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EDITORIAL Managing Editor for News Brent Walth Arts & Culture Editor Martin Cizmar Staff Writers Andrea Damewood, Nigel Jaquiss, Aaron Mesh Copy Chief Rob Fernas Copy Editors Matt Buckingham, Peggy Capps Stage & Screen Editor Rebecca Jacobson Music Editor Matthew Singer Books Penelope Bass Classical Brett Campbell Dance Aaron Spencer Theater Rebecca Jacobson Visual Arts Richard Speer Editorial Interns Ann-Derrick Gaillot, Ashley Jocz, Matthew Kauffman, Enid Spitz, Kaitie Todd, Brandon Widder

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3

INBOX PARKING IN MODERN TIMES

As a Southeast Stumptown homeowner, I notice that folks in single-family dwellings tend to assume “rights” to the street—aka the commons—in front of their homes [“Paranoid Parking,” WW, April 3, 2013]. I’ve heard that sentiment in my own house and from neighbors, like it’s a sort of unwritten perk for paying property taxes, or for getting here first, or something.

Americans were sold a bill of goods right after WWII, when developers, banks and Congress sanctified the American dream of single-family dwellings, along with the vision of a car in every driveway and a chicken in every pot. Postwar industry boomed. Capitalism flourished as homes, gadgets and gizmos filled the land. Exurban and suburban sprawl gobbled up the countryside.

Fast-forward 60 years, and here we are. The population has doubled, density is increasing, and the climate is crashing. Clearly, the old rules and assumptions no longer serve, if they ever did.

So, maybe all neighborhood street parking should be open to block-by-block lotteries.

Maybe all spots on each block should be divvied up annually, or rotated monthly, based on residency.

Maybe whoever gets a spot, gets a spot, and everyone else needs to take a deep breath, and another. The city’s policy based on the idyllic fantasy of forcing an all-bike-and-transit-riding population is absurd, but it raises issues we all need to think about long and hard. It’s 2013, not 1963, and the good old days aren’t coming back.

Betty Toll Southeast Portland

Why are boner pills so damn expensive? Even with my Kaiser insurance, it’s $135 for eight of the little bastards. Can’t our local meth cooks make this stuff ?

—Going Broke in Camas

7953 SE 13th Ave • (503) 233-9392

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Willamette Week APRIL 10, 2013 wweek.com

One of the differences between me and Oscar Wilde—aside from my noticeably firmer buttocks—is that Oscar Wilde probably didn’t have voices in the back of his head that were continually composing horribly obscene lyrics to the tunes of popular songs.

It’s hard to be urbane and sophisticated when your internal monologue is merrily reimagining “Under the Boardwalk” as a paean to the taint called “Under the Butthole,” obliging your conscious mind to waste bandwidth scrambling for a rhyme for “perineum” before the bridge comes round again. (It turns out to be “can’t wait to see ’em,” but, even so, Lady Windermere’s Fan it ain’t.)

Given this unfortunate circumstance, Broke, I reach for your letter in genuine hopes of raising

With fears of a lawsuit by the developer of the outsized Southeast 37th Avenue & Division Street “slum of tomorrow,” the City Council moves to not require off-street parking for yet another 80 apartments, thereby continuing the decline of livability in the Richmond neighborhood. This City Council continues to build Portland’s reputation as Podunk on the Willamette.

Where has courage gone?

Frank DiMarco Southeast Portland

DEALING WITH THE DRUNKEN

How about this? You go to the drunk tank twice, your driver’s license or state ID gets a stamp, saying “do not serve” [“Tanked,” WW, April 3, 2013].

Servers and retail sellers are not allowed to sell [alcohol] to these folks. They are treated like underage kids in that regard.

If they go six months without readmission to the drunk tank, the stamp is voided. I know there are lots of legal hurdles, but it’s the start of a conversation.

—“Steve” Cutting the budget for [the Central City Concern Sobering Station] is the most idiotic thing I have ever heard. Why would you cut off your nose to spite your face? The funds are there and need to be maintained.

—“Jurgen Procklater” LETTERS TO THE EDITOR must include the author’s street address and phone number for verification.

Letters must be 250 or fewer words.

Submit to: 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210.

Fax: (503) 243-1115. Email: mzusman@wweek.com

the level of discourse.

You will probably not be surprised to learn that the high cost of Viagra is not due to its being made from solid gold or gnome wieners, but because, as holder of the U.S. patent monopoly, Pfizer gets to charge what it wants.

But that’s not true worldwide. Generic versions of sildenafil are available in both Brazil and India, for example. This circumstance has led many adventurous tumescence enthusiasts to take their chances with sketchy international online pharmacies, where you can buy this drug (and many others) for a few bucks a dose.

Is this safe, legal and reliable? Not even close—but it’s probably better than commissioning your friendly neighborhood meth cook to whip something up on your behalf. Failing that, you could just become a Pfizer exec and get your boners the way they do—by screwing the customers. Ba-dum-BUMP! QUESTIONS? Send them to dr.know@wweek.com

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5

PUBLIC SAFETY: A police beating caught on tape.

ARTS: City Hall’s lack of nerve in cutting arts funding.

HEALTH CARE: Medical cost controls—except for hospital CEO pay.

COVER STORY: Our annual bike issue.

7 8 10 12

The Bureau of Development Services has suspended four commercial electrical inspectors and fired one after an investigation found they were loafing at a Northwest Industrial District diner. Sources familiar with the investigation tell WW the commercial project inspectors allegedly met on city time, as often as three days a week, for brunch at the Guild’s Lake Inn, at Northwest 29th and Yeon avenues. A BDS official said this week the bureau plans to place GPS tracking devices in all city-owned vehicles—in part to make sure they are in the places they’ve been assigned to inspect.

While lawmakers dither about guns, one man, Kevin Mannix, has a plan. Mannix, a former Salem lawmaker and GOP candidate for governor, is sponsoring a ballot initiative for 2014 that would eliminate liability for homeowners or business owners who use force to defend their property and themselves against trespassers. The measure, called the Oregon Castle Doctrine Act, would justify force against an mannix intruder, including in cases that result in the trespasser’s injury or death. “It’s meant to provide people with peace of mind in their homes or business,” says Mannix, whose similar measures in 2010 and 2012 didn’t make the ballot.

Anjean Bryant, who left a Vancouver teaching position in November to become executive assistant to All Hands Raised CEO Dan Ryan, filed suit in Multnomah County Circuit Court on April 9 against the education nonprofit and Ryan for discrimination and breach of contract. Bryant claims Ryan fired her seven days after she began her $55,000 job, a termination she says was “emotionally devastating.” Bryant is seeking $37,000 in lost wages and $300,000 in damages. Scott Oborne, attorney for All Hands Raised and Ryan, said the organization had not seen the lawsuit and had no comment.

The City of Portland is looking at canceling its contract with Multnomah County for a 16-bed mental-health crisis center where Portland police can take people in mental distress—but rarely do. City Commissioners Steve Novick and Nick Fish have recommended to Mayor Charlie Hales that the city end its $634,000-a-year contract with the county for the Crisis Assessment and Treatment Center at 55 NE Grand Ave. The facility opened in June above the Central City Concern Sobering Center. Police say they don’t like using the center because its admission policies are burdensome. “This is not a matter of sticking it to the county,” Novick says. “Something that we thought we were going to be using but are not using has to be on the table.” County spokesman David Austin says the police “have every opportunity to use this system. It’s working.”

Read more Murmurs and daily scuttlebutt.

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clockwise, from top: courtesy of kafoury and macdougal; kurt armstrong; mcso.us

NEWS PUNCH DRUNK A VIDEO OF A COP PUNCHING A SUSPECT SURFACES AS LAWYERS IN THE CASE SEEK TO REWRITE STATE LAW ON EXCESSIVE FORCE.

By An d r e A dA m e woo d adamewood@wweek.com

Jason Cox says he was beaten by cops.

But he has what a lot of people who allege police brutality don’t: a video.

On June 18, 2011, Portland cops arrested Cox, then 37, in the parking lot of an East Portland strip club on suspicion of driving under the influence. Cops say they had to use force to subdue him.

But Cox says he was beaten up by police without provocation. And his attorneys say the video—taken from a motion-activated security camera above the parking lot of the Pallas Club at Southeast 136th Avenue and Powell Boulevard—shows something different from what three Portland cops, who punched Cox and shocked him four times with a Taser, claim happened.

Cops say Cox fought them and resisted arrest. The video, however, shows officers punching Cox while he is on the ground and showing no signs of resistance.

Cox filed a $545,000 suit in Multnomah County Circuit Court on April 9 against the city, alleging assault and battery. He declined to comment on the case.

“It’s one of the most egregious excessive-force cases, and it’s just clear as day on video,” Jason Kafoury, Cox’s Portland attorney, tells WW. “He thought they were going to kill him.”

Police spokesman Sgt. Pete Simpson says Internal Affairs reviewed reports and the entire video, and interviewed three independent witnesses, including a police chaplain. He said investigators found the officers’ reports were consistent with the video, and their actions were within bureau policy and state law. Simpson says the Independent Police Review board looked at the case and agreed with Internal Affairs.

Last fall, the U.S. Department of Justice rapped the bureau for excessive use of force, including overuse of Tasers, against the mentally ill. Although it didn’t address force used against other suspects, the DOJ did caution the department to use restraint. The bureau is updating its Taser

TAPED TAKEDOWN: Security-camera footage shows a Portland police officer repeatedly punch Portland resident Jason Cox on June 18, 2011, in a East Portland strip club’s parking lot. Cox filed a $545,000 lawsuit against the city April 9, claiming assault and battery. Below left is Cox’s mug shot from that night, and Cox today.

and use-of-force policies and will pay about $5 million to implement DOJ reforms.

Court records show Cox has received six traffic tickets in the past 15 years. In 2008, Cox was charged with assaulting his wife, but those charges were later dismissed. Cox also was found guilty of DUII in 2008 in Clark County, Wash.

Officer Jeffrey Elias, in his report, said he stopped Cox just after 10 pm because he saw Cox’s Chevy pickup fishtailing and speeding as he left nearby Papa-Son’s Bar. He writes that Cox “became agitated and asked me why I was stopping him.” Kafoury, Cox’s attorney, concedes his client did argue with officers about being stopped.

And this is where discrepancies between police reports and the video—available at wweek.com—begin.

Elias wrote that “Cox had slurred speech, smelled like alcohol and was unsteady on his feet.” The video, which does not have sound, shows Cox walking and standing without losing his balance.

Two other East Precinct officers, Robert Bruders and Sarah Kerwin, soon arrived to assist Elias. Bruders’ report says Cox was standing in a “fighting position.” The video shows Cox, agitated, standing several feet away with arms folded, as he complies with a field sobriety test.

Elias asked Bruders to help him arrest Cox. Bruders wrote that he felt Cox “immediately tense up and try to pull his left arm in front of his body.” But the video shows that Cox voluntarily put his arms behind his back when officers tried to arrest him.

Elias and Bruders wrote that Cox refused to spread his feet. The video shows them kick his left foot out as they push him

to the ground, and Bruders punches Cox at least six times on the left side of his face.

“He was trying to roll and lift up as we struggled with him,” Elias wrote. Kerwin says Cox was “rolling around and swinging his legs at the officers on scene.”

The video shows that Cox lay largely motionless and didn’t kick his legs until Kerwin hit him with the first of four fivesecond shocks with a Taser, all applied in one minute’s time, according to Kerwin’s Taser records.

The officers say in their reports that Cox held his arms underneath his body and refused to bring them out. After her third Taser cycle, Kerwin writes, she saw Cox “attempt to pull his arm back almost as if he was going to strike Ofc. Elias.” The video doesn’t show that.

The city’s Taser policy allows use of the device when a suspect uses “physically evasive movements to defeat an officer’s attempt at control, including bracing, tensing, pushing, or verbally signaling an intention to avoid or prevent being taken into or retained in custody.” Multiple shocks are allowed, although police should “make every reasonable effort to handcuff the subject during and between Taser cycles.”

Kafoury says Cox, an ironworker,

needed an $18,000 shoulder surgery after his arrest, preventing him from working.

“The punches to his face by the 270-pound officer [Bruders] embedded concrete into his flesh, and bits were still coming out weeks later,” he adds.

Cox’s mug shot shows him with a pulped-up and swollen face. Later, when filing a search warrant to draw Cox’s blood to test for alcohol, Officer Jay Goodrich lists a flushed face and a bloodshot, watery right eye as signs of Cox’s intoxication.

A blood test showed that Cox’s blood alcohol content was .07 percent, under the legal limit of .08, Kafoury says. Court records show Cox was charged with DUII, reckless driving, resisting arrest, interfering with police, and disorderly conduct.

He later pleaded guilty to DUII; the other charges were dropped.

Elias, Bruders and Kerwin do not have a publicly available record of brutality (the police union has blocked disclosure of complaints against individual officers). Bruders was featured on an episode of Cops in 2010, when he busts two people for having sex in the back of a truck near a park.

As first reported on wweek.com, Kafoury and his father, Greg, are behind an Oregon Senate bill that would end the use of binding arbitration to review cases in which Portland police are accused of using excessive force.

“We’ve spent years watching officers hurt people and juries finding they used excessive force,” Jason Kafoury says, “and in the end, there’s no punishment for the officers. No officer has ever permanently lost a job over excessive force on a citizen.”

Willamette Week APRIL 10, 2013 wweek.com

7

NEWS

arts morgan hopkins-green

RACC ’EM UP CITY HALL MUST REDUCE SERVICES BUT IT LACKS THE NERVE TO CUT ITS BUDGET FOR THE ARTS. By aa r o n m e s h

bleed

amesh@wweek.com

Last December, the Regional Arts & Culture Council threw Mayor Sam Adams a huge going-away gala.

The tribute, “pARTy in the Name of Art,” included a “Sammania” show with Bodyvox dancers, Portlandia star Fred Armisen and singer Storm Large. And at the end of the night, celebrants were led by a student from PHAME Academy—an arts program for adults with developmental disabilities—in a sing-along of Modest Mouse’s “Float On.” The arts council, known as RACC, had good reason to fete Adams. Behind the scenes, Adams increased the city’s annual funding of RACC from $4.7 million in 2009 to $5.6 million last year. And then he fought for—and won—voter approval of a new $35-a-person arts tax.

RACC has never been more flush with taxpayer money.

Even with Adams gone, nobody at City Hall is prepared to stop the music.

The city’s budget faces a $25 million hole, and city commissioners have gone public this week with ideas for how to cut spending, including cutting police ranks and selling surplus property.

Mayor Charlie Hales has asked every city bureau to offer proposed budget cuts of up to 10 percent. Jeff Hawthorne, RACC’s director of community affairs, says RACC has submitted a proposal to cut 10 percent of its special appropriation—about $379,000.

“We are cobbling together resources to invest in arts at a level that is finally consistent with what other leading cities in the United States are doing,” Hawthorne says. He adds that a deeper cut—as much as $1 million has been discussed—“would be severe steps back.”

But no one has had the nerve to call for cutting RACC any more—given that the arts council is about to get a flood of new money on top of the city’s current subsidy that could more than make up for any budget reduction.

Commissioner Nick Fish confirms he and Commissioner Steve Novick considered calling for major cuts in RACC’s budget this week but have held off, even as virtually every city bureau faces fiscal pain.

“We didn’t have a good enough rationale,” Fish says.

“That said, the message needs to be that there are no sacred cows. Everybody needs to take a haircut, including the arts.”

Records show RACC’s hold on the city’s finances runs deeper than many City Hall observers expected—and

THE HOUSE THAT RACC BUILT: This metal sculpture, titled Inversion: Plus/Minus, at the east end of the Hawthorne Bridge was installed with $700,000 in city money dedicated to public art on the Portland Streetcar extension.

Adams’ legacy may be a spigot of city money to arts organizations that’s difficult to turn off.

Founded by the city in 1980, RACC is an independent nonprofit that gets almost all of its money from government coffers.

Last year, 70 percent of its $8 million budget came from the city. Its other government supporters—three counties and the Oregon Arts Commission—gave it less than $700,000 combined, and private donors added $1 million.

RACC gives grants to arts organizations, puts artists in elementary schools, and pays a staff of 34 employees— including six communications and outreach specialists.

The city’s 2010 contract with RACC gives the arts council wide leeway in how it provides services to the city—possible tasks include acting as “Advocate for the arts at the local, regional, state and national level.”

RACC also manages the city’s “Percent for Art” program, which reserves 1.33 percent of all funding for capital building projects to buy and install public art.

The arts council has also used tax money to push for even more tax money. RACC gave $200,000 over the past two years to the Creative Advocacy Network, a nonprofit that led the fight for the arts tax, which passed in November with 62 percent of the vote.

The arts tax is supposed to bring in as much as $5.4 million a year more for RACC on top of the $5.6 million the city already gives it.

At the heart of any effort to cut the arts agency is the extraordinary contract the city signed with RACC in 2010 that actually binds the City Council’s hands when it comes to cutting RACC’s budget.

In fact, the contract bars the city from cutting RACC’s budget altogether, except in the case of a financial emergency—and even then strictly limits how far City Hall can go.

Specifically, the contract forbids the City Council from cutting RACC’s budget at a rate greater than it’s cutting other city bureaus.

Adams pitched the arts tax last year as new funding for RACC, and the budget measure promised that RACC’s previous city funding wouldn’t be touched.

RACC also has a powerful political base to protect its funding. “No cuts are popular,” says former City Commissioner Mike Lindberg. “But the arts group has a greater organizational capacity to fill the City Council chambers.”

And city commissioners are nervous that the arts tax may not hold up in court.

Fish issued a warning at a council meeting last month that RACC may not see a penny from the arts tax this year—the city probably won’t distribute any of the proceeds from taxpayers until it settles a legal challenge from Lewis & Clark Law School professor Jack Bogdanski.

“This is a legal fight that a citizen has the right to bring, and the courts are the place we decide this,” Fish says. “But I want to make sure people’s expectations are in line with reality.”

Novick says he’s open to cutting 10 percent of all city funding for RACC, including arts-tax revenues—a reduction closer to $1.1 million.

“You should not assume that anything is sacred because you haven’t seen cuts to it yet,” Novick says.

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Willamette Week APRIL 10, 2013 wweek.com

Greg Van Pelt wants to cut your health-care costs.

As the retiring CEO for Providence Oregon, he’s talked about working to find solutions for ballooning medical expenses and creating community care organizations, key to Gov. John Kitzhaber’s health-care reform plans.

Part of the Oregon Health Leadership Council, he has spearheaded the group’s mission to find ways to reduce costs, even testifying on the issue in front of the state Legislature.

“We all complain about health-care spending, but nobody does anything about it,” Van Pelt, 61, told The Washington Post in January. “Now, that’s changing.”

But Van Pelt’s own swelling paycheck topped $4.2 million, according to Providence’s 2011 tax return, the most recent on record. That’s triple what his predecessor took home two years ago.

WW examined tax returns filed at nonprofit hospitals and health systems operating in Oregon and found that compensation for a handful of executive positions has exploded.

Van Pelt is near the top in hospital-exec pay.

Only his boss, outgoing Providence Health & Services CEO John Koster, has seen his pay rise faster. Records show Koster earned $1.8 million in 2009, but now brings in $6.3 million. Van Pelt and Koster declined to be interviewed for this story.

“It’s shocking,” says Felisa Hagins, political director at Service Employees International Union Local 49, which represents more than 10,000 health-industry workers in Oregon and Southwest Washington. “Some of our members working at these hospitals can’t even pay their own deductibles.”

Oregon was marked as a leader in cutting health-care costs and slowing the growth of Medicaid. The Obama administration has promised Kitzhaber almost $2 billion over the next five years, but the state will see the federal funds only if it can achieve a slower growth rate in healthcare costs than the rest of the nation.

Big pay increases like those for Van Pelt and Koster—first reported by The Lund Report, a health-care news website—show up at hospitals praised for their work in controlling costs.

St. Charles Health System, based in Bend, has been held up by Kitzhaber and others as a leader in pioneering community-based care strategies.

Meanwhile, its CEO, James Diegel, saw his pay go from $481,000 in 2009 to $1.17 million—a 143 percent increase, records show. The CEO of St. Charles Medical Center, Jay Henry, saw a 66 percent increase, to $571,000 a year. Diegel and Henry also declined to be interviewed.

Dennis Dempsey, chairman of the compensation committee for St. Charles, says Diegel’s increase comes largely from one-time incentive and deferred pay.

“He’s paid well, but he’s not overpaid,” says Dempsey. “In fact, I have to commend Mr. Diegel for taking way below the market comparison.”

Other hospital officials say their executives’ pay is in line with the market.

“The numbers can be very misleading,” says Providence spokeswoman Colleen Wadden, who adds that Van Pelt’s and Koster’s increases include retirement benefits. “It’s appropriate to look at what the market average is and stay in mind with that.”

Providence and St. Charles declined to share their compensation studies, as did Corvallisbased Samaritan Health Services, whose CEO and chief financial officer since 2009 saw pay increases of 32 and 40 percent, respectively.

Few spokespeople were willing to comment on the big pay increases received by some hospital administrators. “We really truly try to be just and fair with what we pay our leadership,” says Sister Andrea Nenzel, board chairwoman for PeaceHealth, whose Oregon executives’ pay increased an average of 6 percent since 2009. “I would hope that others are doing the same.”

Others, like Bruce Goldberg, director of the Oregon Health Authority, stress that the focus should be on reducing the cost of health care, not on CEO pay.

“Quite frankly, there are a lot of people making a lot of money in the health-care sector.

[It’s] a problem throughout,” Goldberg says. “To fundamentally reduce costs in our state and in our society, it’s going to be how we deliver care.

That’s really where the money is.”

Willamette Week APRIL 10, 2013 wweek.com

11

SPOKE ADDICTS PORTLAND IS AMERICA’S BEST BIKE CITY. WHY DOES ANYONE HERE DRIVE? Portland is hell on four wheels.

Our roads are clogged with a noxious blend of lightfooted Prius drivers, manic transplants in Volvos and frustrated guys in F-150s who seem convinced their balls will shrivel up and fall off if they don’t gun it between stoplights on the way back to Molalla.

Rather than being on a neat grid, Portland’s thoroughfares seem to be laid along ancient paths first traveled by lash-maddened mules dragging moonshine-swilling loggers. Our city’s bumpy topography did its fathers no favors, yet it’s hard to fathom why we should twist around a cloverleaf to get on the Ross Island Bridge. And why trains are allowed to crawl to a stop with their cabooses dangling across Naito Parkway...during rush hour.

It’s possible to replace this madness with a steady drip of low-grade joy: Ride a bike.

While Portland is a terrible place to drive, it’s a nearly perfect place to cycle. Our meandering, mildly hilly streets seem almost designed for a charming ride; our weather is moderate and our bike culture is the most advanced in the country. Though a flat tire on a rainy Tuesday night in midJanuary will complicate a year-round rider’s relationship with her bike in a way people who ride the Esplanade on a sunny Saturday won’t understand, we’re on them because we (mostly) love them.

12

Willamette Week APRIL 10, 2013 wweek.com

Despite what you may hear yelled from the window of an SUV, a recent study suggests nine out of 10 Portlandarea bike commuters also own a car. They’re not riding for lack of options, they’re enjoying one of the great luxuries of life in Portland. This is one of the few American cities where you can properly enjoy this perfect human-powered machine, and enjoy it you should.

For our annual celebration of bikes, we had a staffer who’d never been on a bike in Portland cycle for a week—he survived. We also tested a battery of cycle-delivery services to find great bike-based pizza delivery and terrible soup delivery. We analyzed bike-theft data to get some surprising facts: Who knew Thursday is bike thieves’ busiest day?

If you’re ready to get a little more serious about cycling, we put together a primer with everything you need to know before your first bikepacking trip. For hardcore bike lovers, we also assembled a calendar of upcoming bike-based art events.

The benefits of biking are not just environmental, economic or health-related. It goes deeper. When you’re in a car, Portland’s knotted streets are obnoxious and other people are but a nuisance. When you’re on a bike, you appreciate the wonders of this place and the quirks of the people with whom you share it.

By bike, Portland is a better city and you’re a better person. The sooner we all realize that, the happier we’ll all be.

BIKES cont. on page 14

I r o n C a n va s s t u d I o s

Willamette Week APRIL 10, 2013 wweek.com

13

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BIKES

SEVEN-DAY CYCLE A NONCYCLIST GIVES UP HIS CAR TO LIVE ONE WEEK BY BIKE.

BY MATT HEW S IN GER

msinger@wweek. c om

In the four years I’ve lived in Portland, I have ridden a Razor scooter more often than I’ve ridden a bike. That is to say, I have never ridden a bike in Portland. Like a good, native Southern Californian, I’ve clung to my car. Here’s the weird thing: I hate cars. I hate being in them. I don’t know how they work, nor do I care to learn.

I treat mine with the level of respect befitting an old, sickly cat, inherited from a particularly spiteful ex-girlfriend, that I just don’t have the heart to put down.

It’s not that I harbor any particular antipathy toward bikes. Like joining a gym or learning woodworking—or trying anything new, really—the reason I’ve never mounted a Schwinn (or whatever) is intimidation. I’m not just nervous about biking in a major city. Portland’s bike culture intimidates me. It’s so deeply ingrained in the fiber of this city that entering as a novice is a frightening prospect. And let’s be honest: Cyclists can be elitist assholes.

When I still had out-of-state plates on my car, guys in full bike-nerd regalia would scream at me to “go back to California!”

Closing in on a half-decade as a Portlander, though, I figured it was finally time to leap into the world of biking. Wait, that’s not true: My editor made me do it. Well, you’ve got to start somewhere.

SUNDAY

I’m in the lobby of Everybody’s Bike Rentals, awaiting my steed. More accurately, I’m in the Northeast Portland kitchen of a guy named Dan, waiting for him to get off the phone so I can get down to the basement where he keeps his rental bikes. I let on that I don’t quite know what I’m doing.

I tell him I haven’t been on a bike in at least six years. It’s like I’ve told him I’ve never seen a rainbow.

Dan leads me into his basement. He grabs a basic-looking commuter bike from a fleet of a few dozen—most of which he’s built from donated frames—and takes me outside, past his goat pen and chicken coop, into the street. Dan wants to see me go down to the end of the block and back, like a concerned father who just took off his kid’s training wheels. I get on my new ride.

As it turns out, riding a bike isn’t quite like riding a bike. I’m like a baby deer learning to walk, insecure and wobbly. In my first minutes as a cyclist, I feel infantilized and self-conscious.

I make it home without fracturing anything.

MONDAY

It’s a beautiful morning. You couldn’t ask for a better day to begin communion with the outside world. I strap on my XXXL helmet—I was indeed born with a head the 14

Willamette Week APRIL 10, 2013 wweek.com

size of a medicine ball—and carry the bike, somewhat awkwardly, down the stairs of the apartment complex I moved into only two days before. I shove off with enthusiasm. I round the corner, heading toward Broadway, futzing a bit with the gears…and the chain falls off.

It’s an easy fix, I know, but I’m worried about making it worse. I get in my car and drive to work with the windows rolled up.

My girlfriend texts me later to say she put the chain back on for me.

TUESDAY

After yesterday’s false start, I’m slightly deflated, but it’s another nice day, so I’m ready to give it another go. I take Broadway, and it’s proving remarkably easy.

“You’ve gotta be a pro to bike in the city,” a pedestrian remarks at a stoplight as large, industrial vehicles pass within inches. I tell him it’s my first time. He seems impressed.

Or scared for me. Hard to tell.

I arrive at work in Northwest Portland about 25 minutes after leaving my apartment on the other side of the river, a bit sweatier than I’m used to but otherwise feeling good. The ardent cyclists in the office offer high-fives, which I find slightly condescending, though it’s better than my editor’s reaction. “That’s the sissiest bike I’ve ever seen!” he cackles.

WEDNESDAY

I take the Eastbank Esplanade to OMSI, where WW staffers are going on a morning ride to the Cartlandia pod on Southeast 82nd Avenue (see page 31). We take the Springwater Corridor, past Ross Island and Oaks Park and a surprising number of weekday riders on recumbent bikes, hand-pedaled bikes and one bizarre conjoined version of the two. I’m taking up the rear, though that’s mostly because I’m talking to our music calendar editor.

Everyone ahead stops, concerned with how I’m holding up, and asks me to act as “the pace car.” I didn’t know we were training for the Tour de France.

On the way home, everything goes to shit. Having logged about 15 miles, and now loaded up on a pan-global stew of Filipino adobo, a steak wrap, Russian pastries and a deep-fried, bacon-wrapped hot dog, I learn what it means to be out of “bike shape.” My ass hurts when it’s on the seat, so I stand to pedal, which burns my quads. I am now legitimately dragging down the rest of the group.

“Hey Matt, want to play a game of who can get back to the office the fastest?” my editor asks. I know what he’s getting at. I tell everyone I’ll meet them back at the office.

I’m quickly ditched, like a lame gazelle left behind to get torn apart by hyenas.

I arrive about 20 minutes after the rest.

Apparently, I was being timed. Considering I stopped back at OMSI and stared at the river for a while, I don’t feel too bad about that result.

I’m asleep by 10 that night.

like a young marcus aurelius: a stoic matthew singer aboard his steed.

THURSDAY

My ass has apparently callused over, because I can actually sit down, and the ride to work is even easier than before. Is this what “bike shape” feels like?

I stay at work until dark. I decide that night riding is too big a gamble for a novice, so I opt for the bus. That brings up other difficulties, as I’ve never loaded a bike onto the front of a bus before. Like fixing the chain, I know it’s easy. But what if it’s not? What if I can’t find the handle? What if the driver has to come out and assist me, and the other passengers are annoyed and rolling their eyes because I’m making them late for dinner or their underground hobo knife-fighting league or something?

Turns out, it’s no more challenging than opening a glove box. No one will miss their knife fight on account of me tonight.

FRIDAY

Another gorgeous day. I really lucked out this week, though I realize getting pelted by hail would make this piece more interesting.

SATURDAY

I ride to Velo Cult in the Hollywood District to meet our photographer, Cameron.

Hardcore cyclists in spandex sip craft beers at picnic tables while the bike shop’s

employees fill tires with air. It feels not unlike walking into a “biker bar”—not that the people are unfriendly, but I can tell the stench of poseur wafts off me.

Cameron and I ride down Broadway, the route I’ve now become intimately familiar with. He aims a camera at me as we cross the bridge. I try to look stoic.

SUNDAY

Time to return my bike. I head north from my apartment, toward Northeast Alberta Street, where a few blocks south sits Everybody’s Bike Rentals. I dismount around 21st Avenue and Ridgewood Drive and walk the bike up the massively steep hill. At the top, I share a glance with a kid on a tricycle. He sees me huffing and puffing, and I can tell he pities me. He probably doesn’t know what “pity” means yet, but he feels it. He doesn’t want to be that grayflecked 30-year-old man struggling just to push a bike up the street. He won’t ever go six years without riding a bike. Heck, he might never go anywhere without a bike.

I pull into Dan’s backyard and lock the bike to a pole, where several other bikes are clustered. I glance back at it longingly a few times. My girlfriend picks me up in my car to go to Easter brunch. I let her drive.

BIKES cont. on page 17

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Willamette Week APRIL 10, 2013 wweek.com

15

BIKE PUMP © J O H N F LU E VO G S H O E S | B I G P R E S E N C E D E S M O N D

JOHN FLUEVOG SHOES S W S TA R K S T · · F LU E VO G C O M

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BIKES

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U-LOCK OR YOU WALK SOME SURPRISING BIKE-THEFT FACTS FROM COPS AND BIKE SHOPS.

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Because trendy new bikes flood bike lanes on weekends, you’d assume weekend thefts would top the charts. That’s not the case.

Thursday is actually the most popular day for bike theft in Portland, according to police. No one knows why.

Saturday and Sunday are the next most active days for criminals. Because no one likes working on Mondays, the first day of the week is the slowest. Most thefts are reported in the afternoon or early evening.

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Old Town’s Biltmore Hotel, a low-income apartment building, in February. But every bike-shop worker we talked to agreed with Citybikes employee Ed Copeland: “The majority of bikes are stolen by homeless people or drug addicts.”

Most bike thieves are less suave criminals of Oceans Eleven than the bumbling crooks of Snatch. “People don’t care as long as it holds air in the tires,” says Leber of Bike Gallery.

These are thefts of opportunity, not of ambition. Rather than patronize a bike shop when their tires go flat, chronic thieves do their shopping on the street.

“Most of the time they get a flat, don’t have the money to fix it, so they just steal a wheel off someone else’s bike,” Leber says.

WHAT

Treks are the Honda Civic of cycles, the most purchased and most pinched. Twice as many Trek bikes are stolen as any other brand. Portland police’s most recent

SE Woodstock Blvd

St bike-crime analysisSE Flavel shows more Treks stolen than Bianchis, Raleighs, Giants and Schwinns—combined.

Most stolen bikes are also cheap. While only a dozen bikes worth more than $3,000 were stolen in the city in 2011, 300 worth less than $500 were taken.

Trends in bike theft also mirror bikebuying. “A few years ago, the Bianchi Pista fixed-gear was the thing,” Karre says. Pistas populated the streets and Craigslist. Then everyone got over the fixie trend—even the thieves.

And ’90s-vintage mountain bikes account for a large chunk of stolen rides—not because thick-wheeled stump-jumpers are in style, but because they’re collecting dust in garages.

While most people think bikes are stolen off the streets, house and garage breakins now account for most thefts reported to the staff at River City Bicycles. “It sure makes me double-check my locks at night,” Karre says.

BIKES cont. on page 18

Willamette Week APRIL 10, 2013 wweek.com

17

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WHERE

Just as Portland’s idyllic streets attract Rd ornell NW Cin the city attract cyclists, some spots thieves. The Central Library, Portland State University, Portland Northwest College of Art and Pearl District 24 Hour Fitness bike racks are notorious theft hot spots.

All are busy areas with lots of bikes. But, moreover: They offer thieves some predictably. The same bikes show up on the same schedule, always left for consistent amounts of time. “It’s easy to stalk bikes at places like 24 Hour [Fitness],” says Matt Karre at River City Bicycles. A religious workout schedule may leave gym rats taking an unexpected jog home.

More than a quarter of all bike thefts in the city in 2011 happened in a few spots downtown, according to the Portland Police Bureau. Four of the top five neighborhoods with the most theft were on the west side—Southeast’s Richmond being the only exception.

NE Killingsworth St

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BIKE THEFTS BY DAY

5

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Brian Leber watched an imposing figure roll into Bike Gallery with a road bike that had been sprayed black with truck bedliner paint.

“I knew right away it was our bike,” he says.

A $2,000 demo bike had been stolen out of Bike Gallery’s van a few months before.

Now, the thief wanted to cash it in. Leber tried to lock the bike to a mechanic’s lift.

The massive thief wrestled it away, threatened Leber with Mace and made for the door. “There is clearly a sign that says, ‘No bikes through this door’ on our revolving door,” he says, laughing. Leber trapped the thief and bike between revolving-door sections until the man muscled his way out, minus the bike, and disappeared.

“Bike theft is like a disease here,” says

Leber, formerly a Chicago bike courier.

“Out of everything I’ve seen as a bike courier, Portland is the worst.”

Portland may be suffering without even knowing its symptoms.

Yes, you need a U-lock. But avoiding bike theft goes beyond having the right lock.

NW 23rd Av

e s pi t z@w week. c om

NE Martin L. King Jr Blvd

Rosa Parks Way

BY E NID S PIT Z

CAMERONBROWNE.COM

BIKES

PEDALING THEIR WARES WHICH PORTLAND BIKE DELIVERY SERVICES ARE WORTH THE PRICE?

Columbia House record club.

Is it worth it? Deli tubs of cold, bland soup that cost $8 per person and keep coming at you harder than T2, but only on Soupcycle’s schedule? Oh, hells to the no. On the plus side, the delivery rider was the happiest-seeming human being we’ve seen in years.

BY MATT HEW KORFHAGE mko r f h a g e @wwe e k.com

Setting aside the obvious ecological benefits of bicycles over idling cars, bike couriers have always been an efficient choice in dense city environments because they don’t have to worry about street parking.

Companies as diverse as Pearl Bakery and Office Depot have already figured this out and use Portland bike cargo company B-Line for door-to-door business deliveries. But precious few companies deliver by bike to private individuals, and some of the ones that do aren’t economically feasible.

Clever Cycles, for example, will deliver a Dutch hot tub by bicycle for $400. That buys you three days’ rental at a cost only slightly higher than renting a mountain cabin with a hot tub for the weekend.

Clever’s offer wasn’t in our budget—we all showed up to work in swimsuits for nothing—but we did try a few others.

SOUPCYCLE soupcycle.com

What do they deliver by bike? The meal for two costs $16 for 28 ounces of soup, some spinach salad and two pieces of bread. (Utensils not included—be prepared, Girl Scouts!)

Where do they deliver? Much of Portland—out to 52nd Avenue on the east side and 23rd Avenue on the west side. But delivery hits each sector only once a week.

How easy is it? Oh, sheesh. You order a week in advance, can receive soup only on one specific day, and delivery happens at an unspecified time between 9 am and 6 pm. Plus, it’s a subscription service, so random-flavored cold tubs of soup keep coming every week. And whether through bad Web design or intentional obfuscation, it’s very difficult to permanently cancel your “soupscription.” The whole experience is like getting your cable repaired by

OLD TOWN PIZZA 226 NW Davis St., 222-9999; 5201 SE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., 200-5988; oldtownpizza.com.

What do they deliver by bike? Pizza and sandwiches and, oh yeah…beer! Growlers of Old Town’s own beer arrive for $15 (plus the $2.50 delivery charge), but if you swap them an empty Old Town growler, they’ll knock $5 off that. Greasy, cheesy, bready pizzas are about $20 for a modest-sized large. The website also shows a keg being ridden around on a bicycle basket, but that doesn’t happen, sadly.

Where do they deliver? All of downtown and the Pearl District, and a 15-block radius surrounding the MLK location.

How easy is it? Perhaps you’ve ordered pizza for delivery before. It’s a lot like that.

In fact, Old Town Pizza arrived at our offices faster by bike than nearby Lonesome’s Pizza usually does by car.

Is it worth it? A clink of frosty beer mugs to Old Town.

PORTLAND PEDAL POWER

764-1415, portlandpedalpower.com.

What do they deliver by bike? Almost anything, from scads of partner businesses.

If you’re downtown, you can get lunch brought for a $5 surcharge, but we decided instead to deliver a flower arrangement to retiring, cranky news-blogger Jack Bogdanski (bojack.org), in honor of our bicycle issue (delivery fee $12.50 on a $25 bouquet from Botanica Floral Design). Why? Because Bojack loves bikes so, so much.

(He confirmed receipt by email.)

Where do they deliver? All through the Portland interior, though the delivery radius depends on whose stuff you’re getting delivered.

How easy is it? You get on the website and

PIE BY PEDAL: Old Town Pizza’s delivery rider in action.

order—most deliveries arrive within about two hours, as long as you order before 1 pm or so.

Is it worth it? Sometimes. Certainly for large-office lunch deliveries downtown; the delivery charge becomes negligible in bulk.

Plus, PPP’s roster includes the best-quality delivered sushi (and udon) in Portland, from tiny Mizu Sushi.

COURIER COFFEE

923 SW Oak St., 545-6444, couriercoffeeroasters.com.

What do they deliver by bike? Lightroasted coffee beans by the bag. Ours were Ethiopian, pleasantly sweet and $14.

Where do they deliver? To all city quadrants depending on the day, but they make trips to downtown businesses daily, mostly in the morning.

How easy is it? Next-business-day delivery is standard for downtown and offices, or the coffee will come on that quadrant’s designated day. Unless you’ve made payment arrangements for long-term delivery schedules, you’ll have to be around to pay cash on delivery.

Is it worth it? Let’s say you want to order Stumptown Coffee, and have it delivered by the U.S. Postal Service. Your pound of Hairbender is $14, plus shipping. Your pound of Courier Ethiopian is $14, plus a tip for the bike delivery guy. Take your

pick, but one of these two is less wasteful than the other.

TACO THE TOWN (ON HOLD!) 593-8846, tacothetownpdx.com.

What do (did) they deliver by bike? Tacos and sides, with just about every item the same price. Carnitas or vegan taco? $2.

Off-menu guacamole? $2. Salsas? $2. It’s like socialism! No added delivery fee, however—just like socialism!

Where do (did) they deliver? Within about three miles of Northeast 26th Avenue and Sandy Boulevard.

How easy is (was) it? Our tacos arrived in a little over 30 minutes, and we paid a friendly, pony-tailed fellow using one of those handy cellphone Square devices.

Is (was) it worth it? This was our favorite delivery food in Portland, with low prices, ridiculously fresh everything, handmade tortillas, inventive vegetarian taco fillings and off-menu items galore. But here’s the thing: Delivery is on brief hiatus while TTT moves into the food-cart pod on Southeast 28th Avenue and Ankeny Street, near Wolf and Bear’s. The owners plan to expand their bike delivery service to include other carts in the pod once they’re moved in.

BIKES cont. on page 21

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Willamette Week APRIL 10, 2013 wweek.com

C o u r t e s y o f r o C h e l l e C o m e a u x a n d d o n e ato n

BIKES

Portland Wheelmen Touring Club TAKE LIFE BY THE HANDLEBARS!

Beginner & Skilled Rider Options Urban and Rural Rides rides 7 days a week

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multi distance recreational ride • fully supported • great food

02H.PWTC.149.3923 1

3/28/13 12:34:52 PM

many rivers to cross: rochelle comeaux in montana’s Bitterroot valley.

YOUR FIRST OVERNIGHTER EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW BEFORE YOUR FIRST BIKEPACKING TRIP.

BY R E BEC C A JAC OB S ON

rjac obson@wweek. c om

Rochelle Comeaux and Don Eaton remember their first overnighter as cyclists. It was the first day of their 70-day cross-country trip along the TransAmerica Trail, which winds 4,233 miles from Astoria to Yorktown, Va. We do not recommend you follow Comeaux and Eaton’s lead. Eventually, maybe. But there are easier ways to take your first bike tour—you don’t need to buy any padded Lycra. Ellee Thalheimer, 34, has logged thousands of miles on two wheels (her book Cycling Sojourner is a great resource for short trips around Oregon), and she’s nearly evangelistic about the accessibility of bike touring. “Lots of people have this conception that you need a $3,000 touring bike,” she says. “The fact is, the majority of people can use the bike in their garage.”

And in Portland, heading off on a quick overnighter could hardly be easier. You can saddle up downtown, or you can take TriMet over the mountains west of town or past the grind of Gresham, which eliminates unpleasant stretches of busy city roads. “Incorporating public transit makes it easier to get through the not-as-savory areas,” says Shawn Granton of Cycle Wild, a nonprofit that leads bike camping trips.

Here’s what else you need to know.

WHAT TO RIDE

“I really believe that if you can ride a bike, you can go on a tour,” says Thalheimer, the author.

Eaton, a trained bike mechanic, notes that bikes with a wide range of gears and smooth, roadfriendly tires will do best over longer distances.

Forget your need for speed: What’s most important is riding a bike on which you feel comfortable, whether it’s a featherweight road bike, an upright commuter or a hand-me-down hybrid.

On their trip, Comeaux, 27, and Eaton, 29, encountered cross-country cyclists on tandems and velocipedes. A unicyclist completed the

TransAmerica Trail in 2010. Make sure you have powerful lights—LEDs are reliable, durable and energy-efficient. At a minimum, get a front safety light for your handlebars and a rear flashing red light. A good set costs about $50. Fenders will keep you clean in nasty weather, preventing that nasty skunk stripe down your back. Looking 02H.PWTC.149.3923/XX.XX.XX/kmb to upgrade a single component? Consider a highquality saddle, which will run $50 to $70—there are cushy gel saddles, sleek leather ones, women’s-specific designs and even ones padded with soft sheepskin. Your buns will thank you at the end of a 40-mile day.

X

B. Schonman

WHAT TO BRING

Have you ever taken a long ride with a messenger bag slung across your body? It’s lousy. Get that gear off your body and onto your bike. A rear rack is essential, because it will allow you to attach panniers—or milk crates or buckets— to your bike. Ortlieb’s waterproof panniers are tops, but a pair will cost you about $150. Citybikes sells buckets for $28—Comeaux decries them as “hipster” but acknowledges their multifunctionality—and milk crates are even cheaper.

What goes into that luggage depends on your destination.

If you’re camping, you’ll need some sort of tent, a sleeping bag and kitchen gear. Sleep inside, and you’ll have a lighter, more comfortable load. You’ll need food and water, of course, and basic hygiene items, sunscreen and bug repellent. Basic bike tools, plus a patch kit, spare tube and hand pump, are also important. These might seem unnecessary in the velotopia of Portland, where you’re never more than a few blocks from a bike shop, but don’t expect to find a mechanic around the corner once you’ve hit the country. And learn how to use those tools!

You could follow the lead of a certain WW editor (not this one) and shamefacedly pedal your bike to the shop each time you get a flat, or you could attend one of the many free workshops offered around town: Check out REI, the Bike Gallery and River City Bicycles.

OVERNIGHTER cont. on page 22 Willamette Week APRIL 10, 2013 wweek.com

21

Bluegrass, BourBon, Bikes: The couple’s campsite in Western kentucky.

WHAT TO WEAR

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As with the bike, anything goes, but a few key items will increase your comfort. You might think those city commuters look silly in their padded shorts, but after a few dozen miles in the saddle, you’ll understand. That chamois pad reduces friction and provides a bit of cushion over bumps. Find a basic pair for $30, or for much less on sale. Avoid cotton. Pack rain gear—the waterproof stuff, not rubberized and none of that water-resistant rubbish. Go for highlighterbright clothing—Eaton received a neon-yellow vest from a Colorado driver who nearly hit him, which he wore most days of the trip.

WHEN TO GO

You know Oregon weather: Summer has warm and long days; winter has wet and short ones. Trails and parks are crowded in the summer, especially on weekends and holidays, and much less so in the off-season. September, Thalheimer says, is the best: Temperatures are comfortable and people have returned to work and school. Those with flexible schedules, she adds, should take advantage of chance sunny days during the winter.

WHERE TO STAY

Campsites are cheap and plentiful, but if budget is less of a concern, don’t rule out other options. Comeaux and Eaton spent several nights in hotels during their trip, which they often recommend for first-time bike tourists. Cabins and yurts are also good options. Comeaux and Eaton advise against stealth camping, but sometimes it turns out fine: They accidentally camped in a couple’s front yard in Virginia, and were invited inside for coffee the next morning.

WHERE TO GO

The Banks-Vernonia State Trail—21 miles of former railroad—is smoothly paved and gorgeous, with several trestle bridges and views of the Coast Range foothills. Either drive to Banks, or take the MAX to Hillsboro and follow rural back roads for 12 miles to the trailhead. Halfway through the route is Stub Stewart State Park, which offers tent sites ($6-$10) and cabins ($43), or you can push on to a quaint B&B in Vernonia.

South of Hillsboro is wine country, which offers prime opportunities for a midride tipple. Take the No. 12 bus to Sherwood and then pedal to Newberg (mileage will vary, but Thalheimer’s book recommends a 23.4-mile route from Sherwood to Newberg).

There, you can sip sustainable wine, stay at a spa or pedal farther southeast for cheap tent camping ($5), a yurt ($36) or cabin ($39) at Champoeg State Park, where there are restrooms and showers.

To the east, the Columbia River Gorge beckons. Take the MAX to the Gresham Transit Center, where you’ll soon connect with the Historic Columbia River Highway. Then there’s some hilly pedaling, but Cycle Wild’s Granton says it’s the most scenic ride close to Portland, with sweet views of waterfalls (Multnomah, Bridal Veil, Wahkeena, Latourell, Horsetail). After 22 miles, you’ll hit Ainsworth State Park, which has tent sites ($13-$17), restrooms and showers. Feeling strong? Roll another 30 miles to Hood River, where amenities abound.

RESOURCES

Visit cyclewild.org for routes, gear lists and trip reports. The Adventure Cycling Association’s website has detailed maps of cycling routes across the country. In addition to her book Cycling Sojourner, Thalheimer’s website (cycletouringoregon. com) offers a free chapter on biking around Vernonia.

BIKES cont. on page 25 22

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C o u r t e s y o f r o C h e l l e C o m e a u x a n d d o n e ato n

BIKES

Sunday april 14 2013

A community that stands together, races together.

The half marathon, 10K and 5K races where 100% of net proceeds go to Albertina Kerr’s programs and services for children, adults and families with developmental disabilities and mental health challenges.

Champagne toast to celebrate our 15th year!

Register at Race4theRoses.org | AlbertinaKerr.org

Willamette Week APRIL 10, 2013 wweek.com

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Classical guitar lovers are in for a real treat. Four guitars and the entire Oregon Symphony play one of Rodrigo’s greatest masterworks!

LA GuitAr QuArtet April 13 | Sat 7:30 pm April 14 | Sun 2 pm April 15 | Mon 8 pm Carlos Kalmar, conductor

• LA Guitar Quartet

Stravinsky: Circus Polka; Composed for a Young Elephant Stravinsky: Petroushka • Rodrigo: Andalusian Concerto Piston: The Incredible Flutist Suite

Tickets start at just $21 Groups of 10 or more save: 503-416-6380

Call: 503-228-1353 Click: OrSymphony.org Come in: 923 SW Washington | 10 am – 6 pm Mon – Fri

ARLENE

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Willamette Week APRIL 10, 2013 wweek.com

SCHNITZER

CONCERT

HALL

EMBACHER-COLLECTION / PHOTO: BERNHARd ANgERER

BIKES

FRAMES WITHIN FRAMES A FULL YEAR OF BIKE-BASED ART.

BY R E BEC C A JAC OBS ON r j a c o b s on @wwe e k.com

Portland cyclists are not content to limit their demonstrations of affection to soggy winter commuting, bombing downhill from the zoo and quaffing too much beer at Apex. Portlanders who worship at the altar of the holy two-wheeler take their love to new heights. This is a city that abounds with art and performance dedicated to that humble machine, and we’re not talking about yarn-bombed bike racks, twee greeting cards with letterpress images of vintage velocipedes or even tricked-out fixies. Portlanders write plays and fiction and poetry about bikes, they make movies about bikes, they dance with their bikes, they sing and play kazoos and pump jams while riding their bikes.

Much of that, unsurprisingly, happens in the spring and summer months. Here’s a guide to the best of it.

OPEN BIKE NIGHT

TAKING THE LANE

Due out later this month

For the 10th volume of her bicycling zine, writer and activist Elly Blue is diving into fiction for the first time. Or rather, blasting off: The issue, due out later this month, is an anthology of feminist, bike-centered science fiction. Many stories are set in grim, postapocalyptic dystopias, but readers will also meet a Pooh-like robot, an octopoid triathlete and plenty of spunky bike-riding go-getters.

FILMED BY BIKE

April 20-21 & 23 at the Clinton Street Theater

Filmed by Bike presents three days of short films centered on bikes. The festival turns 11 this year, with 40 films from around the world. Films include a Santa-themed ride in Wisconsin, a rickshaw trek through Edinburgh, cyclists braving Hurricane Sandy, bike races on ice and tips on how not to get doored.

inconnu by an anonymous designer at cyclepedia

PEDALPALOOZA June 6-29

This monthlong celebration of all things two-wheeled always features plenty of J O N AT H A N M A u s / B I k E P O R T L A N d

7-10 pm every third Wednesday at Velo Cult

Nothing says bike love like spoken-word odes to derailleurs and chainstays, songs about MILFs who ride cargo bikes, and readings of 19th-century poems about bicycles. Since debuting in mid-January, this monthly event has also featured blindfolded violinists and legendary bike mom Emily Finch with a presentation on the rhythm method of birth control.

FIRST FRIDAY AT BIKEASAURUS 7-10 pm every first Friday at Bikeasaurus

www.wagportland.com

Bikeasaurus stocks lots of adorable products for purchase (coffee cozies stitched with bikes, dinosaur-shaped reflectors, onesies), but each month the shop also houses an exhibit by a different local artist, with a First Friday reception. Recent exhibitions have featured hand-pulled linocuts, vaguely expressionistic oil paintings and playful line drawings.

rides with artsy themes. In last year’s festival, cyclists played kazoos, filmed documentaries, read poetry, performed Sacred Harp singing, toured murals and sported an endless parade of wacky costumes (powdered wigs, onesies, dinosaur getups, bloomers and tweed)—all while pedaling.

The month ends with the Multnomah County Bike Fair, which in the past has included performances by the Sprockettes, an all-female bike dance troupe, and the Tall Tour Crew, a band that rides tall bikes.

BIKE PLAY June 20-23

For the fifth year, the Working Theatre Collective is cooking up a two-wheeled theatrical endeavor. Riders pedal behind performers, being met at each location with a scene in an unfolding drama. Last year’s performance, Invasion of the Bicycle Snatchers, paid delicious homage to ’50s sci-fi, and previous installments have riffed on cowboy Westerns and classic noir. Riders this year can expect a mythical jaunt filled with bike gods, monsters and masks.

It’s one of the year’s best bike events.

CYCLEPEDIA

June 8-Sept. 8 at the Portland Art Museum

working theatre collective’s invasion of the Bicycle snatchers

For those who like high-tech or bizarre design, this exhibit spotlights 40 bicycles, each selected by Austrian designer and velophile Michael Embacher. The exhibit

BIKE SMUT 7: THE PORNY EXPRESS June 12 at Clinton Street Theater

Lycra, chamois cream, chain lube, and memory-foam saddles—cyclists already know how sexy their sport is. Doubters should pedal to this festival of DIY bike porn, which pushes the boundaries of cycling’s erotic potential. If you thought bikes couldn’t be used as sex toys, think again. This year’s Wild West-themed program will be hotter than a whorehouse on nickel night.

ARTCRANK

Oct. 3-4 at the Cleaners at the Ace Hotel

A few steps up from greeting cards, this annual event features handmade bike posters designed by several dozen local artists. There is also, unsurprisingly, a very beery party.

BIKECRAFT

Early December

It’s more consumer-focused than most things on this list, but this annual gift fair always features some seriously impressive goods, including lamps made from recycled bike parts, gorgeous wooden fenders, leather cup-holders for your handlebars and jewelry made from old tubes and chains.

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FOOD: Bike, don’t drive, to Cartlandia.

MUSIC: Johnny Marr’s Portland.

BOOKS: Jane Austen in the age of Grumpy Cat. MOVIES: A confusing whoosh: Trance reviewed.

31 33 49 51

SCOOP NO TRIBUTE TO MARGARET THATCHER HERE, FOLKS.

J OyOS I T y / CC

grimm departure: A funny moment occurred at Funhouse Lounge on April 6, when writer-director Steve Coker ducked out halfway through his own play, a performance of Varsity Cheerleader Werewolves From Outer Space, to act in the season finale of Grimm. Coker, a filmmaker dabbling in theater, had brought in a stage tech to cover for him. Coker didn’t offer many details about the Grimm finale, but said his scene involved David Giuntoli and Russell Hornsby, and was a part of a non-supernatural police investigation. So there will be no cheerleader werewolves. new spiel: Four months after Acme Donuts closed at 2929 SE Powell Blvd., the space has a new tenant planning to make round, bready breakfast foods. Spielman Coffee Roasters already has signage up for a commissary-style kitchen to make bagels in wholesale quantities, greatly expanding the reach of its now-tiny shop. “We’ve already got the equipment and everything,” an employee told a Scooper who stopped in April 8. This is very good news for beleaguered bagel lovers still reeling from the closure of Kettleman. Last year, Spielman split the title of Portland’s best bagel with Kenny & Zuke’s in a WW blind taste-off of the town’s top bagels (See “Schmear Apparent,” Feb. 22, 2012). Disclosure: Michael C. Zusman, now a WW freelancer, helped develop the K&Z recipe, but had nothing to do with our taste-off. Further disclosure: Next week’s WW will have a bagel follow-up, with other would-be Kettleman successors put to the test.

waterfront rising: The Waterfront Blues Festival—the biggest of its kind on the West Coast—has welcomed its share of legends in the past. This year, though, organizers have outdone themselves, booking Robert Plant to close out the four-day event on Sunday, July 7. The Led Zeppelin belter will perform with his new band, Sensational Space Shifters, on a bill that also includes Mavis Staples, Taj Mahal, and Robert plant Randolph and the Family Band. It’s such a huge lineup, the festival will for the first time require tickets for Sunday’s show. Tickets range from $50 to $1,250 for a “Blues Patron Pass.” (Entry to concerts on all other days remains a suggested $10 donation and two cans of food benefiting the Oregon Food Bank.)

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Willamette Week APRIL 10, 2013 wweek.com

P_A_H / CC

haunted pasta house: Let the curse be unbroken!

(Perhaps.) The aesthetically challenged, failure-riddled brick building at 3500 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd.—which has already brought down or rebuffed Belly, Terroir, Tanuki and Carpaccio Trattoria restaurants—will be going family style for another round. In a far cry from high-rolling approaches previously attempted at the location, the website for new tenant Pasta Allegro advertises a casual, low-cost concept tagged as “Italian, created by you!” Diners will choose their own pastas or pizza bases, then pick the sauces, meats, cheeses and vegetables.

HEADOUT R yA N B U B N I S

WILLAMETTE WEEK

What to do this Week in arts & culture

WEDNESDAY APRIL 10 circa [DANCE] Not quite the Ringling Brothers and not quite Cirque du Soleil, Australian company Circa combines contemporary dance with circus acrobatics. Seven tightbodied performers balance on one another, sail through the air and tumble across stage. There’s a fanciful hula-hoop routine and a contortionist who appears to dislocate his rib cage, but Circa is more highbrow than a big-top show. Newmark Theatre, 1111 SW Broadway, 2451600. 7:30 pm. $22-$64. ghostface killah with adrian younge’s venice dawn [MUSIC] It’s a match that should make any hip-hop head salivate: Wu-Tang Clan’s preeminent lyricist, backed by the psych-soul wunderkind behind the Black Dynamite soundtrack. Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., 288-3895.

Midnight. $30. 21+.

THURSDAY APRIL 11 gastronomical trivia [TRIvIA] Finally your innate ability to identify 1980s candy flavors gets some recognition. Test your taste buds with Pix’s edible trivia night.

Categories include beer, retro candy, charcuterie and cold-cereal milk.

Pre-registration of one-to-four-person teams required, 971-271-7166.

Pix Patisserie, 3402 SE Division St., 232-4407. 7-9 pm. $6. 21+.

FRIDAY APRIL 12

A BLAZE OF SPOILAGE A LAKERS FAN ON THE BIGGEST BLAZERS GAME SINCE ’77

Hey, Blazers fans: Stop trying to hold back your excitement. You and I both know the game on April 10 is the biggest for your franchise since June 5, 1977, the day Bill Walton brought the NBA Championship trophy home to the Rose City and turned it into a gravity bong.

Go ahead and act coy, as if you have no idea why a late-season matchup against the Los Angeles Lakers, with your team eliminated from playoff contention, would hold any significance. First of all, it’s always a big deal for you guys whenever the Lakers come to town. I’ve seen how you react when the Blazers beat L.A. in, like, midNovember. It’s like Christmas morning and you all simultaneously unwrapped the same shiny new bike—or, since this is Portland, a

recumbent unicycle or some shit. The difference with this game is that a victory will actually mean something. You’re playing a Lakers team battling for the eighth and last spot in the Western Conference playoffs. A loss at the Rose Garden could force them to miss the postseason for only the sixth time in 65 years. And for you, the Blazers faithful, that’ll mean more than any championship— maybe even more than finally making it out of the first round.

Sure, dismiss this as the sour grapes of a Lakers fan who has fallen on hard times, but you know it’s true. You’re not the only NBA fan base fixated with my team— plenty of other bottom-feeders would love to be in a position to take out the Great Purple-and- Gold Satan—but Portland

is afflicted with a particularly aggressive streak of small-market martyrdom. You suffer from the sports equivalent of a Napoleon complex, blaming the league’s big-city bias for your team’s woes rather than poor draft-day decisions, a chaotic front office and unfortunate injury juju.

You’ve even manufactured a “rivalry” with L.A. I grew up in Southern California; people down there still think there’s nothing but charred timber forests between San Francisco and Seattle, much less a pro basketball team. The Blazers are a David that exists to define itself against Goliath.

Derailing a Lakers postseason isn’t your consolation prize for missing the playoffs.

For you, it is the prize.

It’ll probably happen, too. I have little confidence in this Lakers team to step up with its back against the wall, particularly at the Rose Garden, which—as I’m sure you’re all very, very aware—is a house of horrors for L.A. So enjoy your recumbent unicycle, Portland. Ride it until the wheel falls off…as it always does.

MATTHEW SINGER. go: The Blazers play the Lakers at the Rose Garden Arena, 1 N Center Court, on Wednesday, April 10. 7 pm. $49-$285.

clybourne park [THEATER] Portland audiences got a taste of Bruce Norris’ particular brand of prickliness with Third Rail’s The Pain and the Itch last year, and now Portland Center Stage presents his 2011 Pulitzer-winning drama. The play, set in the same neighborhood as Lorraine Hansberry’s A Raisin in the Sun, jabs at issues of racism and gentrification. Gerding Theater, 128 NW 11th Ave., 445-3700. 7:30 pm. $39-$65.

SATURDAY APRIL 13 whiskey 101 [BoozE] Learn the nuances of whiskey versus whisky at this sipping lecture. It covers Scotch and Irish varieties, bourbon, rye and Portland distilleries. Strong drink and light food included. With a guide named Andrew Finkelman, you can’t go wrong. The Old Gold, 2105 N Killingsworth St., 894-8937.

1 pm. $30. 21+.

TUESDAY APRIL 16 a tribe called red [MUSIC] The three ottawa-based producers, who all hail from Canadian First Nations, mash up the drumming and whooping sounds of a traditional powwow with the drumming and whooping sounds of a modern club to create a strikingly original hybrid style they call “powwow step.” Holocene, 101 SE Morrison St., 239-7639. 8 pm. $10 advance, $12 day of show. 21+.

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FOOD & DRINK

Follow us @ShandongPDX on twitter Post your pics with a chance to see them in this ad!

= WW Pick. Highly recommended.

By ENID SPITZ. PRICES: $: Most entrees under $10. $$: $10-$20. $$$: $20-$30. $$$$: Above $30. Editor: MARTIN CIZMAR. Email: dish@wweek.com.

See page 3 for submission instructions.

THURSDAY, APRIL 11 Gastronomical Trivia

#L,# ! ! !%( % ,(# Z #, , '# ' Now pouring our own beer and selling burgers at all 3 locations. Pizza, full-bar, brewery and heated patio at our Fremont location.

Finally your innate ability to identify 1980s candy flavors gets some recognition. Test your taste buds with Pix’s edible trivia night. Categories include beer, retro candy, charcuterie and cold-cereal milk. Preregistration of one-to-four-person teams required, 971-271-7166. Pix Patisserie, 3402 SE Division St., 2324407. 7-9 pm. $6. 21+.

FRIDAY, APRIL 12 Mencia Wine Tasting

A wine-tasting exploration of the Mencia varietal grapes that govern northwestern Spain. Learn about the steep vineyard slopes and berry-tinted wines with a flight from Cork. Cork, 2901 NE Alberta St., 503-281-2675. 4-7 pm. $12. 21+.

SATURDAY, APRIL 13

Portland’s Best Wings!

1708 E. Burnside 503.230.WING (9464)

Restaurant & Brewery NE 57th at Fremont 503-894-8973

4225 N. Interstate Ave. 503.280.WING (9464)

Aztec Willies’ 20th Anniversary

Patrons get a free Mexican meal (one per person) and a chance to burn it off with DJ Pete’s dance party at 9:30 pm. There will be 12 beers on draft, Sangria and plenty of margaritas to get the celebration going. Aztec Willies, 1501 NE Broadway, 280-8900. 11 am-2 am.

Vegan Mediterranean Class

Aegean cuisine meets alternative Portland at Betty Rawker’s vegan Mediterranean cooking class.

Concoct a gluten-free twist on classic dolmas along with Brazil nut Parmesan and an ice-box carrot cake. Then you get to eat it.

Reservations required, bettyrawker. storenvy.com. KitchenCru, 337 NW Broadway, 226-1900. 5-7 pm. $40.

Malts and Milkshakes

Test out malty concoctions with Autumn Martin, founder of Seattle’s Hot Cakes molten chocolate cakery.

She’ll whip up milkshakes from strawberry to bacon oatmeal raisin cookie and sign her new book,

Malts and Milkshakes: 60 Recipes for Frosty, Creamy Frozen Treats.

Salt & Straw Northwest, 838 NW 23rd Ave., 971-271-8168. 12 pm.

Whiskey 101

Learn the nuances of whiskey versus whisky at this sipping lecture. It covers Scotch and Irish varieties, bourbon, rye and Portland distilleries. Strong drink and light food included. With a guide named Andrew Finkelman, you can’t go wrong. The Old Gold, 2105 N Killingsworth St., 894-8937. 1 pm. $30. 21+.

Dinner

Vanberg & DeWulf Beer

Wildwood’s beer steward matches prestigious Belgian brews from Vanberg & DeWulf importers with local farm fare. Stout-braised pastrami, short ribs and grilled asparagus are paired with unique bottles like Scaldis Prestige de Nuits and Ölvisholt Lava. Wildwood, 1221 NW 21st Ave., 248-9663. 5:30 pm. $65.

21+.

TUESDAY, APRIL 16 Japanese Farm Food Dinner

Five courses of Japanese farm fare from Nancy Singleton Hachisu’s cookbook-memoir cooked up by Navarre chef John Taboada. Dine with the author behind fried redpepper celery and miso mackerel. Optional wine pairing for $30.

Limited seating; for reservations email events.luce@gmail.com. Luce, 2140 E Burnside St., 236-7195.

7 pm. $45.

Supper Series

Italian vino is paired with modern fare at Southeast Wine Collective’s first April Supper Series. Fortyyear-old Italian eatery Genoa/ Accanto brings contemporary bites to complement vintages from collective members Helioterra, Bow & Arrow, Vincent, and Division Wine Co. Reservations required. SE Wine Collective, 2425 SE 35th Place, 208-2061. 6-9 pm. $85. 21+.

DRANK

BEARD BEER (ROGUE ALES) Rogue Ales has been mashing the vinocentric concept of terroir into beer more aggressively than anyone else in Oregon.

Some of the Newport-based brewery’s initiatives have been mostly about marketing: for example, Rogue’s “special” hops, including “Independent” and “Revolution,” are just renamed versions of familiar varietals grown on a partner farm. Rogue’s just-released Beard Beer is more ambitious. After a failed attempt to isolate a beer-friendly wild-yeast strain at its partner farms, Rogue sent a few follicles of brewmaster John “More Hops” Maier’s decades-old beard to San Diego’s White Labs. From those follicles come the spores used to make this beer. It’s not nearly as weird as it sounds. There are more than 1,600 species of yeast in the wild, a handful of which can ferment sugar into alcohol and fewer still that can do so without leaving unpleasing flavors. The best brewing yeasts are found on animals and sweet things, like rotting fruit. Because yeast naturally hybridizes, and because Maier spends a lot of time around Rogue’s house strain, called “Pacman,” it’s quite possible this new yeast got its brewer-friendly traits from the domesticated variety from Maier’s workday, with a few wild genes bred in during a walk around town. The beer itself is quite normal: a sweet, bread-y American wild ale without much to distinguish it beyond a notable pineapple flavor. MARTIN CIZMAR. 30

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FOOD & DRINK RONITPHOTO.COM

REVIEW

Karaoke 9pm nightly Hydro Pong Saturday night

I get HAPPY 4-6pm Tues-Fri $3 menu

Tuesdstaryy: Fun Indu Night!

Dragon Lounge

Chinese-American Restaurant

2610 SE 82nd at Division 503-774-1135 Ho Ti

Read our story: canton-grill.com

The Trap... the place to be caught!

EAT BY FORK: A rider stops at Cartlandia.

BIKING FOR BORSCHT A RIDE OUT TO 82ND AVENUE’S DYNAMIC CARTLANDIA POD.

BY M A RT I N C I Z M A R

Serving Breakfast - Lunch • Family dining Full service bar • Home cooked meals All Lottery games • Karaoke Fri & Sat Nights

COUPON SP

ECIAL

TRAP BURGER

$6.00 REG $8.00

exp 4/ Limit one per 30/13 person

stewed meats and rice. The pork adobo is cooked in a garlic-soy sauce to almost dry. The adobo’s color was far duller than the bright orange chicken afritada ($7), but the flavor was not.

mcizmar@wweek.com

You can drive to Cartlandia, but you probably shouldn’t. Not just because this “bike-centric food-cart superpod” on Southeast 82nd Avenue is 3 gallons from much of Portland, but because the best food cooked at this lot near the restive Clackistani border should only be consumed after a lengthy trip on the neighboring Springwater Corridor bike trail, which goes right by the pod on its 22-mile route from the Eastbank Esplanade to the town of Boring.

What should you order? Partly, that depends on how far you want to pedal. If you’re willing to roll to Boring and back, get the fundamentalist steak sandwich from Cheesesteak Nirvana, a slab of marionberry strudel from Cake on a Hot Tin Roof and a beer, if the tented bar is open.

With a heavy stream of cyclists set to start riding past Cartlandia, 8.5 miles from downtown, we decided to check out the pod’s newer carts and a few old favorites. Here’s what to eat, depending on your chosen turnaround point.

MILE 9, I-205 TOFU CILANTRO TEMPEH WRAP ($7) The Good and Evil Wrap Co. 707-4695, facebook.com/TheGoodAndEvilWrapCompany

Good edges out evil at this cart, which is evenly divided between antioxidant-rich hippie foods and gut-busting lard bombs. Our “Good” wrap was more salad, heavy on crisp spinach and tart cranberries but very light on soy products. It still bested the “Evil” black-and-blue steak wrap ($7.50), filled with fatty steak that had been breaded and fried, bacon and blue cheese.

MILE 10, POWELL BUTTE PORK ADOBO ($7) Kusina sa Gulong 752-5970, cartlandia.com/kusina-sa-gulong

Philippine cuisine was influenced by Asian, Austronesian, Spanish and American food and can be quite complex. But serving from a tiny cart kitchen, Kusma sa Gulong keeps things simple with

MILE 14, LINNEMAN STATION CHEESE AND ONION PASTY ($6) London Pasty Company

3805 SE 52nd Ave. • 503-777-6009 • Open all week 7am-2:30am

616-6571, facebook.com/LondonPastyCompany

If you need some quick carbs or to please a pickyeating child, grab one of these potato pasties. While the British hand pies can often be filled with spicy curries and rich stews, this one is basically a giant Mrs. T’s pierogi, filled with mashed potatoes that take some flavor from a little onion and cheese.

MILE 17.5, HOGAN ROAD CABBAGE ROLLS ($5.99), MANTI ($6.99) AND VETRUSHKA ($2.49) Traditional Russian Cuisine 754-0619, pdxrussiancuisine.com

This is not actually Portland’s first Russian cart—a long-forgotten downtown cart opened and closed in 2008—but it’s the only one now open. Cabbage rolls stuffed with ground beef, onions and plump rice under a creamy drizzle, and large lamb-filled manti dumplings are deeply satisfying, while the vetrushka, a sweet, puffy pastry filled with a buttercream-like cottage cheese sauce, was one of the best bites we got. Try the salsa-like borscht ($2.99 for 16 ounces) so you can better laugh along with Yakov Smirnoff jokes.

MILE 21, BORING COUNTRY BREAKFAST RODEO DOG ($5.75) Deb’s Blazin’ Grill 516-2115, facebook.com/debs.blazingrill

The surprise breakout hit of our visit was Deb’s country breakfast rodeo dog. A Deb’s dog (we tried both beef and elk—the beef was better) is topped with scrambled eggs, bacon strips, tater tots and cheddar. A slathering of peppery country gravy is what really ties it all together. It’s like a complete Waffle House breakfast smashed together—with hot dog—but it’d be a great brunch after a long, early ride.

EAT: Cartlandia, 8145 SE 82nd Ave. 11 am-10 pm daily, though each cart’s hours vary.

Lavish Buffets Traditional Indian Cuisine Delight in All-You-Can-Eat or A la Carte Exotic Dishes of Lamb, Chicken, Goat

Gluten-Free, Vegetarian, Vegan options

Namaste Parkrose since 2009

8303 NE Sandy Blvd 503-257-5059 Vancouver since 2001

6300 NE 117th Ave 360-891-5857

NamasteIndianCuisine.com Willamette Week APRIL 10, 2013 wweek.com

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MUSIC

April 10–16 PROFILE

= WW Pick. Highly recommended.

JON SHARD

Prices listed are sometimes for advance ticket sales. At-the-door increases and socalled convenience charges may apply. Event lineups are subject to change after WW’s press deadlines.

Editor: MATTHEW SINGER. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, go to wweek.com/ submitevents and follow submission directions. All shows should be submitted two weeks or more in advance of event. Press kits, CDs and especially vinyl can be sent to Music Desk, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Please include show or release date information with all physical mailings. Email: msinger@wweek.com.

Fax: 243-1115.

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 10 Aux.78, Dusty Grimm, Waffle Taco

[OVERCAST EXPERIMENTALISM] Aux.78 is the guise of Nicholas Matta, a Portland-based sound designer par excellence and one of the few people currently finding exciting pathways connecting the worlds of experimental music and plain-spoken pop rock. Matta’s latest work, Sometime After the Fog, puts the emphasis on the former with 9-minute tracks that slowly unfurl long drones and bits of processed guitar or work off of beats that appear to have been made from samples of crinkling plastic wrap.

When performing live, look for his more melodic side to take precedence, but don’t be afraid when the sharp left turns leave you reeling. ROBERT HAM. Ash Street Saloon, 225 SW Ash St., 226-0430. 9 pm. Free. 21+.

Soul’d Out Festival: Anuhea, Justin Young

[REGGAE LOVE POP] This Hawaiibased songstress is all about the the love. Anuhea combines reggae rhythms with acoustic and hip-hop sensibilities, all while crooning about loving a man, loving others and loving and respecting herself. It’s hard not to hear shades of a controlled Christina Aguilera in her voice at times, and

it’s all done in an easygoing way. The lovey-doveyness gets a bit syrupy at times, but her music is largely upbeat and fun and doesn’t suffer from any major missteps. BRIAN PALMER. Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside St., 2319663. 9 pm. $15. 21+.

Soul’d Out Festival: Ghostface Killah, Adrian Younge’s Venice Dawn

[WU-TANG VINTAGE] Any hip-hop aficionado worth his knowledge of the coke trade is familiar with Ghostface Killah, arguably the Wu-Tang Clan’s pre-eminent lyricist. Less-known is Adrian Younge. A young producer, arranger and multi-instrumentalist from Los Angeles, Younge composed the soundtrack to the hilarious 2009 blaxploitation send-up Black Dynamite.

Although the film was a goof, the music was an expertly crafted exercise in ’70s-style funky soul. Clearly, the dude knew his shit, and he went on to prove that further by producing a dynamically retro record from William Hart of Philly soul giants the Delfonics and his own warmly faux-vintage psychedelic throwback, Something About April, under the name Venice Dawn.

Now Younge is collaborating with Ghostface on the rapper’s upcoming 12 Reasons to Die. What’s more, Younge and his band are backing Ghostface

CONT. on page 35

SAFEWAY, HERE HE COMES PORTLAND’S “GODLIKE GENIUS”-INRESIDENCE, JOHNNY MARR, GOES BACK TO THE NEW HOUSE.

STEVE PERILLOUX

BY JAY HOrTON

TOP FIVE

BY M ATTH EW SI N GER

FIVE MUST-SEE BANDS AT BENDER 2013 Cheater Slicks (April 12) Running on, in their words, “100 percent negative energy” since 1996, the three-man Ohio noise machine makes howling, despondent rock ’n’ roll that, for all its convulsive deconstructionism, keeps one foot planted in the American music tradition.

The Missing Monuments (April 12) When King Louie Bankston lived in Portland in the early 2000s, he helped co-write a chunk of the Exploding Hearts’ power-pop classic, Guitar Romantic. The journeyman punk’s current project folds together the elements that have defined his career for 20 years: bighearted melodies, restless energy and an eternally adolescent outlook.

The Cynics (April 13) Nuggets-era revivalism is all the rage these days, but the Pittsburgh outfit has sounded (and looked) like a band Lenny Kaye forgot since the late ’80s, back when psychedelic organs, folk-rock guitars and shag haircuts were considered majorly uncool. Times have changed; thankfully, the Cynics have not.

Black Bananas (pictured; April 14) Breaking up the Bender onslaught of punk and garage rock, ex-Royal Trux singer Jennifer Herrema draws from a proudly scuzzy well of butt-rock riffs, synth-funk grooves and snarly, leather-tough ’tude.

Gregg Turner (April 14, VIP party) As co-founder of hardcore shit-disturbers Angry Samoans, Turner spent his youth wrinting songs about Hitler’s penis and stabbing yourself in the eye with a fork. Older and wiser—he’s got a degree in mathematics—he is no less of a chucklehead, writing ’50s-inflected songs about Walgreens and dreaming of Lou Reed. Lucky us.

SEE IT: The Bender is at Star Theater, 13 NW 6th Ave., on Friday-Sunday, April 12-14. $30 for three-day wristband plus VIP show. Individual shows are $12 advance, $14 day of show.

See thebenderbenderbender.tumblr.com for a full schedule.

243-2122

Johnny Marr is that rarest of all creatures: He is living, and he is legend.

After roaming the globe for a quarter century to briefly aid a dizzying litany of acts, his résumé reads like guitar-hero fan fiction even without mention of Morrissey or the enormously influential four albums recorded by the Smiths during their short career.

One of the few truly unassailable members of the modern-rock pantheon—a recent NME award for “Godlike Genius” rather underplays the Manchester guitarist’s standing among contemporaries—his just-released solo debut, The Messenger, finds him thriving in the newfound role of frontman.

While Marr is not, perhaps, the most successful or well-known musician ever to call Portland home, his 2005 arrival in response to entreaties from Isaac Brock felt as much a nod to Portland as to Modest Mouse, and no number of indie-rock stars spotted locally could quite compare to the approval of one who birthed the firmament.

“I was supposed to be here for 10 days, as an experiment,” Marr says in a phone interview. “And we got on a roll.”

To some surprise, Marr lingered around town well after ending his participation in Modest Mouse, and maintained a Portland residence through untenured stints as visiting professor for the University of Salford in 2007 and a member of the Cribs in 2008.

“First of all, you’ve got a bunch of guitar stores,” he says, “and they’re reasonably priced, which is a dying culture. There’s a great drum store called Revival.

We were really knocked out by Powell’s. That was cool. I could spend so much of my time there. We’d found that there were a lot of thrift stores—Buffalo Exchange, Red Light—and record stores like Jackpot.

I’m not a great one for hanging around bars, but all of these shops I liked quite a lot.”

Local shopkeepers can blame The Messenger for Marr’s most recent absence. Marr returned to

Manchester to ensure the first record ever released under his name alone would achieve the proper Britishness for an album whose themes center upon the challenges of modern life within the United Kingdom. Given the often drearily hectoring lyrics—a particular shame considering the prototypical sideman demonstrates unforeseen strength of vocals; less shockingly, the guitar work is excellent throughout—one suspects he was aiming all along for a tone rather the opposite of fun, though he’s quick to defend his hometown and point out the similarities between his chosen cities.

“Because I’m a Manchester musician, over the years I’ve been asked many, many times why so many groups that people really like came from this area,” he says. “I’ve been thinking over the question for a long time, and the weather—although it’s a quite predictable answer—has to play some part. I think indoor culture’s usually quite good for making people be creative. There’s an attitude that comes with people hanging out indoors and rehearsing in basements.”

For the indefinite future, Marr will be playing shows around the world to audiences excited about the new collection of songs and faintly ecstatic to hear the handful of Smiths classics he has been newly performing. In past years, of course, any precise schedule depended heavily upon whichever frontman Marr wished to join, and it’s probably too soon to see if his success at center stage would lessen the desire for constant collaboration. “I plan to come back very soon, but I also like not really knowing too much about what I’m doing next,” he says. “I just follow my musical instincts and guess that in a couple of years it will probably work out.”

When asked if our city might deserve its own album by then, Marr laughs.

“That would be interesting, yeah,” he says. “With some of the comments I have to make—and I hope I never complain—I’m not certain how appropriate it would be for me to write about a country that I wasn’t born in, but, sure, I’d love to do something that was inspired by Portland. Maybe I could do a track with the Thermals.”

SEE IT: Johnny Marr plays the Aladdin Theater, 3017 SE Milwaukie Ave., with Alamar, on Tuesday, April 16. 8 pm. $25 advance, $30 day of show.

Under 21 permitted with legal guardian.

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wednesday–thursday live. Considering Wu-Tang’s signature love of dusty, classic soul samples, it’s a match to make any hip-hop head salivate. MATTHEW SINGER. Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., 288-3895. 9 pm and midnight. $30. 21+.

MUSIC

PROFILE

[RETRO-FUTURE FUNK] It’s a shame what’s happened to funk in recent years. Like reggae, the word—if not precisely the form—has largely been co-opted by college hippies who wouldn’t know a good groove if it leapt out of their bag of dried kale and whomped them in the mouth.

Thank Bootsy for Damon “Dam-Funk” Riddick. A So-Cal native, the thirtysomething producer has been fighting to keep true, heavy-thwacking funk and its synth-driven offshoot known as boogie alive since the late ’80s.

Although he toiled in obscurity for well over a decade, 2009’s massive double-disc set, Toeachizown, introduced Funk—and, by proxy, funk—to a generation who never heard the music outside the context of hip-hop.

MATTHEW SINGER. Star Theater, 13 NW 6th Ave. 9 pm. $15. 21+.

Keiji Haino

[TURNING JAPAN-NOISE] Inspired by sources as diverse as the Doors, Blind Lemon Jefferson and radical early 20th-century French avantgarde theater director and writer Antonin Artaud, the 60-year-old Japanese guitarist-vocalist Keiji Haino has performed in blues, garage and psychedelic rock bands as well as more experimental contexts, collaborating with everyone from the great composer Toru Takemitsu to downtown New York jazzer John Zorn. Fans of noise, free improv and other far-out, sometimes abrasive, Beefheartian vocal, guitar and percussion sounds, lend him your ears, and hope you’ll get them back. BRETT CAMPBELL. Yale Union, 800 SE 10th Ave., 236-7996. 8 pm. $12. All ages.

THURSDAY, APRIL 11 Rose Cousins, Cara Luft

[FOLK BALLADS] Canadian singersongwriter Rose Cousins makes some pretty stirring stuff. She uses her broad vocal range to hit rich highs and dusty lows while singing about some of life’s bigger issues.

And while the music is not overtly happy, it possesses a haunting beauty that is augmented by dreamy strains of Americana and plaintive piano keys. Cousins performs with an understated confidence and often sounds more like a matter-of-fact storyteller than someone trying to tug at your heartstrings, but sometimes that is exactly what her music ends up doing. If you like contemplative folk and Americana with a bit of Sarah McLachlan-like vocals tossed in, Cousins is just what you’re looking for. BRIAN PALMER. Alberta Rose Theatre, 3000 NE Alberta St., 719-6055. 8 pm. $12 advance, $15 day of show. All ages.

Anciients

[PROGRESSIVE SLUDGE] It’s become increasingly acceptable to combine psychedelic and progressive elements with heavy metal.

Bands like Mastodon and Baroness are achieving mainstream success with such fusions, and in the Pacific Northwest, we have a different way of doing it that’s usually a bit more cult and a lot less listener-friendly.

Vancouver, B.C.’s Anciients seems unafraid of accessibility, and the band is generating some pretty wild buzz as a result. “Faith and Oath” from Anciients’ forthcoming debut album, Heart of Oak, which drops later this month, sounds like Mastodon covering Soundgarden. If that scares you, rest assured the live show is satisfyingly brutal. NATHAN CARSON. Dante’s, 350 W Burnside St., 226-6630. 9:50 pm. $10. 21+.

CONT. on page 37

N AT H A N B O B E Y

Soul’d Out Festival: Dam-Funk, Starship Connection, Suzanne Kraft

MAGIC FADES SATURDAY, APRIL 13 [SIMWAVE] “I bump fades when I fuck.

So what?” says the muscular, shirtless man, digitally rendered as part of the virtual-world game Second Life, as he cocks his head to the side and spreads his arms wide. This is the type of Internet art Mike Grabarek and Jeremy Scott, together known as electronic R&B duo Magic Fades, forge out of found images and post on Tumblr. They’re mild gamers, but it’s the images, not the games themselves, that hold so much intrigue for the duo. “People are creating what they think would be the ultimate human,” Scott explains.

This quest for perfection is not lost on Scott and Grabarek.

Musically, Magic Fades is hard to pin down but can be geolocated somewhere in the bloggy, foggy Bermuda Triangle between “new alternative,” dreamy R&B and the emerging micro-genre referred to as “vaporwave.” In short, Grabarek says, their goal is “to make weird music that is also poppy.” Lyrically, their songs ooze with romance, swagger and sex. On “Sims Hunk,” from last year’s Mishka-released Obsession, Grabarek promises, “I can do this for hours/ Let’s make this night ours.”

Although currently relegated to opening slots in Portland, Magic Fades has made a lot of fans on the Web. Last year, Scott and Grabarek took what they considered their best song, the twinkling, thumping “Endless Summer,” to the now-defunct Dior Nights Facebook group, a collection of like-minded influential artists and musicians across the U.S. With support from respected Knoxvillebased producer Slow Head, Magic Fades saw its SoundCloud play counts rise considerably. Last month, along with fellow Portlander Vektroid, the group performed on Tinychat—a “very ghetto” live video-streaming site, according to Grabarek—and attracted so many viewers that the site crashed.

Magic Fades’ local rep is gradually increasing, especially after playing last summer’s Dark Arts Fest. Since then, requests to open for acts like Onuinu and Shy Girls have streamed in, and Scott and Grabarek bagged a monthly DJ night at Holocene, which they’re calling Real Emotion: Slow Jams & Cosmic Soul. “We’ve been fortunate to open for bands people love,” Grabarek says.

“Normally if we get a response from a booking agent, it’s gonna be one word: no.” With Scott on keyboards and backing vocals and Grabarek singing lead and shredding guitar, Magic Fades’ sultry jams are difficult for a lot of club kids to grasp, and normally they elicit little more than the typical head-bob from uninitiated crowds. Bigger nights have seen other results, however. At their New Year’s Eve performance at Holocene, Scott says, “a group of girls were wasted and they were getting freaky.” Grabarek pauses: “Who’s that girl? I can’t remember her name. She was twerking pretty hard actually.”

Magic Fades isn’t planning to leave the bedroom world of SoundClouds, tweets and Tumbles behind, but you can bet that expanding into the club world will change how it operates. “It’s not just searching tags or whatever,” Scott says. “It’s about being friends with someone and trusting their taste.” MITCH LILLIE. already Internet famous, a Portland duo makes moves offline.

SEE IT: Magic Fades plays Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison St., with Shy Girls, Sapient and Sex Life DJs, on Saturday, April 13. 8:30 pm. $8 advance, $10 day of show. 21+.

Willamette Week APRIL 10, 2013 wweek.com

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EXTENDED, NOW THROUGH APRIL 14TH

Willimette weekly crop ad to 5.727 x 6.052

ON SALE NOW

FRIDAY, MAY 10 Showtime: 8:00pm

ARLENE SCHNITZER CONCERT HALL

Buy tickets online at www.pcpa.com

By Phone: 800-273-1530 at the PCPA Box Office or at TicketsWest Outlets PRESENTED BYY

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thursday

Tyler the Creator

[WOLF GANG] When Los Angeles rap collective Odd Future first jumped on the scene two years ago, it gained popularity by mixing shock value and artistic integrity. The group’s leader, Tyler the Creator, gained the most buzz thanks to the “Yonkers” video, which depicted him black-pupiled and throwing up cockroaches.

Despite all the noise, Tyler and company were largely inconsistent.

That’s starting to change. Tyler just dropped Wolf, a fascinating concept album that shows the rapper-producer stepping back from the shock raps and dwelling more on introspective storytelling. He’s still a wily-eyed jokester who jumps headfirst into concert crowds, but now he—along with the rest of his crew—is giving his work a refined touch. REED JACKSON. Hawthorne Theatre, 3862 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 233-7100. 9 pm. $20 advance, $23 day of show. All ages.

Aaron Carter, Chrystian

WENDIE CHAO

[KID POP] At Aaron’s party—that is, in the video for “Aaron’s Party,” child pop star Aaron Carter’s 2000 hit single—preteens threw ’bows at a time when everyone else had chaperones keeping intergroinal distances at a 2-foot minimum. His parents came home and grounded him, but you know what? The party

Q&A

MUSIC

didn’t stop. All this before Carter’s 13th birthday. This author’s thinly veiled jealousy, though, has turned to schadenfreude. Carter has gone eight years without touring and 11 without releasing a new album.

During his hiatus, he secretly dated Lindsay Lohan while still dating Hilary Duff, was arrested for marijuana possession and found himself in numerous legal battles. It’s hard to see through the heavy PR smog, but it seems this year’s After Party Tour (get it?) will be conflicted.

There’s no doubt Carter can sing and dance, but the originality of the performance and its suitability to the homey Mission Theater remains to be seen. MITCH LILLIE. Mission Theater, 1624 NW Glisan St., 223-4527. 7 pm. $20. All ages.

Jobs for the Food and Drink Industry Staffing solutions for owners and managers

Robert Ham maps the fringes of Portland music.

Biweekly on wweek.com

NYC/ CHI/ SFO/ SEA /PDX/ AUS

Mount Eerie, Ashley Eriksson, Like a Villain

[EXTREME ATMOSPHERIC] Phil Elverum is to Anacortes, Wash., as Sigur Rós is to Iceland and Bombino to Saharan Africa. The highly experimental artist who performs as Mount Eerie incorporates place into his practice, turning out pieces so volatile they seem to carry their own stormy microclimates. Last year, with the releases of Clear Moon and Ocean Roar, we witnessed both the passive and aggressive Elverum. Like Mother

Untitled-2 1

6/10/12 9:41 AM

CONT. on page 39

BY AM ANDA S CH U RR

MELISSA MESZAROS, SLABTOWN GRRRL FRONT Pennsylvania native Melissa Meszaros moved to the Pacific Northwest eight years ago and began booking shows for Slabtown last December. Among her first brainstorms: a fourday, grrrl-empowering onslaught of music, visual art, comedy and outreach presented in tandem with the venue’s fledgling All-Ages Collective.

Meszaros discussed the inaugural Grrrl Front, which features headliners the Vandies, Rocket 3 and Delaney & Paris among its more than 30 acts, and why she believes the mighty “rrr” is as relevant as ever. “It hasn’t been done in a long time, and there’s not enough of it,” she says.

M USICF E STNW P O R T L A N D, O R E G O N S E P T E M B E R 3 - 8 , 2 0 1 3

LAUNCH PARTY

WW: What was the impetus for Grrrl Front?

Melissa Meszaros: I moved here because of being a young kid really inspired by the riot-grrrl movement. So I thought up the idea of doing something incorporating feminism and all ages, and bringing the younger crowd into the older crowd. We decided just to keep it low-key, keep it at Slabtown, keep it very DIY more than anything, and we figured if we could build a festival based on that, we can help these bands get the recognition that they deserve.

There tends to be a noninclusive stigma attached to these gender-focused events. What’s your response?

I think about Kurt Cobain wearing a dress and calling himself a riot grrrl—and that kind of feeds into the history of it. I would say anybody could be a riot grrrl, and that feeds into the queer demographic and the transgender demographic as well.

What else sets the event apart?

It’s not just punk rock. It’s also folk music. We’re covering more than one genre, which also speaks back to the appeal of it being not just about all-female, all-feminism. It’s all types of music, all types of art. We have comedians who are really phenomenal— Stacey Hallal I saw open for Bob Saget. When choosing a band, I made sure to appeal to people that like different types of music, and not just this one conceptual idea of riot grrrl. I really want that to change.

ANd gUesTs

TUesdAY mAY 28 2013 woNdeR bALLRoom 128 Ne RUsseLL sT 7:30 dooRs ALL Ages www.CHvRCH.es www.gLAssNoTemUsiC.Com

SEE IT: Grrrl Front is at Slabtown, 1033 NW 16th Ave., on Thursday-Sunday, April 11-14. 7 pm Thursday-Friday, 6 pm Saturday-Sunday. $20 for full-weekend tickets, $7 at door for individual shows. All ages. See slabtownbar.net for full schedule.

tickets on sale at ticketfly.com Willamette Week APRIL 10, 2013 wweek.com

37

WILLAMETTE WEEK’S

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Publishes: April 24, 2013

Space Reservation & Materials Deadline: Tuesday, April 16 at 4pm • Call: 503.243.2122 • Email: advertising@wweek.com

A SPECIAL FREE PERFORMANCE

BY

S TEVE E ARLE !

FRIDAY, APRIL 19TH 6 PM

AT MUSIC MILLENNIUM

Pre-buy the new album

‘Low Highway’

for guaranteed admission!

$14.99 (reg. CD) • $20.99 (dlx. CD) • $20.99 (vinyl)

The Low Highway is Earle’s 15th studio album since the release of his highly influential 1986 debut ‘Guitar Town.’

UPCOMING IN-STORE PERFORMANCES NICK JAINA Record Release Event TUESDAY 4/16 @ 6 PM Nick Jaina is a musician and writer from Portland.

The title of his new album, ‘Primary Perception,’ refers to the gut instinct or sincere spontaneous emotions you have in a given moment, versus the calculated thought-out response that comes after

RED JACKET MINE WEDNESDAY 4/17 @ 6 PM This quartet proudly calls Seattle home, but you’d be hard-pressed to pinpoint the guys’ area code simply by spinning their superlative new album, ‘Someone Else’s Cake.’ Red Jacket Mine isn’t part of the latest wave from Seattle or anywhere. They snag the ear with endearing melodies, lyrical barbs, and engages the heart and mind.

– RECORD STORE DAY – SATURDAY, 4/20 8 AM-10 PM 6:30 PM: Meet the legendary band Sparks at a special autograph session!

Buy the new CD or PICTURE DISC and get two additional pieces signed by SPARKS!

2:00 PM: autograph signing with The Thermals, for their new album ‘Desperate Ground.’

We’re giving out coffee and muffins from 7:00 AM8:00 AM, a free gift bag to all customers (while they last), and a free coupon book for discounts in May!

38

Willamette Week APRIL 10, 2013 wweek.com

thursday–sunday Nature herself, Mount Eerie is dense and commanding, delicate at times and prone to outbursts at others.

In essence, Elverum is a musical weather vane, expressing the everchurning Pacific Northwest through sonic landscape portraits. MARK STOCK. Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., 288-3895. 9 pm. $10. 21+.

just I-5 Afrobeat spawned in the Pacific Northwest that stands out merely by not being indie rock. It’s a global sound that transports you into a funky realm all its own. AP KRYZA. Mt. Tabor Theater, 4811 SE Hawthorne Blvd. 9 pm. $12. 21+.

Dinosaur Jr., the Shrine

Soul’d Out Festival: Booker T., Charlie Hunter, Carlton Jackson

[STILL ALT-ROCKIN’] Frankly, the thought of Dinosaur Jr.’s 2005 resurrection terrified me. Would yet another great alt-rock band shoot itself in the foot by trying to stay relevant? The trio has done quite well, in fact, evidenced by the best record of the band’s revival era, last year’s I Bet on Sky. J. Mascis’ crackly, whitewashed voice persists over dexterous guitar work and the same punishing drum signatures we headbanged to when the band was tooling around on a golf cart in the “Feel the Pain” video. Soundgarden charges close to $100 for a seat and Pearl Jam is busy strumming ukeleles, so get your ’90s fix here, which is the best way possible. MARK STOCK. Wonder Ballroom, 128 NE Russell St., 284-8686. 8:30 pm. $25. 21+.

FRIDAY, APRIL 12 Keller Williams

[JAMMIN’ ON HIS OWN] Keller Williams could have made a stellar children’s entertainer: The dude’s incredible “one-man jam band” methods of looping vocal and instrumental elements include funky, often whimsical and sweetnatured melodies. (He actually does have one kids’ record under his belt, and Raffi it ain’t.) He’s something of a hippie superhero, a dude whose mind-blowing, self-contained shows are the stuff of trippy legend—even his work with String Cheese Incident is pretty remarkable. Williams recently collaborated with the Travelin’ McCourys and is launching a piano-based Grateful Dead cover album, but the real draw is watching the guy jackknife across genre lines—funk, rock, reggae—on a stage with nothing but his guitar, his robots and his whimsy. AP KRYZA. Aladdin Theater, 3017 SE Milwaukie Ave., 234-9694. 9 pm. $25. All ages.

SATURDAY, APRIL 13 Soul’d Out Festival: The Holmes Brothers

[A STUDY IN SOUL] The gospel is afoot, and the funk-soul-blues alongside. Following a nasty battle with cancer, Wendell Holmes is back sharing the stage with brother Sherman and “Brother” Popsy Dixon, as the legendary vocal trio launches another tour in support of their 11th album, Feed My Soul. Helmed once again by Joan Osborne, who shepherded the 2001 release that more or less introduced the Holmes Brothers to the mainstream, this latest collection emphasizes Wendell’s original compositions—though the group, beloved for genre-confounding covers of everything from classic country to Cheap Trick, recasts the Beatles’ “I’ll Be Back” as earthy doo-wop—and minimizes production gloss to capture an unvarnished portrait of their spellbinding performances. Eliminate all other factors, and the one that remains must be the truth. JAY HORTON. Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., 2883895. 7:30 pm. $20. 21+.

Soul’d Out Festival: Polyrhythmics

[LOCALIZED FUNK] Seattle octet Polyrhythmics has spent the past three years lighting up the I-5 corridor with a reverent, precision-based form of funk and Afrobeat orchestrations that, in a region rife with predominantly white kids making Fela-lite, is uncommonly authentic.

The relevance to the source material is uncanny, but it’s the flourishes— the modern funk vibe and fleeting shots of rock energy—that set the band apart from imitators. This isn’t

SUNDAY, APRIL 14 [SOUL-FUNK-JAZZ COLLAB] Booker T. Jones has re-emerged in recent years with a pair of Grammywinning releases: Potato Hole in 2009, produced by Patterson Hood of Drive-By Truckers, and 2011’s Roots-backed The Road From Memphis. The latter was laseraimed at the contemporary market, with guest spots from Jim James, Sharon Jones and the National’s

MUSIC

Matt Berninger, plus instrumental covers of Gnarls Barkley’s “Crazy” and Lauryn Hill’s “Everything Is Everything” (and a Lou Reed turn).

This show with guitarist Charlie Hunter, another celebrated instrumentalist a generation younger than Jones, should hopefully push the classic soul-funk man to the edges of his meat-and-potatoes sound. Impeccably pedigreed Portland-via-N’awlins favorite Carlton Jackson completes the trio on drums.JEFF ROSENBERG. Dante’s, 350 W Burnside St., 2266630. 7 pm. $22. 21+.

Jaymay, Gregory and the Hawk, Kayoko

[A MUTABLE FEIST] Jaymay, a veteran performer within New York’s anti-folk unscene, long ago became

CONT. on page 40

ALBUM REVIEWS

THE SHIVAS WHITEOUT! (K RECORDS) [GARAGE POP] True fans of the Shivas have already heard the songs on their second album a dozen times over, either through seeing the quartet’s sensational live show or by purchasing a copy of Whiteout! on cassette via Burger Records. Now, thanks to the Shivas’ new relationship with Olympia’s K Records and the extensive tour schedule the band always seems to be on, it’s time for the rest of the known universe to get caught up.

On paper, the move from Burger to K is quite savvy. The former label is a great fit for the transistor-radio sound of the band’s music. Burger is well-known for its love of shimmying surf-guitar riffs, reverbed vocal harmonies and punchy jams that threaten to devolve into spattered psychedelic freakouts, which the Shivas toss out with ease. K shares that love but also has a soft spot for caveman skronk and twee. The Shivas certainly don’t indulge in either of those sounds, but they do feel connected at times to the thudding swirl of K’s signature band, Beat Happening—check out the low, Link Wray fuzz slathered on “Living and Dying Like Horatio Alger” or the organ-punctuated clamor of “Kissed in the Face.”

Of course, given their chosen sound, the bruises of influence are always going to be visible on the Shivas’ collective person. That the band doesn’t sink under the weight into pure pastiche is a testament to its smart songwriting and rascally energy. ROBERT HAM. SEE IT: The Shivas play Bunk Bar, 1028 SE Water Ave., with Mister Tang, on Saturday, April 13. 9 pm. $5. 21+.

ELECTRIC ILL TWISTED LIGHT (AMORE!PHONICS) [ELECTRO-POP] Kevin Robinson has already made his name as one half of dream-pop duo Viva Voce and the countrified Blue Giant, and he’s got enough cultural currency saved up to indulge in whatever idea or genre strikes his fancy. But would anyone guess that would mean ’80s-style electro-pop anthems? Sure, synthesized ripples run through the background of most Viva Voce recordings, but they’ve never sounded as kitschy.

What’s not apparent is just how seriously to take Electric Ill. Although Robinson and his partner for this venture, vocalist Ragen Fykes, throw themselves into these lovingly crafted mall-pop jams with aplomb, there’s a whiff of irony to the project. Robinson now insists on being referred to as Kaylee Rob, and press materials boast that Twisted Light “could shake the current electronicdriven music scene.” That’s a stretch, but the EP does provide some dance-floor smiles along the way. Robinson lays heavily on the vocoder to complement Fykes’ cooing vocals on the booming and sexy “Rock for You,” and he hits the falsetto hard and surprisingly well on the disco funk “Goodbye to the Old Life.”

I prefer to think of Electric Ill as a lark for Robinson. But if this is the start of a new direction for the newly named artist, he certainly has a fine foundation to build on. ROBERT HAM. HEAR IT: Electric Ill’s Twisted Light is for sale at amorephonics.com.

Willamette Week APRIL 10, 2013 wweek.com

39

sunday–tuesday CO U R T E SY O F PA R A D I G M AG E N C Y

MUSIC

totally wired: Savages play Bunk Bar on Monday, april 15. an acquired taste. Any harbored dreams of Regina Spektor-dom were forgotten the moment brassy scatting entered her otherwise spartan instrumental repertoire.

For a certain breed of singer-songwriter acolyte, though, a simplistic voicing of emotional resonance really is all they need. Her devotees delightedly describe the former Jamie Seerman as a streamlined Bob Dylan shorn of wasteful attention to songcraft or lyrical complexity. Worse yet, they’re just the sort of overbearing superfans who’ll try and sell the uninitiated on Jaymay’s powers by harnessing the evocative associations of playing a favored song during anniversary party, time of mourning or, per the demands of one besotted cast member, the climactic events of last season’s How I Met Your Mother. JAY HORTON. Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison St., 239-7639. 8 pm. $8 advance, $10 day of show.

All ages.

Bad Religion, the Bronx, Polar Bear Club

[PUNK LUMINARIES] Vocalist Greg Graffin might be Bad Religion’s only consistent member over the band’s nearly 35-year lifespan, but that doesn’t mean the rest of the California punk icons are just his backing band. The band’s current lineup reunites three out of the four founding members: Graffin, guitarist Brett Gurewitz, and bassist Jay Bentley. True North, the outfit’s 16th studio album, is a quick shot of an album, hell-bent on questioning society’s moral compass and teeming with the band’s usual sociopolitical motifs. Despite its lightning duration, it revels in the band’s intricate vocal harmonies, overlaid on the same slab of distortion and rhythmic outpourings that persistently crown Bad Religion as the Warped Tour kings time after time. BRANDON WIDDER. Roseland Theater, 8 NW 6th Ave., 224-2038. 8 pm. $25 advance, $30 day of show. All ages.

MONDAY, APRIL 15 Savages

[SEETHING POST-PUNK] Rare is the band that actually comes across as worthy of all the buzz being stirred up around it. One of those singular acts is a U.K. fourpiece called Savages. How this quartet of women has risen above the noise is by finding new nooks to explore in the picked-apart bones of post-punk. The band’s upcoming Matador release, Silence Yourself, slashes at the gut with razorlike guitar tones, shoving sharp-edged treatises on gender politics and desperate living in among the entrails. It’s intense, sexy and more than a little goosebump-inducing. ROBERT HAM. Bunk Bar, 1028 SE Water Ave., 8949708. 9 pm. $10 advance, $12 day of show. 21+.

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Willamette Week APRIL 10, 2013 wweek.com

TUESDAY, APRIL 16 The Telescopes, LSD and the Search for God, Night Beats

[PSYCH] The Telescopes should be offended when it’s suggested that the Velvet Underground existed in a vacuum free of musical influences, the band’s bloodline diluted among millions of stylistically dissimilar groups. Lead singer Stephen Lawrie’s deadpan vocals simmer with energy almost as strongly as Lou Reed’s, even if the guitars drone more like My Bloody Valentine.

Perhaps, like all VU comparisons, this is just wishful equating, but the Telescopes sure do sound like other cult-friendly bands—Suicide and Spacemen 3 come to mind—without the cult following. Since their debut, 1989’s Taste, their style has varied along with their lineup (Lawrie is the only remaining original member), and for 10 years the band seemingly disappeared. If that’s not enough to make the Telescopes the next candidate for cultish rediscovery, I don’t know what is. MITCH LILLIE. Dante’s, 350 W Burnside St., 226-6630. 8:40 pm. $8. 21+.

Soul’d Out Festival: A Tribe Called Red, DJ Anjali and the Incredible Kid

[POWWOW NOW] As globalization draws together the corners of the earth, folding the sounds of formerly far-off lands (e.g., Latin American cumbia, West African pop) into Western music, DJ crew A Tribe Called Red is repping a musical tradition from the land right beneath our feet: that of North America’s indigenous peoples. The three Ottawabased producers, who all hail from Canadian First Nations, mash up the drumming and whooping sounds of a traditional powwow with the drumming and whooping sounds of a modern club—that is, hip-hop-heavy EDM—to create a strikingly original (and subtly meaningful) hybrid style they call “powwow step.” JONATHAN FROCHTZWAJG. Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison St., 239-7639. 8 pm. $10 advance, $12 day of show. 21+.

The Gaslight Anthem, Matt Mays

[WORKING-CLASS ROCK] Bruce Springsteen is not the only musician to come out of the Garden State. From Whitney Houston to the Misfits, many musicians have called New Jersey their home, including the tattooed, tender-loving boys of the Gaslight Anthem.

Not much has changed since the band’s debut 2007 album, Sink or Swim, but the group continuously chugs along with its anthemic pop-punk hooks and fed by frontman Brian Fallon’s taste for melodrama. Yesteryear’s Handwritten, the band’s fourth album, features the boys’ signature rough-and-tumble sing-alongs and tales of fleeting youth, loathsome betrayal and wild nights. BRANDON WIDDER. Wonder Ballroom, 128 NE Russell St., 284-8686. 9 pm. $20 advance, $23 day of show.

3341 SE Belmont 503-595-0575 BASEMENT BAR @THE BLUE MONK For the full calendar, visit www.thebluemonk.com Friday 4/12 9:00 Bridgetown Sextet Saturday 4/12 9:00 All The Apparatus w/ Vandella Tuesday 4/16 6:30 Pagan Jug Band Wednesday 4/17 8:00 Arabesque Belly Dance Thursday 4/18 9:00 The Infinity of it All, Shuggabush, Foster Haney Friday 4/19 8:00 Offbeat Belly Dance Saturday 4/20 9:00 De La Warr with Grand Royale Thursday 4/25 9:00 FUNK at the MONK with Excellent Gentlemen and DJ Weather Friday 4/26 9:00 Philly’s Phunkestra

Coming in May: 5/2 Thursday Hip Hop series: Calvin Valentine and TxE 5/3 Representatives with special guest Alameda 5/4 Mbrascatu

Stay on the Edge of the Pearl.

Walk to Timbers & Viking Games!

Winter Bargain Rates Downtown from $45 per night single occupancy ($55 double)

The GeorGia hoTel A Vintage Walk-Up Stroll to Powell’s, Shops, Restaurants, Theaters & Crystal Ballroom

308 SW 12th at Stark St. • 503- 227-3259 Willamette Week APRIL 10, 2013 wweek.com

41

APRIL 10–16 Poor Man’s Whiskey

= WW pick. Highly recommended.

Editor: Mitch Lillie. TO HAVE YOUR EVENT LISTED, send show information at least two weeks in advance on the web at wweek.com/submitevents or (if you book a specific venue) enter your events at dbmonkey. com/wweek. Press kits, CDs and especially vinyl can be sent to Music Desk, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Please include show or release date information with all physical mailings. Email: music@wweek.com.

For more listings, check out wweek.com.

PAT B O L D U C

836 N Russell St. Josh Hoke, Annie Bethancourt, Wildish (8:30 pm); Brothers of the Hound (5:30 pm)

Wilfs restaurant & Bar 800 NW 6th Ave. Dave Fleschner

Wonder Ballroom

128 NE Russell St. Dinosaur Jr., the Shrine

Fri. April 12

CAn We KiCK iT?: A Tribe Called red plays Holocene on Tuesday, April 16.

303 SW 12th Ave. Jason Scott Dodson

Aladdin Theater

3017 SE Milwaukie Ave. Jesse Cook

Ash Street Saloon

225 SW Ash St. AUX 78, Dusty Grimm, Waffle Taco

doug Fir lounge

830 E Burnside St. Anuhea, Justin Young

east end

203 SE Grand Ave. Middey Veil, Swahili, Brain Frut

Goodfoot lounge

2845 SE Stark St. Shafty (Phish tribute)

Vie de Boheme 1530 SE 7th Ave. Gypsy Jazz Jam

White eagle Saloon 836 N Russell St. World’s Finest

Yale Union (YU)

800 SE 10th Avenue Keiji Haino

THUrS. April 11

Hawthorne Theatre

Blackwater records

3939 N Mississippi Ave. Ghostface Killah, Adrian Younge’s Venice Dawn

Music Millennium

3158 E Burnside St. Sue Zalokar

peter’s room

8 NW 6th Ave. SpaceGhostPurrp, the Raider Klan, Portside

Shaker and Vine

2929 SE Powell Blvd.

Robbie Laws Guitar Ensemble

Slabtown

1033 NW 16th Ave. Sadie and the Blue-Eyed Devils, Lexingtons

Star Theater

13 NW 6th Ave. DaM-FunK, Starship Connection, Suzanne Kraft

The Know

2026 NE Alberta St. Dirty Kid Discount, MDC

The lodge Bar and Grill 6605 SE Powell Blvd Tommy Hogan

The press Club

2621 SE Clinton St. Jeff Trapp

42

Kelly’s Olympian

426 SW Washington St. 1776, Dead Teeth

Kenton Club

2025 N Kilpatrick St. Antique Scream, Machine

Mississippi pizza

832 SE Grand Ave. Pilon D’Azucar Salsa Band

1503 SE Cesar E. Chavez Blvd.

Jeffery Trapp

Mississippi Studios

2809 NE Sandy Blvd.

Machine Gun Vendetta, Faithless Saints, Secnd Best, Act of Sabotage

Andrea’s Cha Cha Club

3000 NE Alberta St. Rose Cousins, Cara Luft

225 SW Ash St. Hudson Falcons, Rum Rebellion, Second Rate, Thorntown Tallboys

2958 NE Glisan St. Gwenyth & Monko, Ail Sperry, Dan Weber, Copper & Coal

Katie O’Briens

Mission Theater

Ash Street Saloon

laurelThirst

1435 NW Flanders St. Tom Grant, Toni Lincoln

Alberta rose Theatre

Hawthorne Theatre lounge

3862 SE Hawthorne Blvd.

The Rocket Summer, The Classic Crime, Joe Brooks, William Beckett

ivories Jazz lounge and restaurant

1925 SE Morrison St. Condition, Arctic Flowers, Raw Nerves, Life Form

Buffalo Gap Saloon

6835 SW Macadam Ave. Paperback Fighter, Stephen Baker

Camellia lounge

510 NW 11th Ave. Johnny Knowles Trio

dante’s

350 W Burnside St. Anciients

doug Fir lounge

830 E Burnside St. Animal Eyes, Bear and Moore, Paper Brain

duff’s Garage

1635 SE 7th Ave. Paris Slim

east end

203 SE Grand Ave. Axxicorn, Shrouded in Veils, Analog Abuse, Levels

eastBurn

1800 E Burnside St. Columbia River Revival, De La Warr

Goodfoot lounge

2845 SE Stark St. Scott Pemberton Trio

Hawthorne Theatre lounge

1503 SE Cesar E. Chavez Blvd.

American Aquarium, Spirit Lake

Hawthorne Theatre

3862 SE Hawthorne Blvd.

Tyler the Creator

Willamette Week APRIL 10, 2013 wweek.com

1624 NW Glisan St. Aaron Carter, Chrystian 3552 N Mississippi Ave. Sadie and the Blue Eyed Devils, the Lexingtons (9 pm); Mo Phillips (6 pm)

Mississippi Studios

3939 N Mississippi Ave. Mount Eerie, Ashley Eriksson, Like a Villain

Mt. Tabor Theater

4811 SE Hawthorne Blvd.

Brad Parsons Band (theater); Thicker Than Thieves, the Sindicate, Irie Idea, the Longshots (lounge)

225 SW Ash St. Crime Machine, Heathen Shrine, Machetaso Profano, Dead Conspiracy, Abiosis

Backspace

115 NW 5th Ave. Chin Up Rocky, When We Team Up, Toxic Kid, All Falls Through, MEDIUM SIZED KIDS, Falling In Flight, Stark Heroes, The Last Department

Camellia lounge

510 NW 11th Ave. Dave Frishberg, Rebecca Kilgore

Club 21

2035 NE Glisan St. Fruit of the Legion of Loom, Dirtclodfight, Lord

dante’s

350 W Burnside St. Snarky Puppy, Afromassive

doug Fir lounge

830 E Burnside St. The Lower 48, the Dimes, Alameda, the Local Strangers

duff’s Garage

1635 SE 7th Ave. Shorty and the Mustangs, David J Sparrow and Western Songbirds

east end

203 SE Grand Ave. Protons, Primitive Idols, 42 Ford Prefect

Original Halibut’s ii

1800 E Burnside St. Closely Watched Trains

2527 NE Alberta St. Terry Robb

peter’s room 8 NW 6th Ave. Future, Slice 9

Secret Society lounge 116 NE Russell St. The Revelers

Shaker and Vine

2929 SE Powell Blvd.

Mike Prigodich

Slabtown

1033 NW 16th Ave. La Pump, Baby And Bukowski, Me & My Ego, Tiny Hearts, Havania Whaal, We Are / She Is

The Blue Monk

3341 SE Belmont St. Soul Installation

The Know

2026 NE Alberta St. Nucular Aminals, Gallons, Haunted Horses

Tiger Bar

317 NW Broadway Karaoke from Hell

Vie de Boheme

1530 SE 7th Ave. Pink Lady and the John Bennett Jazz Band

Secret Society lounge 116 NE Russell St. Pete Krebs and his Portland Playboys

Slabtown

1033 NW 16th Ave. Erica Russo, Rocket 3, Sugar Tits, The Vandies, Pink Slip, Lucia Fasano, Reverend Mrs., DJ Hero Worship

Star Theater

The Analog Cafe

Muddy rudder public House 8105 SE 7th Ave. Stumbleweed

8 NE Killingsworth St. Tiger House, Zebra Hunt, Sorta Ultra

Ash Street Saloon

Alberta rose Theatre

3728 NE Sandy Blvd.

Bo Ayers

2527 NE Alberta St. Kevin Selfe

3000 NE Alberta St. Live Wire Radio Show

3017 SE Milwaukie Ave. Keller Williams

Tony Starlight’s

Original Halibut’s ii

13 NW 6th Ave. Bender: Cheater Slicks, the Missing Monuments, James Arthur’s Manhunt, Thee Headliners, the Wimps, the Pity Fucks, Glitz, Youthbitch, Life Stinks, MUSK

Aladdin Theater

Wed. April 10

8105 SE 7th Ave. The Sportin’ Lifers Trio

record room White eagle Saloon

Al’s den at the Crystal Hotel

Muddy rudder public House

eastBurn

Hawthorne Theatre lounge

1503 SE Cesar E. Chavez Blvd.

How To Build A Fire

720 SE Hawthorne Kurt Van Meter

The Blue diamond

2016 NE Sandy Blvd.

Lloyd Allen, Sr.

The Blue Monk

3341 SE Belmont St. Bridgetown Sextet, E.A.R.T.H.

The Know

2026 NE Alberta St. Babbysitter, Lunch, Gay Ghost

The lodge Bar and Grill

6605 SE Powell Blvd Ty Curtis Fireball Party

The press Club

2621 SE Clinton St. The Druthers

Mt. Tabor Theater

4811 SE Hawthorne Blvd.

Hawthorne Theatre lounge

4811 SE Hawthorne Blvd.

Polyrhythmics, Moshka, Hartswick, Skerik, Apfelbaum

2845 SE Stark St. McTuff, Funky 2 Death, Bucket of Honey

Mt. Tabor Theater

1503 SE Cesar E. Chavez Blvd.

PL Young, Quinn Blodgett, Jesse Mazolla with Kayla White

red room

Hawthorne Theatre lounge

8 NW 6th Ave. A Day To Remember, Of Mice & Men, Issues

1503 SE Cesar E. Chavez Blvd.

Abnorms, Ghost Frog

Hawthorne Theatre

3862 SE Hawthorne Blvd.

American Roulette, Kill On Site, The Suppression, Chronological Injustice, Bloodoath, Ion Storm

2530 NE 82nd Ave. Tasp, Inanna, Blue Spectral Monkey

roseland Theater

Shaker and Vine

2929 SE Powell Blvd.

AnnaPaul & the Bearded Lady

Slabtown

1001 SE Morrison St. Shy Girls, Sapient, Magic Fades

1033 NW 16th Ave. Wicked Bitch, Demimonde Slumber Party, She’s Not Dead, Felecia and the Dinosaur, Litto Fox, Ilima Considine and The Sexbots

Katie O’Briens

Star Theater

Holocene

2809 NE Sandy Blvd.

Marmits, Young Dad, The Fur Coats

Kells Brewpub

210 NW 21st Ave. Sami Rouisi

Kenton Club

2025 N Kilpatrick St. Medicine Family, Wooden Indian Burial Ground, Bubble Cats

13 NW 6th Ave. Bender: The Cynics, White Mystery, Monoshock, Head, Therapists, The Pynnacles, Rhett & Dean, Sex Crime, The DT’s, Warm Soda

Studio 14

333 NE Hancock St.

3341 SE Belmont St. All the Apparatus

The Know

2026 NE Alberta St. Antikythera, Shadows, Lamprey

The lodge Bar and Grill

6605 SE Powell Blvd Kerry Dean Stickler Band

The press Club

2621 SE Clinton St. Yiddish Republik

White eagle Saloon

836 N Russell St. Tango Alpha Tango, Ben Union, Eternal Faire (9:30 pm); The Student Loan (4:30 pm)

White Owl Social Club 1305 SE 8th Ave. Mikey Lixx

SUn. April 14 3 doors down

1429 SE 37th Ave. Dennis Hitchcox

Al’s den at the Crystal Hotel 303 SW 12th Ave. Matt Hopper

Alberta rose Theatre

3000 NE Alberta St. Portland Interfaith Gospel Choir, Janice Scroggins, LaRhonda Steele, Reggie Houston

Andina

1314 NW Glisan St.

BAR SPOTLIGHT

SAT. April 13 3000 NE Alberta St. Oregon Mandolin Orchestra, Don Stiernberg

Andina

1314 NW Glisan St. Toshi Onizuka Trio

Ash Street Saloon

115 NW 5th Ave. Tiananmen Bear, Swingset Showdown, Cambrian Explosion, the Ecstatics

Branx

3552 N Mississippi Ave. Will West and the Friendly Strangers, Kory Quinn and the Comrades (9 pm); Level 2 (6 pm)

3939 N Mississippi Ave. The Holmes Brothers

Mississippi Studios

The Blue Monk

Alberta rose Theatre

Kenton Club

Mississippi pizza

Goodfoot lounge

3416 N Lombard St. Lunch, Tyrants, Bahn Mi

720 SE Hawthorne Smoochknob

1305 SE 8th Ave. Black Bars

Berbati’s restaurant

2958 NE Glisan St. Emma Hill, Matt Hopper, Joe McMurrian & Woodbrain

615 SE Alder St. Inner City Blues Festival

Melody Ballroom

The Analog Cafe

White Owl Social Club

2809 NE Sandy Blvd.

Big Back Cloud, Sei Hexe, Dolby Lilack, Jai Milx

laurelThirst

Foggy notion

1800 E Burnside St. The Get Ahead

Lew Soloff, Essiet Essiet, Sylvia Cuenca, Martin Zarzar

836 N Russell St. Stan McMahon Band, Counterfeit Cash, Magnetic Health Factory (9:30 pm); Reverb Brothers (5:30 pm)

Backspace

2025 N Kilpatrick St. RLLRBLL, Koonda Holaa, Mustaphamond

eastBurn

2958 NE Glisan St. Cats Under The Stars, James Low Western Front

White eagle Saloon

Jimmy Mak’s

Katie O’Briens

laurelThirst

3728 NE Sandy Blvd.

The Portland Woodshed Jazz Orchestra

3862 SE Hawthorne Blvd.

Problem, Iamsu 221 NW 10th Ave. Eat Meets West Meets East V: Lew Soloff, Peter Boe, Trio East

203 SE Grand Ave. Rare Monk, the James London Band, the Caste

Tony Starlight’s

225 SW Ash St. Phalgeron, Sarcalogos, Last Bastion, Gorgon Stare

Hawthorne Theatre

east end

CAMERONBROWNE.COM

MUSIC CALENDAR

19 SW 2nd Ave. Mezzi Mez

320 SE 2nd Ave. Mochipet, Zoogma

Bunk Bar

1028 SE Water Ave. The Shivas

Camellia lounge

510 NW 11th Ave. George Colligan, Nicole Glover, Aaron Riehs, Jon Lakey

doug Fir lounge

830 E Burnside St. Just People, Violet Isle, Novosti

UP CYCLE: Admit it, you’re curious: You’ve see drunk tourists in boat shoes rolling around on a weird contraption that looks like a playhouse welded to a bike rack, and you’ve wondered if it’s any fun.

Do Portlanders ride that thing? Where does it go? It looks big—is it hard to pedal? So you book a pair of $26 seats for Saturday morning. You show up at the headquarters for BrewCycle (1323 NW 16th St., 971-400-5950, brewcycleportland.com) just before 11 am.

You pedal over to the first stop, Lucky Lab on Northwest Quimby Street. “Wow, you guys are sober,” says the bartender. “Must be your first stop.” Sipping a pint on the patio on this warm and sunny day, you soon learn you are surrounded by Canadians. They wear designer sunglasses and Patagonia fleece. Two riders have brought small dogs in little mesh suitcases. The sober pilot, who casually steers the lumbering beast as pedalers wheeze, offers the Canadians a stereo cord, allowing them to soundtrack the ride from a phone. They choose a song called “How We Do (Party)” by someone named Rita Ora. The Canadians happily accept advice on where to ride next. Everyone agrees on Deschutes in the Pearl District, and then Rogue, where you are disappointed to find there are not large tables or drink specials set aside for you. The Rogue waitress brings you a sampler tray with the wrong beers and doesn’t check back until you’ve finished them, but makes up for it by bringing you a second tray. You can’t complain. MARTIN CIZMAR.

APRIL 10–16 The Late Now, Ryan Walsh

Ash Street Saloon

225 SW Ash St. Chronicles of Bad Butch, Man X, Town and the Writ

dante’s

350 W Burnside St. Booker T., Charlie Hunter, Carlton Jackson

east end

203 SE Grand Ave. The Organs

Foggy Notion

3416 N Lombard St. ManX, Super Desu, Second Player Score

Ford Food and drink 2505 SE 11th Ave. Tim Roth

hawthorne Theatre

3862 SE Hawthorne Blvd.

Suffocation, Exhumed, Jungle Rot, Rings of Saturn, Admiron, Lord Of War, Assyria

holocene

1001 SE Morrison St. Jaymay, Gregory and the Hawk, Kayoko

ivories Jazz lounge and restaurant 1435 NW Flanders St. Gordy Michael

Jade lounge

2346 SE Ankeny St. Vanesa Sundae

laurelThirst

2958 NE Glisan St. Kris Deelane Band, Freak Mountain Ramblers

Mississippi pizza

3552 N Mississippi Ave. Hungry Hungry Hip Hop (9 pm); Kathryn Claire (6 pm)

Mississippi Studios

3939 N Mississippi Ave. Agalloch, Sutekh Hexen

roseland Theater

8 NW 6th Ave. Bad Religion, the Bronx, Polar Bear Club

rotture

315 SE 3rd Ave. Sorcery, Infinitum Obscure, Torture Rack, Cemetery Lust, Bone Sickness

Slabtown

1033 NW 16th Ave. Kim DeLacy, The Hand That Bleeds, Sue Zalokar, DJ Damsel Distressed, Busy Scissors

Star Theater

13 NW 6th Ave. Bender: Black Bananas, Lamps, the Mallard, Buck Biloxi and the Fucks, Big Eyes, Courtney and the Crushers, Guantanamo Baywatch, Meercaz, Piss Test, the Bad Tats

The Blue Monk

3341 SE Belmont St. Ryan Meagher’s Atroefy

The elixir lab at Al Forno Ferruzza

2738 NE Alberta St. Closely Watched Trains

The lodge Bar and Grill

6605 SE Powell Blvd The Headhunters Jam

Valentine’s

232 SW Ankeny St. New Ocean

Vie de Boheme

1530 SE 7th Ave. Arthur “Fresh Air” Moore Harmonica Party

MoN. April 15 Ash Street Saloon

225 SW Ash St. 89 Dynasty, Sad Face, Pink Slip, The Volt Per Octaves

Bunk Bar

1028 SE Water Ave. Savages

hawthorne Theatre

3862 SE Hawthorne Blvd.

MUSIC CALENDAR

Millionaires, Ashland High, Beneath The Sun, Lancifer

Kells Brewpub

210 NW 21st Ave. Traditional Irish Jam Session

Mt. Tabor Theater

4811 SE Hawthorne Blvd.

Pato Benton and the Now Generation, Oreganic (theater); Megafauna (lounge)

Muddy rudder public house 8105 SE 7th Ave. Alan Hagar

Secret Society lounge 116 NE Russell St. Carlton Jackson/Dave Mills Big Band

Slabtown

Wed. April 10 Andrea’s Cha Cha Club 832 SE Grand Ave. Havana Night!: DJ Albeton

Beech Street parlor

412 NE Beech St. Housecoat: DJ Rhienna

CC Slaughters

219 NW Davis St. Trick with DJ Robb

dig a pony

736 SE Grand Ave. Pretty Ugly

1033 NW 16th Ave. Exquisites, Wild Moth, Lunch, Your Rival

Star Bar

The Know

The lovecraft

2026 NE Alberta St. Condition, Apocalypse Now, Rad Habits, Dödläge

Twilight Café and Bar 1420 SE Powell Blvd.

SIN Night

639 SE Morrison St. DJ Danny Dodge 421 SE Grand Ave. Death Wish Club: Black Medic

Tiga

1465 NE Prescott St. DJ Cooky Parker

Valentine’s

232 SW Ankeny St. The Slidells, Karl and the Jerks, Feel Young

TueS. April 16 Aladdin Theater

3017 SE Milwaukie Ave. Johnny Marr

Alberta rose Theatre

3000 NE Alberta St. April Verch Band, Caleb Klauder Trio

Andina

ThurS. April 11 Berbati’s

231 SW Ankeny St. DJs Def Ro and Suga Shane

Club 21

2035 NE Glisan St. VJ Night Flight

dig a pony

736 SE Grand Ave. Marti

holocene

1314 NW Glisan St. Neftali Rivera

1001 SE Morrison St. I’ve Got A Hole In My Soul: DJ Beyondadoubt

Ash Street Saloon

rotture

225 SW Ash St. Phreak: Electronic Mutations

Backspace

115 NW 5th Ave. Lydian Gray, Here Come Dots, Stop Motion Poetry, The Far Country

dante’s

350 W Burnside St. The Telescopes, LSD and the Search for God, Night Beats

eugenio’s

3584 SE Division St. Classical Revolution PDX

Goodfoot lounge

2845 SE Stark St. Radula (North, Swatkins, Russell, Jackson)

holocene

1001 SE Morrison St. A Tribe Called Red, DJ Anjali and the Incredible Kid

Jimmy Mak’s

315 SE 3rd Ave. Soul Nite

The lovecraft

421 SE Grand Ave. Nightmoves

Tiga

1465 NE Prescott St. DJ Kev It Up

Valentine’s

232 SW Ankeny St. DJ Tobias, Joey Prude

FridAy, Apr. 12 Boxxes

1035 SW Stark St. Decadent 80’s: DJ Non, DJ Jason Wann

Branx

320 SE 2nd Ave. Jai Ho!: Holi Hai

CC Slaughters

219 NW Davis St. Fetish Friday with DJ Jakob Jay

221 NW 10th Ave. The Mel Brown Septet, the Brett McConnell Lovetet

Crystal Ballroom

laurelThirst

2958 NE Glisan St. Jackstraw

736 SE Grand Ave. Hostile Tapeover, Paul Montone

Music Millennium

Foggy Notion

3158 E Burnside St. Nick Jaina

roseland Theater

1332 W Burnside St. 80s Video Dance Attack

dig a pony

3416 N Lombard St. BMP/GRND: DJ Rhienna, DJ Amy Kasio

8 NW 6th Ave. Mimosa, Modestep, DJ Muggs

Goodfoot lounge

Slabtown

Groove Suite

1033 NW 16th Ave. Beats for Benefits: Montgomery Word, Northern Draw, Tough Fuzz, Automatic Thoughts, Studenets, Pelican Ossman

Valentine’s

232 SW Ankeny St. Mojave Bird, Morning Ritual, Montel Spinozza

Wonder Ballroom

128 NE Russell St. The Gaslight Anthem, Matt Mays

2845 SE Stark St. Dj Aquaman’s Soul Stew 440 NW Glisan St. Cock Block: Punisher, Miss Vixen, Anna Langley, LaVonne Love

hawthorne Theatre lounge

1503 SE Cesar E. Chavez Blvd.

DJ Lorax, DJ Bob Ham

holocene

1001 SE Morrison St. Ecstasy: Massacooramaan, The Miracles Club, Beyondadoubt, Spencer D

rotture

315 SE 3rd Ave. Live and Direct: Rev Shines, DJ Nature, Slimkid3, Starchile

The lovecraft

421 SE Grand Ave. SkullfucK: DJ Riff Randell

Tiga

1465 NE Prescott St. DJ “Chains” Crumley

Valentine’s

232 SW Ankeny St. Trust the DJ: Mr. MuMu

SAT. April 13 CC Slaughters

219 NW Davis St. Revolution with DJ Robb

dig a pony

736 SE Grand Ave. Montel Spinoza

Jack london Bar

529 SW 4th Ave. REWIND: DJ Encrypted

Jones

107 NW Couch St. Dev From Above

Mississippi Studios

3939 N Mississippi Ave. MRS: DJ Beyonda, DJ El Camino, Double Duchess, Bloodhound Photo Booth

The lovecraft

421 SE Grand Ave. Musick for Mannequins: Tom Jones and Erica Jones

The Whiskey Bar

31 NW 1st Ave. Lucky Date, Sidestep, Damn Foreigners

Tiga

1465 NE Prescott St. ELMX

Valentine’s

232 SW Ankeny St. Freakathon

SuN. April 14 Berbati’s

231 SW Ankeny St. DJ Linkus EDM

dig a pony

736 SE Grand Ave. The Man in the Black Pajamas

Star Bar

639 SE Morrison St. The Bobcat

MoN. April 15 CC Slaughters

219 NW Davis St. Maniac Monday with DJ Robb

dig a pony

736 SE Grand Ave. TreSlim

Tiga

1465 NE Prescott St. DJ Copy

TueS. April 16 CC Slaughters

219 NW Davis St. Girltopia with DJ Alicious

dig a pony

736 SE Grand Ave. Last Call

eagle portland

835 N Lombard St DMTV with DJ Danimal

Star Bar

639 SE Morrison St. DJ Austin Johnson

The lovecraft

421 SE Grand Ave. TRNGL: DJ Rhienna

Vie de Boheme 1530 SE 7th Ave. Salsa Dancing

Willamette Week APRIL 10, 2013 wweek.com

43

FINDER Willamette Week’s Guide to Portland

Space reservation deadline: June 21 • Call: 503.243.2122 • Email: advertising@wweek.com

44

Willamette Week APRIL 10, 2013 wweek.com

APRIL 10–16

= WW Pick. Highly recommended.

Most prices listed are for advance ticket sales. At-the-door increases and so-called convenience charges may apply, so it’s best to call ahead.

Editor: REBECCA JACOBSON. Theater: REBECCA JACOBSON (rjacobson@ wweek.com). Classical: BRETT CAMPBELL (bcampbell@wweek.com). Dance: AARON SPENCER (dance@wweek.com). TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, submit information at least two weeks in advance to: rjacobson@wweek.com.

THEATER 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea

Tears of Joy Theatre reimagines Jules Vernes’ classic tale with steampunkinspired puppets. Winningstad Theatre, Portland Center for the Performing Arts, 1111 SW Broadway, 248-0557. 7:30 pm Friday, April 12; 11 am and 1 pm Saturdays, April 13 and 20; 1 pm and 3 pm Sundays, April 14 and 21. $17-$21.

Ablaze

Staged! presents local playwright Matthew Zrebski’s a cappella thriller, about a group of teenagers trapped in an abandoned high school. After impressive student productions at Wilson High School in 2011 and at the Fertile Ground festival in 2012, the unusually gripping musical now receives its professional premiere.

Brunish Theatre, 1111 SW Broadway, 800.273.1530. 7:30 pm FridaysSaturdays, 2 pm Sundays through May 5. $30.50, students $20.

The Aliens

Young playwright Annie Baker has already been heaped with awards and accolades, and Portland has also been fond of her vivid, empathetic work—CoHo Productions staged Body Awareness earlier this season, and Artists Repertory Theatre presented Circle Mirror Transformation last year.

Now Third Rail Repertory Theatre gets in on the action with The Aliens, about two thirtysomethings writing a song outside a cafe and the teenage barista charged with ousting them. The CoHo Theater, 2257 NW Raleigh St., 235-1101.

7:30 pm Thursdays-Saturdays, 2 pm Sundays through May 4. $22.24-$41.25.

Anything But Brilliant: A Love Story

A loudly sniffling audience all but drowned out the soundtrack as opening night of Anything but Brilliant: A Love Story wound down. This love story from Lights Up! co-founders, co-stars and life partners Bobby and Tyler Ryan is anything as simple as its title. Post-modern set design, where the bed is vertical and the door horizontal, sets the scene for abrupt shifts in time and place. In one instant, we observe the gay couple enjoying a tropical picnic. In the next, playwright Sam (Bobby Ryan) writhes on the floor in grief over his partner’s death.

Soon after, the roles are reversed, with Tyler Ryan’s Jesse mourning Sam. Guiding both audience and characters through this perplexing web of grief, Jane Fellows plays the schizophrenic role of Noodles, part muse to Sam, part mother to the men, part mystical spirit of the couple’s deceased pet cat. It is a metafictional, metaphysical maze through concepts of grief and gayness. With the exception of one comedic respite, where Sam hilariously embodies Jesse’s mother to enact an ideal coming-out scenario, the play is as mournful as imagining a lover’s death. ENID SPITZ. Theater!

Theatre!, 3430 SE Belmont St. 7:30 pm Thursdays-Saturdays through April 20. $15 Fridays-Saturdays, “pay what you can” Thursdays.

Arabian Nights

Before Arabian Nights begins, performers move about the theater. Clad in harem pants and embroidered vests, they squeeze into black vinyl pews, wrapping an arm around an audience member or exchanging pleasantries. That beginning sets a fittingly informal tone for Mary Zimmerman’s 1994 adaptation of The 1001 Nights, which draws on Arab traditions of oral storytelling that encourage audience participation. Stories of sacrifice, endurance and generosity spiral into ribald tales of sex, greed and flatulence, and under director Philip Cuomo the play becomes a lively and often bawdy ode to the immer-

sive power of storytelling, even if the inconsistent cast stumbles in the more reflective or cerebral moments. With the low-ceilinged black box looking something like a bargain-basement harem—walls draped with gauzy curtains and floor layered with Persian carpets—Arabian Nights begins with the cuckolded king Shahryar (Gilberto Martin Del Campo) wedding, bedding and slaying a fresh virgin each night.

But the clever Scheherezade (Nicole Accuardi) staves off his wrath by telling story after story. As she tells each tale, the large ensemble adopts a string of guises, becoming lovesick merchants, hip-swiveling temptresses, bulgy-eyed kings and, charmingly, an elephant. The cast is most comfortable with comic tomfoolery and lusty pantomime, and the highlight of the first act is a squabble over a magic bag.

Waged between Sam Dinkowitz and Sam DeRoest, it’s a heroic and hilarious game of one-upmanship. But performers struggles to keep their steam with the more plaintive stories of the second act. In the first act, the cast’s exuberance distracts from problematic Orientalist elements—why must all the women be dressed like Jasmine from Aladdin?—but they begin to grind as the play winds on. Still, this is the young company’s first non-Shakespearean foray, and while uneven, it establishes the troupe as a spunky force in Portland’s theater scene.

With a few more rubs of the bottle, who knows what might be released?

REBECCA JACOBSON. Milepost 5, 850 NE 81st Ave., 729-3223. 7 pm Fridays-Sundays through April 28. $10 Fridays-Saturdays, “pay what you can” Sundays.

The Bogeyman

Readers Theatre Repertory presents David Ritchie’s play about parents, children and Napoleon, set on a Scottish golf course. Blackfish Gallery, 420 NW 9th Ave., 971-266-3787. 8 pm Friday-Saturday, April 12-13. $8.

Clybourne Park

Portland audiences got a taste of Bruce Norris’ particular brand of prickliness with last season’s The Pain and the Itch at Third Rail, and now Portland Center Stage presents his 2011 Pulitzer-winning drama. The play, helmed by PCS artistic director Chris Coleman, is set in the same neighborhood as Lorraine Hansberry’s landmark 1959 work, A Raisin in the Sun, and it explores issues of racism and gentrification. The impressive cast includes Sharonlee McLean, Andy Lee Hillstrom and Gavin Hoffman, among others. Gerding Theater, 128 NW 11th Ave., 445-3700. 7:30 pm TuesdaysSundays, 2 pm Sundays and select Saturdays, noon Thursdays through May 5. $39-$65.

The Devil and Billy Markham

Shel Silverstein’s epic verse play, performed here by Jonah Weston, follows a man who plays dice with the devil and then travels to hell, heaven and back again. XV, 15 NW 2nd Ave, 503790-9090. 8 pm Saturday, April 13. $12-$15.

Fool for Love

[NEW REVIEW] Both The Jerry Springer Show and Maury date to 1991, eight years after Sam Shepard’s seminal play Fool for Love was first performed in San Francisco. Shepard, a Pulitzer Prize-winning playwright, anticipated the weirdness, revengetaking and familial drama of those shows, though with more style and humor than both Springer and Maury combined. Asae Dean’s production pulls off the classic nearly flawlessly. Eddie (Arthur Delaney) travels 2,000 miles for an unannounced visit to his former squeeze May (Jenny Newbry Waters), and it’s clear from May’s shrieking accusations that Eddie

has done more than his fair share of cheating and heartbreaking. Both are batshit crazy as they argue. May kisses Eddie for a second and then knees him in the balls. Their passion belies a taboo background neither wants to face, while the Old Man (Brian MacEwan) waits in the wings and delivers lines a bit over-enunciated for the honky-tonk atmosphere. May’s date, Martin (Tommy Harrington), suddenly arrives, and his simpleton responses to Eddie’s provocations are the production’s finest hour. Instead of a tension-melting double suicide, these powerful characters hang their secrets out to dry and stand resolute. MITCH LILLIE. The Back Door Theater, 4319 SE Hawthorne Blvd. 8 pm ThursdaysSaturdays, 2 pm Sundays through April 21. $12.

The Gin Game

From a distance, the excitement level of The Gin Game looks to be a notch below Monday-night bingo.

Two seniors, Weller (Allen Nause) and Fonsia (Vana O’Brien), bitch and bicker over an unending series of gin rummy games on the back porch of a cheap retirement home. They first meet at the opening of D.L. Coburn’s 1976 play, Weller supposedly a card shark while Fonsia is just learning the rules of the game. Their lives appear increasingly desperate over the weekslong series of games, which Fonsia continually and demurely wins. Weller, crotchety and foulmouthed, endures the repeated defeats in hilarious outbursts of “Goddamnit!” Director JoAnn Johnson does not allow her actors to ham up their quirks and faults, so The Gin Game is tragicomic in a Chekhovian way: We cry when they cry, but we laugh when they fall. When Fonsia asks if Weller has any ailments, he bitterly snaps, “I have one of the most advanced cases of old age in the history of medical science.” The line is one of the play’s funniest, but also one of its saddest. Throughout, Weller and Fonsia’s love/hate relationship plays out unexpectedly, and though the ending is downright lugubrious, we laugh all the way there. MITCH LILLIE. Artists Repertory Theatre, 1515 SW Morrison St., 241-1278. 7:30 pm Tuesdays-Sundays, 2 pm Sundays through April 28. $25-$50.

Guapa

Guapa (Michelle Escobar) loves soccer, and it might be her only chance to get out of the hopeless Texan barrio where she lives, naysayers be damned.

These include her adopted family: her motherly, bubbly “aunt” Roly (Sofía May-Cuxim), Roly’s son Lebon (Pablo Saldaña) and Lebon’s cousin and polar opposite Hakim (Tristan Nieto). They all want out, and the big soccer tournament in Dallas is Guapa’s chance until she celebrates a little too hard.

Directed by Olga Sanchez, Guapa isn’t all doom and gloom. “I’m a guapa made of dirt, feathers and fútbol!”

Guapa screams in one of many triumphant monologues. Corny jokes get cracked, mostly about kids texting and using Google to befuddle their crotchety elders. (All the seniors I know these days can Google just fine.)

As Guapa’s adoptive sister Pepi, the glowing Crystal Ann Muñoz coolly transitions from studying for her astrophysics Ph.D. to getting wasted with her siblings. All the while Roly bustles, and May-Cuxim allows just enough hope to mix in with her staunch realism, though hers seems to be the only character deeper than the kiddie pool. After a strong opening, Caridad Svitch’s play dissolves into a live-action telenovela with the dawdling plot of an American soap opera. MITCH LILLIE. Miracle Theatre, 525 SE Stark St., 236-7253. 7:30 pm Thursdays, 8 pm Fridays-Saturdays, 2 pm Sundays through April 13. $17-$30.

A Midsummer Night’s Dream

Hillsboro’s HART Theatre presents the Bard’s perenially popular fairyfilled comedy. HART Theatre, 185 SE Washington St., 693-7815. 7:30 pm Fridays-Saturdays, 2 pm Sundays through April 14. $10-$14.

Mother Teresa is Dead

Trembling and anxious, young mother Jane (Nikki Weaver) tells middle-aged

expat Frances (Gretchen Corbett) that she doesn’t remember coming to India. But she knew she needed to help someone, or do something simple, and that’s what compelled her to leave England, unannounced, to pursue charity work in Madras. Jane, though, isn’t well. Is it a mental health crisis? A crisis of conscience? After hoping to aid others, Jane ends up in need of help when she’s found alone and wailing in a public square. Helen Edmundson’s Mother Teresa Is Dead picks up as Jane’s husband, Mark (Chris Harder), arrives from England to retrieve his wife, and the unfolding drama pulses with fraught emotion but occasionally slips into flat characterization. Slick, British-educated aid worker Srinivas (Luke Bartholomew) is a cad who’s

suave enough to sound well-meaning; Mark espouses racist and paternalistic views without fully realizing it; Frances and Jane are oft-hysterical women subject to masculine manipulations. Edmundson’s play is thorny, and it frustrates in places where it should unsettle. But, as ever from Portland Playhouse, the production is deeply felt: The performers bring vulnerability and nuance to roles that can feel one-dimensional, and Isaac Lamb’s taut direction imbues the action with palpable emotional suspense. REBECCA JACOBSON. Portland Playhouse, 602 NE Prescott St., 488-5822. 7:30 pm Thursdays-Saturdays, 2 pm SaturdaysSundays through April 14. $23-$32.

CONT. on page 46

REVIEW J O DY A k E

PERFORMANCE

so close, so far: Jennifer elkington.

THE POSSESSIONS OF LA BOÎTE (THE REFORMERS) In the program notes for The Possessions of La Boîte, director Charmian Creagle says the show “is an homage to an art form—the letter—and the power it possesses.” It’s an assertion that prompts misgivings. With all the hand-wringing about the decline of meaningful correspondence, it’s far too easy to romanticize the postman and to accord the notes that arrive in stamped envelopes an unwarrantably mystical significance.

Fortunately, the show skirts both schmaltziness and esoteric hoo-ha. It’s the first effort of the Reformers, a new troupe made up of several members of Defunkt Theatre (Creagle and husband, Sean Doran, helped found that company) and other local performers. In The Possessions, the Reformers eschew traditional narrative in favor of fragmentation and repetition of language, movement and sound. They crafted the piece out of hundreds of letters Creagle inherited after her mother’s death, drawing all the dialogue from this correspondence. It opens with Adrienne Flagg, in prim gloves and cat-eye glasses, voicing a mother’s letters. As she speaks with methodical severity about flower arrangements, canned food, appetite-killing pills and the importance of reading, the four other ensemble members pantomime the activities.

A sharp sound—a clacking typewriter, a snapped bedsheet—sometimes interrupts, and illegible epistles are projected onto performers’ torsos.

As the show unfolds, performers move through roles. Jennifer Elkington plays a girl unable to live up to her mother’s demands. Later, the ensemble portrays schoolkids weathering puppy love and rejection.

They pass notes through the audience, giggle over origami fortune-tellers and toss paper airplanes while reciting lines that sting with adolescent anxiety. This bit is far more engaging than the show’s cumbersome midsection, in which the ensemble performs robotic movements while repeating certain lines. Striving for profundity, the dronelike echoes become empty wisps of language. “It makes me terrifically sad that we didn’t make us the priority in life,” Flagg says. “This I believe is your way of keeping score,” Doran repeats. They’re lines about how we relate to one another, but there’s no reason to invest: Other vignettes are grounded in character, but this segment gives the audience little to latch on to.

Punctuated by bits of found video and piercing sound, The Possessions can feel patchy. Where Hand2Mouth’s workshopped projects pulse with frenzied vigor, The Possessions is more contained, though occasionally sleepy. It might not prompt any rapturous letters home, but I’m not returning it to sender either. REBECCA JACOBSON.

My baby, she wrote me a letter.

see it: The Possessions of La Boîte is at Studio 2, 810 SE Belmont St. 8 pm Fridays-Sundays through April 21. $15-$20.

Willamette Week APRIL 10, 2013 wweek.com

45

PERFORMANCE

APRIL 10–16 M AT T S C H N E I D E R

NT Live: People

The series, which presents broadcasts of National Theatre productions, returns with Alan Bennett’s newest play. The mischievous farce finds an aging aristocrat seeking a way to save her crumbling mansion. World Trade Center Theater, 121 SW Salmon St., 235-1101. 1 pm and 5 pm Sunday, April 14 and 2 pm and 7 pm Saturday, April 27. $15-$20.

Lakewood Theatre Company stages Neil Simon’s farce about a posh dinner party that goes haywire when the host shoots himself in the ear. Lakewood Center for the Arts, 368 S State St., Lake Oswego, 635-3901. 7:30 pm Thursdays-Saturdays and 2 pm Sunday through April 14. $27-$30.

CLASSICAL Alicia DiDonato Paulsen and Yoko Greeney

A Small Fire

St. Nicholas

Deep into Conor McPherson’s St. Nicholas, our devilish, graying narrator is engulfed by the irresistible spell of otherworldly figures, swept into their London mansion of dark wood paneling and blood-red carpets. He’s in the home of vampires. But it’s Ted Roisum’s stirring performance that casts the real spell, creating an impeccable theatrical reflection on what it means to be human. This is Roisum’s third time asking a Portland audience what distinguishes critics from vampires. He performed St. Nicholas with CoHo Productions in 1999 and three years later in San Diego. But this revival, directed by Gemma Whelan, is the first full production for fledgling Corrib Theatre, which is on a mission to bring Irish drama to Portland. With nothing but a cocktail table and stool, Roisum’s thunderous voice and claylike facial expressions guide the audience through a sumptuously visual tale. It begins, as in all respectable Irish writing, with a bleak and despairing Dublin populated by writers on the precipice of liquorinduced self-destruction. A theater critic in his late 50s looms perpetually drunk and self-important above his fellow writers. When sudden infatuation with an actress, aptly named Helen, reduces him to an obsessive Romeo, he takes his whiskey bottle and abandons Dublin to woo the long-legged chimera in London. Instead, vampires woo the fallen critic into their patronage.

Like Lucifer’s bellhop, he is entrusted the task of delivering bright young things to nightly feasts at the vampire mansion. Roisum makes it all tangible: the shadows dancing around Helen’s sinewy ankles, the smell of over-ripe fruit in the vampires’ backyard, the beer-tinged irony of a critic’s desire to please. Just like that, Ireland’s black comedy has found a niche in Portland.

ENID SPITZ. Kells, 112 SW 2nd Ave., 389-0579. 7:30 pm Sunday-Tuesday, April 14-16. $15.

Tomorrow!

Action/Adventure presents another devised work from Ashley Hollingshead examining what it means to be young today. After previous productions exploring the past and the present, this newest work asks where today’s young people are headed. If it’s anything like last year’s installment, it’ll be both thoughtful and bouncy, incorporating song, dance and plenty of literary and pop-culture references.

Action/Adventure Theatre, 1050 SE Clinton St. 8 pm Thursdays-Saturdays through April 27. $12-$15.

The Winter’s Tale

Shakespeare wrote 154 sonnets, more than 30 plays and about 10 histories. So it stands to reason that not all of them are gems. The Winter’s Tale feels as if the Bard had an unfinished tragedy, half a comedy and a longing for a bouncy musical number. The result is a little disjointed. The first half

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Weekly Recurring Humor Night

Whitney Streed hosts a weekly comedy showcase, featuring local comics and out-of-towners. Tonic Lounge, 3100 NE Sandy Blvd., 2380543. 9:30 pm every Wednesday. “Pay what you want,” $3-$5 suggested.

Rumors

Clackamas Repertory Theatre presents a staged reading of Adam Bock’s low-key drama (which Portland Center Stage will also mount next season) that centers on a woman who mysteriously loses her senses. Clackamas Community College, Osterman Theatre, 19600 S Molalla Ave., 657-6958 ext.

5351. 3 pm Sunday, April 14. $10.

mean a sequel’s not deserved. JAY HORTON. Funhouse Lounge, 2432 SE 11th Ave., 841-6734. 7:30 pm Thursday, April 4 and 7:30 pm Fridays-Saturdays through April 20. $10-$12.

fool for love features the jealous and paranoid King Leontes (Grant Turner), whose rush to judgment leaves a good portion of the cast dead by the end of the act, including one poor fellow who gets devoured by a bear. The second act goes for laughs with the lighthearted buffoonery of peasant shepherds and a less-than-honest peddler. True love prevails and a miracle is thrown in for good measure. But the cast handles this grab bag of Shakespearean devices admirably, delivering polished and entertaining performances, particularly a heartrending monologue by the besmirched Queen Hermione (Anne Sorce) as she stands trial. Diehard Shakespeare fans should be pleased to catch the infrequently staged production, while non-aficionados may just be perplexed. Is winter coming? PENELOPE BASS. Shoe Box Theater, 2110 SE 10th Ave., 971-2443740. 7:30 pm Thursdays-Saturdays, 2 pm Sundays through April 28. $18-$20.

Urban Tellers Invitational

Fast-paced stories from six tellers.

Hipbone Studio, 1847 E Burnside St., 358-0898. 8 pm Saturday, April 13. $15-$20.

COMEDY & VARIETY The Aces

The talented sketch comics Shelley McLendon and Michael Fetters present a new show titled Going Places. We’re not exactly sure where they’re headed, but with a comedy duo this skilled, we’ll gladly follow. Theater! Theatre!, 3430 SE Belmont St. 8 pm FridaysSaturdays through April 27. $15-$18.

Back to the Table

A new improv show that spins off audience suggestions about family stories and tales of entrapment. Brody Theater, 16 NW Broadway, 224-2227. 8 pm Saturdays through May 4. $8-$10.

Cinched, Stuffed and Stupid

In this series of original sketches, Annie Rimmer, Jayne Stevens and Ashley Barton milk the institution of marriage for all its comedic potential.

Kelly’s Olympian, 426 SW Washington St., 228-3669. 8 pm Friday-Saturday, April 12-13. $5.

Dada Dinnr Theatr

The Dadaist variety show celebrates its one-year anniversary with an evening of offbeat music, interviews and performance, served alongside Andina’s contemporary Peruvian cuisine.

Reservations required. Andina, 1314 NW Glisan St., 228-9535. 6 pm Sunday, April 14. $18 cover, plus $20 minimum.

Diabolical Experiments

Improv jam show featuring Brody performers and other local improvisers.

Brody Theater, 16 NW Broadway, 2242227. 7 pm every Sunday. $5.

Friday Night Fights

Competitive improv, with two teams battling for stage time. Curious Comedy, 5225 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., 477-9477. 10 pm every first and third Friday. $5.

Willamette Week APRIL 10, 2013 wweek.com

Janeane Garofalo

A stand-up set from the consistently sharp-tongued comedian, who’s been skewering conservative politicians and pop culture since the late ’80s.

Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., 288-3895. 8 pm and 10 pm Friday, April 12. $18-$20.

Jon Lovitz

The former Saturday Night Live star, who attracted attention for lambasting Obama last year, takes the Helium mic.

Helium Comedy Club, 1510 SE 9th Ave., 888-643-8669. 7:30 pm and 10 pm Friday-Saturday, April 12-13. $25-$35.

Manos: The Hands of Fate

Capital I Productions may very well have kicked off the local film-to-stage craze when Blitzen Trapper drummer Brian Adrian Koch adapted the phenomenally terrible movie Manos in 2006. Now the show is back, again with Koch; puppets; a live score performed by members of Blitzen Trapper, the Parson Redheads and Viva Voce; and even voice acting by an actress from the original film. Interstate Firehouse Cultural Center, 5340 N Interstate Ave., 306-5217. 8 pm Thursdays-Saturdays; 8 pm Sundays, April 28 and May 5.

Through May 5. $20.

Ruby Rocket, Private Eye

In this benefit, in which proceeds go to providing hot meals for homebound seniors in Northeast Portland, the Oregon Symphony flutist and pianist perform a splendid program of 20thand 21st-century American works by composers including Ned Rorem, Lowell Liebermann, Howard Hanson and more. St. Michael and All Angels Church, 1704 NE 43rd Ave., 284-7141. 6 pm Friday, April 12. $25 donation.

Anand Bhate, Bharat Kamat, Suyog Kundalkar

In this Kalakendra-sponsored concert of Hindustani music, award-winning, young Indian vocal star Bhate is joined by compatriot touring virtuosos on tabla and harmonium. Valley Catholic High School, 4275 SW 148th Ave., Beaverton, 702-6937. 7:30 pm Saturday, April 13. $10-$25.

Cappella Romana

One of the Northwest’s finest choirs made its reputation singing the almost forgotten, starkly beautiful music of Byzantium. But they’re also masters of other less austere styles. This glorious program, directed by Dana Marsh and featuring the sumptuous Easter sounds of Iberian Renaissance composers Francisco Guerrero, Duarte Lobo and especially the magnificent Spanish master Tomás Luis de Victoria, makes a welcome herald of the warmer, sunnier moods of spring.

St. Mary’s Cathedral Parish Center, 1716 NW Davis St., 800 494 8497. 8 pm Friday, April 12. $18-$36.

Jon Kimura Parker

Curious Comedy founder Stacey Hallal presents a solo show about a bachelor-loving, whiskey-drinking detective. A workshop production during January’s Fertile Ground festival was somewhat uneven, but Hallal made up for plotless meandering with spunk, wit and plenty of direct interaction with audience members. Curious Comedy, 5225 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., 477-9477. 8 pm FridaysSaturdays through April 26 (no shows April 19-20). $12-$15.

One of the country’s (and Portland’s) most popular classical pianists gives an all-Russian solo recital featuring the original version of Mussorgsky’s Pictures at an Exhibition, Prokofiev’s third piano sonata, a Rachmaninoff prelude, and—the coup de grace— Parker’s own solo piano arrangement of Stravinsky’s 20th-century-defining ballet score, The Rite of Spring, on its centenary. Lincoln Hall, Portland State University, 1620 SW Park Ave., 2249842. 7:30 pm Wednesday, April 10. $30–$45.

Varsity Cheerleader Werewolves Live From Outer Space

Lara Downes

[NEW REVIEW] Varsity Cheerleader Werewolves Live From Outer Space started out as a movie, with a passably professional trailer starring Daniel Baldwin. That surviving video holds almost no trace of the rollicking charms or improvisatory swagger currently thrilling Funhouse Lounge audiences. By shoehorning a featurelength screenplay into little more than an hour and making the most of an effects budget likely below two digits—laser pointer, Silly String and a moth-eaten cat puppet inventively serving as our cabaret CGI—Steve Coker sidesteps both the deadening rhythms of dated sci-fi pastiche and the high-camp artifice ordinarily infecting modern musical comedy.

With successive blink-and-you’ll-missthem scenes, the continually engaging and mobile performers stick each wry aside and own every cornball bit of exposition. There’s a two-fisted physicality empowering slapstick set pieces and heightening the violent flourish or eroticized assault. Punches connect, stripteases arouse and Bananarama synth riffs impart a genuinely disturbing malevolence. The project couldn’t possibly have achieved such heights as a motion picture, but that doesn’t

The Bay Area-based pianist returns to Portland to play the music of Erich Korngold, the expatriate Austrian composer who fled the Nazis and became one of Hollywood’s most famous film composers. Along with performances of Korngold’s Romantic 1910 Piano Sonata No. 2 (which Downes recorded for her new Exiles Cafe CD), written when the famed prodigy was only 13, the concert includes two more Korngold works that also feature cellist John Hubbard, and a conversation with Portland’s own Katy Korngold Hubbard—the composer’s granddaughter and the cellist’s wife— about her grandfather’s eventful life and career. Reed College, Eliot Hall , 3203 SE Woodstock Blvd., 771-1112. 4 pm Sunday, April 14. $15.

Lisa Marsh

With help from fellow pianists Connie Titterington and Colin Shepard, the PSU piano prof and composer plays an all-American program of music by Gerswhin, Barber and more—including some of her own agreeable works.

Kairos-Milwaukie United Church of Christ, 4790 SE Logus Road, Milwaukie, 654-6770. 2 pm Sunday, April 14.

Donation.

Oregon Mandolin Orchestra, Don Stiernberg Trio

The string ensemble (mandolins, mandolas, mandocellos, mandobass) plays Schubert’s “Unfinished Symphony,” a J.S. Bach “Brandenburg” concerto and jazz and swing arrangements by guest artist and acclaimed Chicagobased jazz mandolinist Stiernberg.

Saturday’s concert is at Alberta Rose Theatre (3000 NE Alberta St.). Walters Cultural Arts Center, 527 E Main St., Hillsboro. 7:30 pm Friday and 7 pm Saturday, April 12-13. $15-$20 Friday, $18-$22 Saturday.

Oregon Symphony, L.A. Guitar Quartet

In a top program of the season, the orchestra joins the Grammy-winning fretboard foursome to perform one of Joaquin Rodrigo’s finest works—not the 20th-century Spanish composer’s ever-popular Concierto de Aranjuez— but another Baroque-influenced work: Rodrigo’s dance-driven, flamencoflecked 1967 Concierto Andaluz. The undercard is merely Stravinsky’s magnificent ballet “Petrushka,” one of the 20th century’s most colorful orchestral compositions, and the concert includes another of the last century’s popular ballet scores, American composer Walter Piston’s 1938 The Incredible Flutist. Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall, 1037 SW Broadway, 228-1353. 7:30 pm Saturday, 2 pm Sunday and 8 pm Monday, April 13-15. $21-$115.

Portland Camerata

The choir and guests sing a wideranging, centuries-spanning program including choral settings of French and Italian Renaissance dance tunes; works by two of the 20th century’s greatest composers, Arvo Pärt and Astor Piazzolla; a “Magnificat” by Baroque English composer Henry Purcell; and modern Latin American music. First Christian Church, 1314 SW Park Ave., 246-4744. 7:30 pm Friday, April 12. $10-$15.

Starlight Symphony Chamber Musicians

Orchestra musicians on winds, horns, cellos and flute play music by Beethoven, Ibert, Reicha and more.

Tualatin Presbyterian Church, 9230 SW Stiletz Drive, Tualatin, 692-4160. 7 pm Saturday, April 13. $8.

DANCE A-Wol Dance Collective

Portland’s hybrid company of dancers and aerialists takes on existentialism in Gridlock, a show about one man’s search for meaning in life. These are the same performers you can see hanging from silks at Portland nightclubs, but this show also contains more inventive forms of aerial apparatus, as well as athletic floor movement.

Set to original music by Bryan Free and Graeme Enkelis, the performers also navigate a custom-designed giant floating grid that covers the stage in its warehouse theater venue. A-WOL Warehouse Theater, 2303 N Randolph St. 8 pm Thursday-Friday, 5 and 8 pm Saturday, April 11-13. $17-$35.

Circa

Not quite the big top and not quite Cirque du Soleil, Australian company Circa combines contemporary dance with circus acrobatics. Seven tightbodied performers balance on one another, sail through the air and tumble across stage, courtesy of White Bird. Traditional circus elements are present: a fanciful hula-hoop routine and a contortionist who appears to dislocate his ribcage, but Circa is more high-brow than a big-top show. It’s more austere, too, to be sure, but the dancers are known to reach out into the crowd with emotion and humor to make the experience more intimate.

Newmark Theatre, 1111 SW Broadway, 245-1600. 7:30 pm WednesdaySunday, April 10-13. $22-$64.

For more Performance listings, visit

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VISUAL ARTS

APRIL 10–16

= WW Pick. Highly recommended.

By RICHARD SPEER. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, submit show information—including opening and closing dates, gallery address and phone number—at least two weeks in advance to: Visual Arts, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Email: rspeer@wweek.com.

2,500 Nights

This poster-art show is a mixed bag.

On one hand, there are plenty of individual posters that prove just how valuable and sophisticated this utilitarian art form can be. On the other hand, when viewed en masse, the posters blend into a heterogeneous blur. Instances of witty graphic design get lost on the salon-style wall, their impact diluted by too many other examples of insipid graphic tropes that make the posters seem disposable.

Through April 30. Backspace, 115 NW 5th Ave., 248-2900.

Joan Waltemath: Latencies

Walking into Joan Waltemath’s show, Latencies, is like walking into an architectural blueprint. With their rigorous perpendicular lines, these abstractions combine rectilinear composition with subtle chromatic juxtapositions: beige against navy, sparkly zinc-black against gray; red against fluorescent lime green. Although the works are of uniform size (all 33.75 inches by 14.5 inches) and similar compositional method, somehow the show as a whole winds up feeling invigorating. Through April 27. Elizabeth Leach Gallery, 417 NW 9th Ave., 224-0521.

Kenneth Josephson: In Retrospect

Octogenarian photographer Kenneth Josephson has chronicled the course of American life and artistic thought for generations. His imagery is diverse: a light bulb hanging in the center of several photographs of light bulbs; a photo of the pyramids of Giza held in front of the Chicago skyline; a car racing underneath a bridge at night, the street lights heightened by multiple exposure. But Josephson’s studies of the body hold the most enduring relevance: an image of a pencil held clinically at a woman’s hips, like a cosmetic surgeon’s scalpel; and a prefab cutout of a breast, held up to an actual breast, as if for the purpose of comparison to an ideal. These images are archetypal and chilling. Through April 27. Charles A. Hartman Fine Art, 134 NW 8th Ave., 287-3886.

Laurel Bustamante: Lost Gardens

Diminutive, inventive and just plain darling, Laurel Bustamante’s acrylicand-gouache paintings on paper lift the viewer into a skyscape of floating islands and multicolored skies.

Trees are growing on the islands, and often they reach toward one another with anthropomorphic branches. The Ashland-based artist’s Lost Gardens series looks like the Cloud City in The Empire Strikes Back, as it might be rendered in a children’s book.

Somehow Bustamante manages to pull this off in a way that charms rather

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than cloys. Through April 27. Augen DeSoto, 716 NW Davis St., 224-8182.

Photography group show

The back-gallery photography show at Blackfish is head and shoulders more interesting than the front gallery’s mixed-media paintings. Among the photo exhibition’s highlights are Tori Bryer’s moody suite of Antarctic glaciers and icebergs and Michael Knutson’s abstract Fiesta series, with its overlapping ovals in green, orange and blue. Less compelling are Rita Alves’ 3-D landscapes. When you put on the 3-D glasses, the prints don’t really even look 3-D—they just look fuzzy, and you take the glasses off quick, sensing a headache coming on. Finally, Paul Missal’s Diana of the Evening diptych certainly features a fetching nude model, but the inclusion of handpainted flowers flanking the figure is hackneyed and chauvinist. Through April 30. Blackfish Gallery, 420 NW 9th Ave., 234-2634.

Ron van Dongen

Ron van Dongen breathes fresh life into the musty genre of the floral still life with an untitled trio of photographs. Taken in Holland, the prints show close-up details of tulips, dramatically selective in their focus and saturated to the point of near-vulgar sensuality. Another piece—Helleborus x hybridus “Odile”—is a study in sinister black petals, punctuated by vanilla-colored stamens. Through April 27. Froelick Gallery, 714 NW Davis St., 222-1142.

Sculpture Garden

In this all-sculpture show, the pieces that stand out most are not by an artist we associate with sculpture, but with painting. Veteran painter David Geiser’s suite of seven pieces, all titled Helmet, climb the wall in an invigoratingly asymmetrical installation. Fashioned out of parchment paper, acrylic paint and other media, they do indeed resemble helmets, but also mushroom caps and oversize baseballs. Geiser coats them in his signature color, a chalky, Yves Kleinlike blue, to gorgeous effect. Through April 27. Butters Gallery, 520 NW Davis St., second floor, 248-9378.

Space Is the Place

Architectural space meets space of the “final frontier” kind in Disjecta’s lively group exhibition, Space Is the Place. Artists Guillermo Gómez-Peña, David Huffman, Wendy Red Star and Saya Woolfalk offer up cheeky paintings, sculptures, costumes and a video installation in the style known as “Afrofuturism.” Basketballs are a recurring motif, stacked in a pyramidal sculpture and used in a geometric abstract painting that’s not quite abstract after all; each of the tiny circles in the com-

Willamette Week APRIL 10, 2013 wweek.com

position, upon close inspection, reveals itself as a miniature depiction of a basketball. The show is wittily co-curated

by Josephine Zarkovich and Elizabeth Spavento. Through April 28. Disjecta, 8371 N Interstate Ave., 286-9449.

Stephen Scott Smith: Seeyouyousee

Stephen Scott Smith worked n Seeyouyousee for 60 days, carving 10,000 pounds of plywood into a fully immersive installation. A sophisticated handler of diverse media, he’s appointing the show not only with sculpture, but also video, closed-circuit television, reflective objects and light effects. He often references nostalgia and personal biography in his work, and while some of his past shows have bordered on the solipsistic, they have

never wanted for sheer visual panache.

Through April 20. Breeze Block Gallery, 323 NW 6th Ave., 318-6228.

The Space Between

Space is all the rage this month: In addition to the space-themed show at Disjecta, Julia Stoops and Meg Peterson mount a two-artist show called The Space Between at PCC. Stoops’ mixed-media works portray quasi-architectural structures and surreal landscapes in which gravity has gone haywire and objects float in midair. Peterson’s paintings of semiabstract stars and nebulae have a gorgeous texturality and subtle chromaticism. Through April 21. North View Gallery at PCC Sylvania, 12000 SW 49th Ave.

Ty Ennis: JKJKJK

Anyone who saw Ty Ennis’ You’ll Love It Here in 2009 isn’t likely to forget that show’s creepy documentation of Spokane serial killer Robert Lee Yates.

Ennis’ new show at Nationale takes a major stylistic turn, with paintings in a lowbrow style depicting still lifes of incongruous objects. Still Life With Weapons, for example, incorporates a zebra-striped cowboy hat, a honeycomb-patterned minimalist painting, a bouquet of flowers, and a porn DVD titled Weapons of Ass Destruction. The self-conscious awkwardness of the rendering gives the show an endearing snarkiness. Through April 28.

Nationale, 811 E Burnside St., Suite 112.

For more Visual Arts listings, visit

REVIEW

PHOTOLUCIDA Showcase pushes photos forward.

Of the many galleries participating in Photolucida, Portland’s monthlong photography showcase, PDX Contemporary Art’s three-person show is the most effective. Elegantly and understatedly, it proves just how ungrounded the fine-art establishment’s fears were back in the 1800s, when the burgeoning practice of photography was considered a threat to painting and drawing.

The artists in PDX’s exhibition demonstrate the ways in which photography has moved beyond literal depiction to conjure visions ripe with abstract, political and symbolic implications. Take Evan La Londe’s untitled series, which shows a progression of seven images that would be the envy of any minimalist painter. From left to right, the prints unfurl a succession of diagonal lines, first as mere suggestions of contour upon a blazing white background, then ever so gradually darkening until, in the final image, the diagonals are barely discernible against a field of inky black. As it turns out, these immaculate abstractions aren’t abstract at all: The lines are actually window blinds photographed at an angle.

With a combination of reserve and virtuosity, La Londe has transubstantiated a quotidian object into an etude on geometry and grayscale.

In the work of Amjad Faur, the photographer integrates Middle-Eastern and European traditions.

Following up on traditional depictions of the prophet Muhammad as enveloped by a golden flame, Faur uses varying techniques to alter representations of iconic classical sculptures. In Athena/Aziz, he covers a bust of the Greek goddess in cellophane; in Golgotha/Ma’alot Dafna, he digitally blacks out the head of a miniature statue; and in Good Eye/Samothrace, he pixelates the

untitled (Blinds) by Evan la londE

shadow of the iconic Winged Victory of Samothrace.

It’s an intriguing cultural and art-historical mix.

Finally, Masao Yamamoto’s Kawa=Flow series turns everyday scenes and objects—roads, flowers, dogs, birds—into the stuff of bittersweet memory. By printing the images in an acid-eaten, selectively overexposed style, he evokes a silent film flying through a rickety projector. Weathered-looking, antiquarian and painterly in effect, the prints are heartbreakingly elegiac. Throughout the exhibition, these artists employ diverse techniques and themes to show just how far photography has come from “mere” depictions of reality. RICHARD SPEER. SEE IT: Photolucida is at PDX Contemporary Art, 925 NW Flanders St., 222-0063. Through April 27.

BOOKS

APRIL 10–16

= WW Pick. Highly recommended.

By PENELOPE BASS. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, submit lecture or reading information at least two weeks in advance to: WORDS, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Email: words@wweek.com. Fax: 243-1115.

Melody Owen (Dream Journals: When I Was Nineteen I Was an Old Man), with Sommer Browning (Presidents & Other Jokes) reading via Skype from Denver. Independent Publishing Resource Center, 1001 SE Division St., Suite 2, 827-0249. 7 pm. Free.

Bridge Poems

From traffic jams and picturesque skylines to the looming thought of just ending it all, bridges are a part of our lives in Portland. Celebrating the iconic structures, eight Oregon poets will read selections of their work from the new collection, Motionless From the Iron Bridge: A Northwest Anthology of Bridge Poems. How many bridge metaphors can you think of? St. Johns Booksellers, 8622 N Lombard St., 283-0032. 7 pm. Free.

Tickets start at $21

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 10

Show save: 503-416-6380 Groups ofThe 10Soft or more

Loggernaut Reading Series

Local lit journal Loggernaut will host a trio of authors for Trip, an installment of its reading series. Sharing their work will be poet Stephanie Lenox (Congress of Strange People), author and essayist Michael Martone (Four for a Quarter) and creativewriting teacher and editor Jay Ponteri (Wedlocked). Ristretto Williams, 3808 N Williams Ave., 2888667. 7:30 pm. $2.

THURSDAY, APRIL 11 Benson High School Reading

Even though their shenanigans often leave you waving your fist on the front lawn, teenagers sometimes have some pretty astute things to say. Encouraging the budding talent of local students, Literary Arts hosts writing programs in Portland-area schools, and the results can be witnessed firsthand as a group of students from Benson High School share their work. Broadway Books, 1714 NE Broadway, 284-1726. 7 pm.

Free.

FRIDAY, APRIL 12 Monica Drake

Local author Monica Drake (Clown Girl) has set her new novel in Portland, focused on a group of friends grappling with the concept of procreation on an overpopulated planet. In The Stud Book, each approaches the concept from a different perspective, from studying animal behavior at the zoo to stripping at local high schools to demonstrate the importance of sex ed.

Drake’s exploration of modern parenthood is entertaining, edgy and oh-so Portland. Powell’s City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., 2284651. 7:30 pm. Free.

SATURDAY, APRIL 13 Voices Behind the Razorwire

Over the course of three years, author Davonna Livingston collected stories from eight women who suffered abuse and are now incarcerated, including her own experiences of abuse as a child. Livingston will read from her new book, Voices Behind the Razorwire, as part of National Child Abuse Awareness Month. In Other Words, 14 NE Killingsworth St., 232-6003. 5-7 pm.

Free.

Book Release Party

Celebrating the release of the first three titles by Future Tense and Scout Books, the IPRC will host readings by locals Aaron Gilbreath (A Secondary Landscape) and

Expounding on the intriguing theme “Jesus Christ You’re Tall,” monthly reading showcase the Soft Show

will feature readings by Arthur Bradford (Esquire, McSweeney’s, Vice), Alexis Smith (Glaciers), Cari Luna (The Revolution of Every Day), Robin Jennings (Stealing Time magazine) and Soft Show hosts Sunny Bleckinger and Jacob Aiello. Each story will be illustrated and projected live by artists Emily Randazzo and Madeleine Flores. The Blue Monk, 3341 SE Belmont St., 5950575. 6:30 pm. $5.

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SUNDAY, APRIL 14 Laura O. Foster

A self-described forensic pedestrian, Laura O. Foster explores and documents city centers and small towns to create urban hiking guides, pointing out the architecture, geology, history and wildlife found along the way. Her revised edition of Portland Hill Walks includes 24 explorations through local parks and neighborhoods. Anyone who purchases a book at the event is invited along on a guided tour to follow. Broadway Books, 1714 NE Broadway, 284-1726.

1 pm. Free.

For more Books listings, visit

S T O R M L ARGE I N

P RE MON I T I O N S Sat, May 4 | 7:30 pm Carlos Kalmar, conductor

& Sun, May 5 | 2 pm • Storm Large, vocals

A brilliant celebration of ten years with Music Director Carlos Kalmar – come hear the transformation! Schubert’s “Unfinished,” Ravel’s “Waltz,” and Storm Large makes her classical debut with the perfect vehicle – Kurt Weill’s Seven Deadly Sins!

• Weill: Seven Deadly Sins (sung in English) Schubert: Symphony No. 8, “Unfinished”

REVIEW

Ravel: La valse Prangcharoen: Phenomenon

PRIDE AND PREJUDICE AND KITTIES As if cat memes haven’t vociferously enough taken over the interwebbed world, they’re digging their claws into classic literature. Pride and Prejudice and Kitties (Skyhorse, $16.95, 195 pages) is “chick lit meets kit lit,” according to Pamela Jane and Deborah Guyol, the Portland writers who reimagined I can haz crumpetz?

Jane Austen’s classic with Mr. Darcy as an all-black shorthair.

What would Austen think of her characters made feline and posed—or photoshopped with varying quality—into Regency settings? Abbreviated chapters accommodate readers with a cat’s attention span, each opening with a kitten-themed rewrite. “Netherfield Park is marked at last,” we begin. And “after catnip tea, Colonel Fitzwilliam reminded Elizabeth of her promise to pounce on the piano.” Snippets of Austen’s original sneak in, punctuated by pictures of kittens in nightcaps or the furry Fitzwilliam with parchment and the caption. This much is true: This is a lot harder than tweeting.

But no one is picking this up because they’re interested in 19th-century British literature. Pride and Prejudice and Kitties is a novelty gift for your knitting-club friend or a coffee-table amusement. After all, animal photos are like catnip or crack, even for bookworms. Maybe especially for bookworms.

Butcher the text though it may, Pride and Prejudice and Kitties is a lighthearted labor of love aimed at pure amusement. Jane and Guyol, who’ve respectively authored children’s books and The Complete Guide to Contract Lawyering, bonded in high school and built a lifelong friendship on quirky literary ideas. It took six years to find a publisher for this “cat-lover’s romp through Jane Austen’s classic,” their first completed project.

The book is more cat than classic, but as fan fiction goes, we’re just glad it’s not Shades of Grey Tabby Cats. Tight-laced lit lackeys may get their haunches up, but everyone else can chuckle over a fat Siberian kitty in tartan and lace. ENID SPITZ. GO: Pamela Jane and Deborah Guyol will appear at Powell’s Books at Cedar Hills Crossing, 3415 SW Cedar Hills Blvd., Beaverton, on Monday, April 15. 7 pm. Free.

Schoenberg: Accompaniment to a Cinematographic Scene

Call: 503-228-1353 Click: OrSymphony.org Come in: 923 SW Washington | 10 am – 6 pm Mon – Fri

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Thursday, May 9 | 7:30 pm

A night of high-voltage Latin jazz! At home in concert halls, jazz clubs and dance venues, Tiempo Libre’s Miami-based members are true heirs to the music of their native Cuba. A hit in the U.S. and abroad, they’re celebrated for their seductive rhythms and sophisticated performances.

Tickets start at $21 while they last!

Groups of 10 or more save: 503-416-6380

Call: 503-228-1353 Click: OrSymphony.org Come in: 923 SW Washington | 10 am – 6 pm Mon – Fri

ARLENE

SCHNITZER

CONCERT

HALL

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Willamette Week APRIL 10, 2013 wweek.com

aPRil 10–16 REVIEW

= WW Pick. Highly recommended.

FOx SEARCHLIGHT

MOVIES

Editor: REBECCA JACOBSON. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, send screening information at least two weeks in advance to Screen, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Email: rjacobson@wweek.com. Fax: 243-1115.

100 Degrees Below Zero

D [ONE NIGHT ONLY, DIRECTOR

ATTENDING] Visit the Clinton Street Theater’s website, and you’ll find this description of 100 Degrees Below Zero: “After freak climate and weather events destroy the world around them, a group of rogue scientists attempt to reverse the deadly new ice age.”

People who read this may incorrectly assume that the 2004 super-disaster flick The Day After Tomorrow was being ironically revived. Most people wouldn’t be entirely wrong, because 100 Degrees Below Zero is a nearly identical disaster movie. Instead of Dennis Quaid, there’s John RhysDavies, who played Gimli the dwarf in the Lord of the Rings films. 100 Degrees will make anyone a backseat editor, as most of the scenes are filled with useless dialogue begging to be cut. It’s not clear whether this is an under-the-top parody or an actually shitty movie. (Portland screenwriter H. Perry Horton will be in attendance at the screening. Maybe we’ll ask him.)

One character karate-kicks a giant falling hailstone, Robert Rodriguez favorite Jeff Fahey stars as a honeymooning dad, and on three separate occasions, characters inexplicably ask to be put on speaker phone. The film was shot on location in Paris and Budapest, but Old World charm can’t hussy up this old hag. The characters themselves best describe my opinions: “I don’t like to engage in hyperbole, but...” begins one. “My God, this is an unimaginable catastrophe,” says another. And finally: “This is like a silly joke.” MITCH LILLIE. Clinton Street Theater. 11 pm Friday, April 12.

Admission

C In one of the funnier moments in Admission, several Princeton admissions officers make notes on a giant chart. On one side are fawning remarks they’ve received from parents whose offspring have just been accepted to the Ivy League. “You’re an angel on earth,” reads one. On the other side are insults from parents of rejected applicants. Admissions officer Portia (Tina Fey) approaches the board with a comment she’s just received. “I hope you get rectal cancer,” she scrawls. Paul Weitz’s lukewarm dramedy, though, prompts neither rapture nor wrath. It takes a subject, the neurotic frenzy of college admissions, that could be played seriously or for laughs, and lands in an erratic middle. Fey is an uptight admissions officer who receives a phone call from a former classmate named John (Paul Rudd), who runs an alternative school where students learn to build sustainable irrigation systems, assist cows in labor and generally fight the man. There she meets Jeremiah (Nat Wolff, in the film’s most sincere performance), a genius autodidact with ghastly grades. When John tells Portia that Jeremiah might be the son she gave up for adoption during college, her life goes into a tailspin.

Fey plays Portia as a neat-freak Liz Lemon. Rudd, while not as endearing as Fey, does his usual deadpan act, but the screenplay is too tepid to generate any real laughs. Sorry, Admission: After review of your application, we have voted to place your name on our waitlist. PG-13. REBECCA JACOBSON. Cedar Hills, Eastport, City Center, Division, Evergreen Parkway, Movies on TV.

Airplane!

[ONE WEEK ONLY, REVIVAL] I am serious, and don’t call me Shirley. PG. Hollywood Theatre.

Beer and Movie Fest: Paths of Glory

[ONE WEEK ONLY, REVIVAL] Movie buff Jacques Boyreau’s festival continues with Stanley Kubrick’s 1957 war drama. Laurelhurst Theater.

The Burning Plain

D+ [ONE NIGHT ONLY, REVIVAL,

DIRECTOR ATTENDING] It’s no mean

feat for a screenwriter to carve out a trademark style. Try naming a writer whose work is instantly recognizable after the words have been transmuted by a director’s vision. Now try doing it without mentioning Charlie Kaufman or David Mamet. So, questions of quality aside, there is something to admire in Guillermo Arriaga’s ability to bully himself into that lower echelon of auteur status reserved for writers.

With Amores Perros, 21 Grams, Babel and The Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada, Arriaga solidified a formula that is, for better or worse (but mostly worse), his own. In 2008, Arriaga directed his own screenplay, and the result was an interminably spiritless ordeal. The Burning Plain stars Charlize Theron as Sylvia, an enervated mess of a woman whose every dour move is surveilled by a scruffy stalker with unknown motives. In what is perhaps Arriaga’s single inspired decision as a filmmaker, this portion of the film was photographed in Portland and Depoe Bay. The cloudy coastal skies and dolorous Portland landmarks (the Palms Motel on North Interstate Avenue, for example) speak more about heartbreak and misery than any word Arriaga puts into Sylvia’s mouth.

There is nothing—not a scrap—in The Burning Plain that sings as cinema.

We are left with the discomfiting, maddening experience of witnessing a filmmaker flip through his deck of melodramatic plot points, hoping something will come of the juxtapositions and dislocations. One can almost hear Arriaga muttering to himself: “Do I have anything here? Let’s maybe move this scene here, that one there, yeah, that’ll do it, that looks like something. Right? Right?” Wrong. R. CHRIS STAMM. NW Film Center’s Whitsell Auditorium. 7:30 pm Tuesday, April 16.

The Call

C- Apparently in a stiff competition with Cuba Gooding Jr. and Adrien Brody to see who can stretch the goodwill of an Oscar win the farthest without snapping it completely, Halle Berry knows no bounds. The Call is beneath an actress of her caliber. It’s pulpy, shticky, slimy, manipulative and bombastic. But here’s the problem: For a while, The Call is a good film.

There’s a sense of real peril that jabs your heart and makes your teeth grind.

Then, just as it brings all its nifty tricks and narrative sucker punches to a climax, it becomes the worst kind of terrible: the predictable, sleazy, torture-porn kind of horrible. Berry plays Jordan, a top-notch Los Angeles 911 operator who’s forced to take a call from an abducted teenager (Little Miss Sunshine’s Abigail Breslin). At the film’s core is a compelling story of using minimal means to save a child. Then logic itself totally leaves the equation, with the film spiraling into standard horror fare when Breslin and her kidnapper arrive at a creepy murder den. In the torture chamber, Brad Anderson’s camera ogles a creepily sexualized Breslin. What’s most frustrating is that Anderson has taken a great—if sloppily executed— potboiler of a premise and boiled it down to the basest, most contrived and idiotic revenge fantasy imaginable. Berry and Breslin, for some reason, give it their all, but it’s almost sad to see such fine performances undercut by a narrative that feels the need to pander to moronic urges.

R. AP KRYZA. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Oak Grove, Division, Evergreen Parkway, Lloyd Mall, Movies on TV.

Crackin’ the Code

[ONE NIGHT ONLY, REVIVAL] A free screening of Portlander Steve Coker’s self-described “dick flick” about a man faced with temptation when his friend’s soon-to-be-ex-wife seduces him. Jack London Bar, 529 SW 4th Ave. 8 pm Thursday, April 11.

CONT. on page 52

SPLITTING ImaGE: Rosario Dawson plays a hypnotherapist in a fractured world.

TRIP AND SLIDE DANNY BOYLE’S TRANCE IS A HEAD TRIP THAT SPINS IN ON ITSELF.

BY ReB ecca jacoB son

rjacobson@wweek.com

As best I can tell, Trance is the first film—outside porn, maybe—to have a plot that hinges on a woman’s pubic hair. Though the Goya painting that goes missing in the art-heist thriller is an image of cannibalistic male witches, the work that actually holds the story’s secrets is a life-size female nude.

That painting, also by Goya, is widely regarded as one of the first clear depictions of pubic hair, and it becomes a dippy device in Trance’s plot of obsession, hypnosis and abuse.

This hirsute twist aside, Danny Boyle’s brashly maximalist film isn’t as novel as it imagines itself to be. It may fancy itself a psychological thrill ride through the art world, but that rarefied arena is little more than a jumping-off point. As is the case with other films of its ilk—it owes an obvious debt to the much darker Inception—the less said about the overstuffed plot the better. But the story line is also so willfully ludicrous that spilling a few details doesn’t hurt. Trance begins with narration from auction-house employee Simon (the boyish yet steely James McAvoy) on how to prevent an art heist. When smooth criminal Franck (Vincent Cassel) busts into the opening sequence, ready to steal the painting, we learn Simon is actually in on the heist. Then Simon is bonked on the head, leading him to forget where he’s stashed the valuable painting and getting him into deep shit with Franck and his thuggish comrades.

From there, Simon enlists the assistance of bombshell hypnotherapist Elizabeth (Rosario Dawson) to recover his memories from the day of the heist, but she winds up in the gang—and in a love triangle with Simon and Franck. A great deal of hypnosis ensues, dreamlike or fractured sequences that twist in on themselves and spiral outward with varying degrees of logic. Fingernails are excruciatingly ripped out, one thug has his balls shot off (can’t limit ourselves to female genitalia, can we?), and a flaming car crashes into the water.

Boyle, who directed Trainspotting and Slumdog

Millionaire, has a knack for panache, but where those two films balanced hallucinatory submersion and frenetic pacing with meaningful character development, Trance gives viewers less of a reason to care about the inhabitants of its DayGlo world.

To some extent, this is to its credit: Characters’ loyalties and motives are slippery, keeping audiences alert. But as the film zips along, there’s a sense Boyle has let style outstrip substance. It’s no accident, for example, that Franck shares living space with a nightclub: With its tilted camerawork, off-kilter reflections and thunderous electronica score, Trance is sometimes like a densely plotted music video.

But as slick as the film can feel, it’s also at times a great deal of fun, thanks largely to the plucky cast. McAvoy recalls one of Raphael’s angels: He’s adorable yet impish, which he punctuates with moments of sadistic glee and burning anguish.

Cassel, who was so dark and dubious as the ballet director in Black Swan, taps into a similar vein

FINGERNAILS ARE ExCRuCIATINGLY RIPPED OuT, ONE THuG HAS HIS BALLS SHOT OFF, AND A FLAMING CAR CRASHES INTO THE WATER. of Gallic moral ambiguity as the brooding gang leader. Dawson rises above the requirements of her role—as the hypnotherapist, she’s saddled with explaining everything—to imbue Elizabeth with a feline eroticism. No matter how insipid her lines (“Do you want to remember, or do you want to forget?”), she purrs her way through them.

Ultimately, though, Boyle’s incessant plot twists and insistence on keeping audiences on their toes means that feet begin to ache. For all the film’s visual gusto, the screenplay is thin, settling on a banal message about self-transformation. We are what we do, Elizabeth informs us, rather than the things that happen to us. As quickly as Trance whooshes by, viewers are left with throbbing ears and mildly dizzy heads, yet little sense of impact.

B- Trance is rated R. It opens Friday at Cedar Hills, Clackamas, Living Room Theaters, Lloyd Center.

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MOVIES

april 10–16

B So here’s the thing: The Croods fails to conjure a complex or logically consistent world. It fails to populate that world with credible characters, or to usher those characters through a series of dramatically satisfying trials. But so what? This is primitive, pre-Pixarian family entertainment at its most rambunctious. Psychedelic, exuberant and dumb, The Croods, written and directed by Chris Sanders and Kirk DeMicco, harks back to a simpler time when so-called “family films,” including animated features from major studios like Warner Bros. and DreamWorks, were permitted— nay, expected—to be willfully incoherent, so long as they served up thrills, spills, zingers, romance and a healthy dose of innocuous schmaltz.

Now, for better or for worse, filmgoers weaned on Pixar and Studio Ghibli have come to expect—nay, demand—sophistication and subtlety, not to mention visual pyrotechnics, from second-tier animated films (Ice Age, Madagascar) that are, at their core, frivolous entertainment created to engage the imaginations of young children. Of course, not every animated feature can be WALL-E; some of them have to be The Croods. In a nutshell: Nic Cage, voicing a knuckle-dragging caveman, cracks wise, pulls faces and delivers zany, half-cooked monologues on death and love and family amid stunning, oversaturated landscapes that evoke both Dr. Seuss and early Tex Avery-era Looney Tunes. Allow me to reiterate: Nic Cage, cavemen, zaniness. That’s all you need to know, that’s pretty much all you’ll get, and that ain’t necessarily a bad thing. pG. MARSHALL WALKER LEE. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Cornelius, Forest, Lake Twin, Lloyd Center, Moreland, Oak Grove, City Center, Division, Evergreen Parkway, Fox Tower, Hilltop, Lloyd Mall, Movies on TV, Sherwood, Wilsonville, Mill Plain.

Django Unchained

B- If nothing else, Quentin

Tarantino’s Django Unchained has audacity going for it. But it raises a question that, ultimately, makes it tough to enjoy: When dredging up the ugliest period of American history for the sake of entertainment, is being cool enough?

Because Django Unchained is exceptionally cool. A mashed-up spaghetti Western and blaxploitation flick, it is the kind of kinetic pastiche job that’s made Tarantino a genre unto himself.

But Django Unchained trivializes an atrocity, and that makes it hard to digest as fun, frivolous popcorn. r. MATTHEW SINGER. Academy, Bagdad, Kennedy, Laurelhurst, Mission, Vancouver, Valley.

Emperor

B- Talk about burying the lead.

Hirohito, the enigmatic Japanese monarch whose endorsement of criminal atrocities during the Second Sino-Japanese War and World War II is now a matter of historical fact, doesn’t actually appear on screen until the final minutes of Peter Webber’s dour period drama. According to Shinto tradition, the emperor is arahitogami, “a living god,” which poses a problem for Allied Commander Douglas MacArthur (Tommy Lee Jones) and Gen. Bonner Fellers (Matthew Fox), the men tasked with investigating Hirohito and bringing Japanese war criminals to justice. “What the hell do you say to a god?” asks MacArthur. More importantly, what happens if you put a deity on trial in a country teetering on the edge of revolution? Unfortunately, Weber can’t stop preaching cross-cultural sensitivity long enough to explore Hirohito’s cult of personality or the emperor’s actual role in implementing military strategy. As Fellers, Fox strikes a note of buried, simmering regret, and Jones is more engaged than usual as MacArthur, but neither actor has enough to do. Dramatic stakes are in short supply until the final act, when a half-cooked subplot involving Fellers’ love affair with a Japanese student is finally abandoned. When the emperor arrives,

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BLENHEIM TV FILMS

The Croods

TRASHED the movie really starts to hum. Too bad the credits are already beginning to roll. pG-13. MARSHALL WALKER LEE. Living Room Theaters.

Evil Dead

C Should there be any doubt, we’re

not speaking about The Evil Dead from 1981. The new movie—on which series godhead Sam Raimi served as producer—is undeniably effective.

But the response it provokes has less to do with traditional notions of fear than with autonomic revulsion from the cavalcade of brutality. Though the central construct is unaltered—twentysomethings travel deep into the woods to spend an evening in a despoiled cabin—the motivating impulse differs. Rather than indulge in a far-flung debauch, these kids want only to help a junkie kick her habit. There’s a delicious sliver of horror to be explored by conflating demonic possession and the throes of heroin addiction. End of the day, Evil Dead smacks of a film made to satisfy a bet, albeit one forced upon the creators by a fan base seemingly unwilling to acknowledge that the diabolical allure wielded by the original incarnation has everything to do with the serendipitous grouping of rarefied talent, and nothing whatsoever to do with the Naturom Demonto or the mythology that would grow up and around the film.

Faced with the patently impossible task of assuaging a marketplace sure to revolt against too similar an approach or too great a break, it’s more than a little impressive that Raimi and Uruguayan director Fede Alvarez have manufactured a cinematic creature that’s both the clear descendant of their dearly departed creation and unaware of its lineage.

It’s impressive, engineering this leviathan, but unbeing The Evil Dead isn’t being alive. Or good. r. JAY HORTON. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Mill Plain, Cornelius, Lloyd Center, Oak Grove, City Center, Division, Evergreen Parkway, Hilltop, Movies on TV, Sherwood, Wilsonville, St. Johns Twin.

The Films of Pierre Étaix

[ONGOING SERIES, REVIVAL] Though not well known in the U.S., Étaix—a director also skilled in comedy and clowning—made films that united physical humor with offbeat and surreal visuals. He made only five features, and over the next two weeks the Northwest Film Center will screen them all. Up first is 1969’s Le Grand Amour (7 pm Friday and Sunday, April 12 and 14), a playful comedy about a man who daydreams incessantly about women. Land of Milk and Honey (5 and 9 pm Saturday, April 13) is a documentary about post-’68 France, and As Long as You’re Healthy (7 pm Saturday and 5 pm Sunday, April 13-14) stars Étaix in a series of four comical vignettes about the stresses of 20th-century life. Each feature will be preceded by one of Étaix’s shorts. NW Film Center’s Whitsell Auditorium. Through April 22.

From Up on Poppy Hill

B- The newest addition to Studio Ghibli’s emporium of wondrous

Japanese animations is a tale of schoolgirl romance, containing all the delight but hardly the depth of Hayao Miyazaki’s Howl’s Moving Castle or Spirited Away. Umi is a Cinderella of sorts, running her family’s coastal boarding house after her sailor father dies and her mother leaves to study in America. Her prince is daredevil activist Shun, who’s set on saving their school’s unkempt “Quartier Latin” student center. Set in a post-WWII Japan ignited by social ferment, the film’s young characters battle authority and discover love to a soundtrack that sounds like Asian Gershwin.

This family affair—Miyazaki worked on the screenplay and his son Goro directed—is dreamlike, endearing and fiercely visual. But scenes of Umi gazing over a misty harbor fall short of the mystical wonder expected from the studio behind Howl’s living, teleporting mansion. pG. ENID SPITZ. Fox Tower.

G.I. Joe: Retaliation

D As “How You Like Me Now?” blares presumptuously over G.I. Joe: Retaliation’s end credits, dejected viewers will be excused for muttering, “I actually liked you a lot better before.” While this sequel/ reboot boasts the same slapdash storytelling and risible dialogue as its predecessor, John M. Chu (Step Up 3D) can’t infuse the material with the same cartoonish energy Stephen Sommers lent 2009’s The Rise of Cobra. Displaying an aversion to outrageousness, this action flick instead traffics in garden-variety ridiculousness. Consequently, minor pleasures are the best it can muster, such as Jonathan Pryce’s mischievous turn as the Cobra terrorist who’s assumed the president’s identity. When he orders an airstrike that reduces the G.I. Joe ranks to Roadblock (Dwayne Johnson) and three others (who share a dozen lines between them), the supposedly international strike force holes up in an abandoned gym and calls on a retiree (Bruce Willis) and his NRA buddies for backup. Given such dreary alternatives, Snake Eyes (Ray Park) understandably defects for a vastly superior subplot featuring ninjas, RZA and cliffhanging melees.

Ultimately, this over-the-top tangent only serves to illustrate just what a joyless slog the actual climax is. A surplus of explosions is no substitute for a few narrative fireworks. pG-13. CURTIS WOLOSCHUK. 99 West Drive-In, Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Mill Plain, Cornelius, Lloyd Center, Oak Grove, City Center, Division, Evergreen Parkway, Hilltop, Lloyd Mall, Movies on TV, Sherwood, Wilsonville.

Ginger & Rosa

B- It’s customary enough for British actors to have to perfect their American accents to break into Hollywood, but it’s rare for an English-made, English-directed film to contain almost no British actors. (In this film, only the estimable Timothy Spall carries the right passport.) Poor Christina Hendricks—Joan from Mad Men— wins the prize for most distracting accent. The young Elle Fanning (the

APRIL 10–16

Great Expectations

[ONE NIGHT ONLY] Charles Dickens’ classic has been adapted for the stage for the first time in London’s West End. Tonight, catch an encore telecast of the lavish opening night. Living Room Theaters. 7 pm Thursday, April 11.

Happy People: A Year in the Taiga

B Werner Herzog’s 2010 documentary takes us to a remote furtrapping village in central Russia, where 300 people live a long helicopter ride from civilization. Divided into segments for each of the four seasons, the film is a pastoral portrait of the villagers working wood into traps with the same tools used for generations. They seem no more or less happy than the subjects of any of Herzog’s earlier documentaries, which are better paced and far better scored than Happy People.

Nevertheless, Herzog’s hilariously poignant monotone, laid over scenes of expansive and desolate beauty, helps redeem the documentary.

MITCH LILLIE. Living Room Theaters.

The Importance of Being Earnest

[ONE NIGHT ONLY, REVIVAL] Anthony Asquith’s 1952 film was the first screen adaptation of Oscar Wilde’s play, hewing closely to the original text. NW Film Center’s Whitsell Auditorium. 7 pm Wednesday, April 10.

The Incredible Burt Wonderstone

D+ Goofy wigs are always a bad omen, especially when they’re the centerpiece of a film. The Incredible Burt Wonderstone seems pitched by a really good wig-maker who thought it would be hysterical to plop ridiculous feathery rugs on Steve Carell and Steve Buscemi, a postgrunge one on Jim Carrey, a scraggly old-man one on Alan Arkin, and an intentionally fake-looking one on Olivia Wilde. Those wigs sure look

funny. Too bad nothing else is. Which is a bloody shame, given the premise of Carell and Buscemi as ultra-corny, velvet-leotarded Vegas magicians who engage in a war of one-upmanship with Carrey’s Chris Angelesque street magician. Alas, the film makes the fatal mistake of insisting on audience investment in an unlikable character’s redemption. Carell’s Wonderstone is just a horrible human being: sexist, racist, rapey, cruel, egomaniacal, crude, selfish and destructive. Yet when his life hits the skids, we’re asked to forget nearly all that came before. Leaps in goodwill could be forgiven if Wonderstone contained some real chuckles. Alas, pretty much everything falls flat after 20 minutes.

This is a film about magicians without a single trick up its sleeve. PG-13. AP KRYZA. Lloyd Mall.

CONT. on page 54

REVIEW JAN THIJS

titular Ginger), on the other hand, is a wonder on every front. At heart, Ginger & Rosa is a deeply melodramatic ’60s coming-of-age girl-buddy flick with a hamfisted nuclear-bomb metaphor and a sociopathic Lothario dad. But the delicacy Fanning brings to her role just plain breaks your heart, even as the lines she’s sometimes asked to deliver do the same.

Wonderful to watch an actress discover such hidden depths in oftenthin material. PG-13. MATTHEW KORFHAGE. Fox Tower.

MOVIES

Häxan: Witchcraft Through the Ages

[ONE NIGHT ONLY, REVIVAL] A 1922 silent horror film about the hysteria of witch-hunts, with an original, darkly carnivalesque score performed live by two bands from Boston: Jaggery, and Walter Sickert and the Army of Broken Toys.

Hollywood Theatre. 8 pm Sunday, April 14.

The Host

Given the supernatural train wreck the Twilight series was, Stephenie Meyers’ next novel-to-film adaptation inspires little confidence. In this fantasy-romance mash-up, an invisible enemy takes over people’s bodies and erases their memories, and it’s up to a young woman to save mankind. Not screened for critics. PG-13. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Cornelius, Oak Grove, City Center, Division, Evergreen Parkway, Hilltop, Lloyd Mall, Movies on TV, Sherwood.

Identity Thief

C- If an awareness of dimming economic realities were to occupy any Hollywood genre, you’d figure the gross-out comedy would be a natural fit. Shouldn’t lowest-common-denominator humor cater to the 99 percent? For the briefest of moments, as an ebullient Melissa McCarthy blithely swindles Jason Bateman’s buttoned-down Denver accounts manager by pretending to be a bank employee offering a credit protection service, there’s a hint of the anarchic zeal that could have lent Identity Thief a distinct personality. Before anyone starts pondering telemarketing fraud as a potential career, though, we’re informed that Bateman’s heroic financial services functionary can barely support his beatific family despite his tireless labor, while McCarthy lavishes her illgotten largess on a four-figure bar tab. McCarthy’s effervescent crassness and Bateman’s mastery of the long-suffering slow burn are as richly combustible as you’d expect, but while the sudden eruptions of frankly brutal slapstick work a treat, it’s a long slog to get there. If we’ve learned anything in the past few years, it’s that there’s no such thing as a comedy too big to fail. R. JAY HORTON. Eastport, Clackamas, Movies on TV, Sherwood.

NOT HIS KIDS: Patrick Huard.

STARBUCK This is the sort of movie that critics were invented to despise: a crowd-pleasing, oafish, wildly implausible pile of sentimental dreck.

But just like its main character, a French-Canadian meat-delivery man named David Wozniak (Patrick Huard, looking a bit like Mel Gibson on steroids and estrogen pills), it’s just too stupid to hate. It’d be like kicking a golden retriever because it licked your face.

Wozniak is an idiot straight out of Dostoevsky: a saintly, muscle-bound naif whose main achievement in life is that he managed to father 533 children after a two-year binge of sperm donation 20 years earlier. He also seems to owe $80,000 to a loan shark, with little consequence beyond serial bathtub waterboarding that ranges in tone from slapstick to serene.

Anyway, 142 of Wozniak’s test-tube children have banded together in a class-action lawsuit to learn his identity. Poor fella, he thinks the kids might be disappointed in him, so he instead fights them in civil court while stalking them creepily and anonymously through the streets of Montreal. One by one, he inseminates the lives of the young with himself: a goofy-grinned, middle-aged dude whose pores appear unnaturally open to the world. He sneaks in on his progeny’s drug overdoses, offers terrible advice, cons his way into hospitals and skulks around uninvited on their dates.

But Wozniak is loved by everyone he meets. He loves everyone he meets. He has no frontal lobe—seemingly nothing beyond a brain stem—and neither does the film. Even as Wozniak’s actions descend into a sort of pouting psychopathy, he and Starbuck maintain the charm of a child who lacks self-control but who nonetheless loves you very much. It is this fundamental inanity that saves the film from what, in more capable hands, would be rank cynicism toward both the characters and its audience.

You won’t have long to wait, though, for just this kind of insincerity. In October, director-writer Ken Scott will remake this film with Vince Vaughn, who will probably bring just enough selfawareness to make the film a disturbing exercise in sociopathy.

But as it stands, when Starbuck ended with the most blatantly pandering scene I’ve witnessed since Free Willy, I didn’t really mind. It’s OK. I know that Scott means well, and that he’s doing the best he can. It’s like a child’s essay about ice cream, and how good it is. Who could hate a thing like that? MATTHEW KORFHAGE. Galactically dumb.

Means well.

B-

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WWE E K

SEE IT: Starbuck is rated R. It opens Friday at Fox Tower.

Willamette Week APRIL 10, 2013 wweek.com

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april 10–16

Jack the Giant Slayer

B Jack and the Beanstalk is one of

the few English folktales Americans know by heart. Combining that G-rated Beanstalk yarn with all the decapitations and anus-stabbing of the true Arthurian legend, Jack the Giant Slayer is a grimy retelling of the children’s tale…in 3-D. The story isn’t particularly important, and the film can’t decide whether it wants to be serious or tongue-in-cheek. No, Jack the Giant Slayer is focused on moving from one epic fantasy scene to another, whether it’s Ewan McGregor shouting, “Tally ho!” as he zip-lines across the beanstalk or a two-headed giant (Bill Nighy) bursting through a tiled floor. And to that end, it’s a great deal of fun. pG-13.

JOHN LOCANTHI. Eastport, Clackamas, Movies on TV.

Jurassic Park 3D

That velociraptor is reaching out to get you…and your wallet. pG-13.

Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Mill Plain, Cornelius, City Center, Division, Evergreen Parkway, Hilltop, Lloyd Mall, Movies on TV, Sherwood, Wilsonville.

Kung Fu Theater: Fighting Fists of Shanghai Joe

[ONE NIGHT ONLY, REVIVAL] A 35 mm print—direct from Quentin Tarantino’s personal collection—of this rarely seen 1973 kung fu-spaghetti Western amalgam, which finds a martial-arts master battling racist bounty hunters and knife-throwing hillbillies. Hollywood Theatre. 7:30 pm Tuesday, April 16.

Life of Pi

C Ang Lee’s Life of Pi surrenders

the more subtle messages of Yann Martel’s novel for ham-handed schlock and slack-jawed awe. pG. REBECCA JACOBSON. CineMagic, Indoor Twin, Fox Tower, Vancouver.

Lincoln

B Steven Spielberg’s stately drama

is shrewd, balanced and impressively restrained. pG-13. REBECCA JACOBSON. Academy, Laurelhurst.

Massacred for Gold

D [ONE NIGHT ONLY] In 1887, 30

Chinese gold miners were murdered by a small group of white men on the Oregon side of Hells Canyon, but the story was lost until a Wallowa County clerk stumbled across forgotten legal evidence a century later. The six men and boys charged with the massacre slid by unconvicted, and Massacred for Gold purports to be a fascinating historical mystery based on R. Gregory Nokes’ nonfiction book of the same name. Unfortunately, filmmakers Jennifer Anderson and Vernon Lott effectively massacre any intrigue.

Their documentary is a series of Ansel Adams-like shots and blurry archival photos with the Ken Burns effect applied. The monotone rumble of Robert Longstreet’s coma-inducing narration provides little respite from long shots set to mournful acoustic folk. Far from its enticing premise and headline, “murder will out,” Massacred for Gold instead prompts sleepy flashbacks to seventh-grade history class.

ENID SPITZ. NW Film Center’s Whitsell Auditorium. 7 pm Thursday, April 11.

Miss Bala

[THREE DAYS ONLY, REVIVAL] A drama from Mexican director Gerardo Naranjo about a beauty queen contestant who winds up in the drug war.

Fifth Avenue Cinema. 7 and 9:30 pm Friday-Saturday, 3 pm Sunday, April 12-14.

Molly’s Theory of Relativity

D It’s Halloween in a small apart-

ment in New York City. An uncompleted agenda painted on the wall lists “anal sex” and “become a major league baseball player.” The ring of the doorbell might mean a trick-ortreater, or a neighbor accompanied by a ghost, or maybe Chet, the potentially imaginary boy who lives next door.

That’s just one hint that the world of Molly’s Theory of Relativity, directed

by Jeff Lipsky (Flannel Pajamas), isn’t grounded in reality. Recently laid off, the titular Molly, a 28-year-old astrophysicist (Sophia Takal), grapples with

54

a choice: move to Norway, where she and her husband, Zack (Takal’s real-life husband, Lawrence Michael Levine), can start over anonymously, or stay in New York to search for work. Some parts are enjoyable, usually the scenes with Daisy Tahan as a trick-or-treater dressed as Albert Einstein, who brings a disarming brightness and charm to her role. But mostly viewers get too much long-winded and stagy discussion that sometimes explores the relationship between parent and child, the state of the economy, and death… and sometimes things like seaweed or farts. Many lines are delivered just a second too late, and many shots linger a few seconds too long, making for an uncomfortable two hours. KAITIE TODD. Living Room Theaters.

No

A During the 1988 election in Chile

that led to the ouster of Augusto Pinochet, TV advertising played as major a role in the political process as traditional campaigning: For 27 days, each side had 15 minutes each night to state its case. No puts this into sharp historical perspective via Rene, a quietly intense ad exec (Gael García Bernal) who brought a soda-commercial flair to the anti-Pinochet TV spots.

Director Pablo Larrain amplifies the tense yet hopeful mood by shooting the movie on era-appropriate video cameras, meshing new footage with original ads and news footage of protests and police actions. r. ROBERT HAM. Cinema 21.

Olympus Has Fallen

C+ Olympus Has Fallen harks back to the late-’80s, early-’90s subgenre known as the “Die Hard on an X” flick, that special brand of knockoff adrenaline rush that includes such escapism as Speed, Passenger 57 and Sudden Death, which all saw one man in the wrong place at the wrong time facing a whole army of terrorists. With Olympus, it’s a literal army that storms the White House, taking the president (Aaron Eckhart) and his cabinet hostage. Luckily, his disgraced former head of security (Gerard Butler) survives the initial onslaught and proceeds to stab, shoot, blow up and maim his way to saving the boss. Director Antoine Fuqua could be called insensitive for depicting iconic American landmarks being torn to shreds by advanced weaponry as a staggering number of civilians are felled on camera. But Olympus Has Fallen doesn’t seem to exist in a post-9/11 world. It’s firmly grounded in the early ’90s, when all we wanted to do was watch sinewy men spit oneliners at menaces from foreign lands before going on killing sprees. In that sense, it delivers the goods, but it never rises above the level of a bigbudget B-movie. It’s Passenger 57 in the White House. Luckily, Passenger 57 is pretty entertaining for a horrible film. r. AP KRYZA. Cedar hills, Clackamas, Mill Plain, Cornelius, Lloyd Center, Bridgeport, City Center, Division, Evergreen Parkway, Movies on TV, Pioneer Place, Sherwood, Tigard, Wilsonville.

On the Road

B+ The journey to create a film

version of Jack Kerouac’s 1957 ode to the Beat Generation has been a treacherous one. How, then, did director Walter Salles and screenwriter Jose Rivera succeed? The two accepted the challenge by embracing the challenges that lay within the text. Rivera hacked away at the sprawling and jagged story, emerging with a streamlined narrative that focuses on the strange, almost erotic attraction between Dean (Garrett Hedlund) and Sal (Sam Riley). The two leads don’t shy away from this, looking at each other with slight twinges of hunger on which they never dare act. More than that, the feeling the cast and crew bring forth is a rare one in movies about young people: a sense of inclusion and possibility. In one scene, a few dozen characters spend New Year’s Eve dancing to Dizzy Gillespie in a small apartment. It’s so far removed from, and so much more inspiring than, the rager of 21 & Over. With On the Road, you don’t need an invitation, just a desire and madness to live. r. ROBERT

Willamette Week APRIL 10, 2013 wweek.com

HAM. Hollywood Theatre, Kiggins, Laurelhurst, Living Room Theaters.

Oz the Great and Powerful

B Watching the spectacle that is

James Franco feels like watching a great con man. Here’s a proven movie star who made an art film re-enacting the Al Pacino leather-daddy sex thriller Cruising. As a tribute to the president, he wrote a rambling poem and performed it in bed. Let’s not even discuss the 2011 Oscars. But damned if the handsome bastard isn’t a charmer.

So it only makes sense to cast Franco as moviedom’s original master con man in Oz the Great and Powerful. In The Wizard of Oz, the “man behind the curtain” was nothing but a carnival magician using smoke and mirrors to maintain the illusion of power. Here, the curtain’s pulled back further to reveal the wizard’s origins as a hack transported from Kansas to Oz, where he must take on an evil witch to save the Munchkins and talking monkeys.

But in the hands of director Sam Raimi, L. Frank Baum’s world comes fantastically to life. One moment, Franco is in a wetland swarmed by cartoonish butterflies. Next, he’s in China Town, made completely of porcelain. But lest this sound too kiddie for the man who directed The Evil Dead, there’s also the matter of the witches (Rachel Weisz, Mila Kunis and Michelle Williams), who muster a few scares worthy of any Deadite. Oz is overlong and often cheesy, but those flaws are also part of the charm of a film that doesn’t try to surpass its predecessor so much as supplement it.

It’s a carnival magician of a film overflowing with imagination, and to those who come ready to believe, its magic is undeniable. pG. AP KRYZA. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Mill Plain, Cornelius, Indoor Twin, Lloyd Center, Oak Grove, City Center, Division, Evergreen Parkway, Hilltop, Movies on TV, Sherwood, Wilsonville.

The Place Beyond the Pines

C+ Among the things that made director Derek Cianfrance’s breakout feature, Blue Valentine, so powerful was its extremely limited scope. With The Place Beyond the Pines, Cianfrance expands this scope, enveloping two families across more than a decade of distress, triumph and tragedy. Yet somewhere along the way, the director loses the heart that marked his previous triumph. The Place Beyond the Pines packs bravura performances across a sprawling narrative. But it’s also about 60 minutes longer than it needs to be, and runs out of gas after its remarkable first act. It’s a film that’s completely overstuffed, and oftentimes overcooked. In the film’s most captivating section, we’re introduced to Luke (Ryan Gosling), a carnival stuntman who discovers he’s sired a son. As he turns to robbing banks, he crosses paths with a rookie cop (Bradley Cooper), who himself comes across massive corruption. Were that not enough, the film then fast-forwards 15 years to peer into the clichéd lives of the pair’s sons. Each segment has a rushed quality, and too little time devoted to developing motivations.

Had Cianfrance given his characters more room to breathe, the film might transcend the genre trappings it falls into so easily. In widening his lens, the director loses focus on the big picture. r. AP KRYZA. Clackamas, Fox Tower.

Portland EcoFilm Festival: Symphony of the Soil

C+ [ONE NIGHT ONLY, DIRECTOR ATTENDING] “Only rarely have we stood back and celebrated our soils as something beautiful, and perhaps even mysterious.” Deborah Koons Garcia’s documentary Symphony of the Soil opens with these words. Given the mystical implications and the fact that the director widely advertises her past marriage to Jerry Garcia, it’s understandable that viewers might brace themselves for earthworm-summoning mantras and tarot-guided planting. In reality, Garcia takes a highly scientific angle, interviewing wild-haired experts to explain soil formation and degradation in Norway, India, Hawaii and the Palouse. Politically, the film targets erosion and global warming, and treats both with objectivity. Symphony of

the Soil is full of intriguing facts and figures—for example, that the U.S. is blessed with an unusually high proportion of top-notch soil—but a symphony this is not. After a few scenes, the film feels like a professor’s backlogged attempt to cover an entire course in one evening’s PowerPoint presentation with vague topical organization. Still, with an impressive score and insightful animation, Symphony of the Soil is worth it for anyone interested in the power of what lies beneath our feet.

MITCH LILLIE. Hollywood Theatre. 7 pm Thursday, April 11.

Quartet

B Quartet, Dustin Hoffman’s twilight directorial debut, takes place in a ridiculously well-appointed retirement home for former classical musicians, and it acts as both valedictory and wake for an entire passing generation of British actors and musicians.

While Hoffman seems very aware he’s gently closing the book on an entire generation of entertainers, he nonetheless allows them to do what they’ve always done best: be entertaining. pG13. MATTHEW KORFHAGE. Lake Twin, Laurelhurst, City Center.

Reconversão

[ONE NIGHT ONLY] A documentary from Thom Andersen about Portuguese architect Eduardo Souto de Moura, winner of the 2011 Pritzker Prize and known for his minimalist buildings that incorporate local materials. NW Film Center’s Whitsell Auditorium. 7 pm Monday, April 15.

Reel Relics: Adjustments

[TWO NIGHTS ONLY] There’s no shortage of archival concert footage out there (think the Dead). Reel Relics’ latest installment features a worthy lineup of synth-pop gods, including

REVIEW D. STEVENS

MOVIES

dodging thE point: Chadwick Boseman as Jackie Robinson.

42 Jackie Robinson is an American legend: The first black player to break Major League Baseball’s color barrier, he shouldered the hopes of a generation, weathering a flurry of abuse to open the gates for future players to partake in America’s pastime.

Brian Helgeland’s Robinson biopic, 42, will also secure a spot in history: history class. This is the kind of shoddy biopic that teachers will keep in the bullpen for sick days, so some hung-over substitute can put it on for a “lesson.” Yet this is neither a good sports movie nor a worthwhile historical film. Its peers aren’t Bull Durham or Eight Men Out. It belongs on a shelf by Sarah, Plain and Tall and other TV movies.

If one were to piece together Robinson’s story based solely on 42 (that was his jersey number), it would read as follows: Jackie Robinson (Chadwick Boseman) was a nice, college-educated man who loved his wife. One day, Brooklyn Dodgers general manager Branch Rickey (Harrison Ford) called him up to the bigs. Robinson inspired little kids. Most white players didn’t like him, spending so much time snarling racial slurs they didn’t realize he was both nice and good at baseball. Then everyone realized he was good at baseball. Then they were friends.

Robinson’s baseball card would probably include more information than 42, and Helgeland does a serious disservice to one of the most important figures in sports history. Robinson’s character is criminally underdeveloped, despite Boseman’s best efforts. Ford, grumbling so Harrison Fordly, is basically reduced to the kind of white-personsolves-racism role that scored Sandra Bullock an Oscar. Everyone else is racist. Until they’re not anymore.

Even the baseball sequences are lazily constructed. The film might be forgiven if it had a truly great sports moment, but most games are reduced to one at-bat or watching Robinson steal bases. Even the final game for the pennant—the most vital element of any baseball flick—is boiled down to a quick duel between Robinson and a bigoted pitcher.

42 isn’t a snapshot of two men who made history by breaking barriers. Hell, Remember the Titans is a more complex, moving portrait of racial tensions in sports, and even that sugar cube managed some solid sports action. 42 is a hackneyed, cookie-cutter film that manages to tell us absolutely nothing about a turning point in American history. But on the bright side, at least it’ll provide endless naps for future history students when their teachers are sick. AP KRYZA. Swing, and a miss.

D+ SEE it: 42 is rated PG-13. It opens Friday at Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Lloyd Center, Lloyd Mall, Bridgeport, Fox Tower, Hilltop.

april 10–16

MOVIES THE WEINSTEIN CO.

Devo, Kraftwerk, Tangerine Dream and Yellow Magic Orchestra in their late-’70s heyday. Though probably not bizarre in its own right, it hints at what the ’80s would become: techsavvy and full of color. Clinton Street Theater. 9:30 pm Friday-Saturday, April 12-13.

Reincarnated

B [ONE NIGHT ONLY] Even if it

irreparably compromised the singability of his first single (what’s my name? Snoop Lionny Liooon), Snoop Dogg’s 2012 reinvention as a scraggly bearded Rastafarian making pop didn’t come out of nowhere.

This point is belabored throughout Reincarnated, a documentary-style promotional self-portrait released in the run-up to the reggae-ish album by the same name due April 23. It’s not just the herb, mon: Snoop tells his audience (and, somewhat awkwardly, Bunny Wailer) that he’s always been spiritually Jamaican.

Holed up in the studio with Diplo, a white former Philadelphia schoolteacher, Snoop is boring. Sniffing flowers in a field of pot, doubly so.

When the conquering lion of Long Beach is embraced by the impoverished masses in Trench Town and Tivoli Gardens, things get more interesting. Snoop’s explanation of the many evolutions that presaged this one is the reason to watch. Who remembers that Snoop actually entered the real-life pimpin’ business a decade ago? A Rolling Stone cover reminds us it was so. “That was more fascination and living out the dream of a kid,” he tells us. “It was a phase. It was a stage that you go through to figure out who you really are.” Moments later, Snoop is praising Minister Farrakhan at a Nation of Islam meeting. Then, he’s taking a sacramental puff at a Rastafarian tent meeting in the jungle. “Your journey is your journey,” Bunny tells Snoop. “Music is our tool, our vessel.”

Seen. MARTIN CIZMAR. Clinton Street Theater. 7 pm Wednesday, April 10.

The Sandlot

[TWO DAYS ONLY, REVIVAL] A 35 mm print of the 1993 classic about kids, baseball and a very mean dog. pG. Hollywood Theatre. 2:30 pm Saturday and 4:30 pm Sunday, April 13-14.

The Sapphires

B+ According to crusty Irish boozer

Dave—played with impeccable comic charm by Chris O’Dowd, Kristen Wiig’s cop boyfriend in Bridesmaids—country-western and soul music are both rooted in loss.

The difference, Dave says, is that while country-western stars whine about it, soul singers fight desperately for redemption. That exuberant sense of resilience takes center stage in first-time filmmaker Wayne Blair’s massively entertaining tale about an Australian Aboriginal girl band that travels to Vietnam to entertain American troops in 1968. Loosely based on a true story (Blair’s mother was a member of the original group), The Sapphires butts up against serious issues, most prominently racial tension and the trauma of war. But between the spirited songs, big-hearted story line and hypersaturated cinematography, this is a film that unapologetically encourages finger-snapping rather than head-scratching—and bless its spangled heart for that. pG-13. REBECCA JACOBSON. Fox Tower.

Scary Movie 5

The franchise rehashes itself, again.

Not screened for critics. pG-13.

Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Mill Plain, Cornelius, Lloyd Center, Oak Grove, City Center, Division, Evergreen Parkway, Hilltop, Movies on TV, Sherwood, Wilsonville.

Side Effects

B- Steven Soderbergh combines the medical horrors of 2011’s middling Contagion with a noir-style narrative about a young woman (Rooney Mara) who commits a horrendous crime while under the influence of a radical new antidepressant. What

THE SAPPHIRES emerges is a nail biter that eventually sacrifices a gorgeous concept for standard mystery beats. r. AP KRYZA. Academy, Laurelhurst.

Silver Linings Playbook

A- With Silver Linings Playbook,

David O. Russell emerges with one of filmdom’s funniest stories of crippling manic depression. If Frank Capra had made an R-rated flick for the Prozac generation, it would look like this. The film follows the social reacclimation of Philly schoolteacher Pat (Bradley Cooper), who is institutionalized after beating his wife’s lover half to death. Pat forms an unlikely relationship with widow Tiffany (Jennifer Lawrence), who doggedly tries to win his affections despite the fact that he’s set on winning back the unwilling wife.

As a family drama, Silver Linings is top tier. As a romance, it’s blissfully unconventional. And as a foulmouthed ode to classic Hollywood, well, Capra would have fucking approved. r. AP KRYZA. CineMagic, City Center, Evergreen Parkway, Fox Tower, Lloyd Mall.

Somebody Up There Likes Me

C+ The strongest motivation any of the characters in Somebody Up There Likes Me seems to have is a hankering for bread sticks. But Lyla’s (Jess Weixler) fondness for those crunchy grissini is about as passionate as writer-director Bob Byington’s film gets. Sure, there’s sex both marital and adulterous, and even one quasi-incestuous coupling, but all the cast members are so scrupulously catatonic it’s a wonder they manage to stay awake. The film follows a young man named Max (Keith Poulson), who trundles through life with neither emotion nor aspiration. There’s a plot, which involves Max working at an upscale steakhouse, marrying Lyla, shtupping the nanny (Stephanie Hunt) and being generally listless with his best friend Sal (Parks & Recreation’s Nick Offerman), but Somebody Up There is propelled less by narrative than by unwavering torpor, which isn’t really much of a driver at all. It has a handful of compelling touches: In just 75 minutes it travels 35 years, thanks to several fast-forward leaps.

But Max doesn’t age, apparently thanks to a baby-blue suitcase that releases a pretty, starry fog. Nicely staged tableaux provide visual amusement in dialogue-free scenes, and Byington’s screenplay contains some amusing bits of wordplay and chatter. “Are you good in bed?” Max asks. “I get about eight hours,” Lyla nods, gnawing on a bread stick.

If only the film weren’t as tonedeaf as the sentiments its characters express. REBECCA JACOBSON. Living Room Theaters.

Spring Breakers

B- The words “spring break” are repeated so often in Spring Breakers that they eventually begin to lose their meaning. That may seem obvious, given the title, but it’s worth pointing out: The phrase takes on a mantralike quality in Harmony Korine’s most outwardly conventional outing to date. Still best known for writing Kids and

directing Gummo, the backwater auteur teams up with a Disneycentric cast led by Selena Gomez and Vanessa Hudgens to turn up the decadence and sleaze to 11 in a candy-coated vision of the American Nightmare. Neon lights, blinged-out cribs and James Franco’s white-trash gangsta rapper Alien make this akin to an arthouse installment of Girls Gone Wild crossed with Scarface—with all the surface allure and occasional vapidity that licentious description implies. The many Skrillex-scored party sequences, though gorgeously filmed, never quite transcend their own vacuousness or offer any insight into the culture they’re at once glamorizing and lampooning.

That said, an utterly sincere rendition of Britney Spears’ “Everytime,” performed by Alien and set to a violent montage, is an early contender for sequence of the year, and nearly enough to forgive the film’s shortcomings. r. MICHAEL NORDINE. Eastport, Lloyd Center, Fox Tower.

Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan

[ONE WEEK ONLY, REVIVAL] Kirk faces off against his genetically engineered nemesis. pG. Hollywood Theatre.

Tattoo Nation

[ONE NIGHT ONLY] A documentary that chronicles the modern history of tattooing, tracing the practice from its shady roots to today. Hollywood Theatre. 7:30 pm Monday, April 15.

Trashed

A [ONE WEEK ONLY] Perched

atop a steaming mountain of animal carcasses, rotting vegetables and a rainbow of plastic waste on the coast of Lebanon, actor-turnedactivist Jeremy Irons still manages to look oddly elegant. Irons, who you might remember as the voice of Mufasa’s evil brother Scar from Disney’s The Lion King, is endlessly charming as he roams through garbage heaps around the globe.

He expresses genuine and contagious alarm in his musical British accent as he explores the polluted rivers of Indonesia, poisonous soil surrounding landfills in England and rubbish-laden expanses in China.

There’s something about his disarming candor, combined with journalist and filmmaker Candida Brady’s sharp narrative built around two years of intensive research, that sets this environmental documentary apart from its preachier counterparts. The film drives home what many people—most Portlanders, at least—already know, but of which they could use some reminding: If we humans don’t start thinking more critically and consciously about where our waste goes, we’re shooting ourselves and our future children in the feet. Around these compost-crazy parts, it may just feel like a pat on the back, but the film’s global distribution could easily be the clear and compelling wake-up call others need to change their habits. EMILY JENSEN. Clinton Street Theater. 7 pm FridayThursday, April 12-18.

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Publishes: April 24, 2013

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Willamette Week APRIL 10, 2013 wweek.com

april 12–18 BREWVIEWS

MOVIES

jan ThijS

FiSTS OF SHaNGHai JOE Tue 07:30 THE SilENT parTNEr Wed 07:30

Regal Fox Tower Stadium 10

BRAINS WITH HEART: “Don’t be creepy, don’t be creepy, don’t be creepy,” the lovesick zombie in Warm Bodies begs himself as he stares, slack-jawed, at the very blond, very alive object of his affection. He’s your average twentysomething zombie. He’s conflicted about all the killing, but considering his only way to reconnect to the world is to download human memories by devouring brains, he’ll take it. That is, until he locks eyes with shotgun-wielding Julie (Teresa Palmer) and falls head over undead heels in love. Jonathan Levine’s goofy wisp of a film is a charming lurch through zombieland that bypasses the usual head shots to aim at the heart—and scores a surprisingly direct hit. It helps that Nicholas Hoult is the world’s cutest corpse: all mussed hair, starburst eyes and deep-shadowed lids…and a little mouth slime. After saving Julie from his “friends,” he courts her with canned fruit cocktail and Coronas. Men do a lot of strange things for a date, but this is the only case (so far) of a dude eating a girl’s boyfriend’s brain in order to get to know her better. The CGI effects are laughable, and it takes a while to adjust to the willfully cheeseball tone. But once it clicks, it’s irresistible. In this world, all you need is love. And sometimes a shotgun. KELLY CLARKE. Playing at: Laurelhurst, Academy. Best paired with: Ninkasi Sterling Pilsner. Also showing: Airplane! (Hollywood).

Moreland Theatre

6712 SE Milwaukie Ave., 503-236-5257 THE CrOODS Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 05:30, 07:40

Lloyd Center 10 and IMAX

1510 NE Multnomah St., 800-326-3264 JUraSSiC parK: aN iMaX 3D EXpEriENCE Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 01:00, 04:00, 07:00, 10:00 SCarY MOViE 5 Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:25, 02:40, 05:05, 07:25, 09:45 42 Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-TueWed 12:40, 03:55, 07:10, 10:20 TraNCE Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:10, 02:45, 05:20, 07:55, 10:30 EVil DEaD Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 11:55, 02:25, 04:55, 07:30, 09:55 G.i.

JOE: rETaliaTiON FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:50, 09:40 G.i. JOE: rETaliaTiON 3D Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 03:50, 06:50 OlYMpUS HaS FallEN Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 12:30, 03:40, 07:15, 10:05 THE CrOODS Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 02:20, 04:50, 10:10 THE CrOODS 3D Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:50, 07:40 SpriNG BrEaKErS Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:00, 02:35, 05:00, 07:45, 10:15 OZ THE GrEaT aND pOWErFUl Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 03:30, 09:50 OZ THE GrEaT aND pOWErFUl 3D Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:15, 06:40

Bagdad Theater and Pub

3702 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 503-249-7474 THE iMpOSSiBlE FriSat-Mon-Tue-Wed 06:00 DJaNGO UNCHaiNED Sat-Mon-Tue-Wed 08:45 ESCapE FrOM plaNET EarTH Sat 02:00

Cinema 21

616 NW 21st Ave., 503-223-4515 NO Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-TueWed 04:00, 07:00, 09:20

Clinton Street Theater

2522 SE Clinton St., 503-238-8899 TraSHED Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 07:00 rEEl rEliCS: aDJUSTMENTS FriSat 09:30 100 DEGrEES BElOW ZErO Fri 11:00 THE rOCKY HOrrOr piCTUrE SHOW Sat 12:00 BirTH STOrY: iNa MaY GaSKiN aND THE FarM MiDWiVES Sun 02:00 pOrTlaND STEW Wed 06:00

Laurelhurst Theatre & Pub

2735 E Burnside St., 503-232-5511 paTHS OF GlOrY FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 07:15 SiDE EFFECTS FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 09:30 SEarCHiNG FOr SUGar MaN Fri-Sat-Sun 04:10 liNCOlN Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 06:45 WarM BODiES Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 09:45 arGO Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 06:30 DJaNGO UNCHaiNED Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 09:00 QUarTET Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 07:00 ON THE rOaD Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 09:15

Mission Theater and Pub

1624 NW Glisan St., 503-249-7474-5 WarM BODiES Fri-SatSun-Mon 05:30 DJaNGO UNCHaiNED Fri-Sat-Mon 07:45

St. Johns Twin Cinemas and Pub

8704 N Lombard St., 503-286-1768 EVil DEaD Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 05:55, 08:20 42 Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-TueWed 05:15, 07:55

CineMagic Theatre

2021 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 503-231-7919 liFE OF pi Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 05:00, 07:25 SilVEr liNiNGS plaYBOOK Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 09:45

Kennedy School Theater

5736 NE 33rd Ave., 503-249-7474-4 ESCapE FrOM plaNET EarTH Fri-Sat-SunMon-Wed 05:30 WarM BODiES Fri-Sat-Sun-MonWed 07:30 DJaNGO UNCHaiNED Fri-SatSun-Mon-Wed 09:35 parENTal GUiDaNCE SatSun-Wed 02:30

Fifth Avenue Cinemas

510 SW Hall St., 503-725-3551 MiSS Bala Fri-Sat-Sun 03:00

Hollywood Theatre

4122 NE Sandy Blvd., 503-281-4215 airplaNE! Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 07:20 STar TrEK ii: THE WraTH OF KHaN Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 09:15 ON THE rOaD Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 07:10, 09:30 aNDErSEN & FiSHEr rETrOSpECTiVE Fri-Sat 07:00 THE SaNDlOT SatSun 02:30 HaXaN Sun 08:00 TaTTOO NaTiON Mon 07:30 THE FiGHTiNG

846 SW Park Ave., 800-326-3264 42 Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-TueWed 11:50, 01:30, 02:00, 04:00, 04:45, 07:15, 07:55, 09:25 THE plaCE BEYOND THE piNES FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:45, 01:45, 02:30, 04:15, 05:00, 07:00, 07:45, 09:30 THE SappHirES Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:35, 02:45, 05:30, 07:30, 09:40 STarBUCK Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:00, 02:15, 04:40, 07:10, 09:40 FrOM Up ON pOppY Hill Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:30, 01:50, 02:35, 04:50, 07:20, 09:35 THE CrOODS Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 02:20, 04:35, 07:20, 09:30 GiNGEr & rOSa Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:00 SpriNG BrEaKErS Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 04:55, 09:55 liFE OF pi Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:35, 07:00 SilVEr liNiNGS plaYBOOK Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 11:40, 02:10, 04:45, 07:05, 09:50

WWEEKdotCOM WWEEKdotCOM

NW Film Center’s Whitsell Auditorium

1219 SW Park Ave., 503-221-1156 lE GraND aMOUr Fri-Sun 07:00 laND OF MilK aND HONEY Sat 05:00, 09:00 aS lONG aS YOU’rE HEalTHY Sat-Sun 05:00

St. Johns Theatre

8203 N Ivanhoe St., 503-249-7474-6 ESCapE FrOM plaNET EarTH Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 06:30 21 aND OVEr Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 01:00, 08:45

Academy Theater

7818 SE Stark St., 503-252-0500 ESCapE FrOM plaNET EarTH Fri-Sat-Sun 11:50 arGO Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 02:00, 07:00 WarM BODiES Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 04:50, 09:30 liNCOlN Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 03:15 lES MiSÉraBlES Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 06:15 DJaNGO UNCHaiNED Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 09:20 THE HOBBiT: aN UNEXpECTED JOUrNEY Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 04:05 SiDE EFFECTS FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 01:45, 07:25 a GOOD DaY TO DiE HarD Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 09:40 WalMarT: THE HiGH COST OF lOW priCE Sun 02:00

Living Room Theaters

341 SW 10th Ave., 971-222-2010 EMpErOr Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 12:15, 05:30, 09:20 HappY pEOplE: a YEar iN THE TaiGa FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 02:40, 07:45 MOllY’S THEOrY OF rElaTiViTY Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:50, 02:00, 05:00, 07:15, 09:30 SOMEBODY Up THErE liKES ME Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:20, 02:10, 04:45, 07:00, 09:50 ON THE rOaD Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:05, 02:30, 04:15, 06:40, 09:00 TraNCE Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 12:00, 12:30, 02:20, 02:50, 04:30, 05:15, 06:50, 07:30, 09:15, 09:45

SubjecT To change. call TheaTerS or ViSiT WWeek.coM/MoVieTiMeS For The MoST up-TodaTe inForMaTion Friday-ThurSday, april 12-18, unleSS oTherWiSe indicaTed

Willamette Week APRIL 10, 2013 wweek.com

57

Circus, music and performance!

Jun�

23-28 FOR YOUTH 12-18

th� YEA Camp is a leadership summer camp for teens aged 12-17 who care about community service, activism, and social justice.

July 27th-August 3rd, 2013 Turning passion into action for a better world.

www.yeacamp.org

Friends of Tryon Creek’s

Summer Nature Day Camp

arts project

With

WITH PARENT MEMBERS OR GUARDIAN OF THE MARCH FOURTH MARCHING BAND

JOYNOWPROJECT.ORG

Please Visit Our Website For More Information On Our Exciting Summer Offerings

EXPLORE THE STAGE WITH US

at Tryon Creek State Natural Area

Spend the summer exploring, experimenting and making new friends at Tryon Creek.

Half Day Camps For PreK - 1 Grades st

Full Day Camps For 1st - 5th Grades

Adventure Camps Featuring 1 or 2 Nights Camping For 5th - 7th Grades

Fairy Tale Camps CBA Dance Company Intensives Classes FEATURING:

We also have Scholarship Opportunities and Extended Care

• Exceptional instructors • Convenient locations • Full and partial day classes for all ages and experience levels • Acting for Stage, Musical Theater, Acting for Film and Television, Improv and Comedy, Young Actor’s Camps, Teen Intensives, and more

www.tryonfriends.org

SEE SCHEDULE ONLINE

a cooperative group in partnership with

w w w. o c t c . o r g · 5 0 3 - 2 2 8 - 9 5 7 1

503.890.6101 www.classicalballet.net

For ad placement contact: Ashlee Horton • 503-445-3647 • ahorton@wweek.com or Corin Kuppler • 503-445-2757 • ckuppler@wweek.com 58

WillametteWeek Classifieds APRIL 10, 2013 wweek.com

Want a perfect balance of Spanish, yoga, & art, for your child this summer?

Maestra Sarita’s Summer Camp!

ART DAY CAMPS

smARTworks Art Camp!

503-270-9721 • srtasarita@gmail.com Sarah Clark is a licensed and experienced Spanish Immersion teacher for Portland Public Schools and a certified and insured Yoga Calm® instructor.

Camp is located in the Sellwood neighborhood.

Jordan Schnitzer Family Art Adventures

May 1st $225 • after May 1st $250 ★ $50 family discount ★ $50 deposit ★ $75 supply fee

Sessions: Monday-Thursday 8:45 am - 2:30 pm • Session 1: July 8th to 11th • Session 2: July 15th to 18th • Session 3: August 19th to 22nd

GRADES 1-8

1 week sessions begin July 8

Ages 4 –13

A typical day at Sarita’s Summer Camp includes: ★ 45-60 min. Spanish oral language & reading practice ★ 60-90 min. Yoga & social/emotional skill-building games ★ Organic, healthy lunch & snack

★ Environmentally friendly art project ★ Outside playtime ★ Field trips, music, dance, & more!

Applications due:

www.facebook.com/MaestraSaritasSummerCamp2013

April 29 503.821.8967 pnca.edu/smartworks

ocac.edu/register

8245 SW Barnes Road | Portland OR | 503.297.5544

WillametteWeek.indd 1

3/26/13 2:24 PM

artistic directors jamey hampton + ashley roland

21st Year Anniversary

Classes in music, theater, dance and visual arts on the stages of the Portland Center for Performing Arts for ages 7-12.

July 8-12 & 15-19, Monday–Friday 9am – 4pm $200 for one week or $310 for 2 weeks if you register by May 17th, 2013

CLASSIFIEDS DIRECTORY 59

SERVICES

60 WELLNESS

60 JOBS

61

JONESIN’

62

62

TO PLACE AN AD CONTACT:

FREE WILL ASTROLOGY

ASHLEE HORTON

AUDIO SE

Inner Sound

HOME COMPUTER REPAIR

1416 SE Morrison Street Portland, Oregon 97214 503-238-1955 www.inner-sound.com

MORE ADS ONLINE @ WWEEK.COM

MUSICIANS’ MARKET

503-445-3647 • ahorton@wweek.com

SERVICE DIRECTORY

Metro Computerworks N

2256 N Albina Ave #181 503-289-1986 metrocomputerworks.com

60 BULLETIN BOARD CORIN KUPPLER

REMODELING & REPAIR SE Tricks of the Trades

62 REAL ESTATE

APRIL 10, 2013

60 MOTOR

61

MATCHMAKER

62

62

PETS

STUFF

503-445-2757 • ckuppler@wweek.com

SERVICES

CLEANING

REMODELING

BUILDING/REMODELING

503.522.6425 www.remodelingpdx.com

HOME IMPROVEMENT SW Jill Of All Trades 6905 SW 35th Ave. Portland, Oregon 97219 503-244-0753

TREE SERVICE NE Steve Greenberg Tree Service 1925 NE 61st Ave. Portland, Oregon 97213 503-774-4103

LAWN SERVICES Bernhard’s

Residential, Commercial and Rentals.

Complete yard care, 20 years.

503-515-9803. Licensed and Insured.

TREE SERVICES Steve Greenberg Tree Service

Pruning and removals, stump grinding.

24-hour emergency service. Licensed/ Insured. CCB#67024. Free estimates.

503-284-2077

MORE CLASSIFIEDS ONLINE @ WWEEK.COM WillametteWeek Classifieds APRIL 10, 2013 wweek.com

59

TO PLACE AN AD CONTACT:

WELLNESS COUNSELING

ASHLEE HORTON

503-445-3647 • ahorton@wweek.com

MASSAGE (LICENSED) Enjoy the Benefits of Massage

Massage openings in the Mt. Tabor area.

Call Jerry for info. 503-757-7295.

LMT6111.

CORIN KUPPLER

JOBS CAREER TRAINING AIRLINE CAREERS

REL A X!

INDULGE YOURSELF in an - AWESOME FULL BODY MASSAGE

call

Charles

503-740-5120

lmt#6250

Become an Aviation Maintenance Tech.

FAA approved training. Financial aid if qualified - Housing available. Job placement assistance. CALL Aviation Institute of Maintenance 877-492-3059 (AAN CAN)

ATTEND COLLEGE ONLINE

from home. *Medical, *Business, *Criminal Justice, *Hospitality. Job placement assistance. Computer available. Financial Aid if qualified.

SCHEV authorized. Call 800-481-9472 www.CenturaOnline.com (AAN CAN)

STOP THE PRESSES!!!

OLCC’S NEWEST ONLINE SERVER PERMIT CLASS is NOW Just $12 for the Renewal Server Class. (Seasoned Pro’s) and STILL only $15 for the Initial Server Class. (First Timers) Take Your Class @ www.happyhourtraining.com where we are always ‘Bartender Tested & OLCC Approved!’

541-447-6384.

Totally Relaxing Massage

Featuring Swedish, deep tissue and sports techniques by a male therapist. Conveniently located, affordable, and preferring male clientele at this time. #5968 By appointment Tim 503.575.0356

The Think And Grow Rich of the 21st Century! Revolutionary breakthrough for success being released! For a FREE CD, please call 1-800-385-8470 (AAN CAN)

NEED VIAGRA?

Stop paying outrageous prices! Best prices... VIAGRA 100MG, 40 pills+/4 free, only $99.00. Discreet shipping, Call Power Pill. 1-800-374-2619 (AAN CAN)

Stephen Shostek, CET Relationships, Life Transitions, Personal Growth

PHYSICAL FITNESS BILL PEC

Affordable Rates • No-cost Initial Consult www.stephenshostek.com

Personal Trainer & Independent Contractor

Gambling Too Much?

• Strength Training • Body Shaping • Nutrition Counseling

503-963-8600

Free, confidential help is available statewide.

Call 1-877-MY-LIMIT to talk to a certified counselor 24/7 or visit 1877mylimit.org to chat live with a counselor.

We are not here to judge.

We are here to help.

You can get your life back.

AT THE GYM, OR IN YOUR HOME

503-252-6035 www.billpecfitness.com LOOK FOR ME ON FACEBOOK

ALTERNATIVE MEDICINE

$$$HELP WANTED$$$ Extra Income! Assembling CD cases from Home! No Experience Necessary! Call our Live Operators Now! 1-800-405-7619 EXT 2450 http://www.easywork-greatpay.com (AAN CAN)

McMenamins Edgefield Is hiring line cooks, pizza cooks, prep cooks and catering cooks for the Power Station Pub and Black Rabbit Restaurant.

Prev high vol rest kitchen exp a MUST. Must have an open & flex sched; days, eves, wknds and holidays. Please apply online 24/7 at www.mcmenamins.com or pick up a paper app at any McMenamins.

Mail to 2126 SW Halsey, Troutdale, OR 97060 or fax: 503-667-3612. Call 503-952-0598 for info on other ways to apply. Please no calls or emails. E.O.E.

McMenamins Edgefield Is now hiring Servers for the Power Station Pub! This is a pt-ft, seas position.

Qualified apps must have an open & flex sched including, days, eves, wknds and holidays. We are looking for servers who have high vol. serve exp and enjoy a busy customer service-oriented enviro. Please apply online 24/7 at www.mcmenamins. com or pick up a paper app at any McMenamins location. Mail to 2126 SW Halsey, Troutdale, OR 97060 or fax: 503-667-3612. Call 503-952-0598 for info on other ways to apply. Please no phone calls or emails to individ locs! E.O.E.

MCMENAMINS GRAND LODGE

GENERAL

MEN’S HEALTH

Counseling Individuals, Couples and Groups

503-445-2757 • ckuppler@wweek.com

www.ExtrasOnly.com 503.227.1098 Help Wanted!

Make extra money in our free ever popular homemailer program, includes valuable guidebook! Start Immediately!

Genuine! 1-888-292-1120 www.easywork-fromhome.com (AAN CAN)

EMPLOYMENT OPPORTUNITIES Gardening, Landscaping, Metal work, Construction. Live-in Work-exchange at Retreat Center, California. Clean wholesome lifestyle, spiritual inquiry, vegetarian. Includes monthly pocket-money.

Min. age 23. Sorry, no pets or children.

510-981-1987 website: volunteer.odiyan.org (AAN CAN)

OMMP Resource Center Providing Safe Access to Medicine Valid MMJ Card Holders Only No Membership Dues or Door Fees

“Simply the Best Meds” www.rosecitywellnesscenter.com

Located in Forest Grove, is now hiring for Line Cooks, Pub Servers, Catering Servers, and so much more! Qualified apps must have a willingness to learn and enjoy working in a busy customer serviceoriented enviro, an open & flex sched including, days, eves, wknds and holidays.

Prev exp is always appreciated, but we are willing to train! Come by the the GRAND LODGE on WEDS, APRIL 24th to apply in person from 11am to 2pm for all our open positions. We have seasonal and long term opportunities. Looking for a career in the hospitality industry? We offer opps for growth and great benefits.

Please apply online 24/7 at www.mcmenamins.com or pick up a paper app at any McMenamins location.

Mail to 430 N. Killingsworth, Portland OR, 97217 or fax: 503-221-8749. Call 503-952-0598 for info on other ways to apply. Please no phone calls or emails to individ locs!

E.O.E.

MCMENAMINS HOTEL OREGON Located in McMinville, is now hiring for Line Cooks, Servers, Dishwashers and Food Runners! Qualified apps must have a willingness to learn and enjoy working in a busy customer service-oriented enviro, an open & flex sched including, days, eves, wknds and holidays. Prev exp is always appreciated, but we are willing to train!

Come by the Hotel Oregon on WEDS, APRIL 17th to apply in person from 11am to 2pm for all our open positions.

We have seasonal and long term opportunities. Looking for a career in the hospitality industry? We offer opps for growth and great benefits. You can also apply online 24/7 at www.mcmenamins. com or pick up a paper app at any McMenamins location. Mail to 430 N. Killingsworth, Portland OR, 97217 or fax: 503-221-8749. Call 503-952-0598 for info on other ways to apply. Please no phone calls or emails to individ locs! E.O.E. Paid In Advanced! MAKE up to $1000 A WEEK mailing brochures from home!

Helping Home Workers since 2001! Genuine Opportunity! No Experience required.

Start Immediately! www.thehomemailer. com (AAN CAN)

BULLETIN BOARD WILLAMETTE WEEK’S GATHERING PLACE NON-PROFIT DISCOUNTS AVAILABLE.

ADOPTION *ADOPTION:*

Active Executive & Future Stay-Home Mom, Unconditional LOVE awaits miracle 1st baby. Expenses paid 1-888-919-1604 *Steve&Norma* PREGNANT? CONSIDERING ADOPTION? Talk with caring agency specializing in matching Birthmothers with Families Nationwide.

LIVING EXPENSES PAID. Call 24/7 Abby’s One True Gift Adoptions.

866-413-6293 (AAN CAN)

CLASSES

OPEN HOUSE Saturday, April 13, 2013 1:00pm - 4:00pm Come see our specially prepared environments for children. Take a tour of our facility, view lessons with Montessori materials and see videos to learn more about Montessori education for all age groups.

Montessori Institute Northwest 622 SE Grand Avenue Portland, OR 97214 503.963.8992 www.montessori-nw.org

EVENTS

Presents

A vocal concert

in association with the Oregon Marathi Mandal Featuring - Anand Bhate

‘A Hindustani Vocal Music Concert’ (Disciple of Pt. Bhimsen Joshi)

with Bharat Kamat on Tabla & Suyog Kundalkar on Harmonium

Theory Performance. All levels. Portland 503-227-6557.

MISCELLANEOUS 4TH PSALMS

Hear me when I call [Pray], Oh GOD of My Righteousness; For You have enlarged [expanded] me when I was in distress [straights] - Have mercy upon me and hear my Prayers [Pleas]! Oh, you sons of me, how long will you try to turn God’s Glory into shame? How long will yo love vanities? And seek after CHEATING? But know [assuredly] that the LORD has set apart him that is Godly [doerof-good] for HIMSELF; The LORD will hear when I call unto HIM. Stand in awe [of GOD] and sin not!

Commune [meditate] with your own heart upon your bed, and be still [at Peace]. Offer the sacrifices [deeds] of Righteousness, and put your trust in The LORD! For there be many that say: Who will [ever] show us any good? Rather, LORD lift up the Light of YOUR Countenance [Smile] upon us. Because YOU have put gladness in my heart - And even more so for me than in their time [of harves], when their grain and wine have increased! Therefore, I will lay me down in PEACE, and sleep [well] - For you LORD, only make me to dwell in SAFETY. Now join us in Prayer for the Peace and Safety of God’s Friends in Portland. chapel@gorge.net

*REDUCE YOUR CABLE BILL!*

SUPPORT GROUPS ALANON Sunday Rainbow

5:15 PM meeting. G/L/B/T/Q and friends.

Downtown Unitarian Universalist Church on 12th above Taylor. 503-309-2739.

Got Meth Problems?

Need Help?

Oregon CMA 24 hour Hot-line Number: 503-895-1311.

We are here to help you!

Information, support, safe & confidential!

MOTOR Valley Catholic High School

GENERAL

Saturday, April 13, 2013, 7:30pm

“Atomic Auto New School Technology, Old School Service” www.atomicauto.biz

4275 SW 148th Ave • Beaverton

Tickets are $20 in advance and available through www.kalakendra.org or may be purchased at the door for $25. Students $15.

tickets for children (3-12) in advance is $10 & $12.50 at the door

www.kalakendra.org

HEALTH Drug & Alcohol Problems?

TLC Outpatient Clinic. Individual & Group Therapy, Substance Abuse, Yoga, Art & more. 480-577-1172 for information.

Private Insurance or Reasonable Self-Pay/ Personalized Treatment Plans.

(AAN CAN)

Did you undergo transvaginal placement of mesh for pelvic organ prolapse or stress urinary incontinence between 2005 and present time? If the patch required removal due to complications, you may be entitled to compensation. Call Johnson Law and speak with female staff members 1-800-535-5727.

WillametteWeek Classifieds APRIL 10, 2013 wweek.com

CLASSICAL PIANO/ KEYBOARD

Get a 4-Room All-Digital Satellite system installed for FREE and programming starting at $24.99/mo. FREE HD/DVR upgrade to new callers, CALL 1-866-755-3285 (AAN CAN)

PELVIC/TRANSVAGINAL MESH?

60

LESSONS

mention you saw this ad in WW and receive 10% off for your 1st visit!

AUTOS WANTED CASH FOR CARS: Any Car/Truck. Running or Not! Top Dollar Paid. We Come To You! Call For Instant Offer: 1-888-420-3808 www.cash4car.com (AAN CAN)

TO PLACE AN AD CONTACT:

CHATLINES The largest LOCAL chatline..FREE to TRY!

FREE to participate in the member FORUMS. UNLIMITED LIVE CHAT $19/week Free call 503-222-CHAT • 360-696-5253 www.LiveMatch.com

503-445-3647 ahorton@wweek.com – or –

CORIN KUPPLER 503-445-2757 ckuppler@wweek.com

503-445-3647 • ahorton@wweek.com

CORIN KUPPLER

503-445-2757 • ckuppler@wweek.com

JONESIN’ by Matt Jones Across 1 Open ___ Night 4 Rice side 9 Make fit 14 Smoker’s leavings 15 Counting everything 16 Electrical inventor Nikola 17 Line from 1989’s “Dead Pesto Society” about grabbing ten cents?

19 Get darker outside 20 “Absolutely” 21 Total jerk 23 Pain in the neck 24 In ___ (at heart) 26 With 32-across, line from 1983’s “Carsface” about an early GPS system?

29 Detoxifying site 30 River biter 31 Very, to Valdez 32 See 26-across 38 “Love Story” author Segal 39 One URL ending 40 Impede, as with “the works” 42 Line from 1999’s “The Sixth Essen” about visiting Miami?

45 Biochemistry abbr.

46 Diploma alternative 47 ___ Avivan 48 With 59-across, line from 1950’s “Unsets Blvd.” about a new marriage counselor?

53 David ___ Pierce 54 Naive utterances 55 “___ Gang” 56 ___ Dark Materials (Philip Pullman trilogy)

“Line Interference”–movie quotes you’ve never heard.

57 Garden gate fastener 59 See 48-across 64 How actors can cry 65 Olympics prize 66 Eggs 67 Fill-in-the-blank survey option 68 California town that used to have a palindromic bakery 69 Animator Avery Down 1 It’s not PC? 2 “Love ___ Battlefield” (Pat Benatar) 3 Pre-butterfly creature 4 Slapstick ammo 5 Neither Dem. nor Rep. 6 China’s Chou En-___ 7 Lancome competitor 8 It may be peddled 9 Biggest city in Ga. 10 Two that are trouble 11 Houston player 12 Cloth fold 13 Dance like an Argentine 18 ___-wee Herman 22 Big rig 24 Mr. Hoggett’s wife, in “Babe” 25 “Heidi” author Johanna 26 Fast plane, for short 27 Make ___ for mercy 28 Moved forward quickly 30 Goddess of wisdom 33 Arctic drama 34 Announcer Hall 35 Tierra del ___ 36 Place to save game progress, on some

cartridges 37 Had free reign of 41 Brazilian soccer legend 43 Woodworking groove 44 Apiece 48 Cold storage?

49 Signified 50 Dry heave 51 Delish 52 Fast food fixture

53 Style-conscious 56 Dance with a story 58 “Cover ___ Face” (P.D. James book) 60 B-F connectors 61 Mighty tree 62 The night before Christmas, say 63 Marching band instrument

last week’s answers

To place a personals ad, please contact: ASHLEE HORTON

ASHLEE HORTON

©2012 Jonesin’ Crosswords (editor@jonesincrosswords.com) For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle #JONZ618.

Flesh Exotic Wear

Featuring Exotic Dancer Shoes, Dancewear, Ravewear & More

330 SW 3rd located downtown 503-227-1527 open 6pm to 3am daily 20% discount on all merchandise with this ad WillametteWeek Classifieds APRIL 10, 2013 wweek.com

61

TO PLACE AN AD CONTACT:

ASHLEE HORTON

503-445-3647 • ahorton@wweek.com

CORIN KUPPLER

© 2013 Rob Brezsny

Week of April 11

503-445-2757 • ckuppler@wweek.com

MUSICIANS MARKET FOR FREE ADS in 'Musicians Wanted,' 'Musicians Available' & 'Instruments for Sale' go to portland.backpage.com and submit ads online.

Ads taken over the phone in these categories cost $5.

ARIES (March 21-April 19): German theologian Martin Luther (1483-1546) was a central figure in the rebellion against the Catholic Church that led to the Protestant Reformation. You’ll never guess where he was when he was struck by the epiphany that became the core axiom of his new religion. I’ll tell you: He was sitting on the toilet in the Wittenberg Monastery.

The Holy Spirit gave him the crucial knowledge then and there, or so he testified. In this spirit, Aries, keep a very open mind about where you will be and what you will be doing when your illuminations arrive this week.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Your task is to uncover the semi-happy ending that was hidden back in the story’s beginning. Once you do that, you may be able to create a graceful and honorable climax. In fact, I don’t think you will be able to bring about the semi-happy ending any other way. It’s crucial that you return to the original flash of inspiration -- the time when all the plot lines that eventually developed were first germinating. You need to remember fate’s primal promise. You’ve got to read the signs you missed in the early going.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): If you play poker, the odds are one in 649,740 that you will get a royal flush.

That’s an ace, king, queen, jack and ten of one suit.

As for drawing a straight flush -- any five consecutive cards of one suit -- the odds are one in 72,192. Judging from the current astrological omens, Gemini, I’d say your chance of getting one of those hands is far better than usual -- maybe one in 88,000 for the royal flush and one in 8,888 for the straight flush. But those still aren’t great odds. On the other hand, getting a flush -- all five cards of the same suit -- is normally one in 509, but these days it’s pretty likely for you. The moral of the story, not just for when you’re playing cards, but in whatever you do: Expect really good luck, but not miraculous, out-of-this-world luck.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): “Wherever you stand, be the soul of that place,” wrote the poet Rumi. This is excellent advice for you right now, Cancerian. You are nearing the peak of your power to express yourself with beautiful accuracy. You have more skill than usual at understanding and conveying the interesting truth. As a result, you’re in a position to wield extra influence. People are receptive to being moved by your heart-felt intelligence. So please do more than simply push for greater efficiency, order, and discipline.

Those things are good, but I hope you will also be a radiant role model who exemplifies what it means to be soulful.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Golden Rock is a Buddhist holy site in Burma. It’s a small pagoda built on top of a giant boulder that in turn seems to be precariously balanced at the edge of a down-sloping bed of rock. How does the boulder remain stationary? Why doesn’t it roll off the edge? It appears to defy gravity.

Legend says that it’s held in place by a single strand of hair from the Buddha’s head. I suspect that many of you Leos will soon have access to a tricky asset with resemblances to that magic strand. True, it might be merely metaphorical. But if used correctly, it could become a key element in a future foundation.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): It’s Soul-Searching Season: a good time to go in search of your soul. To aid your quest, I’ll offer a few lines from “A Few Words on the Soul,” a poem by Polish poet Wislawa Szymborska. “We have a soul at times,” she says. “No one’s got it non-stop, for keeps. Day after day, year after year may pass without it. For every thousand conversations, it participates in one, if even that, since it prefers silence. It’s picky: our hustling for a dubious advantage and creaky machinations make it sick. Joy and sorrow aren’t two different feelings for it. It attends us only when the two are joined. We can count on it when we’re sure of nothing and curious about everything.

It won’t say where it comes from or when it’s taking off again, though it’s clearly expecting such questions.

We need it but apparently it needs us for some reason too.” (Translation by Stanislaw Baranczak and Clare Cavanagh. Read the whole poem here: http://tinyurl. com/SearchSoul.)

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): “I do not believe in God,” said Mexican painter Diego Rivera, “but I believe in Picasso.” My poet-musician friend Tanya has a similar philosophy. “I don’t believe in God, or even Goddess, for that matter,” she says. “But I do believe in Patti Smith.” Do you have a God-substitute, Libra?

Or, if you do have faith in a Cosmic Wow, is there also a more approachable, second-tier source of divinity you love? According to my reading of the astrological omens, you would really benefit from feeling an intimate kind of reverence right now -- a tender devotion for something higher and brighter that awakens the sleeping part of your lust for life.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): This would be an excellent time to stage staring contests with yourself in the mirror. There’s a high likelihood that you will win every time. I think you’ll also have great success whenever you try to read your own mind. According to my analysis of the astrological omens, you’ve got an uncanny knack for plucking buried secrets and self-deceptions out of their hiding places. One more thing, Scorpio: Have you ever considered how fun it might be to wash your own brain and kick your own butt? Now would be an excellent time to experiment with those radical acts of healing.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): “It’s so hard to forget pain, but it’s even harder to remember sweetness,” writes novelist Chuck Palahniuk. “We have no scar to show for happiness. We learn so little from peace.” Your assignment in the coming days, Sagittarius, is to prove Palahniuk wrong. As the surges of sweetness flow through you, as your secret joy ripens into bright blooming bliss, imprint the sensations on your memory. Vow to remember them for the rest of your life. Make these breakthrough moments into talismans that will serve as magical spells whenever you need rejuvenation in the future.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Philosopher Ludwig Wittgenstein had his priorities straight. This is what he said about his profession: “In philosophy the race is won by the one who can run slowest -- the one who crosses the finish line last.” It’s my belief, Capricorn, that a similar rule should apply to you in the coming days -- no matter what project you’re working on or goal you’re trying to accomplish. Proceed slowly enough to be absolutely thorough, meticulous, and conscientious. As you make your way to the finish line, be as deep as you dare.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): In Samuel Beckett’s novel Molloy, the main character talks about a long overland journey he took on foot and by bicycle.

Before the trip, he had read somewhere that when people are lost in a forest, they often imagine they’re moving in a straight line when in fact they’re going in a circle. That’s why, during his own travels, he intentionally walked in a circle, hoping thereby to go straight. Although this might sound like a loopy strategy, Aquarius, I think it will make sense for you to adopt in the coming week. Your apparent path may be very different, maybe even opposite, to your actual path.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Are you in competition with someone who is doing mediocre work? Do you find it incomprehensible that anyone would pay attention to that weak expression instead of flocking to your beautiful vibe? If so, here’s my advice. Withdraw your attention from your inferior opponent.

Don’t waste a minute feeling jealous or resentful or incredulous. Instead, concentrate your energy on making your production so strong and smart and irresistible that you simply overshadow and overwhelm your rival’s.

Homework I’m guessing that many of you will soon be discovering secrets about where you came from. Report results to Freewillastrology.com.

check out Rob Brezsny’s Expanded Weekly Audio Horoscopes & Daily Text Message Horoscopes

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