Vol 17 Issue 2

Prescribed for

sweet

Lowest ranked hospital in NY by

Maimonides, it's time to own up.

Real stories of real pain.

My 51-year-old strong-as-a-bull father died of a misdiagnosed ruptured appendix and blatant neglect at the hands of the horrendous and incompetent staff.

Yitzchok B., Boro Park

Change is happening.

Stay informed | visit savemaimo.org

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

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Herring Platter $39.99 208145

208130

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For

Online: www.breadberry.com

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Volume 17/lssue 3

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דמעמ הבשה

ג״פשת

WILL TAKE PLACE ON

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Recap: After the disastrous Shabbos seudah at the senior Grossmans’, Esther Mindy is hurt and Avrumi is upset. Esther Mindy is not sure why Avrumi is also upset, until Avrumi begins explaining the complicated family dynamics to her.

At their Shabbos table, Raizy discusses with Yaakov the insights she’s been gaining from Gila Batsheva’s biography.

Glacier decides that it’s time to take real action against Mr. Grossman, to show the Investor, his boss, that his confidence in Glacier was not misplaced.

On Motzei Shabbos, Mr. Grossman leaves to the airport for his flight to England, telling his wife to call their kids in case she needs anything. Mrs. Grossman has an uncomfortable feeling after he leaves, and in middle of the night, she hears sudden noises.

Chapter 26

Avrumi spoke haltingly, in starts and stops, with Esther Mindy listening in a respectful silence throughout. He explained what the atmosphere in their home had always been like, what his position as the youngest and the only boy had given him. How he’d always been his mother’s favorite, and originally, getting engaged to Esther Mindy had only boosted that standing.

Until she’d ruined it all by flouting his mother’s unspoken rules, starting with taking the job she so disapproved of. By now, her actions had managed to pull them so far down in his mother’s eyes that they were comparable to Raizy. And

Raizy, in his family, he explained hesitantly, was almost like a leper. “Not to us siblings,” he hastened to clarify. “Just, just to my mother, you know, because of all my mother’s….”

He paused, unsure what word to use. “Her meshugassen, you know,” he finally ended.

Esther Mindy looked at once stricken, deeply sympathetic, and a good deal mollified. She remained quiet for a couple of minutes after Avrumi finished speaking, thinking.

Remembering the time she’d almost worn fuzzy slippers when going to her mother-in-law’s house. No wonder Avrumi had been nearly horrified.

Remembering the times she’d been so friendly to Raizy. Now she

understood why her mother-in-law had tried to abort every interaction. Remembering how her motherin-law’s controlling behavior had irked her during the engagement. Only now did she understand how much her flighty reactions had impacted their relationship.

“Whoa, that’s really intense,” she said, at last. Avrumi looked miserable. He wished he hadn’t had to expose his family’s dirty laundry so early on in his marriage.

“Poor Raizy,” was her next, unthinking comment. “Is it really like that for her?” Imagine being ostracized in your own family! Esther Mindy couldn’t help but picture her own mother, who loved Esther Mindy unconditionally with all her many foibles. Why,

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her mother was sure that there was no more amazing girl in the world besides Esther Mindy, was absolutely charmed by everything Esther Mindy did, and was even happy to indulge Esther Mindy’s admittedly unorthodox taste with the simple caveat that it be done only at home. That was how Esther Mindy had grown up, with the simple knowledge that all her ideas, no matter how strange, would be wonderful in one person’s eyes: her mother’s.

Esther Mindy suddenly felt very fortunate.

“You know, if we aren’t careful, it can be ‘poor us,’” Avrumi said, keeping his tone light.

Esther Mindy didn’t say anything, so Avrumi continued.

“Really, I’m sure my mother will be won over very easily,” he said in a placating tone. “Even recently I overheard her boasting about you on the phone to her friends. She’ll be happy again really fast, as long as she doesn’t…”

His words trailed off as he saw Esther Mindy’s expression changing.

“Is that how the rest of our life is going to be?” she said. “Dancing to your mother’s tune? Can’t we be people for ourselves?”

Avrumi was taken aback. He opened his mouth to respond, then closed it again.

“Look, I totally get that we need to stay on your mother’s good side and make her happy and proud, or else she can get, um, you know, very upset,” she said quickly. “I definitely don’t want to make her angry again.”

“But?” Avrumi said cautiously.

Esther Mindy sighed. “I just, it’s really hard for me to imagine having to always make sure she approves,” she admitted.

Silence.

No way, Esther Mindy thought to herself, feeling bleak.

Avrumi looked as if he wished she would simply smile and acquiesce, become another loyal Grossman puppy.

But she couldn’t do it. Just as much as she couldn’t possibly wear boring fashionable clothing all day long. Just as much as she couldn’t possibly surround herself solely with people who looked right but had nothing in common with her. She had too many years behind her of fighting to stay true to herself, despite the fakeness of her surroundings. She wasn’t going to sacrifice it all now.

“I guess I never thought of it so like that,” Avrumi said. “It’s sort of a given in my house that if you can, you do what Mommy wants. The only one who simply couldn’t do it was Raizy.”

Esther Mindy gave a slight shudder. “It sounds so awful for her,” she said, conscious of the fact that they were avoiding the gridlock they’d encountered.

Avrumi looked abashed. “I think it was, though I never really realized it until right before we got married.”

“Why, what happened then?”

“I went to say goodbye to her right before I left to America to get married, and when I was about to leave, her husband, Yaakov, asked me for a favor. I couldn’t imagine what he wanted, and I was totally shocked when I heard what he wanted.”

“What was it?” Esther Mindy asked, curiosity piqued.

“He asked me to stick up for her to my mother. I didn’t really know what he wanted from me. I never realized that it really bothered her so much. But after that, I started noticing what was going on more.”

“Did you try to stand up for her?”

Esther Mindy asked.

With his wife’s eyes trained on him like that, it was difficult for Avrumi to admit the truth.

“Well,” he said, swallowing, “not really. It didn’t really come in.”

Esther Mindy tried to mask her disappointment.

“Honestly, I don’t think there was much I could do,” Avrumi said.

“My mother’s been on her back as long as I can remember. I doubt if it’s possible for anything to change that.”

Esther Mindy wondered if that were true. Avrumi had also been his mother’s favorite since forever, and yet it seemed his wife was able to make a dent in that favor. But she didn’t say anything.

Instead, she got up from where she was sitting with a graceful stretch.

“Should I bring some drinks?” she asked, starting to head to the kitchen.

“Thanks,” Avrumi said dutifully to her receding back. He, too, got up and wandered over to the sefarim shelves, studying the sefarim that were arranged neatly on the shelves. Distractedly, he chose a sefer and returned to his perch.

“Here,” Esther Mindy said, returning to their dining room with a bright smile, “Do you want soda, water, or my secret refresher recipe?”

He didn’t have the heart to return her smile, to pretend that it wasn’t her very love of the funky that had been the problem they were discussing.

“I’ll taste your refresher, I guess,” he said halfheartedly, unsmiling.

Esther Mindy sobered. She poured him a glass of the drink, the pink slushy liquid sloshing inelegantly, making her purse her lips in dismay.

Avrumi kept his eyes fixed on his sefer as he reached for the glass. He knew that Esther Mindy was too principled to disturb him while he was ostensibly learning, and so the discussion was effectively over. Which was good, because Avrumi was starting to regret ever having spoken about this. She’d taken it as

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something much more major than it really was, and he had a feeling he wouldn’t be able to correct that impression anymore.

The thought left an acrid taste in his mouth, which even the fruity watermelon taste of Esther Mindy’s refresher couldn’t sweeten.

Esther Mindy sipped her own drink in silence, then left the room. For the rest of that afternoon, Esther Mindy kept turning it over in her brain, again and again.

How could she possibly keep her mother-in-law appeased and still be herself, Esther Mindy Grossman with an emphasis on the Esther Mindy part?

She didn’t share any of her thoughts with Avrumi. In fact, the two of them didn’t exchange a word on the subject.

Until Motzei Shabbos, when they were about to wash for a late Melava Malka.

“I think I’ve got it,” Esther Mindy said, without any preamble.

Avrumi quirked an eyebrow at her.

“What are you talking about?” he asked.

“What we were talking about today. Your mother,” Esther Mindy explained.

A guarded look came into Avrumi’s eyes. He wasn’t sure he wanted to go back there.

“Really, it isn’t that complicated,” Esther Mindy said. “It’s really important that your mother should go back to being thrilled with her perfect daughter-in-law who she can show off to everyone. And there can’t be anything that will get in the way of that.”

Avrumi gave a tiny nod. Yes, that was what he’d wanted her to understand. That it was important to give his mother this, all the way.

“But on the other hand, I can’t give up being my own person. That’s really important also.”

Avrumi didn’t nod. But he kept looking at her, waiting for her to continue.

“So I was thinking about this a whole day, and I was even starting to get annoyed, like why can’t she just leave us alone,” Esther Mindy admitted, her tone sheepish, “but now I was thinking, look, this is who she is, we’re not changing her. And I think I know what to do next.”

Avrumi inclined his head.

“When I’m around her, I’ll need to kill her with kindness. Be extra perfect. Wear what she wants me to wear, say what she wants me to say, do what she wants me to do. Agree with her on everything, ask her opinion and do exactly what she tells me. But then, when I’m on my own,” Esther Mindy paused.

“Hm,” Avrumi prompted.

“Then I need to do whatever I want to do, and not worry about her at all. It’s like my clothing. When I go out, I need to be super fashionable for the world out there. But then, when I come home, because I’m so overdressed the whole day, I need to get into especially wacky clothes. You get what I mean?”

“I-think so,” Avrumi said. “But why won’t it bother her when you do whatever you want, if it’s not to her liking?”

“Because I’ll be so super-duper extra-accommodating and show-off worthy the rest of the time,” Esther Mindy explained eagerly.

Avrumi still looked skeptical. “I’m not sure,” he said. Had she really understood what it was about? But Esther Mindy was determined that her idea could work. For the

next few hours, the two of them sat at the kitchen table, discussing what her plan could and should look like.

***

It sounded like a gunshot. And it sounded like it was really close.

Mrs. Grossman woke up, a sudden sheen of sweat covering her forehead. What was going on? Was she still dreaming?

Her stomach bottomed out, as she clutched her blanket in fright. She heard heavy thuds. They were coming from the direction of her house’s side entrance.

She lay quivering, a mass of terrified Jell-O, as another sound of a gunshot fired through the night. Her hand groped for her phone. She had to call the police!

But then she stilled it. Would the police believe her? And if they did, and a patrol car showed up in the middle of the night, but found nothing? She’d be a laughingstock for calling the police about a figment of her imagination.

These logical, rational thoughts calmed her somewhat, allowing her to think more clearly.

Avrumi’s bedroom window! The thought suddenly came to her. From the room where Avrumi had always slept, there was a direct view of the driveway that led to the house’s side entrance. She would go there to see what was going on.

With unsteady feet, she groped for her slippers. She made her way over to the window in the other room. She looked down. And froze.

There was a man lying on the pavement right outside the side door of her house.

Photo

and

at Haturas Nedurim Erev Rosh Hashanah

FAMILY

FAMILY

MIX

THE FOUR-STEP PROCESS will immediately effectuate a complete and permanent return on your behalf to the proper owners whomever and wherever they might be.

dayanim of

Neki

custodial guardianship of

dayanim perform

and complete

to

rightful owner.

Tools for Optimizing Sleep

AT-A-GLANCE

· Neuroscientist Andrew Huberman details how to effectively harness light and darkness, as well as other factors, to fall asleep faster and stay asleep longer

· The main tools that control when you are awake and when you are asleep include light and darkness, temperature, food and exercise

· Huberman refers to viewing sunlight immediately, or within the first hour, after waking as “the most powerful stimulus for wakefulness throughout the day,” which will also help you fall asleep at night

· Taking a cold shower or ice bath for one to three minutes in the morning will trigger an increase in your core body temperature and lead you to feeling more alert; taking a hot bath or sauna in the evening will have the opposite effect and will help you fall asleep

· Once the sun goes down, you should dim the lights in your environment and use as little artificial light as possible; better yet, use candlelight or moonlight after sunset and be sure your bedroom is pitch black at night

· Other options to help you stay asleep include eye masks, ear plugs or elevating the end of your bed, which can increase the depth of your sleep

By a famed nutritionist:

High-quality, sound sleep, in the proper duration, is fundamental to mental and physical well-being. Yet, it’s something that many people struggle with, due to medical disorders, work schedules or a lifestyle that keeps them going 24/7.

According to the American Sleep Apnea Association’s “State of Sleep Health in America in 2022," 70% of adults obtain insufficient sleep at least one night a month, while 11% have insufficient sleep every night. The report also estimated that 50 million to 70 million Americans suffer from sleep-related problems.

Sleep problems and sleep disorders not only lead shortterm issues like problems with alertness, mood and shortterm memory, but also contribute to long-term chronic issues, including high blood pressure, cognitive impairment, heart disease and stroke. This is why setting aside one hour and 40 minutes to watch Andrew Huberman’s sleep toolkit video, above, will be time well-spent.

Huberman is a neuroscientist and tenured professor in the department of neurobiology at Stanford University School of Medicine, and the video details how to effectively harness light and darkness, as well as other factors, and to fall asleep faster and stay asleep longer.

Factors That Influence Your Sleep

Getting a good night’s rest isn’t always as simple as lying

in bed and closing your eyes, as many factors influence your nightly sleep patterns and circadian rhythm. However, the main tools that control when you are awake and when you are asleep include:

· Light and darkness

· Temperature

· Food, including what you eat, when you eat and the amount you eat

· Exercise

Caffeine, supplements and body temperature can also powerfully modulate your sleep. In a “perfect” 24hour cycle, one of the first things that happens when you wake up in the morning is that your body temperature increases.

This temperature increase leads to a release in the hormone cortisol, which is often referred to as a stress hormone but also has other functions, including enhancing your immune system, increasing your metabolism and enhancing your ability to focus. Huberman explaines:

“Cortisol is often demonized and considered this bad thing. And, indeed, you don’t want cortisol to be chronically or consistently elevated throughout the day or night. But you do want cortisol to reach its peak early in the day right about the time you wake up.

One way that you can ensure that that cortisol peak occurs early in the day, right about the time you wake up, is to view bright light, ideally from sunlight, within the first 30 to 60 minutes after waking …

You want to trigger that cortisol increase to occur very early in your day, and you don’t want that cortisol peak to happen later, which is what will happen if you wait to get outside and see sunlight. The reason for this is that you have a set of neurons, nerve cells, in your eye. They’re called intrinsically photosensitive melanopsin cells …

Those neurons respond best to bright light, and especially right after

waking early in the day, they are best able to signal to a set of neurons. They reside over the roof of your mouth called the suprachiasmatic nucleus, which is a cluster of neurons that then sends a huge number of other signals, electrical and chemical, out to your entire body that triggers that cortisol increase, provides a wake-up signal for your brain and body, and sets in motion a timer for you to fall asleep later that night.”

This can be as simple as going outdoors right after you wake up and looking toward — not directly at — the sun, without sunglasses, and not through a window or vehicle windshield. If you wake up before the sun is out, you can use artificial lights for the same purpose but should still go outdoors and view actual sunlight as soon as possible after the sun comes up. On cloudy days, you should still go outdoors for sunlight and get as much light as possible to activate your optical receptors.

Huberman refers to viewing sunlight immediately, or within the first hour, after waking as “the most powerful stimulus for wakefulness throughout the day,” which will also help you fall asleep at night.6 He recommends:

· On a clear day, with no or minimal cloud cover, getting about five minutes of sunlight exposure to your eyes early in the day

· On a day with cloud cover, getting about 10 minutes of sunlight exposure to your eyes early in the day

· On a day that’s densely overcast or rainy, getting about 20 or 30 minutes of sunlight exposure to your eyes early in the day

If you miss a day, you can make up for it the next morning, but you’ll need to get twice as much exposure.

What to Do in the Early Morning to Help Wake Up

Once you’ve leveraged sunlight to

your advantage in the first few minutes after waking, you can move to some of the other tools that are useful for wakefulness. Temperature is among them, specifically, trying to raise your core body temperature faster than it would rise naturally.

Huberman suggests taking a cold shower or ice bath for one to three minutes to do this, but if you are over 60 I disagree. “While it will certainly wake you up, you release adrenaline, epinephrine, from both your brain and body — the body from your adrenals and your brain from a little cluster of neurons called locus coeruleus,” for many elderly this can be highly counterproductive.

Additionally, cold water can make your temperature drop if you stay in too long: Getting into cold water for just one to three minutes signals to your brain and body that your external body is cold, which will trigger an increase in your core body temperature and lead you to feeling more alert. Exercise is another tool to increase your core body temperature early in the day. You may want to do your full workout for the day early in the morning after waking. This is the strategy I use as I typically wake at 4:30 a.m. and start my workout at 6 a.m. for one hour and then immediately follow it with a near-infrared sauna that I describe in my recent article.

The sauna is particularly beneficial after a workout as, if you are fasting, you will activate NAMPT and make more NAD+, and the hormetic heat stress from the near-, not far-, infrared sauna will only add to the increase, improve your mitochondrial melatonin and increase heat shock proteins to help refold the proteins in your brain to prevent Alzheimer’s.

“Exercise, or even just a modest amount of movement — walking, jogging, skipping rope, some light calisthenics,” Huberman says, “… will further increase your core body temperature and help you feel more

awake.”

Caffeine is another element that, when used in the early part of the day, can “set in motion a wave of biological cascades that carry though the entire day and into the evening and night, and really do serve to optimize sleep.” Consuming caffeine is not necessary to feel your best or to optimize sleep, but if you’re going to consume caffeinated coffee or tea in the morning, you can optimize

Caffeine works as an adenosine antagonist, limiting sleepiness. Huberman recommends delaying caffeine consumption until 90 to 120 minutes after waking, which allows you to clear out any adenosine that may still be lurking in your system. “Get that sunlight exposure, get some movement to wake up and then, and only then, start to ingest caffeine because what you’ll do if you delay caffeine intake … is you will avoid the so-called afternoon crash,” Huberman says.

You should also avoid consuming caffeine after 4 p.m. — or even better after 2 p.m. or 3 p.m. — as doing so may interfere with your sleep. As for eating in the morning, if you’re following timerestricted eating you may not eat your first meal until late morning. No matter when you eat, if you eat a large volume of food, you can expect to feel sleepier as your body diverts resources toward digesting your food.

Three Critical Periods in a Day

Throughout a 24-hour day, there are three critical periods during which you should try to layer in as many positive tools for optimized wakefulness and sleep as possible. The first critical period is the early morning as discussed, during which you’ll want to get sunlight exposure, raise your core temperature and exercise. This encompasses the time when you wake up until about

three hours after — the early hours of your day.

The second critical period is the time throughout the day and afternoon, leading into evening, during which you can take steps to help optimize your sleep later. You’ll want to avoid ingesting caffeine during this period and, if you like, take a nap. Naps are fine as long as you don’t nap too late in the day or too long, such that it hinders your ability to fall asleep later. You don’t have to nap at all if you prefer not to, but if you like naps, limit them to no more than 90 minutes.

If you exercise intensely during the second critical period, be aware that it’s going to delay your circadian clock, causing you to fall asleep a little bit later and, consequently, to wake up later. You can also take advantage of more sunlight exposure to your eyes in the late afternoon and early evening hours when the sun is at a low solar angle. Huberman explains:

“As the sun starts to descend, it triggers those same neurons in your eye that communicate with your circadian clock, but it communicates with a different component or different compartment within the circadian clock …

… the tool that I’m describing of looking at the sun in the late afternoon and evening … signals to that clock that it’s evening time and that sleep is coming. It also serves as a second anchor or reference point for your body and your brain to know where it is in time.”

Interestingly, there’s even research showing that if you view near-infrared light, like the sunset, in the early evening hours, it may help to mitigate some of the consequences of light exposure later in the evening. Critical period three begins around 6 p.m. or 7 p.m. and continues into the hours when you get into bed and throughout the

night while you’re asleep. It’s important to avoid bright artificial lights of any color during this time.

Shortly before the sun goes down, you should dim the lights in your environment and use as little artificial light as possible, including dimming your computer screen and avoiding overhead lights — opting for desk lamps instead. Better yet, use candlelight or moonlight after sunset.

You should avoid all blue light exposure after sunset as this will impair your production of pineal melatonin that is naturally released in the evening hours, helping you to feel sleepy and to fall asleep. Viewing bright light in the evening suppresses the release of melatonin and may seriously impair your sleep.

Tips to Help You Fall Asleep in the Evening

In addition to avoiding bright artificial lights at night, you can also take a hot bath or sauna, or use a hot tub, which will temporarily warm you up, then lead to a cooling off of your body temperature, which is conducive to sleep. As your body temperature drops by 1 to 3 degrees, it will make it easier for you to fall asleep.

Keeping your sleeping environment cool or even cold will also lead to more restful sleep. You can layer on as many blankets as needed so you feel comfortable, and you’ll naturally stick out a hand or foot when you’re feeling too warm, helping you to stay at the best temperature for sleep.

Regarding alcohol, be aware that while it can make you sleepy and help you fall asleep, the sleep that you’ll get will be greatly disrupted. If you’ve tried all of the behavioral and lifestyle changes you can and are still having trouble with sleep, certain supplements may be beneficial, including what Huberman refers to as the “sleep stack”:

· Magnesium threonate

· Apigenin

· Theanine

While you may get a synergistic effect from taking all three, you may want to take one at a time to evaluate their effects individually. These should be taken 30 to 60 minutes before bedtime. Huberman also takes glycine and GABA every third or fourth night, in addition to the sleep stack, as he finds it greatly enhances his ability to get into sleep.

He also takes 900 milligrams of myoinositol every other night, on the nights he doesn’t take glycine and GABA, which helps him fall back asleep if he wakes in the middle of the night.

If your bedroom is affected by light pollution, be sure to use blackout shades to keep light out and remove all sources of light from your bedroom, including a digital alarm clock or cellphone. Huberman says:

“I promise that if you start to implement some, or ideally all, of these tools,” “the quality of your sleep will increase tremendously. And, of course, in doing so, the quality of your daytime alertness and your ability to focus will improve tremendously.

Again, sleep is the absolute foundation of your mental health, your physical health and your performance in all endeavors. So, if there’s one area of your life to really focus on and try and optimize, if your goal is to be happier and more productive and just to have a better life overall, I can confidently say that sleep is really the thing to optimize.”

I added the following two sections

that were not in Andrew’s podcast because they are important additions that he did not address.

Limit EMFs in Your Bedroom

Similar to bright light, electromagnetic fields (EMFs) disrupt your pineal gland’s production of melatonin while also harming your body’s mitochondria by producing excessive oxidative damage. Your body was designed to rest and recover at night and if your Wi-Fi is on along with your cell phone on your nightstand, you are absolutely sabotaging any chance you have at proper recovery.

Sleeping surrounded by EMFs all night, every night, can cause or contribute to many chronic ailments, including premature aging and neuronal changes that affect memory and your ability to learn.

Most of us are exposed to EMFs on a 24/7 basis, but you can limit your exposure significantly by shielding your bedroom. One important step toward this end is to turn off your Wi-Fi at night or, better yet, hard-wire your home and get rid of the Wi-Fi altogether.

I also recommend shutting off the electricity to your bedroom at night, which typically works to reduce electrical fields from the wires in your wall — unless there is an adjoining room next to your bedroom. If that is the case you will need to use a meter to determine if you also need to turn off power in the adjacent room.

You should also avoid keeping your cellphone in your bedroom at night unless it’s in airplane mode — and

certainly don’t sleep with it under your pillow. Even in airplane mode it can emit signals, which is why I put my phone in a Faraday bag.

Proper Sleeping Posture — on Your Back With Mouth Tape

Another important element to getting a sound night’s sleep is achieving the proper cervical posture, as discussed by Dr. Peter Martone, a Boston-based chiropractor and physiologist, in our video interview above.

Martone believes it is critically important to sleep on your back in a neutral sleeping position. However, there are a large number of people whose airway will close during the night. This can easily be prevented by applying paper tape over your lips before you go to sleep. I have been doing this for a few years, and it’s now part of my nighttime ritual.

You’ll know you're in the correct position when your eyes are looking straight up toward the ceiling and your chin is pointed up to the ceiling as well. Martone developed Neck Nest — a special pillow designed to provide ideal support for the cervical spine — which you can consider using to support proper sleep posture.

When used in conjunction with other treatment strategies, it’s been shown to restore the natural 45-degree angle in the neck. Together, these tools — many of which are free or very lowcost — can have a significant effect on your ability to sleep well, and in turn improve your health and well-being in virtually limitless ways.

Rifka Schonfeld, Director

1542 East 19th St Brooklyn, NY 11230 718.382.5437

rifkaschonfeldsos.com

STRATEGIES

OPTIMUM SUCCESS

Q: Why is it so hard for me to accept criticism? I feel like it will help me grow, but I never want to listen once it is being said. Is there something I can do to change this about myself?

A: Harvard professors Douglas Stone and Sheila Heen argue that we “swim in an ocean of feedback” throughout our lives. As children, we get hundreds of grades each year; as young adults, we hear about our strengths and weaknesses in shidduchim, and we have performance evaluations throughout our personal lives and careers.

In their book, Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well (Even When It’s OffBase, Unfair, Poorly Delivered, and Frankly, You are not in the Mood), Stone and Heen note that when we give feedback, we notice that the receiver

isn’t good at receiving it. Conversely, when we receive feedback, we notice that the giver isn’t good at giving it. They wondered what made feedback so difficult. And, they realized that the key player is not the giver, but the receiver. Therefore, they created a book whose primary purpose is to give you an understanding of why getting feedback is so hard. They also provide readers with some tools to help them recognize, digest, and grow from that any kind of feedback (unwanted and unwarranted included).

You might think that there are multiple ways that things can go wrong with feedback, but Stone and Heen have identified three specific triggers that make hearing and growing from the feedback more difficult:

• Truth Triggers. We can be thrown off by the content

of the feedback itself. If the feedback is off, impractical or false, we can feel frustrated and wronged.

• Relationship Triggers. This trigger is generated by the person giving you the feedback. You might feel that the person has no expertise or authority in that subject and should not be addressing you, or you might feel that you deserve better than to be criticized by that person. In these instances, our focus shifts from the feedback itself to the person who is giving it.

• Identity Triggers. Identity triggers focus on us. They don’t focus on the substance of the feedback or the person who is giving it. Instead, they cause us to rethink who we are. We feel unsure of ourselves – and feel threatened and off balance.

BE FIT WITH BENEFIT

Have any nutrition questions? Send email to: benefit@weeklylink.com

AWelcome to the wonderful world of women that feel like you do! Let’s take your question apart.

What is Bloating?

Bloating is the uncomfortable feeling that your stomach is swollen or expanded, and often occurs soon after eating. In addition to feeling unpleasant, bloating can also make your stomach protrude and look larger than usual. Most of the time, bloating is caused by an excess of gas, solids, or liquid in your digestive system, which puts pressure on your abdomen and causes that “stuffed” feeling. However, sometimes people with increased sensitivity will also experience the feeling of bloating even when there is not an excess of solids, liquid, or gas in their system. This may be secondary to inflammation from food sensitivities.

Bloating is a common issue that affects people of all ages. In fact,16-30% of people report that they experience it on a regular basis.

What can cause you to feel bloated?

While the source of bloating is often easy to determine, such as overeating or making food

choices that disagree with you, there are also a number of surprising things that can cause this reaction in some people. If you experience bloating on a regular basis but are not sure why, one of these may be the culprit.

Chewing Gum

You probably would not expect chewing gum to cause bloating–after all when you chew gum, you are not putting any solid food into your digestive system. However, chewing gum for a sustained amount of time can cause you to swallow an increased amount of air, which can cause your blow up. It’s also common to swallow an excess of air if you are eating while talking or eating very quickly.

Food Allergies

If you find yourself feeling bloated regularly after eating the same types of foods, you may be experiencing a food allergy or sensitivity. Common allergies that can cause a bloated feeling include lactose, fructose, eggs, wheat, and gluten. Try keeping a food log of what you eat and writing down any time that you feel bloated, then see if there is a pattern.

Not Enough Fiber or Water

Sometimes the cause of bloating is constipation, which is often the result of a lack of soluble fiber in your diet or not enough water. Increasing the amount of soluble fiber in your diet and ensuring that you are drinking plenty of water can help to promote more regular bowel movements, and ease bloat. Foods that are high in soluble fiber include beans, oats, avocados, flax seeds, and broccoli.

That being said, adding a large amount of fiber to your diet suddenly can also cause you to feel bloated, so you should slowly increase the fiber in your diet in increments, to avoid this.

If you experience bloating regularly and are unsure of what is triggering it, there are a number of potential causes, including those outlined above as well as Crohn’s disease, IBD, IBS, or small intestinal bacterial overgrowth (SIBO). Speak to your doctor to help determine what is triggering your discomfort and come up with a plan to address the problem. It might be simpler than you think to help yourself feel better.

Shaindy Oberlander, BS, INHC is a certified integrative nutrition health coach in private practice in Lakewood NJ, in addition to many virtual clients worldwide. Shaindy caters to teens/adults and creates customized lifestyle and food plans geared towards overall wellness/nutrition, weight loss and hormonal balancing. Shaindy has specific tracks for pregnant/nursing mothers, tracks for gut health and tracks geared towards common intestinal issues and that can be healed with proper nutrition. Follow Shaindy on Instagram at benefithealtprogram or visit her website @www.benefithealthprogram.com. Shaindy can be reached at 347.228.1198 for appointments and questions.

QI am forever feeling bloated. I am wondering if you can explain what causes bloat and what I can do to help myself.

you neEd to be hEalthy in oRder to lOse Weight

WEIGHT LOSS IS A JOURNEY THAT NEEDS TO BE UNDERSTOOD. THERE IS NO ONE SIZE FITS ALL APPROACH. YOU DON'T HAVE TO NAVIGATE THIS INTRICATE JOURNEY ON OUR OWN. JOIN THE BENEFIT HEALTH MOVEMENT AND GET THE SUPPORT YOUR MIND AND BODY NEEDS.

JOIN SHAINDY OBERLANDER, BS, INHC ON THE TRACK THAT IS RIGHT FOR YOU!

Chef quality dishes, starts with

BETTER INGREDIENTS

A Sueda to Savor

Enhance your menu with these timeless classics and experience the joy of Succos.

Git Yom Tov, GITTY NEUMAN

STEAK WITH CARAMELIZED MUSHROOMS

The caramelized mushrooms are completely optional, but they add a great finish to the meat.

INGREDIENTS:

8 club steak slices

3 cups water

2 Tablespoons cornstarch

1 Tablespoon onion soup mix

4 Tablespoons brown sugar

6 Tablespoons soy sauce

6 frozen garlic cubes

CARAMELIZED MUSHROOMS:

10 oz fresh mushrooms, peeled and sliced (not too thin)

2 Tablespoons oil, for sautéing

1 teaspoon sugar

1 teaspoon onion soup mix

1 Tablespoon ketchup

1 Tablespoon bbq sauce

2 Tablespoons water

DIRECTIONS:

1. Preheat oven to 350°.

2. Line a 10x16 pan with parchment paper and lay club steak slices over it. Sprinkle with salt and pepper.

3. Prepare the sauce: Dissolve cornstarch in water. Add remaining ingredients and mix well. Pour over the meat.

4. Cover pan tightly with foil. Bake 3-4 hours.

5. Prepare caramelized mushrooms: Heat oil in a large saute pan and saute mushrooms until soft and slightly golden. Add remaining ingredients to the pot and mix well. Simmer until the liquid is mostly cooked out and mushrooms are glazed with the sauce.

6. Serve meat with gravy and caramelized mushrooms.

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Tried and true, this simple spice rub brings out the best in your meat.

SPICE RUB:

2 Tablespoons brown sugar, firmly packed

1 Tablespoon paprika

1 Tablespoon salt

¼ teaspoon black pepper

3 frozen garlic cubes

3-4 lb French roast, minute roast or similar cut

3 lg onions, sliced

1/3 cup oil, for sauteeing

DIRECTIONS:

1. Preheat oven to 350°.

2. Line a deep 9x13 pan with parchment paper. Place 1/3 of the sliced onions in the pan and place meat over it.

3. Prepare the spice rub: Place spice rub ingredients in a small bowl and mix well. Drizzle some oil over the meat and massage spice rub into the meat, coating it on all sides. Let sit for ½ hour.

4. Heat oil in a large saute pan and saute remaining 2/3 onion slices over medium heat until soft and golden.

5. Spread sauteed onions over the meat.

6. Cover meat with another piece of parchment paper. Seal pan tightly with 2 layers of foil.

7. Bake 4 hours. Cool completely before slicing. (For best results, refrigerate overnight, then slice.)

8. To reheat: Place covered pan in a low temperature oven until heated through.

Note: If using the spice rub on meat slices, use sparingly or the flavor will be too intense.

CABBAGE AND PASTRAMI PASTA

A cross between the classic ‘lukshen kroat’ and eggrolls…. A sure crowd pleaser.

INGREDIENTS:

1 (12 oz) package bow ties, cooked according to directions

3 Tablespoons oil, for sautéing

1 lg onion, diced

1 teaspoon salt

16 oz green cabbage

2 Tablespoons sugar

1 Tablespoon soy sauce

1 Tablespoon mustard

½ teaspoon garlic powder

12 oz pastrami, sliced into thin strips

DIRECTIONS:

1. Place oil, onion and salt in a large saute pan. Cook for 5 minutes over medium heat, until onions are softened.

2. Add cabbage and toast in the oil for 10 minutes.

3. Cover pan and simmer over very low heat for 45 minutes, stirring occasionally. Cabbage should be soft and golden.

4. Add remaining ingredients except pastrami and simmer 5 more minutes.

5. Stir in pastrami until heated through.

6. Combine with cooked pasta.

Note: To make ahead, prepare mixture as directed through step 4. Freeze. Defrost and combine with pastrami and freshly cooked pasta.

The New Look of

THEOUTSIDE

BUBBLE

Dov’s daughter Simi has a baby boy. Gronam, the homeless beggar whom Michoel Perl had taken care of, bangs at Perl’s door, trying to figure out where he could be. He plants the idea in Martin’s head that perhaps Perl is dead and none one knows about it. Martin realizes that if something would happen to him now, no one would know about it either.

CHAPTER TWENTY EIGHT

“Enough, Penina, stop it.” Simi sounded irritated, and it took an effort on Penina’s part not to be insulted. She reminded herself that Simi was also after birth right now, and there was no reason to take her words too much to heart.

“Fine,” Penina said quietly. “When you get released from the hospital, go to the Eim V’Yeled. The loss is yours.”

Simi sighed. “Let’s talk about something else now, okay? How does your baby sleep at night?”

“Every night is different. Last night she cried a lot, and Hinda came and took her for a while.”

“Oh,” Simi said. “And other times?”

“She helps me when she can, and when she can’t, I try to manage on my own.”

“Oh,” Simi said again. She

sounded tired. “When you come back, Penina, I’ll try to help you as much as I can…”

“Which won’t be too much,” Penina muttered darkly. “Simi, when you had Yehudis, what did you do?”

“I came to Abba and Ima’s house, of course.”

“I remember; it was a day before my fifth-grade class trip. You were with us for a month, right?”

“A month and four days.”

“And when Miriam was born, you came for a month, too, right? You came after all of their births, even after you had Batsheva.”

They were both quiet, thinking about the first Batsheva, who had been born half a year after their mother had passed away. “Abba wanted you to come,” Penina said finally.

“I remember.” Simi was sitting in the empty lounge, her hand on the plastic bassinet. “But Penina, it’s different today. You can’t expect me to go all the way to Haifa.”

“Me? I don’t expect anything,” Penina said. “But maybe Abba does.”

“He doesn’t. If your mother-in-law would not have had that slipped disc, you wouldn’t have gone either.”

“Because I didn’t think it was an option.”

“I don’t think it’s an option either.”

“But it is!”

“For you, Penina, for you! Don’t you get it? It might be an option for you, but not for me!” Simi Rosenstark found herself shouting in the empty room, and hoping that none of the other new mothers would suddenly decide to show up there. “For me it’s not an option, okay?! It doesn’t work for me, and enough, enough, ENOUGH! And please don’t start crying on me now, because I don’t have the strength to calm you down. It’s true that you’re the youngest, and you’re the sensitive orphan who always needed to be coddled and protected, but I’m also weak, okay? I gave birth less than twenty-four hours ago, and nothing would happen if people thought about me, too, for a change.” She was silent for a long moment. “Okay, bye, we’ll talk later,” she whispered, and set

OUTSIDE

THE BUBBLE

the phone down, exhausted. She looked at her fingers and saw they were trembling. They had trembled exactly the same way when she’d come to Abba’s house with two-day-old Batsheva, and all her bags from the hospital, and had sat down to eat the supper that her father had prepared for her the night before.

He was a great cook. Did he help out Hinda in the kitchen? Ima had never particularly liked it, and honestly, she didn’t need his help, because she was also a fantastic cook.

She remembered to this day the menu of that festive yet sad welcome supper: vegetable soup, chicken, roast potatoes, and a bar of dark chocolate with nougat filling for dessert.

Her father had placed a similar bar of chocolate in front of her a year and a half later, when she’d come to talk to him one evening. Since Penina had gotten married, she’d tried to come visit him more often.

For Simi, it had been a routine visit, but for him it had been anything but. This was his opportunity to have a serious conversation with her, a fact she’d discovered only after he’d started talking. “I’m speaking to you about this first,” he’d said, his smile a bit wan. Then, too, her fingers had begun to shake. “You deserve that, Simi. As the oldest, the most mature, and the one who feels responsibility for the family. We’ve spoken about this once or twice, but then it was all theoretical. Now, something has come up, and it’s serious, and I want you to know about it.”

“A…a shidduch for you?” she’d said quietly.

He had nodded.

“What’s her name?” “Hinda Schorr.”

Then, she hadn’t known that Hinda, her father’s new wife, was a tzedakah collector by profession.

It wasn’t nice to put it that way, but that’s what it was, when you didn’t use fancy words. She went from door to door and collected money for a small, unknown organization.

“Yes, a gabba’is tzedakah,” her father had told her when she’d dared to ask him about it, after a conversation with a classmate who’d called to wish her mazel tov on her father’s engagement.

That was the official reason for the phone call. But actually, it had been the most gossip-filled call she’d ever gotten.

“Sure,” her friend, who happened to live in Haifa, had said. “Hinda Schorr. Of course I know her. She’s been a widow for many years, right?”

“Yes.”

“My mother-in-law was so happy for her, especially when I told her what a good person your father is. She said it was high time that someone should put this Hinda on her feet. Poor woman, what a life…”

Maybe she should have thanked her then and hung up the phone, but she couldn’t. “Of course, being a widow is not easy,” Simi had said cautiously.

“For sure, we should never know of such things…but with her, the kids are a real pekel too… One son is mentally ill, and his twin was super-wild when he was little. Now he’s learning in Bnei Brak, and my mother-in-law has no idea what he’s up to. He must

be about twenty-four or so. The two married ones live really far and hardly come visit, and there’s a single daughter who lives in Yerushalayim… And there’s no money there, that’s for sure.”

“I think she works,” Simi had said, on the alert.

“Works?” the friend had repeated the word slowly. “Well, they say she gets a cut of this work. And if she’s successful, I suppose it should be a nice income.”

“I haven’t really looked into her bank account,” Simi had noted dryly. “But I do know that she works, part time at least. My father says she has some very enthusiastic clients.”

“What are you talking about, Simi?” her friend had asked, in a tone that bordered on sharpness. “What clients? Hinda Schorr collects tzedakah for some small organization. That, to the best of my knowledge, is what she does on a day-to-day basis. Maybe she has another profession that I don’t know about, but…”

“She does, I’m sure she has something,” Simi had said, as she cast about for a chair. Wait. One. Second. So her father’s bride worked as a telemarketer for a tzedakah organization. If she’d been a representative for one of the big organizations like Ezer Mi’Tzion, would her take be any different?

Bu there was a difference...

A tzedakah collector.

Small organization.

Receiving a percentage.

Simi remembered this conversation nearly word for word. How she had managed to end it remained more vague in

OUTSIDE THE BUBBLE

her mind. She’d called her father immediately, in a panic, but he had refused to share her alarm. All he’d said was that he knew everything, and that he was inviting her— meaning, his kallah—on Motza’ei Shabbos to his house to meet everyone.

Hinda had come to meet them all. She had spoken softly, and had given each of the girls a warm hug, with a smile. But all Simi had been able to see were the simple clothes…and the outstretched hand.

***

When Eitan Braun, a talmid in the Kletzkin yeshivah in Netivot, entered the yeshivah office with some papers his rebbi had asked him to bring there, and saw Rabbi Goldberg sitting at his desk, poring over papers with lots of numbers on them, he thought it was only natural. Of course the yeshivah administrator would be working on payments or accounts of some type. But when he came in for the second time that day, with some more sheets, and saw Rabbi Goldberg in the exact same position, that was already strange.

“Is everything alright?” he dared to ask, as he put the extra mareh mekomos sheets from the shiur room into the sheimos box.

“B’ezras Hashem, it will be okay,”

Rabbi Goldberg said with a sigh. “Something is bothering me a little, but…it’s alright. One minute,

Eitan, remind me where you live?”

“In Yerushalayim. Why? Is there a problem with my parents’ tuition payments?”

“No, no, their payments are fine. Although a drop in the ocean, compared to what the yeshivah needs.” Rabbi Goldberg chuckled mirthlessly. “But tell me, where in Yerushalayim do you live?”

“Rechov Emek Refaim.”

“I remembered something like that.” The administrator’s voice suddenly took on an urgency. “Do you know a Yid named Michoel Perl?”

“Sure,” Eitan said. “I see him a lot. When he’s in Israel, I mean…”

“When he’s in Israel?”

“He’s American. He often travels for long periods of time. His whole family probably lives in America.”

“His family?” A crease appeared above Rabbi Goldberg’s right eye. “I don’t think he has any close family. To the best of my recollection, he has only one niece in Israel. Maybe distant relatives…? I don’t know. In any case, listen, Eitan.” He put a hand on the bachur’s shoulder. “Pick up a phone today and call home. Ask your father if he’s seen Michoel Perl around recently, okay? I need him urgently, and I can’t reach him.”

“Sure, no problem,” Eitan replied, rather puzzled.

The administrator remained at his

desk, one hand on his forehead. The yeshuah would come, b’ezras Hashem. They’d gotten mired in huge debts before, more than once, and baruch Hashem, they’d always managed to get out. But how would it happen now? All the sources that he usually obtained money from were not noge’a right now; he’d maxed them all out. Perl was the only one he hadn’t spoken to for nearly half a year.

Rabbi Goldberg shuffled his papers. The most important one here was the yeshivah’s electric bill. They had to pay that one as soon as possible; they were nearing a cutoff. The mashgiach’s family was trying to arrange some loans, and in three days, some of the parents’ direct debit payments would be remitted, giving him a few more days of grace. But what would come after that?

Where are you, Michoel Perl? What we need now is something like one hundred thousand shekels, similar to the grant you gave me during the yeshivah’s early years. At the time, the donation was what put the yeshivah on its feet. Now I need much more, but even one hundred thousand shekels will give me some breathing space… It wasn’t only metaphorical. If they’d cut off the electricity, and the air conditioning wouldn’t work, the yeshivah could quite possibly have to shut down.

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Saturday הבוש ,ךליו ,תבש

10:47

1:20

4:52

12:45

6:37

Sunday וניזאה ,גאטנוז

October 2

10:48

1:20

4:51

12:45

6:36

ז ירשת

ז"וס

10:47

1:21

4:56

12:46

6:42

Thursday

September

10:47

Photo Credit: JDN E:

Pupa Rebbe visits the Construction of the New Pupa Shul on South Cole in Monsey

Rabonim of The Eida Charedis visiting Esrogim and Hadasim Fields

ICA celebrated the first graduation of their Masters in early childhood and BCBA Programs in conjunction with Niagara University sponsored by Encore Support Services.

Photo

Hagaon Rabbi Berl Povarsky Rosh Yeshivas Ponevez visiting Esrogim Fields

Rabbi

Noraim in

Photo

Photo

and

at Haturas Nedurim Erev Rosh Hashanah

Photo

Rosh Hashanah

,ןסינעטנעק

ךיז טאה טייקליטש-אש א טביירש רעלפּאק .רעמיצ-שראפ ן'פיוא סאוו ץארט ,לכיב ןייז ןיא ןציטאנ עכילטע טאה רע זא טגיטכעדראפ קראטש ןיב ךיא גיטכיוו טשינראג ןוא טראד טלקריפעג םתס .ןבירשראפ טכאנייב טכא ןיוש טזייוו רעגייז רעד ןעוו

עשיטילאפּ

1938 ראי ןופ טסבראה"

ךיא ביוא ןסיוו טלאוועג

טדימש ןופ קנאדעג םעד ךוב

טשינ

,ץאלפּ-טעברא ,ןעגנוניולאב ןוא ןעגנולאצאב .טשינ סאוו ןוא םיתב-ילעב ןבאה רעגייז-טנאוו םענופ ךעלרעזייוו יד ןעוו טרעדנואוועג ךיז ךיא באה ,ףניפ ףיוא ןזיוועג רעבא .ןטלאהפיוא אד ךימ ןלעוו ייז ןעוו זיב עלא ןלייצראפ ןוא ןדער ךימ טזאל רעלפּאק טכוזעג באה ךיא סאוו געט יד ןופ ןלאטעד ןוא טעברא ןופ טניירפ ,טעברא טראס ,טעברא .טעברא רעד ייב ןסעגעג באה ךיא סאוו וליפא ייווצ ערעדנא יד ןפראוו טייצ וצ טייצ ןופ ןיירא ךיוא ,דלאבייז ןוא טדימש ,סעפּלאמ סרעפטנע עניימ ןיא עסערעטניא יד .סעגארפ ןעוו :סעזאפ ייווצ ייב טקראטשעג ךיז ןבאה -ץלאה ןיימ רעביא טלייצראפ ייז באה ךיא םעניא טעבראעג באה ךיא ןעוו ןוא טעברא טנגערעג תולאש יד ןבאה ןאד .קירבאפ-רעגייז .רעדלעוו-עשיפּארט ןיא יוו טפּעשרע ןרעוועג ןיוש ןיב ךיא ןעוו ,9:30 ןטנקירטעגסיוא ןא טימ ןוא גיטסייג ןוא שיזיפ .עיסעס

Narratives

Inspirations

The Rebbe Knows

A bachur from Kiryas Yoel, Monroe was in Monsey late one afternoon. Just a day earlier, he had purchased a Smartphone and it nestled in his pocket as if it truly belonged there. Moishy (not his real name) stepped into the Vizhnitz Beis Medrash for Ma’ariv and a surge of inspira tion suddenly welled up within him.

“That’s it!” he thought, with the words of his siddur dancing before his eyes. “I’m giving up my new device. I know it’s not good for me, and I’m going to get rid of it.”

He immediately translated thought to action, and the Smartphone was discarded right then and there.

Moishy couldn’t miss the ex citement amidst the mispall elim, as they discussed the great event taking place that night. The Rebbe’s grandchild was get ting married, and it was bound to be a lively, inspiring affair.

“When the Rebbe leaves to the wedding, I’ll grab the opportu nity to wish ‘mazel tov’,” Moishy decided. “I never met the Rebbe in person. I won’t let this chance slip through my fingers!”

As the Vizhnitz Monsy Rebbe [zt”l] headed toward the wed ding celebration, Moishy joined the others who had gathered to wish the Rebbe ‘mazel tov’. The Rebbe took his hand for a quick

handshake, as is the norm, but then something strange hap pened.

The Rebbe held Moishy’s hand between both of his hands and pulled it close to his heart. Then, the Rebbe kissed Moishy’s hand. Moishy was shocked. Everyone who witnessed this unusual oc currence was equally taken aback. The Rebbe did this only for his grandchildren. Why did this unknown bochur merit such a loving gesture?

“Come here,” a gabbai whis pered to Moishy. “What was that all about? This has never hap pened before.”

Moishy knew why he had merited such special, loving treatment. The device he had thrown out earlier that night was the secret behind the special warmth he had merited.

But he didn’t want to share the information just yet. “I know why the Rebbe did it,” Moishy told the curious gabbai. “But I’m sorry. I don’t want to discuss it.”

That was it. The onlookers of this unusual event were left with question marks, while Moishy returned home with an intense feeling of joy. He had decided to get rid of his brand-new Smart phone despite its allure, and the Rebbe – with his pure heart –had discerned the sacrifice Moishy had made.

A short while later, Moishy shared the story with friends in Kiryas Yoel. He described how he got rid of his Smartphone, and how the Rebbe had envel oped him in love and warmth mere moments later.

It was a decision he never re gretted.

Boggle your mind (not your computer)

Parsha Puzzle

ACROSS

1 Things to do

6 Police patrols

11 Banking machine

14 Severe pain

15 Spooky

16 Also

17 S-O-S for teshuvah

19 Addition answer

20 Some VISA cards

21 January test

23 Lawyer’s test

24 Air conditioner alternative

25 Simple

26 Like latkes

29 Japanese sash

31 Something to chew on

33 Hullabaloo

34 Unsharpened

36 Gardening tool

40 Airport exit

43 Long stories

44 Leg joints

45 Little bit

46 ___ sells sea shells…

48 It grows in ears

49 Dachshunds and terriers

50 Winter garment

53 Imitate

55 Nighttime

57 Thoroughly

59 Safe for consumption

62 Do away with

63 Proper place for teshuva

66 Talk nonsense

67 Private teacher

68 Tiny traces

69 Holocaust diarist Frank

70 Chicken pox signs

71 Lock of hair

DOWN

1

Blacktop substance

2 Old

A few

4 Like some 44-Across

5 Middle East country

6 Honey makers

7 Euro issuers

8 Fragrant odor

9 News

10 Flower’s beginning

11 Like a boat afloat

12 Trips to foreign lands

13 Baby’s first word, often

18 Leisurely walk

22 Lure

24 CPA’s field of experience

26 Rower’s needs

Yom Kippur Puzzle

Unscramble the circled letters to discover the "LINK" to Yom Kippur!!

This is the time to look back and atone, For negative deeds that we may have shown.

27 Concept

28 Pre-upsherin hair, many times

30 It stops here

32 Utilizes

34 Strike down

35 Blackberry phone

37 Car

38 Shlep

39 All’s well that ____ well…

41 One of the five senses

42 Correct a problem

47 Finishes everything on the plate

49 One who owes money

Approximately

Veggie that is often sautéed

52 Available upgrade

Shapshot

56 Go to a friend’s house

Gently touches

Makes a mistake

60 Tardy

61 Airport postings

Decay

Curved letter

A person in Rockland County, New York was recently diagnosed with polio (poliomyelitis), a viral infection caused by the poliovirus.

The poliovirus is dangerous and can cause permanent paralysis or death. It is also very contagious and can spread quickly among people who are not immunized. People who are not immunized can get polio at any age.

The most important way for children and adults to protect themselves and their communities is to get immunized right away if they have not received all recommended polio vaccine doses.

Poliovirus is most often spread through stool from an infected person on hands or objects. It is also possible to spread the virus through saliva and respiratory droplets. Frequent handwashing, especially after using the bathroom and after changing diapers, is very important.

Children should get four doses of poliovirus vaccine starting at age 2 months. People starting the vaccine series after age 4 should receive a total of three doses.

Contact your health care provider immediately if you or your children are not immunized. If you need help nding a provider, call 311.

KIDS LINK

By: Esther S.

Weekly Story

R’ Hillel M’Kalameia once heard of a rich Yid in his town who had a lot of money from digging for oil. He wasn’t careful, and let his gentile workers work there on Shabbos.

R’ Hillel went to the Yid and warned him that if he will continue letting his workers work on Shabbos, he will stop getting oil from his digging.

And so it was, a few weeks later, he could not get any more oil.

The rich Yid went to R’ Izik'l of Zidichov, and asked him for a Bracha that his oil should keep on coming. R’ Izik'l gave a Bracha, and the man was happy to return home to keep on digging for oil.

After a few weeks, his oil stopped coming again. Again he went to R’ Izik'l, got another Bracha, and returned home.

This repeated itself 3 times.

The 3rd time R’ Izik'l asked him to tell him what’s going on. When the Yid admitted that R’ Hillel M’Kalameia had warned him, R’ Izik'l said that he will only give him a Bracha if he promises not to have workers on Shabbos.

Cartoon Corner

“The measure of intelligence is the ability to change”

By: Esther S.

KIDSLINK

You Know

Canada eats more macaroni and cheese than any other nation in the world.

Snakes can help predict earthquakes. They can sense a coming earthquake from 75 miles away, up to five days before it happens.

When cellophane was invented in 1908, it was originally intended to be used to protect tablecloths from wine spills.

Corner

A friend is a heart full of love, A warm place to go, A supportive hug, A non-judgmental soul, A happy-to-see-you smile, When you drop in, To visit for a while.

New research shows that bees can be trained to tell the difference between odd and even numbers. Before this, humans were the only ones known to have this ability.

“Don't let rejection create self-doubt”

Riddles

With pointed fangs I sit and wait; with piercing force I crunch out fate; grabbing victims, proclaiming might; physically joining with a single bite. What am I?

I’m as hard as a rock, but I melt immediately in hot water. What am I?

What can you hold without ever touching or using your hands?

Promises.

stapler.

A Friend Is….

A friend is accepting, Of faults and fears, Lending their wisdom, And their ears, Always listening with concern, And drying our tears, Where we’re tired and hurt.

A friend is you, It’s who you are, So warm, so caring, With a giving heart, And I’m so glad, More than I can say, To have you as a friend, Everyday.

creativecorner!

Moshe Greenfeld 6.5

Devoiry Desser

Yanky & Avrumy Rabinowicz

Baruch Rosenfeld 8

Nechama Landau

Chaya Suri Lichtenstein 5

Naftuly Jacobs

I F G E

C B H F E I H C B F B C E

D F H G D B H G A A G F I C E A G

A I H B F C G D E

G C B A D E H F I F E D G I H A C B

H A F B D C E G

G C I E A D H F

E D F C H G I B A D B I H G F E A C H A G E C B F I D C F E D A I B G H

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Join Comfort Health as an HCBS coordinator and help children acquire the services they need to gain daily living and coping skills; while ensuring their ongoing success.

Short Term Rentals

BP 13th & 40th, beautiful stunning 3 BDR apt, 2 baths, avail for Yom Kippur & Succos (10/2 10/20), $5k,

Call: 347 714 3163

Short Term Rentals

Ridge Beautiful

Call/Text:917

Short Term Rentals

Apartment Wanted

Call:845 782

Short Term Rentals

Monroe Atzei temorim, furnished

Vacation Rental

Israel Apartments

Vacation Rental

Vacation Rental

Vacation Rental

Vacation Rental

kit, porch, beautiful view, heated pool, near shuls, shopping, beach. Avail weekly Opt of Shabbos food Call/Text: 347 247 4816

Vacation Rental

Vacation Rental

Monsey, Deluxe Suite on Collins

A Sparkling 2 BDR apt avail to rent for the week, weekend or a few

Fresh Linen & towels

Call:347 263 2779

Vacation Rental

Vacation Rental

Monsey House

Apartment Wanted

Vacation Rental

Magnificent, luxurious, 8 BDR, Lg dining/living room, Huge kitchens, bkyds, swing sets, etc. great for your Shabbosim getaways & Simchos Book now for Sukkas! Large sukkah inc. 347 831 6836

Vacation Rental

Vacation Rental

North Miami Beach, 4 BDR villa, large D/R L/R, 2 full bath, priv pool, towels/linen prov, kosher kitchen, walk to shul, beautiful grounds Avail weekday/weekend/Yom Tov Call: 845 662 6980

JOB OPPORTUNITY

Car

Job Opportunity

Job Opportunity

Job Opportunity

Job Opportunity

Job Opportunity

Job Opportunity

Customer

Merchandise for Sale

Merchandise for

breakfront, mint cond

Call:914

Merchandise for Sale

Merchandise for Sale

Merchandise for Sale

for

Apparel For Sale

Apparel For Sale

Apparel For Sale

Apparel

Apparel For Sale

Apparel

Apparel For Sale

Beautiful custom black

maternity, sister

Call/Text: 347 299

Apparel For Sale

Apparel For Sale

Beautiful custom pink gown,

petite,

Call/Text:718 974

Apparel For Sale

Beautiful

347

Apparel For Sale

Apparel For Sale

For

Apparel

Apparel For

Apparel For

Electrician

HANDYMAN

Music

SIMCHA

Music

Music

Music

Found

Found

Found

Found

SEEKING

Found

Seeking

SEEKING

Seeking

GEMACHIM

Advocacy Therapy Services

Gemach Advocate to assist w/ obtaining P3, SETSS, SEIT or related therapy services. 551-236-3578

Baby Bassinet Gemach Call for availability. 347-228-9222

Baby Bassinet Gemach Beautiful brass iron baby bassinet for your simcha. 646-493-4338

Baby Bassinet Gemach Chana Zissel

Chasdei

Williamsburg. 718-237-8715

Baby Gemach (BP) Car seats, Snap & Go stroller, Pack ‘n Play, white bassinet for newborns. 718-854-6829

Baby Carrier Gemach Baby Bjorn-great for vacation & touring. 718-809-9707

Baby Gemach Segula for easy birth from the Kuznitzer Magid. 917-514-9461

Baby Formula Gemach Donate / receive baby formula. 718-782-5145

Baby Formula Gemach Donate / receive Neocate baby formula.

Leave Message: 347-385-9188

Baby Scale Gemach In Williamsburg. Text: 347-675-9509

Baby Scale Gemach 718-435-5257

Baby Scale Gemach Located in BP. 718-633-9266 or 718-473-5268

Bentcher Gemach

Bentchers for simchas, no charge.

718-972-8181

Bed Gemach

Having guests? Need extra bed? Luxury folding beds. Call for availability. 405-345-6831

Bilkelech Gemach

Fresh heimishe bilkelech,

347-228-9222

Boot Gemach

Children boots. Donate gently used children’s boots. 718-4357848

Box Gemach

Borrow up to 100 cardboard boxes for moving. 3 sizes: for books, dishes & clothing. 347-962-1509 / yachnesy@ gmail.com

Bridal Accessory Gemach

Gorgeous headpieces, veils, dektichlach. Min cost. BP. 347-680-1701

Bridal Chuppah Card Gemach Beautiful Tefillah cards for a Chuppah. Free. Kensington. 347-675-0096

Bridal Headpiece/Shoe Gemach

Crowns, veils, long veils & dektich, shoes, petticoats. Min fee. 718-551-8714

Bridal Headpiece Gemach Beautiful selection, Flatbush. 718-737-1844

Bridal Cape Gemach

Beautiful mink capes. White for kallah. Black for mother. Free of charge.

Willi: 718-387-7122/347-5816400

BP: 718-633-3659/917-683-5557

Bridal Cape Gemach

Brand new luxurious fur capes for chuppah.

718-633-8261

Bridal Cape Gemach Cape & headcover set for chuppah & mitzvah tanz. Lace & fur, $20. 718-438-6250

Bridal Cape Gemach

Lace (x fur), white & off-white capes for chuppah / mitzvah tantz.

BP: 718-782-2869

Williamsburg: 718-599-0224

Bridal Cape Gemach

Luxurious white fur capes, fresh for chuppah. Black fur capes avail for mother. 718-437-2873

Bridal Cape Gemach White fur capes for chuppah. 718-218-8124

Bridal Chuppah Tefillah Card Gemach Tehillim, techinos & special tefillah for chosson/kallah. Many locations.

Lv Msg/Text: 347-885-5114

Bridal Shoe/Sneaker Rental All sizes. Many styles. White/ black. 917-936-8997

Bridal Shoe Gemach Dance in comfort. White wedge sneakers. Free. Call/Text: 718-755-8105

Bridal Shoe Gemach White kallah shoes. Free. 718-435-1950 or 201-686-1764

Bridal Yom Hachupah Gemach Seder Yom Hachuppah in Yiddish now avail in BP. 718-435-3492

Bridal Yom Hachupah -Kol Tefilos Gemach

Beautiful tefilos pamphlet to rent for the Chuppah. Donations to Yad Batya L’kallah. Rochel: 718-258-0415 Chaya: 718-986-0594

Bridal Yom Hachupah Gemach Machzor Lyom Hachuppah. Nusach Sfard & Ashkenaz. 718-837-8853

Bridal Yom Hachupah Gemach BP, Seder Yom Hachupa for Kallahs. 718-972-1892

Briefcase Gemach Grt cond & washed clean. Drop off anytime: 940 45th St.

For P/U, Call: 718-436-0936

Bris Gemach Complete package. Lv Msg/Text: 347-461-4925

Bris Gemach

Beautiful bris outfit, poya, pillow & tefillos. Delivery & P/U in BP only. Call/Text: 347-244-2065

Bris Gemach

Beautiful bris set. Washed & clean. Stunning vach nacht outfit. 718-633-3659 or 917-683-5557

Bris Gemach

Bris pillow from the holy Harav Kanievsky. 646-492-9952

Bris Gemach Bris outfits & pillow. Flatbush. 917-838-2191

Bris Gemach New bris pillow & outfit. 718-435-0664

Bris Gemach Poyas, pillows, bris outfits. BP: 718-435-7221-15th & 57th BP: 718-871-5467-12th & 41st Williamsburg: 718-599-5508

Bris Gemach

Nice poyas, pillows & suits for bris. 718-871-7902

Bris Zichron Mordechai Gemach

Bris outfit w/ pillow. Tefillah for bris. Pidyon Haben outfit. Much more. Call/Text: 347-794-1278

Bris Gemach

Take away yellowness of baby before bris, Segula stone avail to be used 4 days before bris. 718-710-8483

Bris Gemach

Cards w/ tefilah to be mispalel while baby cries which is ais ratzon. 718-510-5521

Bris Gemach Free Mohel 347-383-5696

Bris Gemach Chusheva Mohel. Free of charge. Will pay for seudas bris. 347-447-9947

Bris Gemach

Free Mohel service for people in need. Lv msg will return call same day: 646-637-5092

Bris Gemach Chasdei Zev

Bris outfit & pillow free of charge. 917-607-3914

Car Seat Gemach

Front seat occupants & children under 16 in front/back seats must buckle up. Children under 8 must be buckled in appropriate child restrained system. It’s the law.

Williamsburg: 718-384-4622 Monroe: 845-774-2425 BP: 917-468-7557

Car Seat Gemach

Zichron Gedalya

Car, infants & booster seats. 718-438-5451

CCC Crohn’s Colitis Coalition

A div of Chaim Medical Resource. Counseling, referrals, seminars, SCD food gemach & more. Free shiurim, chizuk, news, updates, valuable resources. 718-480-5555

Chair & Table Gemach

Call or Text: 347-452-0442

Chair & Table Gemach

7 Folding tables, 24 chairs, coat racks. 718-431-0851

Chair Gemach

12 Chairs to lend. Williamsburg. 718-802-9755

Chair-Up Gemach

10 Comfortable black folding chairs. No charge. Call: 718-853-4966

Chavrusa Gemach

Donate 10% of your time, volunteer to be a chavrusa w/ homebound yid. BP/Williamsburg/Flatbush. 718-438-7871 / Eve: 718-6922898

Chocolate Mold Gemach

BP: 718- 972-4768 Williamsburg: 718-522-3445

Clothing Gemach

Donate clothes, shoes, linens. Great cond only. Call/Text/WhatsApp: 347-8166406

Clothing Gemach

Seeking ladies clothing, linen, towels, wigs, cz jewelry etc. Helping out Almanos, Kallahs & all those in need! Please Call: 929-276-2404

Coat Rack Gemach Zichron Shlome

Coat racks to lend for any occasion. 718-854-0900

Doona Gemach

Brklyn. Doona avail for medical reason/short period of time. Call: 260-366-6293

Doula - Dona Certified Min fee.

917-627-3282

Doula Services

Exp, extra special price.

Call: 718-781-5385

Dr. Sarno Book Gemach

Book has helped thousands heal from backache, eczema, stomach issues, etc.

347-461-7330

Hat Gemach

Beautiful, updated hats for simchas, small fee. Donate elegant hats. 347-351-1604

Flood Gemach Dehumidifiers & commercial wet vacs. Flatbush. Call/Text: 347-628-3109

Furniture & Appliance Gemach Menadvim - donate & receive furniture, appliances, toys & more.

718-MENADVIm (636-2384)

Glassware Gemach

Fruit & salad bowls, cake trays, mirror trays, vases, tea lights, candy dishes, cookie jars & plates. Glass shelves. 718-854-3017

Haircut Gemach

Beautiful haircuts for girls. Min fee. 929-290-6568

Hairstyling Gemach

All occasions. Free.

Lv Msg/Text: 347-948-5701

Hair Styling Gemach

Professional. For kallah & family. Min cost.

Henny: 718-851-9058

Hospital Tznius Nightgown Gemach 347-786-2330

Hospital Bed Capes

To be worn over a hospital gown.

Williamsburg: 718-852-7477

BP: 718-438-1882

Hospital Gown Gemach Bensonhurst. 718-259-0143

Hospital Gown Gemach Chasdei Miriam. 2 hospital gown styles.

15th & 51st: 718-853-3187

12th & 54th: 718-871-3741

13th & 38th: 718-633-2392

19th & 50th: 718-951-1892

Hospital Gown Gemach

Tznius hospital gowns in compliance w/ hosp req. 718-851-2418

Hospital Gown Gemach

Tznius hospital nightgowns in compliance w/ hospital requirements. 718-625-0161/347-998-8455

Infant Massage Gemach

Lessons on how to perform skilled massage to soothe & calm babies. 347-753-1071

Invitation Gemach

We’ll email-blast your wedding invitation to your email list on the day of the wedding. 646450-4608

Ladies Clothing/Shoes Gemach

New ladies clothing & shoes for needy ladies. 718-974-9428

Laptop Gemach

Donate an old yet functioning laptop to help build skills of special needs kids. 646-543-6224 laptopgemach@gmail.com

Lighting Gemach

Lighting bars avail to greatly enhance your event. Min fee. 929-276-2404

Linen Gemach

Having company & short on linen? 718-853-4934

Maternity Coat Gemach

New/gently used maternity coats, $50. Deposit returned. Accepting donations. maternitycoatgemach@gmail. com

Call/Text 7-9PM: 718-635-1710

Maternity Simcha Gemach Gowns/dresses. Call for appt. Also, looking to buy current, elegant maternity gowns/ dresses. 1325 56th • 718-871-2005

Medical Gemach Donate/receive. Pediatric wheelchairs, walker-shower seat, cast cover for shower, crutches. 718-388-3079

Medical Gemach

Medical Advice & Support Call: 646-239-7319

Email: Mybobbi2@Yahoo.com

Mezuzos Gemach 718-666-7222

Mezuzos / Tefilin Gemach Hasofer of BP 1640-49 / 718-437-7078

Mother’s Milk Gemach Donate/receive mother’s milk. Leave Message: 718-258-0532

Music Gemach – Simchas Freida

Music & sound equipment. Keyboard, speaker, mike & mixer. 845-459-4226

Musical Kumzitz Gemach Treat your friends/talmidos to a musical kumzitz. Nashir B’yachad: 347-543-2195

Nursing Lingerie Conversions Gemach Min Fee. B. Estersohn: 718-437-0428

Otzer Haseforim Gemach Free copies of seforim

718-388-3085

Oz Vehadar Levusha Gemach Segula Nifla for any Yeshuah: Oz Vehadar Levusha, 40 booklets for 40 days. Call/Text: 347-372-5115

Pack ‘n’ play Gemach (BP) Call in the eve: 718-851-1017

Party Planning Gemach Simchas Rochel. Party planning for your Shabbos simcha, free. 347-385-9090

Pidyan Haben Coin Gemach 5 - 1oz pure silver dollars. Yachov Friedman: 646-419-0782

Pidyon Haben Gemach

Baskets for garlic & pillow, tray, etc. 718-851-7964

Pidyan Haben Gemach

Zichron Meir V’Liba

All Pidyan Haben needs incl coins & organza bags. 718-252-1517

Pidyan Haben Gemach

Custom design Pidyan Haben box. Frilly w/ blanket & pillow incl. 718-633-3659/917-683-5557

Power Tool Gemach

Call/Text: 718-813-3479

Project Hour Blessing

Volunteer to assist mothers of multiples w/ baby care. 718-438-9013

Projector Gemach

Projectors for simchos, parties & gatherings. Min fee. Call Only: 347-631-1768 1718abcdefg@gmail.com

Pump Gemach

New Medela pumps avail short term. 718-853-2382

Pump Gemach

Long/short term electric pumps & hospital grade pumps. 718-436-3919

Pump Gemach Gemach in Eretz Yisroel looking for pumps. 718-207-2362

Proposal Gemach

Props: Table, chairs, red carpet, champagne flutes. Brooklyn: 347-628-6079 Lakewood: 347-933-3399

Rabbi Avigdor Miller Gemach

BP. Borrow any Rabbi Miller sefer, free! TorasAvigdor.org/info@ torasAvigdor.org/732-844-3670

Reflector Belt Gemach

Stay safe while walking or biking. Leave Message: 718-853-4966

Relationship Gemach Communication w/ direction with you, family & friends. 347-753-1071

Robe Gemach

Donate robes in perfect cond. 718-645-6715 or 718-866-5878

Seuda Challah

Fresh seuda challah for bris seuda/seudas mitzvah. 718-871-3020

Shadchan - Matchmaker Zivug Shainee Only. Strictly confidential. Rabbi Goldstein Rav of Onod: 718-384-5812 or 917-747-0964

Shalom Bayis MP3 Gemach Beautiful speeches in Yiddish on shalom bayis & chinuch on MP3. 718-871-4506

Sheitel Gemach

Donate sheitels to gemach in Eretz Yisroel. 718-837-5091

Sheitel Gemach

Donate wigs to a gemach in Eretz Yisroel. 347-675-6526

Sheitel Gemach

Wigs wash & set, repairs, cut & recut, half price. 718-256-0979

Sheitel Gemach Accepting/donating wigs in good condition. 314-780-4583

Shtreimel Gemach Shtreimel avail, short term. Refundable deposit requested. Leave Message: 718-851-2790

Simcha Accessories Gemach Challah deklach, linen napkins, napkin rings. Gemach Zichron Freida Call/Text: 347-558-6050

Simcha Challah Cover Gemach

Beautiful challah covers for your simcha. Williamsburg. 718-802-9755

Simcha Gemach Bechers, challah covers for Simchas. 718-435-4844

Simcha Gemach

Glass bowls & trays to lend. No fee. l”n Shprintza bas Sara Nechuma 718-871-0860

Simcha Gemach White cubbies for miniature cakes, white ceramic square cake stand & 2 rose bowls, etc for sweet table.

917-536-1742

Simcha Gemach YBZ Beautiful bechers & challah covers. 718-972-1873

Simcha Flower Gemach Donate/receive fresh flowers to enhance another simcha. 347-907-0450

Song Gemach Listen daily to the songs of tzadikim listed in order of yartzeit on Kol Dodi Dofeik. 718-989-6844/845-351-1115 x17

Suppers For Kimpeturins

Fresh hot suppers for kimpeturins & family, delivered by 3:00 in BP, 4:00 in Willi. Min fee. Hashgacha. 718-964-8057

Tablecloth Gemach

6 Crushed velvet pretty blue tablecloths for upsherin/party. 347-598-2927

Tefilin Gemach 917-337-7484

Tehillim Hachida Gemach Segulah for parnassah, zivug & all yeshuos. Get Tehillim Hachida for 40 days. 718-435-8789

Tichel Gemach Silk Tichlech. Donate / receive tichlech in good cond. 718-854-1514

Tutor Gemach Chasdei Chaim Discount tutoring for all subjects & levels. 347-962-1509 / yachnesy@ gmail.com

Twin Carriage Gemach Lend / rent a twin carriage for week, season or yr. Mint cond only. 718-522-3891

Twin Baby Clothing Gemach Receive / donate baby clothing, newborn - sz 2, brand new cond. (Specializing in layette). Call/Text R. Bornstein: 347-7427189

Water Pump Gemach Flood? Water pump, 50’ hose. (No solids.) 718-633-1850

Wedding Kit Gemach

All accessories for kallah/ chosson’s family for wedding night. L”N Perel Gela Bas R’ Shloima BP: 718-633-0510 or 718-4355193

Monsey: 845-425-2036 or 347351-2947

Wedding Boys Suit Gemach Yismach Yisrael • Sz 9M-8 yrs • 1943 50th St. 347-462-4596

Wedding Cap Gemach

Huge selection & variety of colors & styles. Sun, 4-6 pm. 718-633-1084

Wedding Wreath GemachFlower Buds (Linked w/ cap gemach). Magnificent wreaths for your princess. 718-633-1084

Wedding Gown Gemach

Crown Heights, for teens/adults. By Appt Only. Call/Text: 347-770-4136 Quick Scheduling: gowngmach. com

Wedding Machteiniste Gown Gemach

Gowns in beautiful cond. Donate/book an appt. 646-250-9755 or 917-588-6377

Wedding Shtick GemachMesamchim Exquisite & unique designs! Call/Text: 347-407-1964

Wedding Shtick Gemach Kallah Tumblers. Personalized kallah cups. 631-861-4536 or 347-846-8276 kallahtumblers@gmail.com

Wedding Shtick Gemach

Beautiful arches & more. Min fee & deposit req. 917-862-6087

Wedding Shtick Gemach Arches & other shtick. Min fee. Lv Msg; 347-939-2916

Wheelchair Gemach Wheelchair avail short term. 718-633-7708

Wig Gemach - Brooklyn

Accepting human hair wig donations. Any length / color, wearable cond. Drop off / Pick Up Call Berta: 917-474-4305

Working Papers Gemach Free, for Youth Corp. 718-854-0961

Murals by the foot

Sukkah perfectly

murals