people don’t understand," she thought. She figured they either react by condemning her, asking her if she’s repented, or they would condone what’s she’s done and try to justify it. But that wasn’t what Heather needed at that moment. She was already feeling plenty of condemnation. Women who go through an abortion often feel like what they have done is so bad, no one can help. There is no hope. Satan never lets them forget what they did. And to have others pile on is so painful, they can’t handle more of it. She also didn’t want anyone to help her justify what she had done. She knew how horrible it was. There was no justification for it.
So What Did Heather Need? How can churches reach out to women (and men) who have gone through an abortion? What does a helpful conversation with people in this situation look like? It is very easy for self-righteousness to present itself when someone finds out about an out-of-wedlock pregnancy or an abortion. But if we can turn our attention toward love, the conversation can look quite different. Jesus gives us a great example in John 4, where he meets the Samarian woman at the well. Jews were not supposed to mingle with Samaritans, so the very fact that he converses with her is remarkable – and instructive. Simply by being there, Jesus shows that he values the woman. Jesus also offers her something more valuable than the water she was drinking – again showing He considered her to be important. This is where it begins – giving value. One of the best things we can say to someone who has gone through an abortion is quite simply: “I’m so sorry you went through this and I’m so sorry you’ve lost your baby.” One sentence shows the person that you care for them and that you care for the baby. Your concern is for them. And it shows you value them. People who have gone through an abortion (whether it’s the mother, the father, or the grandparents), have had condemnation from Satan thrown on them in heavy doses. They feel low. They think they have no value. By showing them love, it gives them a glimmer of hope that maybe there is some redemption for this horrible thing they’ve done.
MAKING AN IMPACT
Partnering With the Local Church to Meet the Needs of Surprise Parents In the middle of the night, a phone rings, your grandchildren are no longer able to stay in their home with their parents. What you planned to be your Golden years have changed. Your days are now filled with school meetings, court hearings, and the sound of children in your hallways. The road ahead is not easy, but the road is paved with love. This very scene is playing out in communities all across America. Grandparents, Aunts and Uncles, and foster parents are caring for children who can no longer be in the care of their parents. In the United States over 2,000,000 children are currently living with relatives or close family friends. In the last five years, the Grafted Ministry at Pleasant Hill Christian Church has had the privilege of working with these special families. Through support groups, foster parents night out, and special events we have seen firsthand the joys, struggles, and needs kinship and foster families face. The good news is they do not have to face them alone. Numerous times in the past, the North Georgia Pregnancy Center has partnered with Pleasant Hill to provide valuable resources for the Grafted Ministry families. It has been a blessing to arrive at a new foster or kinship family’s house with bags of clothes, diapers, and wipes all provided by the NGPC. More than anything else, it reminds the family that they are not alone, the community supports them. Through the partnership with the North Georgia Pregnancy Center, families are introduced to a community partner that will come alongside and support them in the journey ahead. This is a growing area of demand here in North Georgia, with more and more families needing help with their grandchildren, nieces, and nephews. – Kasey Kuyper, director of Grafted Ministry and senior minister of Pleasant Hill Christian Church
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