z 40 ROCK Quarterly Magazine / Issue No. 8
REDEFINE & REACQUAINT THE WORLDâ€™S
Michele Thornton SVP, BET Networks / Centric TV
A NEW BEGINNING
WORTH FIGHTING FOR 40ZROCK.COM
40zROCK / BEAUTY
ORIGINAL BEAUTY vs COPY 9.0 by Brenda Combs-Jefferson
Just one more, right? Here are just a few of many:
WAIST TRAINERS When you are an Original, you never
As an original, you must establish and
Research from several studies has proven that excessive use of waist trainers can be dangerous to your health. Many of these studies say its due to the adjustment that it makes to the position of the human organs. Does it mean that they are horrible?
keep the integrity of your identity.
Hmmmm ... You decide.
stray too far away from what sets you apart from everyone else. You always stand out; never blend in!
Pop Culture has led us to believe
that we need waist trainers, weave,
Lashes, how amazingly fabulous, right?
lashes, glute implants, breast implants, and that we must starve ourselves.
GLUTE INJECTION OR IMPLANTS
I remember the movie, “I’mma Get
You Sucka,” there was a funny yet reality type scene for today’s women. It’s a
Absolutely curv-a-licious, right?
scene where this woman takes off her
wig, fake leg, eye and other additions. Once you got down to the real her, it was pretty shocking. Sometimes the additions we add take away from us.
Beautifully bountiful, right?
+SO MANY MORE
At some point, you have to ask
yourself, if I am a Brand, an original, a
working with. It’s another thing to create
masterpiece, a work of art, why should I
a generic & new you.
add so many generic additions? It’s one
thing to enhance what you are already
you more than you’re willing to pay. ✖
Sometimes GENERIC BEAUTY, will cost
40zROCK / FORTY, FABULOUS & FREE
BE YOUR OWN LIFE MIXOLOGIST by Tanai Benard
It has been said that when life gives you lemons you should make lemonade. Iâ€™ve had to make my fair share of lemonade. So much so that Iâ€™ve officially shut down the lemonade stand and upgraded to making lemon margaritas with just an innocent splash of tequila. Before
this mother of the world turned into a Mixologist of the world; many days, I would think to myself; does everyone have to fight the struggle or is it just some of us? I would ponder if there was ever anyone who had ever had a life of eternal rainbows and roses bestowed upon them.
Here are my perfect ingredients for
reaching the demise of our seven year
eventually my babies would have to deal
a Lemon Margarita with an innocent
union. (This is a sudden the start/abrupt
with the fact that mommy and daddy
splash of tequila. Get ready to drink
content change. You stated “we” without
would get a divorce (it happened sooner
from the fun and sometimes unpredict-
saying anything about your ex. It could
than later). Add to that the audacious
able cocktail glass I call life.
be as easy a fix as subs turning “my
decision to start that phase of our lives
former husband and I” or adding more
on the other side of the world with no lo-
plate and ask myself—where did I go
background ) An opportunity for me to
cal support in place and eight suitcases
wrong? What did I do that causes me to
teach abroad arose that would give us
in tow. You have the perfect mixture of
continuously end up on the losing end
the change we so desperately desired.
fear, determination, and success.
of life with its dramatic battles? By the
We had the chance to resettle our chil-
age of 30, I found myself trying to beat
dren and ourselves and get a start fresh
purchase four one-way tickets back to
the odds. I was a divorced single mother
in the Middle East. We were both in
America if things didn’t go as planned.
of three elementary aged children,
agreement that this opportunity would
Giving up was not an option I could
former welfare recipient and survivor of
be beneficial for our marriage, fam-
entertain. I HAD to succeed. I could not
domestic violence. At this point in my life
ily and finances. We had less than four
allow the fear of failure to consume me.
I decided to pull out the margarita glass,
months to pack up our lives and become
I placed all my trust in God and didn’t
sprinkle the brim with salt and proceed-
official expatriates. Unfortunately, our
doubt nor question His ability to provide
ed to make that bomb.com margarita.
marriage could not be revived before we
for us. We had the essentials we needed.
At that time, it seemed that all the odds
reached the airport. Instead of being a
My new employer provided us tem-
were stacked against me. If you have you
family of five starting a journey abroad,
porary shelter in a hotel and I had the
ever looked at the latest polls, statistics
we boarded the airplane to the Middle
promise of future income from my posi-
and research conclusions, they all say I’m
East as 4 Deep (three kids, one parent).
tion as an educator. I was also equipped
destined for failure and a life of poverty.
with a bold and optimistic level of faith.
My plan was never to become a negative
a foreign world as a single parent. If you
Faith is one of the determining key com-
social statistic. I set forth to prove every
are a single parent who started off with
ponents to my success.
statistic about who they (whomever
a spouse, you know that entering into
THEY is) said I was suppose to be wrong.
single parenthood has its challenges. I
forever, and for the better. Until two
I declared then and there that I was des-
had those challenges and I added a few
years ago, I had never experienced a
tined for greatness and failure was not
more for special effect just to keep it
place of true eternal peace as an adult.
interesting. So far, my cocktail mixture
Here is what happened: I was standing
was: I was a new single parent, I was
on the balcony of our 21st floor condo
My former husband and I both needed
uprooting my children from their familiar
overlooking the beautiful blue sea.
a change that would keep us from
home life in America and I knew that
Everything seemed so peaceful, so right.
For a long time I would sit, contem-
In 2013, my marriage had flat lined.
I started a new chapter of my life in
I had no Plan B nor reserve funds to
Trusting God has changed my life
At that moment, I felt the weight I had
several countries and we enrich our cul-
many of us have something in life that
been carrying for so long immediately
tural experiences when go. We’ve spent
has us scared and has us hesitating to
remove itself from me. It was like my bur-
frigid nights and blistering hot days
“move” on. We allow society and our
dens took wings and flew away. At that
camping in the deserts of the United
self doubt to dictate what we should
very moment I knew I had found peace.
Arab Emirates, explored Sri Lanka for
and shouldn’t be able to do. We have to
It felt like I was standing in the eye of a
Christmas, walked the beaches of Thai-
release ourselves from that mindset.
hurricane. There was a storm around me
land and visited the temples of Malaysia.
but all I could see was the beauty in the
These are just a few examples of the
our children, they can do anything they
current calmness and I KNEW the storm
adventures we’ve experienced in the last
put their minds to, yet we fail to heed
would pass. I KNEW with everything
nine months. Moving abroad has placed
our own parental advice. Making such a
in my being, the storm would subside.
me in a position that allows me to enjoy
bold move to the United Arab Emirates
Succumbing to depression or a mental
a stress free life as a single parent.
was never on my radar nor was it on any
breakdown was not and could not be my
vision board I had created. I’m so happy
way out. I had found my place of peace
to travel throughout the year with my
I pushed through my fears and doubts
in the midst of the storm.
children, I also make time for myself. I
and opened myself up to an option out-
use my ME time to re center, rejuvenate,
side of the norm.
that may seem impractical to others but
and refocus; not only as a mother but
is normal to me. I opened myself to gen-
as a woman. This is my essential time
of being the poster child for single moth-
uine opportunities for personal growth
to focus on my mental and emotional
ers. I was simply tired of struggling and
and set out to prove the impossible was
well-being. In the last year, I’ve experi-
living paycheck to paycheck, or as my
possible. Doing so has allowed my chil-
enced/seen/walked around the Eiffel
elders often said, robbing Peter to pay
dren and myself a chance to experience
Tower, biked down and over the streets
Paul. If I had not taken this chance and
the world in a hands-on manner. I work
of Amsterdam, drank the fine wine of the
stepped out on faith, I would still be in
to live now, not live to work. I chose to
Tuscany Vineyards, partied all night in
the rat race. Boy!!! Am I glad I did!! Doing
take a leap of faith and not allow a nega-
the streets of Cancun and experienced
this has allowed my children to see the
tive situation dictate my future. ( this is
some serious R&R in Bahrain. I say none
world, meet great people along the way
beautifully and eloquently stated)
of this to boast or brag but to assure you
and live in a place of peace and happi-
that the storm doesn’t last forever. I’m
ness I didn’t know could exist.
pledge to literally give my children the
a living testimony. I want to encourage
world. I pledged to give them a new
you to not allow the world with their
may just spread wings you never knew
world experience or adventure every
negative statistics and polls to dictate
you had and SOAR! ✖
100 to 150 days. We board planes and
the outcome of your outcome in life.
trains and put our passports to use by
frequently visiting new countries. In the
is not like mine and may not consist of
last nine months, 4 Deep has explored
a bold move across the world. However,
I embraced a single parent lifestyle
As a single mother I made a self
Not only do I get an opportunity
I understand that everyone’s journey
It’s funny because we always tell
I didn’t make this decision in hopes
From me to you, I say JUMP! You