Willamette Week, May 27, 2020 - Volume 46, Issue 31 - "Bring It On Home"

WILLAMETTE WEEK PORTLAND’S NEWSWEEKLY

NEWS: Shemia Fagan's Amazing Comeback.

TINY HOMES: How to Self-Isolate in 100 Square Feet.

MUSIC: Carrie Brownstein Is Watching You. P. 7

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« 2 0 » AW

ESOME MEAL

S FOR TAKEOUT & DELIVERY *RIGHT NO W* Page 9

BRING IT ON HOME

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Willamette Week MAY 27, 2020 wweek.com

FINDINGS ALEX WITTWER

DIALOGUE Last Saturday, bars and restaurants in Clackamas County reopened after two months of quarantine. Clackamas is the first of the three largest Portland-area counties to reopen, entering the first phase on the first day of Memorial Day weekend. That evening, a WW photographer visited Lake Oswego and Oregon City, where patrons reunited at neighborhood dive bars and dined at taquerias with tables spaced 6 feet apart. Here’s what our readers had to say.

HUGS AT THE THIRSTY DUCK IN OREGON CITY, PAGE 8

WHAT WE LEARNED FROM READING THIS WEEK’S PAPER VOL. 46, ISSUE 31.

Beulahland wants to serve beer in

the street. 4 Trial lawyers ran attack ads on Hulu. It didn’t work. 5 You won’t have Sam Adams to kick around anymore. 6 Sen. Shemia Fagan watched election results with Cool Ranch Doritos and Mountain Dew. 7 So many people packed Clackamas County bars last weekend, Milwaukie is making new rules. 8 Gabe Rucker loves tinned sardines so much he got them tattooed on his wrist. 15 The “Oma” of Oma’s Takeaway died from the coronavirus. 15 A local blues club uses some of its regular musicians as food delivery drivers. 20

ON THE COVER: The Sudra’s Peacock Salad, one of 20 awesome takeout meals, photo by Thomas Teal.

A German couple is quarantining inside a 208-square-foot tiny home in Cully. 22 Ben & Jerry’s new non-dairy ice cream flavors are made with sunflower milk . 24 The co-founder of women-owned cannabis company Peak Extracts had to pretend to hire a man to get an inspector to license its production facility. 25 Carrie Brownstein has moved

back to Portland from Los Angeles. 26

Steven Wilber hopes his grandkids play his first comedy album at his funeral. 27 Evil Dead star Bruce Campbell will give away $10,000 in prize money via Zoom next month. 28

OUR MOST TRAFFICKED STORY ONLINE THIS WEEK:

Clackamas County bars and restaurants reopened. We took photos.

Jeff Butterfield via Facebook: “A friend posted a video of cruisers hanging out and parking at Clackamas Promenade. Hundreds gathered, not social distancing, parked side by side. No masks. So glad that I am staying indoors.”

Hamid Shibata Bennett via Facebook: “I just walked by Duffy’s in downtown Milwaukie…not a single mask. I am sure not ready to step back into such crowds.”

Kerry Pedigo via Facebook: “So far, customers have been very patient and nice. Some wear masks, most do not. These are very strange times for us all, and I appreciate the people that thank me over and over for what we do.” @normshift via Twitter: “I’m worried about nutcases in general—they come with and without masks on. Let’s all—especially our leaders and the braying of the more extreme media from all perspectives—stop making the wearing of masks a political choice and less of this horror would happen.”

Rob Rhoads via Facebook: “If you don’t feel

Dr. Know

safe, then stay home. I’m personally not going out around crowds if I can avoid it. Flattening the curve was about preventing the hospitals from being overwhelmed. It was never about wiping out the virus.”

Muriel Lucas via Facebook: “I say this as a laid-off bartender who really misses their job: You can have a cocktail or beer in the safety of your own home, and please do. If you don’t know how to make a cosmo or margarita, there are not many ingredients and it really is not difficult.”

Ken Bookstein via wweek.com: “It’s nice to see our local business communities slowly and carefully returning to life. Hopefully, people will continue to be careful with social distancing.”

Megan Milligan via Facebook: “Going out to restaurants is not worth it at this time. Let’s all show some respect and keep supporting restaurants who can safely do takeout. It’s a pandemic, people, let’s treat it with respect and caution.”

Charles Pranger via Facebook: “We were so close in Oregon. Just a little longer. Have fun for two or three weeks. Because we may have to start all over. Hope not. But if people are not responsible about continuing to social distance while we reopen, then the last two months will have been for nothing.”

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BY MART Y SMITH @martysmithxxx

Since lockdown, I’ve been using Google Earth to take virtual tours of the world. In so doing, I noticed that Multnomah County’s western border is quite odd. Zigzaggy, if that’s a word. Were our founders drunk when they laid it out or what? —Desktop Globe-Trotter

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I’m not sure what it says about humanity that, when we get hold of a tool that allows us to effortlessly inspect literally any spot on the planet, the first thing 99 percent of us do is look at our own house. At least you zoomed out to the county level, Globe-Trotter—I guess that’s something.

I’ve half-noticed this stair-step-like border for years. But now that I think about it, wouldn’t it have been easier to just draw a diagonal line about 2 miles east of Forest Park and call it a day?

Spoiler alert: No. This painfully rectilinear border is a living remnant of the Public Land Survey System dreamed up centuries ago by Thomas Jefferson to bring order to America’s unruly frontier.

Also known as the Township and Range system, the PLSS imposed a grid of 6-mile-square “townships” on pretty much the entire American West.

Each township was subdivided into 36 1-square-mile sections, which were in turn divided into 160-acre quarter sections. That grid of farm fields you see when you’re flying over

the plains (often with circles inside them from center-pivot irrigation systems) is mostly made of quarter sections.

In practice, quarter sections were often further subdivided into “quarter-quarters” of 40 acres, which is why farmers in movies (and maybe even in real life!) are always talking about the “south 40.” This convention is also the origin of the 40 in “40 acres and a mule,” the (broken) promise made to freed slaves during the Civil War. One of the advantages of this system is that it allows you to divvy up land that you haven’t even seen yet—all you need is one set point at the center of the grid. Around here that point was the “Willamette Stone,” a marker up in the West Hills that you can see to this day.

In any case, as you’ve probably guessed by now, the stair-step border just follows the edges of the sections in that area. More importantly, we got through a whole column without mentioning the coronavirus. You’re welcome.

QUESTIONS? Send them to dr.know@wweek.com Willamette Week MAY 27, 2020 wweek.com

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MURMURS

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COVID-19 THREATENS CHARTER REVIEW: When the Portland City Council approved Mayor Ted Wheeler’s 2020-21 budget last week, it OK’d dozens of COVID-caused cuts, including a reduction from $400,000 to $200,000 for a city charter review commission to be empaneled later this year. Reformers hope the group will propose changes in Portland’s commission form of government, including expanding the number of council members and shifting bureau management from elected officials to professional managers.

That’s a heavy, expensive lift and could be harder to accomplish with a 50 percent budget cut. Wheeler’s spokeswoman Eileen Park says the panel’s work won’t be affected.

“We chose to do the work with existing staff rather than hiring a new person, not because we’ve reduced the overall resource commitment to the process,” Park says. “The timeline and scope of work are unchanged.”

OUTBREAK HITS VANCOUVER BERRY PROCESSOR: A Vancouver, Wash., frozen berry processing plant announced May 26 that 84 people, including 69 employees and 15 of their close contacts, have tested positive for the coronavirus in what has become one of the largest outbreaks at a food processing plant on the West Coast. Firestone Pacific Foods shut down operations of its berry facility May 19, Clark County health officials said in a press release. Facilitywide testing began three days later, on May 22. “These cases may have gone undetected and potentially exposed others had we not facilitated testing of all employees,” Dr. Alan Melnick, the county health officer, said in a press release. Washington state health officials have paused the reopening of Clark County, across the Columbia River from Portland, until the outbreak is contained.

ROCKY BURNSIDE

UNREST AT THE EMPLOYMENT DEPARTMENT: The Oregon Employment Department has been overwhelmed by claims from nearly 400,000 Oregonians who filed for unemployment benefits because of COVID-19. Many claimants report they can’t reach the agency or get benefits. In written testimony to the House Business and Labor Committee on May 27, ODE claims adjudicator Adam Lane blamed agency management. “The department’s refusal to permit telework has been disastrous,” Lane said.

“The work my colleagues and I do can absolutely be done from home, and the department has essentially conceded as such—but they still refuse to allow it. All of the department’s representations as to why telework is not possible have been misleading or factually inaccurate.”

Lane’s boss is expected to answer committee questions May 27. An agency spokesperson didn’t respond to a request for comment.

NATURE IS HEALING

TRAFFIC CONTINUES BOUNCING BACK: The Oregon Department of Transportation’s weekly snapshot of traffic shows motorists steadily creeping back onto state highways. Data from the first three days of the past week showed a small uptick, leaving traffic overall down just 22 percent from a year earlier (the low point was a 43 percent decline the first week of April).

Traffic on U.S. 97, which feeds Bend, one of the first large Oregon cities to reopen, is down just 8 percent from a year earlier.

WHY DON’T WE DRINK IT IN THE ROAD? A plan to turn Portland streets into dining and shopping plazas is gaining traction—both at City Hall and in neighborhoods. The idea is simple: If COVID-19 is spread most virulently in close quarters and Portland restaurants are imperiled by shutdowns, why not move dining rooms outdoors during the summer months (“Outward Bound,” WW, May 6, 2020)? Commissioner Chloe Eudaly and city transportation officials have made detailed plans to remove traffic lanes to create room on the blacktop for restaurant takeout service, outdoor dining, shopping and even barber chairs. Meanwhile, Sunnyside neighborhood resident Zach Katz is shopping a plan to close several blocks of Northeast and Southeast 28th Avenue in Kerns, and Southeast Belmont Street in Sunnyside, to create “Portland promenades.” His backers include bars like Circa 33 and Beulahland, which appear eager to serve pints on the pavement.

M O T O YA N A K A M U R A

NEWS

WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS WEEK

TURNOUT TURNED UP: Multnomah County elections workers had plenty of ballots to sort.

RESULTS

Off the Trail

What patterns emerged from a socially distant election.

The May 19 election was unprecedented and eerie.

Election workers sorted ballots in masks. Candidates celebrated via Zoom parties, if at all. With few events to attend, political gossips spent much of the night joking about the vote in Baker City, Ore., to sell a surplus town backhoe. But then they got to sorting through the results and spotting patterns. Here’s what they pointed out to us.

Turnout exceeded expectations.

Voter turnout typically hinges on presidential primaries.

The race for the Democratic nomination was a sleepy affair by the time it reached Oregon. Yet voters mailed in their ballots anyway. “Turnout was quite high,” says pollster John Horvick of Portland firm DHM Research. “Partisans turned out more than expected.”

More than 42 percent of all adult Oregonians who could vote did. That’s the same number as in 2008, when Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama were battling, or in 2016, when Bernie Sanders had yet to concede to Clinton.

It could be that voters had more time on their hands. It is probably a testament to Oregon’s voter enfranchisement campaigns—from automatically registering drivers at the DMV to vote to offering free postage on ballots. RACHEL MONAHAN. Public campaign financing created a tighter mayor’s race.

Portland returned to publicly financing candidates for the first time since 2010. One result? Taxpayer dollars made the mayor’s race competitive.

Mayor Ted Wheeler, seeking to break the city’s streak of one-term mayors, sought reelection. Four years ago, Wheeler easily captured the 50 percent plus 1 required to avert a November runoff, winning 55 percent of the vote in a field of 15 candidates.

But this time, his share of the primary vote was 49.29 percent, just missing the mark, despite the advantage an incumbent usually enjoys. Sarah Iannarone pushed him to a November runoff.

Iannarone was the one contestant in the mayor’s race to sign up for the public financing program, which matches contributions of $50 or less by 6 to 1. (The total cost this election: $1.8 million.) She received $330,892 in public

financing—more than any other candidate in the program because she received the most small donations. She won 23.8 percent of the vote—far less than Wheeler but enough to force a runoff, and double the nearly 12 percent she got last time.

Iannarone’s campaign manager Gregory McKelvey disputed the idea that public financing buoyed her bid. “I believe the impact of public financing is not that everyone who qualifies becomes competitive,” he says, “but rather, anyone who qualifies is then free to hear from workingclass Portlanders rather than spending the bulk of their time speaking with the extremely wealthy.”

If public financing propelled a leftist mayoral candidate to the general election, it had the opposite effect in the race for a Portland City Council seat in which nine

Turnout Among Eligible Voters in Oregon Presidential Year Primaries 42%

42%

42%

33%

27%

2004

2008

2012

2016

2020

Source: DHM Research

candidates received public funding. That created a crowd of candidates seeking the progressive lane, including Tara Hurst, Julia DeGraw and Margot Black. None broke 15 percent.

The return of public financing didn’t get complete buy-in. Wheeler didn’t participate and relied on bigmoney donors. (In future, campaign contribution limits approved by voters in 2016 are likely to be in place, giving

all candidates an incentive to participate in the public funding system.) And supporters of former Mayor Sam Adams’ bid for the City Council evaded the caps—even though Adams participated in the program. Adams’ supporters spent more than $100,000 on independent expenditures to support his candidacy. It didn’t work: Adams finished third, out of a November runoff. RACHEL MONAHAN. Candidates of color triumphed.

Environmental justice organizer Khanh Pham will be the first Vietnamese candidate to win a seat in the Oregon Legislature. (She won the Democratic nomination in House District 46, and no Republican is on the ballot in November.) Latino Network president Carmen Rubio became the first Latinx candidate elected to the Portland City Council. In all, 16 candidates of color secured party nominations for seats in the Legislature, which has nine lawmakers in its POC Caucus now.

By next January, the City Council could be majority minority, thanks to unexpected victories by black candidates: former Multnomah County Commissioner Loretta Smith and neighborhood association favorite Mingus Mapps. Those upsets could create new dynamics in Portland politics. Smith and Mapps are widely seen as more conservative than their respective opponents, Dan Ryan and Commissioner Chloe Eudaly. AARON MESH. Aggressive progressives struggled.

Organized labor continues to be the dominant force in Oregon Democratic politics, and unions triumphed in May 19’s marquee race: the Democratic primary for secretary of state (see page 7). But labor also lost two key Portland House seats—both won by doctors, Lisa Reynolds and Maxine Watkins—and spent heavily on City Council candidate Sam Adams, only to see him lose.

SEIU Local 503 Executive Director Melissa Unger saw “a successful night overall,” noting only three of 32 candidates her union endorsed lost.

But public employee unions also failed to unseat two Portland lawmakers, state Rep. Rob Nosse and Sen. Ginny Burdick, who voted for cuts to retirement benefits.

Another group, the Democratic Socialists of America’s Portland chapter, saw two candidates it had backed fail to make much of a dent: Paige Kreisman (who lost to Nosse) and Albert Lee (who lost to U.S. Rep. Earl Blumenauer).

NIGEL JAQUISS. So did the legal establishment.

Multnomah County district attorney candidate Ethan Knight, an assistant U.S. attorney, received a combined $45,000 from the Multnomah County District Attorneys Association and the Portland Police Association, and another $8,500 from current District Attorney Rod Underhill’s PAC. But Knight was crushed: Reform candidate Mike Schmidt won nearly three-quarters of votes.

And in Wasco County, incumbent District Attorney Eric Nisley lost to Matthew Ellis, a criminal defense lawyer.

Trial lawyers got creamed, too. The Oregon Trial Lawyers Association gave member Christina Stephenson a $29,000 contribution—more than it gave any other candidate—in the Democratic race for House District 33. Dr. Maxine Dexter won 39.6 percent of the vote; Stephenson got 28.4 percent. The association also gave $5,000 to Laurie Wimmer in the District 36 Democratic primary and $1,500 to the No Fake Democrats Committee.

That PAC attacked District 36 candidate Dr. Lisa Reynolds with ads—running on streaming platform Hulu, among other places—for being a contributor to Republican congressional candidate Knute Buehler, husband of Reynolds’ childhood best friend. Reynolds won anyway.

Dexter’s and Reynolds’ victories over the trial lawyersupported candidates are significant because doctors and lawyers often battle ferociously over medical liability in the Legislature—and that will be a hot-button issue amid COVID-19 deaths. TESS RISKI. Willamette Week MAY 27, 2020 wweek.com

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ACCOUNTING

LINEUP

Political Graveyard

Cost Per Vote

These four familiar names may have run their last races.

Some candidates paid a lot to get a little on election day.

On May 19, some candidates who did not win did distinguish themselves in a different way: by how much they spent to lose. Here’s a breakdown of the candidates who spent the most and got the least in Portland-area races.

NIGEL JAQUISS. LEGISLATURE Rob Fullmer, House District 36 (Northwest Portland) Amount spent: $132,000 Votes received: 2,232 Cost per vote: $59 Fullmer, an MIT-educated rocket scientist who works at Portland State University, personally contributed $67,000 to his campaign, about half the money he raised. He came in third behind Dr. Lisa Reynolds and Oregon Education Association lobbyist Laurie Wimmer. A member of Service Employees International Union, Fullmer not only spent more per vote than any other legislative candidate this cycle, he split the progressive vote, arguably allowing Reynolds—the most centrist Democrat in the contest—to win.

GOODBYE TO ALL THAT: Adams, Buehler, Chase and Cogen may be history.

Politicians want to make history—not be history. But May 19 proved a Waterloo for four of Oregon’s establishment figures, all white men in their 50s who have previously enjoyed ballot success. Two of them sought redemption from scandal, another tried to rebound from a costly loss, and the last looked to graduate from obscurity into the big time. All endured painful nights. While politics is a game of comebacks, it’s hard to see these candidates returning from the trouncing they took last week. NIGEL JAQUISS. Sam Adams: Once the golden boy of Portland politics who won a City Council seat in 2004 and was elected mayor in 2008, Adams saw his prospects disintegrate in a series of scandals focused on his personal behavior. He sought a comeback against Commissioner Chloe Eudaly.

Despite high name recognition, a slew of endorsements and contributions, and a $105,000 independent expenditure campaign by union pals, Adams placed a surprising third behind Eudaly and newcomer Mingus Mapps.

Jeff Cogen: Like Adams, the former Multnomah County chair sought a comeback from scandal—he resigned in 2013 following an affair with a subordinate. Once on the

shortlist to be the next mayor of Portland, Cogen performed extraordinarily poorly on election night, winning just 9 percent of the vote against newcomer Khanh Pham in Oregon House District 46.

Knute Buehler: A Rhodes scholar, orthopedic surgeon and former Oregon State baseball player, Buehler twice won statewide GOP nominations and twice won a House seat in a blue Bend district. But he tacked so far to the middle as the Republican nominee in the 2018 governor’s race his claims to be a conservative in the four-way GOP race to replace U.S. Rep. Greg Walden (R-Ore.) in the 2nd Congressional District seemed like a parody. Real conservatives punished him, handing the race to former state Sen. Cliff Bentz (R-Ontario).

Sam Chase: With 25 years’ experience as a high-level staffer to Gov. John Kitzhaber and City Commissioners Gretchen Kafoury, Erik Sten and Nick Fish, as well as topshelf nonprofit work and two terms as a Metro councilor, Chase should have been formidable in the race to succeed Fish. He finished fifth.

CONTRIBUTION OF THE WEEK HOW MUCH: $15,000 (in-kind) WHO GOT IT? Mingus Mapps, a former political science professor and onetime employee of the city’s Office of Community and Civic Life, who was an outsider candidate challenging City Commissioner Chloe Eudaly. He edged out former Mayor Sam Adams in the primary to finish second. He faces Eudaly in the fall.

WHO GAVE IT? The city’s police union, through its political action committee, Keep Portland Safe PAC. WHY IS IT INTERESTING? In a town where Democrats overwhelmingly outnumber Republicans, and support for police reform is often expected of city candidates, a police 6

Willamette Week MAY 27, 2020 wweek.com

PORTLAND CITY COUNCIL, PUBLIC FUNDING James Davis, City Council Position 2 Amount spent: $54,285 Votes received: 1,801 Cost per vote: $30 Davis, a wellness center operator, was one of 16 candidates who qualified for public funding. He ran for the City Council Position 2 slot, seeking to replace the late Commissioner Nick Fish, on a platform of climate action and scrapping Portland’s commission form of government. Davis fared the worst of all publicly funded candidates (getting 0.88 percent of the vote).

PORTLAND CITY COUNCIL, PRIVATE FUNDING Jack Kerfoot, City Council Position 2 Amount spent: $175,000 Votes received: 7,018 Cost per vote: $25 Kerfoot, a retired energy consultant, switched from challenging Commissioner Chloe Eudaly in Position 4 to running to replace the late Commissioner Nick Fish in Position 2. The tactical shift didn’t make any difference.

Kerfoot spent $175,000, almost all of it his own money, to get 3.45 percent of the vote.

union endorsement can be a liability. The contribution was reported May 11, too late to receive much scrutiny in advance of the primary election.

WHAT DOES THE CAMPAIGN SAY? Mapps says the contribution spoke to his past work, including as a supervisor for the city’s crime prevention program. “In my experience, the most effective way to build safer, more livable neighborhoods is to bring Portlanders and the public safety community together,” he said. “As a black man, I understand the skepticism and fear many people have of the police. I am running for office to change that dynamic before my black children grow up to be black men.”

RACHEL MONAHAN.

NEWS MICK HANGLAND-SKILL

Never in Doubt

The Democratic race for secretary of state gave voters— and candidates—48 hours to remember.

BY NIG E L JAQ UI SS

njaquiss@wweek.com

At 7:55 on election night, state Sen. Shemia Fagan (D-Portland) put down her phone and went for a 15-minute walk around her neighborhood in Happy Valley.

A veteran of four previous contested races, Fagan, 38, decided to clear her mind before the onslaught of results that would pour into the Oregon Elections Division’s online vote tabulation system.

Fagan was at the top of the ticket, running for the Democratic nomination for secretary of state against her caucus colleague Sen. Mark Hass (D-Beaverton) and Jamie McLeod-Skinner, a lawyer and natural resources consultant from Terrebonne.

Fagan returned from her walk at 8:10 and looked at the first results. They showed Hass, 63, nearly 10,000 votes ahead of her, with McLeod-Skinner well behind.

“I was surprised to be down,” Fagan recalls. “I had been phone banking nine hours a day for the past week, and the response was really positive.”

Normally on election night, candidates gather in downtown hotels with family and close friends, and eventually make their way to the ballrooms where press and political junkies await.

On this election night, COVID -19 foreclosed such gatherings. Fagan sat alone in her home with just her computer and a spread of junk food—a respite from the healthy diet she’d maintained during the campaign.

“I shopped like a 12-year-old girl who just got her allowance,” she says. There were Cool Ranch Doritos, Crunchy Cheetos, Hot Tamales, assorted chocolates— and plenty of Mountain Dew. “That’s my guilty pleasure,” Fagan says.

What Fagan watched with her Doritos was what Len Bergstein, a veteran Democratic lobbyist, says was the most interesting Oregon result he can recall since a three-way Democratic primary for governor that Bob Straub won narrowly in 1974.

The bizarre, unreal and long-distance way the race unfolded perhaps disguised the consequences of the result. Oregon will redraw its legislative and congressional boundaries next year—including probably adding a sixth congressional district. If the Legislature cannot agree on the new lines, the secretary of state draws them. Second, the secretary of state automatically steps in should Gov. Kate Brown leave office for, say, a job in a Biden administration. The secretary is in a prime position to run for governor in 2022 if Brown serves her full term.

The contest between Fagan and Hass tested the might of progressive Oregon, including public employee unions and interest groups such as Planned Parenthood, against the entrenched power structure of business-friendly moderates, a legacy of Gov. John Kitzhaber. (McLeodSkinner, a good-government Bernie Sanders acolyte, was the odd candidate out.)

It is a sign of where Oregon is politically that the real election battles are not between Democrats and Republicans, but between public employee-backed candidates and their fellow Democrats.

The results captivated political Oregon for 48

CONTESTED RACER: While many Democrats often run unopposed, Shemia Fagan previously won contested races for school board, the Oregon House and the Senate.

hours. The state’s largest newspaper and a leading television news station called the race incorrectly. Fagan congratulated Hass for a victory he never actually won, and she nearly keeled over when, once ahead, Fagan saw an official report that she was behind.

Interviews with both candidates and their supporters reveal a contest that will long be remembered as befitting the topsy-turvy era in which it was held.

At about 10:15 Tuesday night, Fagan called Hass to congratulate him on his victory. “After KGW called it, I said I better call Mark,” she recalls. “I was sad, but he and I have always gotten along.”

Hass missed the call and it went to voicemail.

“Her message was very kind,” he says. “She said, ‘Congratulations and I look forward to working together,’” Hass says. “But I knew it was premature.”

Hass, his wife, Tamra, his campaign manager, Nick Salter, and a couple of friends borrowed the empty dining room at Noble Rot. A half-dozen people sat 6 feet apart in the shuttered lower East Burnside restaurant and wine bar owned by supporters. The kitchen was closed, so Hass schlepped in three large Pizzicato pies, and his crew washed them down with Oregon pinot noir.

From the dining room, Noble Rot offers a commanding view of downtown, but Hass only had eyes for his computer screen. Around 9:30 pm, The Oregonian called the race for Hass. KGW followed soon after. Hass, a veteran of nearly 20 years in Salem and a longtime TV news reporter before that, wasn’t convinced.

“None of us felt like it was a done deal,” he says. “That

was difficult. People were calling with congrats, and I kept texting back, ‘Whoa, Nellie.’”

He drove home to Beaverton at about 11:30 pm. Fagan stayed at her computer until 1:30 am. “I was thinking I’d probably lost, but hope springs eternal,” she says.

By morning, the gap had closed from nearly 2 percentage points to little more than half a point.

Hass, chairman of the Senate Finance Committee, had to preside over the 9 am release of the quarterly state revenue forecast, which showed a disastrous COVID 19-induced shortfall of $2.7 billion.

As officials sketched out a dismal budget reality, Hass felt his mind wandering to the race. “It was difficult,” he says, “because I knew what might be coming.”

He’s referring to get-out-the-vote efforts that often lift union-backed candidates in statewide elections.

In the 2002 governor’s race, Democrat Ted Kulongoski went to bed on election night trailing Republican Kevin Mannix. In 2008, Democrat Jeff Merkley went to bed trailing Republican Gordon Smith for the U.S. Senate. And in 2010, Democrat John Kitzhaber trailed Republican Chris Dudley for governor. But in each case, late votes pushed the Democrat to victory.

This time, both the leading candidates were Democrats. But the phenomenon was the same.

Joe Baessler, political director of American Federation of State, County and Municipal Employees Council 75, says it’s a matter of mobilizing thousands of volunteers and judiciously analyzing the voter file to CONT. on page 8 Willamette Week MAY 27, 2020 wweek.com

7

NEWS COURTESY OF MARK HASS

Back in Clack

RUNNER-UP: Mark Hass’ life resumed Thursday afternoon: “I mowed the lawn, cleaned the garage and got back to normal things.”

see who hasn’t yet voted. Progressive groups led by public employee union members made 500,000 phone calls and sent 200,000 text messages on Fagan’s behalf, in addition to a barrage of mail and television advertising.

Fagan says people underestimate how important such outreach is. “The part the media misses is how much [organized] labor shows up as volunteers,” she says.

One of the places they showed up: Lane County. Even in the first batch of votes, when Hass was well ahead, Lane showed as a beacon of strength for Fagan.

Oregon Labor Commissioner Val Hoyle, who represented Eugene in the Legislature, says Fagan scored a key endorsement there from Eugene Weekly and benefited from a massive push from both public employee and trade unions.

“I don’t think Mark had name recognition down here and Jamie didn’t have the outreach,” Hoyle says. “And we [labor] have a much better machine for getting out the vote.”

But as confident as Hoyle was (she gave Fagan $5,000 from her PAC), she also believed the calls by The Oregonian and KGW. “I texted Mark at 10:14 on election night to congratulate him,” she says.

And Baessler? He had spent election night in his 5-year-old son’s bedroom with a blanket over his head. He always stays until his son is asleep, so that night he hid under the blanket to block the light from his smartphone, madly refreshing the Elections Division results page.

“The page wouldn’t load, and then when it did, it was a little soul-crushing,” Baessler says.

On Wednesday morning, Fagan began mentally moving on. She emailed the law firm where she works and let it know she’d be ready to work full time in June. To unwind, she watched a couple of episodes from Season 3 of Riverdale, but she couldn’t stay away from her computer. After a Zoom call with her campaign team, Fagan focused on a spreadsheet that showed the late vote was breaking hard for her.

She put the numbers into her own spreadsheet and ran a projection based on 8

Willamette Week MAY 27, 2020 wweek.com

Wednesday reports from county elections offices. “I was like, holy shit, I’m going to win this thing.” It was 2:42 pm.

The numbers in Multnomah and Clackamas counties had turned sharply in her direction, eroding Hass’ early lead. His advantage was down to 2,300 votes.

Hass, meanwhile, was exhausted. He’d gone to his campaign manager’s office in Northwest Portland, but by midafternoon, he went home. At 5 pm, Fagan took the lead by 1,000 votes.

The Oregonian phoned her Wednesday night to tell her the paper was switching its prediction and declaring her the winner. “When [Oregonian executive editor] Therese Bottomly called me later to apologize, she said, ‘We’ve never seen that kind of shift in the numbers before,’” Fagan says.

Thursday was more of the same—except a brief, breathtaking reversal when Yamhill County’s updated count that morning seemed to swing the race back to Hass.

“My heart jumped and it stayed there all day,” Fagan says.

Her supporters also panicked when the Elections Division briefly showed Hass ahead by 28,000 votes. “My Catholicism kicked in. I thought it was entirely my fault for being so happy,” Baessler says. “Then our numbers guy told us there just aren’t that many Democratic voters in Yamhill County.”

Elections officials corrected the erroneous report and the trend continued: Fagan increased her lead Thursday as county clerks added late votes to their tallies. It was over.

“Mark called me to concede,” Fagan says. “He was funny—he said, ‘I’m responding to your voicemail of Tuesday evening.’”

Now, of course, the result was different. Hass and Fagan were scheduled to be on a Senate caucus Zoom call at noon on Thursday. Hass asked Fagan if he could break the news to their colleagues that the race was over.

After the caucus call, Fagan checked in with her team and turned off her phone. “I just laid down on the floor and played with my kids,” she says. “And that’s about all I did for the next three days.”

ALEX WITTWER

Clackamas County reopened dine-in services at restaurants and bars May 23, creating an imbalance and a temptation: open barrooms across the county line from Multnomah County, which remains locked down. Already, city governments in Clackamas County are trying to reconfigure guidelines to ensure social distancing is followed. “The restaurants that chose to open were really busy,” Milwaukie Mayor Mark Gamba tells WW. “Some of them were working really hard at social distancing, and others were utterly failing at it.”

The Milwaukee City Council is crafting new rules. Gamba cited one example: requiring restaurants to keep two-thirds of seating empty. He says guidelines should be solidified by Thursday, May 28. “We’re experimenting. The whole country is experimenting,” Gamba says, adding he suspects a portion of Clackamas County’s weekend crowds were from Portland. State Rep. Karin Power (D-Milwaukie) says she worries people will be eager to get back to socializing, especially those who don’t know anyone diagnosed with COVID-19. “I think it’s going to be hard for people to conceptualize the disease when no one they know has gotten sick from it,” Power says. “If people are still getting together in large groups, then that risk is going to continue.” Our photographer visited Milwaukie, Lake Oswego and Oregon City on May 23. These photos show the first gatherings in two months. TESS RISKI.

THOMAS TEAL

BRING IT ON HOME

T

he Portland food scene is down, but certainly not out. Rather, it’s out for delivery.

That’s not to minimize the damage the coronavirus has wrought on the restaurant industry. A report by the National Restaurant Association in late April found that 81 percent of Oregon service industry workers have lost their jobs due to the pandemic. The list of permanent closures grows every day, and many restaurateurs say the state’s conditions for reopening do not guarantee survival.

It’s a dark time. But signs of hope exist—and you can find them inside a to-go box.

While dining rooms in Multnomah County remain closed, many restaurants have pivoted to delivery and takeout models to stay alive. It was a quick transition for some, and a drastic shift for others.

In this issue, we highlight 20 of the most delicious meals in Portland you can either pick up or get brought straight to your doorstep. It’s a broad and diverse list, running from doughnuts that eat like full meals to sorbettos that taste more like fruit than fruit itself. There are vegan salads and lobster rolls, shawarma fries and meaty Thai soups, do-it-yourself Russian dumplings and a hella good burrito.

Admittedly, the list does not represent everything out there worth ordering—we’d be riding out the rest of this pandemic in a collective food coma if it did—but each item illustrates the resiliency of the city’s chefs and business owners, who in the face of an unprecedented crisis have resolved to keep feeding the city.

At the very least, it should give you an idea of what to order tonight. Please do, and remember to tip big.

—Matthew Singer, Arts & Culture Editor CONT. on page 10

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9

, Bernstein s Bagels

Bernstein’s Bagels ($2, schmear and add-ons extra)

In little more than three years, Noah Bernstein went from former saxophonist for soft-R&B wunderkinds Shy Girls to one of Portland’s best bagelmakers. The closure of Bernstein’s Bagels’ original shop last year sent waves of anguish through St. Johns, but the kitchen on North Russell Street remains operational during the pandemic.

Any of its flavors of hand-rolled boiled bagels is worth ordering, and same with its creative schmears, but the Mama Lil’s, made with the titular hot pepper, receives the highest recommendation. MATTHEW SINGER. Takeout and delivery: bernsteinsbagels.com. 10 am-noon for pickup, delivery on 8:30 am-noon Saturday-Sunday within 5 miles of the shop. Begins accepting orders 9 am Tuesday.

HunnyMilk

Flying Fish

HunnyMilk’s Monte Cristo-Nut ($10)

Flying Fish’s Fish Sandwich ($18)

Brandon Weeks is a big fan of fried dough. Before opening his brunch restaurant HunnyMilk in downtown Portland, he planned to do an ice cream and doughnut shop. And now, in the wake of COVID-19, he’s transitioned to a Sunday-only to-go menu of what you might call “composed doughnuts.” The savory Monte CristoNut is a pseudo-fritter topped with “manchego fondue,” green pepper marmalade and smoky ham from Tails and Trotters, julienned and flash-fried. It’s as over the top as you’d expect from someone who’s also done a “wake and bake” brunch. JASON COHEN. Takeout: instagram.com/hunnymilkpdx.

8 am-1 pm Friday-Sunday.

The dressing,s citrus is so bright it will leave you vibrating like the first sunny day in spring.

The Sudra The Sudra’s Peacock Salad ($13) Just about all of this popular vegan spot’s Indian-influenced bowls make for ideal takeout, but this crisp, hearty salad is an ideal reprieve if you’ve been living out of your pantry during quarantine or in a rut of pizza and greasy noodles. It’s more nourishing but just as satisfying: crunchy kale smothered in rich tahini dressing and topped with juicy soy curls.

SHANNON GORMLEY. Takeout and delivery: thesudra.com, Caviar, Grubhub, Cascadian Courier Collective. 11 am-9 pm Sunday-Friday.

Top Burmese

10

Willamette Week MAY 27, 2020 wweek.com

Inspiration for Lyf Gildersleeve’s hearty stack of steelhead and housemade slaw sprang from a collection of fish shacks on the opposite side of the country. The fish is prepped simply, with just a dash of salt before hitting the griddle. The result is a moist yet flaky center for the sandwich and a crispy, blackened exterior. It’s topped with a green confetti of slightly sweet cabbage and earthy kale doused in a piquant marinade of lime, jalapeño, cilantro and Arbequina olive oil. The dressing’s citrus is so bright it will leave you vibrating like the first sunny day in spring. ANDI PREWITT. Takeout: flyingfishportland.com. 10 am-7 pm Wednesday-Monday.

St. Jack

Top Burmese’s Samosas ($7.50 for five)

Having launched with a takeout-or-delivery-only format, Top Burmese seemed well prepared to ride out the pandemic. But co-owner Kevin Myint couldn’t help but wonder if the plump golden triangles of pastry would deflate into soggy piles of dough while boxed up for unknown periods of time in a delivery driver’s car. He can rest easy. The samosas arrive light and fluffy and shatter into countless crispy shards in your mouth. The spring roll wrappers, which come so neatly folded it almost looks as if somebody accidentally dropped paper footballs into a fryer, are the perfect pouch for what’s essentially a bite-sized vegan shepherd’s pie. ANDI PREWITT. Takeout and delivery: topburmese.com, Caviar, DoorDash, Grubhub, Uber Eats. Lunch 11 am-2 pm, dinner 5-9 pm daily.

St. Jack’s Burger & Fries ($14)

Aaron Barnett’s baby gained acclaim for its rich and hearty French country-style classics as interpreted through the eyes of a Canadian living in the Pacific Northwest—but he always kept a bar burger on the menu. Now, it’s the go-to offering on St. Jack’s to-go menu. It’s a big, sloppy, won’t-fit-in-your-mouth, juicerunning-down-your-arms kind of burger. Two thick beef patties, copious amounts of gooey American and cheddar, bacon, iceberg, onion and “St. Jack sauce”—a highbrow-lowbrow mashup of classic French gribiche and Alabama white BBQ sauce—on a brioche bun.

Plus, the proverbial burger wingman: crunchy, creamy fries bolstered with a hit of gremolata, sided with aioli.

(Please, no ketchup.) Not as good as at a table, but not bad at all from a box. MICHAEL C. ZUSMAN. Takeout: stjackpdx.com. 3-8 pm daily.

Malka

Aviv

Oma’s Takeaway’s Omazing Burger ($15)

Malka’s Important Helmet for Outer Space ($16)

Aviv’s Shawarma Fries ($13)

Half the allure of Thomas and Mariah Pisha-Duffly’s James Beard-nominated Indonesian spot Gado Gado is the scattershot nature of both its food and menu. Both are constantly evolving, and their transition to Oma’s Takeaway—a heady parking lot pickup party that recalls its freewheeling early days as a pop-up—shows the duo hasn’t missed a step since the Rona turned the PishaDufflys’ industry upside down. Keep a close eye on their Instagram page for the return of the Omazing Burger, which heaps a gooey pile of chile onion jam, American cheese and garlic mayo atop a juicy patty made from a blend of aged beef, rib and brisket to stunning results.

If you’ve ever wondered what the Bar Bar burger would taste like if it quit its job and bummed around Southeast Asia for six months, this is the answer. PETE COTTELL. Takeout: gadogadopdx.com. 5-10 pm daily, brunch 10 am-1 pm Saturday-Sunday.

Chef Jessie Aron opened one of Portland’s wildest restaurants shortly before the shutdown, but her genredefying creations translate well to takeout, particularly the rice bowls. The menu description speaks for itself: “Rice bowl with slow-roasted pork shoulder in apricot curry bbq sauce, coconut jasmine rice, stir-fried vegetables, pan roasted mushrooms, pineapple-tamarind slaw, crispy shallots, peanuts, avocado, herbs, pickled ginger and peppers, sesame, lime”—plus passion fruithabanero hot sauce on request. Eat each part on its own or mix it all up and contemplate a dozen tastes all at once. MICHAEL C. ZUSMAN. Takeout: 503-899-4245.

Noon-9 pm Tuesday-Sunday. malkapdx.com.

Nong’s Khao Man Gai ($11)

It traveled well when you were just taking it from cart to office—remember the office?—and still travels well for contactless pickup. The original cart may have given way to an unfinished hotel, but Nong Poonsukwattana’s eponymous Portland classic remains one of the city’s most perfect, simplest dining pleasures: tender poached chicken atop sticky rice, drizzled in a sauce rich with flavors of chile and garlic, plus a side of basic, soothing soup. Get a large with more of everything, plus chicken livers for $16. JASON COHEN. Takeout: khaomangai.com for 609 SE Ankeny St. (downtown location closed).

10:50 am-6 pm daily.

, Stammtisch s

There isn’t a single bad choice on the Stammtisch dinner menu, but the Jägerschnitzel is the way to go.

It’s a perfectly gossamer pork cutlet in a savory—yet surprisingly light—mushroom gravy, plus two side dishes (get the spätzle and red cabbage if you know what’s good for you). Pro tip: If you prefer your schnitzel fried, you can get the jäger gravy on the Wienerschnitzel and have it both ways. HEATHER ARNDT ANDERSON. Takeout: 503-206-7983. Delivery: Postmates. 4:30-8:30 pm daily. stammtischpdx.com.

It’s always the simple things you miss in times of crisis— like being able to go to any bar or restaurant and order a big plate of crispy, salty fries. Aviv’s thick-cut shawarma version may be a little closer to home fries, but that’s exactly why they can withstand a delivery run and the menagerie of creamy, spicy goodness they come topped with. Smothered with tahini, rich hummus, juicy soy curls and spicy, herbaceous zhoug, they’re both comforting and indulgent, and almost seem better suited for the comforts of your couch than Aviv’s softly lit, sit-down dining room. SHANNON GORMLEY. Takeout: avivpdx.com. Delivery: Caviar, Grubhub, Doordash. 11 am-9 pm daily.

, Nong s Khao Man Gai

If you,ve ever wondered what the Bar Bar burger would taste like

Stammtisch’s Jägerschnitzel ($17)

THOMAS TEAL

, Oma s Takeaway

, Scottie s Pizza Parlor

Scottie’s DeFino ($30 for an 18-inch pie)

Less bready than Sicilian and not as over-the-top cheesy as Detroit-style, Scottie’s grandma-style pie—named, in fact, for owner Scottie Rivera’s great-grandmother—is one of the best thick-crusts in town: a perfectly balanced pizza that allows the quality of the dough and toppings to shine equally. Due to the special pans and lower oven temperature needed to make it—plus the half-hour rest time before being boxed—it’s also one of Portland’s most labor-intensive pizzas, and is thus limited to 15 per day. But it can easily feed four people, and also reheats beautifully. (If the DeFino is sold out,the #1 as a similar flavor profile.) JASON COHEN. Takeout: 971-544-7878 starting at 1 pm for pickup 3:30-7 pm Wednesday-Saturday. scottiespizzaparlor.com.

Willamette Week MAY 27, 2020 wweek.com

11

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WESLEY LAPOINTE

, Big s Chicken

PaaDee

PaaDee’s Ba Mi Pitsanulok ($15)

Big’s Chicken’s Big Family Meal ($32.95 grilled, $33.95 fried)

When it comes to picnic-ready takeout, Big’s Big Family Meal is one of the best deals in town. For under $35, you get a whole chicken (juicy and flavorful whether fried or grilled), two sides (make sure jojos are one of them), and a large, delightfully old-school salad-bar salad with wedges of tomatoes, thick slices of cucumber and egg, and creamy housemade ranch. HEATHER ARNDT ANDERSON. Takeout: 971-255-0358 in Portland, 503-747-3190 in Beaverton.

Delivery: Caviar. 11 am-9 pm daily.

THOMAS TEAL

Kachka

THOMAS TEAL

There’s more to noodle soup than ramen and pho.

PaaDee’s ba mi “pitsanulok” has everything: chewy wheat noodles, crispy cubes of fried pork belly, succulent slices of red Chinese-style barbecue pork, and meatballs, all in a rich pork broth. Back in the day, the only issue with this delicious bowl was that it came with just a splash of broth. That’s since been remedied.

HEATHER ARNDT ANDERSON. Takeout: 503-360-1453, paadeepdx.com. Delivery: Postmates, Caviar, restaurant within 2-mile radius. Noon-8 pm WednesdaySunday.

Aviary Aviary’s Lobster Rolls ($15)

Kachka’s Dumplings ($10.99)

Before lockdown orders forced pretty much everyone to adopt the role of home chef, Bonnie Morales’ matriarchal ode to the hearty dishes of her parents’ homeland, the former Soviet Union, was already working to meet diners’ demand to cook some of her recipes themselves. Lavka, the adorably compact grocery store that opened above Kachka’s dining room last year, began selling items like the frequently requested frozen dumplings to go. And happily for novice cooks, they’re as simple to prepare as a box of fluorescent orange Kraft pasta, but taste much more sophisticated.

The savory, quarter-sized Siberian pelmeni are delicately soft yet robust with their juicy knobs of beef, pork and veal, while the tvorog vareniki offer a gloriously supple center of mild farmer’s cheese. Pretend you’re at Kachka, serve the dumplings on your most intricately decorated China and wildly patterned tablecloth, then finish with a sizable dollop of sour cream and sprinkling of fresh herbs. ANDI PREWITT. Takeout and delivery: kachkapdx.com. Delivery available within a 3-mile radius of the restaurant. Noon-8 pm daily for pickup, 1-7 pm daily for delivery.

Everything chef-owner Sarah Pliner serves is thoughtfully delicious, and her takeout lobster roll and jojos are no exception. The rolls are of the warm, dressed variety: 2.5 ounces of lobster meat mixed with a mayo-based sauce enhanced by herb, cayenne, celery and lemon zest, served on a pillowy soft, browned-inbutter roll. The jojo wedges ($7) start with Yukon Golds prepared in multiple stages, concluding with a quick turn in the fryer until crispy. MICHAEL C. ZUSMAN. Takeout: 503-287-2400. 4-8 pm Thursday-Saturday. aviarypdx.com.

CONT. on page 13 Willamette Week MAY 27, 2020 wweek.com

13

SARAH NOBLE

WESLEY LAPOINTE

Tight Tacos

Tight Tacos’ Hella(bur)Rito ($11)

A burrito is always a good call for takeout, and Tight Tacos is finally a contender for best in town. Its handpressed to order tortillas have a perfect elasticity, which is crucial in keeping the steamy pile of french fries, nacho cheese, cream and onions contained in handheld form.

In terms of protein, go for the carnitas, which create a matrix of crispy nooks and crannies for the globs of cheese to sneak into while your burrito is en route to your house. PETE COTTELL. Takeout: tighttacos.com. Delivery: PostMates, Grubhub, DoorDash. Noon-8 pm Tuesday-Saturday.

In the Rotation

Six rotating meal kits and dinner boxes to order—if you can act fast enough.

go for the carnitas, which create a matrix of crispy nooks and crannies for the globs of cheese to sneak into while your burrito is en route to your house.

Eem to You

THOMAS TEAL

Coquine

BAR KING

The most talked-about Portland restaurant of the past year had a few false starts getting into the takeout game, but the Thai barbecue Voltron of Earl Ninsom, Matt Vicedomini and Eric Nelson seems to have gotten things dialed in now, with a new reservation system that ensures their weekly pre-orders won’t sell out in seconds. Don’t get too confident, though.

This is still Eem we’re talking about. As soon as those curry dinners go on sale, 2,500 people will clamor to get their hands on it—seriously, that’s how many orders they say have been trying to get through each week—so a quick trigger finger is still required. Prices vary, order at eemto-you.com.

Bullard Take–Home Dinners

Top Chef made Doug Adams a celebrity, but until Bullard’s opening in 2018, his ability to conceive a credible menu and run a restaurant of his own awaited proof. Well, here it is. While the dining room is shut down, Adams is serving daily family-style meals fit for the Flintstones: car-tilting beef ribs, pulled pork sandwiches with both mac and potato salad and smoked chicken with carrot cake for dessert. Prices vary, order at bullardpdx.com.

Coquine’s Chocolate Chip Cookies ($15 a half-dozen, $29 a dozen)

Coquine is famous for its roast chicken and peerless pastas, but the entrees have always been rivaled in-house by chef Katy Millard’s chocolate chip cookies. Not too crunchy, not too cakey, punctuated by smoked almonds, salted caramel and brown butter. In better times, savvy diners have taken one at the table and a few more to go. Now, between your own baking projects, skip the pretense and grab a dozen curbside in a stylish brown box. MICHAEL C. ZUSMAN. Takeout: coquinepdx.com. Order by noon Sunday for Wednesday pickup or noon Wednesday for Saturday-Sunday pickup.

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Willamette Week MAY 27, 2020 wweek.com

Renata,s Meal Kits

Some might argue exactly where it falls on the hierarchy of Portland’s most prominent Italian spots, but make no mistake—Renata is among the best the city has, and its take-home meal kits give you the opportunity to take a stab at re-creating some of its best menu items in your own home, including a choice of pizzas and pastas, plus the chicken Parm and antipasti. There’s also housemade focaccia, but don’t worry—that comes already baked. Prices vary, order at renatapdx.com.

Bar King

One of Portland’s buzziest new restaurants opened and closed within the same week, but Bar King didn’t throw in the dishrag. Chef Shaun King has adapted his Asian-inspired, Momofuku-trained cooking to the takeout model, but that doesn’t mean he’s going small and simple. The rotating menu has so far included racks of spicy pork ribs, Korean fried chicken and Spanish-style octopus, plus stews served in big enough quantities to freeze and $25 brunch boxes on the weekend. Prices vary, order at instagram. com/barkingpdx.com.

Local Ocean,s DockBox

Even for people who’ve started devoting hours to the art of meal prep while in lockdown, cooking seafood may still seem intimidating or unnecessarily messy. The DockBox tries to make it easy for the reluctant home chef—even the chopping is done for you. The Newport seafood favorite drives the boxes to the B-Line warehouse at the Redd at Southeast 8th Avenue and Salmon Street every Wednesday for pickup, giving valley-dwellers a chance to make everything from the restaurant’s famous stews to its crab cakes right in their kitchen. Prices vary, order at localdockbox.com.

Nodoguro,s Bento Box

Nodoguro is one of Portland’s most refined dining experiences—a hardcore sushi bar with rotating 15-course meals thoughtfully devised and artfully plated by chef and co-owner Ryan Roadhouse. Over the past three weeks, Roadhouse has compressed Nodoguro’s omakase model into bento-style takehome dinners, with onigiri, sashimi and miso soup.

Selections change weekly depending on availability of ingredients, but the quality remains at the level diners have come to expect. $65 at nodoguroeleusis-shop.myshopify.com.

WESLEY LAPOINTE

Pinolo Gelateria

Rad Pantry

Portland food personalities on their favorite snacks, sauces and canned goods.

, Bobbie s Boat Sauce $9 at realgoodfood.com

“Since I bought my first bottle of Bobbie’s Boat Sauce in December 2018, I have never been without at least two bottles in my house. It comes in two varieties, Classic and Hot, and I keep both in stock in my condimentcrammed cabinets. I sincerely believe that, in time, Boat Sauce will join ketchup, mustard, mayo and Sriracha as the next fundamental condiment that everyone has and uses regularly. It is hard to describe in any other way except for ‘deeply umami,’ and I use it on everything from eggs to pizza.

Best of all, it’s made right here in Portland.” —Bill Oakley, fast food blogger

Coppa from Coro by Salumi

Pinolo Gelateria’s Fresh Fruit Sorbetto ($6.50 a half-pint, $9.95 a pint)

$59.99 for 1.3 pounds at coppafoods.com “I need to have capicola/coppa around. Sometimes I’ll buy some and just snack on it as I drive around. It’s something that was always in the fridge growing up, along with the sharpest provolone, and it’s something I can never get tired of. The best I’ve found on the West Coast, and possibly best ever, is made by Salumi, now called Coro by Salumi, in Seattle. Whenever I see their products I buy at least a half pound—whatever it may be. They have a mole-flavored salami that’s out of control.” —Don Salamone, chef and owner at Burger Stevens and Stevens Italiano

Mirroring the carousel of seasons, the dairy-free sorbettos at this Southeast Division Street gelato shop are the highest, purest iteration of fresh fruit in frozen form.

They can taste more like fruit than the fruit itself—it’s uncanny. Though proprietor Sandro Paolini was a little slow to offer takeout, he has the rhythm down now, with a rotating selection of flavors, such as champagne mango and tangerine-elderflower.

MICHAEL C. ZUSMAN. Takeout: Walk-ins welcome. 3-8 pm Friday. pinologelato.com.

S,B Chile Oil with Crunchy Garlic $9.41 at

amazon.com “While you are at H-Mart, you need to get this and some vegetable gyozas—life-changing. It’s jam-packed with umami: fried garlic, chile peppers, sesame oil, MSG, almonds, fried onion, all in chile-infused oil.”

—Shaun King, owner and chef at Bar King

the dairy-free sorbettos at this Southeast Division Street gelato shop are the highest, purest iteration of fresh fruit in frozen form. They can taste more like fruit than the fruit itself—

“I use it on sautéed greens and as a marinade for grilled vegetables.”

—Josh McFadden, owner of Ava Gene’s, Tusk and Cicoria

Sunflower Oil

WESLEY LAPOINTE

Pie Spot

Nong,s Khao Man Gai Sauce $12 at khaomangai.com $7.99 at kachkapdx.com “A good finishing sunflower oil is an absolute must for me. It can go anywhere you’d use nice olive oil but has an absolutely irreplaceable flavor. Try it this summer over tomatoes.” —Bonnie Morales, owner and chef at Kachka

Trader Joe,s Lightly Smoked Sardines in Olive Oil $8.99 at walmart.com

“I love them so much I have a sardine tattoo on my wrist. I love the smoky, oily, briny, most-bang-for-your-buck kind. The most recent tin I bought was from Trader Joe’s, but I’m not picky or fancy about where I get them from.”

—Gabe Rucker, owner and chef at Canard and Le Pigeon

Embasa Tomatillos

Pie Spot’s Marionberry Pie Spot ($4.50 each, $54 a baker’s dozen)

The magic of the Pie Spot is its tight ratio of crust to filling—it means you get plenty of flaky, golden brown, all-butter crust with each bite. The spots, which look like a hybrid of a mini-pie and a tart, are also easy to manage without utensils. Though everyone has a favorite, the sweet-tart, uniquely Oregon marionberry easily outshines any corporate candy. MICHAEL C. ZUSMAN. Takeaway: pie-spot.com. Order by Thursday for “no contact,” call-on-arrival pickup 11 am-4 pm Friday-Saturday.

$7.88 at walmart.com “When most gringos think of salsa, they think of tomatoes. But in Mexico, tomatillos—the tart, green fruit in a husk that looks similar to an unripened tomato—are much more common for salsas. While I like to use fresh tomatillos when possible, canned work fine for most salsas, especially cooked green sauces for enchiladas and chile verde or even moles. And with a little onion, garlic and chile of your choice blended together, you have a great table salsa for tacos, burritos, quesadillas and other antojitos.”

—Nick Zukin, owner and chef at Mi Mero Mole

Calbee Shrimp Chips $5.99 at amazon.com

“When my oma would visit, these would invariably be packed in her suitcase. She would always bring treats for us, like these shrimp chips, but also Dutch coffee hard candy called Hopiko; her spekkoek, a Dutch Indonesian layered spice cake; and Tokyo peanuts. She passed away a few days ago at 93 due to complications from COVID. I’m eating a bag of these now and thinking of her—the smell and tastes of this snack are very nostalgic to me and my sisters. She will be missed.” —Thomas Pisha-Duffly, owner of Gado Gado/Oma’s Takeaway Willamette Week MAY 27, 2020 wweek.com

15

Stay home.

Take out.

Dining rooms across the city are shut down right now—but in a culinary capital like Portland, there’s always a way to get great food and drink, while supporting local businesses.

Stay safe and enjoy an awesome meal by ordering pick up or delivery from these restaurants, wineries, and breweries.

sponsored content

LOVEJOY’S TEA ROOM

It’s tea time! Enjoy a full tea service packed with tea sandwiches, scones with clotted cream, crumpets with lemon curd, petits

fours, sausage rolls, vegan shepherd’s pies, ploughman’s lunch, and much more. Order online at lovejoysportland.com/togo.

ALDEN’S ORGANIC

I scream, you scream, we all scream for... ice cream! If you have a sweet tooth—check out the full range of family and personal

indulgence size organic ice cream, novelties, and dairy-free frozen desserts. Order online at aldensicecream.com/find-a-store/.

CHERYL’S ON 12th

Whether you’re craving breakfast, lunch, or dinner—Cheryl’s on 12th

has something for you! Order online at orders@cherylson12th.com.

ROGUE ALES & SPIRITS

Free beer and spirits delivery in Portland and the surrounding area—what more do we have to say. Kegs, crowlers, canned cocktails, spirits and packaged beer are

available for curbside pickup at the Rogue Eastside Pub, 12-5pm daily.

Order for pick up or delivery at buy.rogue.com.

Support Local.

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SOTER VINEYARDS

Oregon Wine Country Delivered to your door. Biodynamic Pinot Noirs, Chardonnay and Rosé make perfect accompaniments to your summer gatherings. Stock up your pantries

and fridges with delicious foods from our kitchen like porcini cavatelli, skillet corn bread and sesame-chocolate chip cookie dough.

Order online at sotervineyards.com

PASTINI

Now, who doesn’t love pasta?

Lucky for you-—Pastini offers scratch-made pasta dishes, fresh salads, and half-off bottles of wine.

Vegan and gluten-free pastas, and

a full kids menu are also available.

(Note: wine is only available for pickup, not delivery). Order online at www.pastini.com/order.

NICHOLAS RESTAURANT LEBANESE FOOD

If you’re in the mood for Lebanese and Mediterranean—check out the Flatten the Curve menu. Lamb, salmon, and veggie kabobs are

among a few of the tasty items on the menu. Order online at nicholasrestaurant.com/.

BLIND COFFEE ROASTERS

Need your caffeine fix? Don’t worry—we got you! Order a freshly roasted coffee and don’t forget, there’s FREE shipping on all orders

of 2 or more pounds of coffee anywhere in the US. Order online at blindcoffeeroasters.com/shop/ or call at 503-969-9873.

STREET

THE ROSE FESTIVAL PORCH PARADE The Rose Festival may be postponed, but nothing will stop Portland from having a parade. As a stopgap measure, organizers invited homeowners to decorate their porches as stationary floats as a sign of civic pride in the midst of the coronavirus pandemic. Here’s what it looked like in Irvington.

Photos by Mick Hangland-Skill @mick.jpg

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Willamette Week MAY 27, 2020 wweek.com

T H E M OST I M PO RTA N T T H I N G S T HAT H A P P E N E D I N P O R T L A N D C U LT U R E T H I S WE E K , FR O M BE ST TO WO RST .

COURTESY OF THE CITY OF BAKER CITY

STARTERS

OREGON’S MOST FAMOUS BACKHOE

PRICE FIXING

With businesses reopening around the state, Oregonians are fumbling to adjust to new rules and regulations. The McMinnville Police Department received a call from one such confused citizen, who contacted the station about a local barber shop that had raised its prices upon reopening. “It was my ‘eye roll emoji with a face palm, can you believe that, shake your head’ sort of reaction,” says Chief Matt Scales. The caller did not specify what they expected the police to do about the barber shop’s haircut prices, but it prompted Scales to publish a PSA on Twitter: “If you don’t want to pay for the cost of a cut, just leave.”

SUPERMAN THAT BACKHOE

FECAL MATTERS

The Deschutes National Forest is back open, but with limited services.

The pandemic is preventing the U.S. Forest Service from performing regular maintenance on many of its facilities, which means restrooms will not be regularly cleaned—or, in the case of vault toilets, emptied.

That prompted rangers to give a tutorial on pooping in the woods in a video that teaches four different methods of popping a squat with no toilet seat around, along with helpful reminders to dig your cat hole 6 to 8 inches deep and stay at least 200 feet away from water sources, trails and campsites when doing your business. It’s a lesson the public apparently needs: An accumulation of human waste recently forced the Oregon Department of Forestry to temporarily ban backcountry camping in Clatsop, Tillamook and Santiam state forests.

SING OUT

After a year of upheaval within the company, the Portland Opera has decided to postpone the first half of its 2020-21 season. The decision follows the cancellation of the final three shows of its current season, which would have taken place between May and July. Now the company has postponed the rest of its productions for the year—Frida and Tosca, the first two of five shows next season. Though it is hardly the only Portland institution forced to cancel programming and sustain heavy losses, the opera was just beginning to emerge from years of much-publicized financial problems. “Every time the governor has a press conference,” general director Sue Dixon tells WW, “I get this sinking feeling of, ‘What else is going to happen to our industry?’”

RESTAURANTPOCALYPSE

In a sweeping blow to the city’s culinary community, restaurateur David Machado announced he will permanently close all five of his Portland restaurants due to the economic fallout from COVID-19.

That includes Altabira City Tavern, Citizen Baker, Nel Centro, Pullman Winebar & Merchant, and Tanner Creek Tavern. Machado told Eater, which first reported the news, he believes the road to reopening isn’t viable with the current pandemic guidelines and restrictions. Healthconscious Mexican chainlet Verde Cocina also announced it would shutter its Pearl District cafe, while The Oregonian confirmed East Portland dim sum staple Wong’s King will not reopen.

SLAYER HIPPY R.I.P.

Steven Hanford, best known as the drummer for Portland punk icons Poison Idea, died May 21. His girlfriend confirmed in a Facebook post that he had suffered a heart attack. He was 50 years old.

Hanford—who went by the nickname Slayer Hippy—played for Poison Idea at the height of the band’s critical and commercial success in the late 1980s and early ’90s.

His playing was marked by a sophisticated technique uncommon in hardcore punk.

“Jaw-dropping drummer, precocious child prodigy, obnoxious trickster, party fiend, studio wizard…he was all of these things,” Pierced Arrows drummer Kelly Halliburton wrote on Facebook, “and I’m happy to have been able to have called him my friend.”

SLAYER HIPPY

BOP! 2020

In last week’s election, residents of Baker City, a small town in Eastern Oregon, overwhelmingly passed measure 10-99, which gives Baker City the authority to sell a 1995 backhoe. Normally, this would not be news. But the town’s voter-approved sale has led to a surprising afterlife for the backhoe—the aging piece of equipment is now Twitter famous. “Is it weird that I’m feeling bad for the backhoe? It lost,” one user tweeted. “I’m just hoping another batch of ballots comes in and reverses Baker City’s dastardly measure to sell their treasured 1995 backhoe,” wrote another. On the same ballot, Baker City voters also passed a measure so they’ll never have to approve the sale of a backhoe again. Bummer.

PRESENTED BY:

BEST OF PORTLAND

READERS’ POLL

WE’RE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER.

Help us support local, independent shops, services, and businesses.

VOTING OPEN NOW! BOP.WWEEK.COM #WWBOP2020 Willamette Week MAY 27, 2020 wweek.com

19

DANIEL AGEE

Q( UA RA N TIN E ) & A

J A N E S S A WA G N E R

GET INSIDE

WHAT TO DO— AND WHAT OTHERS ARE DOING— WHILE STUCK AT HOME.

B U S INE SS DE VE LO PME NTS

Andy Baio, Co-Founder of XOXO Festival WW: XOXO happens in September, and you canceled this year’s festival in mid-March. Tell me about the decision to cancel XOXO. Andy Baio: On the day we announced, in the U.S., there were 80 confirmed coronavirus deaths. At the time, it wasn’t clear where things were going to go. There were events that had canceled at that point, but they were absolutely enormous events taking place in the next month or two. But for us, we’re an independent event with an extremely small team. We knew the moment we started taking money from sponsors and attendees, it wouldn’t be something we could recover from if we had to cancel closer to the event.

What are you hearing from other event organizers about 2021?

Everyone is trying to shift online. We don’t know when this is going to resolve, when it’s going to be safe to gather large groups of people again. When you get to events the size of ours, where it’s 1,200 people and they’re traveling nationally or internationally, I don’t know about September 2021. The last XOXO may have been the last one.

What are some of the coolest projects you’ve seen emerge from this pandemic?

One of them is LikeLike Online. It’s a free, web-based, gallery of games where you go in and have a little pixel art avatar. You walk around in a gallery space with other people, and each room has an interesting dynamic. A room where nobody can say the same word twice. There’s another room where it’s like a rap battle, where the moment you type something, a beat starts, and everything you say has to rhyme. There’s a bunch of projects along those lines—ways of making you feel like you have the depth of a conversation, but it’s something that scales to more than a Zoom room of 10 people.

What have you learned while being in isolation?

If there’s one thing I do pretty well, I’m pretty good at finding interesting things on the internet. I tend to be interested in the more playful aspects of the internet, and it’s become increasingly difficult to find those things because there’s a global pandemic going on and no one is signal-boosting them. This is the biggest whining on the yacht thing.

But for someone whose job has historically been to find people and projects that are interesting and pushing new ground, a lot of that is increasingly difficult to find.

See the full video interview with Andy Baio at wweek.com/distant-voices.

20

Willamette Week MAY 27, 2020 wweek.com

HANDOFF: Musician Michele Linn of Blue Diamond regulars Night Rose delivers food to a customer.

The Blue Diamond

Musicians from the Northeast Portland blues bar will deliver you meatloaf—and maybe a song.

On a recent Thursday night, Rae Gordon stood inside the Blue Diamond on Northeast Sandy Boulevard, lit in red and blue lights, wrapping her tough but sweet voice around the late Betty Wright’s “No Pain, No Gain,” accompanied by keyboardist Mark Steele and club co-owner Sonny Hess on guitar. No one was in the audience—the performance streamed live on Facebook, with a big white “tip jar” sign containing the club’s PayPal and Venmo information placed between the musicians.

In the COVID-19 era, many clubs have taken to online concerts in order to stay connected to the community and stay afloat financially. But earlier that day, Gordon reached out to Blue Diamond regulars in a completely different way: by bringing them food from the bar’s kitchen.

Like a lot of local bars and restaurants, the club, a long-running hub for local blues and R&B, has shifted to a delivery model. Instead of using third-party apps, it’s done entirely in-house—and the drivers are all musicians.

“It's been such an incredible experience to be able to deliver to the audience members that you usually see from the stage,” Gordon says. “In this music community, you become like family.”

Blue Diamond co-owner and chef Jamie Pemberton’s menu includes burgers, salads and the specialty of the house, Sonny’s Meatloaf, based on Hess’ recipe. It also offers alcohol—

beer, wine, champagne, cider, White Claw—as well as CDs by the artists making the deliveries.

To maintain proper distance, customers retrieve their food out of the back of the vehicle, and the musicians all wear masks. But performers can’t help but perform: One regular burst into tears when her delivery came with a side of Gordon singing “(You Make Me Feel Like a) Natural Woman” through an open window.

“It was then that I realized that it’s not just supporting a venue,” Gordon says. “It’s supporting the people that are missing having music in their lives.”

Food delivery and online streams can’t make up for not being open, Hess says. But it keeps a few people at the Blue Diamond employed, generates a little cash for the musicians and, perhaps most importantly, keeps the place in people’s hearts and minds.

“We’re dying over here,” says Hess, who lost 72 gigs of her own to the virus, many of them at McMenamins properties. “Y’know, it’s not just the money. It’s the jones, man. That audience, that feedback—that’s what we live for. We can’t do without ’em. It’s very difficult.” JASON COHEN. ORDER: The Blue Diamond, 2016 NE Sandy Blvd., 503-230-9590, bluediamondpdx.net. Lunch 11 am-2 pm Wednesday-Friday, dinner 4-8 pm Friday and 4-7 pm Sunday. See website for ordering info.

MAY 27-JUNE 2 CO LO R T H IS

I L L U S T R AT I O N B Y L A U R E N B L A I R

SP ORTS- I SH

2000 World’s Strongest Man

Let’s go back to a simpler time. It’s the year 2000. Sept. 11 is still just a random date on the calendar, and I am between eighth grade and high school, probably spending the day outside with my friends, playing basketball or baseball or doing literally anything where you still get to be near anyone. Meanwhile, in Sun City, South Africa, a bunch of beefy dudes with kegerator-shaped bodies are trying to lift a BMW with their bare hands. In these tough times, we all need to find a reserve of strength, so why not get motivated by watching some of the strongest dudes alive play tug of war with a semi truck? Here are a few personal highlights:

1:07 Watching the competitors get introduced in what looks like a Disney safari resort, I put my money on the hometown boy from South Africa, Gerrit Badenhorst, who looks like a giant Alex Jones. I imagine him screaming, “The virus is a Chinese bioweapon!” as he squats a car.

2:51 The participants make their predictions about who is going to win, with almost none of them picking themselves.

My favorite part is where they all keep referring to the guy from Poland simply as “the Polish guy.”

5:59 The first event is the Super Yoke, in which the competitors run a course with an 800-pound rack resting on their shoulders. It has a very “dad dragging his entire family while late for a flight” energy.

18:13 Just when you thought you were spending an hour escaping from the current reality of the world, it’s announced that a dude had to quit the competition after two events because he contracted an unnamed virus. I shit you not!

Hey, remember doing things? So do we! Relive some of your favorite Portland activities through the miracle of coloring.

Color this image—hell, even add your own art—and let us see it on social media with the hashtag #colorthispdx.

RE AD T H IS

22:12 Well, a guy just started bleeding from the nose while lifting a car.

33:37 Note to self: A stout Polish man screaming as he pulls two semis is a scary thing to watch at 3 am.

37:21 “I’m just not strong enough,” says a man who could crush my head in with his bare hands after pulling two 18-ton trucks a few seconds slower than his competitor.

48:40 Janne “Pronounced Like Yanni” Virtanen becomes the 2000 World’s Strongest Man, and he does a little high step to seal the deal. Congrats to Janne. I think I’ll go lift a Prius now. JAKE SILBERMAN. WATCH: See the 2000 World’s Strongest Man on YouTube.

The Sea, the Sea by Iris Murdoch “Published in 1978, The Sea, the Sea is Iris Murdoch’s 19th novel and won her the Booker Prize. It’s been sitting on my shelf unread since approximately 2015 and turns out I was just saving it to read at the perfect time. It’s about a lonely old man, retired theater director Charles Arrowby, who retreats from London to a house by the sea (the sea) and decides to write his autobiography. Something about how he piddles about his house and describes his sad meals with great detail and enthusiasm will strike the contemporary reader as…familiar. The book is long and baggy, but it’s been such a balm to return to after another day of caregiving and quarantine. I’ve loved hanging out with proud old Charles Arrowby—he’s washed up, in every sense, which is starting to feel relatable—and have cherished all the absolute havoc he’s managed to wreak from within the confines of his crappy little house.” —Meaghan O’Connell, author of And Now We Have Everything (2018). See more book recommendations on page 27.

Willamette Week MAY 27, 2020 wweek.com

21

WESLEY LAPOINTE

CULTURE

Small Time Sure, quarantine is hard for everyone. Try doing it in a tiny home.

BY M ATTH E W S I N G E R

msinger@wweek.com

Seven months ago, living in a tiny home made perfect sense to Maria Menzel and Tino Meyer.

The couple had come to Portland from Germany in 2019 on five-year work visas after Meyer accepted a job in the engineering department at Adidas. Investing in anything more expensive didn’t seem reasonable given that they’d be in the United States only temporarily—and anyway, the idea of minimalist living appealed to their sensibilities.

“Most of all, I think we just love the concept of downsizing,” says Menzel, 33. “Knowing that tiny houses are so popular in Portland, we were fascinated by the concept and thought this would be the right time just to try this.”

That was in November, a time of open restaurants, bustling bars, unrestricted hiking trails, and plenty of other reasons not to stay cooped up at home. But ever since the outside world was effectively rendered off limits, the pair has spent most of their time together between the walls of their 208-square-foot mobile house, currently stationed in a backyard in the Cully neighborhood, rationing out work time at the single table that can fit inside.

So far, their relationship has not sustained any significant damage. But Menzel, who’s studying for a master’s degree in sociology through online courses from the University of Hagen while her husband telecommutes to his job at the sportswear giant, confesses the situation has made the typical challenges of cohabitation more intense.

“Whenever one of us is moody, which is totally normal, you have to share it,” Menzel says. “You are sharing everything every single minute of the day.”

Over the past two and a half months, people everywhere have been forced to confront the limitations of their living situations. But not many are doing it while confined to a space not much bigger than the average dorm room.

In Portland, the scenario is slightly more common: The city is a hub for tiny homes, exceptionally small dwellings 22

Willamette Week MAY 27, 2020 wweek.com

LIFE IN MINIATURE: Lina Menard designed her own 100-square-foot tiny home on wheels. Despite its size, visitors often call the house a “cathedral” because of its large windows.

that often resemble glammed-up tool sheds on wheels.

While they exist in a legal gray area due to hazy zoning laws, their relative affordability—most cost between $30,000 and $100,000—and small environmental footprint have made them popular in a town that is both famously eco-conscious and growing increasingly congested. An estimated 300 of them are scattered around Portland, according to Kol Peterson, a small-living advocate.

For many, though, the main appeal of the tiny home is that it forces a scaled-down lifestyle, which in turn encourages greater communion with the world beyond your doorstep.

But what happens when “Stay Home, Save Lives” becomes the mantra, and your whole world is suddenly reduced to the size of a walk-in closet?

Lina Menard, for one, admits it’s not exactly what she signed up for.

She’s lived in tiny homes for nine years—she even designed her current one herself. Calling hers “tiny,” though, might be an understatement. It’s 100 square feet, making it “one of the tinier tiny houses out there,” she says. Despite its size, visitors often refer to the house as a “cathedral” because of its large windows.

Menard has moved her home eight times. At the moment, she’s in a backyard in Irvington. She’s a true believer in the form: Her company, Niche Consulting, is devoted to placing people in alternative living situations. But she confesses the era of self-isolation has, to a degree, changed the relationship to her own home, at least temporarily.

“Part of my interest in living small is to live bigger outside of the house,” she says. “I really enjoy having a little home of my own, and then the whole rest of the world to go hike and to happy hour and everything else. So it is a change for sure to be in my house or in my yard as much as I am.”

The main issue, she says, is not being able to do two things at once. When her bed is folded down, there’s no room for the makeshift standing desk she works at during the day, or anything else, really. When it’s time to sleep, she has to essentially pack up the rest of the house, no matter how tired she might be. She also has to be more strategic about shopping for groceries, given that she only has a mini-fridge for food storage—a particular challenge right now, when trips to the market represent a safety hazard.

It’s frustrating at times, she admits. But being forced into a routine, she says, has its own psychological benefits.

Menzel agrees: Although their house has more defined spaces, with a kitchen, living room and loft, with both her

and her husband working from home, finding ways to both share space and stay out of each other’s way is key. She spends the morning studying in the living room while he takes calls from the desk in the kitchen; in the afternoon, they rotate. They also make sure to get outside twice a day, usually for a run or bike ride, no matter the weather.

“It’s not too much of a burden for us,” Menzel says, “but you have to organize yourself.”

Neither she nor Menard regret their choice to live small— but for them, it was a choice. Others have been pushed into it.

A month ago, 26-year-old Kharia Epps was staying at a battered women’s shelter in Vancouver, Wash., with her 1-year-old son. When the pandemic forced the facility to shut down, she had only 48 hours to find somewhere to go. After some frantic searching, she came across Caravan, the tiny house hotel on Northeast Alberta Street. Kol Peterson and his wife, Deb Delman, established the complex in 2013 to allow prospective tiny home dwellers to “kick the tires on the experience.” But with the regular hotel business paralyzed by COVID-19, they opened the six units as weekly and monthly rentals for frontline workers and others in need of a place to stay, at deeply discounted rates.

Epps is now paying $1,200 for a 170-square-foot woodpaneled cabin. At first, she thought it would be a long adjustment period. But after three weeks, she says it feels not much different than a studio apartment. When her son is crying, there’s no escaping, and she wishes he had more room to play and learn to walk in. She also misses having laundry. But the trade-off is the other amenities, which include a canopy-covered fire pit for nightly bonfires with the other tenants.

“I feel like after being here three weeks, I could live here long term,” she says, “if that was ever an option.”

Peterson believes it’s a conclusion more people will come to once the health crisis ends and the financial crisis begins. With a recession on the horizon, the idea of downsizing and minimal living is going to look more appealing, he says. In the long run, he sees the pandemic being a boon for the tiny house movement.

“This only gives extra credence to the idea of reducing month-to-month housing expenses,” he says.

And for the already converted, the pandemic has validated why they chose to live this way in the first place.

“On the one hand, this little space needs to be my everything all day long now,” Menard says. “And on the other hand, that’s exactly what it was for.”

FOOD & DRINK

Editor: Matthew Singer / Contact: msinger@wweek.com

TAKE ME OUT

TOP 5

Crepe Show

HOT PLATES

JOE RIEDL

Where to order takeout or delivery this week.

Chad Bernard didn’t let a pandemic stop him from transforming his long-running Portland bistro into a killer creperie.

BY S CO UT B R O B ST

sbrobst@wweek.com

COURTESY OF CHAD BERNARD

Many Portland restaurateurs are relying on community recognition and a faithful customer base to ride out the pandemic. Chad Bernard has gone in a different direction. He’s used the shutdown as an opportunity to overhaul everything about his business—from the menu to the décor on down to the name.

As of two weeks ago, what was once cozy French bistro Chez Machin is now Frog & Snail, a casual creperie with a menu that caters to the health-conscious and gluten-free.

It doesn’t exactly fall within Bernard’s culinary background: Before taking over at Chez Machin in 2019, he spent time working at Bamboo Sushi and alongside panAsian chef Johanna Ware. But the new menu does have some personal significance for Bernard, drawing inspiration from his family roots in the Alsace region of France.

In less viral times, guests can expect brightly accented walls, bar seating around an open kitchen where customers can watch Bernard work, and French onion soup with layers of bread and Gruyère that don’t have to be stamped out with a biscuit cutter to fit into a paper to-go cup.

For now, Frog & Snail is a one-man game, with crepes, quiche and a handful of homemade sides available to order for takeout or delivery through Postmates. Fans of dessert crepes can indulge in the Classic ($5.95) with Nutella, fresh banana and graham cracker crumble, while those who prefer savory options can try the BBQ ($9.95) and Grilled Cheese ($6.95), many of which accommodate for dietary restrictions.

The standout so far, though, is the German ($9.95).

Here’s what goes into it.

THE BATTER Like the rest of Frog & Snail’s savory selections, the German has moved away from the treacly wheat batter that was a staple of Chez Machin. “We are focusing on 100 percent buckwheat crepes, which are naturally gluten-free and are more of the traditional way that savory crepes are made in France,” says Bernard. “They’re super-nutritious, too, which is nice. It’s got a nice, almost earthy flavor to it.”

1. Ataula 1818 NW 23rd Place, 503-894-8904, ataulapdx.com.

3-6 pm Thursday-Sunday.

Ataula is a Spanish adventure in our own backyard. In normal times, the Slabtown dining room is packed with raucous groups stopping in for Spanish and Pacific Northwest-inspired small plates crafted by Jose Chesa. Newly opened for takeout, Chesa is focused on large dinners that can keep families fed for multiple meals—think paellas, rossejat, roasted chicken in romesco sauce.

The Tapas Dinner, however, offers a facsimile of the dine-in experience, with a selection that includes potatoes bravas, beet salad, snacky pintxos, and churro donut holes.

How to order: See website.

2. Stevens Italiano 736 SE Grand Ave., 503-801-8017, stevensitaliano.com.

Pickup times 4-7 pm Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday.

Bad news: Burger Stevens, perhaps the best interpretation of a Shake Shack-style fast food burger found in Portland, is on hiatus.

The good news? Owner Don Salamone has pivoted to Italian food, drawing upon his own family’s recipes for sausage cacciatore, homemade gnocchi in vodka sauce and eggplant Parmigiana, served in portions big enough to guarantee leftovers. The menu changes daily, and only 20 dinners are available, so check the website and plan ahead.

How to order: See website.

3. Holy Trinity 3582 SE Powell Blvd., 469-964-9256, holytrinitybarbecue.com.

11 am until sold out Friday-Sunday.

Open for about a year, Holy Trinity is Portland’s newest Texasstyle barbecue joint, but it’s earned a reputation for serving some of the best brisket ribs, sausage and pulled pork in town. Sample it all in one of its two to-go meal boxes: the $60 Single Dad, which feeds up to three, or the heftier Family Pack that comes with a pound of everything, plus four sausages and a bunch of sides. Don’t sleep on the banana pudding, either.

How to order: See website.

4. Please Louise

THE DRAW According to Bernard, the German, like all of the menu’s savory crepes, works because it operates as a meal in itself. “The potatoes au gratin are already a really popular side, so putting them in the crepe is pretty delicious,” he says. “It’s really hearty, and you can eat it any time of day—it’s definitely one of our more popular ones.”

ORDER: Frog & Snail, 3553 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 503-736-9381, frogandsnail. com. Takeout and delivery 9 am-8 pm Wednesday-Monday.

How to order: Caviar and Postmates.

5. Baes 225 SW Ash St., baeschicken.com.

Four years after he pulled the plug on his previous attempt at a fried chicken joint, fast-casual kingpin Micah Camden’s newest project doles out fresh, juicy birds with ruthless efficiency and alarming consistency. The hot chicken, in particular, is destined to be the subject of citywide hype. The heat level is tolerable for most, preserving the smoky, peppery flavor without scorching taste buds.

How to order: Caviar.

Willamette Week MAY 27, 2020 wweek.com

23

ROCKY BURNSIDE

THE FILLING The theory behind the German is that you can throw all sorts of rich, salt-heavy ingredients into a thin pancake and strike gold. It’s not wrong. The buckwheat crepe is stuffed with potatoes au gratin, caramelized onion jam, crispy bacon and scallions, topped with a healthy serving of homemade crème fraîche. It also comes with a house salad, for balance.

1505 NW 21st Ave., 503-946-1853, please-louise.com.

4-8:30 pm Tuesday-Sunday.

This bright little neighborhood spot cranks out thin, low-tang pies that deny any specific geographic lineage. The rest of the menu is simple (arugula salad, Brussels sprouts with goat cheese, charcuterie plate) and well executed. Oh, and it also has Ruby Jewel ice cream sandwiches for $5.

FOOD & DRINK

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Four years ago, Ben & Jerry’s released its first three vegan flavors to the delight of dairyaverse consumers nostalgic for pints so dense with toppings you can barely shove a spoon in.

But like many animal product substitutes, the first round of flavors were all just a little bit… off. The texture of the mix-ins ranged from sandy to frozen solid, and the almond milk ice cream made everything taste like cloying marzipan. It’s hard to imagine anyone who eats dairy grabbing a pint. Clearly, though, enough consumers have been buying them, because this month, Ben & Jerry’s added yet another three flavors to its lineup of non-dairy offerings, bringing the total to 15. This time, the ice cream is made with a substitute that sounds, well, kind of gross: sunflower milk—more like bird food than a decadent dessert. But it’s actually a major improvement on the almond milk, particularly the “Milk” & Cookies. Instead of that distinct marzipan aftertaste, the vanilla sunflower milk provides a warm, subtle nuttiness. But the best part is the chunks of chocolate chip and Oreo-knockoff cookies, which miraculously stay perfectly chewy, despite almost melting into the cream. It’s a definite upgrade from the almond milk version, where the Oreo-like chunks were basically just bricks of sugar. It all makes for a rare vegan ice cream that you’ll actually have to guard from your dairy-loving housemates. Recommended. SHANNON GORMLEY.

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Willamette Week MAY 27, 2020 wweek.com

6635 N Baltimore Ave., No. 102, 503-719-7102, occidentalbrewing.com.

Occidental founders Ben and Dan Engler never bothered to wait for drinkers’ tastes to learn to embrace lighter craft beer. They just started making impressive lagers from the get go, and are now perfectly positioned to attract the wave of customers moving away from hoppier beverages. Occidental’s most popular flagships, like the Hefeweizen or the Altbier, hover around the 5 percent ABV mark.

2. Pono Brewing 5716 SE 92nd Ave., 503-432-8400, ponobrewing.com.

Long before he made any beer, Pono brewer Larry Closer had merchandise—a situation that led to lots of ribbing about “Portland’s Only NonOperational Brewery.” Well, the South Pacific-themed operation is real now.

Its current slate of beers includes the Blitzington Haze IPA, made with fruity Samba hops, and long-standing favorite Pineapple Express Kölsch.

3. Gigantic 5224 SE 26th Ave., 503-208-3416, giganticbrewing.com.

Gigantic feels like a scrappy upstart that still can’t believe it made it big.

Hidden in an industrial area just west of Reed College, the 8-yearold operation feels like a secret clubhouse The brewery has built

its reputation on a beer that never changes, the crowd-pleasing flagship IPA, as well as its constantly rotating lineup of seasonals.

4. Cascade Brewing 939 SE Belmont St., 503-265-8603, cascadebrewing.com.

Most serious beer drinkers have made up their minds about sour beer by now, but even the stodgiest stout stans and chin-stroking lagerheads should have a special place in their hearts for the pioneering sours poured by Cascade. The Kentucky Peach is a tart mixture of wheat and quad ales aged with the stone fruit, while the Sang Royal is a sharp and fragrant red ale aged in a barrel with Oregon pinot noir grapes.

5. Ecliptic Brewing 825 N Cook St., 503-265-8002, eclipticbrewing.com.

Prior to launching Ecliptic in 2013, John Harris was something like the Jon Brion of Portland beer—the expert craftsman behind all your favorite records whom only true geeks could pick out of a lineup.

Standbys like the dry and piney Starburst IPA and the refreshingly tart Carina Peach Sour have become staples in their own right, while the rest of the menu is filled out by a rotating slate of seasonals and special releases.

POTLANDER SAM GEHRKE

Weed Science Peak Extract’s Katie Stem talks Chinese medicine, homophobia in cannabis, and trashy romance novels.

BY BRIA N N A W H E E L E R

Katie Stem might be Portland’s most well-rounded mad scientist.

She began as a teenage apprentice at an anatomy lab, preparing cadavers for medical students, and went on to graduate from Carleton College, majoring in premed and literature. Next came a degree in traditional Chinese medicine—she still maintains an acupuncture and herbal medicine practice that she’s had since 2010. She’s worked in an oncology lab, done behavior neuroscience and memory research, and worked with both pharmaceutical and natural interventions for multiple sclerosis.

Now, Stem is CEO of Peak Extracts, one of Portland’s first adult-use edibles producers. Peak products are ubiquitous in Oregon dispensaries, with formulas based on Stem’s own research into cannabis medicine—she used pot to help relieve the effects of Crohn’s disease—and her experience as a licensed herbalist. Peak’s award-winning Rescue Rub, for instance, follows a 2,000-year-old Chinese salve formula Stem uses in her own practice.

“It’s all cohesive,” she says of her many occupational hats. “It’s all people-oriented, it’s all healing-oriented, and that’s a constant source of nourishment for me.”

Above all those other things, Stem is also one of the state’s queer business leaders. With Pride Month arriving under obviously strange circumstances, WW spoke to Stem about her LGBTQ+ and female mentorship, gender-biased homophobia and the flimsy misogyny of the cannabis industry.

What was it like to navigate the medicinal market after your Crohn’s diagnosis, and how does that influence the branding and marketing of Peak?

It was entirely based on trial and error at first. Then I was able to home in on a few genotypes that were most useful to me. That’s how Peak came up with our colorcoding system. What we wanted to do was duplicate what I needed, because I would need a very specific genotype for my symptoms, so we divided them into six different color-coded categories based on effects. It’s not about indicas versus sativas—it’s more about the genetics, terpene expressions, and the subjective effects they have on your brain and on smooth muscle versus skeletal muscle.

WW: Before cannabis, you worked in medical research and later Chinese medicine. How did that experience lead you to start Peak Extracts?

Katie Stem: I was really sick in my 20s with Crohn’s disease, a treatable, but not curable, chronic progressive disease. There weren’t a lot of options for me in terms of Peak Extracts was the first cannabis company to make intervention with Western medicine. I was already pre- the transition from medical to recreational. Was that med, so I took a pause—or what I thought was going to process harder being a company run by women? be a pause—and got a degree in Chinese medicine, which Getting a facility licensed in Portland was an absolute was more in line with the natural product research I was bear. We even had to hire a man to pretend to work for doing. Chinese medicine our company! We were was really working for me. I stuck with this one inspecwanted to learn more about tor who would come in and “ONE OF THE BIGGEST it, so I started a practice and just say, “Who are you going continued to do research on to get to run this machine?”

PROBLEMS IN THE CANNABIS my own time.

We’d say, “We’ve used this INDUSTRY RIGHT NOW IS The problem with how machine for three years, Crohn’s is treated, as I see know how to run it,” but THAT PEOPLE ASSUME IF YOU we it, is that you can’t really he wouldn’t believe us. So treat more than one probI asked my friend Andrew, HAVE EXPERIENCE RUNNING lem at once very easily. For an engineer who looks like COCA-COLA THAT YOU’RE instance, when I have a flare, Erik the Red, to show up 10 I get a lot of ulcers in my GONNA BE GREAT AT RUNNING minutes before an inspecdigestive system. There’s tion, cross his giant arms, A CANNABIS COMPANY.” an open wound in my large and stroke his red beard. i n t e st i n e , a n d I ’m a l s o Just like that, we got passed. bleeding. Western medicine It was kind of amazing. would want to give me prednisone to get my inflammation under control, but you can’t really do antibiotics Portland has a long history of progressive ideals in at the same time easily, and you can’t really address the regards to LGBTQ rights and protections. Does that bleeding. One of the powers of Chinese herbs is that I extend to the cannabis industry? can address all those at once. And cannabis is obviously a With regard to homophobia, I feel like it’s actually been great anti-inflammatory. It helps with the smooth-mus- more from women, which has been interesting because cle spasms that go along with an inflammatory bowel. there are feminist aspects to the cannabis industry and its politics. In the beginning, we thought, wow, this is a

women-run space and we have an opportunity to have all these women-run companies and we’re gonna support each other! Then it kind of moved into this aesthetically hyper-feminine, gender-driven space. As a queer company, we felt kind of excluded from that, like we’re not pretty or stylish enough to be part of that clique. In a sense, I felt excluded from the women-run companies because we’re queer, and I felt excluded from the menrun companies because we’re women. We’re just in this kind of interesting place in the middle.

What advice would you give to other women and LGBTQIA entrepreneurs starting out in the cannabis industry?

Find some allies. Mentorship is really huge, and I think that’s why it’s been so hard for women to crack into any industry, especially science, technology and business.

Men have built-in mentorship opportunities. Women have to look for them, ask for them, and be explicit about it. Try to seek that out. And make sure you have support from outside the queer community. Like, what would we have done without Andrew? We would have died on that hill. And having people outside of the industry who are female or queer who can go to bat for you is key. There will be so many ways you’ll have to interlay with other industries, it’s good to have stepping stones.

How is Peak Extracts addressing disparities caused by cannabis prohibition?

We are completely blind to cannabis convictions when hiring, and we are very vocal about it. We don’t have a very large team, but as we expand we are trying to be thoughtful. It’s crucial moving forward that we try to right some of these wrongs. One of the biggest problems in the cannabis industry right now is that people assume if you have experience running Coca-Cola that you’re gonna be great at running a cannabis company. There’s just a lot of things that are different about cannabis than any other industry.

We should be hiring in as much as possible.

What are you reading in quarantine?

A steady diet of trashy lesbian romance novels.

BUY: Shop Peak Extracts’ strain-specific hemp products at peakextracts.com.

Willamette Week MAY 27, 2020 wweek.com

25

C O U R T E S Y O F F O R WA R D A R T I S T M A N A G E M E N T

MUSIC HOTSEAT

Coronalandia Carrie Brownstein is back in Portland, and she’s watching you quarantine.

BY M ATT H E W SI N G E R

msinger @wweek.com

Carrie Brownstein swears she didn’t hoard toilet paper.

She totally could have, too. Coming back to the States in early March following a European tour with her band, Sleater-Kinney, the singer, guitarist, actress and writer got a preview of what was heading America’s way, giving her a jump on the frenzied panic buying that soon followed, but she insists she stuck mostly to dry goods.

So, what does a creative polymath do when stuck with a bunch of extra time on her hands?

Well, not much really. Like a lot of people, Brownstein, who moved back to Portland from Los Angeles last summer, hasn’t been nearly as productive in quarantine as she hoped.

She occasionally works on a screenplay and helped develop an environmentalist website, the Green New Real. Mostly, though, she’s baked banana bread, cleaned out junk drawers and gone on hikes with her dog, Cricket.

In truth, Brownstein probably needed the break. Almost a year ago, her longtime bandmate, drummer Janet Weiss, quit Sleater-Kinney just before the start of the promotional cycle for The Center Won’t Hold, the band’s second album since its 2015 reunion, a situation Brownstein is still reticent to discuss. She was supposed to go on the road with Wilco this summer, but that’s obviously off.

Left without many obligations, Brownstein has picked back up on an old hobby: observing Portlanders in their natural habitat. WW caught up with Brownstein to talk about what she finds funny about Portland in a pandemic, the impact of the coronavirus on music culture, and where Sleater-Kinney goes from here.

WW: Where were you and what was going on in your life when everything started to shut down?

Carrie Brownstein: Sleater-Kinney was on tour in Europe.

That was in mid- and late February, and everything still felt very vague and abstract, like something that was happening elsewhere. But when we flew home right at the beginning of March, I remember leaving from Amsterdam, and the airport was very strange. People were starting to wear masks, and usually international flights are pretty crowded or sold out, and there were fewer people on it. I was supposed to go to South by Southwest, and I remember telling my friend who lives in Austin, “I think the festival will be canceled.” And she said, “There’s no way.” It was this strange turning point.

Everything just happened so rapidly once it was starting. I think I settled in pretty quickly, having been in Europe and seeing things start to take shape there. I went to the grocery store and stocked up and missed some of the frenzied binge shopping. I did not hoard toilet paper, for the record.

So what have you been doing now to sort of pass the time and keep yourself sane the past two months?

Like many people, I had a lot of really high-minded [plans].

I am supposed to be—and I am, occasionally—working on a screenplay, but what I’ve really been doing is things like making banana bread, repainting my front porch, restaining and sanding my front door, cleaning out closets. The thing I guess I’m most proud of is, I and a Portland artist named Harrell Fletcher, a woman named Salty Xi Jie Ng from Shanghai, and this guy Eric John Olson made this website called the Green 26

Willamette Week MAY 27, 2020 wweek.com

THE DOG/THE BODY: Carrie Brownstein with her dog, Cricket.

New Real, which addresses the nexus of climate change and coronavirus. That was definitely the most productive thing I’ve done, and it’s with the help of a lot of other people.

Have you done anything weird either out of like insanity or boredom or some combination of the two since you’ve been locked indoors?

Cleaning out a junk drawer is right on the edge of insanity because it’s already a site of chaos. To try to make sense of it feels a little weird, but I did.

What have you observed about how Portland has reacted to this crisis?

We’re a bunch of rule followers. I’ve found that people on the West Coast tend to have a strong belief in science, have faith in our political leaders, for the most part, and definitely faith in doctors. But the thing that I really noticed is front porch and front yard hangs. Most people who live in a house make their backyard a place that you want to hang out because it’s private. All of a sudden, I started seeing lawn chairs out in the front. Sometimes when I go on a walk, I feel like I’m part of a parade for other people. Especially early on, when there was this sense of loneliness and isolation and we weren’t sure when we were going to have access to people, I just really started noticing people would put the chairs as close to the front grass strip as possible, just for that little ounce of communication, that little hello.

It’s going to be a long time before you, or pretty much any other musician, perform on a stage in front of a crowd again. What effect do you feel like that is going to have on music culture?

A musician is a tenuous career to begin with. And if you think about not only the musicians but the people who work in clubs, this is an infrastructure that feels very fragile. I hope that, like a lot of things, it reminds us of the value of those kinds of in-person experiences. The only option right now are live streams or maybe someone plays a song on Instagram live, but you just can’t replicate or replace standing in a venue with your friends and listening to live music and hav-

ing it permeate you on a cellular level. I agree that it will be a long time coming and probably one of the first indicators of normalcy, but I think my bigger worry is that to even frame anything as “normal,” we have to redefine what that’s going to be. So I don’t know how it will come back or what it will look like, but I hope it’s a semblance of what it was before.

This album cycle for Sleater-Kinney seemed particularly tumultuous, and it’s now getting cut short. Where does this leave the band?

It leaves us in a place where we just need to keep writing and looking toward the future. Corin and I have been writing— first, we were writing together and now we’re sort of writing in a socially distanced way, which is not ideal, but it works.

But it’s definitely hard to imagine what the future looks like.

It’s a strange time to write anything. In terms of those bigger things where you’re punting the deadline, you’re like, “What am I releasing this into? What world?” It kind of feels like you’re writing for Martians or some species that we don’t really understand the psyche of.

Janet Weiss’ departure was surprisingly acrimonious for a lot of fans. Where is that relationship now?

There was so much energy spent on that narrative that was such a distraction, I’m not really interested in talking about it.

Well, then let me ask this: What has being in isolation taught you about yourself ?

It has definitely reminded me that I am an introvert. But it’s also placed a value on my friendships and, in some ways, even people who I wouldn’t normally see, like people who live in other cities. I think it’s also showcased for me just how little I need—that it really just boils down to friendship and feeling loved and, like, being able to cook for myself. There’s a certain resilience that sets in, and a lot of the superfluous stuff goes away and you just think, oh, this is fine, I don’t need as much as I thought I did.

See the full video interview with Carrie Brownstein at wweek.com/distant-voices.

PERFORMANCE

BOOKS

Editor: Andi Prewitt / Contact: aprewitt@wweek.com COURTESY OF STEVEN WILBER

HOTSEAT

Laugh On Comic Steven Wilber may not be able to perform in front of a live audience, but he can still make you laugh with his first album, 16 Bits.

BY JAY H O RTO N

@hortland

It’s a funny sort of time to sell a comedy album.

The temporary shuttering of standup venues in response to the COVID-19 pandemic may have sent demand surging for local talents’ material in the form of everything from Zoom sessions to recordings. So it seems the release of Steven Wilber’s debut comedy album is perfectly timed for the era we’re in—the only problem is, there’s no way to hold a live show to mark the occasion.

Just three years after first grabbing an open mic, the Spokane emigrant was anointed one of WW’s Funniest Five in 2014, and the following year, he was also listed among the Fresh New Faces annually selected by the world’s largest humor festival, Just for Laughs. Given all of that, it’s a little hard to believe he hasn’t made an album until now. Helium Comedy Records helped make that possible by offering to capture his 2018 set at Helium’s Southeast Portland club, resulting in a collection of playfully digressive flights of fancy, jazz radio patter and pull-out couches with sordid pasts now available for purchase under the title 16 Bits.

WW: Seems like the perfect time for a comedy record?

Steven Wilbur: I would hope so. Didn’t really plan it this way. I thought an album release show would’ve been really cool, but that’s obviously not going to pan out.

And you’re not going on the road…

As of recently, my touring schedule’s pretty light. [Laughter] Honestly, I’ve been so bogged down with the day job that I haven’t really had the opportunity for traditional comedy tours. I’ll spend a week at different clubs in L.A. or Austin, but my material’s a little…off compared to what people in flyover states might want. I may not be best suited for that type of place.

What is the day job?

An office position at a moving company, but, well, I actually just resigned a couple of days ago. They started wanting people to come back, and I did not feel comfortable with that.

You’re a full-time comedian!

I guess? Technically? In reality, I’m just an unemployed comedian.

What’s the difference?

Very little. Remote jobs are tricky to manage, but they’re perfect for comedians. We don’t need daytime to do comedy. We do that at night. If we can work from home or the hotel room on the road somewhere, that’s the ideal gig.

You’re trained in social distancing.

Oh, yeah, from an early age. I knew avoiding people was going to come in handy one day.

STEVEN WILBER

What’s the immediate future of standup?

Ooof. Right now? Shaky. People are trying their best to keep that energy going Zooming live shows over the internet. Some of them are pretty funny, but the vibe is different. The audience isn’t there. They’re all in separate rooms. And, rarely does a person laugh watching TV by themselves. You’ve got to have that group environment for contagious laughter to build.

No matter what?

My sets aren’t very dependent upon asking people where they’re from or what they do for a living. I could do what I do in front of one person, although there would probably be an energy shift because I was bummed only one person showed up.

Audiences of one might be the answer, though?

I think that some people are going to try to do that. It’s going to be weird, but, you know, more power to ’em.

Did you listen to comedy albums growing up?

No. That was definitely something I was not into. Gramma would play some Cosby albums, but we don’t talk about it.

I was actually never a big standup person until my early 20s, when a girl I liked made me watch a bunch of Mitch Hedberg and Jim Gaffigan.

Are there advantages to making an album as opposed to a video?

The [former] form has a background quality, you know?

You can ingest [an album] like a podcast—meaning, you know, during your commute or at work. Live your life around comedy the whole time! With video, you need to use your eyes as well. That’s a 100 percent increase in sensing.

Ever think about returning to sketch comedy?

If I came up with an idea for a video people might watch, something that would really make them laugh, I’ll pursue that whatever the medium. As long as I’m achieving that goal, it’s going to be fine.

So what was your purpose for this album?

After almost seven years of standup, I wanted a record, like, these are the things I worked on all the time. I want a time to prove to people I did this.

Any pandemic jokes?

Oh, too soon.

And, one day, you’ll play this album for your own grandkids?

Nah. I hope they play it at my funeral.

Isn’t laughter the best medicine?

Antibiotics are pretty good.

SEE IT: 16 Bits is available to purchase on Amazon Prime, Bandcamp and iTunes. The album also streams on Amazon Music Unlimited and Spotify. $10.

Written by: Scout Brobst / Contact: sbrobst@wweek.com

FIVE BOOKS TO READ TO GET INTO THE CREATIVE MOOD On Not Being Able to Paint, Marion Milner There is actually some clinical research behind why you vowed to write or crochet or immerse yourself in claymation with all your hours in quarantine and why it hasn’t happened. Psychoanalyst Marion Milner’s study, first published in 1950, is a classic of the genre, meditating on why it is that we have every intention to create and still trip at the first hurdle.

Milner’s writing is fluid and selfreferential, reading like a finely crafted journal, and works through the disillusionment of creativity as she attempts to take up painting later in life. It may give some solace to those who have not spent the pandemic writing the next King Lear.

Theory of Colours, Johann Wolfgang von Goethe If there were ever a time to read hundreds of pages of dense, philosophical poetry on color theory, it would be now—just maybe not all at once. Goethe’s dissection of the color wheel is best consumed in small bites, a dozen pages or so at a time, if only to remind yourself that beautiful writing can be borne out of anything. Goethe writes that blue is a “kind of contradiction between excitement and repose” and that red “exhibits a bright landscape in so dreadful a hue as to inspire sentiments of awe.” As you read the way Goethe interacts with color, as an artist and a critic, you may draw your attention to the finer points of whatever creative pursuit you have decided is your calling.

On Writing, Stephen King It’s not easy to write a good book on writing. The vantage point is already a losing game, with authors congratulating themselves on their successes and deciding it is their duty to educate the masses. Somehow, Stephen King pulls it off. Written in 2000, On Writing is both a memoir and a guidebook, doling out aggressively practical advice and brutal truths on “the craft,” while reflecting honestly on the turbulent nature of his own career. It’s a book that can be finished in a day, or even a long afternoon, and you’ll be a better writer for it.

Too Much and Not the Mood, Durga Chew-Bose In 1931, Virginia Woolf ended one diary entry questioning whether anything she could produce would be worthy of an audience, or worthy of writing at all. “I have no pen and not much to say,” she wrote. “Or rather too much and not in the mood.” It is from this sentiment that Durga Chew-Bose wrote her debut essay collection, which in the sum of its parts is an ode to the creative life. Woolf’s words are repurposed for a new class of artists, and Chew-Bose is unself-conscious when she lapses into the personal—observations about love, heartbreak and identity are just as important as they were a century ago. Just embrace that the seesaw of self-importance will still be there.

A Backward Glance, Edith Wharton While not necessarily a book about art, Edith Wharton’s autobiography is certainly a book about creation and what it means to live a life creating. A Backward Glance is as rich and decadent as the fiction Wharton produced throughout her career. The first woman to be awarded the Pulitzer Prize for Fiction, Wharton reflects on both her public and private lives, and gives rare insight into friendships with Gilded Age artists like Henry James and Isadora Duncan—a testament to the idea that proximity to creativity may be just as important as natural born talent.

Willamette Week MAY 27, 2020 wweek.com

27

MOVIES

SCREENER

COURTESY OF AIFF

G ET YOUR REP S IN

Editor: Andi Prewitt / Contact: aprewitt@wweek.com

While local rep theaters are out of commission, we’ll be putting together weekly watchlists of films readily available to stream. This week’s theme centers on documentaries teeming with empathy and compassion that aim to open our eyes and our hearts and, hopefully, make us feel a little less alone in the world.

Shirkers (2018) When 19-year-old Singaporean filmmaker Sandi Tan asked her film mentor for help directing her independent feature, she never imagined he would run away with the footage, never to be heard from again.

Decades later, Tan has found the film reels, and uses that deeply personal betrayal to investigate the ways in which those in power silence the marginalized. Netflix.

Cameraperson (2016) With over 50 cinematography credits to her name, documentarian Kirsten Johnson has collected a plethora of unforgettable footage over her 20-year career. But this particular film is a standout, serving as both an intimate autobiography and a discourse on media ethics while weaving mesmerizing images from around the globe into a docucollage. Amazon Prime, Criterion Channel, Google Play, iTunes, Vudu, YouTube.

Stories We Tell (2012) As the great Joan Didion said, “We tell ourselves stories in order to live.” And writerdirector Sarah Polley does just that—this wildly inventive docu-memoir about her own family’s secrets is a maze of twists and turns, and Polley is constantly pulling the rug out from under the viewer. Amazon Prime, Google Play, iTunes, Kanopy, Tubi, Vudu, YouTube.

Grey Gardens (1975)

C I N É TA M A R I S

This documentary staple focuses on Jackie Kennedy relatives “Big Edie” and “Little Edie,” an isolated mother-daughter duo who lived in the dilapidated Grey Gardens estate.

Directors Albert and David Maysles, Ellen Hovde, and Muffie Meyer’s direct cinema approach ensured the pair were allowed to speak for themselves, rather than be mocked for entertainment. Amazon Prime, Criterion Channel, Google Play, Hulu, iTunes, Vudu, YouTube.

Uncle Yanco (1967) It would be blasphemous to exclude auteur Agnès Varda from a list of documentaries—this 18-minute short chronicles the first meeting with her long-lost uncle Jean, nicknamed Yanco. Brimming with vibrant color, unconditional love, and that classic Varda joie de vivre. Criterion Channel, Vimeo.

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Willamette Week MAY 27, 2020 wweek.com

THE SHOW MUST GO ON: Some 30 feature films and 100 shorts stream for this year’s Ashland Independent Film Festival.

Virtual Reality

The Ashland Independent Film Festival managed to pivot to all-online programming in a matter of weeks.

BY CH ANC E SOLEM-PFEIFER

@chance_s_p

Programming one installment of the Ashland Independent Film Festival takes executive director Richard Herskowitz and his team a calendar year and thousands of hours.

Planning two festivals at the same time? Only a pandemic could force them into that sort of bind.

“That was exhausting,” Herskowitz says. “For a couple weeks in early March, we were on two simultaneous tracks: moving forward with the physical festival we thought we were putting on in midApril and beginning to plot this alternate possibility.”

That alternate possibility—now the sole reality—is an entirely virtual version of the 19th annual AIFF. April’s in-person event was canceled, and AIFF began online last week where it will continue through June 14 with about 30 feature films and 100 shorts. The festival is organized around themes like activism, Asian American independent filmmaking, and global migration.

While a segment of the movie industry has responded to COVID-19 by rolling out innovative pay-per-view options and pivoting releases to streaming, Herskowitz says the prospect of moving an entire festival online within six weeks still strains his technological imagination.

“I can’t believe we’re going to pull off this reinvention,” he says. “It’s an immense relief.”

The keystone in AIFF’s new life is the service Film Festival Flix, an app that

allows users to access content through computer browsers, Roku, Apple TV and Amazon Fire TV Stick. Standard festival “visitors” pay $19.99 for a broader pass and then $3.99 or $7.99 for most feature films à la carte, which are watchable on certain days. Alternatively, purchasing a membership is the most beneficial aid to AIFF’s future, and gives viewers access to multiple feature films for free, plus invitations to ceremonies like the June 14 awards night.

While Herskowitz says he’s been heartened by member feedback and positive press (MovieMaker magazine listed AIFF as one of the Best Online Film Festivals of 2020), some financial fallout is inevitable. The executive director doubts the organization will make up the 30 percent of its annual income that comes from the physical event.

Still, from an exposure perspective, there are clear advantages to a virtual festival. For one, viewers well beyond the 7,000 who typically appear in Southern Oregon each April can participate.

Oregonians can access all the films on offer, while audiences outside the state will miss out on only a few titles due to rights issues.

Furthermore, the festival has recorded video Q&As with every exhibiting filmmaker, plus a few notable collaborators.

Presenting interviews with renowned cinematographer Ellen Kuras (Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind) or legendary editor Walter Murch (Apocalypse Now) was certainly not in the cards three months ago. In that sense, AIFF could

be getting a glimpse of how it will look in years to come.

“My strong feeling is, we’ll never go back and the future is going to be hybrid: online and onsite,” Herskowitz says. “In fact, we’re beginning to talk about keeping the Film Festival Flix site operating all year long with certain programming.”

Of course, AIFF can’t replace the in-room atmosphere of an opening or closing night. That’s a feeling Herskowitz has been gauging and mostly relishing in his 26 years of helming film festivals in Oregon, Texas and Virginia.

“The No. 1 thing people communicate to us [about the festival’s importance] is a sense of community,” he says. “That’s what I’m afraid we’ll miss the most.”

Patrons have remained supportive, though. Herskowitz says nearly no members or sponsors asked for refunds following April’s cancellation, which “could’ve broken us.”

As the chain saw on top of the sundae, Bruce Campbell is riding out the changes alongside AIFF. The iconic star of the Evil Dead movies and longtime Southern Oregonian was slated to close the festival by awarding $10,000 in prize money.

Now, he’ll do it on Zoom, which Herskowitz considers a vote of confidence: “He was one of many who said, ‘I’m following you online, I’m there for you.’”

SEE IT: For a complete schedule and to buy tickets for the Ashland Independent Film Festival, visit ashlandfilm.org. Through Sunday, June 14.

May 27-June 2 COURTESY OF NETFLIX

OUR KEY

: T H I S M O V I E I S E XC E L L E N T, O N E O F T H E B E S T O F T H E Y E A R. : T H I S M O V I E I S G O O D. W E R E C O M M E N D YO U WATC H I T. : T H I S M O V I E I S E N T E R TA I N I N G B U T F L AW E D. : T H I S M O V I E I S A P I E C E O F S H I T.

TOP PICK OF THE WEEK

Have a Good Trip: Adventures in Psychedelics Most people agree you don’t have to take acid to find out what it’s like—countless song lyrics, at least one adventurous friend, or even Google will tell you all you need to know. Donick Cary’s Netflix doc uses a treasure trove of celebrities to go into more detail, allowing the subjects to spin funny anecdotes about how cool, singular and harmless LSD trips really are.

Although Have a Good Trip aims for lighthearted entertainment rather than presenting a scientific thesis, you walk away feeling like it might be safe to give it a try—or give it a second go. As stars like A$AP Rocky, David Cross and Ben Stiller describe themselves tripping balls, revue-style reenactments and ’60s album cover-inspired animation play on the screen. The nowdeceased Carrie Fisher and Anthony Bourdain have some of the more memorable stories, the latter’s involving a road trip, shrooms and an almost-dead stripper. Nick Offerman serves as host, wearing a lab coat while explaining, “Don’t get me wrong, drugs can be dangerous. But they can also be hilarious.” A couple slow sections aside, Cary’s directorial debut passes the acid test with flying colors. TV-MA. ASHER LUBERTO. Netflix.

ALSO PLAYING

Driveways

Bad Education

Gentle and touching, the second feature from Korean American director Andrew Ahn is a warm embrace of a movie when we need it most. This low-key drama works as an examination of how small acts of kindness can result in great rewards, and provides a coda to Brian Dennehy’s rich career following the actor’s death last month. He plays Del, a Korean War veteran and widower perfectly content to spend his final days on the front porch watching shadows dance on his driveway as life passes by, until a single mother, Kathy (Hong Chau), and her 8-year-old son, Cody (Lucas Jaye), arrive next door. Kathy is there to clean out her dead sister’s home and get it ready to place on the market. That leads her son to form an unlikely yet touching bond with the old man, since he desperately needs both a friend and father figure. While mismatched buddies are a common trope in indie pictures, Driveways gives Cody and Del texture, and the actors flesh out their roles with stellar, subdued depictions. “I wish I took the time to take a good look at stuff,” Del explains in a tear-jerking monologue in which he shares life advice with the boy. He’s talking about relishing what’s in front of you before it’s gone, a kernel of wisdom for those watching Dennehy’s final, deeply moving performance.

NR. ASHER LUBERTO. Amazon Prime, Google Play, YouTube.

Midway through this school embezzlement saga based on a true story, Cory Finley’s sophomore film (following 2018’s Thoroughbreds) breaks out its version of a Goodfellas montage. Elvis Presley croons “Blue Christmas,” but in lieu of cocaine packing, we see PTA baskets stuffed.

And instead of cash counting, a PowerPoint presentation shows off early-decision college acceptance rates. It’s a dash ironic, but the HBO original is critically revealing how corruption can guzzle accomplishment as its fuel. Embodying that consumption is charismatic superintendent Frank Tassone (Hugh Jackman), who strives to keep his Long Island school district’s reputation gleaming despite a brewing scandal. Backed by Allison Janney and Ray Romano, Jackman inhabits his best mode here: a gifted ringleader with a dry rot problem.

Every lie is wrapped in an ideal, and it takes the full film to figure out which came first: the ideal or the lie. And while there’s not a gun, narcotic or punch in the entire film, Bad Education is a crime movie with guts.

After all, it’s easy to critique conspicuously wealthy South Shore hypocrites, but connecting those trappings to more widely accepted American aspirations—blue-ribbon public schools and the high-achieving students they produce—well, that’s a far more bitter pill. There hasn’t been a smarter streaming original this quarantine season. TV-MA. CHANCE SOLEMPFEIFER. Amazon Prime, HBO.

Arkansas If you know Clark Duke only as the bespectacled fourth wheel of the Hot Tub Time Machine movies, you

HAVE A GOOD TRIP: ADVENTURES IN PSYCHEDELICS might not assume he has a Southern noir in his bag, much less one with the crime-movie literacy of Donnie Brasco and a Flaming Lips soundtrack.

Duke’s directorial debut, a Lionsgate release redirected to VOD this month, fields a stacked cast of Arkansas drug runners: Liam Hemsworth and Duke as our two flunky protagonists, and Vince Vaughn, John Malkovich, Vivica A. Fox and Michael K. Williams as compelling higher-ups. And what this adaptation of John Brandon’s 2009 novel lacks in production value—shot with the overly digital flimsiness of so many streaming originals—it more than makes up for with well-tuned dialogue and acting that embraces a Southern gentility right up until it’s bashing those good manners over the head.

Replacing the near-gothic seriousness of a True Detective is the loony banality of drug-smuggler movie nights, sweaty man buns, fireworks emporiums and Vaughn spending probably half the movie’s budget on flamboyant Western button-downs. Despite an epic structure that jumps through time, Arkansas remains light on its feet and successfully normalizes criminal life by presenting the same unreliable coworkers, thankless chores, and finite shelf lives of any other profession. R. CHANCE SOLEM-PFEIFER. Amazon Prime, iTunes, On Demand.

Blood Quantum For as long as one side’s been the horde and the other survivors, the zombie narrative has been ripe for moral and political bite, critiquing slavery, consumerism, global warming and more. Now, for an urgent indigenous people’s take on the genre, writer-director Jeff Barnaby (Rhymes for Young Ghouls) brings the zombie outbreak to a fictionalized version of his place of origin: the Mi’gmaq reserve in Quebec. On its face, Blood Quantum is a capably directed smalltown bloodbath, and a fitting entry in the horror film library. There’s a katana in the mix and an upstanding police officer, and the acting ranges from serviceable to apocalyptically ominous on the parts of Kiowa Gordon (The Red Road) and Gary Farmer (Dead Man).

Mostly, it’s the point of view that elevates Blood Quantum, bringing something new to the reanimated-corpse thriller. Without much explicit commentary, Barnaby’s film asks how a community under centuries of duress

can confront a new threat that resembles old perils: diseased blankets, broken bargains and poisoned natural resources. “I’m not leaving this land again,” proclaims a Mi’gmaq defender during a pivotal stand. You won’t know whether to pump your fist or dry your eyes. NR. CHANCE SOLEM-PFEIFER. Amazon Prime, Shudder.

The High Note Maggie Sherwood (Dakota Johnson) has hit a wall in her job as a personal assistant. After several years of mindless errands for her boss/hero, superstar Grace Davis (Tracee Ellis Ross, daughter of Motown singer Diana Ross), Maggie can no longer repress her aspirations to become a music producer. But backlash from Davis’ manager (Ice Cube) and the intimidating statistic that just 2.1 percent of music producers are women threaten to dash her dreams. What anchors the film is the romance between Maggie and her client David (Kelvin Harrison Jr.). Johnson expertly blurs the line between confident and terrified, while Harrison’s smooth-talking musician harbors a sweetly nervous side, alchemizing some lovely chemistry. Though bogged down by clichéd dialogue and a wonky twist, Flora Greeson’s script deserves credit for being one of the few stories about the music industry told from a strictly female perspective. This is familiar territory for director Nisha Ganatra, who also helmed 2019’s Late Night, a comedy about being the sole woman of color in a writers’ room. The High Note follows in those footsteps: It’s harmless and well-intentioned, and relies on the talent of its leads to carry the plot. PG-13. MIA VICINO. On Demand.

The Lovebirds At one point in The Lovebirds, Jibran (Kumail Nanjiani) comments on the dramatic misadventures he’s suddenly found himself in with soon-tobe-ex-girlfriend Leilani (Issa Rae): “This is like The Amazing Race, but with dead people.” And that’s essentially what you get from this film. Nanjiani and director Michael Showalter last paired up in the award-winning The Big Sick, and though the talented Showalter has two dream leads in Rae and Nanjiani, The Lovebirds never elevates itself beyond “this is fine” ter-

ritory. The plot involves Jibran and Leilani getting thrown into a convoluted conspiracy mere moments after agreeing to break up, sending them on the run from both the law and a mysterious killer played by Paul Sparks (Waco, House of Cards). While the desire to sit back and let Nanjiani and Rae shine is perfectly understandable, The Lovebirds consists of little more than throwing its highly talented stars into increasingly ridiculous situations and letting them riff upon said ridiculousness. This results in some funny moments, but overall The Lovebirds is another average—if somewhat charming—entry in the ever-growing content receptacle that is the Netflix library. R. DONOVAN FARLEY. Netflix.

Spaceship Earth Somewhere around the time eight kinda-sorta scientists run out of oxygen in their own biosphere, you’re likely to get frustrated that this NeonHulu documentary doesn’t allow its utterly unique story to be more interesting. The petri dish certainly swims with fascinating variables, as a caravan of Bay Area thespians turns into mechanical geniuses, sailing entrepreneurs and ’90s news staples as they seal themselves in an Arizona biome for two years. They were after something grand but confused: scientific breakthrough without proper data, radical environmentalism funded by an oil fortune, and a sense of community without any real-world outreach.

The troupe’s 16 mm footage spanning the ’60s through the ’90s is certainly a marvel in its own right, but the great sin of Matt Wolf’s documentary is that it puts no effort into clearing up a story obfuscated by ideals with no names and missions with no goals. It’s not as though the doc needs to find the biospherists guilty of cultish behavior to be worthwhile, but the amount of pseudo-scientific or vaguely inspirational hooey the film lets slide without clarification or exploration flatly defeats the purpose.

“There’s all this stuff, and what’s gonna happen?” Biosphere 2 botanist Linda Leigh defines the group’s “alternative” approach to science. That pretty much sums up Spaceship Earth’s approach, too. NR. CHANCE SOLEM-PFEIFER. Amazon Prime, Google Play, Hulu, YouTube.

Willamette Week MAY 27, 2020 wweek.com

29

Spotlight

COURTESY OF THE ARTIST

Featured artist: Riddick Vodiddicka

Submissions in Regal Entertainment Group’s fan art poster contest for the movie Riddick, starring Vin Diesel.

Be a Willamette Week featured artist!

Contact us at art@wweek.com.

HASTA LA VISTA, BABY

by DJ Acid Rick (R.I.P.)

1. Oingo Boingo Home Again 2. Lars Falk Nothing Is the Same 3. The Residents - Sorry 4. Information Society Closing In 5. Data-Bank-A The Beginning of the End

30

Willamette Week MAY 27, 2020 wweek.com

6. Killing Joke - A New Day 7. DEVO - Here To Go 8. John Maus Head For the Country 9. Iron Maiden Wasted Years 10. Agent Orange This Is Not the End

Share your own Top 10 playlist!

ART@WWEEK.COM

JONESIN’

Week of MAY 27

©2020 Rob Brezsny

by Matt Jones

"Free Is a Very Good Price" - last themeless till the big one.

ARIES (March 21-April 19)

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

"The best of my nature reveals itself in play, and play is sacred," wrote the feisty Aries author Karen Blixen, who sometimes used the pen name Isak Dinesen. The attitude described in that statement helps illuminate the meaning of another one of her famous quotations: "I do not think that I could ever really love a woman who had not, at one time or another, been up on a broomstick." In my interpretation of this humorous remark, Blixen referred to the fact that she had a strong preference for witchy women with rascally magical ways. I bring this to your attention, Aries, because I'm inviting you to cultivate a Blixen-like streak of sacred play and sly magic in the coming days.

According to my analysis of the astrological omens, the coming weeks will be a favorable time for you to seek out, seduce, and attract luck. To inspire you in this holy task, I'll provide a prayer written

by Hoodoo conjurer Stephanie Rose Bird: "O sweet luck, I call your name. Luck with force and power to make change, walk with me and talk through me.

With your help, all that can and should be will be!"

If there are further invocations you'd like to add to hers, Libra, please do. The best way to ensure that good fortune will stream into your life is to have fun as you draw it to you.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20)

ACROSS 1 Cocktail "invented" in 2020 that can include vodka, gin, honey, Emergen-C, or whatever you feel like drinking 11 Items in a self-checkout station question 15 Out of uniform 16 Model Nordegren once married to Tiger Woods 17 How long USPS bulk mail takes to get across the country 18 Only 19 Tennessee team, for short 20 Part of some fire extinguisher instructions 21 Sink to the bottom 23 Yellow bloomer with a bovine name 25 Key beside Q 27 Bishop's hat 28 Wee drink 30 Intimidating, unhelpful advice from a coach 32 "A cartoon by Robert _ _ _" (common "SNL" credit in the '90s) 35 Part of BCE 36 Org. in TV's "The Rookie" 37 Hither's counterpart 38 Sidekick and Samurai, for two

50 Hokkaido city known for its beer (and headquarters of Hokkaido Brewing Company) 51 2001 "Lady Marmalade" contributor 53 Over 57 Actress Davidovich of "Gods and Monsters" 59 Advanced deg.

14 Showed disdain for 22 CPR administrator

31 Subject of TNT's "Claws"

33 Halts

68 Part of an Einsteinian equation 69 Extra income source, informally

34 How book titles should appear when cited, per APA style 39 Video chat company based in San Jose

56 Manufacturer with a green and yellow logo

"The less you fear, the more power you will have," says the rapper known as 50 Cent. I agree with him. If you can dissolve even, say, 25 percent of your fear, your ability to do what you want will rise significantly, as will your influence and clout. But here's the major riddle: How exactly can you dissolve your fear? My answers to that question would require far more room than I have in this horoscope. But here's the really good news, Leo: In the coming weeks, you will naturally have an abundance of good insights about to dissolve your own fear. Trust what your intuition tells you. And be receptive to clues that serendipity brings you.

58 Dispensers with Braille options

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20)

For his film Parasite, Virgo filmmaker Bong Joonho received Academy Awards for Best Picture, Best Director, and Best Original Screenplay. In his natal horoscope, Joon-ho has Pluto conjunct his sun in Virgo, and during the time Parasite began to score major success, Saturn and Pluto were making a favorable transit to that powerful point in his chart.

I'm expecting the next six months to be a time when you can make significant progress toward your own version of a Joon-ho style achievement. In what part of your life is that most likely to happen? Focus on it.

Feed it. Love it.

To protect ourselves and others from the pandemic, most of us have been spending more time than usual at home—often engaged in what amounts to enforced relaxation. For some of us, that has been a problem.

But I'm going to propose that it will be the opposite of a problem for you in the next three weeks. In my astrological opinion, your words to live by will be this counsel from author and philosopher Mike Dooley: "What if it was your downtime, your lounging-inbed-too-long time, that made possible your greatest achievements? Would they still make you feel guilty?

Or would you allow yourself to enjoy them?"

46 Water measures, when mixing condensed soup 48 Wagon wheel track

55 "Mary Tyler Moore Show" actress Georgia

60 Coleridge's "sacred river"

4 Being green, in a way

64 "Vive le _ _ _!"

5 Output from Frida Kahlo or Mary Cassatt

65 Game, in French (the plural is heard in "Games Without Frontiers")

42 Some hosp. scans

7 Namely

44 Exceed

8 "It's settled"

45 Memento accessory

9 Society page notation

47 Word before mirror or humor

10 Bugs

49 Abbr. for some Spanish teachers

12 Like huge favors

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

43 Blood-curdling cries

54 Was guilty

6 Org. whose March Madness was cancelled in 2020

Writing some Chinese characters can be quite demanding. To make "biáng," for example, which is used in the name for a certain kind of noodle, you must draw 58 separate strokes. This is a good metaphor for exactly what you should avoid in the coming weeks: spending too much time and devoting too much thought and getting wrapped up in too much complexity about trivial matters. Your focus should instead be on simple, bold approaches that encourage you to be crisp and decisive.

Singer-songwriter Jill Scott is strongly committed to her creative process. She tells us, "I was once making a burger for myself at my boyfriend’s house and a lyric started pouring out and I had to catch it, so I ran to another room to write it down, but then the kitchen caught fire. His cabinets were charred, and he was furious. But it was worth it for a song." My perspective: Scott's level of devotion to the muse is too intense for my tastes. Personally, I would have taken the burger off the stove before fleeing the scene to record my good idea. What about you, Aquarius?

According to my analysis, you're in a phase when creative ideas should flow even better than usual. Pay close attention. Be prepared to capture as much of that potentially life-altering stuff as possible.

52 Subside

41 "Chandelier" singer

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22)

1 Migos rapper who received his high school diploma in 2020 (at age 29)

3 "I don't want the issue of Hobbes's reality settled by _ _ _ manufacturer": Bill Watterson

"Wherever I am, let me never forget to distinguish want from need," vows author Barbara Kingsolver.

"Let me be a good animal," she adds. That would be a stirring prayer to keep simmering at the forefront of your awareness in the next six weeks.

According to my understanding of the astrological omens, you'll be getting clear signals about the differences between your wants and needs. You will also discover effective strategies about how to satisfy them both in the post-pandemic world, and fine intuitions about which one to prioritize at any particular time.

40 Kinda miffed

DOWN

2 Remove from packaging, a la YouTube videos

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

I've got a message for you, courtesy of poet Lisel Mueller. I think her wisdom can help you thrive in the coming weeks. She writes, "The past pushed away, the future left unimagined, for the sake of the glorious, difficult, passionate present." Of course, it's always helpful for us to liberate ourselves from the oppressive thoughts of what once was in the past and what might be in the future. But it'll be especially valuable for you to claim that superpower in the coming weeks. To the degree that you do, the present will be more glorious and passionate and not so difficult.

When Lewis Carroll's fictional heroine Alice visits the exotic underground realm known as Wonderland, she encounters two odd men named Tweedledee and Tweedledum. The latter tells her, "You know very well you’re not real." He's implying that Alice is merely a character in the dream of a man who's sleeping nearby. This upsets her. "I am real!" she protests, and breaks into tears. Tweedledum presses on, insisting she's just a phantom. Alice summons her courageous wisdom and thinks to herself, "I know they're talking nonsense, and it's foolish to cry about it." I suspect you Cancerians may have to deal with people and influences that give you messages akin to those of Tweedledum. If that happens, be like Alice.

62 Pleasant feeling, to reggae fans

67 Only state capital without a McDonald's

GEMINI (May 21-June 20)

CANCER (June 21-July 22)

32 Movement with a lot of representation?

66 Kind of pay or day

Scorpio comedian John Cleese does solo work, but many of his successful films, albums, stage shows, and TV programs have arisen from joining forces with other comedians. "When you collaborate with someone else on something creative," he testifies, "you get to places that you would never get to on your own." I propose you make this your temporary motto, Scorpio. Whatever line of work or play you're in, the coming weeks will offer opportunities to start getting involved in sterling synergies and symbioses.

To overcome the potential limitations of social distancing, make creative use of Zoom and other online video conferencing.

26 Syllable for the Swedish Chef

61 Library penalty

63 Figure not found in an appellate court

Taurus music legend Willie Nelson has played the same guitar since 1969. He calls it "my horse," and named it after Trigger, a famous horse in Hollywood films. Although Nelson still loves the tones that come from his instrument, it's neither sleek nor elegant. It's bruised with multiple stains and has a jagged gash near its sound hole. Some Tauruses want their useful things to be fine and beautiful, but not Willie. Having said that, I wonder if maybe he will finally change guitars sometime soon. For you Bulls, the coming months will be time to consider trading in an old horse for a new one.

24 Slapstick projectiles

29 Body officially demoted on August 24, 2006

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

last week’s answers

11 Request to one's heart?

13 Legendary bebop trumpeter

HOMEWORK: What's the story or song that provides you with your greatest consolation? FreeWillAstrology.com Check out Rob Brezsny’s Expanded Weekly Audio Horoscopes & Daily Text Message Horoscopes

©2020 Jonesin’ Crosswords (editor@jonesincrosswords.com) For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle #JNZ990.

freewillastrology.com The audio horoscopes are also available by phone at

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