October 2022

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VOLUME 39, #8 OCTOBER 2022

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Family RESOURCE Guide - Pull Out and Save!


2 WNY Family October 2022


October 2022 • Volume 39 • Issue 8

EDITOR & PUBLISHER Michele Miller

Where It’s At! Happy Halloween!

GENERAL MANAGER Paul Kline SALES REPRESENTATIVE Paul Kline GRAPHIC DESIGNERS Karen Wawszczyk Melanie Schroeder CONTRIBUTORS Barbara Blackburn • Donna Phillips Richard De Fino • Deborah Williams Kathy Lundquist • Myrna Beth Haskell Mike Daugherty

Features: 6n

Easy-to-Make Costumes

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Spooktacular Treats

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Inspiring Boys to Become Lifelong Readers by Tanni Haas, Ph.D.

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Great Reading Apps for Boys by Tanni Haas, Ph.D.

Visit Our Web Site www.wnyfamilymagazine.com

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Learning to Better Love Boys by Amy Nicholson

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10 Skills to Know Before Age 10 by Sarah Lyons

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FAMILY RESOURCE GUIDE

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Regulars: 5 n Web Finds / What’s New In The Kid Biz 16 n Pick of the Literature by Dr. Donna Phillips 18 n Dear Teacher by Peggy Gisler & Marge Eberts 40 n Family Travel by Deborah Williams 44 n Raising Digital Kids The Misinformation Age by Mike Daugherty

46 n Journey Into Fatherhood A Date with Violet and A Date for Us by Richard De Fino 47 n Parent Previews by Kirsten Hawkes 49 n Tweens and Teens How to Make Sure Teenagers Hear You by Cheryl Maguire 50 n Special Needs Success Story: Therapy Helps with the Restricted/Repetitive Behaviors of Autism by Debbie Schutt 52 n Single Parenting The Three Things Kids Really Need by Diane Dierks, LMFT, CFLE 54 n The Kid Friendly Kitchen Apple Puffs, Stuffed Apples & Apple Crisp by Kathy Lundquist 55 n The Kiddie Gourmet Lakeshore Cafe by Barbara Blackburn

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Find this entire issue online at www.wnyfamilymagazine.com October 2022 WNY Family 3


Visit www.BeckerFarms.com for more info and to purchase tickets!

Apple Harvest and

FALL FUNon the Farm NOW THROUGH OCTOBER 30TH Including Columbus Day!

Tickets available at BeckerFarms.com and include:

Petting Zoo Parking Apple Picking Goat Races Includes 4 qt bag of Corn & Rope Maze pick your own apples Jumping Pillow Playground And Much More! Access to beautifully landscaped grounds and 340 private acres in the countryside

Haunted Hayride Last two weekends in October ~ Details to come ~

MEGA SOffLBeIDE cker Mt.

Fun for all ages ! EDUCATIONAL PICKING TOURS:

Join Cornell Graduate Melinda Vizcarra for a lesson in agriculture and see where your food comes from. Monday - Friday; Great for School Field Trips

4 WNY Family October 2022


web.finds Are you looking forward to the freedom of trick-or-treating postCOVID? Get in the mood to make this Halloween extra special by trying out one of these not-so-scary door decorations!

TRICK OR TREAT BANNER

Sarah is a graphic designer and she shares her ideas on Sarah Hearts. One of them is this printable Halloween banner made from her downloadable PDFs and Avery brand printable tags. (If you’re inventive with your printer or a Cricut machine, you could create your own variation.) Once printed, simply thread the tags on some baker’s twine or ribbon and you’re set to hang it! Get your downloads at https://www.sarahhearts.com/avery-halloween/

CREEPY CRAWLY SPIDER WEB

“Jane Can” is actual a team of two creative moms. What’s more creepy on Halloween than a spider and its web? The web is made from very thick white yarn and the spider bodies are made from Styrofoam balls cut in half and spray painted black (8” ball for the body and 3” for the head). The legs of the large spider are made from giant chenille stems. If you have a white front door, just switch your yarn color to black. Full details at https://janecanblogdotcom.wordpress.com/2015/09/23/a-creepycrawly-halloween/

“BOO” TO YOU!

The wooden letters that spell out “BOO” on this door are easy to find in craft stores. Paint in a color that contrasts with your door and suspend from wide width ribbons. For a more complex project, learn how to make the stacked pumpkin topiaries for either side of your front door at https://www. cravingsomecreativity.com/halloween-stackedpumpkin-topiary/

GHOSTIE GIRL DOOR HANGER

Ashley Greenwood over at 3 Little Greenwoods is mom of three littles, 2 boys and a girl. She knows how to create decorations that take little effort but make a big impact! This adorable ghost is made from a large sheet of foam core. Draw your ghost shape (hers is about 12 inches wide and 24 inches long) and carefully cut it out. Use black acrylic craft paint to give her a face, washi tape (held down with glue) for the border, with wide, wired ribbon made into a bow. Check out the details at https://www.3littlegreenwoods.com/homedecor-ideas/halloween-door-decor/

What’s New... IN THE KIDBIZ NATIONAL THANK YOU LETTER DAY NOVEMBER 14th Our country has found itself having to pick up the pieces after what seems like a never-ending emotional and physical battle. Between the viral pandemic, civil unrest, and political polarization, it’s easy to overlook those people for whom we are truly grateful; those people who have dedicated their lives to helping others, to saving lives, to educating our youth, to making a difference in this world. That’s why this year, National Thank You Letter Day will stress the urgency of kindness and gratitude, and students around the country are being asked to “Thank it Forward.” National Thank You Letter Day is the brainchild of social activist and literacy advocate Carew Papritz, who created the yearly celebration to teach children — and remind adults — about the personal importance of paying gratitude forward in their daily lives. This year, Papritz is asking not just students, but school districts to take part as well. “We want students to “Thank it Forward” by sending along a thank you letter to someone they are grateful for, but we also ask that school districts “Thank it Forward” as well by highlighting the students’ letters on social media with the hashtag #NTYLD,” says Papritz. “Together, we can make gratitude go viral.” Who should you send a letter to? Write a thank you letter to someone in your family or a close friend that you would like to thank for any reason — large or small. Veteran’s Day is on November 11th, a few days before National Thank You Letter Day. Send a letter to someone in the military thanking them for their service. (Soldiers still love to receive letters!) Write someone in your community that you admire who has personally helped you or others. This is a great way to teach kids about the importance of giving back to their community. For more information https://nationalthankyouletterday.com/ October 2022 WNY Family 5


Easy-to-Make Costumes! DIY BsanatareCtwoin stume

Janice and Su bloggers and work-athome moms. They came up with this bat costume which can be adjusted in from size to work for anyone, the toddler to adult! Most of black. in ng ssi dre t jus is e costum m a knit The bat wings are made fro fray. Meajersey fabric that doesn’t n” and use a sure your child’s “wingspa brown paper to large roll of gift wrap or which to draw get pieces large enough on go e t the wing your pattern. Once you’v your pattern edges drawn just extend ugh room straight up so there’s eno s. You can then sew to fit over your child’s arm create the sleeves of what to or glue the fabric in place arate You’ll find a link to a sep is essentially a bat cape. evd Fin the no-sew bat ears. tutorial for how to make m. mo for ps://www.5minutes erything you need here: htt ume/ com/110074/black-bat-cost

No-Sew Baby Chicken Asia, is a mom of two and former classroom teacher who now stays home full time. She created this costume for her own little one. (Keep in mind you can adapt if for an older child using the same method!) Use a longsleeved onesie or leggings and a long sleeve shirt that you already have on hand (even a stained one, if it’s going to be covered by feathers!). Coordinate your feather colors with the clothing. The feathers are hot glued in layers to the clothing, working from bottom to top. A fitted style baby hat or a “pilot cap” has a chicken’s “comb,” made of felt, glued to the top. Check out the full tutorial here: https://www.funathomewithkids.com/2013/09/ diy-no-sew-baby-chicken-halloween.html 6 WNY Family October 2022

WILMA & FRED FLINTSTONE Who doesn’t know these classic characters? If not, you can always find episodes for your kids to watch on YouTube for inspiration! Both costumes are made from felt and are basically tunics, with the addition of black felt triangles and a blue felt tie for Fred, and an elastic waistband and a large bead necklace for Wilma. Seams and Fred’s black triangles can be sewn or hot glued. You can choose to use some temporary dye to give Wilma her trademark orange hair. Although Wilma and Fred usually went barefoot, you could use sandals (with or without socks depending on Buffalo’s October weather) instead. See a complete tutorial at: https://www.thesitsgirls.com/diy/ fred-wilma-flintstone-costume/

BUBBLE BATH COSTUME You couldn’t create a sim pler costume that will surely get rave reviews for originality! Tights or leggings and a shirt in “skin” color, plus matching balloons in var ious sizes are the basics for the costume. Ad d a shower cap, and some rubber duckies, and you have the perfect bubble bath costume! Th e balloons are attached to the clothing by sewing a few hand stitches through the knots of each balloon. This web page act ually has 51 different costume ide as to choose from, so be sure to scroll down to find this one — and probably several more yo u will like! https://www.todaysparen t.com/ kids/no-sew-halloween-cos tumes


Spooktacular Treats! Peanut Butter Spider Cookies

Witch Hat Cupcakes

The trick to this adorably scary cookie is the spider f on top. It’s made from hal th a wi ere a chocolate candy sph h as a Lindt Lindor suc , smooth chocolate filling . it easier to cut into halves Truffle, chilled to make ’s der spi on to make the Chocolate frosting piped the half-spheres and ue” legs is also used to “gl . ls to complete the spider decorative candy eyebal / com es. ps://www.allrecip Find the full recipe at: htt / ies er-spider-cook recipe/240007/peanut-butt

Frankenstein Rice Krispie Treats

Ellen and Aimee, over at Like Mother, Like Daughter, like using the storebought snack sized Rice Krispie Treats for uniformity of shape and size to make these monstrous treats, but you can always make your own batch. Then dip them in green candy melts and decorate with brown or black candy melts (or chocolate) for the hair and mouth; adding candy eyes and inserting a piece of pretzel stick on either side for his “bolts.” There are plenty of pics at: https://lmld. org/frankenstein-rice-krispie-treats/

Use a boxed mix or your favorite from-scratch recipe for chocolate cupcakes. Dye ready-made frosting with green food coloring, or this website will provide a link to a cream cheese frosting recipe for a “from scratch” version. The base of the witch’s hat is made from one half of an Oreo cookie, topped with some orange frosting and a Hershey’s Chocolate Kiss. Top with a few orangish sprinkles and you have a bewitching treat with little effort! Check it out at: https:// tastesbetterfromscratch.com/ witch-hat-cupcakes/

Dracula Dentures

Store-bought chocolate chip cookie dough, vanilla frosting, red food colori ng, mini-marshmallows and a few slivered almon ds (for Dracula’s fangs!) are all you need to make these frightful treats. Ba ke the cookies and cut them in halves. Spread red frosting on the halves tha t will become the “uppers” and “lowers” of the dentures. Place a ring of mini-marshmallows on eac h of the lowers to form the teeth. Top with an “up per.” Add the fangs. As an alt ernative, you can use any type of firm cookie and substitute pre tzel sticks for fangs if nuts are n’t an option. https://www.delish .com/ cooking/recipe-ideas/a55 668/ dracula-dentures-recipe/

October 2022 WNY Family 7


COMING UP IN DECEMBER 2022

– by Tanni Haas, Ph.D.

Exploring Educa tion A Special Pull-Out Section

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Inspiring Boys to Become Lifelong Readers

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he start of a new school year is a great time for parents to ask themselves a vexing question: how do we inspire our sons to enjoy reading as much as our daughters? Experts suggest that parents do the following to make boys into lifelong readers.

Make Reading Material Widely Available One way to inspire boys to read, says Dr. Patricia Furstenberg, a medical doctor and children’s book author, is simply to “leave reading material around the house.” Melissa Fenton, a children’s librarian, agrees. She recommends that parents “keep books all over the house, in all the places your boys will be; by their bedside, on the breakfast table to encourage reading over cereal, on coffee tables, end tables, and even in the bathroom.” She even suggests that parents create a book display corner and highlight seasonal and holiday titles, like bookstores do to entice customers. The message should be clear: reading is fun, and there’s a lot of it to be enjoyed.

Help Them Find Interesting Things To Read Help your sons find reading materials that interests them. Drs. Paula Schwanenflugel and Nancy Knapp, the authors of The Psychology of Reading, say that parents should “let boys choose, and help them find, the kind of books and other materials they want to read.” While you don’t want to unnecessarily limit your sons’ reading interests, studies show that boys prefer to read about topics that relate to their lives, interests, and imagination. Dr. Jeff Wilhelm, a professor of English Education, sums it up well: “Boys like to read what’s toolish, not schoolish,” meaning that “boys prefer reading things that have something they can immediately use, talk about, argue about, or do something with.”

Take Them to The Library Take them to the library and let them explore available books and collections. As Dr. Furstenberg says, “let your son wander around the library, pick a book and sit down to page through it.” Ms. Fenton agrees, suggesting that par-


ents should make visits to the library “a family habit, and as common as a regular visit to the grocery store.” Young boys can browse shelves with picture books on their own, while older boys can read book summaries and use the electronic catalogue to search for books that they find interesting. In a nutshell, going to the library shouldn’t be something for rare or special occasions, but rather a regular activity that your entire family looks forward to doing together.

Let Your Sons See You Read It’s important that your sons see you read. Dr. Margaret Merga, a literacy researcher, says that parents serve as role models for their sons, saying, “Let them see you read for pleasure.” Dr. Furstenberg agrees that “children often mimic what they see, not what they hear and we, as parents, are our children’s mirrors.” Instead of reading just when you’re alone having a quiet time, let your sons see you absorbed in reading a book or magazine. It’ll inspire them to read, too.

Expand Your Idea of What Counts as Reading Finally, but not least importantly, don’t think that only “serious” literature counts as reading. Ms. Fenton says that “just because your son isn’t devouring thick fiction chapter books at all times doesn’t mean he isn’t reading quality material. For boys, consider many different forms of written word as reading; comic books, manga, joke books, magazines, and even blogs.” Jon Scieszka, a children’s book author, agrees. “Let boys know that nonfiction reading is reading. Magazines, newspapers, websites, biographies, science books, comic books, graphic novels are all reading material,” notes Scieszka. Accept newer, alternative forms of reading, like audiobooks. “If your son insists on having earbuds in his ears all the time,” says Ms. Fenton, “have him try an audiobook.” Tanni Haas, Ph.D. is a Professor in the Department of Communication Arts, Sciences, and Disorders at the City University of New York – Brooklyn College. October 2022 WNY Family 9


Great Reading Apps for Boys – by Tanni Haas, Ph.D.

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ompared to girls, boys are notoriously slow at taking to reading and staying with it over time. It doesn’t have to be that way! If you want to inspire your sons to become lifelong readers, download the apps from this list of some of the best reading apps available. While I compiled the list with an eye to what would appeal to boys, these apps can also be useful to girls. The best part is that they’re all free, so download an app – or three.

ABC Alphabet Phonics (Apple Appstore, Google Play; Ages 3-5)

This app teaches young kids letter recognition through fun play. Three letters are shown on the screen, and one of the letters is sounded out by a narrator. The kid then has to tap the correct letter which is circled in red and, when they get it right, they’re congratulated in a warm voice. You can customize the screen to correspond with your kid’s developmental stage, including a hint displayed, choosing all lower or upper case letters, or having the letters illustrated with images. Best of all, this app doesn’t require sophisticated hand-eye coordination — the letters are spaced out so kids don’t tap the wrong letters by mistake.

ABC Magic Phonics (Apple Appstore; Ages 3-5)

Developed by a team of educators using Montessori principles, this fun app also teaches kids letter recognition. It’s well-suited for kids with developmental delays. The letters aren’t just displayed and sounded out; they’re repeated multiple times and used in words that are rhymed. The simplicity of the graphics is great for kids with ADD — they’re unlikely to be distracted by the graphics, but will instead focus on the skill being taught.

Hoopla Digital

(Apple Appstore, Google Play; Ages 3+) It’s one thing to help our kids learn how to read; it’s another to get them access to exciting reading materials. Hoopla Digital is an easy-to-use app which allows you to borrow, free of charge, several hundred thousand eBooks for readers of all ages. This app includes many comics, which boys are likely to enjoy. They can read the comics either panel-by-panel or a whole page at a time, depending on their preferences and reading abilities. All you need to access this app is a library card to your local public library.

Tanni Haas, Ph.D. is a Professor in the Department of Communication Arts, Sciences, and Disorders at the City University of New York – Brooklyn College. 10 WNY Family October 2022

Khan Academy Kids (Apple App Store, Google Play; Ages 3-5) This awardwinning app is a comprehensive learning resource for young kids, including a huge database of reading activities. Kids can record themselves reading, either on their own or accompanied by recorded audio narration, play back the recordings, and learn from their mistakes. You can chart their progress, see if they’ve mastered certain learning goals, and have them receive extra instruction in areas where they need some additional help.

Newsela Student

(Apple App Store, Google Play; Ages 3+) This app complements Hoopla Digital by having a large library of news articles (all searchable by keyword), as well as quizzes that let kids track their learning. Most of the categories are of interest to boys, including “Money,” “Science,” and “Sports.” Each article is available at 5 reading levels, which means that as your kids become more proficient readers, they can read the same article at consecutively higher levels, learning more about their favorite topics. More than 10 million kids are already using this app.


Reading Racer

(Apple App Store; Ages 6-8) This app can teach kids how to read out loud. Kids choose racer avatars, and then select reading material from more than 200 stories, jokes, and rhymes. The jokes, in particular, are meant to appeal to boys. Kids read selected pieces and get feedback from a narrator while reading. The app has two modes: “practice” and “race.” In practice mode, they read out loud without any assessment. In race mode, they’re expected to read as quickly and accurately as they can and receive feedback on their performance.

Starfall: Learn To Read (Apple App Store, Google Play; Ages 3-5)

Starfall: Learn To Read will help kids learn different vowel sounds. They choose from short stories with plots that center around particular vowel sounds. They read a story, get feedback on their pronunciation, and then hear it read out loud correctly by a narrator. When they complete a story, they can play related activities like fill-in-the-blanks or watch entertaining videos about the concepts taught in that story.

Starfall: I’m Reading (Apple App Store, Google Play; Ages 6-8)

Starfall: I’m Reading continues what kids learn in Starfall: Learn To Read, but at a higher level. The app includes more sophisticated stories and vocabulary, including comics, folk tales, and Greek myths, that appeal to boys. A great feature of this app is the AutoRead, which models fluent reading. October 2022 WNY Family 11


Realizing our son was possibly going to be labelled a troublemaker, when he was merely being inventive, and thinking perhaps he would be better served by being educated at home, my husband and I made the decision to homeschool our children (Yes, children. We went on to have another son and a daughter).

– by Amy Nicholson

Learning to Better Love Boys

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rowing up it was just me and my sister. I had limited exposure to boys and their idiosyncrasies. It seems odd when I think about it now. Here was a half of the population of the planet I knew so little about. I knew boys acted differently than girls, but not having grown up with brothers, most of what I learned about boys’ behavior I learned from the boys at school. Most of it was negative. From my perspective, boys were more active, more sneaky, louder, and tended to get into more trouble than girls. I had yet to understand the nuances of boy culture. Why did they act so different from me? Was it something in their biology or how they were raised? Dating my boyfriend in high school, I learned some good things about boys. Among other positive qualities, I learned boys could be strong, brave, and protective. How refreshing to gain a broader perspective! After my strong, brave, protective boyfriend and I graduated from college and married, we had a boy. When our son started school, he was active and awesome like most boys, and, like many, he was a little too wiggly for the classroom. 12 WNY Family October 2022

A month into fourth grade, we had already gotten a couple calls from the guidance counselor that he was building things in his desk. If he were in a college engineering class, this innovation probably would have helped him earn an A, but in fourth grade, it was frowned upon. The classroom, it seemed, was no place to tinker. I knew he wasn’t hurting anyone by building things, but I also knew he wasn’t complying with classroom expectations. He was resistant to being crammed into the mold of traditional school. How could he be who he was and still fulfill society’s requirements of him? After having earned a degree in Early Childhood Education and a teaching certificate, I still found my knowledge of the differences in the ways boys and girls learned lacking. How could I be expected to teach or raise boys when I knew so little about them? Now that I had my own son and he was struggling, I wanted, needed, to learn more. I needed to expand my knowledge of boy culture, understand the biological differences in boys’ brains and, in so doing, learn how to better love my son.

I read a book that confirmed things I was beginning to observe and which shed new light on males and what motivates them. These were things I hadn’t learned in my college Education classes, but they would be vital in my growing understanding of how to interact with boys. This invaluable book was Michael Gurian’s The Wonder of Boys. It not only filled in some of the gaps in my understanding of boys, it also helped dispel some of the common myths our society still holds about boys. Among them: ●

Girls have life worse than boys. They both have their particular challenges.

Boys are not born boys; we make them that way. In actuality, among other things, boys’ brains are distinct from girls’ brains.

Only the parents should be responsible for the upbringing of their children. Both boys and girls thrive from inclusion in at least three spheres of influence.

Boys are inherently flawed. Boys are unique and different than girls. That doesn’t mean they are broken and in need of fixing.

Gurian presents a vision of how we can better understand and nurture boys based on research and encounters with not only American families but also various cultures around the world. Writes Gurian, “. . .our best choices in nurturing him revolve around knowing who and what he is, then channeling his energy in ways appropriate to him — not to what or who we believe politically he ought to be”


This book taught me many things. Of course, these are generalizations, and there are exceptions to every rule, but these are some things I learned: 1) Male brains are structurally different from female brains. The male brain is at least ten percent larger than the female brain, but the corpus callosum (the nerves that connect the right and left hemispheres of the brain) is larger in the female. This allows for more communication between the two hemispheres in the female brain, leading to greater proficiency in language. Because the corpus callosum is smaller in the male brain, however, the male brain makes more connections within the right hemisphere itself leading to greater proficiency in spatial relations. 2) Males thrive on competition. Not only do boys feel worthy when they prove themselves in sports and talent competitions, they also compete verbally when they put each other down. If society doesn’t provide a safe place for boys to compete, they may compete against society itself. This can have negative consequences. 3) Boys benefit from participation in large groups. Where girls tend to develop more one-on-one relationships, boys gravitate to groups of people. This coincides with the next characteristic.

may include media, church groups, government, etc. The book covers other topics as well. One vital relationship Gurian discusses is the one between mothers and sons. He talks about what boys need from their mothers at different stages in their lives and the need boys have to pull away from their mothers as they grow older and to gain independence after (hopefully) having been nurtured in that relationship since birth. Gurian discusses the father/son relationship, as well, and the need boys have for strong role models who will teach them how to be strong, responsible men. Gurian talks about disciplining boys based on their unique developmental needs and behaviors, understanding themselves, and how to build healthy relationships, and how to effectively instill values and morals in boys. Reading The Wonder of Boys has helped me as a mother of boys, as a wife, and as a school teacher. I have come to have a deeper understanding of and appreciation for boys and their unique physiology, psychology, motivations, and behaviors. I’ve caught myself more than once wondering why can’t those boys climbing over each other

vying for LEGO pieces just calm down and be more like girls? Why can’t they sit still for an hour in class like I used to do? What’s so difficult about that? Yes, there are adjustments that everyone needs to make in certain settings — boys and girls. But, having read some of the science behind the behaviors, I have stopped looking at these tendencies towards wiggliness as flaws. Boys are awesome. As a group, they are energetic and driven. Sometimes their energy seems too great to be contained in a traditional classroom setting, and that’s okay because boys have a lot to teach us about how to better love their half of our population. Will we listen? Will we pay attention to their need for space and large groups and tribes? Will we learn how to better love them and stop trying to fix them? Amy Nicholson lives with her husband and three children (ages 23, 19, and 16) in northwest Connecticut where she writes and substitute teaches. Her writing has been published in The Old Schoolhouse, Country Woman. and The Plymouth Connection, among other places and on her website at www. amynicholson14.wordpress.com.

4) Boys need a lot of space to move around. As a group, boys tend to engage in a lot of physical activity. This is why boys benefit from being outdoors and in other open spaces. 5) It takes boys longer than girls to process their feelings. Again, this isn’t a flaw, but a special characteristic of boys. As adults, we need to acknowledge this fact and respect a boy’s need to take time to process. 6) Boys benefit from growing up in a “tribe.” Boys that are raised by three “families” tend to more fully mature into responsible, well-rounded adults. These three families are: birth or adoptive parents, extended families (including teachers, mentors, etc.), and culture and community. This last group October 2022 WNY Family 13


– by Sarah Lyons

for things that they want. This skill will be necessary as they plan for larger purchases in adulthood.

Problem Solving Skills When presented with a problem, children often look to the adults in their lives to solve the problem. Rather than giving your child the answer to the problem, why not let them try to work it out themselves?

10 Skills to Know Before Age 10

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y the time your child turns ten, you may have started teaching them responsibilities, assigned weekly chores, and started discussing whether they are old enough to stay home alone for a few minutes at a time. In the middle of their tween years, ten-year-olds are ready to begin taking on more responsibilities. Krystal Laws, mother of seven, says “Parents can think about where they would like their kids to be at age 18 then go back every few years making goals to work up to independence as an adult. Having a vision for where you’re headed really helps in knowing what to work on at various ages.” What are some basic skills kids can learn before ten? Here are some ideas:

Basic Household Tasks Teach your child some basic household tasks. If you are busy, out of the house, or under the weather, your child should be able to make himself a sandwich, pack a sack lunch for school, and be able to prepare a small meal in the microwave. It is also good to teach your kids how to do laundry, run the dishwasher, and how to clean up a spill. “Kids are more capable than you think they are,” says Allison Edwards, author of Why Smart Kids Worry (And What Parents Can Do to Help). “When kids make an effort, they can tackle almost anything.”

Safety Keeping our kids safe is a huge priority for parents. At a young age, we 14 WNY Family October 2022

begin to teach our kids how to safely cross the street, bike and road safety, and to be aware of strangers. By ten, parents should take it one step further by teaching kids about Internet safety and what to do in case of an emergency. “I want them to be safe mentally and physically,” says Lisa Parrish, mother of three. “They should know how to use the phone, procedures for being home alone or in emergencies, safe touch, and that no means NO.” Kids approaching ten should also know basic first aid and when to call 911.

Proper Hygiene & Self Grooming Ten-year-olds should understand the importance of good hygiene and how to care for their own body and hair. Frequent showers, proper face and hand washing, and wearing deodorant are good habits to get into as the changing hormones of the teen years approach. “Tell your tween how different bacteria can harm their bodies. Encourage them to feel comfortable asking questions or raising concerns about their changing bodies,” advises Scholalstic.com.

Budgeting & Saving Ten years old is a great time to introduce basic budgeting skills. Kids can learn to pick something out that they would like to purchase, research the cost, and begin saving for it. This helps teach them delayed gratification, the value of the dollar, the reward for hard work, and also how to budget and save

The problem solving skills learned early will benefit them as they grow older. You can also present your child with different scenarios and ask them what they would do. Ask your child — If you get lost, what should you do? What if you forget your lunch at home? What if you see another child getting teased? If there is a fire in the house, what should you do? Working through different scenarios and practicing problem solving skills will help your child build confidence for when they are faced with a problem.

Value of hard work Kids need to know the value of hard work, especially as they head off to college or into the workplace. Even middle and high school require a higher level of study habits. Developing good study habits also helps kids learn that their dedication pays off when they receive good grades because of it. To prepare your child for the workforce, assign chores that work towards a family goal, like putting in a garden for everyone to enjoy, or saving up allowance to work towards something they would like to purchase will show them the long-term payoff of hard work.

Proper Etiquette & Speaking Skills Ten-year-olds should know how to treat other people respectfully, approach adults in public, have proper phone etiquette, know how to shake hands, and express gratitude when someone gives them a gift or does something for them. With so much electronic communication, we must teach our children that when having face to face conversations, it is polite to use proper language rather than text speak. “Kids this age should know the Golden Rule and treat others


the way they’d like to be treated,” says Laura Fenner, mother of four. Ten-yearolds can build confidence in this area by practicing public speaking and participating in sports or recitals.

Caring for Others Kids learn a lot when given the responsibility of taking care of something or someone else. Examples could be a pet, garden or plants, or helping with younger children. This helps teach them responsibility and selflessness.

Outdoor Skills Kids this age can be taught outdoor safety. Fire safety, how to use a map and compass, what poison ivy looks like, and water safety are all good examples. Teaching them these skills encourages them to find outdoor activities that they enjoy. Again, as we face competition with the screen, teaching kids how to be safe when pursuing outdoor activities may open a love of the outdoors that they have not yet experienced.

Healthy Habits The importance of a healthy diet and routine exercise is never too early to learn. While they may not be preparing entire meals at age ten, they do need to know that potato chips are not a well-balanced lunch. Kids should also be able to listen to their bodies so they can tell you if they are unwell and what is wrong. Healthy sleep habits and a good diet can help them perform better in school and improve their moods. Kids should also be able to manage their emotions and calm themselves when needed. These skills are a guideline as every child and every family is unique. You may find that in your family you value certain skills over others, or that some of these were learned some time ago. “Be flexible with your plan to teach life skills” says Laws, “Everyone learns at a different pace.” Sarah Lyons is a freelance writer whose work has been published in Pregnancy and Newborn Magazine, KC Parent, Austin Family, Creative Child and over 150 other parenting publications. October 2022 WNY Family 15


F

all is the time of celebration and Halloween kicks off the season. It is a time for imagination and creativity. Whether it is what to wear to the Halloween party or what to do with the bounty of the season, it is a busy time for all. It is a feast for the senses. Rich colors, the scents of the fields and aromas from the kitchen, tastes from the fruits of those labors, the sounds of leaves falling and crunching under foot, and the feel of crisp fresh air on the skin, all serve to remind us of the changes to come. October is the month that celebrates Halloween. It is a time for young and old to become someone or something else and revel in the sweets and treats of parties and trick-or-treating. As always, books are the best way to set the mood for the fun to come. Here are some to get your party started and keep it going! What child (or adult) doesn’t enjoy a lift the flap book? Monsters Play Peekaboo (Candlewick Press, Somerville, 2022, $8.99) by Flavia Z. Drago

16 WNY Family October 2022

PICK OF THE LITERATURE — by Dr. Donna Phillips is just the book to satisfy this craving. Who is waiting underneath the sheet? The sound of the creature gives us a hint. Onomatopoeia is a great device to help young children become sound and word aware. Not only is this a perfect way to capture their attention, it is also an essential basic skill in learning to read. What kind of creature might say “arr-woo”? What kind of creature might sound like “clackety-clack”? What kind of creature might say “hiss-hiss’? The simple rhyme and the surprise behind each flap will delight our youngest trickor-treaters and maybe give them ideas about what kind of creature they want to be this year. Who ever would imagine that construction vehicles celebrate Halloween? It seems that Sherri Dusky Rinker and A.D. Ford did when they created Construction Site Gets a Fright! (Chronicle

Books, San Francisco, 2022, $12.99). When everything gets dark at the construction site, things begin to look a bit scary and the curious construction vehicles go off to investigate. All dressed up for their own Halloween party, they encounter some strange things along the way. What is that huge, scary, witch-like shape? Is that really a giant witch? What about the shape that looks like a huge creepy cat? The job site is filled with strange things on Halloween, but to find out what they really are, you will need to go on the adventure with these brave trucks. But never fear. The bouncing rhymes and the clever twists will guide you all the way. Leila was a little witch who naturally was perfect at everything she did! Well, everything but baking… and that was what she wanted the most. What was most frustrating for her was that everyone in her family was a fantastic baker but her. Leila’s big chance to prove herself was to win the Magnificent Witchy Cake-Off contest. So, she read,


and researched, and practiced her baking, but everything turned out terrible. That was until her family members began to show her their tricks and techniques. Before long, she was baking to perfection. She was sure she was ready for the Cake-Off! She mixed and added and combined the best ingredients using the best techniques. She was in her zone of perfection! Then came the judging. How does it end? Not like you’d expect. The great reveal will be worth the reading! Leila the Perfect Witch (Candlewick Press, Somerville, 2022, $17.99) by Flavia Z. Drago also has a Spanish version! You might even share this at your own Halloween Party. For children who are ready for chapter books, Crimson Twill: Witch in the City (Candlewick Press, Somerville, 2022, $14.99), written by Kallie George and illustrated by Birgitta Sif, is a delightful adventure book for the holiday. Crimson sets off to Broomngdale’s in New Wart City with her hard-earned gold coins in her pocket to find the perfect item to celebrate the season. Should she get something to wear, something to use around the house, a new trinket? She would know when she saw it. Each floor in the store had its own specialties. There was a Cat Floor, a Broom Floor, and a Hat Floor, and even a floor with a Fashion Show. So many items! So many options! In the end, she left empty handed but with a full heart. This is a sweet story of discovery of self and new friends. No scares here. The fun of the season awaits starting with Halloween and with more celebrations to come! Books are the perfect way to usher in any of them. Your local bookstore and library already have displays to invite you into a reading adventure. A trip to either, or a visit to an online resource, is always an fun way to kick off the season. You can be sure you will find the treat you are looking for, with perhaps a trick thrown in just to make it more exciting! Dr. Donna Phillips is an associate professor in the College of Education at Niagara University where her specialty is literacy and children’s literature. She lives on Grand Island, NY and is the mother of two adult children and the grandmother of one.

October 2022 WNY Family 17


DEAR TEACHER – by Peggy Gisler and Marge Eberts

Helping all parents make their children’s educational experience as successful as possible

Be Sure to Talk to Your Children about Inhalants

Q

uestion: My son tells me that some of his friends are inhaling common household items and see no danger in doing so. I think that some of the kids are overdoing it. What should I tell my child about the dangers of inhalants? What are some of the signs of inhalant abuse? Where can help be found for inhalant abusers? — Need Information Answer: One of the first things that your child needs to know about inhalants is that they are highly addictive. You also need to make him aware of how harmful they can be to the body. The National Inhalant Prevention Coalition (NIPC) explains that nearly all abused products produce effects similar to anesthetics, which slow down the body’s function. Varying upon level of dosage, the user can experience slight stimulation, feelings of less inhibition, or loss of consciousness. The user can also suffer from Sudden Sniffing Death Syndrome. This means the user can die the 1st, 10th or 100th time he or she uses an inhalant. Other effects include damage to the heart, kidney, brain, liver, bone marrow, and other organs. You may or may not be able to tell if a friend of your child is abusing inhalants. Your son, however, would have a good idea about this. There is a common link between inhalant use and problems in school — failing grades, chronic absences, and general apathy. The NIPC lists these other signs: •

paint or stains on body or clothing

spots or sores around the mouth

red or runny eyes or nose

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chemical breath odor

drunk, dazed, or dizzy appearance

nausea, loss of appetite

anxiety, excitability, irritability

According to the NIPC, treatment facilities for inhalant users are rare and difficult to find. Users suffer a high rate of relapse and require 30 to 40 days or more of detoxification. Users suffer withdrawal symptoms which can include hallucinations, nausea, excessive sweating, hand tremors, muscle cramps, headaches, chills, and delirium tremens. Follow up treatment is very important. If anyone in your family or someone you know is seeking help for inhalant abuse or information, you should visit inhalants.org. Parents need to be aware that inhalants are all over the place in their homes. Here is a partial list of some household items that are being abused: model airplane glue, rubber cement, household cement, spray paint, hair spray, air freshener, nail polish remover, vegetable cooking spray, and spray whipped cream.

Social Skills Programs Can Improve Behavioral Problems Question: It was a big surprise to me to hear from my son’s third grade teacher that he does not always behave well at school. Apparently, he says mean things to other kids and even has provoked fights at recess. The teacher now has him in a social skills class at school which she believes should help him eliminate these behaviors. What can we do at home to help him stop them? — Seeking Change Answer: Good social skills are critical to successful functioning in school

as well as life. Children often act out in school when something is not working for them. Or they may have strong feelings that they cannot seem to express in other ways. The social skills class could go a long way to improving his behavior. In the past, it was the parents’ job to teach these skills. Now schools are offering formal social skills programs to help all children acquire these skills or just to those who demonstrate poor social skills. It is questionable how much you can do at home to stop his misbehaving at school. Visiting the classroom to check on his behavior will probably not be helpful as he more than likely will be on his best behavior. Talk with his teacher to find out specifically how and when your son misbehaves. Ask if the teacher has any idea about why he is misbehaving in the classroom. Is he being bullied or teased or having a hard time keeping up in one or more classes? Any of these things may be causing your son’s poor behavior. Once known, any causes of his misbehavior should be addressed. On the home front, one of the first things that you should do in this situation is to talk to your son about why he is saying mean things to other children and fighting. Try to get to the root cause of his behavior. If it is the way other children are treating him, work with the teacher to stop this from happening. And help your son find better ways to handle such things as bullying and teasing. Also, ask yourself if the reason for his misbehaving at school has anything to do with events happening at home. Is he dealing with a life-changing event like death or divorce? Punishing your child for his misbehavior is not likely to be nearly as effective as finding out why he misbehaves and trying to help him find ways to behave better. In any case, you should stay close to your child — expressing affection, especially in the morning before school as a closer connection to you, can help him feel stronger and avoid situations that are causing his misbehavior. Parents should send questions and comments to dearteacher@dearteacher.com, and visit the dearteacher.com website to learn more about helping their children succeed in school.


In Print and Online at wnyfamilymagazine.com

OCTOBER 2022 PULL-OUT & SAVE

A Time-Saving Tool for Busy Families Get “up close and personal” with WNY businesses & organizations that cater to the needs of growing families!


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Addiction Treatment & Mental Health Services:

BESTSELF BEHAVIORAL HEALTH Locations throughout WNY 716-884-0888 www.bestselfwny.org Provider of mental health & substance use disorder services for children and their families. Telehealth & In-person appointments available.

BRYLIN BEHAVIORAL HEALTH SYSTEM

1263 Delaware Ave., Buffalo, NY 14209 716-886-8200 www.brylin.com Quality, compassionate mental health care for all ages. With HELP, There’s HOPE.

ENDEAVOR HEALTH SERVICES 1526 Walden Ave., Suite 400 Cheektowaga, NY 14225 716-895-6701 www.ehsny.org Endeavor Health Services provides outpatient mental health and substance use treatment services.

Pull out and save this section for future reference. And, remember, you can also find it online at www.wnyfamilymagazine.com

FOUR SEASONS CHILDCARE CENTER & PRESCHOOL AGES 6 WEEKS TO 12 YEARS

• Programs for Infants, Toddlers, 2 & 3 Year Olds • 4 Year Old Pre-K Program • Award winning Gymnastics & Dance Programs available onsite

HIRING TEACHERS AND AIDES

Call 568-1140

1639 N. French Rd. • Getzville, NY 14068

www.fourseasonsfamily.com

Clarence Chiropractic Dr. David Lewis ~ Dr. Emily Patrick

General Family Practice

Also specializing in: • Webster Technique for Pregnancy • Children • Athletic Injuries • Auto/Work Injuries • Graston Technique • Flexion/Distraction Technique Call for an Appointment 4440 Shimerville Rd., Clarence, NY 14031

716-633-2036

www.MainChiropractor.com

HORIZON CORPORATIONS

55 Dodge Rd., Getzville, NY 14068 716-831-1800 horizon-health.org Horizon Health Services provides hope and healing for individuals and their families dealing with substance use and/or mental health disorders.

SPECTRUM HEALTH & HUMAN SERVICES

227 Thorn Ave., Orchard Park, NY 14127 716-539-5500 www.shswny.org Helping families throughout WNY with mental health & addiction needs.

Breastfeeding:

BABY’S SWEET BEGINNINGS

231 Aurora St., Lancaster, NY 14086 716-681-8100 www.babyssweetbeginnings.com WNY’s Leading Breastfeeding & Maternity Boutique, breastpump sales and rentals. IBCLC owned/ operated.

THE CARE CONNECTION

1360 N. Forest Rd, Suite 111, Williamsville, NY 14221 716-725-6370 www.careconnectiononline.com New Boutique! Insurance covered items, breast pumps & supplies, lactation support, classes, mom & baby items, nursing bras & tanks.

Butcher Shop:

FEDERAL MEATS

With 9 WNY Locations to Serve You 716-633-1390 E-mail: info@federalmeats.com www.federalmeats.com WNY’s trusted source for the freshest products available. Knowledgeable service since 1930. Instagram: @federal_meats

Childcare:

(Also See PRESCHOOLS/MONTESSORI)

FOUR SEASONS CHILD CARE & PRESCHOOL

1639 North French Rd., Getzville, NY 14068 885 Sweet Home Rd., Amherst, NY 14226 716-568-1140 www.fourseasonsfamily.com Programs for infants, toddlers, 2 & 3 year olds, 4 year old Pre-K and Summer Camp.

JCC EARLY CHILDHOOD CENTER

2640 North Forest Rd., Getzville, NY 14068 716-688-4033 787 Delaware Ave., Buffalo, NY 14209 716-886-3145 www.jccbuffalo.org Infants to pre-K, full & part-time options available Mon.-Fri., 7:30am-6:00pm. Values-based & developmentally appropriate curriculum including learning to swim. FIND US ON FACEBOOK

Childcare Resources:

COMMUNITY CHILD CARE CLEARINGHOUSE OF NIAGARA

1521 Main St., Niagara Falls, NY 14305 716-285-8572 or 1-800-701-4KID Email: CCRRNiagara@niagaracap.org www.childcareofniagara.com The Niagara County Child Care Resource and Referral Program. “An Informational Source.”


Consignment Shops & Sales:

4440 Shimerville Rd., Clarence, NY 14031 716-633-2036 www.MainChiropractor.com General Family Practice. Also specializing in Pregnancy, Children, and Athletic Injuries.

1060 Niagara Falls Blvd., Tonawanda, NY 14150 • 716-831-8300 www.kidtokid.com/tonawanda 980 Union Rd., #42A, Southgate Plaza, West Seneca, NY 14224 • 716-675-0483 www.kidtokid.com/westseneca Best kids’ resale. Clothing, baby gear, toys, furniture, maternity. Open 7 days.

CLARENCE CHIROPRACTIC

MUNROE CHIROPRACTIC, P.C. 6035 Main St., Williamsville, NY 14221 716-632-4476 www.munroechiropractic.com Dedicated to you 7 days a week with Experience, Quality, and Compassion.

KID TO KID

Counseling/ Mental Health Services:

LYNNE RIFKIN SHINE, LMHC, CRC

4800 N. French Rd., East Amherst, NY 14051 716-725-7158 www.auduboncounseling.com Specializing in couples counseling, parenting, grief & loss, anxiety & depression, infidelity, infertility.

You are NOT alone

Telehea lt or in pe h rso counseli n ng available .

Specializing in ... • Marriage & Relationships • Infidelity • Infertility • Parenting & Coparenting • Grief & Loss • Anxiety & Depression * Groups Forming in 2022

Chiropractic (Children’s):

NEW LOCATION!

RIVERVIEW CHIROPRACTIC HEALTH

1567 Military Rd., Kenmore, NY 14217 716-877-0676 www.riverviewchirohealth.com Helping generations of families pursue optimal health… naturally.

4800 N. French Rd. • East Amherst, NY 14051

716-725-7158 | 716-689-3110 Ext. 1 www.auduboncounseling.com

Chautauqua County Visitors Bureau

spotlight on

Experience amazing outdoor recreation and unique cultural attractions in Chautauqua County, NY.

Fall Getaways in the ChautauquaLake Erie Region The Chautauqua-Lake Erie region in Western New York comes alive with color and beloved seasonal activities every autumn. Explore the changing leaves along the trails at the Audubon Community Nature Center. Hike among the colorful trees in an ancient forest and climb gigantic rock formations at Panama Rocks. Get a spectacular panoramic view of the foliage at Luensman Overview Park and Erlandson Overview Park. Take in the great view of Lake Erie atop the tower of the Dunkirk Lighthouse.

Get a closer look of the vibrant fall foliage while climbing among the treetops on Peek’n Peak Resort’s Mountain Adventures. Cruise around the Chadakoin River and Chautauqua Lake aboard the Chautauqua Belle, a riverboat-style steamship, when you take a fall foliage cruise. Surround yourself with fall foliage on a horseback ride by Double D.A.B. Riding Stables on trails along the Lake Erie escarpment. Relax with a glass of local wine from Lake Erie Wine Country on one of the Fall Foliage Walks hosted by Johnson Estate Winery.

Fall and Harvest Festivals are held throughout Chautauqua County in September and October. Enjoy live music, craft vendors and favorite fall treats. Visit local farms for pumpkin and apple picking for a day of family fun. No matter where you are or what you do in the Chautauqua-Lake Erie Region, you’re sure to fall in love with autumn in Chautauqua County. Check out www.tourchautauqua. com for all your trip planning needs and start planning your fall getaway today!

Chautauqua Main Gate, Route 394, Chautauqua, NY 14722 Phone: 866-908-4569 Website: www.tourchautauqua.com Paid Advertisement

 Family Resource Guide  Family Resource Guide  Family Resource Guide  Family Resource Guide 

Chiropractic:

21


EUGENIA’S DANCE STUDIO

491 W. Klein Rd., (Dash’s Plaza) Williamsville, NY 14221 716-688-4774 www.aab-buffalo.com Offering Ballet (6yrs.-adult), Fairytale Dance, Pre-Ballet (3, 4 & 5 yr. olds), Contemporary, Hip Hop, Jazz, Tap, Acro & Lyrical.

SPEZIO’S DANCE DYNAMICS

AMERICAN ACADEMY OF BALLET & DANCE

CENTER STAGE DANCE STUDIO 4837 Union Rd., Cheektowaga, NY 14225 716-634-3395 www.CSDS.dance Encouragement and positive reinforcement through dance to reach one’s personal best. FIND US ON FACEBOOK

ELITE DANCE COMPANY

5360 Genesee St., Bowmansville, NY 14026 716-288-7868 www.EliteDanceWNY.com Where every dancer counts so that each dancer can reach their fullest potential.

730 Orchard Park Rd. West Seneca, NY 14224 716-675-3128 www.eugeniasdancestudio.com Outstanding classes from Mommy & Me to Award-Winning Advanced Classes. FIND US ON FACEBOOK

1639 N. French Rd., • Suite 300 Getzville, NY 14068 716-688-9590 www.speziosdancedynamics.com Offering quality classical dance instruction for all ages and levels since 1993. See Our Advertiser Spotlight.

ZPAC PERFORMING ARTS CENTER, LLC

Southgate Plaza - 954A Union Rd., Ste 3 West Seneca, NY 14224 716-608-1010 www.zpac.biz A unique performing arts center with every style of dancing, singing, acting and creating the arts with playwriting, choregraphy and directing. Ages 1 to adult. FIND US ON FACEBOOK

Spezio’S Dance DynamicS Instilling Passion & Building Character One Step At A Time!

Spotlight on

 Family Resource Guide  Family Resource Guide  Family Resource Guide  Family Resource Guide  22

Dance Instruction:

Spezio’s Dance Dynamics, Amherst’s premier dance training center, has been educating young artists from beginner to pre-professional since 1993, while enhancing each dancer’s creativity, physical fitness and passion for the art of dance. Director and Owner Michelle Spezio holds extensive teaching background in all genres and aspects of training enhances opportunities for all students whether they intend to pursue a

career in the arts or are dancing for enjoyment. The professional staff of degreed teachers is dedicated to providing students a well-rounded dance education to all. SDD offers a professional studio with 4 class rooms, many amenities and versatile subjects of study as well as high level ballet training for dancers to discover their personal talents. “Dancer’s TurnOut Better,” that’s what we believe. Research shows that students who study dance are disciplined, goal oriented and selfmotivated. Dancers are expressive in their communication of emotions, likely to excel, creative, imaginative and able to critically analyze and problem solve. Educating dancers to use these life skills in pursuing goals, overcoming obstacles and staying physi-

cally fit throughout their lives is our goal. Dance Dynamics Students have won significant awards for proper training/choreography all through the USA. Dancers have attended many prestigious summer intensives and awarded scholarships. SDD is committed to helping every dancer experience the joy of dance! Spezio’s Dance Dynamics is a proud member of Dance Master’s of America, International Dance Entrepreneurs Association, NDEO, Award winning faculty and director, and has had the pleasure of training so many talented dancers. SDD dancers are going places!

1639 N. French Road, Amherst, NY 716-688-9590

www.speziosdancedynamics.com Paid Advertisement


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Tot H Parent & Preschool

425 Main St., West Seneca, NY 14224 716-674-5256 www.perisondental.com Afraid of seeing the dentist? We can help! Call now for an appointment. FIND US ON FACEBOOK

Age H School Classes Trampoline

H & Tumbling H Team program Boys & Girls all levels Open Workouts: Fri & Sat nights September - June

Learni ng ‘N’ MOTION

716-677-0338

70 Weiss Ave • West Seneca, NY 14224

www.gymnastics-unlimited.net

Come Have FUN With Us This FALL FALL!! HERE. PICK HERE. W O R G FUN HAVE E. HER

4017 Legion Dr., Hamburg, NY 14075 716-648-4035 www.drmcaseypediatricdds.com Pediatric Dentistry. Dental Care for Infants, Children, and Young Adults.

COULTER FARMS & MARKET

THE SUMMIT CENTER

COMMUNITY SUPPORTED AGRICULTURE Hayrides • U-pick Pumpkins Corn Maze • Donuts, Cider, Fruit Pies Homegrown Seasonal Produce Group & School Tour Opportunities Lasting Memories & Traditions

716-741-4239 GREGSUPICK.COM

BECKER FARMS & VIZCARRA VINEYARDS

Dentists (Pediatric):

Educational Services:

9270 LAPP ROAD • CLARENCE CENTER, NY 14032

Farms & Farm Markets: 3724 Quaker Rd., Gasport, NY 14067 716-772-2211 www.beckerfarms.com U-Pick Fruit; Farm Market; CSA; Pies, Ice Cream; Animals; Educational Tours; A 128-Year Family Tradition! Visit Vizcarra Vineyards & Becker Brewing Co.!

MAUREEN J. CASEY, DDS

Preschool with a Twist!

150 Stahl Rd., Getzville, NY 14068 General Information: 716-629-3400 www.thesummitcenter.org Developmental evaluations, therapeutic and clinical services, family support services, behavioral health services, respite, & school programs for children from birth to adult. FIND US ON FACEBOOK See Our Advertiser Spotlight.

3870 N. Ridge Rd., Lockport, NY 14094 716-433-8300 www.coulterfarmsllc.com Family farm festivals. U-pick berries, homegrown fruits, vegetables, pumpkins, custom canned goods.

GREG’S U-PICK FARM MARKET

9270 Lapp Rd., Clarence Center, NY 14032 716-741-4239 www.gregsupick.com U-Pick farm market and CSA. Produce, baked goods, animal barn and more.

The SummiT CenTer

Offering Programs & Services for Children with Autism

SpoTlighT on

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Dentists (Family): TAMMY PERISON, DDS

Girls & Boys Gymnastics

The Summit Center provides educational, behavioral health, adult & community programs & services to children and adults with developmental, social and behavioral challenges. We accomplish this goal by using evidencebased practices and carefully monitoring progress. Summit employs more than 500 staff members including special education teachers, behavior specialists, speech pathologists, occupational and physical therapists, psychologists, and respite providers. Most professional staff have Master’s degrees and many members of Summit’s leadership team have Doctoral

degrees and advanced training in Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA). These professionals work closely with parents to help your child achieve the highest level of independence. Following are the various programs we offer for your child and family:

To find out more about how Summit may be able to help your child, please call us at 629-3400 or visit our website at www. TheSummitCenter.org.

• Evaluations • Early Autism Program • Adult Programs • Summit Academy • Respite Programs • Parent Training Programs • Behavioral Pediatrics Clinic

150 Stahl Road Getzville, NY 14068 716-629-3400

www.TheSummitCenter.org Paid Advertisement


FENCING CENTER OF BUFFALO

485 Cayuga Rd., Cheektowaga, NY 14225 716-553-3448 www.fencingbuffalo.com Learn to fence. Instruction in classical fencing. Kids, teens, adults. Equipment provided. When you call or visit an advertiser, please tell them “I SAW YOU IN WNY FAMILY!”

Gymnastics:

BUFFALO TURNERS

3200 Elmwood Ave., Kenmore, NY 14217 716-877-2700 www.buffaloturnersgymnastics.com Gymnastics instruction for girls and boys, 3 - 18 years.

CHILDREN IN ACTION

GYMNASTICS UNLIMITED

70 Weiss Ave., Orchard Park/West Seneca, NY 14224 716-677-0338 www.gymnastics-unlimited.net Infant-18 yrs., Tramp/Tumble, Learning in Motion, Open Time.

ROLLY POLLIES

9630 Transit Road, Suite 100 East Amherst, NY 14051 716-689-6151 4058 N. Buffalo Rd. Orchard Park, NY 14127 716-662-7424 1669 Hertel Ave., Buffalo, NY 14216 716-833-3318 www.RPWNY.com Children’s gym classes, camps, birthday parties, open play & more for ages 4 months - 9 years old! See Our Advertiser Spotlight.

75 Mid County Dr., Orchard Park, NY 14127 716-662-6886 Email: ciagym@aol.com www.childreninactiongym.com Gymnastics, Boys & Girls 12 months and up. Parent-Tot, Preschool Program, Tumbling, Birthday Parties, Field Trips, Playgroups. FIND US ON FACEBOOK

Rolly Pollies

sPotlight on

WNY’s Largest Locally and Family Owned Kid’s Gym!

Rolly Pollies is WNY’s only gym for kids with a bouncehouse, trampoline, foam pit and more! For 17 years, Rolly Pollies has offered play with a purpose, through classes, open play, birthday parties, summer camps and more! Why Classes? Rolly Pollies’s class schedule accommodates every family’s schedule with evening, daytime and weekend classes. Families are encouraged to have fun together with equipment built for everyone! A full session of classes gives children the

opportunity to develop gross motor skills and friendships, learn socialization skills, take directions from “Roll Models”, and see the same friends each week. Party With Us! Rolly Pollies offers WNYs best birthday parties, hosting only one party at a time: yours! Everyone is invited to play, no charge for adults, and the birthday child and their siblings are free too! This allows all families the ability to invite just as many friends. After all, it’s the people that make a party! Fun @ Home by Rolly Pollies You can now enjoy Rolly Pollies expertise in play-based child development at home. Our Fun @ Home line of products offer a range of Montessori based sensory activities and experiences that help foster language, cognitive and social/emotional growth. You can even grab a Fit Kit which perfectly compliments the Rolly Pollies YouTube Channel for endless gross-motor activity. Open Play Check our website to register online for Open Play. Use Your Health Insurance Wellness Cards Raising heathly children is Rolly Pollies mission! Because of this, most area

health insurances will help pay for your Rolly Pollies classes and camps. Simply give your insurance company a call to see if they will cover your child’s programs at Rolly Pollies. Keep the learning going at home with our YouTube Channel; RollyPolliesWNY.

Funtastic Fitness For Kids

Three great locations: 9630 Transit Road East Amherst, NY 14051

716-689-6151

4058 North Buffalo Road Orchard Park, NY 14127

716-662-7424

1669 Hertel Ave. Buffalo, NY 14216

716-833-3318

www.RPWNY.com

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Fencing Instruction:

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Health Care & Wellness: GREAT LAKES MEDICAL IMAGING

199 Park Club Lane, Suite 300 Williamsville, NY 14221 716-836-4646 www.GLMI.com Open MRI, Low Dose CT, 3D Mammography, Bone Density, Nuclear Medicine, PET/CT, Ultrasound, and now introducing Interventional Radiology.

Home Help Services:

CHRISTIAN HOME COMPANIONS

788 Birchwood Dr., Lockport, NY 14094 716-439-8100 Email: ChristianHomeCompanions@gmail.com www.christianhomecompanions.com In Home Help from the HEART.

Human Services: sasi

960 West Maple Ct., Elma, NY 14059 716-805-1555 www.sasinc.org Transforming lives through creative opportunities and excellent supports for people with disabilities and special needs.

Martial Arts:

PRESCOTT’S MARTIAL ARTS ACADEMY

1321 Erie Ave., North Tonawanda, NY 14120 716-695-3552 www.prescottsmartialarts.com Get off the couch, center yourself, get into shape. FIND US ON FACEBOOK This handy resource guide appears twice a year, in WNY Family’s May & October issues. Call 716-836-3486 ext. 104 to learn how your business or organization can participate.

Museums & Attractions: AQUARIUM OF NIAGARA

701 Whirlpool St., Niagara Falls, NY 14301 716-285-3575 www.aquariumofniagara.org Visit WNY’s only aquarium. Sea Lions, Seals, Penguins and more!

BIRD KINGDOM

5651 River Rd., Niagara Falls, ON L2E 7M7 905-356-8888 www.birdkingdom.ca Discover the world’s largest freeflying indoor aviary… an adventure for all ages! Open all year.

THE BUFFALO & ERIE COUNTY BOTANICAL GARDENS

2655 South Park Ave., Buffalo, NY 14218 716-827-1584 www.buffalogardens.com A tropical paradise featuring exotic horticulture treasures & so much more!

HERSCHELL CARROUSEL FACTORY MUSEUM

180 Thompson St., North Tonawanda, NY 14120 716-693-1885 www.carrouselmuseum.org Fun events and activities for all ages. Once Around Is Never Enough! Find this section ONLINE in our digital issue at www.wnyfamilymagazine.com

KENAN CENTER & ARENA

433 Locust St., Lockport, NY 14094 716-433-2617 www.kenancenter.org Visit the Kenan Center Campus in Lockport, NY for world class architecture and gardens, and the new Daisy’s Adventure Garden outdoor play space for youth. The Kenan Center offers year-round arts, education, and recreational programming for people of all ages.

VISIT THE NIAGARA POWER VISTA VISITORS CENTER!

5777 Lewiston Rd, Lewiston, NY 14092 716-286-6661 www.NYPA.gov/niagarapowervista Powerful Family Fun with 50+ interactive energy exhibits! Open 7 days/week, 9am-­5pm (except some holidays). Always FREE admission, parking, and seasonal shuttle service. Handicap accessible.

OLD FORT NIAGARA

PO Box 169, Youngstown, NY 14174 716-745-7611 www.oldfortniagara.org Your gateway to family adventure! Living history programs every day, special events, re-enactments. FIND US ON FACEBOOK

THE WHITWORTH FERGUSON PLANETARIUM

Science and Mathematics Complex, Buffalo State College • 716-878-4911 www.planetarium.buffalostate.edu Visit the planetarium for immersive astronomy programs and exciting laser music experiences!


is one of the most important events in your life. Let our specialists at General Physician, PC, Northowns Maternal-Fetal Medicine Center and OB•GYN Associates of WNY provide expert care for you and your growing family.

Everything you need provided with compassion & excellence of care.

• Genetic Evaluation by a Certified Genetic Counselor • Ultrasound Screening, Including 3D/4D • Diagnosis & Management of Fetal Anomalies • Percutaneous Umbilical Blood Sampling • Fetal Non-Stress Tests • Adolescent Wellness • Gynecology • Infertility • Nutrition Counseling • Preconception Counseling • Lactation Consulting • Midwifery • Ultra Chorionic Villus Sampling • Sexual Wellness Counseling • Contraceptive Counseling • Prenatal Screening & Diagnosis • Management of Multiple Gestation • Urogynecology • Surgery • Amniocentesis

Proudly Partnering with General Physician PC

General Physician, PC Women’s Health | 716.656.4077 • gppconline.com OB•GYN Associates of WNY | 716.675.5222 • ogawny.com Northtowns Maternal-Fetal Medicine Center | 716.632.8124 • gppconline.com

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a baby baby

Having

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Music Instruction: 716 MUSIC & MORE

716-390-8347 www.716MusicAndMore.com Music classes for young children and their parents or caregivers.

Obstetrics & Gynecology: GENERAL PHYSICIAN, PC WOMEN’S HEALTH

Pottery Painting and Glass Fusing Follow us on Facebook & Instagram

Open for walk-ins 7 Days a week, Birthday Parties, and Ladies Nights.

Multiple locations - Buffalo, East Amherst, East Aurora, Lockport, Orchard Park, Snyder, Williamsville 716-656-4077 www.gppconline.com/womenshealth Caring for women of all ages and in all stages of life.

NORTHTOWNS MATERNALFETAL MEDICINE CENTER

1020 Youngs Rd., Suite 110, Williamsville, NY 14221 716-632-8124 www.gppconline.com Providing access to patient services for high-risk pregnant women and their babies.

138 Grey Street, East Aurora, NY

OB • GYN ASSOCIATES OF WNY

~ Founded in 1929 ~

Multiple locations - West Seneca, Lancaster, Springville 716-675-5222 www.ogawny.com Offering women a wide array of routine and specialized OB/GYN care.

UBMD OBSTETRICS & GYNECOLOGY

Christ the King School offers faith based education in a safe, nurturing and challenging environment. Rigorous Academic Excellence plus Art, Latin, Spanish, Music, Sports, and Technology.

1020 Youngs Rd., Suite 110, Williamsville, NY 14221 716-636-8284 Conventus, 1001 Main St., 4th Floor Buffalo, NY 14203 716-636-8284 www.ubmdobgyn.com Care for every woman… for every phase of life.

A STREAM School & Academy MSA CESS Accredited.

Paint Your Own Pottery:

OPEN HOUSE

Tuesday, October 25th 5:30 - 7:30pm

2 Lamarck Drive | Amherst, NY 14226

(716) 839-0473

www.myCTKschool.com

CREATIVE RELATIONSHIP CENTER

7345 Transit Rd., East Amherst, NY 14051 716-446-9226 www.creativerelationshipcenter.com Stronger couples, happier children, healthier families — traditional, blended, extended, pre/post divorce. See Our Advertiser Spotlight.

PARENT NETWORK OF WNY

1021 Broadway St., Buffalo, NY 14212 716-332-4170 www.parentnetworkwny.org Supporting families of individuals with disabilities through educational resources, 1-on-1 support and events.

Party Resources:

ENCHANTING BIRTHDAYS OF WNY

716-725-3578 www.enchantingbirthdays.com Bring your child’s dreams to life with our Princesses and Superheroes.

Performing Arts:

ACADEMY OF THEATRE ARTS

716-655-4456 www.designingdish.com

Christ the King School

Parenting Resources:

DESIGNING DISH

138 Grey St., East Aurora, NY 14052 716-655-4456 www.designingdish.com Where everyone is creative. Pottery, glass, pottery to go and much more!! FIND US ON INSTAGRAM FIND US ON FACEBOOK

4231 Transit Rd., Williamsville, NY 14221 716-810-0551 www.academyoftheatrearts.com Nationally award winning ATA offering classes in voice, acting, dance AND FILM for ages 4-18! See Our Advertiser Spotlight.

ZPAC PERFORMING ARTS CENTER, LLC

See Listing Under “Dance Instruction”

Preschools/Montessori: FOUNDATIONS

6445 West Quaker, Orchard Park, NY 14127 716-667-9377 www.foundationspreschool.net A private preschool offering an enhanced curriculum with progressive programs for 2-5 year olds.

LEARNING ‘N’ MOTION/ GYMNASTICS UNLIMITED

See Listing Under “Gymnastics”

ROOTS OF THE FUTURE MONTESSORI SCHOOL

8970 Main St., Clarence, NY 14031 716-545-8048 www.rootsofthefuture.com An education that understands and nurtures your child’s natural curiosity for knowledge.


CHARTER SCHOOL FOR APPLIED TECHNOLOGIES

2303 Kenmore Ave., Buffalo, NY 14207 716-710-3068 www.csat-k12.org Serving grades K-12, open to all residents, no entrance exams.

CHRIST THE KING SCHOOL

2 Lamarck Drive, Snyder, NY 14226 716-839-0473 www.myctkschool.com Offering PreK3 - 8th grade. Small Classes & Strong Academics. FIND US ON FACEBOOK

MOUNT ST. MARY ACADEMY

3756 Delaware Ave., Kenmore, NY 14217 716-877-1358 www.msmacademy.org Take a private, personal tour of the Mount!

3980 Main St., Amherst, NY 14226 716-835-2518 www.stbenschool.org High academic achievement in a rich spiritual environment. PK3-8th grade.

ST. GREGORY THE GREAT SCHOOL

250 St. Gregory Ct., Willliamsville, NY 14221 716-688-5323 Email: admissions@stgregsschool.org www.stgregsschool.org Pre-school 3 and 4, early kindergarten to grade 8.

STAY POSITIVE and ALIGNED! Treating the Entire Family Family Discounts Available Choose your favorite fairytale character to come celebrate with you! We bring the FUN... the LAUGHTER... & the HAPPILY EVER AFTER!

NATIVITY OF OUR LORD SCHOOL 4414 S. Buffalo St., Orchard Park, NY 14127 716-662-7572 www.nativityschool.net Nativity: Where Faith Leads to Success.

May all your dreams

Call 632-4476

6035 Main Street Williamsville, NY 14221

Open 7 Days A Week

www.MunroeChiropractic.com

come true!

www.enchantingbirthdays.com godmother@enchantingbirthdays.com facebook.com/enchantingbirthdays

716-725-3578

enchantingbirthdaysofwny

Creative relationship Center

spotlight on

Strengthening relationships. One conversation at a time.

“Relationships A divorced mother are a part of everyof six, including twins, one’s life, but they Wendy founded Creative are hard work”, Relationship Center to says Wendy Pegan, help lessen children’s founder of Creative stress through traumatic Relationship Center, transitions like divorce, therapist, mediaand to help them grow tor, and relationship into happy, successful coach. “The 3 areas adults. “Our mission where I see people truly is to strengthen struggle the most is families for generations, primarily after a couand that begins with ple has been together today’s children.” for 3-4 years, around Wendy B. Pegan, Founder As a Family and 15 years into the marSupreme Court rosriage and absolutely around the tered mediator, Wendy claims that, decision to divorce. Believe it or not, although mediation helps families many of the issues are the same – save time, trauma, and money, they communication. often come into the process without “The courts don’t make it any the skills to collaborate successfully, easier for families to work together and without the follow-up support during a separation or divorce. At they often need to make their agreeCreative Relationship Center we keep ments work over time. people out of court by helping them “We work with a comprehenresolve their issues in our office. It is sive Creative Mediation process, the healthiest way to keep children where formerly combative partners strong and resilient!” can establish a more positive, mutu-

ally beneficial post-divorce relationship – in the best interests of the entire extended family.” Creative Relationship Center helps families in transition through a comprehensive array of interventions for all family members, including counseling, specialized programs like “Couples on the Brink”, “Children Surviving Divorce”… “Youth for Success”… and “Creative Couples Intensive Weekends.” COMING SOON... Online classes beginning January 2023 Couples 2-Day Intensives beginning January 2023

7345 Transit Rd. • East Amherst, NY

716-446-9226

Wendy@CreativeRelationshipCenter.com Paid Advertisement

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ST. BENEDICT SCHOOL

Schools:

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Schools cont.:

TRINITY CHRISTIAN SCHOOL

146 Reserve Rd., West Seneca, NY 14224 716-674-5353 www.thinktrinitychristian.com Providing Christ-centered education for PK-3 through 8th grades since 1851. NLSA Accredited. FIND US ON FACEBOOK

Senior Housing:

PEOPLE INC. SENIOR LIVING

716-817-9090 www.people-inc.org People Inc. operates 19 Senior Living affordable apartment complexes throughout Western New York.

Senior Transportation Services: HEARTS & HANDS

Erie & Eastern Niagara Counties 716-406-8311 www.hnhcares.org Supporting older adults and caregivers with volunteer transportation, in-home supports, and social connections.

Skating Lessons (Ice): SKATE GREAT

2982 Lakeview Rd., Hamburg, NY 14075 3465 Broadway, Cheektowaga, NY 14227 75 Weiss Rd., West Seneca, NY 14224 41 Riley St., East Aurora, NY 14052 Canalside, 44 Prime St., Buffalo, NY 14202 716-580-3458 Email: sk8gr8info@gmail.com www.sk8gr8.com #1 Learn-To-Skate Program in WNY. Over 20 classes per week. FIND US ON FACEBOOK

Special Needs Services: THE CHILDREN’S LEAGUE

393 North St., Springville, NY 14141 716-592-9331 www.tclny.org Center & community-based educational & therapeutic programming. EI & CPSE Evaluations. Serving children birth-8 years of age.

COMMUNITY SERVICES FOR EVERY1

180 Oak St., Buffalo, NY 14203 716-883-8888 Email: info@csevery1.com www.csevery1.com Helping people of all abilities reach their fullest potential. The next Family Resource Guide will appear in our May 2023 issue.

THE DOWN SYNDROME PARENTS GROUP OF WNY

547 Englewood Ave., Kenmore NY 14223 716-832-9334 www.dspgwny.org Raising awareness of and enhancing the lives of people with Down syndrome.

HIGH HURDLES

sasi - 13339 Route 39 - PO Box 526 Sardinia, NY 14134 • 716-496-5551 www.sasinc.org/high-hurdles Therapeutic horsemanship program serving individuals with disabilities.

MOVING MIRACLES DANCE STUDIO

sasi - 954 Union Road, Suite 1 West Seneca, NY 14224 • 716-656-1321 www.movingmiracles.org Therapeutic dance/movement program for individuals with developmental disabilities and special needs. Find this section ONLINE in our digital issue at www.wnyfamilymagazine.com

PEOPLE INC.

1219 North Forest Rd., Williamsville, NY 14221 716-817-7400 www.people-inc.org People Inc. is Western New York’s leading non-profit human services agency, providing services to people with special needs, families and older adults to achieve greater degrees of independence and productivity. Services include: Residential, vocational and supported employment, respite, senior services, health care and affordable apartments.

Tourism/Travel:

CHAUTAUQUA COUNTY VISITORS BUREAU

Chautauqua Main Gate, Route 394, Chautauqua, NY 14722 866-908-4569 www.tourchautauqua.com Experience amazing outdoor recreation and unique cultural attractions in Chautauqua County, NY. See Our Advertiser Spotlight.

Toy Store:

CLAYTON’S TOYS

5225 Main St., Williamsville, NY 14221 716-633-1966 1396 Hertel Ave., Buffalo, NY 14216 716-939-3000 www.claytonstoystore.com One Hundred and seven years of delivering smiles!

FISHER-PRICE® TOY STORE

636 Girard Ave., East Aurora, NY 14052 716-687-3300 www.fisherpricetoystore.com We carry Fisher-Price® and Mattel ® products. Visit our website for coupons and more.

RAFF AND FRIENDS

4545 Transit Rd., Eastern Hills Mall Williamsville, NY 14221 716-632-4202 www.raffandfriends.com Toy Store and Playland. Games, puzzles, Playmobil, science, crafts, plush, educational toys.

Tutoring:

CENTER FOR LITERACY AND READING INSTRUCTION (CLaRI)

17 Baldy Hall, University at Buffalo Amherst, NY 14260 • 716-645-2470 www.buffalo.edu/clari CLaRI provides diagnostic reading evaluations and individualized oneto-one literacy tutoring.

Urgent Care:

WNY IMMEDIATE CARE

4988 Harlem Road, Amherst, NY 14226 716-564-2273 6375 Transit Rd., Suite 2000, Depew, NY 14043 716-684-2273 2228 Delaware Ave., Buffalo, NY 14216 716-874-2273 3346 Southwestern Blvd, Orchard Park, NY 14127 716-675-3700 www.wnyimmediatecare.com For quick, quality treatment in an hour or less, 365 days a year visit WNY Immediate Care. On-site physicians and advanced practice clinicians provide cost effective treatment of coughs, colds, flu, allergies, and other non-life threatening injuries. With four convenient locations, we help you Get In. Get Out. Feel Better!™

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Tell them you saw their ad in WNY Family Magazine.


ABUSE/DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

n New York State Office of Children & Family Services https://ocfs.ny.gov/programs/ prevention State Hotline: 1-800-342-3720 Report abuse/neglect of children. If you believe a child is in immediate danger, call 911 or your local police department. n New York State Office for the Prevention of Domestic Violence https://opdv.ny.gov/survivorsvictims New York State Domestic & Sexual Violence 24 hour Hotline: 1-800-942-6906 According to Safe Horizon, a New York victims’ services agency, 1 in 4 women will experience domestic violence; more than 3 million children each year witness domestic violence at home; without help, girls who witness domestic violence are more vulnerable to abuse, and boys are more likely to become abusers of their partners and children as adults, continuing a cycle of violence seen in families all too often. n Haven House Child & Family Services 24-Hour Hotline: 716-884-6000 (for HELP & Shelter) For over 35 years, Haven House has been working to prevent domestic violence/intimate partner violence and promote peace in the home. Services are based on a continuum of care ranging from a fullyinclusive emergency shelter in a confidential location to long-term transitional housing. The continuum of care includes an extensive counseling and advocacy program for all individuals regardless of gender that includes many satellite locations throughout Erie County. Who Should Call? Anyone involved in an intimate partner violence or family violence situation, including: domestic violence,

dating violence, stalking, those in same-sex relationships, those with disabilities, male survivors, senior citizens, and immigrant and refugee victims of domestic violence. Friends, family members, co-workers, neighbors, or professionals with questions about domestic violence operates safe and secure emergency housing in a confidential location for women and their children, single women, and transgendered individuals identifying as female. Shelter supportive services include: Safety Planning, Individual Counseling, Support groups (including Art Empowerment), Advocacy. Referrals can call the hotline for information. Haven House housing assistance, Referrals to transitional housing, Food, Clothing, Crisis Intervention, and Children’s Programs. n Family Justice Center of Erie County 716-558-SAFE (7233) www.fjcsafe.org Offers free services for domestic violence victims and their children through an extensive collaboration with 13 partner agencies, all located at one secured, comfortable location, where victims can get all the services they need to safely escape abuse. Appointments are not necessary but are recommended. All services are available virtually by calling 716-558-7233. Buffalo 438 Main St., Suite 201, Buffalo 716-558-7233 (Monday-Friday; 8:30am-4pm) Orchard Park 4383 South Buffalo St., Orchard Park 716-662-0259 (Wed. 8:30am-4pm) Amherst 330 North Forest Rd., Amherst 716-634-4309 (Thurs.; 8:30am-4pm) Grand Island Satellite 1801 Grand Island Blvd. Suite 3 Grand Island 716-507-0764 (Tues.; 8:30am-4pm)

ADOPTION

n Adoption Star 131 John Muir Drive Amherst, NY 14228 716-639-3900 www.adoptionstar.com Provides thorough and compassionate counseling to pregnant individuals, regardless of location, who are considering their options, including abortion, parenting, and adoption. Allows prospective adoptive parents and expectant parents to explore all the adoption options and to receive the appropriate information and education necessary to access those options. Provides counseling and support to birth parents and prospective adoptive parents. n Adoption Program Child & Family Services 330 Delaware Ave. Buffalo, NY 14202 716-842-2750 www.cfsbny.org Specializes in promoting permanency through adoption for children of all ages in the foster care system. Staff work with children freed for adoption as well as families interested in adopting children. Provides support, training, and case planning services for the child and adoptive family. n Center for Family Development 5820 Main St., Suite 406 Williamsville, NY 14221 716-810-0790 Provides counseling for adoptive and foster families, adopted children, children in foster care (ages birth through adult), and adult adopters. Offers educational workshops for families and support groups; professional training and consultation; court ordered custody evaluations; pre-placement home studies and post-placement supervision. Offers WNY’s only Attachment and Bonding Center. Provides attachment therapy, evaluations, and treatment for children and adolescents using an evidencebased treatment approach. – continued next page

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 Parenting Resources  Parenting Resources  Parenting Resources  AFTER SCHOOL CARE

n For a very comprehensive list of more than 100 after school care programs in Erie County visit www.211wny.org and enter “after school” in the search box. Information on programs in Niagara and other counties is also available through this site. If you do not have access to the Internet, call 1-888-696-9211.

BABY NEEDS

There are a number of local “Baby Needs” programs that meet the emergency needs of infants and very young children by providing them with a supply of diapers, infant formula, baby food, and baby care products. Limited quantities available; supplies may differ at each location. Get in touch with Baby Needs programs at the following locations which serve specific zip codes: n Buffalo River Food Pantry 62 Republic Street Buffalo, NY 14204 www.old1stward.com 716-856-8613 Mon-Thurs, 8am-11am. Serving zip code 14204. n Every Bottom Covered Delavan Grider Community Ctr. 877 Delevan Ave. Buffalo, NY 14215 716-896-7021 Provides up to 50 free diapers and/or 20 pull-ups for each child in eligible families. Diapers available for pickup on a monthly basis. n The Genesis Center 2161 Seneca Street Buffalo, NY 14210 716-822-1901 www.thegenesiscenter.us Hours by appointment only. Call to schedule. Serving zip code 14210 for parents with an emergency need; no residency requirements for children’s clothing. n Kenmore Alliance Church 175 Bonnet Ave Tonawanda, NY 14150 www.kenmorealliance.com/ ministries/kac-serves 716-876-5570

Many types of services are offered including emergency essentials for babies. n Harvest House Baby & Children’s Ministry 175 Jefferson Avenue Buffalo, NY 14210 716-824-7818 ext. 214 www.harvesthousebuffalo.org Serving Erie County; by appointment only.

BREASTFEEDING

n La Leche League International www.lllusa.org La Leche League has several groups meeting in WNY as well as leaders who are available to answer your questions about breastfeeding. If you are unable to find a leader in your area, call 1-877-4-LALECHE (1-877-452-5324). Amherst • Cynthia, 716-989-7070; Cindy, 716-835-7504. East Aurora • Karen, 716-652-0225. Hamburg/West Seneca • Kimberly, 716-997-4662; Amanda, 716-220-1597 Niagara Falls • Christine, 716-523-1143.

CHILD SUPPORT ASSISTANCE

n Child Support Enforcement (CSE) Erie Co. Dept. of Social Services 95 Franklin St., Room 230 Buffalo, NY 14202 Helpline: 888-208-4485 Email: cseweberie@dfa.state.ny.us CSE can help locate the noncustodial parent, help parents establish paternity if either has any doubt about the identity of a child’s biological father, help the custodial parent file a petition in Family Court for an order of support, and enforces a child support order when the noncustodial parent does not pay. The child support enforcement program has legislative authority to collect overdue child support (arrears) and to obtain medical coverage through a variety of administrative procedures. Some administrative procedures can be put into action without going to court.

Noncustodial parents who fail to pay child support can be subject to having the funds automatically deducted from their wages; unemployment payments, federal and/or state tax refunds, and lottery winnings can be intercepted; financial assets, including bank accounts, can be seized. Delinquent noncustodial parents can also have their NY State drivers license suspended and can be prevented from obtaining or renewing their passports. For further information about Child Support Services in New York State visit www.newyorkchildsupport.com.

DIVORCE SUPPORT

n NY State Parent Education & Awareness Program http://ww2.nycourts.gov/ip/ parent-ed/index.shtml Launched in 2005, and offered under the auspices of Catholic Charities of Buffalo here in WNY, this program is designed to educate divorcing or separating parents about the impact of their breakup on their children. The primary goal is to teach parents ways they can reduce the stress of family changes and protect their children from the negative effects of ongoing parental conflict in order to foster and promote their children’s healthy adjustment and development. Four topics are addressed in the Parenting & Child Well-Being portion of the curriculum: 1) Creating and Maintaining Supportive Parent-Child Relationships 2) Providing a Stable, Supportive Home Environment 3) Maintaining Healthy Parental Functioning & Psychological WellBeing 4) Protecting Children from Ongoing Conflict Between Parents. An overview of the Legal Process is also included. In Erie County, there are “Our Kids: A Parent Education & Awareness Program” class locations in Amherst, Buffalo, and Hamburg; – continued next page


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 Parenting Resources  Parenting Resources  Parenting Resources  contact Michele Wittman, 716-896-6390 or email michele. wittman@ccwny.org. In Niagara County, there are class locations in Niagara Falls and Lockport; contact Michele Wittman, 716-896-6390 or email michele.wittman@ccwny.org. At the present time, online courses are also being held. If you live in any other county, visit the website for a list of providers. n New York State Council on Divorce Mediation https://nysmediate.org/ Divorce mediation is a voluntary, cooperative settlement process in which a neutral professional helps you make practical, informed decisions to resolve your differences. It is used frequently and successfully by separating and divorcing couples who want to plan their futures rationally, in an atmosphere of cooperation and mutual respect. With the guidance of a trained mediator, you work together through a series of orderly steps to create a fair and reasonable agreement. Visit their web site to find accredited mediators in your area, or call 516-227-2595.

DRUG & ALCOHOL ABUSE

n Partnership for Drug-Free Kids Get Help via text, email or by scheduling a call with their trained specialists by visiting www.drugfree.org. Drug use remains a significant problem in the United States, however adolescent drug use is particularly damaging as such use can affect the physical and mental development of younger people and can impact their opportunities later in life. In 2020, 7.58% of 12- to 17-year olds reported using drugs in the last month. 91,799 people died from drug overdoses in 2020, 21,000 more than the previous year, making it a leading cause of injury-related death in the United States. A person is more likely to die from an accidental opioid overdose than from a motor vehicle crash. This national organization helps

parents take effective action before their child’s drug use or drinking reaches a point where treatment is required. Research has shown that substance abuse problems can be reduced by intervening early. Encouraging parents to take immediate action is therefore a main goal of the helpline’s team of parent support specialists who offer expert advice to help parents plan a course of action and can supply a list of local resources or treatment facilities. Their website is an excellent one-stop resource where you can educate yourself about specific drugs, teen behavior, and ways to talk to your kids to prevent abuse from ever happening in the first place. n UNDERAGE DRINKING TIPLINE 1-800-851-1932 Erie County Sheriff’s Office anonymous, confidential, and free hotline. Concerned adults, teachers, students and friends now have a number to call 24 hours a day, to report planned underage drinking parties; underage drinking parties taking place or other activities that may be harmful to the health, safety and welfare of young people.

FOOD ALLERGIC FAMILIES n Greater Buffalo Food Allergy Alliance www.gbfoodallergy.org The mission of this local support group is to share information, tips, and experiences to ease the challenges of living with food allergies, as well as raise the awareness in the community; meets at the Orchard Park Library, 4570 South Buffalo St., Orchard Park. You can find more details on their website or Facebook page.

KINSHIP CAREGIVERS

Among the many changes in society today is the growing incidence of grandparents raising

their grandchildren, or other relatives or family friends taking on the primary role or raising a child in the absence of biological parents. Check with your church, your town’s senior services center, or your county’s mental health association for currently active support groups or counseling services. Here are several resources: n Catholic Charities of Buffalo Kinship Preventive Services 412 Niagara St., Buffalo, NY 14201 716-854-3622 The Preventive Services Kinship program serves Erie County families involved with the child welfare system by placing children under the care of relatives. Staff conduct home visits to observe family interactions and provide referrals, as well as offer counseling and support for caregivers and biological parents in attaining child permanency, including filing for benefits and petitions in family court. In addition, staff are specially trained to work with families where children have been removed out of the natural home and placed in kinship care. All families must be referred through the Erie County Department of Social Services. n Child and Family Services 330 Delaware Avenue, Buffalo, NY 14202 716-842-2750 Child and Family Services Kinship Preventive Services Program works with kinship caregivers and parents to prevent placement of relative children out of their homes (foster care, residential), and works to expedite the return of children to their parents and/ or Article 6 custody to the kinship caregiver. The Kinship Preventive Services Program assigns a counselor who – utilizing a family systems, solution focused approach – assists parents and/ or kinship caregivers in solving problems, learning new ways of coping, and identifying other needed services. A majority of the service occurs in the kinship caregiver and/or parent’s home,


however, some counseling sessions and group sessions will occur in one of several Child and Family Services offices. The kinship program offers the family case management, various workshops including support groups and parenting education. n OLV Human Services-Kinship Caregiver Program 790 Ridge Rd Lackawanna, NY 14218 716-828-9411 www.olvhumanservices.org Provides services to caregivers in Erie and Chautauqua counties who have Article 6 or 1017 custody arrangements, as well as those caregivers providing informal care arrangements for children not biologically their own. Services include familydriven case management provided by an MSW Case Manager. Additional services include monthly peer lead support groups and educational sessions

for kinship caregivers, as well as interactive groups designed specifically for children in the caregiver’s household, and family engagement activities for all family members. n Hillside Kinship Caregiver Program 1 Mustard Street Rochester, NY 14609 315-459-1606 https://www.hillside.com Serving Erie and Monroe counties. This program serves families with informal or legal custody of a youth between the ages of 0-18, free of charge. Services are provided by experienced kinship parents and other kinship professionals who understand the challenges grandparents, relatives, or any non-parent caregiver may experience at times and the need to secure resources and meet other kinship families. – continued next page

AcAdemy of TheATre ArTs

spoTlighT on

Giving Students the Opportunity to Shine

Winner of New York Theatre Guide’s “Best Theatre Program for Young Artists”; Academy of Theatre Arts is the only full-time, year-round theatre venue in Western New York created for the development and training of children and young adults in acting, vocal performance, and musical theatre dance. ATA provides an extensive year-long program for anyone between the ages of 3 and 18 who has an interest and passion for theatre arts. But beyond its excellent theatrical training, ATA uses theatre as a platform to teach and promote excellence in public speaking, self-esteem, confidence, and personal skills.

Each year, the students of ATA perform a major school showcase, which gives them the opportunity to shine on our ATA Theatre stage. ATA creates entertaining, professional shows consisting of smaller student casts and providing each child with more stage time in a much shorter show. In addition to regular classes, ATA offers special audition-only student companies where students get the opportunity to perform in their own musical, attend workshops, work with Broadway performers, and compete in festivals.

In addition to their year-round program, Academy of Theatre Arts offers summer programs to provide students with the opportunity to learn and perform in a full-blown musical in just 1-2 short weeks. While youngest students begin by learning about public speaking and how to feel comfortable on stage, older students learn about all aspects of a theatrical production: what it takes to put on a musical not only on stage but off stage as well.

4231 Transit Rd. Williamsville, NY 14221 (716) 810-0551 www.academyoftheatrearts.com Paid Advertisement

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 Parenting Resources  Parenting Resources 

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 Parenting Resources  Parenting Resources  Parenting Resources  n Non-Parent Caregivers: NY State & Erie County Dept. of Social Services Programs Non-parent caregivers — grandparents, other relatives, friends — who are caring for children without a parent living in their home, may be eligible for Temporary Assistance. Temporary Assistance for children not living with a parent is often referred to as “nonparent caregiver” or “child-only” grants, and includes Medical Assistance (MA). If the non-parent caregiver wants assistance only for the children, the non-parent caregiver’s income is not used to determine eligibility and there are no Temporary Assistance work requirements for the non-parent caregiver. Non-parent caregivers may apply for temporary assistance at their local social services office. In addition to financial assistance, non-parent caregivers (also called kinship caregivers) often have a need for information and assistance related to food stamps, the Home Energy Assistance Program (HEAP), custody, guardianship, foster care, adoption, schooling, school enrollment, and other forms of assistance such as child care, social security, respite, case management and service programs. You can download a very detailed PDF of non-parent caregiver resources - financial, childcare, food, home energy assistance, and more at https://ocfs.ny.gov/ publications/OCFS-Pub5194.pdf

LEAD POISONING SERVICES

n Erie County Department of Health LEADSAFE Erie County 503 Kensington Avenue Buffalo, NY 14124 716-961-6800 Families with young children who want information about lead poisoning prevention can request an assessment of their pre-1978 home. A visual exterior and interior inspection by staff will identify any potential lead hazards and a lead education

visit with the family will provide cleaning supplies and strategies for avoiding lead hazards. “Communities of Concern” have been designated in zip codes 14201, 14207, 14208, 14209, 14210, 14211, 14212, 14213, and 14215.

MISSING PERSONS

n New York State Division of Criminal Justice Missing Persons Clearinghouse 1-800-346-3543 Call local law enforcement first to report a missing child or adult. Call the hotline for case intake or to provide lead information. Electronically distributes missing child or missing college student alerts statewide and assists in investigation.

NUTRITION ASSISTANCE

n WIC - Women, Infants & Children https://www.ccwny.org/wic Women, Infants & Children (WIC) is a federal nutrition program that supports pregnant, postpartum, and breastfeeding women, infants and children up to the age of five to live a healthier life. WIC provides nutrition education and counseling, breastfeeding support, prenatal and postpartum support, referrals and supplemental food vouchers. All of our services are free of charge. WIC is for all kinds of families married or single parents, working or not working. Fathers, mothers, grandparents, foster parents or other legal guardians of a child under five can apply for the child to receive WIC. WIC does not require US citizenship, social security number, green card or legal residency to receive benefits. Catholic Charities operates the program locally through a variety of locations. To reach any of the sites serving Chautauqua, Erie and Niagara counties, call (716) 2181484. Not all of their locations are open every day, please call for site schedules. You may be eligible for WIC if you: • Are pregnant, breastfeeding or post-partum, OR • Have an infant or child under 5 years old, AND

• Receive SNAP (Food Stamps), Temporary Assistance (TANF) or Medicaid or meet the income guidelines below, AND • Live in New York State You can also call NY State’s Growing Up Healthy Hotline toll-free at 1-800-522-5006 for further information about eligibility, etc.

PARENT ORGANIZATIONS

Moms, we know how it is. We manage the house, the schedules, the lunch packing and dinner making. We’re there for homework, the big game, the school play, and we make it happen with a smile. Where’s that little dose of “me” time? Thankfully, there are some helpful organizations in our community just for moms. Whether you’re a new mom or a veteran mom, there’s a special place for you to connect, refresh and relax. n MOMS Club www.momsclub.org The MOMS Club is an international non-profit organization, started by a California mom. Several local chapters have formed which offer monthly meetings with speakers and discussions, park play dates, holiday family parties, outings for mothers and their children, and activity groups like playgroups, arts ‘n crafts, and a monthly MOMS Night Out. They also do community service projects. Find a local chapter through their web site. n WNY Mothers Of Multiples formerly Mothers of Twins Club of Buffalo www.wnymultiples.org This support group for expectant and current mothers of twins (and more!) meets on the 2nd Wednesday of most months at 7pm at Good Shepherd Lutheran Church, 2669 Sheridan Drive, Tonawanda. In addition to their meetings which feature “meet and mingle” sessions, they organize activities such as moms’ nights out, toy/clothing sales, and a great vareity of other mom-oriented and family events. Download membership forms on their website.


POISON EMERGENCY

n Upstate New York Poison Center 24 Hours A Day, 365 Days A Year 1-800-222-1222 https://www.upstate.edu/ poison/ Calls are answered by Specialists in Poison Information (SPIs), registered nurses, and pharmacists trained in toxicology. Specialists provide the most efficient and up-to-date poison information available. Physicians and toxicologists are on-call 24 hours a day for consultation purposes.

SPECIAL NEEDS

For a complete listing of special needs organizations, visit the DD Info Link at https://www.211wny. org/search/ddinfolink/ which provides a multitude of resources related to developmental disabilities. The resources can be broken down by age group, and then by service types, such as daily living, education, in-home services, recreation, respite and more. If you do not have access to the Internet, call 1-888-696-9211. n Parent Network of WNY 1021 Broadway Buffalo, New York 14212 Information & Referral: 716-332-4170 www.parentnetworkwny.org This community resource provides all the tools necessary for parents and professionals to take an active role in the education of children and young adults with special needs. They offer a wealth of seminars, workshops, information and referral services, a newsletter, family training services, all FREE of charge. If you’ve struggled to find the right services for your child, or are lost in the maze of rules and regulations in the Special Education System, these are the folks who can help. n Down Syndrome Parents Group of Western New York 716-832-9334 www.dspgwny.org Provides support to persons with Down Syndrome and their families through information

on educational programs and community services. A Parent Support Program connects new parents with volunteers who can share their experiences and provide support. A phone call, hospital or home visit is available upon request by calling Barbara at 716-983-2140. They host activities throughout the year. n Autism Society of Western New York 716-633-2275 https://autismwny.org/ living-with-autism/ Visit this website for a detailed list of area support groups in addition to the ones listed below. n Grand Island Autism Support Group Meets at Realty USA 2139 Grand Island Blvd., Grand Island, NY 14072 Contact: Vienna, 716-430-5118 Email: GrandIslandNYAutismGroup @gmail.com n Group for Parents of Children with ASD Meets monthly, 6:30pm-8:30pm Aspire Building, 7 Community Drive Cheektowaga, NY 14225 Contact: Jana Mertz, 716-323-6435 Email: jmertz@kaleidahealth.org Ask about their groups for parents of teenagers with ASD or Aspergers. n Niagara County Group for Parents of Children with ASD Meets monthly, 6:30pm-8:30pm Empower Children’s Academy 9812 Lockport Rd., Niagara Falls, NY 14304 Contact: Parent Network of WNY, 716-332-4170

AT THE END OF YOUR ROPE?

n Family Help Center (formerly Joan A. Male Family Support Center) 24-Hour Parent Help Line 716-892-2172 www.familyhelpcenter.net Did you ever get the feeling that

being a parent is a bigger job than you expected? The stress continues every day! Raising a family is a big job and sometimes it’s an overwhelming one! Since 1973, the Family Help Center has been providing services to families raising children and gives the support you can’t always get from family, neighbors, or even parents. They operate the only 24-hour, 365 day a year family crisis intervention and support service in Erie County, and offer immediate assistance with no application procedures, no eligibility requirements, and no waiting period. They provide in-home support services to all of Erie County, as well as a NY State licensed daycare facility. Their Family Help Center Daycare, at 60 Dingens St., Buffalo, offers full day, before, and after school care, and school-age summer programs. n Crisis Services Serving Buffalo & Erie County www.crisisservices.org 24-Hour Crisis Hotline: 716-834-3131 24-hour Addiction Hotline: 716-831-7007 24-Hour Erie County Domestic Violence Hotline: 716-834-3131 For Shelter: 716-884-6000 Provides crisis intervention and supportive counseling to all callers in Erie County. Provides immediate assistance for people who are in acute emotional distress; who are or perceive themselves to be in life-threatening situations; who are a danger to themselves or to others; or who are hysterical, frightened or otherwise unable to cope with a problem that requires immediate attention. n Crisis Services Kids Helpline: 716-834-1144 The Kids helpline is a part of the Crisis Services Counseling Program and is dedicated to serving school aged children, adolescents and parents by providing immediate and confidential support 24 hours a day, on a variety of issues related to youth and their families.

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THE FAMILY PET

Why a Wellness Visit?

Y

ou visit your physician once a year for a routine visit. As a responsible pet parent, you take your pet to their veterinarian once or twice a year for a wellness visit as well.

Does my pet really need a wellness exam? Some ask why. First, as the saying goes, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. Second, your pet can’t and won’t usually let you know there is a problem. They are wired to mask their pain as a survival tactic that goes back generations. Their care is up to you. Wellness visits change as your pet ages. Puppies and kittens are seen frequently in their first year. They need a series of vaccinations and are usually spayed or neutered at that time. As your pet ages, wellness visits are once to twice a year. Once a pet becomes a senior, just as with humans, visits may become more frequent. Pets can suffer from arthritis, dental disease, heart disease, obesity, hypertension, just like humans.

What should you do before the exam? When you book the appointment, ask if your pet should fast prior to the visit, and if you need to bring in fresh urine or fecal samples. Be prepared to let your vet know the brand and type of food that your pet eats and how much, bring or write down any

Abdomen – palpate internal organs and check for signs of discomfort/fluid

 meds or supplements they take, note any behavior changes, any ailments you’ve noticed, and any concerns you may have.

Lymph nodes and overall body – signs of illness such as swelling, muscle wasting, weight

What to expect at a wellness exam.

Legs – any evidence of lameness, nerve problems, problems with paws or toenails

Skin/coat – any excessive itching, infections, parasites, or lumps

Wellness exams are meant to compare previous visits for signs of any changes that need to be addressed. This will include a visual and hands-on exam, as well as possible tests and talking with you about your observations and concerns. During a wellness visit, your pet will be examined from nose to tail.

continued on page 48

A vet tech or your vet will likely measure your pet’s weight, temperature, pulse rate, and respiration rate. They may ask about your pet’s diet, lifestyle, behavior, level of thirst and urination, and health history. The physical exam includes checking your pets for: 

Heart – irregular heart rate or heart murmurs

Lungs – irregularities, increased or decreased breath sounds

Mouth/teeth – any indication of periodontal disease, tartar build-up, damage or tooth decay, excessive salivation

Eyes – redness, cloudiness, eyelid issues, excessive tearing, or discharge

Ears – signs of bacterial or yeast infection, ear mites October 2022 WNY Family 39


next season and it is a very special experience.

FAMILY TRAVEL

The railroad is one of the last private common carrier railroads operating both freight and passenger service.

— by Deborah Williams

Ride The Rails

The rides became accessible to everyone after Jon Thomas Robertson of Cuba convinced Extreme MakeoverHome Edition to help make the train rides available to people using wheelchairs. With $10,000 donated by Sears, work was done to both the station and the cars in 2008. There is now space for up to six wheelchairs.

on a

Fall Day Trip

I

s there any more haunting or evocative sound than a train whistle? Thanks to our region’s rich train history and legions of train enthusiasts and volunteers, the sounds are echoing in the hills. A train excursion is the perfect multi-generational family day trip. October begins a new season for train rides with fall foliage and Halloween trips. They continue into November and December with special Santa and North Pole themed trips. This month’s train adventures involve a drive through country roads and hills ablaze with fall color. Driving to meet your train is a good reminder of how much of our region is quite rural. First train ride on my exploration of the area’s train excursions was the

Arcade & Attica Railroad — the oldest continuously operating railroad under the same corporate identity in New York. It was declared a National Historic Site in 1981 and is marking its 105th anniversary this year. It is very proud of its place in railroad history. The railroad has its origins in the Buffalo, Attica & Arcade Railroad, officially opened in 1880. The rails we were riding on were first spiked down in 1881 and standardized in 1895 to connect with the Pennsylvania Railroad. Trips depart from the train station on Main Street in Arcade for the 14-mile roundtrip run.

Four-year-old Gavin Shelley of Colden came dressed in a train engineer’s hat for his first train ride. The engineer’s hats (for sale in the station gift shop) were popular among the younger set on our excursion.

It is also the only railroad in the state offering steam locomotive passenger excursions. The steam locomotive was out for repairs this season, but train operators are confident it will be back

Train staff like welcoming children on their first train rides. Dean Steffenhagen, 24-year employee, supervisor and engineer, especially enjoys welcoming back returning passengers.

Arcade & Attica Train Station on Main St. in Arcade 40 WNY Family October 2022

Changing Arcade Trains in Curriers


South Dayton Train Station

Children enjoy the wooden train in Curriers at Arcade & Attica train stop

“I have even had four generations of one family on board,” he said. “Many of our passengers first came as children and return with their children or grandchildren.”

were formed in the 70s and 80s, the railroad served as a carrier of freight for the businesses along the line and additionally, provided many passenger excursions over the years.

At the Curriers Depot everyone is invited to leave the train. There is a building where snacks are available as well as shopping for local honey with free samples and local jams and jellies, a small museum, and a wooden train for children to climb aboard. Restrooms are available here, too.

During our trip, Don Rogers, our friendly conductor, invited anyone who wanted to follow him for an adventure. Our small group of about a half dozen followed him

The best part is when the locomotive uncouples from the train, moves onto a siding and stops. Passengers are invited to take a closer look at the engine, take pictures, and talk with the crew as they prepare for the return trip. The next train excursion began in Gowanda, the town with the distinction of being in both Erie and Cattaraugus counties. It is home to the New York & Lake Erie Railroad. This rail line dates to the early 1850s. In fact, on May 14, 1851, the first through train from Piermont-on-Hudson to Dunkirk, NY was run. It carried President Millard Fillmore, U.S. Senators, and the statesman Daniel Webster. Today there is a train car named after Webster.

through the rail cars to the last car where we could watch the winding tracks and experience up close riding through a stone tunnel. The train trips stop in South Dayton, the self-appointed “Movie Capital of Cattaraugus County.” Robert Redford walked the streets of South Dayton for a few weeks in 1983 when The Natural was being filmed in Western New York. The locals were proud to say he was given his space while he was in the village. The baseball and carnival scenes were filmed north of the railroad depot, a farmhouse was used for some scenes and local adults and kids got to be part of history by being extras in the movie. continued on page 42

The line later became part of the giant Erie Railroad and was eventually part of the Conrail system. Today, the railroad is called the “New York & Lake Erie,” a short line railroad formed in 1978. The current line extends less than 50 miles of the former rail line. Like many of the short line railroads that October 2022 WNY Family 41


FAMILY TRAVEL continued...

Working the train signals at Rochester Railroad Museum.

National Railway Historical Society. As membership grew, the group began to collect various artifacts and host excursions on local rail lines that had not seen a passenger train in many years. Ticket booth from the movie “The Natural” in South Dayton station.

Be sure to check out the ticket booth created for the movie on view inside the depot. Other movie memorabilia on display include a framed and signed photograph of Redford. He wrote: “To the folks of South Dayton. Thank you for having us.” John Candy and Steve Martin hung around the train station in South Dayton to film scenes for Planes, Trains and Automobiles in 1987. This railroad offers passenger excursion train rides through the countryside of Cattaraugus County with seasonal, holiday, and sightseeing event trains year-round.

Next up on the train excursion schedule is the Rochester & Genesee Valley Railroad Museum in Rush, about 20 miles south of Rochester. This is a museum with an operating train and calls itself “a museum in motion.” It is an all-volunteer operation with many talented and enthusiastic train fans. It is also home to the state’s largest collection of historic trains and is the largest operating railroad museum in New York. The museum can trace its roots back to 1937 when a group of railroad enthusiasts met to celebrate their inclusion as the sixth new chapter of the

The first piece of historic rail equipment joined the collection in 1956 when Rochester Transit Corp donated a car from its recently closed Rochester Subway. The group needed a permanent home and discovered an abandoned train station at Industry and acquired it from the Erie Lackawanna Railroad for $1 in July 1971. The group began to restore it, and by the end of the 1970s as restoration work on the depot was nearing completion, attention turned to acquiring historic trains to display. One of the first pieces to arrive in 1979 was an old wooden caboose. In 1981, it was joined by a diesel switcher from the Kodak Park Railroad. Over the years the group built a restoration shop giving volunteers space to work year-round to restore and repair the vintage railroad equipment. In 2015, the campus was expanded by opening the Upper Yard to the public and then added an open-air car for the train excursions. Last year the group celebrated their 50th anniversary by renovating Industry Depot. John Redden, a volunteer from nearby Fairport, is carrying on a family tradition with his love of trains. “I grew up in Olean and my father was a big train enthusiast,” he explained. “We both went to South Dayton and the train station there when the movie The Natural was being filmed.”

Rochester & Genesee Valley Railroad Museum Train 42 WNY Family October 2022

The train museum is generally open select weekends April through Decem-


ber. Pumpkin Patch Train Rides are featured this month and there will be Santa trains to the North Pole in December. The Medina Railroad Museum in the village of Medina along the Erie Canal offers another experience for train fans of all ages. A focal exhibit in the museum is one of the largest model train layouts in the country. It is 204 feet long by 14 feet wide. Construction began in 2001 and it is still in progress to this day.

The Medina Railroad Museum features the largest Railroad and Toy Train Museum in New York State.

The layout itself is an interactive timeline, displaying how transportation of goods in Western New York began with the canal in the 1800s and progressed to trains. Visitors can interact with the trains through push button controls. The museum building is the second New York Central Freight House on this location and is one of the longest wooden structures built by New York Central. It was completed in 1905. This month the museum is operating two-hour fall foliage train excursions through the countryside and along the Erie Canal. In November and December there are magical one-hour Polar Express rides to meet Santa — perfect for younger passengers. There is entertainment, hot chocolate and cookies, and each child receives a sleigh bell. Families are encouraged to wear their pajamas! Travel Tip of the Month: For information on the Arcade & Attica Railroad visit www.aarailroad.com or call 585-4923100. For the New York & Lake Erie Railroad visit www. nylerailroad.com or call 716-532-5242. For Rochester Train Rides visit www.rochestertrainrides.com or call 585-5331431. For the Medina Railroad Museum visit www.medinarailroadmuseum.org or call 585-798-6106. Deborah Williams lives in Holland, NY and is a veteran travel writer whose work has appeared in national and international publications. She is the recipient of the Society of American Travel Writers’ Lowell Thomas Gold Travel Writing Award.

Arcade & Attica Railroad Fall Foliage Train Ride OCTOBER 1, 2, 8, 9, 15, 16, 22, 23

(For times, check online or call the office) Come see beautiful hills in Western New York as the leaves change colors! Enjoy a round-trip train excursion during peak times.

Santa’s Wonderland Express NOVEMBER 19, 20, 25, 26, 27 DECEMBER 2, 3, 4, 9, 10, 11, 16, 17, 18 (For times, check online or call the office) The A&A Railroad has revamped its Christmas train! Introducing Santa’s Wonderland Express, where you will be traveling to the “North Pole” to visit Santa Claus, meet his reindeer, mail your wish lists and more! This event is a can’t miss!

The Medina Railroad Museum is one of the largest freight depot museums in the United States.

278 Main St. | Arcade, NY 14009 | 585-492-3100

www.aarailroad.com October 2022 WNY Family 43


W

i k i pedia defines fake news as “a form of news consisting of deliberate disinformation or hoaxes spread via traditional news media (print and broadcast) or online social media.” In the early days of the Internet, fake news spread like wildfires in the form of rumors and hoaxes. These stories went mostly unchecked primarily because there was not an easy way to check their validity. Technology has evolved dramatically since the days of dialup Internet access. Unfortunately, fake news did not disappear like the modems of the mid-90s. There are so many factors that contribute to the spread of misinformation on the modern Internet. The first is the ease in which the average person can create a website, podcast, or post. Second is the level of anonymity people have when posting. Some individuals are emboldened, knowing that their identity is hidden when online. Social media and the algorithms that determine what content is presenting to you in your social media feeds play a huge role as well. The more time you spend looking at news from questionable sources, the more stories from similar sites will be shared with you. All of these have combined to allow for “fake news” to go viral much faster and reach so many more people than before. While Internet hoaxes may seem harmless, the spread of misinformation is quite alarming. It can polarize perceptions and distort people’s ability to make an informed decision. The scary part is that some people do not even know they are being misled. There are several simple strategies you can use to increase your knowledge and limit the spread of misinformation.

rumor, head over to Snopes.com and click the Hot 50 link at the top. The Hot 50 is a list of trending stories on the web. TruthorFiction.com and LeadStories.com are similar to Snopes. They tend to cover stories across a wide variety of genres, and both sites use algorithms to push trending stories to the front page.

RAISING DIGITAL KIDS — by Mike Daugherty

Fact Check.org

FactCheck is like Snopes, but it is hyperfocused on political issues. The site covers topics such as the election, the FDA, Congress, proposed bills, and laws. This site is perfect for digging into the things you hear on TV or read online. FactCheck typically lays out the information in bulleted, easy to digest segments with links to where the data was gleaned from. There are several similar political fact-checking sites on the Internet, such as PolitiFact.com and FullFact.org (UK based). I prefer FactCheck.org for its clean look and feel coupled with the unbiased way in which the information is presented.

The Misinformation Age

44 WNY Family October 2022

Snopes.com

Snopes is one of my most favorite websites. This is the first place I check when I hear about something that seems too outlandish to be true. The team behind Snopes.com has been verifying or debunking hoaxes, rumors, and Internet mischief since 1994. Staffers investigate viral stories that spread through websites, emails, and text messages. The team uses a system of ratings to classify the stories based on their research. There are fourteen ratings ranging from “True,” “False,” “Unproven,” “Misattributed,” and even “Legend.” Along with the rating, readers can see the underlying reasons and any additional information behind the story. For example, I had recently heard that someone predicted Kobe Bryant’s helicopter tragedy in a tweet from 2012. Checking Snopes, I was able to verify that this did, in fact, happen. The site not only had a picture of the tweet in question but had also contacted Twitter and the author of the tweet to verify authenticity. Snopes staffers outlined the evidence in a clear, easy to understand format. The next time someone forwards you a viral email, or you hear a crazy

Newsguard

Sites like the ones mentioned above are fantastic when you’re highly skeptical about something you’ve seen or heard online. The problem is that some false information is presented in such a believable way that you may not even consider the possibility that it is actually fake news. Newsguard is an extension or plugin for your favorite web browser designed to help you spot misleading information. After you install the free software, you will see green, yellow, or red icons next to news-related links on search engines and social media. The rating icons provide you with a rating based on the credibility and transparency of the site. Newsguard states the “rat-


ings signal if a website follows basic journalistic standards or instead has a hidden agenda or knowingly publishes falsehoods or propaganda.” This handy feature resides inside your browser, so it doesn’t slow your computer down. The icons stand out, making it easy to see which sites are trustworthy and which websites should be skipped altogether. Newsguard works on thousands of online media outlets. Sites that are not considered a news outlet may not receive a rating. You can use FactMata. com to check any link on the Internet for general integrity.

Kids Need Help Too

The adults I spoke with about this topic stated that children were much more adept at spotting fake news because they have grown up using technology. This assumption could not be further from the truth. Students are one of the worst groups at detecting fake news. Recent studies have shown that middle and high school students struggled to distinguish the difference between real news stories and paid sponsor branded content. Google is attempting to educate students with their “Be Internet Awesome” curriculum. The website is intended for children ages eight to twelve. Be Internet Awesome teaches students topics such as cyberbullying, spotting misinformation, and personal privacy using a game-based approach. Schools all over the world have begun using this free resource as one way to teach students better habits online. You can have your children play for free by searching for “Be Internet Awesome” in any web browser. Older students can visit the News Literacy Project at Newslit.org for content that is better suited for young adults. NewsLit teaches students how to look for slant in stories, identify misinformation, and question the source behind the information they are reading. Teachers will continue to address this concern in class, but parents should consider having similar conversations at home.

Halloween Vendor Fair

Join us for lots of tricks and treats!

OCTOBER 22, 2022 3pm – 7pm

Edward Saunders Community Center 2777 Bailey Ave., Buffalo

Local Vendors

Raffles

Tricks and Treats

Refreshments

And More!!!

To apply to be a vendor, please contact Marsha @ 716-948-0108

Summary

Fake news is not going away any time soon. There are organizations creating tools that use machine learning and artificial intelligence to scrub the Internet clean of fake news. Opposite of that, other companies are using that same technology to create content that looks all too real. Google “deepfake videos” to see an example of what this technology can do. There is no end in sight. The best way parents can address this is to be aware of misinformation, use trusted sources, and teach children to do the same thing. The website and tools above can help start the conversation. Mike Daugherty is a husband, father of three young children, author, speaker, Google Innovator, and possible Starbucks addict. He is a certified educational technology leader who has served in a variety of roles through his twenty-year career in public education. Currently, Mike is the Director of Technology for the Chagrin Falls Exempted Village School district in Northeast Ohio. As an IT director he has developed creative, well thought out solutions that positively impact teaching and learning. October 2022 WNY Family 45


A Date with Violet, and A Date for Us

B

ack in July, Andrea and I thought we would try something new with Violet and shake things up a bit, as our weekend routine was starting to become predictable in our ever-present battle to shield ourselves from COVID. But, with the three of us being vaccinated, I thought maybe now was a good time to break out of our comfort zone a little more by doing something that, well, made us uncomfortable. We wanted to start introducing Violet to new scenes and environments, especially ones with larger crowds. We were researching toddler-friendly destinations when Andrea came across a place called Explore and More in Buffalo’s downtown Canalside district. Explore and More is a children’s museum with over seven interactive, educational play zones. Some of the exhibits tell a different story of Buffalo, including its history, culture, and what’s happening currently. It was our first time there and up until that point, Violet had never been anywhere quite as crowded. It was a little overwhelming at first, trying to weave through the crowd while giving Violet her freedom to run around and play. I didn’t want to be too overbearing and hold her hand the whole time, but there were also hundreds of people I didn’t want her crashing into. What I was really interested to see was how Violet interacted with the other kids, especially with sharing. Her daycare teachers always give it to me straight whenever I ask, but I wanted to 46 WNY Family October 2022

see it firsthand. And it was pretty much what I expected for a then 23-monthold. She occasionally fussed when a tiny friend would reach for whatever toy or object she was playing with and she belted out a few loud, “NO!’s” whenever approached to share. I give her a B+ for effort. Violet made sure to stop by every exhibit across all three floors, including the Farm to Fork station where she attempted to milk a life-sized plastic cow, and the Delta Sonic car wash exhibit, where she ran through a mock car washing station and hosed down toy trucks. And up on the outdoor rooftop, she taught herself how to ride a tricycle. We were there for a total of 2 ½ hours which seemed to fly by, but also felt like an eternity. We’ll definitely go back, but maybe next year when she’s listening better. Overall, I would say it was a successful trip. And, I will admit that at first, I may have hovered a little too much, but in the end, we all survived each other. About a week before we went to the museum, Andrea planned for us to go to a Buffalo Bison’s game and spend the night at a hotel right up the street from the stadium. She thought it would be good for the two of us to get out of the house and have an evening to ourselves. Between work, parenthood, hours of home updates, etc., we needed a recharge. The day after we brought Violet to Explore and More, my mother-in-law spent the night at our house with Violet,

while we went on our first date in what felt like forever. Before the game started, we went out to dinner at a new vegan restaurant called Strong Hearts, where we took advantage of not having to lift a finger. Being able to sit down and enjoy our dinner without all the prepping, cooking, and cleaning up afterward felt like a luxury. Getting up and walking out was the best part, after paying, of course. After dinner, we went back to the hotel where we just laid in bed for about a few hours before the game started. We tried not to talk about the usual, which was work, home repair ideas, and how busy we always were, opting to just enjoy one another’s company and laugh at a few long-forgotten inside jokes. When it was time to leave, we took a slow twelve-minute walk to the stadium in what was perfect summer weather. We committed to staying for the full 9 innings but skipped out on the fireworks. As much as we were enjoying ourselves, including the Bison’s big win that night, we were tired. The fireworks kicked off as soon as we made it back to our room. When we checked out the following morning, we grabbed coffee and bagels from the café in the lobby and all we could talk about on our way home was how much we missed Violet. Richard De Fino, a freelance writer by night, first became a father at age 34. After losing his first-born son Louis, at birth, he was determined to keep his memory alive the best way he knew how; through words. Now, with the birth of his daughter Violet, he plans on continuing to share his fatherhood journey each month with WNY Family readers.


Family Movie Options: In Theaters and Streaming Online Pinocchio

Disney+

Rating

Overall

Violence

Sex

Profanity

Alcohol/Drugs

PG

C

B

A-

A-

A

When a lonely clockmaker wishes upon a star, the wooden puppet he carved comes to life. The Blue Fairy promises that Pinocchio will be “real” if he proves to be “brave, truthful, and unselfish.” Despite the magical plot elements, this movie lacks enchantment. The technical effects are solid but the story is emotionally hollow and Pinocchio is bland. The movie has plenty of flaws to annoy older viewers and too many scares for little ones. Photo ©Disney+

Ivy & Bean

Netflix

Rating

Overall

Violence

Sex

Profanity

Alcohol/Drugs

TV-G

A

A

A

A

A

Rambunctious Bean is surprised to discover that there’s plenty of fun to be had with Ivy, a tidy bookworm. As the two girls embark on an unexpected adventure they begin an even more unexpected friendship. The film has minimal negative content and high quality writing, making it a win for family audiences. Unlike many kid-focused films, this one shares the wonder, delight, and magic of children’s imaginations. Photo ©Netflix

The Skeleton’s Compass

Online Rental

Rating Unrated

Overall C

Violence B

Sex A

Profanity A

Alcohol/Drugs C

Prolonged unemployment means that Champ’s dad must sell the family home – unless the skeleton and compass Champ discovers in the woods show the way to hidden gold. This story provides time travel adventure mixed with a treasure hunt. Unfortunately, it also features abysmally bad writing, weird editing, poor musical choices, and abundant bad acting. It’s clean but that doesn’t mean it’s a good choice for families looking for a fun story. Photo ©Giant Pictures

Lifemark

Theaters

Rating PG-13

Overall C

Violence B

Sex A

Profanity A

Alcohol/Drugs A

When he turns 18, David is surprised to hear from his birth mother, who wants to meet him. Encouraged by a friend, David agrees. This movie is somewhat disjointed, bouncing between flashbacks of a pregnant teen’s experience and David’s life with his adoptive family. It has a strong proadoption message but its focus on advocacy often overshadows the need for compelling storytelling. Photo © Fathom Events

Look Both Ways

Netflix

Rating

Overall

Violence

Sex

Profanity

Alcohol/Drugs

TV-14

B-

A

C

D

D

One evening, Natalie’s life splits into two tracks: one in which her pregnancy test is negative and she carries on with her post-university career plans and the other in which she has a baby. This film does an excellent job of showing that there are multiple routes for women to follow in leading fulfilling lives. Where it falls down is in negative content, with unnecessary cussing, alcohol and drug use, and non-explicit sexual activity. Photo ©Netflix Detailed reviews available at www.parentpreviews.com October 2022 WNY Family 47


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THE FAMILY PET continued... In addition to a physical exam, the veterinarian will spend a portion of the visit talking about ways to keep your pet healthy. This will address your pet’s records to determine what diagnostic testing is needed, based on your pet’s age, lifestyle, and overall health. These often include: 

Fecal exam (you may have been asked to bring a sample with you) checking for intestinal parasites.

Bloodwork and urinalysis – many diseases that aren’t apparent on a routine physical exam may show up on screening lab work.

Heartworm test

Thyroid hormone levels

Part of your pet’s preventive care involves vaccines. In general, core vaccines universally include a Rabies vaccine and Distemper/Parvovirus combination vaccine for dogs, and a Rabies and Upper Respiratory combination vaccine in cats. Depending on your pet’s lifestyle, your veterinarian may recommend additional vaccines. Dogs with exposure to other dogs often require Bordetella (kennel cough) vaccine. Dogs with potential tick exposure may need Lyme vaccine. Dogs that spend time outside in wet areas or live near rats or wildlife need Leptospirosis vaccines. Cats with exposure to other cats may need a Feline Leukemia vaccine. Dogs and cats are at varying degrees of risk for fleas, ticks, heartworms, intestinal worms, and other parasites based on their age, where they live, and their way of life. Your veterinarian will recommend which medicines are best to protect your pet. After the examination is complete, and your pet has received their vaccines, your vet will discuss any findings. Hopefully this is a clean bill of health, but if not, she will discuss more detailed diagnostics, treatment, and what to do next. The Niagara Frontier Veterinary Society is comprised of more than 75 small animal hospitals and more than 220 practitioners in Erie and Niagara Counties. It exists to advance public awareness and understanding of proper pet health care, veterinary services, and the veterinary profession. 48 WNY Family October 2022


T

he moment my voice emits sound, I can see my twin teens’ eyes glaze over. Sometimes they must register at least one word I said (or maybe it’s just a Pavlovian response) because they use the dreaded eye-roll.

TWEENS & TEENS

Clarify Your Role

— by Cheryl Maguire

Teenagers are more likely to listen and follow your suggestions and requests if you clarify your role. “Explain to your teen that the rules and boundaries you are trying to establish are there to help guide and protect them,” says Dr. Kenneth Ginsburg, a physician at Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia and co-founder of the Center for Parent and Teen Communication (parentandteen. com). “When you clarify your role in this way your teen will more likely understand the purpose behind the rule — big or small.”

As a parent of teenagers, it can feel frustrating when you are speaking only to realize your teen isn’t listening to you. Experts agree it is important to have a strong relationship with your teenager which involves communication. “An important predictor of how well your teen will listen to you is the strength of your relationship with them. The amount of time we spend building our relationship without expectations will increase the likelihood that they will listen,” said Dr. Mona Delahooke, pediatric psychologist, and author of Beyond Behaviors: Using Brain Science and Compassion to Understand and Solve Children’s Behavioral Challenges.

Dr. Ginsburg explained that if your teen doesn’t take an action you’d hoped for, discuss it with them, but make sure you make it about their behavior — not the person.

How To Make Sure Teenagers Hear You

According to the experts, some ways you can make sure teenagers hear you are:

Connect Before You Direct Dr. Laura Markham, clinical psychologist and author of Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids: How to Stop Yelling and Start Connecting, suggested that parents should notice what their teen is doing or find some other way to make a warm connection before speaking to them. She also recommended sitting next to teenagers instead of yelling across the room, “Please clean your room.”

Listen If you want teenagers to listen to you, then you must also listen to them. Make sure when you listen to them that they feel understood. Dr. Jennifer Salerno, nurse practitioner and author of Teen Speak: A guide to understanding and communicating with your teen, said, “It’s all about modeling the behavior that you’d like them to reciprocate. Set-

ting the stage for a positive discussion by actively listening causes them to feel respected and heard.”

Remain Calm Dr. Markham said, “The most important thing is calmness. When you yell, you increase your teen’s stress level and they shut you out and lose the desire to cooperate. Never talk with your teen while you are angry.”

Pay Attention Dr. Delahooke recommended that parents pay attention to their emotional state and body language. She said, “When you sit next to your teen, make sure you are providing a message of trust in them.”

Establish Routines If teenagers have a routine of what they are expected to do every day at that time of day, they are more likely to do it. These routines are also a good time to talk to them and be heard. Dr. Salerno said, “Activities like cooking together, walking the dog, and riding alone in the car are ideal times for an important topic to be discussed.”

Dr. Ginsburg stressed the importance of avoiding nagging. He said, “It’s easy to fall into a cycle of nagging that can lead to frustration on both sides. When teens sense your annoyance, they may become defensive. When you make requests in an accusatory tone, they become ineffective.”

Provide Options If there are chores that teenagers need to do then offer them the option of selecting one of three chores. Dr. Salerno said, “Teens feel respected when they are given options, not directives, which ultimately lowers their resistance.” You can also give them a choice of what time they want to complete the chore. Cheryl Maguire holds a Master of Counseling Psychology degree. She is married and is the mother of twins and a daughter. Her writing has been published in The New York Times, Parents Magazine, Upworthy, Chicken Soup for the Soul: Count Your Blessing and Your Teen Magazine. This article was originally published on “Grown and Flown.” October 2022 WNY Family 49


Empower

Ability Inspire Advocate

Special Needs Potential Thri

Growth Strategies

SUCCESS STORY

Therapy Helps with the Restricted/ Repetitive Behaviors of Autism — by Debbie Schutt, MS, Behavior Intervention Coordinator

A

ny family supporting a child with a diagnosis of autism spectrum disorder (ASD) is likely familiar with restricted/ repetitive behaviors (RRBs). Disturbing or disrupting someone engaged in RRBs may cause immense anxiety and challenging behaviors. RRBs can significantly impair functioning and an adapted exposure therapy can be an effective form of treatment. Anna O, a 7-year-old non-verbal communicator with a diagnosis of autism spectrum disorder, was referred to the Family Behavior Support and Advocacy program with Parent Network. At the time of admission, Anna’s parents reported a variety of challenging behaviors including RRBs. For Anna, there was intense focus on lining up objects in a particular manner. Anna was so fixated on how items were lined up that anyone attempting to engage with Anna amid the ritualized pattern would be met with a variety of challenging behavior that included screaming, aggression, self-injury, crying, and intense anxiety. From the moment I first met Anna, it 50 WNY Family October 2022

was obvious that Anna was “in charge.” Any attempt to intervene when Anna was engaged in RRBs meant that Anna would punch herself or others, bite their hands or arms, scream and cry. Why wouldn’t a parent “give in” when the result may put their child (or others) in harm’s way? For Anna, RRBs are soothing and disturbances to RRBs are stressful. Only Anna knows how they want things lined up and in Anna’s mind, only they can perform the task. This meant that Anna experienced significant challenges with sharing, taking turns, and engaging in reciprocal play. From the outset, it was important for Anna to know they were still “in charge.” Anna got to decide how much engagement and participation they were able to tolerate. This was a crucial step in building trust and rapport. The first few weeks of treatment were focused on getting Anna to tolerate my presence in the home and then when engaged in RRBs. As my presence was increasingly tolerated, I was able to observe Anna’s RRBs in closer proximity and eventually be seated right next to Anna.

This adapted form of exposure therapy was being used as a form of behavior intervention to address Anna’s RRBs — and it appeared to be working! Within a month, Anna not only tolerated my proximity but sought it out. Anna would select items to line up and sit right next to me. The next step was to introduce mirroring. I brought items similar to Anna’s to her home during treatment sessions. Anna and I would sit side by side and each engage with our own objects. I would mirror (or copy) Anna’s RRBs. In less than two weeks Anna was “correcting” my mirroring errors. It was now time to introduce parallel play. During parallel play, I would use the same or similar items while engaging with the items in my preferred manner (as opposed to Anna’s preference). This step was met with some difficulty as Anna struggled with accepting that I would engage with items differently than Anna would prefer. So, we took a step back and introduced a “half-step.” We returned to mirroring, and introduced minor alterations that would be made one at a time (color, size, spacing between objects, etc). This helped Anna to gradually accept minor differences associated with RRBs. Anna and I stayed on this step for a few months prior to reintroducing parallel play. The second attempt at parallel play was met with less anxiety and increased tolerance. Another few months went by, with Anna and I playing next to one another during treatment sessions until one day when Anna offered me one of her items to place in line. This was a sign that Anna was ready for the next level of


exposure — reciprocal play. Gradually, I introduced the concept of reciprocal play. During reciprocal play, there is interaction and engagement between two or more people with the same objects. First, Anna had to learn to tolerate sharing one set of items/objects with me during RRBs. I systematically added my items to Anna’s items so that there was eventually only one set to be lined up. Next, I would let Anna dictate when it was my turn and Anna would select the item that I was permitted to add to the line. Next, Anna would decide when it was my turn, and I would select the item. After this step I introduced a timer and would take a turn every one minute. Week by week, the duration of time between turns decreased by 5 seconds until successfully being able to take turns placing every other item in line. Throughout the process, I worked with Anna’s family so that Anna’s parents and siblings would be able to effectively engage with Anna outside of treatment

sessions while maintaining the level of exposure. After a year of treatment, Anna was able to share and take turns with siblings and parents with minimal verbal prompting and visual cues more than 90% of the time during RRBs. Positive behavioral change was observed in Anna’s interactions with classmates and neighborhood children. Anna experienced significant decreases in her selfinjurious behaviors and anxiety associated with RRB’s. Anna developed coping/calming skills, socialization skills, improved her ability to self-regulate, improved her frustration tolerance, and increased her cognitive flexibility. Anna’s parents started receiving encouraging notes from the school. Anna engaged in reciprocal play with a neighbor!

We take a look at topics important to parents of children with special needs not just in April, but in each and every issue of WNY Family Magazine with our monthly column.

Empower

Ability Inspire Advocate

Special Needs Potential Thri

Growth Strategies

Featuring Topical Editorial Content, Including: • Feeding Challenges – When Does “Picky” Eating Cross the Line? • The Transition from School to Adulthood • Advocacy Skills Can Make A Huge Difference • Yoga Yields Benefits for Kids with Disabilities • Steps in the Special Education Process • The Importance of Keeping Records • Assistive Technology • Accessible Activities in Winter

The 3 keys to effectively implement adapted exposure therapy are to: let the child set the pace, break down RRBs into the smallest possible pieces, and increase the degree of exposure only after the current level of exposure is tolerated. With time and patience, RRBs can be successfully treated. Parent Network of WNY supports families and professionals to empower individuals with disabilities to reach their full potential. For more information visit parentnetworkwny. org or call their Family Support Line at 716-332-4170.

WNY Family Magazine just launched an Instagram page! You’ll find a variety of info, tips, resources & fun stuff that is different from our Facebook and Twitter feeds.

Does your business, agency or organization serve children with special needs in our community?

Their parents are looking for your services all year long. Advertise in conjunction with this informative column and let our readership of nearly 60,000 WNY parents know about your important programs and services each and every month.

For more information, call you Ad Rep directly or call 716-836-3486 ext. 104

Follow Us Today! October 2022 WNY Family 51


they want. Kids want and desire to love their parents and hope that their parents will play the role they are supposed to play. That role consists of providing three important ingredients in a child’s life: safety, security, and love. When parents get the role right, they no longer have to be concerned about gaining a child’s love and respect.

SINGLE PARENTING — by Diane C. Dierks, LMFT, CFLE

The Three Things

Kids REALLY Need

A

single parent friend of mine recently asked me what he thought I should buy his teenage daughter for Christmas since he felt she had everything any teenager could possibly want. I told him that girls of that age have a strong need to know that their fathers think they are beautiful and worthy of love. I said he should buy her a nice, but modest, piece of jewelry she could wear every day. Then when he gave it to her, I suggested that he take her face into his hands and tell her she was the most beautiful woman in his life. I explained that she would remember that moment for a long time and would probably wear the necklace often because it would have special meaning to her. He reported to me later that he had done what I suggested, but went on to say that instead of her being touched and grateful, she protested and pouted because he had not bought her the laptop computer she had requested. He felt dejected, and said he was sure it was because he had “spoiled” her for so long with material goods that she simply could not appreciate a simple, but meaningful, gift. This story is sad, but not uncommon, especially for single parents. For whatever reason — whether it is social 52 WNY Family October 2022

Safety This is more than simply providing a home that is free of dangerous and harmful elements (which should be a given). Providing safety to children also means providing a home environment where opinions and feelings can be shared respectfully and freely without judgment. pressure or guilt about divorce — single parents often get caught in the “keeping up with the Jones’ kids” dilemma and may engage in irrational behaviors, like overindulgence, to prove their so-called love to their children. This is actually a parental integrity issue. In order for parents, whether married or single, to maintain integrity with their kids, they must be what they say they are — parents. Instead, they become something else, like friends, banks, Santa Claus, or keeper of the endlessly growing money tree. None of these roles serve the needs of children and only cause the loss of integrity. When single parents become afraid that their kids may stop loving them if they don’t give them everything their friends have, they are operating out of a false assumption. We lose integrity when we begin to NEED our kids to love us. They don’t exist to love us. We exist to love them.

Too many parents feel threatened if their children don’t think and feel just like they do, which is silly because kids are kids, not adults. They are entitled to think and feel for themselves, which is actually an important mechanism to a child’s healthy development. The ability to think and feel for oneself helps an individual learn good decision-making, which is an invaluable tool in adulthood! Parents do well to hear their children and respectfully challenge their opinions, but should never try to control the way a child thinks and feels. Safety is about a child knowing he or she can come home and be free from the world’s dangers, as well as free from parental criticism that damages their self-worth.

Security

Anyone who gets this concept backwards will lose integrity and what follows next is the loss of respect. Once respect is lost, many other bad behaviors follow. So, it makes sense that single parents should guard against this loss of integrity.

This concept allows children to live as children because they know that mom or dad (or both parents) will be there to perform the adult functions until the children are old enough to venture out on their own. This means that children should not have to be concerned with the household budget, whether or not food can be purchased this week, or if an eviction is pending.

The first step in doing this is to recognize that kids don’t stop loving their parents when they fail to get what

Kids need to know that they simply have permission to be children and that at least one of their parents will keep


them out of the adult world so this can be accomplished. It is a parent’s job to draw the line between the adult world and the child’s world so that kids can experience growth in an age-appropriate environment. Otherwise, they become adults too soon, which has unhealthy consequences later in life.

Love Some researchers refer to this as “warmth.” Although love and warmth are broad and general terms, as far as parenting goes, they are essential to a child’s health and should be unconditional. All people should have someone in their lives that they can say unconditionally loved them as a child. Anyone who cannot say that struggles greatly with their self-worth as adults. Most parents have little trouble with this idea of unconditionally loving their children, but in subtle ways they can sometimes send messages to their kids that love comes at a price. To guard against this, parents need to make

O’Connell & Company presents

sure their kids know that regardless of behavior or attitude, they are loved without question or reservation. To do this, parents need to be careful to punish behaviors lovingly and firmly, but never with disgust or harsh and hurtful words. This can be difficult when children’s behaviors push their parents to experience their own anger. However, as adults, parents should be able to control their own emotions in service of their children’s feelings and sense of self worth. Children who enter adulthood without ever having experienced what they perceive as unconditional love will not only not know how to provide it for their own children, but will have difficulty accepting other kinds of love, dooming them to numerous relationship problems. ›››

Rather than getting caught up in the “keeping up” hamster wheel of materialistic parenting, parents do better to give their children these three fundamental — and free needs. The richness of the love kids will then return to their parents (especially once the children become adults) is more valuable than the most expensive gifts on earth. Try it and see what awesome kids you will raise. Diane C. Dierks is a licensed marriage and family therapist in Atlanta, Georgia. She is co-host of the new podcast, Co-Parent Dilemmas (www.CPDilemmas.com, or wherever you get your podcasts). She is also author of The Co-Parent Toolbox (2014 Aha! Publishing) and Solo Parenting: Raising Strong & Happy Families (1997 Fairview Press).

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ENTRY DEADLINE: Friday, October 14, 2022 YES! Enter Us In “JURASSIC WORLD LIVE” Drawing!

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F

all has always been my favorite time of year. There are so many homey foods to prepare, I’m not sure where to begin (after a summer of no baking!). This month, let’s focus on apples. These versatile fruits are portable, don’t need to be peeled, and are naturally low in calories. They are very versatile — eat them raw, in desserts, salads, or entrees. For family fun, go to one of many local u-pick farms and harvest a bushel. Ask the farmer to give you some tips on picking the best apples. Store in a cool dry place — and make sure not to get any with bruises or spots. It’s true what they say — one bad apple can spoil the whole bunch.

Apple Puffs

Free of: DAIRY*, EGGS*, SOY*, PEANUTS, TREE NUTS, FISH, SHELLFISH, can be GLUTEN free Yield: 8 servings Prep Time: 15 minutes Cook Time: 10-15 minutes 1 package (8) crescent rolls (*use allergen reduced and/or gluten free options) 1 large apple, peeled and diced 1/4 cup brown sugar 1 tablespoon cornstarch Cinnamon or other spices, optional

Preheat oven to 350°. Place crescent rolls on ungreased cookie sheet. Mix apple, sugar, cornstarch, and spices. Place about 1 tablespoon filling in each roll – seal edges. Cut a slit in the top for steam to escape. Sprinkle with cinnamon sugar before baking, (or drizzle with confectioners glaze after baking, while cooling). Bake at 350 for 10-15 minutes, until a light golden brown.

A few tips: 

Properly stored apples can last 3 months or longer.

Check with your local farmer or grocer for current apple varieties and characteristics – some are better for baking (Granny Smith, Jonathan), some for eating (Fuji, Empire, McIntosh), some versatile enough for both.

When baking, mix apple varieties for the best flavors and textures.

1 cup apple = 1 large apple or about 1/2 pound

Cinnamon, molasses, and brown sugar are all complimentary flavors for apples.

A little fresh lemon juice keeps sliced apples from turning brown.

The flavor and texture of apples blends wonderfully with potatoes or sausage – makes a different, tasty (and egg free) breakfast.

For our apple puffs recipe, a popular gluten free/allergy reduced crescent roll option is Mom’s Place brand. Ingredients: WHITE RICE FLOUR, POTATO FLOUR, SUGAR, TAPIOCA FLOUR, ALUMINUM FREE BAKING POWDER , YEAST, XANTHAN GUM, SALT. Find it at https:// bit.ly/3xgpyzp or visit momsplaceglutenfree.com.

54 WNY Family October 2022

Stuffed Apples

Free of: DAIRY, EGGS, SOY, PEANUTS, TREE NUTS, WHEAT, FISH, SHELLFISH, can be GLUTEN free Yield: 4 servings Prep Time: 5-10 minutes Cook Time: 0-40 minutes 4 large apples Uncooked option: Cold salad ingredients – rice salad, fruit salad, or chicken salad (vary to taste) Cooked option (use leftovers for a filling): Sweet potatoes, margarine, cinnamon Yellow potatoes, oil, salt/pepper Sausage, diced potatoes Raisins, brown sugar, dairy/soy free margarine

Clean and dry apples. Cut a thin slice off the bottom so they stand up easily. Cut off the top, scoop out the apple as thin or thick as you like – do not pierce the bottom or ingredients will leak out. Use the apple pieces in recipe, or salad.

For uncooked, use hollowed out apples as a salad bowl – fill with whatever ingredients you have on hand. For cooked, you can use the microwave or the oven. Microwave on high for 4-10 minutes, or bake in a covered casserole dish, with about 1/2” of water (to keep the apple bottoms from burning) at 350 for 30-40 minutes – until apple pierces easily. Microwave and baking time varies depending on how thick the apples are, the amount of filling, and your individual appliance.


THE KIDDIE GOURMET

S

Apple Crisp

Free of: DAIRY, EGGS, SOY, PEANUTS, TREE NUTS, WHEAT*, FISH, SHELLFISH, can be GLUTEN free Yield: 8 servings Prep Time: 10 minutes Cook Time: 25-35 minutes 5-6 large apples, peeled and sliced 1 cup raisins (optional) 1/2 cup water, apple juice, or apple cider 1 cup oats (or 1/2 cup wheat flour* and 1/2 cup oats, or gluten free flour) 1/2 cup brown sugar 1 teaspoon cinnamon or other spices 6 tablespoons cold dairy/soy free margarine Preheat oven to 375°. Place apples in a greased 8 x 8 baking dish. Pour liquid over apples. Mix oats, brown sugar, spices – cut in margarine to make small crumbs. Sprinkle over the apples. Bake for 25-30 minutes, until apples are tender. If you have any questions about our column, e-mail Kathy at allergy@roadrunner.com. For further information about food allergies, contact FARE www.foodallergy.org, or call 1-800-929-4040. Kathy Lundquist is a Western New York parent whose son, now an adult, was born with severe food allergies. Over the last two decades, she has worked tirelessly, in a variety of capacities, to increase community awareness about food allergies.

— by Barbara Blackburn

pecializing in homemade meals, soups, and sandwiches, the Lakeshore Cafe remembers kids, with a special section of menu items. A coupon found in The Buffalo News claims they have exclusive items not found in the local area. The Kids Sandbox offers items ranging from $7.49 to $8.99 (no drink included). These items include 1/2 Grilled Cheese, Sahlen’s Hot Dog, served with fries and a pickle, Three Barbecued Chicken Fingers, Grilled Cheeseburger, and Five Buffalo Wings. A high chair awaits anyone needing it.

Lakeshore Cafe 3255 Lake Shore Rd. Blasdell, NY 14219

716-768-5009

www.lakeshorecafewny.com

~ SPOONS ~ FOOD 4/5 SERVICE 4/5 FAMILY FRIENDLY 4/5

ing out the ribs. The chicken and the shrimp took a back seat to the vegetarian. His preceding homemade soup was our best dish. The yummy, tomatoey Red Pepper Bisque — soup of the day — took the honors for flavor and originality of construction, textured with some healthy morsels. It may have been priced a little less than the regular menu soup, French Onion, which was $4.45 a cup and $5.95 a bowl. I made my decision to order the Hot Fudge Sundae Cheesecake ($7.50) before my main meal. This led the other dessert items: Tiramisu Cake, Reese’s Peanut Butter Pie, and Ice Cream Sundaes. A wise choice it was, and we shared the pleasure.

I ordered the more exclusive items. My Tempura Green Beans ($9.75) paired with another “Shore Starter” to make a meal. They were as good as the description sounded: fresh green beans tempura battered and lightly fried, served, with a spicy ranch dip. The Bacon Wrapped Onion Petals ($11.95) lived up to my expectations of the description: House-made onion petals stuffed with mozzarella wrapped in Applewood smoked bacon, and served with a BBQ sauce. Well, maybe this fussy person would have liked them even better had they been more golden than brown.

Just a few other items of interest would include Italian Beef Sandwich ($15.95) or the Friday Fish specials. These fish specials do justice to the Haddock Filet, served in several styles. Maybe the menu was not quite as extensive as we thought, but the items we chose delighted us. The picture in the ad-coupon had invited us to some tasty treats, on the waterfront.

Street Tacos were Dad’s Choice: Cajun Chicken, Cajun Shrimp, Braised Short Ribs, and Vegetarian (with taco seasoned quinoa). He chose three, leav-

Check out Barbara Blackburn’s blogs at frontierfare.wordpress.com and culinarrations.wordpress.com.

The Lakeshore Cafe is open Monday (often a rarity in restaurants) through Saturday, 11am to 9pm.

October 2022 WNY Family 55


56 WNY Family October 2022