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real talk with kim


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Quarterly Magazine / Issue No. 11



Correct, reset and Transform

Oxygen’s “Preacher’s of atlanta” Star

Contents / Issue No. 11


Meet Pastor Kim, the ‘Preachers of Atlanta’ Star Conquering Hell in High Heels—and Tutus!—With Her Millions of Followers



Feature 44  Have We Become

Comforatable With Violence Against Women?

46 How Oil and Natural Gas Empower Your Life

50 Reduce, Reuse, Recycle


50 2


In Each Issue 4

Editor’s Letter

6  Must-Haves: Ready, Set, Get Inspired!


Food: Primo Guac


8 Q&A With Mia: Let’s Get it (W) Right!

1 0

Beauty: Face It: A New Year, A New You

1 2

Fashion: Seeking Your Sole Mate?

1 4 Fashion: Make Your Point

1 6

Health: How to Curb Anxiety

1 8

J WTDO: Preventative Medicine: Advanced Directives: The Most Important Conversation of Your Life


20  JWTDO: Physical: Menopause

22  JWTDO: Self-Help: How to Create Successful Resolutions

24  Relationships: Ceasing the Fire & Calling it Quits

26  Spirituality: Living Blindly What Is the Future God Has for You?

28 Effective Parenting:

How to Talk to Your Child About the Issue of Police Brutality

30 Finances: Small Business Lenders at a Crossroads — A Cautionary Tale from the Fight Over Payday Lending


F orty, Fabulous & Free: Be About That Life


Travel: Destination Los Angeles, California



26 30

40zROCK / Editor's Letter

A time to correct, reset & transform

Am I the only one, or does it seem as though the year has come and gone so fast. In my case, I’m happy to see a New Year on the horizon. With time racing faster than the speed of lighting, I found it to be essential to take the time to stop for some good-ol’ self-reflection. Something we rarely make time for because of our chaotic and so called fabulous lifestyles. As for me, 2016 had a lot of bumps and bruises along the way, but through it all I’m happy to say there was a beautiful rainbow on the other side. Taking the time to reflect during my self-evaluation, I realized that no matter what, I will be grateful for every day, hour and every moment. I call it “savoring the moment”; something that was non-existent before. The reason being, I was too busy trying to figure out the future. Now, I’m thankful for each day in a way like never before. Now that I have reached a place I call my "re-setting phase", my perception on so many things have changed. Have you ever felt like all you wanted to do was hit a re-set button and start over? Me too! But what I realized it is by God’s grace I am re-starting with each day he gives me. Now, I allow myself to be ok with where I am in my life. I don’t stress myself or make myself believe that all is lost because I am not where I pictured myself being. The kids, husband, house, cars and fancy clothes... well, ok I have to have the fancy clothes!! But really, attending church on a regular basis has reminded me of Isaiah 55:8, “God’s plan is not my plan.” So no matter what I would like to believe I know, at the end of the day my life is already planned out. With this in mind, it confirms for me I am just where I am supposed to be. I have to admit it feels wonderful to allow myself to freely be transformed into the daughter, sister and friend that I was designed to be. Whoever said transformation was easy, they lied! It hurts like hell, but it’s worth the pain. Just from those simple moments of reflection, I believe that any life worth living is worth reflecting on.

Sandra A. Wyckoff Editor-in-Chief

Follow 40zROCK /




/ Contributing Writers

40zROCK Sandra Wyckoff

Tonya D. Bradley

Dr. Cheruba Prabakar, MD

Is an advocate for underserved communities and raises awareness for domestic violence, teen pregnancy prevention and lupus.


A board certified OBGYN who specializes in treating women with fibroids, irregular bleeding, pelvic pain and uterine prolapse. She is trained in minimally invasive surgery and offers the latest treatments in laparoscopic and robotic surgery. Dr. Prabakar is the author of several manuscripts and presents her work at national conferences. She also serves as a television medical news contributor to ARISE America. Learn more at her website:

P 50 / Reduce, Reuse, Recycle

P 20 / JWTDO: Physical: Menopause

Terryl Ebony

Wendie Rice

P 44 / Have We Become Comfortable With Violence Against Women?

Charles Brook

CEO / President at Find Your Purpose, LLC P 28 / Effective paRENTING: How to Talk to Your Child About the Issue of Police Brutality

Jonathan & Kach a Filipina Founders of Two Monkey's Travel company, the British couple has been on a world journey since 2013... 65 countries and counting! P 38 / TRAVEL: Destination Los Angeles, California

Derrick Hollie Founder of Reaching America, a 501(c)(4) organization developed to address complex social issues impacting communities. P 46 / How Oil and Natural Gas Empower Your Life

Kevin Kimble Is the principal of KBK Consulting Group, and the founder and director of policy development of the Financial Services Innovation Coalition, a group advocating on behalf of a coalition of nonbank consumer lenders, small-business lenders and community groups. P 30 / finances: Small Lenders at Crossroads—A Cautionary Tale from the Fight Over Payday Lending

Dr. Rebecca Johnson, Psy. D., PC Dr. Rebecca was awarded her Psy.D. and M.A. in Clinical Psychology by the California School of Professional Psychology and holds an active Georgia Psychologist License.

Graduate of Clark Atlanta University with a Bachelor‘s degree in Mass Communications. Rice has worked in marketing/sales, public relations and travel throughout her career. In 2009 Wendie felt God‘s call on her life to encourage and heal others through the sharing of Christ. In 2010 she was commissioned as a Christian Lay Counselor in Atlanta where she works primarily with women, and also mentors at-risk youth across the city. P 30 / SPIRITUALITY: Living Blindly What is the Future God Has for You?

Ann Inez Hardell Photographers

Drea Nicole

(cover + page 42)

Get the APP

Is a family Medicine Resident and graduate of the University of Rochester School of Medicine and Dentistry. Her areas of interest are women's health, preventative medicine and medical journalism. P 18 / JWTDO: PREVENTIVE MEDICINE: Advanced Directives: The Most Important Conversation of Your Life

Stacy D. Wilson Stacy is a natural hair fanatic, so much so, she started her on blog called Free 2 B Kinky. When she is not giving tips about natural hair, or writing her column Forty, Fabulous and Free for 40z Rock Magazine, she is a dedicated English teacher in Guangzhou, China. #teachersrock? P 34 / FORTY, FABULOUS & FREE: Be About That Life

Mia Wright

Fashion & Interior Designer, and Community Philanthropist she wrote Ceasing the Fire and Calling It Quits. P 24 / RELATIONSHIPS: Ceasing the Fire & Calling It Quits

P 8 / Q&A With Mia: Let’s Get It (W)right!

LaShonda Pierce

Creative Director

Dr. Amber Robins, MD

As founder of Metamorphosis, Inc., an organization that encompasses the life changing Metamorphosis Women‘s Conference. Mia is an inspirational speaker, who encourages others with uplifting life stories and skills that apply in both the faith based and industry sectors. She is also a sought after national motivational speaker, women’s conference presenter, and corporate work / faith / life balance coach.

P 22 / JWTDO: Self-Help: How to Create Successful Resolutions







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Prep Time to TableTime

Just when you thought it couldn’t get any better, along comes Kale and Artichoke Guacamole! Oh yes, take everything you love about guacamole PLUS spinach and artichoke dip, ditching the heavy cream-cheese and cheese portion, then mash them together to create a healthy, superfood-filled dip recipe that’s perfect for any occasion!



Heat extra virgin olive oil in a medium-

Top with fried kale for a fun presenta-

sized skillet over medium-low heat then

tion. Add enough extra virgin olive oil

add kale, season with salt, and saute

to generously coat the bottom of a

kale and artichoke Guacamole

until tender, 4-5 minutes. Once cool

medium-sized skillet then heat over

enough to handle, transfer kale to a

medium-high heat. Add 1/2 cup finely

Ingredients / Serves 4-6

cutting board then chop into small

chopped kale then saute until kale

2 cups packed chopped curly kale 1 Tablespoon extra virgin olive oil salt 2 large avocados 1 lemon 1 clove garlic, pressed, microplaned or minced half a14oz can artichoke hearts, chopped

pieces and set aside.

has turned dark green and the edges

(freeze other half)

chopped kale and artichoke hearts then

DIPPERS: tortilla chips, vegetables, crackers, etc.

feel crispy, 1 - 1-1/2 minutes, stirring In a large bowl combine avocados, the

frequently. Oil will splatter so have a

juice from /2 lemon, garlic, and salt then

splatter shield handy, and the exhaust

mash until very smooth (alternatively

fan on. Transfer kale to a paper towel-

you could process in a food processor

lined plate to drain, sprinkle with salt,

then transfer to a large bowl.) Fold in

then sprinkle on top of guacamole. ✖


taste and add more salt and/or lemon

SOURCE: Iowa Girl Eats,

juice if needed. Serve immediately.



40zROCK / Q&A With Mia

Let's Get It (W)right! Mia is helping people to positively change their lives. If you have a problem and need a solution, she can help you get your answers.


Mia W right

tor & M

?'s / 8



nal Spe


Q Mrs. Mia, please help me! My husband watches porn on a consistent basis . I have told him nu m er ou s times how I feel about it. For som e reason, he seem s to believe it's no lem, but I do! He t a probdoesn't want to go to counseling and up. I try not to feel I'm fed so angry, but I feel like he should ha honest with his pr ve been oblem before we got married. If he see it as an issue do esn't and I do, what wou ld you suggest? To est, I am really ab be honout to give up an d just let him be sin watch as much po gle and rn as he likes. -Sig ned Disgusted. A Based upon your ques tion, I would ask if at the heart of your question his lack of being truthful and honest with you ab ongoing issue or is out an it the fact that his engagement is po rnographic? It is apparent th at your husband do es no t see any problem with consistently watching porn, de spite your protests. I would question Per that, his other activities such as if he goes to strip bars, or if he has en gaged in an extra marital affair? Thos things that the ot e are the her spouse will na turally begin to qu estion. You see, the danger of consistently watch ing pornography is that it opens the spirit an d mind to sexual ac ts ou ts id e of the marriage. While many may ar gue that it can en hance the sex betw husband and wife een a , that theory is high ly debatable, parti when the two have cularly opposing approach es to th e idea of watching porn. Marriage is truly give and ta ke, a sacrifice for ea needs. He needs to ch other hear your perspect ive in th is area of concern because the unde rlying thought is th at if he is watchin g porn, can I trust him. Mar riages are built on love and trust. I w to hear of a couple ould hate divorcing because of po rn og raphy. I hope that you two will be able to work throug h th e ch allenges that you face and continue to build a love that lasts.

Do you have some life pressing que

stions you need to get answers to?


Ask Mia and get it (W)right!

Q Pastor Wright, I will be 38 in a couple of months. I have been divorced since 2013. Things were so bad, that I didn’t take anything from my divorce but my sanity and freedom. It has been a struggle trying to literally start over from nothing. Now that I am back going out on dates every now and then, I realize men seem to be interviewing me, trying to see if I have a 401k, savings account, a house, etc. I will be the first to admit my financial situation is horrible. I am just wondering do you think men still look for women with good hearts and other wonderful qualities or is it about a good size bank account? I feel like I just want to tell them “I’m broke, do you want to proceed or not?” What do you think? A

Dating rules have changed so much in recent years. With access to nearly any information via the internet

and a little peeping action, you can sum up a person’s life with the click of the mouse so it seems. However, we should remember that an aspect here and there about a person only gives a glimpse of someone and it does not tell the complete story. Starting all over after a divorce can be both challenging and rewarding. I love that you said that you left with your sanity and freedom. I might add that you also left with new opportunities and perspective as well. From that, I doubt that you will enter a marriage or even relationship moving forward that doesn’t take into consideration how you are treated mentally as well as in the other key areas of life. In honesty, you took away much more and walking away from material possessions only freed you from looking at “things” and remembering things that no longer add value to your life. In this fresh start, look for others who have the right perspective. Yes, you will be “interviewed,” and you should be “interviewing” as well. I am laughing as I write this and hope that it won't be misinterpreted by anyone. In essence, an interviewer has a list of qualities they are looking for in a potential candidate. At the same time, the potential candidate also has a list of wants, needs, and demands. While this isn't the nature of a romantic relationship, you should be aware of what you want, whether it is dating or simply friendship. Usually, after a few conversations, most people can determine if they want to pursue or run! Some of the questions you are being asked are very personal and honestly no one's business until a relationship is progressing towards marriage. Financial disclosure is important but I would not advise sharing it early in the relationship and if asked too soon, I would question why? Men and women are looking for people with good hearts. When you connect to the right person, for the right reasons, you and your future mate will work through any shortcomings including financial. Be sure to ask God to be the head of your search committee. Be blessed. ✖



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How to CURB anxiety

Get a handle on your anxiety so it doesn't keep you down. It’s just a breath away, literally.



✽ Jamie Price Wellness expert and co-founder of Stop Breathe & Think.

Over 40 million U.S. ❝adults experience the feelings

of worry and unease that typically characterize anxiety.❞ Get the FREE Stop, Breathe & Think app

We all experience anxiety in one form

relationship to it. Often anxiety has to

go. It can help to simply note them as

or another. Over 40 million U.S. adults

do with concern about the past or the

“thought” or “feeling”, and then bring

experience the feelings of worry and

future, so it can be helpful to focus on

your attention back to your breath.

unease that typically characterize

what’s happening right now, in the

anxiety. Sometimes these feelings can

present. One of the best ways to do

breathing anywhere—while in traffic,

be helpful. They can ignite the motiva-

that is through mindful breathing. By

waiting in line, even while you exercise.

tion to prepare for a meeting and keep

simply focusing on the breath, you can

And remember, your thoughts and feel-

you on your toes when you’re dealing

bring yourself into the present and take

ings aren’t facts. Emotions, when left

with oncoming traffic. But they can also

yourself out of the mental loop that

alone, last about 90 seconds. By practic-

get the best of you and take on a life of

perpetuates anxious feelings.

ing mindful breathing, it will help you

their own.

step back and recognize that they are

find a comfortable seat, where you can

like clouds passing through the sky,

ally quite normal to feel anxious, but

sit up straight. Take a few minutes to

changing all the time.

what would otherwise be a temporary

focus on your breathing. Notice your

feeling can trigger a waterfall of judg-

breath as it comes in through your

with anxiety can be found on the free

ment that cause anxiousness to last

nose, fills your lungs, and goes back

app Stop, Breathe & Think. ✖

much longer. When you get caught up

out through your nose. Become aware

in critical thoughts surrounding anxiety,

of the sensations of your breathing,

Jamie has studied and practiced meditation under

like “what is wrong with me? or “why

and notice where you feel your breath

the guidance of a traditionally trained buddhist

aren’t I better at...?”, or trying to iden-

most—maybe in the stomach, or chest.

teacher, Lama Chodak Gyatso Nubpa since 2000.

tify everything that could go wrong,

At some point, as you continue to

it makes it worse. Before you know it,

breathe, you will notice that you have

what was once a ripple has become a

become distracted or lost in thought.

crashing wave.

When this happens, just acknowledge

the thoughts or feelings that arise

Our moods fluctuate, and it’s actu-

The good news is you can curb

anxiety simply by changing your

To practice mindful breathing,

You can actually practice mindful

Simple guided meditations to help

with open curiosity, and then let them



40zROCK / JWTDO: Preventative Medicine

Advanced directives: The Most Important Conversation of Your Life

✽ Dr. Amber Robins, MD Is a Family Medicine Resident and graduate of the University Rochester School of Medicine and Dentistry. Her areas of interest are women's health, preventative medicine and medical journalism.

These questions, known as advance

in mind you may have a parent who you

directives, are asked to every individual

care for, a child who needs medical help,

no matter if you are in your 40z, a child,

or an unexpected trauma occur. Having

or an elderly person. All people are

this information can make a difference

asked their advance directives when

for everyone. Think about it. How would

admitted to a hospital. Some patients

you feel about making a decision on

who are asked their advance directives

whether your loved one wanted CPR

“If anything should happen to

are prepared and know exactly what

or even life support? It’s an uncomfort-

you while in the hospital, whether

they want in life-threatening situations.

able feeling, right? Studies have found

However, many people are shocked

that when family members have to make

by the thought of these questions.

medical decisions for a loved one, the

breathe, would you like everything

Some people have never discussed

most common negative effects are stress

done: CPR where we press on your

their wishes for emergent situations or

when making decisions, guilt over the

end-of-life care. Who would want to,

decisions made, and doubt regarding

right? Unfortunately, those who have

whether they had made the right choice.

throat to help you breathe, and/or

not thought about this topic are at risk

medicines to help your heart

of having things done to them in the

additional stress to your family while

hospital that they may not want.

making sure you or your family mem-

bers get the treatments that are wanted

your heart stops or you can’t

chest, a tube placed down your

work better?”



It can be scary to think about and

So what can you do now to prevent

stressful for not only you, but your family

at the time they are needed? Here

as well. You are not alone in thinking

are a few tips to document your

this. And who would really want to think

advance directives.

about advance directives especially if

you feel like you are a healthy 40-year-

friends about what you would like in

old? This is not just for you though. Keep

life-threatening situations. To assist

First, talk to your family and close

you in this conversation, a “Physician Orders for Life Sustaining Treatment” (POLST) form is available online that specifically addresses what options are available in situations if your heart stops or you cannot breathe. Carefully read over the form. There is also

and to express your concerns. Both

decision for you. You may change your

a place on the form where you can

you and your medical provider will

mind several times on what you may

choose the person (family member or

then sign the form. The POLST form

want. There is no right way for this

friend) who you would want to make

should be copied into your medical

process of decision-making. However,

medical decisions on your behalf if

chart while you keep the original form.

having this conversation early, even in

you cannot do so for yourself. Identify

If at any time you decide to change

your 40z, may be the most important

a person, and talk with them about

elements of your POLST form, be sure

conversation of your life. ✖

what you would want for advance

to make your doctor aware. Also, if you

directives. If you have specific ques-

find that you are going to a hospital

tions, write them down. When you are

that may not have access to your

ready, continue this conversation with

medical records, bring this form with

your doctor who will formally fill out

you to give to the medical staff.

the form for you. Be sure you bring

the person you have identified as your

ily, friends, and doctor, may be over-

decision maker with you too.

whelming. It is hard to imagine you,

as a beautiful 40-something-year-old,

During the appointment with your

Discussing this topic with your fam-

primary care provider, make sure to

in a life-threatening situation where

ask any questions you may have about

your life is at stake. I would suggest

the advance directives for clarification

taking your time in making the right

Resources: Link to “Physician Orders for Life Sustaining Treatment” (POLST) form: https://www.cdph. Spoelhof D et al, “Implementing Advance Directives in Office Practice.” Am Fam Physician. 2012 Mar 1;85(5):461-466



40zROCK / JWTDO: Physical

MENOPAUSE Just what the doctor orderd (JWTDO), Dr. Prabakar explains medical conditions in laymans terms without all the medical jargan.

20 /

âœ˝ Dr. Cheruba Prabakar, MD Is a board certfied OBGYM from Brooklyn, NY. She specializes in treating woman with fibroids, irregular bleeding, pelvic pain and uterine prolapse.

Can’t sleep? Feeling like you’re burning up? Experiencing mood changes, irritability, and fatigue? Are you periods out of whack? You might just be nearing menopause. The idea sounds scary to most. While the idea of a period-free life seems appealing, the symptoms that accompany this transition can be difficult for some. Here’s what you need to know.

The average age of menopause in the United States is 52.

with sweat. Some women experience vaginal dryness and a loss of libido. Others become irritable, fatigued, and are unable to sleep. The symptoms can last from a year to 10 years! Menopause can negatively affect your quality of life and it is wise to see your gynecologist to find a way to manage symptoms.

There are several different types

of blood clots or cancer, or you have

of treatment for those undergoing

liver or gall bladder disease, you are

menopausal symptoms. The first

not a good candidate. Hormones come

group includes behavior modifica-

in many forms—pills, patches, vaginal

tions. Increasing physical activity,

rings, and injections. The type and dose

quitting smoking, reducing alcohol

of hormone you may use will depend

Menopause is defined as the

intake, dressing in layers, using a fan/

on several factors including whether

absence of a period for ONE year.

AC are all helpful. If these do not work

you have had your uterus removed or

The average age of menopause in the

in improving symptoms, your doctor

not. Hormone therapy should be used

United States is 52. There is a genetic

may prescribe medications that affect

for the shortest amount of time pos-

component too that plays a role in its

the chemicals in your brain, leading to

sible to control the most bothersome

onset— women whose mothers expe-

improved mood, and decreased hot

symptoms you are experiencing.

rienced menopause earlier are more

flashes. Over the counter homeopathic

likely to undergo the changes earlier

supplements such as soy and black

remember to exercise regularly and

too. Some women undergo meno-

kohosh may be useful, but these have

focus on the types that bear weight—

pause as early as 42 and others as late

not been FDA tested and approved.

aerobics and weight lifting. Eat a

as 57. Once you reach menopause,

You should use these with caution and

health, balanced, nutritious diet and

your ovaries will stop producing as

ensure that they don’t interfere with

limit alcohol. If you develop any spot-

much estrogen, which is an important

other medications you are using.

ting or bleeding after menopause,

female hormone. The ovaries will not

inform your doctor right away. ✖

produce an egg every month, and you

hormone replacement therapy may be

cannot get pregnant.

considered. Your doctor will best assess

if you are a candidate for this type if

 I f you have any questions or concerns you would like to ask Dr. Prabakar go to

menopause are hot flashes; where

treatment. For example, if you have and leave a message

waves of heat can drench your body

undiagnosed bleeding, a history

via the contact page.

The most common symptoms of

If the above treatments don’t work,

Once you reach menopause,



40zROCK / JWTDO: Self-Help

How to Create

Successful Resolutions

The new year invariably comes with a number of resolutions for self-improvement: weight loss, quitting smoking, exercise, socializing, self-care, and other self-betterment goals. Wanting to improve yourself is a fantastic goal, so why is it so darn difficult?

22 /

Rebecca M. âœ˝ Dr. Johnson, Psy. D. Received her Psy. D. and M.A. in Clinical Psychology from the California School of Professional Psychology and holds and active Georgia Psychologist License.

❝W  e feel more motivated when we succeed, but if we set the bar too high we are likely to feel overwhelmed and give up.❞

We tend to add these goals on top of already demanding schedules ­— schedules which have made accomplishing these goals pretty difficult in the past. Turning the calendar does

tions, as these will help propel you for-

mean you have failed and should give

not magically add time, patience, and

ward when your New Year momentum

up. It simply means you missed a week,

energy into our schedule, yet we tell

begins to waver. List all of the reasons

and you can get back to the gym the

ourselves we are going to make these

you want to do something. Consider

week after.

additions. We feel determined. We are

the difference between losing weight

resolute. Then life happens. The key is

because you “feel fat” versus losing

part of setting any resolution: be kind

to set yourself up for success from the

weight to feel better, like the way you

to yourself. Set realistic and incremental

beginning. Ask yourself what you want

look, have more energy, be able to keep

goals for yourself. We feel more motivat-

to accomplish, why you want to accom-

up with the kids, and improve your

ed when we succeed, but if we set the

plish it, how you will accomplish it, and

overall health.

bar too high we are likely to feel over-

how you will track your progress while

whelmed and give up. Know your own

setting realistic short-term goals.

is also key to overall success. Your plan

limits, allow yourself some mistakes, and

should be specific and realistic. If you

commit to simply trying, and trying, and

seem self-explanatory but we are often

want to exercise more, don’t expect

trying. Want to lose 10 pounds this year?

vague with our goals, which hurts moti-

yourself to go from once a month to

Try aiming for one pound per month.

vation. “Losing weight” is very vague, but

three times per week overnight. Allow

Want to quit smoking? Resolve to reduce

“losing 10 pounds by June” is a measur-

your body and your schedule to accli-

the number of cigarettes you smoke

able, concrete goal. Similarly, “quitting

mate to the changes you are making.

every day, gradually. If it goes up one day,

smoking” may seem like an immense

For this example, begin by going to the

no big deal. You can try again tomorrow.

hurdle to accomplish overnight, but

gym one to two times per week for the

Want to start volunteering? Maybe start

“quitting smoking by the end of May”

first month and plan to work up to three

with once per month and increase as

might be less daunting, and leave room

times per week by February or March.

time, energy, and motivation allow.

for some hiccups.

Also, allow yourself to occasionally

relapse back to your old way of function-

how small or temporary, is worthwhile.

tion may be the most important aspect.

ing, and don’t let this derail you entirely.

Resolutions are not Pass/Fail, so stop

Take time to fully evaluate your motiva-

Missing one week at the gym does not

acting like it! ✖

What you want to accomplish may

The motivation behind your resolu-

How you will accomplish your goal

This leads us to the most important

Any change you make, no matter




Ceasing the Fire  Calling it Quits by LaShonda Pierce

They say a woman's intuition is more accurate than a DNA test, therefore we must learn to trust our instincts.

When things aren't adding up in your

the truth by how it feels! The truth is in

of a man is better than no man at all" by

once love story relationship, and

action, not words.

the great Betty Wright is for the past tense

Beyoncé 's "Lemonade" album seems as

woman that had no other choice but to

if it was written especially for you, then

is trying and hard & can cause serious

accept a man’s fowl play and foolery.

it's probably time to start picking up the

blows to your self-esteem, and spirit.

pieces to your shattered heart and leave

Allowing a toxic relationship to dwell

standards, and respect that the attrac-

while you're ahead.. Save your sanity &

in your heart can ruin your day to day

tive, hardworking, beautiful, talented,

protect your peace from the love wounds

excellence. We must protect our peace

delightful WOMAN, and leader of the

that this man is shooting in your heart!

of mind and stay away from all things

universe you are deserves. If it's hurting

negative... and if that includes that tall

you, remove it from your life.

responsible for our own happiness.

dark and handsome man that once stole

Often times we expect validation from

your heart, to now breaking your heart

can carry over in the other areas of your

other people when the admiration of the

then so be it…He's got to go sister!!!

life, causing confusion, anxiety, depres-

reflection we see in the mirror should

Protect your Peace!!

sion, and cause you to lose focus on

come from within. We must first love

what's important.

ourselves before we can expect anyone

in a ruined raggedy relationship. The

else to.

cheating, the lies, the drama, is far too

self. Trust and lean on Him to send your

much baggage to carry, and frankly

true king your way, and don't settle for less.

private investigator, social media stalker,

wears you down.


and interrogators, trying to prove the

any relationship that doesn't feel like the

man in your life is cheating. You know

Mr. Charlie is just man" , "having a piece

As women we must realize, we are

Time is far too precious to become a

24 /

Dealing with the pain of a breakup

It's better to be single and sane than

Lyrics like "Don't Blame Mr. Charlie,

I encourage you to stand firm on the

Staying In an unhealthy relationship

Simply let go and let God. Love your-

love you deserve. ✖

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What if you were blindfolded and someone you trusted gave you instructions to move from point A to point B? Would you follow their instructions? What if you were given two presents to choose from, one unwrapped, one wrapped? Would you take a chance and pick the wrapped gift not knowing what lies inside? Or, would you go with the sure thing? How about this one­—what if you were deathly afraid of flying because you couldn’t see the pilot flying the plane, or couldn’t “take the wheel” yourself?

26 /

As we can see, each one of these

you. Seek Him at every turn and not

not really there for us when we don’t

scenarios involve trusting and not

move ahead on your own accord.

“see” Him act. This is not the case. God

operating by sight. Stepping out on

is always there and wants to show us in

faith into the future God has for you

glimpses, or even allows adverse situa-

mighty ways. When we’re living blindly,

requires living blindly….not seeing

tions to play out…for His utmost glory

there may be a time where we may also

what’s ahead, but moving forward

to be revealed. Take the story of Mary

feel stagnant, like things are not mov-

and taking the risks to walk into what

and Martha when their brother Lazarus

ing, so we have the tendency to step

might be the greatest blessing you’ve

was dying. Lazarus, a friend of Jesus be-

ahead of God. We have to be careful

ever received.

came sick. His sisters, whom Jesus also

with this. Living blindly also requires us

loved very much, sent a messenger to

to live patiently, knowing that God is

God has in store for us, it’s also about

tell Jesus that their brother was deathly

working, maybe just not in “our” timing.

surrendering and giving up all of “our”

ill. They were hoping that Jesus would

If we believe, God promises that we will

plans to allow God to exchange them

make Lazarus well and prevent him

see His glory. His word says, For I know

with the plans “He” has for our life.

from dying. Jesus received the message

the plans I have for you,… to give you a

Trust me, His plans are far better than

but He did not act immediately. For the

hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

anything we can ask, seek, or imagine!

purposes of His glory, he waited two

I think of all the many stories of failures

days to return to Bethany where Laza-

we must be directed through the Spirit

and rejection that people have experi-

rus was. By this time, the man had died.

that is present within. Responding to

enced that have kept them from pick-

When Jesus finally reached the family,

those small tugs and promptings at

ing up and trying something again. The

Lazarus had been dead for four days.

your heart to do something, help some-

fear of the pain from failure and rejec-

By now, the sisters and other followers

one, create something, or even remain-

tion has caused them to retreat and no

of Jesus had lost faith. They expected

ing still, can be clues to His leading.

longer push forward towards the goal

Jesus to take swift action. Martha and

When we’re trying to reach a particular

that God may truly have in place for

Mary both told Jesus that “if you had

destination, we need direction. Prayer,

them. But God tells us to press towards

been here, my brother would not have

reading God’s word, and heeding the

the mark. Philippians 3:14.

died.” Jesus knew that He was going to

Holy Spirit are our keys to getting to

answer their prayer, so He didn’t feel

where God wants us to be. Trust God—

hoped for and not seen. When seeking

the need to prevent Lazarus from dying,

He’ll get you there securely, safely, and

God’s plans for your life, more times than

but for the impact of His power to be

right on time!

not, the big picture will not be laid out

made known through bringing a dead

for you. God will allow you to see small

man back to life.

glimpses of where He is taking you. The

point is to allow Him to lead and guide

can lose hope and believe that God is

When we think about the future

Faith is the substance of things

Many times God gives us no

In seeking God’s future for our life,

Be Blessed! ✖

As it was with the two sisters, we




How to Talk TO Your Child About The Issue of

Police Brutality

by Terryl Ebony

Parents must ensure the answers don't sow negative seeds that will reap a negative harvest.

There is so much going on in the

speak. Make sure you are calm and not

world regarding racism and police

emotional. Make your child feel safe

brutality. It is a very emotional and

and secure while absorbing the informa-

disheartening subject. Social media has

tion. Come from a place of human love

highlighted many of these heinous acts

and compassion. Tell the truth based on

between police officers and Blacks on

facts, not assumptions or personal bias.

live television. The Digital Age has

Speak on a level that doesn’t cause more

made it impossible to ignore the blatant

confusion. Allow your child to speak and

disrespect we have for one another, as

express themselves freely. Be sure to

human beings. Meanwhile, our children

listen and observe their behavior, tone,

words and analogies. Don’t get too

are watching, hearing, feeling, and talk-

and body language during the conver-

graphic. Keep it simple. With preteens

ing about it. They are asking questions

sation. Acknowledge any undertones,

and teens, you can get more in depth.

and drawing their own conclusions.

negativity, or uncertainty you may

Watch the videos and media together

Parents must ensure the answers don’t

witness; and remember, it’s ok not to

to analyze, interpret, and discuss it as a

sow negative seeds that will reap a

have all the answers.

family. Talk about what to do if stopped

negative harvest.

by the police. Take a trip to the local

from all conversations and media cover-

precinct and introduce them to some

versation is what’s needed. Don’t ignore

age. They are too young to process and

of the officers. Show them that not all

your child’s questions unless you want

understand the significance of it all.

officers are bad. At the end of the day,

someone else answering them that may

Seeing or thinking about such traumatic

developing better community police

not share your views or sensitivity to

events can cause long-term psychologi-

relations is best for everyone, and

the matter. To that end, think before you

cal damage. With adolescents, use small

violence is never the answer. ✖

Mindful and age appropriate con-

28 /

Children under 6 should be shielded

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Small Business Lenders at a Crossroads­— A Cautionary Tale From the Fight Over Payday Lending by Kevin Kimble

>> Many small business lenders, but predominantly those in the “merchant cash advance” business, are squandering their chance to play a constructive role in their legal and regulatory future. This miscalculation can have devastating affects on future innovation in small business lending.

30 /

This relatively new group of innovators

happens, small business lenders should

lenders were overly aggressive in the

is just beginning to play a major role in

take the initiative to work with Congress

loans they made, in the collection efforts

the financial lives of small businesses

to develop sound regulations for the

they used, and the legal premises under

around the country and have yet to fully

industry. Establishing industry wide

which they operated. These lenders as a

realize their potential. It will take much

disclosure requirements, rate limitations

whole ignored the legitimate complaints

more innovation before they are offering

and other measures to prevent lender

and worked tirelessly to frustrate efforts

their best products.

abuses not only protects the small busi-

to find regulatory and legal compromise.

ness owners from catastrophic results,

As a result, the payday loan industry and

taking action, and the CFPB looking to

but also helps to legitimize the industry.

its customers have suffered from some-

hire a director for small business lending

With billions of dollars being lent

times overly restrictive State and Federal

(see CFPB Monitor article), the move to

and new lenders popping up each day it

regulations that caused some lenders to

reign in this unregulated market is in full

seems, this enormous amount of small

abandon the market leaving credit de-

force (Mayor…Declares War on Merchant

business lending activity is reminiscent

prived consumers with even fewer credit

Cash Advance). The story of predatory

of the go-go years of the payday lending

options. Had the industry been willing

practices whereby unscrupulous lenders

industry. Filling a desperate need for

to work with these authorities while they

scour Uniform Commercial Code (UCC)

cash to those left out of the traditional

were forming these regulations the dialog

filings for recent borrowers to entice

banking system, the payday-lending

may have resulted in a better solution.

them to take on debt they can’t afford,

marketplace ballooned to heights un-

among other issues, is causing even some

imaginable in such a short span of time.

small business lenders will suffer a simi-

in the industry to believe something must

lar fate. (FDIC ‘Paying Close Attention to’

be done to protect consumers.

industry, tout that their defaults are

Marketplace Lenders…) The complaints

relatively low, and industry observers

of unfair practices and outcomes are

a company that specializes in negotiat-

estimate that they may be close to 15%,

starting to get louder, yet the lenders

ing debt payment terms for small busi-

which may be acceptable. The question

have not come to the table to discuss

ness owners, is seeing an exponential

then becomes what happens to those

what is being done and what more can

rise in the number of clients coming

15% when they default? The sometimes

be done to protect the borrowers while

in for help in consolidating multiple

heart wrenching tales of those who

also giving them access to credit they

merchant cash advance loans and other

cannot make payments on these loans

desperately need.

debts. Many of these borrowers were

are making their way into the media

desperate and likely convinced to take

and have begun to generate a response

growing regulatory problem. Lenders

on a short-term debt solution that

from regulators, much as it did with the

like Vince Arnette of Corporate Rescue,

resulted in a long-term financial night-

payday lenders (Regulatory Road Likely

admit that while they don’t like a lot of

mare (Stacking: Merchant Cash Advance

to Get Bumpier for Alternative Lenders).

regulation, when it comes to lending it

Funders Jeopardize Main Street).

is a necessity. Lenders with this attitude,

control can be sketchy and a few bad

while in the minority, support industry

when it comes to lending it is virtually a

apples can bring the wrong kind of atten-

wide disclosure requirements, rate limi-

necessity. Instead of waiting to see what

tion to an entire industry. Many payday

tations and other measures to prevent

But, amid harsh criticism, with states

For instance, Corporate Turnaround,

While few people like regulations

These lenders, like the payday

As with any red-hot market, quality

If they are not careful, these new

Not all lenders are ignoring this



>> is possible to regulate the industry but

still allow for the innovation and risk taking needed to serve this underserved market.

lender abuses to protect the business

owners and legitimize the industry.

ing self-regulated is not practical nor is

fate will befall small business lenders

realistic or advisable. Everyone benefits

and their attempts to bring innovative

Finance Association (SBF Association),

from the certainty of uniform rules. The

products to the market. ✖

an industry trade association, hopes to

mainstream financial services system

focus on the education of policymakers

operates this way for a reason. While

and customers. However, while most

it may be challenging, it is possible to

companies act honorably and with the

regulate the industry but still allow for

best interests of the customers in mind,

the innovation and risk taking needed to

the lack of oversight makes it possible

serve this underserved market.

for more reckless or aggressive players to

do damage to both the customers and

reported, a number of the larger play-

the image of the industry.

ers in this space, such as Prosper and

The fact that certain States are

OnDeck, have failed to meet profitability

enacting regulations clearly shows that

expectations (Online Lenders’ Stumbles:

abuses are occurring in the industry as

Growing Pains or Flawed Model?). In the

evidenced by Illinois, New York and Cali-

short term this could put intense pres-

fornia’s moves to regulate this industry.

sure on these lenders to employ even

The Illinois bill would bar online lenders

more aggressive loan generating tactics

from making loans in which the total

that may result in a further increase in

monthly payments exceed 50% of the

consumer complaints.

borrower’s monthly net revenue. A sepa-

rate requirement would require lend-

ness lending industry must do more

ers to disclose the percentage of their

going forward to create a public dis-

loans that have defaulted. In addition,

course highlighting how their innovative

online small-business lenders based in

lending models really help small busi-

other states would be required to obtain

nesses thrive. They must also be open to

Illinois lending licenses. (States Seize

making changes to address legitimate

Initiative on Oversight of Online Business

concerns. If they fail to do this, then

Lenders). Unfortunately, it will not be

they will likely find themselves in the

long before an established set of differ-

same business crushing crosshairs as the

ing and conflicting state regulations is

payday lenders. The anti payday fervor

limiting small business lenders across

severely limited the introduction of in-

the country, and frustrating innovation

novative lending solutions for already

in the space.

credit starved consumers and if con-

Additionally, the Small Business

32 /

The industry’s insistence on be-

To make matters worse, as recently

In short, the maturing small busi-

certed action is not taken soon the same

Source Articles See CFPB Monitor article - https://www.cfpbmonitor. com/2016/04/14/cfpb-hires-assistant-director-foroffice-of-small-business-lending-markets-announcesother-senior-leadership-additions/ Mayor Rahm Emanuel Declares War on Merchant Cash Advance Stacking: Merchant Cash Advance Funders Jeopardize Main Street Regulatory Road Likely to Get Bumpier for Alternative Lenders FDIC ‘Paying Close Attention to’ Marketplace Lenders marketplace-lending/fdic-paying-close-attention-tomarketplace-lenders-gruenberg-says-1077718-1.html States Seize Initiative on Oversight of Online Business Lenders marketplace-lending/states-seize-initiative-onoversight-of-online-business-lenders-1080617-1.html Online Lenders’ Stumbles: Growing Pains or Flawed Model? marketplace-lending/online-lenders-stumblesgrowing-pains-or-flawed-model-1080856-1. html?utm_medium=email&ET=americanbanker:e 6657954:934837a:&utm_source=newsletter&utm_ campaign=marketplace%20lending-may%205%20 2016&st=email&eid=a7b6b1f590bf2e985f455db47 b4cebb3



3:52:07 PM



Be About That Life by Stacy D. Wilson

It seems that in your 30’s adulating is inching its way to becoming a fulltime career. By the time 40 knocks at the door, its official, play time is over and has been for several years now. Walking over the 40ish threshold changes the game of life and means a lot.

A couple of things on this bucket list

pet unicorns. For the others that are

may include being married with school

stomping a stiletto while raising their

• Every day will feel like a special day because you happily exist in it.

age kids, being rooted in your career,

fisted glass of Merlot, in desperate need

That’s not to say frustrations or doubts

time accrued and money invested

of a fresh start, consider this a prescrip-

won’t crop up like weeds to kill your

in paying a seemingly never ending

tion…Take 1 long hard look in the mirror

newly pursued dream but when it does,

mortgage and retirement plan. Like an

and simply say, “It’s time to invest in a

the newly planted perspective will quickly

ominous black hole, this list never seems

new me and BABY, I’m worth it!”

pluck up those ill-fated situations. This

to bottom out. Don’t get me wrong…all

First let’s look at the benefits of a new you: • Living the divine life in which you were created to live.

will make it easier for you to find your

• Whatever envies you may have for those living and enjoying their life will melt into nothingness.

new chapters of our lives. So we have to

of these things seem to provide safety and value but when they rank higher than your happiness, dreams, and true purpose, therein lies a problem. Maybe you think I’m painting a picture for the best drama of the year award. With all due respect, I’ll say to that audience I admire your life of double rainbows and

34 /

• It punctuates your testimony and draws more of the right people, places and things to you.

happy place and maintain it while progressing forward. Life is about growth and every so often we’re going to enter let go of some of our old outdated ideas and goals in order to make space for new dreams and ambitions. So how do we go about making this change?

Assessment Time…

ings out that resemble the vision that

put some action behind my faith and

This is the time to dive deep into

they hold internally. Computer friendly

be open to being a student of life. Life

thoughts and emotions by asking

people have been known to use tech-

is a classroom and there are so many

yourself what makes you happy. But if

nology in the form of google search for

resources available with college, the

this question feels exhausting to unravel

example, to find pictures and words,

library and/or the internet being the

like excited monkeys with free flowing

and quotes that they can use to make a

most easily accessible. In today’s day

balls of yarn then there are ways to make

power point presentation of what their

and age there are no excuses for finding

sense out of the mental madness. Here

new vision entails. Both ways work ex-

what is needed for personal or profes-

are a couple of things that can be done

ceptionally well and are mainly a matter

sional growth. It’s amazing to be alive in

to help with the internal confusion.

of preference. However, it’s good to be

such an age where an on-line degree can

1. Unleash your thoughts…

open to revisions.

be obtained while uniformed in pajamas

a. Journaling is tremendously therapeutic. The freedom to write whatever one desires and then return to it later for evaluation can be freeing…Especially when frustrated.

3. Plaids or polka dots.

and rollers while watching Family Feud.

When my faith is large and I think about

5. Don’t throw the baby out with the bath water.

b. Praying and meditating can also help to center oneself to get answers. Praying is setting the intention and meditating is clearing the mind to receive the answers and direction. It’s both magical and beautiful. God easily offers the perfect answer to what could be perceived to be a problem.

flips and get all silly, encouraging me to

all the things that I want and desire, like a kid in a toy store, my mind turns throw everything short of dating Bradely Cooper on my goal list. This is problematic at times because like plaid and polka dots, the goals may clash. For example suppose I wanted to go back to school

c. Prayer Partnerships are essential for success. Mathew 18:20 says, “For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.” It’s refreshing to have a sounding board that can be trusted unequivocally with the mind’s inner workings who won’t judge or force feed unsolicited advice. Although sometimes it might be sought.

to become an entertainment lawyer,

2. Imagination precedes creation.

within my right to want what I want but

Now that there are ideas to work with it’s easier to piece together a vision for

how will this fit into my life if I also want to spend quality time with my new born twins while having time for my husband? Unless my name is Linda Carter/ Wonder Woman something has got to give. Vision boards are perfect to refine goals for clarity sake. Yes, it’s perfectly being organized will help to minimize unnecessary conflicts down the road in

what is wanted to upgraded ones life.

pursuing my vision.

Vision boards are excellent for this kind

4. Put some skin in the game.

of a project. Some people go old school

After I’m clear in what I want and need

by cutting magazine pictures and say-

to upgrade my happiness, it’s time to

Know that you’re already fully equipped and have a jewelry box of shimmering assets to pull from. Being the new you probably only requires a little personal tweaking and not a major overhaul. Be generous when looking into what you’re already doing that is going right and upgrade it to make it spectacular so that it fits your new needs. For example you may feel stuck in your 10 year career as a teacher. Does this mean that you should forgo all that invested experience and time and give your co-workers the Jerry Maguire, whose coming with me speech, to pursue being a professional travel photographer? Well, actually you could, if you wanted and it would be entertaining for your boss but what if you made a plan. Possibly even looked for and got hired for a teaching gig in another country where in your free time you could take freelance photographs to sell? By



taking something old and familiar and

believe me, ask the Israelites that Moses

7. You’ve got the keys

transforming it into something new and

was in charge of leading. Philippians

So, you’ve put in the work to become

refreshing, you’ve just helped your tran-

4:6 reads, “Don’t worry about anything;

clear of what needs to change, you’ve

sition to be that much easier.

instead, pray about everything. Tell God

mapped out your course and you’re

6. Every day is Thanksgiving

what you need, and thank him for all he

ready to step out on faith and make it

has done.” This is both an exciting yet

do what it do. Now, it’s time to start the

relaxing scripture. It reminds me that

car, be patient and most importantly for

God has got my back in helping me to

better or worse give thanks on your

achieve my goals. I don’t have to stress

journey to the new you. And just a final

or worry that my prayers big or small will

note if you ever get stuck in traffic and

go unheard or unanswered. Simply put,

want to throw in the towel, just look

He genuinely cares about the old and

at how far you’ve come and lastly

new me. That’s very comforting and for

remember why you started. ✖

In dealing with a perceived glass half empty, being thankful will help to change perspectives, making the glass half. It ain’t always easy to sing Mary Poppin’s just a spoon full of sugar when dealing with an emotionally charged problem. However, having a problematic attitude towards a problem can make a 10 day trip 40 years of agony. If you don’t

36 /

that I’m very thankful.


­— Presents —

“Opportunities in the New Economy for African Americans” FSIC is pleased to announce the launch of a Forum Series to be held at select HBCUs in the Eastern United States.

Come join the discussion and talk with the experts about entrepreneurial and employment opportunities being created in the community by Financial and Technological Innovation! For more information please email:—reference “Forum Series” in the subject line



Destination los angeles, California by Jonathan Howe of Two Monkeys Travel Hilton San Diego/Del Mar & Hilton San Diego Bayfront


Los Angeles is the city of dreams for many. It is the center of American entertainment industry, Hollywood. It is always sunny in Golden State of California, you will never run out of things to do in LA all-year round.

alk with 1 Wthe Stars at

This unique monument along the stretch of Hollywood Boulevard is one of the must see attractions in Hollywood. The names of the stars that made their mark in the entertainment industry are embedded in a five point star brass-made monument. There are more than 2000 stars on the walk of fame. As you walk along you will pass by several famous attractions like the Dolby and Chinese theaters. Around this area, there are dressed characters from your favorite Hollywood movies, they will ask for a dollar if you like to take a picture.

38 /


Hollywood Walk of Fame

elax at Santa 2 RMonica Beach This iconic beach made famous by the TV series Bay Watch is enjoyed by visitors around the world year round. Aside from the 3-mile long beach, rolling waves that is great for surfing, bike and walking


paths there are several attractions to enjoy in Santa Monica Pier. There’s a small

xplore the Venice 3 EBeach Board Walk

theme park, several restaurants and retail establishments. Enjoy the pacific sunset after a long day at the beach.

Just beside Santa Monica beach is the equally famous Venice Beach. The boardwalk is what most people brings to this place. You’ll see unbelievable stunts, people playing music, medical marijuana and anything being sold just to make the ends meet. It’s lively


and entertaining.

ee the 4 SHollywood Sign One of the most photographed icons in the world, your visit in Los Angeles is not complete without spotting the Hollywood sign. It is mostly visible from all over the city so you will not miss a spot. It is illegal to get close to the sign, it’s guarded by gates, park rangers and security cameras. A convenient spot is from Hollywood and Highland shopping mall, just outside the metro station.




our Universal 5 tStudios Hollywood Never miss this in your list of things to do in Los Angeles, make sure to visit this entertainment capital of LA. Unlike other franchises of Universal Studios Theme Park around the world, this theme park’s best attraction in LA is the studio tour. You will ride a tram and it will take you behind the scenes of several TV series and movies produced in Hollywood. It’s surprising that some of the places that looked like a real neighborhood in some TV series are actually shot in the studio. My personal favorite attraction of the studio tour is the King Kong 360 3-D. It will take you to the recreated version of Skull Island, from Peter Jackson’s award-winning remake of King Kong. The effects are awesome, you’ll feel like you’re in the movie being tossed around as King Kong and the T-Rex engaged in an


epic battle.

a celebrity 6 Sinpot Beverly Hills If you’re a huge fan of Hollywood celebrities this might top your list of thing to do in Los Angeles. This place also known as 90210 due to its zip code is home to many celebrities in Hollywood. There are tours you can join to visit the houses of some of the big names in Hollywood’s entertainment industry. If you have a taste for luxury brands, you can walk around Rodeo drive and you might spot some celebrities while shopping.

40 /


p xplore the landmarks in 7 EDowntown LA One of my favorite movie, 500 Days of Summer was

are also other iconic place to visit here that hosts

mostly shot in Downtown LA. I’m so delighted to see

regular events such as the the Staple Center, home of

the locations where some of the scenes were shot,

Los Angeles Lakers or the Nokia Theater (now known

such as the Continental Building in South Spring

as the Microsoft Theater) which is famous for music

Street and Tom’s bench in Bunker Hill. Aside from sev-

events such as American Idol Finale and MTV Video

eral movies shot in Downtown Los Angeles, there

Music Awards. ✖



Pastor Kimberly Jones Pothier My 40’z Life

by Sandra Wyckoff

Meet Pastor Kim, aka “Real Talk Kim”, one of Oxygen’s ‘Preachers of Atlanta’ star who is conquering Hell in High Heels! My 40’z

favorite quote

My 40’z

Rejection is God’s protection. I realized this as I released everyone that had caused me great pain and began looking forward to my purpose. My 40’z

Even though I was raised in a pastor’s home, I ran from my purpose for many years. It took total loss of marriage, home and business to bring me to my knees and allow God to do a complete work in and through me. I was 36 years old when I returned to my parents’ home totally broken and now I am 44 and feel as though I am on the top of the world. God is waiting on each of us to just give up. He does not live in time as we do so He will wait on us until we are ready.

How I stay spiritually grounded I have given permission to my family and dearest friends to be honest with me about me.

My 40’z

When I am at peace most When I am…. experiencing the freedom for others that comes through God’s anointing. I am questioned as to how I travel weekly to many cities ministering in different venues and never get tired of doing it again the next week. I realize I am flowing in God’s purpose for my life. In my brokenness, He gave me the ability to see pain in others. I live to see others free.

My 40’z

My 40’z

My 40’z

My 40’z

song that lifts me up When my son, Morgan, who is my worship leader, begins to sing, “I Need You, I Love You, I Want You” by Tenth Avenue North, I crumble into Jesus’ presence because I realize I cannot make it a day without Him.

/ Photography: Drea Nicole /

42 /

best mistake Was getting married for the 2nd time before I was 20 years old. I was determined to make it work no matter the cost because I could not face failure again. If it had not been for that second failure or mistake, I am not sure I would be where I am today nor have the most amazing two sons in the world. I thank God every day that He allowed me to go through divorce twice and He still uses me.

shoes I wear to make me feel like I can conquer the world I am partial to Dr. Martens or any type of boot that gives me the comfort to just be me while standing for several hours. I refuse to allow a stiletto to rule my life and cause severe pain when I need to be focused on hearing God’s voice.

finding my purpose in life

advice to women working in a man’s world Be yourself and allow Jesus to be Lord of everything you do. He will open doors that no man can open and put you at the right place and right time. I can truly testify that I am amazed every day where I am standing. I could never have done this nor be where I am today without Jesus’ guidance.

Book available on Amazon.c om

My 40’z

what I now know One thing I have found that sometimes God breaks your spirit to save your soul. He will allow everyone to leave your life until you realize who is most important. With God, you can do anything. Without Him, you are just a failure waiting to be exposed.

My 40’z

song that lifts me up When my son, Morgan, who is my worship leader, begins to sing, “I Need You, I Love You, I Want You” by Tenth Avenue North, I crumble into Jesus’ presence because I realize I cannot make it a day without Him.

My 40’z

looking back with no regrets On the subject of Preachers of Atlanta, I had many reservations going into this project. My family and I prayed and counseled countless hours to make sure this was a God move. When the project was completed, we all looked back and knew I had done my best to show the world that Jesus is first in my life. He gave me the opportunity to put Him in front of thousands of people that may never have walked into a church. I am so thankful that I can look back with no regrets and know I did my best to show others Jesus through the face of Kimberly. That’s what it is all about. ✖



Have We Become Comfortable With

violence Against Women? by Tonya D. Bradley


I recently watched ABC’s $100,000 Pyramid game show when I was completely shocked by the actions of one of the contestants. He was giving clues to celebrity Natasha Lyonne to help her guess the title of a category. The category was “Things You Hit.” In sequence, the contestant gave these clues—­­a baseball, a person, your wife. Your wife? I gasped and groaned right along with the audience. Of course, he didn’t win the category, because there was no way Natasha Lyonne would have guessed the category correctly after hearing, “Your wife.” When she saw the title of the category, she too reacted in disbelief. The contestants first response was, “I guess I’ll never have a wife.”


It is difficult to view this as a harmless oversight. I was dis-

still permitted in many countries. Additionally, new avenues

gusted by his ignorance, but given how desensitized we are

for attacks have emerged through social media.

about violence against women, it’s sadly understandable. As

an advocate for domestic violence awareness and as a survi-

senators, Tom Cruz and John Cornyn, voted against the

vor of abuse myself, this is concerning. The matter of violence

Violence Against Women Act in 2013. In 2014, the number of

against women is a tough topic to discuss. What we see in the

women killed by their husbands or boyfriends increased more

media daily deprives us of sensitization to its seriousness. Do-

than 20 percent in Harris County, Texas. The victims ranged

mestic violence is a global epidemic that can cause the same

from 16 to 90 years old. Seventy-seven percent of them were

results as other life threatening, physically and emotionally

killed at home. In addition to the 132 deaths of women at the

crippling illnesses, so why have we turned a blind eye to it?

hands of their partners or former partners, 84 were children

who watched their mothers die.

Notwithstanding the gains women have made in careers,

Regrettably, I live in the State of Texas, where both Texas

politics, and education, violence against women continues to

increase worldwide. As groups continue to advocate for laws

tude and is present in every single country around the world,

that criminalize violence, horrible acts such as marital rape is

it is still not of real importance for most governments. ✖

44 /

Although violence against women has epidemic magni-




Oil AND natural Gas EMPOWER YOUR Life by Derrick Hollie

46 /

U.S. energy independence relates to the goal of reducing the United States imports of petroleum and other foreign sources of energy.



As a young man, one of my first jobs was with Norfolk South-

comes from gasoline. This means higher prices for everyone,

ern Railway. In Norfolk, some of the most common sights were

especially Black families on the verge of energy poverty.

rail cars — hundreds every day — carrying coal to be shipped

off to other countries.

Chamber of Commerce, one EPA regulation, the so-called

“Clean Power Plan,” would drive 23 percent more of the black

Back then coal was seen as a way of making life easier for

According to a study conducted by the National Black

millions across the world. My grandfather was a coal miner, and

community into poverty. Black Americans would not only be

for black Americans like me, coal has been a game-changer. It

paying more to power homes, we’d also experience job losses

allowed us to power our homes and businesses without spend-

and higher costs on everyday goods.

ing a fortune, and increased our productivity by powering

time- and effort-saving technology.

others, this would be a double whammy. That’s because higher

energy costs make everything more expensive to produce. It costs

Personal experience has shown me that reliable, abundant,

With black Americans already suffering lower incomes than

and affordable energy changes lives for the better. When af-

businesses more to keep the lights on or have energy-intensive

fordable energy is available to all, it is a tide that lifts all boats.

factories running. This added cost has to be balanced somehow,

and layoffs or reduced job creation are likely outcomes. The

Energy makes us more productive, empowering us to seek

our full potential. Consider the miracle of modern lighting. In

National Black Chamber of Commerce’s estimates put this at 7

the 1800s, a day of labor earned you about five hours of light.

million fewer jobs for black Americans nationwide by 2035.

Today, a day’s work gets you 20,000 hours of light. That means

we have more time to pursue an education and spend time

of the population, but for the black community, the impact

with our families.

would be worse. Many black Americans are already at a dis-

advantaged economic position, with median incomes 33

Still, many families—especially in the African-American

community, suffer from what is known as “energy poverty,” which means the burden of energy costs is so high that families must make painful decisions about paying their utility bill or skipping meals. But how could it be, in 2017, that millions of American families struggle to pay for energy?

At some point, policymakers here in the United States

decided to turn their back on abundant, reliable, and affordable energy. In Washington, D.C., regulators have worked to make fossil fuels more expensive while propping up inferior technologies.

Higher energy prices will be destructive for all segments

“In Washington, D.C.,

regulators have worked to make fossil fuels more expensive while propping up inferior technologies.”

Yet more than two-thirds of our electricity comes from

natural gas and coal, and more than 90% of our motor fuel


1 day of work =

48 /

5 hours of light


1 day of work =

20,000 hours of light

Cost of Powering Homes + Goods


Clean power act

Could drive 23% more of the black community into poverty

) Derrick Hollie Founder of Reaching America, a

Every dollar and hour saved by easy access to energy greatly increases quality of life across the board.

501(c)(4) organization developed

No. of Jobs

to address complex social issues impacting communities.

percent lower than the national average as recently as 2013. For us to catch up with the general population, we can’t afford any additional handicaps.

Relying on plentiful and convenient sources of energy would em-

power the Black community. Every dollar and hour saved by easy access to energy greatly increases quality of life across the board. If we head in the opposite direction, the results will be disastrous for the millions of American who deserve a chance to climb the ladder of opportunity.

Not everybody had the same opportunity as me to see just how much

the world relies on natural gas, coal, and oil as forms of plentiful and affordable energy. But we all reaped the benefits, especially the black communities who used that energy to pursue the American Dream that had for so long been closed off to us. ✖





Reduce, Reuse, Recycle by Charles Brooks

Remember when you were in elementary school and the teacher taught you the “three Rs” of the environment: Reduce, Reuse, Recycle? I sure do.

At the end of the day, the solution starts with us— each and every one of us reaching out to people in our local communities and doing our part to make the world a better place. 50 /

It was a valuable lesson that we should have all

taken to heart. After all, we have one planet to live

“hoisting human bodies” in the air, airplanes

on, so we should make sure to conserve it for

empower us in many ways. They allow us to visit

future generations.

our families during the holidays, travel the world,

conduct business and explore new cultures.

Yet over the last several years, that positive mes-

This disdain makes no sense. Far from merely

sage of responsible stewardship for the benefit of

mankind has morphed into an agenda that elevates

good thing. Before abundant energy, it used to take

the environment over actual human beings.

weeks or months to sail across the Atlantic Ocean.

People used to be viewed as part of the solution,

Yes, fossil fuels make air travel possible. That’s a

Today, thanks to oil and natural gas, the worst

with everyone playing their part. But now, unfortu-

thing you have to worry about when traveling is

nately, people are seen as part of the problem.

long lines, delays, and bag fees.

But, by almost any measure, people committed

And regarding the minor inconveniences of

to improving our world have made the environment

modern air travel, the whole reason Heathrow

better over time, not worse.

wanted to build new runways was to ease congestion

for planes arriving and departing.

Don’t believe me? According to the Environ-

mental Protection Agency, pollution from smog

and other harmful emissions has declined 57%

struggle. Around the world, 1.2 billion people lack

since 1980, while population has risen 35% and our

access to electricity and another 2.5 billion people

economy has grown 122%.

lack adequate sanitation, mostly in Africa, where I

spend a lot of time working on development, and

This sounds like a win-win for the economy and

Despite the gains we’ve made, many people still

the environment.

other parts of the developing world.

The extreme campaign has gotten to the point

The solution isn’t to stop building airports and

where recently, environmental campaigners in the

having families. Quite the opposite. The world

UK argued against building new runways at Heath-

needs more energy, not less. We need more schools,

row, one of the busiest airports in the world. Why?

hospitals, businesses—and yes, airport runways.

Because of the perceived impact on the environment.

us—each and every one of us reaching out to

“In a world seeking to prevent climate break-

At the end of the day, the solution starts with

down, there is no remaining scope for extending

people in our local communities and doing our

infrastructure that depends on fossil fuels,” wrote

part to make the world a better place. Just like

an author for the UK Guardian newspaper. “Using

they taught us in school. ✖

kerosene to hoist human bodies into the air means massive impacts.”

Contributor / Charles Brooks

Just like they taught us in school.



High Blood Pressure & Heart Disease by American Heart Association

High blood pressure is considered a silent killer. It sneaks up on you, carries

Understanding your numbers

no symptoms and can put you at risk for heart disease. It can also feel like it came out of nowhere, like it did for survivor, Shermane Winters-Wofford. Shermane thought she was perfectly healthy – until she suffered a stroke. And as it turns out, her family history of high blood pressure and heart disease had put her at risk all along. High blood pressure, also known as HBP or hypertension, is a widely misunderstood. We often assume it affects those who are type-A, tense and aggressive. But the truth is, it has nothing to do with personality traits. In fact, you can be the most relaxed, calm person and still suffer from HBP. The reality is that HBP is a condition that makes the heart work harder than normal. And left untreated, it scars and damages your arteries and can lead to heart attack, stroke, kidney failure, eye damage, heart failure and fatty buildups in the arteries, called atherosclerosis. Today, Shermane’s eats right, exercises regularly and tracks her blood pressure every day. She also makes sure others don’t underestimate the importance of knowing their blood pressure numbers and family history. Are you ready to join her in the fight against heart disease?

Blood pressure is typically recorded as two numbers and a written as a ratio.

52 /

Systolic: The top number in the ratio, which is also the higher of the two, measures the pressure in the arteries when the heart beats. Diastolic: The bottom number in the ratio, which is also the lower of the two, measures the pressure in the arteries between heartbeats. Your blood pressure rises with each heartbeat and falls when your heart relaxes between beats. While it can change from minute to minute with changes in posture, exercise, stress or sleep, it should normally be less than 120/80 mm Hg for women age 20 or over.

Here’s how the numbers are evaluated: Normal: Less than 120 systolic and less than 80 diastolic Pre-hypertension: 120-139 systolic or 80-89 diastolic Hypertension: 140 or higher systolic or 90 or higher diastolic Hypertensive Crisis: higher than 180 or higher than 110 diastolic Because blood pressure can fluctuate, consider investing in a home blood pressure monitor to record your numbers regularly. Doing so can help your healthcare provider determine whether you really have high blood pressure and, if you do, whether your treatment plan is working.

Decreasing your risk As a woman, you have an increased risk of developing high blood pressure if you are 20 pounds or more overweight, have a family history of high blood pressure, or have reached menopause. But you don’t have to suffer two strokes, like Shermane, before you start taking action to prevent it. While there is no cure, HBP is manageable and preventable by adopting a healthy lifestyle that includes a diet low in salt, saturated fats, cholesterol and alcohol. Physical activity and weight loss are also key factors in lowering your numbers. And these simple changes can go a long way.

40zROCK / RSVP s


Letter of Invitation from



40zROCK Especially for YOU!

Dear 40zRocker, When you turned forty, was it met with delight or dread? Was the first thing that came to your mind, “I can now live my life" or "It’s all down-hill from here?" There are billions of women entering into, or already in, their forties asking themselves these same questions. Were you aware there is an organization that tailors to the needs of women in their forties? There is, and that organization is 40zROCK. The mission of 40zROCK is to provide a membership-based platform for women in their forties to come together and celebrate their right to age gracefully and beautifully; to share their accomplishments, support, and be involved in outlets for making positive life changes within themselves and their communities. These are women from all walks of life­—all beautiful hues and tones, shapes and sizes, with an optimistic outlook on life. 40zROCK was founded by Sandra Wyckoff in Houston, Texas in ???/ (year). It has since gone global, popping up in major cities across the US and abroad. Sandra is a woman of class, couture and culture. Upon entering her forties, she realized the need for an organization that helped women embrace their forties and their commitment of self and community growth. When she refers to a woman who ROCKS in her forties, she is distinctly referring to YOU! You, a woman who has done the work on herself and has reached a level of awareness and balance; mentally, physically and spiritually. She believes that once a woman has turned forty and tapped into these areas of her life, then she ROCKS. And when she ROCKS, she can ROCK THE WORLD! 40zROCK is looking for women in their forties who ROCK and want to join this exciting and rewarding movement. If you are in your forties and would like to Rock the World with us, please visit, or speak to a 40zROCKER in your area to find out how become a member of this fast-growing organization.

Sincerely, Sandra Wyckoff Founder, 40zROCK


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