few minutes to
changing all the time.
what would otherwise be a temporary
focus on your breathing. Notice your
feeling can trigger a waterfall of judg-
breath as it comes in through your
with anxiety can be found on the free
ment that cause anxiousness to last
nose, fills your lungs, and goes back
app Stop, Breathe & Think. ✖
much longer. When you get caught up
out through your nose. Become aware
in critical thoughts surrounding anxiety,
of the sensations of your breathing,
Jamie has studied and practiced meditation under
like “what is wrong with me? or “why
and notice where you feel your breath
the guidance of a traditionally trained buddhist
aren’t I better at...?”, or trying to iden-
most—maybe in the stomach, or chest.
teacher, Lama Chodak Gyatso Nubpa since 2000.
tify everything that could go wrong,
At some point, as you continue to
it makes it worse. Before you know it,
breathe, you will notice that you have
what was once a ripple has become a
become distracted or lost in thought.
When this happens, just acknowledge
the thoughts or feelings that arise
Our moods fluctuate, and it’s actu-
The good news is you can curb
anxiety simply by changing your
To practice mindful breathing,
You can actually practice mindful
Simple guided meditations to help
with open curiosity, and then let them
40zROCK / JWTDO: Preventative Medicine
Advanced directives: The Most Important Conversation of Your Life
✽ Dr. Amber Robins, MD Is a Family Medicine Resident and graduate of the University Rochester School of Medicine and Dentistry. Her areas of interest are women's health, preventative medicine and medical journalism.
These questions, known as advance
in mind you may have a parent who you
directives, are asked to every individual
care for, a child who needs medical help,
no matter if you are in your 40z, a child,
or an unexpected trauma occur. Having
or an elderly person. All people are
this information can make a difference
asked their advance directives when
for everyone. Think about it. How would
admitted to a hospital. Some patients
you feel about making a decision on
who are asked their advance directives
whether your loved one wanted CPR
“If anything should happen to
are prepared and know exactly what
or even life support? It’s an uncomfort-
you while in the hospital, whether
they want in life-threatening situations.
able feeling, right? Studies have found
However, many people are shocked
that when family members have to make
by the thought of these questions.
medical decisions for a loved one, the
breathe, would you like everything
Some people have never discussed
most common negative effects are stress
done: CPR where we press on your
their wishes for emergent situations or
when making decisions, guilt over the
end-of-life care. Who would want to,
decisions made, and doubt regarding
right? Unfortunately, those who have
whether they had made the right choice.
throat to help you breathe, and/or
not thought about this topic are at risk
medicines to help your heart
of having things done to them in the
additional stress to your family while
hospital that they may not want.
making sure you or your family mem-
bers get the treatments that are wanted
your heart stops or you can’t
chest, a tube placed down your
It can be scary to think about and
So what can you do now to prevent
stressful for not only you, but your family
at the time they are needed? Here
as well. You are not alone in thinking
are a few tips to document your
this. And who would really want to think
about advance directives especially if
you feel like you are a healthy 40-year-
friends about what you would like in
old? This is not just for you though. Keep
life-threatening situations. To assist
First, talk to your family and close
you in this conversation, a “Physician Orders for Life Sustaining Treatment” (POLST) form is available online that specifically addresses what options are available in situations if your heart stops or you cannot breathe. Carefully read over the form. There is also
and to express your concerns. Both
decision for you. You may change your
a place on the form where you can
you and your medical provider will
mind several times on what you may
choose the person (family member or
then sign the form. The POLST form
want. There is no right way for this
friend) who you would want to make
should be copied into your medical
process of decision-making. However,
medical decisions on your behalf if
chart while you keep the original form.
having this conversation early, even in
you cannot do so for yourself. Identify
If at any time you decide to change
your 40z, may be the most important
a person, and talk with them about
elements of your POLST form, be sure
conversation of your life. ✖
what you would want for advance
to make your doctor aware. Also, if you
directives. If you have specific ques-
find that you are going to a hospital
tions, write them down. When you are
that may not have access to your
ready, continue this conversation with
medical records, bring this form with
your doctor who will formally fill out
you to give to the medical staff.
the form for you. Be sure you bring
the person you have identified as your
ily, friends, and doctor, may be over-
decision maker with you too.
whelming. It is hard to imagine you,
as a beautiful 40-something-year-old,
During the appointment with your
Discussing this topic with your fam-
primary care provider, make sure to
in a life-threatening situation where
ask any questions you may have about
your life is at stake. I would suggest
the advance directives for clarification
taking your time in making the right
Resources: Link to “Physician Orders for Life Sustaining Treatment” (POLST) form: https://www.cdph. ca.gov/programs/LnC/Documents/MDS30ApprovedPOLSTForm.pdf Spoelhof D et al, “Implementing Advance Directives in Office Practice.” Am Fam Physician. 2012 Mar 1;85(5):461-466
40zROCK / JWTDO: Physical
MENOPAUSE Just what the doctor orderd (JWTDO), Dr. Prabakar explains medical conditions in laymans terms without all the medical jargan.
âœ˝ Dr. Cheruba Prabakar, MD Is a board certfied OBGYM from Brooklyn, NY. She specializes in treating woman with fibroids, irregular bleeding, pelvic pain and uterine prolapse.
Can’t sleep? Feeling like you’re burning up? Experiencing mood changes, irritability, and fatigue? Are you periods out of whack? You might just be nearing menopause. The idea sounds scary to most. While the idea of a period-free life seems appealing, the symptoms that accompany this transition can be difficult for some. Here’s what you need to know.
The average age of menopause in the United States is 52.
with sweat. Some women experience vaginal dryness and a loss of libido. Others become irritable, fatigued, and are unable to sleep. The symptoms can last from a year to 10 years! Menopause can negatively affect your quality of life and it is wise to see your gynecologist to find a way to manage symptoms.
There are several different types
of blood clots or cancer, or you have
of treatment for those undergoing
liver or gall bladder disease, you are
menopausal symptoms. The first
not a good candidate. Hormones come
group includes behavior modifica-
in many forms—pills, patches, vaginal
tions. Increasing physical activity,
rings, and injections. The type and dose
quitting smoking, reducing alcohol
of hormone you may use will depend
Menopause is defined as the
intake, dressing in layers, using a fan/
on several factors including whether
absence of a period for ONE year.
AC are all helpful. If these do not work
you have had your uterus removed or
The average age of menopause in the
in improving symptoms, your doctor
not. Hormone therapy should be used
United States is 52. There is a genetic
may prescribe medications that affect
for the shortest amount of time pos-
component too that plays a role in its
the chemicals in your brain, leading to
sible to control the most bothersome
onset— women whose mothers expe-
improved mood, and decreased hot
symptoms you are experiencing.
rienced menopause earlier are more
flashes. Over the counter homeopathic
likely to undergo the changes earlier
supplements such as soy and black
remember to exercise regularly and
too. Some women undergo meno-
kohosh may be useful, but these have
focus on the types that bear weight—
pause as early as 42 and others as late
not been FDA tested and approved.
aerobics and weight lifting. Eat a
as 57. Once you reach menopause,
You should use these with caution and
health, balanced, nutritious diet and
your ovaries will stop producing as
ensure that they don’t interfere with
limit alcohol. If you develop any spot-
much estrogen, which is an important
other medications you are using.
ting or bleeding after menopause,
female hormone. The ovaries will not
inform your doctor right away. ✖
produce an egg every month, and you
hormone replacement therapy may be
cannot get pregnant.
considered. Your doctor will best assess
if you are a candidate for this type if
I f you have any questions or concerns you would like to ask Dr. Prabakar go to
menopause are hot flashes; where
treatment. For example, if you have
www.40zrock.com and leave a message
waves of heat can drench your body
undiagnosed bleeding, a history
via the contact page.
The most common symptoms of
If the above treatments don’t work,
Once you reach menopause,
40zROCK / JWTDO: Self-Help
How to Create
The new year invariably comes with a number of resolutions for self-improvement: weight loss, quitting smoking, exercise, socializing, self-care, and other self-betterment goals. Wanting to improve yourself is a fantastic goal, so why is it so darn difficult?
Rebecca M. âœ˝ Dr. Johnson, Psy. D. Received her Psy. D. and M.A. in Clinical Psychology from the California School of Professional Psychology and holds and active Georgia Psychologist License.
❝W e feel more motivated when we succeed, but if we set the bar too high we are likely to feel overwhelmed and give up.❞
We tend to add these goals on top of already demanding schedules — schedules which have made accomplishing these goals pretty difficult in the past. Turning the calendar does
tions, as these will help propel you for-
mean you have failed and should give
not magically add time, patience, and
ward when your New Year momentum
up. It simply means you missed a week,
energy into our schedule, yet we tell
begins to waver. List all of the reasons
and you can get back to the gym the
ourselves we are going to make these
you want to do something. Consider
additions. We feel determined. We are
the difference between losing weight
resolute. Then life happens. The key is
because you “feel fat” versus losing
part of setting any resolution: be kind
to set yourself up for success from the
weight to feel better, like the way you
to yourself. Set realistic and incremental
beginning. Ask yourself what you want
look, have more energy, be able to keep
goals for yourself. We feel more motivat-
to accomplish, why you want to accom-
up with the kids, and improve your
ed when we succeed, but if we set the
plish it, how you will accomplish it, and
bar too high we are likely to feel over-
how you will track your progress while
whelmed and give up. Know your own
setting realistic short-term goals.
is also key to overall success. Your plan
limits, allow yourself some mistakes, and
should be specific and realistic. If you
commit to simply trying, and trying, and
seem self-explanatory but we are often
want to exercise more, don’t expect
trying. Want to lose 10 pounds this year?
vague with our goals, which hurts moti-
yourself to go from once a month to
Try aiming for one pound per month.
vation. “Losing weight” is very vague, but
three times per week overnight. Allow
Want to quit smoking? Resolve to reduce
“losing 10 pounds by June” is a measur-
your body and your schedule to accli-
the number of cigarettes you smoke
able, concrete goal. Similarly, “quitting
mate to the changes you are making.
every day, gradually. If it goes up one day,
smoking” may seem like an immense
For this example, begin by going to the
no big deal. You can try again tomorrow.
hurdle to accomplish overnight, but
gym one to two times per week for the
Want to start volunteering? Maybe start
“quitting smoking by the end of May”
first month and plan to work up to three
with once per month and increase as
might be less daunting, and leave room
times per week by February or March.
time, energy, and motivation allow.
for some hiccups.
Also, allow yourself to occasionally
relapse back to your old way of function-
how small or temporary, is worthwhile.
tion may be the most important aspect.
ing, and don’t let this derail you entirely.
Resolutions are not Pass/Fail, so stop
Take time to fully evaluate your motiva-
Missing one week at the gym does not
acting like it! ✖
What you want to accomplish may
The motivation behind your resolu-
How you will accomplish your goal
This leads us to the most important
Any change you make, no matter
40zROCK / RELATIONSHIPS
Ceasing the Fire Calling it Quits by LaShonda Pierce
They say a woman's intuition is more accurate than a DNA test, therefore we must learn to trust our instincts.
When things aren't adding up in your
the truth by how it feels! The truth is in
of a man is better than no man at all" by
once love story relationship, and
action, not words.
the great Betty Wright is for the past tense
Beyoncé 's "Lemonade" album seems as
woman that had no other choice but to
if it was written especially for you, then
is trying and hard & can cause serious
accept a man’s fowl play and foolery.
it's probably time to start picking up the
blows to your self-esteem, and spirit.
pieces to your shattered heart and leave
Allowing a toxic relationship to dwell
standards, and respect that the attrac-
while you're ahead.. Save your sanity &
in your heart can ruin your day to day
tive, hardworking, beautiful, talented,
protect your peace from the love wounds
excellence. We must protect our peace
delightful WOMAN, and leader of the
that this man is shooting in your heart!
of mind and stay away from all things
universe you are deserves. If it's hurting
negative... and if that includes that tall
you, remove it from your life.
responsible for our own happiness.
dark and handsome man that once stole
Often times we expect validation from
your heart, to now breaking your heart
can carry over in the other areas of your
other people when the admiration of the
then so be it…He's got to go sister!!!
life, causing confusion, anxiety, depres-
reflection we see in the mirror should
Protect your Peace!!
sion, and cause you to lose focus on
come from within. We must first love
ourselves before we can expect anyone
in a ruined raggedy relationship. The
cheating, the lies, the drama, is far too
self. Trust and lean on Him to send your
much baggage to carry, and frankly
true king your way, and don't settle for less.
private investigator, social media stalker,
wears you down.
CEASE THE FIRE... And CALL IT QUITS To
and interrogators, trying to prove the
any relationship that doesn't feel like the
man in your life is cheating. You know
Mr. Charlie is just man" , "having a piece
As women we must realize, we are
Time is far too precious to become a
Dealing with the pain of a breakup
It's better to be single and sane than
Lyrics like "Don't Blame Mr. Charlie,
I encourage you to stand firm on the
Staying In an unhealthy relationship
Simply let go and let God. Love your-
love you deserve. ✖
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40zROCK / SPIRITUALITY
WHAT IS THE FUTURE GOD HAS FOR YOU? by Wendie Rice
What if you were blindfolded and someone you trusted gave you instructions to move from point A to point B? Would you follow their instructions? What if you were given two presents to choose from, one unwrapped, one wrapped? Would you take a chance and pick the wrapped gift not knowing what lies inside? Or, would you go with the sure thing? How about this one—what if you were deathly afraid of flying because you couldn’t see the pilot flying the plane, or couldn’t “take the wheel” yourself?
As we can see, each one of these
you. Seek Him at every turn and not
not really there for us when we don’t
scenarios involve trusting and not
move ahead on your own accord.
“see” Him act. This is not the case. God
operating by sight. Stepping out on
is always there and wants to show us in
faith into the future God has for you
glimpses, or even allows adverse situa-
mighty ways. When we’re living blindly,
requires living blindly….not seeing
tions to play out…for His utmost glory
there may be a time where we may also
what’s ahead, but moving forward
to be revealed. Take the story of Mary
feel stagnant, like things are not mov-
and taking the risks to walk into what
and Martha when their brother Lazarus
ing, so we have the tendency to step
might be the greatest blessing you’ve
was dying. Lazarus, a friend of Jesus be-
ahead of God. We have to be careful
came sick. His sisters, whom Jesus also
with this. Living blindly also requires us
loved very much, sent a messenger to
to live patiently, knowing that God is
God has in store for us, it’s also about
tell Jesus that their brother was deathly
working, maybe just not in “our” timing.
surrendering and giving up all of “our”
ill. They were hoping that Jesus would
If we believe, God promises that we will
plans to allow God to exchange them
make Lazarus well and prevent him
see His glory. His word says, For I know
with the plans “He” has for our life.
from dying. Jesus received the message
the plans I have for you,… to give you a
Trust me, His plans are far better than
but He did not act immediately. For the
hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11
anything we can ask, seek, or imagine!
purposes of His glory, he waited two
I think of all the many stories of failures
days to return to Bethany where Laza-
we must be directed through the Spirit
and rejection that people have experi-
rus was. By this time, the man had died.
that is present within. Responding to
enced that have kept them from pick-
When Jesus finally reached the family,
those small tugs and promptings at
ing up and trying something again. The
Lazarus had been dead for four days.
your heart to do something, help some-
fear of the pain from failure and rejec-
By now, the sisters and other followers
one, create something, or even remain-
tion has caused them to retreat and no
of Jesus had lost faith. They expected
ing still, can be clues to His leading.
longer push forward towards the goal
Jesus to take swift action. Martha and
When we’re trying to reach a particular
that God may truly have in place for
Mary both told Jesus that “if you had
destination, we need direction. Prayer,
them. But God tells us to press towards
been here, my brother would not have
reading God’s word, and heeding the
the mark. Philippians 3:14.
died.” Jesus knew that He was going to
Holy Spirit are our keys to getting to
answer their prayer, so He didn’t feel
where God wants us to be. Trust God—
hoped for and not seen. When seeking
the need to prevent Lazarus from dying,
He’ll get you there securely, safely, and
God’s plans for your life, more times than
but for the impact of His power to be
right on time!
not, the big picture will not be laid out
made known through bringing a dead
for you. God will allow you to see small
man back to life.
glimpses of where He is taking you. The
point is to allow Him to lead and guide
can lose hope and believe that God is
When we think about the future
Faith is the substance of things
Many times God gives us no
In seeking God’s future for our life,
Be Blessed! ✖
As it was with the two sisters, we
40zROCK / EFFECTIVE PARENTING
How to Talk TO Your Child About The Issue of
by Terryl Ebony
Parents must ensure the answers don't sow negative seeds that will reap a negative harvest.
There is so much going on in the
speak. Make sure you are calm and not
world regarding racism and police
emotional. Make your child feel safe
brutality. It is a very emotional and
and secure while absorbing the informa-
disheartening subject. Social media has
tion. Come from a place of human love
highlighted many of these heinous acts
and compassion. Tell the truth based on
between police officers and Blacks on
facts, not assumptions or personal bias.
live television. The Digital Age has
Speak on a level that doesn’t cause more
made it impossible to ignore the blatant
confusion. Allow your child to speak and
disrespect we have for one another, as
express themselves freely. Be sure to
human beings. Meanwhile, our children
listen and observe their behavior, tone,
words and analogies. Don’t get too
are watching, hearing, feeling, and talk-
and body language during the conver-
graphic. Keep it simple. With preteens
ing about it. They are asking questions
sation. Acknowledge any undertones,
and teens, you can get more in depth.
and drawing their own conclusions.
negativity, or uncertainty you may
Watch the videos and media together
Parents must ensure the answers don’t
witness; and remember, it’s ok not to
to analyze, interpret, and discuss it as a
sow negative seeds that will reap a
have all the answers.
family. Talk about what to do if stopped
by the police. Take a trip to the local
from all conversations and media cover-
precinct and introduce them to some
versation is what’s needed. Don’t ignore
age. They are too young to process and
of the officers. Show them that not all
your child’s questions unless you want
understand the significance of it all.
officers are bad. At the end of the day,
someone else answering them that may
Seeing or thinking about such traumatic
developing better community police
not share your views or sensitivity to
events can cause long-term psychologi-
relations is best for everyone, and
the matter. To that end, think before you
cal damage. With adolescents, use small
violence is never the answer. ✖
Mindful and age appropriate con-
Children under 6 should be shielded
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40zROCK / FINANCES
Small Business Lenders at a Crossroads— A Cautionary Tale From the Fight Over Payday Lending by Kevin Kimble
>> Many small business lenders, but predominantly those in the “merchant cash advance” business, are squandering their chance to play a constructive role in their legal and regulatory future. This miscalculation can have devastating affects on future innovation in small business lending.
This relatively new group of innovators
happens, small business lenders should
lenders were overly aggressive in the
is just beginning to play a major role in
take the initiative to work with Congress
loans they made, in the collection efforts
the financial lives of small businesses
to develop sound regulations for the
they used, and the legal premises under
around the country and have yet to fully
industry. Establishing industry wide
which they operated. These lenders as a
realize their potential. It will take much
disclosure requirements, rate limitations
whole ignored the legitimate complaints
more innovation before they are offering
and other measures to prevent lender
and worked tirelessly to frustrate efforts
their best products.
abuses not only protects the small busi-
to find regulatory and legal compromise.
ness owners from catastrophic results,
As a result, the payday loan industry and
taking action, and the CFPB looking to
but also helps to legitimize the industry.
its customers have suffered from some-
hire a director for small business lending
With billions of dollars being lent
times overly restrictive State and Federal
(see CFPB Monitor article), the move to
and new lenders popping up each day it
regulations that caused some lenders to
reign in this unregulated market is in full
seems, this enormous amount of small
abandon the market leaving credit de-
force (Mayor…Declares War on Merchant
business lending activity is reminiscent
prived consumers with even fewer credit
Cash Advance). The story of predatory
of the go-go years of the payday lending
options. Had the industry been willing
practices whereby unscrupulous lenders
industry. Filling a desperate need for
to work with these authorities while they
scour Uniform Commercial Code (UCC)
cash to those left out of the traditional
were forming these regulations the dialog
filings for recent borrowers to entice
banking system, the payday-lending
may have resulted in a better solution.
them to take on debt they can’t afford,
marketplace ballooned to heights un-
among other issues, is causing even some
imaginable in such a short span of time.
small business lenders will suffer a simi-
in the industry to believe something must
lar fate. (FDIC ‘Paying Close Attention to’
be done to protect consumers.
industry, tout that their defaults are
Marketplace Lenders…) The complaints
relatively low, and industry observers
of unfair practices and outcomes are
a company that specializes in negotiat-
estimate that they may be close to 15%,
starting to get louder, yet the lenders
ing debt payment terms for small busi-
which may be acceptable. The question
have not come to the table to discuss
ness owners, is seeing an exponential
then becomes what happens to those
what is being done and what more can
rise in the number of clients coming
15% when they default? The sometimes
be done to protect the borrowers while
in for help in consolidating multiple
heart wrenching tales of those who
also giving them access to credit they
merchant cash advance loans and other
cannot make payments on these loans
debts. Many of these borrowers were
are making their way into the media
desperate and likely convinced to take
and have begun to generate a response
growing regulatory problem. Lenders
on a short-term debt solution that
from regulators, much as it did with the
like Vince Arnette of Corporate Rescue,
resulted in a long-term financial night-
payday lenders (Regulatory Road Likely
admit that while they don’t like a lot of
mare (Stacking: Merchant Cash Advance
to Get Bumpier for Alternative Lenders).
regulation, when it comes to lending it
Funders Jeopardize Main Street).
is a necessity. Lenders with this attitude,
control can be sketchy and a few bad
while in the minority, support industry
when it comes to lending it is virtually a
apples can bring the wrong kind of atten-
wide disclosure requirements, rate limi-
necessity. Instead of waiting to see what
tion to an entire industry. Many payday
tations and other measures to prevent
But, amid harsh criticism, with states
For instance, Corporate Turnaround,
While few people like regulations
These lenders, like the payday
As with any red-hot market, quality
If they are not careful, these new
Not all lenders are ignoring this
>> ...it is possible to regulate the industry but
still allow for the innovation and risk taking needed to serve this underserved market.
lender abuses to protect the business
owners and legitimize the industry.
ing self-regulated is not practical nor is
fate will befall small business lenders
realistic or advisable. Everyone benefits
and their attempts to bring innovative
Finance Association (SBF Association),
from the certainty of uniform rules. The
products to the market. ✖
an industry trade association, hopes to
mainstream financial services system
focus on the education of policymakers
operates this way for a reason. While
and customers. However, while most
it may be challenging, it is possible to
companies act honorably and with the
regulate the industry but still allow for
best interests of the customers in mind,
the innovation and risk taking needed to
the lack of oversight makes it possible
serve this underserved market.
for more reckless or aggressive players to
do damage to both the customers and
reported, a number of the larger play-
the image of the industry.
ers in this space, such as Prosper and
The fact that certain States are
OnDeck, have failed to meet profitability
enacting regulations clearly shows that
expectations (Online Lenders’ Stumbles:
abuses are occurring in the industry as
Growing Pains or Flawed Model?). In the
evidenced by Illinois, New York and Cali-
short term this could put intense pres-
fornia’s moves to regulate this industry.
sure on these lenders to employ even
The Illinois bill would bar online lenders
more aggressive loan generating tactics
from making loans in which the total
that may result in a further increase in
monthly payments exceed 50% of the
borrower’s monthly net revenue. A sepa-
rate requirement would require lend-
ness lending industry must do more
ers to disclose the percentage of their
going forward to create a public dis-
loans that have defaulted. In addition,
course highlighting how their innovative
online small-business lenders based in
lending models really help small busi-
other states would be required to obtain
nesses thrive. They must also be open to
Illinois lending licenses. (States Seize
making changes to address legitimate
Initiative on Oversight of Online Business
concerns. If they fail to do this, then
Lenders). Unfortunately, it will not be
they will likely find themselves in the
long before an established set of differ-
same business crushing crosshairs as the
ing and conflicting state regulations is
payday lenders. The anti payday fervor
limiting small business lenders across
severely limited the introduction of in-
the country, and frustrating innovation
novative lending solutions for already
in the space.
credit starved consumers and if con-
Additionally, the Small Business
The industry’s insistence on be-
To make matters worse, as recently
In short, the maturing small busi-
certed action is not taken soon the same
Source Articles See CFPB Monitor article - https://www.cfpbmonitor. com/2016/04/14/cfpb-hires-assistant-director-foroffice-of-small-business-lending-markets-announcesother-senior-leadership-additions/ Mayor Rahm Emanuel Declares War on Merchant Cash Advance http://debanked.com/2015/01/mayor-rahmemanuel-declares-war-on-merchant-cash-advance/ Stacking: Merchant Cash Advance Funders Jeopardize Main Street http://ireport.cnn.com/docs/DOC-1086596 Regulatory Road Likely to Get Bumpier for Alternative Lenders http://www.americanbanker.com/news/marketplacelending/regulatory-road-likely-to-get-bumpier-foralternative-lenders-1074363-1.html FDIC ‘Paying Close Attention to’ Marketplace Lendershttp://www.americanbanker.com/news/ marketplace-lending/fdic-paying-close-attention-tomarketplace-lenders-gruenberg-says-1077718-1.html States Seize Initiative on Oversight of Online Business Lenders http://www.americanbanker.com/news/ marketplace-lending/states-seize-initiative-onoversight-of-online-business-lenders-1080617-1.html Online Lenders’ Stumbles: Growing Pains or Flawed Model? http://www.americanbanker.com/news/ marketplace-lending/online-lenders-stumblesgrowing-pains-or-flawed-model-1080856-1. html?utm_medium=email&ET=americanbanker:e 6657954:934837a:&utm_source=newsletter&utm_ campaign=marketplace%20lending-may%205%20 2016&st=email&eid=a7b6b1f590bf2e985f455db47 b4cebb3
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40zROCK / FORTY, FABULOUS & FREE
Be About That Life by Stacy D. Wilson
It seems that in your 30’s adulating is inching its way to becoming a fulltime career. By the time 40 knocks at the door, its official, play time is over and has been for several years now. Walking over the 40ish threshold changes the game of life and means a lot.
A couple of things on this bucket list
pet unicorns. For the others that are
may include being married with school
stomping a stiletto while raising their
• Every day will feel like a special day because you happily exist in it.
age kids, being rooted in your career,
fisted glass of Merlot, in desperate need
That’s not to say frustrations or doubts
time accrued and money invested
of a fresh start, consider this a prescrip-
won’t crop up like weeds to kill your
in paying a seemingly never ending
tion…Take 1 long hard look in the mirror
newly pursued dream but when it does,
mortgage and retirement plan. Like an
and simply say, “It’s time to invest in a
the newly planted perspective will quickly
ominous black hole, this list never seems
new me and BABY, I’m worth it!”
pluck up those ill-fated situations. This
to bottom out. Don’t get me wrong…all
First let’s look at the benefits of a new you: • Living the divine life in which you were created to live.
will make it easier for you to find your
• Whatever envies you may have for those living and enjoying their life will melt into nothingness.
new chapters of our lives. So we have to
of these things seem to provide safety and value but when they rank higher than your happiness, dreams, and true purpose, therein lies a problem. Maybe you think I’m painting a picture for the best drama of the year award. With all due respect, I’ll say to that audience I admire your life of double rainbows and
• It punctuates your testimony and draws more of the right people, places and things to you.
happy place and maintain it while progressing forward. Life is about growth and every so often we’re going to enter let go of some of our old outdated ideas and goals in order to make space for new dreams and ambitions. So how do we go about making this change?
ings out that resemble the vision that
put some action behind my faith and
This is the time to dive deep into
they hold internally. Computer friendly
be open to being a student of life. Life
thoughts and emotions by asking
people have been known to use tech-
is a classroom and there are so many
yourself what makes you happy. But if
nology in the form of google search for
resources available with college, the
this question feels exhausting to unravel
example, to find pictures and words,
library and/or the internet being the
like excited monkeys with free flowing
and quotes that they can use to make a
most easily accessible. In today’s day
balls of yarn then there are ways to make
power point presentation of what their
and age there are no excuses for finding
sense out of the mental madness. Here
new vision entails. Both ways work ex-
what is needed for personal or profes-
are a couple of things that can be done
ceptionally well and are mainly a matter
sional growth. It’s amazing to be alive in
to help with the internal confusion.
of preference. However, it’s good to be
such an age where an on-line degree can
1. Unleash your thoughts…
open to revisions.
be obtained while uniformed in pajamas
a. Journaling is tremendously therapeutic. The freedom to write whatever one desires and then return to it later for evaluation can be freeing…Especially when frustrated.
3. Plaids or polka dots.
and rollers while watching Family Feud.
When my faith is large and I think about
5. Don’t throw the baby out with the bath water.
b. Praying and meditating can also help to center oneself to get answers. Praying is setting the intention and meditating is clearing the mind to receive the answers and direction. It’s both magical and beautiful. God easily offers the perfect answer to what could be perceived to be a problem.
flips and get all silly, encouraging me to
all the things that I want and desire, like a kid in a toy store, my mind turns throw everything short of dating Bradely Cooper on my goal list. This is problematic at times because like plaid and polka dots, the goals may clash. For example suppose I wanted to go back to school
c. Prayer Partnerships are essential for success. Mathew 18:20 says, “For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.” It’s refreshing to have a sounding board that can be trusted unequivocally with the mind’s inner workings who won’t judge or force feed unsolicited advice. Although sometimes it might be sought.
to become an entertainment lawyer,
2. Imagination precedes creation.
within my right to want what I want but
Now that there are ideas to work with it’s easier to piece together a vision for
how will this fit into my life if I also want to spend quality time with my new born twins while having time for my husband? Unless my name is Linda Carter/ Wonder Woman something has got to give. Vision boards are perfect to refine goals for clarity sake. Yes, it’s perfectly being organized will help to minimize unnecessary conflicts down the road in
what is wanted to upgraded ones life.
pursuing my vision.
Vision boards are excellent for this kind
4. Put some skin in the game.
of a project. Some people go old school
After I’m clear in what I want and need
by cutting magazine pictures and say-
to upgrade my happiness, it’s time to
Know that you’re already fully equipped and have a jewelry box of shimmering assets to pull from. Being the new you probably only requires a little personal tweaking and not a major overhaul. Be generous when looking into what you’re already doing that is going right and upgrade it to make it spectacular so that it fits your new needs. For example you may feel stuck in your 10 year career as a teacher. Does this mean that you should forgo all that invested experience and time and give your co-workers the Jerry Maguire, whose coming with me speech, to pursue being a professional travel photographer? Well, actually you could, if you wanted and it would be entertaining for your boss but what if you made a plan. Possibly even looked for and got hired for a teaching gig in another country where in your free time you could take freelance photographs to sell? By
taking something old and familiar and
believe me, ask the Israelites that Moses
7. You’ve got the keys
transforming it into something new and
was in charge of leading. Philippians
So, you’ve put in the work to become
refreshing, you’ve just helped your tran-
4:6 reads, “Don’t worry about anything;
clear of what needs to change, you’ve
sition to be that much easier.
instead, pray about everything. Tell God
mapped out your course and you’re
6. Every day is Thanksgiving
what you need, and thank him for all he
ready to step out on faith and make it
has done.” This is both an exciting yet
do what it do. Now, it’s time to start the
relaxing scripture. It reminds me that
car, be patient and most importantly for
God has got my back in helping me to
better or worse give thanks on your
achieve my goals. I don’t have to stress
journey to the new you. And just a final
or worry that my prayers big or small will
note if you ever get stuck in traffic and
go unheard or unanswered. Simply put,
want to throw in the towel, just look
He genuinely cares about the old and
at how far you’ve come and lastly
new me. That’s very comforting and for
remember why you started. ✖
In dealing with a perceived glass half empty, being thankful will help to change perspectives, making the glass half. It ain’t always easy to sing Mary Poppin’s just a spoon full of sugar when dealing with an emotionally charged problem. However, having a problematic attitude towards a problem can make a 10 day trip 40 years of agony. If you don’t
that I’m very thankful.
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40zROCK / TRAVEL
Destination los angeles, California by Jonathan Howe of Two Monkeys Travel Hilton San Diego/Del Mar & Hilton San Diego Bayfront
Los Angeles is the city of dreams for many. It is the center of American entertainment industry, Hollywood. It is always sunny in Golden State of California, you will never run out of things to do in LA all-year round.
alk with 1 Wthe Stars at
This unique monument along the stretch of Hollywood Boulevard is one of the must see attractions in Hollywood. The names of the stars that made their mark in the entertainment industry are embedded in a five point star brass-made monument. There are more than 2000 stars on the walk of fame. As you walk along you will pass by several famous attractions like the Dolby and Chinese theaters. Around this area, there are dressed characters from your favorite Hollywood movies, they will ask for a dollar if you like to take a picture.
Hollywood Walk of Fame
elax at Santa 2 RMonica Beach This iconic beach made famous by the TV series Bay Watch is enjoyed by visitors around the world year round. Aside from the 3-mile long beach, rolling waves that is great for surfing, bike and walking
paths there are several attractions to enjoy in Santa Monica Pier. There’s a small
xplore the Venice 3 EBeach Board Walk
theme park, several restaurants and retail establishments. Enjoy the pacific sunset after a long day at the beach.
Just beside Santa Monica beach is the equally famous Venice Beach. The boardwalk is what most people brings to this place. You’ll see unbelievable stunts, people playing music, medical marijuana and anything being sold just to make the ends meet. It’s lively
ee the 4 SHollywood Sign One of the most photographed icons in the world, your visit in Los Angeles is not complete without spotting the Hollywood sign. It is mostly visible from all over the city so you will not miss a spot. It is illegal to get close to the sign, it’s guarded by gates, park rangers and security cameras. A convenient spot is from Hollywood and Highland shopping mall, just outside the metro station.
our Universal 5 tStudios Hollywood Never miss this in your list of things to do in Los Angeles, make sure to visit this entertainment capital of LA. Unlike other franchises of Universal Studios Theme Park around the world, this theme park’s best attraction in LA is the studio tour. You will ride a tram and it will take you behind the scenes of several TV series and movies produced in Hollywood. It’s surprising that some of the places that looked like a real neighborhood in some TV series are actually shot in the studio. My personal favorite attraction of the studio tour is the King Kong 360 3-D. It will take you to the recreated version of Skull Island, from Peter Jackson’s award-winning remake of King Kong. The effects are awesome, you’ll feel like you’re in the movie being tossed around as King Kong and the T-Rex engaged in an
a celebrity 6 Sinpot Beverly Hills If you’re a huge fan of Hollywood celebrities this might top your list of thing to do in Los Angeles. This place also known as 90210 due to its zip code is home to many celebrities in Hollywood. There are tours you can join to visit the houses of some of the big names in Hollywood’s entertainment industry. If you have a taste for luxury brands, you can walk around Rodeo drive and you might spot some celebrities while shopping.
p xplore the landmarks in 7 EDowntown LA One of my favorite movie, 500 Days of Summer was
are also other iconic place to visit here that hosts
mostly shot in Downtown LA. I’m so delighted to see
regular events such as the the Staple Center, home of
the locations where some of the scenes were shot,
Los Angeles Lakers or the Nokia Theater (now known
such as the Continental Building in South Spring
as the Microsoft Theater) which is famous for music
Street and Tom’s bench in Bunker Hill. Aside from sev-
events such as American Idol Finale and MTV Video
eral movies shot in Downtown Los Angeles, there
Music Awards. ✖
Pastor Kimberly Jones Pothier My 40’z Life
by Sandra Wyckoff
Meet Pastor Kim, aka “Real Talk Kim”, one of Oxygen’s ‘Preachers of Atlanta’ star who is conquering Hell in High Heels! My 40’z
Rejection is God’s protection. I realized this as I released everyone that had caused me great pain and began looking forward to my purpose. My 40’z
Even though I was raised in a pastor’s home, I ran from my purpose for many years. It took total loss of marriage, home and business to bring me to my knees and allow God to do a complete work in and through me. I was 36 years old when I returned to my parents’ home totally broken and now I am 44 and feel as though I am on the top of the world. God is waiting on each of us to just give up. He does not live in time as we do so He will wait on us until we are ready.
How I stay spiritually grounded I have given permission to my family and dearest friends to be honest with me about me.
When I am at peace most When I am…. experiencing the freedom for others that comes through God’s anointing. I am questioned as to how I travel weekly to many cities ministering in different venues and never get tired of doing it again the next week. I realize I am flowing in God’s purpose for my life. In my brokenness, He gave me the ability to see pain in others. I live to see others free.
song that lifts me up When my son, Morgan, who is my worship leader, begins to sing, “I Need You, I Love You, I Want You” by Tenth Avenue North, I crumble into Jesus’ presence because I realize I cannot make it a day without Him.
/ Photography: Drea Nicole /
best mistake Was getting married for the 2nd time before I was 20 years old. I was determined to make it work no matter the cost because I could not face failure again. If it had not been for that second failure or mistake, I am not sure I would be where I am today nor have the most amazing two sons in the world. I thank God every day that He allowed me to go through divorce twice and He still uses me.
shoes I wear to make me feel like I can conquer the world I am partial to Dr. Martens or any type of boot that gives me the comfort to just be me while standing for several hours. I refuse to allow a stiletto to rule my life and cause severe pain when I need to be focused on hearing God’s voice.
finding my purpose in life
advice to women working in a man’s world Be yourself and allow Jesus to be Lord of everything you do. He will open doors that no man can open and put you at the right place and right time. I can truly testify that I am amazed every day where I am standing. I could never have done this nor be where I am today without Jesus’ guidance.
Book available on Amazon.c om
what I now know One thing I have found that sometimes God breaks your spirit to save your soul. He will allow everyone to leave your life until you realize who is most important. With God, you can do anything. Without Him, you are just a failure waiting to be exposed.
song that lifts me up When my son, Morgan, who is my worship leader, begins to sing, “I Need You, I Love You, I Want You” by Tenth Avenue North, I crumble into Jesus’ presence because I realize I cannot make it a day without Him.
looking back with no regrets On the subject of Preachers of Atlanta, I had many reservations going into this project. My family and I prayed and counseled countless hours to make sure this was a God move. When the project was completed, we all looked back and knew I had done my best to show the world that Jesus is first in my life. He gave me the opportunity to put Him in front of thousands of people that may never have walked into a church. I am so thankful that I can look back with no regrets and know I did my best to show others Jesus through the face of Kimberly. That’s what it is all about. ✖ www.realtalkkim.com
Have We Become Comfortable With
violence Against Women? by Tonya D. Bradley
I recently watched ABC’s $100,000 Pyramid game show when I was completely shocked by the actions of one of the contestants. He was giving clues to celebrity Natasha Lyonne to help her guess the title of a category. The category was “Things You Hit.” In sequence, the contestant gave these clues—a baseball, a person, your wife. Your wife? I gasped and groaned right along with the audience. Of course, he didn’t win the category, because there was no way Natasha Lyonne would have guessed the category correctly after hearing, “Your wife.” When she saw the title of the category, she too reacted in disbelief. The contestants first response was, “I guess I’ll never have a wife.”
It is difficult to view this as a harmless oversight. I was dis-
still permitted in many countries. Additionally, new avenues
gusted by his ignorance, but given how desensitized we are
for attacks have emerged through social media.
about violence against women, it’s sadly understandable. As
an advocate for domestic violence awareness and as a survi-
senators, Tom Cruz and John Cornyn, voted against the
vor of abuse myself, this is concerning. The matter of violence
Violence Against Women Act in 2013. In 2014, the number of
against women is a tough topic to discuss. What we see in the
women killed by their husbands or boyfriends increased more
media daily deprives us of sensitization to its seriousness. Do-
than 20 percent in Harris County, Texas. The victims ranged
mestic violence is a global epidemic that can cause the same
from 16 to 90 years old. Seventy-seven percent of them were
results as other life threatening, physically and emotionally
killed at home. In addition to the 132 deaths of women at the
crippling illnesses, so why have we turned a blind eye to it?
hands of their partners or former partners, 84 were children
who watched their mothers die.
Notwithstanding the gains women have made in careers,
Regrettably, I live in the State of Texas, where both Texas
politics, and education, violence against women continues to
increase worldwide. As groups continue to advocate for laws
tude and is present in every single country around the world,
that criminalize violence, horrible acts such as marital rape is
it is still not of real importance for most governments. ✖
Although violence against women has epidemic magni-
Oil AND natural Gas EMPOWER YOUR Life by Derrick Hollie
U.S. energy independence relates to the goal of reducing the United States imports of petroleum and other foreign sources of energy.
As a young man, one of my first jobs was with Norfolk South-
comes from gasoline. This means higher prices for everyone,
ern Railway. In Norfolk, some of the most common sights were
especially Black families on the verge of energy poverty.
rail cars — hundreds every day — carrying coal to be shipped
off to other countries.
Chamber of Commerce, one EPA regulation, the so-called
“Clean Power Plan,” would drive 23 percent more of the black
Back then coal was seen as a way of making life easier for
According to a study conducted by the National Black
millions across the world. My grandfather was a coal miner, and
community into poverty. Black Americans would not only be
for black Americans like me, coal has been a game-changer. It
paying more to power homes, we’d also experience job losses
allowed us to power our homes and businesses without spend-
and higher costs on everyday goods.
ing a fortune, and increased our productivity by powering
time- and effort-saving technology.
others, this would be a double whammy. That’s because higher
energy costs make everything more expensive to produce. It costs
Personal experience has shown me that reliable, abundant,
With black Americans already suffering lower incomes than
and affordable energy changes lives for the better. When af-
businesses more to keep the lights on or have energy-intensive
fordable energy is available to all, it is a tide that lifts all boats.
factories running. This added cost has to be balanced somehow,
and layoffs or reduced job creation are likely outcomes. The
Energy makes us more productive, empowering us to seek
our full potential. Consider the miracle of modern lighting. In
National Black Chamber of Commerce’s estimates put this at 7
the 1800s, a day of labor earned you about five hours of light.
million fewer jobs for black Americans nationwide by 2035.
Today, a day’s work gets you 20,000 hours of light. That means
we have more time to pursue an education and spend time
of the population, but for the black community, the impact
with our families.
would be worse. Many black Americans are already at a dis-
advantaged economic position, with median incomes 33
Still, many families—especially in the African-American
community, suffer from what is known as “energy poverty,” which means the burden of energy costs is so high that families must make painful decisions about paying their utility bill or skipping meals. But how could it be, in 2017, that millions of American families struggle to pay for energy?
At some point, policymakers here in the United States
decided to turn their back on abundant, reliable, and affordable energy. In Washington, D.C., regulators have worked to make fossil fuels more expensive while propping up inferior technologies.
Higher energy prices will be destructive for all segments
“In Washington, D.C.,
regulators have worked to make fossil fuels more expensive while propping up inferior technologies.”
Yet more than two-thirds of our electricity comes from
natural gas and coal, and more than 90% of our motor fuel
1 day of work =
5 hours of light
1 day of work =
20,000 hours of light
Cost of Powering Homes + Goods
Clean power act
Could drive 23% more of the black community into poverty
) Derrick Hollie Founder of Reaching America, a
Every dollar and hour saved by easy access to energy greatly increases quality of life across the board.
501(c)(4) organization developed
No. of Jobs
to address complex social issues impacting communities.
percent lower than the national average as recently as 2013. For us to catch up with the general population, we canâ€™t afford any additional handicaps.
Relying on plentiful and convenient sources of energy would em-
power the Black community. Every dollar and hour saved by easy access to energy greatly increases quality of life across the board. If we head in the opposite direction, the results will be disastrous for the millions of American who deserve a chance to climb the ladder of opportunity.
Not everybody had the same opportunity as me to see just how much
the world relies on natural gas, coal, and oil as forms of plentiful and affordable energy. But we all reaped the benefits, especially the black communities who used that energy to pursue the American Dream that had for so long been closed off to us. âœ–
IN 2017, MILLIONS OF AMERCIAN FAMILIES SUFFER FROM ENERGY POVERTY 40zRock.com
Reduce, Reuse, Recycle by Charles Brooks
Remember when you were in elementary school and the teacher taught you the “three Rs” of the environment: Reduce, Reuse, Recycle? I sure do.
At the end of the day, the solution starts with us— each and every one of us reaching out to people in our local communities and doing our part to make the world a better place. 50 /
It was a valuable lesson that we should have all
taken to heart. After all, we have one planet to live
“hoisting human bodies” in the air, airplanes
on, so we should make sure to conserve it for
empower us in many ways. They allow us to visit
our families during the holidays, travel the world,
conduct business and explore new cultures.
Yet over the last several years, that positive mes-
This disdain makes no sense. Far from merely
sage of responsible stewardship for the benefit of
mankind has morphed into an agenda that elevates
good thing. Before abundant energy, it used to take
the environment over actual human beings.
weeks or months to sail across the Atlantic Ocean.
People used to be viewed as part of the solution,
Yes, fossil fuels make air travel possible. That’s a
Today, thanks to oil and natural gas, the worst
with everyone playing their part. But now, unfortu-
thing you have to worry about when traveling is
nately, people are seen as part of the problem.
long lines, delays, and bag fees.
But, by almost any measure, people committed
And regarding the minor inconveniences of
to improving our world have made the environment
modern air travel, the whole reason Heathrow
better over time, not worse.
wanted to build new runways was to ease congestion
for planes arriving and departing.
Don’t believe me? According to the Environ-
mental Protection Agency, pollution from smog
and other harmful emissions has declined 57%
struggle. Around the world, 1.2 billion people lack
since 1980, while population has risen 35% and our
access to electricity and another 2.5 billion people
economy has grown 122%.
lack adequate sanitation, mostly in Africa, where I
spend a lot of time working on development, and
This sounds like a win-win for the economy and
Despite the gains we’ve made, many people still
other parts of the developing world.
The extreme campaign has gotten to the point
The solution isn’t to stop building airports and
where recently, environmental campaigners in the
having families. Quite the opposite. The world
UK argued against building new runways at Heath-
needs more energy, not less. We need more schools,
row, one of the busiest airports in the world. Why?
hospitals, businesses—and yes, airport runways.
Because of the perceived impact on the environment.
us—each and every one of us reaching out to
“In a world seeking to prevent climate break-
At the end of the day, the solution starts with
down, there is no remaining scope for extending
people in our local communities and doing our
infrastructure that depends on fossil fuels,” wrote
part to make the world a better place. Just like
an author for the UK Guardian newspaper. “Using
they taught us in school. ✖
kerosene to hoist human bodies into the air means massive impacts.”
Contributor / Charles Brooks
Just like they taught us in school. 40zRock.com
High Blood Pressure & Heart Disease by American Heart Association
High blood pressure is considered a silent killer. It sneaks up on you, carries
Understanding your numbers
no symptoms and can put you at risk for heart disease. It can also feel like it came out of nowhere, like it did for survivor, Shermane Winters-Wofford. Shermane thought she was perfectly healthy – until she suffered a stroke. And as it turns out, her family history of high blood pressure and heart disease had put her at risk all along. High blood pressure, also known as HBP or hypertension, is a widely misunderstood. We often assume it affects those who are type-A, tense and aggressive. But the truth is, it has nothing to do with personality traits. In fact, you can be the most relaxed, calm person and still suffer from HBP. The reality is that HBP is a condition that makes the heart work harder than normal. And left untreated, it scars and damages your arteries and can lead to heart attack, stroke, kidney failure, eye damage, heart failure and fatty buildups in the arteries, called atherosclerosis. Today, Shermane’s eats right, exercises regularly and tracks her blood pressure every day. She also makes sure others don’t underestimate the importance of knowing their blood pressure numbers and family history. Are you ready to join her in the fight against heart disease?
Blood pressure is typically recorded as two numbers and a written as a ratio.
Systolic: The top number in the ratio, which is also the higher of the two, measures the pressure in the arteries when the heart beats. Diastolic: The bottom number in the ratio, which is also the lower of the two, measures the pressure in the arteries between heartbeats. Your blood pressure rises with each heartbeat and falls when your heart relaxes between beats. While it can change from minute to minute with changes in posture, exercise, stress or sleep, it should normally be less than 120/80 mm Hg for women age 20 or over.
Here’s how the numbers are evaluated: Normal: Less than 120 systolic and less than 80 diastolic Pre-hypertension: 120-139 systolic or 80-89 diastolic Hypertension: 140 or higher systolic or 90 or higher diastolic Hypertensive Crisis: higher than 180 or higher than 110 diastolic Because blood pressure can fluctuate, consider investing in a home blood pressure monitor to record your numbers regularly. Doing so can help your healthcare provider determine whether you really have high blood pressure and, if you do, whether your treatment plan is working.
Decreasing your risk As a woman, you have an increased risk of developing high blood pressure if you are 20 pounds or more overweight, have a family history of high blood pressure, or have reached menopause. But you donâ€™t have to suffer two strokes, like Shermane, before you start taking action to prevent it. While there is no cure, HBP is manageable and preventable by adopting a healthy lifestyle that includes a diet low in salt, saturated fats, cholesterol and alcohol. Physical activity and weight loss are also key factors in lowering your numbers. And these simple changes can go a long way.
40zROCK / RSVP s
Letter of Invitation from
40zROCK Especially for YOU!
Dear 40zRocker, When you turned forty, was it met with delight or dread? Was the first thing that came to your mind, “I can now live my life" or "It’s all down-hill from here?" There are billions of women entering into, or already in, their forties asking themselves these same questions. Were you aware there is an organization that tailors to the needs of women in their forties? There is, and that organization is 40zROCK. The mission of 40zROCK is to provide a membership-based platform for women in their forties to come together and celebrate their right to age gracefully and beautifully; to share their accomplishments, support, and be involved in outlets for making positive life changes within themselves and their communities. These are women from all walks of life—all beautiful hues and tones, shapes and sizes, with an optimistic outlook on life. 40zROCK was founded by Sandra Wyckoff in Houston, Texas in ???/ (year). It has since gone global, popping up in major cities across the US and abroad. Sandra is a woman of class, couture and culture. Upon entering her forties, she realized the need for an organization that helped women embrace their forties and their commitment of self and community growth. When she refers to a woman who ROCKS in her forties, she is distinctly referring to YOU! You, a woman who has done the work on herself and has reached a level of awareness and balance; mentally, physically and spiritually. She believes that once a woman has turned forty and tapped into these areas of her life, then she ROCKS. And when she ROCKS, she can ROCK THE WORLD! 40zROCK is looking for women in their forties who ROCK and want to join this exciting and rewarding movement. If you are in your forties and would like to Rock the World with us, please visit www.40zRock.com, or speak to a 40zROCKER in your area to find out how become a member of this fast-growing organization.
Sincerely, Sandra Wyckoff Founder, 40zROCK
I ROCK, YOU ROCK, TOGETHER WE ROCK! 54 /