42 35 willamette week, june 29, 2016

WHY CAROLE SMITH WON’T LEAVE. P. 11

WILLAMETTE WEEK PORTLAND’S NEWSWEEKLY

WHEN OHSU WAS PISCOTTY CASTLE. P. 51

“PORTLAND REALLY DOES SUCK!” P. 4

THE STRAWBERRY DEFINED OREGON. IS IT GOING AWAY? WWEEK.COM

VOL 42/35 6.29.2016

BY BE T H S LOV I C

PAG E 12

AWESOME THAI FRIED CHICKEN. P. 25

SHOP

as if the future depended on it.

Local businesses like these have helped make our renewable program no. 1 in the country for seven years running, forging a cleaner outlook for us all.* They’ve earned our thanks and, hopefully, your support.

Thanks to these 100% renewable businesses Aloha Auto Care Big Bertha’s Gyros Cooper’s Coffee Deviation Father and Sons Hardwood Floors Flying Pie Pizza Oodles 4 Kids Opal Ink Tattoo Pacifica

PDX Sliders Polliwog Portland Homestead Supply Co. Rafns’ Salon Chi The French Unicorn Urban Nest Realty Wells & Verne Zim Zim

*Department of Energy NREL latest ranking for number of renewable power customers and amount of renewable energy sold.

To learn how easy and affordable it is to join in, email us at CleanWind@pgn.com.

PortlandGeneral.com/CleanWind You do not have to buy Clean Wind to continue to receive your current electricity service from Portland General Electric.

2

Willamette Week JUNE 29, 2016 wweek.com

J e f f wa l l S

FINDINGS

PagE 21

WHAT WE LEARNED FROM READING THIS WEEK’S PAPER VOL. 42, ISSUE 35.

The “rainbow valley” is an area on Mount Everest covered in dead bodies in colorful climbing gear. 4

A Vancouver beer bar decorated its walls with the contents of a dead man’s desk . 39

The Cowlitz tribe isn’t going to take any crap from the Grand Ronde or card-room operators. 6

A Portland theater company has arranged to get patrons $5 prerolls if they show their program at the nearest dispensary. 42

The Maltese want to make Oregon the internet’s Las Vegas. 9 Prince hired a backup singer after seeing her perform at PDX Pop Now. 27

ON THE COVER:

The star of Grimm is “a sleeping twinkie, says a friend. 46 It may have taken as long as two years for people to start watching Reefer Madness ironically. 50

OUR MOST TRAFFICKED STORY ONLINE THIS WEEK:

Illustrations by Jodie beechem.

Photo by Julie Showers.

our photos of the World naked bike ride, because people on the internet are way into nudity now.

STAFF Editor & Publisher Mark Zusman EditoriaL News Editor Aaron Mesh Arts & Culture Editor Martin Cizmar Staff Writers Nigel Jaquiss, Rachel Monahan, Beth Slovic Copy Chief Rob Fernas Copy Editors Matt Buckingham, Maya McOmie Stage & Screen Editor Enid Spitz Projects Editor Matthew Korfhage Music Editor Matthew Singer Web Editor Sophia June Books James Helmsworth

Visual Arts Jennifer Rabin Editorial Interns Julia Comnes, Grace Culhane, Russell Hausfeld, Ellena Rosenthal, Ben Stone Contributors Mike Acker, Dave Cantor, Nathan Carson, Peter D’Auria, Alex Falcone, Shannon Gormley, Jordan Green, Jay Horton, AP Kryza, John Locanthi, Mark Stock ProduCtion Production Manager Dylan Serkin Art Director Julie Showers Special Sections Art Director Alyssa Walker Graphic Designers Rick Vodicka, Xel Moore Illustration and Design Interns Jodie Beechem Photography Interns Megan Nanna, Clifford King

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Willamette Week JUNE 29, 2016 wweek.com

3

THE FALLEN OF MOUNT HOOD

WELL-FUNDED PROJECT FALTERS

With a Mount Everest summit bid and being a The Native American Youth and Family Center six-time Mount Hood veteran, I consider the has worked tirelessly to serve our most vulnertitle of this piece [“Where People Fall and Die able kids [“Quitting Early,” WW, June 22, 2016]. on Mount Hood,” WW, June 22, 2016] to be I am left to wonder why Willamette Week tries insensitive to the families of to find a story where there is those lost, and disrespectful none, and why—most especialto the fallen who gave the ly—it so often targets the very ultimate sacrifice in pursuing organizations that support our something they loved. children of color?

While ascending Everest, I — Christine Dupres passed through “rainbow valley.” It’s name is based on the This is an example of no overappearance of the numerous sight for a no-bid contractor. deceased climbers who remain When questions are asked, the clearly visible, appearing much “The title of Portland School Board is shamed like they did on the day they lost this piece is into writing a check to fund questheir lives, all wearing brightly tionable programs. We need leadinsensitive to colored outerwear. ers who will ask questions and These totems of the fallen will the families of require results. remain ever vigilant, exclaiming those lost.”

Meanwhile, kids are having bake their message as clearly as though sales and parents hold annual they had screamed it into your ear. The sight of auctions to raise money for part-time PE and this above-ground cemetery will remain with me art teachers. PPS priorities are way off. for the remainder of my days.

—“Kim S” —Jeff Woodward

MODEL FOR HOMELESS CAMPUS

I’ve been homeless on the streets of Texas, and it’s rough [“San Antonio Spurred,” WW, June 22, 2016]. I spent the first week in a plastic chair until I simply moved on to the next place, which was not much better. Police were harsh, security guards were posted at entrances to one of the shelters, and staff were more than controlling— they were possessive.

I’ve observed dramatically different things here in Oregon and can attest that a courtyard is not a bad idea. It is worth distinguishing that overhead cover is essential here in Portland, but horizontal shelter is not. Although you need a canopy, it does not need to be indoors.

—“Guido”

Q.

What we need is a zero-growth policy— nobody moves in unless someone dies or moves out. We gonna get a “Make Portland Shitty Again” bumper sticker!

—Mike and Zelda

That’s not really a question, M and Z. But that’s OK, because this isn’t an answer—it’s the longawaited results of our “Make Portland Shitty Again” contest!

Two weeks ago, we asked you to help solve our city’s housing crisis by convincing the world that Portland is a crappy place to live. You delivered, with more letters than for any previous column.

The most common type of complaint was transportation-related—potholes, traffic, lousy drivers, thoughtless cyclists, etc. (Sample comment: “We’re poky, indecisive drivers awash in a sea of electroni4

Willamette Week JUNE 29, 2016 wweek.com

FIGHT AT MUSIC FESTIVAL

Hippie Sabotage was 100 percent to blame for the fight at What the Festival [Murmurs: “What the Fight,” WW, June 22, 2016].

I was there. They were rude, aggressive, disrespectful and angry. They should never be supported in any way again. Awful people, both of those guys.

The security did not instigate it at all.

—“Mietsko” LETTERS TO THE EDITOR must include the author’s street address and phone number for verification.

Letters must be 250 or fewer words.

Submit to: 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210.

Email: mzusman@wweek.com.

cally zombified pedestrian-rights fanatics.”)

Unfortunately, pretty much every city thinks its traffic and drivers are the worst, and such critiques don’t really single out Portland as the one true limburger-and-sardine sandwich of cities.

The second-most popular slam was even less persuasive: Portland as ecological disaster.

(Sample comment: “The air and soil in Portland carry many dangerous toxins in high concentrations, and the city’s river is a Superfund site.”)

Get real. Portland may not be as clean as we’d like, but nearly every major city in California— our main source of new residents—was included in the American Lung Association’s 2015 list of America’s 10 most polluted cities. We look plenty green to them.

Coming in at No. 3 were gripes related to the housing crisis itself—rent spikes, cost of living, gentrification and homelessness. (Sample comment: “Skyrocketing rents and home prices, and 200,000 more people [coming] in 20 years!”)

This last category sounds persuasive to you and me, but migrants from San Francisco or Seattle (particularly those who haven’t yet examined the local job market) still say things like, “Ohmigod, it’s so cheap here!” immediately before perishing in a hail of well-deserved gunfire.

But fear not, Portland. Strewn among this chaff were a few kernels of gold. Tune in for next week’s exciting conclusion: Portland Really Does Suck!

QUESTIONS? Send them to dr.know@wweek.com

Willamette Week JUNE 29, 2016 wweek.com

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In a March letter to Troutner, a city official cited Fairview Municipal Code, which bans the production of medical marijuana. Troutner required his tenants to comply, and they moved out, costing him $4,170 a month in rent. State law allows cities to opt out of allowing medical weed dispensaries and processors—but Troutner’s attorney, Bear Wilner-Nugent, says Fairview overreached by banning medical growers. “[Fairview] has no authority to adopt city code provisions that conflict with and are pre-empted by state law,” writes Wilner-Nugent. Ashley Driscoll, Fairview’s attorney, declined to comment.

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Minority Contracting Committee Sheds Members

Three of nine members of a Portland committee designed to help minority contractors secure city deals have announced they’re leaving the group. The resignations of Andrew Colas,

Rosa Martinez and Tony Jones are the latest bump in the road for Mayor Charlie Hales’ Equitable Contracting and Purchasing Commission, whose members complained in January they were being ignored. “We have to devote our time to where it’s more valued in creating an effective change,” wrote Martinez, president of Professional Minority Group, a Southeast Portland abatement contractor, on June 24. “Unfortunately, I haven’t seen it in this commission.” Hales says in a statement that he accepts their decisions. “The city,” he says, “will continue moving forward with the important work of ensuring minority and women contractors, and those in the workforce, are an integral part of building this city.”

Casino Battle Turns to Sewage

Tensions around the Cowlitz tribe’s plans to open a mega-casino in La Center, Wash., 16 miles north of Portland, are on the rise. Now the Grand Ronde tribe, whose Spirit Mountain Casino would lose business to the Cowlitz facility, is casting doubt on the environmental safety of the plan. On June 27, Reynold Leno, council chairman of the Grand Ronde tribe, wrote to the federal Bureau of Indian Affairs and state and federal regulators, warning of potential environmental damage from the Cowlitz tribe’s plan to inject treated wastewater into the ground. “We are alarmed by the Cowlitz tribe’s decision to inject wastewater from its casino into the Troutdale Aquifer—the only source of drinking water for most of the surrounding community,” Leno wrote. A previous lawsuit filed by Clark County and Washington state cardroom operators blocked the Cowlitz from tapping into La Center’s sewer system. The $510 million casino is scheduled to open next spring. In a statement, Cowlitz tribal chairman William Iyall says the Grand Ronde’s concerns are without merit. His tribe is spending $15 million on a system that he says “meets or exceeds” EPA clean-water standards.

NEWS

WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS WEEK

“If you know what websites a person is visiting, it’s akin to spying on their thoughts.”

—U.S. Sen. Ron Wyden (D-Ore.) to the Huffington Post, after successfully blocking a Senate bill last week that would have allowed the FBI to search Americans’ browser histories without a warrant. Wyden says he expects Republicans to try again soon, in the wake of mass killings committed by U.S. citizens radicalized on the internet.

a.

1. Audibility 2. The Dyrt 3. Iotas 4. Lush 5. Morebots 6. PayRange 7. Poda Foods

This month, Portland startup BabyBit launched a crowdfunding campaign for its flagship product. Guess what that product is.

Give up? BabyBit makes a wearable sensor that sends push notifications to parents’ smartphones when their infant is crying, sleeping or being handed from one caregiver to another.

That name makes intuitive sense.

But the monikers of many Portland startups are more mysterious, even confounding. Don’t believe us? Try matching the names of 15 Portland startups with the tech they make.

JULIA COMNES.

8. Ride Report

b. c. d. e. f. g. h.

9. Sightbox i.

10. SkyHook

j.

11. Skyward 12. Switchboard

k.

13. Wild

l.

MY N AM

14. WorkFrom 15. Yellow Scope

E IS

BabyBit

m.

n. o.

Answers: 1. E, 2. G, 3. C, 4. D, 5. I, 6. J, 7. O, 8. K, 9. B, 10. L, 11. M, 12. N, 13. F, 14. H, 15. A

Science kits for girls.

Simplifies the process of ordering contact lenses by making doctors’ appointments and shipping lenses.

A smart-home platform designed for renters.

A drink-making app that claims using it is “like talking to a bartender with 20 years’ experience.”

I L L U S T R AT I O N B Y T Y L E R G R O S S

Match the names of Portland’s tech startups with the products they make.

DOSSIER

Portland Police Chief

Mike Marshman Age: 50 Previous rank: Captain Previous assignment: Portland police liaison to U.S. Department of Justice

Custom-built headphones that fit your “unique earprint.”

A VR platform that maps the user’s physical surroundings to create “an immersive multisensory experience.”

A Yelp-style review website for campsites and guided adventure trips.

A website that rates the best cafes, bars and other spaces

by Wi-Fi reliability, number of electrical outlets and noise level.

Interactive printed children’s books (currently only for doctors’ waiting rooms).

Matches credit cards to machinebased services (e.g., tire pumps, vending machines, parking meters) that usually require cash.

An app that tracks users’ bike routes and creates open-source traffic data.

Maker of open-source Bitcoin ATMs that cost $999.

A cloud-based platform for commercial drone operators to plan safe flights, manage flight records, and meet regulatory requirements.

A platform to connect college students with alumni and career services.

GMO-free cricket-based protein powder.

Biggest accomplishment: Winning the confidence of DOJ overseers who are conducting a years-long reformation of the Portland Police Bureau.

“He’s very methodical,” says U.S. Attorney for Oregon Billy Williams.

“He’s someone who’s very invested in working with the DOJ.” How he became police chief: Outgoing Chief Larry O’Dea resigned June 27 in the wake of revelations he had accidentally shot a hunting buddy in Eastern Oregon, then allegedly lied to investigators about it.

O’Dea tainted the four assistant chiefs in line to succeed him by telling them about the shooting weeks before it became public. Because none of the four assistant chiefs referred the incident for investigation, they lost their chance for promotion.

What the rank and file think of him: Marshman has a reputation as a strong manager. The cantankerous Portland Police Association responded positively to his promotion. “We are optimistic we can work collaboratively with Chief Marshman,” PPA president Daryl Turner said in a statement.

NIGEL JAQUISS.

Willamette Week JUNE 29, 2016 wweek.com

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Willamette Week JUNE 29, 2016 wweek.com

W W S TA F F

NEWS

Worldwide Wager AT A TIME WHEN THE OREGON LOTTERY FACES BIG COMPETITION, A MALTESE COMPANY PITCHES OPENING THE STATE’S GAMES TO OVERSEAS PLAYERS.

BY NIG E L JAQ UI SS

njaquiss@wweek.com

Playing the Oregon Lottery? You may soon face new competition—from ticket buyers around the globe.

On June 27, the Lottery Commission considered a pitch from the Lotter, a Malta-based website that sells lottery tickets from all over the world. The Lotter wants two rule changes that would allow overseas players to buy as many Oregon Lottery tickets as they want without leaving their home countries.

“The opportunity for Oregon is tremendous,” says Darian Stanford, a Portland lawyer who represents the Lotter, “but if Oregon doesn’t get its act together, this revenue will go to some other state.”

Until last December, nobody in Oregon thought much about foreign lottery players. State and federal laws prohibit internet gambling, and that prohibition has meant in practice that lottery purchasers have to buy their tickets in person.

But then, as WW first reported, an Iraqi national showed up at the Oregon Lottery’s Salem headquarters, seeking to cash a winning Megabucks ticket that he had purchased without leaving his home country (“Megabucks Over Baghdad,” WW, Dec. 9, 2015).

Lottery officials scratched their heads, because they weren’t sure it was legal to purchase a ticket in a foreign country. But then-executive director Jack Roberts, after consulting state and federal law enforcement officials, determined the ticket had been purchased appropriately.

The Lotter, which had provided the service that allowed the man to buy the winning ticket, saw a golden opportunity to expand its business.

The Lotter provides what is in essence a messenger service. Lottery players around the world, in countries such as South Africa, Italy and Canada, select the numbers they want to play through the Lotter. The Lotter then sends an agent to a lottery retailer in the country or state where the customer wants to play.

Currently, the company uses agents to buy tickets in New Jersey, New York and Florida, as well as in Oregon— but Stanford says the company would like to consolidate its U.S. operations here.

To do that, the lottery would need to change two rules: one that requires ticket buyers to fill out their number selections by hand, and another that restricts the type of paper on which selections can be made.

Those rules are arcane, but the practical upshot of changing them would be to mechanize a cumbersome process and vastly increase overseas sales volume: hundreds or even thousands of tickets purchased at a time, instead of one or two.

revenues are soaring but also face a looming threat from a new Native American casino.

The debate over loosening the rules for international ticket sales has divided lottery officials—and perhaps played a role in Gov. Kate Brown’s April 27 ouster of lottery director Jack Roberts.

In February, Roberts temporarily changed one of the two rules the Lotter says impede overseas ticket purchases—a decision that emails show dismayed at least two of the five commissioners.

Those two commissioners—Mary Wheat, who is a Portland police detective, and Corvallis lawyer Liz Carle— expressed concern about Roberts’ decision, which he had made without commission approval. Emails WW obtained under a public records request show that Wheat and Carle criticized Roberts’ management of the lottery, including his desire to increase overseas sales.

“Director Roberts made a rule change without allowing the commissioners to vote on it,” Carle wrote in an email to Roberts’ successor, Barry Pack. “I think this rule change actually may represent a serious policy shift for the Lottery which we have not explored.”

Emails between Roberts, lottery commissioners and state employees capture the essential conflict surrounding the Oregon Lottery: It is constitutionally required to maximize revenue, but doing so means the state must depend on customers who are often poor and sometimes addicted to a losing proposition.

Like the governors before her, Brown has expressed discomfort that Oregon is so dependent on lottery proceeds—the agency brings in about $1.1 billion a year, the second-biggest source of state revenue after income taxes.

No politician likes to fund public services through gambling, but many are hooked on the revenue it brings in. Since its founding 30 years ago, the lottery has become a legal slush fund that pays for a wide variety of programs.

The most recent example came when Brown needed emergency funding to address the air quality scandal at Bullseye Glass Co. in Southeast Portland.

In March, Brown asked Roberts to find $2.5 million for air quality in his agency’s budget—which emails show he did, with the rationale that addressing the problem fit one of the lottery’s core missions, spurring economic development.

The same month Roberts greenlighted that appropriation, the agency recorded its biggest week ever, ringing up more than $20 million in revenues from video lottery games alone.

The agency and its many dependents are keenly aware that the Cowlitz tribe in Southwest Washington plans to

“IF OREGON DOESN’T GET ITS ACT TOGETHER, THIS REVENUE WILL GO TO SOME OTHER STATE.” —Darian Stanford, attorney for the Lotter

But the Lotter’s proposal has already generated opposition from at least two members of the five-person Lottery Commission. They worry that opening lottery games to large numbers of foreign players could lead to all sorts of unintended consequences, from fraud to inequitable sales for retailers to violation of federal laws—and even the potential transfer of large amounts of U.S. dollars to dangerous places.

In the June 27 meeting, commissioner Chris Telfer, a former state senator from Bend, crystallized the commission’s alarm.

“My concern is the integrity of the games and not jeopardizing that,” Telfer said.

The Lottery Commission is considering the changes— and expansion of its player base—at a time when lottery

open a casino in the spring of 2017. A state economist estimates the new facility, located 16 miles north of Portland along I-5, will cost the lottery $65 million a year in lost revenue.

International lottery sales could provide an inoculation against the new casino. In materials he provided the commission, Stanford said international players could in effect replace the revenue lost to the Cowlitz casino. The Lotter estimates it could generate Oregon sales of nearly $50 million a year by 2018 and perhaps twice that.

The Lottery Commission is expected to vote on the rule changes next month.

“There’s no logical reason to oppose changing the rules,” Stanford says, “but if Oregon doesn’t want this business, my instructions are to start looking to take it elsewhere.”

Willamette Week JUNE 29, 2016 wweek.com

9

“IF WALT DISNEY WERE STILL ALIVE, HE MIGHT CREATE A SHOW AS MAGICAL AS CAVALIA’S NEW ODYSSEO, BUT IT WOULDN’T BE BETTER THAN THE WONDERFUL WORLD MASTERMIND NORMAND LATOURELLE HAS CREATED UNDER HIS BIG WHITE TOP.” - The Miami Herald

OPENS NEXT THURSDAY UNDER THE WHITE BIG TOP • At Zidell Yards in South Waterfront, Portland • cavalia.net • 1.866.999.8111 10

Willamette Week JUNE 29, 2016 wweek.com

NEWS

Saved by the Bell HOW DID PORTLAND PUBLIC SCHOOLS SUPERINTENDENT CAROLE SMITH GET TO STAY ANOTHER YEAR?

Did the lead scandal cause Carole Smith to announce her retirement?

Smith says she always planned to retire next June. But this was a disastrous spring.

The Oregonian reported elevated lead levels at two schools that had been kept secret for two months. WW revealed the names of dozens of schools where PPS apparently failed to disclose elevated lead levels for at least three years. PPS found 26 schools with high radon levels and acknowledges at least 20 schools with lead paint problems, along with other health hazards that will cost the district upward of $400 million to fix.

There’s no indication yet that the school system has directly harmed children’s health, but trust in the district has corroded. “It’s very clear that the lead crisis is only the tip of the iceberg,” says Portland School Board member Paul Anthony.

Both Anthony and School Board Chairman Tom Koehler say Smith decided to announce her retirement now because of the furor surrounding lead.

Who decided when Smith would retire?

Carole Smith did.

Koehler says Smith approached him with her decision to retire on June 21, the day of

M A H R O G A N N A

Portland Public Schools Superintendent Carole Smith is leaving. But not anytime soon.

On June 21, Smith announced she’ll retire in June 2017, at the end of her contract. Her announcement came after revelations that the district had for at least three years failed to alert students, parents and teachers to elevated levels of lead in school drinking water.

Smith’s timeline means she will remain the center of controversy for another year, even as PPS prepares to send a construction bond to voters in November.

Here are the burning questions swirling around the superintendent as the district heads into a long, hot summer.

the announcement. By Koehler’s account, Smith and he had for months been talking about how long she would stay on the job.

Smith claimed in her announcement that “the board has asked me to stay through the end of my contract in June 2017.” But two board members, Anthony and Steve Buel, went public saying they weren’t consulted in advance of the announcement; Anthony

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rmonahan@wweek.com

J

BY RACHEL MONAHAN

have the ability to extricate herself and the district from the crisis,” he says. “This culture of hiding problems has certainly been strengthened under her administration.”

Koehler, Amy Kohnstamm and Pam Knowles say they support Smith staying on for a year. The other three board members have declined to say.

“It’s not something for me to discuss in public,” says Buel. “Who discusses employees in public?”

The support is ironic. A year ago, four of the seven School Board members were elected as part of a wave of dissatisfaction with district leadership and on a promise not to rubber-stamp the superintendent’s decisions.

The board still has the power to fire

told WW he learned just eight minutes before the email went out to parents.

Koehler says he asked Smith to stay, but adds his request reflects the desire of a majority of the School Board.

Does the School Board really want her around for another year?

The majority of the board has so far accepted Smith’s decision to stay another year.

Only one board member, Anthony, has publicly objected to Smith remaining, telling WW it is “absolute nonsense. She has created the crisis, and she does not

Smith without cause. They just need to give three months’ notice or severance pay for that period.

When the lead scandal began, the board retained the law firm Stoll Berne to investigate what went wrong. That report is due in early July. Yet by announcing her departure date now, Smith got out in front of any bad news—and the board let her.

“The intention seemed to be to diffuse the spotlight that’s been on her,” says Portland Association of Teachers president Gwen Sullivan. “It seems very intentional.”

Why would the board want Smith to stay?

Before the lead crisis, Smith was enjoying a banner year. Negotiations with teachers were going smoothly, unlike two years ago when there was nearly a strike. It was only the second school year when she didn’t have to oversee budget cuts. The four-year graduation rates in Portland rose to 74 percent last year, up from 53 percent in 2009. Her crowning achievement this year was the improvements seen at Jefferson High School, the city’s traditionally AfricanAmerican high school, where the graduation rate hit 80 percent last year—a 25-point jump from four years before.

Are parents and teachers OK with Smith staying?

It depends. Smith still has loyal defenders among parents. But many want her gone now.

“As superintendent, Carole is dangerously out of touch with her responsibilities,” says Emily Petterson, a parent at Rose City Park School, where elevated lead levels were found. “It’s hard to wish anything negative onto anyone, but the bottom line is that Carole needs to be held culpable.”

Sullivan, the union president, says teachers are waiting for the results of the lead investigation—and they expect the board to act then. “They can’t ignore whatever comes out,” she says, “and I don’t think they will.”

How will Smith’s sticking around affect the November school bond?

The construction bond slated for the November ballot could include up to $556.5 million in repairs.

But the vote on the bond issue has the potential to turn into a referendum on Smith’s leadership.

“The ideal situation is a sense from the community that there’s stable and effective leadership,” says DHM Research vice president and political director John Horvick. “I would say it is partly a vote on people’s confidence in PPS’s leadership.”

The school bond campaign has polled voter support, but not since news of the lead crisis broke in full, says Kohnstamm, who co-chairs the bond campaign.

Teachers, whose support is crucial, are skeptical. “We need new facilities,” says Sullivan. “It’s not that we don’t, but the district has to show that it can manage itself.”

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THOMAS TEAL

FRUIT OF THE DOOMED: As a migrant farmworker years ago, Javier Lara imagined one day having his own farm and doing things differently. Like all Oregon strawberry growers, he faces a singular threat: California.

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THE STRAWBERRY DEFINED OREGON. IS IT GOING AWAY?

M

BY B ETH SLOVIC

bslovic@wweek.com

aria Gonzalez grasped the stem of a ripe Puget Crimson strawberry under a steady drizzle of June rain.

With her thumb and forefinger, she pinched the stalk above the strawberry’s cap, breaking the stem.

It was the third week of Oregon’s 2016 strawberry harvest—a 20-week window that started in mid-May and will trickle into October.

On this morning, the rows of berries at Anahuac Produce, a small farm in Molalla, were still cool an hour after sunrise, leaving the stalks firmer and easier to break.

Bent over the plants, Gonzalez, 25, picked with one hand until it was full, then gently tossed the berries into a bucket, careful not to bruise or crush any of the fruit. The latex gloves she wore to keep the juices from staining her hands were spotless.

The Oregon strawberry is a fragile treasure.

It’s fire-engine red, bursting with flavor, and sweeter and juicier than berries from anywhere else in the United States.

“It has a little bit of romance that our other berries don’t have,” says Bruce Pokarney, a spokesman for the Oregon Department of Agriculture. “Oregonians have a strong nostalgia for it. For a lot of people, it was tied to an experience as a kid. If you weren’t doing it as a job, you went to U-pick farms with your family.”

But the Oregon strawberry wasn’t built to last.

CONT. on page 13

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LARA CRAFT: Javier Lara grows strawberries in Molalla and pays workers by the hour, not the pound (see “Fresa Ideas,” page 18.)

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THOMAS TEAL

It’s highly perishable: The Hood variety, Oregon’s best known, needs to be sold within one day of picking during its three- to four-week season before shoppers will reject it as too ripe.

And it’s getting crushed—because California has built a sturdier strawberry.

In 1988, Oregon’s strawberry harvest hit its all-time high of 100 million pounds. Since then, strawberry production has dropped 85 percent to about 15 million pounds in 2015. A crop that reaped $31 million in 1988 now generates about $13 million a year.

Our southern neighbor has muscled Oregon growers out of much of the domestic market even as American consumers’ demand for fresh strawberries has quadrupled since 1980. While Oregon’s harvests have shrunk, California’s have grown to more than 2 billion pounds a year, up from 725 million pounds in 1987. Today, nine out of 10 U.S.-grown strawberries come from California.

California gobbled up Oregon’s share of the strawberry market by fulfilling the growing public demand for fresh strawberries from cheaper plants with a higher yield of tougher berries that travel better. California strawberries can travel and sit on grocery-store shelves 10 to 14 days after picking without spoiling.

The only thing Oregon strawberries have left going for them: They taste better than strawberries grown in California or anywhere else in America.

Nora Antene, a celebrated Portland pastry chef now at the soon-to-open restaurant Tusk, on East Burnside Street, says she uses only Oregon strawberries because the flavor is sweeter and more complex than California’s. “They’re more like strawberry candy,” she says.

That may no longer be enough. The decline of the Oregon strawberry represents a trend that vexes this state in other areas of its economy and culture: What grows in California changes Oregon.

The Oregon strawberry is doomed to become a niche product—the vinyl record of fruit—unless someone can find a way to build a better berry.

The moment a strawberry is picked, a race against the clock begins.

Under snow-capped Mount St. Helens looming in the distance, Hood strawberries stretch across a field on Matt Unger’s 143-acre farm in Cornelius.

A lane of straw separates each row of plants, placed by hand to protect the berries from splashes of mud when it rains.

Mini carts, narrow and low to the ground, aid the workers, who crouch on bended knees as if to offer a marriage proposal. They sweep their hands quickly over the strawberry bushes, brushing aside leaves and looking for hidden clusters of berries.

There is definitely a technique to their labor.

Hood strawberries have dense foliage and relatively small berries, making it harder for workers to find and pick the berries. Each berry’s cap is left intact because the caps make the berries look better and extend their shelf life. It’s better to pick in the morning, when the plants are cool and easier to snap and the berries don’t turn to juice in workers’ hands.

A fast worker won’t grab just one berry and toss it in her pallet. She’ll grab four or five per hand before taking the time to drop them in.

And before she does, she’ll review the berries in her hand, putting the best berries in one box and tossing bruised or damaged berries in a separate pile that Unger Farms will sell for juice concentrate.

In 2012, according to the Oregon Department of Agriculture, strawberries bound for the processed market fetched 58 cents per pound, compared with $1.39 per pound if they were going to the fresh market.

M AYA S E T T O N

Strawberry Shorthand

The strawberries Oregon grows are the nation’s reddest, sweetest and most fragile. Horticulture professors at Washington State University track annual strawberry plant sales in the Pacific Northwest.

Here are the five most popular varieties grown in Oregon.

1. Tillamook

Flavorful and durable, the most popular strawberry in Oregon bears large to very large berries that pickers love because they’re easier to find and pluck, meaning they can make more money.

Percentage of new Oregon strawberry plants in 2015: 28

3. Hood

The best-loved Oregon strawberry is soft, small and fragile, making it hard to pick and to keep on retailers’ shelves for more than a day. It’s also one of the first in Oregon to ripen, sometimes before pickers from California move up to Oregon.

Percentage of all Oregon strawberry plants in 2015: 10

BERRY DELICIOUS: Oregon strawberries, like these at the Portland Farmers Market at PSU, command a huge following because of their intense flavor and rich red color. “Oregon grows very high-quality fruit, and the environment is perfect for that internally red, sweeter-tasting berry that you don’t necessarily see coming from other regions,” says Julie Pond, a crop consultant.

Barton, a retired strawberry marketer with the Oregon Department of Agriculture. “And a lot of the smaller growers don’t have the financial infrastructure to do that.”

Less than 20 percent of Oregon strawberries arrive fresh on grocery shelves. The rest are processed, meaning they’ll be frozen or turned into flavors for yogurts, jams and ice creams.

That’s long been the case in Oregon, where warm days and cool nights produce a berry that’s sweeter and redder than berries grown in warmer climates. That means products that use Oregon strawberries have more intense flavor and use less coloring.

As strawberry production has declined in Oregon, the split between processed and fresh berries has shifted slightly to fresh berries that fetch higher prices and command a local following.

In 2000, 33.5 million pounds of Oregon strawberries entered the processed market, while 1.8 million pounds were sold fresh. In 2014, growers processed nearly 13 million pounds of Oregon strawberries and sold 2.5 million pounds of fresh berries.

In California, the split is the reverse. Eighty percent of the state’s 2.75 billion pounds of strawberries in 2014 went to the fresh market.

But here’s the rub: The small percentage of berries that California shuttles off for processing—more than 500 million pounds of strawberries in a given year—still dwarfs the 13 million pounds Oregon produces for the same market.

CONT. on page 17

S O U R C E S : C A L I F O R N I A S T R AW B E R R Y C O M M I S S I O N ; PAT M O O R E , WA S H I N G TO N S TAT E U N I V E R S I T Y

Many kinds of imperfections will doom the berry to the processed market. Just one example: “We want to see evenly spaced seeds,” says Will Unger, 33, one of Matt Unger’s sons.

“Otherwise, they go juice.”

Will Unger is the third generation of his family to grow Oregon strawberries. His father grew up picking berries on his dad’s farm, then struck out on his own in 1981. “I guess it’s in my blood,” says Matt Unger, who’s also chairman of the Oregon Strawberry Commission. “It’s something to be proud of when you put out a quality product.”

The Ungers have developed an elaborate system to keep their berries cool in the afternoon before they’re shipped to grocers.

To make sure the Hoods stay plump-looking and bright red, they’re trucked out of the fields as soon as workers pick about 180 boxes. They’ll immediately be put in front of huge fans that cool the berries to about 35 degrees, then placed in a refrigeration room, where they’ll sit overnight waiting to be delivered directly to customers like New Seasons Market the next day.

“It’s definitely a logistical challenge,” says Chris Harris, produce merchandiser and local buyer for New Seasons. “You need to be able to cool them down right away. Because they only last a day, we need deliveries every single day.”

But that’s the kind of sophisticated operation and delivery system most strawberry farmers— who operate on thin profit margins (see “Getting the Juice,” page 17)—don’t have.

“You’ve got to get them out of the sun and you’ve got to get them chilled,” says Laura

2. Totem

Developed in British Columbia in 1971, the Totem has a rich, red color inside and out.

It’s not as firm as the Tillamook, and it’s a favorite of processors.

Percentage of new Oregon strawberry plants in 2015: 16

4. Albion

This is a California variety that’s grown in Oregon because it produces a big spring crop, then a smaller number of berries throughout the summer.

Sometimes pale on the inside.

Percentage of new Oregon strawberry plants in 2015: 8

5. Shuksan

Developed in 1970 at Washington State University after a bad winter freeze, the Shuksan withstands cold and has red color throughout the berry.

Percentage of new Oregon strawberry plants in 2015: 6

It’s harder to know what Californians are growing. Close to half of California-grown strawberries are proprietary varieties—trade secrets. Here are three of the state’s best-known varieties.

1. Monterey This plant developed at the University of California, Davis, produces large, firm berries.

It’s an everbearing plant, meaning it produces all summer. Oregon State University researchers describe it as large, firm and light in color with a mild “nontraditional” flavor. The California Strawberry Commission describes that flavor as a “distinct sweet aftertaste.”

2. San Andreas Also an everbearing variety, the San Andreas is slightly lighter than the Albion in color. Oregon researchers call it bland.

The California Strawberry Commission calls it “exceptional in appearance.”

3. Albion Also a popular variety in Oregon, the Albion is sometimes pale on the inside. The California Strawberry Commission describes it as “large, conical, firm and very sweet with a bright red sheen and long shelf life.”

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getting the juice The profit margin for Oregon’s strawberry growers is nearly as narrow as the window when their fruit can be eaten fresh.

Let’s say you buy a half-flat of Hood strawberries from Cornelius’ Unger Farms, sold at New Seasons Market for $15.99 starting in mid-May. A half-flat is 6 pints of strawberries, or about 5 pounds. Here’s where the money goes.

W W S TA F F

BETH SLOVIC

Cost of one large cardboard box, plus six pint boxes:

$1.50

New Seasons keeps:

$4.99

Pickers’ wages:

$3.00

Payroll taxes on pickers’ wages, plus hourly salaries for field supervisors:

$2.00

Farm overhead, including family farmers’ wages, berry refrigeration and electricity:

Cost of delivery from Cornelius to New Seasons stores:

$0.50 Cost of managing the fields, including cost of weeding and applying fertilizer and pesticides:

$1.50

$2.50

Shopper pays:

$15.99

“That byproduct becomes the competition for Oregon,” says Bernadine Strik, a berry expert at Oregon State University.

“What makes it difficult is that California’s volume of processed fruit is over half a billion pounds. That’s an incredible volume of fruit—more than 40 times what Oregon produces.”

Jeff Malensky knows that math intimately.

Malensky, a third-generation berry processor, operates Oregon Berry Packing, which takes strawberries from the field, slices or freezes them whole in 30-pound pails for shipping in the U.S. or abroad.

He says his family business in Hillsboro is still packing strawberries for one reason: Japanese ice cream.

One of his biggest clients is the Japan branch of HäagenDazs, whose recipe for strawberry ice cream depends on the Totem variety of Oregon strawberry, he says. “Without them, I don’t know where we’d be,” he says.

Malensky says some customers still demand high-quality berries, even though Oregon growers struggle to scale their operations to compete with California’s cheaper product.

“If a buyer is looking for low cost, it’s not us,” he says. “If they’re looking for high quality, they found the right spot.”

What makes California so much better at growing strawberries?

The first answer is climate. In much of California, farmers enjoy warm days and cool nights, the perfect combination for strawberry-growing. Unlike Oregon, which enjoys a roughly four-month strawberry season, California can grow strawberries year-round.

(That drier climate means California can also grow larger amounts of organic strawberries. In Oregon, it’s difficult to consistently grow significant quantities of organic strawberries.

Pesticides don’t just kill bugs. They protect against rot from rains, so Oregon strawberry farmers depend on them.)

CONT. on page 18 Willamette Week JUNE 29, 2016 wweek.com

17

The second reason: science. Mega-suppliers like Driscoll’s in Watsonville, Calif., have funded their own research, and growers fund more at the University of California, Davis. That work has helped California boost its plants’ yield to seven times what Oregon’s bushes produce.

California growers also plant strawberry varieties— Monterey and San Andreas, for example—that produce big berries with less foliage so they’re easier for workers to pick and cheaper for farmers to grow (see “Strawberry Shorthand,” page 15).

“They’re literally trying to hit that sweet spot,” says Carolyn O’Donnell, a spokeswoman for the California Strawberry Commission. “So it looks good, the plant produces well, it tastes good, and it ships well.”

There are downsides to California’s very efficient system, which depends on replanting every year to increase yield. Oregon berry boosters say California growers pick their crops when they’re 75 percent red, leaving them to ripen as they travel to their final destination. (The California Strawberry Commission says that’s not true.)

Replanting every year also requires fumigating the soil—something Oregon growers don’t have to do—to control pests. (In recent years, the California strawberry industry came under scrutiny for the use of fumigants shown to deplete the ozone and harm workers and residents near farms.)

Does California at least acknowledge Oregon’s strawberries taste better? Not exactly.

“Every community that grows strawberries,” O’Donnell says, “believes their strawberries are the best.”

It’s Chad Finn’s job to find a better berry for Oregon strawberry growers.

At his U.S. Department of Agriculture lab at Oregon State University, he has been pursuing that quest with other berry researchers since 1993. “If we had a perfect blend, it would put us out of a job,” he jokes.

Finn has had some successes, including the Tillamook, a berry released in 2004 that is now Oregon’s most commonly grown strawberry, eclipsing the Hood. Workers love it, Finn says, because the plants produce big berries that are easier to pick and can last four days. Workers can also make more money when they’re picking five berries

FARM FRESH: Unger Farms in Cornelius rushes fresh-picked Hood strawberries to coolers to keep them store-ready for as long as possible, about two days.

per pound compared to 10 berries per pound.

Finn is not satisfied. “If I could have Tillamook with Hood flavor,” he says, “I would be a happy man.”

He’s been pursuing that ideal for 22 years—and still doesn’t have a strawberry to compete with California.

Americans are eating more strawberries now than ever. But the growth has happened almost entirely in the fresh market, where Oregon has failed to compete. The average American ate 8 pounds of fresh strawberries in 2013—up from 2 pounds in 1980, according to the USDA. Demand for frozen strawberries has hovered between 1 and 2 pounds per year over the same period.

Those trends worry Malensky, the Hillsboro berry processor. “I don’t know if we’ll have a strawberry industry in five years,” he says.

Even the state’s biggest cheerleaders for Oregon straw-

berries have trouble predicting the berry’s future. Recognizing the demand for fresh fruit, some Oregon farmers are switching to blueberries, which Oregon growers can ship internationally, thanks to their four-week shelf life.

As California seeks to increase its advantage, Oregon strawberry boosters wonder how many harvests they have to look forward to.

“Oregon has always ridden on the idea that our berries are redder, sweeter, more delicious,” says Barton, a retired marketer with the Oregon Department of Agriculture. “People want fresh berries. Well, guess who does fresh berries? It’s California, and they grow thousands of acres of them. As California improves their flavor, what do we have over them?”

fresa ideas

A

dd this to the many pressures facing the Oregon strawberry: a growing clamor to stabilize wages for migrant workers whose sweat brings Americans their food.

Unlike a lot of fruits and even other berries, strawberries must be handpicked, which makes labor one of the biggest costs of doing business for farmers.

Javier Lara, 43, is throwing a wrench into the uneasy accord between growers and labor.

His experiment?

Paying strawberry pickers by the hour.

“It can be done,” he says. “We’re an example.”

In almost all U.S. operations, strawberry pickers are paid by the pound, as an incentive to harvest as many as possible. Oregon law requires that farmers pay workers at least minimum wage if they fail to meet that threshold at the piece rate, except at very small farms.

If they’re fast and the berries are big and plentiful, many strawberry pickers can make more than

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minimum wage—which is set to rise 50 cents to $9.75 an hour in the Portland area, and 25 cents in the rest of the state, on July 1.

“A lot of workers kill themselves picking as much strawberries as they can in a day so they can make up their wages because they haven’t worked in months,” says Ramon Ramirez, co-founder of Pineros y Campesinos Unidos del Noroeste, the union for Northwest tree-planters and farmworkers. (It is often referred to as PCUN.) “It’s the first crop, so people are anxious to get to work.”

Standing in one of his fields—a 2-acre organic strawberry patch in Molalla, where the lack of herbicides has permitted towers of Canadian thistle weeds over some berry bushes—Lara is wearing a red- and blue-striped sweatshirt, jeans and a broad smile on a recent June morning, even though it’s steadily raining.

Born in Guerrero, Mexico, Lara was a migrant farmworker for many years, arriving as an undocumented immigrant to the United States in 1989, when he was about 16. It was grape season in California, and he was picking them for raisins. “I had no idea what I was getting myself into,” he says.

He remembers the aches. He also remembers farmers’ indifference. “They always saw us as just another item on the farm,” he says.

Lara eventually married a U.S. citizen. He graduated from Oregon State University in 2009 with a degree in philosophy and ethnic studies. He considers what he’s doing more than a job—it’s selfempowerment, and he hopes it spreads.

“This is a statement, what we’re doing,” he says.

“We’re more than Mexicans.”

Lara estimates his workers can pick 80 to 100 pounds per day. At $13 an hour, that means they’re earning a daily wage of $104—or $1 to $1.30 per pound.

That doesn’t automatically mean they’re making more money, but it divorces their pay from the speed of their picking.

At Unger Farms in Cornelius, workers earn between 60 and 80 cents per pound, depending on the ease of picking—but they can also make more than $13 an hour. The slowest picker harvests between 20 and 25 pounds per hour—or $12 to $15 per hour when the picking is good, says farmer Will Unger.

(Pickers who harvest strawberries for the pro-

PHOTOS BY THOMAS TEAL

PICKED OVER: Nine out of 10 U.S.-grown strawberries come from California, but Oregon growers such as Unger Farms are trying their best to compete by offering fresh, local berries.

cessed market—the largest share of Oregon strawberries— make less per pound, because those berries are worth less.)

A farm like Lara’s—which he calls Anahuac Produce, using an indigenous word for “land of the people”—accounts for a tiny fraction of Oregon’s total strawberry production. It hopes to sell 2,000 boxes in 2016, through farmers markets and by direct sales to union supporters in Portland and Salem. By comparison, Unger Farms expects to sell 30,000 to 40,000 boxes of Hood strawberries this season. And that’s just an infinitesimal fraction of the California strawberry market.

For Octavio Salvadór, a worker at Lara’s farm, none of that matters. Salvadór, 19, started picking strawberries alongside his parents when he was 9.

He arrived with his family from Mexico without documents but now has a work permit under President Obama’s program for immigrants who arrived as children and graduated from American high schools. (Called Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals, the program was mostly untouched by last week’s U.S. Supreme Court decision blocking Obama’s immigration plan.)

What matters to Salvadór is more than money.

“I’ve worked for other companies that don’t give you time to rest,” he says. “Here, no one’s telling us to hurry up. You can work at the rhythm you want.” BETH SLOVIC.

BY THE HOUR: Octavio Salvadór, 19, says he started picking berries when he was 9. He’s paid by the hour, not the pound, at Anahuac Produce in Molalla. “I’ve worked for other companies that don’t give you time to rest,” he says.

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page 46

STARTERS

BITE-SIZED PORTLAND CULTURE NEWS.

CHILLIN’ IN THE CUT: The Portland rapper formerly known as Luck-One is now the barber formerly known for being a rapper. On June 26, Hanif Collins—who began performing under the stylized name “HANiF” during a recent three-year stint in New York—surprise-released what he’s calling his final album, Dance! (Despite the Pain), which he made available on his Bandcamp page for COLLINS only a few hours. Now, he’s transitioning into a new business venture: a combination barbershop and rare bookstore called Scissor Work, located on Portland’s South Waterfront. Though he’s long had an interest in cutting hair, “it became a passion for me in New York,” Collins says. “What I would do is find the richest barbershops, where they’re cutting rich white people. They always need a brother, because on the slim chance there’s a brother walking down the street in SoHo who wants to pay $50 for a haircut, who’s going to cut it?” But Collins says his store will “cater to everyone.” “A barbershop is a gathering place for men,” he says. “If I can create a space where people can come in and get their hair cut regardless of their cultural background, then I can be one of the first people to start those conversations we need to have to move ourselves into a society where we really understand each other.” Collins will also sell “leftist and banned books” at the store, some from his own collection. He’s aiming for a grand opening at the end of July.

H A N I F. B A N D C A M P. C O M

August 19, 20, 21

“In Portland, it’s like a Miss America pageant, but all of the winners are mountains and trees.”

NEW NOODLES: The Japanese noodle invasion of the Portland area continues…this time via Las Vegas. Sapporoborn partners Yoshinari Ichise and Tomio Takada—founders of the Ramen Sora chain that spans Las Vegas, Japan and the Philippines—plan a new ramen shop in Beaverton called Ramen Ryoma. They plan to open this July inside the Uwajimaya store on Beaverton-Hillsdale Highway, serving up a “secret blend” of torigara (chicken) and tonkotsu (pork bone) broths, using hand-massaged temomi noodles and a vast array of add-ons, including spicy pork, seaweed and butter, along with the usual egg and chashu. >> On North Killingsworth Street, meanwhile, Portland will be getting its first combination surf shop and beer garden, from German-born surfer and videographer Martin Schoeneborn. Up North Surf Club is expected to open near Portland Community College sometime this summer with taps both Teutonic and local, along with surfboards and surf-related apparel.

AHAVATH ACHIM 22

Willamette Week JUNE 29, 2016 wweek.com

DOCOMOMO-OREGON.ORG

BYE BYE BARBUR: The historic Ahavath Achim synagogue on Southwest Barbur Boulevard may soon be demolished to make way for an apartment complex. Beaverton architecture firm Stewart Gordon Straus began the application process July 17 to construct a 30-unit apartment complex on the site of the distinctive dome, which is currently listed in the city’s historic resource inventory.

I L L U S T R AT I O N B Y R I C K V O D I C K A

Headout

WHAT TO DO THIS WEEK IN ARTS & CULTURE

WEDNESDAY JUNE 29 Esmé Patterson

[FOLK ROCK] The music on Esmé Patterson’s third solo album, the subtly rambunctious We Were Wild, finds the Portland singer-songwriter at her most direct and candid, exploring both the feminine and grisly sides of her voice as she powers through bopping rock ’n’ roll, gentle pop and slide-guitar country with graceful ease. Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., 503288-3895. 9 pm. $12 advance, $14 day of show. 21+.

THURSDAY JUNE 30 Modified Style Portland

FREEDOMLAND HOW PORTLANDERS CAN CELEBRATE THE FOURTH OF JULY BY CROSSING THE COLUMBIA TO A BASTION OF HOPE AND FREEDOM AS OUR FOUNDING FATHERS ENVISIONED IT.

BY G R AC E C U L H A N E

gculhane@wweek.com

Most days, Portland is a fine place to be. We enjoy an exceptional quality of life, with low rates of violent crime, a cost of living still well below that of other West Coast metropoles, and no megadroughts.

But the Fourth of July is not most days.

You should be celebrating this nation’s legacies of interventionism, economic imperialism, and hard-won freedoms with barbecues, brewskis, Bruce Springsteen and fireworks.

Yet Oregon lawmakers are always trying to dampen the party.

As a result, many Portlanders are forced to make one very specific annual pilgrimage.

Just across the Columbia lies a freedomland of pyrotechnical debauchery. Vancouver is a place where Roman candles whistle over your shoulder and stupid little sparklers are seen only in the hands of the most asthmatic of 11-year-olds.

Would you like a piece of the American dream? Well, you can have it in Vancouver.

Here’s what you can do in the free state of Washington that you can’t do here.

Get some real fireworks!

“The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants.” —THOMAS JEFFERSON

Fireworks are dangerous. According to the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission, they’re responsible for 11 deaths a year.

Eleven. Vending machines kill 13. You’re twice as likely to die from a Champagne cork as from fireworks. But, by all means, let’s pass

law after law in the name of “safety” until America is the dystopian hellscape Suzanne Collins warned us about.

Pump your own gas!

“Those who would give up essential Liberty, to purchase a little temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety.” —BENJAMIN FRANKLIN Oregon is a nanny state where grown men and women—even the people who fought for this country, securing our freedom—are not entrusted with basic technology that functions safely in every other state that isn’t basically just one big collection of trash bags caught on a chain-link fence (New Jersey). In Washington, you can fill the tank of your Chevy with $17.76 worth of premium without getting any side eye.

Buy some Sudafed!

“America was not built on fear. America was built on courage, on imagination and an unbeatable determination to do the job at hand.” —HARRY S. TRUMAN For the past decade, Oregon has had the strictest pseudoephedrine laws in the country. If you come down with a bad cold, you have to get a doctor’s prescription to buy relief. In Washington, they simply track your purchases while still giving you medicine to breathe.

Oregon continues to suffer a meth epidemic, but now you have to make an appointment with a doctor and wait next to a pill-seeking opioid addict rather than just standing behind a tweaker at the grocery store.

Buy a handle of Jack Daniels at the grocery store!

“Drinking Champagne is a perfectly acceptable way to celebrate being elected president…of France.” —JACK DANIELS You might have to shell out a little extra for Old No. 7 on the Vancouver side of the river, but it’s a small price to pay for the triumph of the private sector. In the freedom-loving state of Washington, the government knows not to come between the people and their liquor, and you don’t see any state-sponsored socialist hooch hawkers either.

Pay no taxes!

“What a man has honestly acquired is absolutely his own, which he may freely give, but cannot be taken from him without his consent.” —SAMUEL ADAMS Our Founding Fathers waged a bloody rebellion that cost 25,000 patriotic American lives because they didn’t want to pay taxes. Washington honors the memory of these fallen heroes by refusing to collect a state income tax, instead topping the “Terrible Ten” list of states with the most regressive tax systems in the country. Sure, Washington relies on a sales tax that disproportionately burdens the working poor, taxing the poorest 20 percent of its residents at a rate that’s seven times higher than that for the wealthy, but flash your Oregon ID while buying Jack Daniels, Sudafed and Roman candles, and these trifles will fade away faster than you can Google the 16th Amendment.

[FASHION SHOW] The 7th annual fashion show competition is equal parts runway, concert, vendor extravaganza and variety show.

Coco Columbia headlines, drag queen LuLu Luscious emcees, and aspiring designers compete for bragging rights in a handful of categories. Everything is to benefit local nonprofits that give clothing to women and foster children. Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside St., 503-225-0047. 7 pm. $15 advance, $20 day of show. All ages.

FRIDAY JULY 1 Waterfront Blues Festival

[BLUES PLUS] Yeah, it actually costs money now, and you have to navigate the sea of dads sprawled on the grass in lawn chairs. But the lineup is damn solid, especially at the top, with sets from N’awlins voodoo-funk high priest Dr. John, Afrobeat scion Femi Kuti, saxophone deity Maceo Parker and a special Prince tribute from Portland’s own Liv Warfield. Tom McCall Waterfront Park, Naito Parkway between Southwest Harrison and Northwest Glisan streets. $10 single-day ticket, $40 weekend pass. Through July 4.

See waterfrontbluesfest.com for schedule.

SATURDAY JULY 2 Russian Roulette

[GAME SHOW] Mix Wheel of Fortune, Moth storytelling, and Truth or Dare, and you’d have Back Fence PDX’s Roulette.

Seven performers spin a wheel to get a prompt, which they keep or pass, and then get five minutes to make it into an act. This round stars locals like Lez Stand Up comedian Caitlin Weyerhaeuser and Emmynominated drag star Sasha Scarlett, and one Seattleite, a city council member named John Roderick. Disjecta, 8371 N Interstate Ave., backfencepdx. com. 8 pm. $18. 21+.

Loud n Lit

[BIKES] You missed the World Naked Bike Ride last weekend?

Overcompensate with the year’s loudest and most lit group ride, where thousands of bikes are wrapped with lights and rolling DJ booths blast classics at 300 watts. Last year, about 2,000 rode and it ended with an open-bar party. Irving City Park, Northeast 7th Avenue and Fremont Street. 10 pm. Free.

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Simple ApproAch

Bold FlAvor vegan Friendly

open 11-10

everyday

FOOD & DRINK = WW Pick.

Highly recommended.

By MATTHEW KORFHAGE. Editor: MARTIN CIZMAR. Email: dish@wweek.com. See page 3 for submission instructions.

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 29 Ham Independence Day by La Quercia

I

500 NW 21st Ave, (503) 208-2173 kungpowpdx.com

Shandong www.shandongportland.com

For the fifth year, Iowa-based boutique pig farmers La Quercia are throwing a ham party, this time at Pearl-based boutique bar Hamlet, with four courses of premium pig in dishes like serrano stuffed trout, each with a sherry pairing. Hamlet, 232 NW 12th Ave., hamletpdx.com. 5 pm. $75.

THURSDAY, JUNE 30 Bald, Beard & Bier

Graham Chaney of Stammtisch joins similarly hairy and hairless Aaron Barnett (St. Jack, La Moule) for a heartening Belgian-German truce: six paired courses of Belgian and German food and drink. La Moule, 2500 SE www.shandongportland.com Clinton St., 971-339-2822. 6:30 pm. $100 prix fixe.

Shandong FRIDAY, JULY 1 Portland Craft Beer Festival

For a second year, this fest will serve only beers brewed in the city limits.

Buy your ticket in advance for extra pours. The Fields Neighborhood Park, 1099 NW Overton St., portlandcraftbeerfestival.com. Through July 3. $25 for a mug and 15 beer tickets.

SATURDAY, JULY 2 Fusspot Chicken

It’s all dark meat and fried-to-order at this Korean fried chicken pop-up, where plates come with a spicy gochujang sauce and slaw. Email for pre-orders and pickup. KitchenCru, 337 NW Broadway, kitchencru.biz.

5 pm. $12 per plate.

SUNDAY, JULY 3 Korean Brunch

Portland’s hip new Korean spot takes on brunch, with a prix-fixe menu of small plates like soy pickled sweet walla walla or koji salt baked pork belly. Coffee is included, gratuity is not. Han Oak, 511 NE 24th Ave., hanoakpdx.com. 11 am. $35.

1. Los Michoacanos

Southeast 148th Avenue and Stark Street, 503-953-9305.

Jose Graciano’s tacos are the finest in town, each protein and fresh tortilla lightly caramelized to perfection. $.

2. Please Louise

1505 NW 21st Ave., 503-946-1853.

The basic, modern pizzeria that Slabtown needed. $$.

3. Sadie Mae’s

10530 SE Washington St., 503-257-0660.

Reel M Inn chicken, but uncrowded and in Gateway. $.

4. Basilisk

820 NE 27th Ave., 503-234-7151.

Chicken-sandwich spot Basilisk makes the densest and sweetest soft-serve in town, with Kool-Aid flavors. $.

5. Laurelhurst Market

3155 E Burnside St., 503-206-3097, laurelhurstmarket.com.

Spicy parking-lot chicken. Perfect. $.

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DRANK

New Beers From Great Notion Brewing A Beer With No Name

What do you do when you’re a tiny brewery with thin margins that randomly turns out a bad batch? Well, in the case of Northeast Alberta Street’s 6-month-old Great Notion, you try to make some lemonade out of those lemons. For whatever reason, a batch of its standard-bearing Vermont-style Juice Box Double IPA didn’t turn out as intended. In an attempt to resuscitate it, the brewers dry-hopped it with Hallertau Blanc hops. The resulting beer is cloudy but lacks the pillowy mouthfeel of its parent. The edges are thin and sharp, and the Mosaic hops give an off note I’m not used to tasting in a Great Notion beer. Yes, this is still better than half the IPAs on tap in Portland, but it’s not what you expect from this brewery.

Not recommended. MARTIN CIZMAR.

Plump IPA

Plump IPA is plump. It doesn’t have the hoppy, almost steamy aromatic wallop of Great Notion’s original Ripe recipe.

And it doesn’t have the single-minded, pulpy-OJ character of its IPAs named after juice. But what it does have is a beautiful roundness—a balance between the alpha-acid bitterness and grapefruit flavors more typical of West Coast IPAs, and the turbid orange-juiciness Great Notion has made its name on. It is a balance struck in part by the addition of bittersweet El Dorado hops alongside tropical Mosaic—the same hop pairing that brings satisfying equilibrium to Breakside’s terrific India Golden Ale. And hell, compared to Great Notion’s usual IPAs, this one is almost strawcolored. At a mere 6 percent ABV, it’s almost a pale, while packing a big-for-Great-Notion 60 IBUs. But the balance feels less like compromise than agreement—it’s a damn good beer, and should fare well among West Coast nativists and Vermont separatists alike. Recommended. MATTHEW KORFHAGE.

Stash Imperial IPA

I’m not really an Imperial guy. I don’t like industrial-strength hop nukes in the first place, and I like them even less when they’re used to barely conceal the harsh boozy bite of 10 percent IPA. Just drink vodka, for Pete’s sake. Which is why I like the well-rounded flavor of Great Notion’s Stash Imperial IPA. By playing it comparatively light at 8.5 percent ABV, Stash doesn’t have to lean on hopping of Pine-Sol strength. Despite being described by Great Notion as “dank and resinous,” Stash tastes more like a subdued, balanced IPA. The result is a classic if not gently fruity hop flavor on the tongue, giving way to light malt that slips through at the end of a very quaffable but potent imperial IPA. I don’t know if Stash is at its heart an IIPA for people who don’t like IIPAs, but it’s certainly a take on the style that stands out because of its control and drinkability. Recommended. WALKER MACMURDO.

CHRISTINE DONG

REVIEW

FINGER-DIPPIN’ GOOD: Fried chicken at Hat Yai.

On Their Grind

HAT YAI IS THE BEST NEW THAI SPOT PORTLAND HAS SEEN IN A LONG TIME.

Hat Yai is named for a city on the southern edge of Thailand near the Malaysian border, 1,000 miles due south of Chiang Mai, where Pok Pok draws much of its inspiration. It’s a

BY M A RT I N C I Z M A R mcizmar@wweek.com different world.

Southern Thailand is known for its spicy In America, the pigs say oink. In Mexico, roosters fare, and my two favorite dishes at Hat Yai both say quiquiriqui. And in Thailand, the sound a stone fit the form. pestle makes when grinding lemongrass, coriander The first was the house curry, made from red seeds and bird’s eye chilies in its matching mortar chili, cilantro, cumin, cinnamon, galangal coconut is transliterated as pok pok. oil and coconut milk, which comes in a small bowl The story of how Andy Ricker named his for $4. To turn that into an entree, you’ll need to decade-old Division Street Thai restaurant is in spend $3 on rice or roti, saucer-sized, pan-fried his book, which turns the mortar and pestle into flatbread you may have seen next to the naan at an a metaphor for the Thai perspective on cooking— Indian restaurant. That red curry contained such spice is life, and food processors a rich, deep flavor, it was tough to can’t match the vibrant flavors single out any ingredient—on one Order this: Get two roti with you get from a curry made by visit, it was an effect as much as one curry dipping cup ($3 for each roti, $4 for the curry), crushing garlic and galangal with it was a flavor, like bass you feel split a whole chicken ($23) and an ancient tool. But until a recent more than hear. It comes with a 1.6-liter bottle of Hite ($12). meal at Hat Yai, I’d never actually beef cheek or chicken, but I prefer heard the kitchen grinding. it as a side dip.

Hat Yai is a new counter-service space from Earl The second was ground pork ($12). It was also Ninsom, the restaurateur behind the fairly typical balanced, but by competing zings—bright citrus, Thai spot PaaDee and the prix-fixe supper club rich pork and searing spice. The heat prickled, located behind it, Langbaan. In some ways, Hat Yai but it was grounded by a refreshing earthiness. is the least ambitious of the three, wedged into a Hat Yai, the city, is famous for its fried chicknarrow slot between Podnah’s Pit and Handsome en, which is imitated across Thailand. The birds Pizza on Northeast Killingsworth Street, and fur- are battered in rice flour and coated in crushed nished with tiny tables that can’t accommodate a peppercorns and fried shallots. I tried a halffull meal without some Jenga. You’re paying about chicken ($12 with sticky rice) on all three visits $25 per person plus tip, but there’s no attempt to and found it tasty each time, but also rather course out the meal—the type of unfortunate jag- inconsistent. On my first visit, the coating was ged edges familiar from Ninsom’s other spots. thick and bready. On the next, it was thin but And Hat Yai is not perfect. Two of the three hard and sugary, almost like a caramel apple. cocktails tasted like canned fruit salad (get the On the third, it was thin but light on sugar. I still-too-sweet Tamarind Whiskey Smash, $9), preferred the thinner, sweeter shell, which and the beer is mostly overpriced Asian imports juxtaposed nicely with the fried shallots, but it’s ($5 for a 12-ounce bottle of Tiger) except for hard to find fault with any of them.

Double Mountain Kölsch ($5 for a draft pint) and That’s not true of the Hat Yai as a whole—a the 1.6-liter bottle of Hite ($12 for 54 ounces). month in, there’s much to improve about the But about that mortar and pestle. There’s one drinks, service and space—but the depth of flavor next to the counter, and you might hear a cook is irresistible at such a casual restaurant. pulverizing peppers as you eat, to extraordinary So I say pok pok pok pok pok pok—keep effect. Even if you’ve eaten through the Pok Pok grindin’. menu and read Ricker’s book, you’re in for a trip; if you flip to that cookbook’s index, you’ll find EAT: Hat Yai, 1605 NE Killingsworth St., 503-764-9701. 11:30 am-9 pm Sunday-Thursday, most of Hat Yai’s menu unmentioned.

11:30 am-10 pm Friday-Saturday.

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MUSIC H O T S E AT

FIVE OTHER HIGHLIGHTS OF THE 2016 WATERFRONT BLUES FESTIVAL

Purple Blues PRINCE IS GONE, BUT IN LIV WARFIELD, HIS LESSONS LIVE ON.

BY M AT T H E W S I N G E R

Lloyd Allen (Friday, noon)

A true legend of the Portland blues scene, Lloyd Allen honed his guitar chops and sense of showmanship at long-forgotten local clubs stretching back to the ’50s. Seeing him here, at the most un-blues-like of hours, should satisfy as a teaser, but for the full experience, catch him on a Saturday night at the Blue Diamond, where he wanders between tables, flirting with ladies, and sometimes goes straight out the front door to woo passersby on the street.

msinger@wweek.com

When Prince died April 21, the world lost a singular genius, an icon whose musical gifts were so preternatural it seemed like he would never actually die—that he would just sort of vanish whenever his mission here ended, his energy redistributing among the universe.

For Liv Warfield, though, Prince wasn’t a starman fallen to earth, or a ball of light in human form, or even a larger-than-life pop star. He was practically a family member.

“Prince is my brother,” she says while on a break from rehearsals for the BET Awards in Los Angeles, where she took park in Sheila E.’s blockbuster tribute Sunday to the man who was once also her boss. At a time when Warfield was considering giving up on her music career, the former Portland-based singer was recruited into the New Power Generation on the strength of a video of her crushing the Rolling Stones’ “Gimme Shelter” at PDX Pop Now. Over the next eight years, Prince would become not just her employer but also her mentor, serving as executive producer on Warfield’s 2014 solo album, The Unexpected. He held such a presence in her life that she’s still struggling to process his absence. “I miss hearing his voice,” she says. “I miss being able to call him.”

But while Prince may be gone, the things Warfield learned from him—about being an artist, performer and person—are an inextricable part of who she is today. At this weekend’s Waterfront Blues Festival, Warfield, along with other members of the NPG, leads a set subtitled “What Prince Taught Us.” WW spoke to Warfield about some of those lessons.

WW: Before Prince discovered you, how did you discover Prince?

Liv Warfield: The first time I heard Prince’s music, I think I was in eighth grade. My aunt would be in the car, listening to his music. I would hear bits and pieces. They wouldn’t play the nasty stuff for me. I grew up in the church, but I would hear “Kiss” and “1999.” But in high school, I was really searching him out.

What did you think when you eventually heard the explicit stuff?

I feel like he was fearless. He had no limits, and he did what he wanted. He was true to himself. How many artists can truly say that? He followed his own path. So I think that was the cool part about it. A lot of artists can’t dive into that and trust it.

He trusted every last one of his steps.

What do you remember about the first time you met him?

I met him at Paisley [Park]. The first time I met him, he opened his home to me. He said, “Are you hungry? Do you want to eat?” It wasn’t like, “Get straight to it and go work and go sing.” He wanted to get to know me first. He just made me feel like I was already part of something.

And clearly, he did not have to. He was really sweet and humble. A beautiful man.

Los Straitjackets (Friday, 6 pm) Don’t let the Mexican wrestling masks prejudice you. Since the late ’80s, the Nashville fivesome has been one of the finest instrumental guitar combos in America, playing midcentury surfabilly with punky energy and playful reverence.

I remember my first rehearsals were crazy.

The beauty about him is that he was patient with me. He took a chance on me. Honest to God, he was a teacher. He had the patience to teach me the steps. I’m going from a stage in my life where I’m used to singing in smaller nightclubs to singing in these arenas, which is crazy. It was just a blessing that he was patient. Because I didn’t get it right the first time, I’ll tell you that!

As you got to know him more, what surprised you the most?

He’s funny. I’m so serious. He had a youthfulness about him. Anywhere he wanted to have a great time, we all had a great time.

Sometimes you’d catch him riding his bicycle around Paisley—he was that kind of person.

He had a freedom to him. And he had jokes for days.

Can you tell me about the day he passed away? How did you find out?

My best friend called me. I didn’t think it was real. [Long pause.] I thought it was a lie.

I got a whole bunch of texts from friends, and I couldn’t understand it. I was at home, and it didn’t hit me until honestly a week and a half later. I don’t think people understand the magnitude of his energy. As days have gone by, and people who were part of the NPG, and his family—I should say, the big Purple Family that we’d been brought into his world—we’ve been dealing with it by telling each other stories, to get each other through. We laugh, we cry. Because we know his energy is very much still there and very much around. He just had a crazy, crazy light that way. It’s unhuman-like. And you see, the world stopped. You look for signs, and those signs were everywhere. Now, I think I’m starting to be OK and get through it.

What was your last conversation or interaction with him?

The last time I was with him was New Year’s Eve, and that was beautiful. It was beautiful to spend time with him and just see his face.

A couple weeks before he passed, he sent me music to listen to, new artists, like he always does.

Were you aware that he’d been struggling with addiction?

Absolutely not. It’s always been about music. It will always be about the music with him.

You’re calling this upcoming Blues Festival show “What Prince Taught Us.” What are the biggest lessons you took from him?

It’s so easy to say [it was] about being fearless, but that’s what I’m trying to do—to follow who I am as an artist and not second-guess it, and put your best foot forward. Be authentic and compassionate with the people and give back.

Show love and show respect for the ones who came before us musically. And try to push the limits if you can.

In what ways did knowing Prince change you?

My eyes are open now. He made me aware of life more. He made me aware of my surroundings in the universe more. He just opened me up to have a different understanding, and see life through a different perspective. He taught me to look beyond and not stay on the surface.

Peel back the layers sometimes. You might not like what you find, but you might be able to change it.

SEE IT: Liv Warfield and the Special Hornz play the Waterfront Blues Festival at Tom McCall Waterfront Park, Naito Parkway between Southwest Harrison and Northwest Glisan streets, on Sunday, July 3. 9 pm. $10 single-day ticket, $40 weekend pass. See waterfrontbluesfest. com for schedule. All ages.

Femi Kuti & the Positive Force (Friday, 7:45 pm)

When Nigerian Afrobeat pioneer Fela Kuti died in 1997, it was left to his many, many, many children to continue spreading his message and music across the globe.

But his eldest son, Femi, is not content to simply carry the family torch. Updating his father’s saxophone-drenched polyrhythms and political radicalism with touches of modern hip-hop, electronica and other African dance styles, he’s not only keeping Afrobeat alive but helping it evolve.

Maceo Parker (Saturday, 7 pm) The 73-year-old sax giant possesses perhaps the most welltraveled instrument in R&B, beginning his career alongside James Brown and going on to wail with everyone from Parliament-Funkadelic to Prince (and, uh, Dave Matthews Band).

Dr. John & the Nite Trippers (Sunday, 6:45 pm)

In the late 1960s, the former session musician, born Mac Rebennack, reinvented himself as a high-priest of New Orleans bayou funk with the spooky, uncategorizable GrisGris—an album that sounds like a field recording of a voodoo ceremony presided over by Wolfman Jack—and has since become a widely recognized ambassador for the blues and R&B traditions of his hometown.

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MUSIC = WW Pick. Highly recommended.

Prices listed are sometimes for advance ticket sales. At-the-door increases and so-called convenience charges may apply. Event lineups are subject to change after WW’s press deadlines.

Editor: MATTHEW SINGER. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, go to wweek.com/submitevents and follow submission directions.

All shows should be submitted two weeks or more in advance of event.

Press kits, CDs and especially vinyl can be sent to Music Desk, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Please include show or release date information with all physical mailings. Email: msinger@wweek.com.

Fax: 243-1115.

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 29 Radkey

[GOTHIC PUNK POP] Radkey makes punchy, catchy punk with theatrical vocals, giving them a bit of a Green Day vibe, but good for him— because you know there’s still a bit of your middle-school self left harboring a deep affection for Green Day. And even if there isn’t, there’s still plenty to appreciate about Radkey: mucho rhythm changes that are almost always in the upward direction, melodies that get under your skin, and just a general notion of relentlessness. SHANNON GORMLEY. Bunk Bar, 1028 SE Water Ave. 9:30 pm. $8. 21+.

THURSDAY, JUNE 30 Ancient Heat, Fog Father

[DEATH DISCO] Disco is dead, and now, so is Portland’s premier disco band. Ten-piece mutant-dance ensemble Ancient Heat is calling it quits, but not without one final party.

If you sweat hard enough, no one will notice your tears. Bunk Bar, 1028 SE Water Ave. 9:30 pm. $8. 21+.

Freeform Portland presents Tig Bitty, Bobbi Wasabi, Opals

[DANCE MANIA] From humble beginnings as a crowdfunded community radio station, Freeform Portland has quickly grown as a home for under-the-radar DJs to hone their craft and broadcast their

CONT. on page 31

RENÉE LOPEZ

ROUNDUP

MC MEANS MOVE THE CROWD: Mic Capes performing at the Thesis.

Save the Dates A ROUNDUP OF MONTHLY LOCAL HIP-HOP NIGHTS.

BY M AT T H E W S I N G E R

msinger@wweek.com

Live hip-hop is a rare thing in Portland.

As many strides as rap has made in terms of pushing into the music scene at large, the major tastemaking venues in town—Doug Fir Lounge, Mississippi Studios, Rontoms—still aren’t booking local hip-hop as often as they could or should.

There is, however, a proliferation of monthly hip-hop nights growing at smaller clubs across town that have become must-attend events for anyone hoping to sample the freshest beats and rhymes coming out of the city. With another one, Mic Check, starting at White Eagle Saloon this week, here are the regular gatherings you must put in your calendar.

The Thesis

When and where: Every first Thursday at Kelly’s Olympian.

The gist: In a year and a half, the Thesis has established itself as the Rontoms Sunday Sessions of local hip-hop, showcasing the bleeding edge of Portland rap and routinely packing the century-old downtown bar—which isn’t totally surprising, considering the involvement of the We Out Here blog, the prime resource for new bangers from the Pacific Northwest.

Next installment: July 7 with Stewart Villain, Nate G, Venture, Only One.

Thirsty City

When and where: Every month at the Know.

The gist: Interrupting the Know’s nightly onslaught of punk and metal, Thirsty City launched two years ago under the curation of producer Northern Draw with a focus on global beat culture and the more outre ends of Portland hip-hop, such as the tripped-out stream-ofconsciousness of Grape God and the psychedelic astral-travelers of Renaissance Coalition.

Next installment: July 27, celebrating the release of MUC2PDX, a beat compilation featuring contributions from producers living in Portland and Munich.

Hungry Hungry Hip-Hop

When and where: Every last Sunday at Mississippi Pizza.

The gist: For a long time, the only place you could catch live rap in Portland with any regularity was the backroom of a pizza parlor. Five years in, Hungry Hungry Hip-Hop continues to incubate the potential future, providing a crucial stage for newbie MCs to cut their teeth as performers with either an official set or as part of the open freestyle sessions that conclude each night.

Next installment: To be announced.

Mic Check

When and where: Every last Thursday at White Eagle Saloon.

The gist: A collaboration between veteran rap boosters DJ Klyph and Idris “StarChile” Oferrall, Mic Check aims to showcase emerging talent while also honoring those who were grinding during the lean years, back when it was almost impossible to imagine a McMenamins-owned hippie-folk den opening its doors to hip-hop.

Next installment: June 30 with Mic Crenshaw, Mic Capes, Jon Belz and Trox.

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Willamette Week JUNE 29, 2016 wweek.com

MUSIC PROFILE JoSEPH LLAnES

tastemaking skills on the air. In under a year in existence, 90.3 KFFP-FM has become more than just a sister station to XRAY—despite being located literally across the street, in north Portland—by providing an outsider ear to its programming and, more recently, its promotional events. tonight’s show is no exception, going bold by hosting the Salt-n-Pepalike female hip-hop duo tig Bitty for this high-energy showcase at High Water Mark. Portland-via-chicago producer and Freeform DJ Bobby Wasabi rounds out the grassroots vibe of the evening, with a jackin’ live set for an unhinged take on hardware house. WYAtt ScHAFFnER. High Water Mark Lounge, 6800 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd. 9 pm. $5-$10 sliding scale. 21+.

Birger Olsen, Denver, Kele Goodwin

[LoW coUntRY] If you’ve heard Denver, one of Portland’s premier country outfits, you’ve heard Birger olsen. His low, slow-rolling delivery peppers the group’s two records, adding a subtle sense of humor and much-needed poignancy to a classic American sound. His bluesy solo debut, The Lights Just Buzz, offers much of the same, and pairs his steely harmonica with bouts of trumpet and a three-finger roll that could have been lifted directly from Ry cooder. there’s a more humble quality to olsen’s backporch balladry and breezy sentiments, however, which makes his astute observations that much more endearing on the stage. BRAnDon WIDDER. Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave. 9 pm. $5. 21+.

FRIDAY, JULY 1 Malachi Graham, Laura Curtis and Jack Martin, Nathan Earle

[no-FRILLS AMERIcAnA] Malachi Graham knows how to tell a good story, and her 2015 debut, Selfish, is full of them. the EP shares tales of female antiheroes through bare-bones roots music that puts Graham’s vocals front and center.

Her matriarchal roots extend all the way back to the oregon trail, so such stories are practically part of her genetic makeup. Plus, her voice is just plain awesome. If you could sing like Malachi Graham, you’d want to start an Americana band, too. SHAnnon GoRMLEY. The Secret Society, 116 NE Russell St. 9 pm. $8. 21+.

SATURDAY, JULY 2 The Slants, Goldfoot, Kirby Krackle

[DAncE RocK] Asian-American dance-rock outfit the Slants has been making headlines lately due to a protracted legal battle over the use of its name. Late last year, the federal court of Appeals allowed the Portland group to trademark its contentious name, an increasingly rare victory for First Amendment rights. Musically, the band’s jumpy, in-your-face synth-pop sound is the perfect way to celebrate. And now that Simon tam and company are out of the courtroom, expect a lot more feel-good music in the near future. MARK StocK. Dante’s, 350 W Burnside St. 9 pm. $8. 21+.

King Black Acid, Fanno Creek, Johanna Warren

[SPAcE-oUt KInGS] Admittedly, King Black Acid got me into Portland music in my younger years. Frontman Daniel Riddle’s work with the Womb Star orchestra was delightfully weird: equal parts psychedelia and spacedout atmospheric wandering. Songs clocked in at 20 minutes without ever boring the listener. Riddle’s newest work sheds the ever-present grungy edge for sparkly ambience that’s far from giddy, but a little less dark and out there than its formative stuff. MARK StocK. Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside St. 9 pm. $10 advance, $15 day of show. 21+.

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Esmé Patterson WEDNESDAY, JUNE 29 On the cover of her third solo album, We Were Wild, Esmé Patterson stares out against a bright-yellow background, head tilted and lips parted. She’s wearing a collar and leash held by someone out of frame, and appears to be naked.

“I got so much shit about it,” Patterson says. “The people that are upset about it don’t realize the prejudice that they’re bringing to the table. The only way that would possibly be offensive is if someone else put me in that position, and by being offended by [the cover], they’ve removed my agency.”

In a way, it’s fitting that the bold cover received such a reaction. The music on the subtly rambunctious We Were Wild finds the Portland-based artist—formerly of Colorado indie-folk band Paper Bird—at her most direct and candid, showcasing her deep roots in the canon of American songwriting while forging her own modern path through the pop world.

It’s also not the first time Patterson’s work has been misunderstood. On her previous album, 2014’s Woman to Woman, she wrote lyrics from the perspective of fictional women in songs by men, including Elvis Costello’s Alison and Townes Van Zandt’s Loretta. Though the project was an open-ended experiment, Patterson says overeager critics now look for a feminist angle in all her work. Patterson proudly identifies as a feminist, but says her primary purpose for making music is personal.

“I happen to be a woman talking about my life,” she says.

“That doesn’t make it feminist. If a man’s talking about his life when writing a record, no one’s going to say, ‘Oh, this is a very masculine record.’ They’d just be like, ‘Oh, it’s a record.’”

The interval between her last two albums was one of trial and change for Patterson. On We Were Wild, she is speaking from her own perspective again. Part of breaking out of the bindings of a character meant not confining herself to roots music, the genre she is most associated with. We Were Wild is equally rowdy and delicate, with Patterson exploring the feminine and grisly sides of her voice. She powers through bopping rock ’n’ roll, gentle pop and slide-guitar country with graceful ease. On the swaggering “Francine,” Patterson essentially inverts the concept of Woman to Woman. “It actually is a song about objectifying a woman,” Patterson says with a laugh. “Which I don’t think is a bad thing, as long as you leave room for someone to be more than that object.”

Talking to Patterson, it’s not hard to see how she might feel constrained by the “feminist songwriter” label. But it’s not hard to see why she inspires pride in her listeners, either. Music history is overpopulated with literal and figurative male voices, so it means something to have more feminine voices staking out territory in the American songwriting tradition who aren’t afraid to speak up— even if the person she’s speaking for is, first and foremost, herself.

“You know when you’re on an airplane and they’re giving you the safety speech and they always say, like, ‘Put your own oxygen mask on before helping someone else’? That’s why I make art,” she says. “I’m kind of putting my own oxygen mask on and hoping that after that point, I can help someone else.” SHANNON GORMLEY. Before she can help the world, Esmé Patterson must first help herself.

SEE IT: Esmé Patterson plays Mississippi Studios, 3939 n Mississippi Ave., with Frankie Lee and oscar Fang and the Gang, on Wednesday, June 29. 9 pm. $12 advance, $14 day of show. 21+.

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Willamette Week JUNE 29, 2016 wweek.com

MUSIC

DATES HERE

ALBUM REVIEWS

Case/Lang/Veirs

CASE/LANG/VEIRS (Anti-) [SONGWRITING SISTERHOOD] The new, self-titled project by Case/Lang/Veirs—the esteemed Neko, K.D. and Laura, respectively—feels most like a Veirs solo joint with marquee guests. Veirs’ husband, Tucker Martine, co-produces, and the writing credits show she alone has a hand in every track. Yet the collective, convened at Lang’s prompting, could be seen as an elaborate delivery system of new Lang music to nominally younger, hipper listeners. Despite the trio’s stylistic departures, in her showcases, Lang is in familiar chanteuse mode. “Blue Fires”—literally a torch song—and two other ballads probe similar mysteries: “Why do blue fires burn in me, yet not in you?” “How can you stand right there and be a thousand miles away?”

“How can a love so pure and true have me falling through the ropes?” Rare misstep “Song for Judee” is Veirs’ latest tribute to musical foremothers, in this case doomed folkie Judee Sill, following earlier nods to Carol Kaye and Alice Coltrane. Like those predecessors, its lyrics seem merely an earnest writing exercise—biographical bullet points with a beat. “Greens of June,” though, makes an evocative companion to her July Flame’s visionary title track, while the luminous “Best Kept Secret” would own the airwaves of a better world. Case, for her part, seems to have filed down her flinty edge somewhat to play well with others, to fine result. For all three artists, this bold alliance feels like a career highlight. JEFF ROSENBERG. SEE IT: Case/Lang/Veirs plays the Oregon Zoo, 4001 SW Canyon Road, with Andy Shauf, on Saturday, July 2. 7 pm. $43.50-$73.50. Download code for new album included with each ticket. All ages.

Muscle and Marrow LOVE (The Flenser)

[MOOD METAL] If you want to get a sense of what you’re in for with Muscle and Marrow’s sophomore album, Love, start with the song titles. The album kicks off with “My Fear,” which builds a wall of chanting, thundering drums and looping synths worthy of Blade Runner’s end credits.

From there, things only get more apocalyptic. There’s the desolate “Womb,” the growling “The Drooling Mouth,” the eerily gorgeous “Bereft Body.” Though the album could soundtrack a voyage through the Mines of Moria, its subject matter is deeply human and relatable. Love deals with the loss of frontwoman Kira Clark’s grandmother, who suffered from Alzheimer’s, and is inspired by Courtney Love, whom Clark became fascinated with while she and drummer Keith McGraw worked on the album. You can hear those emotional polarities in the form of quiet, strange digital sounds humming under the tsunami of drums and guitar, and Clark’s vocals have undoubtedly been influenced by Love—she lets loose from her virtuosic control now and again, allowing her thoroughly metal vocals to get raspy. Love is an epic album that finds the duo heightening and expanding its sound, in terms of both the instrumentation and emotions they explore. SHANNON GORMLEY. SEE IT: Muscle and Marrow plays Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside St., with Marissa Nadler and Wrekmeister Harmonies, on Tuesday, July 5. 9 pm. $12. 21+.

Mattress

LOOKING FOR MY PEOPLE (Glacial Pace) [LOUNGE LIZARDRY] Since 2008-ish, Rex Marshall has been slumped over in the darkest corners of Portland, not so much stalking its seedy underbelly as just sort of drunkenly leaning into it. He treats his sonic alias, Mattress, literally—though more like a soiled Tempur-Pedic discarded in the alley of some dystopian metropolis than anything on which anyone could sleep soundly. Which is to say, Marshall’s music has always alloyed lo-fi grit with electro-engineered precision and a crooner’s confidence.

But on latest release Looking For My People, the singer sounds more unhinged than ever. “Fuck the Future” lathers Coil’s Horse Rotorvator with turpentine, somehow making industrial pop sound even more industrial, while album highlight “How Many Tears?” manages to make the idea of Nick Cave fronting This Heat seem genius. Not all of it is ’80s goth detritus, though: The titular mantra of “Shake” slows a Death Grips-esque screech 1,000 percent, and the album’s title track briefly switches souls with David Bowie’s Blackstar swan song. Woozy, desperate, hobbled and hilarious, Looking For My People is the endlessly listenable soundtrack to an apocalypse experienced atop a leopard-print bar stool in the oldest dive bar in Vegas. It’s not quite real, but it’s absolute magic. DOM SINACOLA. SEE IT: Mattress plays Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., with Coronation and Dommengang, on Friday, July 1. 9 pm. $5. 21+.

Willamette Week JUNE 29, 2016 wweek.com

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Willamette Week JUNE 29, 2016 wweek.com

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FOREST SPIRIT: Marissa Nadler plays Doug Fir Lounge on Tuesday, July 5.

SUNDAY, JULY 3 Sun Angle, Ice Queens, Ghost Frog

[SPAZZ JAZZ] Sun Angle is back, which means summer is officially here. This power trio, consisting of minor-celebrity radio shock jocks Charlie Salas-Humara and Marius Libman, returns to the stage after an extended absence, a sabbatical of sorts for prodigal drummer of all trades, Papi Fimbres. After shooting toward the top of WW’s Best New Band poll in 2013 on the strength of its debut album, Diamond Junk, Sun Angle’s hyperactive fusion of math rock and tropical beats is retrofitted to take Portland by storm in 2016. Evoking SST Records touchstones by way of Sun Ra’s Arkestra, with methed-out Pat Metheny riffs thrown in for good measure, Sun Angle is the rare psych band that can make an audience move. WYATT SCHAFFNER. Rontoms, 600 E Burnside St. 8 pm. Free. 21+.

TUESDAY, JULY 5 Marissa Nadler, Muscle and Marrow, Wrekmeister Harmonies

[FRIGHTENED FOLK] Marissa Nadler creates that stirring, wispy kind of folk that burrows deep into your psyche and just won’t leave.

The East Coast singer-songwriter followed her outstanding 2014 release, July, with an equally stunning effort this year in Strangers.

Nadler’s quiet, mostly acoustic backdrops set the table perfectly for her haunting vocals. Her chilling, signature sound resides somewhere between dark Americana and gothic folk—quiet, potent and visceral, all at once. MARK STOCK. Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside St. 9 pm. $12. 21+.

Red Bull Sound Select: Health, Phantoms, Eastghost

[CRYSTAL BOUNCY CASTLES] Considering Health has already held a Six Flags promotion, scored PS3 shoot-’em-up Max Payne 3 and launched its most recent album with single “New Coke,” there’s a certain inevitability about the electro noise-rockers’ involvement with Red Bull Sound Select, the monthly showcases curated by local tastemakers (Abstract Earth Project, this evening) offering $3 tickets for fans garnering timely RSVPs from the energy drink’s website. The Los Angeles trio’s emptily surging, sweetened toxicity seems all too apropos. If a wistful approachability steeps through the synth fusillades of 2015’s Death Magic, the aggro-by-numbers blare shan’t give anyone wings. JAY HORTON. Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave. 9 pm. $3 with RSVP at redbullsoundselect.com, $12 day of show. 21+.

CLASSICAL, JAZZ & WORLD Chamber Music Northwest Summer Festival: Percussion & Piano [PALATABLE PERCUSSION] The world of modern classical music

can be as daunting to the layman as it is mysterious to the critic, but percussionist and composer Andy Akiho applies his complicated and dissonant melodies to the friendliest of instruments: the steel drum.

It’s a relatively simple change in timbre that turns his tunes from dark clouds of sound into leaves on the musical wind, where marimba, piano and more join his Caribbean instrument in a series of musical moments that are both inviting and thought-provoking. In addition to performing originals from his “Synesthesia Suite” and a timewarping duet with fellow percussionist Ian Rosenbaum called “21,” a piano trio will join the percussionists, contributing the rhythmic melodies of Schubert’s Piano Trio in B-flat Major to complement them. PARKER HALL. Alberta Rose Theatre, 3000 NE Alberta St. 8 pm Wednesday, June 29. $30, $10 ages 10-25. Under 21 permitted with legal guardian.

Marcin Wasilewski Trio

[POLISH JAZZ] Polish jazz is no joke, as anyone who’s heard Tomasz Stanko’s Portland performances can attest. Major contributors to Stanko’s spacious sound—pianist Marcin Wasilewski, bassist Slawomir Kurkiewicz and drummer Michal Miskiewicz—backed Stanko for 15 years and have played as a trio for more than two decades. Their cohesiveness shows in recent albums that earned major awards not just in their native Poland but in Europe and the U.S. One of Europe’s finest jazz ensembles, they’ve worked with labelmates on ECM Records by the likes of Jan Garbarek, Manu Katche and Dino Saluzzi, as well as American jazz masters such as Joe Lovano. Their most recent album, Spark of Life, offers leisurely, atmospheric originals as well as covers of film-score tunes, the Police and Herbie Hancock. Fans of ECM’s signature lyrical, nocturnal vibe should take one of the summer’s best jazz shows seriously. BRETT CAMPBELL. Polish Hall, 3832 N Interstate Ave. 7:30 pm Thursday, June 30. $25.

All ages.

Caili O’Doherty Group

[PIANO FUTURE] Even after they’ve started paying New York’s sky-high rents and performing with some of the biggest names in jazz, Portland’s young jazz expats, like pianist Caili O’Doherty, make their way home often enough that local fans can track their progress. A forward-leaning bandleader whose complex solos are as creatively tangential as they are melodic, O’Doherty brings her New York trio back in front of the soon-relocating red velvet at Jimmy Mak’s for a Friday evening slot. Performing the many-layered songs from her latest release, Padme, the young musicians will impress older generations with their immense technical facility over advanced compositions, showcasing skills worthy of their adopted home. PARKER HALL. Jimmy Mak’s, 221 NW 10th Ave. 8 pm Friday, July 1. $10. Under 21 permitted until 9:30 pm.

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KYLE CRAFT THURSDAY, JUNE 30TH AT 6PM

Kyle Craft grew up in a tiny Louisiana town on the banks of the Mississippi, where he spent most of his time catching alligators and rattlesnakes instead of playing football or picking up the guitar. It was only a chance trip to K-Mart that gave him his first album, a David Bowie hits compilation that helped inspire him eventually to channel his innate feral energy into songwriting and rock and roll.

ESME PATTERSON FRIDAY, JULY 1ST AT 6PM

Sometimes you have to turn off your brain and let your body sing. That’s what Esme Patterson did on her third full-length, ‘We Were Wild’. “At its core, rock ‘n’ roll is where madness and order collide. Where our sexual, raw, animal nature meets our heart and mind. On this album I explored deeper, more far out sonic spaces. I hunted the vibe through vast wilderness,” says the Portland-based songwriter.

THOSE PRETTY WRONGS FRIDAY, JULY 8TH AT 6PM

Those Pretty Wrongs are Jody Stephens and Luther Russell, two old friends and veterans of the music scene in different ways. Jody was the drummer for the legendary band Big Star and now helps run equally legendary Ardent Studios in Memphis. Luther Russell was the leader of seminal roots-rock band The Freewheelers and is now an acclaimed solo artist and producer.

For more Music listings, visit Willamette Week JUNE 29, 2016 wweek.com

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Willamette Week JUNE 29, 2016 wweek.com

MUSIC CALENDAR WED. JUNE 29 Alberta Rose

3000 NE Alberta St Chamber Music Northwest Summer Festival: Percussion & Piano

Bunk Bar

1028 SE Water Ave. Radkey

The Rick Biordi Band/ Thunder Brothers, Mel Brown B3 Organ Group

Kelly’s Olympian

426 SW Washington St. Spirit Host, Soggy Creep, Sex Park

LaurelThirst Public House

High Water Mark Lounge

LaurelThirst Public House

Jimmy Mak’s

221 NW 10th Ave. Mel Brown Quartet, The Christopher Brown Quartet

2958 NE Glisan St Lewi Longmire & the Left Coast Roasters

Mississippi Pizza

3552 N Mississippi Ave Mo Phillips: for kids

Mississippi Studios

Kelly’s Olympian

3939 N Mississippi Ave. Birger Olsen, Denver, Kele Goodwin

LaurelThirst Public House

523 SE Morrison St Mordecai, Echo People, Woollen

426 SW Washington St. Finally North

2958 NE Glisan St Tumbledown, Lynn Conover & Gravel

Mississippi Studios

3939 N Mississippi Ave. Esmé Patterson, Frankie Lee, Oscar Fang and the Gang

Panic Room

3100 NE Sandy Blvd Mobile Deathcamp (members of GWAR), Latter Day Skanks, Headless Pez

The Analog Cafe

720 SE Hawthorne Blvd.

Kingston 10, Dub Wise

The Goodfoot

2845 SE Stark St Shafty

The Know

2026 NE Alberta St Kowabunga! Kid, Low Culture, Brave Hands

The Liquor Store

Mother Foucault’s

Polish Hall

3832 N Interstate Ave. Marcin Wasilewski Trio

The Goodfoot

2845 SE Stark St Lesser Bangs

The Secret Society

116 NE Russell St Thursday Swing! Featuring The Jenny Finn Orchestra, 12th Avenue Hot Club

Valentines

232 SW Ankeny St Husky Boys with warpfire, Fire Nuns, Robot Boy

White Eagle Saloon

836 N Russell St Mic Check, featuring Mic Crenshaw and more; The Last Draw

FRI. JULy 1 Bossanova Ballroom

3341 SE Belmont St, Brass Bed with Liquid Light and Sinless

722 E Burnside St. NW Freedom Fest

Valentines

350 West Burnside Foreign Talks with Kid Indigo, AstralOG, 9th Chakra

232 SW Ankeny St Butterfyl with Aaron Liu

White Eagle Saloon 836 N Russell St Mick Overman & The Rhythm Twins

THURS. JUNE 30 Ash Street Saloon 225 SW Ash St Fasala

Bunk Bar

1028 SE Water Ave. Ancient Heat, Fog Father

Dante’s

350 West Burnside Electric Six

Doug Fir Lounge 830 E Burnside St. Quiet Type

Duff’s Garage

2530 NE 82nd Ave The Morning Lorries

High Water Mark Lounge

6800 NE MLK Ave Freeform Portland presents Tig Bitty, Bobbi Wasabi, Opals

Jimmy Mak’s

221 NW 10th Ave. The Rick Biordi Band, Michael Quinby and Thunder Brothers

Jimmy Mak’s

221 NW 10th Ave.

LAST WEEK LIVE

3203 SE Woodstock Blvd.

Oregon Bach Festival

2958 NE Glisan St The Ridgerunners: Lynn Conover, Dan Haley, Joe Baker & Tim Acott

6800 NE MLK Ave Alaric, Adrian H and the Wounds, Die Robot, Vibrissae

[JUNE 29-JULY 5]

Kaul Auditorium (at Reed College)

Doug Fir Lounge

830 E Burnside St. Cat Hoch, Bitch’n, Moon Tiger

For more listings, check out wweek.com.

E M I LY j O A N g R E E N E

= WW Pick.

Highly recommended.

Editor: Matthew Singer. TO HAVE YOUR EVENT LISTED, send show information at least two weeks in advance on the web at wweek.com/ submitevents. Press kits, CDs and especially vinyl can be sent to Music Desk, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Please include show or release date information with all physical mailings.

Email: music@wweek.com.

Dante’s

Doug Fir Lounge 830 E Burnside St. Ladyhawke

Duff’s Garage

2530 NE 82nd Ave ThunderFunk

Edgefield

2126 SW Halsey St Troutdale OR 97060 Diana Ross

High Water Mark Lounge

6800 NE MLK Ave The Sweatpants, Taste Buds, Team Francis, Dim Wit

Jimmy Mak’s

221 NW 10th Ave. Caili O’Doherty Group

Kelly’s Olympian

426 SW Washington St. Hosannas, Lungs and Limbs, Eldren, Darkswoon

LaurelThirst Public House 2958 NE Glisan St The Colin Trio

LaurelThirst Public House 2958 NE Glisan St The Mondegreens

Mississippi Pizza

3552 N Mississippi Ave Scratchdog Stringband, Rachael Miles; Poor Deers Trio

THE SOUND OF SILENCE: Benjamin Clementine is a commanding presence, and not simply because of his sharp cheekbones and 6-foot-4 height. The 27-year-old British pianist took the dimly lit stage at Wonder Ballroom on June 24 wearing a pair of dark slacks, a slender trench and little else. A heavy silence filled the room as he stepped onstage, and was cut throughout the performance only by the sound of bartenders serving overpriced drinks, the occasional jangle of keys and my own scribbling. On his debut full-length, At Least for Now, Clementine outfits his beautiful, brooding songs with a plethora of orchestrated strings, drums and subtle textures that whirl around his gifted piano playing. At the Wonder, however, he had no accompaniment, Mississippi Studios

3939 N Mississippi Ave. Mattress, Coronation, Dommengang

Plew’s Brews

8409 N Lombard St, Dorado

The Analog Cafe

720 SE Hawthorne Blvd.

Of Course Not, Two Moons; School of Rock Concert Series

The Firkin Tavern

1937 SE 11th Ave Toads, Holographs, Bitter Buddha

The Secret Society

116 NE Russell St Well Swung; Malachi Graham, Laura Curtis and Jack Martin, Nathan Earle

Tom McCall Waterfront Park

Naito Parkway between SW Harrison and NW Glisan streets Waterfront Blues Festival featuring Dr. John and the Nite Trippers, Femi Kuti, Liv Warfield, Maceo Parker and more

Twilight Cafe and Bar

1420 SE Powell The Bloodtypes, Static and the Cubes, Schadenfreuders, Stalins of Sound

Valentines

232 SW Ankeny St POLYGL hMOURY with Alien Vomit, Chunky Steez

SAT. JULy 2 Alberta Rose

3000 NE Alberta St

Rock ‘n’ Roll Camp for Girls Presents Summer Camp Session 1 Showcase; Beloved Presents: Fanna Fi Allah - Sufi Qawwali in the lineage of Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan

Bossanova Ballroom

722 E Burnside St. NW Freedom Fest: FireHouse, SteelHeart, Ed To Shred & Poisn’Us

Clinton Street Theater

Mississippi Studios

3939 N Mississippi Ave. Thanks, Moon By You, Rugby

Moda Center

1 N Center Court St Boston, Dennis DeYoung

Oregon Zoo

4001 SW Canyon Rd. Case/Lang/Veirs, Andy Shauf

2522 SE Clinton St Eric Herman and the Thunder Puppies

Roseland Theater

Dante’s

The Analog Cafe

350 West Burnside The Slants, Goldfoot, Kirby Krackle

Doug Fir Lounge

830 E Burnside St. King Black Acid, Fanno Creek, Johanna Warren

Duff’s Garage

2530 NE 82nd Ave BridgeTown Sextet

High Water Mark Lounge 6800 NE MLK Ave Nightfell / Taurus

Kaul Auditorium (at Reed College)

3203 SE Woodstock Blvd.

Oregon Bach Festival

LaurelThirst Public House 2958 NE Glisan St Baby Gramps

LaurelThirst Public House

2958 NE Glisan St Amanda Richards & the Good Long Whiles

LaurelThirst Public House 2958 NE Glisan St Jawbone Flats

8 NW 6th Ave Jacquees

720 SE Hawthorne Blvd.

When We Met

The Firkin Tavern

1937 SE 11th Ave Sleeptalker, The Gibbs

The Know

2026 NE Alberta St C/Average, Quayde LaHüe, Pushy

The Lovecraft Bar 421 SE Grand Ave Joel Grind

The O’Neil Public House 6000 NE Glisan St. Radio Gumbo

The Secret Society

116 NE Russell St Pink Lady Presents The Cat’s Meow

The Secret Society 116 NE Russell St The Libertine Belles

Tom McCall Waterfront Park

Naito Parkway between SW Harrison and NW Glisan streets

meaning his restless fingers and voice took center stage. This allowed him to stretch songs such as “Condolence” and “Adios” further than expected, as his hands pirouetted from side to side in rhythmic fashion. Clementine’s staggering tenor and mannerisms are often likened to Nina Simone’s, and it’s easy to see why.

His booming voice resonates with a raw sense of sorrow, ecstasy and overall emotion. Even the lone cover he tackled—a hypnotic rendition of Nick Drake’s 1969 ode to depression,“River Man”— felt uniquely his. “Anyway, like I said, it’s good to be here,” he noted again toward the end of his 90-minute performance. “I’m trying to converse. Can’t. Awkward. I’ll just keep playing.” And so he did. BRANDON WIDDER. Waterfront Blues Festival featuring Dr. John and the Nite Trippers, Femi Kuti, Liv Warfield, Maceo Parker and more

SUN. JULy 3 Corkscrew

1665 SE Bybee Blvd Jet Black Pearl

Dante’s

350 West Burnside Cloud City Circus

Kelly’s Olympian

426 SW Washington St. KPSU presents: Lovejoy, Sap Laughter, mr. wrong

LaurelThirst Public House

2958 NE Glisan St Open Mic hosted by Taylor Kingman; Freak Mountain Ramblers; Doc Slocum’s Old Time Jam

Mississippi Pizza

3552 N Mississippi Ave Wicky Pickers

Oregon Zoo

4001 SW Canyon Rd. An Evening with Lyle Lovett & His Large Band

Rontoms

600 E Burnside St Sun Angle, Ice Queens, Ghost Frog

Star Theater

13 NW 6th Ave. Die Robot, The Secret Light

The Embers Avenue

100 NW Broadway Rocky Rhodes Karaoke

The Know

2026 NE Alberta St Fury Things, Blowout , U SCO

Tom McCall Waterfront Park

Naito Parkway between SW Harrison and NW Glisan streets Waterfront Blues Festival featuring Dr. John and the Nite Trippers, Femi Kuti, Liv Warfield, Maceo Parker and more

White Eagle Saloon 836 N Russell St Andy Goessling (of Railroad Earth)

MON. JULy 4 Dante’s

350 West Burnside Karaoke From Hell

Jimmy Mak’s

221 NW 10th Ave. Dan Balmer Trio

Mississippi Pizza

3552 N Mississippi Ave Mr. Ben

Tom McCall Waterfront Park

Naito Parkway between SW Harrison and NW Glisan streets Waterfront Blues Festival featuring Dr. John and the Nite Trippers, Femi Kuti, Liv Warfield, Maceo Parker and more

TUES. JULy 5 Alberta Street Pub

1036 NE Alberta St The Pining Hearts, Josh Hoyer & Soul Colossal, Nathan Earle

Doug Fir Lounge

830 E Burnside St. Marissa Nadler, Muscle and Marrow, Wrekmeister Harmonies

Jimmy Mak’s

221 NW 10th Ave. Portland Chamber Orchestra; Jazz at Jimmy Mak’s - Dick Hyman and Ken Peplowski; Mel Brown Septet

LaurelThirst Public House

2958 NE Glisan St The Poor Deers with Tim Acott

LaurelThirst Public House

2958 NE Glisan St Lynn Conover & Gravel

Mississippi Pizza

3552 N Mississippi Ave Baby Ketten Karaoke

Pioneer Courthouse Square

701 SW Sixth Avenue Noon Tunes with John Nilsen & Swimfish

The Analog Cafe

720 SE Hawthorne Blvd.

Liar, Frontflip, Earth Groans, Vow of Volition, The Globalist; Ultra Magnetic

The Goodfoot

2845 SE Stark St Jimmy Russell’s Party City 2034

The Know

2026 NE Alberta St White Night, Dark/Light, Public Eye

Valentines

232 SW Ankeny St Boosegumps with microsoft saint, cop and speeder

White Eagle Saloon 836 N Russell St Revolution Jam with Norman Sylvester

Willamette Week JUNE 29, 2016 wweek.com

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6:30 pm - Tuesday, July 12

th

MUSIC NEEDLE EXCHANGE ERIC SELLERS

The practice of Sant Mat s based on meditation on inner Light & Sound, ethical values, service to others and love for all creation.

People’s Coop 3029 SE 21st Ave., Portland

SPIRITUALITY Sant Mat

Sant Baljit Singh

The path of inner Light and Sound

(Talk given by authorized speaker) The goal of Sant Mat is to enable the soul to return and merge into its source; the purpose of human life described by mystics of all traditions.

877-633-4828 Admission Free

findlightandsound@msn.com

www.santmat.net

WILLAMETTE WEEK’S

DJ Hold My Hand Years DJing: Five-plus. My first official gig was a back-to-back set with Little Bear at Mississippi Studios.

Genres: Deep house, house, disco, gay, vogue house, club.

Where you can catch me regularly: Bridge Club, held every first Sunday at White Owl Social Club.

Craziest gig: I DJ’d a show in Vancouver, B.C., for their Pride event, which had me playing for the artist Brent Ray Fraser. If you are unfamiliar, Brent paints pictures with his penis. He only provided a single track, so I had to improvise a set while he painted Portland drag superstar Gula Delgatto. For this occasion, Gula wore a white wedding dress, while Brent used his tool to paint a rainbow of colors on her. It was very swanky.

My go-to records: “Groove Is in the Heart” by Deee-Lite; “Percolatin’” by Brooklyn Is Burning; “Hold On” by Romanthony; “Hallelujah Anyway (Larse Vocal)” by Candi Staton, especially if local drag star Shitney Houston walks into the function.

Don’t ever ask me to play…: “Cupid Shuffle.”

NEXT GIG: DJ Hold My Hand spins at Bridge Club at White Owl Social Club, 1305 SE 8th Ave., with guests Chris Cruse and Ill Camino, on Sunday, July 3. 3 pm. $5. 21+.

WE DNESDAY, JULY 13 2 220 NW QUI MBY ST | 5 TO 9 PM OPEN TO T HE PUBLI C | ALL AG E S

FRI. JULY 1 Black Book

20 NW 3rd Ave The Cave w/ Massacooramaan

Crystal Ballroom ED BY PRESENT

PROCEE DS BEN EFIT

V ILL AG G AR DE NSE

WED. JUNE 29 Beech Street Parlor 412 NE Beech Street DJ Loraxe

Church

2600 NE Sandy Blvd.

Wu-Tang Wednesday

RSV P FOR F REE // O R PU RC H A S E $ 2 2 VI P FO OD T I C K E T V I P TIC K E T INC LU DE S 6 B B Q SAMP LES, TWO DRI NKS A ND A $ 2 D O NATIO N TO V ILL AG E G ARDENS.

VOT E FO R YO U R FAVO R I T E B B Q ! R U SS E L L ST R E E T B B Q | R E V E R E N D ' S B B Q P O D N A H ’ S P I T | A N D M O R E T BA B E E R BY B R E A K S I D E B R E W E RY // M U S I C BY X R AY. F M DJ S

RSVP OR BU Y T ICKETS: W W EEK.CO M/B O P PA RTY2016

Fifth Avenue Lounge

Euphoria Nightclub

Gold Dust Meridian

736 SE Grand Ave. Double O Soul (soul, funk, r&b) 315 SE 3rd Ave Low Steppa w/ Night City and Jake McGeorge

Ground Kontrol

511 NW Couch St. TRONix (electronica)

Holocene

1001 SE Morrison St. Rice, Beans, & Collard Greens: All Ages Pride Dance Party 1430 NE Sandy Blvd.

DJ Hot Lips

The Lovecraft Bar

421 SE Grand Ave Event Horizon w/ DJ Straylight and Miss Q (darkwave, industrial)

THURS. JUNE 30 Beech Street Parlor 412 NE Beech Street DJ Pickle Barrel

Church

2600 NE Sandy Blvd.

Emerson Lyon

Willamette Week JUNE 29, 2016 wweek.com

736 SE Grand Ave. Void (early soul, R&B) Vinyl Me! Exclusive Vinyl Re-release & Giveaway of Wells Fargo “Watch Out” (70’s psych from Zimbabwe )

Dig A Pony

Sandy Hut

38

Dig A Pony

125 NW 5th Avenue Nudisko w/ Sosa Simy & Friends

3267 SE Hawthorne Blvd.

DJ F

Holocene

1001 SE Morrison St. Twin Peaks Dance Party

Moloko

3967 N. Mississippi Ave. DJ Sappho

Plew’s Brews

8409 N Lombard St, Metal Horror Night! with Shanda Gore

Produce Row Cafe 204 SE Oak St, Supper Set (soulful tunes)

The Embers Avenue 100 NW Broadway Thursday Electronic

The Liquor Store

3341 SE Belmont St, Wake The Town w/ PRNS and Barisone (hip hop, reggae)

The Lovecraft Bar 421 SE Grand Ave Shadowplay w/ DJ Carrion (goth, industrial)

1332 W Burnside St 80s Video Dance Attack

East Burn

1800 E Burnside St. DJ Queasy

Hawthorne Eagle Lodge 3256

4904 SE Hawthorne Blvd.

In The Cooky Jar (soul, r&b)

Holocene

1001 SE Morrison St. Holy Trinity: Rihanna / Nicki / Beyonce

Moloko

3967 N. Mississippi Ave. HEW Francisco

Spare Room

4830 NE 42nd Ave The Get Down w/ DJ Dubblife & DJ Sacrilicious

Star Bar

639 SE Morrison St. Uncontrollable Urge w/ DJ Paultimore

Star Theater

13 NW 6th Ave. Friday Night HIVE (goth, industrial, darkwave)

The Embers Avenue 100 NW Broadway Friday Night 80’s & Top 40

The Goodfoot

2845 SE Stark St First Friday Superjam (funk, soul, disco, hip hop)

Where to drink this week.

M AYA S E T T O N

BAR REVIEW

1. Century

930 SE Sandy Blvd., centurybarpdx.com.

Watching a big game at Century feels like you’re ringside for a prizefight— the energy exceeds any other sports bar we’ve been to, and we’ve been to a few. And there’s a beautiful rooftop patio for cooling off after the buzzer.

2. Clyde’s Prime Rib

5474 NE Sandy Blvd., 503-281-9200, clydesprimerib.com.

Good old Clyde’s just opened a pleasant little patio out front, and while the same jazz plays, the menu has gotten sneaky upgrades like better beer and house-smoked turkey on the Cobb salad.

3. Gestalt Haus

3584 SE Division St. German bier, bikes and local brats are a pretty simple formula for a bar—and this is a pretty simple bar, which makes it a very welcome addition to its fancy Division Street neighborhood.

4. Division Wines

3564 SE Division St., 503-234-7281, divisionwines.com.

One of the finest wine shops in town—especially if your tastes run toward the natural, oddball and aperitif—Division now has a highly pleasant wine bar within to happily while away your happy hours.

5. Toffee Club

1006 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 971-254-9518, toffeeclubpdx.com.

Where else can you eat bangers and mash and down a Fuller’s while watching a backroom projection of a Euro game with a soccer ball bigger than any human head?

The Lovecraft Bar

421 SE Grand Ave DJs Ahex and Horrid Dance Party! (goth, punk, 80s)

Valentines

232 SW Ankeny St Surface Noise Vinyl Invitational Happy Hour (bring your own records)

SAT. JULY 2 Crush Bar

1400 SE Morrison Pants OFF Dance OFF: Red, White, and NUDE

Crystal Ballroom

1332 W Burnside St Come As You Are 90s Dance Flashback

East Burn

1800 E Burnside St. Magnus Cagney

Holocene

1001 SE Morrison St. Love Ball: A Benefit For Orlando Victims

Kenton Club

2025 N Kilpatrick St

GHOST DESK: Real estate booms are like high tide in a winter storm. Yes, the surge is dangerous and destructive to many, but it’s also the only time the sand on the top edge of the beach is finally cleansed of all the bottle caps, used condoms and half-burnt logs otherwise trapped forever. And so it was that Vancouver’s new Tap Union Freehouse (1300 Washington St., Vancouver, 360-726-6921 tapunionfreehouse.com) finally came to occupy a downtown space that had sat empty since the 1960s. Originally an annex of the centuryold Luepke Flowers, the two-story art deco building was built in 1936. Tap Union’s location was most recently the office of an accountant named Tilden W. Randall. Randall, the husband of Gertrude Luepke, passed away back in 1963. Randall’s desk sat untouched for 50 years—a time capsule in the middle of downtown, which had a long, slow decline that’s only now ending. Tap Union owner Chris Daniels found Randall’s license certificates in his desk drawer, and they now hang on the wall next to individual blackboards listing the contents of each tap. The tap list is rather conservative, the downstairs barroom is dominated by shiny tin tiles, and the indie-rock playlist includes the Shins and Peter Bjorn and John—the stuff that was playing a decade ago when the big, dark clouds of millennial-powered urban renewal started rolling in. The large upstairs lounge, on the other hand, is one of the most inviting spaces around, with soft lighting and leather couches. Tap Union plans to introduce a full menu with smoked meats soon. The place was dead on our visit—the crowd was at another new ’Couve beer bar, the Thirsty Sasquatch—but that’s partly to be expected when a building has been vacant so long that people stop looking at it.

MARTIN CIZMAR.

Club Nitty Gritty w/ DJ Action Slacks & DJ Hell Books (blues, funk, soul)

Moloko

3967 N. Mississippi Ave. DJ Roane

Star Bar

639 SE Morrison St. Trip City w/ DJ Drew Groove (mod, soul, garage, punk)

The Embers Avenue

100 NW Broadway Saturday Top 40 Remixed

The Goodfoot

2845 SE Stark St Get On Up: Stevie Wonder Remixed w/ Takimba & DJ Saucy

The Liquor Store

3341 SE Belmont St, WAVES featuring GO FREEK (techno, house)

The Lovecraft Bar

421 SE Grand Ave Expressway to Yr Skull w/ MISPRID (shoegaze, goth)

Death Trip w/ DJ Tobias (garage, psyche, death rock)

SUN. JULY 3 The Embers Avenue

100 NW Broadway Latino Night w/ DJ Leo (latin, cubono, salsa)

The Lovecraft Bar 421 SE Grand Ave Sad Day: ‘MERICA w/ DJ Buckmaster

White Owl Social Club

1305 SE 8th Ave East Bridge Club w/ Chris Cruse, Ill Camino, & more

MON. JULY 4 Ground Kontrol

511 NW Couch St. Reagan-o-mix (new wave, hip-hop, soundtrack)

Murder Mass (industrial, 80s, spooky)

TUES. JULY 5 Black Book

20 NW 3rd Ave Turnt Up Tuesdays w/ DJ Ronin Roc and DJ Automaton

Star Bar

639 SE Morrison St. DJ Bonecrusher

The Embers Avenue 100 NW Broadway Recycle w/ DJ Tibin (dark dance)

The Lovecraft Bar

421 SE Grand Ave Bones w/ DJ Aurora (goth, synth, dance)

Tube

18 NW 3rd Ave. Tubesdays w/ DJ Jack

Star Bar

639 SE Morrison St. Metal Monday w/ DJ Cranium

The Lovecraft Bar 421 SE Grand Ave

Willamette Week JUNE 29, 2016 wweek.com

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courTney TheIM

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DistributeD at Powell’s year rounD, PortlanD’s #1 tourist attraction!

FINDER Is coMIng!

Featuring all things great in Portland.

Finder focuses on neighborhoods, extensive business listings, people profiles and detailed maps.

The guide also features the nightlife, arts, dining and shopping that define our city.

Distributed at locations in the Portland Metro area.

Including restaurants, shops & retailers.

Publishes: AuGusT 10, 2016 Space Reservation & Materials Deadline: JULY 21 503.243.2122 • advertising@wweek.com

R E S E R V E YO U R S PA C E TO D AY !

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Willamette Week JUNE 29, 2016 wweek.com

}

COURTESY OF CAITLIN LUSHINGTON

PERFORMANCE = WW Pick. Highly recommended.

Most prices listed are for advance ticket sales. At-the-door increases and so-called convenience charges may apply, so it’s best to call ahead.

Editor: ENID SPITZ. Theater: ENID SPITZ (espitz@wweek.com).

Dance: ENID SPITZ (dance@wweek.com).

TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, submit information at least two weeks in advance to: espitz@wweek.com.

OPENINGS & PREVIEWS Black Magdalene

The Steep and Thorny Way to Heaven is turning seven. Migrate in your trip pants and eyeliner from The Lovecraft to the Thorny anniversary, where DJ Curatrix and DJ Wednesday spin otherworldly shoegaze and goth music.

Eugene’s dark wave/world band Black Magdalene is the visiting headliner.

Expect black–lots of black–at this close-knit warehouse party under the Hawthorne Bridge. The Steep and Thorny Way to Heaven, Southeast 2nd Avenue between Madison and Hawthorne. 10 pm Friday, July 1. Free.

Facebook RSVP required.

One Slight Hitch

Written by the grumpy comedian Lewis Black, who frequented The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, this farcical production is a series of unfortunate events that occur on Courtney Coleman’s wedding night. The zany farce takes place in Cincinnati in the ‘80s during a lavish wedding ceremony that is going just perfectly until, of course, the bride’s flaky ex-boyfriend shows up and her family begins to show its true colors. This is also a good chance to support local talent Jayne Stevens in her second-ever production as director at Clackamas Repertory Theatre. Osterman Theatre, 19600 Molalla Ave., 503-594-6047.

7:30 pm Thursday-Saturday and 2:30 pm Sunday, June 30-July 24. $12-$30.

Russian Roulette

Mix Wheel of Fortune, The Moth storytelling, and Truth or Dare, and you’d have Back Fence PDX’s Russian Roulette. Seven performers spin a wheel to get a prompt, which they keep or pass, and then get five minutes to make it into an act. This round stars locals—including Lez Stand Up comedian Caitlin Weyerhaeuser, the host of Heavy Metal Sewing Circle and Emmynominated drag star Sasha Scarletta— and one Seattleite, a City Council member named John Roderick. If you want a preview, videos of all the past stories are on the Back Fence PDX YouTube. Disjecta, 8371 N Interstate Ave., backfencepdx.com. 8 pm Saturday, July 2. $18. 21+.

West Side Story

Whether in Shakespearean England, racially divided New York City or Tigard, ill-fated and star-crossed lovers have always been a hit on stage. Tony and Maria struggle to find a place for their love amidst the street gangs and racial violence of 1950s New York City in this local take directed by Peggy Taphorn, a New Yorker with 22 years in the theater scene. Drammy Award-winning choreographer Jacob Toth co-directs. Deb Fennell Auditorium, 9000 SW Durham Rd, Tigard, 503-620-5262. 7:30 pm Thursday-Saturday, 2 pm SaturdaySunday, July 1-24. $30-$50.

NEW REVIEWS Reefer Madness

“This is not the Keller,” announced the Funhouse Lounge emcee on opening night. While 1936’s anti-cannabis propaganda film Reefer Madness was essentially a boring public service announcement that was only tolerable to watch while high, it seems destined to fit the decommissioned carnival vibe at Funhouse. In this musical satire of the original film, the pot-crazed characters are the

worst imaginable humans: torturing animals, groping their mothers, selling their own baby for weed. It’s all played with maximum comedic value in this enthusiastic production

by John Monteverde. Star-crossed lovers Jimmy and Mary Lane (Sean Ryan Lamb and Lydia Fleming) are drawn asunder by the devil’s lettuce.

The scene following Jimmy’s first puff is a laugh riot, the rest of the cast gyrating in grass skirts and chanting with bongo drums as he laughs maniacally in his higher state. I had prepared myself with a Cherry Kush spliff, and for those of us who opt for such a well-rounded experience, there’s no risk of acting too high. The audience gasps and hollers along. Even if you don’t consume beforehand, it’s impossible to hold in giggles when Jesus (played by Doug Dean with a stoner surfer angle) ambles on stage in a gold lamé loincloth to say, “Try taking a hit of God, Jimmy. Do you think you can handle the high?” Read the full review on page 50. LAUREN TERRY. Funhouse Lounge, 2432 SE 11th, 503-309-3723. 7 pm ThursdaySaturday, June 23-July 23. $25-$30.

ALSO PLAYING American Idiot

High energy angst? Check. Heroin withdrawals set to rock music?

Check. Eye-liner and neckties? Check.

Everything you could want from the actors is there in full force, but on opening night, the show was wrought with technical difficulties. The acoustics of the room, which used to be used as a church, were not built for power chords. Faulty mic problems throughout the show ended up with actors singing at different volume levels and loud static interrupting guitar solos. The opening was a lesson in commitment, as performers powered through the technical struggles. Regardless, the show has great potential, if they can get their mics under control. A portion of all proceeds will benefit The Center, an Orlando LGBTQ advocacy group. The Sanctuary at Sandy Plaza, 1785 NE Sandy Blvd., 503-239-5919. 7:30 pm Thursday-Saturday, through July 2. $15-$35.

The Red Ten Minute Play Festival

This iteration of the Clinton’s recurring festival features locally written, 10-minute plays, each with a unique set of writers, directors and actors and all themed after the color red.

From a serial killer fan club to a collision between Sigmund Freud and Hester Prynne to an oeno Tinder date at Laurelhurst Park, every local art piece comes in a bite-sized portion. Clinton Street Theater, 2522 SE Clinton St., 503-238-5588. 6 pm Friday-Saturday, through July 2.

Weekend at Bernie’s

Not that Bernie. This might the the longest-running summer show in Portland, but the comedic buddy tale won’t last until election night. Instead, Portland’s top improv talents stage the bumbling tale of two guys trying to convince the world that their boss is not dead. Think Office Space with 1980s Hawaiian shirts, mob bosses and super hot babes, inside Portland’s best new comedy venue. After the show, enjoy the fragrant Old Town scene outside. The Siren Theater, 315 NW Davis St. 10 pm Friday-Saturday, through July 30. $16.

CONT. on page 43

HUMANITY’S FAULT: The Skriker.

REVIEW

Skrikes Out THE SKRIKER IS A RARE MISS, AND MESS, FROM THIRD RAIL REP.

Twenty-two years ago, Caryl Churchill wrote a spell of a play that has become more potent with age. The Skriker gives form to Mother Earth’s ancient spirits, who are furious because they are dying along with Her. Humans are to blame and must be punished, but humans are also necessary to restore balance.

Third Rail Repertory Theatre’s Mentorship Company ambitiously took on the wicked wordplay and theatrical magic of this pagan-apocalyptic drama, but Churchill’s spell doesn’t hold.

We begin in the dark with a poetic prologue from the Skriker, an ancient, malevolent faerie.

Sarah Yeakel manages the monster’s monologue breathlessly as she slowly descends the center aisle, her intimidating form robed in mountainous layers of black fabric. The purple lights finally catch her tangled hair and red-rimmed eyes as the Skriker’s tirade continues onstage, where stained plastic sheets hang and a hospital bed sits empty.

The plot kicks off with teen mom Josie on the bed, in a very bad place after having murdered her own baby. This fact is overshadowed by the freakier presence of the Skriker, who is coercing her to resurrect and surrender the child. Also, there is a stoic shirtless dude with a sculpted mesh horse head hovering by Josie’s side. We can

infer from the program that he is Kelpie, a dangerous Celtic water sprite, according to a quick wiki search.

The ensemble of ambiguous, dark creatures lurk around the stage, shrieking and snarling. Their big scene is the underworld banquet party, where the script suggests a captive possessing no entrails might be humiliated. Here, it is more like a dull college party with sloppy dancers, repetitive music and strobe lights that will induce a headache.

The entire production is darkly lit, a purple gloom that lighting designer Anthony Arnista punctures with flashlights, glow lights, backlights, black lights and strobe lights. The effects are either blinding, irritating or underwhelming, as is the case with Kensie Sempert’s props. A mobile hangs in the downstage corner, casting blurry shadows from the disembodied hands, feet and head of a hag. An intriguing hound puppet makes a brief appearance, then is set down onstage to die inanimate. The hooded death figure that looks like a discount Halloween decoration leans against the balcony rail and is completely ignored.

It is a daunting play, to be sure, and in this production from Third Rail’s mentees, it’s unclear what we are meant to see moving in their shadows. JESS DRAKE. SEE IT: The Skriker is at Imago Theatre, 17 SE 8th Ave., 503-235-1101. 7:30 pm Wednesday-Friday, 2 and 7:30 pm Saturday, through July 2. $11.50.

Willamette Week JUNE 29, 2016 wweek.com

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PERFORMANCE a r n i s ta p h oto g r a p h y

FEATURE

Portland Nonprofits!

It’s time! Apply for the 2016 Give!Guide and Nominate someone for the Skidmore Prize

LIVE UNTIL JUNE 30 AT GIVEGUIDE.ORG “Give!Guide is a toolkit that allows nonprofits to have a really successful, professional year-end giving campaign.

WW does all of the heavy lifting, such as creating the website, gift processing and city-wide promotion, and PPN! just works really hard to educate people about how important our work is and encourage people to donate. G!G allows us to raise more money than we ever could on our own.”

ON SALE THURSDAY 6/30 @10AM 42

Willamette Week JUNE 29, 2016 wweek.com

—Julie Miller, former Development Director, PDX Pop Now!

“Frank”—emily June Newton

Toker’s Choice

Portland’s first weed-and-theater pairing comes unexpectedly this summer, from Northwest’s demure CoHo Theater.

The theater, located off Trendy-Third behind St. Jack, stoked controversy when it opened in 1995 in the basement of the Benson Hotel with a violent show that caused one patron to call the police. This season, itsannual Summerfest harks back to those edgier roots.

CoHo is offering audiences a discount on 1-gram pre-rolls at nearby Thurman Street Collective (2384 NW Thurman St.) to pair with each performance. Patrons who show their theater program at the collective can buy any pre-roll for $5, before or after shows, which change every week and run through July 17.

“They are full of laughter, usually a little bit rude, sometimes sexy,” says Jess Drake, CoHo’s marketing director, about the summer shows, which veer from the theater’s monthlong productions during the regular season.

In Drake’s personal experience, theater has always paired nicely with marijuana, and Summerfest usually partners with a neighborhood bar or restaurant. Drake was looking for a nice fit for the short, lighthearted spirit of Summerfest.

The performance that lit the fuse last weekend was Frank, a one-woman play with cross-dressing and cabaret from Australian comedian Emily June Newton. That set the tone for the next month of clowns, weed, drag and comedy. “With Newton, the funniest thing is seeing the transformation—because she’s this really striking, beautiful Australian woman—into this raunchy, cigar-smoking man,” Drake says.

Next up is Shaking the Tree’s twist on an erotic Shakespearean poem, Venus and Adonis, performed by familiar faces to Portland stages, Rebecca Ridenour and Matthew Kerrigan (June 30-July 3). Following that, the clown-inspired company A Little Bit Off will perform its silent play, Bella Culpa (July 6-9), and New Yorker Kelly Kinsella’s re-creation of a woman having a meltdown while ordering food in When Thoughts Attack (July 14-17).

The one-hour run times mean that audiences will leave the theater around 8:30 pm, with time left to capitalize on the partnership deal at Thurman Street Collective, which stays open until 10.

“Recreational cannabis has changed the way people are recreating in their summers,” Drake says. “But it can also feel limiting with, like, what to do with that?” From a marketing standpoint, recreational marijuana is an ideal partnership for the arts. It is an industry currently with a lot of disposable income. Thurman Street Collective, in particular, is already a supporter of local arts, featuring a gallery inside the dispensary.

As Newton told me after her opening performance of Frank, “Willamette Week is just lies. All lies.” So don’t take my word— experience Summerfest yourself. RUSSELL HAUSFELD. CoHo Theater offers pre-roll deals with Summerfest.

see it: the summerfest show Venus and Adonis is at Coho theater, 2257 nW raleigh st., 503-220-2646. 7:30 pm thursdaysunday, June 30-July 3. $20. Full schedule at cohoproductions.com.

COMEDY & VARIETY Al’s Den Comedy Night

Danny Felts brings comics, mostly local stand-up folk and Seattleites passing through, for an hour long showcase. Sometimes the best part is watching Crystal Hotel guests awkwardly sidle by the stage, wearing only a swimsuit and towel, on their way to the pool behind this basement bar. Al’s Den, 303 SW 12th Ave. 10:30 pm Fridays and Saturdays. Free. 21+.

Barry Rothbart

Like many young comedians on the come-up, Barry Rothbart began his career performing sketch and improv. Unlike many young comedians not named Jonah Hill, Barry Rothbart had a role in The Wolf of Wall Street. More UCB, less Scorcese on the whole, Rothbart has also appeared on Punk’d and The Tonight Show, and will very soon be seen on network television. Helium Comedy Club, 1510 SE 9th Ave., 888-643-8669. 8 pm Thursday, 7:30 and 10 pm FridaySaturday, June 30-July 2. $15-$28.

21+.

Boiler Room Open Mic

Touted as the longest-running open mic in the Pacific Northwest, this Mic occupies a special place in Portland’s comedy history. Also, it once hosted sets performed by then-Blazer Jared Jeffries. Hit Boiler Room on the right night, and you might see Nathan Brannon slay an empty room, plus up-andcomers like Ed Black and Thermals frontman Hutch Harris working out new material. MIKE ACKER. Boiler Room, 228 NW Davis St., 227-5441.

9 pm every Monday. Free. 21+.

Control Yourself: A Showcase Of Funny

Joann Schinderle’s weekly showcase of traveling national comedians an local up-and-comers is followed by an open mic, making it a crowd-pleaser that has won WW’s Best of Portland readers poll twice. Alberta Streeet Pub, 1036 NE Alberta St. 9 pm Mondays. Free.

Curious Comedy Open Mic

Sign up start at 7:15, and every comic gets a tight three minutes onstage in this weekly show hosted

by Andie Main. Curious Comedy Theater, 5225 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., 477-9477. 8 pm Sundays.

Free.

Earthquake Hurricane

Brodie Kelly’s weekly pizza party/ comedy showcase gives locals a tight 5 for standup, and coincides with happy hour: $2.50 pints.

Hotlips Pizza, 2211 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 234-9999. 8pm Mondays.

Free.

Helium Open Mic

Every Tuesday night, comedians and their Portland fandom flock to Helium for two hours of free comedy, with a full bar and kitchen.

Rotating hosts are pulled from the upper echelon of local comedic talent. Those with less experience get about three-minutes, then the sets get longer as the night goes on, with more well-known comics coming toward the end. Helium Comedy Club, 1510 SE 9th Ave., 888-643-8669. 8 pm Tuesdays.

Free. 21+.

Open Court

This weekly, long-form improv show combines performers from many Portland theaters and troupes.

Newbies are welcome and teams are picked at random, then coached by an improv veteran before taking the stage. Curious Comedy Theater, 5225 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., 477-9477. 7:30 pm Thursdays. $5.

Portland’s Funniest Person Contest Prelims

The opening round of Portland’s search for the best and most funny joke-telling person is coming to a close. Wednesday night will be the final of the run of prelim shows, with the winners joining the other comics who have already moved onto the contest’s semifinals. Going out with a bang, the final evening of the prelims will feature sets from Ed Black, Julia Ramos, Jacob Christopher, Todd Armstrong, Marcus Coleman, Katie Nyugen and Paul Schlesinger.

Helium Comedy Club, 1510 SE 9th Ave., 888-643-8669. 7 and 10 pm Wednesday, June 29. $10. 21+.

Sunday School

Workshop students, veteran crews and groups that pre-register online perform long form improv every Sunday. Curious Comedy Theater, 5225 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., 477-9477. 6 pm Sundays. $5 suggested donation.

WILLAMETTE WEEK’S 2016

Supernova

Brody’s students showcase their improv, sketch and standup skills— a different class each week. Brody Theater, 16 NW Broadway, 224-2227.

7:30 pm Thursdays. $5.

For more Performance listings, visit

COURTESY OF TRIANGLE PRODUCTIONS!

Some of WW’s favorite funny Portlanders showcase famous and not-so-famous, local and not-solocal comedians. Hosted by Curtis Cook, Alex Falcone, Anthony Lopez and Bri Pruett inside a bike shop with a bar. Velo Cult Bike Shop, 1969 NE 42nd Ave., 922-2012. 9 pm every Wednesday. Free, $5 suggested donation. 21+.

Extra Cheese

AMERICAN IDIOT

Pro and Home Brewer Applications live NOW! bit.ly/WWBeerProAm2016 Event: October 15 | Application Due: June 30 Willamette Week JUNE 29, 2016 wweek.com

43

DELFIN FINLEY

VISUAL ARTS = WW Pick. Highly recommended.

By JENNIFER RABIN. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, submit show information—including opening and closing dates, gallery address and phone number—at least two weeks in advance to: Visual Arts, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Email: espitz@wweek.com.

Or Fact a Formal Treatment

Album

Photographer Joe Rudko creates a series of assemblages out of photos he found in an abandoned shed. Sorting through thousands of images which were taken over 100 years, Rudko bridges the expanse of time by working with visual commonalities—water, shadows, sky—to create new compositions that speak to the universal human experience. The title of the series, Album, suggests that by culling elements from photos taken over a century by different people, in different parts of the world, one can create a photo album that includes everyone. In the hands of another person, the collage assembly might have fallen flat or have been, at best, uninspired, but Rudko’s masterful understanding of rhythm, negative space and composition makes the work moving and transcendent.

PDX Contemporary Art, 925 NW Flanders St., 503-227-5111. Through July 2.

Case Work: Studies in Form, Space & Construction

Architect Brad Cloepfil and his architecture firm Allied Works Architecture (AWA) are responsible for the Wieden + Kennedy headquarters, the redesign of new PNCA mothership, and international projects such as The National Music Centre of Canada. Portland Art Museum is showing a retrospective of their work in which a fabricated steel structure, like the skeleton of an unfinished building, houses the firm’s concept models—as aesthetically beautiful as any sculptures you have ever seen—made from wood, brass, resin, metal and concrete, to name a few. Displayed alongside the models are the corresponding material studies for each project, which give us insight into how the architects use things like resin, pinecones, wooden dowels, printed plastic, and stone to play with texture, luminosity and surface. The firm’s original sketches for each project are hung around the gallery, highlighting the importance of process and showing us how an idea can materialize into form.

Portland Art Museum, 1219 SW Park Ave., 503-226-2811. Through Sept 4.

Get Real

If you want a schooling on the difference between photorealism and hyperrealism, check out the group show at Stephanie Chefas Projects. Photorealist pieces, like Eric Wert’s large-scale graphite rendering of a cactus and Jeff Ramirez’s fullcolor painting of a hand holding a bunch of artificially dyed roses, will make you rub your eyes in disbelief. Faithful facsimile is a photorealist’s prerogative, far more important than the meaning of the object they are replicating. On the other hand, hyperrealists have a different agenda, as exemplified by Delfin Finley’s painting Dead Man Walking, a portrait featuring a man lying contorted, his head turned, face mashed into the floor. The painting is hung sideways, so the figure appears to be pressed against a wall, the sky and the ground splitting the composition vertically. Finley renders part of the figure with glitchy brush strokes, adding to the aesthetic disorientation, showing us that as a hyperrealist, he also has something to say. Stephanie Chefas Projects, 305 SE 3rd Ave., No. 202, 310990-0702. Through July 2.

Land Ohne Eltern (Country Without Parents)

Due to economic hardship, it is a common practice for parents in the Republic of Moldova (formerly part of the Soviet Union) to leave their children behind while they seek work in other countries. Photographer Andrea Diefenbach follows some of these parents abroad to document their hard labor. Her series Land Ohne Eltern gives us both sides of the heartbreaking story, by showing images of parents alongside intimate portraits of the children back in Moldova who are being raised by family, friends or, in some cases, no one. Blue Sky Gallery, 122 NW 8th Ave., 503-2250210. Through July 3.

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Artist Robert Schlegel and his son Rob Schlegel, a poet, collaborated on a series of visual and textual works on paper. Using dictionary pages as his canvas, the elder Schlegel drew acrylic and charcoal figures against a wordy background that his son scoured for the building blocks of his poems. The resulting work, shown as limited-edition archival prints, shows form interrupted by language and language obscured by form, causing us to look at both more critically and with greater curiosity. Roll-Up Photo Studio + Gallery, 1715 SE Spokane St., 503-267-5835. Through June 30.

Out There

Printmaker Alyson Provax is interested in “how we approach that which we do not know.” In Out There, Wolff Gallery’s second exhibition, Provax uses monotype, collage and the experimental letterpress techniques she is known for to explore the mysteries of the universe. In one piece, the artist prints the phrase “I felt the sound more than heard it,” and repeats it diagonally across the paper, like a mechanical glitch that conveys the faded echo of someone’s story about a UFO encounter. Wolff Gallery, 618 NW Glisan St., Suite R1, 971-4131340. Through July 3.

Out West Back East

Entering Adams and Ollman feels like walking into painter Sarah McEneaney’s diary, where she chronicles, with naive technique, the experiences of her daily life. Water features prominently in selfportraits of the artist camping along the banks of the river, night swimming in a fenced pool, and rafting under a starred sky. Out West Back East also gives us a glimpse into McEneaney’s domestic life: curled up with a book on a friend’s sofa or at home with her animals. McEneaney’s intimate and autobiographical canvases feel distinctly feminine in the way that they draw is into her world and capture the ephemeral moments that might otherwise pass us by. Adams and Ollman, 209 SW 9th Ave., 503-724-0684.

Through July 8.

Reactive Matters

This might be the first time you see a photo show in which one of the photographers never touched a camera.

Newspace’s thoughtful exhibition, Reactive Matters, features the work of three photographers about the effect of nuclear energy on our environment. Shimpei Takeda exposes photosensitive paper to soil samples from Fukushima, capturing latent images of radioactivity that look like the night sky—his camera nowhere in sight.

Abbey Hepner photographs nuclear waste facilities using a vanished processing technique involving uranium that lends an acid-orange cast to her images. Jeremy Bolen buried his film near nuclear reactors before unearthing it to document the surrounding landscapes. The work of these three artists is a powerful testament to conceptual photography. Newspace Center for Photography, 1632 SE 10th Ave., 503-963-1935. Through July 23.

Sharon Bronzan

Sometimes we find treasures where we’re not looking. If you bypass the two main exhibitions at Augen Gallery (we’re going rogue here), you will find a series of figurative paintings on panel by artist Sharon Bronzan. Bronzan’s female subjects stand triumphantly in treetops and consort with foxes and antelope, all while wearing clothes that match the forms of nature around them. The magical quality of the work makes it feel as though it was created by a fine artist who got her start illustrating children’s books. So unless you’re hard-hearted or have lost your sense of wonder, Bronzan’s paintings will carry to back to a sweeter more innocent time. Augen Gallery, 716 NW Davis St., 546-5056. Through July 2.

Willamette Week JUNE 29, 2016 wweek.com

DeaD Man Walking by Delfin finley, Part of get real

Specular

When you arrive at Hap Gallery this month, the space will be completely empty save for a pair of enormous black goggles hanging on the wall, trailed by a long chord. Putting them on transports you into an immersive virtual reality installation, designed by artist Damien Gilley, that resembles the digital future promised to us by sci-fi films of the ‘80s (think: Tron). Neon green and fuchsia lines, like laser beams, define the planes of the room, giving you the impression that you are inside a three-dimensional blueprint drawn by an architect on hallucinogens. Gilley developed the installation during a residency with the interactive software company dotdotdash, which coded the program so that Gilley could draw and edit the environment himself, in three dimensions, using wireless remotes in both hands. Gilley employs such economy of gesture, giving us so much to navigate with so little. Hap Gallery, 916 NW Flanders St., 503-444-7101.

Through July 9.

Subduction

When you walk into Upfor to survey the exhibition as a whole, there is a vanished and unknowable quality to the work. You tell yourself that if you get closer, each piece will reveal itself to you. But strangely, surprisingly, gloriously, that never happens.

Even when you look at the materials list for each of the 2-D pieces— which range from lithographic plates to pigment prints to wax paper—it’s impossible to tell how the images were created. And this feels entirely freeing. Upfor’s ambitious mission to show time-based and new media work that often centers around technology, can cause its exhibitions to feel disjointed. But with Subduction, a three-person show featuring the work of artists Sharon Koelblinger, Harold Mendez and Ronny Quevedo, Upfor has created a beautifully cohesive show that will sink into your bones if you let it. Upfor, 929 NW Flanders St., 503-227-5111. Through July 9.

For more Visual Arts listings, visit

The United States v. Tim DeChristopher

Some artists devote themselves to creating objects, others to creating awareness. Andrea Bowers, an artist and social activist, falls into the latter category with her documentary short The United States v. Tim DeChristopher. The film, projected in the back gallery at Elizabeth Leach, tells the story of DeChristopher’s protest of an oil and gas auction in Utah’s untouched Red Rocks region.

In an attempt to prevent drilling, DeChristpher bid on 22,000 acres of land totaling $1.8 million dollars and, upon winning, refused to pay. There are setbacks and triumphs to how things turn out—and I don’t want to spoil it—but Bowers shows us how the average person can take on powerful forces to change great swaths of our country. Elizabeth Leach Gallery, 417 NW 9th Ave., 503-224-0521. Through July 16.

BOOKS = WW Pick. Highly recommended.

By JAMES HELMSWORTH. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, submit lecture or reading information at least two weeks in advance to: WORDS, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Email: words@wweek.com. Fax: 243-1115.

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 29 Portland Farmers Market Cookbook

C O U R T E S y O F K AT E C A R R O L L D E G U T E S . C O M

This might be playing right into Fred and Carrie’s hands, but that doesn’t mean it’s not true: the Portland Farmers Market—that’s the one downtown—is really world class.

Local food writer Ellen Jackson and Portland Farmers Market executive director Trudy Toliver compiled 100 seasonal recipes to highlight the market’s wares, as well as stories and cooking tips from the locals themselves. Annie Bloom’s Books, 7834 SW Capitol Highway, 503-246-0053.

7 pm. Free.

urban soccer-dad-cum-international-soccer-official, for unreported income. They found that he was using international soccer to make himself tremendously wealthy— but his cooperation as an informant revealed corruption throughout FIFA. The story is told by former New York Daily News editors Mary Papenfuss and Teri Thompson. Powell’s Books on Hawthorne, 3723 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 800-878-7323. 7:30 pm. Free.

Charles Stross

Charles Stross’ The Laundry Files series follows the mishaps of an IT technician for Britain’s occultsecurity ministry. The latest, The Nightmare Stacks, follows an accidental vampire on a quest to find the agency’s new headquarters. Stross’s first novel, Singularity Sky, was nominated for a Hugo Award, and his novella “Concrete Jungle” won it. Powell’s City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., 800-878-7323.

7:30 pm. Free.

FRIDAY, JULY 1 Ophelia Darkly and Davey Cadaver

Kate Carroll de Gutes

Pride Foundation Fundraiser

The Pride Foundation offers scholarships and grants to help better the lives of LGBTQ people in the Pacific Northwest. This fundraiser will feature readings by some of the best queer authors in the region: Oregon Book and Lambda Award winner Kate Carroll de Gutes, Robert Hill and Cat Spivey, as well as former Pride Foundation scholarship recipient Kelly Jeske. Another Read Through, 3932 N Mississippi Ave., 503-208-2729. 7 pm. Free.

Dorthe Nors

Dorthe Nors’s So Much for That Winter is a collection of two novellas.

The first, “Days,” finds a 30-something woman recounting her life through a series of listicles. The second, “Minna Needs Rehearsal Space,” tells the story of an avantgarde musician who’s subjected to a text-message breakup. Powell’s Books on Hawthorne, 3723 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 800-878-7323.

7:30 pm. Free.

Midge Raymond

Midge Raymond’s first novel is a romance for people with “Coexist” stickers on their Outbacks: every year, Deb and Keller meet in Antarctica, of all places, where they work in ecotourism. But one year, Keller doesn’t show up, and Deb picks up a distress signal. Keller is among the distressed. Powell’s City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., 800-878-7323. 7:30 pm. Free.

Local alt model and poet Ophelia Darkly switches things up by putting out a short-story collection, Coffee Monsters. It’s illustrated with coffee art—that’s art made using coffee, not art in or of coffee. Davey Cadaver will be coffee arting along to the reading. Annie Bloom’s Books, 7834 SW Capitol Highway, 503-246-0053.

7 pm. Free.

Brian Blanchfield

North Carolina poet Brian Blanchfield, winner of the 2014 James Laughlin Award and a professor at the Univerisity of Arizona, reads to celebrate his new collection of essays, Proxies: Essays Near Knowing. The essays explore the idea of knowledge, touching on everything from house-sitting to Br’er Rabbit. He’ll be joined by poets Tyler Brewington, Zachary Schomburg and Jae Choi. Independent Publishing Resource Center, 1001 SE Division St., 827-0249. 7 pm. Free.

SATURDAY, JULY 2 Backfence Russian Roulette

Local Moth-like storytelling series Backfence hosts a round of Russian roulette. Seven different storytellers will be given a prompt—baked beans, say—from which they must immediately come up with a 5-minute true story. Winner gets money, losers weep publicly. The anointed tellers include author Mark Russell, Emmy-nominated drag queen Sasha Scarlett, and three WW contributors: comics Alex Falcone and Caitlin Weierhauser, and Heavy Metal Sewing Circle’s Nathan Carson. Bring tomatoes. Disjecta, 8371 N Interstate Ave., 503-286-9449, backfencepdx. com. 7 pm.$16-$20.

THURSDAY, JUNE 30

TUESDAY, JULY 5

Dan Raphael, Neil Aitken and Christi Krug

Chris Forhan with Carl Adamshick

Three local poets converge for a night of reading: Dan Raphael is the former NRG editor, Neil Aitken is a Levine Prize winner, and Christi Krug is an author and writing coach.

Another Read Through, 3932 N Mississippi Ave., 503-208-2729.

7 pm. Free.

American Huckster

It’s a sign of the times that Americans care enough about soccer to be central figures in one of the international game’s biggest scandals. Back in 2011, the IRS began investigating Chuck Blazer, a sub-

Poet Chris Forhan takes a turn for the biographic, exploring the lives of his ancestors in relation to his own.

They are lives rife with silence and loss. The head of a large and stoic Irish-Catholic household, Forhan’s father committed suicide when Forhan was a teenager. Forhan has released three award-winning poetry collections and teaches at Butler University. He’ll be speaking with local poet Carl Adamschick. Powell’s City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., 800-878-7323. 7:30 pm. Free.

For more Books listings, visit

Willamette Week JUNE 29, 2016 wweek.com

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C O U R T E S Y O F G R AV I TA S V E N T U R E S

MOVIES = WW Pick. Highly recommended.

Editor: ENID SPITZ. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, send screening information at least two weeks in advance to Screen, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Email: espitz@wweek.com. Fax: 243-1115.

OPENING THIS WEEK The BFG

B- The BFG was my favorite book growing up, and like all Roald Dahl books, it’s an ecstatic mix of the sentimental and cruel—the story of a young orphan named Sophie abducted by a lovable Big Friendly Giant who catches and releases dreams. It is also a cavalcade of bodily functions rendered funny and an encyclopedia of brutality at the hands of other, evil giants like Bonecruncher and Fleshlumpeater. It’s clear that Steven Spielberg loves the book just as much as I do, and that’s the whole problem with the movie. Dahl’s book is devoted to wonderment and the clanging together of jabberwocky gobblefunking words…and so is much of the movie. The BFG’s first hour is a shamblingly slow, largely plotless sightseeing tour of giants-ville, less awestruck and mournful than merely lethargic. And it makes ill use of one of the most splendid animated creations in filmdom— the BFG himself (Mark Rylance). His empathetic face hurdles the uncanny valley with ease. It’s the young Sophie (Ruby Barnhill), not the giant, who feels dead-eyed. Luckily, the movie’s second half redeems the early languors with a slapstick comedy of farting dogs and queenly manners. My niece and nephew may not have left the movie with a sense of the beauty and fragility of the world, but they did really love the fart jokes.

PG. MATTHEW KORFHAGE. Bridgeport, Cedar Hills, City Center, Clackamas, Division, Eastport, Lloyd, Pioneer Place, Tigard, Vancouver.

An Evening With the J.U.M.P. Society

B- Each short film in this showcase from the Juneau Underground Motion Picture Society has an eccentric edge to its comedy, an awareness of the great outdoors, and lots of Alaskan pride. You’ll see a music video for Playboy Spaceman in which Juneau natives sing the lyrics to “Right in Front of You,” and a short called “Frankie” about a belligerent bear who can’t stay off the sauce or out of the dumpster. Alaska Robotics contributes a sarcastic edit of a Senate floor session into a suspenseful short film, and a sweded parody of David Bowie’s “Space Oddity” titled “Space Weird Thing” in which the lyrics have been rewritten using only the thousand most common words in English. Many of these films feel carefree, akin to the impulsive silliness of high school broadcasts.

It’s clear the society is really having a blast making movies. The fact that these vibrant productions come from a land with a winter longer than ours shows we could all use more Alaskan humor in our lives. NR. LAUREN TERRY. NW Film Center’s Whitsell Auditorium. 8:30 pm Wednesday, June 29.

Nuts!

C- Kudos to filmmaker Penny Lane and writer Thom Stylinski for the clever approach they take to their new highconcept documentary, Nuts!, about John Romulus Brinkley, a real-life Kansas doctor who in 1917 attempted to cure impotence by transplanting goat testicles in men. Too bad, though, the onscreen result is less than stimulating—much, much less funny or cute than it thinks it is. Only in America could a jerk-off like Brinkley nearly win the governorship of the Jayhawk State, build his own radio station to broadcast the world’s first infomercials, and make millions doing it.

Such a shame then, that as his biography unfolds in wonderfully rendered animated re-enactments, the jokes meant to carry these scenes fall noticeably flat.

What should have been a triumphant reveal at the film’s climax instead flops out flaccid due in no small part to all the forehead-pounding boredom that precedes it. R. LUKE JOHNSON. Cinema 21.

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Vita Activa: The Spirit of Hannah Arendt

A- Ada Ushpiz’s black-and-white doc about the colorful life of German-Jewish philosopher Hannah Arendt carefully combines interviews of supporters and haters, love affairs and her think pieces such as Eichmann in Jerusalem (1963) on the big screen in a way 21st-century audiences can relate to. Actress Alison Darcy reads excerpts from Arendt’s personal diary and love letters to her married professor, though Arendt’s theories are displayed archaically in 40-year-old television footage. Vita Activa will make you an Arendt expert in a mere 125 minutes, in case you wanted to skip reading her work or a boring biography. NR. AMY WOLFE. Living Room Theaters.

The Purge: Election Year

In writer-director James DeMonaco’s dystopian future America, all crimes are legal for one day of the year. This third installment, set 10 years after the last Purge we witnessed, follows Senator Charlene Roan (Elizabeth Mitchell), a front-runner in the next presidential election, who is calling for an end to the barbaric holiday. If she lives through this one.

Screened after deadline; see wweek.com for Lauren Terry’s review. R. Bridgeport, Cedar Hills, City Center, Clackamas, Division, Eastport, Lloyd, Pioneer Place, Tigard.

STILL SHOWING Alice Through the Looking Glass

D James Bobin has turned down the

quirk from Tim Burton’s atrocious predecessor—viewers are mercifully spared another Johnny Depp dance number— but the basic problems remain. Alice is a bland action hero. Helena Bonham Carter’s Red Queen is ear-piercingly obnoxious. Depp’s Mad Hatter just plain sucks. Time (Sacha Baron Cohen, with a thick German accent) provides an occasional laugh here and there, but they’re surrounded by a mess of lame attempts at wit, faux profundity and unearned emotional resolutions. It’s bad, and everyone involved should feel bad. PG. JOHN LOCANTHI. Clackamas, Division, Living Room Theaters.

The Angry Birds Movie

Perhaps the greatest Finnish-American collaboration this decade is this movie based on a game based on anger management therapy and avian flu. PG. Academy, Avalon, Clackamas, Valley, Vancouver.

Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice

D Batman and Superman are fighting, and it’s hard to choose a side. The new Superman is boring and out of place in the 21st century. Batman, on the other hand, has been reinvented as a huge dickhead. Played by Ben Affleck with a characteristic lack of gravitas, Batman walks around in a silly metal suit killing people. You know how Batman never kills people? He does now. Even when he doesn’t have to. He even tries killing Superman because, you know, “he might be bad later.” With nobody to root for, BvS:DoJ is just an unconscionably long slugfest simultaneously attempting too much and accomplishing almost nothing.

PG-13. ALEX FALCONE. Vancouver.

Captain America: Civil War

A- Captain America: Civil War, though,

is proof you can jam pretty much every superhero in your roster into one film and still let individuals shine. In pitting team Iron Man (Robert Downey Jr.) against Team Cap (Chris Evans) over a suspiciously fascist registration law for “enhanced humans,” directors Joe and Anthony Russo could have just put the heroes in a big-ass sandbox and let

Willamette Week JUNE 29, 2016 wweek.com

PITCH PERFECT: Flula Borg.

FEATURE

Buddymooning With Flula Borg THE GERMAN YOUTUBE STAR SPEAKS ON BROMANCE AND PORTLAND HIKES.

BY LAU R EN TER RY

@LaurenYTerry

The star of Grimm, the villain in Pitch Perfect 2 and the director of the Al-Jazeera documentary Borderland used to be roommates, and back then, they swore they would make a movie together.

Buddymoon, opening this Friday, makes good on that promise. It is a charming, bromancein-nature comedy following David Giuntoli and German YouTube phenomenon Flula Borg as fictional versions of themselves.

The trio filmed in Oregon, ad-libbing most of the dialogue in the unscripted film about a morose actor who gets dumped right before his wedding and agrees to go on his honeymoon hike with his eccentric foreign friend Flula instead of his wife. Alex Simmons directs with reverence for the Pacific Northwest, incorporating diary entries from Meriwether Lewis throughout the buddies’ trek.

Before Buddymoon’s release, Flula Borg talked with WW about —FLULA peeing in cars, his crush on Grimm and hiking in Portland.

traveling in Germany. I moved to America shortly after, and we ended up living together in L.A. We met the director of Buddymoon, Alex Simmons, while looking for a housemate on Craigslist. He was not a casual encounter, I promise.

Why did you film in Oregon?

Besides us really liking Portland, it worked out nicely with David about to start another season of Grimm. We had to fit in filming between that and my wrapping up Pitch Perfect 2, so we did it in 10 days. If those 10 days hadn’t worked out, the movie probably wouldn’t have happened. When it actually came to pass, we were so excited that we couldn’t resist using our real names in the movie.

Do you have a favorite place in Portland?

In Portland, it’s like a Miss America pageant, but all of the winners are mountains and trees. I love beer, coffee, rain, the nature.

Portland and the hiking are like lasagna: There are lots of good little things, but you have to bite it all at once to get the dozens of delicious flavors.

BORG

“PORTLAND AND THE HIKING ARE LIKE LASAGNA.”

WW: A lot of your YouTube videos take place in cars. Are you homeless?

Flula Borg: I enjoy to save money on rent, yes.

But I find that there’s a lot of inspiration when you’re in the car. There’s such a driving culture here, especially in L.A. What’s come out of your most inspirational L.A. traffic jams?

One time I was driving with my friends’ dogs, and one starting peeing in the back seat. I realized we should all be outside all the time and had a metaphysical breakdown and wrote a song about it.

How did you and David Giuntoli end up being roommates?

Just like in the movie, I met him while he was

Were you familiar with the story of Lewis and Clark?

I know some American history, but that was a deep cut. Alex is from Idaho and knew a lot about their story. It was Alex’s call to make it more of a backbone during the editing, having David read the passages from the Meriwether Lewis journal in voice-overs. I’m like a crazy jumping bean the whole movie, and David is like a sleepy twinkie— his character needed more.

Will the three amigos reunite?

We would like to make a TV show happen, for sure. I have asked too many times for a cameo on Grimm, so I don’t think it will ever happen. I think David knows I’d go nuts on that set.

SEE IT: Buddymoon is not rated. It opens Friday at Living Room Theaters and on demand.

them duke it out. They do that, and it’s spectacular. But there’s nothing redundant in the action here, from a Bourne-esque opening chase to closecombat thrills reminiscent of The Raid to a surprisingly subdued and heartfelt finale. The Russos have heard your complaints about universe-building at the expense of story. Civil War is fun. It’s smart. It’s coherent. And, most importantly, it allows its heart to beat strongly amid the chaos. Your move, DC. PG-13. AP KRYZA. Bridgeport, Cedar Hills, Clackamas, Fox Tower, Tigard.

writer Oliver Stone was thrown off the set for being a total shit during the filming of Scarface. R. LAUREN TERRY. Hollywood.

Everybody Wants Some!!

A- Richard Linklater’s newest film

doesn’t have a plot. But you’ll hardly realize it—and you probably won’t care. Everybody Wants Some!! says “fuck that” to Hollywood convention, which makes sense for the filmmaker who stunned the world with Boyhood’s artful filmmaking techniques that still broke the box office.

This “fuck it” attitude also makes

Central Intelligence

The Conjuring 2

B- First thing’s first: The Conjuring 2 is often very scary. The story of a downtrodden British family in Enfield tormented by the vengeful spirit of an old cockney man ups the voltage slowly but steadily. Never mind that the true story is reportedly a hoax: Scary’s scary, and for at least its first hour, C2 delivers an old-school haunted-house experience of the Poltergeist variety. Thing is, we’ve seen this before. In between creating the Saw series and launching Vin Diesel off a skyscraper in Furious 7, director James Wan has more or less been revisiting the same funhouse during the course of the Insidious and Conjuring films, which are essentially interchangeable except for Conjuring’s ’70s setting. Still, Wan seems content painting over the same canvas, adding flourishes that are richer and scarier with each pass. If he wants to keep tinkering, we’ll keep coming, because when Conjuring 2 is scary, it’s in a class of its own. R. AP KRYZA. Bridgeport, Cedar Hills, City Center, Clackamas, Division, Eastport, Fox Tower, Lloyd, Oak Grove, Tigard, Vancouver.

De Palma

B+ For film buffs who would kill to

have lunch with their favorite New Hollywood director, DePalma is your dream date with the creator of Carrie, Scarface, Dressed to Kill and The Untouchables. Sitting in what looks like the living room of fanboys/directors Noah Baumbach or Jake Paltrow, Brian De Palma walks us through his life and IMDb page. De Palma briefly mentions his Quaker childhood in New Jersey and being drawn to filmmaking after watching Vertigo while studying physics at Columbia University, but he’s as impatient to get to his own movies as we are. As a storyteller, De Palma is the classic aging boomer. All the “holy mackerels” and good-natured chuckles make him so relatable that when he says “Bobby” you forget he means Robert De Niro.

Clips from De Palma’s films, influences such as Hitchcock, and even home movies from his pal “Stevie” (Steven Spielberg) are woven into his yarn, with only De Palma’s voice narrating the film. In fact, this documentary is exclusively De Palma on De Palma. Many will come for the behindthe-scenes gossip from the sets of De Palma’s iconic films. Yes, screen-

Finding Dory

B+ The sea has become a little more existential since Nemo got found.

For 13 years, the entire world eagerly awaited Pixar’s sequel and the return of Ellen DeGeneres as the forgetful Dory. This time, Dory is on a quest to find her family. The Nemo clan’s all here—the SoCal sea turtle still stoned—plus the introduction of a likable, pessimistic octopus named

CONT. on page 48

REVIEW COURTESY OF A24

C A buddy action comedy that relies on cheesy stunts, penis jokes and bro buffoonery—like most of its genre brethren—Central Intelligence is a far cry from anything resembling intelligence. Dwayne Johnson, once the overweight target of bullies in high school, shows up 20 years later as a steroid-ridden CIA agent who recruits former classmate Kevin Hart, now a number-crunching desk jockey, to help him solve a case. Between killing people for a living, Johnson references unicorns and Molly Ringwald, giving the stale story a little zest.

Johnson and Hart might update the Schwarzenegger-DeVito duo from Twins for millennials, but Intelligence can’t deliver anything we haven’t seen before. PG-13. MICHELLE DEVONA. Bridgeport, Cedar Hills, City Center, Clackamas, Division, Eastport, Lloyd, Oak Grove, Pioneer Place, St. Johns Pub and Theater, Tigard, Vancouver.

sense for a film that follows a college baseball team in 1980s Texas through the three days before school starts. R. SOPHIA JUNE. Laurelhurst.

Th e W

PARDON ME: Paul Dano and Daniel Radcliffe.

We All Live in a Farting Corpse Boner Universe

Known as the “Daniel Radcliffe farting corpse boner movie” since its Sundance premiere, Swiss Army Man somehow makes flatulence and an erection even more preposterously important than that description suggests. They are water-based propulsion and a de facto compass, respectively. Together, they are symbols of body positivity, courtesy of a cadaver.

The living member of this two-man show is Hank (Paul Dano), who opens the movie in preparations to hang himself on a deserted island. What stops him is a dapper corpse (Radcliffe) washing ashore. Hank will come to call the body “Manny,” and it will start farting almost immediately.

This debut feature from Dan Kwan and Daniel Scheinert finds its keel with Dano carrying the corpse inland, convinced of its magic, and Manny slowly returning to a kind of life. In the blank slate of Manny’s mind, Hank discovers a reason to live, schooling his zombie buddy on the facts of life: riding the bus, masturbating, the misery of social mores and Jurassic Park. What’s better than the roles themselves—a depressed hipster castaway and his blue-suited Wilson—is that Dano and Radcliffe wouldn’t dream of winking at the film’s lunacy. In a movie largely about belief making life worthwhile, theirs is deal-sealing.

In gorgeous, intense montage sequences, the actors make their own world from flotsam and litter, with Manny becoming an multipurpose survival tool unto himself, splitting wood and starting fires with his head and hands.

The intellectual message of Swiss Army Man is merely passable.

It has no doubt dawned on everyone that humanity’s constraints are arbitrary, that when you think about it, man, we’re all just animals. The two buddies rhapsodizing can sound like an iPhone commercial. But underscored by madness, starvation and a bunch of farting, that talk grips you with fearless irony. Swiss Army Man is surrealist like Calvin & Hobbes is. You can’t say for sure where the adventure starts or ceases. Your hero may be unfit for modern life.

Reality may be a split second from shattering your daydream. But if only they could see what you do. CHANCE SOLEM-PFEIFER.

Daniel Radcliffe plays morbid, existential make-believe in Swiss Army Man.

B+ SEE IT: Swiss Army Man is rated R. It opens Friday at Clackamas, Hollywood.

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MOVIES

The Fits

A- Director Anna Rose Holmer’s first

feature film, The Fits, introduces a young, tomboy boxer named Toni (Royalty Hightower) and her struggle to fit in.

When Toni pivots from boxing and joins an all-girl dance team, the Lionesses, she’s lost in the lip gloss and girlygirl attitude of the dancers. Holmer’s film never loses its punch, though.

Drawing on slow-motion shots of workouts, dance scenes, and mysterious fainting spells that begin to afflict the dancers, the director avoids the cutesy approach to preteen struggles that we usually expect from such films. In the best scenes, dancers take over urban areas, like a highway overpass, with their heavy breathing echoing across the cityscape as the camera pans out. NR. AMY WOLFE. Living Room Theaters.

Free State of Jones

B The trailer smacks of another story

of a “great white man” pushed over the edge. Matthew McConaughey is a Mississippi farmer who turns against the Confederacy in what amounts to a less cliché retelling of a truly fascinating, forgotten bit of history. The bad guys are not the South, war or slavery (although they are all bad). The real enemies in this movie are the haves and the have nots.

The film’s struggle for liberty outlasts the main character, Newt Knight, and the Civil War, staying relevant to modern-day issues but happily devoid of any references to the present day. It’s a true epic that should sit alongside films like Glory. R. EZRA JOHNSON-GREENOUGH. Bridgeport, Cedar Hills, City Center, Clackamas, Division, Eastport, Fox Tower, Living Room Theaters, Lloyd, Oak Grove, Tigard, Vancouver.

Genius

B Thomas Wolfe’s novels have largely

faded from public memory, and Genius is more interesting for it. Despite a couple “Welcome to literary history!” banners unfurling in the form of Hemingway and Fitzgerald asides, it’s a movie of timeless artistic arguments between writer and editor—about the nobility and pitfalls of prose and pruning that prose. Played loudly by Jude Law, Wolfe is flamboyantly Southern and verbose. The historical drama’s heart, however, belongs to Colin Firth guardedly portraying editor Maxwell Perkins. Housed mostly in a drab, Depression-era office at Scribner, Genius fails like so many author movies to make the creation of brilliant fiction compelling. But peel back the cheese and half-done parts for Perkins’ family, and the central parable on loneliness, friendship and business would survive most editors’ pencils. PG-13. CHANCE SOLEM-PFEIFER. Fox Tower.

Green Room

B+ Patrick Stewart plays the big bad leader of a backwoods gang of white supremacists. The punk-rock band that falls into his clutches is loosely led by Anton Yelchin (Scotty in the new Star Trek films), and the band is on an unsuccessful tour, taking a detour to play a paying gig at a neo-Nazi compound.

There, the band witnesses a murder that these guys won’t let them walk away from. The characters on both sides are loosely drawn but smart enough not to make stupid decisions, which makes the delay of action last longer than expected.

Like Akira Kurosawa, Saulnier finds the anticipation of violence more cinematic than its outcome, which are brief but gratuitous acts that leave a stain. The

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outcomes are unpredictable, shocking, grisly and really fun. PG-13. EZRA JOHNSON-GREENOUGH. Laurelhurst.

Honeyglue

C A twee romp through the familiar

territory of indie faux-rebellion, James Bird’s Honeyglue goes through all the regular motions. This time the leads are Morgan, the naive and terminally ill teenage daughter of a loving family, and her love interest Jordan, a sanctimonious and gender-bending rebel with a dark past. After a cute shotgun wedding, the couple commits a cute robbery and randomly kidnaps a doctor—but in, like, a cute and consequence-free kinda way. A powerful scene sporadically appears, but there’s also a song-and-dance number, children’s animation within the narrative, and the forced use of 19 mm film.

As it tackles issues like cancer, death and gender dynamics, Honeyglue is a lot like Portland: conventionally unconventional.

R. CURTIS COOK. Clinton Street Theater.

The Huntsman: Winter’s War

B It’s been called an unnecessary sequel.

And it may be, but as a steadfast lover of swords and sorcery films, I must steadfastly protect it like the Citadel Guards of Gondor. This sequel functions as both a prequel and sequel to the first film, and it actually does a competent job of completely leaving out Snow White. The thing is, Kristen Stewart as Snow White was the worst thing about the first film.

She functioned almost solely as a lightly emoting MacGuffin with too much screen time. Snow White’s absence is more than made up for by a very game Jessica Chastain as the huntsman’s feisty partner, who is a lot of fun as a badass warrior, and Chris Hemsworth does Hemsworth well as the over-cocky, macho title character. Compared to similar genre entries recently, like The Last Witch Hunter, 47 Ronin and Seventh Son, it’s practically a masterpiece, and if I was 13 years old, it might be my favorite film. PG-13. EZRA JOHNSON-GREENOUGH. Avalon, Valley.

Independence Day: Resurgence

Director Roland Emmerich waited 20 years to revisit Independence Day, perhaps to give civilization a chance to fix up all the landmarks the aliens blew up so he can lay waste to them once again. Will Smith won’t be back in his star-making turn, but Jeff Goldblum and other essential cast members are back to stammer and stare wide-eyed as monuments go boom once more.

Not screened for critics. Not a good sign. PG-13. AP KRYZA. Beaverton Wunderland, Bridgeport, Cedar Hills, City Center, Clackamas, Division, Eastport, Lloyd, Milwaukie, Oak Grove, Pioneer Place, St. Johns 1 & 2, Tigard, Vancouver.

The Jungle Book

B+ Director Jon Favreau may have been out to show off the latest in special effects, but his reverence for the classic 1967 cartoon shines through all the digital rendering. He probably should’ve thought twice before having Bill Murray sing a warbly, soulless version of the “Bare Necessities,” but even I felt a shiver of childhood nostalgia when the familiar drum beat played in the opening credits. PG. LAUREN TERRY. Bridgeport, Clackamas, Pioneer Place.

Keanu

B- The movie is named after the adorable escaped pet of a Mexican drug lord, and the poster is of said kitten, but the film’s real draw is clear: Jordan Peele and Keegan-Michael Key, the comedy duo from the gone-too-soon sketch show Key and Peele and the not-gone-soonenough MADtv. Key (the bald, tall one) plays neurotic family man Clarence, while Peele plays Relle, his desperate, recently dumped cousin. Relle finds Keanu, only to have the cat stolen in a Lebowskian drug mixup. This sends the cousins on a quest to rescue the kitty, which involves posing as assassins, doing a terrifying drug and some cold-blooded murder. It’s essentially a movie extrapolation of that bit about “White Sounding Black Guys,” which leads to some hilarious moments, like one-upmanship over who got beaten up by tougher guys. At the same time, it’s a skinny framework for carrying a movie. R. JAMES HELMSWORTH.

Willamette Week JUNE 29, 2016 wweek.com

Academy, Jubitz, Kennedy School, Laurelhurst, Valley, Vancouver.

The Lobster

B+ The Lobster is one of those dystopian sci-fi movies that needs to spend the first 30 minutes laying down the ground rules of the setting. David (Colin Farrell) is single, which is outlawed, so he goes to a singles retreat. But there is one catch: If you don’t find a mate within 60 days, you will be turned into an animal. On the plus side, you get to pick your animal. David chooses the lobster.

Interesting concept, though this vision of the future mostly involves Farrell, John C. Reilly, Rachel Weisz and the rest of cast speaking in a dull, passionless monotone.

R. JOHN LOCANTHI. CineMagic, Cinema 21, Hollywood, Lloyd.

Love & Friendship

B+ Kate Beckinsale stars in Whit Stillman’s vicious comedy of manners as Lady Susan Vernon, an accomplished flirt and recent widow who guilts her sisterin-law into hosting her and then brings a maelstrom of drama into the household, mainly in the form of would-be suitors and a runaway daughter. Lady Susan may have no shame, but Beckinsale plays up her character’s propriety, always pronouncing her witty, backhanded comments with a composed pout. Anything besides another Pride and Prejudice remake would feel radical, but Stillman manages to play with the text’s catty eloquence in a modern way, reminding us of Austen’s audacity and sense of humor. R. LAUREN TERRY. Fox Tower.

fashion model’s innocence is tested as she rapidly scales the peaks of success.

Of course everyone wants a piece of her, including morgue makeup artist Jena Malone, an eternally angry hotel proprietor played by Keanu Reeves, and a mountain lion. Los Angeles itself becomes one incarnation of the titular monstrosity, trying to devour the nature it cannot emulate. What does work are the many slow-motion beauty sequences, set to a scintillating synthesizer soundtrack. Unfortunately the end credits fall prey to a Diplo song that already dates this film. Patient fans of eye candy may get their money’s worth from The Neon Demon, but those craving a good story will be better served with another viewing of Black Swan. R. NATHAN CARSON. Bridgeport, Cinema 21, City Center, Clackamas, Division, Vancouver.

The Nice Guys

A- The Nice Guys exists in some weird, hyperviolent mirror image of Los Angeles—one that looks a lot like Atlanta.

It’s like Roger Rabbit’s Toontown, but populated with cartoons that bleed. The Nice Guys plays like a 1970s spiritual sequel to writer-director Shane Black’s 2005 Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, a winking landmark of self-aware grit that revitalized Robert Downey Jr.’s career. And it’s kind of perfect. The plot is inconsequential, involving a dead porn star, a bunch of gangsters, a missing student, some more gangsters and the auto industry. But all of that is just an excuse to get its perfectly cast stars lobbing insults. Showing comic chops that belie his fuckhead reputation, Russell Crowe is hilarious as a broad-bodied bruiser. He’s paired with Ryan Gosling’s shrill, alcoholic PI, whose Buster Keaton-esque clumsiness adds “physical comedy” to the résumé of

REVIEW JAAP BUITENDIJK

Hank (Ed O’Neill) and catty sea lion (Idris Elba). The film keeps its Nemo charm and comedic voices while offering a more serious tone for Pixar’s message: We are all special, in our own way. You can sway to the singing stingrays, 3-D giggle at a nearsighted hammerhead shark and appreciate the humor in fish residing in a rehabilitation center for “sick” sea life. There’s tears to fill a tide pool, wit to keep adults amused, and laughs for any audience with a short attention span. You will (hopefully) remember a majority of this film. PG. AMY WOLFE. Bagdad, Bridgeport, Cedar Hills, City Center, Clackamas, Division, Eastport, Lloyd, Milwaukie, Moreland, Oak Grove, Pioneer Place, Roseway, St. Johns 1 & 2, Tigard, Vancouver.

Maggie’s Plan

B As evidenced in Frances Ha and Mistress America, Greta Gerwig’s go-to acting move is convincing us of her character’s unbearable superficiality before letting the humanity surface. Playing a chronically single woman who falls for a wannabe novelist, she pulls off a similar feat in Maggie’s Plan with the help of a terrifically severe performance from Julianne Moore as the novelist’s wife.

From writer-director Rebecca Miller, the film’s ambience is the heir to ’70s Woody Allen, right down to the gypsy jazz. R. CHANCE SOLEM-PFEIFER. Clackamas, Fox Tower.

Me Before You

D Take me back to before I witnessed

the train wreck that is Me Before You. Based on Jo Jo Moyes’ bestselling novel, it’s no surprise the film’s death with dignity plot is already suffering backlash ranging from angry twitter hashtags to picketing outside film screenings.

Spontaneously ditzy Lou (Emilia Clarke) is hired to care for Will Turner (Sam Claflin), a job that includes trying to convince Turner he shouldn’t end his life because of a disability he suffers from since an accident years ago. PG-13.

AMY WOLFE. Bridgeport, Cedar Hills, Clackamas, Tigard.

Money Monster

C- George Clooney stars as a financial TV show host in the vein of Mad Money’s Jim Cramer, with Julia Roberts as his capable director and Jack O’Connell as the gunman who takes the studio hostage during a live broadcast. The gunman, an average joe seeking revenge for the savings he lost when Clooney’s character promoted bad stocks, is fed up with the 1 percent screwing the little guy. Like a good Bernie Bro, he’s out to expose it all. But like Jon Snow, he knows nothing, and the plot devolves into an unbelievably absurd investigation into the nefarious management of a stock that went tits up, treating the audience like the same fools the rich and powerful think we are. R. EZRA JOHNSONGREENOUGH. Living Room Theaters, Vancouver.

The Neon Demon

C You know what’s better than Nicolas Winding Refn’s latest film? The trailer.

Anyone who argues that The Neon Demon is a masterpiece—or worthless trash—is not to be trusted. Refn weds the stylishness of Drive with the brutality of his earlier, better movies, yielding mixed and often frustrating results.

In Refn’s latest male fantasy flick, Elle Fanning spins her beatific turn as Maleficent’s Aurora into a starring role as the fatal beauty Jesse. The 16-year-old

EmErgEncy BrExIT: Ewan mcgregor and Stellan Skarsgard.

The Brits Chicken Out Our Kind of Traitor has all the pieces and none of the payout.

Novels by British writer John le Carré take to film about as well as chicken takes to frying. The best of these movies, like Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy, are the fried chicken coq au vin at Le Pigeon: complex and interesting and, ultimately, very satisfying.

Our Kind of Traitor, the most recent le Carré caper to drop, is chicken of the grocery store deli variety. It is not great, but it satisfies in a pinch.

In The Constant Gardener and A Most Wanted Man, le Carré excels at bringing the thrills down to earth by settling relatable characters into deep intrigue in exotic locales.

The everyman anchoring Our Kind of Traitor is poetry professor Perry Makepeace (Ewan McGregor), who looks less like the chinless wimp his name implies and more like Movie Star McGregor with longish hair. If Makepeace were the recluse his name implies, we might be more engaged when he is thrown into the company of dashing MI6 agents and burly Russian mafiosos.

While vacationing in Marrakesh with his lawyer wife Gail (Naomie Harris), Makepeace befriends charismatic Russian oligarch Dima (Stellan Skarsgard). Dima, it turns out, is the main money launderer for the Russian mob, but he’s decided to become an informant against it to save the lives of his loved ones from a homicidal mob boss. While parlaying with fiery MI6 agent Hector (Damian Lewis) in an attempt to be one of the lucky few to get out of the Russian mob alive, Dima and company traipse through beautiful scenery in North Africa, Paris and the French Alps.

The execution of Traitor’s plot is less beautiful. The film is clumsy as it strains the audience’s suspension of disbelief to the breaking point. Dima is daubed with irritating Russian stereotypes, and upstanding agent Hector always seems shifty. Skarsgard and Lewis have enough vitality to float the workmanlike show from the rest of the cast, while cinematographer Anthony Dod Mantle (Slumdog Millionaire) relies on saturated colors and hallucinogenic effects to give an otherwise dialogue-heavy movie visual appeal. This is probably the weakest of le Carré film adaptations to date. But hey, it’s still chicken.

ZACH MIDDLETON. B- SEE IT: Our Kind of Traitor is rated R. It opens Friday at Fox Tower.

Now You See Me 2

C- A hyperbolic spectacle more than anything else, Now You See Me 2 supersedes its predecessor on every level of absurdity. Jesse Eisenberg leads the Four Horsemen in his usual irritatingly haughty fashion as the gang goes on a mission to steal a computer chip that can control the world. Ex-Hogwarts wizard Daniel Radcliffe, whose creepy bearded grin seems a permanent fixture on his face throughout the film, plays the “narcissistic little man-boy” villain who attempts to outwit the smug magicians. Trying too hard to be cool with a string of tricks each more ridiculous than the next, the flashy caper proves anything but magical. PG-13. MICHELLE DEVONA. Bridgeport, Cedar Hills, City Center, Clackamas, Division, Fox Tower, Living Room Theaters, Oak Grove, Tigard, Vancouver.

Popstar

C Even if it doesn’t bring to screen a

Wayne Campbell or a Blues Brother, Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping is an SNL movie. From the music parody trio the Lonely Island (Andy Samberg, Jorma Taccone, Akiva Schaffer), the mockumented rise and fall of fame-mongering musician Conner4Real is a sketch’s sensibility spread thinly, or simply repeated, across a film’s length. The comedic rhythm of Popstar may be telegraphed like bass drops in a banger, but its giddy irreverence and excessive talent pose a simple question: “What if this thing you once liked was a movie?” It features a dozen new Lonely Island songs, 30 celebrity cameos and the SNL Digital Short pioneers understanding what they always have: Their imitation and ludicrous exaggeration of radio rap is somehow both appealing satire and joyful tribute.

R. CHANCE SOLEM-PFEIFER. Fox Tower, Vancouver.

The Shallows

C+ In spite of the worrying combination of Blake Lively, a computer-generated shark, and director Jaume Collet-Serra (House of Wax), many critics welcomed The Shallows as a relief from the sequels and summer superhero flicks.

But drone shots of an aquamarine coastline do not a good film make. The story follows basic action-movie format: Nancy (Blake Lively) is taking time off from med school to retrace her late mother’s surfing tour through Mexico. Once you make it past the ill-fitting techno music as Nancy paddles into the break and a hungry shark strands her on a rock, the film grows into a decent thriller. Lively plays the everywoman without gratuitous sexuality, using quick thinking to survive.

The Shallows is at its best when teasing the audience with underwater shots, only occasionally showing Nancy tumbling into coral-crusted rocks as her shark bite emits red clouds of blood. PG-13.

LAUREN TERRY. Bridgeport, Cedar Hills, City Center, Clackamas, Division, Eastport, Lloyd, Oak Grove, Pioneer Place, Tigard, Vancouver.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows

C Adults nostalgic for old toys and unconcerned with plot will delight in this sloppy, campy trip to Michael Bay’s multimillion-dollar sandbox. Interdimensional monster Krang, an alien brain in a robot’s stomach and is voiced by Brad Garrett, is aided by Tyler Perry as a sniveling mad scientist who is also instrumental in getting nerds to cream their pants when punk-rock mutants Bebop and Rocksteady (a warthog and a rhino) start smashing shit and driving tanks. This is a Ninja Turtles movie. It’s what it needs to be. The characters—especially the heroes—are grating as hell, but look great. R. AP KRYZA. Clackamas.

Warcraft

D+ With Warcraft, writer-director Duncan Jones has managed to squander the creative momentum and criti-

cal goodwill he’s amassed, presenting another generic and listless excursion into a wasteland of storytelling misery.

A tremendous ensemble of pretty-boy Humans and CGI Orcs play out petty concerns to no resolution for over two hours of meandering story that’s only function is to set up sequels. Die-hard veterans of the games will find fun in seeing icons come to a bizarre sort of life, but the incomprehensible spectacle will crush the uninitiated. The film’s few saving graces include batshit insane spell-casting effects, the likes of which have never before been committed to the screen (and are solely responsible for this film not receiving an F). The other high—an enraged gryphon kicks a few Orc dudes off a cliff. Shame on you, Duncan. PG-13. MIKE GALLUCCI. Bridgeport, Cedar Hills, City Center, Clackamas, Division, Eastport, Lloyd, Tigard, Vancouver.

AP FILM STUDIES V I S I T O R 7/ W I K I M E D I A C O M M O N S

one of our generation’s biggest powerhouses. Investigating murder and missing persons, they fire off staccato quips as they rocket between scenes—including a crackerjack centerpiece at a mermaidthemed porn party. This movie starts at full speed and never stops. R. AP KRYZA. Bridgeport, Fox Tower.

Weiner

A Whether or not the disgraced politi-

cian practicing lines behind the lectern is actually contrite is almost beside the point. His name is Anthony Weiner, and he’s been busted for dick pics (again).

Weiner shifts his posture and raises his chin, imagining how all this will look at the upcoming press conference.

“And for that, I am profoundly sorry,” he says over and over, trying to affect the perfect tone of sincerity. He knows how important it is to get the optics right. Weaving together clips from cable news shows, YouTube videos, and footage filmed onsite at crucial moments, the new documentary Weiner shows the rise and eventual implosion of Weiner’s 2013 campaign for mayor of New York City. It’s the unprecedented level of access to the subject that makes Weiner a necessary and unflinching look at how the sausage of modern politics gets made. During a moment when he has just learned of a second wave of allegations about his digital infidelities, Weiner asks his closest advisers (but not the cameraman) to leave the room so he can talk to his wife, Huma Abedin. Viewed from across the blank, newly rented office, as if from a crouch in the corner, we see a marriage go into nuclear meltdown.

It’s tense and awkward, but the weirdest part is that Weiner would allow the moment to be caught on film. Directors Josh Kriegman and Elyse Steinberg warn us, lest we grow sanctimonious, that Weiner is just one member of a political ecosystem that rewards spectacle over real news. (A Google search of “Donald Trump” yields about 250 million results.) R. ZACH MIDDLETON. Cinema 21.

X-Men: Apocalypse

B+ The latest in the X-franchise proves

that the Marvel Cinematic Universe is not the only home for A-grade superhero fare. With Apocalypse, writer Bryan Singer has finally steered the ship back on course, crafting one of the greatest comics pictures to date. The film opens in ancient Egypt, introducing the titular villain as the first mutant.

Oscar Isaac portrays the blue-skinned Apocalypse then, aping Marlon Brando in Apocalypse Now. Jennifer Lawrence and Michael Fassbender return as Mystique and Magneto, respectively, and Hugh Jackman makes a brief but satisfying cameo as the pre-Wolverine Mutant X. Factions on the internet will inevitably find reasons to hate this movie. The Egyptians will be too pale for some. The question is: Do you want to have fun and enjoy a comic book turned into a quarter-billion-dollar feature film or would you rather stay home reading Proust? PG-13. NATHAN CARSON. Bridgeport, Cedar Hills, City Center, Clackamas, Division, Fox Tower, Lloyd, Tigard.

Zootopia

B Every dynamic, doe-eyed character in this animated adventure brings laughs for the kids, and hope for adults that their children won’t adopt Donald Trump ideals. There’s a lesson under every hoof, inside every snout, and behind every bubbly buttocks. PG. AMY WOLFE. Academy, Avalon, Empirical, Kennedy School, Valley, Vancouver.

For more Movies listings, visit

AN ODYSSEY: The Hollywood Theatre.

Happy 90th, Hollywood Theatre IT TOOK NINE DECADES, BUT THE HOLLYWOOD IS FINALLY GREAT.

BY A P KRYZA

apkryza@wweek.com

For the past 90 years, the Hollywood Theatre has been one of Northeast Portland’s most recognizable landmarks, the newly refurbished marquee and towers rising high above Sandy Boulevard.

The nonprofit Hollywood is a Cinderella story. It went from glorious movie palace to second-run shithole to under-attended art house over the course of nine decades, all before returning to its former glory as one of Portland’s most unabashedly beloved institutions.

The theater’s 90th birthday celebration kicks off this Friday with a 70 mm screening of Stanley Kubrick’s 2001: A Space Odyssey on the theater’s newly minted projector. The film was the first screened on the old-school 70 mm system, which the Hollywood is the only theater in the state and one of around 100 nationwide to use. The monthlong celebration takes full advantage of that, including 70 mm screenings of Lawrence of Arabia (July 8-10), West Side Story (July 15-17) and Aliens (July 15-17).

Legendary rock documentarian D.A. Pennebaker—himself 90 years old—will attend a double feature of the Bob Dylan classic Don’t Look Back and Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders From Mars (July 6), a retrospective of films featuring nonagenarian acting legend Harry Dean Stanton (Paris, Texas; Repo Man; Escape From New York), and much more.

But honestly, at this point, nearly every one-off screening is treated like a big event. A recent Zardoz (1974) screening sold out, and included a member of the audience dressed in Sean Connery’s trademark mankini. Kung Fu Theater—featuring 35 mm prints from programmer Dan Halsted’s personal stash—has a cult following of its own. Hecklevision, B-Movie Bingo and other audience-participation screenings are the norm, as are guest-curated series like Queer Horror and live-scored silent films on the antique organ. That’s to say nothing of the educational aspect of the nonprofit theater.

Not bad for a place that languished as a leaky, second-run theater in the ’70s and survived a stint as an art house specializing in Merchant Ivory fare. In the

past half-decade, the theater has revamped, restructured and rebuilt, and Portland is a better place for it.

“When we started off, we didn’t know what the hell we were doing. We were experimenting. We’re all movie geeks, so we’re creating a place people want to go,” says Doug Whyte, who has served as executive director since 2010, right about the time the theater started firing on all cylinders, retooling its programming and giving the building much-needed upgrades. “When I joined the board, I honestly didn’t want to go there that much, but I could see the potential.”

Whyte had his wish fulfilled tenfold. At 90, Portland’s iconic movie theater has become the great American movie house it has always had the potential to be: a destination for social events rather than solitary ones. Here’s to 90 more years.

SEE IT: The Hollywood’s 90th Anniversary starts with 2001: A Space Odyssey in 70 mm Friday-Sunday, July 1-3. hollywoodtheatre.org.

ALSO SHOWING:

Monty Python and the Holy Grail makes its courtordered quarterly return to Portland screens. Pix Pâtisserie. Dusk Wednesday, June 29.

University of Washington archaeologist Sarah Bibdon lectures prior to a screening of Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, but probably won’t actually disclose how many Nazis she’s killed in pursuit of fortune and glory. OMSI. 6:30 pm Wednesday, June 29.

Before he was Eric Bana. Before he was Mark Ruffalo.

Hell, before he inspired a wrestling racist to make a sex tape, the Hulk was a green-painted Lou Ferrigno, and Re-Run Theater has the “Prometheus” episode of the ’80s classic. Hollywood Theatre. 7:30 pm Wednesday, June 29.

Long after Last Tango in Paris shocked the world with its new application for butter, Bernado Bertolucci returned to steam up screens with The Dreamers, featuring Michael Pitt, Eva Green and a little brotherly love. 5th Avenue Cinema. 7 and 9:30 pm Friday-Saturday, 3 pm Sunday, July 1-3.

Blake Lively’s currently fending off a gigantic CGI shark in The Shallows. Luckily, Jaws is returning to screens to show her what she should really be afraid of. Mission Theater: Opens Thursday, June 30. Joy Cinema: Friday-Monday, July 1-4.

An outdoor screening of Apocalypse Now should be a surefire way to boost Cartopia sales of vegetarian fare… Cartopia. 9 pm Sunday, July 3.

Willamette Week JUNE 29, 2016 wweek.com

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LUCY HOBBS

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Musical Madness FUNHOUSE LOUNGE SENDS UP THE ANTI-MARIJUANA CAMP CLASSIC.

BY LAU R EN TER RY

Street P.21 50

Willamette Week JUNE 29, 2016 wweek.com

@LaurenYTerry

Since the release of the 1936 anti-cannabis propaganda film Reefer Madness, people have loved watching it while stoned. The film’s inane assumptions are hilarious on their own, with warnings of murderous, rape-y rage after a puff of what probably contained less than 1 percent THC at the time.

The film, originally titled Tell Your Children, was repackaged for the exploitation circuit as early as 1938, and then rediscovered in the ’70s.

In 1998, writer Kevin Murphy adapted the story of high school preps-turned-drug-dealing miscreants into a stage musical of the same name— now playing at Funhouse Lounge for the next four weekends in an enthusiastic production by director John Monteverde.

The story centers on star-crossed lovers Jimmy and Mary Lane (Sean Ryan Lamb and Lydia Fleming), whose innocent romance is torn asunder by the devil’s lettuce. The scene following Jimmy’s first puff is a laugh riot, the rest of the cast gyrating in grass skirts and chanting with bongo drums as he laughs maniacally. Costume designer Mandy Khoshnevisan elevates the show with a period-appropriate wardrobe and also plays the role of Mae—the guilty girlfriend of a pot pusher—with dramatic, Old World femininity.

The pot-crazed characters in Reefer are the worst imaginable human beings: torturing ani-

mals, groping their mothers, selling their own baby for weed. Cast members put their all into the over-the-top characters, and most of them can actually sing.

Reefer fits in perfectly with the decommissioned carnival vibe at the Funhouse, where you’re greeted with the face of a hundred leering clowns. The casual seating arrangements and multicolored spotlights put you in an appropriately trippy mindset for enjoying the punch line to the joke that is prohibition. I had prepared myself with a Cherry Kush spliff, which I warn will tempt you to order noisy chips and salsa from the bar next to the stage.

“This is not the Keller,” announced the emcee before the curtain parted on opening night. “Have fun, cheer, laugh out loud!” The audience is encouraged to interact with the story, gasp when Principal Carroll explains the risk of marijuana to your children, and holler a victory cry when innocent Mary Lane goes all dominatrix after her first puff of the stuff. The room explodes in giggles when Jesus (played by Doug Dean with a stoner-surfer angle) ambles onstage in a gold lamé loincloth to say, “Try taking a hit of God, Jimmy. Do you think you can handle the high?”

But fortunately, at the Funhouse, there’s no risk of anyone in the audience being too high for the room.

SEE IT: Reefer Madness: The Musical is at Funhouse Lounge, 2432 SE 11th Ave., funhouselounge.com. 7 pm Thursday-Saturday, through July 23. $25 advance, $30 at the door. Buy a Thursday ticket for a free drink at the show.

W W S TA F F

BY N AT E WAG G O N E R

Portland Sterilized by the Hospital

Cat and Girl

BY DR. MITCHELL MILLAR

2220 NW QUIMBY STREET, PORTLAND, OREGON

Most people would say that Oregon Health & Science University is a net positive for the city, as it provides some well-paying jobs and improves access to health care in the region. But I’m still angered that the Marquam Hill campus took the place of Piscotty Castle, the beautiful stone residence that used to adorn the West Hills.

When I was a boy, Piscotty Castle disappeared into the clouds in the winter and reflected the summer sun like a mirror, in direct opposition to Mount Hood in the east. For those of you who moved here after Admiral Piscotty was driven out of the city and Piscotty Castle was torn down, it was something to behold. No other city could claim anything like it.

There was a time when you would go to other cities in the region and see people wearing Piscotty Castle gift-shop T-shirts.

The Admiral himself was overall, I think, a good guy, though many people disagree with me on that point. If nothing else, it’s hard to argue that his presence was a good thing for the character of the city.

There was something always going on at that castle—helicopters constantly taking off and landing. “Ride of the Valkyries” blaring so loudly you could hear it on the Portland Territorial University or Lewis & Clark campuses. Late at night, cannon blasts from the castle would land in the river like skimming stones.

One morning, I remember waking up and looking at the castle only to find that one of the turrets had collapsed, causing massive white stones to tumble down the hillside. But here’s the thing: I have never heard of the Admiral or his castle being responsible for injuring anyone, so I’m willing to say that the good outweighed the bad with him. He provided us with excitement and some antics, something this condo-sterilized yuppie-hipster version of Portland is lacking.

Also, the OHSU campus is a terrible eyesore.

Dr. Mitchell Millar is president of the Olde Portland Preservation Society, which this weekend will hold a rally to oppose the redevelopment of the former Thunderbird Hotel at Jantzen Beach. The firegutted hotel is set to be replaced with a modernist monstrosity that would forever change the character of Historic Hayden Island.

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LOST CONGO AFRICAN GREY PARROT LOST Congo African Grey! Her name is Penelope (goes by P-bird), she’s 2years old, and was last seen in Troutdale (next to McMenamins Edgefield) on 6/13/16 @ 8:25pm. She left the house traveling SE, but with the weather, she could be anywhere in a 5-20 mile radius. She is hand tame and likes people. She responds to P-bird, whistling/clicking, and is a good flyer. Grey’s can eat on the ground, so she may not always be in the trees or rooftops.

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CHATLINES

JONESIN’

by Matt Jones

“You’re Getting Sleepy...”–relax with a nice puzzle.

58 Rabbits, e.g.

60 Baloney 63 Wild coffee shop where everyone’s had 10+ shots?

68 Cookie with the crossed lines from the Nabisco logo on it 69 Corrida snorter 70 Pasta-draining device 71 Lament 72 Swing to and fro 73 Floral emanation

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Across 1 FitBit unit 5 Somber 9 Carson City neighbor 13 Repelled a mugger, in a way 15 Really small amount 16 Have ___ (know somebody) 17 Vegetable designed to stick in your nose?

20 Legal term that means “directed against a thing” 21 Saigon soup 22 ‘90s General Motors brand

23 Former “Tonight Show” announcer Hall 25 Gift decoration 27 Film composer Danny 29 Official who sings in Hebrew 32 It’s hardly a snack for a steed 34 Candied tubers 35 Worst score ever from Salt Lake City’s team?

38 Large part of the globe 39 “Here Comes the Hotstepper” singer Kamoze

40 “___ Ruins Everything” (truTV show) 43 Places where you can only order sloe drinks?

47 Taj Mahal builder ___ Jahan 50 “___ tree falls...”

51 Add some sparkle to 52 Bothers 54 Smooth sax player Dave 56 Far from strict 57 Short-___ clothesline (wrestling move)

Down 1 Texting protocol initials 2 “Tic ___ Dough” (TV game show) 3 Spiny anteaters 4 Magician whose last name is Jillette 5 Whosamawhatsis 6 The New Yorker cartoonist Chast 7 “Break ___!”

8 Tool that’ll definitely hack it 9 Stereotypical cheerleader’s shout 10 Puzzlement 11 Start of a day shift, often 12 Burger toppers 14 Palme ___ (Cannes Film Festival award) 18 Alphabet book regular 19 Mustard’s rank: Abbr.

23 Old French coin 24 Facts and figures 26 Apple co-founder Steve 28 Existentialist Dostoyevsky 30 Chicken servings 31 California resort town near Santa Barbara

33 Comedian Ansari 36 ___ Davis (publishing conglomerate with an agreement to buy Gawker Media) 37 Bring down the house?

41 Investigated thoroughly 42 Physical beginning?

44 Simpletons 45 ___ : France :: “Swing kid” : Germany 46 “___ is an emotion in motion”: Mae West 47 Manatee or dugong 48 Zimbabwe’s capital 49 $2 to get $20, perhaps 53 “Hail!,” to Caesar 55 “Here we go again ...”

59 Bank makeup 61 The 40 in a “40,” for short 62 “South Pacific” Tony winner Pinza 64 Dandy guy 65 Chapter of history 66 Ab ___ (from the beginning) 67 “ ___ the ramparts ...”

last week’s answers

©2015 Jonesin’ Crosswords (editor@jonesincrosswords.com) For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle #JONZ786.

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Week of June 30

ARIES (March 21-April 19) During winter, some bears spend months hibernating.

Their body temperatures and heart rates drop. They breathe drowsily. Their movements are minimal. Many hummingbirds engage in a similar slow-down -- but they do it every single night. By day they are among the most manic creatures on earth, flapping their wings and gathering sustenance with heroic zeal. When the sun slips below the horizon, they rest with equal intensity. In my estimation, Aries, you don’t need a full-on immersion in idleness like the bears. But you’d benefit from a shorter stint, akin to the hummingbird’s period of dormancy.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20) “Dear Dr. Brezsny: A psychic predicted that sometime this year I will fall in love with a convenience store clerk who’s secretly a down-on-his-luck prince of a small African country. She said that he and I have a unique destiny. Together we will break the world’s record for dancing without getting bitten in a pit of cobras while drunk on absinthe on our honeymoon. But there’s a problem.

I didn’t have time to ask the psychic how I’ll meet my soulmate, and I can’t afford to pay $250 for another reading. Can you help? - Mopey Taurus.” Dear Mopey: The psychic lied. Neither she nor anyone else can see what the future will bring you. Why? Because what happens will be largely determined by your own actions. I suggest you celebrate this fact. It’s the perfect time to do so: July is Feed Your Willpower Month.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20) Of all the concert pianos in the world, 80 percent of them are made by Steinway. A former president of the company once remarked that in each piano, “243 taut strings exert a pull of 40,000 pounds on an iron frame.”

He said it was “proof that out of great tension may come great harmony.” That will be a potential talent of yours in the coming weeks, Gemini. Like a Steinway piano, you will have the power to turn tension into beauty. But will you actually accomplish this noble goal, or will your efforts be less melodious? It all depends on how much poised self-discipline you summon.

CANCER (June 21-July 22) Once upon a time, weren’t you the master builder who never finished building your castle? Weren’t you the exile who wandered aimlessly while fantasizing about the perfect sanctuary of the past or the sweet safety zone of the future? Didn’t you perversely nurture the ache that arose from your sense of not feeling at home in the world? I hope that by now you have renounced all of those kinky inclinations. If you haven’t, now would be an excellent time to do so. How might you reinvest the mojo that will be liberated by the demise of those bad habits?

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22) In accordance with the astrological omens, I have selected three aphorisms by poet James Richardson to guide you. Aphorism #1: “The worst helplessness is forgetting there is help.” My commentary: You have the power to avoid that fate. Start by identifying the sources of healing and assistance that are available to you. Aphorism #2: “You do not have to be a fire to keep one burning.” My commentary: Generate all the heat and light you can, yes, but don’t torch yourself. Aphorism #3: “Patience is not very different from courage. It just takes longer.” My commentary: But it may not take a whole lot longer.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) You may not know this, but I am the founder and CEO of Proud To Be Humble, an acclaimed organization devoted to minimizing vanity. It is my sworn duty to protest any ego that exceeds the acceptable limits as defined by the Geneva Convention on Narcissism. However, I now find myself conflicted. Because of the lyrical beauty and bighearted charisma that are currently emanating from your ego, I am unable, in good conscience, to ask you to tone yourself down. In fact, I hereby grant you a license to expand your self-love to unprecedented proportions. You may also feel free to unleash a series of lovely brags.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) The next 28 days will not be a favorable period to sit around passively wishing to be noticed. Nor will it be a good time to wait to be rescued or to trust in others to instigate desirable actions. On the other hand, it will be an excellent phase to be an initiator: to decide what needs to be done, to state your intentions concisely, and to carry out your master plan with alacrity and efficiency. To help ensure your success during the next 28 days, make this declaration each morning before breakfast: “I don’t want to OBSERVE the show. I want to BE the show.”

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) “In life, as in bicycling, pedal when you have to, coast when you can.” So says author James Lough, and now I’m passing on his advice to you -- just in time for your transition from the heavy-pedaling season to the coasting-is-fun phase. I suspect that at this juncture in your life story you may be a bit addicted to the heavy pedaling. You could be so accustomed to the intensity that you’re inclined to be suspicious of an opportunity to enjoy ease and grace. Don’t be like that. Accept the gift with innocent gratitude.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) “When a jet flies low overhead, every glass in the cupboard sings,” writes aphorist James Richardson. “Feelings are like that: choral, not single; mixed, never pure.”

That’s always true, but it will be intensely true for you in the coming weeks. I hope you can find a way to tolerate, even thrive on, the flood of ambiguous complexity. I hope you won’t chicken out and try to pretend that your feelings are one-dimensional and easily understandable. In my opinion, you are ripe to receive rich lessons in the beauty and power of mysterious emotions.

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CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) Pop artist Andy Warhol said that in the future, everyone would be famous for 15 minutes. His idea had a resonance with the phrase “nine days’ wonder,” which as far back as Elizabethan times referred to a person or event that captured the public’s fascination for a while. You Capricorns are entering a phase when you’re far more likely than usual to bask in the spotlight. Between now and September 2017, I bet you’ll garner at least a short burst of glory, acclaim, or stardom -- perhaps much more.

Are you ready for your close-up? Have you prepped for the influx of attention that may be coming your way?

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) One of my readers, Jay O’Dell, told me this story: “After my cancer surgery, a nurse said to me, ‘You may as well try magical thinking. Regular thinking hasn’t helped.’

I said to the nurse, ‘Well, why the hell not?’ That was seven years ago.” In bringing O’Dell’s testimony to your attention, I don’t mean to suggest you will have any health problems that warrant a strong dose of magical thinking. Not at all. But you may get wrapped up in a psychological twist or a spiritual riddle that would benefit from magical thinking. And what exactly is magical thinking? Here’s one definition: The stories that unfold in your imagination have important effects on what actually happens to you.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20) Let’s talk about X-factors and wild cards and strange attractors. By their very nature, they are unpredictable and ephemeral, even when they offer benevolent breakthroughs. So you may not even notice their arrival if you’re entranced by your expectations and stuck in your habitual ways. But here’s the good news, Pisces: Right now you are not unduly entranced by your expectations or stuck in your habits. Odds are high that you will spy the sweet twists of fate -- the X-factors and wild cards and strange attractors -- as they float into view.

You will pounce on them and put them to work while they’re still fresh. And then they will help you hike your ratings or get the funding you need or animate the kind of love that heals.

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