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LOVE & RELATIONSHIPS
How to Rekindle Your Relationship When the Flames Go Out BY MARY CAMPBELL
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re you sad and disappointed about your relationship? Perhaps it used to be full of fun, romance, and passion, but the flames have died down, and you want to ignite them again. The described phenomena are common and often fixable. Good intentions and a willing partner are all you need. Reignite pillow talk How good is communication between you and your partner? If you are unhappy, the chances are it's not terrific. Regular, healthy conversations are the first step to a happy relationship. Partners often fall out because they don't listen well. They have separate agendas and struggle to get their views across, too. As a result, they don't hear each other well. When couples meet, they enjoy pillow talk, and there's space for intimate chats about emotions and dreams, and they have high hopes for the current relationship. Later, couples stop sharing innermost thoughts and restrict conversations to mundane subjects like household chores. No wonder the magic fades. There's no fuel to keep the fire alight. You'll connect better if you instigate
personal conversations. Change regular small talk and deepen it. Rather than ask your partner if their day went well and settle for a "yes" or "no" response, boost your awareness of their experience. Even if you think you understand them, try harder to put yourself in their shoes, and suggest they give you similar support. Fan the flames of connection with intimate talk, and it will help keep your relationship alive. Plan and visualize your future together Recognize what you and your partner want and whether your ideals match to
get back on track. You probably began your union on common ground and knew you shared expectations. When communication went awry, you stopped discussing your hopes for a shared future together. It's not too late to make amends. Talk about joint ideals and the direction you want to go and you'll be closer. If your aims aren't similar, at least you'll see where you stand and can decide what to do next. Date like new lovers do You're not as curious as you were at the start of your relationship. Nor are you as
adventurous about going out and spending quality time together. The magic you felt when you began dating has gone, but there's a good chance you can bring it back. Get vulnerable and dig for the treasure you've missed as you take turns to ask questions. Perhaps you think you have nothing more to learn about your partner, but they have hidden depths. Update each other about ways either of you've changed. You could also share childhood memories and talk about what it was like growing up where you lived as a kid. Rather than follow your usual routine as a couple, consider what you used to love but stopped doing. Maybe you used to visit fairgrounds, see live bands, or dance? Similarly, picnics, walking handin-hand, and eating out need not be longforgotten pleasures. Remember For a better, healthier relationship, increase communication. Find out more about each other and get closer. If you listen well, fewer misunderstandings will arise. Also, remember why you got together. Sharing good times, and learning more about each other, will relight the embers of your relationship.l
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