41 07 willamette week, december 17, 2014

P. 6 P. 25

P. 52

our annual voices issue wweek.com

VOL 41/07 12.17.2014

allison kerek

NEWS Targeting hip-hop clubs.

HEADOUT IRONY BEYOND SWEATERS. WEED PA BUTT TALKS SUGAR BOB.

2

Willamette Week DECEMBER 17, 2014 wweek.com

BRIANA CEREZO

FINDINGS

PagE 23

WHAT WE LEARNED FROM READING THIS WEEK’S PAPER VOL. 41, ISSUE 7.

A loyal Dr. Know reader has finally discovered the Hobo Pirates. 4 Central Catholic has one hell of a football program. 7

Vegan cheese is a huge driver of engagement on social media. 20 This paper’s fantasy football talent is concentrated on the bottom left side of this page. 24 If you want to eat a Rudolph, there is a place. 25

ON THE COVER:

A chubby Swedish teenager in a bucket hat is somehow the hot new thing in hip-hop. 32 If you want purple curly fries or shoestring Okinawas, there is a place. 39 Jay-Z borrowed a hook in 1998 and gave back a beat in 2014. 49

If you want to keep a spirit deer happy, give it coffee with lots of sugar. 52

OUR MOST TRAFFICKED STORY ONLINE THIS WEEK:

Illustration by allison kerek.

nike’s londonborn CiO quit after only eight months, reportedly because Portland is boring.

STAFF Editor-in-Chief Mark Zusman EditORial Managing Editor for News Brent Walth Arts & Culture Editor Martin Cizmar Staff Writers Nigel Jaquiss, Aaron Mesh, Beth Slovic Copy Chief Rob Fernas Copy Editors Matt Buckingham, James Yu Stage & Screen Editor Rebecca Jacobson Web & Projects Editor Matthew Korfhage Music Editor Matthew Singer Books Penelope Bass Dance Kaitie Todd

Visual Arts Richard Speer Editorial Interns Gabriella Dunn, Shannon Gormley, Parker Hall, Miller Resor, Dakota Smith COntRibutORs Nathan Carson, Rachel Graham Cody, Pete Cottell, Jordan Green, Jay Horton, AP Kryza, John Locanthi, Grace Stainback, Mark Stock PROduCtiOn Production Manager Dylan Serkin Art Director Kathleen Marie Special Sections Art Director Kristina Morris Graphic Designers Mitch Lillie, Xel Moore Production Intern Daniel Cole

Our mission: Provide Portlanders with an independent and irreverent understanding of how their worlds work so they can make a difference.

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Willamette Week DECEMBER 17, 2014 wweek.com

3

INBOX PROTESTING POLICE VIOLENCE

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Sustained disruption of the current system is the only way to create a new sustainable system [“Bring the Noise,” WW, Dec. 10, 2014]. Business as usual cannot and will not be allowed to continue.

Many people from different racial and cultural backgrounds are united to force changes in how the police and justice system serve us. We need to let the police and politicians know that the status quo isn’t working anymore. The police are supposed to serve and protect us all, but as history shows, they are only serving and protecting the moneyed interest of the 1 percent.

There needs to be a new paradigm that supports community policing by citizens, and that holds the police accountable. The pain of racial, class and economic oppression that has been inflicted on too many of us who aren’t wealthy white males must be felt by everyone before needed changes will take place.

—“Andre Middleton” Citizens criticizing their fellow citizens’ marches on public roads alternately amuse and annoy me.

Has it ever crossed their minds that it’s owning and driving a car that’s keeping them “blocked” on city streets? Bicyclists and pedestrians can always get by, even when the street’s being used by people marching for this important cause.

—“Nutella B” “But can they make a real difference?” I am so sick of this question. Everyone should turn this question onto themselves, or onto their communities at large. Of course they can make a difference, but they need your help.

—“daniel”

I’ve been noticing the same two houseboats anchored on the Willamette south of the Hawthorne Bridge since summer. Do they require any permits to reside there, or is it “anything goes”?

—Unmoored & Confused Show a little backbone, Unmoored. I’ve had the same two buzzards circling over my head since 2007, but you don’t hear me whining about it.

You will be relieved to learn there are indeed rules about when and where one can deploy an aquatic trailer park on the Willamette. Those rules are not always enforced, of course, but I like to think it’s the thought that counts.

Frankly, you’re lucky there are any rules at all. As recently as two years ago, the situation was much closer to the sort of Wild West, anything-goes scenario you’re describing: You could park your houseboat more or less anywhere, with the only stipulation being that you 4

Willamette Week DECEMBER 17, 2014 wweek.com

MODA’S CHEATING PRESIDENT

Unethical behavior is unbecoming of a health care provider. Unethical behavior for a president of a corporation who makes over $400,000 per year is unacceptable [“Medical Error,” WW, Dec. 10, 2014].

It makes shareholders and board members consider: What else has he falsified? Dr. William E. Johnson should resign. Or the Moda Health board should step up and kick him out.

Otherwise, Moda will come to mean Medicine Others Don’t Accept.

—“Peter Perlygates”

PROGRAM FOR MOMS IN PRISON

Why are they cutting this program?—$300,000 out of a $1.4 billion budget is pennies [“Hard Time Gets Harder,” WW, Dec. 10, 2014]. What are they leaving in place that could potentially be cut? What is the salary of the Department of Corrections brass? I’d love to see WW dig a little deeper on this.

—“Mary Christmas”

CORRECTIONS

A photograph of Dr. William E. Johnson (“Medical Error,” WW, Dec. 10, 2014) had an incorrect credit. The photograph came from Oregon Business. A story about ocean acidification (“Project Censored,” WW, Dec. 10, 2014) inaccurately identified a region affected. The Barents Sea is in the Arctic Ocean. WW regrets the errors.

LETTERS TO THE EDITOR must include the author’s street address and phone number for verification.

Letters must be 250 or fewer words.

Submit to: 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210.

Fax: (503) 243-1115. Email: mzusman@wweek.com.

had to move it after 14 days.

The de facto result was that aqua-squatters would sit in one spot for two weeks, weigh anchor for long enough to drift 10 or 12 feet downstream, and say, “See? We moved.” This would cause exclamation points of chagrin to form over the heads of the River Patrol, who would then turn toward the viewer and shrug comically.

Regulations adopted in 2013 allow you to hang out in one spot for 30 days, but after that you have to move along for at least five miles, and you can’t return to your original spot for a year.

Of course, as anyone who’s spent a winter watching moss grow on an abandoned station wagon parked directly in front of their house can tell you, just because there’s a rule against something doesn’t mean it never happens. Still, the next time you see those houseboats, feel free to give them a stern look. That’ll show ’em.

QUESTIONS? Send them to dr.know@wweek.com

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The review was sparked by ILLMACULATE a March incident in which Portland rapper Illmaculate stormed out of his show at the Blue Monk in protest of the heavy police presence (“Hip-Hop Stopped,” WW, March 12, 2014). The report says tensions between police and hip-hop artists have been amplified by a “lack of transparency” in the way the city conducts venue inspections. “One way to move the conversation beyond conflicting narratives of whether police are present at hip-hop events more often than other types of music events,” the review says, “is for there to [be] better documentation by PPB of the walk-throughs it does conduct.”

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EDUCATION: Central Catholic’s problem with problem coaches.

POLITICS: The title the first lady of Oregon doesn’t want.

CITY HALL: Illegal Uber drivers are not on the hook—yet.

VOICES: New Portlanders rant and rave about their adopted city.

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A Portland landmark is changing hands. London-based Taylor-Clark Inc. announced in September it wanted to sell the 150-room Heathman Hotel at 1001 SW Broadway. Although no deal has been announced, LaSalle Hotel Properties filed an application for a liquor license for the hotel Dec. 3. LaSalle is a publicly traded Maryland firm that owns 44 boutique hotels.

The sale price hasn’t been recorded with the county. Based on comparable sales, the number could be more than twice the Heathman’s $19 million assessed value. LaSalle officials did not return calls seeking comment.

The Oregon State Bar includes more than 40 sections of lawyers with expertise in civil rights, taxation, even admiralty law, just to name a few. Now, 50 Oregon lawyers have asked the bar to create a section for pot lawyers who advise clients on the emerging marijuana marketplace since voters approved a measure in November to legalize recreational weed. Last month, the bar began amending its code of professional conduct, allowing lawyers to advise clients on marijuana. “I can’t tell you how to break federal law,” says Leland Berger, a Portland lawyer who founded Oregon CannaBusiness Compliance Counsel. “But I can tell you how to comply with the state law.”

Kindred spirits of Give!Guide, be advised: Dec. 18 is the final Big Give Day of 2014. Sponsor Rogue Distillery is celebrating by hosting a party that night from 5 to midnight at the Green Dragon Bistro and Pub, 928 SE 9th Ave. Anyone who contributes to one of 136 local nonprofits or the Oregon Cultural Trust through GiveGuide.org on Dec. 18 will be entered to win a case of spirits from Rogue. G!G has so far raised more than $1.1 million and remains on pace to reach its goal of $2.6 million. To help get us there, don’t forget the McMenamins Challenge. McMenamins will give $1,000 in each of the eight G!G categories to the nonprofit receiving the highest number of donations from givers under 36.

Read more Murmurs and daily scuttlebutt.

GOT A GOOD TIP? CALL 503.445.1542, OR EMAIL NEWSHOUND@WWEEK.COM

Jerek Hollender

NEWS

IMPERFECT SEASON: Central Catholic High School’s football team (in red) won the 6A state championship Dec. 6. But two of its football coaches this season faced sexual misconduct allegations at previous schools. “We’re doing everything we can to adequately address this challenge,” Central Catholic President John Harrington says. “It is a priority. It is a foremost priority for me and all of us here.”

PERSONNEL FOUL CENTRAL CATHOLIC QUESTIONS ITS HIRING PRACTICES AS SEXUAL MISCONDUCT ALLEGATIONS SURFACE ABOUT ANOTHER FOOTBALL COACH.

By B E T H S L OV I C

bslovic@w week .com

When it comes to football, Central Catholic High School has a lot to cheer about.

The Rams—with a long tradition of winning—finished the season with 12 wins and just one loss while outscoring opponents by a 3-to-1 ratio. And on Dec. 6, Central Catholic crushed Tigard High School in the 6A championship 49-0—giving the Rams their second state title in a row.

Off the field, however,there’s plenty about the football team that Central Catholic doesn’t want to celebrate.

On Nov. 24, Central Catholic President John Harrington announced that the program’s freshman coach, Jay Wallace, would not return next year. Harrington made the announcement after WW reported Wallace had been fired from David Douglas High School in 1997 following allegations of sexual misconduct with a 17-yearold female student (“Off-Field Pursuits,” WW, Nov. 19, 2014). Harrington had been the David Douglas principal who investigated Wallace—but at Central Catholic kept Wallace in his coaching job.

WW has now learned that a second Central Catholic

football coach faced allegations of sexual misconduct with a student at a local public school.

In 2010, Portland police questioned the coach, Jon Taylor, after he exchanged sexually explicit text messages with a 19-year-old developmentally disabled student from the Parkrose School District in Northeast Portland.

Taylor worked at Parkrose as an educational aide.

According to a police report, Taylor told an officer he sent the texts, including a photo of his erect penis. Law enforcement officials didn’t charge Taylor, but he left Parkrose two days after the report.

Today, Taylor tells WW the allegations of misconduct are untrue. Taylor says the student sent him sexual messages but that he didn’t reciprocate. Told the police report includes an admission from him, Taylor says, “I’m not sure why they wrote that.”

Still, this second incident raises new questions about Central Catholic’s vetting of its football coaches—especially in light of the Catholic Church’s history with sexual misconduct and a pledge from the Portland archdiocese to protect children from abuse. It also points to statewide gaps in Oregon’s system for keeping tabs on coaches accused of such misconduct.

Harrington tells WW he was unaware of Taylor’s history at Parkrose. He said Central Catholic performed a background check in June 2010 before the school hired Taylor, and the report cleared him for employment. “To have potentially two issues just shocks me,” Harrington says.

Jim Mountain, chairman of Central Catholic’s board

of trustees, echoed Harrington’s unease. “We’re concerned about any reports of impropriety by our coaches, or our faculty or staff,” Mountain tells WW. “Particularly at Central, with its connection to the Catholic Church, we really take this stuff seriously.”

A parent of a Central Catholic football player—who declined to be identified out of fear her son would be ostracized—says she is disappointed by the school’s failure to tell parents about Wallace’s departure in November. She says that suggests Central Catholic would prefer to ignore what happened.

“These are the people who are teaching our children not only football but how to interact with the world,” she says. “I think the community needs to step forward and address the issue head on.”

Taylor, 50, was a football standout at Beaverton High School in the early 1980s who went on to play for the University of Nevada, Las Vegas. He coached the Parkrose High School football team from 2001 until the beginning of the 2003 season, when he was replaced after a few games. Taylor resigned as coach for reasons that were never made public.

Pa rk rose Super intendent Ka ren Fischer Gray declined to release Taylor’s personnel records, saying they are exempt from disclosure under the state’s public records law.

State law allows a public body to release a personnel file, and can require its release when “the public interest in disclosure outweighs the public employee’s interest in confidentiality,” according to the state’s public records manual.

Parkrose officials did confirm Taylor left the school district, where he had worked for 15 years, on March 12, 2010, two days after police questioned him.

On March 10, 2010, a woman reported that she had evidence Taylor and a Parkrose student had exchanged sexually explicit texts. According to the report, the cont. on page 8 Willamette Week DECEMBER 17, 2014 wweek.com

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fAc E b O O K

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Willamette Week DECEMBER 17, 2014 wweek.com

EDUCATION

wom a n w a s a n ex-g irlf r iend of Taylor’s who had d i s c o v er e d t he images on his old cellphone.

The investigating Por tla nd officer, Christopher Kulp, found that the Verizon L G phone c ont a i ne d 14 me sJon Taylor sages bet ween Taylor a nd a developmentally disabled student in a transition program at Parkrose. School officials said the student was 19 but functioned “on a seventhor eighth-grade level.” They also said Taylor worked with students in that program.

The messages included a photo of an erect penis sent from Taylor’s phone to the student, and images of a vagina sent from the student’s phone to Taylor.

According to the report, Taylor asked the student not to tell anyone about the photos, but then told her she was “cute” and that he wanted to see “the whole thing.”

“How about a new picture so I can see more,” Taylor wrote in one text message, according to Kulp’s report. “I like it.”

When confronted by the police officer, Taylor admitted sending the texts and the photo of his penis.

“Stupid, so stupid,” the report quotes Taylor as saying. “I knew as soon as I hit send I made a huge mistake.”

The officer found no evidence that Taylor had exchanged sexual messages with the student when she was under 18, which would have made the act a felony.

When the officer contacted the student, she admitted sending the texts and sharing the images with Taylor. She told Kulp she and Taylor had never had any sexual contact in person, something Taylor had also said during his police interview.

“I asked [her] if Jon had sent her a picture of his penis,” the officer wrote. “[She] kinda laughed and said ‘yes.’ I asked her if she sent a picture of her vagina to Jon. [She] first said, ‘no,’ but then said ‘yes.’ I asked her why they were doing this. [She] said ‘I don’t know, fun.’”

The officer bagged Taylor’s phone as evidence and referred the report to senior officers and the Multnomah County District Attorney’s Office.

Senior deputy district attorney Travis Sewell says the DA’s office never received a copy of the report. That might have been because the young woman was legally an adult at the time and Portland police may have determined no crime had occurred, says Portland police spokesman Sgt. Pete Simpson.

Simpson also says records show the report also went to Multnomah County’s Developmental Disabilities Office for a possible abuse investigation. County spokeswoman Julie Sullivan-Springhetti says she couldn’t confirm whether the county received the report, or if there had been an investigation.

Taylor says he wasn’t fired by Parkrose but instead resigned to protect his family. He says the district faulted him for failing to report receiving the texts. “There was nothing legally I did wrong,” he says. “From the school’s point of view, I didn’t make the right decision in not reporting it.”

Taylor joined Central Catholic’s program

as a defensive line coach in summer 2010, just months after leaving Parkrose. He coached the varsity and junior varsity defensive lines during the championship-winning 2014 season, according to the school’s website.

Harrington says Taylor underwent Central Catholic’s standard background check, which means his name and Social Security number went to an outside company for vetting. He says it turned up nothing about the allegations at Parkrose.

Harrington says Central Catholic has made changes since Taylor’s hiring. On July 1, 2010, the Oregon Legislature required schools to seek employment records from schools where a job applicant previously worked. Oregon schools are now required to disclose all “substantiated” abuse claims or ongoing investigations of abuse claims. Harrington says Central Catholic now seeks that information for all new hires.

The Archdiocese of Portland strengthened its background checks of employees in August, requiring for the first time that employees resubmit to background checks every three years. Before the change, employees underwent

“STUPID, SO STUPID. I KNEW AS SOON AS I HIT SEND I MADE A HUGE MISTAKE.” —JON TAYLOR, ACCORDING TO A POLICE REPORT background checks only when they were hired or switched positions, says Cathy Shannon, director of the archdiocese’s Office of Child Protection/Victim Assistance.

But the system for checking coaches’ criminal histories still isn’t perfect. The background checks pull up arrests and convictions, but they don’t reveal accusations that aren’t prosecuted, Shannon says.

Oregon does a better job keeping tabs on teachers than coaches.

The Teacher Standards and Practices Commission, the state agency that oversees teachers in public and private schools, can revoke the license of a teacher who sexually abuses a student even if no criminal charges are brought, says Vickie Chamberlain, the agency’s executive director. The agency can also enter disciplined teachers’ names in a national database, flagging them in case they try to seek jobs elsewhere. (As an education aide, Taylor was not licensed by the state.)

No such system exists for coaches, who aren’t required to obtain teaching licenses. The Oregon School Activities Association certifies all coaches in the state, but certification deals with training, not criminal background checks, says Brad Garrett, assistant executive director of OSAA. Neither Taylor nor Wallace, the other Central Catholic coach under scrutiny, has faced new allegations while at the school.

Peter Janci, a Portland lawyer with O’Donnell Clark & Crew who has brought sex-abuse cases against the Catholic Church, says Central Catholic parents should demand that more is done to protect kids.

“It’s very, very concerning to hear about multiple staff members having this type of background at the same institution in 2014,” Janci says. “It sounds like there’s a lot of work to be done.”

Willamette Week DECEMBER 17, 2014 wweek.com

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NEWS

POLITICS

NEW DOCUMENTS SHOW WHY FIRST LADY CYLVIA HAYES IS SUBJECT TO OREGON’S ETHICS LAWS.

BY NIG E L JAQ UI SS

njaquiss@wweek.com

Cylvia Hayes has garnered many titles in her career. She is CEO of her consulting business, 3E Strategies. She has carried the designation of adviser to her fiance, Gov. John Kitzhaber. A nd she’s best known as first lady of Oregon.

But right now there’s one title Hayes, who declined to comment for this story, is trying to avoid—that of “public official” as defined by state law.

That might seem a trivial distinction.

It’s not.

The allegations of wrongdoing against Hayes—that she used her position in the governor’s office to enrich herself by $85,000—could turn on whether she fits that legal definition.

Following WW’s initial stories about her actions (“First Lady Inc.,” WW, Oct. 8, 2014), Hayes faces a possible investigation by the Oregon Government Ethics Commission. Only people defined as public officials are subject to state ethics laws.

Hayes could get out from under that

HAYES SAYS HER DUTIES AS FIRST LADY INCLUDED “LEADING A STATE OF OREGON TRADE MISSION TO GHANGZHOU CHINA.” investigation in a hurry if she can convince the ethics commission she never qualified as a public official.

But records recently released to WW by the governor’s office strengthen the case that Hayes was not only a public official, as defined by law, but someone who sought

increasing clout and authority in Kitzhaber’s administration.

Her e ’s ev idence f rom t he newly released documents—as well as previously disclosed records—that the ethics commission is likely to weigh as it determines whether to investigate Hayes: Hayes ran a state program. The title of first lady is not defined in state law, and Hayes was never paid for her work on behalf of the state.

That hardly matters. According to the ethics commission’s 2010 guidebook, a public official includes anyone who is “an unpaid volunteer for a state, county or city agency or special district [or] anyone serving the State of Oregon or any of its political subdivisions.”

Hayes has her own official page on the state’s website, uses the Oregon state seal in her correspondence, and refers in that correspondence to the “office of the first lady.”

She also runs a major Kitzhaber program, the Oregon Prosperity Initiative, dedicated to, according to a now-deleted Web page, “overcoming poverty and empowering citizens to maximize their potential.”

As part of that initiative, Hayes worked closely with Kitzhaber’s staff and convened meetings among leaders of nonprofit organizations and state officials. As the records released last week show, she frequently traveled the country representing Kitzhaber and the state of Oregon while giving speeches in California, Louisiana, Minnesota and New York.

The state paid for Hayes to travel on official business. The records show the state routinely reimbursed Hayes for travel she characterized as official state trips for her, not just as Kitzhaber’s companion.

The documents released last week show Hayes sought $8,334 in state reimbursement on 19 separate expense forms for official travel. Records show that in August, Hayes traveled to Seattle with a security officer from the Oregon State Police dignitary protection unit to meet with Washing-

OREGON.GOV

TITLE FIGHT OFFICIAL BUSINESS: One way first lady Cylvia Hayes can avoid investigation by the Oregon Government Ethics Commission is convincing the panel she never met the legal definition of “public official.”

ton Gov. Jay Inslee and his wife, Trudi.

Other out-of-state travel paid for by taxpayers included a $2,413 trip in February 2012 to Washington, D.C., for a meeting of the National Governors Association.

Hayes filled out the conference registration form to say she was “representing: state of Oregon.”

Her taxpayer-paid travel also included a $1,475 trip to New Orleans in May for the Association for Enterprise Opportunity’s national conference, where she represented the state on a panel that discussed the “power of microbusiness.”

Hayes routinely directed state officials. Since Kitzhaber took office in January 2011, Hayes has joined in senior staff meetings, met regularly with top state officials and, in her own words, served as “a policy advisor to the Governor on the issues of clean energy and economic development.”

On the website of her consulting fi rm, Bend-based 3E Strategies, Hayes says her duties as first lady included “leading a State of Oregon trade mission to Ghangzhou China.”

The records show that on June 24, 2013, while visiting family in Oklahoma, Hayes sent Kitzhaber’s official energy adviser, Margi Hoffmann, orders for a

reception that night to mark the end of the legislative session. Hayes could not be there, but she told Hoffmann to speak for her. Her directions demonstrated that Hayes considered herself a key player in policy and legislative debates.

“Margi, I would suggest you make a few comments in my stead (but obviously in your voice and perspective),” Hayes wrote.

“Might be good for you to sum up all our successes this session and thank the advocates for all their help.”

Kitzhaber’s own lawyer considered Hayes a public official. Records show the governor’s general counsel, Liani Reeves, repeatedly tried to get Hayes to follow ethics rules that govern public officials.

But more recently, Kitzhaber has tried to cast doubt on the nature of Hayes’ role. He directed Reeves to send a letter to the ethics commission Oct. 13 asking whether Hayes really fit the definition of public official.

In that same letter, however, Reeves acknowledged there had previously been no doubt about her role before questions surrounding Hayes’ private dealings had been made public.

“Over the past three-and-a-half years,” Reeves wrote, “the Governor’s office has treated Cylvia Hayes in her first lady role as a ‘public official.’”

WWEEK.COM MOBILE SITE

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• BREAKING NEWS • GEO-LOCATING BAR AND RESTAURANT REVIEWS • CITY GUIDES

WILLIE WEED P.G. 52

Willamette Week DECEMBER 17, 2014 wweek.com

11

CITY HALL CHRISTOPHER ONSTOTT

NEWS

FAST GETAWAY: Uber driver Robert Schultz ferries a passenger through Portland on Dec. 15. Schultz started driving for the ride-sharing company last week, days after it launched its service in defiance of City Hall.

DRIVERS, WANTED THE CITY CAN’T BACK UP ITS TOUGH TALK ABOUT CRACKING DOWN ON UBER.

BY AA R ON MESH

amesh@wweek.com

It’s been nearly two weeks since Uber invaded Portland with a ride-sharing service that defies the city’s taxi rules.

Portland officials pledged to take Uber to court, levy hefty fines and impound the cars Uber drivers use as unlicensed cabs.

Cit y Commissioner Steve Nov ick, who oversees transportation, told The Oregonian he intended to “throw the book” at Uber.

It turns out the book lacks the heft of Infinite Jest. It’s more like Golden Books’ The Poky Little Puppy.

The city has yet to tow a single Uber car or fine a single driver.

“It would be really helpful,” says Frank Dufay, the city’s private for-hire transportation manager, “even if we just towed a few—two, one—just to show we’re serious about this.”

But officials have struggled to identify drivers—they’ve been able to do so in only three cases—and discovered they may lack the legal authority to put U ber cars on a hook and impound them.

Portland officials fined the San Francisco company $67,750 in its fi rst 10 days in town, as first reported on wweek.com. It’s not clear the city can make those fi nes stick, however, given that Uber claims it merely matches drivers with riders—and as a result the company itself isn’t breaking any rules.

“It has been difficult,” acknowledges Novick policy adviser Bryan Hockaday. “We will start fining drivers this week, without any more warnings.”

Uber, the 5-year-old startup now valued at $40 billion, has been trying for nearly two years to bring Portland its service, which lets drivers turn their cars into taxis that customers summon with a tap of their smartphones.

The city turned away Uber in 2013, and has said the company doesn’t live up to the long12

Willamette Week DECEMBER 17, 2014 wweek.com

held standards for taxis in Portland by not guaranteeing commercial insurance for its drivers, rides for disabled customers and a set schedule of fares. (Uber’s “surge pricing” charges customers more during peak hours.)

Novick and other city officials have said they would consider changing some rules to accommodate Uber.

But Uber decided not to wait and launched in Portland on Dec. 5.

City officials have run what amount to stings—summoning Uber drivers and lev ying fi nes when they arrive. The city has sent 16 fi nes to Uber. Fines started at $1,500, but have since gone up to $5,000 for each violation. City officials have sent warnings to the three drivers they have identified.

“It’s hard,” Dufay says of efforts to identify drivers. “When they tell you the car’s coming, all you’ve got is the driver’s first name and the license plate.”

Towing Uber drivers’ cars worked as a deterrent in Nevada, where state officials fighting Uber impounded nearly 50 vehicles this fall until a judge’s order blocked the company.

But Portland deputy city attorney David Woboril has advised Novick’s office that towing vehicles used for Uber could violate drivers’ constitutional rights.

A 2005 decision by the 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals found that the Oregon city of Cornelius violated the rights of a woman who had her car impounded for driving without a license. The court ruled that police could only impound cars if the vehicle posed “a threat to public safety.”

“Since that case, nobody has been able to tow based on driver’s behavior—the car itself must pose a threat to safety,” Woboril says. “It radically changed the landscape. Portland was towing cars right and left before that.”

Uber has pledged to keep operating in Portland, and to pay any fines its drivers face.

“In the event that a driver was fi ned or their car was impounded,” Uber general manager Brooke Steger tells WW, “we would stand behind that driver 100 percent.”

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“When you erect the fence to keep Californians out, can I have a special dispensation pass?"

Comedian Greg Proops looked so painfully Californian as he asked a Portland audience that question a few weeks ago. They cheered unanimously. The besuited, hyper-liberal, fluffy-haired, vodka-buzzed Proops could stay.

Phew. Like so many of my brothers and sisters from the south, I was lucky enough to make it into Oregon pre-fence, recently celebrating my second anniversary of living in Portland.

And I really love it here. Sort of.

I love Portland—SORT OF. Why does that caveat fi ll me with such shame and fear?

I can already hear the choir of commenters singing that old familiar tune: “Go back to where you came from! Go Ducks!”

Show me a diehard native of another city—a lady who tattooed the downtown skyline across her shoulder blades or a guy who named his firstborn after a street—and I will show you a list of his or her complaints about that city. And yet I am afraid to bring up even my most valid gripes about Portland in social situations. I get it. You cram a bunch of new people into a small place over a short period of time, and the mood gets a little…tense.

I do not, by any means, seek to trivialize the damage that explosive growth can do to working-class citizens, communities of color and beloved locally owned businesses. Those pieces of a city aren’t characters on Portlandia. They are real and deserving of existence, and they’re being threatened in my own hometown as well.

But, at least once a week, I hear someone say, “Damn Californians!” I hear it when a business closes, when there’s

a traffic jam, when Uber moves in. And yet, watching from my newcomer bench as Oakland native Damian Lillard’s 3-pointer sailed in at the buzzer last May, I heard not a peep about where he was from.

“Amy, wait! Sports are different! Teams are fluid in nature! We adopt the players as our own and nurture their local contributions temporarily, only to memorialize them when they move on!”

True, not all Portland newcomers are Blazers.

Maybe we aren’t hitting 3-pointers, but if you read on, you’ll meet some people who are here to contribute to music, to communities of color, to your health, to animal rights, to making you laugh, to feeding you, to making your radio smarter. For this year's version of our annual Voices issue, we talked to people who are doing those things, and doing them well.

Only about 40 percent of people who live in the Portland metro area were born in Oregon, with another 10 percent born in Washington, according to the U.S. Census Bureau. The other half of us came from elsewhere, ranking Portland a transplant mecca on par with Phoenix, Miami and Denver, and with a healthy lead on the rest of the West Coast.

We are not all Californian. We are from Tennessee, Texas, Montana and weird parts of California that don’t even really count as California. We are not wealthy, and we are not buying condos in the building where your favorite Chinese restaurant/karaoke joint used to be. Some of us have also been displaced by harsh economic realities.

If we promise to keep working to make Portland a better place for everyone (because it is not perfect), can we have a pass when the fence goes up?

—Amy Miller

Willamette Week DECEMBER 17, 2014 wweek.com

15

TRANSPLANTS

CONT. CAMERON BROWNE

Intisar Abioto Photographer and founder of the Black Portlanders Origin: Memphis, Tenn.

Intisar Abioto has a familiar look in her eye. It’s a look I’ve been seeing—this week, this month, this year—in the eyes of the black and brown people in my life. A look of exhaustion, hopelessness, anger, bewilderment. It is a look that is profoundly specific to this space and time, to this inescapable barrage of murder without consequence.

In the past few years, Abioto has become well-known for her photo project, the Black Portlanders blog, and through that a reluctant spokeswoman for the black community of Portland. A respected photographer, she’s also a writer, dancer, lecturer and choreographer.

The product of a family of female artists, Abioto, 28, moved to Portland nearly a decade ago with her sisters and mother.

When we meet, I get the feeling she needs a break from being interviewed. Beneath a thick layer of Southern charm and a sort of addictively open radiance, she’s got the look. We talk about what’s next for her project and why a photo of a Portland police officer hugging a black child means exactly nothing.

WW: I keep hearing your name—you seem to be involved in a lot of things.

How are you doing?

Intisar Abioto: I miss home right now.

Sometimes, you just need some grounding. In Memphis, things are grittier and harsher. That can also be not so good, but it can be more truthful. I just feel kinda crazy, honestly. I’m in emotional turmoil.

These things change you and how you present in the world, how you are. I’m generally pretty bubbly and have a lot of energy. But I feel so somber and angry.

And I don’t wanna downplay that.

You shouldn’t have to.

When the news about Darren Wilson came down, I felt ill. The state of black people’s lives hasn’t really improved markedly in the recent past. I want change. And the thing about Black Portlanders is I’ve really been having some turmoil, just really thinking about what it actually is, and does, and what it needs to do now.

So where do you go when you need peace and you can’t go home?

I love Mount Tabor. I’m fond of Fly Awake Tea Garden.

What are some of your least favorite things about Portland?

Aw, man, I just hate the ingrained antiblackness. It’s so much a part of this city’s 16

Willamette Week DECEMBER 17, 2014 wweek.com

planning and geography, you don’t even see it unless you are looking for what you don’t see. You don’t see it, unless you feel it. One of my very least favorite things is the lack of forward-facing brick-and-mortar businesses of people of color. And that, historically, is a part of this city’s planning and geography, as well. Williams Avenue, and on and on, into the present.

Did the fact that some Portland cops publicly supported Darren Wilson make you feel unsafe in your own town?

People have been feeling unsafe all along.

It’s not just black boys or black men, it’s also black women. We are all more vulnerable to state-sanctioned violence. This town loves itself and its principles. It’s also very self-critical, but in circular ways.

Of course we are largely educated, but we talk around ourselves. I’m sick of talking!

You can’t keep doing the same thing when the places around you aren’t evolving.

As a photographer, what did you think about The Oregonian’s photo of the police officer and the child hugging?

A photograph is a stamp—it’s just one moment. We can take a moral from a photograph and try to apply it to life, but in this case people took that image and interpreted it as “we can hug it out,” and they saw what they wanted to see in it. I don’t want people to be distracted. A cop in St. Louis or Portland represents a system. Whether or not Darren Wilson was indicted, there are the same cops all over America. It’s both the interpersonal and the systemic and institutional change. Not just hugging a cop.

Is that partially why you’re re-examining what Black Portlanders means in the current state of black lives?

Photographs are my medium, but I also know that a photograph is not reality. It’s a rendering of reality. It sources from reality, but it’s still an art form. I don’t want to take pictures of us for posterity when our communities are suffering. Three hundred years ago, my physical body would have been capital. Black bodies had insurance taken out on them. They were a value system. And now, we’re still being valued in a whole host of ways, and devalued in others.

“IF I WAS IN ANOTHER CITY,

I WOULD BE DOING THE SAME WORK. I’M NOT FROM HERE AND I KNOW THERE CAN BE

A SCHISM BETWEEN ME AND PEOPLE WHO ARE FROM

HERE, AND THAT’S VALID.” What would happen if black artists, musicians and athletes got outraged enough to say, “I’m not gonna give you what you want from our culture until you value my life”?

That’s really interesting, and I know there are black artists who have done that in very specific ways. During the civil rights movement, black musicians would refuse to play in certain venues where black peo-

ple weren’t allowed. I have to create to live, on an intrinsically spiritual level. Black cultures, black presence—we renew things with spirit and soul and activity. We bring things back to the light from dark places.

From cold places. We’re very unique.

Does the Black Portlanders project help the people of Portland get closer to the humanity of your subjects?

We don’t have to be validated in the eyes of a greater Portland to be here. We validate ourselves by virtue of our own existence.

It’s a work for black people’s spirits, for our souls. It’s saying we’re here, we’re alive, we’re beautiful, we’re complex. That love, that passion, that inner bravado is what I love about it.

And I hesitate on this question of being humanized. There’s this onus on black people to humanize ourselves to others.

There’s an onus on us to make ourselves real. To save our own asses? Fuck that.

What’s your response to someone who says: “We don’t want any more people moving to Portland. We don’t need any change. We want to keep our rent low”?

I’m from Memphis and I live here, but I also live on the earth, and I consider myself a part of a global African diaspora.

We are connected by a pulse. If I was in another city, I would be doing the same work. I’m not from here and I know there can be a schism between me and people who are from here, and that’s valid. I just know the work I have to do, and I hope it’s all right.

CONT.

Weekend morning host for OPB Origin: Lemon Grove, Calif.

Fact: Straight Talk starring Dolly Parton is one of the greatest films of all time.

For those unfamiliar, Parton plays Dr. Shirlee, a call-in radio host who wins the hearts of Chicagoans with her firm but loving advice and catalog of adorable colloquialisms, such as “Get down off the cross, honey, somebody needs the wood!”

Eventually, listeners learn that Shirlee is a fake doctor. No one cares—all they wanted was her real talk. She gets to keep her job and her new romance with James Woods—considered a handsome love interest back in 1992.

John Sepulvado, 35, is a young man, but a veteran of radio. With stints at CNN, PRI and KNPR, and contributions to countless other stations, including Portland’s own OPB and fledgling startup XRAY.fm, his résumé actually reads like someone rattling off call letters at the end of a syndicated show.

L i ke Sh i rlee Kenyon , S epu lv ado believes what Portlanders want most from the media is honesty, relatability, and well-told stories, and he came here to make that happen. Only a few months in, he’s already, as Dr. Shirlee would say, “busier than a one-legged man in a buttkickin’ contest.”

WW: It seems like you got to town and immediately started trying to fix things in Portland radio. Where does that motivation come from?

John Sepulvado: I love my mom and my siblings, but I grew up in an environment that was super-dysfunctional. And so I am constantly trying to put order into things.

I’ve lived a chaotic life, but in the present I need things to be in order.

How’s it going so far creating order in Portland?

Portland is the best place I’ve lived. I’ve lived in 17 cities in about 20 years, because of radio work. I have a little bit of wanderlust in me. I’ve moved a lot, but I’ve never felt like I needed to settle in a place. And

CAMERON BROWNE

John Sepulvado

TRANSPLANTS

I feel that here. I’ve never met so many creative, energetic people concentrated in one place in my entire life. It’s really nice not feeling like a weirdo because you think about things differently.

What specifically do you love about Portland?

I love the people. They’re friendly and open to new ideas. My experience is that people are down to try new projects. The layout of the city is also pretty killer. I can get around easily without a car, which is helpful. And it’s gorgeous here. Green and clean. You can’t beat that.

Any favorite places?

I head to Mount Tabor on the weekends. I saw those sparrows go down the chimney, and that was killer. I need to go to a Blazers game already. And there’s that park that overlooks the train tracks, on the cliffs, the bluffs. I caught a secondhand high there, and that was fun.

“IT’S NICE NOT FEELING

Have you noticed anything about the radio landscape specific to Portland compared to other markets?

YOU THINK ABOUT THINGS

Portland is hungry for genuine media interaction. They want something better.

The other day, I was researching Pandora.

I was trying to find a journalist who had written about their algorithm. I found an article that was pretty good, and went to look for the author. But there was no author. It was an algorithm. An algorithm writing about an algorithm. That’s where we’re at right now. When somebody says, “Where’s the personality?” that’s the way media is going. The whole point of journalism and storytelling is one person talking to another person about people. And we’re moving toward an era where that doesn’t happen.

LIKE A WEIRDO BECAUSE DIFFERENTLY.”

So what do you hate?

The lack of diversity is disappointing.

Many of the historical reasons that have pushed people of color to the fringes of the city...it sucks. My car got stolen. I hated that shit. The police told me everyone was getting their car stolen, and I remember thinking, “Y’all should really do something about that...” And I wish the coast was closer.

What creative goals have you set for yourself here?

I’m really interested in finding ways to help people express themselves. I want to be able to teach people how they can do radio, journalism or broadcasting in a way that’s good. At the end of the day, I want to help people tell their story.

And you think Portland is hungrier for that authenticity?

One of the things I do see a lot—not just in Portland, but around the country—is there’s this belief that corporate media is programming stuff in cahoots with companies or the government. I don’t see that.

The problem with corporate media is that it’s lazy. It is intellectually lazy, it’s physically lazy. They don’t like to leave their desks. They’d rather just monitor Twitter.

They wanna recycle what they already think they know because it’s easy.

And once they find the right audience, that recycled model can just keep making money.

Right, but the audiences are dwindling.

The thing I’m most excited about in Portland is I think there’s a chance here to do what I do in a different way and be able to be daring and exciting, because most places don’t want to piss anybody off. And Portland seems hungry for being OK with pissing people off.

How do you gauge response? How do you know if you’re making good radio?

Nobody ever calls me unless it’s really bad. Nobody ever lets me know they like it. I just put it out there and hope for the best. Radio is like putting a message onto a helium balloon and hoping somebody gets some value out of that message.

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17

TRANSPLANTS

CONT. CAMERON BROWNE

Jason Lytle Lead singer of Grandaddy

Origin: Bozeman, Mont., via Modesto, Calif.

Jason Lytle seemed reluctant to leave his Northeast Portland neighborhood to meet me. He likes to stay on the edge of town, near an “escape hatch” back to the wild. Maybe it was no coincidence that we ended up meeting at Wilder bar off Northeast Killingsworth Street.

As the lead singer of Modesto indie band Grandaddy, Lytle, 45, was a staple voice in my teenage musical universe, representing the sound of small-town malaise. He was a sort of mascot for those of us familiar with the doldrums of California’s Central Valley, a place that stays both literally and figuratively very dry.

He’s traded up to a moister town—and gone through a divorce since arriving here last year—but says he has no interest in becoming a permanent part of the local landscape.

WW: What are you doing in Portland?

Jason Lytle: I was in Montana for eight years, with the same girl this whole time.

She was there through all the Grandaddy stuff. We finally got married, three years ago. We needed to give living in the city a fair shake. I was just like, “Yeah, Portland.

Fuck it, let’s do it.” I adjusted well, and she kind of went the opposite direction. I feel like the words “fuck it, let’s do it” come before a lot of moves to Portland.

It was natural for me on a lot of fronts.

I’m super into biking. There’s studios, musicians, friends here. It was kind of a no-brainer. But I didn’t do that thing like, “Hey, guess who’s in town now!” No interest in playing shows, no interest in muscling my way into any kind of scene. I set up my studio six months ago and I was trying to come up with a name that symbolizes this new chapter. What I settled on was “Coyote.” That’s my approach. I’m just slinking from one dumpster to the next. I’m here, and then I’ll be gone.

Have you felt welcomed by Portlanders?

It helps that I don’t give a shit. In Montana, I’d be at some bar and there’d be some oldtimers rattling on, six beers deep, like, “These goddamned Californians!” But the place I was living in had this perfect blend of modernization and color and influx of culture, and it was a really well-rounded town—Bozeman, Mont. That’s what makes places.

Everyone flocks to the good places. And everyone who lives in the good places, out of pride, likes to complain how everyone’s flocking to their good places. Maybe 70 percent of them are just clogging toilets 18

Willamette Week DECEMBER 17, 2014 wweek.com

and logjammin’ the roads, but there’s a good chance 30 percent of them really should be here. A lot of the time the people who are the most nutted up about this stuff just haven’t been anywhere else.

I honestly feel that because of my love for the outdoors, because of my in-depth involvement with recording and playing music, and because I’m an avid cyclist, Portland is a good place for me.

Anything you don’t like about it?

Wet, soggy, dampness, moisture, mold, and too many great drinking establishments to challenge my willpower.

Do you really have plans to stop playing music?

My life is a lot more enjoyable when I don’t play shows. It’s really disruptive to all the other stuff that I really love. Performing in general can be so exhausting for a solitary person. You’re giving your energy away to other people every single night. It’s the worst part of it. The Neil Youngs and the Willie Nelsons of the world can play a show, give it to the people, and then be ushered directly onto a tour bus. I would make so much more money if I hung out at the merch booth. I can’t. It destroys me.

So if you could feasibly do a Neil Young exit, would you still play shows?

I don’t know. All the anxiety and the worry beforehand, that’s what does a number on me. Except for that 45 minutes where you’re just walking the tightrope, all the stuff that leads up to it is kinda not worth it. My dream situation would have been

“EVERYONE FLOCKS TO THE GOOD PLACES. AND

EVERYONE WHO LIVES IN THE GOOD PLACES, OUT OF

PRIDE, LIKES TO COMPLAIN HOW EVERYONE’S FLOCKING TO THEIR GOOD PLACES.”

to make records and not tour, but it’s not really a reality.

Now that you’re single, you could get into all kinds of freaky shit on tour. Or in Portland, really. I predict that you’ll be polyamorous by 2016.

The whole appeal of being married and stable was not having to open those doors.

I don’t even know what polyamorous means.

It’s having multiple partners and multiple significant emotional relationships without exclusivity or traditional labels.

That sounds like a fucking nightmare. So these guys have no lives or what? I feel like I’m trying to save all my power for my work. How do you have anything left if you’re just spending it like that? God. How did your hometown shape your music?

My dad was in the grocery business—produce guy. My mom divorced him when I was 5, and she just kinda went off and went to find herself. She’s awesome and I love her, but I ended up with my dad. We lived in all these little Central Valley towns.

T y pica l BM X-riding , soccer-play ing culs-de-sac. The key to this whole story, though, is my dad remarried my stepmom.

My stepmom used to work at a radio station, and the radio station had just shut down, so all the people who were working there took all the records. Crucial point in my life: I get a new stepmom and she has this collection of like 200 albums. And we lived out in the country, and I was kind of an introverted kid, just sitting around kickin’ the can, and then these records came along.

Sounds similar to where you are in your life now. So what’s the next box of records, so to speak?

I’m there already. The last two months have been super-intense a nd rea lly tough. I moved my studio into the house, like a midlife crisis. “I’m puttin’ a damn recording studio in my living room!” I’m in the middle of a project I’m really in love with. I’m helping to produce Band of Horses’ new record. And as soon as that mellows out a little bit, I’m gonna go headlong into a new Grandaddy record.

And it’s gonna kinda be my bookend. It’s gonna round the whole journey out. And then I think I’m done with the whole public thing. Living in Portland is gonna be my big last statement. Sometimes I see Portland like going to the Antarctic station to collect data and get my focus on.

I’ll get some good results, and then I’ll be done.

CONT.

TRANSPLANTS

ALLISON KEREK

REHEATED MEAT

SLICES FROM AMY MILLER’S FRESH MEAT COLUMN ON WWEEK.COM.

Johanna Ware

Chef and owner of Smallwares, originally from Chicago, on Portland’s friendly but slow service industry…

“Anybody who moves to Portland who moved from a big city is going to complain about the pace. I’m an impatient person. Go to the Asian market, Fubonn, and watch the checkout people.

They are fast as shit, they don’t care who you are, they don’t wanna know how well your day is going, they don’t care what the fuck you’re making for dinner. And then go to New Seasons and it’s like, ‘Yep, I am making a steak tonight.’ I know you’re friendly, but please, talk and work.”

Peter Ellenby

Rock photographer, originally from London, on why he’s become an advocate for stricter parking rules in his neighborhood…

“We live near a MAX station, and cheapskates park in our neighborhood for weeks at a time, take the MAX to the airport, and their cars remain here. It’s not nice to have no parking near your house, especially around holidays when you’d like to invite people over. We’d like the city to just put up signs telling people it’s illegal to park for more than 24 hours. We made our own signs, and it worked. But that’s also illegal, so they have to come down. We obey the law. Mostly. We could just leave birdseed all over the offending cars.”

Johnny Marr

Guitarist for the Smiths and Modest Mouse, originally from Manchester, England, on his decision to move from Portland back to the U.K. and his possible plans to move back to Portland…

“I needed to kind of get a little pissed off, which England is very, very good at providing—across all walks of life. In Portland, I was just playing too much acoustic guitar for what I wanted to do. I was there so much, I was really considering growing a beard, and no one needs that. I don’t really think of anywhere as home at the moment, but I’m intending to move back.”

Brandon Bickford

Yelp’s second employee, originally from Redding, Calif., on the difference between bars in Portland and San Francisco…

“I remember thinking early on in my engineering career in San Francisco, ‘Wow, wouldn’t it be cool if I could go to a bar and find other engineers I could relate to?’ And now going to a San Francisco bar, I never want that to be the case ever again. There are plenty of smart, young engineers, but I don’t want to talk about Python while I’m drinking a beer. It’s a relief going to a coffee shop and seeing people reading books or actually talking to one another. People are actually very entrepreneurial here, although they seem to be more likely to start a fried-chickendoughnut food truck than a Google.”

Willamette Week DECEMBER 17, 2014 wweek.com

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TRANSPLANTS

CONT. CAMERON BROWNE

Emiko Badillo Owner of Food Fight!

Grocery and founder of Portland Vegans of Color

How did you decide to start Vegans of Color?

Before I moved, I wasn’t awa re how Portland really was. I never experienced racism in the way that it is here. I made connections with other people of color, and then I was kinda like, “OK, how can I bridge that with veganism?” To me, veganism and animal rights fit within the bigger social-justice world. I felt there was a need to start a group where vegans of color could get together. Because I was feeling alone, and I assumed they were, too.

And you found them!

I’ve found a lot of them! One woman I met recently said she moved here because she knew there was a Vegans of Color group.

You mean because PETA packages animal rights so closely with celebrity?

Celebrity, body-shaming, straight-up racist ads. There was a project where they were gonna put signs on the Mexico-U.S. border that said, “If Border Patrol doesn’t get you, the American diet will.”

Wow. So let’s say you’re a low-income teenager in the inner city. How can you make veganism work?

“THERE’S A GENERAL I think it ’s done more harm because INABILITY FOR people really believe it. It’s almost like PORTLANDERS TO ACCEPT how veganism has become the easy butt of jokes. We’re trying to battle that Port- BEING A PART OF THE landia view. And show there are still a PROBLEM AND DOING lot of cultures and histories in this city, and state that they are being pushed out ANYTHING TO HELP MAKE IT because of this image of an idealized thing BETTER. PEOPLE THINK THE people think Portland is. You come here, you can live in a nice house, drink coffee CITY IS PERFECT.” Do you think Portlandia has been helpful or harmful to Portland’s image?

all day and live a really nice life. And it’s like, sure you can do that if you’re within a certain means and most likely white.

How does that image play out in Portland’s culture?

There’s a general inability for Portlanders to individually accept being a part of the problem and doing anything to help make it better. People think the city is perfect.

Are Portlanders becoming vegan more frequently in a way that’s removed from animal rights?

Yeah. It’s a bummer, because it’s hypo-

HappySocks men’s underwear & sock set Swedish designed limited edition fun patterns and prints.

Socks $12, Underwear $20, Gift Set $32 800 SW WASHINGTON STREET | DOWNTOWN PORTLAND UNDERU4MEN.COM 20

Willamette Week DECEMBER 17, 2014 wweek.com

How do you respond to someone who says veganism is a lifestyle that’s not easily accessible to lower-income groups?

Not seeing it as a “lifestyle” is the first step.

The fad is what people know now. That’s separate from animal rights. And it’s doing more harm by showcasing products.

The way it’s marketed, you need to look a certain way and be in a certain financial class to be vegan. The bigger animal rights groups need to get more inclusive. PETA is terrible.

Origin: San Antonio Emiko Badillo came to Portland with her husband and no money, looking for a quiet, vegan-friendly town where she could ride her bike.

The Portland she found was not what she’d been sold.

While excited about the communities for vegans in town, she also felt alienated, and surprised by frequent questions about her race. As she describes it, Portland “forced” her to find her niche, in the form of her Southeast Portland vegan grocery, Food Fight!, and an activist community called Vegans of Color.

Badillo, 39, hopes that Portlanders can make the connection between animal rights and human rights, and get just as fired up about a protest as they do about a new imitation cheese.

itself has become more consumer-based than political, so it’s become even more of a battle. Trying to spread any sort of political message through the store is so hard.

thetically causing fewer animals to die, but there’s also a cost to how people are doing it. There are a lot of upper-class, single-focus vegans who just don’t make the connection between human and animal rights and social justice in general.

I feel like if you have compassion, you’re almost there.

Does that put you in a difficult position because you have a store selling vegan products to support your mission?

Yeah, we’re a store and we sell stuff, so we’re tied to the capitalism. But veganism

Cooking. You just have to reset your mind.

You don’t need all those products. You have the means to cook simple, whole foods. Not “Whole Foods”! You can live simply on bulk grains and beans. You don’t need meat analogs and fake cheese.

If you’re ever mistakenly served something containing animal products in a restaurant, do you send it back, knowing it will be thrown away?

If I were with someone who could eat it, I would give it to them. But I don’t hang out with that many people. Being vegan doesn’t mean you’re perfect.

Do you ever encounter any Food Fight! customers who you want to send back?

Yeah…as the vegan fad has grown, we have to provide what people want, and it’s killing us a little every time. We have this new vegan cheese, and people are so passionate about it. We post about the cheese on Facebook, and it gets 300 “likes.” Then we post a film screening for a social-justice group we support, and no one cares. They just want the cheese.

CAMERON BROWNE

CONT.

TRANSPLANTS

TRANSPLANTS

NATIVES

DAMIAN LILLARD Trail Blazers point guard TOM MCCALL Governor who said to visit Oregon but not stay.

From Massachusetts CHUCK PALAHNIUK Author of Fight Club SLEATER-KINNEY with Carrie Brownstein

TONYA HARDING Disgraced figure skater BOB PACKWOOD Disgraced U.S. senator, born and raised in Portland COURTNEY LOVE Fixture of the indie-rock scene, model, actress SALLY STRUTHERS Actress, All in the Family

Brandon Purifoy Server at Clyde Common Origin: San Francisco “You’re interviewing all these people doing important stuff in Portland.

Can I just be, like, the regular guy who isn’t doing that much?”

Brandon Purifoy, 32, arrived in Portland a few months ago and, like many natives fear of California transplants, spent a while just “hanging out.”

Priced out of his birthplace of San Francisco by rapid gentrification and rising rent, he came to Portland to wait tables and be able to afford things. Shortly after beginning his job search, he landed a highly coveted service gig at downtown hot spot Clyde Common.

Although he had an impressive service résumé from working at some of San Francisco’s top restaurants, he says he was hired based on a photo showing his impressive Afro.

WW: They didn’t even look at your résumé?

Brandon Purifoy: I don’t think so. I think they just really liked my hair.

So now we know your Afro has gotten you at least one job. Do you get laid more than you did without it?

Definitely. Especially in Portland.

I’ve been using Tinder here, and I think the hair helps.

Ever seen any of your restaurant co-workers on Tinder?

Yes, but I swipe left. I wouldn’t ever wanna date anyone I work with.

Because once you start dating, it’s a totally different dynamic. If I see them enough outside of work on a very intimate level, I don’t wanna see them at work.

Wait service is a weird performance where people are kind of at their best. It’s a skewed version of someone. As waiters, we’re kind of whores.

I know what I do. I enjoy what I do. If actual hookers can do it, then I can do it. My job is easier than suckin’ some dude’s dick. W hich I’m not into anyway. Dicks aren’t my jam.

But who knows what will happen if I continue to drink this much gin all the time?

Any difference between customers in San Francisco versus here?

We have a lot of hotel residents, so no, not really. Clyde is a pretty good example of what you’d fi nd at a similar restaurant in San Francisco.

Although I have found that women usually take a lot longer to order than men. Women linger. Do women on a date really worry about whether they should be getting a salad or a burger?

Is that real? If so, that’s absolutely stupid that that ’s necessary. Eat whatever you want!

Have you ever considered that sometimes there’s a dynamic of them wanting you to linger at the table? I will sometimes flirt with a waiter to make a date jealous. That’s a move we sometimes use.

I’m gonna start keeping an eye out for that!

Isn’t that part of your role as a good server, though, to feel out what’s going on with a date at a table and feed into the dynamic?

I once made a woman cry when she was with her boyfriend. Because he wanted to acknowledge that it was their anniversary so they could have free dessert. I was like, “Nah, it doesn’t work like that.” And I asked if he was a lawyer because I could tell he was lying to me. He said, “Yeah, actually I am.” Later on I bring out their dessert and it said “Happy Anniversary” on the plate with frosting and shit.

And I bought it for them. They get the dessert, and the woman starts crying and says, “It’s not our anniversary, and it’s really sad because he refuses to propose to me.” I guess it was all a practical joke on his part. So I ended up buying their dessert and wine so they wouldn’t complain.

I do not miss waiting tables. Every person is such a crapshoot. Have you found a good burger here yet?

Double Barrel! And I hear we’re gonna get a In-N-Out Burger in Medford. I would drive there for that.

It’s like a five-hour drive, right? I was told that Burgerville has a great burger, but it’s just a generic In-NOut. I had a waiter ask me recently, “Would you like some ranch for your french fries?” How many horrible people have asked for that shit here where that is now a prompt?

Do you have any favorite latenight spots?

I go to the Hotcake House. It’s great for when you stop caring about how food tastes and start worrying about how lack of food feels. Plus, it reminds me of home because there are other races there. At 3 am at the Hotcake House, it feels like a real city.

COLIN MELOY Decemberists singer

A COUPLE OF THE OTHER DECEMBERISTS

KATHERINE DUNN Geek Love author

JINKX MONSOON Gothy drag artist

URSULA K. LE GUIN Author, from California

MISS AMERICA 2002 From Gresham

ELLIOTT SMITH Songwriter, moved here in high school and then left

COURTNEY TAYLOR Dandy Warhols singer, from Beaverton

GUS VAN SANT Filmmaker, arrived in high school, didn’t leave BILL WALTON Legendary Blazers center, from California

MATT GROENING Creator of The Simpsons (lives in L.A.) KEVIN LOVE Cleveland Cavaliers’ third-best player

STEPHEN MALKMUS Singer, Pavement

CHILLY TEE Rapper, Phil Knight’s son

ISAAC BROCK Singer, Modest Mouse

PHIL KNIGHT Chilly Tee’s dad, Nike

ANDY RICKER Pok Pok, from Vermont

JAMES BEARD Proto-foodie

DUANE SORENSON Stumptown Coffee, from Washington

TRENT PIERCE Chef, Roe

GABRIEL RUCKER Le Pigeon chef, from Napa Valley PETER BUCK Guitarist, R.E.M. CLYDE DREXLER Second-best Blazer TODD HAYNES Director, Far From Heaven, Velvet Goldmine, I’m Not There CHARLIE HALES Portland mayor, born in Washington, D.C., and formerly a resident of Washington state on tax day while voting in Oregon

DAMON STOUDAMIRE Second-greatest Toronto Raptor of all time TERRENCE JONES Houston Rockets, kicked a homeless person NDAMUKONG SUH Detroit Lions, kicked an opposing quarterback TOMMY THAYER Kiss replacement guitarist

MIKE BYRNE Ex-Smashing Pumpkins replacement drummer

Willamette Week DECEMBER 17, 2014 wweek.com

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Willamette Week DECEMBER 17, 2014 wweek.com

STREET

CENTER ICE LACED UP AT LLOYD CENTER MALL. Photos by b r ia n a CEr EZo wweek.com/street

Willamette Week DECEMBER 17, 2014 wweek.com

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FOOD: The wood-fired pizza boom.

MUSIC: Because it’s Jesus’ birthday, some Christian rock.

AP FILM: Blazers historian Larry Colton chats Fast Break.

WILLIE WEED: Oregon’s new mascot: a stoned deer.

27 29 50 52

SCOOP

P H OTO V I A A N T H O N Y WAT S O N ’ S T W I T T E R

THERE’S NO SUCH THING AS STYLE POINTS. BOOOORING: Anthony Watson, Nike’s chief information officer and one of the few openly gay senior executives, quit his job last week after only nine months for what he called “personal” reasons on Twitter, spurring heavy speculation in the press. Watson was born in London and previously worked for Barclays in his hometown. According to an anonymous source quoted in Fortune magazine, he left because he was bored with Portland’s social scene. “As a single gay guy from London,” said the source, Watson “underestimated what it would be like. It was a culture shock. And there’s no point in having a great job if you feel unhappy with your surroundings.” After the Web maelstrom that followed his resignation, Watson explicitly refused all requests for comment but did issue a tweet.

“Despite what you might read,” he wrote, “I’ve never said I hate or dislike #Portland or #Beaverton.

Both are wonderful cities with amazing people.” He did not say, however, that WATSON we weren’t boring.

VORTEX MUSIC: A prophecy has foretold that if the Decemberists, Sleater-Kinney and Modest Mouse all release albums in the same year, a wormhole will open in the space-time continuum and suck Portland back into the mid-2000s. Well, get prepped: Following the announcements that both the Decemberists and the resurrected Sleater-Kinney would put out new records in early 2015, Modest Mouse has confirmed it will also be releasing its first album in eight years in the new year. Strangers to Ourselves is scheduled to hit stores in March. Murmurs began after Modest Mouse joined Instagram and uploaded an image of a 7-inch labeled “Lampshades on Fire,” which turned out to be the album’s first single. No word on whether it’ll include the band’s long-rumored collaboration with Big Boi of Outkast. Meanwhile, both the Decemberists’ What a Terrible World, What a Beautiful World and SleaterKinney’s No Cities to Love drop Jan. 20, the closest Portland will come to having a version of the Kanye-50 Cent duel.

BUY A BAR: Two classic Portland bars are up for sale. Owners of the 50-year-old Skyline Tavern are asking $800,000 for their rustic Forest Park bar and an attached one-bedroom.

“Someone could continue to grow the business,” says the ad, “or choose to build a home on this stunning Skyline property.”

Meanwhile, 30-year-old gay bar Starky’s on Southeast Stark Street—known for its bottomless mimosa brunches—is for sale for $1.3 million, with a listing that declares the location to be “underutilized and ideal for redevelopment with highdensity or mixed-use residential/retail.”

WILLAMETTE WINS: Everyone at WW would like to extend hearty congratulations to Aaron Mesh and Martin Cizmar, whose teams advanced to the finals in the office fantasy football league. The two bested valued employees in a spirited season filled with much good-natured guff-giving. Cizmar beat account executive Matt Plambeck 93-91 on Mark Ingram’s late touchdown Monday night. Mesh routed Special Assistant for Promotions and Give!Guide Sam Cusumano 121-102. Both Cizmar and Mesh thank sales director Scott Wagner for his capable service as league commissioner for many weeks after his time as a serious competitor ended.

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Willamette Week DECEMBER 17, 2014 wweek.com

HEADOUT LEO zAROSINSKI

WILLAMETTE WEEK

What to do this Week in arts & culture

WEDNESDAY DEC. 17 SAMA DAMS [ART-ROCK] On its new album, Comfort in Doubt, the Portland band continues to build on its artrock and prog influences, with lopsided grooves, searing guitar solos, and labyrinthine melodies brought to life by Sam Adams’ malleable voice (no, not the mayor-turned-DJ). Yet amid all the album’s twists and tricks, the record also displays some of the strongest, most accessible songs the group has yet produced. Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside St., 2319663. 9 pm. $5. 21+.

THURSDAY DEC. 18 AffligeM tASting SeMinAr [BEER] One of Belgium’s greatest breweries is holding court at Portland’s greatest Belgian beer bar with a Blonde, Dubbel, Noel and Cuvee. ’Nuff said. Bazi Bierbrasserie, 1522 SE 32nd Ave., 234-8888, bazipdx.com. 7-9 pm. $24 includes tip.

SATURDAY DEC. 20

SWEATER SEASON HOW TO TAKE YOUR IRONIC LOVE OF CHRISTMAS TO THE NEXT LEVEL.

First, You Need a Sweater

Duh. Red Light Clothing Exchange (3590 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 963-8888, redlightclothingexchange.com) claims to have 1,000 of them, maybe including that one your elementary school teacher had, which is still better than anything you’ve seen in the years since.

Eat a Reindeer

You can get Alaskan reindeer sausage rumored to be culled from Santa’s own personal herd at the Beez Neez food cart (440 Southwest 3rd Avenue, 547-7213, beezneezsausages.com). The quarter-pound tubes of Rudolph flesh also have pork and beef some claim is from Old MacDonald’s farm.

Drink Your Eggnog Pre-Spiked

Eastside Distilling (1512 SE 7th Ave., 926-7060, eastsidedistilling.com) cuts out the middle-mom by serving 60-proof eggnog straight out of the bottle.

Spike the Cocoa

Nothing says mid-20s Christmas like a bougie child’s drink with booze. At Gracie’s in the Hotel DeLuxe (729 SW 15th Ave., 222-2171, hoteldeluxeportland. com), they’ve got a fancy hot-cocoa bar that lets you spike the winter drink with Rumple Minze, rum, vodka or Peppermint Bark Liqueur, and gussy it up with lavender or Smoked Ghost Chili Pepper Salt. Or—because, Portland—candied bacon. Just $13 a cup.

Watch Sam the Snowman Onstage

Watch veteran local television columnist Wm. “Hump” Stevens dress as a sashaying snowman (he made the costume himself!) in a live-stage adaptation of 1964’s beloved stop-motion special Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer (CoHo Theater, 2257 NW Raleigh St., 220-2646, cohoproductions.org. Through Dec. 21).

All cApS coMeDy [COmEDY] A heap of local comics—including Phil Schallberger, Steven Wilber and Adam Pasi— perform solo sketches and character-based standup. In previous installments, that meant experimental sets from the likes of the Abominable Snowman, Sasquatch or Carl Sagan. Funhouse Lounge, 2432 SE 11th Ave., 841-6734.

10 pm. $5.

a That’s nott’s a h T i! yet vintage n Cinnamo Bear.

Cruise with Cinnamon Bear

For the 10th year now, Portland has a boat cruise (cinnamonbearcruise.com) with an alternate Christmas universe acknowledged only in this town: Queen Melissa, Crazy Quilt Dragon, Presto the Magician, Captain Taffy, the Candy Buccaneers, and, uh, Cinnamon Bear. They all come from California. You don’t have to sit on their laps.

Ruin Santa for Everyone

Piggybacking on the original Cacophonous SantaCons chronicled by Chuck Palahniuk, Stumptown Events hosts hordes of bellowing Old Town Jägerbomb Santas at such venerable drinking institutions as Barrel Room, Jones Bar, Dixie Tavern, Splash Bar and Blitz.

It benefits, in part, a charity run by the Portland Police Bureau. It begins at Tom McCall Waterfront Park at 2 pm Dec. 20, and ends in a CHIERS van.

yUng leAn [SWEDISH FISH] How a chubby Swedish teenager became one of the most galvanizing forces in hip-hop right now is unexplainable, but the hype behind Yung Lean not totally unwarranted. His flow isn’t too impressive but his bizarre lyrics are entertaining, and unlike many older artists, he has a clear sense of identity: He’s a guy that loves Arizona Iced Tea, Internet Explorer and bucket hats. Hawthorne Theatre, 1507 SE Cesar E. Chavez Blvd., 233-7100. 8 pm. $18 advance, $20 day of show. All ages.

SUNDAY DEC. 21 it’S A griSwolD grinchMAS cArol [TRIvIA] Finally! All those Decembers you spent on your parents’ couch binge-watching Christmas movies on cable has paid off. EastBurn, 1800 E Burnside St., 236-2876. 6 pm. Free. 21+.

TUESDAY DEC. 23 Silent night, DeADly night [mOvIES] Basically, it’s Friday the 13th, but with a dude in a Santa suit instead of a hockey mask.

And more boobs. So remember: Santa is watching you. Especially when you’re having premarital sex.

Hollywood Theatre, 4122 NE Sandy Blvd., 281-4215. 7:30 pm. $8.

Willamette Week DECEMBER 17, 2014 wweek.com

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FOOD & DRINK EAT MOBILE N ATA L I E B E H R I N G . C O M

= WW Pick.

Highly recommended.

By MATTHEW KORFHAGE. Editor: MARTIN CIZMAR. Email: dish@wweek. com. See page 3 for submission instructions.

WEDNESDAY, DEC. 17 Festival of the Last Minute

The Portland Saturday Market will be open every day until Christmas Eve with exotic foods and gewgaws for gift procrastinators, including a Spirits Fest this weekend ($5 entry).

Tom McCall Waterfront Park, portlandsaturdaymarket.com.

THURSDAY, DEC. 18 Affligem Tasting Seminar

One of Belgium’s greatest breweries is holding court at Portland’s greatest Belgian beer bar with a Blonde, Dubbel, Noel and Cuvee. ’Nuff said. Bazi Bierbrasserie, 1522 SE 32nd Ave., 234-8888. 7-9 pm. $24, includes tip.

Perfume and Chocolate

So apparently perfume and chocolate together are sort of a thing.

Who knew? Anyway, Mandy Aftel of Aftelier Perfumes will be signing her book, Fragrant: The Secret Life of Scent, and also giving away perfume and chocolate. Cacao, 414 SW 13th Ave., 241-0656. 5 pm.

I

PG. 29

MUSIC

SUNDAY, DEC. 21 Brunch With Santa

23Hoyt is serving a holiday brunch, complete with Santa, apparently.

We don’t know whether Santa is also dining, but please advise the children not to sit directly on Santa’s belly, just in case. 23Hoyt, 529 NW 23rd Ave., 445-7400. $18 ($10 for kids). Reservations required.

Shandong www.shandongportland.com Where to eat this week.

1. Smallwares 4605 NE Fremont St., 971-229-0995.

Smallwares brings Portland a new baddest brunch in town—in the Jacksonian sense. Ever had ramen for breakfast? Smallwares’ beef meatball ramen opens your sinuses with horseradish and then fills them with uber-beefy broth. $$.

Shandong

2. Bamboo Izakaya 1409 NE Alberta St., 889-0336, bambooizakaya.com.

Bamboo is the other new, inauthentic Asian brunch in town, but stick to the dinners, and to a transcendent whole mackerel and creatively conceived black cod dish. $$.

www.shandongportland.com

3. Acadia 1303 NE Fremont St., 249-5001, creolapdx.com.

Adam Higgs’ head-on barbecue shrimp is served in a sauce redolent of Worcestershire: It’s a seafood version of Chex party mix and crazy good, especially when you suck the heads. $$$.

Jobs for the Food and Drink Industry Staffing solutions for owners and managers

5. Zaatar 1037 NW Flanders St., 477-8237, zaatarnw.com.

Tony Karam is back in Portland with an excellent new Lebanese spot. The baba ghanoush, especially, has as much smoke as many pork shanks, and the pita is impressive. $$.

NYC/ CHI/ SFO/ SEA /PDX/ AUS

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4. Haan Ghin Southwest Park Avenue and Harrison Street (on PSU campus).

Haan Ghin’s trademark mii gai is a brilliant mash-up of flavor and texture: a sweet-sour egg noodle vermicelli with chicken, spiced with chili oil and crisped up with fried shallot and chicken skin. $.

Willamette Week DECEMBER 17, 2014 wweek.com

6/10/12 9:41 AM

UMM, YEAH: Shio ramen at the Umai cart.

UMAI To get to Umai, you need a little faith. Turn down a street that doesn’t look like a street, and behind the Hazel Room and Red Velvet Parlour, facing a wall with quotes about murder, you’ll find a tiny food-cart pod tucked away like an oyster’s pearl in a slab of dead-end pavement. Nothing could survive here unless it was either wonderful or desperate.

Well, it’s wonderful, much like the Bundy’s boiled-bagel cart next to it. Never mind that Umai has some of the best fried chicken in town, at a criminally low cost. Chicken karaage—the Japanese take on an American mid-South staple—is breaded Order this: Shio ramen, but (pro tip) try the veggie broth just to the point of crispness and with karaage dunked in. Damn. coated in soy, garlic and ginger, Best deal: That fried chicken lightly sauced in chopsticks-ready is $4. chunks, and almost perfect for a mere $4. The kale and kelp salad ($3.50) is a lightly vinegared love affair with all things green by land or sea, with bright and deep flavors.

But you haven’t gone down this rabbit hole for kelp. Umai serves terrific ramen ($10), with a shoyu broth that wallops you with soy, and a shio (salt) broth that mixes with the natural saltiness of the soup’s tender pulled pork shoulder to create a sort of light-headed ecstasy amid probable brain dehydration. But the real depth of flavor is provided by pickled shiitakes, a just-so soft-boiled egg and a mess of scallions and steamed greens, not to mention al dente, cart-made noodles with taste and texture that announce themselves rather than recede into glutenous limpness.

The broths and meat are not tenderly smoky like Shigezo’s or Mirakutei’s, nor do they reach the muscle-relaxant umami high of Yuzu’s tonkotsu. But by the end of each bowl of shio, the only thing you’ll want is more of the same. MATTHEW KORFHAGE. EAT: Umai, Southeast 33rd Avenue and Hawthorne Boulevard, 502-4428, umaipdx.com. Noon-5 pm Wednesday-Sunday.

DRANK

PAMPLEMOUSSE CITRUS IPA (LOMPOC) Lompoc Brewing is responsible for my favorite new Portland IPA of the year, a quickly disappeared one-off called White Album. That beer was a collaboration with Portland Brewing co-founder Fred Bowman and featured wheat and pale malts with Meridian and Chinook hops. White Album glowed in the glass, with a sweet citrus pop that balanced perfectly against a clean breadiness. Pamplemousse, the new bottled IPA from Lompoc, isn’t the White Album, but it’s no Yellow Submarine, either. Continuing the trend toward Radleresque IPAs, Pamplemousse gets a dose of fresh grapefruit juice that blends with rugged bitterness to resemble eating a halved grapefruit, without sugar. There’s a little rind in the finish, and a little farmyness to the nose, but the lingering flavor is refreshing, fruity and pleasantly hoppy. Recommended.

MARTIN CIZMAR.

FOOD & DRINK TO P : J A S O N D E S O M E r . B OT TO M , F r O M L E F T TO r i G h T : N ATA L i E B E h r i N G , NOLAN CALiSCh, JErEK hOLLENDEr, ADAM WiCKhAM

FLOPPY DISC WOOD-FIRED PIZZA AIN’T EASY. ROSEWAY’S NEW PIZZERIA OTTO GETS IT WRONG.

By M a rt i n C i z M a r

mcizmar@wweek.com

Oak, folks! Fuel of the future! Now’s the time! Oak’s where you want your money!

Crazy? Like a fox. The electric oven is on its way out.

In the last year, at least five new wood-fired pizzerias have popped up in Portland. The people who brought us the Year of the Pop-Up are now projecting Mugnaini installers working overtime to put elegant tiled ovens in Lents and Powellhurst-Gilbert.

Great news, right? Not only for those of us heavily vested in oak, but for pizza lovers tired of all those crappy ’zas. Well, not so fast.

Sure, many of the best pies you’ll ever eat are made in super-hot Italian-built ovens. But the restaurants that buy them also use great ingredients and invest in talent, hiring pizzaiolos who spend years mastering the nuances of their craft. The best pizzeria in town, Apizza Scholls, uses a souped-up electric oven and an infrared thermometer to achieve perfection. The second- and third-best—Ken’s Artisan and Division Street’s new Pizza Maria—are woodfired, made by graduate-level bread experts. for me. Or for my poor wife, who tried to eat one-handed Which brings us to Northeast Sandy Boulevard, to the and ended up with a pile of cheese and meat slipping onto new Pizzeria Otto, a woody nook with an open kitchen her scarf. and sports on TV, housed in a former Roseway antique Part of the problem, I suspect, is Otto’s heavy hand shop. Owner Clark Hale installed a big, sustainable, with toppings. While real Neapolitan pizzas are spartan apple-wood-fired 900-degree Forno Bravo oven and hired affairs, Hale has some of the cheesiest, meatiest artisan a pizzaiolo who’d previously worked at Cibo and the Via pies in town. Good in theory, but all that stuff slows cookTribunali chain. With great Vietnamese ing time, leading the bottom to brown every few blocks and the recent arrival of order this: Caesar salad with before the pie is baked. This is why Scholls Szechuan brewpub BTU Brasserie, Rose- anchovies. won’t let you put more than three toppings Best deal: Bayern Pilsner ($3.50). way appears to be on the rise. on any pie, no matter how much you beg.

Otto, unfortunately, won’t bring me I’ll pass: Pizza.

The toppings are a smaller problem. back unless there are some big changes.

None of the five combinations we tried I’ll start with the biggest problem, which is Otto’s became more than the sum of their parts. They buy local crust. Yes, the bottom is leopard-spotted with those dark coppa, a laudable practice, except the dark brown version flecks of toasty char found on any high-end pizza. But the that emerges from the oven is so gamey and salty it outrest of the crust is flaccid in both flavor and structure. The muscles everything else on the pie. A special of the day, pies, which range from $10 for a simple margherita to $18 with Brussels sprouts and pancetta, was aggressively bitfor the four-meat Carne or a pie with porcini and crumbles ter and salty, with too much crunch in the wrong places. of housemade fennel sausage, are underdone and loafy.

There are similar problems with the salads, none of Of the five pizzas we had on two visits, all were mushy at which really work. The mixta, for example, uses a grana heart, without that ribbon of flexible chewiness I look for cheese that’s creamier than Parmesan but lacks the salty in the center of a pie. pop, and a reduction of balsamic vinaigrette that’s simply Hale says this is what he’s going for, and that real Nea- too sweet. A Mexican dish—the Caesar salad ($5 small, politan pizzas are softer than what Americans are accus- $9 large)—is the best thing on the menu, with that grana tomed to. I can’t argue from Naples, but his pies don’t work playing better against bright lemon, creamy housemade

oTTo shop: Roseway’s new wood-fired pizzeria is a nice room with disappointing pies.

dressing and delicious little Sicilian anchovies.

The drink menu is fine. Wines are value-conscious and mostly available by the glass, including an impressive $5 Portuguese red. Otto had two of the world’s great pizza beers, Boneyard RPM IPA on tap and Bayern Pilsner in bottles. You’ll probably only want one drink, though, since Otto has you order at the counter.

That’s a system that works really well at places like ¿Por Que No? and Bollywood Theater, but not here. On our first visit, I unwittingly cut the line of people waiting on wooden benches near the door by walking up to the empty counter. If you want a refill, you have to head back to the counter. If you want a takeout box, start waving your arms at a server.

And, obviously, if you want a second drink, or dessert, you’re going to be back in that line behind a family waiting to order to-go pies. Is it worth it? If you’re eyeing the dessert Stromboli, I advise against it. At $8, it serves two and tastes mostly like salty cracker dipped in Nutella.

It’s great to see ambitious restaurants extending the boundaries of artisanal Portland. But Otto doesn’t really qualify: There’s already better pie 15 blocks east at East Glisan Pizza Lounge.

EAT: Pizzeria Otto, 6708 NE Sandy Blvd., 971-373-8348, pizzeriaotto.com. 5-9 pm Monday-Saturday.

PIES IN THE SKY POrTLAND’S FOur BEST NEW PizzEriAS OF 2014

Pizza Maria

Pyro Pizza 2

Atlas Pizza

East Glisan Pizza Lounge

3060 SE Division St., 971-303-7000, pizzamariapdx.com.

Tidbit pod, Southeast 28th Place and Division Street, pyropizzacart.com.

3570 SE Division St., 232-3004, facebook.com/atlaspizzaportland.

8001 NE Glisan St., 971-279-4273, eastglisan.com.

Sean Coyne has an impressive pedigree, formerly head baker at Thomas Keller’s Per Se. Lured West by his wife’s job, Coyne landed as the head baker at Grand Central before opening this masterfully simple pizzeria. The most impressive pie is the marinara: crust, sauce, sliced garlic and a sprinkle of oregano.

The best single-serving pie in town comes from the wood-fired Pyro cart.

Facing eviction from the Cartopia pod, Pyro opened a new cart on Division Street. And then Cartopia didn’t close.

So now there’s twice as much Pyro goodness. This one has a beer cart nearby.

This classic rock-’n’-roll slice shop has pinball cabinets, music from esoteric bluesman Abner Jay and old gig posters for Dead Moon. The pies aren’t aspiring for fancified greatness, just a nice medium-thick crust with piquant marinara and gobs of salty mozzarella—all perfectly matched to the atmosphere.

The pies at this Montavilla shop aren’t anything approaching pizza perfection, but they are uniformly good. The crust is well-made: thin, crackery, but lacking elasticity and tang. The simple sauce is bright, fresh and lightly applied.

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dec. 17–23 HOTSEAT

= WW Pick. Highly recommended.

D U N C A N G A LV I N

Prices listed are sometimes for advance ticket sales. At-the-door increases and socalled convenience charges may apply. Event lineups are subject to change after WW’s press deadlines.

Editor: MATTHEW SINGER. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, go to wweek.com/ submitevents and follow submission directions. All shows should be submitted two weeks or more in advance of event. Press kits, CDs and especially vinyl can be sent to Music Desk, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Please include show or release date information with all physical mailings. Email: msinger@wweek.com.

Fax: 243-1115.

WEDNESDAY, DEC. 17

THURSDAY, DEC. 18

Phantogram, Wild Ones

Hot Panda, Page Turner

[ELECTRO NOIR] There’s a point in every Pandora radio station when even the most vigilant thumbs-downing to certain tracks can’t steer you away from a beige slurry of female-fronted electro-pop that sounds like it slinked its way out of a Lower East Side practice space circa 2003. In the case of Phantogram, the triangulation of Karen O’s casual cool, Crystal Castles-jarring electronics and Metric’s arena-sized ambition is a comfortable dark corner to call home until the wave rolls back and leaves the New York duo wondering where to take their sleek, shadowy dance pop when synthesizers and designer denim are once again out of favor with the mainstream music press.

PETE COTTELL. Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside St., 225-0047. 8 pm. Sold out. All ages.

Tender Age, Appendixes, Warm Hands

[SHOEGAZE] Portland quartet Tender Age has arrived at a time particularly well-suited for dream-pop acts. With the likes of local bands such as WL and Blouse for company, the young band is bringing back hazy. With a limited number of slow and vaporous recordings to its name, Tender Age is very much up and coming. The lengthy, fluid sounds the band creates are ideal live, when there’s nothing to fence them in. Like a distant ship on the horizon, Tender Age is a flickering thing, constantly in motion and never in a hurry. MARK STOCK. Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison St., 239-7639. 8:30 pm. $6. 21+.

Magic Mouth, Swahili

[PUNKISH R&B] By all accounts, it’s a wonder how Stumptown’s premier punk-funk outfit has yet to release a proper full-length. The bold quintet has released a couple of excellent EPs since its debut several years ago, the latest being the dynamic Devil May Care, both of which encapsulate the band’s fondness for soul-shakin’ rhythm and feverish guitar with frontman Chanticleer Trü’s gospel belting at the center. The group pours as much into its recordings as its dynamite shows, offering up handclaps, rolling bass grooves and, as anyone who’s seen them live can attest, plenty of sweat. The dancy, psychedelic trappings of Swahili are a plus. BRANDON WIDDER. Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., 288-3895. 9 pm. $10.

21+.

Skinny Puppy, Front Line Assembly, Haujobb, Youth Code

[DISCORDANT CLAMOR] Echoing everything from New Order’s most mechanical dance moments to nascent industrial sounds and experimental sound sequencing, British Columbia’s Skinny Puppy has remained a dark force in music for about 30 years. Beginning with its 1984 EP Remission, the group’s core duo of Nivek Ogre and cEvin Key have lampooned humanity’s pratfalls, and there hasn’t been a significant reprieve since. Last year’s Weapon continues Skinny Puppy’s cultural appraisal, leaving just a hint of promise with occasional lyrics such as “All is not lost” amid the discordant clamoring.

Front Line Assembly, which includes former Puppy Bill Leeb, opens. DAVE CANTOR. Roseland Theater, 8 NW 6th Ave., 224-2038. 7:30 pm. $30 general admission, $50 reserved balcony seating. All ages.

[AGIT-POP] While Hot Panda’s aggrowinsome pop punk could sorta be described as a flash-fried amalgam of Panda Riot and fellow B.C.’ers Hot Hot Heat, the co-ed trio’s latest album, Go Outside, really should be judged by its cover photo, which depicts a lanky fellow diving quite literally balls out over a barely glimpsed pool.

Irrepressible energies and lofty ambitions too often belly-flop into spastic political flailings, but still, ’tis the season to enjoy “Holiday,” a “Fairytale of New York” reimagined as millennial bedsit anthem. JAY HORTON. Dante’s, 350 W Burnside St., 226-6630. 9 pm. $5. 21+.

The Muffs, Summer Cannibals, the Suicide Notes

[WORDS + GUITAR] The ’90s were filled with awesome film soundtracks, weirdly curated gems that mixed genres (Alt-rock! Trip-hop! Something that vaguely sounds like Pearl Jam!), broke new artists, and sometimes even topped the charts. The soundtrack to Clueless isn’t quite on the same level as, say, Romeo + Juliet, but it did contain a cover of “Kids in America” by a bratty little L.A. band called the Muffs. Led by singer-guitarist Kim Shattuck, the Muffs made jumpy, urgent pop-punk that still sounds fresh today. After a 10-year hiatus, which included a few months last year when Shattuck replaced Kim Deal as the Pixies’ touring bass player, the Muffs returned this year with new record Whoop Dee Doo, which stands up well alongside the band’s beloved ’90s material. MICHAEL MANNHEIMER. Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside St., 231-9663. 9 pm. $13 advance, $15 day of show. 21+.

The Drum Also Waltzes: Secret Drum Band, Dana Valatka (of Au), Paper/ Upper/Cuts, Ben Stoller (of Hot Victory)

[DRUMGASM] Keep your “Moby Dick” jokes to yourself. Tonight, a murderers’ row of Portland percussionists—including ex-Explode Into Colors heavy-hitter Lisa Schonberg and her expressionist Secret Drum Band, and Papi Fimbres under the guise of his one-man dub jam Paper/Upper/Cuts—bring their kits into the foreground for an evening of thunderous pounding. Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., 2883895. 9 pm. $6 advance, $8 day of show. 21+

Ephemeros, Worm Ouroboros, Dispossessed, Noesis

[DOOM METAL] It’s taken Ephemeros a year and two botched pressings to release its debut album, All Hail Corrosion, on vinyl, but the band’s finally got something to stock the merch table with. It’s been a long wait, but given the way the record sounds, it seems fitting: the 40-minute album is divided into three colossal, slowmoving tracks, so the Portland group clearly doesn’t mind taking its time.

Besides, it’s worth waiting for the kind of doom metal that always hits the spot, which physically manifests as something between headbanging and hypnotic swaying. SHANNON GORMLEY. Rotture, 315 SE 3rd Ave., 234-5683. 9 pm. $6 advance, 8 day of show. 21+.

X, the Blasters

[CLASSIC PUNK] Before this summer, I had just about sworn off X, at least in the present tense. In the past, I’ve argued that the legendary L.A. roots-

A NEW WAY TO PRAISE WITH DEEPER WELL RECORDS, EVAN WAY WANTS TO BROADEN THE DEFINITION OF “CHRISTIAN MUSIC.” BY matthew sin ger

msinger@wweek.com

Not all Christian music is created equal, especially on Deeper Well Records. The label, started

by Evan Way of Portland-via-L.A. folk-rock group the Parson Red Heads, was founded to combat the perception of praise music as a homogenous genre of overproduced schlock, with a roster that runs from ascendant gospel-soul singer Liz Vice to Wesley Randolph Eader’s old-time folk and the glammed-up electro-pop of Pilgrim.

This week, Deeper Well presents a showcase co-headlined by Vice and singer-songwriter Josh Garrels and featuring the debut of Way’s new solo project. WW spoke to Way about the difficulties of promoting overtly religious music in a secular city, being branded “hipster church music” and how much of Christian music is about selling Jesus to nonbelievers.

WW: What’s the label’s mission statement?

Evan Way: The goal is pretty simple. We’re just trying to provide quality music about our faith and about Jesus, and specifically we’re trying to do it in a way that’s different in format from what a lot of mainstream Christian music has been—not just as far as musical style, but providing it for free, or as close to free as we can.

The label branched out of the Door of Hope church in Northeast Portland, which has been referred to as a “hipster church.” I can’t imagine that’s a branding you’ve embraced.

Our aesthetic is just a result of the people who work here and who we are. It appeals to a broader audience than hipsters. That just happens to be the thing you notice when you come in, that there are a lot of artistic-looking people here, which can apparently be spun into a bad thing. “What? They’re playing music that’s good? Then they’re a hipster church.”

Shouldn’t we be playing music that’s good?

How much has Parson Red Heads been an outlet for your faith?

Definitely, Parson Red Heads has never had overtly Christian material, but I don’t think it’s very hard for people to gather the undertones, if they’re paying attention. But I’ve never felt a desire to push Parson Red Heads as Christian music or worship music. It’s music that’s important to me and songs that mean a lot to me and are the result of my worldview, but what I do with Deeper Well is a little more specific.

What is the purpose of your brand of praise music? Are you trying to convert people?

That’s the big question. I’ve been working on these specific songs for the past three years, and it’s the first time I’ve tried to write actual, overt songs about my faith. I’ve struggled with the idea of: “Should these even be recorded, or are they just to be sung by the church?” And I guess I still go back and forth on that a little bit, because I don’t want to ever let my desire for people to like my music mix with my desire to sing about Jesus. It’s a dangerous place for a Christian artist to be in. I don’t think Christian music or praise music—however you want to label it—could possibly convert someone who wasn’t curious and seriously considering Christianity. I don’t think it’s any substitution for hearing the Gospels preached as far as “bringing someone to Christianity.”

What has it been like trying to do this music and get these ideas across in Portland? Could you have done Deeper Well in L.A.?

Well, I don’t think it’s any more friendly toward Christianity than Southern California, if you catch my drift. But I think the image of Portland being unchurched is not entirely accurate. There’s 1,000 people who go to our church every week, and we’re not the only church in town, certainly. There are personal challenges in it, like for me, navigating what it means to release Christian music alongside releasing Parsons music. You can’t help but think, “I hope they don’t put some label on me and assume I’m something I’m not—from either camp, really.”

SEE IT: Evan Way plays Aladdin Theater, 3017 SE Milwaukie Ave., with Josh Garrels, Liz Vice and Wesley Randolph Eader, on Friday, Dec. 19. 7:30 pm. $15. Under 21 permitted with legal guardian.

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punk band’s first four albums represent some of the best rock ‘n’ roll of the last 30 years, and I still believe that. But a decade and a half into its reunion, with no new music and a tacit admission from its members that the only reason they continue touring together is to keep the bills paid, I was pretty much done going to see the same uninspired live show again and again. then came Pickathon. there, the band stripped down for a rare acoustic set, and sounded reborn. there’s no guarantee that will carry over to these two gigs. If nothing else, though, it proves the group, when motivated, is capable of rekindling the fire that made it the greatest band to ever come out of Los Angeles (yes, I said it).

MAttHEW SInGER. Star Theater, 13 NW 6th Ave., 345-7892. 9 pm. $27.50. 21+. Also on Dec. 21.

Jason Webley & Friends

[DARK AccoRDIon] For the past 16 years, Jason Webley has made a name for himself as a gypsypunk busker who rocks the accordion and often brings vegetable mascots onstage at his shows. His latest work, Margaret, carries on in his quirky tradition. It is an ode to Margaret Rucker, a former resident of Webley’s hometown of Everett, Wash. through a series of serendipitous events, Webley came upon a book of her poetry, journal entries, photographs and newspaper clippings telling of her life, and teamed with a group of musician friends to create an album inspired by her. If video from the live shows is any indication, the album is a swirling mass of the haunting harmonies, punchy accordion, lilting violin and exuberant foot-stomping that Webley has long mastered— and now, there’s a dash of history thrown in. KAItIE toDD. Wonder

Ballroom, 128 NE Russell St., 2848686. 8:30 pm. $12 advance, $14 day of show. All ages.

FRIDAY, DEC. 19 The Lower 48, Brownish Black, Moon by You

[noStALGIc PoP] Listening to the Lower 48, whether on record or in person, would lead you to believe pop music never went down the path that lead to t-Swift and Sam Smith. the trio still basks in an early-Beatles sensibility, with malefemale harmonies and gleaming strings punctured by Ben Braden’s fiery bouts of electric guitar and trumpets. the group’s joyous self-titled album delivers short bursts of ’60s-styled rock ’n’ roll that goes hand in hand with the slick suits the trio dons onstage.

BRAnDon WIDDER. Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside St., 2319663. 9 pm. $8 advance, $10 day of show. 21+.

Warrant, Jack Russell’s Great White, Black ’N Blue

[tHE toRtoISE AnD tHE HAIR MEtAL] For proponents of a genre long derided as callow and exploitative, the glam survivors of the ’80s Sunset Strip scene have proven surprisingly true to their music’s borrowed bluesy origins.

Years after their iconic frontman drank himself to death in a L.A. motel, Warrant soldiers on with exLynch Mob vocalist Robert Mason and even cracked the Billboard hard-rock charts with 2011’s Rockaholic. Jack Russell—suffering through the nightclub fire, the abandonment of his former bandmates, and a gruesome litany of

cont. on page 32

DAn MonIcK

PREVIEW

Joyce Manor, Toys That Kill, Drivers [RITALIN ROCK] Between the preening of the Warped Tour and the made-for-Broadway schlock of Green Day’s American Idiot, it’s hard to argue that punk hasn’t taken several hard left turns to disappear up its own ass since its runway debut in 1977. It’s become easier to land on what punk isn’t than what it is, making it all the more satisfying when a band like Joyce Manor materializes from the ether to stick its landing with three-chord bangers that rarely log more than two minutes. The Torrance, Calif., quartet’s ragged enthusiasm is endemic to purely suburban environs, and tapping into the tract-home-lined wellspring of angst has been the MO of the band’s label, Epitaph, since it ran hot in the early ’90s. Nevertheless, the fervor of this year’s Never Hungover Again still finds room in the margins for the kinds of moody flourishes you’d expect from a pop-punk outfit that name-checks the Smiths. This case is furthered by Joyce Manor’s last appearance in town—an opening slot for Brand New—but any semblance of highfalutin ambitions is graciously cut short by the fact that the entirety of this record can be processed in one lap of your local shopping mall’s main concourse and memorized in three. PETE COTTELL. Hawthorne Theatre, 1507 SE Cesar E. Chavez Blvd., 233-7100. 7 pm Wednesday, Dec. 17. $13 advance, $15 day of show. All ages.

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friday–monday

medical troubles—has assembled his own version of Great White and still warbles his way around “Once Bitten Twice Shy” with wry depths compensating for a spotty upper register. The tunes remain puerile and derivative, of course, but the acts’ sheer perseverance holds more than a glimmer of rawk majesty.

JAY HORTON. Roseland Theater, 8 NW 6th Ave., 224-2038. 8 pm. $25$100. 21+.

The Pynnacles, Vegetable Revival Project, Monica Nelson & the Highgates, the Last Regiment of Syncopated Drummers

[GARAGE TRASH] The music will be a bit more tart than most confections, but the garagey bands set to play this joint-release show are celebrating the newest split from Voodoo Doughnut’s record label.

The Pynnacles, a troupe counting some Satan’s Pilgrims in its ranks, have already laid down a full-length, as well as a re-recording of the Deepest Blues’ lone beat single from 1966, while devising an approach to the genre that dismisses any need for updates. The Vegetable Revival Project, sporting a current member of Poison Idea, comes off a bit more fratty, but that rougher sound makes a good deal of sense given Eric Olson’s inclusion. DAVE CANTOR. Sandy Hut, 1430 NE Sandy Blvd., 235-7972. 9 pm. $5 suggested donation. 21+.

Levon’s Helmet, Fools Rush, Sweeping Exits

[POP PUNK] The name could fool you, but Levon’s Helmet sounds nothing like the Band. In fact, its name—seemingly a reference to deceased drummer Levon Helm—is actually meant as a slight dis of the neo-folk scene. The band’s debut EP, released last year, comprises catchy, hook-centric punk songs, none of which hits the three-minute mark. Levon’s Helmet doesn’t need to poke fun at the late and great to distance itself from the folk-rock scene, but these guys clearly gets a kick out of pissing people off, like any respectable punk band would.

SHANNON GORMLEY. The Know, 2026 NE Alberta St., 473-8729. 8 pm. $5. 21+.

SUNDAY, DEC. 21 Shannon and the Clams, La Luz

[SURF ROCKABILLY] One of the harshest critiques of the psychedelic surf genre is that is can be a bit pandering, attempting to woo fans and Pitchfork writers with shallow lyrics and repetitive harmonies. But Oakland trio Shannon and the Clams refute such easy stereotypes. While the band does adhere to some garage-pop tropes—catchy, simple riffs, an affinity for beach imagery— it maintains a style uniquely its own, based around intensely creative lyrics that range from diary entries to psychedelic retellings of classic

SATURDAY, DEC. 20 [POST-GRUNGE] Thanks to Nickelback, Puddle of Mudd has managed to avoid being ridiculed as the worst of the post-grunge pack. (If you don’t remember, these were the dudes fronted by a waxfigure of Kurt Cobain who used to hang with Fred Durst.) Of course, Chad Kroeger is headlining arenas while Wes Scantlin and crew are, well, here. But at least people don’t circulate petitions to keep them from playing in their town.

Sometimes, obscurity is its own reward. Bossanova Ballroom, 722 E Burnside St., 206-7630. 8 pm. $20 general admission, $75 VIP. All ages.

The Dandy Warhols Pagan Christmas, the Upsidedown, Death by Thumb

[BO-HO-HO-HEMIAN LIKE YOU] Nothing says Christmas like the sweet simpering of Dandy Warhols frontman Courtney Taylor at the Crystal Ballroom, where the band is holding its third annual Yuletide residency. Actually, the spirit is not in the sound, but the sales: A dollar from every ticket goes to Ethos Music, a Portland nonprofit that provides free music lessons to kids in communities with no other access.

Ethos band Death by Thumb, whose original “Here Comes the Thumb” sounds like a young Black Sabbath, is opening. JAMES HELMSWORTH. Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside St., 225-0047. 8 pm. $20 advance, $25 day of show. All ages.

Yung Lean & Sad Boys, Gravity Boys

[#INTERNETTRAP 2001] That a chubby Swedish teenager is one of the most galvanizing forces in hip-hop right now is a phenomenon probably better explained by people with more advanced degrees and fatter word counts. But the hype behind Yung Lean is not totally unwarranted. His beats are a hypnotic blend of sizzling high hats and atmospheric keyboards, and while his flow isn’t too impressive, his bizarre lyrics are certainly entertaining. More importantly, unlike many older artists, Lean has a clear sense of his identity. He’s guy that loves shouting out Arizona Iced Tea and Internet Explorer, wearing bucket hats and musing on sadness. JAMES HELMSWORTH. Hawthorne Theatre, 1507 SE 39th Ave., 233-7100. 8 pm. $18 advance, $20 day of show. All ages.

COURTESY OF BENJAMIN CARAGOL

Puddle of Mudd, Smoochknob, Silversafe

folklore. Sonically, the band is both driving and bubbly, proving that Shannon and the Clams are more than their 7.1 Pitchfork rating. KAITIE TODD. Rotture, 315 SE 3rd Ave., 2345683. 9 pm. $12 advance, $14 day of show. 21+.

Ashleigh Flynn, Virginia Cohen

[DECEMBERIST] Ashleigh Flynn is a talented multi-instrumentalist best known for her work with the Decemberists. Her most recent LP, A Million Stars, reminds of Bonnie Raitt, albeit with even more roots and twang and frequent hits of ragtime and Prohibition-era jazz.

Tonight, Flynn celebrates the winter solstice with a live recording, featuring the help of five other musicians known as the Low Arc of the Sun Orchestra. With mandolins and upright basses in the fray, it promises to be an old-time affair. MARK STOCK. Secret Society Lounge, 116 NE Russell St., 493-3600. 7 pm. $12.

21+.

MONDAY, DEC. 22 Thirsty City: Zoo?, Snitches, Deaed Language, Bloodmoney, DJ Northern Draw

[TRIPPED-HOP] The Renaissance Coalition is Portland’s most visionary hip-hop crew, and the baritone-voiced Zoo? might be its most wigged-out member. Just check out the spiked Kool-Aid hallucinations of his “Nobody Loves a Genius Child” video for proof. The Know, 2026 NE Alberta St., 473-8729. 8 pm. Call venue for ticket information. 21+.

INTRODUCING BURIALS

BY N AT HA N CA RSON

Who: Benjamin Caragol (guitars, vocals), Adam Wheeler (bass, vocals), Isaac Davis (drums), Fester (guitars).

Sounds like: A battle between marauding Viking ships and deadly sea serpents that just want to be left alone.

For fans of: Enslaved, Converge, Neurosis, ABC Diabolo.

Why you care: According to Benjamin Caragol, founder of local metal quartet Burials, none of his bandmates wanted to be in a metal band. “We all wanted to do some weird, progressive thing,” he says with a laugh. “And then we started jamming and we decided to play metal. Coming at it from that angle definitely influenced the way we approach written heavy music, though.”

The nucleus of the band met at a local grind show back in 2008. Over the last six years, the group has grown its fan base the old-fashioned way: by recording, touring relentlessly, and generally being awesome. Burials just returned from another mini-tour of the Northwest, but Denver is the farthest east the band has ventured.

“Most people I know tour the whole coast, just to make enough money to tour the other coast,” Caragol says. “Then they tour that just to make enough money to get home. But I guess that’s what being in a DIY band is all about.”

In 2013, Burials released its stunning sophomore album, The Tide. The album features sweeping black-metal passages, tranquil interludes and frantic, hardcore-inspired blasting. After a 12-month wait, the album is finally appearing on vinyl. It’s the first recording to feature the expanded Burials, which has grown from a trio to a twin-guitar monstrosity with the addition of the producer known only as Fester. Incorporating the band’s progressive tendencies, The Tide took it to ever more blurring, epic vistas, yet its latest batch of as-yet-unreleased songs are being honed to razor sharpness.

“There is this intense embracing of traditionalism going on,” Caragol says. “Ultimately I’m always the most excited about writing and listening to stuff that makes me think about music in a different way. Pushing the envelope. Pushing the button.”

SEE IT: Burials plays Rotture, 315 SE 3rd Ave., with Wayfarer and Bastard Feast, on Wednesday, Dec. 17. 9 pm. $6 advance, $8 day of show. 21+.

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CLASSICAL, ETC.

CLASSICAL, JAZZ & WORLD

ALBUM REVIEWS

In Mulieribus

SAMA DAMS COMFORT IN DOUBT (SELF-RELEASED)

[SEASONAL CHORAL] Some of Christianity’s most evocative writings appear in the short sentences recited before or after a psalm or canticle during a religious service.

Not surprisingly, some of history’s greatest composers have chosen to set those texts, called antiphons, to music—especially those associated with the pre-Christmas Advent season. Some of Portland’s finest singers, the all-star women’s vocal ensemble In Mulieribus will sing a wide range of Advent antiphons, composed over half a millennium, by medieval composer Hildegard of Bingen, Renaissance composers Orlando di Lasso, Josquin des Prez, John Taverner and others. BRETT CAMPBELL. St. Philip Neri Church, 2408 SE 16th Ave., 764-7525. 7:30 pm Friday, Dec. 19. $25 premium seating, $20 general admission, $15 students and seniors.

Muse:forward

[IN C(ELEBRATION)] It’s been a half-century since California composer Terry Riley put a pulse to repeating melodic patterns and pioneered the groovy minimalism that has become among the 20th century’s most influential and popular musical styles, informing rock, dance music, electronica, even TV commercials, film soundtracks and video games. On Sunday, musicians all over the world will celebrate by performing Riley’s groundbreaking 1964 In C, which has become the “This Land Is Your Land” of contemporary classical music. Portland’s monthly emerging music salon, Muse:forward, is hosting a local performance and inviting musicians to download the short score: Bring an instrument and join the party. An open forum for emerging music follows at 8 pm.

BRETT CAMPBELL. The Waypost, 3120 N Williams Ave., 367-3182. 7 pm Sunday, Dec. 21. Free. 21+.

Mark O’Connor & Friends

[APPALACHIAN CHRISTMAS] Before he became the focus of recent national media stories for questioning the Suzuki teaching method, Seattle-born violinist Mark O’Connor was best known as maybe the world’s finest fiddler, garnering Grammy Awards galore for his work in bluegrass, country, folk and classical recordings and even composing attractive concertos and chamber music. This concert of arrangements of Christmas classics from his chart-topping 2011 Appalachian Christmas album won’t include the album’s starry guests but will feature bluegrasser Cia Cherryholmes, dynamic Austin fiddler-singer Carrie Rodriguez, guitarist Joe Smart, bassist Michael Rinne and O’Connor’s son Forrest on mandolin and vocals. BRETT CAMPBELL. Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall, 1037 SW Broadway, 248-4335. 7:30 pm Monday, Dec. 22. $8.50-$57. All ages.

Unsilent Night

[ALT-CLASSICAL MUSIC MARCH] Around Christmas 1992, New York composer Phil Kline rounded up some friends with boomboxes and passed out cassettes that held one of four tracks for a new piece of minimalist music he’d composed.

They all pressed “play,” and off they strolled, Kline’s immersive music reverberating off the buildings of Greenwich Village. The phenomenon has since spread to over 50 cities, with some winter marches drawing well over 1,000 participants. To participate in this year’s Portland event, which starts at the art museum and wends through downtown for an hour, download tracks from unsilentnight.com, bring a portable device with a speaker, and join the procession. BRETT CAMPBELL. Portland Art Museum, 1219 SW Park Ave., 2260973. 6 pm Tuesday, Dec. 23. Free.

All ages.

MUSIC

[AVANT ROCK] It might always be necessary to distinguish Sam Adams from Portland’s former mayor-turned-DJ. But as the frontman for his almost eponymous band, Sama Dams, the other Adams has done a damn good job distinguishing himself. On its new album, Comfort in Doubt, the band continues to build on its art-rock and prog influences, with lopsided grooves, searing guitar solos and labyrinthine melodies brought to life by Adams’ malleable voice. Yet amid all the album’s twists and tricks, Comfort in Doubt also displays some of the strongest, most accessible songs that Adams and company have produced.

Album opener “My Ears Are Ringing” builds from a simmer to a roar thanks to a sparse groove from drummer Chris Hermsen and a soaring hook that showcases Adams’ dead-on harmonies with his wife, singer-organist Lisa. Lisa Adams plays a bigger role on this record than previous projects, and she’s a welcome influence: She penned the crushing, bass-heavy “Dirty Work” and is a haunting vocal presence throughout. Several standout tracks feature her on lead vocals, including the ominous, odd-meter epic “Cold Snap” and “Maggie,” a ukulele-driven number that’s been a highlight of the band’s recent live sets.

The album has its fair share of danceable grooves and sporadic sunniness, but it feels like a wholly natural next step from the band. The only live cut, an older song called “Tiger,” feels right at home on the record. Comfort in Doubt is the rare release that is both inviting and aggressively challenging. Sama Dams will soon need no introduction. TREE PALMEDO.

Robt Sarazin Blake & The put-it-all-down-in-a Letters Al’s Den –Crystal Hotel Dec 14-20 7pm no cover Guests17 John Elliott 18 Catherine Feeny 19 Nick Jaina 20 The Reverie Machine

SEE IT: Sama Dams plays Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside St., with Grandparents and WL, on Wednesday, Dec. 17. 9 pm. $5. 21+.

PSYCHOMAGIC BAD IDEAS (LOLIPOP) [GARAGE POP] Zaniness is an underrated quality in rock ’n’ roll. It reached peak value around the Lollapalooza era, then plummeted in the late ’90s as the market flooded with neo-swing bands dressed like Dick Tracy villains, and fluorescent-haired pop-punk dudes writing entire albums around dick jokes. After a decade reigned over by disaffected cool and indie pretensions, though, music with a sense of mischief is once again a rising commodity. There are a lot of bands in Portland playing retropsychedelic garage rock, but Psychomagic stands out among them precisely for the advanced silly streak running through its genes.

Bad Ideas, the group’s second album and first for L.A. cassette label Lolipop, has fewer overt goofs than its self-released debut— which included songs adapted from an unfinished puppet musical written by singer-guitarist Steven Fusco—but the tunes that stick the strongest are those in which the band allows its freak flag to fly at full mast. “Your EBT (Can’t Buy My Love)” is a rollicking kiss-off for the starving creative class. The paisley-print “Flowers on the Sun” frolics through a field of love-stoned hippie-dippieisms, with jangly guitars and an insistent la-la-la chorus. A former children’s musician, Fusco is a vocal character actor, affecting a lascivious faux-British snarl on the hip-swiveling “Go-Go Ladies (From Outer Space)” and the grinding “Your Lover” and shifting into a dead-on Donovan impression for the slow-burning closer “Sun Song.” For the title track and album centerpiece, Fusco goes fullon Bobby “Boris” Pickett, monster-mashing in a Transylvanian accent over groovy Farfisa organ.

Of course, the trick to pulling this off is letting the music keep a straight face, and Psychomagic, which delivered one of the standout sets at this year’s PDX Pop Now, have grown into a seriously tight ensemble. Let’s just hope its members never take themselves too seriously. MATTHEW SINGER. SEE IT: Psychomagic plays Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., with Minden and Talkative, on Saturday, Dec. 20. 9 pm. $7. 21+.

For more Music listings, visit Willamette Week DECEMBER 17, 2014 wweek.com

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Willamette Week DECEMBER 17, 2014 wweek.com

MUSIC CALENDAR

[DEC. 17-23] Andina Restaurant

= ww Pick. Highly recommended.

Editor: Mitch Lillie. TO HAVE YOUR EVENT LISTED, send show information at least two weeks in advance on the web at wweek.com/submitevents. Press kits, CDs and especially vinyl can be sent to Music Desk, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Please include show or release date information with all physical mailings. Email: music@wweek.com.

For more listings, check out wweek.com.

1314 NW Glisan St, Neftali Rivera (Solo)

Biddy McGraw’s

6000 NE Glisan St. Chuck Warda, Hairy Mary and the Barry’s

Blue diamond

LAST WEEK LIVE THOMAS TEAL

2016 NE Sandy Blvd.

Ben Jones and Friends

chapel Pub

430 N Killingworth St. Steve Kerin

dante’s

350 W Burnside St Hot Panda, Page Turner

doug Fir Lounge

830 E Burnside St. The Muffs, Summer Cannibals, The Suicide Notes

duff’s Garage

2530 NE 82nd Ave Tough Love Pyle

edgefield

2126 SW Halsey St. Dandys Christmas Dinner and a Show

Hawthorne Theatre

1507 SE Cesar E. Chavez Blvd.

We Rise the Tides, Upon A Broken Path, From The Eyes Of Cain, A World Without, Lavoe, Without A Crow

Hawthorne Theatre Lounge

MERRILL’S PLAYHOUSE: “Those inflatable worms kind of look like dicks,” said a guy in the crowd at the start of Tune-Yards’ show at Roseland Theater on Dec. 12. The Oakland experimental pop group certainly does have a preference for odd stage props. The stage was draped in baby-pink linens, large googly eyes, toy cacti and, yes, giant inflatable earthworms—an aesthetic best described as “Southwestern peyote daydream.” Between the stage design and her penchant for strumming a ukulele and writing tongue-in-cheek, nursery-rhyme-style lyrics, it can be argued that frontwoman Merrill Garbus is a tad too cutesy for her own good. Once her powerhouse vocals echoed through the Roseland on songs like “Bizness” and “Water Fountain,” though, it became clear that she is a serious musician and commanding performer. Tune-Yards sell out venues around the world not only because of the sonic innovation or the dexterity of Garbus’ vocals but because of the endless creative energy shared onstage between her band and the audience. Its music is something of an acquired taste, but the live show is the fastest way to get acclimated.

ASHLEY JOCZ. Read the full review at wweek.com/lastweeklive.

wed. dec. 17 Al’s den

303 SW 12th Ave. Robert Sarazin Blake

Alberta Rose Theatre 3000 NE Alberta St. Magical Strings 36th Annual Celtic Yuletide Concert

Blue diamond

2016 NE Sandy Blvd.

The Fenix Project

crystal Ballroom

1332 W Burnside Street Phantogram

dante’s

350 W Burnside St OR Solo Artist Awards and Local Showcase

doug Fir Lounge

830 E Burnside St. Sama Dams, Grandparents, WL

duff’s Garage

2530 NE 82nd Ave Suburban Slims Blues Jam, Arthur Moore’s Harmonica Party

Hawthorne Theatre

1507 SE 39th Ave. Joyce Manor, Toys That Kill, & Guests

Hawthorne Theatre 1507 SE 39th Ave. Poison’Us (Tribute to Poison), Heart Beat, TouchN, LoveN, SqueezeN

Holocene

1001 SE Morrison St. Tender Age, Appendixes, Warm Hands

Jimmy Mak’s

221 NW 10th Ave. The Christopher Brown Quartet, Mel Brown Quartet

Kells

112 SW 2nd Ave. Bill Tollner

Landmark Saloon

4847 SE Division St. Whiskey Wednesday: Jake Ray & The Cowdogs

LaurelThirst Public House

2958 NE Glisan St. Max’s Midnight Kitchen (9 pm); Big E & the Stomp, Max’s Midnight Kitchen (6 pm)

Mississippi Studios

3939 N Mississippi Ave. Magic Mouth, Swahili

O’connor’s Vault

7850 SW Capitol HWy David Freisen Christmas Concert

Reed college

3203 SE Woodstock Blvd.

John Vergin, ‘December’s Tale’

Tony Starlight Showroom

1125 SE Madison It’s a Tony Starlight Christmas

Rock creek Tavern

Trail’s end Saloon

Roseland Theater

white eagle Saloon

10000 NW Old Cornelius Pass Rd. Brady Goss 8 NW 6th Ave. Skinny Puppy, VNV Nation, Haujobb

Rotture

315 SE 3rd Ave. Burials, Wayfarer, Bastard Feast

St Henry catholic church

346 NW 1st St, Handel’s Messiah & Judas Maccabeus

Star Theater

13 NW 6th Ave. Nick Thomas

The Know

2026 NE Alberta St. Man Repellant, Destroyed for Comfort

The Lehrer

8775 SW Canyon Ln. The Spitfires

The Lodge Bar & Grill 6605 SE Powell Blvd.

Pete Ford Band

1320 Main Street Big Monti

836 N Russell St. Snowblind Traveler, Evan Way, Supercrow, Grand Lake Islands

wilf’s Restaurant & Bar 800 NW 6th Ave. Ron Steen Band

wonder Ballroom 128 NE Russell St. The Grouch & Eligh

THuRS. dec. 18 Al’s den

303 SW 12th Ave. Robert Sarazin Blake

Alberta Rose Theatre

3000 NE Alberta St. 2nd Annual Keepin’-It-InThe-Fam Holiday Show

Alberta Street Public House

1036 NE Alberta St. JoyTribe and Dark Matter Transfer

1503 SE Cesar E Chavez Blvd.

Steven Roth, Wooden Sleepers, Feral Harp

Jimmy Mak’s

221 NW 10th Ave. Mel Brown B3 Organ Group

Kells

112 SW 2nd Ave. Bill Tollner

LaurelThirst Public House

2958 NE Glisan St. Amelia Circle, The June Bugs (9 pm); Redray Frazier (6 pm)

Mississippi Studios

3939 N Mississippi Ave. Secret Drum Band, Dana Valatka, Paper/Upper/ Cuts, Ben Stoller

Ponderosa Lounge

10350 N Vancouver Way Rebels on the Run, Moonshine Bandits

Ringlers Pub

1332 W Burnside The Windshield Vipers

Rock creek Tavern

10000 NW Old Cornelius Pass Rd. Mexican Gunfight

Rotture

315 SE 3rd Ave. Ephemeros, Worm Ouroboros, Dispossessed, Noesis

St. Mary’s Academy 1615 SW 5th Ave. Christmas Revels

Star Theater

13 NW 6th Ave. X with The Blasters

The Secret Society 116 NE Russell St. The Ukeladies

The waypost coffeehouse & Tavern

3120 N Williams Ave. The Famous Haydell Sisters Christmas Special

Tony Starlight Showroom

1125 SE Madison It’s a Tony Starlight Christmas

Vie de Boheme

1530 SE 7th Ave. Karen Lovely’s Living Room Series

white eagle Saloon 836 N Russell St. My Goodness, Chris Baron & Friends

wonder Ballroom

128 NE Russell St. Jason Webley & Friends, Chicken John Rinaldi

FRi. dec. 19 Al’s den

303 SW 12th Ave. Robert Sarazin Blake

Aladdin Theater

3017 SE Milwaukie Ave. Josh Garrels & Liz Vice, Evan Way and Wesley Randolph Eader

Alhambra Theatre

4811 SE Hawthorne Blvd.

Big & Twisted Holiday Jam, Rainbow Electric and Boomhower, Potluck, Johnny Richter, Liquid Assassin, Black Pegasus

Andina Restaurant 1314 NW Glisan St, Nat Hulskamp (Trio)

Arlene Schnitzer concert Hall

LaurelThirst Public House

2958 NE Glisan St. Medicine Family, Lowlight (9:30 pm); Michael Hurley & the Croakers (6 pm)

Lincoln Hall at PSu 1620 SW Park Ave Cracked

Magnolia’s corner

4075 NE Sandy Blvd Eric John Kaiser

Metropolitan Bistro and Bar

16755 SW Baseline Rd Jay Purvis

10350 N Vancouver Way McKenna Faith

Rock creek Tavern

10000 NW Old Cornelius Pass Rd. Brad Creel and the Reel Deel

Roseland Theater

8 NW 6th Ave. Warrant/Jack Russells Great White, Black N Blue

Rotture

315 SE 3rd Ave. Boudica, Ritual Healing, Grim Ritual, Zorakarer

Sandy Hut

1430 NE Sandy Blvd.

48 Thrills, Brigadier, Chad Bandit

St Matthew catholic church

1615 SW 5th Ave. Christmas Revels

Blue diamond

2408 SE 16th Ave. In Mulieribus

St. Philip Neri church

Star Theater

888 Liberty St. NE Mark MacMinn

13 NW 6th Ave. Grand Royale, Ruth and The Reason, DJ Zimmie

club 21

Starday Tavern

6517 SE Foster Road The Welfare State/David Stoops

The Know

2026 NE Alberta St. Levon’s Helmet, Fools Rush, Sweeping Exits

Biddy McGraw’s

6000 NE Glisan St. Jenny Sizzler

Blue diamond

2016 NE Sandy Blvd.

The Bottleneck Blues Band

clyde’s Prime Rib Restaurant & Bar

5474 NE Sandy Blvd.

Andy Stokes

crystal Ballroom

1332 W Burnside Street The Dandy Warhols Pagan Christmas, The Upsidedown

dante’s

350 W Burnside St A Rockabilly Xmas: Danny B. Harvey, Annie Marie Lewis

doug Fir Lounge

830 E Burnside St. Worthy, Astronomar, Lassi, Gang$ign$, ASW, Tourmaline b2b Valen

duff’s Garage

2530 NE 82nd Ave Fondells

edgefield

2126 SW Halsey St. Casey Hurt, Dickens Carolers

Gemini Lounge

6526 SE Foster Rd. Amber Harlan Granmo Jazz Trio

Hawthorne Theatre

The Muddy Rudder Public House

Hotel Oregon

830 E Burnside St. The Lower 48, Brownish Black, Moon By You

duff’s Garage

2530 NE 82nd Ave Robbie Laws, Jon Koonce & The Vermadons, Alicin Rice

8105 SE 7th Ave. The Junebugs

The Refuge Portland 116 SE Yamhill Green Velvet

The Secret Society

The Spare Room

1507 SE 39th Ave. Love and Light, Vibesquad

4830 NE 42nd Ave Life During Wartime & Glass Of Hearts

The Lehrer

Jade Lounge

Tony Starlight Showroom

The Lodge Bar & Grill

Jantzen Beach Bar & Grill

1125 SE Madison It’s a Tony Starlight Christmas

Jimmy Mak’s

4144 SE 60th Ave. Twitch Silverback

8105 SE 7th Ave. Sleepy Eyed Johns

1037 SW Broadway Cirque Musica

doug Fir Lounge

8775 SW Canyon Ln. Lisa Mann & Her Really Good Band, Crosby Tyler

Hawthorne Theatre

The Muddy Rudder Public House

Arlene Schnitzer concert Hall

The Lehrer

350 W Burnside St The Stumptown Soul Holiday Spectacular

The Know

6605 SE Powell Blvd.

Ben Rice B3 Trio

Andina Restaurant

dante’s

1937 SE 11th Ave. Analog Mistress, Too Long Sparks

8775 SW Canyon Ln. Big Monti

Alhambra Theatre

1507 SE Cesar E. Chavez Blvd.

Yung Lean & Sad Boys, Gravity Boys

The GoodFoot Lounge

2026 NE Alberta St. Feel Young, Pil Wonder, Chris Sutton

SAT. dec. 20 Al’s den

1314 NW Glisan St, Sonasi Quartet

116 NE Russell St. The Student Loan Strigband, Wild Rabbit & Goodnight, Texas, Boy & Bean

2845 SE Stark St. Yak Attack

800 NW 6th Ave. Ed Bennett Quintet

Ponderosa Lounge

701 SW 6th Ave. Gerardo Calderon Choir

St. Mary’s Academy

5474 NE Sandy Blvd.

Norman Sylvester

wilf’s Restaurant & Bar

4811 SE Hawthorne Blvd.

Two Planets, Coco Columbia, Xperience

6000 NE Glisan St. Counterfeit Cash, Whiskey or the Concrete

clyde’s Prime Rib Restaurant & Bar

836 N Russell St. Jim Creek, Reverb Brothers

Pioneer courthouse Square

3939 N Mississippi Ave. Juno What?!

Biddy McGraw’s

2035 NE Glisan St. Nasalrod, Down Gown, Queen Chief

white eagle Saloon

303 SW 12th Ave. Robert Sarazin Blake

1037 SW Broadway Cirque Musica

Boon’s Treasury

1530 SE 7th Ave. Bart Hafeman & Hit MachineChristmas Party

Mississippi Studios

447 SE 3rd Ave Handel’s Messiah & Judas Maccabeus

2016 NE Sandy Blvd.

Amy Keys

Vie de Boheme

Firkin Tavern

2342 SE Ankeny St. The Hollerbodies

909 N. Hayden Island Dr. Cadillacs for Everyone 221 NW 10th Ave. SoulMates Salute Stevie Wonder

Torta-Landia

310 NE Evans St. John Bunzow

LaurelThirst Public House

2958 NE Glisan St. Fernando Viciconte, Smokey Brights (Seattle) (9:30 pm); Alice Stuart (6 pm)

Lewis & clark college, Agnes Flanagan chapel

0615 SW Palatine Hill Rd Handel’s Messiah & Judas Maccabeus

Metropolitan Bistro and Bar

16755 SW Baseline Rd Jay Purvis

Mississippi Studios

3939 N Mississippi Ave. Psychomagic, Minden

CONT. on page 37 Willamette Week DECEMBER 17, 2014 wweek.com

35

HEADOUT PG. 25

7 9 11

the final 6 days..

Friday, December 19th

AC/DC ROCK OR BUST CD $15.99 $11.99 VINYL $25.99 $18.99

Sunday, December 21st Leonard Cohen Popular Problems CD $14.99 $11.99 VINYL $27.99 $20.99

Tuesday, December 23rd PDX Pop Now! 2014 Compilation 2 CD Set

$6.99

8

Saturday, December 20th The Postal Service Everything Will Change DVD/Blu-Ray Combo Pack $15.99 $11.99

Monday, December 22nd Willie Nelson & Sister Bobbie

10

December Day: Willie’s Stash, Vol. 1 CD $14.99 $10.99

Wednesday, December 24th Music Millennium Pint Glasses

12

$5 Buy One Get One Free!

prices valid on day indicated only, present coupon upon purchase, limited to stock on hand, may not be combined with any other offers. Hold on to this coupon, may be used each day of sale

36

Willamette Week DECEMBER 17, 2014 wweek.com

MUSIC CALENDAR

K i m S h at t u c K

dec. 17–23

BiG WHooP-DEE-Doo: The Muffs play Doug Fir Lounge on Thursday, Dec. 18.

Ponderosa Lounge

10350 N Vancouver Way Home for the Holidays, Jackson Michelson & Jessie Goergen

Rotture

315 SE 3rd Ave. Correction House, Statiqbloom, Atriarch, Thrones, Living Fear Mask

St. Mary’s Academy 1615 SW 5th Ave. Christmas Revels

The GoodFoot Lounge

2845 SE Stark St. Garcia Birthday Band, Winter Solstice Party

The Muddy Rudder Public House 8105 SE 7th Ave. BassMandolin

The Secret Society

116 NE Russell St. Rock for Damon, Oh Darling, Derby, Everything’s Jake

The Spare Room

4830 NE 42nd Ave Cool Breeze

The Tonic Lounge

3100 NE Sandy Blvd.

Punk Drunk Christmas 4: The War on Christmas

Tony Starlight Showroom 1125 SE Madison It’s a Tony Starlight Christmas

Torta-Landia

4144 SE 60th Ave. David Kelley

Trail’s End Saloon 1320 Main Street Brady Goss

Vie De Boheme

1530 SE 7th Ave. The Ken DeRouchie Band

White Eagle

836 N Russell St. Shannon Tower Band, Soul Progression, Annie Vergnetti, DoveDriver

Woodstock Wine & Deli 4030 SE Woodstock Ave. David Friesen

Zion Lutheran Church

1015 SW 18th Ave Portland Symphonic Girlchoir Holiday Concert

Sun. DEC. 21 Al’s Den

303 SW 12th Ave. Vivid Curve

Andina Restaurant 1314 NW Glisan St, Danny Romero

Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall 1037 SW Broadway Comfort & Joy: A Classical Christmas

Blue Diamond

2016 NE Sandy Blvd.

Kevin Selfe and the Tornadoes Jam Session

Doug Fir Lounge

830 E Burnside St. Symmetry/Symmetry Album Release

Duff’s Garage

2530 NE 82nd Ave Rhythym Renegades

Edgefield

2126 SW Halsey St. Kris Deelane’s Sun Celebration

Elsinore Theatre

170 High St. SE Sing We Now of Christmas

Hawthorne Theatre Lounge

1503 SE Cesar E Chavez Blvd.

The Panic, Citizen Patrol, Andromeda Sun, Random Axe, Pull For Fire, DarKenSide, We Are Alcohol, Moon By You, The Bass Mints

Kells

112 SW 2nd Ave. Pat Buckley

LaurelThirst Public House 2958 NE Glisan St. Freak Mountain Ramblers

Lewis & Clark college, Agnes Flanagan Chapel 0615 SW Palatine Hill Rd Handel’s Messiah & Judas Maccabeus

Pioneer Courthouse Square 701 SW 6th Ave. Flute Alliance Holiday Ensemble

Rontoms

600 E. Burnside St. Us Lights, Moniker

Rotture

315 SE 3rd Ave. Shannon and the Clams, La Luz

St. Mary’s Academy 1615 SW 5th Ave. Christmas Revels

Star Theater

13 NW 6th Ave. X with The Blasters

The Secret Society

116 NE Russell St. Ashleigh Flynn, Virginia Cohen

The Waypost Coffeehouse & Tavern 3120 N Williams Ave. Muse:forward

Tony Starlight Showroom 1125 SE Madison It’s a Tony Starlight Christmas

White Eagle Saloon

836 N Russell St. Promise the Moon, Nicole Andrews

Mon. DEC. 22 Al’s Den

303 SW 12th Ave. Vivid Curve

Andina Restaurant 1314 NW Glisan St, Jason Okamoto

Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall

1037 SW Broadway An Appalachian Christmas with Mark OConnor & Friends

Analog Cafe & Theater 720 SE Hawthorne Blvd.

People’s Ink Weekly

Andina Restaurant 1314 NW Glisan St, JB Butler

Blue Diamond

2016 NE Sandy Blvd.

A.C. Porter and Special Guests, Blue Tuesday

Cadigan’s Corner Bar 5501 SE 72nd Ave. Soul Provider, Naomi T

Blue Diamond

Dig a Pony

Dante’s

Duff’s Garage

Edgefield

Edgefield

Jade Lounge

Ford Food and Drink

2016 NE Sandy Blvd.

Hot Tea Cold 350 W Burnside St Kris Deelane 2126 SW Halsey St. Groovy Wallpaper Christmas with David Langenes

736 Southeast Grand Ave. Team Atkins 2530 NE 82nd Ave Wingtips 2126 SW Halsey St. Lewi Longmire and Anita Lee Elliot

2342 SE Ankeny St. The Global Folk Club, Andrea Wild

2505 11th Ave #101 Pagan Jug Band

Jimmy Mak’s

2342 SE Ankeny St. Lorna Miller

221 NW 10th Ave. The Dan Balmer Trio

Kells

112 SW 2nd Ave. Pat Buckley

LaurelThirst Public House 2958 NE Glisan St. Kung Pao Chickens (9 pm); Portland Country Underground (6 pm)

Rock Creek Tavern

10000 NW Old Cornelius Pass Rd. Bob Shoemaker

St. Mary’s Academy 1615 SW 5th Ave. Christmas Revels

The Know

2026 NE Alberta St. Zoo?, Snitches, Deaed Language, Bloodmoney

The Lehrer

8775 SW Canyon Ln. Organic Blue Monday, Dover Weinberg

The Muddy Rudder Public House 8105 SE 7th Ave. Lloyd Jones

Tony Starlight Showroom 1125 SE Madison It’s a Tony Starlight Christmas

White Eagle Saloon

836 N Russell St. Singer Songwriter Showcase, Eric John Kaiser

TuES. DEC. 23

Jade Lounge

Jimmy Mak’s

221 NW 10th Ave. Mel Brown Septet

Kells

112 SW 2nd Ave. Pat Buckley

LaurelThirst Public House 2958 NE Glisan St. Fields of May (9 pm); Jackstraw (6 pm)

Portland Art Museum

1219 SW Park Ave. Unsilent Night

St. Mary’s Academy 1615 SW 5th Ave. Christmas Revels

The Lehrer

8775 SW Canyon Ln. Hot Jam Night, Tracey Fordice and The 8-Balls

Tom McCall Waterfront Park 2 SW Naito Pkwy.

Shoehorn, James Clem

Tony Starlight Showroom 1125 SE Madison It’s a Tony Starlight Christmas

Triple nickel Pub

3646 SE Belmont St. Eye Candy

Vie De Boheme 1530 SE 7th Ave. Salsa Night

White Eagle Saloon

836 N Russell St. Chris Baron, December 17

Al’s Den

303 SW 12th Ave. Vivid Curve

cont. on page 39

Willamette Week DECEMBER 17, 2014 wweek.com

37

It’s time to support Portland, Portland!

Give!Guide is HeRe! giveguide.org 38

Willamette Week DECEMBER 17, 2014 wweek.com

dec. 17–23

MUSIC CALENDAR w w s ta f f

BAR SPOTLIGHT

Where to drink this week.

1. Savoy Tavern 2500 SE Clinton St., 808-9999, savoypdx.com. all-way Restaurant’s In-NOut-style burgers just got added to savoy’s menu next to all those Mule variations and infused liquors, making this a fine place to eat and drink casually near the toniest restaurants in Portland.

2. BTU Brasserie 5846 NE Sandy Blvd., 971-407-3429, btupdx.com.

Not only has the food gotten spicier since the place opened, but this Chinese restaurant and brewpub now offers an herbal lager with rice flavor that pairs beautifully with the food.

3. The Knock Back 2315 NE Alberta St., 284-4090, theknockback.com. the Knock Back has added top-notch bartender Jesse Card to make an unlikely transition to fine cocktail bar, with whiskey cocktails using pumpkin, quince or Madeira as mixers.

4. Lucky Horseshoe Lounge 2524 SE Clinton St., 764-9898. the loosely westernthemed Lucky Horseshoe keeps a neon horseshoe in the window, its bottles in a metal tub on the bar, and its Occidental or Gigantic beers on tap at a cool $4.

5. Big Trouble 329 NW Couch St., bigtroublepdx.com. this kitschy Old town DJ haunt is run, incongruously, as part of Kurt Huffman’s upscale Chefstable empire. But the cocktail list is solid and cheap, and the $5 Chineseish bites are very serviceable.

TATER TOSS: Teaming craft beer with fancy french fries makes a lot of sense. So far, the smartest move made by the owners of the young Civic Taproom & Bottle Shop (621 SW 19th Ave., thecivictaproom.com) is entrusting their kitchen to the neighboring Boise Fry Company, an Idahobased chainlette that serves a bewildering assortment of fries and dips.

Tater-wise, alone, you have russet, purple, gold, sweet, Okinawa or yam (deep breath) shaped into shoestring, regular, homestyle or curly fries, or into balls. The comparatively spartan Civic should take a cue from its neighbor. The space itself is fine, with concrete floors, big windows, a case of bottles and a few flat-screen TVs showing sports. The beer list, though, could stand to be a little more adventurous. Among the 12 sudsy taps (wine and cider get another 10), there’s Rainier, Alameda Black Bear Stout, Worthy Lights Out Stout and HUB lager, all of which are fine beers, but also available in bottles or cans at Fred Meyer in Tualatin. Civic has space to thrive: Service is pleasant, this stretch of West Burnside Street is otherwise hurting for beery bars, and the closing of the Matador and Blitz 21 leaves Timbers fans with few options for pregaming. Even with a second-string tap lineup, I’d take Civic in a matchup with its nearby rivals thanks to that assist from Boise. MARTIN CIZMAR.

Valentines

232 SW Ankeny St. DJ Theo

sAT. dec. 20 wed. dec. 17 Ground Kontrol classic Arcade 511 NW Couch St. TRONix

Moloko Plus

3967 N Mississippi Ave. King Tim 33 1/3

The Lovecraft

421 SE Grand Ave. Event Horizon, Industrial Dance Night

Thurs. dec. 18 dig a Pony

736 Southeast Grand Ave. Aan DJs

holocene

1001 SE Morrison St. Club Chemtrail: SPF666, Commune

The Lovecraft

421 SE Grand Ave. Shadowplay

fri. dec. 19 dig a Pony

736 Southeast Grand Ave. Jimbo

holocene

1001 SE Morrison St. RockBox, DJ Kez, Matt Nelkin

Moloko Plus

3967 N Mississippi Ave. DJ Maximillion

rae’s Lakeview Lounge 1900 NW 27th Ave DJ A-Minus

The Goodfoot Lounge

2845 SE Stark St. Soul Stew with DJ Aquaman

The Lovecraft

421 SE Grand Ave. Electronomicon

The Tonic Lounge

3100 NE Sandy Blvd.

Believe You Me, Nikita, Centrikal, Andy Warren

Valentines

232 SW Ankeny St. Pure Surface

Mon. dec. 22

holocene

cadigan’s corner Bar

Jones Bar

Ground Kontrol classic Arcade

1001 SE Morrison St. Gaycation: Mr. Charming, DJ Snowtiger 107 NW Couch St Saturday Nights at Jones Bar

rae’s Lakeview Lounge 1900 NW 27th Ave DJ Torsion

roseland Theater 8 NW 6th Ave. Brillz, Snails

The Tonic Lounge

3100 NE Sandy Blvd.

DIZ

Valentines

232 SW Ankeny St. The Funk of 40,000 Years

sun. dec. 21 The whiskey Bar 31 NW 1st Ave Darude

5501 SE 72nd Ave. Fight Church TV, Jessie

511 NW Couch St. Metal Mondays, Metal Kyle and DJ Shreddy Krueger

The Lovecraft

421 SE Grand Ave. Departures, DJ Waisted and Friends

Valentines

232 SW Ankeny St. Slow Looks

Tues. dec. 23 The Lodge Bar & Grill 6605 SE Powell Blvd.

DJ Easy Finger

The Lovecraft

421 SE Grand Ave. Bones with DJ Aurora

Valentines

232 SW Ankeny St. Autonomics

Willamette Week DECEMBER 17, 2014 wweek.com

39

PERFORMANCE

dec. 17–23

= WW Pick. Highly recommended.

Most prices listed are for advance ticket sales. At-the-door increases and so-called convenience charges may apply, so it’s best to call ahead.

Editor: REBECCA JACOBSON. Theater: REBECCA JACOBSON (rjacobson@wweek.com). Dance: KAITIE TODD (dance@wweek.com).

BRUD GILES

TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, submit information at least two weeks in advance to: rjacobson@wweek.com.

course, makes it fodder for a spoof.

Hence A Miracle on 43rd Street: A Holiday Radio Massacre, the second installment in Bag & Baggage’s 1940s radio-themed Christmas shows, again directed by Scott Palmer. The recipe goes a little something like this: Take one beloved Christmas story and add a radio recording studio, a dash of disaster and a heaping helping of slapstick and bam! You’ve got yourself a new kind of holiday hit. Prepare yourself for a lot of corpse gags, sound effectsrelated humor and bouncing boobs— because nothing says “the birth of Christ” like the kind of cleavage that would accommodate all three wise men. DEBORAH KENNEDY. Venetian Theatre, 253 E Main St., Hillsboro, 693-3953. 7:30 pm ThursdaysSaturdays and 2 pm Sundays through Dec. 23. Additional performances 7:30 pm Monday-Tuesday, Dec. 22-23. $22-$32.

The Mystery of Irma Vep

BAH HUMBUG: A Christmas Carol plays at Portland Playhouse through Dec. 28.

THEATER

Sundays through Dec. 28. For additional showtimes, see portlandplayhouse.org. $20-$36.

OPENINGS & PREVIEWS

A Christmas Survival Guide

Christmas Revels

For 20 years, Portland Revels has celebrated the winter solstice with songs and dances from different eras and regions—this time, 17th-century England. St. Mary’s Academy, 1615 SW 5th Ave., 200-1604. 7:30 pm ThursdayFriday, Dec. 18-19; 1 and 7:30 pm Saturday-Sunday, Dec. 20-21; 7:30 pm Monday-Tuesday, Dec. 22-23. $7-$39.

Honoring the Dark, Waking the Light

This installment of storyteller Brian Rohr’s monthly series features myths about light, darkness and the solstice.

Awakenings Wellness Center, 1016 SE 12th Ave., 544-3838. 7:30 pm Friday, Dec. 19. $15.

ALSO PLAYING 5 Lesbians Eating a Quiche

Which came first, the chicken or the egg? The answer doesn’t matter much to the main characters in 5 Lesbians Eating a Quiche, as long as there are eggs, and plenty of them. Set in 1956 in an unnamed town, the comedy— written by Evan Linder and Andrew Hobgood and presented by Triangle Productions—centers on the Susan B. Anthony Society for the Sisters of Gertrude Stein. As the play begins, the society’s five officers are preparing for their annual quiche competition. But then a nuclear holocaust hits, rendering those in the meeting hall as the last possible hope for humanity.

5 Lesbians started off as a 10-minute play, and it might have been better suited to a shorter format. Still, it’s not without charm, and the cast brings winking amusement to the script’s many double entendres. KAITIE TODD. Sanctuary at Sandy Plaza, 1785 NE Sandy Blvd., 239-5919. 7:30 pm Thursdays-Saturdays and 2 pm Sundays through Dec. 20. $15-$35.

A Christmas Carol

Portland Playhouse brings back its rollicking adaptation of Charles Dickens’ classic tale, which picked up a Drammy last June for best play.

Portland Playhouse, 602 NE Prescott St., 488-5822. 7 pm most WednesdaysSaturdays and 2 and 5 pm most

40

Broadway Rose’s holiday production A Christmas Survival Guide aims to help relieve the stress of the season.

Because what better way to alleviate those holiday headaches than with two solid hours of jokey adaptations of Christmas tunes and sentimental treacle? There’s no pretense of a plot as the four performers seek advice from a self-help book, then illustrate said advice with rousing musical numbers and middle-school pageant choreography. It’s not the fault of the performers, but no one comes out a winner shackled to this Polar Express train wreck. PENELOPE BASS. Broadway Rose New Stage Theatre, 12850 SW Grant Ave., Tigard, 620-5262. 7:30 pm WednesdaysSaturdays and 2 pm SaturdaysSundays through Dec. 21. $30-$41.

Blithe Spirit

Death is entirely a laughing matter.

At least, that’s the case in Artists Rep’s production of Blithe Spirit. Noël Coward’s 1941 comedy finds well-to-do author Charles (Michael Mendelson) inviting the spacy psychic Madame Arcati (Vana O’Brien) to his home for a séance. But the joke’s on him: The séance accidentally summons the spirit of Elvira (Sara Hennessy), Charles’ bratty first wife. Charles is the only one who can see or hear her, which leads to a slew of gags wherein his current wife, the stern Ruth (Jill Van Velzer), mistakes his jabs at Elvira for comments directed at her. Charles— played with a perfect mix of snark and charm by Mendelson—is as clever as he is cruel. The couple’s flighty maid (Val Landrum) supplies no shortage of humor, whether shrieking the names of visitors or sprinting through the house. Posh accents and a lavish set all denote that it’s a period piece, but the brisk pacing allows this show to skirt Merchant-Ivory languor. JAMES HELMSWORTH. Artists Repertory Theatre, 1515 SW Morrison St., 241-1278.

7:30 pm Wednesdays-Sundays and 2 pm Sundays through Jan. 4. $25-$55.

Frogz

Imago’s long-running extravaganza returns for the holidays. It’s a familyfriendly, fantastical show featuring elaborate costumes and impres-

Willamette Week DECEMBER 17, 2014 wweek.com

sive acrobatics. Imago Theatre, 17 SE 8th Ave., 231-3959. Many showtimes through Jan. 4. See imagotheatre.com for schedule. $17.50-$34.50.

It’s A Wonderful Life

For the third year running, Stumptown Stages presents a musical adaptation of Frank Capra’s classic movie. Brunish Theatre, 1111 SW Broadway, 248-4335.

7:30 pm Thursdays-Saturdays and 2 pm Saturdays-Sundays through Dec. 28. $29.65-$43.65.

The Maid’s Tragedy

Francis Beaumont and John Fletcher’s rarely staged 1619 revenge play The Maid’s Tragedy, like Jacobean tragedy more generally, anticipates film noir in both its fixation on female sexuality and its resolutely bleak atmosphere. Hapless hero Amintor (Steve Vanderzee) faces a situation as simple and ferocious as a bear trap: He discovers on his wedding night that his new marriage is a sham, cooked up by the wicked king to preserve his own secret affair with Amintor’s bride Evadne (Brenan Dwyer). In Northwest Classical Theatre’s incisive production, the poisonous atmosphere is apparent even before Amintor and Evadne face off beside their marriage bed. From the opening scene, as stalwart war hero Melantius (Tom Walton) declares himself unsuited to the peacetime life he’s reentering, the spectacle of unchecked violence pulses underneath each well-turned witticism and polished manipulation.

Walton and Vanderzee seethe at the corruption surrounding them, but it’s Dwyer as Evadne, alternately haughty and tormented, who makes this production incandescent. JOHN BEER. Shoebox Theater, 2110 SE 10th Ave., 971-244-3740. 7:30 pm ThursdaysSaturdays and 2 pm Sundays through Jan. 4. $20-$22.

Mary Poppins

Northwest Children’s Theatre presents a musical version of the classic tale.

NW Neighborhood Cultural Center, 1819 NW Everett St., 222-4480. Noon and 4 pm Saturdays-Sundays (and some Mondays and Tuesdays) through Jan. 4. $17-$23.

A Miracle on 43rd Street

In the green- and red-tinted pantheon of Christmas classics, Miracle on 34th Street is perhaps one of the more poignant tales. Which, of

Third Rail’s The Mystery of Irma Vep leaves little doubt about one thing: Co-stars Isaac Lamb and Leif Norby have got chops. Charles Ludlam’s 1984 cross-dressing romp—two actors, seven characters, countless costume changes—requires its performers to juggle wildly divergent accents and attitudes across a nonsensical storyline that draws from Hitchcock’s Rebecca, Wuthering Heights, schlocky horror movies and Victorian pennydreadfuls. There are werewolves, vampires and one very horny Egyptian mummy. And Lamb and Norby gallop through the proceedings with remarkable ease and evident glee. But for all its giddiness, the show doesn’t go anywhere. Unlike, say, Noises Off—Third Rail’s comedic caper of choice last winter—Ludlam’s play fails to build, instead relying on knowingly terrible puns and campy mugging. REBECCA JACOBSON. Winningstad Theatre, 1111 SW Broadway, 235-1101. 7:30 pm Thursdays-Saturdays and 2 pm Sundays through Jan. 10. $24-$47.

The Peppermint Bear Show

It’s another round of kid-friendly breakfast theater in Lake Oswego, with this year’s story involving a con man who tries to turn the elves into lifesize toys. Lakewood Center for the Arts, 368 S State St., Lake Oswego, 635-3901. 9 and 11 am Saturdays through Dec. 20. $12.

Rudolph: On Stage

Bad Reputation Productions revives its live-stage adaptation of the 1964 stop-motion TV special Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. The show pays loving homage to its source material, tugging on deep-seated nostalgia without devolving into schmaltziness.

CoHo Theater, 2257 NW Raleigh St., 220-2646. 8 pm Thursdays-Saturdays through Dec. 20. Kids’ matinee at 2 pm Saturday, Dec. 20. $21-$24.

Santa

Santa Claus is in rough shape. His suit is smudged with soot. He rings his bell like the world’s most depressed Salvation Army volunteer. Trudging onstage into a stark shaft of light, he wails and thuds to his knees, crumpling into a fetal position. Santa Claus, one of four plays by poet E.E. Cummings, is short, yet strange and layered: not only a battle between human understanding and loveless science but also a tale of reunion and reconciliation. It would seem a good fit for the experimental-leaning Liminal Performance Group, whose 2013 production of Our Town struck harmony between similar strains of warmth and menace. But despite bursts of humor and ingenuity, this hourlong show feels inchoate. As it opens, a glum Santa (Jeff Marchant) encounters the rakish Death (Leo Daedalus), who persuades him to become a scientist—or, in Death’s own words, a “knowledge salesman,” hawking nonexistent products called wheelmines. Cummings equates capital-S science with heartless materialism: a consumerist project that thrives on people’s greed. Liminal captures this deftly, projecting an Amazonesque website onto the walls during Santa’s sales pitch. But the Cummings poems director John Berendzen has slid between scenes are buried by

illegible text projections or overlapping voices. In its mere strangeness, Santa offers more than most tinsel-larded schlock being peddled in town. But it’s hard not to exit the theater without that day-after-Christmas pang of emptiness. REBECCA JACOBSON. The Back Door Theater, 4319 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 567-8309. 7:30 pm ThursdaysSaturdays and 3 and 7:30 pm Sundays through Dec. 21 (no show at 7:30 pm Dec. 21). $15-25.

The Santaland Diaries

Like Santa Claus and Rudolph, this stage adaptation of David Sedaris’ stint as a Macy’s elf will never die— we’ve lost count of how many times Portland Center Stage has produced the one-man show. Gerding Theater, 128 NW 11th Ave., 445-3700. 7:30 pm Tuesdays-Sundays and 2 pm SaturdaysSundays through Dec. 28. $25-$60.

She Loves Me

Lakewood presents the oh-so-sweet 1963 musical about feuding perfumery clerks in ‘30s Budapest who don’t realize they’re infatuated pen pals.

Lakewood Center for the Arts, 368 S State St., Lake Oswego, 635-3901. 7:30 pm Thursdays-Saturdays and 2 pm Sundays through Dec. 21. $37.

Six Characters in Search of an Author

Portland Actors Conservatory launches its 30th-anniversary season with of Luigi Pirandello’s classic absurdist play, adapted here by Steve Moulds. Local favorite Todd Van Voris joins the cast of second-year conservatory students.

Portland Actors Conservatory, 1436 SW Montgomery St., 274-1717. 7:30 pm Thursdays-Saturdays and 2 pm Sundays through Dec. 21. $5-$25.

The True Story of the 3 Little Pigs

The teen actors in Oregon Children’s Theatre’s Young Professionals program stage a musical adaptation of the much-loved picture book. Oregon Children’s Theatre Young Professionals Studio Theatre, 1939 NE Sandy Blvd., 228-9571. 10 am Fridays and 11 am and 2 pm Saturdays-Sundays through Dec. 21. $10-$12.

A Tuna Christmas

It’s not the holidays unless every theater company in town is rehashing a long-running Christmas show.

At least Oregon Repertory Theatre’s selection, set in a rabidly conservative small town in Texas, has some flawlessly executed costume changes and a few good zingers. Newmark Theatre, 1111 SW Broadway, 248-4335. 7:30 pm Thursdays-Saturdays and 2 pm Sundays, Dec. 12-21. $28.25-$50.25.

Twist Your Dickens

In a move of stunningly bad taste, Portland Center Stage brings back this spoof of A Christmas Carol. Last year’s productionleft an aftertaste worse than that of spoiled eggnog.

Gerding Theater, 128 NW 11th Ave., 445-3700. 7:30 pm Tuesdays-Sundays, 2 pm Saturdays-Sundays and noon Thursdays through Dec. 24. $29-$69.

COMEDY & VARIETY The 3rd Floor’s War On Christmas

Oversold with keening desperation, this endless succession of jokeless death marches scarcely bothers to craft a recognizable comic premise.

JAY HORTON. Miracle Theatre, 525 SE Stark St., 908-1141. 8 pm FridaysSaturdays through Dec. 20. $15-$18.

The $5 Bill

Record-store bar Turn! Turn! Turn! continues its monthly standup showcase. Tonight’s lineup features Nathan Brannon, Adam Pasi, Andie Main and Zak Toscani. Turn! Turn! Turn!, 8 NE Killingsworth St., 284-6019. 8 pm Wednesday, Dec. 17. $5.

ALL CAPS COMEDY

A heap of local comedians—including Phil Schallberger, Steven Wilber, Carson Creecy, Adam Pasi and Wallace Fessler—presents an evening of solo sketches and character-based comedy.

Funhouse Lounge, 2432 SE 11th Ave., 841-6734. 10 pm Saturday, Dec. 20. $5.

dec. 17–23

Action/Adventure’s Holiday Ball

Action/Adventure throws itself a little bash, featuring comedy, live music, dancing, a photo booth with Santa and, naturally, holidaythemed fan fic. Action/Adventure Theatre, 1050 SE Clinton St. 8 pm Friday, Dec. 19. $10 suggested.

Comedians & Comedies

For this sporadically occurring series, emcee Jenna Zine unites standup and cinema. This installment features a 30-minute set by churlish comedian Dan Weber, followed by a screening of Bad Santa. Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., 288-3895. 8 pm Sunday, Dec. 21. $8. 21+.

The Comedy Bull

Host Anatoli Brant’s competitive show requires standups to respond to surprise topics and improv challenges. Brody Theater, 16 NW Broadway, 224-2227. 9:30 pm every second Friday. $8.

Earthquake Hurricane

Kickstand Comedy—the new downstairs neighbor to Hollywood neighborhood bike shop/bar Velo Cult—continues its soft launch for a second week, with tonight’s standup showcase hosted by an army of impressive Portland comedians (well, four of them: Curtis Cook, Alex Falcone, Bri Pruett and Anthony Lopez). Four other locals—JoAnn Schinderle, Steven Wilber, Caitlin Weierhauser and Gabe Dinger—also perform sets.

Kickstand Comedy Space, 1969 NE 42nd Ave., 937-219-1334. 8:30 pm Wednesday, Dec. 17. $5 suggested.

Flying Fruitcake

In addition to original sketch comedy, improv and musical spoofs, this holiday revue also features aerial displays. Curious Comedy, 5225 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., 477-9477. 7:30 pm FridaysSaturdays through Dec. 20. $12-$15.

Friday Night Fights

Jaw Flewelling hosts a tournament of champions, featuring top improvisers from the last year. Curious Comedy, 5225 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., 477-9477. 9:30 pm every first and third Friday. $5; free with the purchase of a ticket to the 8 pm main stage show.

Golden Girls Live Christmas Special ’Tis the season for men to don fluffy wigs and oversized glasses to play the four Miami gals for this live stage adaptation of two holiday episodes of the TV show.

Funhouse Lounge, 2432 SE 11th Ave., 841-6734. 7 pm ThursdaysSaturdays through Dec. 27. $20 general, $40 VIP, $50 two-person table; $140 five-person booth.

No Pun Intendo

This monthly showcase, held in the lounge at retrocade Ground Kontrol, is chaotic, noisy and fun.

Ground Kontrol, 511 NW Couch St., 796-9364. 9 pm every third Thursday. $3.

Random Acts of Comedy

A freewheeling show that brings together sketch, standup and improv. Curious Comedy, 5225 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., 477-9477. 9:30 pm Saturdays through Dec. 27. $7-$10.

Sinbad

The veteran comedian and ‘90s sitcom star brings his clean, ebullient standup to town for a threenight stand. Helium Comedy Club, 1510 SE 9th Ave., 888-643-8669.

8 pm Thursday and 7:30 and 10 pm Friday-Saturday, Dec. 18-20. $35-$42. 21+.

A Something Kind of Musical

Domeka Parker and Aden Kirschner put on an improvised musical they promise will boast Broadway-style bravado.

Brody Theater, 16 NW Broadway, 224-2227. 7:30 pm Saturdays through Dec. 27. $9-$12.

PERFORMANCE

DANCE A Burlesque Nightmare Before Christmas

Analog Cafe’s annual holiday series salutes the movies of Tim Burton.

A pre-show circus kicks things off, featuring aerialists, juggling and other circus acts. Later, dancers take on roles like Jack Skellington, Edward Scissorhands and the Corpse Bride. Analog Cafe, 720 SE Hawthorne Blvd. 7:30 pm Sundays through Dec. 28 . $12. 21+.

Cracked

A time-honored tale with a twist, Classical Ballet Academy’s annual Cracked promises to add some new surprises to The Nutcracker.

The sugar plum fairies and toy soldiers mix jazz and modern movement with more traditional ballet, and the performance is set to contemporary music. Lincoln Hall, Portland State University, 1620 SW Park Ave., 890-6101. 8 pm Friday, Dec. 19 and 7 pm Sunday, Dec. 21. $12-$23.

NOEL: A Contemporary Ballet

Contemporary ballet company Moxie Dance Theatre teams with local aerial troupe A-WOL for a fusion of ballet and circus acts.

Set to the music of Russian pianist Sergei Rachmaninoff, NOEL features juggling, aerial dancing and contemporary ballet to tell a brand-new holiday story inspired by the creativity of the circus.

West Linn High School, 5464 W A St., West Linn, 675-4593. 2 and 7 pm Saturday-Sunday, Dec. 20-21. $20-$25.

The Nutcracker

Oregon Ballet Theatre is one of only six companies in the country granted permission to stage George Balanchine’s famous version of Tchaikovsky’s ballet, and every year it pulls out the extravagant sets and costumes to tell the classic tale of dancing candy canes, pirouetting snowflakes and sword-wielding mice.

Keller Auditorium, 222 SW Clay St., 222-5538. Many showtimes through Dec. 27. See obt.org for schedule. $25-$144.

Rue Royale

Formed by the Infamous Nina Nightshade, Sugar Kane and Sophie Maltease in spring of 2013, Rue Royale is a quarterly burlesque show devoted to old fashioned burlesque technique that draws burlesque queens from near and far. This season’s lineup consists entirely of burlesquers from the Pacific Northwest, with a handful who were trained in the art of vintage-style tease as well as in contemporary ballet.

Headliners include Miss Kitty Baby from Seattle and local burlesquer Sandria Dore’, who won Best Duo act last year at the Miss Exotic World Pageant. Ragtime group Smut City Jelly Roll Society kicks things off with a live set.

Star Theater, 13 NW 6th Ave. 8 pm Saturday, Dec. 20. $15-$75. 21+.

A Very Kubrick Christmas

We all know what happened to Jack when the dreary winter months proved a little too lonely.

Miss Kennedy’s Theater of Burlesque promises all play and no work this month, with a set of Stanley Kubrick-themed performances paying homage to all the classics by the celebrated and controversial director. Jay Leiber hosts, with performances by such local favorites as Baby LeStrange, Hyacinth Lee, Fleur de Sel, Wanda Bones, Lady Monster and Paige Rustles. Dante’s, 350 W Burnside St., 226-6630. 9 pm Sunday, Dec. 21. $12-$15. 21+.

For more Performance listings, visit Willamette Week DECEMBER 17, 2014 wweek.com

41

VISUAL ARTS

DEC. 17–23

= WW Pick. Highly recommended.

By RICHARD SPEER. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, submit show information—including opening and closing dates, gallery address and phone number—at least two weeks in advance to: Visual Arts, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Email: rspeer@wweek.com.

associates with women’s ascent into the workforce at the turn of the last century. It’s fascinating to see folds of soft fabric translated into the cold, hard medium of glass. That Straubing handles the translation so naturally is a testament to her superb technique working with a notoriously prickly material. Babette’s clothing designs are the basis for the sculptures, as well as for pieces that feature fashion sketches on paper. There’s also an interactive element, in which viewers are invited to get up close and personal with chunks of glass and swaths of fabric. On the placard are written two words you don’t often see at a gallery or museum: “Please touch.”

Through Dec. 23. Bullseye Gallery, 300 NW 13th Ave., 227-0222.

Ryan Pierce: Welcome to Coal Country

FRAGMENTS: YAQUINA BAY BRIDGE BY SANDY ROUMAGOUX

All Play & No Work

A disciplined and savvy artist with a sophisticated sense of humor, Calvin Ross Carl has quietly established himself as one of the Northwest’s most noteworthy visual thinkers. Finessing the lines between conceptual and commercial, knowing wit and sheer visual pleasure, he never condescends to the viewer. In All Play & No Work, he’s joined by Matt Jacobs for a twoperson exhibition that challenges our conception of artists as freewheeling bohemians. Through Dec. 31. HQHQ Project Space, 232 SE Oak St.

Central~Lattice Tool Array

Brenna Murphy returns to Upfor with a suite of diminutive sculptures, some of them printed with a 3-D printer and others finished with a black, lacquer-like sheen. The sculptures are displayed on a bed of silvery, reflective foil, alternating with prints of abstract vegetal motifs. With their calligraphic contours, the sculptures resemble kanji characters. Murphy supplements the installation with a video loop in which an orchid seemingly swells and dissolves into psychedelic tracers. The artist calls her exhibition “a glyphic, labyrinthian, hyper-dimensional circuit,” whatever that means. “I am building systems,” she says, “and pouring my mind through them like thread through a loom.” That’s colorful language that the show doesn’t quite live up to. In fact, the show suffers by comparison to Murphy’s 2013 collaboration with Birch Cooper, Liquid Hand. That exhibition featured similar imagery but more interactive elements, such as viewer-controlled buzzers and colored lights. Through Jan. 17. Upfor Gallery, 929 NW Flanders St., 227-5111.

42

Elizabeth Malaska: When We Dead Awaken

In her second solo show at Nationale, Elizabeth Malaska makes a spirited feminist critique of men’s domination of the realms of modern and contemporary art. The women who populate her mixed-media paintings often wield machine guns, standing defiantly in rooms filled with iconic modernist furniture. These women are mad as hell, not going to take it anymore, and are storming the boys-club establishment.

Watch out for some righteous retribution. Through Dec. 31. Nationale , 3360 SE Division St.

Emily Hanna Wyant: Gotta Make Money to Make Money

Earlier this year, as artist Emily Hanna Wyant tells it, she was pitching her conceptual artwork to local galleries.

She kept getting the same polite “no thanks” from gallerist after gallerist.

“We love what you do,” they said, “but it’s not work we could sell in a gallery.”

So Wyant decided to turn the metaphorical lemon into lemonade, creating a new body of work critiquing the object- and sales-obsessed gallery system. Tongue firmly in cheek, she has churned out dozens upon dozens of faux gold bricks, as if to flip galleries a collective bird. “Here you go,” the installation seems to shout, “a pile of tangible objects with a fixed monetary value—will that do?” This installation, entitled Counterfeit Gold Bricks, is comprised of “gold bullion” made out of spray-painted wood and cement.

Other pieces, such as Wu-Tang Clan, continue the anti-materialist riff via imagery drawn from the bling-flaunting world of hip-hop music. Through Jan. 16. Nisus Gallery, 8371 N Interstate Ave., Suite 1, 806-1427.

Willamette Week DECEMBER 17, 2014 wweek.com

James Florschutz: Wedges

A dramatic, 13-foot sculpture called Monument welcomes viewers to James Florschutz’s show at Augen. This towering obelisk commands the gallery’s DeSoto Building exhibition space in a way few other shows have, with the possible exception of Jim Riswold’s satirical installations. The title of Florschutz’s show, Wedges, is strictly descriptive. His sculptures are made from wedges of salvaged wood and other hand-gathered bric-a-brac. Some pieces look like oversized wheels of brie cheese, others like ice-cream cones.

Throughout the show, the artwork’s rough-hewn textures have an appealing tactility. Through Dec. 27. Augen DeSoto, 716 NW Davis St., 224-8182.

Michael Kenna: France

Michael Kenna’s black-and-white photographs of urban and rural scenes in France are standard-issue retreads of worn-out travel-photography tropes.

You want the Eiffel Tower framed by the branches of berry-laden trees?

Check. How about the romantic French countryside at sunset, sunbeams breaking through silvery clouds? Kenna’s got you covered. There are tree-lined boulevards and trees silhouetted against moody clouds. Did we mention there are trees? There’s also fog. And reflections in water, mostly of trees. This would make great porn for arborists.

For the rest of us, director Charles Hartman should stand by with smelling salts to revive gallerygoers who succumb to this hackneyed snoozefest.

Through Jan. 31. Charles A. Hartman Fine Art, 134 NW 8th Ave., 287-3886.

Poetic Ghost

Artist Cassandra Straubing and singlemonikered fashion designer Babette collaborate in a sprawling exhibition entitled Poetic Ghost. Using cast glass, Straubing creates sculptures in the shape of blouses, a motif she

Best known for his rhapsodic landscape paintings at Elizabeth Leach Gallery, Ryan Pierce moonlights at Nine Gallery this month with an installation consistent with his ecological leanings. The quirky mixed-media artwork in Welcome to Coal Country is protest pieces against the mining practices of Alpha Natural Resources.

Alpha uses the Pacific Northwest as a portal through which to export mined coal from Wyoming to China, an ongoing practice that Pierce finds environmentally irresponsible. This is the subject of his “Postcards From Paradise” project, free samples of which were provided at the show’s opening. For more information about how to participate in this interactive project, visit postcardsfromparadise. net. Through Dec. 28. Nine Gallery, 122 NW 8th Ave., 227-7114.

Sandy Roumagoux

Rarely do an artist’s aesthetic and political sensibilities jell as neatly as Sandy Roumagoux’s. Since 2012, this gifted painter has also been the mayor of Newport. In her series of new paintings at Blackfish, Roumagoux paints the city’s Yaquina Bridge in inventive permutations and renders seascapes of the Oregon coast as only a dedicated habitué could. In her Ocean Series II: Nye Beach Weather, limpid drips of paint complement undertraces of graphite, sensually evoking one of those fierce squalls that make life on the coast so visually and viscerally thrilling. The Yaquina Bridge, as depicted in Fragments: Yaquina Bay Bridge, is an etude of rigorous architectonic planes and sinuous curves, split into six separate canvases. Roumagoux may be Newport’s mayor, but her seductive paintings do double duty as boosters for the city’s chamber of commerce. Through Dec. 27. Blackfish Gallery, 420 NW 9th Ave., 234-2634.

Sightings

If you’ve ever been to one of those cheesy rotating restaurants on top of a tall building, you’ll understand the conceit behind Messica Mallios’ video installation, Tower of the Americas.

Mallios has set up a camera in front of the window of a rotating observation tower in San Antonio. The camera focuses not on the view outside, but

on the glass window itself, with all its smudges, cracks and dried Windex drips. By honing in on these imperfections, the artist invokes a dreary bathos: the intrusion of mundanity into an otherwise exalted vista. Paired with Kevin Cooley’s video installation, Skyward, Mallios’ contribution makes for a strong double bill in curator-inresidence Rachel Adams’ second show at Disjecta. Through Jan. 4. Disjecta, 8371 N Interstate Ave., 286-9449.

The Big 500

It’s called The Big 500, but this annual mega-show actually features work by 600 artists from the Pacific Northwest.

Each piece measures only 8 inches by 8 inches, and each sells for only $40.

Partnering with the Mark Woolley, Po Boy Art, and Artist in Residence galleries, Peoples Art of Portland is displaying a staggering 6,000 works of art spanning every conceivable medium.

The artists range from established gallery stars to graffiti artists making their gallery debuts. This is the show’s seventh consecutive year. It’s strategically timed for connoisseurs as well as rank-and-file mallgoers to shop for objets d’art to give as holiday gifts. Art snobs might grouse that the show prioritizes quantity over quality, but as a wide sampling of artwork by artists throughout the region, it’s hard to beat The Big 500. Through Jan. 11. People’s Gallery, Pioneer Place Mall, 700 SW 5th Ave., 3rd floor, Suite 4005.

The Lost Secrets of the Bennett-Brackett Portfolios

Artists Jessica Brackett and Tom Richards collaborate in the logorrheically titled show, The Lost Secrets of the Bennett-Brackett Portfolios: Getting to the Roots of a Botanical Mystery. The gallery has been turned into a maze of real and fake plants, punctuated by drawings, sketches, scientific journals and esoteric brica-brac, all calculated to confuse and intrigue the viewer. Through Dec. 31.

The Faux Museum, 139 NW 2nd Ave.

Timothy Scott Dalbow

Timothy Scott Dalbow is one of the most dedicated and talented painters in the Northwest. If your memory stretches back to the days of nowdefunct galleries Haze and New American Art Union, you’ll recall Dalbow’s scrumptious, compositionally sophisticated oil paintings, which have also been exhibited in group shows at spaces such as Laura Russo Gallery.

Dalbow has a new grid of 35 small paintings at the Radish Underground boutique, along with ravishing paintings on stretched and unstretched canvases. These artworks show him at the top of his form, finessing form and color with equal parts wit and muscularity. In the art world, it’s been said far too many times that “painting is dead,” so it’s a pleasure to see the medium freshly transformed and elevated by a midcareer master like Dalbow. Through Dec. 31. Radish Underground , 414 SW 10th Ave., 928-6435.

For more Visual Arts listings, visit

BOOKS

DEC. 17–23

= WW Pick. Highly recommended.

By PENELOPE BASS. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, submit lecture or reading information at least two weeks in advance to: WORDS, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Email: words@wweek.com. Fax: 243-1115.

WEDNESDAY, DEC. 17 Simon Roy

In an ancient world ruled by vengeful gods and wild beasts, the Paleolithic tribes are protected by shaman warriors. Canadian illustrator and writer Simon Roy follows the struggle of one shaman trying to keep his people alive in the epic Tiger Lung. Roy will sign copies.

Floating World Comics, 400 NW Couch St., 241-0227. 5-7 pm. Free.

Mountain Writers Series

Marilyn Stablein, author of 12 books including Splitting Hard Ground and Sleeping in Caves, teaches memoir

and creative writing and co-owns the local used bookstore Anthology Booksellers. She will read a collection of her work along with local author and poet Kate Gray, who will read from her first novel, Carry the Sky. Glyph Cafe & Arts Space, 804 NW Couch St., 719-5481. 7 pm. $5.

Cary Elwes

If you’ve never seen The Princess Bride, you need to stop what you’re doing, go home and watch it. Now Cary Elwes (aka Westley) is offering his first-person account of the making of the film, including behind-the-scenes stories, photos and interviews with co-stars Robin Wright, Billy Crystal and Mandy

Patinkin. Elwes will read and sign copies of his book, As You Wish: Inconceivable Tales from the Making of The Princess Bride. Powell’s Books at Cedar Hills Crossing, 3415 SW Cedar Hills Blvd., Beaverton, 800-878-7323. 7 pm. Free.

SATURDAY, DEC. 20 Dana Haynes

Local thriller author Dana Haynes, who now serves as the spokesman for Mayor Charlie Hales, is continuing the tale of Daria Gibron, a character introduced in his books Crashers and Ice Cold Kill. Haynes will read from his new book, Gun Metal Heart. Central Library, 801 SW 10th Ave., 988-5123. 2-3 pm. Free.

For more Books listings, visit

HOTSEAT COURTESY OF UNIVERSITY O F WA S H I N G TO N P R E S S

JOSHUA P. HOWE, BEHIND THE CURVE ANALYZING THE ENVIRONMENTAL MOVEMENT’S GAME TAPE. Joshua P. Howe says he tries to approach the problems of climate change like a football coach.

“I think about a guy like Pete Carroll,” says Howe, a professor of environmental studies and history at Reed College. “If he got up at a press conference and said, ‘Yeah, we lost the game ’cause the other team is good,’ he’d be shouted out of town.”

The same is true of the environmental movement, says Howe: Though it has been run up and down the field by Big Oil, big industry and their influence on politics, chalking up defeat to the other team being bigger and better isn’t enough.

Instead, Howe has put together Behind the Curve: The Science and Politics of Global Warming (University of Washington Press, 312 pages, $34.95), an exhaustive look at scientific, political and social responses to climate change, starting with the discovery of the greenhouse effect in 1958. We talked to Howe about his status update for environmentalists.

WW: One of the most interesting things the book covers is the politicization of the environmental movement—it’s easy to think that it’s always been a political battle, but that’s not true. Where did the anti-environmental movement come from?

Joshua P. Howe: The sort of narrow answer is that there’s, domestically, a coalition of largely Western conservatives who are concerned about regulation of things like mining, logging, and other extractive industries on Western lands.

So I think the successes of environmentalists at protecting a lot of these spaces in the American West provided a really good target for antiregulation free marketeers. And so when Reagan comes to power, one of the things he does is appoint people to the very agencies that oversee those regulations, in order to not have to change any laws, just strip them of their power.

So is that where the environmental movement became a liberal thing?

It’s not so much the anti-environmental revolution that politicized climate change, it’s the way that environmental groups and climate scientists respond to it. I wouldn’t blame them for

this—if anything I would credit them for this— but it did create some problems later.

What you do see is people like Al Gore in 1981 and 1982 showing up in congressional hearings and connecting climate change with Reagan’s energy policy to demonstrate the myopia of Reagan’s approach to energy. So it’s essentially a way of extracting a political price for Reagan’s deregulation campaign. And using climate change to do so by saying, “Look, this has some uncertainties, but look at these potential future consequences that you haven’t even considered.”

Is there a moment that you can point to as the environmental movement’s biggest mistake?

What’s so interesting to me about it is that it’s this slow accumulation of small—I don’t even want to call them mistakes—narrow ideas. Maybe it’s the mid-1970s, when the climate-science community began associating climate change with food insecurity. That had legs. But that’s about when the climate-science community had some of its biggest scientific rifts. Rifts over the substance of science began to be conflated with the way science was presented. There’s also a resistance to appealing to the public at that point in the scientific community that leaves it pretty weak.

One of your main criticisms of the environmental movement in the book seems to be that it’s too top-down, too centralized. How do we change that?

The conversation that I think people want to hear about, and that I think we’ve been afraid of for so long, is a conversation about what a climate-friendly city looks like. What does my city map look like when I take climate change seriously? Where are my transportation corridors? How does my water get to me? What does the road system look like? And how can we talk about that legitimately and civilly when it’s going to challenge a lot of our values and our patterns of living? It’s a certain amount of taking collective responsibility for the situation to make it accessible. JAMES HELMSWORTH.

STREET PG. 23 Willamette Week DECEMBER 17, 2014 wweek.com

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MUSIC

LISTINGS

PAGE 29 44

Willamette Week DECEMBER 17, 2014 wweek.com

NEWS PG. 7

MOVIES

dec. 17–23 REVIEW

= WW Pick. Highly recommended.

OPENING THIS WEEK British Arrow Awards

[FOUR DAYS ONLY] A juried survey of weird and wonderful British TV ads.

NW Film Center’s Whitsell Auditorium.

7 pm Wednesday-Thursday, 4 and 6 pm Saturday and 5 pm Sunday, Dec. 17-21.

The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies

B+ Prior to The Battle of the Five Armies, it would have been fair to say the Hobbit movies at their best were inferior to the Lord of the Rings films at their worst. This may not have been much of an issue for anyone whose fictional universe of choice is Middle-earth (read: this critic), but even apologists had to admit the first two installments were often sluggish, if enjoyable. There’s finally a genuine sense of breathless urgency to the concluding chapter, which pits man against dwarf against elf against orc in an elegantly crafted, altogether glorious skirmish for supremacy over the Lonely Mountain. If you have only a vague idea of what that means, fret not. The particulars of said battle may at first be lost on those who didn’t see The Desolation of Smaug last year, but one thing is certain from the outset: Power corrupts. Also: Shiny objects containing untold power corrupt absolutely. Peter Jackson links this trilogy back to LOTR in seamless fashion, reminding us why this is such an immersive cinematic world. Did The Hobbit need to be a trilogy? Absolutely not. Did it work as one anyway? Yes, precious. PG-13.

MICHAEL NORDINE. Bagdad, Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Mill Plain, Cornelius, Edgefield, Moreland, Oak Grove, Cinema 99, Bridgeport, City Center, Evergreen Parkway, Hilltop, Lloyd Center, Movies on TV, Pioneer Place, Sherwood, Tigard, Wilsonville, Roseway, Sandy, St. Johns Cinemas.

I Am Eleven

[ONE NIGHT ONLY] For this documentary, Australian filmmaker Genevieve Bailey traveled the world, interviewing 11-year-olds in 15 different countries.

Clinton Street Theater. 7:30 pm Friday, Dec. 19.

Level Five

[THREE NIGHTS ONLY] Previously unreleased in the U.S., Chris Marker’s 1997 film follows a video-game programmer as she goes down the Internet rabbit hole while researching the Battle of Okinawa. NW Film Center’s Whitsell Auditorium. 7 pm Friday, 8 pm Saturday and 2:30 and 7 pm Sunday, Dec. 19-21.

Mike Henderson: The Blues and the Abstract Truth

[ONE NIGHT ONLY] Though best known as a blues musician and a painter, the Missouri-born Mike Henderson is also a filmmaker—he’s produced several dozen experimental films, all on 16 mm. Cinema Project presents an evening of this rarely seen work. Hollywood Theatre. 7:30 pm Thursday, Dec. 18.

Night at the Museum: Secret of the Tomb

Ben Stiller spends more time sprinting through a museum. PG. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Mill Plain, Cornelius, Oak Grove, Cinema 99, Bridgeport, City Center, Division, Evergreen Parkway, Hilltop, Lloyd Mall, Movies on TV, Pioneer Place, Sherwood, Tigard, Wilsonville, Sandy, St. Johns Theater.

Out in the Night

[ONE NIGHT ONLY] In 2006, four young black lesbians were charged with assault and attempted murder in New York. Several media outlets branded them a “lesbian wolf pack.”

The women say they were acting

C O U R T E S Y O F C A U S E WAY F I L M S

Editor: REBECCA JACOBSON. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, send screening information at least two weeks in advance to Screen, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Email: rjacobson@wweek.com. Fax: 243-1115.

in self-defense after receiving rape threats and being physically attacked by strangers on the street. Blair Dorosh-Walther’s film examines their case and the ensuing sensationalistic news coverage. Clinton Street Theater.

7 pm Thursday, Dec. 18.

Why Don’t You Play in Hell?

B [THREE DAYS ONLY] Despite con-

stant comparisons, Japanese director Sion Sono claims to have written the script for Why Don’t You Play in Hell? years before the Kill Bill franchise hit screens. Still, it’s difficult to describe the film as anything other than Tarantino-esque. That’s a compliment, though, not a complaint—a badass female assassin slicing and dicing an entire room of people with samurai swords, Jun Kunimura, and another homage to Bruce Lee’s yellow jumpsuit? No objections here. The movie centers on a group of aspiring young filmmakers so gung-ho about making a classic action epic that they actually insert themselves into the middle of a real yakuza war and capture all the absurdly bloody results on 35 mm.

Just like the film being made onscreen, the movie itself is all style and very little substance—mostly gags, grossouts and gore. But that’s kind of the point: Like his protagonists, Sono has created an unashamed celebration of mindless, pulpy violence and the cultfilm geeks who love it. Unfortunately, the setup takes longer than it might—it involves a toothpaste commercial and a love story—so the film really drags at times. But it’s worth it for the gloriously stupid bloodbath at the end, in which blades, bullets and severed limbs fly for 20 nonstop minutes (I timed it). RUTH BROWN. Hollywood Theatre. 9:35 pm Friday-Sunday, Dec. 19-21.

STILL SHOWING Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

Steve Carell and Jennifer Garner star in a Disney adaptation of the popular kids’ book. PG. Kennedy School, Valley.

Antarctica: A Year on Ice

A documentary about the everyday workers who keep Antarctica’s scientific research bases running. Brrr.

Living Room Theaters.

Big Hero 6

A Shelving wordy cleverness for its

own sake, ignoring parental intrusion, and allowing moral lessons to develop organically through a simplified storyline, Big Hero 6 is that rarest thing: an animated children’s adventure designed purely to delight its target audience. Substantial swaths of the picture are devoted to nothing loftier than portraying just how unstoppably cool soaring on the back of your own robot would feel. Based on a Marvel comic about repurposed Japanese mutant-villains, this Disney feature drops all references to a larger Marvel world and scales back the well-worn superhero textures to best serve the needs of a slightly harder-edged kids’ cartoon. PG. JAY HORTON. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Forest, Indoor Twin, Movies on TV, Sandy.

Birdman

B- In Birdman, our protagonist is Riggan Thomson (Michael Keaton), a washed-up actor who once wore wings as the titular superhero. But in this film, directed by Alejandro González Iñárritu, the real thing with wings is the camera, which soars and swoops through narrow stairwells and bustling Manhattan streets. The effect is that of a single, continuous take.

But just as the camera floats along, so too does much else in this self-consciously clever film skate along the surface. Decades ago, Riggan struck gold as a Hollywood superhero, and

CONT. on page 46

WHaT LIES BENEaTH: Essie Davis, Hachi the dog, and Noah Wiseman.

MOTHER OF THE YEAR THE BABADOOK TRANSCENDS HORROR TROPES WITH GENUINE EMOTION. BY a P krYza a pkryza @wweek.com

Dressed in a flowing trench coat and tattered black hat, the apparition in the superb Aussie creeper The Babadook immediately lodges itself in your nightmares.

First glimpsed in a Edward Gorey-esque pop-up book, the titular monster is like an unholy combination of a vaudevillian clown and Jack the Ripper.

Wild-eyed and widely grinning, he speaks mostly in croaked utterances of his own name, his long arms and pitchfork fingers reaching out of the darkness.

He’s a terrifying, ghostly menace.

But what sets director Jennifer Kent’s debut film apart from standard creature features—and elevates it into the realm of horror art—is that even if this ghoul never appeared, The Babadook would still be a gorgeous, heartbreaking exercise in dread.

The spare, haunting and often tragic horror drama centers on Amelia (Essie Davis), a nervejangled nurse still reeling from the death of her husband, who was killed while driving her to the hospital when she was in labor. Seven years later, Amelia and her son, Samuel (Noah Wiseman), occupy a too-big home where Samuel lives in constant fear of monsters under the bed, to the degree that he keeps an arsenal of homemade weapons hidden throughout the house.

Amelia and Samuel’s existence is lonely and sleepless. Samuel’s behavior—which includes extreme sensitivity and violent outbursts—isolates Amelia from her upper-class sister and leaves the boy friendless and in constant trouble. The pair finds solace in nightly bedtime stories, until a mysterious and foreboding pop-up book—Mister Babadook—appears on the shelf. That kicks off a harrowing series of events that may or may not be real, with the book’s villain insinuating himself into their lives, threatening to take control of Amelia and turn her into an instrument of murder.

It becomes obvious early on that Kent is working in allegorical mode, with Mr. Babadook representing the madness Amelia risks succumbing to. Her desire to nurture her child jockeys with an

impulse to harm him—to punish him for robbing her of the life she once knew. It’s a metaphor that could have come across as ham-fisted, and indeed, it sometimes hits with the subtlety of an ax to the head. Yet Kent handles her story with patience and confidence, allowing it to transcend its flaws.

The creature itself seldom emerges, appearing more often in visual cues—a coat and hat on a hook, for example. This puts the film in direct contrast with its closest relative, James Wan’s Insidious, which also found a parent transforming into a threat to his child. But instead of Wan’s inyour-face jump scares and fakeouts, The Babadook has more in common with The Shining, mainly because it’s a deliberately plotted horror tale about the specter of mental illness.

JENNIFER KENT’S DEBUT IS A GORGEOUS, HEARTBREAKING ExERCISE IN DREAD. That’s some heavy shit for a film about a storybook monster stalking a family, but The Babadook earns both its scares and its tears. Much of that is thanks to the strong performances. As Amelia, Davis looks as though her eyes could at any point sink into her hollow body. Moving from tender to terrified to terrifying—occasionally in a single scene—she has the resiliency of a tragedy-stricken mother and the vulnerability of a lost soul. And Wiseman, who looks like a Precious Moments version of Mick Jagger, keeps up. The young actor projects wide-eyed fear, weird-kid ticks and a wounded worldview without succumbing to the precocious-child stereotype.

But Kent is the main discovery here. The director allows much of her film to play out in the shadows, creating a sense of claustrophobic paranoia and lunacy that would make a young Roman Polanski proud. She’s a storyteller whose voice and vision demand attention. The Babadook doesn’t just tower over this year’s other fright films: It’s one of the most emotionally affecting pieces of macabre cinema in years.

A- SEE IT: The Babadook opens Friday at Living Room Theaters.

Willamette Week DECEMBER 17, 2014 wweek.com

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dec. 17–23

he’s now trying to rebuild himself by adapting, directing and starring in a Broadway play. It’s of course a winknudge role for Keaton, 63, who wore the Batman suit more than 20 years ago and whose career has wobbled since. If Birdman’s message is that the theater is the home of high art and Hollywood a place of debased, greeddriven entertainment, Iñárritu doesn’t make a convincing—or even amusingly satirical—argument. R. REBECCA JACOBSON. Cedar Hills, Hollywood Theatre, Lake.

The Book of Life

B- A transcendent flourish of fourcolor splendor and kinetic verve, new animated feature The Book of Life arrives overstuffed with artisanal delights, including the world’s grandest piñata. PG. Mt. Hood.

The Boxtrolls

C+ Last summer, Portland anima-

tion house Laika turned heads with a trailer full of same-sex couples materializing and evaporating next to a rosy-cheeked toddler. “Families come in all shapes and sizes,” the narrator crooned. The resulting feature film, The Boxtrolls does away with any of these loving gay parents—actually, it does away with most loving humans, full stop. It also takes a surprisingly long time to get to this message about family, which gets muddled in a narrative that encompasses class envy, political corruption and (of course) how it’s what’s on the inside that counts. As in Laika’s previous two efforts—the fantastical Coraline and playfully supernatural ParaNorman—The Boxtrolls boasts a scrupulously crafted world. But its overstuffed screenplay lacks humor, and it could use a great deal more fun.

PG. REBECCA JACOBSON. Academy Theater, Empirical Theatre at OMSI, Laurelhurst Theater, Valley.

Boyhood

A Boyhood took 12 years, in film as in life. For 12 years, director Richard Linklater shot the movie for a few weeks each summer as both the main character, a boy named Mason, and the actor, Ellar Coltrane, came of age, from 6 to 18. The epic undertaking has resulted in one of the most honest and absorbing representations of growing up ever put to film: all the tedium, all the wonder. We see Mason in a series of moments, and they blend into each other without announcement. New haircuts appear. Obama runs for president. We see a teen girl awkwardly saying that “a friend” has a crush on Mason, and then we see her as Mason’s first girlfriend. The passage of time amounts to a special effect more powerful than CGI. How did this wistful kid become a lanky, zitty teen with an ill-advised mustache? When did he get so handsome? Who bought him that skateboard? As in life, the moments pass naturally, effortlessly, but in their accumulation we see— with all the suddenness of epiphany— that we have changed. R. MATTHEW KORFHAGE. Laurelhurst Theater.

Citizenfour

B History happens in real time in

Citizenfour, a behind-closed-doors account of Edward Snowden’s decision to reveal the dizzying extent of U.S. government surveillance programs. Much of Laura Poitras’ documentary consists of long interviews with Snowden in the Hong Kong hotel room where he was holed up in June 2013, divulging everything he knew to Guardian reporter Glenn Greenwald.

The result is a portrait of the whistle-blower as neither hero nor traitor.

Citizenfour’s ground-level vibe and Poitras’ necessary cloak-and-dagger tactics make the documentary like a ’70s paranoia thriller with real-world consequences. R. MICHAEL NORDINE. Living Room Theaters.

Dear White People

A- When Justin Simien began work

on Dear White People, early drafts of the screenplay included an overthe-top college party featuring white students in blackface. At some point, though, he ruled it too outlandish and slashed it from the film.

Then came the Compton Cookout

46

at the University of California, San Diego, in 2010. The invitation promised chicken, watermelon and purple drank. Students showed up in heavy gold chains, oversized T-shirts and, yes, blackface. Simien quickly revived the party in Dear White People, and it’s one of many pieces that makes this satire so smart, gutsy and relevant. The film, Simien’s directorial debut, blasts apart the notion that we live in a post-racial society, and it explores questions of appropriation, conformity and political strategy while maintaining a tone that’s as playful as it is biting. Set at a fictional Ivy League university, it revolves around four black students. Most intriguing is Lionel (Tyler James Williams), a shy, gay Trekkie with a beachball-sized Afro who attempts to reject labels entirely, which results in his near-universal ostracism and allows Simien to ask probing questions about internalized racism. What is it to be black “enough”? Can you be too black? And Simien’s screenplay is a marvel, hurtling from quick-hit Tyler Perry and Kanye West references to piercing banter about contemporary race relations. Many have likened him to Spike Lee, and in terms of both subject and style, it’s not an off-base comparison. But Simien’s voice is his own, and it’s vital. R. REBECCA JACOBSON. Laurelhurst Theater, Academy Theater.

Dumb and Dumber To

B Twenty years after Dumb & Dumber entrenched the Farrelly brothers as keepers of a frat house of filmic offense, the directors return to their first heroes for the sequel just about nobody demanded. As if there were any doubt, Harry Dunne (Jeff Daniels) and Lloyd Christmas (Jim Carrey) remain resolutely unchanged.

By means of a long-mislaid postcard, Harry finds out he has a daughter, and, as happens, he needs a kidney while Lloyd wants to bone her.

What results is a fusillade of absurdist puns and scatological taunts amid a Lifetime picture about two mildly disabled friends on an amiable, misguided quest. It all should feel tragic— few things age more poorly than the charms of an arrested boyhood—but the film takes pains to resist portraying Harry and Lloyd as sympathetic characters. Moreover, as filmmakers famously steeped in the comedy of ugliness, the brothers take special delight in the increasingly desiccated visage of Carrey, aging into a cross between Ruth Gordon and a gnarled bedpost. PG-13. JAY HORTON. Movies on TV.

Exodus: Gods and Kings

C- The most moving bit in Exodus: Gods and Kings isn’t part of the movie itself, but rather the first words that appear onscreen once the film has ended: “For my brother Tony Scott.”

Nothing in Ridley Scott’s spin on the tale of Moses and Ramesses is as moving as that brief tribute to his late brother, though the fraternal connection does help explain what may have drawn Scott to this sibling rivalry in the first place. Christian Bale plays Moses, while a guylinered Joel Edgerton is Ramesses. You’d think this kind of casting would be a relic of ages past by now, but here we are. More frustrating than this historical whitewashing is that Exodus is too silly and overwrought to ever fully suspend disbelief: This is what a parody of a biblical epic might look like on Entourage. The film is best when the ridiculous outpaces the selfserious, as when crocodiles with an appetite for Egyptian flesh turn the Nile red with blood and Ramesses chills in his palace with a coiled snake around his shoulders. As with most epics, there are a lot of speeches and dead horses—all in needless 3-D—but not enough genuine emotion to actually make any of it feel, well, epic.

PG-13. MICHAEL NORDINE. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Mill Plain, Cornelius, Oak Grove, Movies on TV, Sandy, St. Johns Cinemas.

Force Majeure

A- The family of four lies on the bed,

limbs intertwined. They’re Swedish.

So of course they’re gorgeous—they look ripped from a Hanna Andersson catalog, down to their match-

Willamette Week DECEMBER 17, 2014 wweek.com

ing thermal underwear. But not all is so serene on this ski vacation in the French Alps, which unfolds with chilly menace, and a welcome shot of caustic humor, in Ruben Östlund’s Force Majeure. On the second day of the trip, during lunch at an outdoor cafe, an avalanche comes rumbling down the mountain. Tomas (Johannes Bah Kuhnke) insists it’s a controlled slide. But when it doesn’t seem to stop, he grabs his iPhone and darts away, leaving his wife, Ebba (Lisa Loven Kongsli), to shield the kids and scream after him. Turns out Tomas was right, and once the cloud of snow clears, the family resumes their meal. And turns out Force Majeure is a disaster movie after all, only with casualties emotional rather than physical. Many have seen the film as a commentary on gender roles, and Östlund indeed told The New York Times he wanted to create “the most pathetic male character on film.” But even with its Mars/Venus debates aside, Force Majeure is an incisive exploration of shame and cowardice. R. REBECCA JACOBSON. Living Room Theaters.

just rebellion are well-wrought. At their best, the rebels’ videos vaguely recall the “Would you like to know more?” segments from Starship Troopers, and Katniss is compelling not despite her lack of agency but because she’s constantly overcoming it. She’s treated as a pawn when she’s clearly a queen, her image constantly co-opted by people trying to use it for their own ends. No wonder Lawrence plays her so well.

PG-13. MICHAEL NORDINE. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Mill Plain, Cornelius, Forest, Indoor Twin, Oak Grove, Movies on TV, Sandy.

Interstellar

C+ Christopher Nolan is Hollywood’s most masterful huckster: a blockbuster auteur who uses incredible sleight of hand to elevate into art what other directors would leave as garbage. He is the king of making you think his films—the Dark Knight trilogy,

Inception, Memento—are smarter than they actually are. So it makes perfect sense that Nolan takes us to another galaxy with Interstellar. In space, nobody can hear you scream, “Wait, that doesn’t make sense...but holy shit, did you see that?!” Whenever something seems really out there, somebody finds a whiteboard and draws a bunch of squiggly marks. Bam! Equation! Now look at this wormhole!

The plot finds former pilot Cooper (Matthew McConaughey) raising his kids and crops on a blighted Earth.

He’s enlisted by a speechifying Michael Caine to captain a space expedition: He must either find a new planet for the remnants of humanity to call home or—if time runs out—find a place to incubate a stash of embryos, thus preventing the extinction of mankind. At nearly three hours, Interstellar could

CONT. on page 48

REVIEW SCOTT GARFIELD

MOVIES

Fury

C Brad Pitt makes an inglorious return to Nazi-killing movies in Fury, David Ayer’s would-be epic about tank warfare in the waning days of World War II. Ayer sets up Fury as a gritty depiction of the Nazis’ “total war” period, when all civilians were ordered to aid in their country’s desperate efforts—which would be more effective if the director didn’t use these atrocities as little more than action-movie set pieces. R. MICHAEL NORDINE. Clackamas, Movies on TV, Kennedy School, Laurelhurst Theater, Mission, Mt. Hood, Valley, Academy Theater.

Guardians of the Galaxy

A- A strangely wonderful, thor-

oughly enjoyable sci-fi romp. PG13. JAY HORTON. Academy Theater, Laurelhurst Theater.

Horrible Bosses 2

B Three years after a trio of pro-

fessionals conspired to murder their employers, Horrible Bosses 2 finds the B-list wolfpack (Jason Bateman, Jason Sudeikis, Charlie Day) again nudged toward criminal vengeance upon rather more marketable co-stars. This go-round, Christoph Waltz and Chris Pine play father-and-son catalog magnates out to steal the boys’ new invention—a shampoo- and soap-dispensing showerhead—through altogether legal and fairly logical machinations. But, as soon as the 1-percenters threaten to ship manufacturing jobs overseas, our heroes are begging Jamie Foxx for felonious pro tips. Where the original blanketed any satirical edge beneath formulaic conventions and indulgent star turns, new director Sean Anders’ unrepentant hackiness dispels any semblance of narrative construct.

Instead, he throws all his energies behind his leads’ banter-driven interplay, which works undeserved miracles. Lord only knows what the three could make of a decent script and competent direction. R. JAY HORTON. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Movies on TV.

The Hunger Games: Mockingjay, Part 1

B- When last we met Katniss Everdeen (Jennifer Lawrence), the bow-wielding heroine was being rescued from the eponymous death match and thrust into the role of reluctant revolutionary. Now, in the first half of The Hunger Games’ concluding installment—thanks for making that standard practice, Harry Potter— Katniss’ outlying District 12 has been reduced to ashen rubble. The surviving insurrectionists gather in a drab underground bunker where their president (Julianne Moore, rocking a shock of straight gray hair) tries to enlist an unwitting Katniss into their noble cause. The Games are conspicuous in their absence. The latent cruelty of that tournament is responsible for nearly all of the franchise’s most indelible moments: That feeling of lambs going to slaughter is both exhilarating and tragic, and shorn of this, the new film has no real hook. Nevertheless, the vicarious thrills of taking part in a

fighting mad: Channing tatum and Steve Carell.

FOXCATCHER If Michael Scott had been born disgustingly rich, with a crooked beak for a nose, he would’ve been John du Pont. A lot has been made of Steve Carell’s dark turn as the heir to one of the grandest fortunes in American history. But really, the actor just traded a passion for selling paper for an obsession with Olympic wrestling, and his already prominent proboscis for a bent prosthetic schnoz. He didn’t even leave Pennsylvania: The sprawling du Pont family estate is only two hours south of Dunder Mifflin’s Scranton office. This might seem a belabored comparison, but there’s a reason Carell got the role. He understands the desperate loneliness that drove the real-life du Pont’s dangerous self-delusions, because he played it for laughs for seven years.

The difference, of course, is that unlike The Office, absolutely nothing in Foxcatcher is played for laughs. It is a brutal grind of a movie, which fits the subject matter. In 1987, du Pont contacted Mark Schultz, who’d won an Olympic gold medal three years earlier, and offered him room, board and a hefty paycheck to assemble a team of wrestlers to compete in the upcoming world championships in Seoul. Desperate and adrift, Schultz accepted. What unfolded over the next decade was so bizarre that a grayscale mood piece of the sort crafted by director Bennett Miller is the only way it would translate to the screen.

It is an unpleasant two hours, spent with two impenetrable, broken characters. Carell’s du Pont speaks in a desiccated monotone, and neither drugs nor outbursts of paranoid rage shift his unnervingly disconnected demeanor. As Schultz, Channing Tatum walks in a permanent hulking lurch. He is an inarticulate man who speaks through his athleticism, and when that fails him, all he has left is violence. Mark’s brother, Dave, an equally decorated Olympian played by Mark Ruffalo, is too warm to subsist in this world, and his presence heightens rather than diffuses the film’s overwhelming sense of dread.

There are moments that should register as comic relief, and that, on paper, would read like deleted scenes from The Office. Can’t you imagine Michael commissioning an awkward, self-aggrandizing promotional video and nudging Jim to call him his “mentor” on camera? But Foxcatcher allows no humor to penetrate. It is a cringe comedy in which the comedy has been cringed out of existence. But it is also too intense, and too profoundly strange, not to recommend trudging through it at least once. As a visceral experience, Foxcatcher is a slow-motion suplex that, once you’re in it, is hard to wriggle free of. MATTHEW SINGER.

World’s worst boss.

B

SEE it: Foxcatcher is rated R. It opens Friday at Fox Tower.

Willamette Week DECEMBER 17, 2014 wweek.com

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DEC. 17–23 C O U R T E S Y O F WA R N E R B R O S .

MOVIES

THE HOBBIT: THE BATTLE OF THE FIVE ARMIES easily chop an hour off its runtime and remain an exhilarating piece of escapism. Instead, Nolan overcomplicates things with indecipherable equations and endless exposition. Add a twist ending that’s ludicrous and self-important to the point of hilarity and you’ve got a lot of strained goodwill. PG13. AP KRYZA. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Forest, Movies on TV, Sandy.

John Wick

A- John Wick treads familiar

Hobbit: The Battle Of The Five Armies XD-3D (PG-13) 12:40PM 4:00PM 7:20PM 10:40PM Hunger Games: The Mockingjay, Part 1 (PG-13) 10:00AM 11:30AM 1:00PM 2:30PM 4:00PM 5:30PM 7:00PM 8:30PM 10:05PM Interstellar (PG-13) 11:10AM 2:50PM 6:30PM 10:15PM Wild (R) 11:00AM 1:50PM 4:40PM 7:30PM 10:20PM Horrible Bosses 2 (R) 11:25AM 2:15PM 4:55PM 7:45PM 10:25PM Theory Of Everything, The (PG-13) 10:45AM 1:45PM 4:40PM 7:35PM 10:30PM Top Five (R) 11:35AM 2:20PM 5:00PM 7:40PM 10:25PM Night At The Museum: Secret Of The Tomb (PG) 10:35AM 11:50AM 1:15PM 2:35PM 3:55PM 5:15PM 6:35PM 7:55PM 9:15PM 10:35PM

Hunger Games: The Mockingjay, Part 1 (PG-13) 10:35AM 1:35PM 4:35PM 7:35PM 10:35PM Horrible Bosses 2 (R) 11:45AM 2:25PM 5:05PM 7:45PM 10:25PM Wild (R) 11:05AM 1:50PM 4:35PM 7:20PM 10:05PM Interstellar (PG-13) 11:25AM 3:05PM 6:45PM 10:25PM Theory Of Everything, The (PG-13) 10:50AM 1:45PM 4:40PM 7:35PM 10:30PM Penguins Of Madagascar, The (PG) 9:50AM 12:20PM 2:45PM 5:10PM 7:35PM 10:00PM Night At The Museum: Secret Of The Tomb (PG) 10:00AM 12:30PM 3:00PM 5:30PM 8:00PM 10:30PM Interstellar (PG-13) 11:00AM 2:40PM 6:20PM 10:00PM Hunger Games: The Mockingjay, Part 1 (PG-13) 10:35AM 1:35PM 4:40PM 7:40PM 10:40PM Wild (R) 10:10AM 1:10PM 4:15PM 7:10PM 10:15PM Theory Of Everything, The (PG-13) 10:30AM 1:30PM 4:30PM 7:30PM 10:30PM Penguins Of Madagascar, The (PG) 9:40AM 12:15PM 2:50PM 5:15PM 7:40PM 10:10PM Night At The Museum: Secret Of The Tomb (PG) 10:40AM 12:00PM 1:20PM 2:40PM 4:00PM 5:20PM 6:40PM 8:00PM 9:20PM 10:45PM Hobbit: The Battle Of The Five Armies (PG-13) 11:10AM 12:50PM 2:30PM 5:00PM 7:30PM 9:10PM

Penguins Of Madagascar, The (PG) 10:05AM 12:35PM 3:05PM 5:35PM 8:05PM 10:35PM Big Hero 6 (PG) 10:40AM 1:30PM 4:20PM 7:05PM 9:50PM Exodus: Gods and Kings 3D (PG-13) 10:15AM 11:55AM 1:55PM 3:30PM 5:25PM 7:00PM 8:55PM 10:30PM Annie (2014) (PG) 10:30AM 1:25PM 4:20PM 7:15PM 10:10PM Hobbit: The Battle Of The Five Armies 3D (PG-13) 10:10AM 11:20AM 1:40PM 2:40PM 5:10PM 6:00PM 9:20PM Hobbit: The Battle Of The Five Armies (PG-13) 12:00PM 3:20PM 6:40PM 8:35PM 10:00PM Exodus: Gods and Kings (PG-13) 11:15AM 2:55PM 6:25PM 9:55PM Fury (R) 10:00AM 1:05PM 4:15PM 7:25PM 10:40PM

Big Hero 6 (PG) 11:00AM 1:40PM 4:20PM 7:00PM 9:40PM Annie (2014) (PG) 11:00AM 1:50PM 4:40PM 7:30PM 10:20PM Hobbit: The Battle Of The Five Armies (PG-13) 9:20AM 11:10AM 1:45PM 5:15PM 7:50PM 9:40PM Birdman (R) 11:00AM 1:50PM 4:40PM 7:30PM 10:20PM Hobbit: The Battle Of The Five Armies 3D (PG-13) 10:15AM 12:00PM 12:50PM 2:40PM 3:30PM 4:20PM 6:10PM 7:00PM 8:45PM 10:30PM 11:10PM Exodus: Gods and Kings (PG-13) 12:15PM 3:45PM 7:15PM 10:45PM Exodus: Gods and Kings 3D (PG-13) 10:30AM 2:00PM 5:30PM 9:00PM Big Hero 6 (PG) 11:05AM 1:45PM 4:35PM 7:25PM 10:20PM Annie (2014) (PG) 10:00AM 1:00PM 4:00PM 7:00PM 10:00PM Horrible Bosses 2 (R) 11:25AM 2:15PM 5:05PM 7:45PM 10:25PM Hobbit: The Battle Of The Five Armies 3D (PG-13) 9:30AM 10:20AM 12:00PM 1:40PM 3:20PM 4:10PM 5:50PM 6:40PM 8:20PM 10:00PM 10:50PM Exodus: Gods and Kings (PG-13) 9:50AM 1:15PM 8:15PM Exodus: Gods and Kings 3D (PG-13) 11:30AM 3:00PM 4:45PM 6:30PM 10:05PM

FRIDAY 48

Willamette Week DECEMBER 17, 2014 wweek.com

ground: A retired hit man is roped back into the life. But this is the rare film that excels as much for what it puts on display as for what it holds back. It oozes style, yet avoids showy slow-mo and CGI. It’s birthed from cliché, yet populated with unpredictable characters. And it’s bloody terrific. It’s also brutally efficient. John Wick opens with the titular character (Keanu Reeves) in mourning, having just buried his wife. That leaves him with only his tricked-out Mustang and a new puppy. Pity, then, when sadistic Russian thug Iosef (Alfie Allen) and his cronies jack his ride and kill his dog. It’s only a matter of time before Wick comes knocking. What unfolds is the kind of old-school action we rarely see in this age of gargantuan spectacle. As directed by David Leitch and Chad Stahelski—the latter was Reeves’ Matrix stunt double—the action unfolds without confusing jump cuts. Whenever the story approaches redundancy, the directors pull out another stylistic flourish. Unburdened by exposition, Reeves is free to do what he does best: be one of his generation’s best action stars. John Wick is a perfect vehicle for him. Which is to say, it’s one of the best action flicks to come along in years. R. AP KRYZA. Laurelhurst Theater, Academy Theater.

The Maze Runner

Because there just aren’t enough film adaptations of dystopian young-adult novels out there, here’s another one, about—as you might have gleaned from its title—kids trapped in a maze. PG-13. Valley.

National Gallery

Legendary filmmaker Frederick Wiseman rolls out his 39th documentary, this one a three-hour study of London’s National Gallery and the people and paintings who occupy it. Living Room Theaters.

Penguins of Madagascar

The besuited birds are back, trying to prevent an evil octopus from taking over the world. Sorry, WW was too hung over to make the Saturday-morning screening. PG. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Cornelius, Forest, Oak Grove, Movies on TV, Sandy.

Rosewater

B Rosewater is a torture film in which suffering is beside the point.

Gael García Bernal plays unjustly imprisoned Iranian-Canadian journalist Maziar Bahari, and his performance is by turns affecting, subtle and hilarious, if also often glib.

Bahari, of course, is the very real Newsweek reporter who was kept for 118 days in solitary confinement in Iran—ostensibly for espionage— after filming a riot in the wake of President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad’s spurious re-election in 2009. It’s been adapted to film by The Daily Show’s Jon Stewart, who brings the same jaunty momentum, schoolboy wit and self-congratulatory sincerity that make his comedy news program popular. For a film about a long stint in solitary, it moves swiftly, with very little silence. Even Bahari’s alone time is beset by colloquies with the specter of his dead father, and the Iranian interrogations are manic comedy amid the menace. R. MATTHEW KORFHAGE. Laurelhurst Theater, Academy Theater.

The Skeleton Twins

C Some twins can finish each other’s sentences, or guess what number the other is imagining with to-the-decimal-point accuracy. In The Skeleton Twins, Maggie and Milo’s sibling ESP manifests in simultaneous suicide attempts.

Despite living on different coasts and having had no contact in 10 years, the twins, played by Kristen Wiig and Bill Hader, try to take their own lives at practically the same moment. Neither succeeds, but the incident brings them back under the same roof, in the town in upstate New York where they grew up. That gives them the opportunity finally to deal with their father’s suicide, their absentee mother Maggie’s unhappy marriage and chronic cheating, and the inappropriate relationship that drove the wedge between them a decade earlier. If this sounds like typical Sundance-baiting indie stuff, well, it is. But if there’s one thing writerdirector Craig Johnson gets right, it’s the casting. As former Saturday Night Live castmates, Hader and Wiig come with built-in brother-sister chemistry. One can only imagine how insufferable it would be with anyone else. R. MATTHEW SINGER. Living Room Theaters.

St. Vincent

B- Freshman director Theodore Melfi is a very, very lucky man.

Under most circumstances, his debut, St. Vincent, would be blasted for its contrived, overwrought plot.

Does the world really need another story about a mean old bastard who finds redemption and purpose thanks to a kid? But luckily for Melfi, that crusty bastard is played by Bill Murray, who takes what could have

been a geriatric riff on About a Boy and turns it into a showcase of his ever-evolving comedic prowess.

On its own, St. Vincent would be a cross between melodrama and a sitcom, complete with Naomi Watts as a pregnant Russian prostitute whose accent makes Natasha Fatale’s sound understated. And while Melfi hits familiar beats, he throws in a couple of tragic midfilm twists that help to draw out one of Murray’s best-ever performances.

PG-13. AP KRYZA. Laurelhurst Theater, Academy Theater, Mt. Hood, Valley.

The Tale of the Princess Kaguya

From Studio Ghibli cofounder Isao Takahata comes a hand-drawn adaptation of a 10th-century Japanese folk tale about a girl who emerges from a stalk of bamboo.

PG. Laurelhurst Theater.

The Theory of Everything

B- A brief history of Stephen Hawking’s 30-year marriage to Jane Wilde, The Theory of Everything fits a tad too snugly into the biopic tradition. Anyone who’s seen Errol Morris’ expressionistic 1992 documentary on Hawking knows a conventional approach isn’t ideal for the ALS-afflicted genius—which isn’t to say James Marsh’s new film doesn’t succeed on its own more modest terms. Here, Hawking’s contributions to the fields of physics and cosmology take a backseat to the story of his and Wilde’s courtship, marriage and eventual divorce.

The Theory of Everything is based on Wilde’s memoirs, and Eddie Redmayne and Felicity Jones do a superb job bringing Hawking and Wilde to life, like two shining stars revolving around the same tragic center of gravity. Hawking’s mind never slows as he deteriorates physically, nor does his wife’s resolve to stick with him—until it does, that is. The Theory of Everything might not live up to its ambitious title, but there’s still much to admire in this visually arresting portrait of a long and unique relationship. PG13. MICHAEL NORDINE. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Mill Plain, Cornelius.

Top Five

A- Chris Rock took way too long to

play himself in a movie. Or perhaps it’s more accurate to say he took far too long to make a movie that sounds like he does. That’s the immediate thing to leap out about Top Five, the third film the comic has written, directed and starred in but the first to come across as a true Chris Rock joint: The dialogue has the tone, pacing and detonation of his standup. In the opening scene, Rock, playing a comedian and actor named Andre Allen, strolls down a New York street with Rosario Dawson and explains why

dec. 17–23 America will never vote an “outhandicapped” candidate into the White House: “You run for president, you don’t roll for president!”

Allen isn’t Rock’s precise analog: The real man has never had a franchise as successful as Hammy, a series of buddy comedies starring Allen as a wisecracking cop… who also happens to be a bear.

Like Michael Keaton in Birdman, Allen hopes his turn as a serious auteur, in a film about the Haitian slave rebellion, will shift critical perception and silence the chorus of “Hey, Hammy!” that follows him.

For most of the film, Top Five is a loose, engaging walk-and-talk, something like Before Sunrise meets Seinfeld, energized by interjections of hip-hop brashness. And Rock proves that, for truly hilarious people, funny always finds a way, whether they’re feeling it or not. “Please lower your expectations,” Allen tells the crowd at the Comedy Cellar when he stops by for an impromptu set. As a filmmaker, Rock has just raised ours.

R. MATTHEW SINGER. Clackamas, Fox Tower.

Wild

A- On the Pacific Crest Trail, hikers

speak of the “green tunnel” that greets you in Oregon. This tunnel— lush layers of moss and ferns and Douglas fir—rarely breaks for views and drenches those who enter. As Reese Witherspoon trudges north in Wild, the film adaptation of Portlander Cheryl Strayed’s bestselling memoir about hiking 1,100 miles from scorched California to soggy Oregon, it’s hard not to

MOVIES

anticipate this green tunnel—and its accompanying downpours— like a kid counting down the days till summer vacation. Here’s some good news for Oregonians: Wild gets our state right. It’s also a rich and affecting piece of filmmaking, independent of any book.

For those who’ve been, uh, in the wild, Wild recounts how in 1995, a 26-year-old Strayed undertook a solo trek on the Pacific Crest Trail. Her mother had died of cancer a few years earlier, her marriage had crumbled, and she was self-destructing with the help of heroin and promiscuous sex. Like the book, the film—directed by Jean-Marc Vallée of Dallas Buyers Club—is punctuated by flashbacks. What keeps us engaged isn’t fear about whether Strayed will survive, but the alchemy of physical toil and emotional turmoil, and the way past traumas and current challenges illuminate one another. Vallée doesn’t traffic in nature porn, and the score is wonderfully evocative. That’s not to say Wild is perfect. The screenplay, by Nick Hornby, allows too many voice-over intrusions. Vallée could have stood to cut a few close-ups of Witherspoon looking pensive. There’s some heavyhanded symbolism surrounding a fox that keeps appearing on the trail. But the film—in large part thanks to Witherspoon’s nervy, funny and emotionally rich performance—transcends such flaws.

R. REBECCA JACOBSON. Cinema 21, Hollywood Theatre, Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Lake, Oak Grove, Movies on TV, Sandy, St. Johns Cinemas.

BARRY WETCHER

REVIEW

Willamette Week’s ’STEAD OF TREATED, WE GET TRICKED: Rebooting a franchise can shed new light on a story. Take Annie: In director Will Gluck’s version, the plucky, white orphan is now a plucky, African-American foster kid, played by 10-year-old Oscar nominee Quvenzhané Wallis. Cruel orphanage caretaker Miss Hannigan (Cameron Diaz) is now an abusive ex-C+C Music Factory member/foster-home runner. Daddy Warbucks is Michael Bloomberg—er, a wildly wealthy cellphone mogul named Will Stacks (Jamie Foxx) who’s running for mayor of New York.

Stacks and Annie run into each other (literally), she falls down, and he pulls her out of the street. His campaign team persuades him to take Annie in to pad his paltry polling numbers. Such references to the Machiavellian state of American politics make this Annie feel necessary—don’t miss the oblique references to current Mayor Bill de Blasio’s “two New Yorks” rhetoric, either.

There’s also plenty to titillate tired parents: “silk sheets and Ambien,” says a scumbag campaign staffer when asked how he sleeps at night. At the end of the day, however, Annie needs to entertain kids. Whether the fault of the director or her own inexperience, Wallis’ performance is one-note, and she delivers every line with the same stiff cadence and twee defiance. And save “It’s the Hard Knock Life,” which borrows the beat of JayZ’s 1998 version, the singing and dancing are lukewarm. “You’re Never Fully Dressed Without a Smile” sounds like it belongs in an iPod commercial. Annie’s updates are smart and fun, but with the iconic songs whittled to husks of their former selves, they’ve got nothing to stand on. JAMES HELMSWORTH. C+ SEE IT: Annie is rated PG. It opens Friday at most major Portland-area theaters.

4th Annual

Nonprofits, Here’s your best chance to find great volunteers for the new year ahead!

On January 14 and 21, Willamette Week will be publishing — in print and online — our third annual Volunteer Guide.

It works!

Hurry: The deadline is Monday 1/5 at 4pm.

Contact Matt Plambeck at WW to learn more.

Call 503-445-2757

or go to wweek.com/volunteerguide

Willamette Week DECEMBER 17, 2014 wweek.com

49

MOVIES

AP FILM STUDIES NBA

FREE SPIRIT OF ’77

AUTHOR LARRY COLTON ON THE BIZARRE BLAZERS DOCUMENTARY FAST BREAK.

BY A P KRYZA

apkryza@wweek.com

Most sports documentaries focus on athletes in action. Very few feature cartoon butterflies. Even fewer have sitar music. And only one boasts an NBA All-Star on a berry-picking bike odyssey.

To call Fast Break strange is an understatement. The film—a chronicle of the Trail Blazers’ 1977 NBA championship—is a Zen-like exploration of the team and its legacy as seen through the stoned gaze of ’70s art cinema.

Nearly 40 years after its release, Fast Break has become a cult phenomenon. So we asked Pulitzer-nominated author, Wordstock founder, former WW columnist and short-lived Phillies pitcher (for one game!) Larry Colton—who served as the onscreen interviewer—to shed some light on the film. (Colton will also stick around for a Q&A following the screening at 2 pm Sunday, Dec. 21, at the Hollywood Theatre.)

WW: How do you describe Fast Break?

Larry Colton: It was a filmmaker trying to do an arty-farty sports documentary. Maybe Ravi Shankar wasn’t available, but why is there sitar music on a sports documentary? They’ve got butterflies floating through the air, and long, lingering shots of Walton’s knees pumping over the mountains.

But it captures the innocence of the players back then compared to today. Now they’ve all got their entourages and are making $8 million to sit on the bench. Back then, these guys were part of the community. You see Maurice Lucas, and he was a superstar. He’s just prowling around being Maurice.

At the time, you were writing a book, Idol Time, about Blazermania. Is that how you got involved?

Originally, it was to be a documentary about Bill Walton.

Walton didn’t really do interviews. He had a stutter and was really self-conscious about the media. I’d met him through an assistant coach, so he trusted me. The film crew tried to get permission to do a film about the Blazers, but the NBA turned them down. So they came to me, and said, “You’re writing a book about the Blazers, so we’re doing a film about you writing it.”

VISUAL ARTS GALLERY LISTINGS AND MORE! P. 42 50

Willamette Week DECEMBER 17, 2014 wweek.com

It’s never explained why you’re in the film.

Yes. All of a sudden I show up. There’s a shot of Johnny Davis running around a track at Cleveland High. Bob Gross and I were playing golf at Riverside, so they filmed us out there. I went to a basketball camp with Dave Twardzik. We went to the state penitentiary. Neil Goldschmidt is in the movie, which in retrospect is kind of weird.

And you went on a two-day bike trip with Walton down the Oregon Coast.

Walton was going with a buddy from UCLA, who at the last minute canceled. The night before the

BASKET CASE: Bill Walton and some unimportant Los Angeles Laker.

trip, the film crew called me. The farthest I’d ever ridden my bike was to the grocery store. I had a three-speed with a baby seat on the back. Walton had this fancy English racing bike. He’d take off, and a couple minutes later he was out of sight. I basically rode down the entire coast by myself.

He’d wait for me, and I’d catch up, out of breath— every part of my body was hurting, especially my butt—and he’d say, “Let’s hit it!” It was almost 100 degrees. It was ridiculous.

ALSO SHOWING: The Hollywood’s Critic’s Choice series closes with, well, with me. I’ll be presenting the overlooked Roman Polanski paranoid thriller/black comedy The Tenant. Come see if I really look like the illustration on this page. Hollywood Theatre. 7:30 pm Wednesday, Dec. 17.

In horror romp Silent Night, Bloody Night, Andy Warhol’s favorite actors spend Christmas with a serial killer. Joy Cinema. 9 pm Wednesday, Dec. 17.

Fashion in Film resurrects the Drew Barrymore thriller Poison Ivy, which in 1992 became a staple of sleepover cinema for horny preteen boys everywhere. Hollywood Theatre. 9:45 pm Friday, Dec. 19.

Die Hard proves the true meaning of Christmas is winning back the love of your wife by killing a shitload of terrorists. Laurelhurst Theater, Dec. 1923. Mission Theater, Dec. 19-25.

Scut Farkus rides his yellow-eyed reign of terror in A Christmas Story. Mission Theater. Dec. 19-25.

The Muppet Christmas Carol is proof that not even Kermit can make Dickens completely unterrifying. Academy Theater. Dec. 19-25.

The Clinton Street celebrates Christmas by inviting people to lounge in robes and watch The Big Lebowski. Clinton Street Theater. Dec. 22-28.

Sometimes, the best way to celebrate Christmas is with a sexually repressed, ax-murdering Santa.

That’s why we have Silent Night, Deadly Night.

Hollywood Theatre. 7:30 pm Tuesday, Dec. 23.

MOVIES

COURTESY OF GRAMERCY PICTURES

DEC. 19–25

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Publishes Jan 28 deadline to reserve ad sPace: Thursday, Jan 22 aT 4 pm call: 503.243.2122 | email: advertising@wweek.com

THE DUDE ABIDES: The Big Lebowski plays Dec. 22-28 at the Clinton Street Theater.

Regal Lloyd Center 10 & IMAX

1510 NE Multnomah St. THE HOBBIT: THE BATTLE OF THE FIVE ARMIES -AN IMAX 3D EXPERIENCE Fri-Sat-Sun 11:35, 03:10, 07:00, 10:30 THE HOBBIT: THE BATTLE OF THE FIVE ARMIES Fri-Sat-Sun 12:10, 03:55, 07:40 BOLSHOI BALLET: THE NUTCRACKER Sun 12:55 INTO THE WOODS Wed 07:00 THE GAMBLER Wed 07:00 THE INTERVIEW Wed 07:00 UNBROKEN Wed 07:00

Regal Lloyd Mall 8

Mission Theater and Pub

1624 NW Glisan St., 503-249-7474-5 FURY Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-TueWed 01:30 A CHRISTMAS STORY Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 04:35, 07:00 DIE HARD Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 09:30

Moreland Theatre

6712 SE Milwaukie Ave., 503236-5257 THE HOBBIT: THE BATTLE OF THE FIVE ARMIES FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 02:35

2320 Lloyd Center Mall ANNIE Fri-Sat-Sun 11:40, 02:40, 05:40, 08:40 NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM: SECRET OF THE TOMB Fri-Sat-Sun 12:10, 03:00, 05:50, 08:50 THE HOBBIT: THE BATTLE OF THE FIVE ARMIES 3D Fri-Sat-Sun 12:40, 02:30, 06:00, 08:30

Roseway Theatre

Bagdad Theater

St. Johns Cinemas

3702 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 503-249-7474 THE HOBBIT: THE BATTLE OF THE FIVE ARMIES FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:30, 03:00, 07:00

Cinema 21

616 NW 21st Ave., 503-223-4515 WILD Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 03:15, 03:45, 04:15, 06:00, 06:30, 07:00

Clinton Street Theater

2522 SE Clinton St., 503-238-8899 I AM ELEVEN Fri 07:30 BAD MOVIE NIGHT Fri 09:30 THE AMAZING BUBBLE MAN Sat-SunMon-Tue 02:00 THE ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW Sat 12:00 THE BIG LEBOWSKI Mon-Tue-Wed 07:30

Laurelhurst Theatre & Pub

2735 E Burnside St., 503-232-5511 DIE HARD Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue 09:20 ST. VINCENT Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue 07:00 FURY Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue 06:45 JOHN WICK Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 09:40 GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue 06:30 ROSEWATER Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 09:00 BOYHOOD Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue 06:15 DEAR WHITE PEOPLE Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue 09:30 THE TALE OF THE PRINCESS KAGUYA Sat-Sun 01:00 THE BOXTROLLS Sat-Sun 01:30

7229 NE Sandy Blvd., 503-282-2898 THE HOBBIT: THE BATTLE OF THE FIVE ARMIES 3D Fri-Sat-Tue-Wed 01:00, 04:30, 08:00 THE HOBBIT: THE BATTLE OF THE FIVE ARMIES Sun-Mon 01:00, 04:30, 08:00 8704 N Lombard St., 503-286-1768 THE HOBBIT: THE BATTLE OF THE FIVE ARMIES Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-TueWed 03:50, 07:00, 10:00 EXODUS: GODS AND KINGS Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 05:00, 07:55 WILD

Kiggins Theatre

1011 Main St., 360-816-0352 WHITE CHRISTMAS Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 07:30 IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 07:30

Century 16 Eastport Plaza

4040 SE 82nd Ave. BIG HERO 6 Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:05, 01:45, 04:35, 07:25 INTERSTELLAR Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:00, 02:40 THE HUNGER GAMES: MOCKINGJAY, PART 1 Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 10:35, 01:35, 04:40, 07:40 PENGUINS OF MADAGASCAR FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 09:40, 12:15, 02:50, 05:15, 07:40 HORRIBLE BOSSES 2 Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-TueWed 11:25, 02:15, 05:05, 07:45 THE THEORY OF EVERYTHING Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 10:30, 01:30 WILD Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 10:10, 01:10, 04:15, 07:10 EXODUS: GODS AND KINGS Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 09:50, 01:15, 08:15 EXODUS: GODS AND KINGS 3D Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:30, 03:00, 04:45 THE HOBBIT: THE BATTLE OF THE FIVE ARMIES Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 11:10, 12:50, 02:30, 05:00, 07:30 THE HOBBIT:

THE BATTLE OF THE FIVE ARMIES 3D Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 09:30, 10:20, 12:00, 01:40, 03:20, 04:10, 05:50, 08:20 NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM: SECRET OF THE TOMB Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 10:40, 12:00, 01:20, 02:40, 04:00, 05:20, 06:40, 08:00 ANNIE FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 10:00, 01:00, 04:00, 07:00 THE GAMBLER Wed 07:00 INTO THE WOODS Wed 07:00 UNBROKEN Wed 07:00 THE INTERVIEW Wed 07:00

Kennedy School Theater

5736 NE 33rd Ave., 503-249-7474-4 ALEXANDER AND THE TERRIBLE, HORRIBLE, NO GOOD, VERY BAD DAY Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:00, 05:30 FURY FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 07:30 GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 02:30

Empirical Theatre at OMSI

1945 SE Water Ave., 503-797-4000 WALKING WITH DINOSAURS 3D Fri-SatSun 11:00, 03:30 WILD OCEAN Fri-Sat-Sun 02:30 BEARS Fri-Sat-Sun 01:00 D-DAY: NORMANDY 1944 Fri-Sun 12:00 FLIGHT OF THE BUTTERFLIES FriSat-Sun 10:00 GREAT WHITE SHARK Fri 05:30 THE POLAR EXPRESS Fri-Sat-Sun 04:30 THE BOXTROLLS Sat 04:30

Hollywood Theatre

4122 NE Sandy Blvd., 503-281-4215 WILD Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 06:45, 09:15 BIRDMAN OR (THE UNEXPECTED VIRTUE OF IGNORANCE) FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue 09:00 WHY DON’T YOU PLAY IN HELL? Fri-Sat-Sun 09:35 THE PRINCESS BRIDE Fri 07:00 POISON IVY Fri 09:45 IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 06:30 HOLIDAY INN Sat 07:00 FAST BREAK Sun 02:00 THE MOVIE QUIZ Mon 07:00 PERFECT BLUE Mon 09:30 SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT Tue 07:30

NW Film Center’s Whitsell Auditorium

1219 SW Park Ave., 503-221-1156 LEVEL FIVE Fri-Sat-Sun 02:30, 07:00 2014 BRITISH ARROW AWARDS Sat-Sun 05:00

Regal Pioneer Place Stadium 6

340 SW Morrison St. ANNIE Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue 11:30, 02:20, 05:10, 07:50, 10:30 NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM: SECRET OF THE TOMB Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue 11:40, 02:30, 05:20, 08:00, 10:40 THE

HOBBIT: THE BATTLE OF THE FIVE ARMIES Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue 12:30, 07:30 THE HOBBIT: THE BATTLE OF THE FIVE ARMIES 3D Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 11:50, 03:15, 06:30, 10:00 INTO THE WOODS Wed 07:00 THE INTERVIEW Wed 07:30

St. Johns Theater

8203 N Ivanhoe St., 503-249-7474-6 NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM: SECRET OF THE TOMB Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:45, 03:30

Jenna Zine Presents:

COMEDIANS & COMEDIES

BAD SANTA A series featuring live standup, followed by a film screening.

Century Clackamas Town Center and XD

12000 SE 82nd Ave. BIG HERO 6 Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 10:40, 01:30, 04:20 INTERSTELLAR Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-TueWed 11:10, 02:50, 06:30 THE HUNGER GAMES: MOCKINGJAY, PART 1 Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-TueWed 10:00, 11:00, 01:00, 04:00, 07:00 PENGUINS OF MADAGASCAR FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 10:05, 12:35, 03:05, 05:35 HORRIBLE BOSSES 2 FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:25, 02:15, 04:55, 07:45 FURY Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 10:00, 01:05, 04:15, 07:25 THE THEORY OF EVERYTHING Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 10:45, 01:45, 04:40, 07:35 WILD Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:00, 01:50, 04:40, 07:30 EXODUS: GODS AND KINGS Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:15, 02:55, 06:25 EXODUS: GODS AND KINGS 3D FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 10:15, 11:55, 01:55, 03:30 THE HOBBIT: THE BATTLE OF THE FIVE ARMIES FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:00, 03:20, 06:40, 08:35 THE HOBBIT: THE BATTLE OF THE FIVE ARMIES 3D Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 10:10, 11:20, 01:40, 02:40, 05:10 NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM: SECRET OF THE TOMB Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 10:35, 11:50, 01:15, 02:35, 03:55, 05:15, 06:35, 07:55 ANNIE Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 10:30, 01:25, 04:20, 07:15 TOP FIVE Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:35, 02:20, 05:00, 07:40 IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE Sun-Wed 02:00, 07:00 BOLSHOI BALLET: THE NUTCRACKER Sun 12:55 THE IMITATION GAME Wed 07:00 THE GAMBLER Wed 08:00 INTO THE WOODS Wed 07:00 UNBROKEN Wed 07:00 THE INTERVIEW Wed 07:00 SUBJECT TO CHANGE. CALL THEATERS OR VISIT WWEEK.COM/MOVIETIMES FOR THE MOST UP-TO-DATE INFORMATION

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Willamette Week DECEMBER 17, 2014 wweek.com

51

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We had questions. So many questions. So we called Davis—co-owner of the Applegate River Lodge and better known as “Pa Butt”—to ask how Sugar Bob spends his time, whether he has a favorite strain and if he ever gets the munchies. Read a full interview at wweek.com/sugarbob.

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WW: Tell me more about Sugar Bob. Richard Davis: This is Sugar Bob 2. I had a Sugar Bob 14 years ago, when I had an old golden lab by the name of Bacon who was ready to pass. The deer swim down the river to us when they’re two or three days old. They’re really spirit deer. The head of the Yurok Nation explained it to me.

What’s his personality like?

SB2 is a lot more outgoing than my other one was.

And he’s really smart. Like when I tell him, “Let’s go bye-bye,” he’ll wait by the van ’til I’m ready.

When I say “night, night,” he’ll come in and lie down. He crawls in bed with me and Trooper every so often, but he’s not a very good sleeper.

How else does Sugar Bob spend his time?

I’ve taken him to people in their last days, to make their passing more peaceful. We do weddings at the lodge, and Sugar Bob did, like, six weddings before he was 5 weeks old. People spread their flowers going up to the altar, and he eats all the petals and goes up and sits through the whole service.

Do you consider him a pet?

No, I never pen him up. He’s not a pet. He’s a companion. He just likes hanging with me, and I like hanging with him. He’s free to come or go at his own will. He’s addicted to coffee, and he’ll run across the street to the local cafe and bum coffee off them.

How does he take his coffee?

He takes it with cream and sugar. Sugar Bob is a sugar freak, plain and simple.

I think I’ve got to cut him off. I really don’t think he should have an addiction.

How does marijuana affect him?

It makes him sleepy. He’s like a little baby. He gets heavy eyes, his head will start nodding, and pretty soon he’ll be flat on the bed, peaceful as can be.

Does he have a favorite strain?

No. He’s like me, he doesn’t care what it is. It’s organically grown Oregon weed.

Does he get the munchies?

He’s got a voracious appetite. He likes bananas and apples, and madrone leaves and rose petals.

Coffee is the only thing he really joneses for. And he’s definitely got a weakness for sugar.

For more information on John Callahan’s memorial, see ffojohncallahan.tumblr.com.

52

Willamette Week DECEMBER 17, 2014 wweek.com

CLASSIFIEDS DIRECTORY 53

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Willamette Week Classifieds DECEMBER 17, 2014 wweek.com

53

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CHATLINES

Find your Flame on

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59 “I Can’t Make You Love Me” singer Bonnie 60 Way to stop a bike 62 “Sesame Street” star 63 Title for a monk 64 Spitting nails 65 “No questions ___” 66 Despite everything 67 Dueling weapon

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Across 11 Nicholas II of Russia, say 5 Close male friend 8 Curse word that’s “dropped,” for short 13 Yellowstone grazer 14 50 Cent piece?

15 Parts partner 16 Christmas present often regifted 18 Love to pieces 19 Drywall mineral 20 Google

employee, often 22 Get your ducks in ___ 24 Island, in French 25 James Joyce novel with its own unique vocabulary 31 Hard-to-find book character 33 Performing ___ 34 Social-climbing type 35 Ex-”Saturday Night Live” player Gasteyer 36 Sports maneuver (and

alternate title for this puzzle) 39 “All ___ day’s work” 40 “So what if ___?”

42 “I ___ little silhouetto of a man...”

43 Vox piece 45 It’s gripping 48 Assist 49 Hatcher who played Lois Lane 50 Epitome of deadness 55 Comprehend

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Magic Garden, born in 1968 as a lesbian club, raised on stiff drinks and sexy good times to become Portland's Indie Rock Strip Club, will cease existence on New Year's Day 2015.

It will be remembered as a loving enclave of dimly lit good times, beautiful, natural dancers and good cheap food.

Magic Garden is survived by thousands of people who've staggered out with a smile on their faces.

Remembrances may be made up to and including New Years Eve at Magic Garden.

Teligence/18+

Classified

54

last week’s answers

©2014 Jonesin’ Crosswords (editor@jonesincrosswords.com) For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle #JONZ706.

CHATLINE TM

www.livelinks.com

Down 1 Conservative in the House of Lords 2 Progresso product 3 “To reiterate...”

4 First two words in some movie sequel titles 5 Sports ___ 6 It leaves no leaves 7 Sign on a store 8 Thrashes about 9 “You didn’t get the job,” for example 10 Clarinet’s relative 11 “Encore!”

12 “Song of the South” title for Rabbit or Fox 13 Industrial activity, for short 17 “Let’s go!”

21 Infomercial knife brand 23 Undermine 25 Distinctive style 26 Avarice

27 “To the newlyweds!” opener 28 Ouzo ingredient 29 Hawaiian coffee region 30 StubHub’s parent company 31 Dickensian child, often 32 One on the “nay” side 37 Carne ___ 38 Like coupons and notebook paper 41 Wise guy 44 Vacation where you buy lift passes 46 Dropped clues 47 Weight 50 De Matteo of “Sons of Anarchy” 51 Rowboat accessories 52 “Old MacDonald” noise 53 Doubtful 54 Accumulated traditions 56 Eat, as a meal 57 “Grapes of Wrath” migrant 58 Pre-___ student 61 Grain in granola

wweekdotcom wweekdotcom 217 NW 4th Ave. 503-224-8472 magicgardenportland.com

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Week of December 18

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ARIES (March 21-April 19): “Too much happiness can make you unhappy,” reported journalist Marta Zaraska in the Washington Post. Citing research by psychologists, she concluded that being super-extra cheerful can make you selfish, gullible, and more prone to stereotyped thinking. On the other hand, she said, maintaining merely moderate levels of happiness is pretty damn good for your mental and physical health.

So here’s the takeaway, Aries: The astrological omens suggest you’re due for a surge of joy and pleasure. Just be careful it doesn’t spill over into rash, delirious excess. Here’s your watchword: well-grounded delight.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): In the 19th century, the Grimm brothers gathered over 200 old fairy tales from a variety of sources and published them in an unprecedented collection. Many of their stories are still popular, including “Cinderella,” “Snow White,” “Hansel and Gretel,” and “Rapunzel.” Around the same time they did their work, a storyteller named Franz Xaver von Schönwerth assembled his own compendium of fantastic myths, fables, and folklore. Unlike the Grimm brothers’ book, his work faded into obscurity.

But it was rediscovered in 2011, and 500 lost fairy tales are now finding their way into newly published books.

I foresee a comparable phenomenon happening for you in 2015, Taurus. Forgotten stories will return. Raw material from the depths will resurface. Interesting news from the past will come flowing into the present.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Your first task is to ascertain the half-truth, the whole half-truth, and nothing but the whole half-truth. Only then will you be able to find the other half of the truth. I realize it may be frustrating to use this approach. You’d probably prefer to avoid wrangling with the deceptions and misdirections. But I think it’s the only way to jostle loose the hidden or missing information. For best results, be a cunning and unsentimental detective who’s eager to solve the mystery. Don’t focus on finding fault or assigning blame.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): One of the ingredients that makes yoga mats so soft and springy is the chemical azodicarbonamide. The same stuff is added to the soles of shoes. There’s a third place where it’s used, too: in the burger buns sold by McDonald’s, Burger King, Wendy’s, and other fast food joints. I’m not suggesting that you order a big supply of azodicarbonamide and ingest it. But I do hope you will consider the metaphorical equivalent: doing whatever’s necessary to make yourself bouncy and fluffy and pliable and supple and resilient.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): “There are two kinds of light,” said author James Thurber, “the glow that illuminates, and the glare that obscures.” Lately you have been an abundant source of that first kind of light, Leo. The fire in your heart and the gleam in your eyes have not only brightened the mood wherever you’ve gone. They have also clarified confusing situations, warmed chilly attitudes, and healed dispirited allies. Thank you! In the coming weeks, I’d love to see you continue on your hot streak. To help ensure that you do, keep your ego under control. Don’t let it pretend that it owns the light you’re emitting. With a little introspection, you will continue to generate illumination, not glare.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Studies suggest that 57 percent of all people with access to the Internet have engaged in the practice known as ego-surfing. This modern art form consists of searching Google for mentions of one’s own name. This is a suspiciously low figure unless we factor in the data uncovered by my own research -- which is that a disproportionately small amount of Virgos go ego-surfing: only 21 percent. If you are one of the 79 percent of your tribe who does not indulge, I invite you to remedy the situation. It’s an excellent time to risk exploring the potential benefits of increased self-interest and self-regard.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): When I started writing horoscopes many years ago, I was a good astrologer but an unexceptional writer. Eventually, the practice of composing 12 packets of pithy prose every week allowed me to improve my authorial skills. The stuff I

composed in the early years wasn’t bad, but I wouldn’t want to present it as my work any more. So should I feel guilty that I got paid and appreciated for those old efforts even though I was less than perfect? Did I get away with something I shouldn’t have gotten away with? I don’t think so. I was doing the best I could at the time. And even my unpolished astrological musings were helpful to many people. Now, Libra, I invite you to apply these meditations to you own unfolding destiny.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): You may already know what I’m about to tell you. It’s a core principle at the root of your Scorpio heritage. But I want to focus your attention on it. In the coming months, you’ll be wise to keep it at the forefront of your conscious awareness.

Here it is, courtesy of philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche: “You have it in your power to invest everything you have lived through -- your experiments, false starts, errors, delusions, passions, your love and your hope -- into your goal, with nothing left over.”

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): “A savage desire for strong emotions and sensations burns inside me: a rage against this soft-tinted, shallow, standardized and sterilized life.” So says Harry Haller, the protagonist of Herman Hesse’s novel Steppenwolf. His declaration could serve as an interesting point of reference for you in the coming months, Sagittarius -- not as a mood for everyday use, but as a poetic inspiration that you periodically call on to invigorate your lust for life.

My invitation has a caveat, however. I advise you not to adopt the rest of Harry Haller’s rant, in which he says that he also has “a mad craving to smash something up, a department store, or a cathedral, or myself.”

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): I have lived near an open space preserve for five years. Up until the last two months, it has been a peaceful, quite place.

But then the coyotes moved in. Just after dusk every evening, a pack of them start yipping and yowling in the distance. At first I found the racket to be eerie and unsettling. It activated some primal unease in me. And yet the coyotes have never actually been a problem. They don’t roam into my neighborhood and try to bite people or prey on pets. So now I’ve come to relish the situation: The wild things are close and exciting, but not dangerous. I’m guessing this has a metaphorical resemblance to what your life will be like in the next six months, Capricorn.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Stanstead, Quebec and Derby Line, Vermont are really a single town that straddles the border between the U.S. and Canada. Many of the people who live there have dual citizenship, but they’re still supposed to carry their passports with them at all times. I suspect you may experience a metaphorical version of this split in the coming months, Aquarius. You will be in a situation that has a split down the middle or a seemingly unnatural division. Whether it turns out to be a problem or an opportunity will depend on your adaptability and flexibility.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): When a dead tree topples over in the woods, its withered branches may get entangled with the branches of a living tree that’s standing nearby. As years go by, the living tree must grow the best it can with the decaying wood trapped in its midst. Has something like that ever happened to you?

Are you still carrying the rot that other people have burdened you with? If so, the coming months will be an excellent time to get disentangled. A tree isn’t capable of freeing itself from the dead weight of the past, but you are -- especially in the first half of 2015.

Homework What’s the one feeling you want to feel more than any other in 2015? Tell all: Truthrooster@gmail.com.

check out Rob Brezsny’s Expanded Weekly Audio Horoscopes & Daily Text Message Horoscopes

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