43.09 - Willamette Week, December 28, 2016

NEWS

Ducks got deer drunk. P. 9

“THIS IS THE COOLEST WINE BAR IN THE WORLD.” P. 35 WWEEK.COM

VOL 43/09 12.28.2016

CULTURE

Find the best event with our NYE decision tree. P. 23

2016 WAS A DUMPSTER FIRE. LET’S LOOK AT THE NUMBERS. P. 12

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Willamette Week DECEMBER 28, 2016 wweek.com

E m I ly J o a n G r E E n E

FINDINGS

PagE 35

WHAT WE LEARNED FROM READING THIS WEEK’S PAPER

SERVICE SPECIAL

VOL. 42, ISSUE 9.

The new mayor says Chloe Eudaly’s key campaign promise violates state law. 7 R.I.P. DJ Sad Eyez, the most illustratable of men. 11

Pendleton has a family-owned brewery that began way back in 1892. 13 The Hollywood Theatre sold

$400,000 worth of tickets to The Hateful Eight. 16

ON THE COVER:

Ducks got deer drunk. P. 9

“THIS IS THE COOLEST WINE BAR IN THE WORLD.”

Inspired by a webcomic by K.C. green.

NEWS

CULTURE

Find the best event with our NYE decision tree. P. 23

2016 WAS A DUMPSTER FIRE. LET’S LOOK AT THE NUMBERS. P. 12

If you would like to end the year at a chocolate buffet stocked with mousse and truffles, there is a place. 23 The Dandy Warhols singer opened the coolest wine bar in the world, according to the singer of the Dandy Warhols. 35 Rodney King will get the theatrical treatment in Portland this April. 37

OUR MOST TRAFFICKED STORY ONLINE THIS WEEK:

P. 35

The city wants to silence a jazz club. Dozens of clubs playing indie rock appear to be fine. Hmmm.

STAFF Editor & Publisher Mark Zusman EDIToRIal News Editor Aaron Mesh Arts & Culture Editor Martin Cizmar Staff Writers Nigel Jaquiss, Rachel Monahan, Beth Slovic Copy Chief Rob Fernas Copy Editors Matt Buckingham, Maya McOmie Stage Editor Shannon Gormley Screen Editor Walker MacMurdo Projects Editor Matthew Korfhage Music Editor Matthew Singer

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3

PROPOSED MUSIC CURFEW

duties. To learn that he has had unsupervised I’ve been a longtime supporter of City Commis- contact with students and with female guardians sioner Amanda Fritz, but it’s time for her to fire is shameful and concerning.

Furthermore, failure to disclose a conviction Theresa Marchetti and hire a new livability programs manager of the Portland Office of Neigh- is grounds for immediate termination. The interborhood Involvement [“Silent Night,” WW, Dec. im superintendent of Portland Public Schools needs to start terminating staff that continue to 21, 2016].

How wonderful it would be if she helped put students at risk. give the King and Vernon neighborhoods tools —“Game Player” and support instead of going after This is yet another weird paragraph Solae’s Lounge when similar busiin the saga of the unaccountable nesses have the same noise impacts.

I hope Mayor-elect Ted Wheeler regime that PPS Superintendent takes ONI from Fritz and gives it Carole Smith fostered around herself, promoting people who hid to someone who would actually or ignored problems rather than help the bureau support and assist resolved them. neighborhoods and neighborhood concerns.

A lot of those clowns have left, It would probably be a good but many remain in the center of assignment for new Commissioner “Didn’t the things.

—“BruceS” Chloe Eudaly. neighbors —“Support neighborhoods”

have a say

CORRECTION

This proposed 10 pm music curfew An item in last week’s Murmurs before the is targeting the heart of how Solae’s originally said John Bradley hit his liquor Lounge makes money. With most/all In fact, the probable-cause license was wife. of the jazz clubs in Portland closing, affidavit said Bradley “threw her granted?” this location is booking some of that to the ground.” The item also origitalent. It’s live jazz, and it’s a bar. nally said Bradley’s case resulted Didn’t the neighbors have an opportunity in a conviction. In fact, he pleaded guilty to to voice their opinion before the liquor license assault and entered a diversion program. And, Bradley’s attorney said he had allegedly violated was granted?

—“Rocky” a restraining order this month, not that he had conclusively done so. WW regrets the errors.

PPS EMPLOYEE’S CRIMINAL PAST

This is appalling. Background checks do not come back with missing convictions [“History Erased,” WW, Dec. 21, 2016].

This employee has already been accused of harassment and creating a hostile work environment before being relieved of his supervision

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What’s up with all those lame “Stay True to You” anti-pot billboards all over the city? I hear when Big Tobacco had to run antismoking ads, they used market research to deliberately create the worst ads possible. Is that what’s going on here? —Not Impressed

4

Willamette Week DECEMBER 28, 2016 wweek.com

I assume you’re referring to the Philip Morris company’s infamous “Think. Don’t Smoke” campaign, which I think about often and totally did not have to look up in any way.

A 1999 comparison of anti-smoking ads rated “Think. Don’t Smoke” dead last in effectiveness, and cynics suggested the tobacco giant had cooked up a toothless ad on purpose.

Did they? “Think. Don’t Smoke” does tend to present the issue as a binary choice between smoking and doing something many Americans would rather not do. (Other options might have included “Floss. Don’t Smoke,”“Eat Kale. Don’t Inhale,” and “Why Smoke When You Could Be Getting That Long-Overdue Prostate Exam?”)

Sincere or not, science shows that even the best anti-smoking propaganda usually doesn’t work. Pictures of decaying gums merely trigger smokers’ well-developed “la la la I’m not listening” reflex—and if you do manage to scare us, the

stress just makes us want a cigarette.

All of which suggests that the “Stay True to You” ads have an uphill climb—especially with squishy tag lines like, “Being a teenager is hard enough. I’m not sure pot would help.” Not sure? But it’s worth a shot, right? You never know until you try!

In any case, the ads are real. They’re paid for by the Oregon Health Authority, which is worried about research showing that young teens and preteens who use marijuana are more likely to have trouble with learning and memory.

Still, there’s a bit of a chicken-and-egg problem here—how do we know that the kids who smoke pot weren’t dumb to begin with? Maybe that’s a more effective message: “Don’t worry, kids! Pot doesn’t make you dumb—it’s just something that dumb kids do. Want some?”

QUESTIONS? Send them to dr.know@wweek.com

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Landlords Propose Renter Aid Program

Under pressure to respond to the rising cost of housing, the state’s landlord lobby is circulating a proposal to create a $25 million annual Oregon renter assistance program. Like Section 8-style vouchers, the program would pay a portion of the rent for low-income tenants, funded by auctioning tax credits to businesses. It could help 20,000 renters a year if on average the fund awards $100 a month to each renter, says John DiLorenzo, a lobbyist for landlord group Equitable Housing PAC. Oregon House Speaker Tina Kotek, who is championing legislation to allow rent control and end no-cause evictions, is skeptical. ”A new, complicated, taxpayer-funded giveaway to landlords would simply allow them to keep raising rents,” she says. “This proposal is a deliberate attempt to mislead the public and make it appear as if certain property owners are trying to do something about the crisis.” DiLorenzo says his group is looking for solutions that will help “households in need,” and that Kotek’s plan won’t work.

Universal Health Services, which operates more than 200 private psychiatric hospitals across the country, including one in Cedar Hills, is seeking state permission to build a new 100-bed facility in Wilsonville. A yearlong investigation by BuzzFeed found significant problems at UHS facilities, including alleged overbilling and holding patients longer than necessary. UHS denied any wrongdoing. The Oregon Health Authority will issue a decision on UHS’s proposed Wilsonville facility “no later than Jan. 18, 2017.”

PPS Puts on Leave Director Convicted of Prostitution

Portland Public Schools placed its director of school and family partnerships on paid leave last week, immediately after WW published a story that revealed the director, Richard Gilliam, had a 1998 conviction for engaging with a prostitute (“History Erased,” WW, Dec. 21, 2016). Oregon law bars people with prostitution convictions from teaching, and PPS officials said they hold administrators to the same standard. It’s still not clear how PPS hired Gilliam in 2013 with the 1998 nocontest plea on his record.

The school district says it’s investigating. Gilliam, now on unpaid leave, says he’s innocent of the crime, claiming he disclosed it to PPS when he sought employment. “I am confident any unbiased investigation will clear me of any wrongdoing,” he wrote in a statement.

Psychiatric Hospital Operator Seeks Larger Oregon Footprint

An embattled hospital chain is seeking to expand in Oregon during a time of flux in acute mental health services. In her state budget, Gov. Kate Brown proposed closing the 173-bed, $130 million state hospital in Junction City that opened less than two years ago.

Officials in Lane County are lobbying to keep the facility open. At the same time,

Give!Guide Nears the Finish Line

WW’s annual Give!Guide is live and accepting donations at giveguide.org until midnight Dec. 31. Give today and help us reach our goal of 10,000 donors.

NEWS

WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS WEEK

WW: Fill in the blank: The one ordinance the City Council passed this fall that I wish it had waited for my arrival in office is ______.

Ted Wheeler: The CEO tax. I don’t fully understand it or how it’s enforceable.

Testing Ted NEW YEAR, NEW MAYOR: WE GAVE TED WHEELER A POP QUIZ TO SEE IF HE’S READY.

On marijuana, the city should roll back: (a) the fees for business, (b) the regulations, (c) neither, (d) both. (d) Both.

BY R AC H E L M O N A H A N and BETH S LOVI C

Ted Wheeler is tackling a job that keeps ending Portland’s political careers.

So we figured he could handle a few fill-in-the-blank and multiple-choice questions.

Wheeler, a former Multnomah County chairman and Oregon state treasurer, takes office Jan. 1 as Portland mayor.

That makes him the city’s fourth new mayor in four election cycles. Not a single officeholder has even sought re-election since Vera Katz won a third term in 2000.

Outgoing Mayor Charlie Hales leaves behind a legacy of false starts, alienated colleagues and abandoned projects.

Wheeler inherits a police force under scrutiny, a housing market in which rents continue to rise, and voters itching for new blood.

As Wheeler made the rounds of entrance interviews with newspapers, we decided to give him a pop quiz: more than a dozen questions in about five minutes to get decisive answers on pressing policies. He proved agile, informed and quick to challenge the premise of our questions.

With?

The Police Bureau.

Yes or no: Should marijuana be under the purview of the Office of Neighborhood Involvement?

No. But in this scenario it’s not allowed.

Charlie Hales pulls a North Carolina on you, decreeing the mayor In this fake scenario, who would I give it to? can no longer oversee police. To [Mayoral aide] whom do you give the bureau?

Michael Cox. I keep it. I would and am going to keep it.

We want to know which commissioner you would trust with that duty.

On the fly, there’s one commissioner who has served as police commissioner previously. That’s Dan SaltzYes or no: Would you have man. If I’m forced into this hellish voted for the inclusionary game you’ve created for me. zoning policy if you were on the City Council today?

Yes.

Yes or no: Will you consider public financing of campaigns for a budget cut next year?

Everything is on the table.

Yes or no: How did you vote ultimately on Measure 97?

I’ll leave that for future generations.

THOMAS TEAL

Fill in the blank: The political establishment underestimated Chloe Eudaly because ______.

I think that’s a story yet to be written, and I don’t know why. As an aside, I really enjoyed getting to know her. She’s going to be a great addition to City Council.

Yes or no: Do you support Chloe Eudaly’s call for a rent freeze?

No. It is clear that we do not have the authority to impose a unilateral rent freeze and that it would be a violation of state law. I cannot in good conscience say we’re going to violate state law.

True or false: ONI is the city bureau most in need of reform.

It’s tied for first place.

Fill in the blank: Being elected mayor is like ______.

The silly answer is that it’s like having your outer layer of skin burned off. The serious answer: It’s like a good friend handing you their baby and saying, “Please take care of my baby; I’ll be back in five hours.”

How is that leaving that for future generations?

We’re not going to get your voting record.

Isn’t that great? That’s convenient, isn’t it?

I was well on the record with Measure 97.

It’s a yes or no question.

I voted no. But now you have to listen to why I voted no. Measure 97 was a very blunt instrument. It was not well thought out. I said early on—and I think it was borne out—that people would pretty quickly figure out that a gross receipts tax can get passed down to the people who can least afford to pay it, with no protections in place for them. It’s not that we didn’t need the revenues. God knows we need the revenues for public education.

Willamette Week DECEMBER 28, 2016 wweek.com

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NEWS

Top 12 Stories of 2016 THE BUNDY GANG TOPS THE LIST OF ABSURD EVENTS ON WWEEK.COM.

BY WW STA F F

503-243-2122

Who needs fake news?

The WW stories that most fascinated Portland readers in 2016 were too unlikely, absurd and, in many cases, distressing to make up.

Armed militants seized a wildlife refuge, while anarchists smashed up a car dealership to protest the election results. Racist graffiti was smeared on restroom walls at the state’s most progressive private college. A bird endorsed a socialist for president. Ducks got deer drunk.

It all felt a little like the end of the world—or a satirical TV series jumping the shark. But our most popular web stories were hard to forget.

The following is a list of the stories that garnered the most traffic on wweek.com. We’ve excluded some perennial features, including endorsements and guides to food and drink, which always draw a lot of interest.

There’s no way to review these stories and escape the conclusion: We live in interesting times. But look on the bright side: If you’re reading this list, you survived 2016.

1. “Militia Group Takes Over Federal Building in Eastern Oregon Because ‘The Lord Was Not Pleased’”/“The Bundy Gang Is Found Not Guilty,” Jan. 2 and Oct. 27 The story: No Oregon saga captured the national imagination like that of the Bundy Gang, a passel of antigovernment militants who kicked off 2016 by seizing the headquarters of Malheur National Wildlife Refuge and turning it into a snow-dusted paramilitary camp. Led by Ammon Bundy—a former Arizona car rental agency owner with an idiosyncratic Mormon theology, a pocket Constitution and a gun—the posse held the bird sanctuary for more than a month. A violent highway arrest left one man dead and sent much of the remaining gang to Portland to face federal conspiracy charges. A jury found Bundy and his six co-defendants not guilty on all counts—even acquitting the man who was arrested in the government truck he was charged with stealing.

Since then: The stunning verdict raised questions about prosecutorial strategy and seemed to foretell a right-wing, anti-establishment mood sweeping the nation prior to Election Day. Bundy has spent the nine weeks since the acquittal in a Las Vegas jail. He and his brother Ryan refuse to attend hearings for their February trial over the 2014 standoff between ranchers and the government at their father Cliven Bundy’s ranch. Federal prosecutors in

Oregon plan to try seven Bundy acolytes under the same felony charges that failed in October, plus a handful of added misdemeanors. Judge Anna J. Brown says that trial will also begin in February. KARINA BROWN. 2. “People With a Suspicious Amount of University of Oregon Gear Seriously Trashed Shasta Lake Last Weekend,” May 23 The story: University of Oregon students left Slaughterhouse Island in Northern California’s ShastaTrinity National Forest trashed after an annual weekend of partying on houseboats by an estimated 1,000 revelers. Why the destruction? “My personal guess is they have no respect for mankind,” said Sgt. Rob Sandbloom of the Shasta County Sheriff’s Office, “but p r o f e s s i o n a l l y, I don’t know.” The UO fraternity Lambda Chi Alpha sort of apologized, and was suspended by its national leadership.

Since then: No fraternity or sorority has faced any consequences at the University of Oregon. “The situation was thoroughly investigated, but there was not sufficient information available to move forward with the formal student conduct process regarding any specific student group,” says university spokesman Tobin Klinger. Meanwhile, the U.S. Forest Service said it brought in 40 workers to clean up 35 yards of trash. “I was out there picking up used condoms.

Many,” says Forest Service spokeswoman Nancy Henderson. “The alcohol that was left behind, the deer were drinking and getting drunk.” SOPHIA JUNE. 3. “Reed College Targeted by Racist, Homophobic, Anti-Semitic Graffiti,” Nov. 13 The story: In the wake of Donald Trump’s election as president, not even Portland was immune to the invective spewing from people who would use his victory as a cover for hate. On Nov. 12, an unknown person or persons entered the public library on the Reed College campus and scrawled disgusting graffiti in black marker on the wall of a restroom. “The white man is back in power you fucking faggots,” read one such tag.

Since then: Kevin Myers, a spokesman for the Southeast Portland college, says Reed reported the vandalism, which was quickly painted over, to Portland police.

So far, no suspects have been identified. The college, meanwhile, wasn’t the only target. A Dec. 16 report by the Southern Poverty Law Center identified Oregon as the state with the ninth-highest number of “hate incidents” following the election. BETH SLOVIC.

4. “Feminist Bookstore Made Famous on Portlandia Posts ‘Fuck Portlandia’ Sign,” Sept. 27 The story: In Other Wo r d s , t h e N o r t h Killingsworth Street feminist bookstore that became famous nationwide as the filming location of a recurring Portlandia skit featuring humorless feminist bookstore owners, no longer found Portlandia amusing.

After the bookstore discontinued its relationship with the TV show, a volunteer posted a sign declaring: “Fuck Portlandia! Transmisogyny–Racism– Gentrification– Queer Antagonism–Devaluation of Feminist Discourse.”

Since then: The Onion’s A.V. Club described the WW story as “a surreal, ouroboros example of satire eating its own tail, then accusing its tail of microaggression.” It tickled the synapses of the international press, from USA Today to the major U.K. newspapers—especially after the bookstore subsequently published a blog post criticizing Portlandia’s humor and manners, accusing the show of leaving the store “trashed” and asking the store to remove a giant “Black Lives Matter” window soap. Producers were conciliatory. “I have nothing but gratitude for them hosting our show in the amount of time that they did, and I have respect for the future of the store,” Portlandia producer Alice Mathias told The Oregonian on Oct. 17. (In the same piece, the show’s stars, Carrie Brownstein and Fred Armisen, denied responsibility for Portland’s gentrification.) In October, the “Fuck Portlandia” sign was quietly removed from In Other Words’ window. MATTHEW KORFHAGE. 5. “Booties and Banana Hammocks: Photos From the World Naked Bike Ride Portland,” June 26 The story: The rider count for this year’s World Naked Bike Ride was about 8,745, which was actually less than in previous years. Organizer Meghan Sinnott believes this was because the ride started at Southeast 74th Avenue and Harold Street instead of inner Southeast Portland.

But she says enthusiasm soared. “If you host the World Naked Bike Ride at 28th and Belmont, everyone’s like, ‘Ugh, Portland,’” she says. “And if you do it at 72nd and Harold, people are excited to be a part of Portland, and it’s spreading the love a little bit further around.”

Since then: Sinnott expects the 2017 ride to have a stronger meaning for people. “It’s a good opportunity for people to come together who are like-minded, bodypositive and people-positive,” she says. “It will take on a bolder meaning for people.” SOPHIA JUNE. CONT. on page 10 Willamette Week DECEMBER 28, 2016 wweek.com

9

NEWS

Top 12 Stories of 2016 6. “Katherine Dunn, Author of Geek Love, Dies at 70,” May 12 The story: Katherine Dunn, the larger-thanlife Portland author who penned an enormously popular novel about circus freaks when not tending bar or covering prizefights for WW, died of complications from lung cancer May 11.

Since then: Tributes poured in. Susan Orlean, Chuck Palahniuk and Rene Denfeld paid their respects to Dunn in a WW cover profile. On May 13, Portland poet Walt Curtis mailed WW a letter, composed on a typewriter. “My Gawd, I just heard that Katherine Dunn died,” he wrote. “I am saddened, stunned. I always felt that she was indestructible.” AARON MESH. 7. “A Hit Man Came to Kill Susan Kuhnhausen.

She Survived. He Didn’t.” Aug. 16 T h e s t o r y : The headlines ricocheted around the world in 2006. Susan Kuhnh a u s e n , a t h e n - 5 1year-old emergency room nurse at Providence Portland Medical Center, returned to her Montavilla home after work on Sept. 6 and found a strange man cowering in her home. He had a hammer and had been sent to kill her. By her husband. But Kuhnhausen refused to die. And in the struggle to preserve her own life, she did what few people would expect from an overweight, middle-aged woman with two bad knees. She killed her attacker. With her bare hands. On the 10th anniversary of her survival, Kuhnhausen (who now goes by Susan Walters) told her story to WW. S i n ce t h e n : Once again, Walters’ bravery drew accolades—and interest from a Hollywood agent who inquired about the film rights to Walters’ story. Walters says she continues to lead a quiet life in Portland as she plugs away on her memoir. “I am rich in all the things that count,” she says. BETH SLOVIC. 8. “Let’s Debunk Three Myths About Measure 97, Oregon’s Huge Corporate Tax Hike,” Oct. 4 The story: A month before the general election, advertising on both sides of Measure 97, the proposed $3 billion corporate tax increase, was filling the airwaves and mailboxes with claims about what the tax would and would not do. Our analysis looked at key claims on each side.

Since then: The “no” side cranked up a $26 million propaganda machine funded by the large out-of-state corporations that would have paid the tax, exploiting concerns about whether the tax was too big, whether it would be passed on to consumers, and how it would be 10

Willamette Week DECEMBER 28, 2016 wweek.com

spent. Voters ultimately rejected the measure decisively, 59 to 41 percent. Proponents, led by union-funded advocacy group Our Oregon, quickly retooled the tax, addressing some criticisms, and announced earlier this month they will ask state lawmakers to consider a tweaked version next year. John Horvick, whose polling firm, DHM Research, tracked slipping support for Measure 97, says he’s surprised backers of the tax came back so quickly with a similar proposal. “I was dumbstruck,” Horvick says. “It seems like a slap in the face of voters to offer the same thing again.” NIGEL JAQUISS. 9. “This Abandoned Railroad Could Become an Epic Trail From Portland’s ’Burbs to the Sea,” June 7 T h e s t o r y : Our r e p o r t e r h i ke d a n unauthorized, 6-mile Oregon Coast Range trail along the abandoned tracks of the Port of Tillamook Bay Railroad. The tracks, known as the Salmonberry Trail, are part of an ambitious rails-to-trails plan that could turn 86 miles of timber-train line into a destination for backpackers and cyclists.

Since then: Publicity for hiking in Salmonberry Canyon drew alarm from local officials, including Nehalem Bay Fire Chief Perry Sherbaugh. “There’s no cell service,” he told Oregon Public Broadcasting in August, “so people that get in trouble may not be able to call for help.” Fundraising for the $18 million Salmonberry Trail restoration has continued—the project received a $40,000 grant in December to pay for a marketing and capital campaign. AARON MESH.

11. “Portland Anti-Trump Protest Turns to Chaos as Anarchists Smash Cars and Bus Stops,” Nov. 10 The story: Trump’s election sparked six consecutive nights of street protests in Portland. On the third night, march organizers lost control. Masked men seized control of the demonstrations in the Lloyd District, smashed car windshields at the Broadway Toyota dealership, then shattered the windows of banks and boutiques in the Pearl District. Portland police declared the march a riot, making more than 20 arrests. Gregory McKelvey, leader of the anti-Trump protest group Portland’s Resistance, disavowed the destruction.

Since then: Portland’s Resistance raised more than $55,000 on a GoFundMe page to help clean up the damage. Portland police arrested 20-year-old Mateen Abdul Shaheed on six counts of criminal mischief, including smashing Broadway Toyota windshields. (“He knows what he did was wrong, he made some poor choices,” his mother told KATU-TV.) Protest marches continued nightly through Nov. 13, and subsequently there have been sporadic marches. Expect fireworks on Jan. 20: More than 8,000 people have pledged on Facebook to join an Inauguration Day demonstration against Trump at Pioneer Courthouse Square. “Donald Trump and his corporate regime are threatening our lives, our liberty, and the very survival of our planet,” the invite says. “This is where the rubber meets the road.” BENNETT CAMPBELL FERGUSON.

10. “Bernie Sanders Greeted in Portland by a Friendly Bird,” March 25 The story: Democratic Party presidential candidate Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-Vt.) was met at a Moda Center rally by 10,000 Portland supporters—and one house finch, which landed on Sanders’ lectern. The candidate received his visitor beatifically, inspiring worldwide coverage and hundreds of memes. “I think there’s some symbolism here,” Sanders said. “I know it may not look like it, but that bird is really a dove asking us for world peace.”

Since then: This was the high point of the election.

Sanders lost to Hillary Clinton. Clinton lost to Donald Trump. Trump declared his ambition to rekindle the nuclear arms race. Prospects are grim, peace-wise. One silver lining: House finches live 7 to 9 years, so it’s possible the bird is still breathing. AARON MESH.

12. “Hero 110-Year-Old Oregon-Born Woman Loves Whiskey and Naps,” Feb. 19 The story: Spokane TV st a t i o n K AY U interviewed Washington’s o l d e st w o m a n on her birthday.

The 110-year-old Flossie Dickey instantly became an American hero when she told the reporter she tries to nap as many times a day as possible. Her advice for living so long: “I don’t fight it. I live it.”

Since then: Dickey’s story was picked up by dozens of news outlets, including the New York Daily News, Time and People. Even Saturday Night Live performed a skit based on Dickey. She died Nov. 23 at the age of 110 years, 279 days. “I can’t thank all of you sweet people enough for making my Grams so well loved,” greatgranddaughter Sarah Williamson wrote on the Flossie Dickey Facebook fan page. “To me she was one badass that I can only hope to someday be. I know that tomorrow I will be toasting to Flossie with whiskey, eating my pumpkin pie and taking a nap!” Dickey is survived by her three children, 12 grandchildren and 15 greatgrandchildren. There will be a memorial this spring.

SOPHIA JUNE.

ANDREW ZUBKO

NEWS

Bon Voyage, Charlie Hales KENNETH HUEY

THE DEPARTING MAYOR’S GREATEST MOMENTS IN CARTOONS. Portland Mayor Charlie Hales leaves office Jan. 1 after just one term. But four years still provided WW with plenty of fodder for caricature. Here are a few of our favorites. BETH SLOVIC.

“Goofus and Gallant Go to City Hall,” Nov. 5, 2013 After a year in office, questions arose whether Hales was a loafer or a leader, with observers criticizing his handling of homeless camps.

M AT T S C H U

“Charlie Sails Away,” Oct. 27, 2015 Hales surprised many with his decision to walk away from his re-election campaign after Ted Wheeler jumped into the race.

COLIN ANDERSEN

W W S TA F F

“Pay at the Last Window,” April 27, 2016 In his last year in office, Hales stepped up his advocacy for fighting climate change. In 2016, he sought to ban the construction of additional drive-thrus in the central city.

“Return of Chucky,” Jan. 29, 2013 Hales inherited a $21 million budget gap when he took office in January 2013, and he launched immediate efforts to cut spending.

“Mayor Charlie Hales Declares Oct. 15 ‘Hip-Hop Day’ in Portland,” Sept. 30, 2015 Hales attempted to make peace between the Portland Police Bureau and rap artists by declaring “Hip-Hop Day” at City Hall. Our writer dubbed him “DJ Sad Eyez.”

Kick the new year off in style with quality cannabis storage products and accessories.

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Premium Storage for the Connoisseur Willamette Week DECEMBER 28, 2016 wweek.com

11

The Year in Numbers GROWTH 1,293

Refugees who arrived in Oregon in fiscal year 2016.

108

Syrian refugees who arrived in Oregon in fiscal year 2016.

15,306,461

Passengers who got on or off a plane at Portland International Airport through October. The total is 9 percent above last year and on track for a new record.

12

$815

Average rent in dollars for a market-rate, one-bedroom apartment in the East Portland neighborhood of Pleasant Valley.

5,394

4,000

Active Airbnb listings in Portland as of Dec. 1. Some of these listings will never be booked, according to the company.

Minimum cost on Airbnb for renting a tent for one night this past summer in a North Portland vacant lot.

$68.8 billion

735

88

$1,175

$7,215

New residential units the city approved this year for construction, as of November.

The assessed value of all property in Multnomah County. That’s up from $66.1 billion in 2015.

Average rent for a market-rate, one-bedroom apartment in Portland in December 2015.

$1,328 81,051 Out-of-state driver’s licenses surrendered by newcomers through October. That’s by far the highest pace in the past five years.

E M I LY J O A N G R E E N E

2016 WAS FINE…FINE. IT WAS FINE. JUST LOOK AT THE FIGURES THAT DEFINED PORTLAND’S YEAR.

Average rent for a market-rate, one-bedroom apartment in Portland in October 2016.

$1,618

Average rent in dollars for a market-rate, one-bedroom apartment in Northwest Portland.

Willamette Week DECEMBER 28, 2016 wweek.com

Permits the city has issued for short-term rentals. The permits and safety inspections are supposed to be mandatory.

$20

Homeless people who died on Portland streets in 2015.

176

Cost to rent the entire 11th floor of the eastside high-rise Yard for one night as a shortterm rental on a peak weekend night.

Days that Portland Mayor Charlie Hales’ official policy to authorize some homeless tent-camping remained in effect.

34.4486° N, 120.4716° W Approximate latitude and longitude of Mayor Charlie Hales and his sailboat as Portland officials swept the Springwater Corridor of homeless camps in September.

I L L U S T R AT I O N B Y T E R E S A L AW R E N C E

225,103

Gallons of HRD vodka sold in Oregon, the No. 1 liquor by volume purchased in the state.

14

New liquor stores approved in the Portland area.

4

The number of these liquor stores that will be inside Walmarts.

99

BeerAdvocate rating for the online site’s top Oregon-brewed beer, Deschutes Abyss. Boneyard’s Notorious triple IPA also got a 99 rating, but with many fewer reviews.

64,977

Barrels of beer sold in Oregon

by Deschutes Brewery through September—more than any other brewery in the state.

0.17

Barrels of beer sold during that span by Wm. Roesch brewery, a Pendleton brand founded in 1892 and revived by family members in 2010. It was the smallest recorded output of any Oregon brewery.

$75

Price of 12 ounces of Grand Cru Finca El Injerto Gesha, the most expensive bag of coffee sold by Stumptown Roasters.

$1,020

Price of the most expensive bottle of sherry in Portland—1.5 liters of 1975 Bodegas Tradicion Palo Cortado at Pix Pâtisserie. That’s $105 more than Pix’s most expensive 1.5-liter bottle of Champagne, a 2006 Louis Roederer Brut.

$8,987.85

Price of the most expensive bottle of liquor available in Oregon—750 milliliters of Glenfiddich 50-yearold single-malt scotch.

$300

Price of the “Alternative Venue for a Six Pack” special at Hawthorne bar Likewise, in which the bartender sells you a six-pack, closes the bar and grants you an hour in someone else’s house to drink the beer.

$125 Cost of the most expensive bottle of beer at Belmont Station, Anchorage’s A Deal With the Devil, batch No. 1.

R A C H A E L R E N E E L E VA S S E U R

FOOD & DRINK

23 days

Length of time that the controversial restaurant Saffron Colonial was open on North Williams Avenue before changing its name to British Overseas Restaurant Corporation.

Less than 24 hours Length of time that a painting of Adolf Hitler wearing a Trump “Make America Great Again” cap was on display at Southeast Clinton Street’s Night Light Lounge before complaints led to its removal.

$319

The tab for three people at SuperBite, the most expensive check of any restaurant visited for our 2016 Restaurant Guide. The West End modernist tapas spot from the owners of Ox steakhouse was not included in our top 50.

$115

Price of the tomahawk steak for two at Joey Harrington’s Pearl Tavern and for the 42-ounce bone-in rib-eye at Ox, making them the most expensive menu steaks in Portland.

$0

Price of the 72-ounce steak devoured by WW staffer Matthew Korfhage at Sayler’s Old Country Kitchen. He was the 640th person since 1948 to eat the steak in under an hour. It would have cost $65 if he’d failed to finish.

14

Oregonian staffers who reported symptoms of norovirus food poisoning after consuming a “morale-boosting” cake.

Willamette Week DECEMBER 28, 2016 wweek.com

13

THE YEAR IN NUMBERS

JODIE BEECHEM

0

Oregon day care centers that are required to do the same.

$11,118

Average annual cost of day care per child in Oregon.

$8,304

Annual tuition at Portland State University.

54

Days after the lead crisis hit Portland Public Schools before then-Superintendent Carole Smith resigned.

139

Water fixtures in Portland Public Schools buildings that had produced lead levels over the federal standard of 15 parts per billion, as of June 1.

$401,700

Annual salary of PSU President Wim Wiewel, who announced his 2017 retirement in July.

LIVE & LOUD 97,931,401

Times that Portland rapper Aminé’s track “Caroline” was streamed on Spotify.

50 Shades of Ambience

Title of the album Portland streamed on Spotify most disproportionately to the rest of the country.

It’s an album of white noise meant as a sleep aid, featuring such tracks as “Large Industrial Air Conditioner,” “Rainy Parking Lot” and “White Noise Wahwah,” which was also the most disproportionately played track in Portland.

$401,700

Value of Wiewel’s one-year sabbatical after he retires.

80

Percentage of Oregon schools that have voluntarily reported to the state having tested their drinking water for lead.

9

Genders that students enrolling at PSU can select from, as of this year.

788

Copies of David Bowie’s swan song, Blackstar, Blackstar that Music Millennium sold, making it the store’s best-selling album—474 were on CD, the rest on vinyl.

THE GREAT OUTDOORS

1,586,608-plus

152,018

601 People who passed through Oregon while thru-hiking the 2,659-mile Pacific Crest Trail. That’s up from 156 in 2011, the year before Cheryl Strayed’s memoir Wild came out, and down 51 from last year.

120 Average number of days it takes a person injured by a car to obtain an incident report from the Portland Police Bureau. That number more than doubled this year.

People who visited the state’s busiest state park, Yaquina Bay Recreation Site in Newport, in 2015. Parks officials say attendance is up slightly this year, but numbers aren’t final.

July 13

The busiest day for cyclists on the Hawthorne Bridge, with 6,928 people biking across it. In total, cyclists used the bridge 1,178,209 times this year. That’s down from 1,668,232 in 2015, when the car-free Tilikum Crossing opened.

July 14

The busiest biking day on Tilikum Crossing, when 3,800 people rode across it. In total, cyclists used Tilikum 681,462 times, up from 199,151 last year, when it opened in September.

Trips taken on Portland’s new bike-share system, BikeTown, since it launched in July. The service has 41,469 users as of mid-December.

STEVE MORGAN/CC BY 3.0

25 Title of the most-popular album at Multnomah County Library. Adele’s third album was checked out 894 times.

$400

Cost of the most expensive record sold at Jackpot Records, an original copy of There’s a New Dawn, the 1970 album by Oregon psych relic the New Dawn. Only 500 were pressed.

20,000

Total attendees of MusicfestNW presents Project Pabst, making it the largest music festival in Portland.

Pairs of self-lacing Nike Mag boots, which are based on the shoes Marty McFly wore in Back to the Future Part II, that were made in a limited release. A bidder in Hong Kong paid approximately $104,000 for one pair at auction Oct. 11.

89

$500,000

$720 Retail price of Nike’s self-lacing HyperAdapt 1.0 running shoes.

125 Tons of hay purchased by the Oregon Zoo in 2016.

$5,900 Price of a pair of Nike Zoom LeBron IV “Fruity Pebbles,” the most expensive pair of sneakers sold at IndexPDX.

21.54%

65.30% Increase in the value of Adidas stock in 2016, as of Dec. 19.

2,745 Pounds of solid waste generated per capita in the Portland metro area. That’s down 20 percent from the highs a Willamette Week DECEMBER 28, 2016 wweek.com

WEEN at MusicfestNW presents Project Pabst.

5 Car crashes per hour in Portland on Dec. 14 and 15, during 2 inches of snowfall.

Drop in the value of Nike stock in 2016, as of Dec. 19.

14

THOMAS TEAL

SCHOOLING

decade ago. A little more than half gets recycled.

Annual cost of feeding the animals at the Oregon Zoo.

30,525

Pounds of fish purchased by the Oregon Zoo, including 12,000 pounds of shellfish, just for the otters.

15,598 Pounds of cantaloupe and honeydew melons purchased by the Oregon Zoo.

13,500,000

Pounds of strawberries produced in Oregon, down from 15 million in 2015.

PAGE & STAGE

No. 4

Price of the most expensive book on sale at Powell’s City of Books, a 20-volume 1814 printing of the Lewis and Clark journals. It’s not actually stocked in the store, but in “a safe, secure place.”

2,343

Times that Multnomah County Library’s most popular book, Paula Hawkins’ thriller The Girl on the Train, was checked out.

1,682

Times that neurosurgeon Paul Kalanithi’s memoir about having terminal lung cancer, When Breath Becomes Air, was checked out. It was the most popular nonfiction book in the library system.

1,336

Times the library’s most-popular children’s book, Harry Potter and the Cursed Child, was checked out.

It was also the top-selling book at Powell’s, though the company would not release sales figures.

POLITICS 782,403

Oregonians who voted for Donald J. Trump for president.

$168,431

Donations made by Portland residents to Donald J. Trump’s presidential campaign.

42

“Hate incidents” in Oregon reported to the Southern Poverty Law Center in the month following Trump’s election.

That’s the highest rate per capita in the nation.

Times that Portland Center Stage performed Little Shop of Horrors, the most shows of any play in Portland this year.

45,483

Tickets sold for The Book of Mormon at Keller Auditorium, the top-selling play staged in Portland.

$2 million

0

Bills that Kate Brown has vetoed since becoming Oregon governor Feb. 18, 2015.

In that time, lawmakers introduced 2,894 bills, of which 971 passed.

781

Days since the FBI began its investigation of former Gov. John Kitzhaber and first lady Cylvia Hayes. The investigation remains unresolved.

Women in the Oregon House Democratic caucus. This year’s election marked the first time in state history that the party controlling the House had a majority of female members.

GAGE SKIDMORE

19

Eudaly

Amount that media billionaire and former New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg contributed to Oregon political races. He gave $250,000 each to Gov. Kate Brown and Rep. Val Hoyle (D-Eugene).

Cost per vote for Portland Commissioner Steve Novick, who lost a November re-election bid.

Cost per vote for Chloe Eudaly, the upstart housing activist and bookstore owner who beat Novick.

2

Amount that large companies paid directly to Winner & Mandabach, the California political consulting firm hired to defeat Measure 97, a proposed $3 billion tax on corporations doing business in Oregon.

Based on a commission rate of 10 to 15 percent, the firm probably made a couple million more from the No on 97 campaign’s total expenditure of $26.3 million.

$16,134

Counties where a majority of voters favored Measure 97. The measure lost 59 percent to 41 percent.

Cost of the loaded 2015 Dodge Charger that Multnomah County Sheriff Dan Staton insisted on buying in contravention of county policy. WW’s report of the purchase was the last straw for Staton, who resigned in August.

73 cents

$1.34 million

2

$33,623

$5.20

$500,000

Oregonians who voted for Hillary Rodham Clinton for president.

Donations raised so far by anti-Trump activist group Po r t l a n d ’s R e s i st a n c e to help with cleanup of vandalism during the protests.

5

Seconds it took for Dave Chappelle’s four surprise shows in March at the Aladdin Theater to sell out, according to the venue.

Estimated cost of Portland Playhouse’s renovations. The project will be completed in 2017, and involves gutting

1,002,106

$55,883

Days that Post5 Theatre has been without a theater since losing its Sellwood location. The company owed three months of back rent, and could not accept donations for its current season because it lost its nonprofit status last year.

41

6

Consecutive nights protesters marched in Portland after the election.

37

CHRISTINE DONG

$350,000

the main level of the historic church that houses the theater, as well as constructing a new studio space.

Phil Knight’s ranking on the Powell’s Books best-seller list for his memoir, Shoe Dog, about founding Nike and raising iconic local rapper Chilly T. It was beat out by Harry Potter and the Cursed Child, Rupi Kaur’s poetry collection Milk and Honey, and Decemberists frontman Colin Meloy’s The Wildwood Chronicles Book 1, but finished ahead of The Girl on the Train.

Reports that political consultant Mark Wiener submitted to Portland’s auditor to disclose campaign work done on behalf of Novick, as now is required under city rules approved in 2016. One was to report a dinner-party conversation about Novick’s campaign, and the other was to immediately unregister as Novick’s consultant.

Amount that Portland mayoral candidate Jules Bailey still owes for his losing campaign, as of Dec. 21.

$96,000

Cash contributions from special interests to Mayor-elect Ted Wheeler after he won office, to pay for his transition.

CONT. on page 16

Willamette Week DECEMBER 28, 2016 wweek.com

15

Cannabis dispensaries in Multnomah County.

$18, pre-tax

Price of the most expensive gram of cannabis we could find for sale in Portland, at Oregon’s Finest in the Pearl District. The dispensary has four tippy-topshelf organic strains.

10,890 Medical marijuana patients registered in Multnomah County as of Oct. 1. That’s down from 13,004 the previous October, when edibles and concentrates were only available to medical patients.

16,945

Oregon cities and counties that approved pot taxes this November. Every pot-tax proposal passed.

$1,000 The fine faced by Salem teenager Devontre Thomas for allegedly possessing less than 1 gram of cannabis. He also faced a year in prison. The federal prosecution of Thomas, a Native American, was dropped after WW reported the story.

Average home attendance for the Portland Thorns.

That’s more than three times the National Women’s Soccer League average of 5,558 and nearly twice that of the second-place Orlando Pride, which averaged 8,785.

0

Regular-season road games won by the Portland Timbers last season, of 17 played. The Timbers won 12 home games, but road woes destroyed their hopes to defend the MLS Cup.

17

Games the 2015-16 Trail Blazers won above preseason Vegas odds.

$70,764,326

Amount the Blazers’ team salary increased from last season, raising Portland from the lowest salary in the NBA to the second highest.

30

Team defensive efficiency ranking for the Blazers at press time.

There are 30 teams in the NBA.

8

Years that Oregon State University’s football team went between wins in the Civil War. The Beavers beat Oregon 34-24 on Nov. 26, breaking the dry spell.

155

Yards rushing for Oregon State running back Ryan Nall in the Beavers’ beatdown of the Ducks, earning Pac-12 Offensive Player of the Week honors.

16

Willamette Week DECEMBER 28, 2016 wweek.com

7,800

Approximate tickets sold for the Laurelhurst Theater’s most-popular movie of the year, Hunt for the Wilderpeople, a kid-on-the-run indie comedy from New Zealand director Taika Waititi.

14

Weeks that Hunt for the Wilderpeople ran at the Laurelhurst, its longest-running movie of 2016.

Its run ended Dec. 22.

GAMES $11.6 million

Amount the University of Oregon paid Mark Helfrich to no longer coach the Ducks football team.

$9.4 million

Amount won by Eric Tackett, a truck driver from Sutherlin in Douglas County, from a Megabucks ticket he bought at a Coburg truck stop in August. It was Oregon’s biggest lottery payout of 2016.

27,000

Times that Quarterworld’s most popular game, the 2011 shooter Jurassic Park, was played since the Southeast Hawthorne retro arcade opened in April. The most popular game at old-school competitor Ground Kontrol in Old Town was PacMan Battle Royale, though numbers weren’t available.

$418,628

Amount raised by Portland’s largest homegrown Kickstarter campaign of the year, to produce the Decemberists’ board game, Illimat, which was originally developed for a 2009 photo shoot.

4,200

LARGE & SMALL

T H E W E I N S T E I N CO M PA N Y

147

SCREENS

111

MEGAN NANNA

WEED

THE YEAR IN NUMBERS

Visitors to Portland’s second annual strip-club haunted house at Spyce Gentlemen’s Club in Old Town. That was up from about 1,000 visitors in 2015.

60

Sold-out shows of Quentin Tarantino’s The Hateful Eight on 70 mm at the Hollywood Theatre.

That’s $400,000 worth of tickets.

102

Years the Clinton Street Theater, the oldest movie theater in Portland, has been open.

2,021

Consecutive weeks the Clinton Street Theater has been playing The Rocky Horror Picture Show, the longest-running weekly screening of the film in the world.

426

Times The Martian was rented at Movie Madness, its most-rented movie of 2016.

276

Times the fifth season of Game of Thrones was rented at Movie Madness, its most-rented TV show.

3,163 Times The Martian was checked out on DVD from Multnomah County Library, making it the year’s most popular.

wweek.com

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January Songwriter’s Circle with

ROBIN WASHBURN MORGANFIELD RILEY & JACK MCMAHON Monday, January 2nd at 7pm ROBIN WASHBURN is a Portland musician and filmmaker who divides his artistic life between directing music videos and writing, recording, and performing music under the moniker, Seance School.

MORGANFIELD RILEY is a Portland-based musician who has played with local groups like Câlisse, Gold Casio, Adventure Galley, and more.

JACK MCMAHON has been a performing singer-songwriter all of his adult life. Following time spent with his early bands in New Jersey, his work with NYC’s Brill Building, and his albums on Columbia, Jack found himself in Portland, where he has been a mainstay of the local songwriter scene ever since.

Get your free January coupon book, now at Music Millennium!

Filled with big savings on CDs, Vinyl, books, posters, toys.. and so much more! no purchase necessary - available through the end of December

HAPPY NEW YEAR’S FROM MUSIC MILLENNIUM!

Willamette Week DECEMBER 28, 2016 wweek.com

17

STARTERS

CAIT PEARSON

B I T E - S I Z E D P O RT L A N D C U LT U R E N E W S

WE’VE GOT YOUR

HOLIDAY

BOTTO: We hardly knew ye.

OUR MISTAKES & REGRETS FROM 2016

TABLE

CULTURE EDITOR MARTIN CIZMAR: Martin regrets most of his good deeds, which pretty much always failed to go unpunished, whether it was throwing a mushroom-based bone to the vegan community or talking to psycho Bernie Bros even after they’d threatened him. He regrets betting with his heart on the Cleveland Indians, on Hillary Clinton, and on Elizabeth Warren as Clinton’s running mate. He regrets betting with his head in fantasy football, but against a known thief and scoundrel. He also regrets not going to Botto Barbecue even more frequently.

COVERED

WEB EDITOR SOPHIA JUNE: Sophia regrets her quick trigger finger in deleting a Trump supporter’s online comment, partly because the woman then wrote a hate blog dedicated to “The Cocky World of Sophia June,” in which she made comments about outfits Sophia wore to parties four years ago. Sophia also regrets speaking to an area man who sued Portland Public Schools for having Wi-Fi in schools, because she is tired of receiving pamphlets about the dangers of Wi-Fi. Lastly, she regrets clicking on a clickbait ad about Melissa McCarthy in the wweek.com comments, because since then her computer has been acting strangely.

AWARD-WINNING HAMS

HOLIDAY PLATTERS

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AD BUILT AT ACTUAL SIZE

FILM EDITOR WALKER MACMURDO: Walker regrets the snarky tone he took in ranking every model of Air Jordan sneakers in January 2016. Walker recognizes the effort put into designing each shoe, and wishes he took a more constructive tone with his critique. He also takes this opportunity to update the top three Jordan silhouettes to Air Jordans IV, XII and VII, and the worst to IX, whose every iteration is irredeemable garbage.

MUSIC EDITOR MATTHEW SINGER: Matt has been doing this for so long he doesn’t even remember what “shame” feels like, but he does sincerely regret the insensitive phrasing used to describe an artist on our Best New Band list, which caused him to issue his first-ever “Sorry, I’m a dumbass” apology via Twitter. He also regrets betting a friend that the Lakers would finish with a better record than the Blazers last season, though in his defense, it seemed like a good idea at the time.

GIFT BASKETS

525 NE 24th Avenue | Portland, OR | 503.477.8682 tailsandtrotters.com

PROJECTS EDITOR MATTHEW KORFHAGE: Matthew regrets what nonetheless remains his favorite error to slip by our copy desk this year—an unfortunate reference to acclaimed chef Dougie Adams’ forthcoming restaurant, Bullard, as “Bullock.” He also regrets his shortened lifespan and likely irreparable damage to his colon after taking on every food challenge in Portland. But of all the food he didn’t like this year, he regrets only the punches he pulled.

wweek.com

STAGE EDITOR SHANNON GORMLEY: Shannon regrets most of the headlines she wrote. This includes the one about dildos and dead babies, and especially the one about female scientists and boy problems. Female scientists can definitely talk about boy problems. She also regrets not covering several awesome shows, like Confrontation Theatre’s The Every 28 Hours Plays, and pretty much ignoring TBA.

Stree t

BEST OF STREET

Where are you from? “I’m from Pendleton, here for Grand Entry.

I’m an Oneida native.”

OUR FAVORITE STREET FASHION OF 2016.

PHOTOS BY JOE RIEDL, BRIDGET BAKER, CHRISTINE DONG, & RACHAEL RENEE LEVASSEUR

Where are you from? “We’re both from here.” Tell us about your style.

“Everything we wear is natural and organic!”

www.wweek.com/street

What’s the weirdest thing you’ve seen in Portland? “Well, I’ve only been here for 10 hours, and I’ve seen some really cool mushrooms.”

Estate Jewelry

May your next year be filled comfort, joy and arch support

sandals• clogs•shoes•boots•socks

1433 NE Broadway • 503.493.0070 Hours: Mon-Sat 10-6; Sun 11-5 Facebook.com/footwiseportland

7642 SW Capitol Hwy AntoinetteJewelry.com 503-348-0411 Willamette Week DECEMBER 28, 2016 wweek.com

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FOOD & DRINK DRANK

Analemma Blanc de Noir

Available at E&R Wine Shop ($60) Big-time wine writers like Jon Bonné have raved about this Oregon wine, made by Analemma from its dry-farmed Atavus vineyard in the Columbia Gorge. For the same money, you could buy a killer bottle of Champagne. But if drinking local is your raison d’être, this is probably the best Champagne-style sparkling wine being made in the Pacific Northwest. It tastes like green strawberries and clean seltzer.

Bereche Vallée de la Marne Rive Gauche

Available at Vinopolis ($69) This pinot meunier Champagne is from the revered winemaking duo of Raphaël and Vincent Bérêche in the village of Port à Binson. If I could pour you only one grower Champagne—that is, Champagne made by the grape growers, not by large blending houses—it might be this bottle, so singular is its expression of terroir and intent. Think beautiful apple skin, peach cream and wet stone.

Argyle Vintage Brut PNCA gift set

Available at argylewinery.com ($100) A bottle-art collaboration with the Pacific Northwest College of Art has turned out some of the coolest labels I’ve seen in Oregon this year. Argyle has been doing its thing in Dundee since 1987, and consistently produces some of the state’s most delicious, accessible sparkling wines. Lean minerality and a flavorful Chinese five spice/black licorice note are this wine’s calling card. Buying this gift set helps support Argyle’s ongoing scholarship with PNCA.

SPLASH OUT, YOU HAD A GOOD YEAR

Pop ’Em 17 BUBBLES FOR 2017.

BY JO RDA N M I C H E L M A N

@sprudge

Friends, Portlanders, lend me your ears: I beseech you that when the very moment of this year’s final denouement ticks down from 10, you will have in your hand something more delicious than a mere pisser of Cook’s. You can do better than the Safeway-shelf Veuve Clicquot Yellow Label. And, please, leave the Trader Joe’s Sparkling Chuck for a less momentous occasion.

Instead, here are 17 bottles of bubbles you might consider for your New Year’s Eve toast, each ready for purchase at a bottle shop near you, arranged from agreeably priced to splurgingly celebratory. The year 2016 has sucked quite enough, thank you— let’s not spoil its last, dying breath by drinking shitty wine.

2011 Benoit Marguet Le Parc almost copper in color, running deep with flavors of white chocolate, strawberry cream soda, and apple skins. This is an expression of Oregon pinot noir unlike any other.

GOOD CHAMPAGNE FOR UNDER $40 Eric Rodez Cuvée des Crayeres (375 ml)

Available at Liner & Elsen ($30) There is no shame in drinking alone with a wine as good as this. Eric Rodez (pronounced rohDAY) makes beautiful Champagne in the village of Ambonnay, where he is mayor. Rodez is a ninth-generation winemaker, and was gracious enough to make a small bottle of his Cuvée des Crayeres—a classically creamy, elegant, finesse wine that could only come from Champagne.

Aubry Brut Premier

Available at Vinopolis ($36) A silky, mineral-driven bottle of bubbles, it’s produced by a family that has been making wine since the 17th century. Aubry wines are known for using ancient Champagne grape varieties like arbanne, petit meslier and fromenteau alongside the traditional pinot noir, chardonnay and pinot meunier. This is a pure expression of Champagne.

Jose Michel & Fils Brut Pinot Meunier

UNDER-$20 JAMMERS Elio Perrone Moscato d’Asti

Available at World Foods ($13) This is light, pure, delicious and fruity sparkling wine from a family of racecar drivers in Asti, in northwest Italy. It’s not some sugar-sweet, uber-processed prosecco; the Perrone family’s Moscato is pleasing, elegant even, without being fussy or expensive. This is real wine for the cost of a pack of Manhattan Marlboros.

Celler La Salada Pet Nat Tinc Set

Available at E&R Wine Shop ($17.99) Bottle-fermented Spanish sparkling wine from Toni Carbo, this is catnip for natural-wine geeks, poured happily at many a cool cave from Brooklyn to Barcelona. With no added sulfur, it’s real living wine from the Spanish grapes xarello and parellada. It tastes like green apples and peaches, and is classy enough for midnight, party enough for the pre-funk.

Gruet Sauvage

Available at Pastaworks ($19) This is lovely, bone-dry sparkling chardonnay from New Mexico, of all places. With its Frenchsounding name and Champagne-mimic profile, Gruet is a smart house pour on many a discerning wine list. If you’re a geek, you might try blind-tasting it with much more expensive blanc de blancs Champagne. If you’re a normie, just buy it and drink it—this is a perfectly poised, smartly affordable New Year’s Eve clink.

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Willamette Week DECEMBER 28, 2016 wweek.com

LOCAL FARMHOUSE BUBBLES Gamine Pet Nat of Grenache

Available at Division Wines ($30) I’m a big fan of the wines coming out now from Gamine, the new project from Division Winemaking and Southeast Wine Collective co-founder Kate Norris. In 2015, her Grenache Pet Nat was a revelation of Technicolor golden bubbles, slightly off-dry and punchy—real lightswitch wine for people unfamiliar with Oregon bottled bubblers. In 2016, her Gamine Pet Nat is a bit more grown-up and sophisticated—it’s still party wine, but it’s a classy party. Think imported sparkling lemonade and raisin bread.

Swick Verdelho Pet Nat

Available at Park Avenue Fine Wines ($23) This is a dynamite new wine from Joe Swick of Swick Wines, whose no-sulfur pinot noir has been featured on good natural-wine lists across the country. This bottle-fermented sparkling wine is made from verdelho, a Portuguese white grape that’s being grown in Washington state.

It’s a deeply acidic, almost salty white wine that wants to be paired with food—karaage fried chicken or Japanese pickles—but wouldn’t be out of place at midnight.

Johan Pinot Noir Pet Nat

Available at World Market ($22) Dan Rinke helped spark the pet-nat revolution in Oregon with this utterly distinctive, bottlefermented sparkling wine. Not quite a rosé, it’s

Available at Vinopolis ($39) Pinot meunier is typically the little sibling grape in Champagne’s holy troika, but it has pride of place in this bottling from Jose Michel, a small winemaking house working 11 hectares in the village of Moussy. I absolutely love pinot meunier-driven Champagne for how expressive, fruitforward and memorable it can be, and Jose Michel makes some of the best.

Savart L’Ouverture

Available at Vinopolis ($37) Frederic Savart is a one-man band, farming just 4 hectares of pinot noir and chardonnay vines in clay soil in the village of Ecueil. Savart uses no herbicides or pesticides, and in the glass the wine is a study of contradictions—zippy acidity leading to a creamy mousse. He makes only a few thousand cases a year, and it probably should cost twice as much.

A LITTLE MORE… Tarlant Zero

Available at E&R Wine Shop ($56) This is one of my favorite wines on this list.

The Tarlant family has been making wine in Champagne since the 17th century, and was one of the first estates to refuse to sell grapes to large blending houses. This bottling comes with zero added sugars (hence the name), and is so pleasingly dry and delicious, with notes of mandarin orange, lilac and wax. If you’re negatively impacted by wines with a high sugar content, Tarlant Zero will be most agreeable.

Available at E&R Wine Shop ($111) This is as close to “natural wine” as you’ll find in Champagne. Benoit Marguet has transformed his family’s domaine in the past decade from conventional mechanized farming to biodynamic horse-plowed vineyards, and today is making some of the most thoughtful, delicious wines in all of Champagne. Le Parc is a single-vineyard blanc de blancs from land near the village of Ambonnay, which is known for its pinot noir.

The 2011 vintage was notoriously tough for many Champagne makers, but Marguet achieved a triumph. In the glass, the wine has focus, presence and speaks to the chalky minerality of the soil in this part of France, made entirely with native yeasts, a rarity in Champagne. A casual drinker will enjoy this wine, but if you’re even a little bit into this stuff, Marguet’s story is irresistible, and buying his wines means supporting one of the true shining lights of artisanal winemaking in Champagne.

Jacques Selosse Initial Blanc de Blancs

Available at Ambonnay Cellar ($225) Anselme Selosse is a living legend, credited with sparking today’s new wave of grower Champagne makers. He has farmed without chemicals since 1980, making site-specific Champagne with minimal use of sulfur dioxide or added sugars to stabilize his wines. Initial is his entry-level blanc de blancs Champagne (made from chardonnay), priced at more than $200 a bottle (you’ll pay three times that at a restaurant). I’ve tried this wine exactly once, on a special occasion, and it was an exercise in duality. As hyped as these wines are, the drinking experience is actually subtle, mature and understated. I remember not being blown away in the moment, but as I sit here, years later, I can remember exactly how the wine tasted— crystalline, effortlessly lively, with long-lasting flavors of Meyer lemon and French bread.

2004 Salon Le Mesnil Blanc de Blancs (1.5 liters)

Available at Vinopolis ($989) Surely you will need help drinking all of this rare, beautiful Champagne. Call me.

THOMAS TEAL

REVIEW

Not on Division since 2004 SE 21st and Clinton nightlightlounge.net @nightlightpdx

Fillmore Trattoria

GLORY DAYS: Revelry during its extraordinary early weeks.

Italian Home Cooking Tuesday–Saturday 5:30PM–10PM closed Sunday & Monday

Year of the Boomerang REVISITING PORTLAND RESTAURANTS THAT LEFT US WONDERING IN 2016.

BY MATTHEW KORFHAGE

and

MARTIN CIZMAR

We don’t stop thinking about a restaurant review after it goes to press. And so for the third time, we devote our end-of-year food section to revisiting the spots that left us wondering— places that got mixed or even bad reviews that we thought had a chance of getting much better.

Tusk

2448 E Burnside St., 503-894-8082, tuskpdx.com. 5 pm-midnight Monday-Saturday, 5-10 pm Sunday, 10 am-2 pm Saturday-Sunday.

Reviewed: Oct. 12 The pitch: Ava Gene’s chef Joshua McFadden’s much-hyped Mediterranean spot tapped chefs Sam Smith and Wesley Johnson, who’d cooked with Michael Solomonov at his modern Israeli hot spot Zahav in Philadelphia. Solomonov is famous for his exuberantly flavored veggies, and that’s the bulk of the opening menu at this uberstylish spot on East Burnside.

The problem: Tusk has been wildly popular since opening in August, but not with globetrotting WW contributor Michael C. Zusman, who compared it unfavorably to Zahav. “If Zahav is a boisterous playground of vegetarian tastes and textures, Tusk has gone straight back to study hall. Where Zahav is worthy of unstinting praise for offering an innovative take on an ancient cuisine, Tusk is superficial modernity, food built to look pretty on Instagram.

Now: Tusk is still wildly popular, still running two-hour-plus waits on Tuesday nights. We got a walk-in table only by braving a blizzard. Tusk still has plenty of flaws, but it also has a few standouts.

The best bit of all was a salad called pomelo, made with cara cara oranges spiked with fish sauce, jalapeño and coriander—a mostly veggie ceviche.

With a drizzle of the house chili oil, the seasonal hummus with cumin and super-savory heirloom beans called Dutch Bullet was wonderful. The menu now has a small selection of meaty mains, including a very nice braised pork shoulder with apples and hazelnuts.

Revelry

210 SE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., 971-339-3693, revelrypdx.com.

5 pm-midnight Sunday-Thursday, 5 pm-2 am Friday-Saturday.

Reviewed: Sept. 28 The pitch: Seattle’s James Beard-nominated team of Rachel Yang and Seif Chirchi becomes the first high-profile restaurateurs to put a spinoff in Portland. This hip Korean-fusion spot shares walls with an outdoor store and has sparse concretewall decor and a stack of boom boxes.

The problem: A very early visit, with Yang still in the kitchen, included rice cakes and peanut brittle-accented Korean fried chicken that were a late-night school in texture and chili-spiced complexity—crisp, light, hearty and ethereal in turn—but both lost some of their deftness in other visits, relying more on oil and sweetness.

Now: The chicken is heavier, oilier and syrupier than on any previous visit; the transcendent and unlikely balance we first found has dulled to heavy comfort food. The sliced, fried Korean rice cakes also were snapless, and that delightful P.F. Chang’s sizzling-beef texture on the meat has been dropped, leaving beef lumps. Probably the best dish this time around was a dan dan noodle bowl enlivened by pickled veg. It’s now a pleasant bar with snacks, but we’d have a hard time waiting in the rain-slicked, huddled line of people we found on an early Monday.

I

Double Mountain

4336 SE Woodstock Blvd., 503-206-5495, doublemountainbrewery. com. 11 am-10 pm Sunday-Thursday, 11 am-11 pm Friday-Saturday.

Reviewed: Aug. 24 The pitch: A Hood River brewery famed for its New Haven-style pizzas opens a pub in the underserved Woodstock neighborhood.

The problem: We went early—probably earlier than we should have—and found that the pies coming out of a new type of oven weren’t up to Double Mountain’s own standards. On one visit, we found the crust overcharred, infused with an acrid, blackened flavor, and topped with overly dry cheese applied inconsistently between pies.

That visit also found salads sopped in way too much dressing and a cookie served at refrigerator temperature for dessert.

1937 NW 23RD Place Portland, OR 97210

(971) 386-5935

Simple ApproAch

Bold FlAvor vegan Friendly

open 11-10

everyday

I

500 NW 21st Ave, (503) 208-2173 kungpowpdx.com

Sha

www.sha

Shandong www.shandongportland.com

CONT. on page 22

Willamette Week DECEMBER 28, 2016 wweek.com

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R A C H A E L R E N E E L E VA S S E U R

FOOD & DRINK

NICER RICE: Chesa’s paella was dialed in on our most recent visit.

CONT. from page 21

Now: Double Mountain fixed everything. Our lunch pies in mid-November were as good as in Hood River, with a snappy crust and the right proportions of sauce, cheese and toppings. They now heat the cookies.

Chesa

2218 NE Broadway St., 503-477-9521, chesapdx.com. 5-10 pm Tuesday-Saturday.

Reviewed: May 11 The pitch: A paella-focused spot with a hightemp flash-smoker Josper grill from José Chesa, the Spanish chef with Michelin-kitchen background who makes transcendent bites and bravas at the westside’s Ataula.

The problem: Alongside stellar ribs and a delicious cocktail menu with sterling vermouth preparando and scratch quinine-sulfate tonic from barkeep Tony Gurdian, the paellas were inconsistent: “We’ve had four different paella pans in three visits, and received four different results. On that wonderfully spiced Chesa, the paella pan came charred on one side—with bellota ham abused into dryness—and shiny-clean on the other. But nowhere in the middle did it attain that beautiful quality of just-so pan-cooked rice called socarrat—the deeply satisfying caramelized, crackly crispness at the pan’s edge also familiar from Korean bibimbap.”

Now: Chesa is like a restaurant in photo negative. The paella on our most recent visit—we went for the cheapest meat option, a $20 Mar i Montaña with shrimp and oxtail—attained exquisite caramelization on the top, bottom and sides with no burn except above the rice, with a beautiful balance of salt and fat amid the warm flavors of sofrito. It was perfect. But that $11 gin and tonic, since the departure of Gurdian (now at Interurban), should no longer cost $11: It offered upfront acidity without the previous tonic’s brightness and depth. The vermouth menu has also suffered, as has the seasonal preparando.

ChkChk

1305 NW 23rd Ave., 971-302-6368, chkchk.com. 11 am-9 pm daily.

Reviewed: April 20 The pitch: ChkChk aims to “reclaim the chicken sandwich from a fast-food industry riddled with questionable sourcing and dominated by national chains who champion regressive social agendas.”

The problem: “When it comes to fried-chicken sandwiches, ChkChk can’t match Chick-fil-A… Their breasts aren’t so big and juicy, the breading is too thick in some places and too thin in others.

The shell lacks the buttery warmth.”

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Willamette Week DECEMBER 28, 2016 wweek.com

Now: ChkChk is still very committed to intersectional justice—a December visit found a poster with the names of black victims of killer cops on the wall. Unfortunately, the sandwiches have gone downhill. The breasts are now thinner at dinner.

Taqueria Nueve

727 SE Washington St., 503-954-1987, taquerianueve.com.

5-10 pm Tuesday-Saturday, 5-9 pm Sunday.

Reviewed: Aug. 17 The pitch: T9 came back from the dead in 2014, and it’s been one of our favorite spots since—until an ill-fated visit as part of an epic bougie taco crawl.

The problem: “This is a place whose tacos we have loved in the past, one of those spots whose meat-filled, handmade corn-tortilla tacos can make an ‘upgrade’ on street food seem like a great idea rather than a condescending fiction…

But on this visit, that $3 wild boar carnitas taco was less flat-top seared into crispness than dried into jerky, the ‘vegetal’ veggie taco was an undersalted scattering of greens, and the fatty brisket was both overdone and underseasoned.”

Now: Everyone has off days, apparently. Our December visit found T9 back in top form, with bright salsas and soul-warming corn tortillas topped with achingly tender carnitas. We found the batch of margaritas inconsistent in August, but the glass this time was the finest amalgamation of lime and tequila we’ve had in recent memory.

Pollo Bravo

126 SW 2nd Ave. (Pine Street Market), 1128 SW Alder St., 503-987-1500, pollobravopdx.com. Pine Street: 9 am-10 pm Sunday-Thursday, 9 am-11 pm Friday-Saturday. Alder: 11 am-10 pm Sunday-Thursday, 11 am-11 pm Friday-Saturday.

Reviewed: June 1 The pitch: A Spanish-inflected spit-roasted chicken spot from John Gorham, the guy behind Toro Bravo.

The problem: The menu was unwieldy, cocktails were weird, and the chicken had serious troubles, with skin “oversalted to the point that it tasted like grocery-store ham.”

Now: The chicken is hearty and tender and juicy—with the option of dipping in still more jus—while a radicchio side salad was solid and cocktails were refreshing and much improved.

But Gorham announced Dec. 23 he’ll be selling Pollo Bravo to its chef, Josh Scofield, and shuffling his Israeli-focused Shalom Y’all into Pollo’s Southwest Alder Street space. The Pine Street location of Shalom will become BYH (“Bless Your Heart”) burgers, an “upperechelon” take on Five Guys.

v

How come?

Westside

Because Fuck 2016!

Bars

The Steep and Thorny Way to Heaven, Southeast 2nd Avenue and Hawthorne Boulevard, thesteepandthornywaytoheaven.com.

9:30 pm-3 am. $18-$25.

A time-travel-themed night carnival at a warehouse space underneath the bridge, promising “the city’s finest fringe artists.”

An Infinite New Year’s

The Secret Society, 116 NE Russell St. 9 pm. $25-$30. 21+.

of Amy Winehouse in 2011 still stings. Tonight, the Way Downs team with a slew of vocalists in tribute.

Heroinfunky

Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave. 9 pm. $22.50-$25. 21+.

YES

O

N

Nyx, 215 W Burnside St. 9 pm. $50-$150.

21+.

Pharcyde Old Town Greek restaurant Alexis is being reborn as Nyx, a twostory club soft-opening with classic L.A. rap crew the Pharcyde.

MDMA, Motherfucker

Alberta Rose Theatre, 3000 NE Alberta St. 9 pm. $40-$60. Minors allowed with guardian.

Sixpence None the Richer and the soul patch of Everclear offer unplugged “songs and stories.” Will Art tell the one about stealing Pete Krebs’ girlfriend?

Aughts

Art Alexakis and Leigh Nash The voice of

90’s

Killingsworth Dynasty, 832 N Killingsworth St. 9 pm. $8-$10.

An inclusive dance party for lesbian women, trans women, genderqueer people and “everyone fun.”

Queerly Beloved

Bhangra

Soul

What’s your jam?

Club Privata, 824 SW 1st Ave. 8 pm-4 am, $50-150.

Bring anything but a Utilikilt to the “upscale” sex club tonight—Utilikilts are prohibited.

Glitz & Glam Party

Netflix and chill

Ok, fine.

What would you do if you were at home?

NO

What about a nice, clean night of nonthreatening comedy?

They make me party and I don’t want to.

Lez Do It

Weedfunky

Willamette Week’s reigning Best New Band parties with satiny synths like it’s 1989, while Natasha Kmeto’s electro-soul teases a future yet to arrive.

Chanti Darling & Natasha Kmeto

Valiumfunky

The Spare Room, 4830 NE 42nd Ave. 9 pm. $15-$20. 21+.

Honky-tonk stalwart Caleb Klauder typically prefers dust over diamonds, but tonight’s attendees are encouraged to don their blingiest Western wear.

Rhinestone Cowboy Bash

70’s

Funhouse Lounge, 2432 SE 11th Ave.beardlandia.com. 9 pm-2 am. $20, $10 if wearing plaid or union suit.

BYO beard, fellas.

Lumbertwink

Sausage Party

Dancin.’

DJs saved my life

Ground Kontrol, 11 NW Couch St. 5 pm-close. $15.

You sound super white! Which decade?

Apparently so!

How funky do you feel?

Wait, there are people who watch live music but don’t dance?

Video games

machines are at your disposal, and coins are a distant memory.

Eat!

Exotic food?

Interesting food?

Ground Kontrol Free Play All the

Watchin’.

I like to bop my head awkwardly.

Like, dancin’ to it? Or watchin’ it?

Biwa, 15 SE 9th Ave. $65.

Russian

German

Japanese

Biwa Japanese buffet!

Wagyu ribs! Oysters! Soba for good luck!

Tribute to Amy Winehouse The loss

Doesn’t matter.

I’m traveling back in time to change it

Jimmy Mak’s, 221 NW 10th Ave. 7:30 and 10 pm. $15-$25. Early show all ages.

Jazz hub Jimmy Mak’s goes out not with a 20-minute standup bass solo but with funked-up soul covers.

End of Jimmy Mak’s

Rock stars

Trump

We agree heartily! Which is worse: Trump, dead bars or the dead rock stars?

Conquistador Lounge, 2045 SE Belmont St. 9 pm-2 am. Free.

tequila and dance to music from some of the legends who were lost this year.

Conquistador Fuck 2016 Cry into your

Crush Bar, 1400 SE Morrison St. 9 pm-2 am. Free entry. 21+.

As a Trump presidency looms, so does the fear for LGBTQ rights. Build up resistance with alcohol!

Crush Fuck 2016

Barfly Bus Tours, barflybus.com. $30. 23+ (not a typo).

Barfly Bus Bar-hop around Portland while getting really drunk on a bus! After, there’s a party with free donuts.

Splash Bar, 904 NW Couch St. $30.

Kachka, 720 SE Grand Ave..

per Premium Zakuski experience is snacks and lots of vodkas and chef Bonnie Morales’ dad dressed up as Father Frost.

Kachka The Russian Su-

Stammtisch, 401 NE 28th Ave.

The Germans like to get fat as hell, apparently, with $40 three-course meal of pork and kraut, pumpkin tart and foie gras.

Stammtisch

Just Chocolate, please

Pix Pâtisserie, 2225 E Burnside St. 11 pm-2 am.

Buy a drink and get access to Pix’s chocolate buffet full of mousse, cake, meringue, ice cream, truffles and beer.

Pix Chocolate Buffet Resolutions are overrated.

WOULD YOU PRETTY MUCH RATHER BE AT HOME?

Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison St. 8 pm. $17-$20. 21+.

Other than Aminé, no Portland rapper made as much noise outside the city this year as the Last Artful Dodgr. This show might be the last tremor before the big one.

Wonder Ballroom, 128 NE Russell St. 9 pm. $29.50-$35. 21+.

maker support, this jam-adjacent roots crew has become one of Portland’s biggest live draws.

Fruition Without taste-

The Melody Ballroom, 615 SE Alder St., eventbrite.com. 9 pm. $20-$35. 21+.

nual globetrotting mashup is Portland’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve, swapping Bon Jovi for red-hot live cumbia.

DJ Anjali & the Incredible Kid with Orquestra Pacifico Tropical DJ Anjali’s an-

Eagles Lodge, 4904 SE Hawthorne Blvd.

8 pm. $15, $10 with two food cans. 21+.

Ural Thomas drummer Cooky Parker and other DJs spin rare ’60s soul early and boogie funk late.

Soul Night and Disco Party

Clinton Street Theater, 2522 SE Clinton St. 9 pm. $10.

Bring your favorite costumes and props; it’s sure to be a big one.

The Rocky Horror Picture Show

Helium Comedy Club, 1510 SE 9th Ave. 8 and 10:30 pm. $39-$59.

Ryan Hamilton Hang at Helium for some clean comedy with the Idaho Mormon version of Howdy Doody, except funny.

Beaverton Library, 12374 SW 5th St., 503526-3705, beavertonlibraryfoundation. com, 9 pm-12:30 am. $25-$30.

Usually libraries are just for quiet, respectful porn addicts.

Not tonight! The Beaverton Library has mini-golf, laser tag, a photo booth, drinks and a dance party.

Loud at the Library

YES

Well, is a party at a library OK?

Last Artful Dodgr and Dylan Stark

x

you’re in Miami with Red Bull, AMF and watermelon Smirnoff.

Splash Bar Pretend

Wildin’

Old Town and Pearl again, or you wildin’?

As a prelude to questionable sex I plan to have.

YES

Just keepin’ it festive. I’m all about the music.

Lit, like fucked-up and turnt?

Nah. Tryna get lit.

bY ww sTAff

A New Year’s Decision Tree to kiss off an awful, no good, very bad year.

fli

t Ne

@WillametteWeek

@WillametteWeek

@wweek

R E V NE S MIS A BEAT

#wweek Willamette Week DECEMBER 28, 2016 wweek.com

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Willamette Week DECEMBER 28, 2016 wweek.com

MUSIC COURTESY OF NBC UNIVERSAL MEDIA

FEATURE

The Year In Portland Music, Ranked THE SOUNDS, SIGHTS, DISCOVERIES AND DISAPPOINTMENTS OF 2016, IN 26 LISTS.

BY M AT T HE W P. SIN G E R , MAC SMI FF, CASEY MARTI N, PARKER H AL L , C HR I S STA M M, MA R K A . STOCK, BLAKE HI CKMAN, CRI S LANK E NAU, M AYA M CO M IE , ISA B E L ZACHARI AS, CERVANTE POPE, NATHAN C ARS ON

1. Aminé plays The Tonight Show.

2. The Explode Into Colors reunion.

3. Bim Ditson runs for mayor.

4. Friends of Noise launches with the intent of founding a nonprofit all-ages music venue.

5. The Thermals open for Bernie Sanders. (MPS)

FIVE WORST THINGS THAT HAPPENED IN PORTLAND MUSIC THIS YEAR

1. RIP Andrew Loomis.

2. RIP the Know.

3. RIP Jimmy Mak’s.

4. RIP Radiation City, Gossip and Agalloch.

5. That whole Joel Magid thing. (MPS)

FIVE BEST PORTLAND JAZZ ALBUMS OF THE YEAR

1. Coco Columbia, When the Birds Begin to Walk 2. Ian Christensen, Finding 3. Korgy & Bass, EP Vol. 1 4. Ryan Meagher, Mist. Moss. Home.

5. Trio Subtonic, Fiction (PH)

FIVE BEST PORTLAND PUNK DEMOS OF THE YEAR 1. Macho Boys 2. Sweats 3. PMS 84 4. U-NIX 5. In Flux (CS)

FIVE BEST PORTLAND ALBUM COVERS OF 2016

1. Radiation City, Synesthetica 2. Animal Eyes, Where We Go 3. Aan, Dada Distractions 4. Summer Cannibals, Full of It 5. WL, Light Years (MAS)

FIVE SADDEST PORTLAND SONGS OF THE YEAR

1. Lavender Flu, “Know Fear” 2. Little Star, “For Goth Easter” 3. Mean Jeans, “Are There Beers In Heaven?”

4. Eluvium, “Posturing Through Metaphysical Collapse” 5. Sam Coomes, “Fordana” (CS)

FIVE BEST PORTLAND RAP SINGLES Portland metal-vest display at Macy’s in New York.

FIVE MOST WTF PORTLAND MUSIC STORIES OF THE YEAR

1. YACHT’s fake sex-tape stunt.

2. Local metalhead’s stolen vest shows up in a display at Macy’s in New York.

3. World-famous Bono impersonator tricks Portland into thinking he’s the real guy.

4. iLoveMakonnen lives here now for some reason.

5. Isaac Brock causes a multipleSubaru fender-bender on the Morrison Bridge. (MPS)

FIVE BEST PORTLAND RAP PROJECTS OF THE YEAR

1. Mic Capes, Concrete Dreams 2. Donte Thomas, Grayscale 3. ROBy, Cartoon Summers 4. Myke Bogan, The Last Artful, Dodgr and Neill Von Tally, Rare Treat 5. A-RU$$, You Know Who You Are (MS)

FIVE BEST PORTLAND METAL ALBUMS OF THE YEAR

1. Eight Bells, Landless 2. Red Fang, Only Ghosts 3. The Body, No One Deserves Happiness 4. R.I.P., In the Wind 5. Saola, Black Canvas (CM)

1. The Last Artful, Dodgr, “Squadron” 2. Maze Koroma ft. Blossom, “Curfew” 3. Aminé, “Caroline” 4. Blossom, “Black Magic Woman” 5. Mic Capes ft. Vinnie Dewayne, “Jumper Cables” (MS)

FIVE BEST SONGS I HEARD LISTENING TO 99.5 THE WOLF ON MY WORK COMMUTE

1. “You Look Like I Need a Drink,” Justin Moore 2. “Drink On It,” Blake Shelton 3. “Drink in My Hand,” Eric Church 4. “Pretty Good at Drinkin’ Beer,” Billy Currington 5. “Drinking Class,” Lee Brice (BH)

FIVE PORTLAND SONGS TO HELP YOU COPE WITH THE TRUMP ADMINISTRATION

1. Kyle Craft, “Before the Wall” 2. Sinless, “Strange Reality” 3. Y La Bamba, “Libre” 4. Mic Capes, “Razor Tongue” 5. Chuck Westmoreland, “There’s a Pattern in the Blood” (MAS)

FIVE MOST UNDERRATED PORTLAND RAPPERS OF THE YEAR

FIVE BEST FINDS IN THE USED VINYL SECTION OF EVERYDAY MUSIC THIS YEAR

1. Arthur Russell, World of Echo, still in shrink-wrap.

2. Beulah, The Coast Is Never Clear 3. TV on the Radio, Dear Science, priced at $25 but paid $5 when the cashier failed to recognize the faint imprint of a “2” on the price tag.

4. Damien Jurado, I Break Chairs 5. Destroyer, City of Daughters (CL)

FIVE FAVORITE RANDOM CONCERT MOMENTS OF THE YEAR

1. Ice Cube assuring the crowd at MusicfestNW presents Project Pabst that he’s still a hard-ass, then performing “Check Yo Self” against a video of him murking people in movies.

2. Half the crowd onstage at the end of the Insane Clown Posse show at Hawthorne Theatre, drenched in Faygo and sweat, and chanting, “Family!”

3. Tim Frazier running onstage at the Crystal to do the Tim Frazier Chronicles dance during Damian Lillard’s concert debut.

4. Bruce Springsteen’s mumbled Sleater-Kinney shout-out at Moda Center.

5. Carly Rae Jepsen putting on a cape for one song at Wonder Ballroom. (MPS)

FIVE BEST MOMENTS AT MUSICFESTNW PRESENTS PROJECT PABST 1. A crowd of 30-ish people gathers on the bridge behind the stage during the Ice Cube show.

2. A friendship is formed when a singer joins a guitarist at Pabst Wax to record a cover song.

3. Just about everyone at Tame Impala passes around a joint to their neighbors.

4. Andrew W.K. rips up the stage and spits up a huge loogie into his hair.

5. Ween fans chat excitedly how they came out specifically to see the band, and mouth every word to the songs. (MM)

FIVE BEST HOUSE SHOWS I SAW THIS YEAR

1. The Shivas, Kozyol and Reptaliens’ first show at the Dacha 2. Love Cop, Panaderia, Toxic Slime and Funeral Gold at Pool’s Closed 3. Cool Ghouls, Psychomagic, the Goobs and Dim Wit at Pal’s Clubhouse 4. Homies, Dim Wit, the Shivas at Crush House 5. Birthday Block Party with Drowse, Sabonis, Mo Troper and the Assumptions, Rod, Chugger, Naked Hour, Rap Class and Amanda Eve at Southeast 22nd and Hawthorne (CP)

FIVE SHOWS THAT WOULD’VE BEEN BETTER AS HOUSE SHOWS

1. Ringo Deathstarr at Star Theater 2. Charles Bradley at the Crystal Ballroom 3. Sonny and the Sunsets at Mississippi Studios 4. Two Moons, Dowager, Quone and Lubec at Anarres 5. 20xx, Sculpture Club, Acracy, Drunken Palms at Anarres (CP)

FIVE BEST RECURRING SHOWS OF THE YEAR

1. Michael Hurley and the Croakers, third Fridays at Laurelthirst 2. Mel Brown B3 Organ Group, Thursdays at Jimmy Mak’s 3. Kung Pao Chickens, Mondays at Laurelthirst 4. Atlantis Underground: Songwriter Sessions, Tuesdays at Mississippi Pizza Pub 5. Red Yarn, Thursdays at Mississippi Pizza Pub (IZ)

FIVE REASONS I LEFT THE FATHER JOHN MISTY CONCERT AT EDGEFIELD EARLY 1. I ran out of beer money.

2. It started raining.

3. I couldn’t get backstage to meet Stephen Malkmus.

4. My daughter was getting sleepy.

5. Father John Misty. (CS)

FIVE BEST SYMPHONIES I SAW AT THE SCHNITZ THIS YEAR

1. Turangalîla 2. Holst’s The Planets 3. Elgar’s Symphony No. 1 4. Beethoven’s Pastoral Symphony 5. Chopin’s Piano Concerto No. 1 (NC)

FIVE BEST BARS TO SEE LIVE DJS

1. Beech Street Parlor 2. Before shows at Portland Playhouse 3. Ground Kontrol 4. Jade Lounge 5. The Tannery (IZ)

FIVE BEST OPEN MICS I ATTENDED THIS YEAR

1. Sonic Forum at the Goodfoot 2. Artichoke every other Thursday 3. Clyde’s Prime Rib’s Sunday Jazz Jam 4. The Lamp on Sundays 5. Pub at the End of the Universe on Thursdays (IZ)

FIVE PORTLAND MUSIC EVENTS THAT (PROBABLY) WON’T EVER HAPPEN AGAIN

1. Watching Divers destroy the Know’s Alberta location.

2. Seeing Mel Brown at Jimmy Mak’s.

3. Dancing astronauts crowdsurfing on inflatable flamingos during STRFKR’s MFNWpPP set.

4. Watching Kyle Craft at the Liquor Store in front of mostly friends and family.

5. A backyard house show double feature with Psychomagic and Cool Ghouls—too good to replicate. (MAS)

FIVE REASONS TO ACTUALLY LOOK FORWARD TO 2017

1. The new Know.

2. PJ Harvey playing Crystal Ballroom.

3. Frank Ocean headlining Sasquatch.

4. The Last Artful, Dodgr’s new fulllength album, Bone Music.

5. Maybe more Explode Into Colors shows? Please? (MPS) THOMAS TEAL

FIVE BEST THINGS THAT HAPPENED IN PORTLAND MUSIC THIS YEAR

Aminé performing on The Tonight Show.

FIVE MOST ANNOYING PEOPLE AT MFNWPPP

1. The guy who stood right in front of me at Ween in a shirt that read “Build Bikes, Drink Beer.”

2. The narc who got my friend kicked out for smoking a cigarette.

3. The Ben & Jerry’s promoters handing out free ice cream instead of water bottles.

4. Andrew W.K. 5. Anyone who left right before Duran Duran. (IZ)

1. Donte Thomas 2. Elton Cray 3. Raquel Divar 4. Bryson the Alien 5. I$$A (BH)

STRFKR at MusicfestNW presents Project Pabst.

Willamette Week DECEMBER 28, 2016 wweek.com

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PROFILE C O U R T E SY O F FAC E B O O K

NEVER MISS A BEAT.

MUSIC

ROCK OF AGES: Sam Henry in his younger days.

Drummer Boy PORTLAND PUNK LIFER SAM HENRY TURNS 60.

BY N ATHA N CA R SON

@WillametteWeek

@wweek

@WillametteWeek

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Willamette Week DECEMBER 28, 2016 wweek.com

503-243-2122

Conventional wisdom maintains when punk started, bands like the Sex Pistols and the Ramones leveled the playing field and put music back in the hands of the people, who often picked up instruments and started bands before even learning how to play them. But, Sid Vicious aside, most of the first generation of punk musicians knew how to play, and play well. And one of the finest drummers to allow punk to derail his life and career was a Portland boy named Sam Henry.

“I was born legally blind,” says Henry while leaning his face into a menu at the Side Door in Southeast Portland. “So I had extensive ear training when I was very young, and I didn’t know it.

I just started building drum sets out of like Tinkertoy cans. I used chopsticks. I just wanted to play drums. That’s all I wanted to do.”

And that’s pretty much exactly what he’s done.

In almost 50 years as a working musician, Henry has applied his intricate percussion power to some of Portland’s most crucial bands, including the Wipers, Napalm Beach, and the Rats—Fred and Toody Cole’s pre-Dead Moon band. Of late, he’s been touring and recording with the garagepunk quartet Don’t.

As he turns 60 on Dec. 28, Henry has become something of a patron saint of Portland punk.

While many of his peers have slowed down, left town or passed on, he’s still here, often posted up at Old Portland haunts like My Father’s Place, telling stories behind a line of empty glasses. He is the definition of a lifer—a musician with the chops to write his own ticket, but who prefers dive-bar gigs.

“I think the whole punk-rock thing kind of turned me into a bad rebel of some sort,” he says. “But in other ways, it made me stand out as somebody.”

Henry was born in Oregon City in 1956 and grew up in the Milwaukie area. When he was 10, his father dragged him to the bar at the Hoyt Hotel in Old Town, where he worked, to see jazz drummer Buddy Rich. Within a year, Henry had a kit of his own. By 12, he was playing in clubs six night a week.

“My mom would drive me with my little drum set, and I’d play in little country-western bands in Hillsboro, weird places,” he says.

Around age 19, Henry met Portland punk pioneer Greg Sage, who drafted Henry into his band, Hard Road, which would later become the Wipers, the Northwest punk band that would eventually influence everyone from Nirvana to the Melvins. After the recording of 1980’s Is This Real?, the Wipers relocated to New York.

The band was not well-received there, so Henry decided to quit and return to Portland while the Wipers continued without him.

Back on the cattle-company circuit, Henry was offered a position in the Rats, the band that would later become Dead Moon. Simultaneously, he joined nascent psychedelic punk band Napalm Beach, which he played with for the next three decades. Substance abuse was rampant within the band, and the group never reached its potential. Getting clean “took a while,” Henry says. “I had to go to jail. We all went to jail. A lot of people did.”

The initial reason Henry had wanted to play in Napalm Beach was to jam with bassist Dave Minick, who quit the band the day before Henry joined. A few years ago, Henry began writing songs with singer Jenny Connors, and Minick was invited into the fold to form Don’t, beginning a late-career chapter in Henry’s rock-’n’-roll life.

If there were any way to crown Henry with lifetime achievement beyond his 2011 Oregon Music Hall of Fame induction, it would be to come full circle and share the stage with the band that started everything for him. A Wipers reunion would help Henry get the widespread recognition he deserves. But so far, Sage is holding out.

Henry admits his career has been defined by being “in the wrong place at the wrong time.”

But he isn’t bitter.

“I’m proud of just being able to continue doing this,” he says. “I’m just proud of being able to be 60 years old and keep playing and touring, and proud of doing something that I actually believed in. Didn’t know half the time what I was doing, but just stuck with it.”

SEE IT: Sam Henry’s 60th Birthday Blowout is at the Liquor Store, 3341 SE Belmont St., with Poison Idea, Napalm Beach and Don’t, on Wednesday, Dec. 28. 9 pm. $15. 21+.

= WW Pick. Highly recommended.

Prices listed are sometimes for advance ticket sales. At-the-door increases and so-called convenience charges may apply. Event lineups are subject to change after WW’s press deadlines.

Editor: MATTHEW SINGER. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, go to wweek.com/submitevents and follow submission directions. All shows should be submitted two weeks or more in advance of event. Press kits, CDs and especially vinyl can be sent to Music Desk, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Please include show or release date information with all physical mailings. Email: msinger@wweek.com. Fax: 243-1115.

WEDNESDAY, DEC. 28 Machinedrum, Gangsigns, Magic Fades

[FANCY FOOTWORK] On his latest album as Machinedrum, this year’s Human Energy, Travis Stewart’s genre-hopping is a head-spinning feat too joyous to be written off as pastiche. Stewart takes ideas from IDM, glitch, footwork and dubstep and throws them into a blender, yielding a relentless playlist filled with earworms and epic guest appearances alike. PETE COTTELL. 45 East, 315 SE 3rd Ave., 10 pm. $15-$18. 21+.

Tough Customer, Mr. Wrong, Dr. Identity, ZZ Narc

[POST-PUNK] The past 30-something years have smoothed the rough peaks of post-punk’s first wave, and scant few bands that dive into the depths of Wire, the Raincoats and Talking Heads return with much more than a pleasing remembrance of things past. The work of Vancouver, B.C.’s Tough Customer is an exception. The band’s 2015 demo is certainly animated by the adventurous spirits of the aforementioned trailblazers, but Tough Customer transforms the post-punk canon into a permission slip that grants access to all the weird and vulnerable places people aren’t supposed to go. Get silly.

Get sad. Dance. Cry. Everything goes here. CHRIS STAMM. Pacific Northwest College of Art, 511 NW Broadway, 503-226-4391. 7 pm. $5 suggested donation. All ages.

THURSDAY, DEC. 29 Railroad Earth, Crow and the Canyon

[NEWGRASS] Railroad Earth is six dudes from New Jersey who play progressive bluegrass—which may sound like a descriptor your uncle would be really into, but this wellloved band has a few tricks up its sleeve that lend it a distinctive flavor. The band’s core instrumentation is acoustic, but it also incorporates electric guitar, saxophone and elements of jazz, Celtic music and rock ’n’ roll. Tonight, it starts a three-night run ending New Year’s Eve. MAYA MCOMIE. Revolution Hall, 1300 SE Stark St., No. 110. 8 pm., Through Dec. 31. $25 advance, $30 day of show, $90 three-day pass. 21+.

Lola Buzzkill Holiday Revue

[KITSCHY] A delightful callback to ’70s television specials, Lola Buzzkill’s take on the all-thingsoffered variety show brings a holiday theme and modern flair perfectly suited to the band’s already kookily nostalgic soul, disco and R&B schtick. Choreographed dance routines from Amira Sereia, a performance art piece from The Nutcracker, and comedy from Wendy Weiss combine with performances from Melt and Lola Buzzkill itself. Proceeds go to Standing Rock, so remember to laugh loudly, nix the heckles and hold your applause until the end. CERVANTE POPE. The Liquor Store, 3341 SE Belmont St., 503-288-3895. 9 pm. $8. 21+.

Body Shame, ABSV, Ras Mix, Nonlife [ELECTRO DOOM] Body Shame’s Bandcamp page instructs listeners to “listen at maximum volume in minimal light.” So that is what I did.

I drew my curtains. I cranked my

headphones. And Body Shame’s You Look So Underfed transported me to a nightmare realm of screaming synths and pummeling drum machines, an industrial hell of posthuman decay and transcendent dread. There is a stretch halfway through the album’s first track, “Black Truck Creeper,” that sounds like a cyborg trying to eat its own body. It is profoundly unpleasant and deeply perfect. Consider this a soundtrack for your worst vision of our future. CHRIS STAMM. The Waypost, 3120 N Williams Ave., 503-367-3182.. 8 pm. Free, donations accepted. 21+.

FRIDAY, DEC. 30 Jeff’s New Year Plasma Blast!

[GARAGE] With possibly the most stacked local New Year’s Eve weekend bill of all, the mysterious “Jeff” presents an evening packed with reverb-heavy fuzz rock from start to finish. Half year-end party and half tour kickoff for Thong, this mini festival of sorts starts right at 5 pm with mathcore band GrandFather. A new set starts every 30 minutes, so the evening will quickly bounce through performances by Dim Wit, the Goobs, Psychomagic and more before instrumental psych trio Máscaras closes out the show. It takes the stage at roughly 10:30 pm, meaning there will probably still be time to stumble off to another party afterward. CERVANTE POPE. American Legion Hall, 2104 NE Alberta St., 503-284-7272. 5 pm. Contact venue for ticket prices. All ages.

Vote for Dancing: Beats Antique, Thriftworks, El Papachango, High Step Society, Solovox

[BEAT DUB] Beats Antique is truly a hybrid project, blending the talents of its three members to create a sound combining Afrobeat, modern jazz and funk, as well as belly dancing. Started in 2007 in collaboration with producer Miles Copeland, the band brings together tradition and innovation, in the form of Middle Eastern instrumentation, Balkan rhythms and electronic shading. With releases almost every year since it started, the most recent being October’s Shadowbox, it shows no signs of stopping, and its energetic, compulsive danceability is fitting for the first night of Vote for Dancing, a three-day affair at the Roseland that promises to be packed with revelers leading up to New Year’s Eve. MAYA MCOMIE. Roseland Theater, 8 NW 6th Ave., 971-2300033. 9 pm. $31. 21+.

SATURDAY, DEC. 31 Cracker, Camper Van Beethoven

[COLLEGE ROCK] David Lowery’s career reads likes a master class in how best to forge lingering indie stardom despite having a disagreeable voice, desperate literary pretensions and a songwriting muse focused squarely on novelty singles satirizing fashions of the moment.

Camper Van Beethoven spent the ’80s surrounding goofball anthems with clever wordplay and genrebending instrumentation, while ’90s act Cracker won modern-rock airplay via hooky screeds against obvious targets. CVB’s last two albums—Northern and Southern

CONT. on page 32 Willamette Week DECEMBER 28, 2016 wweek.com

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MUSIC INTRODUCING CO U R T E SY O F R A N DY B E M R O S E

Cali road trips La Costa Perdida and El Camino Real—embrace a gently rocking Laurel Canyon vibe absent irony, and Cracker’s latest release, Berkeley to Bakersfield, bundles a protest-kitsch set alongside an altcountry collection. Nowadays, you’ll only see the bands together and generally at this time of year, as Lowery focuses on his true calling— teaching courses on the music business for the University of Georgia.

JAY HORTON. Aladdin Theater, 3017 SE Milwaukie Ave., 503-234-9694. 9 pm. $40 advance, $45 day of show.

21+.

Witch Mountain, Ice Queens, Bitch’n

[CASCADIAN DOOM METAL] Tonight, people will gather, raise fists, close their eyes, and headbang away the 2016 blues with one of Portland’s heaviest ensembles, Witch Mountain.

Years of persistence have no doubt paid off for original members Rob Wrong and Nate Carson. Their nearly 20-year span of musical brotherhood carries a constant heavy gale, leaving an increasingly impressive wake of excellence that cannot be found in any group around. The recent addition of soul-quivering vocalist Kayla Dixon highlights their progress. Having found their Dio, Witch Mountain conjures superstitious, bluesy doom that blends the classic and the modern. Heavy math-rockers Ice Queens and multihyphenate punks Bitch’n join in the NYE maelstrom. CASEY MARTIN. Bunk Bar, 1028 SE Water Ave., 503-328-2865.

9:30 pm. $10. 21+.

Quannum MCs

[NORCAL HIP-HOP] Both Latyrx and Blackalicious—arguably the most standout members of ’90s Bay Area rap Quantum Projects—began issuing left-field hip-hop recordings during the Clinton administration, had members explore solo opportunities during the Bush years and then returned to collective concerns amid Obama’s second term. In addition to reviving live appearances, each troupe has spent time in the studio, and while nothing turned up the oddity of Latyrx having an MC rap simultaneously in each speaker channel, or Blackalicious tossing out rhymes in alphabetical order on “Alphabet Aerobics,” all involved continue to inhabit a unique musical outpost. It’s fitting, then, that the minds behind both the Solesides imprint reunite here to slough off the horrors of 2016 and usher in the unknown. DAVE CANTOR. Star Theater, 13 NW 6th Ave., 503-2484700. 9 pm. $30-$45. 21+.

Christian Martin, the Perfect Cyn, Laura Lynn, Graintable

[HOUSE PARTY] Universally described as a West Coast legend, Christian Martin seems too big a name to be celebrating New Year’s Eve at the Liquor Store’s more intimate confines, but the Dirtybird cofounder famously prizes a communal atmosphere. Though the tech-house label of the same name trends ever higher among tastemakers worldwide, the Dirtybird brand is still best known for the beloved BBQs first launched 13 years ago by a quartet of proto-superstar DJs for a handful of attendees ‘round a San Francisco park. The gatherings now attract thousands to grill-flipping, bootyshaking spectaculars touring Miami and New York. Like all the Dirtybird flock, Martin eschews the tweenerpandering elements of the current EDM hit parade for a darker, richer, hip-hop-flavored mix—though fueling raucous dance-floor shenanigans remains job one. The Liquor Store basement might not have a ball drop, but don’t worry about the bass. JAY HORTON. The Liquor Store, 3341 SE Belmont St., 503-754-7782. 8:30 pm. $27. 21+.

The Parson Red Heads, Poison Beaches, Josh White

[RUNNIN’ DOWN A DREAM] The turning of the New Year should be a time to celebrate the past as well as the future—something the Parson Red Heads have done rather well over the course of the past decade,

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Willamette Week DECEMBER 28, 2016 wweek.com

Because WHO: Randy Bemrose (vocals, multiple instruments) and Riley Geare (production, engineering).

SOUNDS LIKE: The Beatles’ cousins formed a modern indiepop band.

FOR FANS OF: Early MGMT, Eckhart Tolle, great melodies, homophones, Peter Pan in Kensington Gardens.

“Ain’t nobody wanna hear me wax poetically about day-to-day shit,” says Randy Bemrose, “least of all mine.”

Instead, the former drummer, bassist and producer of Radiation City uses his new solo act, Because, to wax poetically about other shit, and an almost limitless range of it: existentialism, family, faith, abandonment, imagination and sincere explorations of what it means to be a person in the world. That kind of shit.

With Because, Bemrose is asking the big existential questions, even beyond the songwriting. The project started “more as a means to other ends than one in and of itself,” he says. Rather than setting out to prove his ability and worth as a one-man band, Bemrose “wanted an opportunity to learn—how better to play piano, how better to write in my own voice after a number of years away from it, and what exactly were the capabilities of the studio I’d been building in my basement.”

The project’s debut album, I Want to Be Your B, is the work of the past three years or so, which Bemrose mostly spent building, experimenting with and, in essence, becoming emotionally intimate with his home studio setup. Most of the gear Because used to make the album was built or hand-modified by Bemrose himself.

“I’ve devoted a great deal of time to very technical engineering endeavors,” he says. “I’ve got pages and pages of notes: mic choices and angles and distances, different outboard signal chains, compression settings.” In some ways, “the songs were just skeletons I could hang production experiments on,” Bemrose says, “parts I could play over and over as I went hounding for this tone or that.”

Both his meticulous obsession with sound and penchant for whimsy and philosophical musing shine through clearly on I Want to Be Your B. A collection of densely orchestrated but not overpolished pop tunes, the album is attractive and refreshing from the first note, and Bemrose’s demonstrated commitment to prioritizing strong, stick-with-you melodies sweetens the deal.

The sort of auteur role Bemrose plays in Because—linking his identities as instrumentalist, songwriter, producer and engineer together into one fully realized idea—makes for a compelling and totally unique new artist to watch out for, and keeps Radiation City’s sudden breakup from feeling like such a big loss after all.

“There’s lots of little ear candy to thrill you or distract you, but if you’re focused on the root of things it’s very plain, boring almost,” Bemrose says. “Life is a wonder. Life is long.” ISABEL ZACHARIAS. SEE IT: Because plays Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., with Point Juncture, WA and Swansea, on Wednesday, Dec. 28. 9 pm. $5. 21+.

TONJE THILESEN

EDM IN BLUE: Machinedrum plays 45 East on Wednesday, Dec. 28. having released three full-lengths that rely on the pastoral sounds of the early ’70s. For the band’s annual covers show, the retro rockers will look to rehash the restless charm and waning nostalgia of Tom Petty’s best solo outing, Full Moon Fever, in full. Buddy Holly’s final LP and the brash romanticism of the Replacements’ Tim will also be on display, courtesy of Josh White and Poison Beaches, respectively. BRANDON WIDDER. White Eagle Saloon, 836 N Russell St., 503-282-6810. 9 pm. $10 advance, $12 day of show. 21+.

he picked up good habits from some of the world’s best experimental and improvisational musicians. Joined by Jonas Oglesbee on drums and Andrew Jones on bass, the group curates a misty amalgamation of dark tones that slowly creep into every crevice of your soul. Its latest record, Glimpse of Future, showcases a melodic and immensely creative form of modern jazz that our city absolutely could use heavier helpings of. PARKER HALL. Fremont Theater, 2393 NE Fremont St., 503-946-1962. 8 pm Thursday, Dec. 29. Free. 21+.

See pages 23 and 26 for more New Year’s Eve events.

Oregon Symphony, Portland Symphonic Choir

TUESDAY, JAN. 3 Caskey

[HIP-HOP] The strained relationship between hip-hop mogul Birdman and his “son” Lil Wayne has largely been the focus of both dudes’ 2016. Weezy continues to scream “Fuck Cash Money!” at his shows, and Stunna stays about his money, reportedly planning a Cash Money reunion tour that’ll be without the label’s biggest star. Meanwhile, CMB’s Caskey, an Orlando native who signed with the label in 2012, made a comment about his bosses arguing over millions to DJ Smallz last year—“I’d love to be in that position”—which was a political way of saying he’ll keep doing until the feud gets resolved. A heavily tattooed white guy with an incendiary flow, he has done exactly that with a string of free projects—Black Sheep 3, Wish U Were Here—that have helped continue to build his fanbase. His latest set, No Apologies, has enough standouts to serve as a proper introduction to the next rapper set to roll off the Cash Money assembly line.

ERIC DIEP. Roseland Theater, 8 NW 6th Ave., 971-230-0033. 8 pm. $20 advance, $25 day of show. All ages.

Brad Parsons & Friends

[AMERICANA] Former Horse Feathers member Brad Parsons is a busy guy. The singer-songwriter features prominently at both the Northwest String Summit and WinterWonderGrass, and his solo recording career is gaining steam as well, with forthcoming freshman LP, Hold True, showing a healthy mix of country, Americana and psychedelic blues. Tonight, Parsons plays a no-charge affair that will surely feature several talented musician pals of this tapped in artist-about-town. MARK STOCK. The Goodfoot, 2845 SE Stark St., 503239-9292. 9 pm. Free. 21+.

CLASSICAL, JAZZ & WORLD Moongriffin Trio

[NIGHT JAZZ] Guitarist Elliot Ross is an Oregon native, but his Moongriffin Trio is heavily inspired by a decade spent bouncing around the clubs and basements of New York and Chicago, where

[BIG BIG BAND] The Oregon Symphony’s annual New Year’s bash is dominated by a single constant—Beethoven’s ninth and final symphony. What changes from year to year is the opening act.

This time, it’s a tribute to the late Norman Leyden, the orchestra’s longtime pops conductor, who died in 2014 at age 96. He led the OSO’s pops shows for 34 years and Seattle Symphony’s for 18. The Oregon Music Hall of Fame laureate’s starry career stretched back to his World War II arrangements for Glenn Miller through extensive studio and TV work, including musical direction of Jackie Gleason and Arthur Godfrey’s TV and radio shows. He also wrote and arranged music for Disney films and stars like Tony Bennett and Frank Sinatra, and created over a thousand arrangements. The Oregon Symphony will play some of them in the first half of its last concerts of the year, before the balloons plummet and put a colorful end to this dreadful year. BRETT CAMPBELL. Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall, 1037 SW Broadway, 503-248-4335. 7:30 pm Friday, Dec. 30. $45-$150. All ages.

Florestan Trio

[CLASSICAL NYE] While the Oregon Symphony’s big classical New Year’s concert happens a few blocks away at the Schnitz, Friends of Chamber Music offers a more intimate classical celebration preceded by an optional nearby dinner. One of the most esteemed Oregon chamber-music ensembles, the long-running Florestan Trio— pianist Janet Guggenheim, violinist Carol Sindell and cellist Hamilton Cheifetz—play classical greatest hits like Saint-Saëns’ “The Swan,” Ravel’s lilting “Piece in the Form of a Habanera,” and “Meditation” from Massenet’s opera, Thaïs. Baritone Kevin Walsh and pianist John Strege, now-retired longtime director of music at Trinity Cathedral, then perform a few American songbook standards before everyone dives into the free champagne and dessert. BRETT CAMPBELL. The Old Church, 1422 SW 11th Ave., 503222-2031. 7:30 pm Saturday, Dec. 31. $35. All ages.

For more Music listings, visit Willamette Week DECEMBER 28, 2016 wweek.com

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MUSIC CALENDAR

Editor: Matthew Singer. TO HAVE YOUR EVENT LISTED, send show information at least two weeks in advance on the web at wweek.com/ submitevents. Press kits, CDs and especially vinyl can be sent to Music Desk, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Please include show or release date information with all physical mailings.

Email: music@wweek.com.

For more listings, check out wweek.com.

W W S TA F F

= WW Pick.

Highly recommended.

[DEC. 28-JAN. 3]

WED. DEC. 28 45 East

Songs and Stories with Art Alexakis of Everclear and Leigh Nash of Sixpence None The Richer

American Legion Hall

315 SE 3rd Ave. Machinedrum, Gangsigns, Magic Fades

2104 NE Alberta Liedertafel Harmonie

Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall

Jimmy Mak’s

221 NW 10th Ave. Mel Brown Quartet; The Christopher Brown Quartet

1037 SW Broadway Ode to Joy: New Year’s Celebration

Bunk Bar

LaurelThirst Public House

1028 SE Water Ave. Witch Mountain, Ice Queens, Bitch’n

2958 NE Glisan St Bahttsi; Anita Margarita & the Rattlesnakes

Cerimon House

5131 NE 23rd Avenue Resolutions Labyrinth Walk

Mississippi Pizza

3552 N Mississippi Ave Tallulah’s Daddy

Crystal Ballroom

Mississippi Studios

1332 W Burnside St Brandi Carlile, Brynn Elliott

3939 N Mississippi Ave. Because, Point Juncture WA

Dante’s

Nonna

350 West Burnside Rock for Ghost Ship

5513 NE 30th Ave, The Horsfall Duo!

Doug Fir Lounge

PNCA

830 E Burnside St. Jerry Joseph and The Jackmormons

511 NW Broadway Tough Customer, Mr. Wrong, Dr. Identity, ZZ Narc

Duff’s Garage

The Basil Bar

2530 NE 82nd Ave Ben Rice, Sister Mercy

The Goodfoot

1001 SE Morrison St. New Years Squeeze with the Last Artful, Dodgr and Dylan Stark

3131 NE Broadway St, Sweet n’ Juicy Variety Show

Holocene

2845 SE Stark St Sugarcane and The Resolectrics

Jimmy Mak’s

221 NW 10th Ave. New Year’s Eve with Soul Vaccination

The Liquor Store

3341 SE Belmont St, Sam Henry 60th Birthday Bash featuring Poison Idea, Napalm Beach, Don’t

Mississippi Pizza

3552 N Mississippi Ave Melao de Cuba New Year’s Eve Show

White Eagle Saloon

Mississippi Studios

836 N Russell St Old Outfits, The City Pines, Stanley Woods Band

3939 N Mississippi Ave. Jump Jack New Year’s Eve with Chanti Darling and Natasha Kmeto

Nyx

THURS. DEC. 29

215 W Burnside St. Nyx Soft Opening with the Pharcyde

Fremont Theater

2393 NE Fremont Street Moongriffin Trio

Ponderosa Lounge

10350 N Vancouver Way, 2017 NYE PARTY w/ REKLESS KOMPANY

Jimmy Mak’s

221 NW 10th Ave. Mel Brown B3 Organ Group; AJAM

Produce Row Cafe

204 SE Oak St, Occasion Vibration NYE presents Elliott Thomas aka Etbonz

LaurelThirst Public House 2958 NE Glisan St Jackson County Kills, Mamma Coal; Grasshopper

Mississippi Pizza

3552 N Mississippi Ave Rakes, Thunder & Revenge

Revolution Hall

1300 SE Stark St #110 Railroad Earth

LAST YEAR LIVE

Mississippi Pizza

1. Vince Staples at Hawthorne Theatre, 2/28

Revolution Hall

2. Ty Segall at Aladdin Theater, 1/23

3552 N Mississippi Ave Red Yarn 1300 SE Stark St #110 Railroad Earth, Crow and the Canyon

3. Lupe Fiasco at Roseland Theater, 1/14

The Goodfoot

2845 SE Stark St Left Coast Country, Tommy Alexander, Evan Lanam

The Liquor Store

3341 SE Belmont St, Lola Buzzkill Holiday Revue

The Secret Society

116 NE Russell St Thursday Swing with The Juleps, Joe Baker & the Kitchen Men

The Waypost

3120 N. Williams Avenue, Body Shame, ABSV, Ras Mix, Nonlife

Twilight Cafe and Bar 1420 SE Powell

34

The Loveboys, The Secret Ceremony, Deathlist

White Eagle Saloon 836 N Russell St MIC CHECK

Wonder Ballroom 128 NE Russell St. Fruition

FRI. DEC. 30 American Legion Hall 2104 NE Alberta Jeff’s New Year Plasma Blast

Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall

1037 SW Broadway

Willamette Week DECEMBER 28, 2016 wweek.com

4. Carly Rae Jepsen at Wonder Ballroom, 3/1

8. Bruce Springsteen at Moda Center, 3/22

12. Young Thug at Roseland Theater, 5/21

5. Justin Bieber at Moda Center, 3/13

9. Tinashe at Crystal Ballroom, 4/7

13. Insane Clown Posse at Hawthorne Theatre, 5/31

6. Slayer at Roseland Theater, 3/30

10. Paul McCartney at Moda Center, 4/15

14. At the Drive-In at Crystal Ballroom, 6/6

7. Iggy Pop at Keller Auditorium, 3/29

11. Anderson.Paak at Roseland Theater, 4/16

15. Mitski at Analog Cafe, 7/11

Oregon Symphony, Portland Symphonic Choir

Dante’s

350 West Burnside Black Sabbitch, Moondrake, Almost Human

Doug Fir Lounge

830 E Burnside St. Jerry Joseph and The Jackmormons

Duff’s Garage

2530 NE 82nd Ave Rae Gordon; Rockin’ Ricki

Hawthorne Theatre

1507 SE César E. Chávez Blvd.

Rob $tone

Jimmy Mak’s

221 NW 10th Ave. Lisa Mann and Her Really Good Band

LaurelThirst Public House

2958 NE Glisan St Gerle Haggard; Dead Men Talking, Yard Gypsy

Ponderosa Lounge

10350 N Vancouver Way, Nash Brothers

Revolution Hall

1300 SE Stark St #110 Railroad Earth

Roseland Theater

3552 N Mississippi Ave Krebsic Orkestar

8 NW 6th Ave Vote For Dancing: Beats Antique, Thriftworks, El Papachango, High Step Society, Solovox

Mississippi Pizza

Skyline Tavern

Mississippi Pizza

3552 N Mississippi Ave Trio Tsuica

Moda Center

1 N Center Court St Trans-Siberian Orchestra

8031 NW Skyline Blvd David Stoops & ThreeFingered Jack

The Analog Cafe

720 SE Hawthorne Blvd.

16. Ice Cube at MFNW presents Project Pabst, 8/27 17. Jeff Tweedy at Pickathon, 8/6 18. Lauryn Hill at Keller Auditorium, 11/10

Roseland Theater

8 NW 6th Ave The Polish Ambassador

Skyline Tavern

8031 NW Skyline Blvd The Annette Lowman Trio

Slim’s PDX

8635 N Lombard St. NYE Dance Party w/Hans & The Wanted

Spare Room Portland School of Rock 10th Anniversary Show

JT Wise Band

The O’Neil Public House

836 N Russell St My Siamese Twin & Coloring Electric LIke at The White Eagle

6000 NE Glisan St. Cedro Willie, Copper & Crow

The Secret Society

116 NE Russell St Boy & Bean; Dan Cable Presents: Holidaze Party w/New Move, Quiet Type, Santiam, Kaiya On The Mountain

Twilight Cafe and Bar 1420 SE Powell Bowers, Broodmare

White Eagle Saloon 836 N Russell St

White Eagle Saloon

Wonder Ballroom 128 NE Russell St. Fruition

SAT. DEC. 31 Aladdin Theater

3017 SE Milwaukie Ave Cracker, Camper Van Beethoven

Alberta Rose

3000 NE Alberta St

4830 NE 42nd Ave pdx or 97218 Caleb Klauder’s Rhinestone Cowboy Bash

Star Theater

13 NW 6th Ave. Quannum MCs

The Analog Cafe

720 SE Hawthorne Blvd.

The Analog’s New Year Eve Masquerade Ball

The Goodfoot

2845 SE Stark St NYE with Scott Pemberton Trio and Soul Stew DJ’s

The Liquor Store

3341 SE Belmont St, NYE 2016 Christian Martin (dirtybird)

e m i ly j o a n g r e e n e / m a r t i n c i z m a r

BAR REVIEW

Where to Drink This Week 1.

Jimmy Mak’s

The Old Church

1422 SW 11th Ave Florestan Trio

The O’Neil Public House

White Eagle Saloon

836 N Russell St The Parson Red Heads, Poison Beaches, Josh White

6000 NE Glisan St. NYE: Buddy Jay’s Jamaican Jazz Band (ska), Garden Goat

Wonder Ballroom

The O’Neil Public House

SUN. JAN. 1

6000 NE Glisan St. OR-7

The Secret Society

116 NE Russell St The Way Downs present Amy Amy Amy! A Tribute to Amy Winehouse

128 NE Russell St. Fruition

Dante’s

350 West Burnside GRINFERNO! Exotic Writers Showcase! followed by Sinferno Cabaret

The Analog Cafe

720 SE Hawthorne Blvd.

PERFECT BY TOMORROW

The Goodfoot

2845 SE Stark St Sonic Forum

TUES. JAN. 3 Duff’s Garage

2530 NE 82nd Ave Zolopht

Jimmy Mak’s

221 NW 10th Ave. Mel Brown Septet

Revolution Hall

Mississippi Pizza

SE 2nd Ave. and Hawthorne Blvd.

An Infinite New Year’s: a night carnival for time travelers

Rontoms

Raven and Rose

The Vault at O’Connor’s

836 N Russell St Todd Sheaffer solo | White Eagle Saloon

The Steep and Thorny Way to Heaven

7850 SW Capitol Hwy Jack McMahon Band

Tony Starlight Showroom

1125 SE Madison St, Tony Starlight’s Soft Rockin’ New Years Eve

Twilight Cafe and Bar 1420 SE Powell NYE at the Twilight with Dartgun and the Vignettes/The Shriekers

1300 SE Stark St #110 Henry Rollins 600 E Burnside St Lola Buzzkill, Pancho & the Factory, Le Rev

White Eagle Saloon

MON. JAN. 2 Dante’s

350 West Burnside JABBA THE WHUTT? followed by Karaoke From Hell

Mississippi Pizza

3552 N Mississippi Ave Mr. Ben

3552 N Mississippi Ave Baby Ketten Karaoke 1331 SW Broadway Na Rósaí

The Analog Cafe

720 SE Hawthorne Blvd.

Every Tuesday “ULTRA MAGNETIC”

The Analog Cafe

720 SE Hawthorne Blvd.

Rose Room Swing Dance

The Goodfoot

2845 SE Stark St Brad Parsons & Friends

Valentines

232 SW Ankeny St GOOO with Tig Bitty, Angel-11, modal zork

221 NW 10th Ave., 503-295-6542, jimmymaks.com.

Barring a miracle, new year’s eve will be the last hurrah for one of the most legendary jazz clubs in the country—and definitely the last in this spot. Stop in, say hello.

2.

Tony’s Tavern

1955 W Burnside St., 503-228-8527. the beer taps are dry, but the tear-stained cheeks of 20-year regulars are not. Here’s to one of the last great westside dives, now going under.

3.

Laurelthirst

2958 NE Glisan St., 503-232-1504, laurelthirst.com. instead of taking a developer’s offer, the owners of the venerable old laurelthirst sold their bar to supporters, staff and musician lewi longmire—so the music won’t stop. celebrate here.

4.

Rialto Poolroom

529 SW 4th Ave., 503-228-7605, rialtopoolroom.com. or here, for that matter. this downtown bar, nearly a century old, also just got new owners and a stay of execution. Happy fuckin’ new year.

5.

Cosmo Lounge

FRI. DEC. 30 45 East

315 SE 3rd Ave Morgan Page

Beech Street Parlor

WED. DEC. 28 Beech Street Parlor 412 NE Beech Street Freeform Portland: DJ Sappho

Dig A Pony

736 SE Grand Ave. Atom 13 (kitchen sink o’ sonic excellence)

Ground Kontrol

Beech Street Parlor

412 NE Beech Street DJ Danny Glover’s Kid

Dig A Pony

736 SE Grand Ave. Gwizski (boogie & new funk exclusives)

Double Barrel Tavern 2002 SE Division St. DJ Joey Prude

511 NW Couch St. TRONix: Logical Aggression (dark electro)

Killingsworth Dynasty

Sandy Hut

Moloko

1430 NE Sandy Blvd.

DJ Hot Lips

Swift Lounge

1932 NE Broadway St Deff Con 4

The Lovecraft Bar

421 SE Grand Ave Event Horizon w/ DJ Straylight (darkwave, industrial, synth)

The Raven

832 N Killingsworth St DJ Susanne Bummers

3967 N. Mississippi Ave. NorthernDraw (funk, hiphop, soul)

Swift Lounge

1932 NE Broadway St Leftside Lean (funk, soul, beats)

The Embers Avenue 100 NW Broadway Disco Daddy

The Lovecraft Bar

3100 NE Sandy Blvd Wicked Wednesdays (hip hop, soul, funk)

421 SE Grand Ave Shadowplay w/ DJ Carrion & friends (goth, industrial)

Tube

The Raven

18 NW 3rd Ave. Easy Egg

THURS. DEC. 29 45 East

315 SE 3rd Ave San Holo & Said The Sky

3100 NE Sandy Blvd House Call Techno Takeover - Vinyl Night

Tube

18 NW 3rd Ave. DJ Jack

412 NE Beech Street L-Train

Black Book

20 NW 3rd Ave The Cave w/ Massacooramaan (rap)

Crystal Ballroom

1332 W Burnside St 80s Video Dance Attack Tribute To Prince

Dig A Pony

736 SE Grand Ave. JPrez (hiphop, house, boogie)

Gold Dust Meridian

3267 SE Hawthorne Blvd.

DJ Joel Jett

Holocene

1001 SE Morrison St. Snap! 90s Dance Party

Killingsworth Dynasty 832 N Killingsworth St DJ E*Rock

Moloko

3967 N. Mississippi Ave. Jackal (lounge tech)

Quarterworld

4811 SE Hawthorne Blvd VCR TV w/ DJ Kyle-Reese (soundtracks, heavy synth, dark dance)

Saucebox

214 N Broadway St Mister Charming (dancefloor, electronica, gooey vibes)

Spare Room

4830 NE 42nd Ave The Get Down

6707 SE Milwaukie Ave., 503-233-4220. cosmo lounge, home of Spanish coffees and $1 High life ponies, was a rollicking dive this christmas and a gem in the front tooth of Sellwood, which stands alongside St. johns as one of the last lively dive-bar districts in Portland. Bless you, Kay’s, yukon and limelight. riP Black cat.

The Liquor Store

3341 SE Belmont St, Pressure & Slide’s Record and Clothes Swap w/ DJs (reggae, northern soul, rocksteady)

The Lovecraft Bar

421 SE Grand Ave Pre New Year’s Eve Dance Party w/ DJ Acid Rick & DJ Wretched (new wave, synth, hunkwave)

Whiskey Bar

31 NW 1st Ave Stylust Beats, Um..., Potions, Hapa

SAT. DEC. 31 45 East

315 SE 3rd Ave Levitate - 2017 NYE: 3lau & Bare Noize

Beech Street Parlor 412 NE Beech Street New Years Eve: Champagne Jam & Count Lips

Bit House Saloon 727 SE Grand Ave Body Service NYE (house, soul, club)

Bossanova Ballroom 722 E Burnside St.

TALE FROM THE BOHEMIAN MONKEY HOUSE: “This is the coolest wine bar in the world,” says Courtney Taylor-Taylor, of his own month-old wine bar, The Old Portland (1433 NW Quimby St., 503-234-0865). This is a bold statement, even from the notoriously immodest Dandy Warhols frontman, who showed up at his bar the same afternoon we happened by. What about the Four Horsemen, the year-old Brooklyn natural wine bar from LCD Soundsystem frontman James Murphy? “It’s just a bunch of plastic orange shit on the walls,” Taylor says. At the Old Portland, Taylor-Taylor, who has never lacked for aesthetic certainty, has created a living critique of overly sterile modernist design and of cramped New Portland. Carved out of the corner of the Dandys’ massive Slabtown clubhouse called the Odditorium, the bar is filled with pieces from shuttered drinking spots, including tables from the Lotus Cardroom and the much-missed Wildwood. The whole place smells like an antique store. The menu is printed on a regular sheet of paper, in Goudy. That menu promises a cheese plate, but we’re told they “have to go out and get some things for it,” and cheese is never spoken of again. The bottles are chosen by Taylor-Taylor, which means mostly old French and Italian reds. On our visit, there were two $12 glasses and 15 bottles, the most modest of which was a $40 Château Lanessan—that’s a Bordeaux from 1999, the year I graduated from high school, and it’s a wonderful drop. You won’t find much Oregon wine, and absolutely no beer. “It’s a bad high,” Taylor-Taylor says.

“Beer makes you larfy—I don’t want that. I don’t want those people here. I like wine, I like the high you get—a dreamy poet’s high.” In a town with too many “concepts” and too few visions, it’s refreshing. But will it draw a crowd? “I lie awake at night worrying about it,” Taylor-Taylor says. “I told my wife, if this doesn’t work out we might have to sell the second house and the cars—we’ll be driving Altimas.” MARTIN CIZMAR. Re:New – New Year Activation 2016-2017

CC Slaughters

219 NW Davis St NYE Platinum Ball 2017

Jai Ho! Bollywood New Year’s Eve with DJ Prashant

Killingsworth Dynasty

Crush Bar

832 N Killingsworth St Lez Do It!

Dig A Pony

3967 N. Mississippi Ave. Frankeee B (scandinavian synthetic funk)

1400 SE Morrison NYE at Crush: Say F*ck 2016 w/ DJ Aurora

Moloko

736 SE Grand Ave. Dance Hard, Kiss Soft: New Years w/ Maxx Bass & Lamar

Quarterworld

Double Barrel Tavern

Sandy Hut

Funhouse Lounge

Saucebox

2002 SE Division St. DJ Daddy Issues 2432 SE 11th Ave. Lumbertwink NYE Gay Dance Party

Gold Dust Meridian

3267 SE Hawthorne Blvd.

Hot Shot Presents Good Riddance 2016! NYE

Hawthorne Eagles Lodge

4904 SE Hawthorne Blvd.

RIP 2016 Soul Party

Hawthorne Theatre

1507 SE César E. Chávez Blvd.

4811 SE Hawthorne Blvd New Year’s Eve 80’s Dance Party 1430 NE Sandy Blvd.

DJ Overcöl 214 N Broadway St Heartbeat Soundsystem New Years Bash

Splash Bar

904 NW Couch St Splash NYE 2017: Miami Nights

Swift Lounge

1932 NE Broadway St New Years Eve w/ Sknny Mrcls

The Goodfoot

2845 SE Stark St NYE with Scott Pemberton Trio and Soul Stew DJ’s

The Lovecraft Bar 421 SE Grand Ave DJ Horrid’s NYE Dance Party!

The Melody Ballroom

615 SE Alder St Desi-Latino Soundclash with DJ Anjali & the Incredible Kid and Orquestra Pacifico Tropical

Valentines

232 SW Ankeny St LIT: NYE Edition

Whiskey Bar

31 NW 1st Ave New Years Eve w/ Dan San, James Anthony, DJ.ZOXY, Tim Clang

White Owl Social Club

1305 SE 8th Ave East Celebrate New Year’s Eve

SUN. JAN. 1 Ground Kontrol

511 NW Couch St. Black Sunday: DJ Nate C. (metal)

Sandy Hut

1430 NE Sandy Blvd.

DJ Mattbastard/ DJ Joey Prude

Star Theater

13 NW 6th Ave Church of Hive (goth, industrial)

The Lovecraft Bar

421 SE Grand Ave Sad Day w/ Buckmaster

MON. JAN. 2 Ground Kontrol

511 NW Couch St. Reaganomix: DJ Jay ‘KingFader’ Bosch (80s)

Star Bar

639 SE Morrison St. Metal Monday w/ DJ Cranium

The Lovecraft Bar 421 SE Grand Ave Black Mass (goth, new wave)

TUES. JAN. 3 The Lovecraft Bar 421 SE Grand Ave Coma Toast (future, glitch, electro)

Tube

18 NW 3rd Ave. Tubesdays w/ DJ Jack

Willamette Week DECEMBER 28, 2016 wweek.com

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PAT T I M C G U I R E

PERFORMANCE = WW Pick. Highly recommended.

Most prices listed are for advance ticket sales. At-the-door increases and so-called convenience charges may apply, so it’s best to call ahead.

Editor: SHANNON GORMLEY (sgormley@wweek.com).

TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, submit information at least two weeks in advance to: sgormley@wweek.com.

THEATER

OPENINGS & PREVIEWS Finding Neverland

For the past four years, Finding Neverland has been continuously moving up through the world of big-time theater, from its 2012 premiere in Leicester, England, to an 18-week run on Broadway that debuted to much hype. A fantasytinged history of playwright J. M. Barrie and the people in his life that inspired him to write Peter Pan, the Broadway version featured Kelsey Grammer, starred Matthew Morrison of Glee fame, and had its producer Bryan Cranston on the red carpet talking about how touching it was.

Now on a national tour that kicked off when the Broadway production was just barely over, there are just as many haters as there are raving testimonials. The haters mainly take issue with the plot: It’s flimsy feel-goodery, and the songs are geared to be breakover pop hits (Finding Neverland: The Album features everyone from Zendaya to Trey Songz). The haters are probably right, but the people who are into the show are probably right too. But what Finding Neverland is guaranteed to have is the kind of elaborate production values that basically only Broadway musicals can afford. The whole thing about crowd-pleasers is that they please crowds. Keller Auditorium, 1111 SW Broadway, portland5.com. 7:30 pm Tuesday-Friday, 2 and 7:30 pm Saturday, 1 and 6:30 pm Sunday, Jan. 3-8. $35-$100.

ALSO PLAYING A Christmas Carol

You don’t expect the traditionalist version of an extremely familiar play to be mindblowing. But Portland Playhouse leverages the well-trodden script to show off some arty production values that are actually very cool. Marley’s Ghost (Todd Van Voris) arises from an eerily lit substage stairwell, and several other actors join in with his lines to create one giant, dissonant voice. The Ghost of Christmas Future (played by multiple actors) looks like a shadow-puppet Babadook with the help of a large sheet of fabric and some candles. Both the sound effects and music are played live, and the actors convincingly switch from one role to another, sometimes without changing costume or even their position on the stage. Plus, it’s pretty fucking cute when Tiny Tim (Serelle Strickland) sings a tiny carol in a tiny voice at the Cratchits’ Christmas dinner. SHANNON GORMLEY. Portland Playhouse, 602 NE Prescott St., portlandplayhouse.com. 7 pm WednesdaySunday, 2 pm Saturday-Sunday, through Dec. 30. $34.

Hershey Felder as Irving Berlin

Even if you don’t go to this show, there’s no escaping Irving Berlin in December: He’s the guy who wrote “White Christmas,” along with “There’s No Business Like Show Business” and “God Bless America,” to name a few. The one-man play is starring and created by actor and pianist Hershey Felder, who’s done similarly formatted musical biographies of pianists like Gershwin and Liszt. The Armory, 128 NW 11th Ave., pcs. org. 7:30 pm Wednesday-Sunday, 2 pm Saturday and Sunday, noon Thursday, through Dec. 30. $25-$75.

La Belle

Portland theater is getting in on the buzz around the upcoming live-action Beauty and the Beast movie. La Belle is basically a steampunk adaptation. Set in a steamship engine room, the play plans on going heavy on the effects from animation to puppets. And unlike the PG-13

rating on the Disney update, this one’s geared toward family crowds. Imago Theatre, 17 SE 8th Ave., imagotheatre. com. Noon and 3:30 pm Thursday-Friday, Dec. 29-30. Noon and 3:30 pm SaturdaySaturday, through Jan. 8. $24.50-$42.50.

COMEDY & VARIETY The Best of Cool Kids Patio Show

The Cool Kids Patio Show standup showcase ran all summer, and meant you could catch a small but solid lineup hosted by Andie Main out on Doug Fir’s patio. The series took a break when it was no longer patio weather, but now it’s back for an end-of-the-year show. This time, the lineup is composed entirely of key figures of the Portland comedy scene: Funniest Five winners Nariko Ott and Caitlin Weierhauser, Control Yourself host JoAnn Schinderle, and Anthony Lopez of Earthquake Hurricane. On the one hand, they’re all comedians you can find performing somewhere in Portland on any given week; on the other hand, the reason you can see them everywhere all the time is because they’re funny.

Despite the name of the series, this show, thankfully, will be held inside. Doug Fir, 830 E Burnside St., dougfirlounge.com.

10 pm Thursday, Dec. 29. $10.

Lez Stand Up

The long-running comedy show with a lesbian-centric lineup manages to balance socially aware comedy that’s somehow still feel-good, and usually pretty weird. Even during their last performance, a week after the election, the comics managed to seem uninhibitedly energetic without diminishing the fact that most of their audience was feeling depressed. Host Kirsten Kuppenbender has an ecstatic, Ellen-influenced goofiness, and even Caitlin Weierhauser’s cartoony anger only amps you up. Lez Stand Up’s New Year’s Eve iteration will feature many of the usual suspects, plus Daniel Martin Austin, whose material (which is aimed at making people as uncomfortable as possible) will fit right in with the showcase’s tendency toward weirdness of all kinds. Siren Theater, 315 NW Davis St., sirentheater.com. 7:30 pm Saturday, Dec. 30. $10.

Ryan Hamilton

Ryan Hamilton’s sets are about as G-rated as standup gets. There’s his voice and delivery, which are both very reminiscent of Jerry Seinfeld. There’s his constant smile and ’60s-businessman hair.

There’s his it’s-funny-because-it’s-true material that riffs on benign subjects like horse-drawn carriages, gym memberships and online dating. But he does have the ability to make well-trodden subjects still seem funny, mainly due to his willingness to poke fun at just how G-rated his content is. His material may be incredibly mild, but that’s kind of what makes Hamilton stand out. Helium Comedy Club, 1510 SE 9th Ave., portland.heliumcomedy.com. 8 pm Thursday, 7:30 and 10 pm Friday, 8 and 10:30 pm Saturday, Dec. 29-31. $16-$49. $49-$59 for late Saturday show, includes party favors and bubbly.

Sinferno Cabaret

Sinferno is no secret: It runs every week, and according to Dante’s, it’s the longestrunning cabaret in Portland. It reliably churns out a diverse sampling of raunchy performance, from burlesque to go-go to fire arts. But this week, it’s also adding writers and comedians to the lineup.

Writers from Exotic Magazine will share samples of their work, and there’s also a decent comedy lineup that features the likes of Belinda Carroll and Wendy Weiss.

Dante’s, 350 W Burnside St., danteslive. com. 9 pm Sunday, Jan. 1. $10. +21.

RODNEY KING

PREVIEW

Strange Days

WHAT’S IN STORE FOR THE SECOND HALF OF THE THEATER SEASON.

BY SHA N N ON GOR MLEY

sgormley@wweek.com

The first half of the theater season is ending in a lot of uncertainty. All three of Post5’s artistic directors resigned after the unexpected closing of their Sellwood theater. Imago’s theater of over three decades is for sale, which also means an unclear future for Third Rail. Three new companies debuted productions, but none of those companies—Beirut Wedding World Theatre Project, Public Citizen Theatre or Mister Theater—have released details about a second show. And even for those who don’t keep up with local theater news, it’s not really necessary to elaborate on the weirdness of what’s going on at a national level.

Theater companies plan their seasons way ahead of time, so it’s a coincidence the shows scheduled for the second half of this season seem to address the weirdness that awaits us in 2017. But so many of the plays seem to be more uncomfortable and uncertain than what we saw this fall.

Here are four shows to look forward to that are righteous, bizarre, and often both.

January: The Flick

The Pulitzer Prize-winning play profiles three movie theater employees. But instead of a perky, feel-good portrayal of overlooked occupations like Artists Rep gave us earlier this season with American Hero, The Flick is slow-moving and realist. It gets its complexity from attention to detail instead of by hashing out concepts. Imago Theatre, 17 SE 8th Ave, thirdrailrep.org. 7:30 pm Thursday-Saturday, 2 pm Sunday, Jan. 20-Feb. 11. $25-$42.50.

February: We’re All Mad Here

Head. Hands. Feet., the last ensemble-devised piece that director Samantha Van Der Merwe and actor Matthew Kerrigan helped create, was incredibly poetic: based on myths and fairy tales

about dismemberment, it was beautifully staged and graceful. Their next devised piece sounds just as vague and inventive, but leaves the world of fantasy for something directly personal. We’re All Mad Here is an Alice in Wonderland-referencing, one-man identity exploration about growing up as a gay man in the Midwest. Shaking the Tree Warehouse, 823 SE Grant St., shaking-the-tree. com. 7:30 pm Thursday-Saturday, 2 pm Sunday, Jan. 27-Feb. 25. $25.

March: Feathers and Teeth

Feathers and Teeth is a horror comedy about a teenage girl dealing with the loss of her mother as well as an undead, bloodthirsty creature that mysteriously appeared. The genre-bending play is bloody, creepy and campy. Agatha Olson, who was fittingly ominous in Third Rail’s The Nether (one of the most morally bizarre shows from the fall, though even it was optimistically pointcounterpoint), plays the lead. Artists Repertory Theatre, 1515 SW Morrison St., artistsrep.org.

7:30 pm Wednesday-Sunday, 2 pm Sunday, March 7-April 2. Additional shows 7:30 pm Tuesday, March 7 and 28, noon Wednesday, March 22, and 2 pm Saturday, April 1. $25-$60.

April: Rodney King

With the first show in the Frontier Series, the anxiety-inducing The Future Show, Artists Rep already delivered on its goal of showcasing storytellers who are attempting to dismantle assumptions about how theater should be performed—but in a way that’s not esoteric. The final show in the series might be the most anticipated, though: Roger Guenveur Smith (who’s acted in the likes of Do the Right Thing and Birth of a Nation) explores the legacy of Rodney King in a dexterous one-man performance. Artists Repertory Theatre, 1515 SW Morrison St., artistsrep.org. 7:30 pm Friday-Sunday, 2 pm Sunday, April 21-23. $30.

Willamette Week DECEMBER 28, 2016 wweek.com

37

VISUAL ARTS Courtesy of Peter Leighton

FEATURE

by artists of color that has nothing at all to do with race. There were deeply moving juxtapositions, like the photo of an elderly black man from the Jim Crow South climbing a set of stairs to get to the “Colored” entrance to the movie theater, hanging next to a photo of Barack Obama climbing the stairs to Air Force One. Though the exhibition was at turns challenging, saddening and disturbing, it felt ultimately hopeful because it demonstrated how much progress we are capable of making in a relatively short period of time. Post-election, I often find myself referring back to the show, reminding myself of where we’ve been as a country.

holly Andres at Charles A. hartman Fine Art (The Fallen Fawn, april)

For this series, photographer Holly Andres created a narrative about two young sisters who find a suitcase washed up at the edge of a lake. We see the girls sneaking the suitcase into their parents’ house, trying on the trove of women’s clothes contained inside. The photographs were elaborately staged productions that included actors, costumes, props and lighting, so they looked like stills from an art house film.

What kept me transfixed by the series was how elliptical it was. Many of the photographs followed the girls throughout their discovery, but others were eerie, atmospheric snapshots that hinted at a much larger story: a single shoe floating in the lake, a car abandoned in a clearing with lipstick-stained cigarette butts in the ashtray. After 20 minutes with the photographs, I still couldn’t bring myself to leave the gallery. So I stayed and got lost again.

I Am Become DeAth By PeteR BRown leiGhton

The Grateful Eight THE PORTLAND ART SHOWS I’M MOST GLAD I SAW IN 2016.

By Je nn i f e r ra B i n

jrabin@wweek.com

This isn’t the list of the “best” art shows of the year.

Art is nothing if not personal and subjective, so the trick to reading this list is not to take it as an objective truth, but simply to understand what causes certain pieces of art to find a home in one person’s heart and mind.

What these shows have in common is that I am still thinking about them and talking about them many months later. Each one stirred something in me, showed me something I’d never seen before, and became a yardstick against which I compared other artists’ work. These eight artists made a lasting impression on me because their work reminded me why I love seeing art and helped me better understand my place in the world.

David Bray at Stephanie Chefas Projects (Amateur Occult Club, March)

David Bray’s paintings on panel looked like they’d been roughed up by vandals—scratched, tagged with graffiti, written over. Next to one of his simple graceful figures, rendered without dimensionality in black outline, it was not uncommon to see a doodle of, say, Bart Simpson’s head. What I loved most was the lack of preciousness and the punk rock immediacy of the paintings. This carried over from his process, which involved making art with whatever he had on hand, whether it was an old piece of wood, a leftover can of paint, or a marker stolen from a local shop. His imperative to create without any excuses came through in every piece, and I remain inspired by it still.

Sarah Fagan at Blackfish (Hold, October)

The subjects of all of Sarah Fagan’s still life paintings are objects that hold other objects: glass vessels, bowls, envelopes, boxes, paper bags. What moved me about the exhibition was 38

Willamette Week DECEMBER 28, 2016 wweek.com

that you could track Fagan’s progress as she worked her way through the series, which she created during an artist residency. She began by painting bottles filled with small curiosities. As the time of her residency passed, as she became more still and meditative, the trompe l’oeil compositions become more stripped down and spare, resulting in white-on-white paintings of boxes. Not only were the boxes empty, they were flattened and deconstructed, their utility no longer in evidence, their potential to hold anything only an idea.

Joe Rudko at PDX Contemporary (Album, June)

Now that we all carry cameras around in our back pockets, fancying ourselves amateur photographers, fine art photographers are looking for new ways to push the medium.

Photographer Joe Rudko put together a remarkable show for which he didn’t take a single picture. Cutting up vintage snapshots that he says he found in an abandoned shed, he created a series of collage-like compositions that serve as a kind of American scrapbook. While going through all of the photographs, taken by many different people over many decades, he began to see themes emerge—pictures of trees, the ocean during a vacation, the sky—and he built his compositions around them. It seemed to me one of the most beautiful representations of what we all long for, because you can always identify our desires as a culture by what we point our cameras at.

Group show at Upfor

(The Soul of Black Art, September)

Beautifully curated by first-time guest curator and collector John Goodwin, this group show brought tears to my eyes, twice. It tracked the representation of African-Americans in art over the past century, from overtly racist caricature, to journalistic photography that supported racial stereotypes, to the nuanced self-representation of black artists, to work

Sharyll Burroughs at Bronco Gallery

(The N-Word Sessions: Subverting Banalities, September)

Art is one of the most powerful forces for change because some artists have the ability to hold up a mirror to our actions and our mistakes, helping us to construct new paths into the future. Sharyll Burroughs is that kind of artist. For her oneon-one performance, Burroughs sat with each participant, deconstructing the language of racism, challenging us to stare difficult things in the eye. Burroughs’ gift is that she is able to do this while remaining completely present, open, compassionate, and non-judgmental of whatever her work brings up in people. When I look back on that performance, which I do often, I see it as a way forward for all of us.

ellen wishnetsky-Mueller at Jeffrey thomas Fine Art (Material Witness, September)

It is always life-affirming when an artist can distill certain fundamental truths about the natural world. Pairing undulating gossamer textiles and intractable rusted metal, sculptor Ellen Wishnetsky-Mueller created a series of sculptures that referenced everything from celestial bodies to geologic formations. The contrast of the materials embodied the push and pull of the masculine and the feminine, the soft and the hard, the lasting and the ephemeral—offering a view of the universe through its extremes.

But the beauty came from bringing these forces together to show us what balance looks like.

Peter Brown leighton at Blue Sky (Man Lives Through Plutonium Blast, april)

I had to walk through this exhibition twice, and then I had to ask someone who worked at the gallery to explain to me what was going on before I could get my head around it. Photographer Peter Brown Leighton digitally combined images from vintage photographs to create each of his deeply disturbing and hilarious compositions. Some manipulations were quite subtle, requiring multiple viewings to ascertain where Leighton had left his fingerprints, like the image of a 50s-era husband with identical twin sisters perched on the arms of his chair. Were they really two people? Was it the same woman repeated? Others left no doubt about what had been changed or about Leighton’s knack for creating disquieting, post-apocalyptic tableaus that could leave a permanent crack in your perception, like a smiling man gleefully being struck by lightning; a young boy, in his Sunday best, levitating off the church’s altar; or a mushroom cloud in the middle of a city.

BOOKS FEATURE

The Best Thing I Read This Year FROM FICTION TO POETRY TO GENRES WITH NO NAME, LOCAL AUTHORS WEIGH IN ON THEIR FAVORITE BOOKS THEY CRACKED IN 2016.

BY ZAC H M I D D L E TO N

zmiddleton@wweek.com

The Castle Cross the Magnet Carter, by Kia Corthron, took my breath away. Sweeping, epic, it crosses America from 1941 to 2010, following the lives of four men—two white, two black. Corthron has such an exquisite ear, not just for language but the heartbeat of our lives; the delicate way people traverse the world. Her characters are beautifully, complexly rendered. At 789 pages, this is a novel that teaches as much about American history as it does about humanity—our collective ability to create harm as well as joy. This is what they mean by great American literature. The Castle is not just the best book I read all year. It’s one of the best books I’ve ever read.

RENE DENFELD, death penalty investigator, journalist and author of the novel The Enchanted.

I purposefully did not read Vladimir Nabokov’s Lolita for 20 years. I knew the novel told the story (in first person, no less) of a grown man, Humbert Humbert, and his mad quest to possess a preadolescent Lolita, and I felt no desire to enter that world. I thought that I never would. Then, this summer, my partner handed me a well-loved copy of Lolita. “It creeps me out,” I said. He nodded at me and said, “Just let me read you the first page.” Lolita is a cathedral; it is at times the funniest book I’ve ever read and at times the saddest. It shook me and shocked me and made me stay up late to read another chapter. I was so entranced by Nabokov’s language, pacing and general virtuoso ability as a writer that in the end I even believed Humbert Humbert deserved his cathedral.

A.M. O’MALLEY, author of Expecting Something Else,, director of the Independent Publishing Resource Center.

The best thing I read this year was the magisterial, moving, remarkable Masters of the Air,

by Donald L. Miller, about the young American pilots who went to help the Royal Air Force fight the Nazis. It was terrific—as good a history as I’ve read in years. BRIAN DOYLE, novelist, essayist, author of Martin Marten and Children & Other Wild Animals.

Man, if I had to choose just one thing that I read that was crucial and that saved me, especially this fall when nothing seemed to be going the way I’d hoped, when the world turned unpredictable and revealed itself as other despite my usual happy oblivion, that book would be Writings, by the painter Agnes Martin. Her paintings, I suppose, could be understood as a necessary demon-

stration of her words, which are so stark, assertive, abstract, as if arriving out of a lifetime of creative turbulence. At a time when I felt at a loss, surrounded by students who couldn’t figure out why, exactly, we might continue to write, these essays were a reassurance that promised a way out. “Of course we know that an untroubled state of mind cannot last,” Martin writes, “So we say that inspiration comes and goes but really it is there all the time waiting for us to be untroubled again.” PETER ROCK, novelist, author of The Shelter Cycle.

Without question, Seeing Red by Lina Meruane was the best book I read in 2016. I read it in the original Spanish (Sangre en el ojo) but have been assured by trusted sources that the book is just as extraordinary in translation. Meruane, an award-winning novelist and journalist, is an established star of the Spanish-language literary world, but this is her first book to be translated into English. Seeing Red is a precise, gorgeously crafted autofiction that explores illness and disability, and the fears and logic of a person who’s been betrayed by their own body but refuses to take on the role of passive victim. This is a swift, dark, vicious book.

I’ve never read anything quite like it. CARI LUNA, novelist, author of The Revolution of Every Day. Grief Is the Thing With Feathers Feathers, by Max Porter, is the only book this year I have read three times. Part memoir, part essay, and part poetry collection, Max Porter’s first book is marketed as a novel about a father with two sons who have recently and suddenly lost the matriarch of the family. The book begins as the father is visited by a rather large crow that announces, “I won’t leave until you don’t need me any more.” So begins the family’s grieving. Grief Is a Thing With Feathers is mournful, funny, heartbreaking, and ultimately shows the need for one to be creative in order to not be crushed by life’s sadnesses. Time doesn’t heal all wounds here, but the family does grow and change, while the dead, as William Kennedy pointed out in his astonishing book Ironweed, “even more than the living settle down in neighborhoods.” CARL ADAMSHICK, poet, author of Saint Friend and Curses and Wishes.

The title of A.M. O’Malley’s first—and brilliant—book might well serve as a tagline for the disappointment fest that was 2016: Expecting Something Else. Not one sentence in this book disappoints, though. Each line is carefully stacked in neat, centered columns and surrounded by white space, like cordwood in a snowstorm. Yet within each prose poem there’s hardly a punctuation mark to be found. The lines spill and splinter and melt into one another. In lesser hands, going sans punctuation might feel like an affectation, but here the breathless torrents of language effectively mirror the content of O’Malley’s memories: She grew up with a restless, often unmoored mother who moved her repeatedly from state to state and school to school, never settling into the rhythms or boundaries of conventional home life. O’Malley alternately mourns and celebrates her patchwork childhood: “I cut my hair cropped my shirts shortened my skirts I fluffed and fought I kept eloping.” JUSTIN HOCKING, author of The Great Floodgates of the Wonderworld, former director of the IPRC. “Information is the poetry of the people who love war,” writes Anne Boyer in Garments Against Women, a book I read and re-read as evidence for the feelings I didn’t know how to have publicly. Garments is a book beyond classification, which in itself is an act of protest. There’s poetry here, and prose, and criticism, and philosophy. There’s industry and feminism and economics and art. Mostly, there’s Anne, shining the sharp beam of her own mind into the spaces we long to see. “My favorite arts are the ones that can move your body or make a new world,” she writes, and I agree.

This book is the moon: powerful, comforting, illuminating, feminine. I can’t recommend it enough. KELLY SCHIRMANN, poet, essayist, author of Popular Music, co-author of Boyfriend Mountain.

Willamette Week DECEMBER 28, 2016 wweek.com

39

C O U R T E S Y O F L A I K A E N T E R TA I N M E N T

MOVIES GET YO UR R E PS IN

Blade Runner: The Final Cut (1982, 2007)

In Ridley Scott’s ruinous future Los Angeles, Deckard (Harrison Ford) is a detective sent on a mission to track down and kill four replicants: enhanced humans that look really cool. A film with a notorious history of studio meddling, Kiggins is playing Scott’s “final” cut, released in 2007, the only version of the film over which Scott had complete artistic control. I want more cuts, fucker!

Kiggins Theatre. Dec. 30-Jan. 4.

Mavka, Song of the Forest

tum. Turns out, divorced of larger historical context, Judah Ben-Hur’s subjugation as a galley slave works as a training montage, Jesus becomes a coach, and Imperial Rome doubles as USC. The former epic ends up resembling a college football film, just slightly less confusing or religious. JAY HORTON. Most Gimlet-Eyed Use of Drone Strikes: Eye in the Sky This utterly odious movie is uninterested in U.S. foreign policy that occurred more than five minutes ago, presenting the moral argument for drone strikes as coming down to a weepy Jesse Pinkman being aesthetically opposed to evaporating a young girl because he’s not sure that’s how democracy works. Some movie critics praised this film’s intellectual sophistication.

ZACH MIDDLETON.

(1981)

New Year’s Day Hong Kong-A-Thon

The Hollywood is going bonkers on the first day of the year with back-to-back-to-back features of pure mayhem. Kicking things off at 2 pm is Bruce Lee classic Enter the Dragon (1973), in which the legend stars as a kung fu master recruited by an intelligence agency to infiltrate a martial arts tournament on a secret island fortress alongside good guys Roper (John Saxon) and Williams (Jim Kelly). Second, at 4:15 pm, is a flesh-grinding, eye-popping, blood-soaked movie about a young man just trying to make his way out of prison, Riki-Oh: The Story of Ricky (1991). Finally, at 6:15 pm, Chow Yun-Fat stars as a hitman in for one last job in John Woo’s bullet-riddled, religious imagery-filled, explosion-rocked The Killer (1989). Hollywood Theatre. Jan. 1.

Plan 9 From Outer Space (1959)

Ed Wood’s anti-classic about aliens who resurrect humans into zombies to stop them from building a galaxy-destroying superweapon is the first worst movie ever made, posthumously starring Bela Lugosi from footage cut from another film made prior to his death, which is why this movie about aliens and zombies has vampires in it. Academy Theater.

Dec. 30-Jan. 5.

ALSO PLAYING: Academy Theater: Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (1971), Dec. 28-29. Hollywood Theatre: Doublecross on Costa’s Island (1997), 7:30 pm Tuesday, Jan. 3. Laurelhurst: The Simpsons Movie (2007), Dec. 30, Jan. 1-5.

Mission Theater: Die Hard (1988), Dec. 28-29; The Princess Bride (1987), Jan. 1-4 and 6. NW Film Center’s Whitsell Auditorium: The Tales of Hoffmann (1951), 7 pm Wednesday-Thursday, Dec. 28-29; The Red Shoes (1948), 7 pm Friday, Dec. 30.

40

KUBO AND THE TWO STRINGS

The 2016 Screenie Awards HERE’S TO SCREENER’S FAVORITE MOMENTS IN FILM, 2016.

BY WALKER MACMURDO

wmacmurdo@wweek.com

La La Land is probably going to sweep the Academy Awards. Judging by Civil War and Doctor Strange, it looks like Marvel Studios realizes it no longer needs to try to make a billion dollars. Paul Verhoeven is back. The biggest “bests” and “mosts” this year seem more agreed upon than usual, so instead of celebrating that which we already love, WW’s film writers celebrate the goofy idiosyncrasies that stood out in 2016.

Best Pandering to a Fan Base: Terrence Malick This year saw the release of two Terrence Malick epics, Knight of Cups and Voyage of Time. When combined, they cover all of his non-Sean Penn stylistic trademarks: mysterious voice-overs, gorgeous scenery and actors staring soulfully into the distance. If you see flakes of human flesh floating in the air, it’s probably the remains of a Malick geek who spent the year combusting with joy. BENNETT CAMPBELL FERGUSON. Best Attempt to Will a Franchise Back to Prominence by Repeating the Main Character’s Name: Jason Bourne The fifth Bourne film did stop just short of Matt Damon in front of a mirror yelling, “You’re the reformed servant of espionage known to audiences as Jason Bourne! Pull it together, man!” But it did reference the

Willamette Week DECEMBER 28, 2016 wweek.com

man’s full name to a level evoking marionette Damon’s portrayal in Team America: World Police. CHANCE SOLEM-PFEIFER. Best Better-Than-Disney Animation: Kubo and the Two Strings Given the three solid offerings from the Mouse House this year (Zootopia, Moana and Pixar’s Finding Dory), local studio Laika’s Kubo and the Two Strings flew well under the radar. Pity that. Kubo is the best animated film of the year, a rare original tale packed with martial arts, gorgeous stop-motion characters and, more importantly, a story that speaks to subjects like death and aging in a way that doesn’t pander to the sprouts. AP KRYZA. Best Transubstantiation: Ben-Hur Even amid the furious current rush to scavenge the gold teeth from every recognizable cinematic forebear, original action-packed blockbuster Ben-Hur resisted all attempts at a 21st-century reboot due to seemingly insoluble complications—interminable length, discursive exposition, iconic title that sounds like a homophobic taunt—until the divine wisdom of superproducer/ Trump-wrangler Mark Burnett cut the source material in half and kept only those parts building momen-

Best Hope for Future Generations: Zootopia Zootopia aims to teach this generation of Disney audiences that every species should not be stereotyped by where it comes from, bringing hope to every parent that they are not raising America’s future nightmares, but are teaching the importance of equality and understanding.

AMY WOLFE. Most Lovable Flunk of the Bechdel Test: Everybody Wants Some!!

Boys who love chicks who love boys who love sports, as intellectualized by that great intellectualizer of dopey young dudedom, Dick Linklater. But what sucks the most, maybe even more than the fact that “some” refers to sex and might as well be a cognate for “finely groomed, nubile hot girls” is that this was, start to finish, one of the best feel-good flicks of the year. ISABEL ZACHARIAS. Best-Looking Movie About How Women Think by a Male Filmmaker: The Neon Demon Master of color palettes black, peach and violet, Nicolas Winding-Refn (Drive) seems to think women will fuck, kill and eat one another to appease Hollywood’s gatekeepers. Whether a grim commentary on patriarchal obsession with youth and beauty or a gold-smeared, horndog fantasy, The Neon Demon sure is pretty.

WALKER MACMURDO. Best Irish New Wave Fairy Tale: Sing Street Pleasantly fusing The Breakfast Club’s ’80s angst and the naive optimism of Almost Famous, Sing Street is the feel-good movie of 2016. If you have any nostalgia for the heyday of Duran Duran, the Cure and Back to the Future, this is a Netflix must-see. NATHAN CARSON. Best Movie for Changing the Way You Think About “Jingle Bells”: The Handmaiden After watching lovers Lady Hideko (Min-hee Kim) and Sook-Hee (Tae-ri Kim) get imaginative with a pair of baoding balls, Christmas will be the last thing on your mind.

LAUREN TERRY. COURTESY OF UNIVERSAL PICTURES

In a classic story of boy meets water spirit, Mavka, a nymph, falls in love with country boy Lukash. But as with all spirit-mortal relationships, it is doomed to fail when their love disturbs the balance between the worlds human and divine. Yuri Ilyenko’s tragedy is part of the Ukrainian poetic cinema movement, dreamy flicks inspired by traditional folk tales in sharp contrast to the socialist realism required by Soviet censors of the day. Church of Film (North Star Ballroom). 8 pm Wednesday, Dec. 28.

Jason Bourne

DECEMBER 21-23 WHITSELL AUDITORIUM

L’Argent = WW Pick. Highly recommended.

Editor: WALKER MACMURDO. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, send screening information at least two weeks in advance to Screen, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210.

Email: wmacmurdo@wweek.com. Fax: 243-1115.

the best combination of well-written ranting and genuine alienation in a high school comedy since Easy A. R. Laurelhurst.

Elle

An innocent man forced to become the criminal he is falsely accused of being

A- By stripping away both the kid-

STILL SHOWING The Accountant

C Ben Affleck stars as an autistic and brutal serial murderer who’s somehow also the hero. Must’ve been a stretch. R. Academy, Avalon, Jubitz, Kennedy School, Laurelhurst, Valley, Vancouver.

Allied

B+ A clumsy, yet irresistible WWII thriller in which a wooden Brad Pitt and a theatrical Marion Cotillard fuck in a sandstorm. R. Academy, Laurelhurst.

Arrival

A Arrival inspires because of sor-

rowful linguist Louise Banks (Amy Adams), who enters a spaceship hovering above Montana shrouded in grief but still has compassion for both aliens and humanity. PG-13.

Cedar Hills, Eastport, Fox Tower.

Assassin’s Creed

B The best line in this lurid, noisy adaptation of the best-selling video game series about time-traveling assassins comes from Callum Lynch (Michael Fassbender): “What the fuck is going on?” It’s a fair question.

PG-13. Bridgeport, Cedar Hills, City Center, Clackamas, Division, Eastport, Fox Tower, Lloyd, Oak Grove, Tigard, Vancouver.

Bleed for This

It’s Oscar season, and you know what that means: Hollywood’s annual movie about boxing. This time it’s the story of Vinny Pazienza (Miles Teller), the world champion boxer whose career was derailed in the early ’90s by a bad car crash. R. Vancouver.

The Brand New Testament

B God as a bitter, drunken father

who spends his days typing away at a desktop computer, compiling an

ongoing list of sadistically Seinfeldian annoyances to force upon humanity in this sacrilegious Golden Globe-nominated satire. NR. Living Room Theaters.

Captain Fantastic

A Viggo Mortensen is mud-splat-

tered, idealistic and good at killing things…again. But this time with six kids in tow. R. Laurelhurst.

Collateral Beauty

C- If you’re a sucker for Love

Actually and enjoy your films ending in a perfectly heartwarming, holidaythemed red bow, Collateral Beauty is your ticket, albeit with depressing twists and dark turns. PG-13.

Bridgeport, Cedar Hills, City Center, Clackamas, Division, Eastport, Fox Tower, Lloyd, Oak Grove, Tigard, Vancouver.

Deepwater Horizon

C+ How do you make a movie about the worst oil disaster in U.S. history? If you’re director Peter Berg (Lone Survivor), you condense an environmentally devastating oil spill into an incoherent action blowout starring Mark Wahlberg. PG-13.

Vancouver.

Doctor Strange

B+ Thanks to director Scott Derrickson’s confidently superficial storytelling, this film’s imagery has a dizzying power. PG-13. Clackamas, Division, Eastport, Empirical, Valley.

gloves and exploitative approaches to sexual violence, Paul Verhoeven and Isabelle Huppert have crafted a grimly humorous but life-affirming portrait of strength and survivorship.

R. Cinema 21.

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them

MORE INFO AT NWFILM.ORG

C J.K. Rowling’s reboot of the

Harry Potter saga is meant to be spirited and suspenseful, but the cast has no chemistry, and the beastinduced mayhem looks tacky. PG-13.

Bridgeport, Cedar Hills, City Center, Clackamas, Division, Eastport, Lloyd, Pioneer Place, Tigard, Vancouver.

Fences

A- Denzel Washington swings for the fences with his adaptation of August Wilson’s Pulitzer Prizewinning play about a struggling African-American blue-collar family in 1950s Pittsburgh, hitting a home run and, uh, stealing third base?

PG-13. Bridgeport, Cedar Hills, City Center, Clackamas, Division, Eastport, Fox Tower, Hollywood, Living Room Theaters, Lloyd, Tigard, Vancouver.

The Girl on the Train

Tate Taylor’s adaptation of Paula Hawkins’ best-selling novel stars Emily Blunt as a divorced alcoholic who witnesses an incident in her neighbors’ house. R. Academy, Kennedy School, Laurelhurst, Valley.

A- Set in the wilderness of Mongolia, this astounding documentary follows a 13-year-old Kazakh girl who hunts with the help of a golden eagle. PG-13. Fox Tower.

The Edge of Seventeen

The Handmaiden

B+ As Nadine, Hailee Steinfeld

delivers one winsome tirade after another, and she never sells short simple adolescent growing pains. It’s

C I S MU

Hacksaw Ridge

C A morally repugnant bloodbath, this would-be epic stares into the maw of World War II through the eyes of combat medic Desmond Doss (Andrew Garfield), who rescued dozens of his comrades at Okinawa—without ever firing a gun.

R. Academy, Division.

The Eagle Huntress

#wweek #wweek

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41

MOVIES Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children

B+ Loved the gunfights and the misanthropic cowboy glamour of No Country for Old Men, but maybe Javier Bardem’s haircut made you uncomfortable? Try Jeff Bridges’ new Western genre vehicle. R. Jubitz, Laurelhurst.

B- Tim Burton’s adaptation of Ransom Riggs’ young adult best-seller nearly ignores the dull business of storytelling altogether via expository plot dumps crumpled in between ever more fantastical evocations of ghoulish Victoriana. PG-13. Academy, Avalon, Valley.

Jack Reacher: Never Go Back

Miss Sloane

Hell or High Water

B-

Blending fantastical stunts (Reacher can punch through windshields and, perhaps, fly) with off-kilter humor, Never Go Back approximates a brutalist take on the Marvel tropes.

PG-13. Vancouver.

A

Jessica Chastain stars as badass D.C. lobbyist Elizabeth Sloane, who defends a new gun control bill against political opponents who threaten her career and the people she cares about. R. Fox Tower.

Moana

Jackie

Aided by Mica Levi’s ghostly string score, Pablo Larrain’s peppering in of archival news footage from the time, and Portman’s most spectacular performance yet, this film is less an isolated Jackie Kennedy biopic than a dark and conceptual statement on how the American people classifies, experiences and remembers historic tragedies. R. Cedar Hills, Fox Tower, Tigard, Vancouver.

La La Land

A For some reason, many “cool, smart” film dorks have decided that Damien Chazelle’s gorgeous modernization of golden-era musicals is bad. Fuck them. La La Land is funny, poignant and as charming as they come. PG-13.

Bridgeport, Cedar Hills, City Center, Clackamas, Fox Tower, Lloyd, Vancouver.

Lion

Dev Patel (Slumdog Millionaire) plays an adopted orphan who ventures from Australia to India to track down his family, from whom he was separated in a train station as a child. R. Bridgeport, Clackamas, Fox Tower.

Loving A-

The true story of Richard (Joel Edgerton) and Mildred Loving (Ruth Negga), the interracial couple who challenged U.S. miscegenation laws all the way to the Supreme Court, Loving emits slow, relaxed scenes that rely on touch rather than dialogue to illustrate the Lovings’ palpable tenderness.

PG-13. Living Room Theaters.

A Man Called Ove

Hannes Holm adapts Fredrik Backman’s best-selling novel of the same name, in which a shitty old Swedish guy befriends a young family who moves in next door. Zany life lessons are learned all around. PG-13.

Laurelhurst.

Manchester by the Sea

Moonlight

Naomi Watts stars as a psychologist whose husband is killed and teenage son is left brain dead by a catastrophic car accident. When a deadly winter storm hits her isolated home, she comes to believe an intruder is trying to harm her and her son. PG-13.

Vancouver.

Sing

C+ If you’ve been yearning for Seth MacFarlane to play a mouse who sings like Sinatra, this is your movie. PG. Beaverton Wunderland, Bridgeport, Cedar Hills, City Center, Clackamas, Division, Eastport, Living Room Theaters, Lloyd, Milwaukie, Oak Grove, Pioneer Place, St. Johns Twin Cinema & Pub, Tigard, Vancouver.

Storks

Hilarity ensues when delivery stork Junior (Andy Samberg) is tasked to deliver an unauthorized baby to a family. PG. Avalon, Empirical, Vancouver.

A Moonlight follows Chiron, played by three different actors, coming of age over two decades on the rough Liberty City blocks of 1980s Miami. If you haven’t seen this film yet, do so: It’s probably going to get screwed at the Oscars, but it’s among the year’s absolute best. R. Cinema 21, Hollywood.

Suicide Squad

C- Suicide Squad rushes through an incoherent two hours of superhero mayhem, pureeing everything into a slush of clichés. PG-13. Vancouver.

Bright Lights, Broad City

Nocturnal Animals

Sully

Creator Alicia J. Rose preps season 2 of critically adored PDX web-com The Benefits of Gusbandry.

Susan Morrow (Amy Adams), the successful owner of an art gallery, receives a disturbing manuscript from her ex-husband (Jake Gyllenhaal) as her second marriage falls apart. R. Cinema 21.

Office Christmas Party

B- The smartest move in the latest story by Jon Lucas (The Hangover trilogy) is to focus on the innately funny interactions within the insular world of a run-of-the-mill data storage company. The second is an ultimatum to charm a big client, plus a cocainefueled snow machine. R. Bridgeport, Cedar Hills, Clackamas, Division, Eastport, Fox Tower, Oak Grove, Tigard, Vancouver.

Passengers

C When a malfunction in Chris Pratt’s hibernation pod leaves him awake and alone decades early on a 120-year space voyage, he decides to wake up Jennifer Lawrence for companionship, telling her that her pod malfunctioned as well. This is very creepy when you think about it. PG-13. Bridgeport, Cedar Hills, Cinemagic, City Center, Clackamas, Division, Eastport, Lloyd, Oak Grove, Pioneer Place, St. Johns Pub and Theater, Tigard, Vancouver.

Rogue One: A Star Wars Story

C-

Clint Eastwood’s worst movie since 2011’s J. Edgar, his tale of Chesley “Sully” Sullenberger’s 2009 emergency landing of a commercial jetliner in the Hudson River is weighed down by too many familiar actors and rote dialogue. PG-13. Vancouver.

Things to Come

B+ Mia Hansen-Løve’s sleepy French drama about the crumbling life of a middle-aged academic (Isabelle Huppert) captures the jaggedness and inconsistency of daily life. PG-13. Living Room Theaters.

Trolls

B+ Poppy (Anna Kendrick), the bubbly leader of the troll community, and Branch (Justin Timberlake), a serial pessimist, must save a handful of their goofy friends from ending up as troll soufflé on the dinner table of the Bergens—ugly giants that suffer from depression. PG. Academy, Avalon, Kennedy School, Laurelhurst, Valley.

Why Him?

C+ I ask this question every time James Franco is cast in a comedy, too.

R. Bridgeport, Cedar Hills, City Center, Clackamas, Division, Eastport, Lloyd, Oak Grove, Pioneer Place, Tigard, Vancouver.

A

The best Star Wars film since The Empire Strikes Back, this gritty spinoff brings a depth of humanity to the galaxy that the series hadn’t ever seen.

PG-13. Bagdad, Bridgeport, Cedar

For more Movies listings, visit

La La Land 42

HOTSEAT

Shut-In

C O U R T E S Y O F L I O N S G AT E

B- How do you start over when your transgressions refuse to stay buried? According to director Kenneth Lonergan, you don’t, and that denial is one of too many reasons Manchester by the Sea, while admirably toughminded, is also a drag. R. Bridgeport, Cedar Hills, City Center, Clackamas, Fox Tower, Hollywood.

B+ If you were curious whether Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson could carry a tune, Moana is a ringing affirmative. PG. Bridgeport, Cedar Hills, Clackamas, Division, Eastport, Lloyd, Oak Grove, Pioneer Place, Tigard, Vancouver.

Hills, City Center, Clackamas, Division, Eastport, Lloyd, Milwaukie, Moreland, Oak Grove, Pioneer Place, Roseway, St. Johns Twin Cinema & Pub, Tigard, Vancouver.

COURTESY OF THE BENEFITS OF GUSBANDRY

constructed film whose celebration of perversity is among the most artful you’ll see. R. Laurelhurst.

Willamette Week DECEMBER 28, 2016 wweek.com

BFFS: Kurt Conroyd and Brooke Totman.

Trending heavenward from the very start of its six-episode, 77-minute premiere 2016 season, The Benefits of Gusbandry is a net-based faux romcom about a Portland woman and her gay best friend (“gusband,” in the show’s lingo). It has amassed rave reviews from mainstream press across the country, including Paste, Out, The New York Times and Entertainment Weekly’s “Must List.”

Shortly afterward, Gusbandry tore through the major Southern festivals (Austin, New Orleans, Nashville, Miami) as a conquering hero. Following a 150 percent return on November’s $25,000 crowdfunding campaign goals, the series began readying pre-production for new episodes to stream on Seed & Spark and Amazon Prime in late spring 2017. Here’s an excerpt from our full Q&A with Gusbandry showrunner-creator Alicia J. Rose, which you can read in full at wweek.com. JAY HORTON.

WW: So, the show’s fully funded…

Alicia J. Rose: Oh my God, crowdfunding is hell. Especially when you start a week after the election, which is something I wouldn’t wish on anybody. At first it felt like a struggle, but the last couple of days were pretty exciting. So much happened. Probably 60 or 70 people gave $5, they gave $50, they gave $500. When you think about what’s going on and all the places where people want to give money, especially like the ACLU or Planned Parenthood, it was pretty cool that people wanted to help us make more art, you know?

It was amazing. All my friends put up with me in such beautiful ways. The cool thing was that my peers contributed. A lot of local musicians who are my friends were part of it. Then, I think Bob Mould won the [early crowdfunder prize] gift basket delivered by Brooke [Totman, who plays Gusbandry main character Jackie].

We’ll probably just take a video of her bringing it to the post office in her pajamas.

Do you qualify for tax credits through the state’s incentive program?

There’s no way we’re going to be able to crowdfund $75,000 right now. That’s really unrealistic. We’re so, so microbudget that we wouldn’t qualify. There needs to be bigger money or different money coming in on a higher level. I definitely see the next level of the show being in line for that, but we’re just trying to keep this as simple and lean as humanly possible right now.

We’re trying to prove ourselves. We’re locally made. So many women are involved in the production. We have a super-diverse cast and crew. We’re just trying to do something special in a city that is known for things like that. We want to make something fucking hilarious and awesome and refreshing that doesn’t dumb down the quotient of our entertainment. We’re doing it all on a shoestring with the incredible, generous support of basically all of our friends and a few fans of the show. We’re the little show that could!

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WHAT COLORADO AND WASHINGTON CANNABIS HAVE THAT WE DON’T.

BY L AUR E N T E R RY

@LaurenYTerry

Inside Oregon’s recreational marijuana dispensaries, you’ll find some of the finest flower, concentrates, edibles and topicals anywhere.

Although the variety is hindered by the current testing backlog, the products available are light years beyond the likes of street merchandise 10 years ago.

Once you leave the shop, things aren’t so great in Oregon. If you head up to Washington—or, better yet, over to Colorado—you have far more options for enjoying your high.

If the three states with established recreational cannabis programs were siblings, Colorado would be the driven eldest child. Colorado has been bold with its laws; it was the first state to truly legalize, and is currently developing the first-ever permits for areas where smoking in public is allowed. Washington is the mild-tempered middle sibling, following cautiously—lower limits on what you can buy and a more conservative approach to policy revisions. But both have more liberal laws than cautious, demure Oregon.

The devil, they say, is in the details. As we enter a year in which more states are crafting their own rules for the post-prohibition world, we wanted to look at the specifics that have a profound effect on cannabis enthusiasts’ actual experiences.

Labs

The messiness of Oregon’s lab certification and holdups due to impossibly strict pesticide analysis have formed a cloud of doubt over our state’s ability to remain a leader in the nation’s cannabis revolution. But that’s largely because of the high standards we set for ourselves while establishing basic medical cannabis testing standards back in October 2013. Although Washington and Colorado legalized before us, we had a broad network of labs at work by the time they opened their first rec shops. Colorado didn’t require medical product to be tested by certified labs until June 2016, and is just now catching up to us with deeper pesticide analyses for rec and med product.

Hours

Oregon law permits marijuana shops to be open from 7 am to 10 pm, catering to early tokers.

Though Denver set a citywide closing time of 7

pm, state laws in Colorado and Washington allow retail shops to operate from 8 am to midnight.

Edibles limits

Washington and Colorado have higher potency limits for edibles than Oregon. While we may buy up to 50 milligrams in one item, Washington allows 100 mg edibles, and in Colorado, non-residents can walk out with an edible containing up to 200 mg.

Public smoking

In Washington, cannabis is still illegal to consume in public places or anywhere people are employed. The state’s not quite as strict as we are, though. If a hotel allows it, and if you’re staying in a smoking-friendly room, you can toke away. The same goes for Colorado, and you can smoke on the balcony if it’s out of public view. In Oregon, you have no such rights.

Besides the excitement around Colorado’s Prop 300 that permits certain restaurants, bars and other social spaces to have bring-your-ownmarijuana smoking patios, you can also legally smoke in a limo.

Right now, if you hire a private company that allows it, such as Mile High Limo Tours, you can blaze, dab and spliff it around Denver in the back of the limo.

Delivery

Thankfully, recent developments regarding marijuana deliveries in Portland prove that we aren’t total prudes—neither Colorado nor Washington permit recreational marijuana deliveries, though plenty of posts of Craigslist say otherwise.

The Portland City Council made revisions to recreational marijuana licences mid-December, adding an entity called “marijuana retail couriers.”

These couriers would have limits to their hours of operation and regulations on the location of headquarters similar to those for dispensaries, but rules would even allow them to deliver to residences closer than 1,000 feet to schools. These couriers can only deliver products within city limits, and there will be a limit on the hours of operation. Commissioner Amanda Fritz, who proposed this ordinance, described this new license as a way for “microbusiness entrepreneurs” to survive the complicated and often expensive process toward Oregon Liquor Control Commission retail certification.

Potlander newsletter Sign up to receive the latest cannabis news, events and more at wweek.com/follow-us

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20 “The Zoo Story” dramatist 21 As of this time 22 Look to be

23 Spock’s dominant feature 26 Blow the socks off 28 One of many on a serialized TV show 32 Indiana-Illinois border river 37 James Bond novelist Fleming 38 Capitol Hill figures, slangily 40 Mythical monster that’s part woman, part serpent 41 25% of property to play in?

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Heep 46 Stir-fry ingredient 47 Number that looks like itself repeated, when expressed in binary 48 Insect with two pairs of wings 50 Maintenance sign 53 Jacques or Jeanne, par exemple 55 Scuba spot 56 The “Y” in YSL 60 Sweater, say 62 Deck that all episodes of Hulu’s “Shut Eye” are named after

Down 1 ___ Men (“Who Let the Dogs Out” group) 2 Flashy gem 3 Flower bed planting 4 Titular TV attorney of the ‘90s-’00s 5 “Now I understand!”

6 Big guffaw 7 Just say yes 8 “Bridesmaids” producer Judd 9 “Batman Forever” star Kilmer 10 Cultural periods 11 Gain altitude 12 Withstand 13 Pillow cover 18 “Dogs” 19 Drops in the grass 24 Mature 25 Angry bull’s sound 27 Pedestrian path 28 Excite, as curiosity 29 Dern of “Jurassic Park” 30 Lighted sign at a radio station 31 Be rude in a crowd 33 Howl at the moon 34 Cremona

violinmaking family name 35 It’ll make you pull over 36 “I ___ thought about it” 39 Late “60 Minutes” reporter Morley 42 Bitterly cold 43 Watered-down 44 Like a litter of puppies 49 City where the Batmobile is driven 51 “The Jerk” actress Bernadette 52 “Bearing gifts, we traverse ___” 54 Use blades on blades 56 Affirmative votes 57 Crawling with creepers 58 Frittata needs 59 Chance 61 Destroys, as bubble wrap 63 MLB stat, incorrectly but commonly 64 “... ___ I’m told” 65 Bagpipers’ caps 67 One less than quattro 68 “Yeah” opposite 69 D20 or D8, in D&D games

last week’s answers

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Week of December 29

ARIES (March 21-April 19) Donatello was a renowned Italian sculptor. His favorite piece was “Lo Zuccone,” a marble statue of the Biblical prophet Habakkuk. As Donatello carved his work-inprogress, he addressed it. “Speak, damn you! Talk to me,” he was heard to say on more than a few occasions. Did the stone respond? Judging from the beauty of the final product, I’d have to say yes. One art critic testified that “Lo Zuccone” is a “sublimely harrowing” tour de force, a triumph of “forceful expression,” and “one of the most important marble sculptures of the 15th century.” I suspect you will have Donatello-like powers of conversation in 2017, Aries. If anyone can communicate creatively with stones -- and rivers and trees and animals and spirits and complicated humans, for that matter -- it’ll be you.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20) According to Japanese novelist Haruki Murakami, “A certain type of perfection can only be realized through a limitless accumulation of the imperfect.” Let’s amend that thought so it’s exactly suitable for your use in 2017.

Here’s the new, Taurus-specific version: “A messy, practical, beautiful type of perfection can be realized through a patient, faithful, dogged accumulation of the imperfect.”

To live up to the promise of this motto, make damn good use of every partial success.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20) Gemini gymnast Marisa Dick has created a signature move that has never been used by any other gymnast.

To start her routine, she leaps up off a springboard and lands on the balance beam doing a full split. The technical term for this bold maneuver is “a change-leg leap to free-cross split sit,” although its informal name is “The Dick Move.” The International Federation of Gymnastics has certified it in its Code of Points, so it’s official. During the coming months, I expect that you will also produce one-of-a-kind innovations in your own sphere.

CANCER (June 21-July 22) I hope you will be as well-grounded in 2017 as you have ever been -- maybe even since your past life as a farmer. I trust you will go a long way toward mastering the arts of being earthy, practical, and stable. To do this right, however, you should also work on a seemingly paradoxical task: cultivating a vigorous and daring imagination -- as perhaps you did in one of your other past lives as an artist. In other words, your ability to succeed in the material world will thrive as you nurture your relationship with fantasy realms -- and vice versa. If you want to be the boss of reality, dream big and wild -- and vice versa.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22) Even if you don’t think of yourself as an artist, you are always working on a major art project: yourself. You may underestimate the creativity you call on as you shape the raw material of your experience into an epic story. Luckily, I’m here to impress upon you the power and the glory of this heroic effort. Is there anything more important?

Not for you Leos. And I trust that in 2017 you will take your craftsmanship to the highest level ever. Keep this advice from author Nathan W. Morris in mind: “Edit your life frequently and ruthlessly. It’s your masterpiece, after all.”

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) French painter Henri Matisse (1869-1954) turned out to be one of the supremely influential artists of the 20th century. But he was still struggling to make a living well into his thirties. The public’s apathy toward his work demoralized him. At one point, he visited his dealer to reclaim one of his unsold paintings. It was time to give up on it, he felt, to take it off the market. But when he arrived at the gallery, his dealer informed him that it had finally been bought -- and not by just any art collector, either. Its new owner was Pablo Picasso, an artist whom Matisse revered. I think it’s quite possible you will have comparable experiences in 2017, Virgo. Therefore: Don’t give up on yourself!

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) “The self in exile remains the self, as a bell unstruck for years is still a bell,” writes poet Jane Hirshfield. I suspect that these words are important for you to hear as you prepare for 2017. My sense is that in the past few months, your true self has been making its way back to the heart of life after a time of wandering on the outskirts. Any day now, a long-silent bell will start ringing to herald your full return. Welcome home!

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) In accordance with your astrological omens for 2017, I’ve taken a poem that Shel Silverstein wrote for kids and made it into your horoscope. It’ll serve as a light-hearted emblem of a challenging but fun task you should attend to in the coming months. Here it is: “I’ve never washed my shadow out in all the time I’ve had it. It was absolutely filthy I supposed, so I peeled it off the wall where it was leaning and stuck it in the washtub with the clothes.

I put in soap and bleach and stuff. I let it soak for hours.

I wrung it out and hung it out to dry. And whoever would have thunk that it would have gone and shrunk, for now it’s so much littler than I.” SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) Walk your wisdom walk in 2017, Sagittarius. Excite us with your wisdom songs and gaze out at our broken reality with your wisdom eyes. Play your wisdom tricks and crack your wisdom jokes and erupt with your wisdom cures. The world needs you to be a radiant swarm of lovable, unpredictable wisdom! Your future needs you to conjure up a steady stream of wisdom dreams and wisdom exploits! And please note: You don’t have to wait until the wisdom is perfect. You shouldn’t worry about whether it’s supremely practical. Your job is to trust your wisdom gut, to unleash your wisdom cry, to revel in your wisdom magic.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) As I was ruminating on your astrological omens for 2017, I came across a wildly relevant passage written by Rabbi Tzvi Freeman. It conveys a message I encourage you to memorize and repeat at least once a day for the next 365 days. Here it is: “Nothing can hold you back -- not your childhood, not the history of a lifetime, not even the very last moment before now. In a moment you can abandon your past. And once abandoned, you can redefine it. If the past was a ring of futility, let it become a wheel of yearning that drives you forward. If the past was a brick wall, let it become a dam to unleash your power.”

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) Naturalist John Muir regarded nature as his church. For weeks at a time he lived outdoors, communing with the wilderness. Of course he noticed that not many others shared his passion. “Most people are on the world, not in it,” he wrote, “having no conscious sympathy or relationship to anything about them -- undiffused, separate, and rigidly alone like marbles of polished stone, touching but separate.” Is there anything about you that even partially fits that description, Aquarius? If so, I’m pleased to inform you that 2017 will be an excellent year to address the problem. You will have immense potential to become more intimate and tender with all of the component parts of the Great Mystery. What’s the opposite of loneliness?

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20) Seven Chilean poets were frustrated by their fellow citizens’ apathy toward the art of poetry. They sarcastically dramatized their chagrin by doing a performance for baboons. Authorities at the Santiago Zoo arranged for the poets’ safety, enclosing them in a protective cage within the baboons’ habitat. The audience seemed to be entertained, at times listening in rapt silence and at other times shrieking raucously. I’m sure you can empathize with the poets’ drastic action, Pisces. How many times have you felt you don’t get the appreciation you deserve?

But I bet that will change in 2017. You won’t have to resort to performing for baboons.

Homework If you’d like to enjoy my books, music, and videos without spending any money, go here: http://bit.ly/LiberatedGifts.

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Check Out Our Facebook Page for Give Aways

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OMMP CARDHOLDERS GET 25% DISCOUNT!

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Pizza Delivery

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