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the Dream

Wedding By: Shoshana Chaimsohn Perry was rushing down 13th Avenue, a slightly crazed look in her eye. She nearly bumped into the woman in front of her.

perfect job. You know what a shlep it is every time to go all the way to Manhattan? And then I come home, and…” Perry let her voice trail off mysteriously.

“Oh, excuse me,” she said breathlessly as she caught herself. Then she did a double-take. “Chumi?” she gasped.

“And what happens?”

“Hello to you to,” her sister laughed. “Why do you look like someone’s chasing you?”

“Oy, Chumi, don’t you know that I’m making chasunah in less than three weeks?!” Perry exclaimed as she raised her shopping bags for emphasis. “What else would I be doing except running around like a chicken without a head?”

Chumi tsk-tsked. She brushed a stray baby hair from her sheitel off her forehead and adjusted the chambray hood on her Bugaboo so that it was covering her baby better.

“Listen, you need to stop stressing out so much.

Everything’s gonna happen in the right time, even without all your worrying and hurrying.”

Perry sighed deeply. “I wish. You can’t imagine what kind of a headache the girls’ gowns are,” she opened her eyes huge. “It’s not to be believed how many hours we already spent by Mina, making sure she’s doing a

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Perry looked at her sister closely. “I’m so relieved that it’s finally over, and I fall asleep as soon as I hit the pillow. And then I start having nightmares. Last night I dreamed that the zipper on Devoiry’s gown popped open in the middle of the chasuna.”

Chumi laughed out loud. “Oh, Perry, you’re a riot!

Listen, let’s hope none of your nightmares come true.”

“Amen.” Perry said solemnly. “Anyway, I don’t have time to schmooze, I’m meeting Chaya Ruchy at the apartment soon.”

“Ooh, the kallah herself. Hatzlacha!” Chumi watched her sister waddle off, weighed down by her bags and what seemed like a huge load of wedding nerves. Perry was marrying off her oldest daughter and it seemed like her stress levels were through the roof. * * She couldn’t figure out what was going on. The waiters were circulating on the dance floor, handing out bowls of soup. The choices were just what she had requestedvegetable and butternut squash. But why was everyone

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standing around and holding their bowls?

This hall was so disorganized. Couldn’t they even put out tables and chairs for her guests? Perry wanted to disappear in sheer embarrassment. She tried to stop a passing waiter, but he pretended she was invisible.

Just then, Perry saw her daughter Devoiry pass by. She looked beautiful in her black and white gown, though Perry was confused because she had thought that they were doing blue in the end. She tried to call Devoiry’s name, to tell her that it was time to take pictures, but nothing came out of her throat.

Where was the kallah? Perry ran out of the hall to call the chosson and kallah. It was time for them to come in. But when she got to the yichud room, the hall manager solemnly informed her that it was locked.

She looked at him in disbelief, about to give him a piece of her mind. But suddenly, her daughter appeared wearing her white gown. Everyone was dancing in circles around the beaming kallah, Chaya Ruchy. But why wasn’t Chaya Ruchy dancing with her mother first?

Tears of frustration stung Perry’s eyes as she watched her dream chasunah going completely wrong. This wasn’t how things were supposed to be! But before she could do anything, the hall erupted in screaming. All the proper older women dancing in a ladylike circle at the edge of the dancing stumbled over their high heels as they tried to run away from some unseen foe.

Then Perry saw what they were all escaping: a tiny gray mouse was scurrying across the shiny polished floor.

Perry grabbed her head in her hands. Who ever heard of a mouse at a wedding?! What did this mean for her darling young couple?

“Oh, it was all a dream,” Perry mumbled as she jolted awake. “Baruch Hashem.” She gave a nervous titter as she turned over to her other side. * * “All ready to go?” Perry asked Chaya Ruchy as she grabbed her pocketbook from the hook in the closet.

“Yeah, sure, Mommy,” Chaya Ruchy said placidly.

Perry felt a rush of nachas as she took in her puttogether daughter. Chaya Ruchy was wearing just the perfect touch of makeup on her smooth skin and she had blown her hair that morning and put it in a trendy clip. As nervous as her mother was, that was how

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calm Chaya Ruchy was, going about her daily routine without getting distracted by the million and one errands that had to be taken care of.

“Our appointment is at twelve, but you know how sheitel machers run,” Perry said as they briskly walked to their first stop of the day. Sunday was a day off for both of them, which meant cramming every second with important things to take care of.

“Yeah,” Chaya Ruchy laughed. “We can probably stop in the café for lunch and still not be late.”

Perry’s eyes lit up. “That is such a great idea, Chaya Ruchy!” she said excitedly. “We’ll have lunch while we wait.”

Chaya Ruchy shrugged in agreement.

Indeed, Esty the sheitel macher was still on her first customer of the day, who had been scheduled for eleven.

“We’ll be back,” Perry told Esty gaily. She shepherded her daughter out the door. When was the last time she’d spent precious time with her oldest, who would soon be leaving her cozy nest? Perry swallowed the ever-present emotions. She got teary-eyed every time she thought about it.

Mother and daughter ordered scooped-out bagels (there were gowns to think about after all,) salads and iced coffees.

“When was the last time I sat down to eat something like a normal person?” Perry sighed.

“Before I got engaged,” Chaya Ruchy answered with a mischievous twinkle in her eye. “Since then, I think you stopped breathing more than once a day.”

Perry chuckled and eyed her daughter fondly. At least there was a reason for all the craziness. Her big girl was getting married! But it was true-she didn’t remember the last time she had sat down calmly with a cup of coffee. Lately, she was on adrenalin from morning to night.

“It feels like a dream,” Chaya Ruchy said, her eyes filled with stars. “I can’t believe it’s really happening!”

Perry swallowed, remembering the nightmarish scenes that had filled her dreams last night.

“As long as it’s a pleasant dream,” she murmured. *

*

245

A Mitzvah Tantz is once in a lifetime.

Make it memorable.

Leiby Moskowitz Yiddish/English Badchen

347-385-5905 @LeibyMoskowitz

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Leiby Moskowitz

FEB.2.2022

Soft music was playing as Perry walked through the door of the hall. It was so relaxing to walk into an affair that someone else had worried about. And most of all, it was such a relief that the chasunah was over already…

already perfectly highlighted and styled, arranged on their heads on a shelf in Chaya Ruchy’s apartment.

Slowly, her mind cleared and her heart rate slowed.

Everything was fine. All the chasunah prep was going amazing.

But wait. What was this? Why was Chaya Ruchy standing in the hallway with a long, flowing sheitel cascading down her back?! It looked like a completely raw wig, straight from the box

But the panic she’d felt as she “saw” her daughter in that uncut wig still bubbled inside her. Perry swung her feet over the side of the bed and felt for her slippers. A hot cup of chamomile tea, that’s what she needed.

Perrry made a beeline for her daughter. “Chaya Ruchy!

What’s up with your sheitel?!”

She pulled out a mug and a teabag, when suddenly she felt a presence at the door of the kitchen. Her heart stopped.

Chaya Ruchy looked up at her mother with innocent liquid eyes. She patted the glossy brown hair on her head, and suddenly, it transformed into a perfectly cut straight wig with soft front bangs accentuating her petite face.

Perry breathed a sigh of relief. “Whoa, you got me scared there for a moment, Chaya Ruchy…”

“Don’t worry,” her daughter said smilingly, and suddenly, her face was no longer Chaya Ruchy, but became the face of Esty, the sheitel macher. Why did the phrase sound so familiar?

Perry opened her eyes blearily, trying to figure it out.

Oh, right. She had just been to Esty today together with Chaya Ruchy, and Esty had done a beautiful job cutting her daughter’s wigs, reassuring Perry in that same tone-“Don’t worry”, she had said, over and over.

Because Perry couldn’t help but be worried, of course, as they cut the very expensive wigs.

The chasunah was still in three weeks. This was just another nightmare.

Perry rubbed her eyes. She really didn’t have to worry about Chaya Ruchy’s wigs anymore. Two of them were

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“Hershy!” she breathed, putting her hand on her heart theatrically.

“Why are you up?” her husband asked curiously. “I heard weird noises in the kitchen, so I came to check them out.”

Perry sighed. “I had another nightmare,” she admitted.

“Oh, you can’t imagine how horrified I was! Chaya Ruchy was standing there, by the other side’s Sheva Brachos, with a sheitel that wasn’t cut yet! I didn’t know what to do with myself!”

Hershy burst into uproarious laughter. He laughed so hard that he had to wipe tears from his eyes.

Perry watched him try to catch his breath and donned a slightly injured expression.

“You and your meshugassen,” Hershy said when he finally was able to talk. “An uncut sheitel should be your biggest worry.”

Perry stirred her tea. “Amen?” she said, doubtfully.

That picture of the unfinished wig had been truly upsetting, but surely there were worse things.

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“Anyway, I’m going back to sleep so I can talk to my customers like a mentch tomorrow. Sleep well and sweet dreams.” Hershy yawned as he left the kitchen.

Maybe now she actually would have sweet dreams. * * “Can you believe we still don’t have dresses for Shabbos Sheva Brachos?” Perry asked rhetorically as Devoiry walked out of the dressing room in a slimming black outfit. Perry eyed her critically.

“It looks too plain. You’re a kallah moid, you know,” Perry said meaningfully. Her heart gave a little jolt at the thought. Would she ever survive making another chasuna? She wasn’t sure she was going to make it in one piece to Chaya Ruchy’s big night.

“Aww, come on, Ma, I like it,” Devoiry complained.

“Nah, Devoiry, you can get something way nicer,” Chana Malky told her older sister bluntly.

to come. All the stunning pictures they had been dreaming of never happened, and Chaya Ruchy was inconsolable.

Devoiry made a face at her saucy little sister.

When Perry had told Hershy about it, he chuckled.

“What about you, Chana Malky?” Perry remembered.

“Did you try that gray one she brought for you?”

“You’re creative, you know?” he said. “But maybe you need to have all these nightmares so you get over it like that and it doesn’t need to really happen.”

“No, because I want to be coordinating. You and Devoiry are not going to wear gray!”

“Just try it,” Perry said firmly. She didn’t have the energy to deal with Chana Malky’s dramatics.

“I loooove that dress on you!” Devoiry salivated when Chana Malky appeared, preening in front of the mirror.

“It’s not even fully gray,” Perry agreed. “Maybe we can do black for Devoiry and me without looking different.”

They spent the better part of three hours in and out of dressing rooms, analyzing each dress’s potential.

“Look, we need to buy something today,” Perry said with a touch of hysteria in her voice. “I don’t care if you don’t love it, you need something to wear!”

“Amen!” Perry said, fervently this time.

She dearly hoped her husband was right. * * The day of the chasuna dawned bright and sunny.

Perry breathed a sigh of relief as she opened the blinds on the big day. One worry down-the weather looked great.

After that, the day was a blur. Packing everything into the car, including the Be-Prepared-for-EveryEventuality suitcase that included safety pins and a mini sewing kit (in case Devoiry’s zipper tore,) and every family member’s full outfit, was a major hassle.

Her two daughters looked mulish.

“Did you pack your new earrings, Chana Malky?” she called.

“So I can just come in my uniform then,” Chana Malky muttered.

“I’m wearing them already,” Chana Malky replied.

“Don’t give your mother nightmares,” Perry admonished. Her daughter didn’t know just how much she meant it, though.

Perry shuddered as she recalled her dream last night.

The photographer hadn’t shown up at the hall, and they hadn’t been able to find any other photographer

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“Okay, is Yanky’s bag in the car? You packed it, Devoiry, right?”

“Yeah,” Devoiry said, sounding bored.

Perry took a deep breath. “I think we’re ready to go,” she told Hershy.

Everyone piled into the car and Perry tried to steady

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her breathing. They were going to the hall and the trunk was packed with every necessity. The makeup artist and

The perfect bag

hair lady had already been in touch with her. It seemed as if everything was going off without a hitch.

Of course, they discovered that the baby’s bag had been left behind and Hershy had to make another trip to get it, but aside for that, everything flowed.

Chaya Ruchy, Chana Malky, and Devoiry were each transformed under the magical touch of the hairdresser.

an extensive collection of

Then the makeup artist came to wave her wand.

upscale evening handbags

Four-thirty on the button, the photographer arrived and set up his equipment. And Chaya Ruchy was ready, looking like a queen. Perry choked back the inevitable tears as she watched her daughter pose according to the photographer’s instructions.

By the time Perry was sitting at her daughter’s side accepting mazel tov wishes, Perry looked serene and relaxed. It was show time!

“Mazel tov, Perry!” Chumi exclaimed. She had arrived in the hall one of the first. She gave her sister an appraising glance. “You look so calm,” she said in surprise. “Did you take something for your nerves?”

Perry laughed. “Nah. I still can’t believe I’m in one piece!”

The singer showed up a few minutes late and Chana on such a high that it hardly disturbed her. The chasunah was gorgeous, and the kallah was radiant. All the other details she had so obsessed and worried over shrunk into oblivion.

She couldn’t believe it was over when she hugged her

design@nichysilber.com

Malky managed to stain her gown, but Perry was floating

daughter one last time and said goodbye. It felt so anticlimactic.

Soon, she was sitting in the car near Hershy, feeling every bone in her body. Luckily, Devoiry and Chana Malky had packed everything back into the car.

Perry sighed with rapture.

“It was such a perfect wedding,” she said, savoring the words. “It feels like it was all a dream.”

Hershy grinned at her, a mischievous smile lurking at the corners of his lips.

“Maybe it was?” he said.

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T. Rosenberger | 347-450-1314 | 1322 59th St Hrs: S 12-6 M, W, TH: 12-4 (closed Tues) Eve: M & W 8:30 - 10:00

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The final touch

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A fine collection of sterling silver jewelry

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SHARING JoyWith FLOWERS By: Goldy Buxbaum From a rebbe in cheder to a floral connoisseur, Mr. Elbogen is the proprietor of Petal Pride, a flower shop located on New Utrecht Avenue in Boro Park.

He started selling his floral creations twenty-three years ago and has had the privilege of gracing Shabbos, Yom Tov tables, and Simchas ever since.

Everyone wants something different and unique at their Simcha, and one way he achieves it is by staying ahead of the trend.

Mr. Elbogen, when he does something, he does it all the way. From small weekly bouquets to lavish weddings—he does it all.

Unlike most businesses that start small and work their way up, he opened a full-fledged family business when he opened shop.

It makes no difference to him if you come for a modest arrangement or an eccentric centerpiece. Each person is treated as the best customer and equally important.

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So how is it that a rebbe became a florist?

It was pure Hashgacha.

After looking into different business ideas, he knew with certainty that he didn’t want to enter the food industry. Although he was offered many opportunities, he wanted to keep away from hashgachos and the ensuing responsibilities.

However, he knew he wanted to do something. When a relative of his mentioned that a retired floral designer was offering private courses, he decided to try it. One thing led to another, and with Hashem's help, he’s privileged to bring beauty and magnify Simchas, Yom Tov, and Shabbos.

Although flowers are often associated with the last-minute Erev Shabbos errands, flowers play a pivotal role in one of the biggest Simchas in the Jewish world. Every little kid dreams of being a kallah dressed in white surrounded by a dreamy floral backdrop holding her very own delicate bouquet.

Mr. Elbogen of Petal Pride makes those dreams come true.

There are so many different options and floral styles to go with. The trends are constantly evolving and changing.

In the past, you could only purchase flowers that were in season. Nowadays, you can order almost any flower you desire.

Not any flower.

Some are still seasonal such as peonies, amaryllis, blossom branches, and ranunculus.

Sometimes they can be flown in from overseas, but the prices will reflect the extra work to bring them in.

As with everything in life, the standards have changed with the constant updating of props and candelabras. But it’s never a problem since he always has something to fit every taste and budget.

“If you want to know what our most popular choices are,” says Mr. Elbogen, “they're roses, hydrangeas, orchids, mini calla lilies, ranunculus, scabiosa, anemones, and tulips.” Those are available most of the time and make beautiful arrangements.

Faux arrangements have gained popularity as people try to keep the exorbitant costs of weddings down.

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Regardless of who comes into the store, they’re always helped irrespective of their budget. Mr. Elbogen is dedicated to putting together something so their special occasions will be deservingly beautiful.

“Talking about the recent snowstorm brings back memories to the time when there was a massive snowstorm in New York which handicapped the city,” Mr. Elbogen shared with me. The streets weren’t plowed for unknown reasons, making it impossible to navigate. That doesn’t mean that life stops short, and in our lifestyle, we never stop. As it happened, a customer ordered a bridal bouquet with Petal Pride, and the wedding was that night.

Faux flowers can looks just as good

One place where there’s been a slight increase in faux arrangements is when ordering flowers for Shabbos Kallah. Instead of purchasing an arrangement that will die before the new couple starts their life together, many people opt for a fake centerpiece that can adorn their table for quite a few years.

Many people have also started using fake arrangements at weddings versus ordering fresh flowers since it’s significantly cheaper and beautifully done.

It’s not that silk flowers are cheaper. They are more expensive. However, since the arrangements can be used more than once, this offsets the price, making it very affordable.

This family had some vendors cancel on them due to the weather. It was blizzard conditions. The mother of the kallah called and asked if they could please have the bridal bouquet despite the conditions. It wasn’t a question in our minds. We weren’t going to cancel on a kallah on her wedding day. We prepared the bouquet, and my son walked with it carefully for forty-five minutes in knee-deep snow and brought it to our customer.

It’s been over two years since, and this customer is still appreciative of the sacrifices we made on her daughter's special day.

What a memorable story, and, more importantly, it shows the incredible dedication of Mr. Elbogen.

The truth is there is no greater joy than being an active participant in the Simchas of so many beautiful people, even if it means trudging through the snow.

It can sometimes be as much as half the price of fresh flowers, and no one will know.

(Ever been to a wedding where you’re trying to figure out if the flowers are real or not but too polite to pick up your hand and feel them?)

There are definitely some options when making statement centerpieces that fit a budget that doesn’t include fake flowers. One way is to take a showpiece flower and only use two stems with some greenery and put it in a vase that complements the look. When placed in the center of the table, it’ll make heads turn, and the cost won’t burn a hole in your pocket.

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ss e tl r o Eff g n i t s o H

It’s Simcha season. And whether you find yourself with a last-minute Sheva Brachos to host, an Aufruf Kiddush, or even a brunch for the new couple this week, we present you with some fast and delicious ideas to bring it all to life.

Recipes, Styling & Photography: Sarah D. / @stmt.studios 228

FEB.2.2022

THE SALAD BAR

Some greenery from outside and a wooden bowl or vase bring it all together.

Salads are a welcome addition at any Simcha. Especially, when they’re chock full of bright, fresh, and interesting components. Create your own delicious salad bar with salads that need no advance cooking, and can be sliced, diced, and spiralized just in time for your Simcha.

A jute rug serves as an elegant table topper, setting the stage for the woodsy theme.

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Wooden lanterns add a rustic vibe.

Wooden crates & boxes at varying heights create a more visually appealing display.

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Fresh white tableware brightens the earthy tones and adds a modern elegance to the decor.

FEB.2.2022

LOA D E D S W E E T P OTA TO S A L A D W I T H S P I CY M A P L E A I O L I SALAD: Arugula leaves Purple cabbage, chopped Daikon Cress radish sprouts Avocado, sliced White button mushrooms, sliced Sweet potato chips, lightly crushed

BEJEWELED GREENS SALAD

SPICY MAPLE AIOLI: 4 tablespoons mayonnaise 4 tablespoons maple syrup

WITH LEMON PEPPER DRESSING

4-5 cloves garlic, crushed

SALAD:

2 teaspoons Dijon mustard

Purple & green kale leaves Fresh broccoli Cherry tomatoes Chestnuts, cooked & peeled Red radish, sliced thinly Honey glazed nuts Corn nuts

2 teaspoons fresh lemon juice 2 teaspoons sriracha DIRECTIONS: Salad: On a large serving platter, layer all the salad ingredients.

Dressing: In a medium jar, add in all the dressing ingredients and whisk until smooth.

LEMON PEPPER DRESSING: 4 tablespoon extra virgin olive oil 4 tablespoon fresh lemon juice 2 teaspoons sugar 2 teaspoons spicy brown mustard Salt & freshly ground black pepper to taste Directions: Salad: On a large serving platter, layer all the salad ingredients.

Dressing: In a medium jar, add in all the dressing ingredients and whisk or shake until smooth.

The dressing may settle, so make sure to whisk before serving.

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BRIGHT & CRUNCHY WINTER SALAD WITH BALSAMIC HONEY VINAIGRET TE SALAD: Romaine lettuce, chopped English cucumber, sliced Slivered almonds, toasted Spiralized beets Spiralized carrots Cooked chickpeas Green beans, cut in thirds BALSAMIC HONEY VINAIGRETTE: 4 tablespoons honey 2 tablespoon dijon mustard ¾ teaspoon salt 1 teaspoon freshly crushed black pepper finely ground 2 large cloves garlic, crushed ½ cup balsamic vinegar ¾ cup extra virgin olive oil DIRECTIONS: Salad: On a large serving platter, layer all the salad ingredients.

Dressing: In a medium jar, add in all the dressing ingredients and whisk or shake until smooth.

NOTE: for a thicker consistency, blend the dressing with an immersion blender until smooth.

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INGREDIENTS: Cranberry Juice Ginger Ale Orange Juice Lemon slices, cranberries, and maraschino cherries, for garnish DIRECTIONS: Mix equal parts of cranberry juice, ginger ale, and orange juice in a large pitcher (ex. 2 cups each). Divide into flute or martini cups and garnish with lemon slices, cranberries & maraschino cherries. Don’t forget the ice!

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E R ' U O Y D E T I V IN WY

BY R. LO

WeeklyLink.com

We hereby address a daily occurrence, An envelope stuffed with timeless reassurance.

Of Klal Yisroel’s continuity, Stamped with the promise of a new family.

We call it a wedding invitation, Send and received with standard regulation.

Yet behind the text – the information, Lies the secret of our nation!

Each one with a different name, Always different, yet the same.

Chosson, Kallah, time and place, Each unique, yet with one face.

Dear Readers, let’s unite, With the next invite, let’s ‘do it right’.

Sit down, relax, and take our time, And slowly read – between the lines!

See the sights, hear the noise, Behind the words of class and poise.

Look behind the scenes and behold, Watch the silent drama magically unfold!

The days and weeks of preparation, The nachas and the aggravation.

The joys and stress, the heady combination, The race within that invitation!

Hundreds of appointments made, Coordinated, kept, and paid.

Phone calls on so many lines, Endless topics discussed and combined.

Shirts, skirts, petticoat, and gown, Ribbons, lace and the Kallah’s crown.

Twenty different pairs of shoes, Wedding and Sheva Brachos menus.

Painters, Plumbers, electricians, Minor and major decisions.

Floor scraper, Exterminator, Stove, washer, and refrigerator.

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Dry goods, linen, contacts, glasses, CD’s, lectures, Kallah classes.

Pots and pans, napkin rings, A brand new home needs so many things!

Updated invitation list, Sheitel macher and dentist.

Wardrobe, fittings, makeup, hair, So many things one calendar can share!

Beginning with the famous shadchan, Climaxing into the badchen.

Mixed with tears and heartfelt tefillos, Tchinos, tzedakah and segulos.

And beneath this endless list, A proud and upright timeless fist.

Tightly grips all this together, Into one ‘wedding’ that lasts forever…

It’s the shidduch between us and Hashem, The bond that connects us again and again.

The hidden chasadim that we do, Between the invitations from ‘me to you’…

Babysitting, suppers sent, Ideas shared, money lent.

Homes and arms opened wide, Inviting guests to come inside.

Spreading friendship, warmth, and care, It’s a simcha we all share! ‫א בית נאמן בישראל‬ ‫!איניינעם מיט מי כעמך ישראל‬ A shared simcha – a shared invite, “Hashem, please see how we unite. ‫עוד ישמע בערי יהודה והחוצות ירושלים‬, See the overflowing love, Bring the ultimate Mazel Tov. ‫הקב"ה מיט זיין פאלק צוריק אהיים‬, ”!‫אן אייביגן שמחה זאל עס שוין זיין‬

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The author can be contacted at: 914-299-5744

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FEB.2.2022

Everything you need for the new home— and more WeeklyLink.com

Chasuna Plaza offers a personal, stressfree experience for the modern bride

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Rows and rows of top-of-the-line housewares.

Racks and racks of regal linens, soft towels, and topquality tablecloths.

Rooms and rooms of full furniture, with sets for your bedroom, dinette, and leaving room.

When it comes to setting up a home, every new couple wants the best. This home is the backdrop of your future together. The dining room table is where he will learn and the kitchen is where she’ll prepare for the first Shabbos hosting her new in-laws.

Envisioning your new home is a dream come true, but preparing for it can be more of a nightmare. There are hundreds of things to take care of, and dozens of options for each. The floral linens or the colorblock ones? An armoire with a hutch or a mirror on top instead?

Before you get overwhelmed by stress, and before you spend days stopping in seven different stores to compare the options, step into just one: Chasuna Plaza.

Continued

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FEB.2.2022

Based on years of experience, we tailored the packages to meet the specific needs of a chosson and kallah who are on the brink of a new life. The expansive wedding mall

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You can browse, shop, choose, and order, all from the convenience of the beautiful showroom.

Every kallah has her own personal shopper, who spends hours giving undivided attention. When choosing a

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Behind the Scenes with the

BADCHAN What made you become a badchan?

Velvel Feldman: Di ershte kasha is… shebchol halaylos! But I always loved to badchen. I’d perform in cheder, in Yeshiva for my friends… I knew I had it in me.

Yoel Brown: Thank you for reaching out to me. It’s an honor to be featured here together with my esteemed colleagues.

“Sameiach Tisamach rayim ha’ahivim…”

The chasunah is winding down. The crowd is thinning, leaving only the Chassan and Kallah’s nearest and dearest in the hall - which is trying to catch its breath. The walls - once throbbing from the music’s frenetic tempo - at last, ease and become still. Family members stroll about and sit down on the chairs laid out for them, relaxing their aching feet and slowly, slowly begin to hear themselves think. Amidst the collective exhale of a joyous family settling down, a lone voice is heard - the badchan’s voice. At first slowly, and then skillfully building momentum, he talks, he sings, jokes and chants as he weaves his way into the family’s hopes and dreams.

If the dancing at a chasunah is an external expression of our joy of the building of a new Bayis Ne’eman, then the mitzvah tantz is when we quiet down, appreciate, reflect upon and internalize the simcha. And the Master of this sacred Ceremony is the Badchan.

We know what it’s like to be part of the crowd, eyeing the clock, hoping that this time we’d get out at a normal hour. We’ve groaned at corny jokes, laughed at funny ones that are never so funny when we repeat them later and connected to the power of the hour with the badchan’s beautiful prose. But what’s it like to be standing on the chair and facing the audience? What’s it like be a badchan?

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I’ll divide the answer into two parts. Firstly, I always had a ‘ta’avah’ if you want to call it that way to inspire people. Not everyone can give shape and expression to feelings with well-chosen words.

Secondly, m’darf brengen parnassah! What do they say, ‘If you do what you like you won’t work a day in your life’? (But if you work nights you work hard...)

Motty Illowitz: Why I became a badchan? For the same reason that the interviewer of this piece became a writer.

Lezer Hersh Rosenfeld: It took me a while to consider myself a ‘badchan’. Perhaps thirty weddings or so, until I figured out that I wanted badchanus to be a steady source of parnassah for me and I came to the realization, that yes, I am a badchan.

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FEB.2.2022

How did you get started?

Who gave you your first job?

When I was a shana rishona yingerman a friend asked me to badchen at his mitzva tantz. I did him the favor and then the manager in the hall approached me and asked me if I can badchen at his child’s wedding. I said “Me? I’m not a badchan?” He said, “Oh yes, you are!” He then offered me the huge sum of $800! I could not believe it!

He told me, say the same things you said tonight, for all I care. And that’s what I did! I just tweaked it a bit here and there and Baruch Hashem I did a good job. The rest, they say, is history.

Do you ever get stage fright?

I used to get stage fright. Lots of it.

Then I learned that everything is in Hashem’s hands, my fear will not help me, it will only hinder me. Once I internalized it, I no longer struggled with stage fright. Now I know, ‘Lev Melachim ‘V’sarim B’yad Hashem.

Sure! It’s part of it!

I started badchening when I was a young boy and then as a bachur. When there was a Bar Mitzva or a Sheva Brachos I’d be asked to write grammen and then to sing it for the oilam. Lots of people encouraged me and many critiqued me which was also very important. But the encouragement and compliments brought me even further and I am so grateful to those who encouraged me.

My first ‘job’ was in yeshiva. After my chasunah a mechutan asked me to do only his personal mitzva tantz.

From there on it continued, all with Siyata Dishmaya.

It’s not like a profession you learn or “start”… it’s something you “have”… So, I always worked with it. But I began badchening officially after a friend of mind asked me to do his wedding.

I think that if you don’t have it, something is missing! Stage fright shows that you take your job seriously and you care about your performance!

One hundred percent. It used to be harder, but these days I don’t fear my stage fright anymore. Interestingly, in a busy season when I badchen at one chasuna after the other, my stage fright lessens, but when I start badchening again after a quiet season (sefirah or the three weeks) it comes back again and it can take some time for it to loosen its grip on me.

There were also others who knew of my writing abilities.

Michoel Schnitzler was one of the first ones to hire me. I wrote a song for him when I was still a bachur.

My father pushed me into badchanus and my family greatly encouraged me. My sister asked me to badchan at her wedding, that was my very first wedding. I wasn’t new to this. I used to do ‘grammen’ in cheder, mainly for Purim shpiels and also in Yeshiva and at Rebbishe sheva brachos. People heard me badchan at my sister’s wedding and asked me to badchan for them. And then one day, I suddenly realized that yes, I am a badchan.

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What happens if you badchen for the same family twice (or more) in a short time span?

What happens when you get a last - minute call - when do you do your research?

That’s a good question. Baruch Hashem, I have come up with a method that works very well for me. People tell me, “Wow, I heard you twice this week and once last week and every time you had completely new material!” What they don’t know is that I enter every family’s name into my computer with all the information about the mitzvah tantz. No, not the grammen, but rather which Divrei Torah, songs and jokes I used. When I badchen for the same family again, I look up the information and I know exactly what not to say. I often ask my colleagues why they don’t use this foolproof method. We, badchanim are human. And if we don’t keep cheshbon, we forget.

We usually get booked months in advance with enough time to do our research. I like to call my mechatunim two weeks before the chasuna to show them that I am also looking forward to the occasion and to spare them the hassle of having to spend time with me on the phone during those hectic, last-minute days before the simcha. If I substitute for another badchen then he gives me the info that he already gathered. But, with Siyatta Dish’maya and experience we manage to swing those last-minute jobs, too.

At the beginning of my career I did not have this problem, but as I became busier it has Baruch Hashem become a serious issue… It’s a very good feeling to have someone request your services again and again, but it also becomes challenging. I constantly refresh my material and offer new ideas and insights but yes, there were times that the same family reserved me twice in one week and when a third brother-in-law wanted to reserve me the following week, I nicely told him that it’s not a good idea for him, nor for me… I helped him reserve another badchan.

What does a magazine like ‘The Link’ do if the same ads run week after week? That’s how I see it. This is where creativity is crucial. To make every simcha unique, I try to find something unique about the family.

However, if the Zeide didn’t change his name (which doesn’t usually happen at age 60…) didn’t move or finish some more Mesechtas... you’ve got to work with what you have, to make it special.

Now you touched upon a sore spot for a badchan.

Not because of the material - a badchan usually has enough material to go around several times - but rather the fact that people tend to judge and compare the mitzvah tantz. This can be stressful for the badchan and can affect a simcha negatively.

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It doesn’t happen often. Most of the time we are booked about ten months before the wedding, but it can happen. I remember when my uncle, the legendary badchan Reb Yakir Brown asked me if I can substitute for him at the last minute. I fearfully accepted the job. I gathered the info in the hall right before the mitzvah tantz! Baruch Hashem it was a success. People ask me, “How can you talk for an hour or two with only the little bit that’s written on that tiny paper?” I say, “that’s the talent of a badchan”.

It depends what ‘last minute’ means. I will definitely need to do research.

Last minute jobs are not too terrible for the experienced badchan. (I will share a little secret with you. Many badchanim tend do most of their preparation at the last minute, anyway…) True, you need to work hard and fast, but you can pull it off. This is for the average wedding. A larger-scale multigenerational chasuna with five-six zeides, and many Rabbonim does require more prep time. Hashem always helps and I find that the last - minute weddings are often the most beautiful and successful.

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What happens when a joke falls flat?

Well, this is the badchan’s kintz. Many people can make jokes, but a badchan knows how to say it, when to say it, where to draw the punch line, how to flow from one joke to another. I once badchaned for Harav Shulem Kessler Shlita. Reb Shulem is my one of mentors. He told me, “Wow Velvel, this I can’t do.” I said, “You, Reb Shulem?” he said, “I know I’m good, I know what I can do and what I can’t do, but this - this flow from one joke to the next, this geshlifen tzingel, this is a gift that you have.” And when a joke does fall flat? It can happen. Ich fuhr veiter. I tell another joke on top of that joke and the oilam has no time to chap that the first one fell flat; they are so busy laughing at the next one. S’geit a roiach.

I usually don’t make jokes, for two reasons. One, because of the late hour of the mitzva tantz. I feel uncomfortable keeping people up at that time of the night with my jokes.

Secondly, I don’t want to inadvertently hurt anyone or their uncle or shvigger with my jokes. Instead I create a happy atmosphere with interesting songs and grammen.

What happens if family members don’t understand Yiddish very well?

Yes, I do need more time to prepare if I need to badchen in English; it’s not my first language. My father, a very talented Talmid Chacham with a great English vocabulary used to help me.

At this point though, I prepare mostly myself, and sometimes my wife helps me. We make it happen!

It’s interesting to note that in the past few years the mitzvah tantz started moving over to the English -speaking crowd. There are several badchanim who are known for their English speaking mitzvah tantz but with time I also started to do English grammen. It’s harder for me, but vus tit men nisht far parnasah…

Are you joking? Everyone loves a good joke. Especially when they’re overtired ...

But jokes aren’t my main focus. However, I can relate to the question as to how it pertains to any performance. I can’t control how the crowd will behave. I can only try to be MY best and leave the results up to Hashem.

Never too late to learn! I do English too.

I remember a recent wedding, when in the middle of the most intense, beautiful part of the mitzva tantz, a few overtired boys decided to play soccer with seltzer bottles in the middle of the hall… I definitely didn’t order that!

If someone doesn’t understand my Yiddish, then they’re in trouble because my English, they surely won’t understand… But I do do English mitzvah tantz pretty often. I sometimes even do entire chasunas in English.

Jokes are not my focus. I prefer the hartzig moments of the mitzvah tantz. If the mechatunim don’t request it, I don’t make jokes. If they do request it, I do my best. Some badchanim are great at making jokes and some, like me, enjoy the singing more. It used to bother me when a joke fell flat and it still does, but now it doesn’t bother me that it bothers me… But it is a very good feeling when a joke is well received.

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Did you ever find yourself in an embarrassing situation?

A rewarding situation?

If I get myself into an embarrassing situation, like mistakenly leaving out one uncle when I call up an entire family, the trick is, I say, not to get stuck. Gei veiter. Hashem helps me with a way out. Now for that uncle that was left out? I said, “Ooohhhh, the feter Reb Mendel is so chashuv, we need to call him to dance all by himself.” M’darf huben dee kup oifen platz.

It’s like every profession. We are only human. The main thing is to know that you tried. The rest is Siyata Dishamaya.

It’s also important not to focus on the negativity or embarrassment. Rather accept the positive and rewarding parts.

Accept the compliments people give you. Appreciate the opportunities you have to do for others.

What do you like about your job? What do you dislike about your job?

What I like about my job? I like that I show up at the nicest time in a person’s life. Some people work in the Chevra Kadisha, some build aronos, some are dayanim at gittin, some counsel troubled people and I, Velvel Feldman get to badchen at one of the most joyous times in a person’s life! People ask me “Velvel, you don’t get bored doing the same thing again and again?” I don’t get bored. I try to look at every chasunah as the chasunah of the year. For the chassan and kallah this is a once-in-alifetime event.

What I don’t like about my job? I don’t think there’s anything I dislike. I just love my job. Oh-I don’t like it when mechatunim fight and I am the monkey in the middle.

I love to inspire people, to make them think of Hashem’s chessed and to thank Him for all His goodness.

Sometimes, in the hectic matzav surrounding a chasunah we lose track of the incredible simcha and when I can talk to a mechutan in Yiddish and explain to him what’s really happening here, that gives me tremendous Sipuk. I also enjoy meeting people from all different walks of life. The world is such a colorful place.

What I don’t like about my job? I don’t like keeping people up in the middle of the night.

Embarrassing situation? Yes, when I mix up names or when I talk about the Zeide Reb Yechiel Mechel alav hashalom and the Zeide Reb Yechiel Mechel is sitting there alive and well, stroking his beard while listening to his hesped…

So what do I do? I usually make a joke and shower the Zeide with Brachos for Arichas Yamim and I tell the crowd, “Ich bin nisht kein computer, fardem bin ich puter…” and I go on.

Rewarding situation? When a chashuva personality is sitting in the crowd, someone I look up to very much and I talk about him and give over the respect and admiration I have for him. That is very rewarding for me.

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I don’t dislike anything! I love that I have the ability to leave an impression on other people’s lives.

I get the most sipuk from the serious parts of the mitzva tantz, especially when I talk to the mechatunim and the chassan and kallah. In those moments I feel as if I am in a vineyard of emotion and art, as the crowd grows quiet and contemplative, and I inspire them with warm nigunnim to bring out the greatness of the moment.

I dislike the ‘badchan lifestyle’- no night, no day. It’s difficult for me and my family. The nights are spent at chasunas and the days are spent working at my other job and chasing after mechatunim to obtain information.

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What are the rewarding aspects of being a badchan?

What are the challenging aspects of being a badchan?

What I find rewarding is the Sipuk of being mesameiach others and bringing out their deep emotions during their simcha.

The challenging part of being a badchen, or any public person, is that when you become too famous you lose your privacy. If I need to pick up a bottle of milk from the grocery and all I want to do is run in and out, I need to be prepared to stop and schmooze and mostly, to always be in a good mood. People see me and they say, “Nu Velvel, ah chiddush!” They don’t want alte schoira, they want something new. And all I want is to get that bottle of milk… So, I started telling people “It can’t be a one-way street. You make a somersault for me here in this aisle between the ketchup and the mayonnais and then I’ll tell you a joke. It’s not fair that only I have to do the entertaining…”

There’s no such thing as simply not being in the mood to stop and schmooze. I must be nice to everyone or they’ll feel that Velvel’s giving them an attitude. People are very sensitive. I have no idea what others are going through and if someone wants to hear a git vort from Velvel Feldman then Velvel Feldman wants to make him happy. When you live a public life, you can’t really live for yourself. People think that being popular is so much fun with all that attention! But the truth is, that although it’s fun at the beginning, after a while living a public life can lose some of its shine.

It’s not easy, but being famous hopefully brings on lots of work.

I think that the advantages and drawbacks of being a badchan are one and the same.

Firstly, the timing. On the one hand, the night is a very relaxing time to work. On the other hand, you don’t get to sleep. Another advantage/drawback is the popularity factor. People constantly come over to me and talk to me as a badchan. I gain so much from these conversations; Divrei Torah, stories, mashalim… I am also zoche to provide people with a listening ear. The drawback of this is that sometimes I want to daven a quiet ma’ariv without any interruptions or I want to go on vacation, but I can’t run away from people.

It’s very ‘personal’… You have to mamash become part of the family.

I view it as an opportunity to inspire, and sometimes, to even reconnect hearts.

The aspect I find to be most challenging is not to hurt anyone. We badchanim sometimes need to walk on eggshells. I once had a friend who stopped talking to me because I called him up to the mitzvah tantz with an innocent title that he felt was insulting. When I finally figured out the reason for his silence, I felt so bad and explained to him that it was totally unintentional. I would never want to hurt him. We Baruch Hashem made up after that.

The most rewarding aspect of being a badchan is when I deliver what the family wanted.

When the chassan and kallah and mechatunim are really pleased, I get tremendous pleasure.

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What happens in sticky family situations?

Jokes. I make lots of jokes. There’s nothing like a well-placed joke to dispel an awkward situation. I am often called to badchen at these situations as not too many badchanim make jokes and in these situations, they need my sense of humor to clear the stormy air.

Sometimes I have to deal with eight mecaitunim and fourteen zeides and I have to be the monkey in the middle. It’s like dancing between the raindrops. It’s a shtickel chochma how to please everyone. Baruch Hashem, I get regards that people are pleased.

This is a million- dollar question… While I daven for Hatzlacha before every mitzva tantz, my tefillah before such a mitzvah tantz will be a lot stronger. You need nerves made of steel, and gloves made of silk when you badchen at such weddings. But being that I have experienced this myself, I approach such mitzvah tantz with lots of sensitivity and try to make everyone happy. I have had plenty of such chasunas there is unfortunately, no dearth of painful situations today and with Hashem’s help I managed to understand and calm the situation.

Hashem Yisborach zul helfen oif veiter… and take away all of Klal Yisroel’s tzaros.

There’s an old vurt. Seichel is how to get out of a sticky situation. Chochmah is how to avoid it!

I deeply respect people, and I understand that each and every family is different in a million ways. With the right amount of seichel and chochma and of course, Siyata Dishamya, we get around tough situations.

These situations are really difficult, not so much for me, I’ll already ‘gib zich an eitzah’ with my ego…- but rather for the families involved. When a mechutan asks how he can try to ensure that the chasunah works out I tell him, drei nisht tzifil ah kup. Not the singer’s kup, nor the musician’s, nor the badchan’s… Tell us what you want and how you want it done and then let go and trust us to do our best. If you reserved us, then obviously you trusted us. If we are squished into someone else’s shoes we might trip over our feet and produce clumsy work.

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What was your most memorable mitzva tantz?

What was your most challenging mitzvah tantz?

My most challenging and memorable mitzvah tantz was when I spoke about my brother a”h by his son’s wedding.

My brother was niftar twelve years ago at the age of 29. We were so close. It was not easy for me, but I did it for the chassan. I cried so much. I could hardly talk. I cried like a little boy.

I put myself into my work with my whole heart, so I remember many mitzvah tantz. But I recall one specific mitzvah tantz where a father who waited for many years for his son to be born, finally married him off, but right before the chasunah he was unfortunately involved in a terrible car accident and attended the chasunah in a wheelchair.

The emotion in the room, when I called him up to dance with his son was so heavy and powerful… I put myself into the place of someone who waited so long to become a father and now that he was finally marrying off his son he could not dance on his own two feet, and badchened from that place in my heart… The next day the father called me, thanked me and showered me with brachos for a half an hour. This is one of the many simchos I will not forget.

My most challenging mitzvah tantz was the time I called up a father to dance with his son who were not on speaking terms. At the chasunah they fell into each other’s arms.

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Every wedding is unique and special. I view events as single moments. It’s always in different places, different settings and arrangements, different musicians and platforms etc. Especially for the badchan, there are always different families to research and to talk about.

My most challenging mitzva tantz was when I called up my own parents. The feelings were just overwhelming.

However, it was my best “challenge” ever!

My most memorable mitzvah tantz was when I badchened at my youngest sister’s mitzvah tantz, my parent’s youngest child. I poured my heart and soul, all my talent and skill into those moments and wove them into an unforgettable, emotional mitzvah tantz. Unforgettable for me, for my family and for my parents.

My most challenging mitzvah tantz was when the crowd knew no Yiddish, no English, only Spanish. I memorized some Spanish words and repeated them like a robotwithout knowing what I was saying. I told the families that it was almost impossible for me and they made it easier by requesting only the minimum.

It didn’t really help me much because they didn’t know the songs we usually sing and kept requesting for me to sing different nigunnim. I remember when I was calling up the mechutan I got five different messages to change the nigun.

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What is a special message you wish you can share with everyone from your perspective as a badchan?

I don’t see myself as a special messenger; I’m not the preacher type. But one thing I can tell you, you have no idea how far a git vort or a smile can go. I once badchened for a family of Bnei Torah. One of the siblings was not a ben Torah and worked in a fish store. When I spoke about him I said that he’ll be at the front lines when Moshiach comes, up there together with the livyason. The next day his wife called my wife to thank her. She said she was no nervous about what I’d say about her husband in comparison to the rest of the family’s distinguished titles, and that I did a beautiful job.

A git vort, a git morgen with a smile can go a long way, especially today when people are dealing with alot of hardships. We should be good with each other and good to each other. What I often see if mechatunim argue or are in a difficult family situation, not only do they hurt others they end up hurting themselves as well.

Those who are mevater only benefit in the long run.

A badchan is someone who thinks deeper. He hears a story and thinks about what he can take out of the story. He reads a book and thinks of how he can apply what he read in the book to his badchanus. He is a Meivin Davar Mi’toch Davar. I always tell people that this is an outlook on life that everyone should adopt, not just a badchan… The deeper we look, the more we perceive the chessed of Hashem, what is needed from us in this world, what we can accomplish…

Once again, thank you for granting me this platform and I wish all readers kol tuv.

We all have our talents. We can and should utilize our abilities to inspire others. Be humble and understanding and together we’ll see simchas!

To mechatunim I say: Do your research well. Know what you want and who will most likely deliver what you want. Once you’ve made your decision, tell the badchan what you want and then let him do his work. Remember that a compliment goes a very long way. A lot further than criticism and comparisons…

May we only meet at simchos. Mazel tov!

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BY: YEHUDIS SCHONFELD

Simcha table in the hall, Who is the fairest of us all?

S

o, the sheva brachos has been planned.

Finally. Chana Rivka was going to make potato knishes-which were nixed by the sisters and sisters -in- law and changed into vegetable blintzes which

were deemed nebby and old-fashioned and were at last turned into potato blintzes with tricolor pepper and mushroom sauce which were grudgingly agreed upon by most of the sisters and sisters-in-law. (Chana Leah is still harrumphing and hoping for salmon wellingtons, but she is not offering to make them because she is doing the chicken.) Chana Malka is making the two-colored soup with nokerlach and garlic bread and Chana Leah is doing the chicken and only the chicken

because it is so expensive and Chana Rivka’s husband must come to pick it up and bring it to the hall on the day of the Sheva Brachos because her husband (Chana Leah’s) is too busy helping her because she is making the chicken. Chana Rochel is doing the bilkelach (for the men) and onion rolls (for the women) two side dishes, two salads and a three-step intricate dessert because no one else is offering to do bilkelach, onion rolls, side dishes, salads and desserts. Chaya Baila, the kimpeturin is ordering the drinks and Chaya Sarah from overseas offered to set up on the day of the Sheva Brachos.

At last, the night arrives. The guests show up in the hall and enter the cozy little ballroom. What

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a beautiful, beautiful event.

The atmosphere is soft and elegant, the colors light and festive. Chana Rivka, Chana Malka, Chana Leah, Chana Rochel, Chaya Baila and Chaya Sarah are all so proud. Chana Leah is sure that it’s her chicken that will mark the event, Chana Rivka is wondering if her potato blintzes warming in the hall’s tiny oven are warm already and Chana Rochel is busy thinking about how and when she should start assembling her three- layer mini chocolate nougat and peanut butter towers for dessert.

But. Chana Rivka, Chana Malka, Chana Leah, Chana Rochel, Chaya Baila and Chaya Sarah: We’re sorry to say this, but it’s not the food that’s setting the festive mood (yet). No. The ones charged with creating the first impression, with setting the ambiance in the room are the beautifully set tables laid out with the ‘is- that- chinaordisposable-dishes?’ dinnerware thoughtfully chosen by Chana Rochel (who else?). Like works of art, the well-dressed tables pull together harmonizing

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colors, textures and designs and create the elegant, simcha’dig vibes in the room.

And now, the guests are finally seated. Please can you bring out the potato blintzes?

The food in the kitchen smells delicious. (And yes, it’s not the food, not the décor, not even the dinnerware that makes an event- but rather the happy and gracious hearts and spirits of the hosts and hostesses. But you - and I - knew that already.)

On a well-dressed table, the beautiful plastic dinnerware available today usually accentuates and sometimes even creates the design.

But while they’ve become increasingly popular in the past few years- they haven’t always been so welcome.

It took a while for serious balabustes to even consider using plastic dinnerware for an elegant event. Plastic dinnerware and cutlery were more common in Europe and Israel where the original idea stemmed from. But with time, the dishes became a lot sturdier, the designs, plentiful, artistic and contemporary - and plastic dinnerware’s popularity ratings shot up.

And of course, of course,

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There is no busiest season for heavyweight plastic dinnerware, but rather, in a community like ours there is always something going on like Shabbos, Yom Tov, parties, events, breakfasts and more.

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HALL LISTING WEDDING HALLS - BP ATERES CHAYA ����������������������������������������1415 54TH ST 718�871�8220 ATERES CHYNKA ����������������������129 ELMWOOD AVE 718�252�8480 ATERES GOLDA ��������������������������������������1362 50TH ST 718�972�1360 EMINENCE HALL ��������������������������������� 4315 16TH AVE 718�437�4800 OHR HACHAIM VIZNITZ ����������������������1824 53RD ST 718�236�2096 KEREM MENACHEM ������������������� 5411 FT HAMILTON 718�705�7740 THE LEGACY ��������������������������������������������1275 36TH ST� 718�871�1770 THE PALACE ���������������������������� 780 MCDONALD AVE 718�871�1770 TIFERES MORDECHAI ���������600 MCDONALD AVE 718�683�3600 TIFERES RIVKA ���������������������������������� 1257 38TH ST 718�686�8700

SIMCHA HALLS - BP ANSHE SFARD ������������������������������������������ 4506 14 AVE 718�436�4151 ADAS TERRACE ��������������������������������������1358 50TH ST 718�972�0133 ATERES CHANA MALKA ����������������������1319 50TH ST 718�781�8485 ATERES MORDECHAI TOSH ����������� 4615 14TH AVE 718�686�1666 BAIS BROCHO ��������������������������������������4314 10TH AVE 718�438�6715 BAIS MIRIAM HALL��������������������������������� 1321 55TH ST 347�578�3365 BAIS ESTHER HALL �������������������������������1353 50TH ST 718�300�1272 BELZ HALL ���������������������������������������� 1260 45TH ST 718�972�4789

BIKOVSKER HALL ���������������������������������� 1559 59TH ST 718�236�0930 BLEU MANOR ������������������������������������� 1431 58TH ST 718�790�3388 BNOS CHAYA SIMCHA HALL ����������� 4511 14TH AVE 718�851�1212 X110/102 BP CREATION CENTER �������������������� 4202 12TH AVE 718�438�1353 BURSHTINER HALL ���������������������������� 5610 12TH AVE 718�513�7602 CAFÉ PARIS ������������������������������������ 4424 16TH AVE 718�853�2353 CHATEAU MANOR ���������������������������������� 1250 51ST ST 718�438�0379 CHINA GLATT ���������������������������������� 4413 13TH AVE 718�438�2576 CORNER CAFÉ ��������������������������������������2 DITMAS AVE 718�435�2233 DOMBROVER HALL �������������������������������1324 50TH ST 718�435�3982 EMUNAS YISROEL HALL ������������������ 4310 16TH AVE 718�851�6017 GRANDE TERRACE ����������������������������������1676 61ST ST 718�972�5702 HILMAN PLAZA ������������������������������ 5301 14TH AVE 718�874�1550 HOYD VHUDOR ������������������������������������� 6101 16TH AVE 718�871�7878 IGUD HALL ����������������������������������������� 1371 46TH ST 347�871�5001 KAFF KAFE ������������������������������������������� 5320 16TH AVE 718�436�0808 X3 KAHAL OHR CHAIM ����������������������������1424 49T ST 718�633�1022 KESER CHARNA�������������������������������������� 1310 46TH ST 718�871�4646 KESER TZIREL ������������������������������������������1315 43RD ST 347�779�2225

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‫בעסערע קוואליטי‬

‫באקוועמערע פיט‬

‫‪164‬‬

HALL LISTING KESSER HALL�����������������������������������4712 12TH AVE

TARNOPOL HALL ������������������ 163 PARKVILLE AVE

718�854�6002

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THE EMERALD HALL ������������������������������1455 51ST ST 718�812�5030

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THE GRANDEUR ������������������������������� 1473 50TH ST 929�200�2382

KOSON HALL ������������������������������������������ 1777 49TH ST 718�300�1272

THE LOFT �������������������������������������������1306 40TH ST 718�475�5600

LIPSCHITZ HALL ����������������������������5000 14TH AVE 718�972�1360

THE PLATINUM HALL � 5320 NEW UTRECHT AVE 718�437�1743

MACHZIKEI HALL ������������������������������� 4622 14TH AVE 718�705�8248

THE SKVERE HALL ��������������������������������1373 43RD ST 347�456�3309

MILLENNIUM ����������������������������������4405 14TH AVE 718�705�8248 PARADISE MANOR ������5802 NEW UTRECHT AVE 718�438�3388 PARDES LEAH ��������������������������������� 4512 14TH AVE 718�301�0236 PARDES NOACH BELZ ������������������� 5015 15TH AVE 718�853�0398 RENAISSANCE ������������������������������������� 5902 14TH AVE 718�853�3030 ROPSHITZ SIMCHA HALL���������������� 1858 53RD ST 718�232�6072 SCHICKS MANOR �������������������������������� 4901 12TH AVE 718�853�6329 SEVILLE MANOR ��������������������������������� 5602 11TH AVE 718�437�7200 SHAR ARYEH HALL ����������������������������5822 17TH AVE 718�259�3665 SIGET HALL ����������������������������������������� 1511 50TH ST 347�451�1491 SISU VISIMCHU HALL ������������������������������ 4127 18 AVE 718�758�9700

YEFEI NOIF ������������ 1325 38TH ST GROUND LEVEL 718�300�1272 YOUNG ISREAL BETH EL ���������������� 4802 15TH AVE 718�435�9020 ZEMER �������������������������������������������������1325 38TH ST 718�705�8248 ZMIGRODER HALL ���������������������������� 1216 43DR ST 347�366�4147

FLATBUSH HALLS KOL YAAKOV HALL �������������1703 MCDONALD AVE 917�385�8758 MERKAZ HASIMCHA ����������������������������1898 BAY AVE 718�339�3363 SASSON VSIMCHA �������� 1223 CONEY ISLAND AVE 718�758�9700 STRETINER HALL ������������������� 4609 BAY PARKWAY 718�258�9685 VERETSKY HALL ������������������������������������������1102 AVE L 718�252�7777

SKOLYA SIMCHA HALL ������������������������1335 48TH ST 718�851�0567

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SPINKA HALL ������������������������������������ 1466 56TH ST 718�871�8220

ATERES AVROHOM ��������������������������������� 75 ROSS ST 718�302�3700

SPINKA HALL �������������������������������������������5111 18TH AVE 718�974�3331

EDEN PALACE ����������������������������420 FLUSHING AVE 718�522�0600

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FEB.2.2022

HALL LISTING KESSER TZVI & REIZEL ����������������212 WILSON AVE 718�705�8248 X105

NANASHE SIMCHA HALL�����������210 DIVISION AVE 718�384�1969

THE CONTINENTAL ����������������������� 75 RUTLEDGE ST 718�780�9900

OPAL GARDEN ���������������������������� 128 FRANKLIN AVE 718�414�1110

THE IMPERIAL ������������������������������ 712 BEDFORD AVE 718�243�2911

PARK PLAZA/PARK MANOR ���������� 808 BEDFORD 718�705�8248

PARDES TZVI & FEIGA ��������������������������243 KEAP ST 718�963�9595

POINT PLAZA HOTEL ������������������� 2 FRANKLIN AVE 718�782�7000

V’YOEL MOSHE �������������������������� 590 BEDFORD AVE 718�384�4707/718�963�9260

RIVER TERRACE ������������������������������ 31 DIVISION AVE 347�622�3138

SIMCHA HALLS WILLIAMSBURG APERION CATERING��������������������������� 53 TAAFFE PL 718�705�8248 APERION PALACE��������������� 35 WILLIAMSBURG ST 718�705�8248 ATERES TIFERES ����������������������������� 396 MARCY AVE 718�388�4739 BEDFORD PARADISE �������������� 620 BEDFORD AVE 718�222�3391 ROTTENBERG �������������������������������������� 264 HEWES ST 718�782�2320 CHEESY������������������������������������������������� 314 MARCY AVE 718�576�3579 CONDOR HALL ����������������������������� 56 FRANKLIN AVE 718�526�6367

ROYAL MANOR HALL ���������������������������� 274 KEAP ST 718�384�8283 NEZER �������������������������������������������� 590 BEDFORD AVE 718�963�9260 PARDES ��������������������������������������������� 125 HEYWARD ST 718�963�9564 SKVERE HALL ����������������������������������� 165 SPENCER ST 718�633�3526 SOMBOTHALLY SIMCHA HALL������������171 PENN ST 718�243�1570 SOSSON V’SIMCHA ��������������������������������� 213 LEE AVE 718�809�1733 SPRINKLES ��������������������������������� 194 WALLABOUT ST 718�797�7959 PUPA KIDDUSH HALL ����������������������������� 110 PENN ST 718�243�1570

DECORIUM TERRACE ��������������������� 712 WYTHE AVE 718�596�6666

WEDDING HALLS MONSEY/SKVER

KARLSBURG HALL�������������������� 609 BEDFORD AVE 718�599�2465

ATERES CHAYA SURAH ������������������ 106 S MADISON 845�519�1212

KOZNITZER HALL �����������������������������������258 KEAP ST 718�782�7369

ATERES CHARNA ������������������������������� 790 N MAIN ST 845�362�7800

LE CHATEAU ������������������������������������ 710 MYRTLE AVE 718�831�2552

ATRIUM BALLROOM ������������������������������������401 NY 59 845�356�9136

LEMBERGER HALL����������������������� 107 RUTLEDGE ST 718�309�1883

OHR HACHAIM VIZNITZ ������� 1 SCHOOL TERRACE 845�425�8019

ULEM FRANKEL ������������������������������� 762 WYTHE AVE 718�797�2888

VILCHOVITZ ���������������������������������������230 MAPLE AVE 845�731�3707

MOZZARELLA �������������������������������������������264 LEE AVE 718�783�5555

YESHIVA OF SPRING VALLEY ��� 121 COLLAGE RD 845�425�4949

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Sheva Brochos Pidyen Haben Tenoim Bar Mitzvah Reunion Vach Nacht FEB.2.2022

The Benefits of Listening to Music WeeklyLink.com

159

In 2009, archaeologists excavating a cave in southern Germany uncovered a flute carved from a vulture’s wing bone. The delicate artifact is the oldest known musical instrument on earth — indicating that people have been making music for many years.

Although we can’t be sure exactly when human beings began listening to music, scientists do know something about why we do. Listening to music benefits us individually and collectively. Here’s what research tells us about the power of music to improve our physical, mental, and emotional health.

Music connects us Researchers think one of the most important functions of music is to create a feeling of cohesion or social connectedness.

Music remains a powerful way of uniting people: • national anthems connect crowds at sporting events • protest songs stir a sense of shared purpose during marches • lullabies enable parents and infants to develop secure attachments How, then, does music benefit us as individuals?

Music’s effects on the mind It can lead to better learning Doctors at Johns Hopkins recommend that you listen to music to stimulate your brain. Scientists know that listening to music engages your brain — they can see the active areas light up in MRI scans.

Researchers now know that just the promise of listening to music can make you want to learn more. In one 2019 study, people were more motivated to learn when they expected to listen to a song as their reward.

Listening has limits A note of caution: You may want to withhold the earbuds for some students. ResearchersTrusted Source who tested students with lower

158

working memory capacity found that listening to music — especially songs with lyrics — sometimes had a negative effect on learning.

It can improve memory Music also has a positive effect on your ability to memorize.

In one study, researchers gave people tasks that required them to read and then recall short lists of words. Those who were listening to classical music outperformed those who worked in silence or with white noise.

The same study tracked how fast people could perform simple processing tasks — matching numbers to geometrical shapes — and a similar benefit showed up.

Mayo Clinic points out that while music doesn’t reverse the memory loss experienced by people with Alzheimer’s disease and other forms of dementia, music has been found to slow cognitive decline, helping people with mild or moderate dementia remember episodes from their lives.

Music memory is one of the brain functions most resistant to dementia.

That’s why some caregivers have had success using music to calm dementia patients and build trusting connections with them.

It can help treat mental illness Music literally changes the brain.

Neurological researchers have found that listening to music triggers the release of several neurochemicals that play a role in brain function and mental health: • dopamine, a chemical associated with pleasure and “reward” centers • stress hormones like cortisol • serotonin and other hormones related to immunity • oxytocin, a chemical that fosters the ability to connect to others Although more research needs to be done to understand precisely how

music can be used therapeutically to treat mental illness, some studies suggest that music therapy can improve the quality of life and social connectedness for people with schizophrenia.

Music’s effects on mood A number of researchersTrusted Source have interviewed groups about why they listen to music. Study participants vary widely in terms of age, gender, and background, but they report strikingly similar reasons.

One of the most common uses of music? It helps people regulate their emotionsTrusted Source, researchers found. It has the power to change moods and help people process their feelings.

It can help lower anxiety There’s lots of evidence that listening to music can help calm you in situations where you might feel anxious.

Studies have shown that people in rehab after a stroke are more relaxed once they’ve listened to music for an hour.

Similar studies indicate that music blended with nature sounds help people feel less anxious. Even people facing critical illness feel less anxiety after music therapy.

There’s conflicting evidence about whether listening to music has an effect on your body’s physiological stress response, however. One study indicated that the body releases less cortisol, a stress hormone, when people listen to music. This same study referenced previous research stating that music had little measurable effect on cortisol levels.

One recent study that measured several indicators of stress (not just cortisol) concluded that while listening to music before a stressful event doesn’t reduce anxiety, listening to relaxing music after a stressful event can help your nervous system recover faster.

FEB.2.2022

It helps the symptoms of depression A 2017 research review concluded that listening to music, had a positive effect on depression symptoms, especially when there were several listening sessions conducted by board certified music therapists.

Musical genre matters for depression One important note: Studies have found that nostalgic sad tunes can actually increase symptoms of depression, especially if you tend to ruminate or withdraw socially. Not surprising, perhaps, but important to know if you want to use music to counteract the blues.

Music’s effects on the body It can help your heart health Music can make you want to move — and the benefits of dancing are well documented. Scientists also know that listening to music can alter your breath rate, your heart rate, and your blood pressure, depending on the music’s intensity and tempo.

It decreases fatigue Anyone who has ever rolled down car windows and turned up the radio knows that music can be energizing.

There’s solid science behind that lived experience.

In 2015, researchers at Shanghai University found that relaxing music helped reduce fatigue and maintain muscle endurance when people were engaged in a repetitive task.

Music therapy sessions also lessened fatigue in people receiving cancer treatments and raised the fatigue threshold for people engaged in demanding neuromuscular training, which leads us to the next big benefit.

It boosts exercise performance Exercise enthusiasts have long known that music enhances their physical performance.

WeeklyLink.com

A 2020 research review confirms that working out with music improves your mood, helps your body exercise more efficiently, and cuts down on your awareness of exertion. Working out with music also leads to longer workouts.

In clinical settings, athletes who listened to high-intensity, fast music during warmups were motivatedTrusted Source to perform better competitively.

You don’t have to be a world-class competitor to benefit: Research shows that syncing your workout to music can allow you to reach peak performance using less oxygen than if you did the same workout without the beat. Music acts as a metronome in your body, researchers said.

It can help manage pain Specially trained music therapists use music to help alleviate pain in inpatient and outpatient settings. A 2016 meta-analysis of over 90 studies reported that music helps people manage both acute and chronic pain better than medication alone.

About music therapy The American Music Therapy Association describes music therapy as the use of music in hospitals, outpatient clinics, rehab clinics, nursing homes, schools, correctional facilities, and substance use programs to help meet the medical, physical, emotional, and cognitive needs of patients.

The takeaway Music exerts a powerful influence on human beings. It can boost memory, build task endurance, lighten your mood, reduce anxiety and depression, stave off fatigue, improve your response to pain, and help you work out more effectively.

Working with a music therapist is one effective way to take advantage of

the many benefits music can have on your body, mind, and overall

The Uses and Benefits of Music Therapy What is music therapy?

Sound healing therapy uses aspects of music to improve physical and emotional health and well-being. The person being treated partakes in the experience with a trained practitioner.

Music therapy may involve: • listening to music • singing along to music • moving to the beat of the music • meditating • playing an instrument Healing with sound is believed to date back to ancient Greece, when music was used in an attempt to cure mental disorders. Throughout history, music has been used to boost morale in military troops, help people work faster and more productively.

More recently, research has linked music to a number of health benefits, from boosting immune function and lowering stress levels to improving the health of premature babies.

Types of sound or music therapy There are a few different types of sound therapy, each with different benefits, though not all have been supported through research.

Guided meditation Guided meditation is a form of sound healing in which you meditate to voiced instruction, in a session or class. Research has found that meditation offers a number of health benefits, including: • stress reduction • decreased anxiety and depression • improved memory • reduced blood pressure • pain reduction

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• lower cholesterol • decreased risk of heart disease and stroke

Neurologic music therapy Music therapy can reduce stress and promote relaxation. It’s been shown to be more effective than prescription drugs in reducing anxiety levels before surgery. A study published in 2017 found that a 30-minute music therapy session combined with traditional care after spinal surgery reduced pain.

Music therapy is administered by a credentialed provider who assesses the individual’s needs. Treatment involves creating, listening, singing, or moving to music. It’s used for physical rehab, pain management, and brain injuries.

Bonny Method Named after Helen L. Bonny, PhD, the Bonny Method of Guided Imagery and Music (GIM) classical music and imagery to help explore personal growth, consciousness, and transformation.

A 2017 study showed promising evidence that a series of GIM sessions could improve psychological and physiological health in adults with medical and mental health needs.

Nordoff-Robbins This sound healing method is delivered by skilled musicians who complete the Nordoff-Robbins 2-year master’s program. They use music familiar to those being treated, create new music together, or work toward a performance.

The Nordoff-Robbins approach is used to treat children with developmental delays (as well as their parents), mental health issues, learning difficulties, autism spectrum disorder, dementia, and other conditions.

Tuning fork therapy

• decreases mood swings

Tuning fork therapy uses calibrated metal tuning forks to apply specific vibrations to different parts of the body. This can help release tension and energy, and promote emotional balance.

It supposedly works similarly to acupuncture, using sound frequencies for point stimulation instead of needles.

• lowers blood pressure

There is some research suggesting that tuning fork therapy may help relieve muscle and bone pain.

Brainwave entrainment Also known as binaural beats, this method stimulates the brain into a specific state using pulsing sound to encourage your brain waves to align to the frequency of the beat. It’s supposed to help induce enhanced focus, entranced state, relaxation, and sleep. Though more research is needed, there’s some evidence that audible brainwave entrainment reduces anxiety, pain, and symptoms of premenstrual syndrome, as well as improves behavioral problems in children.

What music therapy treats Music therapy is used to treat symptoms of a number of conditions, including: • anxiety disorders • post-traumatic stress disorder • dementia • autism spectrum disorder and learning difficulties and

psychiatric

• cancer Some of the supposed benefits of music therapy include: • lowers stress

• teaches pain management • lowers risk for coronary artery disease and stroke • improves sleep Music therapy uses different aspects of sound to improve your emotional and physical well-being. How it works depends on the method being used. Most music therapy sessions are experienced one-on-one with a specially trained practitioner.

A session may involve sitting or lying down while listening to music or sounds from a speaker or instruments, or having vibrations applied using a special tool, such as a tuning fork.

Depending on the method, you may be encouraged to participate by singing, moving, or even using a musical instrument, or you may need to remain still and quiet to let the sounds take effect.

Healing instruments Along with voice, the following are some of the different instruments used in music therapy: • singing bowls • tuning forks • pan flute • harp

• depression

• behavioral disorders

• lowers cholesterol levels

• drums Some methods use a variety of instruments in one session, which can include a guitar, piano, or other instrument.

The takeaway Though evidence may be limited on some methods, music therapy has been found to be effective for stress reduction and relaxation and has been shown to offer many health benefits.

Disclaimer: The information in this article does not constitute medical advice and is not intended to be a substitute for proper medical care provided by a physician. The Weekly Link assumes no responsibility for any circumstance arising out of the use, misuse, interpretation or application of information in this article.

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FEB.2.2022

Kraft it!

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‫בס''ד‬

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‫מז‬

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Someone is a Kallah?

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Color and cut out these “stickers” (or add stickers of your own).

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Dip the “pop” into melted chocolate. Shake off the excess chocolate. ‫’ אין צילאזטע‬pop‘ ‫טינק איין די‬ ‫ שאקל אפ די‬.‫טשאקאלאד‬ .‫איבריגע טשאקאלאד‬

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Make a small hole on the tissue box and stand up the pop to dry. Place the tissue box with all pops into the freezer for a few minutes to dry quickly. ‫מאך א קליינע לאך אין די באקס‬ ‫ זיך‬pop ‫און שטעל אריין די‬ ‫ לייג אריין די באקס‬.‫אויסצוטריקענען‬ ‫ עס‬,‫ אין די פריזער‬pops ‫מיט אלע‬ .‫זאל זיך שנעל אפטריקענען‬

4

Place melted white chocolate into a bag. Make a small hole in the corner and “drizzle” white lines across the front of the pops. Stick back into tissue box and freeze again for a few minutes. ‫לייג אריין די צילאזטע ווייסע‬ ‫ מאך א‬.‫טשאקאלאד אין א בעג‬ drizzle ‫קליינע לאך ביי די עק און‬ ‫ לייג עס צוריק אריין‬.pops ‫אויף די‬ ‫אין די באקס און אין די פריזער אויף‬ .‫אפאר מינוט‬

5

Arrange your dry pops into a vase or dish, wrap it up and send to the baal simcha! ‫ אין א‬pops ‫לייג אריין אלע‬ .‫שיינע האלטער‬

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