43.06 - Willamette Week, December 7, 2016

THE MASTER OF TENTACLE PORN P. 21

A FAST-ACTING CURE FOR BEING TOO STONED? P. 42

IF YOU’RE AN IMMIGRANT, DON’T SCREW UP. P. 9

WILLAMETTE WEEK PORTLAND’S NEWSWEEKLY

HOLIDAY GIFT GUIDE INSIDE!

T S O M E TH

S U O R E G DANAN IN PORTLAND WOM

WWEEK.COM

VOL 43/06 12 .7. 2016

R OF RENTERS

THE POWE G IN S S E N R A H IS MARGOT BLACK CITY. PAGE 12 TO CHANGE THIS ONAHAN

BY RACHEL M

ROBERTS

&

BAD BEHAVIORS

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How Jeeves became well mannered.

Jeeves is a good boy, although he wasn’t always that way. Not that he was a bad dog —no dogs are bad dogs— but he, and his companions, needed a little help.

That’s where Tanya Roberts comes in. She’s one of Oregon Humane Society’s many animal training experts, and whatever behavior problem you have, they can help. Want to teach your puppy basic manners? A kitty that seems to go everywhere but the litterbox? We can can help you solve it.

Jeeves and OHS Trainer Tanya Roberts

Whether you adopted from us or not, the Oregon Humane Society offers classes, training and a FREE help line that you can call to figure out why the heck your pet is acting that way. FIND OUT MORE oregonhumane.org/jeeves

OREGON, THE BEST PLACE TO BE A PET LOVE TO THE RESCUE Animal compassion begins with Officer Wallace, who serves as a Humane Special Agent for the state of Oregon. He and the rest of the team investigate thousands of abuse and neglect reports each year.

These highly trained officers crisscross the state to find justice for animals.

They also help pet owners who may not have enough resources. They’ll tell the down-on-his-luck farmer about the hay bank so that his horse will have plenty to eat. They’ll talk to a dog owner about the importance of shade, water, and shelter—and then mention the weekly food bank down the street.

CARING FOR BODY AND SOUL OHS partners with Oregon State University’s College of Veterinary Medicine, where students learn about the physiology of animals and the relationship between a pet and its owner. They learn the unique needs of low-income pet owners, the factors that cause people to give their pets up, and how to spot abuse and neglect.

They care for the animals and their companions.

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Willamette Week DECEMBER 7, 2016 wweek.com

Take the case of Milagro the Miracle Kitty, who was After his rescue, Milagro spent his evenings snuggled found cold, starving and seemingly dead in a storage in the lap of his owner Joanne, safe and warm in his unit. Dr. Kris Otteman, however, saw the life in him and Forever Home. spent months nursing and loving him back to health.

A RISING TIDE OF LOVE When you get right down to it, the reason that Oregon is the best place for pets is that Oregonians love and honor animals.

MORE THAN ADOPTIONS Animal Rescue Cruelty Investigations Behavior Training Veterinary Care Statewide Advocacy

It’s working with state legislators to pass laws that reflect that belief. It’s teaching veterinarians who can bring that to every animal—and person—they encounter. It’s the person who cares enough to notice that a dog down the street looks a little too thin, a little too sick—and picks up the phone to call the OHS Investigations hotline.

They all form an interconnecting web of love, each one of them, and you do, too. Thank you, Oregonians, from the pets and people of the Oregon Humane Society. oregonhumane.org

Advertising space donated by Willamette Week. Creative services donated by Leopold Ketel.

OHS TRAINER

christine dong

FINDINGS

PagE 17

WHAT WE LEARNED FROM READING THIS WEEK’S PAPER VOL. 43, ISSUE 6.

Weaponizing a drone is now

against state law, even if you don’t fire it. 4 Because cops are weird with technology, it now takes $30 and four months to get a basic police report. 11

Portland now has a Big Lebowski pinball cabinet and a Santa who wears a Big Lebowski sweater. 19 Octopus porn dates to at least 1814. 21

Legendary Portland cartoonist

If you would like a cocktail made by combining rum and coconut La Croix, there is a place. 33

John Callahan and legendary Portland hardcore band Poison Idea will both get the movie treatment. 18

If you’re down with Harambe, there is an event you might want to protest at Powell’s this week. 38

ON THE COVER: HOLIDAY GIFT GUIDE INSIDE!

Photo by Joe riedl.

THE MASTER OF TENTACLE PORN P. 21

A FAST-ACTING CURE FOR BEING TOO STONED? P. 42

IF YOU’RE AN IMMIGRANT, DON’T SCREW UP. P. 9

WILLAMETTE WEEK

OUR MOST TRAFFICKED STORY ONLINE THIS WEEK:

Oregon has had the most reported hate crimes since the election.

THE MOST

OUS DANANGER IN PORTLAND WOM

HARNESSING THE MARGOT BLACK ISCITY. PAGE 12 TO CHANGE THIS

POWER OF RENTERS

ONAHAN

BY RACHEL M

STAFF Editor & Publisher Mark Zusman EdItOrIaL News Editor Aaron Mesh Arts & Culture Editor Martin Cizmar Staff Writers Nigel Jaquiss, Rachel Monahan, Beth Slovic Copy Chief Rob Fernas Copy Editors Matt Buckingham, Maya McOmie Stage Editor Shannon Gormley Screen Editor Walker MacMurdo Projects Editor Matthew Korfhage Music Editor Matthew Singer

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Willamette Week DECEMBER 7, 2016 wweek.com

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LESBIANS AND IDENTITY POLITICS

I would have loved to weigh in on this article.

There are so many ways this story could have I don’t appreciate the narrow slant suggesting been presented, and yet it prioritized the stories that people use the term “queer” instead of “lesof white women whose feelings have been hurt bian” because they are afraid of offending people by cultural shifts within queer spaces [“Who within the queer community.

The reason I’ve identified my parties Sugar Crushed the Lesbian Bars?” WW, Nov. 30, 2016].

If these shifts were unwarranted and not in Town and Queer Country Junction as “queer” demand, there wouldn’t be such a plethora of and not “lesbian” is not because I’m afraid of successful, packed and popular parties to attend. offending. It’s because I want to be inclusive of my entire community. Inclusivity To somehow present that there is where the current generation has are no spaces for lesbians to find other differed from previous generations. I lesbians at a bar, instead of choosing to present the many popular events want my LGBTQ community to be a that are abundantly diverse and true community, rather than a bunch of letters bunched together, because inclusive, is a huge disappointment we’ve traditionally been viewed by to my community. These shifts and who crushed mainstream society as deviants. changes are very positive. I stood in the lesbian bars? a line around the block for two hours —DJ Action Slacks to get into Lez Do It on Pride weekend last June, and to hear a queer CORRECTIONS “The fact black woman rapper perform.

An item in last week’s Murmurs that you incorrectly stated that City Auditor I know plenty of women who prioritized identify as lesbian who attend these Mary Hull Caballero wants the City nights, and they find dates. Nothing Council to give up its authority to white about these events says that lesbians set her budget. The charter change, women are unwelcome or can’t attend. if approved, would mean her office who want This story chose to highlight wouldn’t go through budget exerexclusive white fragility. It conveys that cises set by the mayor. spaces is people who want inclusive spaces The item also stated that Hull Caballero sought to hire lawyers for are becoming overly reactive to inherently her office; her proposal is to seek lesbian-only events and crazy about racist.” outside legal advice. Moreover, it their “identity politics,” yet women who don’t feel comfortable in these inclusive and stated imprecisely that she didn’t want the next mayor to set the Independent Police Review’s popular spaces are totally justified.

The fact that you prioritized white women budget. Her proposal actually seeks budget indewho want exclusive spaces, instead of people pendence from the police commissioner, who is who represent diversity and inclusiveness, is typically the mayor. WW regrets the errors. extremely gross, inherently racist, and pathetic.

LETTERS TO THE EDITOR must include the author’s —Clara Parnell WILLAMETTE WEEK

An embattled ART GALLERY OWNER lands in Portland.

P. 9

Breakfast picks for PINE STREET MARKET. p. 23

Why some CANNABIS GROWERS are going back to the BLACK MARKET. p. 43

“YOU THINK IT’S OK NOT TO PAY YOUR ARTISTS?!” P. 9

WOMEN SEEKING WOMEN ARE ENTERING A NEW MINEFIELD OF IDENTITY POLITICS. PAGE 12

BY ELLENA ROSENTHAL

WWEEK.COM

VOL 43/05 11.30.2016

As a lesbian/queer who has been throwing successful queer parties in Portland for five years,

street address and phone number for verification.

Letters must be 250 or fewer words.

Submit to: 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210.

Email: mzusman@wweek.com.

WW’s Holiday Gift Guide recommends the Phantom 4 drone for aerial photography. I’d love to fly one over downtown, maybe peek in a few high-rise windows. Are there any laws governing where drones can be flown and what they can photograph? —Top Gun The problem with drones is that when you ask 100 guys what they’d do if they had one, one says, “Revolutionize search and rescue,” two say, “Take stunning aerial photographs of nature,” and 97 say, “Fly around and try to see a titty.”

It’s weird. The drone referenced above (which looks pretty much exactly like the one Cartman used to see Craig’s mom’s bush on South Park) lists for $1,199.99. That kind of money could buy you 60 solid hours on the rail at a strip club, 30 full-contact lap dances, or five actual prostitutes.

Is peeking up the skirt of some poor woman as she bends over to clean up some cat puke in her fourth-floor apartment really worth it?

Not that it matters: Such peeking is totally against the law now. Oregon House Bill 4066, effective as of last March, put the kibosh on a wide variety of totally juvenile things you can do with a drone.

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Willamette Week DECEMBER 7, 2016 wweek.com

For starters, no rigging up your unmanned aircraft with some kind of gun and calling in drone strikes on people who piss you off—weaponizing your drone is now a Class A misdemeanor even if you don’t hit anybody. (Nice try, Donald Trump.)

Also, you’re not permitted to use your drone to annoy real planes that actually have some business being in the air and aren’t some stupid toy being controlled by a fat guy drinking beer in a lawn chair.

Finally, of course, no photographing or video recording of other people’s naughty bits. The law actually goes into surprisingly minute detail in defining “recording,” “nudity” and “intimate area.” Then again, I suppose nobody wants to leave a loophole that might later became enshrined in case law as “the Underboob Defense.”

QUESTIONS? Send them to dr.know@wweek.com

WHAT NOW? R ADIO IS YOURS CONTEST 2016

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Willamette Week DECEMBER 7, 2016 wweek.com

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started working at PPS in 1999, filed a federal lawsuit in 2015. Seeley declined to comment on the dispute. A PPS spokeswoman declined to say whether Seeley is still being paid her $79,145 annual salary, but salary records PPS released in April included her.

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Trump’s Cascadia Connection

As President-elect Donald Trump firms up his cabinet nominees, Oregon continues to be on the outside looking in. Trump’s federal disclosure forms show he owns Nike shares worth between $100,000 and $250,000. But the most direct connection is to Trump’s pick for commerce secretary—billionaire investor Wilbur Ross. Ross, who made his fortune turning around distressed industrial companies, began a series of large investments in 2009 with Greenbrier, the Lake Oswego-based barge and railcar manufacturer.

Ross served on Greenbrier’s board of directors from 2009 to 2013, and one of his employees, Wendy Teramoto, serves on it now.

“Mr. Ross is an excellent and qualified choice for commerce secretary, and we are privileged to know him well,” says Greenbrier spokesman Jack Isselmann.

School Counselor’s Dispute Drags On Three Years

A school psychologist from Sunnyside Environmental K-8 in Southeast Portland who was placed on paid administrative leave on Oct. 16, 2013, remains locked in a legal dispute with Portland Public Schools. PPS put Theresa Seeley on leave so it could investigate her after she participated in a custody proceeding involving two Sunnyside students without district approval, public documents show. Seven months earlier, the Portland School Board voted not to extend Seeley’s contract with the district. Seeley, who

Former Housing Director Pans Apartment Purchase

Margaret Van Vliet, director of the Portland Housing Bureau from 2009 to 2011, is criticizing the city’s plan to buy the Ellington Apartments in Northeast Portland—the first proposed purchase from the $258 million housing bond voters approved last month. The city has agreed to pay $47 CITy Of PORTLAND

DEALS GOOD THROUGH 12/12

Van Vliet

million for the 263 units and plans to spend an additional $10 million on repairs, with $37 million of that coming from the bond. “The property was built using public resources, and has a long and somewhat ugly history of inadequate management,” Van Vliet wrote in a Dec. 4 letter to Mayor Charlie Hales and city commissioners.

“Its physical condition is questionable. With respect, PHB is not equipped to provide the kind of asset management befitting a public owner, especially for such a troubled asset.” City Commissioner Dan Saltzman disagreed in a Dec. 6 email.

“The proposed purchase is not based on the past,” he wrote, “but is premised on an immediate need to prevent displacement and to provide long-term affordability.”

NEWS

WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS WEEK

60

Weight in pounds of the metallic sign

INSIDE CITY HALL

Housing Trouble The number of new single-person households in Portland increased more than 10 times faster than households with children between 2000 and 2014, and the number of AfricanAmerican residents declined by 10 percent even as the city’s total population rose 16 percent.

Those are two of the eye-opening findings that spring from a report released by the Portland Housing Bureau last week.

The 144-page document, dubbed “State of Housing in Portland Report,” contained a wealth of other facts about how other groups are losing ground to single whites.

The city’s Native American population plunged

even faster than its black population, for example, falling from 12,125 to 4,876 over 14 years, a 60 percent decline. Incomes for both groups dove as well, illustrating a widespread phenomenon— middle-class wage earners are getting priced out of the city.

The overarching theme in the report is the continuing escalation of property values. The median home price in Portland has grown far faster than the national average from 2010 to 2015, and home prices in more affordable areas of Portland, such as Foster-Lents in outer Southeast, rose far faster than in the city as a whole.

NIGEL JAQUISS.

Half-Cuckooed On Dec. 6, Portland officials unveiled a new piece of public art in the atrium of City Hall.

The installation is a 5-by-5-foot metallic mockup of the “Portland Oregon” sign with a different message: “Portland Is Happening Now,” it reads.

The sign comes courtesy of Travel Portland and Wieden+Kennedy, which created it to promote Portland as a destination for visitors. Originally, the sign sat atop a 24-foot-tall cuckoo clock, but the actual clock and carved sculptures are destined for different homes, city officials say.

In Portland, the City Council supplies its own cuckoo, apparently.

TARRA MARTIN.

3

Weight in tons of the entire clock

1

Number of Oregon maple trees used in the carving of the structure

643

Number of hours it took to carve the maple

Median Home Price Increase From 2010 to 2015

0

The royalty in dollars Portland charged the organizations to use the trademarked image of the “Portland Oregon” sign. “Knowing that the work we do is in promotion of the city as a destination,” says Megan Conway of Travel Portland, “the city waived the fee for this project.”

44% FOSTER-LENTS

PORTLAND

30% NATIONAL

T R AV E L P O R T L A N D

79%

SOURCES: PORTLAND HOUSING BUREAU, U.S. CENSUS

Q&A

Mary Hull Caballero

CHRISTINE DONG

Police Review and ombudsman in the charter, insulating them from political pressure. Right now, the mayor and City Council can theoretically abolish the IPR or ombudsman; putting them in the charter would require a vote of the people.

Hull Caballero, who took office in 2015, sat down with WW to talk about what’s driving her proposal— and what Portlanders would get out of the change. BETH SLOVIC.

Next month, Portland’s elected auditor, Mary Hull Caballero, will ask the City Council to refer a charter amendment to voters in May 2017 that she says would give the auditor more control over the office’s budget—and help it avoid conflicts of interest.

The change, if approved, would enshrine the auditor’s Independent

WW: Broadly speaking, what are you seeking?

Mary Hull Caballero: Portlanders elected a city auditor to hold the government accountable, and organizational independence is the bedrock of our ability to do that work. Since I’ve been here, I’ve run into several examples where the organizational structure of the city undermines our ability to do that.

Uber must offer an example, right? Last year, you investigated Mayor Charlie Hales and Commissioner Steve Novick for violating city rules by not reporting a meeting with Uber lobbyists, correct?

As an elected auditor, I was investigating two other elected officials, and at the beginning of that, all three of us were being advised by the City Attorney’s Office. It quickly became apparent to me that was not serving the investigation well.

Right now, you need permission from the city attorney to get outside counsel. You want to be able to do that without seeking approval. Why? The mayor and City Council hire and supervise the city attorney, and I don’t have any role in that decision-making. By human nature, she would be responsive to the people who hire her and hold her accountable for her performance. So there’s just an inherent conflict there.

The last major charter change concerning the auditor’s office happened 30 years ago, before the office launched the Independent Police Review.

It’s just a different office than it was 30 years ago, and it often is taking positions that are adverse to other city bureaus and other elected officials.

Walk us through what happened last year when Mayor Hales directed bureaus to cut 5 percent from their budgets so he could redirect money to affordable housing.

That’s a fine priority to have. I don’t have any objection to that. But they were lumping this office in with other bureaus as if it were just another bureau instead of a co-equal elected office just like theirs are.

They exempted their offices from the 5 percent cuts but they fully expected the accountability function to cut its budget 5 percent so they could take that money for their legislative policy choices.

But you were ultimately spared the cuts, right?

I was spared some cuts. But my budget was cut and theirs were not.

Is the goal to make it so they can’t cut your budget?

As the government grows, this office should also grow, because the need for accountability never diminishes.

It actually increases when there are more expenditures, more programs, more employees. If Portland’s fortunes decline and revenues decline, we think this office should also decline in its size and function.

What’s the outcome you hope for?

The ultimate goal that we’re trying to get to is that the mayor and council, when they sit as the budget council, respect this office’s needs for resources to do its work and neither reduce the auditor’s office budget to fund something else they like better nor engage in some sort of retribution if they’re unhappy with something we’re doing.

Willamette Week DECEMBER 7, 2016 wweek.com

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Willamette Week DECEMBER 7, 2016 wweek.com

One Strike, You’re Out PRESIDENT OBAMA IS DEPORTING RECORD NUMBERS OF IMMIGRANTS. PRESIDENT-ELECT TRUMP SHOWS NO SIGNS OF SLOWING.

BY BE T H S LOV I C

bslovic@wweek.com

The knock came at around 6 am. someone can go from lawful immiLuis Garcia-Campos was still asleep in his Southeast grant to criminal alien under the current Portland apartment, so his partner, Sean Sexton, opened U.S. system. Before his conviction, Garcia-Campos was the door. eligible to become a U.S. citizen. The second is how toothIn front of him that Nov. 15 morning were five or six less many feel-good local policies are. Washington County armed and uniformed agents of U.S. Immigration and Sheriff Pat Garrett said last month his agency wouldn’t Customs Enforcement who were there to arrest Garcia- cooperate with federal immigration authorities, but that Campos, a legal U.S. resident, and ferry him to the North- didn’t help Garcia-Campos. Mayor-elect Ted Wheeler west Detention Center in Tacoma, Wash. There, he would has declared Portland a “sanctuary city,” and Multnomah await deportation to Venezuela, his native country.

County Sheriff Mike Reese has taken a position similar to Three months earlier, a Washington County jury had Garrett’s. found Garcia-Campos, a hospice nurse, guilty of possessNone of that matters, however, if federal officials want to ing methamphetamine. The felony deport somebody. charge sprang from an incident in Tim Warden-Hertz, an immigration Cedar Mill in March 2016, when Garlawyer in Washington state, calls deccia-Campos says he was attempting to larations such as Wheeler’s “impordispose of a drug stash from his thentant statements.” But they have limits. husband, Ron Toney. Garcia-Campos “Just because you live in a sanctuary maintains he is innocent. city doesn’t mean you’re safe,” he says.

Whether that’s true is largely irrel“ICE is still in those cities and can go evant. Under federal immigration law, out and pick you up.” there are rarely second chances for Garcia-Campos, 32, came to the immigrants—legal or illegal—found United States on a tourist visa 15 years guilty of felony drug charges. Rose ago right after high school, landing Richeson, a spokeswoman for ICE, first in Florida, Sexton says. He evenGarcia-Campos (left) and Sexton. says the federal government prioritually moved to California, securing a tizes deportation proceedings against student visa to attend nursing school felons alongside national security at City College of San Francisco. He threats. That’s true today under President Barack Obama, also met his future husband, Ron Toney, then moved to and President-elect Donald Trump’s anti-immigrant Oregon around 2009, when Toney’s employer transferred rhetoric suggests such deportations will only accelerate. him. They married in Washington in 2013.

“President Obama has really focused on deporting peoBut Garcia-Campos ran into problems in 2014 when ple with criminal convictions, and I don’t think that’s going husband Toney lost his job and plunged into drug abuse, to change,” says Juliet Stumpf, a professor at Lewis & Clark Sexton says. Toney fell off a cliff, Sexton says, adding: “Luis Law School who specializes in immigration matters. “The could see that cliff coming.” real difference is President Trump can take the already Garcia-Campos, who has also abused drugs, entered existing mechanisms for deportation and ramp them up.” rehab, but he couldn’t stop Toney. Records show GarciaCampos called 911 on March 6 from their Cedar Mill home Garcia-Campos’ case, illustrates two punitive to report his husband. “Ron beat him,” Sexton says. “It was aspects of federal immigration law. The first is how easily a big fight.”

TERRENCE NOWICKI

NEWS

Washington County sheriff ’s deputies arrested Toney for possession of a controlled substance.

But two weeks later—it’s still not entirely clear why—a sheriff’s deputy asked Garcia-Campos to meet.

On March 22, he was arrested for possession as well. Court records show Garcia-Campos admitted to grabbing his husband’s drugs out of his bedroom safe, but his criminal attorney argued unsuccessfully in court that his contact with the drugs was so “minimal in duration” that it was not criminal.

Toney and Garcia-Campos split up, and Garcia-Campos started dating Sexton. Toney died in September If Garcia-Campos had been a U.S. citizen, his story would have ended there. Washington County Circuit Judge Eric Butterfield sentenced Garcia-Campos to 18 months’ probation. He kept his job. Garcia-Campos’ license shows no disciplinary action by the Oregon State Board of Nursing for drug abuse.

The U.S. Department of Homeland Security has asked local law enforcement officials to cooperate with deportation proceedings by holding convicted criminals in their jails until they can be transferred to federal detention.

Even if local sheriffs refuse, as they have in Washington and Multnomah counties, that refusal doesn’t matter, as Garcia-Campos’ case shows. Federal agents simply picked him up at home.

Garcia-Campos was still in his pajamas when agents knocked. “It was stunning,” Sexton says.

Compounding Garcia-Campos’ troubles is the fact that he is HIV-positive. He and advocates for his release, including Basic Rights Oregon, say he will not receive adequate medical care in Venezuela, where the economy is in shambles.

“Sadly, his story is not uncommon,” says Diane Goodwin, a spokeswoman for BRO. “Now he may be sent back to a country that may not welcome him.”

David Shamloo, Garcia-Campos’ immigration attorney, declined to comment.

Garcia-Campos, speaking briefly by phone from detention in Washington, says he fears he will be a target in Venezuela as a gay man with HIV who sought a better life in the U.S. “If you’ve done everything by the books for 15 years,” he says, “there should be a second chance.”

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WWEEK.COM

VOL 42/13 1 . 27. 2016

SHAHAB SALEMY

joe riedl

NEWS

KNOWS INNOVATION.

BACK IN THE SADDLE: Mathew Topolewski is still waiting for a police report from a September bike accident.

Waiting Game

TRAFFIC ACCIDENT VICTIMS ARE SUFFERING BECAUSE THE PORTLAND POLICE BUREAU CANNOT PRODUCE REPORTS.

By Nig e l Jaq ui ss

njaquiss@week.com

On Sept. 16, Mathew Topolewski was pedaling his bicycle south on Southwest Naito Parkway when a car turning right on Taylor Street knocked him to the pavement.

“I was in the bike lane and got right-hooked,” Topolewski says. “I smashed into the back of a car.

He dragged me along for a little while.”

Topolewski, 26 and an advertising copy writer, suffered injuries to his left side and wrist, and damage to his dark green Fuji classic. He says the driver who hit him stopped briefly but fled before identifying himself.

“He got out of the car and yelled at me to be careful,” Topolewski says. “He gave me a hug, said, ‘You scared me,’ and ran off.”

Witnesses noted the car’s license plate and called the police. The officer’s report should have provided a basis for the driver’s insurance company to pay Topolewski’s medical bills.

Except it’s been 81 days since the accident, and Topolewski still doesn’t have a copy of the police report—or the name of the driver who hit him.

He has company.

Last year, the Portland Police Bureau installed a new records management system. The price for a copy of a basic police report tripled from $10 to $30.

The time it takes to produce that report also soared from a few weeks to four months. The delays are another in a long line of technology glitches that have afflicted the city.

“It’s really a problem for people who’ve been injured to try to convince insurance companies what happened,” says Ray Thomas, a lawyer who frequently represents cyclists and pedestrians who’ve been hit by motor vehicles.

Because he had no way to contact the person who’d hit him, Topolewski hired Mark Ginsberg, a personal injury lawyer.

Ginsberg, like Thomas, requests police reports regularly for clients. But he’s not getting them nearly as fast as he used to, he says.

When an alleged crime such as a hit-and-run resulting in injury takes place, police officers write a report that includes a narrative and contact information for involved parties. The reports are stored electronically and are public records.

The Portland Police Bureau receives requests for about 1,600 reports a month. Records supervisor Tammi Weiss says training her three staffers on

the new system took a couple of months. She says it also took time for officers to learn to use a new records template.

“It was a lot of retraining, and we haven’t quite gotten to the speed that we would like,” Weiss says.

There’s another problem. When the bureau installed its new system, many officers also stopped using a simple paper document called a “traffic crash exchange form,” which allowed motorists and cyclists to leave accident scenes with each other’s insurance and contact information.

Now that doesn’t always happen, and victims such as Topolewski hang in limbo. That’s a big deal because serious traffic injuries and deaths are on the rise in Portland.

There are nearly 1,000 traffic accidents a month in Portland that involve either bodily injury or vehicle damage of more than $1,500, city figures show.

Ginsberg, who formerly chaired the city’s bicycle advisory committee, has pushed the city to bring back the traffic crash exchange forms. Bike Portland first reported on slow police reports in April, and Ginsberg says the problem’s barely gotten better.

“Oregon has an administrative rule that insurance companies must make a liability determination in 45 days,” Ginsberg says. “Without a police report, they can’t do that.”

He says the delay in obtaining reports has real consequences: Injured Portlanders have to pay for damages somebody else caused.

PPB spokesman Sgt. Pete Simpson says the bureau is working to speed up the production of reports. “There’s nobody here that doesn’t recognize there’s a problem,” Simpson says. The city budgeted for four new positions in the records office earlier this year but has been unable to fill them, although a new recruitment process is starting soon. Simpson says many officers are again providing traffic accident exchange reports, and that the backlog for police reports is now less than three months but still far longer than the goal of 14 to 21 days. “I can’t make any good excuses because there aren’t any,” Simpson says.

Topolewski says that on the day of the accident he was overwhelmed by the kindness of strangers.

One called the police; another, who worked in a bike shop, advised him on repairs; and the responding police officer was very helpful.

“It was so Portland,” Topolewski says, “but since then, I’ve been left in the dark.”

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11

T S O M E H T

S U O R E G N DA

D N A L T R O P N I WOMAN ARNESSING

H MARGOT BLACK IS

BY RACH E L M O NAH AN

rmonahan@wweek.com

It’s the morning of Monday, Nov. 28, in Room 120 of the Multnomah County Courthouse, where tenants go to resolve eviction cases with their landlords. There’s an air of quiet desperation under the cold fluorescent lights, because tenants usually don’t stand a chance.

Two tenants, huddled in the back corner of the first-floor courtroom, are about to flip that script.

The reason is wedged between them, and she stands out in this chamber of last resort: young, white and professionally dressed—red leather boots with heels and a black trench coat over an elegant dress.

Margot Black, 38, is not a lawyer. She is, however, a founder of a renters’ rights group, Portland Tenants United. She is bundle of contradictions—a fighter who is quick to laugh, friendly and outgoing but also blunt. And she has been remarkably effective at making renters a political force for the first time in recent Portland history.

In eviction court, unlike criminal court, no one is entitled to free legal representation. Landlords have the upper hand. But Black found a lawyer with 40 years of experience to handle this case.

At 9:10 am, that lawyer, Craig Colby, arrives. He’s only dimly aware of Portland Tenants United, but that’s about to change.

The landlord has issued two improper eviction notices, the tenants allege.

Out in the hall, Colby exchanges business cards with Black, asking her where she works.

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Willamette Week DECEMBER 7, 2016 wweek.com

E THIS CITY.

NTERS TO CHANG THE POWER OF RE

“I teach math at Lewis & Clark College,” Black says, as she digs through her faded green leather purse. She’s collected so many business cards in pursuit of her goal she sometimes confuses them with her own.

For the past year and a half, at least a few times a week, when the married mother of three wasn’t teaching, she was shuttling her silver Honda Odyssey minivan not between soccer matches but between court, rallies or meetings in backrooms of bars and nonprofit offices.

Black’s decision to get Colby involved won the tenants an extra four months—and she moved onto her next battle.

Her cause took a dramatic step forward in November. On Election Day, Portland did something it hasn’t done in 24 years—it tossed out an incumbent.

City Commissioner Steve Novick, until recently a darling of the left, lost his well-funded re-election bid to Chloe Eudaly, a bookstore owner with no political experience and almost no money.

What Eudaly did have was a single, overwhelming focus— housing.

Tenants—and Black—stand to benefit more from that victory than any other group in town.

A year ago, Black was unknown. Now she’s a driving force and the face of a new tenants’ rights movement that combines the energy of Portland street protest with policy research, lobbying and campaigning.

CONT. on page 14

JOE RIEDL

Willamette Week DECEMBER 7, 2016 wweek.com

13

“PTU and Margot in particular are giving voice to the housing anxiety being felt across the city.”

BENJAMIN KERENSA

—Ted Wheeler

Rents have increased more than flank to groups across the state that are 30 percent in the past four years seeking an end to no-cause evictions while renters’ wages, adjusted for and to overturn the state’s ban on rent inflation, have fallen. Housing is control. the most important political issue Bax says today’s tenant advocates in Portland. are a new breed.

It’s no accident, then, that Black “They’re better organized,” she says. and Eudaly rode renters’ discontent “They’re more engaged in coming up to political power. with workable solutions.”

Many politicians rightly view But Black wants to go a step furK-12 parents as a potent voting bloc, ther—she wants a rent freeze in Portbut fewer than 20 percent of Portland now until the state creates more land households have kids in public restrictions. schools. More than twice that numThat’s an example of the aggressive ber are renters. tactics Black and PTU employ.

Portland is changing rapidly, and “They’ve raised the volume on the battles over where and how people issue,” says Portland State University DIRECT ACTION: Portland Tenants United will live are central to that change. professor Lisa Bates. rallied Sept. 17 for a rent freeze.

Black has stepped into a leadership The tenant union’s protests have vacuum for a previously impotent alienated some. In February, PTU was group—renters—who now realize part of a protest, banging on the doors they have a say in what happens of the Oregon Legislature to little to them. She combines a powerful intellect with a hard- avail. The group made no headway with the Multnomah edged approach unusual in Portland activism. And she’s County Board of Commissioners after shutting down an grabbed hold of two issues that concern everybody: money April commission meeting. There are advocates who fear and a place to sleep. the way Black has pushed for tenants’ rights will backfire.

“There were a lot of people who were searching for Black’s agenda faces real opposition: Powerful landsolutions,” says Eudaly. “Until the Legislature overturns lords raised $310,000 for their newly renamed political the ban on rent control and our elected officials get it action committee—Equitable Housing PAC. That’s more together to protect renters, renters need to use their col- than 15 times the amount they raised in any year since lective power to bargain with landlords—and know their 2009. rights. [Black] has made this happen. Without her, it would DiLorenzo says the landlords’ record fundraising was never have materialized. She’s just relentless, righteous in easy after Kotek’s announcement she wants to lift the her anger. She is passionate and extremely intelligent.” state’s ban on rent control. “Maybe I owe her a hug,” he says.

While Black now has the ear of Eudaly, who says she will DiLorenzo’s group has been using cash to fight PTU’s push for a rent freeze and an end to landlords’ right to rent-control proposal in Salem. evict tenants without reason, Black also has developed a But there are a lot more renters than landlords, and as relationship with Mayor-elect Ted Wheeler.

Eudaly’s victory showed, they can be mobilized.

The prevailing conversation in the housing crisis has Black is fully aware of their combined might: She says been about increasing supply, but Portland Tenants Unit- she’ll escalate the stakes if lawmakers fail to protect tened extracted promises from Wheeler during the campaign ants in the 2017 leglislative session that begins in Februcentered instead on tenant protections. ary.

At Black’s urging, Wheeler adopted a Tenants’ Bill of “The nuclear option,” she says, “would be a rent strike.”

Rights, including a key provision to restrict “no-cause” Ultimately, a tenants’ union is about demonstrating its evictions, in which landlords aren’t required to give a rea- collective power. son for kicking out tenants.

“For anyone who acts likes it’s insane and crazy: Have “PTU and Margot in particular are giving voice to the you heard of the labor movement?” Black says. “This is housing anxiety being felt across the city,” says Wheeler. how we got the weekend.”

“I’m listening.”

Portland Tenants United is guided by a 15-member Black says her adult life has been shaped by landlords’ organizing committee. The union formed its first two affil- power over her. iates at buildings where tenants got together to negotiate At age 19, Black was a single mom with a 7-month-old collectively with their landlords. It counts 100 organizers baby when she was first evicted—from an apartment in as its core, and landlords have already taken note.

Portland’s West Slope.

“They do not appear to be a bunch of amateurs,” says Her boyfriend had recently moved out, and she was still John DiLorenzo, a lobbyist for Portland landlords. “They paying the rent. Then, seemingly for no reason, she was have certainly been successful in getting people to notice evicted. them. Obviously, they have [House Speaker Tina Kotek’s] “I was so confused,” Black says. She sought an explanation. attention. I am treating them like a group of pros who Eventually, an onsite property manager told her, “We’re know what they’re doing.” not running a whorehouse here, Margot.”

Advocates have floated the idea of rent control in PortThat didn’t make sense. “I was this frumpy girl who land before, but it got no traction. didn’t really have any friends,” she says. “I was in a total “Back in the ’90s, there was not any appetite; people panic.” were not ready to hear it,” says Margaret Bax, who was Eviction sent her into a tailspin: She found a new aparthousing policy adviser to then-City Commissioners ment, but it was far from her job waiting tables at Red Gretchen Kafoury and Erik Sten.

Robin. She had no car, and after repeatedly arriving late Portland Tenants United isn’t flying solo. They are a left for work, she was fired.

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Willamette Week DECEMBER 7, 2016 wweek.com

“I got a ticket on the express train to poverty,” Black said at a September rally.

Black was born in Salt Lake City to a struggling family.

Her mother, who has schizophrenia, was 21 when Black was born. Black never knew her father and was raised by her grandmother.

When she graduated from high school, Black was 18 and pregnant. That’s when she moved to Portland.

“She’s the poster child for someone who should be a homeless drug addict,” says Sammy Black, her husband of 10 years and a co-founder of PTU. What saved Margot Black? “She’s really good at judging people’s character,” her husband says.

She also met Doug Stewart, now 61, a Unitarian church youth group director from Salt Lake City who’d also moved to Portland. Stewart essentially adopted Black, offering her a place to live for a few weeks that turned into a few years.

Against Stewart’s advice, Black quit a receptionist job to return to school full-time.

“The high energy and going-for-it are part of her personality; that and putting herself out there,” Stewart says.

“It also seems to work out for her.”

Black graduated cum laude with a math degree from Lewis & Clark College in 2003. She then earned a master’s degree at the University of Oregon.

While in Eugene, she married Sammy, a fellow grad student. And she argued with her landlord.

“Here’s my weakness: When someone is targeting me in a clear way, that fight-or-flight thing, I fight,” Black says.

Five years ago, Black and her husband moved to Portland with their three kids and took jobs teaching math at local colleges.

Soon Black was hit with another no-cause eviction, this time from the landlord of a house she was renting in the Maplewood neighborhood. The landlord’s daughter was unexpectedly moving back to town.

The landlord told Black she was “just a renter.”

The comment stuck with her. “I felt so keenly aware of not mattering, not being important,” she says. “It was becoming aware of what a classist system it was.”

Black began writing to politicians, including then-Gov. John Kitzhaber, asking for changes to state law to protect renters. She also wrote to U.S. Rep. Suzanne Bonamici (D-Ore.) and Portland City Commissioner Nick Fish.

She wasn’t yet an organizer, but she was on her way. “I will be working very hard to make sure this doesn’t happen to other families in the future,” Black emailed Mainlander Property Management in August 2012. When her husband’s two-year academic post ended without another job in sight, they downsized to an apartment, but not before surrendering their security deposit on their previous rental because the landlord said the house was damaged.

That financial penalty helped tip them into bankruptcy in 2014, Black says.

She delayed aspirations of homeownership—which she now calls a “pyramid scheme.”

“I don’t want to join the country club; I want the country club to be open to everyone,” she says.

More than two years ago, Black started a Facebook group for renters, PDX Renters Unite!, after hearing numerous stories of no-cause evictions. Now it has about 2,700 members.

In classic Portland fashion, Black made the leap from virtual to real-life advocacy because of an art installation.

CONT. on page 16

BENJAMIN KERENSA

RALLYING THE TROOPS: Margot Black, 38, a founder of Portland Tenants United, spoke to renters at a march in September.

Willamette Week DECEMBER 7, 2016 wweek.com

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Willamette Week DECEMBER 7, 2016 wweek.com

BENJAMIN KERENSA

In early 2015, artist Tori Abernathy held a series of renters’ assemblies at HQ Objective gallery on West Burnside Street. Participants sat (uncomfortably) on neon-colored rocks. Abernathy, who would leave Portland after a no-cause eviction, wanted to raise the profile of the issue.

Black, who attended the assemblies, wanted to do more than that.

She attended Legislative Lobby Days at the state Capitol in spring 2015, and discovered to her surprise there was no group working on rent control.

Then WW published a story examining common misconceptions about apartments and rent control (“The 5 Myths About Portland Apartments,” WW, June 10, 2015).

In the story, tenants were described as “wild-eyed” and “tie-dyed” and having just moved their “drum kit.”

That characterization became a rallying cry, Black says: “The article came out, and we were like, ‘Fuck that.’”

On June 18, 2015, Black convened the first meeting of what would become Portland Tenants United at KBOO radio station. At the meeting, Black said she rejected the polite discourse that defines Portland politics. She wanted a rent strike immediately. She proposed that thousands of tenants not pay rent until they were given protections that would keep them in their homes. She learned quickly how much she didn’t know about organizing.

“She has a very strong will,” says former City Council candidate and housing activist Nick Caleb, who attended the first meetings of PTU. Black soon connected with Eudaly, before Eudaly working to set up a website, and doesn’t have a precise entered the 2016 race and became a long-shot, little- count of its members, but they are now a regular presence known challenger to Novick. They first met at Eudaly’s at rallies and when housing is on the City Council agenda. store, Reading Frenzy, on July 21, 2015, when San Fran- Their black-and-white T-shirts read, “I Rent. I Vote.” cisco author James Tracy came to discuss his book about Novick, the first council incumbent to lose since 1992, tenant activism in the Bay Area, Dispatches Against Dis- can attest to that. Many observers attribute his stunning placement. defeat to the energy and visibility Eudaly and Black have In late September, Black and Eudaly sat down to dis- given tenants’ concerns. cuss the plight of renters. They met on a rainy day near “The anxiety around housing is real across all specBlack’s house “for a huge download”—driving together to trums of our community,” says Israel Bayer, executive Marco’s Cafe in Multnomah Village and director of Street Roots. “Obviously houslater moving to Village Coffee to continue ing was key issue for voters.” the discussion.

At PTU’s first official press conference “We talked about tenants’ rights,” Nov. 18, Steven Demarest, president of Black says. “It was validating to have those Service Employees International Union conversations.”

Local 503, mentioned that Eudaly’s sucSays Eudaly: “We’ve been through cessful critique of Novick should put the a real intense learning process this last other city commissioners on notice.

“Game on. year.”

“The message they should take is, There was no Black joined the City Club of Portland’s they can be replaced,” said Demarest. committee on housing affordability and “The message they should take is that turning back. maneuvered her way onto then-mayoral they need to get their priorities straight The word is candidate Ted Wheeler’s housing commitand assign the correct urgency to the ‘intoxicating.’ tee. humanitarian crisis that is facing our city It’s been hard to be a Portland renter right now. The message they should take The idea that in recent years. The median income for is to do their jobs.” we could mount Portland renters is $30,000, according to this threat the Portland Housing Bureau’s 2016 State Portland Tenants United’s strength is that of Housing report; median rent for a twoit can work both an outside game—with and stop this bedroom apartment is $18,240 a year, and rallies and direct action—and an inside eviction. The vacancies are rare. game, using access and strong relationIn January 2016, Portland Tenants ships with elected officials. sheriff’s note United won its first victory for renters, In August, the group organized a tenwas on his door. forcing a landlord to back down from ants’ union affiliate at a apartment buildI guess we have evicting a tenant of 33 years. ing in East Portland, where tenants faced “Game on,” Black says. “There was no a 45 percent rent increase. power; how turning back. The word is ‘intoxicating.’

It’s the sort of crippling hike that in the about that?”

The idea that we could mount this threat past might have activated a halfhearted and stop this eviction. The sheriff’s note response from advocates but nothing —Margot Black was on his door. I guess we have power; more. PTU members rallied outside the how about that? That’s pretty cool.”

A&G Rental Management company, The victory won acclaim—and publicity. At a Portland taking their list of demands straight into the office. They Tenants United open house a few weeks later, 300 people camped outside landlord Landon Marsh’s house. renters showed up, eager to learn more.

The results were small wins. The tenants got to stay an Black had struck a chord. extra month before they moved and were allowed to use their security deposits for a month of rent.

The increasing awareness of the city’s tight housing mar“That public shaming hasn’t been used in housing ket makes it easy for Portland Tenants United to grow. advocacy before,” says Andrew Riley, who works at 1000 They’re gaining members by the week. The group is still Friends of Oregon and is a PTU member. “I’m a policy

INSIDE GAME: Margot Black presenting to PTU’s general assembly at the Q Center on Aug. 21.

wonk, but this kind of direct action gives tenants an opportunity to come together.”

Landon Marsh says Black is “disorganized” and running an “amateur group” that kept demanding more and more. He says he had tried to keep rents low, but will not do so for new tenants.

“She’s creating a problem for Portland,” he says. “Now we’re having to increase rent solely because of Margot Black.”

Academics who’ve studied housing say Black’s push for rent freezes and rent control would only reduce the supply of housing and make a tight market even tighter.

“The idea is that there are faceless, enormous Trumpesque landlords who are basically sitting on huge wads of cash; it may be fashionable,” says Ethan Seltzer, director of the Institute of Portland Metropolitan Studies at Portland State University, noting Portland is trying to promote small-scale development throughout the city.

“If you want that kind of housing production, and you make the life of your landlords miserable, it’s not going to happen.”

Black is skeptical of such arguments.

She points to New York City, where advocates accustomed to renter protections view Portland as the Wild West, where landlords do whatever they want.

“Rent control and rent stabilization are the biggest way to protect tenants and keep families in homes,” says Jonathan Westin, executive director of activist group New York Communities for Change, which is starting a national campaign to bring rent control to cities across the country. “No other solutions have been able to keep up with gentrification.”

Regardless of who’s right about what renter protections would do to supply, it’s clear that Black has altered the political landscape.

Today, House Speaker Kotek, the most powerful Democrat in the state Legislature, wants to cap rents for a year and ban no-cause evictions.

And Black is far from finished. Galvanized by Eudaly’s victory, tenant activists are already looking for candidates to challenge longtime incumbent city commissioners Nick Fish and Dan Saltzman, the former and current housing commissioners, in 2018.

Might Black be one of the new candidates?

“My intention is to run,” she says. Noting Saltzman was already widely expected to face stiff competition, Black says she’ll take on Fish: “He needs a strong challenger.”

Street

Left: “I’m from Portland. One morning, I watched a van pull out of a 7-Eleven and drive the wrong direction up a one-way street, in reverse. The cashier chased after the van for a block.” Right: “I’m from Seattle. The weirdest thing I’ve seen are the anti-California signs.”

THE WEST END WHERE ARE YOU FROM? WHAT’S THE WEIRDEST THING YOU’VE SEEN IN PORTLAND? Photos by chr istin e don g

“I’m from Kuwait. Weirdest thing I’ve seen are the food carts because there are so many of them—and some of them are even open on Thanksgiving.”

“From the East Coast. Weirdest thing has been the clown sightings around Halloween time.”

“I’m from Portland. Weirdest thing I’ve seen was someone trying to parallel park a smart car into a gigantic space, then giving up and driving way.”

“Pomona, Calif. Weirdest thing I’ve seen is the guy who wears all blue, who is painted blue as well.”

“Born and raised in Portland. Weirdest thing I’ve seen is this big group of homeless people at night playing African drums…not sure if this is still a thing or not.”

GIFT E D I U G

wweek.com

Willamette Week DECEMBER 7, 2016 wweek.com

17

Obituary

STARTERS

WW ARCHIVES

B I T E - S I Z E D P O RT L A N D C U LT U R E N E W S

John Painter, Jr.

August 21, 1938 – November 18, 2016

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Willamette Week DECEMBER 7, 2016 wweek.com

tive of “the largest newspaper between San Francisco and the North Pole.”

He was an insatiable reader: he favored history and biography [particularly everything Winston Churchill] but devoured pop fiction and political commentary as well. He read over a dozen magazines and newspapers on a regular basis. If nothing else was handy, he would read the telephone book in a new city.

His curiosity was boundless, and his interests unlimited. He received a Medill Fellowship to Northwestern University in 1967 and a Nieman Fellowship to study at Harvard in 1976. He loved sports, especially the Oregon Ducks, the Portland Trailblazers, the Seattle Seahawks and the Boston Celtics and Bruins.

On Friday, July 13, 1979, he met Susan Elizabeth Reese at the Goose Hollow Inn in Portland. Love at first sight became marriage three months later on the windswept Oregon coast in Yachats. They celebrated with a gala party, 13 days later, and continued with anniversary parties almost every five years of their 37 year passionate relationship. They traveled to the exotic [Portugal, Paris, Hong Kong, Alaska, South Africa], often combining John’s writings with Susan’s photos for travel stories.

After John retired, he joined Susan in more mundane travel for her law practice: to Madras, Moro, Lakeview, Prineville.

In Newport for a meeting in autumn, 2000, they spotted a small cottage overlooking the ocean in Nye Beach.

They bought it. With the help of local architect Dietmar Goebel [who became a dear friend] they rebuilt it into their dream house in 2002. Although maintaining a home in Portland, Susan and John quickly became part of Newport’s small, welcoming community. They energetically supported the Newport Symphony, the Oregon Coast Aquarium, the Lincoln County Historical Society and Maritime Museum, the Friends of Yaquina Lighthouses, Samaritan House and Atonement Lutheran Church.

John faithfully cared for Susan through her two battles with cancer; but when he received his own diagnosis of pancreatic cancer in August, their love was not enough to get him through. John declined the option of grueling treatment and an uncertain outcome. He and Susan visited favorite places, spent time with friends and family, cherished each other and celebrated their love. Just three months and 13 days after his diagnosis, John died peacefully at home with Susan at his side.

John’s survivors include his wife, Susan Elizabeth Painter and his extended family: Pamela and Mary Glaros of Portland; Frederick Reese of Phoenix, AZ; Rebecca Reese and Andrew Bonner of Portland; Cate and Andy Sulek of Atlanta; Tim Reese and Edie Chang of Sacramento; George, Debbie and Elizabeth Anne Reese of Champaign, Ill and Nambe Pueblo, NM; and Will, Samina and Liam Reese of Portland.

A private graveside burial occurred on November 29 at Eureka Cemetery in Newport. A memorial service will occur on December 16, 2016 at Atonement Lutheran Church, 2315 N Coast Highway, Newport at 2:00 p.m.

Memorial gifts might be made to Atonement Lutheran Church or Samaritan House in Newport or the Oregon Criminal Defense Lawyers Association in Eugene.

WE’RE GONNA BE FAMOUS: Gus Van Sant and Joaquin Phoenix are considering working together on a new film, Don’t Worry, He Won’t Get Far on Foot, about the late, great Portland cartoonist John Callahan. Callahan, who for years drew a weekly cartoon for Willamette Week, became a quadriplegic in a car accident at age 21 while riding with a friend who was driving drunk. His politically incorrect sense of humor led to the occasional boycott, but The Washington Post called him “among the most brilliant and original cartoonists who ever lived.” Callahan died in 2010 at 59 after a lengthy hospital stay. For the past 10 years, Portlanders have been raising money to create a memorial for Callahan on the corner of Northwest 21st Avenue and Lovejoy Street.

APPLE DRUNK: Portland will soon have America’s largest cider bar. Seattle’s Schilling Cider—creator of what may be the world’s first nitro hard cider—will open a taproom on Southeast Belmont Street’s Goat Blocks, with what company co-founder Mark Kornei says will be more cider taps than any other cider house in the United States. So where there once was a field of urban goats, there will be a giant hard-cider house with taps from four continents, gigantic beer-hall-style drinking tables made with repurposed wood, big wooden rafter beams, and a back patio featuring a concrete table with a long fire pit built into the table. The bar is expected to open next spring.

M YS PAC E

John Painter, Jr., intrepid reporter, consummate raconteur, “Topsnoop” was called to his eternal assignment behind the pearly gates in the wee hours of Friday, November 18, 2016. Just six days earlier, he enjoyed a celebration of his life and his 37 year marriage during a joyous afternoon with family and friends who told stories, shared music and offered toasts at the Newport Performing Arts Center.

During his nearly 40 year career as a reporter at The Oregonian, he covered oil and gas in Alaska; Bruce Springsteen’s first wedding in Lake Oswego; the entry and exit of the Baghwan Shree Rajneesh in Oregon; Katherine Anne Power’s bank robbery in 1970 and her surrender 20 years later. With no help from anyone, he managed to interview President Gerald Ford on Air Force One, the only Oregonian reporter ever to manage such a feat.

John was the only child of Mary Kaleen Preston Painter, an ardent volunteer for Catholic charities, and John Painter, who worked on building the Grand Coulee Dam and helped to reconstruct Pearl Harbor after the 1941 attack. Eventually, John’s dad joined the Macwhyte Company, a wire rope contractor based in Wisconsin. Young John recalled his dad going into the woods in the hot summers with ice cream for the sweating lumberjacks.

They would remember him later when it was time to buy their wire cable. John used the same talent years later: he brought boxes of candy on Valentine’s Day to court clerks who would remember to call him first when an important new case appeared in the files.

John was born in Portland on August 21, 1938. He attended Madeleine Grade School, Columbia Prep and [when it closed] Grant High School where he excelled at such endeavors as riding a motorcycle through the school corridors. He learned to do well in chess, was a scratch golfer, and won awards as a yo-yo champion.

For reasons he could never explain, John always wanted to be a reporter. He enrolled at the University of Oregon as a journalism major. Day after day, he borrowed a car, drove to Portland, and pestered Dick Nokes, then at the helm of The Oregonian, for a job. Finally, Nokes gave in, and John began as a copy boy during summer vacations. In 1960, he enlisted to avoid the draft and served three years in army intelligence stationed at Heidelberg, Germany.

He always wrote: for the Daily Emerald at the U of O; for Stars and Stripes; and for the Richmond Times Dispatch after returning to the States to complete his military obligations. At the latter paper, he covered President John F. Kennedy’s funeral, an emotional event that made a lasting impression.

John also raced cars professionally. On March 1, 1964, while racing the Alpha-Romeo he brought back from Europe on a competitive track in Falls Church, Virginia, he lost a wheel and hit a wall at 70 mph. He sustained permanent damage: a paralyzed diaphragm, a paralyzed left arm, and chronic pain in his bad limb. But this never stopped him. He returned to work at The Oregonian.

Over the next 40 years, he covered the famous, the forgotten and the forlorn at that paper, completing over 36,000 stories before retiring in 2002.

He often appeared at assignments in a three-piece suit, believing proper dress essential for a representa-

OUR OAKLAND CONNECTION: An electronic musician who once hailed from Portland remains unaccounted for following the fire at the Ghostship warehouse venue in Oakland on Dec. 2 that killed more than 30 people.

Joseph Matlock, better known as Joey Casio, was scheduled to play that night under the name Obsidian Blade. According to the East Bay Express, Matlock JOEY CASIO entered the venue about 11:15 pm.

About 10 minutes later, the fire broke out. As of press time, Matlock was listed as missing.

While Casio made his name as a producer in Olympia, Wash., he relocated to Portland briefly a few years ago, performing at PDX Pop Now in 2010. K Records owner Calvin Johnson has begun selling a collection of singles Matlock recorded for the label to raise money for the Ghostship Fire Relief Fund.

NEW IDEA: A documentary on Portland hardcore legends Poison Idea is coming in 2017. Directed by Smegma’s Mike Lastra, who previously made a film about iconic Portland punk club Satyricon, the movie traces the history of the notorious punk band, which was inducted into the Oregon Music Hall of Fame in 2013. The trailer features comments from such punk luminaries as Keith Morris, Buzz Osborne of the Melvins, Dead Moon’s Fred Cole and NOFX’s Fat Mike, who calls Poison Idea “the kings of punk.” The film is as yet untitled.

WEDNESDAY, DEC. 7

When the Future Was Now! Ron Mason Gassaway’s heady sci-fi concert series continues with this tribute to 1968 dubbed the “Edge of Aquarius.” Among the psychedelic explorers joining this celebration of retro-futurism is author and cyberpunk innovator John Shirley, who’ll be doing something or other with far-out astral travelers Quiet.

Valentines, 232 SW Ankeny St., valentinespdx. com. 9 pm. $5. 21+.

Matmos Sound magicians M.C. Schmidt and Drew Daniel have a way of turning high-concept sonic chicanery—like sampling the brainwaves of a crayfish—into something far more playful and listenable than you’d imagine. For their latest trick, the duo made a whole album out of sounds from a washing machine. And, yes, they’ve brought the machine on tour with them. Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison St., holocene.org. 8:30 pm. $14. 21+.

THURSDAY, DEC. 8

Sit on Hipster Santa’s Lap Line up with other childless adults every Thursday, when hipster Santa will be sitting on his PDX carpet throne wearing his red flannel and big sweater. He's also got a li'l bun, a typewriter, Naughty/ Nice tats and black low-top Converse. Pioneer Place, 700 SW 5th Ave., pioneerplace. com. Noon-8 pm.

FRIDAY, DEC. 9

Haley Bonar In a garage-folk field overstuffed with wispyvoiced waifs, Haley Bonar’s gloomy twang stands out, and her songwriting is among the sturdiest of the bunch. On Impossible Dream, Bonar forgoes the Gillian Welch-ish sparsity of her previous work in favor of electric, reverb-cranked indie rock—and the result is stunning. The Analog Cafe, 720 SE Hawthorne Blvd., analogpdx. com. 7 pm. $13 advance, $15 day of show. All ages.

SATURDAY, DEC. 10

Play The Big Lebowski Pinball Donny was a good bowler, and a good man. He was a man like us, who loved bowling, and also, probably, pinball.

Quarterworld just got the state’s only Dude-approved cabinet, which debuts at a party on Wednesday night. Show up tonight, though, and you can just roll, man. Quarterworld, 4811 SE Hawthorne Blvd.,quarterworldarcade.com. Opens 3 pm.

Get Busy HALEY BONAR

WHAT WE'RE EXCITED ABOUT DEC. 7-13

Spartacus and Sleeping Beauty in 70 mm The Hollywood Theatre will present 70 mm screenings of Stanley Kubrick’s historical Roman slave rebellion epic Spartacus and way-creepier-than-you-remember-it Disney movie Sleeping Beauty, which just so happens to be the first animated feature in 70 mm. Hollywood Theatre, 4122 NE Sandy Blvd., hollywoodtheatre.org. Spartacus screens at 7 pm Dec. 9-10. Sleeping Beauty screens at 1:30 and 4:30 pm Dec. 10-11. $12.

SUNDAY, DEC. 11

Triple Vintage Smackdown Jan-Marc Baker has quietly moved his wine out of the garage—and into a new bar called Garagiste. Sample three vintages of zinfandel and chardonnay at the North Portland wine bar, which is also known for its hyper-fresh Euro-centric grub. Garagiste, 1225 N Killingsworth St., janmarcwinecellars.com.

Noon-5 pm. $10.

MONDAY, DEC. 12

Love Actually The densest and sweetest fruitcake in all of cinematic Christmasdom is at the Mission Theater, so you can drink too much and cry into your beer for the 50th time when that creepy stalker fucks up his best friend’s marriage and when the other creepy stalker proposes marriage to a woman he’s never spoken to. Mission Theater, 1624 NW Glisan St., mcmenamins.com/ mission. 5:30 and 8:45 pm. $4.

Sean Jordan Sean Jordan returns from L.A. to host the Secret Society’s holiday comedy showcase. The extensive lineup features locals such as fellow Funniest 5 finalist Caitlin Weierhauser. The Secret Society, 116 NE Russell St., secretsociety. net. 9 pm. $12 advance, $15 day of show. 21+.

East Portland Holiday Bazaar Shop the best of the Numbers at the first-ever East Portland holiday market, where you can stock up on handmade holiday gifts, including art, jewelry, beauty products, crafts and cards by East Portland artists.

Jade/APANO Multicultural Space, 8114 SE Division St., spritelybean.com/holidaybazaar.

10 am-5 pm. Free admission.

Big Daddy Kane Hip-hop came of age in 2016, in the sense that it’s now old enough for the young cats to no longer feel in thrall to its history, and for the old heads to suddenly sound…well, old.

Queens legend Big Daddy Kane, whose tongue-twisting rhymes influenced everyone from Jay Z to Kendrick Lamar, has yet to weigh in on the intergenerational strife. He’ll let his timeless catalog do the talking. Star Theater, 13 NW 6th Ave., startheaterportland.com. 9 pm. $20. 21+.

Bill Ayers Bill Ayers—co-founder of lefty militants the Weather Underground and Obama’s best buddy, according to Rush Limbaugh—apparently used pipe bombs as a means of persuasion back in the day. Now he’s a professor, so he’d rather you Demand the Impossible! using words. Powell's City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., powells.com. 7:30 pm. Free.

TUESDAY, DEC. 13 Robert Glasper Experiment Keyboardist Robert Glasper has long been a guiding light for artists working at the intersection of jazz, hip-hop and gospel. His latest album, ArtScience, is the pinnacle of his cross-genre approach, tastefully blending heady modern jazz and slurry hip-hop with elements of virtually every subgenre of black American music since the dawn of the gramophone. Revolution Hall, 1300 SE Stark St., revolutionhall.com. 9 pm. $25. Under 21 permitted with guardian.

The Pylon Reenactment Society Post-punk legends Pylon led a flash-bang existence, forming in Athens, Ga., in the late ’70s, thrilling everyone who saw them, then breaking up just in time to see the bands they influenced (particularly R.E.M.) get huge. After the death of founding guitarist Randall Bewley in 2009, frontwoman Vanessa Briscoe Hay put together a new version of the band to tour the West Coast for the first time. Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., mississippistudios.com. 9 pm. $12 advance, $14 day of show. 21+.

Willamette Week DECEMBER 7, 2016 wweek.com

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HOLIDAY

GIFT GUIDE

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Season of Givin� giving back THE

to Our N o rt h

D E C E M B E R 2 1, 2 0 1 6

Donating A Day communi ty of p r o f i t p o rt l a n d

TO: ROY PITTMAN’S

Pennisula Wrestling Club C E L E B R AT I N G 4 0 Y E A R S O F S E R V I C E I N O R E G O N

Tis the Season to Support Local TA K E A D VA N TA G E O F YO U R I N C R E A S E D P U R C H A S E L I M I T S AT O U R O L C C L I C E N S E D D I S P E N S A R Y.

PRE-PACK AGED OUNCES OF SELECT SUNGROWN STRAINS $ 1 0 0 . 0 0 W H I L E S U P P L I E S L A S T.

6900 N Interstate Ave. Portland, OR | OPEN DAILY, 10am-10pm www.satchelpdx.com info@satchelpdx.com | 503-206-4725 |

@satchelpdx

Do not operate a vehicle or machinery under the influence of marijuana. Keep marijuana out of the reach of children. For use only by adults twenty-one years of age and older.

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HAPPY HOLIDAYS FROM WW!

FLOATING WORLD COMICS IS BRINGING JAPAN’S MOST FAMOUS OCTOPUS PORNOGRAPHER TO TOWN.

BY MATTHEW KORFHAGE

mkorfhage@wweek.com

1814 Legendary Japanese artist Katsushika Hokusai—best known for his portrayal of a tsunami as a threatening wall of little gropy fingers—paints a picture in his novel The Dream of the Fisherman’s Wife depicting an octopus performing consensual cunnilingus on an abalone diver named Tamatori.

1868 Dark times for tentacle porn. In a political rearrangement called the Meiji Restoration, imperial rule is reintroduced to Japan under Emperor Meiji, bringing with it increased censorship.

1945 After declaring victory by dropping two nuclear bombs nicknamed “Little Boy” and “Fat Man,” the United States bans censorship in Japan while still censoring anti-American rhetoric. Shrewdly, the Americans also ban all mention of censorship. The Japanese to this day have broadly interpreted the limits of free speech to involve the blurring of sex parts during sex.

1970 America, not Japan, films cinema’s first known lurid tentacle rape, an aggressive sexual assault by a face-tentacled monster in impresario Roger Corman’s Lovecraftian grotesquerie The Dunwich Horror. America repeats the gesture in 1981 with Sam Raimi’s The Evil Dead, Dead in which a woman is penetrated by a tree.

1986 The first tentacle penetration in Japanese anime appears in Yoshiki Takaya’s mechahorror cartoon Guyver: Out of Control.

A BRIEF HISTORY OF

Tentacle Porn 1986 Toshio Maeda, who would come to be k n ow n t o m a n g a fans as the “tentacle master,” creates his first, seminal work: Urotsukodoji. It features no tentacle sex. However, the notorious cartoon series created in 1987 by Hideki Takayama adds so much violent, terrifying tentacular sex that Maeda’s book becomes almost synonymous with assault-by-tentacle. Maeda called Takayama’s series “repugnant, cruel and sadistic, yet brilliant.”

1989 Maeda makes what’s considered the first great modern piece of tentacle-rape-fantasy erotica: Demon Beast Invasion. Maeda says he used tentacles or robot limbs so he could show full penetration without running afoul of Japanese censors.

Apparently violent rape by tentacles is considered less dirty than consensual sex that features a penis.

I L L U S T R AT I O N B Y K I M H E R B S T

The Bump

2007 Janis Martin brings tentacle porn to a much wider Portland audience than would ever conceivably seek it out, showing assault-laden, penetrative cartoons at her Northwest Portland izakaya, Tanuki.

This practice continues, meaning you can eat octopus while watching a giant octopus exact its terrifying revenge onscreen.

2010 Maeda starts a website with the option to join the “tentacle club” to view his full menagerie of angry, bulbous, pulsating sexual violation—with the option to sign up and stay at his house.

2016 Maeda’s original 1986 comic Urotsukodoji is translated and published in full in English for the first time.

GO: Toshio Maeda will appear in conversation with Tim Goodyear of the Comic Book Legal Defense Fund on Thursday, Dec. 8, at Floating World Comics, 400 NW Couch St., floatingworldcomics.com.

6 pm. Free.

1990s Tentacle porn’s heyday, centering mostly on horrid, violent, aggressive and oddly creative sexual assault. Maeda is the acknowledged master, with at least three series devoted to awful, awful things.

2001 Maeda receives a lifetime achievement award in New York City, where he is hailed as “the most influential erotic manga artist in Japan” and “the foundation for the entire ‘erotic-grotesque’ genre of Japanese anime.” He asks to have “Tentacle Master” inscribed on his tombstone. He then injures his hand in a motorcycle accident, ending his drawing career.

2005 Painter, photographer and porn actor Zak Smith releases his project 100 Girls and 100 Octopuses, parts of which now hang in London’s Saatchi Gallery.

Willamette Week DECEMBER 7, 2016 wweek.com

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I

Shandong www.shandongportland.com

FOOD & DRINK

Shandong Gin Hop Farm = WW Pick.

DRANK

Highly recommended.

By MATTHEW KORFHAGE. www.shandongportland.com

Editor: MARTIN CIZMAR. Email: dish@wweek.com. See page 3 for submission instructions.

WEDNESDAY, DEC. 7 Cascade Brewing 18th Anniversary Party

The best post-work drinks will be had in Southeast Portland all week, as Cascade Brewing celebrates 18 years in business with rare 4-ounce pours of selections from 2009 and 2010, including the much-lauded kriek. Cascade Brewing Barrel House, 939 SE Belmont St., cascadebrewingbarrelhouse.com.

Open noon daily. (6 pm for special tappings).

FRIDAY, DEC. 9 Vegan Iron Chef Date Night

Vegan Iron Chef is holding a holiday date night—cooking demos, vegan kitchen war stories, and tips for home “date nights.” And like all true date nights from the ’50s through the ’80s, this one’s Italian. Learn you some ’sketti Bolognese with pumpkin-seed-hemp Parmesan and Jersey-style raab, plus a limoncello-like dessert. It’s $15 a person, $25 a couple. Or, if you swing that way, $35 for a “trio.”

People’s Food Co-op, 3029 SE 21st Ave., 503-674-2642.

6 pm. $15.

St. Johns Winter Beer Fest

St. Johns is slowly becoming a beer-dense ’hood: multiple beer bars, multiple breweries. And stretching back six years, there’s this—the Winter Beer Fest. It’s $10 for a glass, but after that beer tastes are a St. Johns-y price of a single dollar all damn weekend— including fig beer from Block 15, German Christmas beer from Zoiglhaus, Alesong’s lovely quad and Heater Allen’s annual Santa Paws. Consider it a junior Holiday Ale Fest on a North Portland budget. Plaza in St. Johns, 8606 N Lombard St., 503-841-5522. Noon-6 pm.Free.

(ALESONG BREWING & BLENDING) Gin-barrel-aged IPA is one of those great brewing ideas that never seems to work out as well as it should. It makes a lot of sense to pair the flavors of hops with juniper and get a bottle-ready answer to the classic greyhound cocktail. Then again, most lose the fresh-hop flavors we love in IPAs. Well, Eugene’s Alesong threaded the needle. In Gin Hop Farm, a super-limited release we tasted at Roscoe’s last week, Alesong has managed to capture the full force of the grapefruit and blood orange notes in Pacifica hops, along with the piney juniper and light oak flavor of freshly emptied Ransom Old Tom gin barrels. The result was a rounded blend of earthy and sweet that presented intrigue in every sip. In the lagging Eugene beer scene, Alesong has quickly put itself on the map by winning a gold medal at this year’s Great American Beer Festival with a beer called Touch of Brett. This one is even better, if you can believe it. Recommended. MARTIN CIZMAR.

Scotch Barrel Aged Imperial Brown (PFRIEM FAMILY BREWERS)

You don’t get a lot of leathery beer—deepnoted stuff that tastes like a fat wallet, made for cigar smokers and those dudes in threepiece suits who rode the Titanic and lived.

Well, enter Pfriem’s scotch-barrel-aged imperial brown ale, whose very name sounds like old money but tastes new. While a lot of bourbon-barrel beers smack of spirituous fire and ash, the rounded malts of this dark ale have been deepened over a year steeping in barrels that once contained singlemalt from Macallan, packing 10.5 percent ABV without distracting liquor heat. It tastes like Christmas fruit and the warmth from Robert Burns’ hearth, a far kinder cup than bubbly to drink for auld lang syne. Recommended.

MATTHEW KORFHAGE.

SUNDAY, DEC. 11 3rd Annual PDX Nog-Off

Poke Mon Sake School

For the second month in a row, Poke Mon is offering sake classes that mostly involve drinking a bunch of sake while learning how it’s made, how to tell fancy from cheap, and what all those words like “yamahai” and “daiginjo” mean so you can look super-smart at Japanese restaurants. For $25, you get a bowl of poke and the sake you’re drinking, plus all that sexy, sexy knowledge. Email info@pokemonpdx.com if you want to reserve a slot, or just show up before 7 pm and roll the dice. Poke Mon, 1485 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 503-894-9743, pokemonpdx.com.

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4. Poke Mon 1. Kasbah Moroccan Cafe

201 NW Davis St., 971-544-0875.

For the four years Trump’s in office, we’re making a point to support as many Muslim-owned businesses as we can. Kasbah makes it easy, with heartwarming bastilla pastries, killer sandwiches and—oh man— wildly good spiced carrots and beets. $.

2. OP Wurst

126 SW 2nd Ave., 971-386-2199 (in Pine Street Market).

Did you know the only thing you have to do to make a hot dog into a breakfast hot dog is put some eggs and bacon on it? Now you’re totally justified getting the city’s best hot dog at, like, 8 am. Because it’s a breakfast hot dog now. With bacon and eggs. $.

1485 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 503-894-9743, pokemonpdx.com.

Our pop-in restaurant runner-up is both peak Portland and peak poke, serving delicious, sauced-up, sashimi-style albacore or octopus at an affordable price, with a side of sake—and if you’re rice-curious, it’s begun sake tastings and classes the second Sunday of each month. $$.

5. Prince Coffee

2030 N Willis Blvd., princecoffeepdx.com.

Kenton’s third-wavy, wood-grained and antique-chaired Prince Coffee is one of the very few places in Portland where you can get dailymade stroopwafels, a Dutch treat that sandwiches cinnamon-caramel sauce between two waffle-cookie wafers. $.

3. Afuri Ramen

921 SE 7th Ave, 503-468-5001, afuri.us.

The new Afuri space is ridiculously impressive—and so is the ramen.

The shio yuzu broth is the purest distillation of chicken and fish, the shoyu is deeper than Mishima, and that shiitake broth as rich as most meat broths. Pair them with sake from a very deep list. $$-$$$.

KASBAH MOROCCAN CAFE

THOMAS TEAL

Like hot buttered rum and basically every other holiday drink, eggnog is a taste acquired only through relentless optimism.

But if you love it, it goes deep.

So get the best: Bartenders from Headwaters, Deadshot/ Holdfast, Ataula, the Knock Back and Chesa will make extraspecial nogs, and you get to judge them while watching foxy elves do burlesque and sitting in the lap of the only Santa in Portland who matters.

Rontoms, 600 E Burnside St., 503-236-4536. 3-7 pm. $25.

Simple ApproAch

E M I LY J O A N G R E E N E

Bold FlAvor vegan Friendly

open 11-10

everyday

500 NW 21st Ave, (503) 208-2173 kungpowpdx.com

SOME BURGERS, SOME BEERS: A few laughs. Our troubles are over.

Your Wayfinder Way Finder HOW TO EAT WELL AT THE HYPED NEW INNER-EASTSIDE BREWPUB.

BY M A RT I N C I Z M A R

mcizmar@wweek.com

Well, it’s not the beer.

The most common explanation for why brewery taprooms struggle to deliver roundly excellent food is that they spend more time sweating their suds—not just their raison d’etre but the fount of all meaningful profit margins.

Wayfinder upends that idea, and a few others.

The shiny new Central Eastside Industrial District brewpub comes from a team that includes the affable and experienced Charlie Devereux, formerly of Double Mountain, plus Rodney Muirhead, whose Podnah’s Pit rose from a humble cart to become our Restaurant of the Year back in 2011.

Wayfinder has some very good food, great cocktails and very good collaboration beers. It does not yet have its own beer—brewmaster Kevin Davey has been collaborating all over town while waiting for his own system to be installed. It has some overly ambitious entrees that don’t quite deliver while doing a great job with standard pub fare.

Here’s a map for the menu.

SEEK: Beer Wayfinder was scheduled to open in the spring (in April, the Portland Mercury reported it was “a few weeks from opening”) but didn’t actually crack its doors until October. It’s nearly 2017, and we still haven’t had a purebred Pilsner from Davey, whose impressive résumé includes a stop at Chuckanut, the standout lagerhaus in Bellingham, Wash. But the collabs he’s done so far are impressive, especially a cloudy Bernie Bro IPA made with Zoiglhaus and a hoppy Pils made with Gigantic.

AVOID: Fish On four visits, we’ve had most of the menu. None of the fish dishes has quite worked. A disastrous albacore ($19) from the opening menu—ordered medium rare but served gray, without a hint of pink—was wisely scrapped. But even a recent grilled sockeye ($17) was a touch overcooked and quickly grew cold sandwiched between a heap of chilly chimichurri and pile of charred broccoli.

SEEK: Beer cocktails Working the big, woody bar, you’ll find local institution Jacob Grier, who literally wrote the book on beer cocktails. Grier is one of the most reassuring sights in this city—he’s always got something fun and new. Right now, the standout is a spicy-sweetsmoky beer cocktail called the Trigger Warning ($11), which combines cloudy IPA with lime, cilantro habanero syrup and barrel-aged cachaca.

Japanese Inspired Comfort Food

AVOID: Mashed potatoes I have a high tolerance for aggressive garlic. But the bulb-blasted mashed potatoes with an otherwise satisfyingly salty carne asada-style flank steak ($16) ruined my experience with it. Also: Why is carne asada served with mashed potatoes?

SEEK: Sausage Party platter Splitting a platter of the house sausages (three links with sauerkraut, mustard and potato salad is $17) is a great way to start your meal.

AVOID: Beer nuts They’re not so much “nuts” as almonds, and they’re lightly smoked and sopped in sugar. It’s a deep bowl for $4, but I’d greatly prefer some Chex-y filler.

SEEK: Burger and spicy nachos Given Muirhead’s past projects, it’s a little surprising that the two best things on the menu are smokeless standards you can get anywhere, executed flawlessly here. The diner burger with blue cheese ($12) might be the best brewpub burger in town.

The kitchen didn’t get too cute—it’s a simple slab of juicy beef topped with just the right proportions of lettuce, pickles and onion. The spicy nachos ($8) don’t have any meat, and don’t require it.

Ultra-crisp housemade chips are lightly and evenly topped with black bean puree, pico de gallo, creamy cheese and ultra-thin slivers of jalapeño and lettuce. Nearly every bit has everything in perfect proportion with no rooting or spooning required.

It’s an effortless blast of flavor, and the type of dish that’ll make you resent the labor-intensive nachos served elsewhere.

EAT: Wayfinder, 304 SE 2nd Ave., wayfinder.beer.

11 am-10 pm Sunday-Wednesday, 11 am-midnight Thursday-Saturday.

Willamette Week DECEMBER 7, 2016 wweek.com

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MUSIC Editor: MATTHEW SINGER. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, go to wweek.com/ submitevents and follow submission directions. All shows should be submitted two weeks or more in advance of event. Press kits, CDs and especially vinyl can be sent to Music Desk, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Please include show or release date information with all physical mailings. Email: msinger@wweek.com.

Fax: 243-1115.

WEDNESDAY, DEC. 7 Jim James, Twin Limb

[SOFT SOUL] My Morning Jacket has entered the “blandly solid” period of its recording career, but singer Jim James’ solo work is still deeply underrated. His previous album, 2013’s Region of Light and Sound of God, was the kind of uplifting record we all could use right now, an album of beguiling sounds shot through with the inclusive spirituality of George Harrison. James’ new one, Eternally Even, telegraphs its mood in the title.

It’s a perpetually even-keeled collection of soft-soul grooves that isn’t quite as easy to get lost in as its predecessor, but remains lovely nonetheless. It’s the most soulful thing from a dude who sings like Kermit since “Rainbow Connection.” MATTHEW SINGER. Roseland Theater, 8 NW 6th Ave., 971-230-0033. 8 pm. $30.

All ages.

August as a perfectly pitched, last of the summer jams. Though the duo behind it, ascendant 20-something producers Madeon and Porter Robinson, planned no collaborations beyond the three-minute single bookending each appearance, these concerts seem primarily concerned with showcasing the extended anime video for “Shelter” alongside arena-rock pyrotechnics and rather trippier multimedia spectaculars.

As babyfaced poster boy for the paperless generation, Robinson had already replaced the furious “complextro” of youth with electro-pop grandiosity by 2014’s full-length debut, Worlds. The North Carolinian DJ’s keening crossover ambitions always vaguely threatened an EDM without dance. Given current leanings, he might cut music as well. JAY HORTON. Memorial Coliseum, 300 N Winning Way, 503-235-8871. 8 pm. $35.

All ages.

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THURSDAY, DEC. 8 Porter Robinson & Madeon, Robotaki, Audien

TOP

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OUR 14 FAVORITE NON-MUSICAL SOUNDS, BY MATMOS 1. The rope on a flag pole whipping in the wind.

2. The sound of a VHS deck loading a videocassette tape.

3. A printing press in operation, perhaps printing an anti-Trump opinion piece.

4. The polyrhythm of roughly 30 seagulls crying at the same time.

5. An old cat purring.

6. The sound of automobile glass under your shoe.

7. The sound of neighbors shoveling snow.

8. Icelandic women speaking while drawing breath.

9. Sifting through Legos on Saturday morning.

10. Ripping off a long strip of plastic packing tape.

11. My stepfather’s histrionic sneeze.

12. Scraping toast to get the burnt bits off.

13. Using bolt cutters or tin snips on chicken wire.

14. The sound of a 7-inch record by the soft-rock group Bread being smashed on a concrete floor.

SEE IT: Matmos plays Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison St., with Jeff Carey and Bully Fae, on Wednesday, Dec. 7. 8:30 pm. $14. 21+.

JOSH SISK

[PASSION PIT PROJECT] Thrillingly infectious, comfortably au courant and blessedly disposable, “Shelter” swept clubland and Spotify alike amid the dog days of

JANETTE BECKMAN

PROFILE

= WW Pick. Highly recommended.

Prices listed are sometimes for advance ticket sales. At-the-door increases and socalled convenience charges may apply. Event lineups are subject to change after WW’s press deadlines.

Every Man THE ECLECTIC SOUND OF ROBERT GLASPER IS EVERYWHERE RIGHT NOW, WHETHER YOU KNOW IT OR NOT.

BY PA R KER HA LL

503-243-2122

Robert Glasper is the most important musician who doesn’t have to hide in public.

A two-time Grammy winner, the keyboardist has spent the past two decades performing with and composing for a who’s-who of jazz, soul and hip-hop artists. But he’s never really focused on grabbing the limelight for himself.

Instead, the 38-year-old has taken what began as separate, simultaneous careers in the upper echelons of New York jazz and neo-soul and joined them at the seams, becoming one of the unsung architects of modern black American music while maintaining an impressive amount of anonymity.

“Things really happened simultaneously for me,” he writes via email. “When I first got to NYC, I met [R&B singer] Bilal and we started playing hiphop and soul, and I was thrust into the hip-hop/ soul scene immediately, while at the same time touring with the likes of Roy Hargrove, Christian McBride and many other great jazz musicians.”

In helping bridge the gap between jazz and other contemporary styles, Glasper has emerged as one of the most important architects of the modern soundsphere. The popularity of record labels like Flying Lotus’ Brainfeeder, and of artists like Kendrick Lamar and Chance the Rapper, was built on a sound Glasper helped pioneer in the past 20 years.

His eclectic musical personality was shaped from an early age. A Houston native, he began playing piano under the direction of his mother, who was a jazz and blues singer as well as a gospel music director. Eventually, Glasper landed a spot at the prestigious High School for the Performing and Visual Arts—the same institution that nurtured a young Beyoncé—where he regularly performed with some of the brightest young talents in America.

“Myself and a lot of the students at the school played in church together, so we brought a lot of our jazz influence in and out of the church at an early age,” he writes. “So mixing genres was something we were always doing.”

But his career didn’t always exist at a sonic crossroads. For a long time, Glasper hid his multigenre musical ties in plain sight. The jazz world knew him when he signed with Blue Note Records at age 26 and impressed critics as a light-fingered composer of contemporary swing music with a colorful gospel influences. The hip-hop and soul worlds noticed his name in the liner notes to their favorite records, that early work with Bilal having melded into performances and production credits with icons like Mos Def, J Dilla, Erykah Badu, Kanye West, Jay Z and many others.

In 2012, the Robert Glasper Experiment—an electric quartet of like-minded heavyweights— released Black Radio, a Grammy-winning masterwork that elevated Glasper to his first notoriety outside the jazz world. Black Radio places the vocals of Bilal, Badu and others atop the quartet’s powerhouse instrumentalists. It’s a dense and razor-sharp blend of jazz, soul and hip-hop melodies and grooves that laid the foundation for much of the jazz-influenced rap that’s become popular.

Glasper’s latest album, ArtScience, is the pinnacle of his cross-genre approach, tastefully blending heady modern jazz and slurry hip-hop beats with elements of virtually every subgenre of black American music to hit speakers since the dawn of the gramophone. As he declares through vocal effects on the album’s lead track, “This Is Not Fear”: “The reality is, my people have given the world so many different styles of music. So why would I confine myself to one?”

ArtScience delivers on his mission statement.

Rhythms, scales and tones are borrowed from various subgenres, where Glasper assembles them into new and interesting shapes. Songs like “Day to Day” sound as though early-’80s Michael Jackson got really into funk-era Herbie Hancock, while choppy electric jazz like the track “In My Mind” could be lifted for the next Kendrick Lamar album.

While he’s steadily becoming more widely known as an artist in his own right, Glasper remains among the most sought-after collaborators for high-level stars. He is featured prominently on Maxwell’s 2016 tour de force BlackSUMMERS’night, and is listed as a co-producer of Common’s recent album, Black America Again. When Don Cheadle needed somebody to reimagine the music of Miles Davis for the 2015 biopic Miles Ahead, and when Anderson Paak needed some keys on this year’s acclaimed Malibu, Glasper got the call.

Asked how it feels to be at the forefront of such an important and difficult-to-classify musical space, Glasper is honest but unpretentious.

“I feel like there is always a trailblazer for everything, and we (my band and myself ) are the trailblazers for this particular movement,” he writes. “I’m happy to see people catching on.”

SEE IT: The Robert Glasper Experiment plays Revolution Hall, 1300 SE Stark St., on Tuesday, Dec. 13. 9 pm. $25. Under 21 permitted with legal guardian.

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MUSIC [PoP FoLK] Wild child isn’t considered an “indie powerhouse” for nothing. the Austin six-piece’s unique instrumental choices—violin, cello, ukelele, banjo, trumpet, bass, drums and keyboard—keeps its alt-folk sounds from coming off like just another nashville export, and helps explain how it secured the title “best indie band” at the Austin Music Awards. there’s also an appealing playfulness behind the tender imploring of lead singers Kelsey Wilson and Alexander Beggins.

Last year’s release, Fools, sounds a lot more anthemic and less folky than before, feeling more like a graduation into larger conceits than an alteration of the values that brought the band together. MAYA McoMIE. Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., 503288-3895. 9 pm. $20 advance, $22 day of show. 21+.

FRIDAY, DEC. 9

The Dandy Warhols, Telegram

[ALt-RocK] this one’s for the kids. Sort of. considered the wise elders of Portland rock, the Dandy Warhols have been an inspiration to the local indie scene for quite some time now, and will be taking to the crystal Ballroom stage to translate that into holiday cheer. Joined by London glam-kraut outfit telegram, their Land of Misfit toys jubilee will see them touching the hearts of wee ones while indulging the spirt of indie christmas. the party may be all-ages, but the adult entertainment really kicks into gear when DJ Rescue (aka Dandies keyboardist Zia Mccabe) jumps on the ones-and-twos downstairs at the Ringlers Pub after the show. cERVAntE PoPE. Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside St., 503225-0047. 7 pm. $20 advance, $25 day of show. All ages.

Shook Twins, Rabbit Wilde

[FoLK SIStERHooD] If you haven’t heard sister act Shook twins yet, you probably just moved here. And because there are a lot of you who fall in this category, here’s a primer: Katelyn and Laurie, identical Idahoborn multi-instrumentalists, turn out some of the most majestic folk in town. the duo has shared the stage with big names ranging from Ryan Adams to Blitzen trapper and enhanced creative concept albums such as Ben Darwish’s Morning Ritual. Since 2014’s What We Do, the siblings have released the pumping single “call Me out”— signaling, perhaps, a more aggressive approach ahead. MARK StocK. Revolution Hall, 1300 SE Stark St., No. 110., (503) 288-3895. 8 pm. $18 advance, $22 day of show. All ages.

cont. on page 28

INTRODUCING c o U R t E SY o F FAc E B o o K

Wild Child, Walker Lukens, Helyn Rain, Jeffrey Loft

Horse Thief, the Veers

[PRAIRIE RocK] Having your sophomore album produced by thom Monahan, who’s worked with the likes of Vetiver and Devandra Banhart, is quite a mark on a young band’s résumé. Such is the case for Horse thief, a quintet responsible for roadready folk rock in the vein of Midlake or Dawes. Being pals with fellow oklahomans the Flaming Lips has also helped its cause, but Horse thief is a true force in its own right. A touring band whose itinerary would make most bands feel weary has offered prime inspiration for an outfit that likes to dwell on life away from home, lyrically and sonically. MARK StocK. Bunk Bar, 1028 SE Water Ave., 503328-2865. 9 pm. $8. 21+.

Rooney, Royal Teeth, Swimm

[BRIGHt RocK] If you were wondering whatever became of california indie band Rooney, whose hit “When Did Your Heart Go Missing” and appearance on The O.C. made it a near-household name over a decade ago, that’s because the band went quietly on hiatus for a while after its third LP in 2010. Frontman Robert Schwartzman—younger brother of oddball alt-darling Jason Schwartzman—stayed occupied with solo records and film scores, but announced earlier in the year that he would release new material under the Rooney moniker, with none of the band’s original members. Washed Away is clean and shiny pop music with a twinge of retro and showered with Socal sunniness—the same vibe as Rooney’s early albums. not to say that Schwartzman hasn’t matured somewhat. there’s more synth and chamber-pop influences, surely an expansion of his different composing experiences in the interim. MAYA McoMIE. Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside St., 503-231-9663. 9 pm. $16 advance, $18 day of show. 21+.

Haley Bonar, Night Moves, Marty Marquis

[SLoWcoRE’S GARAGE-FoLK coUSIn] See Get Busy, page 19. The Analog Cafe, 720 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 503-206-7439. 7 pm. $13 advance, $15 day of show. All ages.

SATURDAY, DEC. 10 Arc Iris

[coSMIc FoLK] Rhode Island native Jocie Adams is a jill of many trades— or at least, she was. once a researcher for nASA and a classical composer, she spent time as the key vocalist for the Low Anthem beautifully fleshing out lasting tropes under a sepiatoned blanket of Americana. With the Arc Iris, she’s further developed that palette with more textures and orchestral shades of chamber pop. the trio’s sophomore album, Moon Saloon, is a clever tapestry of sounds and color that owe much to the LP’s jazzy keyboards and strings and Adams’ theatrical delivery. the earworms are plentiful, and as quirky as they are wonderful. BRAnDon WIDDER. Bunk Bar, 1028 SE Water Ave., 503-328-2865. 9 pm. $12. 21+.

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Willamette Week DECEMBER 7, 2016 wweek.com

R.I.P. WHO: Fuzz (vocals), Angel (guitar), Jon Mullett (bass), Willie D (drums).

SOUNDS LIKE: A leather- and denim-clad heavy-metal pro wrestler staring down the abyss.

FOR FANS OF: Pentagram, Black Sabbath, St. Vitus.

In a scene overrun with doom-rockers sporting expensive boutique tube amps competing to prove who can play the lowest and the slowest, Portland’s own R.I.P. wants to return to the music’s roots.

In other words, it wants to make doom metal great again.

“Those bands back in the day, no one really cared about ’em,” says the guitarist who goes by Angel. “It was just kinda like back when they were just, like, true freaks playing back in the ’80s. Only weirdos and freaks played metal and punk. Now, you can just go to the mall and be a metalhead or whatever. No one cared about it back then, and we’re trying to re-create that.”

Expectedly, In the Wind, R.I.P.’s upcoming debut album, does not pull any punches. It is truly raw, heavy and passionate—minimalist and deliberately regressive, full of fuzzy riffs all brought together via heavy-hitting vertebrae of percussion, blazing lead guitar and vocals that shake and howl with hurricane force. The band’s commitment to the aesthetics of old-school metal extends to its theatrical stage presence. Onstage, lead singer Fuzz wears a wide-studded belt that makes it look as if he just won a professional wrestling championship, and he holds a mic stand ornamented with a farmer’s scythe.

Traditional doom isn’t the only thing R.I.P. draws from, though.

“I’d say that our two main influences are ’90s hip-hop and pro wrestling,” Fuzz says. “You gotta look cool. You gotta look good or really bad. You gotta talk a lotta shit and you gotta back it up.”

CASEY MARTIN. SEE IT: R.I.P. plays World Famous Kenton club, 2025 n Kilpatrick St., with the Well and Beastmaker, on Saturday, Dec. 10. 9 pm. $5. 21+.

COURTESY OF WEAREPYLON.COM

PROFILE

THAT ’80s BAND: Pylon circa 1983.

Pylon Reenactment Society TUESDAY, DEC. 13

Regrets? When it comes to her band, post-punk cult legends Pylon, Vanessa Briscoe Hay has few. They had a short but influential career, and the way she sees it, that’s more than they ever hoped to achieve as Georgia art students in the late ’70s, when their only goal was to get written up by the New York rock press before dissolving into obscurity.

She admits, however, there are moments—like now, as she prepares to take a new incarnation of the group to cities the original never visited, in support of an upcoming archival live album—when she wonders if they could’ve done even more.

“It’s hard to get inside the head of a person at the age we were, like, 27, 28 years old, but we were just really being true to ourselves,” Hay says of the decision to end the band’s initial run. “We broke up, but listening to Pylon Live, I was kind of struck by the fact that we were a really good band, and thought, ‘Why did we break up?’

In retrospect, looking back at the past, that maybe wasn’t the best decision we ever made. But it was our decision, and we made it.”

Formed in Athens, Ga., in 1978, Pylon came around at a time when the city’s now-mythologized underground music scene was just beginning to emerge. Playing jaggedly funky post-punk, the band formed an American analog to Gang of Four, only with a looser, more party-ready approach, distinguished by Randall Bewley’s slashing guitar and Hay’s wildly erratic vocals. The B-52’s took notice early and brought them to New York, fulfilling their initial objective in a matter of months. After five years, two albums and several tours with the ’80s college rock elite, what started as an “art project” began to feel like an obligation, and the group kept its pact to disband as soon as it stopped being fun.

In its absence, Pylon became a cause célèbre of the burgeoning alt-rock era, particularly with fellow Athenians R.E.M., who covered Pylon songs and name-checked the band constantly in interviews.

Sporadic reunions would take place over the ensuing decades, but in 2009, Bewley suffered a fatal heart attack, effectively ending the group’s active history. As Hay says, “Pylon died when Randy died.”

Which is why she’s making it clear that the act she’s currently touring with isn’t Pylon, exactly. A few years ago, Hay—who still lives in Athens—performed a set of songs at an art show with a makeshift group of local musicians, and had enough fun to take them on the road as the Pylon Reenactment Society. She says it’s not an attempt to put a tombstone on the band’s legacy but to celebrate it, and prove that sometimes, great music can far outlive the artists who made it.

“There was a guy who came to an Atlanta show who’d flown in from somewhere in Michigan, and he had tears in his eyes. He said, ‘Please don’t let this music die,’” she says. “I’ve had several people approach me with those kind of feelings. They’re just so happy to hear it live again. I don’t know where to go with all of that. I don’t know what plans I can make for this project. But we’re having fun with it.” MATTHEW SINGER.

Pylon is dead. Long live Pylon!

SEE IT: The Pylon Reenactment Society plays Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., with Hurry Up, on Tuesday, Dec. 13. 9 pm. $12 advance, $14 day of show. 21+.

Willamette Week DECEMBER 7, 2016 wweek.com

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COURTESY OF BANDCAMP

MUSIC

PARTY FOR ONE: Diners play Smith Memorial Student Union at PSU on Monday, Dec. 12.

The Second Annual Holiday Heresy Party

[ROCK ’N’ ROLL] The image of rock ’n’ roll fashioned by old-school movie visuals paints the life of a rock fan as one of wasted nights chugging beer and slamming whiskey while ragging on your bros and celebrating beautiful women.

The style of anthems typically played amid these dive-bar antics is exactly what can be expected by the second Holiday Heresy lineup.

Good ol’ boys Raw Dog and the Close Calls and the Thrones supply rock rooted in Motörhead’s thrash, while post-Mormon gimmick punks the Latter Day Skanks try to prove that “White Boys Make the Best Lovers.” Tallwomen serve some of the heaviest riffage of the night, and all for a good cause—showgoers that come with canned food in tow receive $1 off the ticket price. Consider this a great return on that creamed-corn investment.

CERVANTE POPE. Twilight Cafe and Bar, 1420 SE Powell Blvd., 503232-3576. 9 pm. $7, $1 off with can of food. 21+.

SUNDAY, DEC. 11 Mirrors for Psychic Warfare

[AMBIENT METAL] Scott Kelly recently told Rolling Stone the past decade has been “the most prolific time of my life.” His main band, Neurosis, has a new album out and just played a sold-out, twonight stint in Portland. And now he’s already back on the road with another project, Mirrors for Psychic Warfare, which features Chicago metal producer Sanford Parker.

Musically, it’s ambient, industrial drone music that finds a nice intersection between Kelly’s penchant for dark folk and Parker’s expertise at carving haunting soundscapes.

NATHAN CARSON. Hawthorne Theatre, 1507 SE César E. Chávez Blvd., 503-233-7100. 9 pm. $10 advance, $13 day of show. 21+.

Arlo Indigo, the Breaking, Vandfald, Mero

[LOCAL TREATS] This stacked lineup marks the celebration of new singles from Portland acts Arlo Indigo and the Breaking. Former Noble Firs frontman Jeremiah Brunnhoelzl has reinvented himself in his relatively new project Arlo Indigo, which fits in well with a burgeoning “weirdo pop” scene that also contains bands like Reptaliens and Fog Father. Its last EP, Dream Boat, was drenched with chillwave vibes and ’80s pop production. In a note on its Bandcamp page, the Breaking prides itself as a ’90s alternative rock revival band and criticizes the “faddish” Portland music scene—a bit unfair, considering the scene is so fractured and disparate, but I would definitely prefer to listen to the earnest vocals of Adam Sweeney wailing away on a song like “Gone Electric” than another crappy psych band filled with industry homies.

BLAKE HICKMAN. Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison St., 503-239-7639. 8:30 pm. $7. 21+.

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Cave Singers, Acapulco Lips

[FOLK NOIR] Seattle folkies the Cave Singers self-released their fifth studio album, Banshee, after hopping from Matador to Jagjaguwar for its murky predecessor, No Witch. It used to be that Pete Quirk’s Dylan-indebted whine could contend with Portland’s own Colin Meloy for the Northwest’s most nasal voice, but on Banshee, the Singers allow their vocal timbre to blend in with Quirk and former Pretty Girls Make Graves bassist Derek Fudesco’s textured, opalescent guitar work that sounds a bit like the Band imitating Joshua Treeera U2. CRIS LANKENAU. Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., 503-288-3895. 9 pm. $18. 21+.

Big Daddy Kane, Vursatyl, Grand Royale

[CLASSIC HIP-HOP] See Get Busy, page 19. Star Theater, 13 NW 6th Ave., 503-248-4700. 9 pm. $20. 21+.

Dungeon Brothers, MG Productions

[RP-G’s] The anonymous, robed rap duo Dungeon Brothers go by the stage names Sludge and Homunculus, but they are actually real-life brothers, born and raised in Portland. After a decade skulking around the fringes of the local scene, Dungeon Brothers finally unleashed a full-length self-titled album full of fantasy-inflected rhymes based on Dungeons & Dragons back in April of this year. Skits involving psionic powers and apothecaries help create a listening experience that leverages classic hip-hop frameworks while dropping deep knowledge of Deities and Demigods. Strength 18.

Intelligence 18. Dexterity 18. Charisma 18. NATHAN CARSON. Valentines, 232 SW Ankeny St. 9 pm. $5. 21+.

MONDAY, DEC. 12 The Album Leaf, Rituals of Mine, Keith Sweaty, Lorna Dune

[AMBIENT POP] Dropping out of the San Diego hardcore scene to make the kind of shimmering New Age electro-pop you’d hear in the lobby of a boutique hotel is indeed a bizarre left turn. But the Album Leaf’s Jimmy Lavalle still deserves applause for taking Brian Eno’s audio wallpaper and giving it just enough dynamics and feel to make it accessible to the emo kids who stumbled upon it by way of The O.C. He’s reached the point where each record is awash in sameness, but the vaguely dancey beeps and boops of this year’s Between the Waves are still essential morning-after listening for anyone whose soft spot for the lone Postal Service record has yet to turn to stone. PETE COTTELL. Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside St., 503231-9663. 9 pm. $16 advance, $18 day of show. 21+.

Diners, Cool American, Lutra, Fair Tow

[VINTAGE POP] With Three, Diners architect Tyler Broderick has assembled an immaculate collection of pop songs that manage to recall some of the best moments of ’60s and

DATES HERE

The Pretenders

[BRASS IN POCKET] Chrissie Hynde, now and forever, does not give a fuck. That said, by sticking with the Pretenders imprimatur through a daunting roster of hired hands and forgettable albums after the original bassist and guitarist overdosed in quick succession, she’s rather diluted the critical reputation of an act deservedly ranked among the ’80s’ best. During the band’s 2005 Rock and Roll Hall of Fame induction, she freely admitted they’d functioned as a glorified tribute act for the past two decades—and continued along the same scattershot pattern. The Pretenders’ 10th full-length, an illconceived move toward vintage soul helmed by fellow Akronite Dan Auerbach of the Black Keys, was released last month. It’s called Alone.

JAY HORTON. Roseland Theater, 8 NW 6th Ave., 971-230-0033. 8 pm.

Sold out. 21+.

CLASSICAL, JAZZ & WORLD PSU Orchestra Remix

[SYMPHONIC REMIXES] When David Bowie re-released one of his greatest albums, 1977’s Heroes, in 1991, the CD sported a haunting, unreleased bonus instrumental composed

by Bowie and co-creator Brian Eno, “Abdulmajid”—the surname of the model Iman, whom Bowie married the next year. Composer Philip Glass heard it, expanded it and made it an evocative movement in one of his two Bowie orchestral extravaganzas, the “Heroes” Symphony. That’s one of two orchestral “remixes” the Portland State orchestra plays in this fascinating show, the other being 20th-century Argentine nuevo-tango composer Astor Piazzolla’s Four Seasons of Buenos Aires. Taking off from Vivaldi’s familiar concertos, it becomes a striking, Latin American evocation of the seasons in his native city. The orchestra also plays music by French composer George Bizet, but not Carmen.

Instead, it’s his folky theater music for an 1872 tragic play called The Girl From Arles. BRETT CAMPBELL. Mission Theater, 1624 NW Glisan St., 503-223-4527. 7:30 pm WednesdayThursday, Dec. 7-8. $15 advance, $20 day of show. All ages.

Oregon Symphony presents Gospel Christmas

[GOSPEL & CLASSICAL POPS] For the 18th year, the Oregon Symphony joins forces with the Northwest Community Gospel Choir for a hand-clapping, hip-shaking, halleulujah-shouting Christmas celebration, transforming the Schnitz from a stuffy concert hall to a gospel church resounding with some of the most incredible voices in Portland. This year’s selection includes traditional favorites like “Hark the Herald Angels Sing” and “Carol of the Bells,” but thankfully favors gospel choir tours de force like Donnie McClurkin’s “Who Would’ve Thought” and Ricky Dillard’s “Celebrate the King.” All are heavily Christian, and some aren’t even seasonal, but regardless of how you feel about Christmas (or if you even celebrate it), this is one of the most electric shows the symphony puts on all year. ISABEL ZACHARIAS. Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall, 1037 SW Broadway, 503-248-4335. 7:30 pm Friday-Saturday, 4 pm Sunday, Dec. 9-11. $35-$115. All ages.

For more Music listings, visit

PROFILE CO U R T E SY O F A N DYSTO K E S M U S I C .CO M

’70s pop while still having a distinctly modern orientation and lo-fi slacker aesthetic. Songs like “Fifteen on a Skateboard” sound like cuts on a modernized Pet Sounds, a wistful recollection of moments past set against an ornate pop-rock arrangement. “Peace in Mind” could be an outtake from Paul McCartney’s Ram, though its refrain of “Try to keep it moving on in the funniest of times” might be the quintessential mantra of 2016. BLAKE HICKMAN. PSU Smith Memorial Student Union, 1825 SW Broadway, 503-973-5451. 7 pm. $6, free with student ID. All ages.

Andy Stokes

SATURDAY, DEC. 10 One night in 1991, while he was in Japan, Andy Stokes found his calling.

On tour with his funk group, Cool’r, Stokes had a night off in Tokyo.

Through a friend, he was invited to catch Parliament-Funkadelic, which happened to be performing in the city’s neon-gleaming expanse. From backstage, Stokes watched as George Clinton and company roared through a string of P-Funk classics. “I was like a kid in a candy factory,” he says. “I was just happy to be in the building.”

As it turns out, Clinton and fellow luminary Charlie Wilson had caught Stokes’ set with Cool’r the night before, and came away impressed. Seeing Stokes in the wings, Clinton began to goad him on. When the band ripped into the next jam, Clinton ushered the budding Portland singer onstage and handed him the mic.

“I’m tired,” Clinton puffed. “You front the band.”

Moments later, the kid who started out singing James Brown to a broomstick in his parents’ living room was crushing “Atomic Dog” for a sold-out crowd. “I could not believe it,” Stokes says with a chuckle. “There I was, wearing lime-green shorts and a Batman shirt when George pulled me out there. If I died after that, it would have been fine by me.”

Fortunately, something else happened. After the gig, Clinton took Stokes aside and urged him to go solo. “He told me, ‘You’ve got something special inside you. You’ve got to bring it out,’” he says.

Back in Portland, a renewed Stokes began assembling his own group. Twenty-five years later, the Andy Stokes Band gigs regularly throughout the region. In addition, Stokes has been known to perform in capacities that are unconventional for an R&B singer: He’s been on Grimm, he’s sung the national anthem before Trail Blazers games, and he even voiced a California Raisin.

And, of course, he’s made records. His new EP, Full Circle, was produced by Ralph Stacy, who’s worked with the likes of Luther Vandross and Babyface. It’s well-stocked with buoyant guitars and textured synths, all accompanied by Stokes’ lush harmonies and baby-making leads. The project was put together by Marlon McClain, bandleader of one of Portland’s earliest and most notable funk acts, Pleasure.

The title Full Circle stems from an incident that occurred in the early aughts. According to Stokes, identity theft wiped his accounts clean. “I lost everything,” he says. “One day I was driving a convertible. The next day, I was calling the bank to take it away. And there was nothing the bank would do for me. I was out.” After years of incessant gigging, Stokes has begun recouping his losses, with Full Circle a testament to his plight.

“Through it all, it’s the fans that stayed behind me,” he says. “It’s the music that saved my life. When the time comes, I want to be the artist that puts Portland soul on the map. This town has had my back, so it’s the least I can do to return the favor.” BOBBY SMITH. A Portland R&B staple comes full circle.

SEE IT: Andy Stokes plays Jimmy Mak’s, 221 NW 10th Ave., on Saturday, Dec. 10. 8 pm. $12. Under 21 permitted until 9:30 pm.

Willamette Week DECEMBER 7, 2016 wweek.com

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Willamette Week DECEMBER 7, 2016 wweek.com

MUSIC CALENDAR WED. DEC. 7

Holocene

1001 SE Morrison St. SLØTFACE

Jimmy Mak’s

Ash Street Saloon

221 NW 10th Ave. Mel Brown B3 Organ Group

Doug Fir Lounge

LaurelThirst Public House

225 SW Ash St Claire Nelson

830 E Burnside St. An Evening with Kim Richey

Holocene

1001 SE Morrison St. Matmos, Jeff Carey

Jimmy Mak’s

221 NW 10th Ave. David Giuntoli, “Sinatra, The Man and His Music”; The Christopher Brown Quartet, Mel Brown Quartet

LaurelThirst Public House

2958 NE Glisan St Strange and the Familiars with Will Stafford and Cosmic Rose; Anita Margarita & the Rattlesnakes

For more listings, check out wweek.com.

COURTESY Of ANTI-

= WW Pick.

Highly recommended.

Editor: Matthew Singer. TO HAVE YOUR EVENT LISTED, send show information at least two weeks in advance on the web at wweek.com/ submitevents. Press kits, CDs and especially vinyl can be sent to Music Desk, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Please include show or release date information with all physical mailings.

Email: music@wweek.com.

2958 NE Glisan St Jay Cobb Anderson; Ridgerunners (Lynn Conover, Billy Kennedy, Joe Baker & Tim Acott)

First United Methodist Church 1838 SW Jefferson St. Oregon Repertory Singers

Hawthorne Theatre

3939 N Mississippi Ave. The Paper Kites

The Goodfoot

Roseland Theater

Mississippi Studios

The Old Church

Portland Center Stage

Tony Starlight Showroom

8 NW 6th Ave Young Thug, 21 Savage

3939 N Mississippi Ave. Cave Singers, Acapulco Lips

The Analog Cafe

720 SE Hawthorne Blvd.

Will Koehnke / Halston Ray / Synful Syrens / Brian Garland

Revolution Hall

The Goodfoot

600 E Burnside St Donte Thomas, Bocha, Stewart Villain

The Old Church

13 NW 6th Ave. Big Daddy Kane, Vursatyl, Grand Royale

Roseland Theater

The Goodfoot

2845 SE Stark St Shafty

The Liquor Store

3341 SE Belmont St, The Sadists / Vincent Van Whoa / Street Champs

The Old Church

1422 SW 11th Ave Let Us Sing! Select Portland Public School Choirs Celebrate the Season; Heartstrings Duo

Valentines

232 SW Ankeny St When The Future Was Now! EP2 featuring legendary author John Shirley

White Eagle Saloon 836 N Russell St The Grahams

THURS. DEC. 8 Aladdin Theater

3017 SE Milwaukie Ave Colin Meloy: A Benefit for Victory Academy

Alberta Rose

3000 NE Alberta St White Album Christmas

Ash Street Saloon

225 SW Ash St Second Player Score, Cellar Door, Kings And Vagabonds

Bunk Bar

1028 SE Water Ave. Ellington Willoughby and the Andrew Jacksons present: The Moonflower Album Release Experience

Crystal Ballroom

1332 W Burnside St Phantogram

Duff’s Garage

The Analog Cafe

BARD OF A FEATHER: Arc Iris plays Bunk Bar on Saturday, Dec. 10.

The Secret Society

116 NE Russell St Thursday Swing! Featuring Hot Club Time Machine, The Newport Nightingales

Valentines

232 SW Ankeny St Chelsea

Veterans Memorial Coliseum

300 N Winning Way Porter Robinson & Madeon, Robotaki, Audien

White Eagle Saloon 836 N Russell St Gabriel Cox

FRI. DEC. 9 Aladdin Theater

Oregon Repertory Singers

Jimmy Mak’s

221 NW 10th Ave. Patrick Lamb’s “Holiday Soul”

LaurelThirst Public House

2958 NE Glisan St Fernando; Woodbrain

Marylhurst University

17600 Pacific Highway (Hwy 43), Marylhurst OR 97036 Scott Kritzer

Mississippi Studios

3939 N Mississippi Ave. Charlie Hunter Quartet

Ponderosa Lounge

3017 SE Milwaukie Ave NW Natural Holidays with the Trail Band

10350 N Vancouver Way, Whisky Union

Alberta Rose

1300 SE Stark St #110 KIDZ BOP Live - Life Of The Party Tour

3000 NE Alberta St White Album Christmas

Alberta Street Pub

1036 NE Alberta St LoveJoy presented by Jon Ostrom

Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall

1037 SW Broadway Oregon Symphony presents Gospel Christmas

Ash Street Saloon

225 SW Ash St Coast2Coast Live, Cool Nutz, DJ Fatboy

Bunk Bar

1028 SE Water Ave. Horse Thief, the Veers

Doug Fir Lounge

830 E Burnside St. Rooney, Royal Teeth, Swimm

Fremont Theater

First Baptist Church

1507 SE César E. Chávez Blvd.

RKCB

Star Theater

1422 SW 11th Ave Damian McGinty: This Christmas Time

Duff’s Garage

Hawthorne Theatre

Rontoms

2845 SE Stark St Jelly Bread, 45th Street Brass Band

2530 NE 82nd Ave Ziplander; Zach Bryson & Meat Rack 2393 NE Fremont Street SufiJOE

PSU Smith Memorial Student Union

1825 SW Broadway Ave Diners, Cool American, Lutra, Fair Tow

3552 N Mississippi Ave Pokey Twig Christmas Songs

Mississippi Pizza

1300 SE Stark St #110 Storm Large Holiday Ordeal

8218 N. Lombard St Butcher Babies, Children of the Mushroom

8 NW 6th Ave Jim James, Twin Limb

Mississippi Studios

Revolution Hall

The Fixin’ To

1300 SE Stark St #110 Storm Large Holiday Ordeal

3552 N Mississippi Ave Mr. Ben

2958 NE Glisan St Freak Mountiain Ramblers; The Hollerbodies (all ages)

Mississippi Studios

3939 N Mississippi Ave. Jonathan Tyler

2958 NE Glisan St Kung Pao Chickens

Holocene

128 NW 11th Ave. Happy Hour with The Quadraphonnes

Mission Theater

1624 NW Glisan St. PSU Orchestra Remix

LaurelThirst Public House

Mississippi Pizza

LaurelThirst Public House

3939 N Mississippi Ave. Wild Child, Walker Lukens, Helyn Rain, Jeffrey Loft

Portland Country Underground

1507 SE César E. Chávez Blvd.

Mirrors For Psychic Warfare 1001 SE Morrison St. Arlo Indigo, the Breaking, Vandfald, Mero

Mississippi Studios

[DEC. 7-13]

2530 NE 82nd Ave The StrangeTones 909 SW 11th Ave. Portland Baroque Orchestra performs Handel’s Messiah

First United Methodist Church 1838 SW Jefferson St.

Revolution Hall

Smart Collective

6923 SE Foster Rd. Penalty Kick, Ah God, Frenz, Rod, GrandFather

The Analog Cafe

720 SE Hawthorne Blvd.

Haley Bonar, Night Moves, Marty Marquis

The Firkin Tavern

1937 SE 11th Ave The Dovecotes, Paper Brain, Down Gown

The Fixin’ To

8218 N. Lombard St Genders, Tele Novella

The Old Church 1422 SW 11th Ave Col. JD Wilkes

The O’Neil Public House

6000 NE Glisan St. Eric Leadbetter Duo; Zindu

The Secret Society 116 NE Russell St Pete Krebs and his Portland Playboys

Valentines

232 SW Ankeny St

Institute For Creative Dying, Halfbird, The Modern Ass Jazz Singers

White Eagle Saloon

836 N Russell St Gill Landry (of Old Crow Medicine Show); Cool Change

SAT. DEC. 10 Aladdin Theater

3017 SE Milwaukie Ave NW Natural Holidays with the Trail Band

Alberta Rose

3000 NE Alberta St White Album Christmas

Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall

1037 SW Broadway Oregon Symphony presents Gospel Christmas

Ash Street Saloon

225 SW Ash St Kill Frankie, Songs for Alice

Bunk Bar

1028 SE Water Ave. Arc Iris

Crystal Ballroom

1332 W Burnside St The Dandy Warhols, Telegram

Duff’s Garage

2530 NE 82nd Ave Joe Baker

First Baptist Church 909 SW 11th Ave. Portland Baroque Orchestra performs Handel’s Messiah

Jimmy Mak’s

221 NW 10th Ave. Andy Stokes, “Holiday Cheer”

Kenton Club

2025 N Kilpatrick St R.I.P., Beastmaker, the Well

Landmark Saloon

4847 SE Division St, Kaeley w/ Paul Brainard

LaurelThirst Public House 2958 NE Glisan St

Dusu Mali Band; The Ukeladies

The Secret Society

720 SE Hawthorne Blvd.

Our Last Night / Hands Like Houses, The Color Morale, Out Came The Wolves

Lombard Pub

116 NE Russell St The Jenny Finn Orchestra; The Dalharts, The Jumptown Aces

The Liquor Store

3416 N Lombard St Meltones, Shed, inc.

Mississippi Pizza

Twilight Cafe and Bar

The Lovecraft Bar

3552 N Mississippi Ave Lorna Miller: for kids

Ponderosa Lounge

10350 N Vancouver Way, Jessie Leigh

Revolution Hall

1300 SE Stark St #110 Shook Twins, Rabbit Wilde

Sanchez Cantina

10075 SW Barbur Blvd #7 Cumbia Night

Skyline Tavern

8031 NW Skyline Blvd Groove Revelation

Star Theater

13 NW 6th Ave. Stumptown Soul Holiday Spectacular

The Analog Cafe

720 SE Hawthorne Blvd.

Grizzly “Farewell Show” w/ Glacier Veins

The Firkin Tavern

1937 SE 11th Ave Folksinger // KOSKI// Sam Emerich

The Goodfoot

2845 SE Stark St McTuff

The Liquor Store

1420 SE Powell The Second Annual Holiday Heresy Party

Valentines

232 SW Ankeny St ELLIOT SHARP with The Boodlers, Mike Gamble, Henry Franzoni, Fred Chalenor

White Eagle Saloon 836 N Russell St Garcia Birthday Band

SUN. DEC. 11 Aladdin Theater

3017 SE Milwaukie Ave NW Natural Holidays with the Trail Band

Alberta Rose

Ash Street Saloon

The Lovecraft Bar

Bunk Bar

The Old Church

Crystal Ballroom

1422 SW 11th Ave Michael Allen Harrison’s Christmas

The O’Neil Public House 6000 NE Glisan St. Tumbledown

The Raven

3100 NE Sandy Blvd Zax Vandal, THE ORNERY, Jessie Flatt, Alex Kirk Amen

225 SW Ash St The New Up

1028 SE Water Ave. Muuy Biien 1332 W Burnside St Nathaniel Rateliff

3017 SE Milwaukie Ave TOH KAY (Tomas of Streetlight Manifesto)

Ash Street Saloon 225 SW Ash St God Bless America

Crystal Ballroom

1332 W Burnside St The Head and The Heart

Duff’s Garage

2530 NE 82nd Ave Hi Fi Mojo

Fremont Theater

LaurelThirst Public House

116 NE Russell St Night Animals CD Release, Higuera, Owl Paws, John Miller

Valentines

232 SW Ankeny St Dungeon Brothers, MG Productions

White Eagle Saloon 836 N Russell St Sunday Supper with Bordertown

225 SW Ash St Dwight Church, Dwight Dickinson, Eddie Kancer

Crystal Ballroom

1332 W Burnside St Bastille

Dante’s

350 West Burnside Karaoke From Hell

Doug Fir Lounge

830 E Burnside St. The Album Leaf, Rituals of Mine, Keith Sweaty, Lorna Dune

First Baptist Church

Duff’s Garage

First Baptist Church

Jimmy Mak’s

909 SW 11th Ave. Portland Baroque Orchestra performs Handel’s Messiah

TUES. DEC. 13 Aladdin Theater

The Secret Society

909 SW 11th Ave. Portland Baroque Orchestra performs Handel’s Messiah (Highlights)

2530 NE 82nd Ave Dan Miller Celebration

1125 SE Madison St, Sinatra by Starlight Celebrate 101 years of Sinatra

Jimmy Mak’s

1422 SW 11th Ave Michael Allen Harrison – Christmas

Ash Street Saloon

1037 SW Broadway Oregon Symphony presents Gospel Christmas

1422 SW 11th Ave Michael Allen Harrison

The Old Church

American Legion Hall

Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall

2845 SE Stark St Sonic Forum

2393 NE Fremont Street Future Historians, Hannah Yeun

MON. DEC. 12

2104 NE Alberta Liedertafel Harmonie Christmas Concert

8 NW 6th Ave The Pretenders

421 SE Grand Ave Sataray, Solace

3000 NE Alberta St The Mystery Box Show

3341 SE Belmont St, December To Forget: Sun Angle + Wimps 421 SE Grand Ave Volt Divers

3341 SE Belmont St, Psychomagic + Acid Tongue

Roseland Theater

221 NW 10th Ave. Dan Balmer Trio

221 NW 10th Ave. Mel Brown Septet

2958 NE Glisan St Mick Overman & the Maniacs; Jackstraw

Mississippi Studios

3939 N Mississippi Ave. Pylon Reenactment Society // Hurry Up

Portland Abbey Arts

7600 N Hereford Ave. Karyn Ann, Parfait Bassale, and Kacey Anderson

Raven and Rose

1331 SW Broadway Na Rósaí - Traditional Irish Music

Revolution Hall

1300 SE Stark St #110 Robert Glasper Experiment

The Analog Cafe

720 SE Hawthorne Blvd.

Ultra Magnetic

The Goodfoot

2845 SE Stark St Jimmy Russell’s Party City 2034

The Liquor Store

3341 SE Belmont St, Vextations / Dan Dan / The Late Gate

The Old Church

1422 SW 11th Ave Michael Allen Harrison – Christmas

White Eagle Saloon

836 N Russell St The Hillwilliams and Scratchdog Stringband

LaurelThirst Public House 2958 NE Glisan St

Willamette Week DECEMBER 7, 2016 wweek.com

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MUSIC

Robt Sarazin Blake

Appearing at Al’s Den Dec. 11-17

c o u R t e S y o f R i c H i e S tA X X

NEEDLE EXCHANGE

with with guests: guests:

Sun: Sun: Ivy Ivy Ross Ross Mon: Mon: Leigh Leigh Jones Jones Tues: Tues: Corwin Corwin Bolt Bolt & & Jeff Jeff Donovan Donovan Wed: Wed: Preston Preston Howard Howard & & Conor Conor O’Bryan O’Bryan Thurs: Thurs: Jacob Jacob Jolliff Jolliff Fri: Fri: Mick Mick Overman Overman Sat: Sat: Johanna Johanna Warren Warren

Al’s Den at Crystal Hotel • 303 SW 12th Ave.

#wweek

Richie Staxx Years DJing: 18.

Genres: House, tech house, deep house.

Where you can catch me regularly: Wednesday nights at Bar XV for Deep House Wednesdays, and Thursdays at the Raven for the 11-year-running House Call.

Craziest gig: Everyone has a different idea of crazy, but for me one of the most memorable was playing in a cave on Maui.

My go-to records: Just about anything from Green Velvet or Gene Farris.

Don’t ever ask me to play…: Please, no requests! I do my best to create a story or journey when playing music. I go off feeling, and the feeling of the floor in front of me. Let me share with you the reward of hours and hours of searching and digging for just the right tunes for this experience.

NEXT GIG: Richie Staxx spins at Deep House Wednesdays at Bar XV, 15 SW 2nd Ave., on Wednesday, Dec. 7. 9 pm. 21+.

The Raven

3100 NE Sandy Blvd House Call w/ Richie Staxx & Tetsuo

Tube

WED. DEC. 7 Fortune

329 NW Couch St Level Up with QUAZ (hip hop, r&b)

Ground Kontrol

511 NW Couch St. TRONix (techno)

The Lovecraft Bar

421 SE Grand Ave Event Horizon w/ DJ Straylight (darkwave, industrial, synth)

The Raven

3100 NE Sandy Blvd Wicked Wednesdays (hip hop, soul, funk)

Tube

18 NW 3rd Ave. Easy Egg

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Willamette Week DECEMBER 7, 2016 wweek.com

THURS. DEC. 8 Crush Bar

1400 SE Morrison Queer Latin Night

Dig A Pony

736 SE Grand Ave. A Train & Eagle Sun King

Ground Kontrol

511 NW Couch St. DJ Rob F Switch DJ EPOR

Moloko

3967 N. Mississippi Ave. Sappho (disco)

The Lovecraft Bar 421 SE Grand Ave Shadowplay (goth, industrial)

The Paris Theatre

6 SW 3rd Ave EDX at Madhouse PDX

18 NW 3rd Ave. DJ Jack

FRI. DEC. 9 45 East

315 SE 3rd Ave Route 94

Black Book

20 NW 3rd Ave The Cave (rap)

Crystal Ballroom

1332 W Burnside St 80s Video Dance Attack

Dig A Pony

736 SE Grand Ave. Maxx Bass (funk, boogie, rap)

Fremont Theater

2393 NE Fremont Street Holiday Dance Mixer w/ DJ Drew Groove (lounge, jazz, soul)

1.

Pearl Tavern

231 NW 11th Ave., 503-954-3796, pearltavernpdx.com.

Surprise! joey Blueskies’ Pearl Tavern is actually a damn good upscale bar of the sort that spans Chicago’s entire downtown—with reasonable steak pricing, solid fried chicken, terrific beer nuts and an even better angostura fizz cocktail.

julian alexander

BAR REVIEW

2.

Hale Pale

2733 NE Broadway, 503-662-8454, halepele.com.

Holy crap, the drink is on fire! despite the risk of eyebrow loss, we wholeheartedly recommend you stop at Hale Pele for a winter sip of anything with flames on top. Seriously, though.

3.

The Fixin’ To

8218 N Lombard St., 503-477-4995, thefixinto.com.

We always done loved this rickety little bar up in St. johns. Then they done expanded and added a stage, turning the Fixin’ To into the concert venue the ’hood has long needed.

We’s fixing to move in.

4.

Bar Casa Vale

215 SE 9th Ave., 503-477-9081, barcasavale.com.

The hallowed ground of former concert club la luna is now the dim, drunky, comfortably hip tapas-and-cocktails bar the town’s been missing.

5.

Great Notion

2204 NE Alberta St., No. 101, 503-548-4491, greatnotionpdx.com. not a week goes by that we don’t get a hankering for this yearold alberta brewery’s signature cloudy iPas, exotic stouts and puckery sours. it’s also the best spot in town to bring the tykes while you sip and chat.

YOU CAN’T ALWAYS GET WHAT YOU WANT: I might never fully get past the loss of P.R.E.A.M. The Biggie-bumpin’ Neapolitan pizzeria shuttered this past summer after just 15 months, dragged under by turbulent staff changes and a quick hook from an ownership group that heavily finances new openings with debt. It was not only a blow to those who love pizza, classic hip-hop and boom boxes, but to anyone who wants to see this city become aesthetically diverse, instead of continuing as one big Cracker Factory churning out whimsy and woolen caps. So there’s something bittersweet about Associated (2131 SE 11th Ave., 503-231-2809), the cozy neighborhood pizza pub that took over the space in October. On one hand, Nick Ford’s perfect pies have been preserved along with the wood-fired Gianni Acunto oven that makes them. Ford’s apprentice nailed my classic sausage-and-basil pie on a Monday night. The crust was soft but chewy, with a ribbon of crispness, and the sausage and pepperoni basil walloped with fat and herbs. The pies at this casual counter-service spot are all $13 and rival Ken’s—seriously. There’s now a massive projector screen showing the Packers, a $7 cocktail made by pouring rum into coconut La Croix, and a Stones-heavy classic-rock soundtrack. Things done changed, indeed. The three house cocktails we tried were a letdown—especially a Palm Desert ($9) with bourbon, IPA and Aperol that ended up tasting like a watery drop shot. And for some reason, those very special pizzas are paired with a small selection of tacos (all $2.50) that feature dry proteins on thick, lifeless flour tortillas. But it’s a welcoming place, the beer and wine lists are great, and you’re welcome to order a cocktail made with the booze on the towering back bar. I’ll have a pizza and a $2 High Life. MARTIN CIZMAR.

Gold Dust Meridian

The Lovecraft Bar

Mississippi Studios

Holocene

Whiskey Bar

Moloko

3267 SE Hawthorne Blvd.

DJ Tiger Stripes 1001 SE Morrison St. Dance Yourself Clean

421 SE Grand Ave NecroNancy

31 NW 1st Ave DeafLife Showcase

Killingsworth Dynasty 832 N Killingsworth St Cake (hip hop)

Moloko

3967 N. Mississippi Ave. King Tim 33 1/3 (aqua boogie & underwater rhymes)

Quarterworld

4811 SE Hawthorne Blvd Quarterflashback (80s)

Saucebox

214 N Broadway St Chelsea Starr

The Crimson Lotus

SAT. DEC. 10 45 East

315 SE 3rd Ave Vanic

Bit House Saloon 727 SE Grand Ave Let Me Tell You

Crush Bar

1400 SE Morrison St. Death of Glitter

Eastburn 1800 E Burnside St, Soulsa! (latin dance)

3939 N Mississippi Ave. Jump Jack Sound Machine 3967 N. Mississippi Ave. Klavical (modern soul, heavy breaks, hip hop)

Quarterworld

4811 SE Hawthorne Blvd Night By Night (electropop, synthwave, nu disco)

Sandy Hut

1430 NE Sandy Blvd.

DJ Sean Rock & Rule

The Lovecraft Bar

421 SE Grand Ave Musick For Mannequins w/ DDDJJJ666, Magnolia Bouvier & DJ Acid Rick (fog dance)

Valentines

Ground Kontrol

2845 SE Stark St Soul Stew (funk, soul, disco)

511 NW Couch St. DJ Chip (r&b, dance-pop, hip hop)

232 SW Ankeny St Devil’s Pie (hip hop, r&b, new jack swing)

The Liquor Store

Holocene

Dig A Pony

8307 N Ivanhoe Destruct

The Goodfoot

3341 SE Belmont St, Believe You Me: Dorisburg

1001 SE Morrison St. Verified w/ Astronomar

SUN. DEC. 11 736 SE Grand Ave. El Chingon (hip hop)

The Lovecraft Bar

421 SE Grand Ave Infinity Mirror (occult techno, esoteric ambiance)

MON. DEC. 12 Ground Kontrol

511 NW Couch St. Reaganomix: DJ Nate C. (80s hits, hair metal)

The Lovecraft Bar

421 SE Grand Ave Black Mass (goth, new wave) Second Mondays Suck (emo)

TUES. DEC. 13 Club 21

2035 NE Glisan St. DJ Smooth Hopperator

Dig A Pony

736 SE Grand Ave. Lowlife (garage, rockabilly)

Holocene

1001 SE Morrison St. Fuzzy Logic: Pezzner, Proqxis, Mr. Projectile, Todd Armstrong

Willamette Week DECEMBER 7, 2016 wweek.com

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Willamette Week DECEMBER 7, 2016 wweek.com

K A T H L E E N K E L LY

PERFORMANCE = WW Pick. Highly recommended.

Most prices listed are for advance ticket sales. At-the-door increases and so-called convenience charges may apply, so it’s best to call ahead.

Editor: SHANNON GORMLEY (sgormley@wweek.com).

TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, submit information at least two weeks in advance to: sgormley@wweek.com.

THEATER OPENINGS & PREVIEWS A Tuna Christmas

Most of us may be a little pissed off at small-town rural America at the moment, but A Tuna Christmas asks you to spend some time with the residents of Tuna, Texas. For almost a decade now, the Winningstad has been staging this family-friendly, farcical comedy, which casts two men to portray all of the play’s characters as they deal with seasonal small-town troubles, like holiday yard-display contests and local productions of A Christmas Carol. Winningstad Theatre, 1111 SW Broadway, portland5.com. 7:30 pm Tuesday-Saturday, 2 pm Sunday, Dec. 8-23. $20-$40.

Adrienne Truscott’s Asking for It

Any women who’s been accused of “asking for it” probably wasn’t standing in front of an audience wearing nothing but a jacket and boots. But that’s Adrienne Truscott’s costume in her show Asking for It, which, by the way, is still not asking for it.

Truscott’s standup set is made up of and about rape jokes delivered while pantsless, and is meant to be a commentary on male comedians who normalize rape humor. She performed the show in Portland last year, but this time, she’s also performing her newest piece, Adrienne Truscott’s a One-Trick Pony (or Andy K**fman Is a Feminist Performance Artist and I’m a Comedian), which pays tribute to Kaufman while also critiquing the reaction Truscott got to Asking for It. The Headwaters Theater, 55 NE Farragut St., boomarts.org. Asking for It plays 7:30 pm Thursday-Saturday, Dec. 8-10. Adrienne Truscott’s a OneTrick Pony plays 9:30 pm Saturday and 7:30 pm Sunday, Dec. 10-11.

Flash! Ah-Ahhh!

One of Portland’s few annual seasonal shows that’s not at all holiday-themed, StageWorks Ink’s signature production Flash! Ah-Ahhh! adapts Flash Gordon for the stage with a Queen-heavy soundtrack. Now in its third year, StageWork’s tribute to the adventures of the football player-turned-space adventurer is lo-fi and high camp, with live accompaniment by the School of Rock. Alberta Abbey, 126 NE Alberta St., stageworksink.com. 7:30 pm Thursday-Sunday, Dec. 8-16. $18.

The Intimacy Project

Part theater, part social experiment, the Intimacy Project breaks out of the confines of the stage, as in the performers are not confined to the stage.

Performers and audience share the same space, and the performance is their interaction with the audience, from holding hands to telling secrets.

That might sound terrifying to a lot of people, but members of the audience get to pick their level of interaction, so you don’t have to dance with a stranger if that’s not your thing.

Performance Works NW, 4625 SE 67th Ave., pwnw-pdx.org. 7 and 9 pm Friday-Saturday, 4 and 7 pm Sunday, Dec. 9-11.

La Belle

Portland theater is getting in on the buzz around the upcoming live-action Beauty and the Beast movie. There’s the more straightforward adaptation opening at Newmark Theatre this month, and then there’s Imago’s version. La Belle is basically a steam-

punk adaptation of the tale. Set in a steamship’s engine room, the play plans to go heavy on effects, from animation to puppets. And unlike the PG-13 rating on the Disney update, this one’s geared toward family crowds. Imago Theatre, 17 SE 8th Ave., imagotheatre.com. 7 pm Friday, noon and 3:30 pm Saturday-Saturday, Dec. 9-Jan. 8. Noon and 3:30 pm Tuesday and Thursday, Dec. 20-29. Noon and 3:30 pm Wednesday, Dec. 21; Monday, Dec. 26; and Friday, Dec. 30. Noon Monday, Jan. 2. Noon and 3:30 pm Friday, Dec. 30 (no 7 pm show). No show Friday, Dec. 23, or Sunday, Dec. 25. $24.50-$42.50.

ALSO PLAYING A Christmas Carol

For the theater’s reprisal of the production, Portland Playhouse’s cofounder and artistic director Brian Weaver is directing alongside Cristi Miles, and they’ve cast A Christmas Carol veteran Jen Rowe as Scrooge, so the play is in more than capable hands. Even so, it probably will not blow your mind or anything like that, and you probably don’t even want it to. All you probably want from this show is for it to make you feel warm and Christmas-y inside, which it almost certainly will. Portland Playhouse, 602 NE Prescott St., portlandplayhouse.com. 7 pm TuesdaySunday, 2 pm Saturday-Sunday, Dec. 7-30. Noon and 4 pm Saturday, Dec. 24. Additional shows 2 pm TuesdayFriday, Dec. 20-23. No show Sunday, Dec. 25. $34.

A Civil War Christmas

It may not be A Christmas Carol, but Artists Rep’s holiday production packs in a lot: singing, period costumes, politics and Lincoln. Set during the Civil War, Paula Vogel’s A Civil War Christmas traces the lives of a bunch of different people on Christmas Eve, 1864: Mary Todd and Abraham Lincoln, Grant, Sherman, and a fictional character named Hannah, a woman escaping from slavery with her pre-teen daughter. Artists Rep had the show slated way before Trump ruined Christmas, but hopefully it can provide us with some answers about seeking peace in a divided nation. Artists Repertory Theatre, 1515 SW Morrison St., artistsrep.org. 7:30 pm Tuesday-Sunday and 2 pm Sunday, through Dec. 23.

Additional shows noon Wednesday, Dec. 7; 2 pm Saturday, Dec. 17; and 2 pm Wednesday, Dec. 21. $25-$50.

Buyer & Cellar

Hey look, it’s not a Christmas show.

Instead of Santa or elves or whatever, Triangle’s holiday production is about Barbra Streisand’s basement. The play gets its premise from Streisand’s real-life basement, which is elaborately designed to look like a street lined with shops that hold all her stuff.

Buyer & Cellar imagines Alex, a struggling actor who works in Streisand’s basement mall. The absurd comedy is a one-man show: actor James Sharinghousen will play Streisand, Alex, and Alex’s boyfriend Barry. The Sanctuary at Sandy Plaza, 1785 NE Sandy Blvd., trianglepro.org. 7:30 pm Thursday-Saturday and 2 pm Sunday, through Dec. 17. $15-$35.

CONT. on page 36

REASON FOR THE SEASON: The Grinch (Jessi Walters) and Scrooge (Phillip J. Berns, front right) are cheered along by some kids (Jessica Tidd and Jim Vadala) as they unite in their shared hatred of the holiday.

REVIEW

A Christmas Kind of Gay NOTHING IS SACRED IN SPECTRAVAGASM’S HOLIDAY SHOW.

BY SHA N N ON GOR MLEY

sgormley@wweek.com

After Jesus appeases Satan by giving him a copy of the Grosse Pointe Blank soundtrack, Spectravagasm reveals the meaning of Christmas: “That’s why we give each other presents on Christmas,” says little Timmy ’s mom (Diane Kondrat).

“To make Satan happy?” asks little Timmy (Keith Cable).

“That’s right, little Timmy, to make Satan happy,” she replies.

Spectravagasm really wants to ruin everything you hold seasonally sacred. By the end of Holidazed, the sketch comedy group’s first holiday show, three characters have been violently murdered, the Church of Science has killed God, Santa (Cable) has slapped several people, and shit has poured out of Bing Crosby’s Christmascaroling mouth.

The sketches, written by and featuring Sam Dinkowitz, are interspersed with very loud, Monty Python-indebted video clips that feature plenty of fart noises. Adding to the sense of holiday madness, the show’s characters are played with unstable intensity: Phillip J. Berns emphatically portrays everyone from Scrooge to Satan, Jim Vadala is amusingly dopey as Jesus, and Jessica Tidd’s various characters switch from wide-eyed holiday cheer to crazy-eyed holiday madness in a matter of seconds. There’s a recurring song with a chorus about “a Christmas kind of gay,” seemingly for the purpose of singing the word “gay” as many times as possible.

Although Spectravagasm assaults everything and anything pertaining to the holiday, you don’t feel like they’re being dicks about it. Holidazed is irreverent in a harmless kind of way, like a middle-schooler who thinks incessant poking and butts are funny. It doesn’t feel particularly jarring or even unfamiliar when Kondrat holds a gun to Santa’s head and yells at him to be “more jolly” as he films a Coke ad, nor is it all that surprising when Scrooge and the Grinch (Jessi Walters) violently tongue in one of the opening sketches.

But instead of being limited by it, Dinkowitz and crew seem proud of the fact their audience is used to that kind of stuff. In one sketch, Santa’s helpers (Kondrat and Vadala) inform him of things no longer on the naughty list (supplied by audience suggestions such as “stinky pinky”).

When Santa begins to lose heart over the changing times, Kondrat tells him to get used to it.

“Little Timmy doesn’t want a truck anymore.

He wants a video game called Ass Feast,” she says.

Besides, the fact that Spectravagasm is crude for the sake of being crude, instead of for the sake of being edgy or making some kind of point, is partly what makes Holidazed likable. It allows the show to suggest the holidays are a combination of capitalist ploy and arbitrary religious nonsense without seeming cynical. In Holidazed, everything is meaningless, but in a lighthearted way that just means you can make fun of whatever you want. Nothing is sacred, but nothing is serious, either.

SEE IT: Holidazed plays at Shaking the Tree Theatre, 823 SE Grant St., shaking-the-tree.com.

10 pm Friday-Saturday, through Dec. 17. $10.

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PERFORMANCE Portland Actors Conservatory is going subtle with their holiday offering. Hay Fever is not explicitly holiday themed, but it centers around crazy family dynamics, which most people seem to find particularly relatable this time of year. The 1920s three-act play is about an artsy family inviting guests to their house, only to scare them all away. It’s PAC’s first show of the season, and the actors are from all over the Portland performance scene: from Shakespeareans to Brody Theater improvisers to actors who have been working with August Wilson Red Door Project’s Hands Up. Portland Actors Conservatory, 1436 SW Montgomery St., pac.edu. 7:30 pm ThursdaySaturday and 2 pm Sunday, Dec. 8-18. $18.

Hershey Felder as Irving Berlin

Even if you don’t go to this show, there’s no escaping Irving Berlin in December: He’s the guy who wrote “White Christmas,” along with “There’s No Business Like Show Business” and “God Bless America” to name a few. The one-man play is starring and created by actor and pianist Hershey Felder, who’s done similarly formatted musical biographies of pianists like Gershwin and Liszt. They’ll be plenty of old-timey piano music and probably a retro set to fulfill your seasonal nostalgia.

The Armory, 128 NW 11th Ave., pcs. org. 7:30 pm Tuesday-Sunday, 2 pm Saturday-Sunday, noon Thursday, Dec. 7-30. No 7:30 pm show Sunday, Dec. 11, and Saturday, Dec. 24. No show Tuesday, Dec. 13. No shows Sunday, Dec. 25. $25-$75.

Parfumerie

Even if you’ve never heard of it before, you will probably recognize the plot of Parfumerie. The 1937 Hungarian play was never performed in the U.S. until 2009, it’s the source material for You’ve Got Mail, The Shop Around the Corner, In the Good Old Summertime, and the Broadway musical She Loves Me. A tale of love mix-ups involving a parfumerie employee, it’s admittedly old-fashioned, but that’s the kind of thing people like this time of year, and Bag & Baggage’s oldtimey charm is certainly capable of bringing you full-force nostalgia. The Venetian Theatre, 253 E Main St., Hillsboro, bagnbaggage. org. 7:30 pm Thursday-Saturday and 2 pm Sunday, through Dec. 23. Additional show 7:30 pm Wednesday, Dec. 21. $22-$32.

atively undaunted artistic director Samantha Van Der Merwe, and the two lead roles are occupied by trusted Shaking the Tree regulars, Rebecca Ridenour and Matthew Kerrigan. In the season of safebet productions, this one manages to also be compelling material.

Shaking the Tree Theatre, 832 SE Grant St., shaking-the-tree.com.

7:30 pm Thursday-Saturday and 2 pm Sunday, Dec. 8-24. $25.

Viva’s Holiday

Most Christmas shows aren’t about strippers, and neither are most operas. But Viva’s Holiday is, in fact, a Christmas opera about perhaps the best known stripper in Portland, Viva Las Vegas. The connection isn’t totally random, either. The one act opera is based on the first Christmas Viva went home to her disapproving religious parents after starting her career as a stripper. Her family members try to convince her why she should find her new job demeaning, and several arguments ensue. Created by Christopher Corbell of alt-opera purveyor Cult of Orpheus and directed by close friend and bandmate of Viva Las Vegas, Pat Janowski, it’s a closeknit production. And for anyone who feels intimidated by operas, you should know that the libretto for Viva’s Holiday is not only in English, but also includes tampon jokes. Star Theater, 13 NW 6th Ave., vivas-holiday.com. 9 pm Wednesday-Saturday, Dec. 7-17. No shows Friday-Saturday, Dec. 9-10. $25. 21+.

DANCE Ebb

BodyVox is doing something uncommon for a dance company: a December show that isn’t holidaythemed. Instead, it’s bringing back out-of-town dance company Arcane Collective to perform its latest production, Ebb. BodyVox last hosted Arcane Collective two years ago, when it performed a work inspired

by Irish painter Louis le Brocquy.

The subject matter of Ebb is similarly meta-arty; it’s based on Samuel Beckett’s trilogy of novels and, in Arcane Collective style, employs plenty of theatrical touches. Dark, a little eerie and conceptually heavy, it’s basically the opposite of a glittery Christmas show. BodyVox, 1201 NW 17th Ave., bodyvox.com. 7:30 pm Thursday-Saturday and 2 pm Saturday, Dec. 8-10. $25-$59.

In Good Company

Here are a few things NW Dance Project promises to feature in its holiday show: monsters, goddesses, clowns, a magician. Unlike most holiday shows, you don’t totally know what you’re going to get with NWDP’s In Good Company. The showcase features an array of dancer-created pieces that are all winter-themed in some way or other but aren’t necessarily confined to usual holiday dance show topics. Lincoln Hall, 1620 SW Park Ave., nwdanceproject.org.

7:30 pm Thursday-Saturday, Dec. 8-Dec. 10. $34-$58.

For more Performance listings, visit

PREVIEW THOMAS TEAL

Hay Fever

The Room

Pretty much everyone can agree that The Room is one of the worst movies ever, to the point where that epitaph is even on its Wikipedia page. Written by and starring Tommy Wiseau, it’s a hole-riddled, soap-opera plot with just about zero acting and ridiculous dialogue.

But it’s probably due to a cult following formed of the movie’s accidental deadpan humor that new theater company Mister Theater chose to adapt the movie for their first production. Mister Theater is the new project of Ryan Cloutier and Montetré, who have a creative history with intentionally terrible movies (namely a film of their creation called Zombie Cats From Mars). Mister Theater, 1857 E Burnside St., No. 101, mistertheater. com. 8 pm Thursday-Sunday, Dec. 8-18. $5-$20.

Venus and Adonis

Shaking the Tree’s winter show isn’t a safe bet in the sense that it’s holiday oriented. It’s not really family oriented, either: Shakespeare’s narrative poem is about the goddess Venus’s lusty attempts to woo the mortal Adonis, who keeps brushing off her advances in favor of going hunting. Plus, its tragic ending involves death by the horns of a bull. But it is a safe bet in the sense that it already had a successful stint at CoHo’s Summerfest, is directed by Shaking the Tree’s cre-

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Willamette Week DECEMBER 7, 2016 wweek.com

Sean Jordan Sean Jordan has an uncommon trait for a comedian: He’s an optimist. What could come off as daddy issues in his material is instead a sympathetic understanding of a complicated person, and he’s at least once apologized to a heckler. The ex-Portlander’s stage vibe is more nice guy than the usual self-deprecating stuff—instead of talking about how terrible he is in relationships, he’ll do a bit about just being “OK.” Jordan recently relocated L.A., but he’s coming back to host the Secret Society’s holiday standup showcase. It features a lineup of well-established Portland comics, all of whom are local with (loosely) the exception of Jordan. Almost half are Funniest Five finalists (Jordan, Nariko Ott, Caitlin Weierhauser and Adam Pasi), so it’s not exactly a wildcard showcase. But with Ott’s dude humor, Weierhauser’s sitcomy rage and Pasi’s absurdism, it’s to say the least a decent sampling of Portland comedy.

SHANNON GORMLEY. SEE IT: Sean Jordan is at the Secret Society, 116 NE Russell St., secretsociety.net. 9 pm Friday, Dec. 9. $12 advance, $15 day of show. 21+.

VISUAL ARTS

MUSIC MILLENNIUM RECOMMENDS MORPHINE

PROFILE

Buy Portland Art for the Holidays

JOURNEY OF DREAMS

$15.99 DVD (AVAILABLE FRIDAY) Morphine blazed like a comet across the music scene in the 1990s, rising from obscurity to wide critical acclaim, before the band's untimely demise. The trio's unique and mesmeric sound continues to resonate with its fans and music lovers as the group ascends to legendary if not iconic status. The documentary is the definitive tale of Morphine's compelling career, told by the trio's surviving members, punctuated by friends and admirers like Henry Rollins, Joe Strummer and Steve Berlin of Los Lobos.

ALEJANDRO ESCOVEDO

BURN SOMETHING BEAUTIFUL

$13.99 CD

SOMETHING LOCAL FOR EVERY BUDGET, FROM $35 TO $1,000.

COURTESY OF EUTECTIC GALLERY

" My favorite Album of the year!"

BY JE N N I F E R R A B I N jrabin@wweek.com

If you go down the rabbit hole of “wall decor” on your favorite retail websites, or walk the decor aisles of home goods stores looking for gifts, you will find a lot of soft, calming landscapes; bold, abstract expressionist images designed to match your couch; and black-and-white photographs of flowers, cafes and charming side streets in Europe. They range from $50 to $500.

But here’s the thing: They are all massproduced, which means the artists get almost nothing, and the retailers clean up. Every dollar we spend on a commercial print of a water buffalo is a dollar that could go to support the arts instead. If we spend a little differently, not only do we get something beautiful to hang in our homes, but an artist also gets to keep his studio.

This year, if you’d like to give art as a gift, consider doing it in a way that supports our artists and art institutions. For roughly the same amount of money that you would be handing over to a faceless corporation for an assembly-line reproduction, you can get something that’s one of a kind.

Here are some ideas to get you started.

The drawers at Blue Sky Gallery

One of our most well-respected galleries has an entire wall of drawers filled with one-of-a kind photos from established photographers, which are immensely satisfying to leaf through. They start at $100. If you want to buy a gift for the photography lover in your life but don’t want to choose it, you can give a credit at Blue Sky (ask for Amanda, and she’ll hook you up).

Membership to the Portland Art Museum

Less than $100 gets you and your significant other free admission for a year (and 10 percent off at the gift shop). But what you’re really buying are museum dates, some of the most romantic dates of all time because you get to make out in front of a Basquiat or a Brâncusi.

You are buying the chance to dress up and see the newest exhibition on your way to dinner or a movie. And if you know art lovers who prefer to wander the museum galleries at their own pace, an individual membership is $65.

ADX artisanal holiday marketplace

If you’re looking for something practical and refined, like an heirloom-quality cast-iron pan

- Terry Currier

FUNCTIONAL ART: Ceramics at Eutectic Gallery.

for the cook in your life or an indestructible pannier for your friend’s bike, ADX is bringing together local craftspeople and their wares on Dec. 10 from 10 am to 7 pm. Everything is made by hand by local artisans.

Ceramics at Eutectic Gallery

If you aren’t ready to take the leap to paintings, photographs or sculptures, and want to buy functional art instead, check out the work from the brilliantly talented ceramic artists at Eutectic Gallery (eutecticgallery.com).

You will find everything from formal vases to stoneware mugs that look like they were made from corrugated cardboard.

Gallery credit

If someone in your life is a fan of art, but you don’t know where to begin, you can give a hand-written credit for whatever amount you can afford, and tell the recipient to spend it at any gallery in town. It’s hard to explain the joy of walking into a gallery and picking out a piece of art that someone else paid for. Or if you know your loved one’s favorite gallery, you can put an amount on credit with that gallery.

For amazing work priced from $35 to $500, start with Wolff Gallery and Blue Sky. If your budget ranges up to $1,000, check out Nationale, Stephanie Chefas Projects, and Froelick.

All of these galleries have websites where you can view available work.

Commission an artist

The most meaningful gifts I have ever given or received were commissioned from local artists. You can contact an artist whose work you admire about a custom piece, and you will be surprised by how willing most artists are to work within your budget. Here are a couple recommendations to get you going: Alyson Provax (alysonprovax.com) is a printmaker who creates fine-art letterpress pieces. If there is something you want to express with text, she’s the one for you.

Shelby Davis (shelbydavisstudio.com) is a sculptor and craftsman who can make just about anything, from a customized table with metal inlay to a concrete casting of your favorite vegetable to a bronze sculpture of your favorite person.

JOIN U S D EC 10TH 12 8PM FO R .

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2ND SATURDAY FOSTER ART WALK DEC

10

JAN

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12—8 PM, 6000 FOSTER RD. FEB

11

MAR

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APR

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MAY

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6000 Foster Rd., Portland Oregon Flat Blak Gallery | Latchkey Gallery | Backstory Books Wild At Heart Salon | Ben Will Studio | Po’ Boy Art

#wweek

y p p a H Hour Willamette Week DECEMBER 7, 2016 wweek.com

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JOIN 10,000 PORTLANDERS TODAY AND

give!

BOOKS = WW Pick. Highly recommended.

BY ZACH MIDDLETON. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, submit lecture or reading information at least two weeks in advance to: WORDS, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Email: words@wweek.com. Fax: 243-1115.

WEDNESDAY, DEC. 7 Steven Church

Most people who want to get in touch with their wild side go camping or maybe sign up for one of those mud races where you ruin a pair Nikes, twist an ankle jumping over a log, and then drink 7,000 calories’ worth of beer with friends.

Not so for David Villalobos, who in 2012 jumped from the monorail at the Bronx Zoo into the pit of a 400-pound tiger. Luckily, the tiger wasn’t harmed but you should have seen the other guy. Villalobos, who lived, is the focus of One With the Tiger, the new book by Steven Church about people who have taken extreme measures to get in touch with the wild. Church will be joined by Oregon Book Award winner Justin Hocking. Powell’s City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., 800-878-7323. 7:30 pm. Free.

THURSDAY, DEC. 8 Urotsukidoji

Tentacle porn! (See the Bump, page 21.) Floating World, 400 NW Couch St., 503-241-0227. 6 pm. Free.

John R. Bruning

After his family was taken prisoner by the Japanese, cargo pilot Paul Irvin “Pappy” Gunn made it his mission to rescue them. His modifications to American bomber aircraft played a major role in the Allied victory at the Battle of the Bismarck Sea. War correspondent and writer John R. Bruning tells Gunn’s harrowing story for the first time in Indestructible: One Man’s Rescue Mission That Changed the Course of WWII. Powell’s Books on Hawthorne, 3723 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 800-878-7323. 7:30 pm. Free.

Susan DeFreitas

SUPPORT OVER 1 4 0 LOCAL NONPROFITS AT GIVEGUIDE.ORG

College is the moment when many a rudderless youth realizes that idealism can get you laid. In Susan DeFreitas’ debut novel, Hot Season, students of Deep Canyon College, a school famous for creating environmental activists, find the dating pool centers on the protest group. But when the FBI begins to investigate alums for taking their activism to a criminal level, students must deal with the real-world consequences of their actions. Powell’s City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., 800-878-7323.

7:30 pm. Free.

FRIDAY, DEC. 9 Chloe Caldwell

In the vein of Lena Dunham’s Girls, Chloe Caldwell writes unsparing essays about topics ranging from T.J. Maxx to off-brand chocolate to failing at jobs. As frank as a bedhead selfie, the personal essays in I’ll Tell You in Person distill the experience of meandering through your 20s. A former Portlander and the author of the novella Women, Caldwell will be joined by author Jay Ponteri. Powell’s City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., 800-878-7323. 7:30 pm. Free.

SATURDAY, DEC. 10 Valerie Hsiung

GIVE TO THE ARTS 38

Willamette Week DECEMBER 7, 2016 wweek.com

Poet and Poor Claudia editor Valerie Hsiung makes the trip from Brooklyn to Portland for the release of her third full collection of poems, EFG: A Trilogy. Two other poets will read from new works: Emily Carr, director of Oregon State University-Cascades’ low-residency MFA program, and Vi Khi Nao, author of the poetry collection Fish in Exile. Mother Foucault’s, 523 SE Morrison St. 503-236-2665.

7 pm. Free.

Homer Davenport

SUNDAY, DEC. 11 Homer Davenport: Oregon’s Country Boy Cartoonist

Those familiar with turn-of-the-20th century political cartoons know Silverton, Ore., as the birthplace of Homer Davenport, cartoonist for the Chicago Herald and San Francisco Chronicle. Davenport got his start with nothing more than gumption, wit and a ludicrously wealthy family, not to mention an uncle in the Associated Press. Davenport also bred one of the state’s first lines of Arabian horses. Silverton planning commissioner Gus Frederick will speak on Davenport as part of the Oregon Historical Society’s Second Sunday series. One last thing: Davenport’s mother was named Florinda. Oregon Historical Society, 1200 SW Park Ave., 503- 222-1741.

2 pm. Free.

MONDAY, DEC. 12 The Moth Mainstage

Five storytellers take to the stage when international storytelling series The Moth returns to Portland with a new lineup of material. For this twohour event, topics include a voodoo priestess, an astronaut, and a retired NYPD detective. Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall, 1037 SW Broadway, 503-248-4335. 7:30 pm. Sold out.

Bill Ayers

Bill Ayers is one of the left’s most controversial intellectual figures.

Co-founder of the militant revolutionary group the Weather Underground, which was responsible for several public (but casualty-free) bombings, Ayers spent years as a fugitive from the FBI, only to have all charges dropped when it was revealed the FBI had used illegal surveillance against Ayers and his organization. That was in his younger years. Ayers is now a professor at the University of Illinois at Chicago. His new book, Demand the Impossible!, is a manifesto for radical political action. Powell’s City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., 800-878-7323. 7:30 pm. Free.

TUESDAY, DEC. 13 Marat Grinberg

Reed College professor Marat Grinberg discusses the Soviet-era film classic The Commissar and reads from his new book of the same name. Seen as critical of the Soviet regime, the 1967 film was suppressed for 20 years, and director Aleksandr Askoldov was charged with the ominous-sounding crime of “social parasitism.” Daedalus Books, 2074 NW Flanders St., 503-274-7742. 7 pm.

Free.

For more Books listings, visit

MOVIES The meaning of Christmas is that you deserve a swimming pool.

The meaning of Christmas is you should never accept a triple-dog dare, no matter what.

National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation Academy, Dec. 9-15; Mission, Dec. 16-21.

Merry Flicksmas

A Christmas Story Mission, Dec 17-18, 20; Laurelhurst, Dec. 7-8.

Yes, someone has to teach these little shits the meaning of Christmas.

Something in color, Grandpa.

No, but is there a Die Hard for kids?

Home Alone Mission, Dec. 9-10; Kiggins, 7 pm Thursday, Dec. 8.

WHAT CHRISTMAS MOVIES SHOULD YOU WATCH AT PORTLAND’S REPERTORY THEATERS? USE THIS HANDY DECISION TREE TO FIND OUT.

Yippie-ki-yay, motherfucker!

Die Hard Hollywood, Dec. 16 and 20; Mission, Dec 26-29.

Duh. Are they old enough for Die Hard?

BY WA L K E R M AC M UR D O

Bad Santa Laurelhurst, Dec. 9-15.

Do you want to watch a movie from “back in the day”?

Let’s keep it PG .

No!

How so?

Yes!

Do you have kids?

It’s a Wonderful Life Hollywood, 2 pm Sunday, Dec. 18; Mission, Dec. 23-26; Laurelhurst, Dec. 16-22; Kiggins, Dec. 22-24.

HIP WEIRDO .

Yes!

Good. Do you want to laugh?

Yes, and I want to watch a children’s movie in which every character looks like Ted Cruz.

I’m not a simpleton.

Just how #basic are we talking?

The Gilmore Girls reboot is awesome!

Christmas Holiday Kiggins, 6:30 pm Monday, Dec. 12.

No, but I’m still a

White Christmas Kiggins, Dec. 22-24.

No, I want to be sad for two hours.

Silent Night, Deadly Night Hollywood, 7:30 pm Tuesday, Dec. 20.

I like obscure film noir enough to drive to Vancouver to see it.

How do you feel about profanity?

No, I want to sing!

I am a dirtbag who likes goofy horrorcomedies about a murderous Santa Claus.

Do they like action?

wmacmurdo@wweek.com

COCK.

Elf Academy, Dec. 16-25; Mission, Dec. 17-24; Kiggins, Dec. 16-20.

#basic

The Polar Express Empirical at OMSI, weekends Dec. 9-29.

Has irony obliterated your ability to meaningfully interact with art and culture?

Yes, and I like Star Wars.

Nerd Out

The Star Wars

Love Actually Mission, Dec. 10-13.

Holiday Special Kiggins, 6:30 pm Friday, Dec. 9.

Do you want to keep it #basic with a traditional classic, or nerd out with something more adventurous?

G ET YOU R REP S I N

Rope

(1948)

Strangle the life out of your holiday cheer with Alfred Hitchcock’s first Technicolor film. Edited to appear to take place in real time as one continuous shot, this grim tale follows two upper-crust young men, Brandon (John Dall) and Phillip (Farley Granger), who commit the “perfect murder” on a whim. Based on the reallife Leopold and Loeb case of 1924.

NW Film Center’s Whitsell Auditorium.

5:30 pm Friday, Dec. 9.

Sleeping Beauty

(1959)

If you haven’t seen one of the old Disney movies in a while, its easy to forget they are terrifying, hallucinatory morality plays that are in no way suitable for the soft minds of millennial children, especially when they are shown on a massive scale in terrifying 70 mm. Hollywood. 1:30 and 4 pm Saturday-Sunday, Dec. 10-11.

Spartacus

(1960)

With an ensemble as legendary as its eponymous hero (Kirk Douglas), a young Stanley Kubrick’s historical epic about the leader of the Roman slave uprising that started the Third Servile War is screening in 70 mm this weekend in all its monumental, obscenely lavish glory. Hollywood. 7 pm Friday-Saturday, Dec. 9-10.

The Star Wars Holiday Special (1978)

Widely regarded by critics and fans of the series as one of the worst things ever committed to film, this deservedly forgotten TV movie cash-in has since been reborn in the top tier of ironic shitbag moviedom, alongside Troll 2 and The Room. Fun fact: This film introduced the Star Wars universe to Boba Fett. Kiggins. 6:30 pm Friday, Dec. 9.

ALSO PLAYING: Academy Theater: National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (1980), Dec. 9-15.

Church of Film (North Star Ballroom): Dead Mountaineer’s Hotel (1979), 8 pm Wednesday, Dec. 7. Empirical Theater: The Polar Express (2004), Dec. 9-11. Hollywood Theatre: The Wanderers (digital restoration; 1979) 7:30 pm Wednesday, Dec. 7; Martial Arts of Shaolin (1986), 7:30 pm Tuesday, Dec. 13. Kiggins Theatre: Home Alone (1990), 7 pm Thursday, Dec. 8.

Laurelhurst: A Christmas Story (1983), Dec. 7-8. Mission Theater: Home Alone (1990), Dec. 9-10; Love Actually (2003), Dec. 9-13.

Willamette Week DECEMBER 7, 2016 wweek.com

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MOVIES C O U R T E S Y O F V I TA G R A P H F I L M S

#wweek

AQUARIUS

One More Time With Feeling

= WW Pick. Highly recommended.

Editor: WALKER MACMURDO. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, send screening information at least two weeks in advance to Screen, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210.

Email: wmacmurdo@wweek.com. Fax: 243-1115.

OPENING THIS WEEK Aquarius

B+ We first meet Clara (Barbara Colen) as a young woman in the 1980s, blasting Queen’s “Another One Bites the Dust” before attending a birthday party at her elderly aunt’s oceanfront apartment in Recife, Brazil.

We then see Clara (Sônia Braga) as a 65-year-old retired music critic, mother, widow and breast cancer survivor. She lives in the same apartment as her late aunt, and is the last tenant in the building who hasn’t been bought out by a young, overzealous real estate developer. But against all odds and regardless of her age, Clara remains a passionate woman who’s dedicated to maintaining her apartment and its intergenerational legacy.

Aquarius is the second feature by Brazilian director Kleber Mendonça Filho (Neighboring Sounds), and the Portuguese-language film’s pacing matches that of its senior protagonist: slow, deliberate and confident. The film briefly touches on class and racial divides while offering casual insight into the social issues of modern Brazil, but the central focus is on the ordinary struggles of growing old while preserving a sense of family, community and history. Brief scenes of sex and nudity display Clara’s youthful vigor and self-possession, but the scars from her cancer serve as a blatant—though normalized—reminder of the tolls that time and age take on the body. Ultimately, we’re watching a woman who’s literally lost parts of her physical self, but refuses to forsake her mind, her soul, or the possessions and places that evoke her memories. NR. CURTIS COOK. Cinema 21.

Color Correction

Presented by Portland’s Cinema Project as the first part of its two-part Interaction of Formats series exploring the perception of color, Color Correction is a feature-length silent film from SoCal artist Margaret Honda made from the color-timing tapes (that shadow theatrical release prints) of an unknown Hollywood feature.

NW Film Center’s Whitsell Auditorium.

7:30 pm Tuesday, Dec. 13.

GIFT E I D U G 40

Willamette Week DECEMBER 7, 2016 wweek.com

Collateral Beauty

In this awfully named film, Will Smith stars as an advertising executive who suffers a personal tragedy, prompting his colleagues to hatch a plan to confront his grief. Look for next week’s review. PG-13. Bridgeport, Cedar Hills, City Center, Clackamas, Division, Eastport, Lloyd, Tigard.

The David Dance

wweek.com

On the radio, “Danger Dave” is the witty host of a late-night gay talk show in Buffalo, N.Y. In real life, he is an introvert who has to confront his

insecurities when his divorced sister wants him to be a father figure to her adopted Brazilian child. Not screened for critics. NR. Clinton Street Theater. 7 pm Friday-Saturday, Dec. 9-10.

Dead West

The world premiere of the new indie thriller from Seattle filmmaker Jeff Ferrell, Dead West follows a serial killer who hits the road in search of true love. Ferrell and cast members will attend a Q&A following the screening. NR. Clinton Street Theater.

7 pm Wednesday, Dec. 7.

Miss Sloane

Jessica Chastain stars as badass D.C. lobbyist Elizabeth Sloane, who defends a new gun control bill against political opponents who threaten her career and the people she cares about. Not screened for critics. R. Bridgeport, Cedar Hills, Clackamas.

No Pay, Nudity

C+ Remember a few years ago when a fuss was made about the death of the midbudget drama, about how American audiences no longer wished to see quiet movies about quiet people doing quiet things? As soon as the Helvetica-style opening credits and plinky-plonk piano and strings score roll, you’ll know exactly where No Pay, Nudity is headed. A sad man, Lester (Gabriel Byrne), and his quirky friends (Nathan Lane, Frances Conroy, Boyd Gaines), all aging, struggling actors, spend their spare time in a New York actors’ lounge while scrounging for small-time parts. Over the course of several small victories and the corresponding defeats that slightly outweigh them, Lester learns to find joy in his miserable existence.

No Pay, Nudity mostly functions as a pastiche of “prestige-y” things— respected character actors, stories about life’s small successes and failures—intended to trigger the “this is a good movie” parts of the brain.

But they don’t. The movie doesn’t say anything about living with your shortcomings that hasn’t been said more interestingly before—think The Wrestler or Sideways. No Pay, Nudity is a good example of why studio executives don’t want to throw money at pictures in which not much happens: If they aren’t very good, they tend to be very dull. R. WALKER MACMURDO. Kiggins, Living Room Theaters.

Office Christmas Party

When the CEO (Jennifer Aniston) tries to shut down the branch of the company run by her goofball brother (T.J. Miller), he hatches a plan to land a major client with a gigantic office party that gets out of hand. Look for next week’s review. R. Bridgeport, Cedar Hills, City Center, Clackamas, Division, Eastport, Lloyd, Pioneer Place, Tigard, Vancouver.

In 2015, cult Australian gothic folk musician Nick Cave lost his teenage son in a tragic hiking accident. This rockumentary follows Cave and his band the Bad Seeds through his grieving process and the recording of this year’s Skeleton Tree album, which received rave reviews. Not screened for critics. NR. Hollywood.

Torrey Pines

B- A blonde and her pigtailed teenage daughter—both paper cutouts brought to life through stopmotion animation—are driving down an oceanside freeway while arguing about aliens in the White House.

The teenager slams the door, jumps out of the car and begins to walk through California’s Torrey Pines State Natural Reserve. What follows is a biographical transgender coming-of-age story from Seattle filmmaker Clyde Petersen (Your Heart Breaks) based on the road trip he took in 1993 after being kidnapped by his schizophrenic mother. These themes sound daunting, but it’s impossible to take anything too seriously in a film full of characters made from construction paper. There’s almost no discernible dialogue in the film, and characters communicate primarily through garbled gibberish, with animated sequences emphasizing major points. In lieu of words, the story is told through the visualized daydreams and hallucinations of a young person coming to terms with his sexuality and his mother’s mental health issues. These artistic choices make for an interesting feature, but the film is so focused on being stylistic that elements of character development and plot are left out. The film’s disjointed nature fits the themes of puberty and schizophrenia, but cause more emotional moments and the film’s big reveal to fall flat. Torrey Pines feels less like a cohesive story and more like reading journal entries from a teenager’s sketchbook. NR. CURTIS COOK. NW Film Center’s Whitsell Auditorium. 7 pm Monday, Dec. 12.

Trail Running Film Festival

A selection of films from Seattle’s Trail Running Film Festival showcases the best of the best of films about running through the forest wearing fancy shoes. Clinton Street Theater. 7 pm Tuesday-Wednesday, Dec. 13-14.

Red Umbrella Film Series

The Clinton Street Theater screens a collection of films about sex workers and sex industries from all over the world. Clinton Street Theater. 7 pm Sunday, Dec. 11.

STILL SHOWING The Accountant

C Ben Affleck stars as an autistic and brutal serial murderer who’s somehow also the hero. Must’ve been a stretch.

R. Bridgeport, Clackamas, Division, Eastport, Living Room Theaters.

B+ A clumsy, yet irresistible WWII

thriller in which a wooden Brad Pitt and a theatrical Marion Cotillard fuck in a sandstorm. R. Bridgeport, Cedar Hills, City Center, Clackamas, Division, Eastport, Fox Tower, Lloyd, Oak Grove, Tigard, Vancouver.

Arrival

A Arrival inspires because of sorrow-

C J.K. Rowling’s reboot of the Harry

Potter saga is meant to be spirited and suspenseful, but the cast has no chemistry, and the beast-induced mayhem looks tacky. PG-13. Bagdad, Bridgeport, Cedar Hills, City Center, Clackamas, Division, Eastport, Lloyd, Milwaukie, Moreland, Oak Grove, Pioneer Place, Roseway, St. Johns Twin Cinema & Pub, Tigard, Vancouver.

Finding Dory

ful linguist Louise Banks (Amy Adams), who enters a spaceship hovering above Montana shrouded in grief but still has compassion for both aliens and humanity. PG-13. Bridgeport, Cedar Hills, City Center, Clackamas, Division, Eastport, Fox Tower, Hollywood, Lloyd, Oak Grove, Tigard, Vancouver.

B+ For 13 years, the entire world eagerly awaited the return of Ellen DeGeneres as the forgetful Dory. There’s tears to fill a tide pool, wit to keep adults amused, and laughs for any audience with a short attention span. PG. Vancouver.

Bad Moms

Gimme Danger

C Hangovers loom large in the films of Jon Lucas and Scott Moore (The Change-Up, The Hangover). Cue the inexplicably raucous party, supermarket destruction and montage. R. JAY HORTON. Vancouver.

B- Though director Jim Jarmusch is clearly out of his element, it’s nonetheless entirely worthwhile to see and hear the story of Iggy and the Stooges told by the men who made the music. R. Kiggins, Laurelhurst.

Bad Santa 2

The Girl on the Train

B- Billy Bob Thornton is still really funny

as the alcoholic mall Santa/thief Willie Soke, but Bad Santa 2 drowns out his performance in a tornado of dull dick and fart jokes. R. Bridgeport, Cedar Hills, City Center, Clackamas, Division, Eastport, Lloyd, Oak Grove, Pioneer Place, Tigard, Vancouver.

Bleed for This

It’s Oscar season, and you know what that means: Hollywood’s annual movie about boxing. This time it’s the story of Vinny Pazienza (Miles Teller), the world champion boxer whose career was derailed in the early ’90s by a bad car crash. R. Bridgeport, Clackamas, Vancouver.

Captain Fantastic

A Viggo Mortensen is mud-splattered,

idealistic and good at killing things… again. But this time with six kids in tow. R. Academy, Laurelhurst.

Certain Womem

A- Drawing on three short stories by Maile Meloy, Kelly Reichardt’s piercing slice of 21st-century life follows Laura Dern, Michelle Williams, Kristen Stewart and a masterful, relatively unknown Lily Gladstone skillfully embodying weary Montanans. R. Laurelhurst.

Christine

As broadcaster Christine Chubbuck struggles with depression and a boss (Tracy Letts) who keeps pushing for more sensational news stories, her personal and professional lives begin to spiral out of control. R. Living Room Theaters.

Deepwater Horizon

C+ How do you make a movie about

the worst oil disaster in U.S. history?

If you’re director Peter Berg (Lone Survivor), you condense an environmentally devastating oil spill into an incoherent action blowout starring Mark Wahlberg. PG-13. Valley, Vancouver.

Doctor Strange

B+ Thanks to director Scott Derrickson’s confidently superficial storytelling, this film’s imagery has a dizzying power. PG-13. Bridgeport, Cedar Hills, Cinemagic, City Center, Clackamas, Division, Eastport, Lloyd, Oak Grove, Pioneer Place, St. Johns Twin Cinema & Pub, Tigard, Vancouver.

The Eagle Huntress

COURTESY OF SONY PICTURES CLASSICS

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them

A- Set in the wilderness of Mongolia, this astounding documentary follows a 13-year-old Kazakh girl who hunts with the help of a golden eagle. PG-13. Fox Tower.

The Edge of Seventeen

B+ As Nadine, Hailee Steinfeld delivers one winsome tirade after another, she never sells short simple adolescent growing pains. It’s the best combination of well-written ranting and genuine alienation in a high school comedy since Easy A. R. Bridgeport, Cedar Hills, City Center, Clackamas, Eastport, Fox Tower, Oak Grove, Tigard, Vancouver.

Tate Taylor’s adaptation of Paula Hawkins’ best-selling novel stars Emily Blunt as a divorced alcoholic who witnesses an incident in her neighbors’ house. R. Bridgeport, Living Room Theaters, Vancouver.

Hacksaw Ridge

C A morally repugnant bloodbath, this would-be epic stares into the maw of World War II through the eyes of combat medic Desmond Doss (Andrew Garfield), who rescued dozens of his comrades at Okinawa—without ever firing a gun.

R. Bridgeport, Cedar Hills, City Center, Clackamas, Division, Eastport, Fox Tower, Oak Grove, Tigard, Vancouver.

The Handmaiden

B+ Park Chan-wook’s revenge tale is an undeniably lush, meticulously constructed film whose celebration of perversity is among the most artful you’ll see. R. Cinema 21.

Hell or High Water

B+ Loved the gunfights and the misan-

thropic cowboy glamour of No Country for Old Men, but maybe Javier Bardem’s haircut made you uncomfortable? Try Jeff Bridges’ new Western genre vehicle.

R. Laurelhurst.

Jack Reacher: Never Go Back

B- Blending fantastical stunts (Reacher can punch through windshields and, perhaps, fly) with off-kilter humor, Never Go Back approximates a brutalist take on the Marvel tropes. PG-13. Avalon, Cedar Hills, Jubitz, Kennedy School.

Kubo and the Two Strings

A Laika’s late-summer bid for anima-

tion domination is an original story that feels lived in, a kid-focused fable with real stakes, and it’s a high-octane spectacle full of white-knuckle action and terrifying creatures that’s matched every step of the way by heart. PG. Academy, Vancouver.

Loving

A- The true story of Richard (Joel

Edgerton) and Mildred Loving (Ruth Negga), the interracial couple who challenged U.S. miscegenation laws all the way to the Supreme Court, Loving emits slow, relaxed scenes that rely on touch rather than dialogue to illustrate the Lovings’ palpable tenderness. PG-13. Bridgeport, Living Room Theaters, Vancouver.

The Magnificent Seven

When an evil industrialist seizes control of a Wild West town, its residents enlist the help of gunslinging mercenaries played by Denzel Washington, Chris Pratt and company to save the day.

PG-13. Academy, Valley, Vancouver.

A Man Called Ove

Hannes Holm adapts Fredrik Backman’s best-selling novel of the same name, in which a shitty old Swedish guy befriends a young family who moves in next door. Zany life lessons are learned all around. PG-13. Cinema 21, Kiggins.

accident. When a deadly winter storm hits her isolated home, she comes to believe an intruder is trying to harm her and her son. PG-13. Clackamas.

River is weighed down by too many familiar actors and rote dialogue. PG-13.

Academy, Empirical, Jubitz, Laurelhurst, Valley, Vancouver.

Storks

Trolls

B+ Poppy (Anna Kendrick), the bubbly leader of the troll community, and Branch (Justin Timberlake), a serial pessimist, must save a handful of their goofy friends from ending up as troll soufflé on the dinner table of the Bergens—ugly giants that suffer from depression. Like every contemporary kid’s film, Trolls is rife with enjoyably nauseating life lessons like “no troll left behind,” and that happiness comes from within. PG. Beaverton, Bridgeport, Cedar Hills, City Center, Clackamas, Division, Eastport, Lloyd, Oak Grove, Pioneer Place, Tigard, Vancouver.

Hilarity ensues when delivery stork Junior (Andy Samberg) is tasked to deliver an unauthorized baby to a human family. PG. Academy, Avalon, Empirical, Vancouver.

Suicide Squad

C- Suicide Squad rushes through an incoherent two hours of superhero mayhem, pureeing everything into a slush of clichés. PG-13. Vancouver.

Sully

C- Clint Eastwood’s worst movie since 2011’s J. Edgar, his tale of Chesley “Sully” Sullenberger’s 2009 emergency landing of a commercial jetliner in the Hudson

For more Movies listings, visit

REVIEW C O U R T E SY O F FAC E B O O K

Allied

Man Down

Shia LaBeouf, Kate Mara and Gary Oldman star in this film about a Marine who returns home to a shattered family life following a traumatic tour of duty in Afghanistan. R. Bridgeport, Clackamas, Eastport.

Manchester by the Sea

B- How do you start over when your transgressions refuse to stay buried? According to director Kenneth Lonergan, you don’t, and that denial is one of too many reasons why even though Manchester by the Sea is admirably tough-minded, it’s also a drag. R. Bridgeport, Clackamas, Fox Tower.

Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children

B- Tim Burton’s adaptation of Ransom Riggs’ young adult best-seller nearly ignores the dull business of storytelling altogether via expository plot dumps crumpled in between ever more fantastical evocations of ghoulish Victoriana. PG-13. Joy.

Moana

B+ If you were curious whether Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson could carry a tune, Moana is a ringing affirmative. PG. Bridgeport, Cedar Hills, City Center, Clackamas, Division, Eastport, Lloyd, Milwaukie, Oak Grove, Pioneer Place, St. Johns Pub and Theater, Tigard, Vancouver.

Moonlight

A- Moonlight follows Chiron, played

by three different actors, coming of age over two decades on the rough Liberty City blocks of 1980s Miami.

Every piece of Moonlight is staged in service to a humanist question: What would love mean to a boy who’s been conditioned to hide? R. Cinema 21, City Center, Clackamas, Hollywood, Lloyd, Vancouver.

Nocturnal Animals

Fashion designer-turned-director Tom Ford (A Single Man) is back, and this time he’s tackling Austin Wright’s 1993 novel Tony and Susan. Susan Morrow (Amy Adams), the successful owner of an art gallery, receives a disturbing manuscript from her ex-husband (Jake Gyllenhaal) as her second marriage falls apart. R. Bridgeport, Cedar Hills, Clackamas, Fox Tower, Lloyd.

Rules Don’t Apply

C At its best, Rules Don’t Apply documents Howard Hughes’ (Warren Beatty) eccentric behavior, capturing him repeating himself in a dark room and demanding banana-nut ice cream. But like Hollywood itself, each scene passes by too quickly for the viewer to grasp what’s actually going on. PG-13. Bridgeport, Cedar Hills, City Center, Clackamas, Division, Eastport, Living Room Theaters, Lloyd, Tigard, Vancouver.

Shut-In

Naomi Watts stars as a psychologist whose husband is killed and teenage son is left brain dead by a catastrophic car

THE EAGLE HUNTRESS

LEGALIZE IT: The Freedom to Marry.

Tough Love It’s a good thing the ’90s are no longer alive in Portland, at least in terms of gay rights.

“We were badly losing before we were winning,” recalls Thalia Zepatos, the Portland-based director of research and messaging for national marriage-equality nonprofit Freedom to Marry. “Oregon was one of the worst states for LGBT rights in the ’90s after Measure 8, but it was here in Portland in 2010 that a polling firm found that most voters think of marriage in the form of love and commitment.”

On Monday, the Hollywood Theatre will put a ring on Eddie Rosenstein’s war room-style documentary The Freedom to Marry, officiating at its cinematic debut in Oregon with Zepatos and Nancy Haque, co-director of Basic Rights Oregon. The premiere, prodded by Trump’s ascendance to the White House, is a tribute to Oregon’s bittersweet history with LGBT politics and its understated role in the marriage-equality ruling at the Supreme Court.

“Before [2010], we were talking about marriage in a legal sense,” says Zepatos. “Basic Rights Oregon and Why Marriage Matters shifted the message here, and we transformed the argument on a national level, all the way to the high court.”

The film chronicles the psychology behind Freedom to Marry’s political strategy, as well as several Obergefell v. Hodges star players—Evan Wolfson, the nonprofit’s founder; civil rights lawyer Mary Bonauto, who argued the case in court; and partners April DeBoer and Jayne Rowse, who were leading plaintiffs—is just as much about marketing and contemporary grassroots campaigning as it is about celebrating the victory.

“There are a lot of social movements that feel embattled after the victory of Donald Trump who might find something in this film to be moving,” explains Zepatos, who features throughout the documentary.

“We’ve gotten calls from the immigrant movement, gun rights activists. They want to know how you create a climate around the Supreme Court. When the opposing lawyer made the opening argument [at the Supreme Court] that marriage is much more than love and commitment, using our own argument against us, we knew we were winning.”

Local LGBT equality groups delivered the shot heard around the world by supplying the national movement with its trademark argument, that marriage is about falling in love with another person, rather than an idea. Oregon deserves a raised glass. JACK RUSHALL. SEE IT: The Freedom to Marry screens at the Hollywood Theatre. 7:30 pm Monday, Dec. 12. Thalia Zepatos and Nancy Haque will attend.

Willamette Week DECEMBER 7, 2016 wweek.com

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VIVIAN SHIH

end roll

Drop Me, Please

A NEW OREGON PRODUCT PROMISES TO BRING YOU BACK DOWN.

BY JO RDA N M I C H E L M A N

low-THC, indica-dominant hybrid.

@sprudge

There are many products on the Oregon cannabis market that will get you high—and now, perhaps inevitably, there’s something to take when that high goes wrong. Meet AntiDope, a dripper bottle no bigger than Visine’s, made by former gubernatorial candidate Cliff Thomason, that promises to help you “get right, right away.”

Too stoned? Simply squeeze a few drops of the stuff (a mixture of essential oils and kosher vegetable glycerin) under your tongue and wait for the desired effect. Sounds like total hokum, right?

There was only one way to find out.

I’m not really a big sativa guy, and I’ve been subjected to all manner of very bad too-high highs—the jitters, the freak-outs, the head trips, a series of bum deals and bummer mental calisthenics, talking myself down from ledges metaphorical and literal, flushing stashes in prayerful probity, swearing to all deities never to smoke that particular stuff again. Which is why the onset of legal weed and today’s buyers’ market have been rather groovy for yours truly: I can intentionally stick to the high-CBD stuff, or, if it’s the weekend and I’ve got good football to watch, a jolly

This assignment required me to take another tack— to seek out the biggest, dankest, THC-iest weed I could find; to smoke an uncomfortable amount of it; to first sit through the drama as a kind of control subject; then smoke it again, and administer myself with the chill-out drops so as to ascertain their effect.

“This is probably snake oil,” my editor told me.

A low thump started in my chest.

Yet there I was, buying the stickiest icky on the menu at Serra dispensary on Southeast Belmont Street, which that day happened to be Liberty Haze, clocking in at 24.07 percent THC with nary any CBD to offset it. I would never buy this weed of my own volition, but like WW projects editor Matthew Korfhage gorging himself on a 10-pound sandwich, this too I could endure for journalism.

You know that feeling of being just a little too high?

It’s a mental discomfort; your mind goes into looped thinking, and whatever little flaw or fear or issue you’ve been doing your best to repress comes roaring to the surface. It’s like Dante’s vision of hell tailored to your particular weaknesses, with each circle a new bull’s-eye for some cruel psychic dart.

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EIGHTH OUNCE

For me, it usually starts like this…

“Who exactly do you think you are? Why don’t you go read the comments, writer boy—your troll-ass commenters are prescient and correct. Go get a real job.”

Soon it progresses, with laser specificity, toward thoughts such as…

“What a fool you must be to bring a child into this world!

When it all comes crashing down, how will you support them? How will you support yourself ? Go back to coffee, coffee boy. They’re all gonna laugh at you!”

And on and on, until finally the weed cools it for a moment and I can get myself together. But that’s not a lot of fun, right? Weed, you’re the worst sometimes. And so it went with this Liberty Haze during my control session. I eventually resorted to smoking a bit of high-CBD stuff just to level out, and went to bed cursing the very legitimization of marijuana and its attendant written word. It should all just be left to the festival types.

Until the next day, when, armed with my AntiDope drops, I burned down another fat J of Liberty Haze. It came on even quicker this time—the spins, the bug-outs, the oh-shits, with my chest thump-thumping, and some shitty devil on my shoulder whispering...

“It’s not gonna work out, bud. You’re a hack. You’ll wind up working in corporate-food PR, or worse, writing for Eater. Go back to Tacoma already, if you can even afford it.

Remember when you got fired from Spaghetti Factory?”

I hate this feeling. I hate weed. And then I took some drops, and sat there for a moment. Nothing; still spooked.

Zero chill. I took a couple more drops, and went outside for some fresh air. It was a cool evening, not raining but not dry—the smell of wet leaves and chimneys. I consulted my inner monologue and it whispered...

“Maybe it’ll be cool, man. You know, people will always want to read stuff. Maybe it’s OK for that stuff to be yours.

After all, you’re an OK guy, guy.”

I don’t know if it was the drops that chilled me out, or the thought of the drops, or the big breath of fresh air, or my own underlying faith in the universe’s eternal tilt toward the karmic mean. Same difference, in the end. I didn’t hate the high anymore. I didn’t feel like I needed another kind of weed to smooth things over. It did not make me want to smoke any more of this high-THC bud ever again, but I definitely felt less like throwing myself into traffic.

I felt something like a calm wash over me. I went back inside, lit some incense, and closed my eyes.

Today’s big-dawg THC bombs aren’t for everyone, and they sure as shit aren’t for me. Some of this stuff is almost too dank—it’s enough to make Wavy Gravy blush. In my experience for this article, it’s nice to have something like these AntiDope drops squirreled away in a kitchen drawer for future instances of the dreaded too-high. Seasoned stoners need not apply, but for erstwhile day trippers and the cannabis curious—and really, for any of the jittered among us in today’s darkest timeline—it’s a small comfort to think that reason and sanity might be only a drop away.

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W W S TA F F

BY N a t e Wa g g o n e r

Lights of Decency THOSE SEEMINGLY RANDOM LAMPPOSTS ON MOUNT TABOR HELPED THE CITY BATTLE DEPRAVITY.

Cat and Girl

BY DR. MITCHELL MILLAR

2220 NW QUIMBY STREET, PORTLAND, OREGON

If you’ve spent any time walking the trails of Mount Tabor Park, you’ve probably seen the historic lampposts scattered throughout the forest, seemingly at random. California transplants are apt to notice them, and they will ask me quite earnestly, “Do they serve a practical purpose? Anything at all?” Then they might take it a bit further, “Do they even turn on?”

I look deeply into their azure Californian eyes and say, “No, they’re purely aesthetic. They don’t even turn on! They’re just here to charm you.”

Real Portlanders know the truth about the lampposts, which were installed in Mount Tabor Park to mitigate the very serious crime plaguing the park for much of the city’s history. We take our modern, cleanedup, Disneyland version of Mount Tabor for granted, but it hasn’t always been like that.

In the city’s earliest days, counterfeit-goods hawkers and three-card Monte dealers moved into the park. During Prohibition, bootleggers started using the park as a favorite hiding place for barrels of illegal alcohol.

Muggings and knife attacks in the park surged in postwar Portland. In the 1960s, it became a favorite place for flower children to score LSD and grass.

Before the freeways, the engineering feat of Southeast Thorburn Street and the widening of Powell Boulevard, the roads through Mount Tabor Park used to be among the city’s most vital thoroughfares. If you lived in “East County,” especially, the park was an unavoidable part of your daily commute. The grifters, rowdies, vandals and street toughs were attracted to this high volume of foot traffic for its never-ending stream of potential victims. It got so congested during rush hour that they would set up frankfurter stands to lure you out. And once you were out, you were a mark, quickly embroiled in a dice game—or worse.

It isn’t clear exactly when—probably sometime in the 1950s—Portland cops responding to calls at Mount Tabor Park began using a shorthand when filing reports involving these so-called “Mount Tabor Villains.” That was shortened to “Montavillains,” a name that stuck and became the basis for the name of the adjacent neighborhood, which had previously been known as “the Backside.”

When I was 16, I got a job driving a cab at night. Anytime you got a call east of 50th Avenue, you knew you’d inevitably end up having to pass through Mount Tabor. You would look out the window and see the depravity going on all around. I won’t lie, it weighed on you. But at the same time, it was hard to look away. Sometimes I’d drive through Mount Tabor even when I didn’t have a passenger. It might be raining, but I knew it wasn’t enough. If ever there was to be a change, we needed a real rain to come and wash all the scum off the streets.

In 1979, Frank Ivancie campaigned for Portland mayor on a platform of fixing Mount Tabor Park, making it appeal to families and “good, nice, normal” Portlanders by installing lamps, increasing police patrols, building new roads around the park and closing the roads in the park.

This was known as the Ivancie Plan, and years later New York Mayor Rudolph Giuliani used it as a model for his initiative to clean up his city’s version of Mount Tabor Park—Times Square.

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CHATLINES CONT.

JONESIN’

by Matt Jones

“Ask Your Doctor”–these sound like legit meds. orders, maybe 50 Small bills 51 Bouncy 53 Ancient road to Rome 55 “Do you sit there and watch your fish swim around? Ask your doctor if ___ is right for you.”

59 AL East athlete 63 Fool’s cap wearer 64 “Do you wish you lived on a massive rock at the southern tip of Europe? Ask your doctor if ___ is right for you.”

66 Mischievous pranks 67 “Garfield” drooler 68 Luxury rental 69 Packs (away) 70 Sloth and avarice, for two 71 “Raiders of the Lost Ark” creatures

Across 1 “Dracula” novelist Stoker 5 Rapper ___ Flocka Flame 9 Fundamental principle 14 Brain division 15 European auto brand 16 Desist’s companion 17 “Do you eat chocolate all day long?

Ask your doctor if ___ is right for you.”

19 Address the crowd 20 Role-playing game in the “Elder Scrolls”

series 21 “Do you say things that are selfcontradictory? Ask your doctor if ___ is right for you.”

23 Agcy. under Elaine Chao, once 25 Concert boosters 26 Some butter 29 “The Mikado” costume element 31 Greetings from Hawaii 35 Albany-to-Buffalo canal 36 Important part of a news story that might

get “buried” 38 Hearten 39 Fish and chips fish 40 “Do you watch movies on ancient technology? Ask your doctor if ___ is right for you.”

42 News and opinion website since 2014 43 Brando’s Nebraska birthplace 45 Word before clock or glass 46 “Match Game” emcee Rayburn 47 Dressing places?

49 Brunch drink

Down 1 Crunchy sandwiches 2 Corner piece 3 “Dear” advice columnist 4 Place of ‘90s TV 5 Hypothetical spacetime shortcut 6 Abbr. on military mail 7 Gambling game played with 80 balls 8 Amazon Echo’s voice service 9 Riboflavin’s group 10 Deodorant option 11 Coal valley in Germany 12 Math ratio words 13 Out in public 18 Frozen water, in Wittenberg 22 1950s singing star ___ Sumac 24 Encourages a felon

26 Bill of cowboy legend 27 Appetite stimulant 28 Music streaming service since 2014 30 State with an upright panhandle 32 Place of refuge 33 Make up (for) 34 Palindromic pair 37 Eggplant or smiley, e.g.

40 Reputation hurter 41 Available, as retail goods 44 Gets angry against Bart Simpson’s wishes 46 Silverback, for one 48 ___ Lanka 52 Often-mocked cars of the 1980s 54 A goal of NOW 55 Throws in 56 Give up 57 Rescind 58 Skirt length 60 ___ Day and the Knights (“Animal House” band) 61 Item on a bedside table 62 First asteroid landed on by a NASA craft 65 Bulk foods container

last week’s answers

©2016 Jonesin’ Crosswords (editor@jonesincrosswords.com) For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle #JONZ809.

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Week of December 8

ARIES (March 21-April 19) Normally I cheer you on when you devote single-minded attention to pressing concerns, even if you become a bit obsessive. But right now, in accordance with astrological omens, I invite you to run wild and free as you sample lavish variety. It’s prime time to survey a spectrum of spicy, shiny, and feisty possibilities . . . to entertain a host of ticklish riddles rather than to insist on prosaic answers. You have been authorized by the cosmos to fabricate your own temporary religion of playing around and messing around and fooling around.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20) Taurus poet Adrienne Rich described “an honorable human relationship” as “one in which two people have the right to use the word ‘love.’” How is that right earned?

How is such a bond nurtured? Rich said it was “often terrifying to both persons involved,” because it’s “a process of refining the truths they can tell each other.”

I bring this to your attention, Taurus, because you’re in a favorable phase to become an even more honorable lover, friend, and ally than you already are. To take advantage of the opportunity, explore this question: How can you supercharge and purify your ability to speak and hear the truth?

GEMINI (May 21-June 20) In Goethe’s play Faust, the hero bemoans his lack of inner unity. Two different souls live within him, he says, and they don’t cooperate. Even worse, they each try to rule him without consulting the other. I’m guessing you’ve experienced a more manageable version of that split during the course of your life. Lately, though, it may have grown more intense and divisive. If that’s true, I think it’s a good sign. It portends the possibility that healing is in the works . . . that energy is building for a novel synthesis. To help make it happen, identify and celebrate what your two sides have in common.

CANCER (June 21-July 22) The poet Dick Allen described Zen Buddhism as being “so filled with paradoxes that it jumps through hoops that aren’t even there.” I’m tempted to apply this description to the way you’ve been living your life recently. While I can see how it may have entertained you to engage in such glamorous intrigue, I’m hoping you will stop. There is no longer anything to be gained by the complicated hocus-pocus. But it’s fine for you to jump through actual hoops if doing so yields concrete benefits.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22) For decades, numerous self-help authors have claimed that humans use ten percent or less of their brain’s potential. But the truth is that our gray matter is far more active than that. The scientific evidence is now abundant. (See a summary here: tinyurl.com/mindmyths.) I hope this helps spur you to destroy any limited assumptions you might have about your own brainpower, Leo. According to my astrological analysis, you could and should become significantly smarter in the next nine months -- and wiser, too!

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) Born under the sign of Virgo, Mary Oliver is America’s best-selling poet. She wasn’t an overnight sensation, but she did win a Pulitzer Prize when she was 49. “What I loved in the beginning, I think, was mostly myself,” she confesses in one poem. “Never mind that I had to, since somebody had to. That was many years ago.” I bet that even at her current age of 81, Oliver is still refining and deepening her self-love. Neither she nor you will ever be finished with this grand and grueling project. Luckily for you both, now is a time when Virgos can and should make plucky progress in the ongoing work. (P.S.: And this is an essential practice if you want to keep refining and deepening your love for others.)

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) Most high-quality suits worn by men are made from the wool of merino sheep raised in Australia. So says Nicholas Antongiavanni in his book The Suit: A Machia-

vellian Approach to Men’s Style. There are now more than 100 million members of this breed, but they are all descendants of just two rams and four ewes from 18thcentury Spain. How did that happen? It’s a long story.

(Read about it here: tinyurl.com/merinosheep.) For the oracular purposes of this horoscope, I’ll simply say that in the next nine months you’ll also have the potential to germinate a few choice seeds that could ultimately yield enormous, enduring results. Choose well!

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) Five of my Scorpio acquaintances and 17 of my Scorpio readers have let me know that they’re actively seeking to make new alliances and strengthen their existing alliances. Does this mean that Scorpios everywhere are engaged in similar quests? I hope so. I would love to see you expand your network of like-minded souls. I would love for you to be ardent about recruiting more help and support. Happily, the current astrological omens favor such efforts. Hot tip: For best results, be receptive, inviting, and forthright.

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SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) “The awesome splendor of the universe is much easier to deal with if you think of it as a series of small chunks,” wrote novelist Terry Pratchett. That’s true enough, but I’ll add a caveat: Now and then the trickle of small chunks of awesome splendor gives way to a surge of really big chunks. According to my astrological analysis, that’s either already happening for you, or else is about to happen. Can you handle it? I’m sure you’ve noticed that some people are unskilled at welcoming such glory; they prefer to keep their lives tidy and tiny. They may even get stressed out by their good fortune. I trust you’re not one of these fainthearted souls. I hope you will summon the grace you’ll need to make spirited use of the onslaught of magnificence.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) In his book The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows, John Koenig coins words to describe previously unnamed feelings. I suspect you may have experienced a few of them recently. One is “monachopsis,” defined as “the subtle but persistent feeling of being out of place.”

Then there’s “altschmerz,” meaning “weariness with the same old issues you’ve always had.” Another obscure sorrow you might recognize is “nodus tollens,” or “the realization that the plot of your life doesn’t make sense anymore.” Now I’ll tell you two of Koenig’s more uplifting terms, which I bet you’ll feel as you claw your way free of the morass. First, there’s “liberosis”: caring less about unimportant things; relaxing your grip so you can hold your life loosely and playfully. Second, there’s “flashover,” that moment when conversations become “real and alive, which occurs when a spark of trust shorts out the delicate circuits you keep insulated under layers of irony.”

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) In 1983, two Australian blokes launched a quest to tip a drink at every pub in Melbourne. Thirty-two years later, Mick Stevens and Stuart MacArthur finally accomplished their goal when they sipped beers at The Clyde.

It was the 476th establishment on their list. The coming weeks will be a highly favorable time to plan an epic adventure of your own, Aquarius. I hope and pray, though, that you will make it more sacred and meaningful than Stevens’ and MacArthur’s trivial mission.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20) For three seasons of the year -- spring, summer, and fall -- a certain weasel species has brown fur. During that time, it’s known as a stoat. When winter arrives, the creature’s coat turns to white. Its name changes, too. We call it an ermine. The next spring, it once again becomes a stoat. Given the nature of the astrological omens, Pisces, I think it would make poetic sense for you to borrow this strategy. What would you like your nickname to be during the next three months? Here are a few suggestions: Sweet Sorcerer; Secret FreedomSeeker; Lost-and-Found Specialist; Mystery Maker; Resurrector.

Homework Imagine it’s many years from now. As you look back on your life, what adventure do you regret not trying? Truthrooster@gmail.com

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