Willamette Week, April 8, 2020 - Volume 46, Issue 24 - "Keep Calm and Make Masks"

NEWS: BREAD LINES GROW LONG. CULTURE: SWIPING RIGHT IN A PANDEMIC. FOOD: MAKE YOUR OWN MATZO. P. 8

P. 24

WILLAMETTE WEEK PORTLAND’S NEWSWEEKLY

“WE WE HAVE TO PROTECT OUR TOILET PAPER.” P. 3 WWEEK.COM

VOL 46/24 04.08.2020

KEEP CALM AND

MAKE MASKS A volunteer brigade is sewing the face coverings needed to protect Portland’s doctors and patients.

Page 11

P. 22

ORDER FOOD & DRINK FOR TAKEOUT OR DELIVERY

COVID-19 may have changed the way we do business (for now), but many of us SE Hawthorne businesses remain open. For info, call us or check us out online. (Businesses listed in approximate order of location on the boulevard, west to east, from SE 12th to SE 51st Ave.)

The Toffee Club: toffeeclubpdx.com Burgerville: locations.burgerville.com Que Pasa Cantina: quepasacantinapdx.com Lardo-East: lardosandwiches.com Tiny’s Coffee: tinys.coffee Riyadh’s Lebanese: riyadhslebaneserestaurant.com Grassa: grassapdx.com Thai Touch Cuisine: 503-232-7774

SHOP ONLINE FOR LOCAL GOODS & GIFT CERTICATES Really Good Stuff: 503-238-1838 Teascape: teascapepdx.com Hankins Hardware: 503-236-2372 Move Better Chiropractic: 503-432-1061 Farina Bakery: farinabakery.com Mudbay: mudbay.com 503-206-0323 Parting Waters: partingwatersmediation.com Wildish Botanicals: 503-206-4235; daniel@wildishpdx.com Eastside Guitar Repair: 503-232-0838; ryan@eastsideguitarrepair.com Tattoo 34: tattoo34pdx.com; 503-235-3606 Imelda’s and Louie’s Shoes: imeldas.com Postal Annex is OPEN Kids at Heart: info@kidsathearttoys.com Sloan Boutique: sloanpdx.com; 503-232-0002 Tender Loving Empire: tenderlovingempire.com Jackpot Records: jackpotrecords.com Hawthorne Games: Facebook @hawthorne game exchange In Real Life: Instagram @in_real_life_shop Sylvia’s Psychic Insight: 971-280-5387 Presents Of Mind: presentsofmind.tv Echo Theater: echotheaterpdx.org

Powell’s Books: powells.com Asylum: pdxasylum.com Adorn: adornbodyart.com/shop/ UPS Store is OPEN Fernie Brae: ferniebrae.com H&R Block: hrblock.com Mellow Mood Pipe & Tobacco: 503-235-7473 Hawthorne Auto Clinic: hawthorneauto.com Hawthorne Vision: Open for urgent emergencies 503-235-6639 Hawthorne Vintage: 503-230-2620 American Shaman: 971-678-8384 Michael Emert, CPA: 503-233-5931 Art Heads Frame Co.: 503-232-5299 Windermere Realty: 503-888-6999 Turning Pointe Acupuncture: turningpointeacu.com

hawthorneblvd.com 2

Willamette Week APRIL 8, 2020 wweek.com

Kabob: kabob.org Maruti Indian: maruti-restaurant.com Grand Central: grandcentralbakery.com HotLips Pizza: hotlipspizza.com Talarico’s Produce: 503-265-8453 Culture: culturepdx.com Sea Sweets Poke: seasweetspoke.com Tight Tacos: tighttacos.com Rovente Pizzeria: roventepizzeria.com Tarboush: tarboushbistro.com Farmhouse: farmhousethai.com Cha Cha Cha: chachachapdx.com Mt. Tabor Fine Wines: 503-235-4444 Hello India: 503-232-7880; helloindiapdx.com Seven Virtues Coffee: sevenvirtuespdx.com Fried Eggs I’m In Love: friedegglove.com Toadstool: toadstoolcupcakes.com The Waffle Window: wafflewindow.com Bread & Ink Cafe: breadandinkcafe.com Mee Gin Thai: 503-231-9898 (find on Doordash) Cider House: portlandcider.com/pdxciderhouse Straight From New York Pizza: sfnypizza.com Dwaraka: dwarakapdx.com Boba Dawg: 971-346-2420 Mio Sushi: miosushi.com Next Level Burger: nextlevelburger.com White & Green (Thai): whiteandgreenpdx.com Fat Straw: fatstrawpdx.com The Whole Bowl: thewholebowl.com/portland.html Kouzina: 503-894-8389 (find on Doordash) Hawthorne Spirits & Sundries: 503-235-1573 Eastside Deli: pdxdeli.com Apizza Scholls: apizzascholls.com The Sapphire Hotel: thesapphirehotel.com Tabor Bread: taborbread.com

UPDATED 4/8/20 | DESIGN: BECCAROOSKY.COM

FINDINGS COURTESY OF WWE

DIALOGUE Last week, WW examined the decision by Gov. Kate Brown not to include Oregon’s gun shops among the businesses that must close during the COVID-19 pandemic (“Why Is This Open? Gun Shops,” April 1, 2020). A draft order by Portland Mayor Ted Wheeler would have shuttered gun stores, but Brown avoided a culture war. Here’s what readers had to say:

BONEYARD MATCH, PAGE 19

WHAT WE LEARNED FROM READING THIS WEEK’S PAPER VOL. 46, ISSUE 24.

Elmer’s Restaurants laid off 296 people. 7

The meal line at Blanchet House stretches for several city blocks. 8 Mourners at funeral homes must stand six feet apart. 9

Dr. Michele Hetrick can sew a mask in 2 minutes and 30 seconds. 11 Outdoor stores have donated 13,000 pairs of ski goggles for use in hospitals. 13 The only movies getting made right now are related to pro wrestling. 19 Virtual bar trivia involves a lot of trash talk about other contestants’ cats. 21

Tinder has opened up its “passport function” during the pandemic, allowing users to swipe on anyone anywhere in the country. 22 One of Portland’s high-end Japanese restaurants is selling bento boxes and hand sanitizer to go to stay alive. 22 Truly kosher matzo must contain nothing but flour and water and has to be baked in under 18 minutes. 23 Bored and stoned? Have you considered making a sock puppet?

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Daniel Baldwin starred in a proofof-concept video about cheerleader werewolves from outer space. 26 Two local contestants on the Fox reality competition Lego Masters met in the Lego aisle. 27

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Portland seems frozen.

But in these five places, the city is busier than ever.

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Don Mulconey, via Facebook: “Because people are scared.

And if the shit really hits the fan, citizens have the constitutional right (any right) to defend themselves.”

BetsyToll, via week.com: “She closed toy stores and strip clubs and bookshops and everything else. How was the decision that guns are sacrosanct arrived at?

Really bad call, Kate.”

Lance Cummins, via week.com: “She made the correct call. While I may not consider a gun store ‘necessary,’ it also doesn’t matter one way or the other, and the fight that this would have caused would have served no purpose at all. Ted Wheeler should have recognized that.”

“Brown has kept the stoners stoned, the gun owners armed and the drinkers slaked.”

John Koskela, via Facebook: “While it does seem contrary that a book store is closed and a gun store is open, keep in mind, the U.S. Constitution requires some freedoms to stay in place during a crisis. Saying this does not mean I am a gun-totin’ gun nut. I’m just a regular citizen of the USA who believes the U.S. Constitution need not be abridged during a time like this.”

Michaela Specht DeRosso, via Facebook: “There’s nothing in the Constitution that says you have the right to sell guns. So, Gov. Brown

Dr. Know

should be able to just say: You have the right to have guns—but how you get them is not the state’s problem. Right?”

Mark Lore, via Facebook: “Close the fuckers down like other businesses. It’s just going to put even more guns into circulation and into the hands of paranoid, panicked people.”

David R. Shapiro, via Facebook: “Kate Brown has done a good job through this pandemic. It’s important for people to feel safe as well as self-reliant. Brown has kept the stoners stoned, the gun owners armed and the drinkers slaked. AND she did a solid for New York. I didn’t like her much before COVID19, but Kate Brown has been gaining approval in my little world.”

Junior Alvarez, via Facebook: “We have to protect our toilet paper.”

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BY MART Y SMITH @martysmithxxx

My grandson recently got a D in high school chemistry, prompting dire warnings from his mother (my daughter) about his “permanent record.”

However, in 1975, I too got a D in high school chemistry, seemingly with no ill effects. Are high school transcripts permanent? Could that D yet come back to haunt me? —Andrew K. Now that you mention it, Andrew, I’m pretty sure I got a D in high school chemistry as well.

(You might want to keep that to yourself, though—no sense in providing your daughter with further evidence that folks like us inevitably grow up to be miserable, stunted husks.)

Ten years of my droning on about Kay Kyser and Metamucil has ensured that no one under the age of 50 reads this column, so we can be frank: One’s “permanent record,” like the bogeyman, Santa Claus and the law that “it’s illegal to drive with the dome light on,” is just another made-up thing we tell kids to get them to behave.

Fortunately, younger kids are quite gullible, because in real life literally anything you do before ninth grade—including murder, provided you can get your juvenile records expunged—might as well have never happened.

I have mentioned before that, due to a clerical error, I was admitted to and attended Reed College, where several of my classmates had failed and repeated whole grades in elemen-

tary school. When you’re a kid, being left back sounds like a life-ruining harvest of shame—a one-way ticket to Palookaville, even—but it turns out it’s no big deal.

One’s high school record, however, does matter, if only for a moment: Someone will look at it when (if?) you’re applying to college. Even then, though, one D isn’t a problem unless it’s part of a pattern suggesting you’re lazy, stupid or both. And if you are those things, your life is screwed whether you get into that prestigious college or not. (Trust me on this one.)

Thus, by the time you graduate high school, it’s highly likely no one will ever look at your high school transcript again. It’s still around—

by Oregon law, student records must be retained for 75 years—but because such records are confidential, the only way anyone is going to see it is if you yourself demand a copy. And even then, good luck getting anyone to look.

QUESTIONS? Send them to dr.know@wweek.com Willamette Week APRIL 8, 2020 wweek.com

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MURMURS

“THANK YOU, WW! Independent and local journalism is vital to maintaining democracy and our communities, especially in times of crisis.” – Vicki

“I only pay for things I use, and I use WW.” – Bill

“Thank you for the quality, practical, and thought-provoking journalism you produce on a regular basis. We are rooting for you!!”

- Audreann

HERNANDEZ LOSES ENDORSEMENT: NARAL Pro Choice Oregon has withdrawn its endorsement of Rep. Diego Hernandez (D-East Portland) after WW reported last month that he was the subject of a restraining order alleging violent behavior while drunk.

Hernandez is on the ballot in May, running unopposed for the Democratic Party nomination in his district. (The restraining order has since been dismissed.) Hernandez has taken a leave of absence from the Legislature—he’s still being paid, as required by statute. “Over the next several weeks I too am going to stay home and take a leave/ step back from my legislative duties to have time to reflect on the past, seek guidance and work on my physical and emotional health,” Hernandez wrote in an April 2 letter to colleagues. “Time will allow me to focus on my next steps.”

wweek.com/support

LAUDERDALE

Be my rock Maloy’s offers a fabulous selection of antique and estate jewelry. For now, you can browse online, then email us at shop@maloys.com for details. Be well!

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Willamette Week APRIL 8, 2020 wweek.com

LAUDERDALE BLASTS CRUMPACKER: Thomas Lauderdale, founder of the band Pink Martini, is a politically active progressive, but he joined numerous rock-ribbed Republicans in contributing to the campaign of Jimmy Crumpacker, a Portlander who recently moved to Bend and is running in the GOP primary to succeed retiring U.S. Rep. Greg Walden (R-Ore.). But on April 3, Lauderdale sent Crumpacker an email, which he copied to dozens of prominent Portlanders, expressing regret he’d given Crumpacker $250. “The advertising you’ve mounted for your campaign demonstrates no desire to build bridges, or cross party lines,” Lauderdale wrote. “In fact, it is quite the opposite. I would go so far as to say it is racist, xenophobic and antiAmerican. Therefore, I must ask for my donation back.”

Crumpacker and Lauderdale could not be reached for comment.

CONSTRUCTION CREW WALKS OFF HAYWARD FIELD: Oregon’s construction industry, which employs more than 100,000 workers, is still on the job—it isn’t

included in Gov. Kate Brown’s stay-home order (“Work in Progress,” WW, April 1, 2020). The owner of one company working on the renovation of Hayward Field at the University of Oregon told WW this week that his employees felt it was impossible to work safely. When he notified the company that hired his crew, he was told his contract was canceled. Hoffman Construction, general contractor on the project, insists safety is its highest priority. But the subcontractor, who asked to remain anonymous, wonders whether fixing up an athletic facility is worth endangering workers’ health: “I don’t see how it would cause a problem to shut down for a few weeks.”

PORTLAND DRIVERS FLOUT SPEED LIMITS: Portlanders are driving too fast on the city’s empty roads, the Portland Police Bureau says. Data shows speeders driving more than 31 miles per hour over the speed limit has spiked from two citations on Feb. 9 to 29 citations on March 29.

On that same day, 90 people citywide were cited for driving 21 to 30 miles per hour over the speed limit, as opposed to 44 on Feb. 9. Four people were cited on March 29 for speeding 100 or more miles per hour. Speeders persisted this week, the bureau says.

INDEPENDENTS HOLD INNOVATIVE PRIMARY: Oregon receives due credit for being the first state to conduct its elections entirely by mail, but the state’s 125,000-member Independent Party is taking innovation to a new level. The party will open its primary to all non-affiliated and minorparty members, meaning 1 million voters who belong to neither to the Independent Party of Oregon nor the two major parties get to participate in an election to be held online and will use ranked-choice voting, which allows voters to express their relative support for all candidates for a particular office, not just vote for one. “Given the impact of COVID-19 on elections around the country, we believe it’s important to continue pushing the envelope of what is possible with technology in elections,” says IPO secretary Sal Peralta.

“Our primary election is a real-world test of some alternatives.”

When staying home is important, staying connected matters.

Whether you need to check in on family, video-chat with coworkers or just take a minute to relax with your favorite shows and movies, Xfinity has you covered with fast, reliable Internet. We’ll send you a free Self-Install Kit to make setup quick, safe and easy. No tech visit required. And our simple digital tools will help you manage your account online from the comfort of your home.

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4/1/20 7:06 PM

ROCKY BURNSIDE

NEWS

WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS WEEK

CHARTED

Highest Month Ever Oregon cannabis sales in March set a new record.

NO HELP WANTED: Layoffs are sweeping the state in the face of the COVID-19 pandemic.

BIG NUMBERS

Jobless Oregon employers are laying off workers by the hundreds. Here are the 10 largest layoffs so far.

BY NIG E L JAQ UI SS

njaquiss@wweek.com

The COVID-19 pandemic is a public health crisis with an economic disaster wrapped inside. Oregon relies heavily on trade, tourism and hospitality, all of which have been hammered as travel and nonessential businesses have closed to comply with Gov. Kate Brown’s stay-home order.

Claims show 178,000 Oregonians filed for unemploy-

ment in the first two weeks. That’s unprecedented in modern Oregon history, says Josh Lehner, a state economist.

Details of those claims are confidential. But one way of tracking layoffs are Worker Adjustment and Retraining Notification filings, or WARN notices. Companies that employ more than 100 workers must file such notices when they make significant layoffs.

Until the novel coronavirus showed up, WARN notices were pretty rare—employers didn’t file a single one in March 2019, for instance. This March, there were 29, covering more than 4,000 jobs.

Lehner says WARN notices only ever capture a small fraction of layoffs but are useful because they provide “detailed public information on how many, which companies, locations and the like.”

Here are the 10 biggest WARN filings through April 6.

Well, it’s now clear how a lot of Oregonians got through their first month of quarantine: by smoking a lot of weed.

Sales data from the Oregon Liquor Control Commission show Oregonians bought $84.5 million worth of cannabis products in March—the most in a single month since the state legalized recreational use in 2015.

The previous record, set in July 2019, was just shy of $80 million.

The March number is a 37 percent increase from this time last year. Sales per retailer averaged out to $135,000, a 30 percent jump.

Flower accounted for more than half of total sales, while concentrates and extracts made up the secondhighest market share.

Cannabis sales in general have been rising after a surplus in 2018 resulted in a glut that sent prices plummeting. Sales in 2019 were up 22 percent, according to the OLCC. It’s not clear if the record sales for March were a result of panic buying as more businesses were forced to close due to the coronavirus pandemic. Regardless, expect them to continue—dispensaries were exempted from Gov. Kate Brown’s stay-home order March 23, and the OLCC has temporarily allowed curbside cannabis sales outside shops. MATTHEW SINGER.

COMPANY Tualatin Hills Park & Recreation District

LOCATION

LAID OFF DATE RECEIVED

Beaverton

792

3/23/2020

Government Camp

471

4/1/2020

Powell’s City of Books

Portland

389

3/19/2020

The Nines Hotel

Portland

332

3/30/2020

Elmer’s Restaurants Inc.

Portland

296

3/16/2020

Bend

248

3/25/2020

Evraz Steel

Portland

232

4/6/2020

Jasper’s Food Management Inc.

Eugene

172

3/17/2020

Vancouver, WA

119

3/20/2020

RLK Co. Timberline Lodge

Deschutes Brewery Public Rooms

Spieg’s Barbers LLC

Source: Oregon Higher Education Coordinating Commission 6

Willamette Week APRIL 8, 2020 wweek.com

Average Daily Weed Sales Per Dispensary

March Cannabis Sales per Shop, 2019 to 2020

QUOTE OF THE WEEK “At a time of significant community need, hospitals are having to make very difficult decisions about how to keep their doors open, maintain services and retain staff…. Hospitals are implementing a variety of strategies, including reductions in hours and salary, paid furloughs, transitioning to per diems and layoffs.”

—From an April 6 letter to Gov. Kate Brown from Becky Hultberg, president and CEO of the Oregon Association of Hospitals & Health Systems Hospitals might seem the last businesses that would experience a financial hardship during the COVID -19 pandemic, but the industry group representing hospitals is pleading for a $200 million bailout to stabilize them. In

the letter to Gov. Brown, signed by several industry professionals, the hospitals say revenues are down 40 to 60 percent while costs are increasing. That’s because hospitals were ordered to cancel elective surgeries to keep beds open for a coming surge of COVID-19 patients, and fewer people are seeking outpatient treatment while they practice social distancing. Hospitals, particularly in rural parts of the state not yet significantly impacted by the outbreak, warn they are suffering financially. Unemployment filings offer some evidence to support that claim: As of last week, more than 9,500 workers in Oregon’s health care and social assistance sector were seeking benefits after losing their jobs. RACHEL MONAHAN

GIVE

What to Do With Those Stimulus Checks A number of you have called or emailed to say you don’t need part or all of the so-called economic impact payments that will be headed to many of us in the weeks ahead.

You’ve asked if we have suggestions. We do.

This list of a dozen local nonprofits, selected by the good folks at WW’s Give!Guide, is far from comprehensive or complete. But it offers a place to start.

You’ll see we’ve mentioned a lot of organizations dealing with domestic violence. That’s due to the stark increase in violence against partners and children that has occurred while families are trapped at home during the COVID-19 pandemic.

A number of nonprofits on this list deal with housing and homeless populations. Their needs are greater than ever right now. The same is true of immigrant and minority populations. And food is at a premium for many Portlanders. Finally, we think media and the arts are crucially important in times like these.

Thank you in advance for your generosity.

Bradley Angle

Serves people affected by domestic violence. bradleyangle.org

Call to Safety CREATIVE THINKER: Tera Hurst.

CONTRIBUTION REQUEST OF THE WEEK

Tera Hurst Wants to Share A publicly funded City Council candidate tests the limits on how campaign dollars can be used.

The candidate: Tera Hurst, executive director of the environmental group Renew Oregon. She’s one of 18 candidates vying to succeed late City Commissioner Nick Fish in the May 19 primary.

The request: On April 3, Hurst sent out a blast email with an unusual proposal. “Make a $50 contribution to Tera Hurst,” the email said. “Your $50 PDX contribution goes to local nonprofits. Your contribution will grow five times with open and accountable matching funds.”

Why it’s significant: Hurst and seven other candidates seeking Fish’s seat have qualified for public matching funds under the city’s new Open and Accountable Elections program. That program matches campaign contributions up to $50 by as much as to 6 to 1.

One of Hurst’s rivals for the seat, tenant organizer Margot Black, says she dropped a similar idea after guidance from the secretary of state’s Elections Division.

Dan Meek, an elections law specialist, notes that city

code appears to prohibit what Hurst proposed. The code says “contributions to civic and nonprofit organizations from a participating candidate’s publicly funded account are permitted only if the payment is for the purpose of attending a specific campaign event open to the public.”

City Commissioner Amanda Fritz, who championed public financing, now says Meek is right: The city’s initial approval of Hurst’s proposal was an error.

Hurst’s proposal struck Meek and others as problematic for other reasons, as well.

Jack Bogdanski, who teaches taxation at Lewis & Clark Law School and wrote about the city’s troubled attempt to institute publicly financed campaigns years ago, questions whether the “contribution” Hurst is seeking is legitimate.

“Is the person contributing to your campaign if the candidate agrees to give the money away? No. That seems clear,” Bogdanski says. “That’s not a contribution to your campaign. That’s a problem.”

What Hurst says: When contacted by WW, Hurst shared an email showing her campaign had been in touch with the Oregon Elections Division, as well, and believed she’d gotten a green light.

But when WW checked with the Elections Division, a top official said Hurst’s pitch appeared to violate elections law prohibiting candidates from offering something of value to influence a voter’s actions.

Michelle Teed, deputy elections director, says when Hurst fully explained her plan to the state, it “changed our response and suggests that the arrangement might constitute undue influence.”

Hurst is now scrapping the fundraising request.

“Because they are saying a gray area, we are just going to take it down,” Hurst says. “It’s not worth it to me to go down that road.” NIGEL JAQUISS.

Strives to end domestic and sexual violence through confidential support services. calltosafety.org

JOIN

Supports people experiencing homelessness to transition into permanent, stable housing. joinpdx.org

Meals on Wheels People

Provides nutritious food, human connections, and social support to seniors. mowp.org

North by Northeast Community Health Center

Offers culturally specific primary health care services focused on Portland’s African American community. nxneclinic.org

Oregon Food Bank

Works to eliminate hunger and its root causes. oregonfoodbank.org

The Pongo Fund

Provides high-quality food and veterinary care for family pets of those who are less fortunate. thepongofund.org

Portland Street Medicine

Works to improve health care for homeless people in Portland. portlandstreetmedicine.org

Raphael House of Portland

Provides lifesaving services to adults and children escaping domestic violence. raphaelhouse.com

Sisters of the Road

A nonprofit Cafe in Portland’s Old Town neighborhood working to create systemic change. sistersoftheroad.org

Transition Projects

Helps Portlanders transition from homelessness to housing. tprojects.org

Virginia Garcia Memorial Health Center & Foundation

Provides high-quality health care with emphasis on migrant and seasonal farmworkers. virginiagarcia.org

Willamette Week APRIL 8, 2020 wweek.com

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J U S T I N K AT I G B A K

NEWS

Hunger Pains As more Oregonians lose their jobs, the state’s food pantries warn they’re running low on supplies.

BY R AC H E L M O N A H A N

r monahan@wweek.com

As the COVID-19 shutdown costs Oregonians their livelihoods, nonprofits that provide food for people in poverty are seeing a dramatic surge in demand.

The Oregon Food Bank says it could start running short on supplies as soon as two weeks from now.

“Requests for food assistance are increasing and increasing dramatically,” says food bank CEO Susannah Morgan. She expects that without additional resources, her organization won’t be able to meet the demand for food in any given week: “I’m concerned. That could happen two weeks from now or four weeks from now or eight weeks from now. It depends on how quickly other resources get put in play.”

The demand for food from food pantries and soup kitchens is the latest sign of COVID -19’s impact on Oregon’s economy. It’s another way the public sector may need to step in even as tax revenues are expected to dry up.

And it means that even as state officials deal with one public health disaster, they must confront another poised to erupt.

“I’m seeing a humanitarian crisis,” says Scott Kerman, executive director of Blanchet House, which serves meals to homeless people in Old Town, where lines extend out the door for blocks. “I don’t believe I’m using that term with any sense of hyperbole.”

The Oregon Food Bank, which distributes food through 21 regional food banks and ultimately to 1,400 food pantries and meal sites across the state, has requested $7.5 million from the state as part of an emergency package to address COVID-19.

The Oregon Legislature did formally support a request for food assistance last month. But no amount has been agreed on, and Gov. Kate Brown has delayed calling a special session as the state figures out what resources it needs to fill in gaps the federal COVID-19 relief bill does not.

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Willamette Week APRIL 8, 2020 wweek.com

HELPING HAND: Blanchet House has seen a dramatic increase in the number of people seeking food since the COVID-19 pandemic hit Portland.

The governor’s office says the state is ready to help The county-city Joint Office of Homeless Services with food. The Department of Human Services “is in is stepping in to provide Catholic Charities $260,000 a regular contact with the Oregon Food Bank to make sure month for 40,000 meals, some of which will be served by they have adequate resources,” says Brown spokesman Blanchet House as well as on the eastside at St. Francis of Elizabeth Merah. “If the Food Bank requires additional Assisi Catholic Church. resources to help Oregonians, Oregon’s Emergency “If they’re not getting the volunteers and donations, Coordination Center (ECC) is ready to help.”. we need to step in,” says Denis Theriault, spokesman for The effects of a statewide economic shutdown ripple the joint office. downward to people on the edge of poverty. Oregonians But food shortages appear to be affecting more people who previously needed no help need some assistance; than just those living outside. people who once needed a little help now need a lot.

Mainspring Portland, a smaller food pantry at NorthThe Oregon Food Bank doesn’t have hard data yet east 82nd Avenue and Fremont Street, has seen lines on how many more meals pantries and other food sites stretching a block or two. are serving, but anecdotally, nonprofits are reporting an The food pantry shifted operations into the parking increase of between 20 and 60 percent, says Morgan. lot to make room for social distancing and instituted a “We’re hearing tons of people say, ‘I lost my job,’” new rule—“if you touch it, you take it”—for its grocery says Morgan, who adds that store-style operations. But partner nonprofits usually most of Mainspring’s 60 usual encourage people to apply for volunteers, many of them unemployment and food ben- “I’M SEEING A HUMANITARIAN senior citizens or parents of efits, but there is a lag time CRISIS. I DON’T BELIEVE I’M schoolchildren, can’t come. before people see them.

That means hiring temporary For the past three weeks, USING THAT TERM WITH ANY workers, paying overtime Blanchet House has seen and looking for more funding SENSE OF HYPERBOLE.” record numbers of people as the food pantry strives to seeking meals. In the first meet demand.

—SCOTT KERMAN, week of April, staff and volMainspring served 200 BLANCHET HOUSE unteers (the kind Kerman people a day in the past; last says would “fight through the Thursday, it served 3,000. zombies to get to our door” “I think it’s going to become to help) served 9,700 meals—double the numbers from a growing issue,” says Gabrielle Mercedes Bolívar, Mainthe first week of March. The first week of the month spring ’s executive director. “It will be months before is typically a time when the number of meals needed [people out of work] are employed again.” decline as public benefits become available at the start House Speaker Tina Kotek (D -Portland) says the of the month. state needs to act quickly.

People on the street are under new strains—with “The scale of this crisis has led to a dramatic spike in libraries, Starbucks and all restaurants closed, they’re Oregonians dealing with food insecurity, applying for outside all the time.

SNAP benefits and asking for more help,” Kotek says.

“We have done whatever it takes,” says Kerman. “We “We need to do more at all levels to assist those who had to completely reinvent our operations. Our hearts are struggling to find the next meal for themselves and are breaking for the people we’re serving every day.” their families.”

In the past, more than three-quarters of the food The federal relief package includes support for more Blanchet House served was donated. But now restau- food. But Morgan says the Oregon Food Bank doesn’t rants are closed and don’t have excess to contribute. expect to see that food arrive until July at the earliest.

Blanchet House must also now package its food instead The state’s emergency coordination documents say of serving it restaurant style. Both those factors have officials are “conducting a risk analysis and initial planincreased costs from 33 cents to $5 a meal. ning for food shortages.”

AARON WESSLING

NEWS

New Mourning Oregon is starting to grapple with a grim reality: COVID-19 will strain the state’s capacity for dealing with the dead.

BY TE SS R I SK I

tess@wweek.com

Even as Oregon hopes it has averted the worst outcomes of the COVID-19 pandemic, the state is starting to grapple with a new, grim challenge: managing the deceased.

Documents obtained by WW show the Oregon State Medical Examiner’s Office is concerned about the state’s capacity to handle more bodies in the weeks ahead.

Late last week, chief medical examiner Dr. Sean Hurst predicted the state’s death care facilities—hospitals, morgues and his own office—might not be prepared for the projected increase in deaths.

“Body storage capacity amongst hospitals in Oregon is limited,” says a memo written

by Hurst on April 3. “Body storage capacity within the State Medical Examiner system is likewise small. As a result, an increase in COVID-19 deaths will stress the death care system. A slowdown in death care services may occur both due to a restricted workforce or an increase in fatalities.”

How many additional bodies, exactly, can Oregon handle? State officials don’t know.

WW asked the Oregon Health Authority, the Office of Emergency Management, the Oregon Cemetery and Mortuary Board, and the Oregon State Police’s Medical Examiner Division. None of these agencies knows the state’s total morgue capacity.

The state medical examiner has a capacity for 70 bodies, according to Capt.

Timothy Fox of the Oregon State Police.

But the state’s mass fatality plan discourages storage of bodies contaminated with a virus at the medical examiner’s office: “The MEO morgue does not accept bodies that are contaminated, including with a biological hazard. Thus, this facility may not be available,” the plan says.

In his April 3 letter, the state medical examiner recommended implementing

“refrigerated trailers with tiered rack space” for additional body storage amid the COVID-19 pandemic. (Such vehicles, called “mobile morgues,” have been used in New York City, where deaths are increasing so rapidly public officials are considering using a park as a mass grave.)

Oregon’s mass fatality plans, reviewed

by WW, indicate the state could, in dire circumstances, resort to storing bodies in airplane hangars, on state fairgrounds and at “national and air guard armories” throughout the state.

Whether the state will need to resort to such measures is unknown. In the days since Hurst’s memo, projections for Oregon’s COVID -19 deaths have grown sunnier, thanks to the state’s residents following Gov. Kate Brown’s order to stay home.

Since April 1, researchers at the University of Washington’s Institute for Health Metrics and Evaluation predicted approximately 566 deaths statewide from COVID-19. On April 5, new projections from the IMHE, which accounted for more data points than earlier projections, modeled 171 deaths. At press time, at least 33 Oregonians had died from the virus—a tiny number compared to hot spots like New York.

But for weeks, gaps in Oregon’s emergency preparedness and health care systems have been exposed by the pandemic. The state responded to concerns about capacity and resources by building a temporary hospital on the state fairgrounds in Salem, and pleading for private stocks of personal protective equipment and hundreds of additional ventilators (140 of which Gov. Brown sent to New York on April 4).

Hurst warned that his office, like the state’s health care system, could easily be overwhelmed. He said the medical examiner would have to rely more on hospitals and pri-

FLATLINE: Oregon’s outlook for COVID-19 deaths has improved over the past week, in part because Portlanders have stayed home and kept their distance in public places like Mount Tabor Park.

vate funeral homes for the storage of bodies.

“As the day-to-day operations of the State Medical Examiner’s Office are not adequately staffed or resourced,” he wrote, “the ability to store and process additional decedents at the state’s facilities is currently limited.”

Funeral homes are already feeling a strain.

Some hospitals and hospice facilities tell funeral homes when someone has died from COVID-19, while others, citing privacy concerns, do not. At Sunset Hills Funeral Home in Eugene each body is treated as if it has the virus.

“Certainly, by the time we’re called, the body is still contagious,” says Marc Lund, owner of Sunset Hills. “No one’s seen anything like this. When we had HIV, when we had hepatitis C, when we had the flu, when we had tuberculosis—none of those things have warranted this level of caution. HIV was extremely scary—I was there. But this is just so much more contagious.”

Because of the uncertainty, funeral homes must exercise an abundance of caution in preparing bodies. “I believe our staff has been in contact with people who are COVID-positive and we did not know it,” Lund continues.

Sunset Hills has capacity for 10 to 20 bodies at a time. Lund says an influx of COVID -19 deaths could make business more complicated. “Let’s not forget,” he adds, “there’s a normal amount of death that occurs in this community every day.

So that’s not going away.”

At Terry Family Funeral Home in Portland, employees now cover the noses and mouths of the deceased when removing bodies to reduce the spread of COVID-19.

The funeral home shares refrigeration with another facility, and the two businesses combined have room for about 80 bodies.

“We just deal with it one at a time.

We only got so much space,” says owner Dwight Terry. “We never know what people die from. By the time that we find out what people die from, we’ve already buried them or cremated them.”

Funeral services have also been altered.

At Sunset Hills, memorials can still take place, Lund says, but they are private only, they must have fewer than 10 attendees, and mourners must stand at least 6 feet apart per the governor’s order. The funeral home also tries to plan digital funerals that can be livestreamed, recorded and distributed to family.

At Terry Family Funeral Home, memorial services have stopped completely.

“That’s a real tragedy of COVID-19,” Lund says. “It’s impacting the way people grieve.”

The possibility of death from COVID-19 is on the minds of Portland’s frontline health care workers, who come face to face with carriers of the virus on a daily basis.

Dr. Erika Moseson, 39, a pulmonologist at Legacy Good Samaritan Hospital in Portland, sees firsthand the dangers of waiting too long to prepare for death and discuss wishes with family. Moseson treats many patients who are on ventilators, rendering them unable to communicate.

She doesn’t want to find herself in that position, which is why last week she began preparing her will.

“When you can’t breathe, you can’t talk.

So a lot of people are scared they won’t be able to ask for what they want,” Moseson says. “It’s the worst time in the world to have a conversation. No one has time to have it before you put in the breathing tube.”

A nurse at Providence Portland Medical Center, who requested anonymity because she’s not authorized to speak to the press, says she reached out last week to her friend, an estate lawyer.

“She volunteered to get mine and my husband’s wills in order,” the Providence nurse, 45, says. “She let me know she had already done it for two other nurse friends last week. I don’t know if I feel better or worse about that.”

The decision to prepare her will, she says, was a result of “watching other nurses die on the other side of the country. Nurses that are the same age and healthy, like me.”

Willamette Week APRIL 8, 2020 wweek.com

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Willamette Week APRIL 8, 2020 wweek.com

KEEP CALM AND MAKE MASKS A volunteer brigade is sewing the face coverings needed to protect Portland’s doctors and patients. a Reed neighborhood seamstress who pivoted from her bow-tie shop on Etsy to sewing masks for friends, family and anyone who calls. “I think every seamstress in the U.S. has purchased elastic. There’s a lot of MacGyvering going on.”

The COVID-19 outbreak is a cloud with few silver linings. It is a tale of governmental incompetence, heartbreaking bereavement and economic calamity the likes of which many Oregonians have never experienced. Even our great civic effort—staying home to stop the spread of disease—is a solitary activity.

Mask making is an exception.

The people stepping in with fabric are engaged in a collective project, something larger than themselves. As WW combed through press clippings and checked social media posts to find people chipping in, we discovered the campaign was spontaneous and not coordinated—sometimes sewers were sewing

masks just blocks from each other without knowing their neighbors were helping, too. (An unusually high number of crafters are concentrated—apparently by coincidence—in the Southeast Portland neighborhood of Montavilla, along 82nd Avenue.)

The effort couldn’t be more timely. Last week, federal health officials recommended that all Americans don face coverings, because many of the people carrying the coronavirus don’t display any symptoms.

That’s creating an even more frantic market for fabric masks. (We offer a pattern for sewing one yourself on page 14.)

Portlanders appear ready to meet that demand.

WW could interview only a fraction of the people we found making masks in or near this city. In the following pages, we’ll introduce you to six.

CHRISTINE DONG

Two weeks ago, Jane Staugas made bow ties. Matias Brecher manufactured wooden cellphone covers.

Michele Hetrick sewed the bags tossed in backyard games of cornhole.

Now they all make the same thing: masks.

They have joined a brigade of Portland seamstresses, crafters and hobbyists who took to their sewing machines and routers to assemble the protective gear needed to battle COVID-19.

In factories, shops and living rooms across Multnomah County, they have volunteered in an ad hoc production drive that feels a little like the 1940s war effort. Most of them say they were spurred to action by news reports last month that Oregon doctors and nurses were nearly out of the personal protective equipment they needed to shield themselves from the virus as they treated the state’s sickest patients.

“This makes me feel less helpless,” says Staugas, 66,

WE CAN DO IT: Michele Hetrick (right) teamed up with Carrie Garvey, manager of Montavilla Sewing Company’s Gresham store, to distribute fabric masks to Portland-area hospital workers.

Calibration Cornhole Co.

On March 31, Dr. Michele Hetrick didn’t know how to sew a mask. Now she doesn’t know how to stop.

Hetrick wakes each morning at 5:30. She sews fabric masks until 1:30 am the following night. Four hours sleep, then back to her Pfaff sewing machine. There’s a day job as a fifth-grade teacher at Pleasant Valley Elementary in between—distance learning, of course.

“The secret is that I don’t do anything small,” she says.

“The problem is that the orders just keep coming in.”

In October, Hetrick, 46, founded Calibration Cornhole Co., a Gresham shop making wooden cornhole sets.

You know cornhole: It’s the game beloved at birthday parties and barbecues, where players toss fabric bags filled with resin pellets onto a wooden board with a hole cut in the top.

Turns out cornhole bags and masks are similar. “It’s just sewing squares,” Hetrick says.

One week ago, she reached out to the Gresham loca-

tion of the sewing-machine chain Montavilla Sewing Company. She offered to coordinate a mask-making drive, and asked the company to serve as a depository for the face coverings and ferry them to local hospitals. The first 100-mask batch was delivered to Providence Portland Medical Center on April 1.

As of April 7, Hetrick and seven other seamstresses have finished 770 masks. They have standing orders for another 516. (They’re making scrub caps for nurses, too.)

Her proficiency at sewing masks has increased: “The first one took me an hour and a half, and now I’m down to 2 minutes and 30 seconds.”

What’s the lesson here? Hetrick sees it as a story of collective decency—and discerning a larger pattern. “It reminded me that the things I tell my kids, those really are my values,” she says. “We are better as a community than we are as individuals. This is a problem that’s bigger than you.”

AARON MESH. CONT. on page 12 Willamette Week APRIL 8, 2020 wweek.com

11

Toast

Crafters Against COVID-19 PDX

On March 17, Anne Jin, 47, was a stay-at-home mom in Portland’s Laurelhurst neighborhood, increasingly concerned about the growing public health crisis but, like most Oregonians, at a loss for what to do.

On March 18, Gov. Kate Brown announced Oregon had just two weeks’ supply of personal protective equipment, or PPE. That’s when Jin’s husband, an infectious disease doctor at a Portland-area hospital, suggested she rise to the occasion.

“You have a sewing machine,” Jin recalls her husband telling her. “You should sew masks.”

That same day, she made a Facebook group, called Crafters Against COVID-19 PDX. The group swelled to 8,000 members—people from across the state eager to help mitigate the historical PPE shortages. “I had never made a Facebook group before,” says Jin. “I’m just a novice sewer myself.”

The Facebook group now shares how-to instructions for making a DIY mask, posts from crafters helping each other out, crowdsourcing mask materials, and words of encouragement like “Keep calm and sew masks.” Some of the group’s members need these words more than others—they’ve posted comments seeking suggestions to improve their masks.

Despite the challenges of at-home mask making, the members have made and donated approximately 8,000 homemade masks to Multnomah County’s donation center. The county then sends the donated homemade masks to hospitals in need, where they are given to patients—not health care workers, since cloth masks aren’t medical grade.

While Jin has orchestrated an entire team of maskmakers, she herself hasn’t sewn one just yet. “I’ve made zero,” Jin says, laughing. “I’ve been so overwhelmed with taking care of other people. It went from zero to 60, and suddenly my kids needed to be homeschooled. It’s actually kind of embarrassing. [But] I’m the glue between the makers and the doctors who want to give them to patients.”

Jin says the Facebook group is a welcome respite for many Portlanders who are unemployed or feeling listless.

She says the group comprises a wide variety of members: some who already sew as a hobby and others who are just plain bored during the pandemic.

“It’s giving people something to do with their hands,” Jin says. “It’s hard for people who had to stop working, so this is something else to focus their energy on.”

TESS RISKI. 12

Willamette Week APRIL 8, 2020 wweek.com

CHRISTINE DONG

MASS PRODUCTION: Carolyn HartStafford is a member of Crafters Against COVID-19 PDX, which has donated approximately 8,000 homemade masks since March 18.

Matias Brecher typically doesn’t mess with plastic.

His company, Toast, has operated for the past eight years on principles of sustainability, making custom laptop and smartphone covers using responsibly sourced wood and leather. But when he decided to help coronavirus first responders by pivoting to medical face shields, Brecher had to put some of his environmental concerns on the back burner.

Without the means to make N95-style masks, Brecher and his nine-member team at Toast’s offices in Montavilla have put his laser cutters to use designing shields out of durable thermoplastic polyester, which can be sanitized and reused.

The shields are sold through a private portal on the company’s website, to ensure they go directly to frontline workers. Toast’s small staff now manufactures 250 per day, but the hope is to get up to 500 if demand increases—and if material remains available.

“Things are getting really scarce with material now,” Brecher says of the thermoplastic polyester, which comes from a local wholesaler, Laird Plastics. (Toast currently has enough to make 5,000 shields.) “Six to 8 weeks from now, if there’s a real run, that might be a limiting factor for us.”

MATTHEW SINGER.

PLASTIC FANTASTIC: Matias Brecher’s company, Toast, has switched from making custom iPhone covers to face shields made of a thin, durable type of plastic.

Clever Little Maker

SLICE OF LIFE: In his West Linn home, Eric Cha is using a computer numeric controlled router to cut through plastic to make the frames for reusable face shields.

CHRISTINE DONG

Stephanie Cha considers the 2,000 headbands a miracle.

On March 18, her husband, Eric, began manufacturing the frames for reusable plastic face shields, using a computer numeric controlled router to slice through polyethylene. A Wilsonville company, 3-D Systems, contributed the polycarbonate for the transparent visors. Eric and Stephanie Cha spent nights at their kitchen table in West Linn, assembling the shields with the help of their two teenage children.

Then the elastic ran out. The Chas needed elastic bands for the straps that secured the shields to doctors’ heads. “I personally cleared out Jo-Ann [Fabrics],” Eric Cha says.

But a distribution manager from Goody’s donated 2,000 headbands. They weren’t anything special—cheap workout headbands in pastel colors. “They’re basically elastic bands,” says Stephanie Cha, 49, who works as a doctor. “They do the job.”

The donation was one of dozens of generous acts that have turned Clever Little

Maker—the Facebook hobby page of Eric Cha, 50, an engineer and computer programmer—into a cottage industry spreading across the Portland suburbs and sending orders to hospitals across the country. “We’ll keep going until we run out of plastic,” says Eric Cha. “We will probably run out after we make 1,700 face shields total.”

Dozens of households have joined the Chas in assembling the face shields. In photographs, the volunteers grin from kitchen counters and sit cross-legged on living-room carpets. They look like they’re opening presents on Christmas morning—but instead, they’re making the gifts.

“I think most of us are used to being taken care of, by the government or the system or your employer,” Eric Cha says. “A lot of that didn’t come through.” Instead, he says, the COVID-19 crisis was met by neighbors. “But I feel like our neighbors are from all over the country.” AARON MESH.

FABRIC OF OUR LIVES: Portland Garment Factory owner Britt Howard is producing 6,000 “frontline barrier masks” per week at her Montavilla textile factory.

NEXT ADVENTURE: U.S. Outdoor owner Ed Ariniello is helping collect ski goggles for Goggles for Docs, an organization that repurposes the eyewear for use by medical professionals at hospitals across the country. the eyewear for use by medical professionals at hospitals across the country.

Portland Garment Factory

Britt Howard was in Cuba on a business retreat when things really started to fall apart back home.

When she returned to Oregon on March 13, after nine days in Havana with limited internet access, the state was in the process of shutting down completely.

She didn’t dawdle. Within days, Howard turned the Portland Garment Factory, the Montavilla textile company she’s owned since 2008, toward face-mask production.

“I thought maybe we can make 1,000 masks per day, on top of other stuff we’re working on,” she says, “just to help.”

Normally, the factory manufactures shirts, tote bags and other apparel for contractors as big as Nike on down to small Portland fashion brands.

Her first batch sold out within an hour, and the second and third went nearly as fast. Now, her 14-member staff is cranking out 6,000 “frontline barrier masks” per week, supplying Legacy Hospital and Planned Parenthood.

The masks, made from “non-woven, medical-grade material,” are as straightforward in design as possible: all white, to provide the wearers with a “sense of calm,” Howard says. But she adds that when she starts making them for the public, they have “a bit more flair.” MATTHEW SINGER.

U.S. Outdoor Store

Skiers need doctors, rarely the other way around. Right now, though, the medical profession can use whatever assistance it can get.

Eric Ariniello’s contribution? Goggles, and lots of ’em.

Ariniello recently registered his sporting goods store, U.S. Outdoor on Southwest Broadway, as a drop-off point for Goggles for Docs, a national effort to collect new and used ski goggles for hospitals in desperate need of protective eyewear.

“We all need something to do,” he says, “something we can contribute.”

The image of doctors looking as if they just came straight from shredding Hood might seem slightly ridiculous, but the idea came from a physician in New York, whose aunt coaches downhill racers. Hospitals from across the country make requests through the Goggles for Docs website, and donors fill out a spreadsheet, committing to supply a certain number.

So far, the group has donated nearly 13,000 goggles total.

Ariniello sends shipments across the country every Friday.

As for his own business, sales have been slow but not stagnant. Adventuring is on hold, but customers still order skis, backpacks and other equipment, preparing for the day when it’s safe to go outside again.

“The cool thing about the outdoors,” Ariniello says, “is we’re all dreaming about getting there.” MATTHEW SINGER. Willamette Week APRIL 8, 2020 wweek.com

13

How to Make a Mask A Portland seamstress offers step-by-step instructions.

BY TE SS R I S K I

tess@wweek.com

Portland is now a city of masks.

Faces in the streets look increasingly like those in a hospital ward or at a Rose City Antifa rally: bandannas, DIY cloth masks, even N95 respirator masks that are supposed to be reserved for frontline health care workers.

That’s a recent twist. On April 3, the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention recommended that all Americans wear cloth masks while in public. Later that evening, Portland-area health officers echoed that same recommendation.

The new advice came as officials realized far greater numbers of people could be carrying the virus without showing symptoms.

Medical-grade masks are scarce, and a scientific consensus behind the benefits of DIY cloth masks is still emerging. But many experts say a homemade face covering is better than nothing, especially for reducing droplet transmission from the mask wearer to those around them.

“There’s not a lot of science behind cloth masks,” says Dr. Jennifer Vines, the tri-county public health officer, adding, “We think [it] offers some benefit in containing droplets and, potentially, for those people who may have the virus and not be showing symptoms.”

In a virtual press conference, the tricounty doctors warned Oregonians that homemade cloth masks need to be laundered after every use with warm water and detergent, and that they should not be

worn if dirty. They added that one should avoid adjusting the mask frequently, and use a mask that fits securely.

“The tighter the weave—like thread counts on sheets—the thicker the cloth, the better it fits your face, the better the protection,” says Dr. Sarah Present, the Clackamas County health officer. “They can be itchy. You want to be careful that you are not adjusting it, and you need to avoid reaching under it to touch your nose or mouth.”

For advice on how to make a simple and useful face covering, WW turned to someone who makes hundreds of them a week: Portland seamstress Alyson Clair, who has a degree in apparel design and is an organizer of the 8,000-member Facebook group Crafters Against COVID-19 PDX.

Clair says sewing a mask isn’t as daunting as it sounds.

“There’s not really a wrong way,” Clair says. “It really comes down to personal preference. Some people are more comfortable just cutting out a rectangle. Make whatever works best for you to make. If I personally can sew, anybody can sew. Get some confidence. You can do it.”

We asked her for help. Last weekend, Clair walked us through the process of mask making, with step-by-step instructions. (She has also produced a video tutorial, which you can find at wweek.com.)

Here’s how to make the same mask Crafters Against COVID -19 are sewing for people waiting in Portland emergency rooms.

2” x 2” REF 2” x 2” REF

You will need: Cotton fabric, elastic, scissors and sewing materials (a sewing machine is preferred). Before making the mask, wash the fabric so it is pre-shrunk.

Step 1: Using the pattern,

cut out six pieces of fabric.

Machine-washable is preferred.

Step 2: Separate the pieces into two stacks of three.

Step 3: Layer the two stacks

on top of each other like a sandwich so the top layer of stack 1 is touching the top layer of stack 2.

MASK A O/S MASK A O/S

Step 4: Sew along the widest part of the mask.

Step 5: Open the mask. It will

now have a duckbill shape. If it doesn’t look great at this point, Clair says, don’t panic. “The thing to know is, we don’t know if these are single-use disposable items,” says Clair, “so do not spend a lot of time making them the most beautiful thing ever. [It’s about] function, for sure.”

Step 6: Sew along the entire perimeter of the mask.

Step 7: Cut two 6-inch pieces of elastic. On the left side of the mask, sew one end of the elastic to the top corner, and one end of the elastic to the bottom corner. Do the same on the right side of the mask. These are your straps, to tuck behind your ears.

Step 8: Congratulations, your mask is ready!

14

Willamette Week APRIL 8, 2020 wweek.com

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Willamette Week APRIL 8, 2020 wweek.com

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Willamette Week APRIL 8, 2020 wweek.com

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STARTERS

FIREFLY FUNHOUSE MATCH

“THAT THING YOU DO!” The death of Fountains of Wayne singer Adam Schlesinger from COVID-19 is among the harder gut punches of this pandemic so far, and while I can’t say I was his biggest acolyte, all the tributes did bring me back to perhaps his most widely recognizable contribution to the cultural zeitgeist: the title song to 1996’s That Thing You Do!, Tom Hanks’ sweetly nostalgic depiction of a Beatlesera one-hit wonder. It’s still a charming if imperfect movie, but the song Schlesinger wrote for it is a gleaming facsimile of ’60s pop, and the rare example of a fictional smash hit that actually sounds like one. Hell, in some alternate dimension, it probably was. MATTHEW SINGER. SELF-GUIDED ARCHITECTURE TOURS My daily walks are the fireworks factory of my self-isolation—the one thing I have to look forward to between naps. Luckily, my neighborhood is actually nice to look at. Let it be known: If you live in Irvington, my wife and I will have almost certainly placed your house on a cute-tougly scale before this is all over. MS. HOMEBREWING Although I have a sizable stash of beer in my fridge, I recently decided to crack open Charlie Papazian’s The Complete Joy of Home Brewing—the most trusted guide for novice kitchen cooks—and make a batch myself. As people find ways to stay occupied during this extended period of downtime, many have taken up old-fashioned tasks, like sewing or woodworking. Homebrewing might just be one of the oldest hobbies, since there’s evidence the ancient Sumerians were fermenting in their dwellings. And DIY brewing is uniquely suited for a pandemic: Not only does it provide hours of distraction, something to look forward to, and a mind-numbing intoxicant upon completion, but sanitation—like everyone else dealing with the coronavirus—is the homebrewer’s No. 1 concern. AP OZARK’S RUTH LANGMORE Like everyone else, I’m searching ways to escape the barrage of catastrophic pandemic updates, 30 to 60 minutes at a time, through my television screen. My favorite getaway right now isn’t the high-tech urban backdrop for Westworld’s latest season or the country’s bizarre world of big cat zoos. Instead, I’m captivated by Ozark, the Netflix original now in its third season, in which a former financial planner reluctantly launders money as bodies pile up. An overall sense of dread hangs in the air thanks to a palette of chilly blues and grays, but by far my favorite component is the fiery Ruth Langmore, played

by Julia Garner. She’s persistent, fiercely protective of her family and won’t take shit from the series’ constant rotation of lowlifes, who may be twice her size, but she’s got 10 times the wit. AP MY PERSONAL ’90S DISASTER MOVIE DOUBLE FEATURE: DANTE’S PEAK VS. VOLCANO Everyone’s watching Contagion and taking notes like it’s an educational film, but let me ask you this: If Mount Tabor erupted tomorrow, would you know what to do? Don’t look for me to be Portland’s Tommy Lee Jones and/or Pierce Brosnan, unless you’re my cats, in which case I will 100 percent sacrifice my legs to the magma and/or boiling hot Willamette River to save my cats. MS. WRESTLEMANIA’S “CINEMATIC” MATCHES No performing art depends on a live audience more than professional wrestling, which made watching this year’s WrestleMania, held in a small, empty studio with a ceiling fan whirling above the ring, deeply awkward. In two instances, though, WWE found a creative workaround by presenting matches as mini-movies rather than live-action theater—and they were, by far, the best thing on the show.

Trying to describe the Firefly Funhouse Match between Bray Wyatt and John Cena is impossible here—let’s just say it was more legitimately “Lynchian” than half the stuff that gets that label—but the Boneyard Match pitting AJ Styles against the Undertaker was like the climax to a Z-grade hillbilly action thriller. It was brilliantly stupid, which is exactly what wrestling should be. MS.

BOP! 2020

TIDYING UP Turns out, we never really needed Marie Kondo to motivate us to declutter our lives. There’s nothing like an indefinite quarantine order to make your immediate surroundings feel a little…cramped. It only took a few days of sheltering in place to realize there was no longer enough room for both me, my husband, the dog and all of our belongings. Why, exactly, have I been holding on to plastic mugs from every single beer festival I’ve ever attended? How on earth did a college calculus primer end up on our bookshelf? Do I really still have a shoebox-sized storage bin with old movie stubs? Anything without a pragmatic function is taking up precious space—even if that’s a mere two inches—and no longer welcome. While everything spins out of control, it’s still possible to manage one small slice of the world.

I’m going to categorize, file, label and alphabetize the hell out of it. ANDI PREWITT.

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19

GET INSIDE

WHAT TO DO WHILE YOU'RE STUCK AT HOME

ERIK DROST

H OW I 'M SP EN D I N G MY Q UA R ANT I NE

Channing Frye Occupation: Former Portland Trail Blazer, host of Talkin’ Blazers podcast Number of kids at home: 4 What have you been eating? One thing we love about Portland is its restaurant scene. Lord have mercy, there is so much good food here it’s unreal! But with the social distancing, we decided it would be a great time to start a keto diet, so my wife and I have been cooking every one of our meals. She cooks, I grill. Our kids are great eaters, but ask weekly, “Can we go to a restaurant tonight?”

What have you been watching, listening to or playing? We are huge TV watchers. We finished Yellowstone and Hunters and we’re now watching the third season of Westworld. I personally listen to every genre of music—this week is jazz, last week was nu-disco, week before was reggae. But I always mix in house music and classical.

Have you picked up a new hobby or resumed an old one? The only new hobby I have is taking care of this puppy we got. He is an awesome dog, but with four kids, another responsibility is always rough.

What’s the weirdest thing you’ve done so far? I’m 7 feet tall and love going to the gym and working out. Walking long distances isn’t my type of gig, but being in the house isn’t either, so I took the lesser of evils.

What do you miss most about the outside world? For me, it’s not about what I miss, it’s about why I’m staying home. I love this city and its people, and I have a responsibility to do what I can to make sure everyone has a fighting chance to be healthy.

What’s your secret to staying sane? Definitely making a schedule. Also slowing down. There isn’t that rush anymore because of work, so slow down and just enjoy every minute.

What’s the first thing you’re doing when this is all over? Popping a huge bottle of Champagne and going to my favorite restaurants one by one.

HEAR T HI S

PLAY T H IS

Waxahatchee, Saint Cloud (Merge)

Into the Breach

Congratulations are in order for Katie Crutchfield. Saint Cloud, the Philadelphia songwriter’s new album, would be a monumental achievement had it been released at any point in time, but it feels especially appropriate for this particular moment of mass isolation. Its achy, country-tinged anthems are perfect for a lonely walk, or baking a loaf of banana bread, or cleaning your bathroom for the third time this week. As a teenager, Crutchfield and her twin sister, Alison, were the nexus of the fabulously openhearted punk-pop band P.S. Eliot, and for most of her career as Waxahatchee, she has hewed to that same energy, albeit dressed up in singer-songwriter garb. Saint Cloud keeps that same energy lyrically but finds Crutchfield ditching the sparse arrangements and homemade production of her previous albums for a more luxurious, full-band approach reminiscent of early Wilco. “Lilacs” pairs a catchy chorus with slinky organ. “Witches” fools with honky-tonk lead guitar, while “War” employs a flirty “wah-na-na-nananananana” guitar swirl. If you told me these kind of jaunty, pop-friendly moves were what Crutchfield was heading toward when Cerulean Salt came out in 2013, I would have believed you—she has the voice for it, certainly, and the music world tends to push artists toward making something fuller and more palatable as time goes on. What I wouldn’t have believed was that it would sound this excellent, and mesh so elegantly with her thornier tendencies. CORBIN SMITH.

(Subset Games)

20

Willamette Week APRIL 8, 2020 wweek.com

All good games react to your decisions.

Into the Breach does more than just “react”: It’s a masterwork of cascading choices on a micro scale. What seems at first to be a simple, board game-esque title about defending buildings from giant, rampaging bugs quickly shows itself to be a battle of wits against increasingly desperate odds. But where the game truly sets itself apart is the bold choice to telegraph all of the opponent’s moves. On the player’s turn, helpful indicators make crystal clear exactly where your monster foes will be and what they will be doing. That gives players an advantage, but it also gives them a chance to feel like a badass with cards up their sleeve. Often, you’ll find yourself staring at the screen for minutes at a time, lost in thought as you calculate how to deal the most damage while protecting the most civilians.

Before long, your dominance over a predictable enemy will slip. The advantage of foreknowledge becomes a crutch against an overwhelming force—and that’s when the real game starts. I’ve sunk many hours into Into the Breach, but I have never actually won, a feat that requires scraping your way through numerous battles across four islands. Regardless, like all great mind games, it’s fun and rewarding, and you get a little better every time. Unlike other mind games, this one lets you watch massive robots slam monsters into mountains.

That’ pretty damn rad. NOLAN GOOD.

QUARANTINE: APRIL 8-14 BUS I N E SS D EV E LO P ME N TS

ShanRock Triviology Portland’s pre-eminent pub quiz host doesn’t need a bar to keep her bar trivia empire alive.

In the days after the governor shut down bars across Oregon, Shannon Donaldson’s inbox flooded with messages from addicts in desperate need of a fix.

They needed their trivia, and they needed it badly.

“Teams have emailed me jonesing,” says Donaldson, Portland’s most prolific pub quiz host, “like, ’Oh my God, we need trivia! Please tell me you’re moving it online!’”

Virtual trivia is an idea Donaldson, known to regulars at Cruzroom, the Waypost and several other local bars as ShanRock, has toyed with over the years, but it took being displaced from her usual venues to finally figure out how to do it. She learned quickly: Two nights after the bars closed indefinitely, she held her first quiz over Zoom.

In function, the “TeleQuiz” isn’t much different from those she and her “minions” have hosted around town since 2005. Games are held three nights a week, and teams of up to five players pay $20 to enter. Answers are submitted through Zoom’s chat function, and each round is scored by one of Donaldson’s “scoring czars.”

Of course, there’s nothing to stop unscrupulous participants from simply hopping on Google. But even in person, Donaldson says her games have operated on an honor system.

“If you really want to cheat at goddamn trivia night,” she says, “you’re going to find a way to do it.”

Besides, winning and losing are less important than the interaction among players, particularly right now—exchanging playful trash talk is half the fun, and players can still exchange insults, whether through instant message or creative use of the background function. But that’s where Donaldson has seen the biggest change.

“The shit talk has been less,” she says. “Now, everyone’s more supportive and the teasing is quite gentle, like, ’My cat is cuter than your cat.’” MATTHEW SINGER. Want to play? Sign up at shanrockstrivia.com.

DONALDSON

Four Portland Fashionistas on Their Favorite Soft Pants

Everlane Italian GoWeave Easy Pant ($73)

One Imaginary Girl CDG Stripe Print Silk PJ Set ($275)

Bristol Studio Nylon Track Pants ($180)

The Everlane Easy Pant is cozy with an elastic waist that masquerades as a tailored work pant, which was important until mid-March. Seeing as how isolation is not associated with a particular time or temperature, I would call these soft, 100 percent wool pants versatile, as they never wrinkle, no matter how many times I fall asleep in them and then wear them into the next day.

—Sarah Donofrio, f ormer Project Runway contestant and owner of One Imaginary Girl

The prints are sensational, the color palettes are inspired, and they are 100 percent silk, which is just so luscious.

I also truly endorse the oldest, holiest, most standard-issue Hanes sweatpants you can find, preferably if you’ve personally aged them by six to eight years and they have an extra-easy-fit blownout waistband. Forever and ever.

—Cassie Ridgway, owner of Altar PDX

I’m pretty much a sweats-and-trackpants kind of guy anyway, but since social distancing began, I’ve been living in a pair of track pants from Bristol Studio. They have a relaxed, loungy fit that’s perfect for right now, along with cinches at the waist and ankles—I’m a sucker for technical details.

—Ira LaFontaine, owner of Tabor Made and co-founder of Trillblazin

Adidas Y-3 Cargo Pants (N/A) I’ve been really leaning into looks that make me feel like the sweatpants are an intentional piece of the outfit. My current prized sweatpants are a Goodwill Bins find: Adidas Y-3s. The details, like a real fly zipper and cargo pockets, make me feel like I’m not wearing sweatpants, but the elastic band and drawstring ties are a comforting reminder that I actually am.

—Drea Johnson, seamstress at Hidden Opulence

Willamette Week APRIL 8, 2020 wweek.com

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CULTURE COTTONBRO (PEXELS)

Love Sick It is possible to date during a pandemic.

It’s certainly not easy, though.

BY KATHE R I N E D. M O R GAN

@blktinabelcher

This pandemic has already taught me some crucial lessons about myself.

The first was that I never knew how to thoroughly wash my hands before.

Second, I learned I don’t have any relevant hobbies, because before getting laid off, I defined myself by working anywhere from 30 to 60 hours every week.

But the most important piece of information I’ve taken away from the past three weeks is that there is apparently never a bad time to swipe on a dating site.

It’s OK to admit you’re lonely, especially now. People have been told to seek out a friend for the end of the world, and what better time to find that person than now, when days consist of changing from sleep pajamas into business casual pajamas and spending hours preparing the sourdough starter recipe plastered all over Twitter? There are certainly worse things for a single person to do with all this newfound time.

On the other hand, as a Black woman living in a predominantly white city, I haven’t found much success with dating apps even in the best of times. At least, not the success I’d like. My friends get asked to coffee or bowling or the movies.

I get propositioned for sex. I’ve certainly had a few good dates here and there, but it’s not frequent enough for me to fully understand what I truly gain from put22

Willamette Week APRIL 8, 2020 wweek.com

ting myself out there.

Don’t get me wrong: I’m not one of those people who stress they can’t describe themselves “with such a limited word count.” I’m both a writer and a Capricorn—restrictions and deadlines are usually where I thrive. But I like to think of myself as an acquired taste. The difficulty is that I can’t just immediately meet these men so they can think about how my smile lights up a room, or how I can see a photo of an actor and tell you which episode of Frasier they appeared on. I’m better in 3-D, but these apps reduce me to less than that. In the end, I stay on these apps because they’re the only instances of dating I’ve known.

But maybe this pandemic would change my luck.

After swiping through Portland for a few days in social isolation, my friend mentioned that Tinder is making its passport feature free until April 30, allowing users to swipe anywhere, even if you’re not within 50 miles of state lines. I decided to try my luck in Chicago. I grew up there and have considered moving back sometime in the future.

“What’s the harm?” I thought, punching in the ZIP code for a neighborhood I’ve been obsessively researching on the Zillow app.

Suddenly, I was living in a whole different dating world. The men wore nice dress shirts to social events, instead of the same old red-and-black flannel shirt!

While swiping late one night, I matched with a native Chicagoan who worked as the manager of a restaurant before the pandemic hit the city. The conversation started out flirty enough, then teetered in a direction I wasn’t comfortable with. But he seemed nice, so I went along with it. We went from messaging to talking on the phone to FaceTiming within a span of an hour.

Every five minutes, he asked me to take my shirt off, then backed off when I told him I wasn’t comfortable enough.

It finally got to the point where I just wanted him to leave me alone. So I gave in. He screenshotted the image and backpedaled when I confronted him for doing it. He didn’t believe he had done anything wrong. He really liked me, he said—in fact, he loved me. He wanted me to say it back. He continued to tell me how pretty I was, and how much he liked me even though we had known each other for less time than it takes to get a table at Jam on Hawthorne on a Sunday morning.

It continued like that for another two hours, him begging me to reveal more and more, until I finally got the courage to tell him I was going to bed. He wished me a good night, told me he still liked me. I stayed up for an extra two hours, staring into the darkness of my bedroom. I felt ashamed, disgusted. I messaged him the next morning, telling him it wasn’t going to work out. He sent a single word in response: “OK.” I reached out to a few friends, tellThey held jobs with interesting titles! ing them how the interaction made There were more beards than I could me feel. I had set boundaries for the count! I was living the dream. Well, until conversation, yet ignored every single I read their dating profiles or had to oth- one of them, even as the knot in my stomach continued to grow. One friend erwise interact with them.

One man wanted to know if any told me this is a common manipulation tactic certain kinds of men use: potential partners were interaccepting your boundarested in the act of “quaries, only to chip away at antine and chill.” Yes, them, little by little, to totally, I’ll definitely get what they want. leave the comfort and It’s funny to be a safety of my home 26-year-old woman, during a health still learning how crisis and travel to some parts of the another time zone world work. None for a below-average of my friends—all experience on a women, I must say— futon bed in some shamed me, yet I was guy’s mother’s house. so quick to shame Another man asked if “PEOPLE HAVE BEEN myself. The next day, I was the “projected TOLD TO SEEK OUT I woke up, showered spread of coronaand cried. I’d learned A FRIEND FOR THE virus because your another lesson, put curves are anything END OF THE WORLD, but flat.” I felt my AND WHAT BETTER TIME best by the hosts of the My Favorite Mursoul rise out of my TO FIND THAT PERSON der podcast: “Fuck body and leave a cold THAN NOW?” politeness.” shell behind.

—K ATHERINE D. MORGAN I’ll be OK. I’ll be Conversations more than OK. Now didn’t last very long, but hey, I was having a good time I come equipped with the permission exchanging screenshots with my friend to say “I’m done” and really mean it. I’ll of all the horny men who didn’t care if be back. I’ll continue swiping, continue I happened to cough while exchanging hoping, all throughout the night, in a bodily fluids with them. Is this love? city not too far away from you.

Convenience? Or a little bit of both?

FOOD & DRINK

Editor: Matthew Singer / Contact: msinger@wweek.com

SAGE BROWN

TOP 5

HOT PLATES

Where to get takeout or delivery this week.

1. Kachka

Nodoguro slims its high-end Japanese tasting menu down to bento size.

960 SE 11th Ave., 503-235-0059, kachkapdx.com.

America’s best Russian restaurant offers delivery (as well as curbside pickup) within a 3-mile radius of its Southeast Portland homebase, but Bonnie Morales’ nationally renowned cooking has always been imbued with the matriarchal warmth of home cooking. For Passover, she’s whipped up a series of traditional plates, including matzo ball soup, gefilte fish terraine and a full family dinner package, which are currently sold out, but more are promised before the season is up.

BY MAT T HEW SIN GER

HOW TO ORDER: See website.

2. Bar King 726 SE 6th Ave., 971-346-3280, barkingpdx.com.

One of Portland’s buzziest new restaurants opened and closed within the same week, but Bar King isn’t throwing in the dishrag quite yet.

Chef Shaun King has adapted his Asian-inspired, Momofuku-trained cooking to the takeout model, but that doesn’t mean he’s going small and simple. The rotating menu has so far included racks of spicy pork ribs, whole barbecue chicken and dry-aged duck, plus stews served in big enough quantities to freeze.

HOW TO ORDER: Through Instagram (@barkingpdx) for next-day takeout.

3. Bullard 813 SW Alder St., 503-222-1670, bullardpdx.com.

Top Chef made Doug Adams into a celebrity, but until Bullard’s opening last December, his ability to conceive a credible menu and run a restaurant of his own awaited proof. Well, here it is. While the dining room is shut down, Adams is serving daily family-style meals fit for the Flintstones: grandiose beef ribs, barbecue pork, and a five-piece fried chicken dinner that serves as a preview of Holler, his upcoming restaurant in Sellwood. He’s also planning a full Easter and Passover meal centered on smoked lamb.

HOW TO ORDER: See exploretock.com/bullard.

TOP 5

BUZZ LIST

Where to order beer from this week.

Boxed Out

TOP BURMESE

4. Top Burmese 413 NW 21st Ave., 503-477-5985, topburmese.com.

The booming Burmese takeout spot has traded its tiny rectangular room with a lone table for a slightly larger space inside the former Kim Jong’s Smokehouse, and the menu has expanded in the process. But the dishes that wowed us the first time around remain the all-stars—like the fermented tea leaf salad and the incredible fivepack of golden-brown samosas.

msinger@wweek.com

Nodoguro is one of Portland’s most refined dining experiences—a hardcore sushi bar with rotating 15-course meals thoughtfully devised and artfully plated by chef and co-owner Ryan Roadhouse. It would also seem among the restaurants least equipped to pivot toward takeout. “We literally didn’t have a to-go box in the house,” says Roadhouse, who opened Nodoguro on Southeast Belmont Street with his wife, Elena, in 2015. It’s not like the concept is beneath him—he’s even mulled the idea of a delivery-only side operation in the past. He just never had much reason or time to actually do it. But with his dining room closed, he suddenly had a surplus of both. Over the past three weeks, Roadhouse has compressed Nodoguro’s omakase model into bento-style take-home dinners. “It’s a pure survival mechanism,” he says. “It’s keeping the thing going at its most bare bones.” Selections change weekly depending on availability of ingredients, but the quality remains at the level diners have come to expect. It’s working so far: Roadhouse planned to make the boxes available only twice a week, but demand has now upped that to three. (On the couple’s Shopify page, customers can also purchase soaps and hand sanitizers from Elena Roadhouse’s Eleusis brand.) Here’s what was in a recent box:

HOW TO ORDER: Caviar, DoorDash, Grubhub, Postmates, Uber Eats.

5. The Sudra 28 NE 28th Ave., 971-302-6002, thesudra.com.

The Sudra specializes in Indian cooking tinged with Latin American and other inspirations, all vegan. A wide array of options—from kati rolls to rice bowls, small plates to larger platters—are all vivid, colorful and bold enough to sway even the most consummate meat eater.

Tamago, faintly sweet Japanese omelet.

Onigiri rice ball stuffed with smoked curry trout.

Miso soup.

HOW TO ORDER: Caviar.

2. Ex Novo 2326 N Flint Ave., 503-894-8251, exnovobrew.com.

At this darling craft brewery, the tap list always intrigues, the flights come in fours, and 100 percent of profits are donated to charity. The tap list is divided into categories, like “Hop Forward” and “Light and Fresh.” But even the flagship Eliot IPA, which falls into the former, is well balanced: crisp, dry and hardly a hop bomb at 65 IBUs.

3. Gigantic 5224 SE 26th Ave., 503-208-3416, giganticbrewing.com.

Gigantic feels like a scrappy upstart that still can’t believe it made it big. Hidden in an industrial area just west of Reed College, the 8-year-old operation feels like a secret clubhouse The brewery has built its reputation on a beer that never changes, the crowd-pleasing flagship IPA, as well as its constantly rotating lineup of seasonals.

4. Sasquatch Brewing 2531 NW 30th Ave., 503-841-5687, sasquatchbrewery.com.

Sasquatch’s flagship location in Hillsdale is typically home to the brewery’s more experimental batches—though on any given day, the Portland taproom has a lineup that’s both reliable and adventurous.

1. Away Days Brewing 1516 SE 10th Ave., 503-206-4735, awaydaysbrewing.com.

The owners of popular British-themed pub Toffee Club took over this space and the brewery within it upon the closing of Scout Beer in early 2019, bringing on ex-Alameda brewer Marshall Kunz to help make English-style ales. All beers lean toward a more classic malty balance than fruitbombed modernity—there’s even the occasional lager for good measure.

Chirashi, or “scattered sushi”: salted king salmon, Oregon bay shrimp dressed in a soy sauce emulsion, salmon roe cured in soy sauce and served on a bed of rice.

Japanese-style Caesar salad topped with cherrywoodsmoked duck breast. Also contains spiced carrot, marinated seaweed and Dungeness crab with pickled fennel, turnip and burdock root.

5. Wayfinder Beer 304 SE 2nd Ave., 503-718-2337, wayfinder.beer.

Head brewer Kevin Davey’s German-style brews have snagged medals at the Great American Beer Festival two years in a row. If ever there were a beer that could transport you to the brauhauses of Munich, it would be Wayfinder Hell, a crisp and snappy lager with a gasp of citrus.

The food is packaged in an eco-friendly “kray box” with windowed top.

Nodoguro’s bento boxes can be ordered at nodoguro-eleusis-shop.myshopify.com for curbside pickup at 2832 SE Belmont St. $65. Supplies are limited.

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COURTESY OF JASON COHEN

RECIPE

Flat Affect

doesn’t feel that far off.”

On his website, Mayer sells a “DIY kosher kit.” It includes a lengthy deconstruction of Passover traditions, but mostly it works like Field of Dreams: If you say it’s kosher, then it is. Mayer’s personal

BY JAS O N CO H E N @cohen esque philosophy is simply to follow common sense. Stay away from bread and breadQuestion the kosherness of Rabbi like things, such as bagels, muffins Brian Zachary Mayer’s matzo recipe, and pastries. Otherwise, make your and he’ll respond with a profanity matzo however you want. stronger than “oy vey.”

“We went with the letter of the “You are the foremost authority law and missed the spirit of the on your own religious beliefs once law,” he says. “The spirit of the law you’re past 13,” says the Portland is, don’t eat things that are puffed rabbi without portfolio, whose webup. Don’t eat things that are full of site, Religion Outside the Box, has a themselves.” “congregation” of 3,000 email subscribRABBI BRIAN Of course, during this pandemic ZACHARY MAYER ers and social media followers. “If you’re an Passover, people have to do what they can adult, it’s between you and God what you eat.” with whatever they can—even some Orthodox Mayer has been selling matzo and teaching matzo- rabbis are saying it’s all right to go on Zoom for Seder. making classes for five years, sometimes in partnership So if you’re Jewish and can’t or won’t go to the store, or with Kim Boyce of Bakeshop in Northeast Portland. can’t find matzo in stock, the home-baked version is an This year, he taught a class on Zoom, drawing more easy solution. And if you’re not Jewish, well, you don’t than 50 viewers from seven different states, as well as need hard-to-find yeast or slow-developing sourdough the U.K. to make homemade flatbread.

The main difference between homemade matzo and the boxed stuff is that homemade matzo actu- INGREDIENTS ally tastes good—and there’s a reason for that. Strictly speaking, Mayer’s recipe, which includes flour, honey, • 4 cups all-purpose flour eggs, olive oil, salt and black pepper, does not meet • 1 tablespoon black pepper kosher guidelines. Those rules demand that matzo • ½ teaspoon salt be made out of nothing more than flour and water, not even salt. The “bread of affliction” also has to be • 6 tablespoons honey mixed and baked in less than 18 minutes, theoretically • 4 large eggs, beaten simulating food preparation before the Jewish people’s • 4 teaspoons olive oil hasty exodus from Egypt.

• 8 tablespoons water But the way Mayer sees it, so-called traditional rabbis “have brainwashed you to think that they have 1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees. a monopoly on saying what’s kosher and what’s not kosher. I think the quibbling on ‘Is it kosher or not?’ 2. In a large mixing bowl, combine flour, salt and peptakes the focus off where it should be, which is about per and whisk. Add the beaten eggs, honey and olive oil, and just enough of the water to make a very dry dough. celebrating freedom in the midst of oppression.”

Mayer’s matzo recipe dates back to the Spanish Mix well, but do not overmix.

Inquisition, where it was made in secret by a woman 3. Divide into 12 equal portions and shape into balls. named Angelina de Leon. Her story was unearthed by On a lightly floured surface, use a rolling pin to shape academics and first published in The New York Times each ball into a thin disk, about 8 inches in diameter. in 1997, which is how Mayer first saw it. He found de Pierce all over with a fork, dough docker, or pattern Leon to be more relatable than Moses. tracing wheel “Slaves in Egypt, I can’t get my head around,” he 4. Bake on a sheet pan or cookie sheet for 10 minutes, says. “But living in Spain in hiding, making matzo, I or until matzos are puffed and begin to brown. Cool on get a sense of that a little better. It gave me a much racks. Should yield 12 8-inch matzos.“Eat, rememberbetter sense of Passover, to eat this matzo, and to have ing that freedom is found on the inside.” solidarity with this ancestor. Especially in this age, it

A homemade matzo recipe for quarantined Passover.

24

COURTESY OF CHRISTINE HEELEY

FOOD & DRINK

Willamette Week APRIL 8, 2020 wweek.com

Here, Drink This Bartender Christine Heeley shares her favorite, dirt-simple quarantine cocktails.

BY CHRIST IN E HEEL EY

You can’t go to a bar right now, but that doesn’t mean you can’t bring the bar into your home. Here, Christine Heeley, bartender at Vendetta on North Williams Avenue, offers recipes for three easy—very easy—cocktails you can make right in your kitchen.

The Shift Drink • 1½ ounces sweet ginger Crater Lake Vodka • Ginger beer • Lemonade 7-Up Mix the vodka with equal parts ginger beer and 7-Up.

Tequila Boredom • • • •

A fifth of tequila, preferably El Jimador 2 jalapeño peppers Citrus juice, preferably pineapple or orange Margarita salt

1. Cut the jalapeños in half and remove seeds. Put in an airtight container with the tequila, and leave in the fridge 24-48 hours.

Remove and strain.

2. Mix half of the now-spicy tequila with the juice.

3. Line the rim of your glass with salt—or be bold and use Lucas

Zero Fucks • 1½ ounces Monopolowa vodka • 1 can of flavored seltzer schlepped home from the corner market that is still thankfully open 1. Grab an unused coffee cup, or crawl out of your depression hole and bring yourself to clean one.

2. Combine the flavored water with vodka. Chug it. Enjoy.

Worry.

POTLANDER

High Art Bored and stoned? Here are four weed-inspired craft projects to help pass the time in isolation.

BY BRI ANNA WH EELE R

The world feels so fragile and surreal right now.

There are days when reality seems too slippery to grasp, and the hours between dawn and dusk end up being spent like an unexpected layover in an unfamiliar time zone where you have no idea what to do with yourself besides sit and wait. Like strangers stuck in an eerie airport terminal, we must find a way to pass the time beyond nervous scrolling, melancholic weeping, or sad napping, lest we lose our damn minds and miss our flight out of here.

Maintaining focus in times of great anxiety is a tall order, but ask any consummate stoner, and they’ll tell you a story about that one time they got astronomically high and were coaxed back to earth with some basic, rudimentary act of creativity—which is to say, a colorful distraction can often replace a terrifying reality with one of peaceful calm.

In other words, if you’re finding yourself overwhelmed by the current state of the world, you can find your way back to earth by asking one question: “What would a crafty stoner do?”

I reached out to Amy Zimmerman, co-founder and social media manager for the Portland chapter of cannabis crafting club Tokativity, for simple, everyday projects fun for creatives and left-brainers alike. When paired with a complementary cannabis strain, these crafts can make quarantine feel less like an end-times punishment and more like a stimulating lifestyle choice.

(Rolling) Paper Marbling

DIY Stoner Buddy

WHAT IS IT? An art that dates back to the 10th century, paper marbling occurs when color is floated atop water or another viscous solution and then carefully transferred to a surface, such as paper or fabric. Chances are, demonstrations of the practice have already found their way into your Instagram feed. It’s a surprisingly elegant craft used in bookbinding and other paper arts, and you probably have everything you need to do it in your own home.

WHAT IS IT? If you’ve already tested positive for missing the homies, a sock puppet is a totally not disturbing way to manufacture some muchneeded companionship. No 6-foot barrier required, and you can even pretend to “share” joints.

WHAT YOU NEED: Shaving cream,

food coloring, paper.

WHAT YOU DO: Spray some shaving cream in a pie or baking dish and dot it with food colorings of your choice. Drag the tines of a fork through the top layer, swirling the colors without mixing them.

Press paper gently into the surface of the mixture, peel out, and scrape off the residual shaving cream. You will be left with your own bespoke rolling papers.

WHAT TO SMOKE: Acapulco Gold. Find it at Chalice Farms, 5333 SE Powell Blvd., 503-788-9999, chalicefarms.com.

WHAT YOU NEED: One sacrificial sock, strong glue (E6000 or hot glue), yarn, fabric, buttons or coins (for eyes), some type of Jim Henson production playing in the background for inspiration.

WHAT YOU DO: Place the sock on your hand and start gluing things onto it until it resembles your new quarantine buddy. Maybe name it Wilson.

WHAT TO SMOKE: Fruit Punch. Find it at Left Coast Connection, 10055 NE Glisan St., 971-407-3049, leftcoastconnection.com.

Bird Feeder/Non-Human Friend Maker

Raise the Whole ’Hood’s Spirits

WHAT IS IT? When human contact is suddenly off limits, the idea of going full Snow White and making friends with the neighborhood fauna gets instantly more attractive. With spring in mind, start by befriending the songbirds whose harmonies remind us that nature continues to do its thing without us.

WHAT IS IT? On your next scheduled

WHAT YOU NEED: A large pine cone,

about a tablespoon of seed or nut butter, birdseed, one length of string.

WHAT YOU DO: Slather the pine cone in peanut butter, roll it in birdseed, and hang it from a tree, balcony or awning, preferably close enough to your main stone zone so you can gaze appreciatively at your new BFFs while puffing.

isolation walk, collect a handful of rocks. After thorough washing, disinfecting and sterilization—of you and your new street rocks—paint said rocks and conspicuously place them around the neighborhood.

W H AT YO U N E E D : Street rocks,

paint.

WHAT YOU DO: Paint a pretty picture on them there street rocks and scatter ’em outdoors for people to enjoy.

WHAT TO SMOKE: Sour Diesel. Find

it at Green Gratitude, 10322 SE Holgate Blvd., 503-444-7707, greengratitude.us.

WHAT TO SMOKE: Cinex. Find it at Nebula Cannabis, 11605 SE Powell Blvd.,

503-477-5799, nebulapdx.com.

Willamette Week APRIL 8, 2020 wweek.com

25

PERFORMANCE

BOOKS MIKE LINDBERGH

PREVIEW

XANA-REDU: Illya DeTorres and Sarah DeGrave.

StageWorks Incubation The company known for over-the-top musical adaptations will stream past productions during the pandemic.

BY JAY H O RTO N

@Hortland

Among all the industries devastated by the coronavirus outbreak, live theater may be the hardest hit.

Steve Coker, StageWorks Ink’s artistic director, had planned to open his musical adaptation of Popeye on April 10 at the Clinton Street Theater before disaster struck.

“I adapted the script, my roommate figured out the music, we cast the actors, had one week of rehearsals, and boom, we were done,” he laughs.

“Even if we recorded the show to share online, there are more than 10 people in the cast and crew.”

That’s forced Coker to adapt by digging into StageWorks’ vault of shows. Over the next four Saturday evenings, he’ll be streaming a different prior production on Facebook, while serving as virtual master of ceremonies.

“If people want to type out comments, I’ll respond during intermission and open it up for a Q&A at the end,” Coker says. “Our actors will send a couple of comments via video. I’ll do a quick introduction talking about the inspiration for the show and maybe give some anecdotes.”

As the pandemic spreads, the internet has become a common refuge for stage professionals unable to perform before audiences in person, though Coker believes StageWorks’ past attention to cinematographic quality renders the company’s recordings markedly different from the footage streamed by other troupes around town.

“Everybody started getting content out there immediately,” he admits, “whether that means reading a monologue or…anything, really. A friend of mine who cooks wants to livestream making dinner. But I don’t know any companies that have taped as extensively as we have. Most people just use a single camera to shoot the entire show. We had four cameras for Xana-Redu, and I went back and edited all the angles together for a really great video of the amazing dancing.”

That attention to visual details stems from the director’s background. After leaving the Art Institute of Portland in 2007 on the advice of a teacher who said his tuition money would be better spent on filmmaking, Coker set out on the path of a young auteur— 26

Willamette Week APRIL 8, 2020 wweek.com

writing, directing and acting in his debut feature, Crackin’ the Code, the following year. He’d also started organizing effect-laden script readings under the StageWorks banner and, for the company’s first fullblown play at the Rialto’s Jack London Revue in 2013, staged Varsity Cheerleader Werewolves Live From Outer Space—a passably professional proof-of-concept video starring Daniel Baldwin made to attract financing for production. You’ll have the opportunity to see the rollicking cabaret-style show April 25.

“I’d trimmed down the story to about an hour,” Coker recalls, “and the actors felt they could memorize that. A friend of mine said costumes would be more engaging. Then, a cast member thought we should have dance numbers. If we weren’t going to be able turn these girls into werewolves, she asked: ‘Why can’t they just become sexy?’ The bar crowd lost their minds, and quite by accident, we had a theater piece.”

Though the writer-director’s cinematic sensibilities tend to lean toward subdued narratives and natural dialogue, his second life as a theatrical showman is the complete opposite: Coker enjoys putting on high-concept, low-budget extravaganzas. Xana-Redu (April 11), for instance, features choreography by modern dance troupe TriptheDark and an electronic score by Funhouse Lounge musical director Jim Liptak. Coker, a former puppeteer, used a ventriloquist dummy for a Cry-Baby tribute (April 18). To achieve the transcendent kitsch of beloved 1980 space opera Flash Gordon, StageWorks’ production of Flash AhAhhh! (May 2) faithfully replicated the camp mayhem atop a medley of Queen’s greatest hits.

Coker maintains hope that cast and venue schedules will allow StageWorks’ Popeye to one day grace the stage. But hitting pause and revisiting past productions could expose the company to new viewers.

“It just became clearer and clearer that our company wouldn’t be allowed to do Popeye,” Coker says, “but there’s certainly enough people around their living rooms right now who haven’t seen any of our work.”

SEE IT: StageWorks Ink will stream Xana-Redu, CryBaby, Varsity Cheerleader Werewolves Live From Outer Space and Flash Ah-Ahhh! on its Facebook page at 7:30 pm Saturday, April 11-May 2.

Written by: Scout Brobst / Contact: sbrobst@wweek.com

FIVE RECENT-ISH BOOKS BY PORTL AND AUTHORS

Cheston Knapp, Up Up, Down Down (2018)

Knapp, former managing editor of Tin House, is the kind of writer you would want to hear a long, winding story from at happy hour— remember happy hour?

His debut essay collection finds its sweet spot in its refusal to leave any weirdlooking stones unturned.

One story addresses Knapp’s time at a skateboard camp he mistakenly took for an adult operation, only to find himself surrounded by campers young enough to be his children. Another story chronicles his transition from lacrosse-playing, Greekloving frat bro to tender reader of high literature. The collection is written with such acute self-awareness that his funny, effectual prose becomes immediately enduring—the type of content quarantine is built for.

Ashley Toliver, Spectra (2018)

Toliver’s poetry collection reads like an immersive virtual reality experience you can’t quite get away from. As she deconstructs the self, she deconstructs the reader, speaking to the human experience in an unapologetic, authoritative voice. “I still don’t know what kind of woman/I am,” she writes. “But as the flame nears the fingers/that trust the match, as close as the skin/can stand it to singe, I call this the nerve/to find out.” It’s a startling debut that earned Toliver a finalist citation for the Believer Book Awards and solidified her spot in the ranks of must-read Portland poets.

Meaghan O’Connell, And Now We Have Everything (2018)

On a podcast a few years back, Portland author Meaghan O’Connell said the quintessential childbirth story was a rite of passage for writers who also happen to be mothers. Indeed, And Now We Have Everything takes the reader through 24 hours of gruesome, hyperrealistic labor, but it doesn’t stop there—in the sharp, relatable prose that has made her a favorite at New York magazine’s The Cut, O’Connell dives headfirst into all the dogged realities of unplanned pregnancy and the life that comes after. Whether or not you’re a mother or father, or aspiring to any sort of parenthood, O’Connell’s memoir is essential reading for those of us who were born at some point. So, everyone.

Mitchell S. Jackson, Survival Math (2019)

In an interview last year, Mitchell Jackson said he didn’t mind if readers came to his book Survival Math to understand the “black experience”—you can’t hold on to that reductive mindset after reading the book. Survival Math is a long-form sketch of Jackson’s childhood in Northeast Portland, told in a series of poetic, boiling essays. Within each section, Jackson weaves stories of his family, reflecting on exactly what it takes to survive when you exist on the queasy underside of the American epic. Jackson is now based in New York City, but his status as a Portland-grown author remains intact, and Survival Math is an essential Portland read if there ever was one.

Susan Leslie Moore, That Place Where You Opened Your Hands (2020)

Even though Moore is just now publishing her first full-length collection of poems, she’s hardly a newcomer to the Portland literary scene.

Outside her main gig as the director of programs for writers at Literary Arts, Moore has spent the past decade contributing to all the big dogs in the poetry world, including New York Quarterly and Willow Springs.

Her debut collection, That Place Where You Opened Your Hands, slips between the surreal and the mundane, bringing life’s natural strangeness into dialogue with art, spirituality and the greater world. For those who are feeling a Portland Art Museum-sized hole in their lives, enjoy the fact that one poem, “Diary From the Red House,” waxes lyrical about a Camille Pissarro painting currently hanging in isolation.

MOVIES

Editor: Andi Prewitt / Contact: aprewitt@wweek.com

While local repertory theaters are out of commission, we’ll be putting together weekly watchlists of films readily available to stream. This week, we celebrate the female gaze with features written and directed by women.

Portrait of a Lady on Fire (2019) “Do all lovers feel they’re inventing something?” Céline Sciamma’s timeless lesbian love story is set on an isolated French island, where an artist is commissioned to paint another woman’s wedding portrait. Sizzling with impossible yearning and bolstered by luscious cinematography, Portrait is arguably the best film to come out of 2019. Hulu.

Hit the Bricks Two Oregonians are among the final three teams competing on the new show Lego Masters.

BY AND I P REWITT

The Farewell (2019) Speaking of superlative 2019 releases, this poignant portrait of a family in crisis is based on writer-director Lulu Wang’s actual experiences. After flying back to China following news that her grandmother is sick, Chinese American Billie (Awkwafina) struggles with culture clash when her relatives choose to keep Grandma in the dark about her diagnosis. Amazon Prime, Google Play, Vudu, YouTube.

Red Road (2006) With gritty realism, masterful subtext and a complete lack of manipulative sensationalism, Academy Awardwinning director Andrea Arnold tells the tale of a Glasgow closed-circuit TV operator (Kate Dickie) who becomes obsessed with watching a mysterious man from her past. Highly recommended for fans of Gone Girl.

Criterion Channel, Kanopy.

My Brilliant Career (1979)

COURTESY OF MIRAMAX

On a rural Australian farm at the turn of the 20th century, a fiercely independent woman (Judy Davis) longs for her own career as a writer, despite the courtship of a young Sam Neill. It’s reminiscent of Little Women (minus the sisterhood), which Gillian Armstrong would go on to direct 15 years after this, her debut feature.

Criterion Channel, Kanopy.

Bridget Jones’s Diary (2001) Adapted from Helen Fielding’s eponymous book series and directed by Sharon Maguire, this charming confection follows a chronically single woman (Renée Zellweger) who suddenly finds herself torn between two men: her womanizing boss (Hugh Grant) and a reticent divorcé (Colin Firth). The drama culminates in what is perhaps the most iconic fight scene in romcom history. Amazon Prime, Google Play, Hulu, iTunes, Vudu, YouTube.

COURTESY OF FOX.COM

SCREENER

G E T YOUR REP S I N

aprewitt@wweek.com

To hear Mark Cruickshank and Boone Langston recount the story of how they met, you’d think it was a blend of love at first sight and pure existential awe, the kind that hits when you finally spot your doppelgänger in person.

“I see this guy, and he’s got this big, long beard,” says Langston, who has a similar mane, minus the mustache. “Just two grown men in the Lego aisle.”

“I just remember thinking,” Cruickshank adds, “‘Do I look like that in the Lego aisle?’”

That was about five years ago. Now, the Portland-area duo—Langston lives in Troutdale and Cruickshank in Oregon City—are two episodes away from winning the inaugural season of Lego Masters in the U.S., a new Fox reality competition built around the popular building blocks. Over the past eight episodes of the show, which was filmed last fall and debuted in February, Cruickshank and Langston have consistently demonstrated their prowess as Lego architects, molding thousands of pieces into everything from a multistory food cart to a streamlined bridge capable of holding 1,000 pounds of weight.

They are among the final three teams vying for the grand prize: $100,000, an oversized brick trophy and the coveted title of “Lego Masters.”

Sporting plaid button-down shirts and redtinged facial hair that nearly grazes their collar bones, Langston and Cruickshank look like how the rest of America envisions most Portlanders. The concept of their initial build fortified their Pacific Northwest lumberjack brand: a timber-themed amusement park complete with ax throwing, log rides and a roller coaster meant to zip around a towering tree. That last idea didn’t quite work out, introducing the first of many hitches that come with constructing complex cities and make-believe lands entirely out of tiny plastic bricks.

Before the final installments air the next two Wednesdays, WW caught up with the pair to ask them about the technical and creative hardships they faced, what it’s like to power through a 14-hour competition, and their advice for novice Lego enthusiasts looking to take their skills to the next level.

WW: Boone, you learned Lego Masters was accepting online applicants while attending Comic-Con in San Diego last year and immediately called Mark. How did you know he’d be a great partner?

BUILDING BLOCKS: Locals Boone Langston (left) and Mark Cruickshank met in the Lego aisle.

Boone Langston: Mark can build really fast and really big, amazing stuff, and we just get along really well. I’ve got other collaborators that would do really well with one of those things, but Mark had the all-around package. And we’re super-close friends. I knew that it was going to be a long road to get to the end of the show, if that was our goal. I wanted someone who could just be in it with me. Mark is an easygoing guy and I knew he’d be able to do it—ride the bus and have fun for as long as we could ride the bus.

Mark, what was your reaction when you got the call from Boone?

Mark Cruickshank: When he asked me, I thought, “This will be awesome,” because when we build together he always has these crazy ideas, and I love his crazy ideas. I’m typically really quiet and easygoing and he’s kind of…intense, as you’ve probably seen on the show. He sings, he’s kind of loud, and everyone knows he’s in the room. As far as a partnership goes, that makes perfect sense.

The challenges are eight hours, 10 hours, sometimes even longer. Did you get to rest?

Langston: If it wasn’t a designated time for everyone to eat, we were taking time off the clock. So if we had to go use the bathroom while the clock was running, then we were just losing time. Some people almost never did.

How do you build stamina for that?

Cruickshank: I think of that old expression, “Time flies when you’re having fun.” It says 10 hours on the clock, but then all of a sudden you work and the next time you look at the clock it says four hours. You don’t even know what happened to the rest of that time. You don’t think about having to stop, because no one else is stopping and the clock’s not stopping. You just keep going because it is a competition.

Langston: If I’m home and I’m building a Lego project that’s coming out of my imagination and I’m really on a roll, I might build for four or five hours without really realizing how much time has passed, and then all of a sudden I’m like, “Oh man, it’s 2 in the morning. I should probably get some sleep.” It’s not that different from the kind of experience a person might have when they’re fully engrossed in some sort of creative activity.

What was the most challenging project out of all the episodes that have aired so far?

Langston: For me, the Cut in Half challenge was hard. We had this laptop that was cut in half [and we needed to finish the other half ], and some other builders in the room had really beautiful things, like the cuckoo clock or an antique brass diver’s helmet, and we ended up with this black laptop that was really uninspiring. There was no color involved. It’s such a simple shape—a black rectangle attached to another black rectangle. And the shape of a laptop cut in half isn’t really all that different from the shape of a laptop that isn’t cut in half.

Was there a build you were most proud of ?

Cruickshank: The bridge. We got a lot of feedback online about how ours was very boring and we shouldn’t have won, but that’s a different story. It was one of those things where in person, all the angles were beautiful. We wanted a very minimal bridge that didn’t look like a giant mass of bricks that could hold a lot of weight. Stepping away from that one was probably the most proud I’ve been, and then to have it hold 1,000 pounds was just amazing.

What advice would you give to somebody who wants to up their Lego game and they’ve got all of this time now in quarantine?

Cruickshank: Start with a small base plate and pick a minifig, then build that minifig’s world around it. If you like what you built, then keep on building and make it bigger. It’s one thing being a set builder, but if you can take the sets apart and build them into something else, that’s, like, next-level Lego building.

The contestant lineup is incredibly diverse. Is that reflected in Portland’s Lego community?

Cruickshank: The show actually gives a good representation. Anyone can build Lego. It can be kids, it can be teenagers, it can be adults.

You can be any race. You can believe in whatever you want. Everyone has creativity, and they show it in their own way.

SEE IT: The final episodes of Lego Masters Season 1 air on Fox at 9 pm Wednesday, April 8 and 15.

Willamette Week APRIL 8, 2020 wweek.com

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April 8-14

MOVIES

C O U R T E S Y O F F O C U S F E AT U R E S

OUR KEY

: T H I S M O V I E I S E XC E L L E N T, O N E O F T H E B E S T O F T H E Y E A R. : T H I S M O V I E I S G O O D. W E R E C O M M E N D YO U WATC H I T. : T H I S M O V I E I S E N T E R TA I N I N G B U T F L AW E D. : T H I S M O V I E I S A P I E C E O F S H I T.

TOP PICK OF THE WEEK

Never Rarely Sometimes Always When we first meet 17-year-old Autumn (newcomer Sidney Flanigan), she’s singing in her high school talent show. Everyone around her is dressed up in ’50s and ’60s garb, performing dance routines or mouthing oldie lyrics, and Autumn is clearly out of place. Even though she’s belting out the Exciters’ 1963 song “He’s Got the Power,” it sounds more like something you’d hear on the radio today, and she makes sure to raise her voice when she gets to the chorus: “He makes me do things I don’t want to do.” The crowd boos, but we already love her, and for the next two hours director Eliza Hittman puts Autumn’s entire life on display. In this harsh and heartwarming portrait, Autumn struggles to get an abortion as a poor teenager in the suburbs of Pennsylvania—the title of the film refers to the four optional answers to a health worker’s questions about her sexual history. She and her cousin Skylar (Talia Ryder) end up taking a bus to New York City in order to terminate the pregnancy without parental consent. Along the way, we are confronted with a bleak style of filmmaking that recalls another feminist triumph, Barbara Loden’s first and only feature from 1970, Wanda. With 16 mm close-ups and barren landscapes that mirror Autumn’s inner despair, Hittman has expertly shot the picture through the protagonist’s eyes. It may not be pretty, but it is worth witnessing yet another female fight for control of her life and body. R. ASHER LUBERTO. On Demand.

ALSO PLAYING Blow the Man Down While trapped at home under quarantine, it’s only natural to look for ways to escape. Right now, it seems one of our only options is using streaming services as virtual trips to new places. Amazon Prime’s new release Blow the Man Down takes audiences to Maine, where the atmosphere washes over you with its chilly blues and frosty whites. In a gritty fishing village called Easter Cove, director of photography Todd Banhazl captures the hardscrabble lives of its residents by using a lot of natural lighting and digitally re-created Super 8 footage of the town. Things get darker once bodies start washing ashore. The police are Fargo-level dumb. And that’s actually good for sisters Priscilla (Sophie Lowe) and Mary Beth (Morgan Saylor), who end up stabbing a rapist with a harpoon and stealing his bag of cash. “Someone’s going to miss this,” says Mary Beth. Duh. Don’t go fishing for meaning why this neo-noir flips gender roles, with two girls pulling the strings, but it’s a refreshing twist. Blow the Man Down may not be the idyllic vacation you’re looking for, but it sure is fun. R. ASHER LUBERTO. Amazon Prime.

First Avenue: Closer to the Stars With any luck, public rituals like concertgoing will resume sometime in 2020, but for now, we involuntary couch potatoes 28

Willamette Week APRIL 8, 2020 wweek.com

can sweat or sway vicariously through PBS’s new documentary about First Avenue. This 55-minute love note to the iconic Minneapolis music venue, made famous by Purple Rain, was produced first for a Twin Cities audience. That means it includes some very insular information (like who had what liquor license when), but also no breathless oversells on who this Prince character was.

Narrated by Doomtree’s P.O.S, the standard rock doc’s best quality is in showing how First Avenue shape-shifted through the eras of Woodstock rock, disco, punk, Prince (his own era), hip-hop and indie rock. Every town in America was home to some bygone club its music community wishes had First Avenue’s survival skills, but here we learn how the 50-year-old Minneapolis institution was never financially safe, was never all-the-way cool and never operated according to one coherent mission statement. Ironically, it took incredible inconsistency to create consistency: DJs who knew they needed to spin ABBA but still snuck in Brian Eno, a business benefactor who was terrible with money and, eventually, a grateful city that couldn’t live without the legacy. NR. CHANCE SOLEMPFEIFER. PBS.

The Hunt Critics panned it. The president hated it. But I found myself elated by The Hunt, a social satire that uses provocation as ammunition, with both sides of the political divide in its crosshairs. Since this is a riff on 1932’s The Most Dangerous Game, expect a bunch

NEVER RARELY SOMETIMES ALWAYS

of humans to be hunted, and every viewer to be grazed by the hilarious dialogue. In one corner are the “rednecks,” a pack of whites in flannels who wake up gagged in a field and are then shot at. These early scenes are remarkably well orchestrated, making us believe someone is a main character, only to show their brains turn into a cloud of red mist seconds later. In the other corner are the “liberal elites,” hunters who care more about podcasts than human lives. The thorn in their side is a woman named Crystal who speaks with a Southern twang and becomes a backwoods hero, played by GLOW’s Betty Gilpin with a ferocity that matches Charlotte Christensen’s cinematography. The harsh reviews that fly in the face of The Hunt’s brilliant performances and smart satire only drive home the point of the movie: Narrowminded political divisiveness drives pretty much everything these days. R. ASHER LUBERTO. On Demand.

The Invisible Man The most recent version of H.G. Wells’ famed story The Invisible Man, which had been in development since 2007 and was originally slated to feature Johnny Depp (no thanks) as a possessive, psychotic husband who fakes his own suicide, is now informed by the #MeToo movement. The brilliant Elisabeth Moss embodies the invisibility of abused women whose reports are often disbelieved with a typical top-shelf performance as Cecilia. It’s a bit surprising that director Leigh Whannell, known mostly for writing the Saw films, was given such a project, but he mostly guides the film ably, particularly with his use of negative space to ratchet up the intensity of scenes featuring the title character. Whannell also scores points for realizing this is Moss’ vehicle and letting his talented star shine, but many of the characters around her are poorly written and, minus a charming turn by Aldis Hodge as Cecilia’s supportive friend, are painfully two-dimensional. While The Invisible Man never quite reaches the Hitchcockian heights it aims for, it is a largely successful, if flawed, thriller that further cements Moss as a generational talent. R. DONOVAN FARLEY. On Demand.

The Platform The Platform works on two levels: First and foremost, Galder Gaztelu-Urrutia’s horror flick is a master class in building atmosphere, but it also functions as an allegory about the detrimental effects of trickle-down economics. Inside a prison with 250 floors, you can practically feel the cold cement enveloping the inmates. When a platter of food descends from one level to the next, with a minute for cellmates to scarf down what’s left, it’s clear that the lower classes are merely feeding on the upper echelon’s scraps. While there is nothing subtle about the message, there is a mysterious tone to the story. Since it moves at a snail’s pace (in a good way), we spend much of the run time trying to figure out what is going on, just like the protagonist, Goreng (Iván Massagué).

His goal is to restore order to this rotten world, but that’s no easy task when other inmates are considering cannibalism to stay alive. A dash of Camus, a sprinkle of Kafka and helpings of Lovecraft, The Platform will leave you both sick and satisfied. R. ASHER LUBERTO. Netflix.

Onward Pixar Animation Studios may have found sublime pathos in stories of cars, fish, superheroes and toys, but it fails to do the same for road-tripping elves. Set in an alternate reality where magic spells and mundane technologies coexist, Onward chronicles the misadventures of two elf brothers (voiced by Tom Holland and Chris Pratt) on a quest for a gem that will resurrect their dead father for one day. The film is filled with glorious sight gags, from a gargantuan cheese puff that the pair use as a boat to a concrete dragon that’s as scary as it is silly. What Onward lacks is the emotional ferocity of Pixar wonders like The Incredibles, Inside Out and WALL-E. The film’s elvish antics are mildly amusing, but when a studio known for daring both kids and adults to face the terror and beauty of intense feelings settles for making a mechanically cheery movie like Onward, it isn’t just a comedown. It’s cowardice. PG. BENNETT CAMPBELL FERGUSON. Disney+, Movies Anywhere, On Demand.

FLASHBACK

E X AC TLY 1 6 Y E A R S AG O, I N WI LL A M E T TE WE E K . . .

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Spotlight

COURTESY OF THE ARTIST

Featured artist:

luke-buser.com Be a Willamette Week featured artist!

Contact us at art@wweek.com.

THE QUARANTINE 13:

Climbing a mountain is illegal, but you can go to 7-Eleven and buy cigarettes.

1. Dalbello - Gonna Get Close To You

Share your own Top 10 playlist!

ART@WWEEK.COM

30

Willamette Week APRIL 8, 2020 wweek.com

by DJ Acid Rick

6. Sparks - Kiss Me Quick

10. Erasure - Chains of Love

2. Nitzer Ebb - Getting Closer

7. Portable Rock - ウツの (Hold Me)

11. Prince - Feel U Up

3. Boys Say Go - Humanity

8. Front 242 - Body To Body

4. Secession - Touch (Part 3)

9. Absolute Body Control Touch Your Skin

5. Tamaryn Hands All Over Me

12. Iron Maiden - Reach Out 13. Kiss - Who Wants To Be Lonely

JONESIN’

Week of APRIL 8

©2020 Rob Brezsny

by Matt Jones

"No Time, 2 DY" - aka DY, another DY.

ARIES (March 21-April 19)

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

Moses did forty years' worth of hard work in behalf of his people, delivering them out of slavery in Egypt.

Yet God didn't allow him to enter into the Promised Land. Why? At the end of his travails, he made a minor mistake that angered God beyond reason.

Petty? Harsh? Very much so. I'm happy to say that your fate will be very different from Moses'. Some months from now, when your labors bring you to the brink of your own personal version of the Promised Land, not even a small error will prevent you from entering and enjoying it. And what you do in the coming weeks will help ensure that later success.

Before the COVID-19 crisis arrived, were you ensconced in roles that were good fits for your specific temperament and set of talents? Did you occupy niches that brought out the best in you and enabled you to offer your best gifts? Were there places that you experienced as power spots—where you felt at home in the world and at peace with your destiny? Once you've meditated on those questions for a while, Libra, I'll ask you to shift gears: Meditate on how you'd like to answer similar questions about your life in the future. Once this crazy time has passed, what roles will be good fits for you? What niches will bring out the best in you? What will be your power spots?

TAURUS (April 20-May 20)

Across 1 Last letter 6 Part of R&R 10 "Nae" sayer?

14 Japanese dish meaning "pulled noodles" 15 You can smell it from a dumpster fire 16 '80s "This Old House" host Bob

54 Language seen at some gubernatorial press conferences 55 "So what else?"

56 Retirement spot?

59 Goes on the radio 61 Buffalo Bob Smith's puppet 64 Health plan prefix 65 Dramatic honor

28 Can in a bar 29 Basic verb in Versailles 30 Hand-cranked instrument 31 Excavator 35 Sings outside a window (hey, that's distancing!)

36 Modigliani work, often 37 "By jove!"

17 Friend who helps with homework

66 Jim Henson character

39 Workplace with nonunion members

67 Accepts as true

42 Bulldog's cousin

19 Computer operating system developed by Bell Labs

68 Battleship markers

43 Controversial director Kazan

20 Aptly named Quaker cereal

69 Leases an apartment

Down

44 More pleased 45 Extra A's take it from "That feels good" to "What the f*$#"

21 Measure for weighing boats

1 _ _ _ it seems

22 Tirane's land, for short

3 Birds with green eggs

24 506, in Roman numerals

4 Diploma alternative

25 Word before chimes or chill

5 "Whenever you want"

49 Second squad in a game, perhaps

6 Like some plane tickets

50 "Au revoir!"

7 Hall formerly of "The Tonight Show"

51 Classroom sphere

26 Gave the go-ahead 28 Powerful giant 32 Chicago daily, briefly 33 Chopin technical piece

2 Sum work?

8 Vending machine contents, maybe

48 Rainbow Dash or Fluttershy, e.g.

56 Onetime capital on the Rhine 57 Work on Wikipedia, e.g.

34 Australian actress in "Damages" and "Bridesmaids"

9 Attempt to contact again

58 Does some hair coloring

10 "Law & Order" spinoff, initially

60 Bro's sib

38 Lapse 39 Edmonton hockey player

11 TV kid in the lower left corner

40 Leo/Virgo mo.

12 Food with a pimiento

41 Flakes in a pizzeria packet

13 Rides around Manhattan

44 "In-A-___-Da-Vida" 46 Christmas season 47 Shown again 49 Identifying, on Facebook 52 Nautical zookeeper 53 Relative of .org

18 One-named Irish rocker 23 Pet parakeet, say, to meme-makers 25 Join together 27 Home improvement letters

©2020 Jonesin’ Crosswords (editor@jonesincrosswords.com) For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle #JNZ983.

62 Accessory on "RuPaul's Drag Race" 63 Hematite, for one

last week’s answers

Built in the third century B.C., the Colossus of Rhodes was a monumental statue of the Greek sun god. It stood in the harbor of the island of Rhodes, and was called one of the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World. Alas: An earthquake struck the area 54 years after it was finished, knocking it over and smashing it into fragments. Three centuries later, many of the chunks still lay scattered around the harbor. I offer this as a teaching story, Taurus. If there are any old psychological ruins lying around in your psyche, I encourage you to conduct an imaginary ritual in which you visualize throwing those ruins into a big bonfire. Clear the slate for the new beginnings that will be available once the COVID-19 crisis has settled down.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

GEMINI (May 21-June 20)

"Goodness alone is never enough," wrote author Robert A. Heinlein. "A hard, cold wisdom is required for goodness to accomplish good. Goodness without wisdom always accomplishes evil." I think that's an interesting thought for you to consider during the coming weeks, Sagittarius. If you want your care and compassion to be effective, you'll have to synergize them with tough intelligence. You may even need to be a bit ferocious as you strive to ensure that your worthy intentions succeed and the people you love get what they need.

"Argue with anything else," writes author Philip Pullman, "but don't argue with your own nature."

Amen! That's always good advice for you Geminis, and it will be especially crucial in the coming weeks.

A certain amount of disputation and challenging dialogue with other people will be healthy for you, even an effective way to get clarity and advance your aims. (Don't overdo it, of course.) But you must promise never to quarrel with or criticize your own nature. You should aim at being a radiant bastion of inner harmony and a powerhouse of self-love.

Do whatever's necessary to coax all your different aspects to work together in sweet unity.

CANCER (June 21-July 22) Like many Cancerians, painter Marc Chagall cultivated an intimate relationship with his dreams and fantasies. His fellow artist Pablo Picasso remarked, "When Chagall paints, you do not know if he is asleep or awake. Somewhere or other inside his head there must be an angel." Being a Crab myself, I know how essential it is for us to be in close connection with reverie and the imagination. Every now and then, though, there come occasions when the demands of the material world need our extra, focused attention—when our dreamy tendencies need to be rigorously harnessed in behalf of pragmatism. Now is one of those times.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22) Is there an influence you're ready to outgrow, Leo? Are there teachers who have given you all they have to offer, and now you need to go in search of new founts of inspiration and education? Have you squeezed all possible value out of certain bright ideas and clever theories that no longer serve you? Are you finished with old sources of excitement that have lost their excitement? These are the kinds of questions I encourage you to ask yourself in the coming weeks.

It'll be a favorable time to celebrate the joyful art of liberation—to graduate from what might have been true once upon a time, and prepare for the wide-open future after the COVID-19 crisis has mellowed.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) Your words of power in the coming days are simple: deep, low, down, below, dig, dive, and descend. I invite you to meditate on all the ways you can make them work for you as metaphors and use them to activate interesting, nourishing feelings. There'll be very little worth exploring on the surface of life in the coming weeks, Virgo. All the hottest action and most valuable lessons will be blooming in the fertile darkness.

"Fen" is a word that's not used much these days. It means a marsh or a boggy lowland. Decades ago, Scorpio poet Marianne Moore used it in a short poem. She wrote, "If you will tell me why the fen appears impassable, I will tell you why I think that I can cross it if I try." In my opinion, that's an apt battle cry for you right now. You shouldn't be upset if people tell you that certain things are impossible for you to do. You should be grateful! Their discouragement will rile up your deep intelligence and inspire you to figure out how you can indeed do those things.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) Are there any ways in which you have been wishywashy in standing up for what you believe in? Have you shied away from declaring your true thoughts and feelings about important issues that affect you and the people you care about? Have you compromised your commitment to authenticity and integrity for the sake of your ambition or financial gain? In asking you these questions, I am not implying that the answers are yes. But if in fact you have engaged in even a small amount of any of those behaviors, now is an excellent time to make corrections. As much as possible, Capricorn, focus on being trustworthy and transparent.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) Physicist Edward Teller believed there is no such thing as "exact science." And in his view, that's a good thing. "Science has always been full of mistakes," he said. But he added that they're mostly "good mistakes," motivating scientists to push closer toward the truth. Each new mistake is a better mistake than the last, and explains the available evidence with more accuracy. I suspect that you've been going through a similar process in your personal life, Aquarius. And I predict that the good mistakes you've recently made will prove to be useful in the long run.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20) Few astrologers would say that you Pisceans are masters of the obvious or connoisseurs of simplicity.

You're not typically renowned for efficiency or celebrated for directness. Your strength is more likely to be rooted in your emotional riches, your ability to create and appreciate beauty, your power to generate big dreams, and your lyrical perspective on life. So my oracle for you this time may be a bit surprising. I predict that in the coming weeks, your classic attributes will be very useful when applied to well-grounded, down-to-earth activities. Your deep feelings and robust imagination can be indispensable assets in your hard work on the nuts and bolts.

HOMEWORK: Rilke said, "If the Angel comes, it will be because you have convinced her, not by tears, but by your humble resolve to always be a beginner." Any comments?

Check out Rob Brezsny’s Expanded Weekly Audio Horoscopes & Daily Text Message Horoscopes

freewillastrology.com The audio horoscopes are also available by phone at

1-877-873-4888 or 1-900-950-7700 Willamette Week Classifieds APRIL 8, 2020 wweek.com

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You have the right to appear as a party in this proceeding. The failure of a parent to appear at the Initial Hearing, the Pretrial Conference, the Status Conference or the Termination Adjudication Hearing may result in an adjudication terminating the parent-child relationship of that parent. failure of a parent to appear at the Initial Hearing, the Pretrial Conference, the Status Conference or the Termination Adjudication Hearing, without good cause, may result in a finding that the parent has waived legal rights and is deemed to have admitted the allegations in the Petition.

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