LINK PLUS Vol 6

A Weekly Link Supplement

Vol. 1 Issue 6 / Oct. 10, 2019

Shelter in His Midst Yomim Tovim of Yesterday Sukkos in Brooklyn of Old

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The Professional Novice The Voice of the Shadchan in You

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Feast of Elegance

Scrumptious Recipes for Sukkos

An Apartment A Kleine Large Families in Small Spaces

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TABLEof CONTENTS Bochurim at Their Best Yomim Tovim of Yesterday Contemporary A Sikkah'le A Kleine An Apartment A Kleine Brand Name Love?

Feast of Elegance Between the Stalls

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Reproduction in whole or part in any form without prior written permission from the publisher is prohibited. | Oct. 10, 2019

Greeting Our Guest Training Ground The Professional Novice A wink from Above

G R A P H X P R E SS

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MY P E R S ONAL EXP E RI E NC E

The friend who got me to attend this course was only I knew about. The me I’d meet at 3am when my wrong. It is not a nice enhancement to life. It’s a lifewhole house and the whole world was sleeping and I changer. was alone, alone, alone, with my thoughts and rawest I was the all-over-the-place, emotionally suppressed feelings. That’s the me I made sure to quickly forget kid, way too creative for our perfect, cookie-cutter society. about the next morning when I had to function, function, And I learned – way too fast – that to be loved, accepted, function to meet all the demands of society and life and to be acknowledged as an existing human being, I had what I thought was Torah. better just do it right. That was my subconscious mode of I had had no one in my life safe enough, and present survival: do it right. I learned three trillion make-up artist enough for me to be. Then, Reb. Tukachinsky gave me real techniques on how to best cover up that out-of-control space – and clarified that from this hidden part, all of life inside and just perform up to par. The results were good. begins. This is the source, the foundation, and everything My name had a ton of friends; my resume got the right else is the result of that. Because at best, my me hadn’t shidduch. I'm in. been acknowledged, and at worst – criticized and But feelings don’t lie, and the predominant openly rejected. And me always hid in a corner feeling of my life was of walking on thin air. of my heart, unsure even of its existence.

For years I had Insecure. Anxious. Instability plagued But it was there. Waiting for me to find been working on my insides. I felt like a misshapen myself. To really start living. myself, always seeking human who had these defective Wow! To understand that the to improve. innards that didn’t stop experiencing process towards avodas Hashem But it was like building on roiling, broiling feelings. And starts with meeting 'me'. There are quicksand. everyone around me seemed so dark places in there – sure there Now for the first time, composed. I delved deeper and are! But dark isn’t ugly – dark is genuine change is taking root. harder into spiritual stuff to try potential for light. Dark was Divinely It's the first time that I'm and reinforce the image I was trying designed for process. Arrival, building upon solid ground, to uphold, twisting myself into an perfection - those are mythical goals. enjoying the exhilarating even tighter 'right' pretzel, to get that Hashem had so many angels but He experience of real 'right' feeling – of having made it. I was desired us – faulty, imperfect, creaturesliving. running myself ragged; as a yid, mother, on-a-journey-and-in-a-process. If I cover wife, daughter, and friend… On each front, I my crevices with bridges, I have defeated the learned the tough art of pleasing others. And even purpose of these lacks. though my show was pretty close to perfect, I was never In the process of Sod Ha’adam work, I tried to make the sure of myself. time to shine my focus on me, to build a relationship with Why? Something screamed inside me. Why do I feel my magnificent me, and to sustain it – loving, accepting, half like a circus actor – and half like a broken-legged staying loyal to my wonderful me in rocky moments. And worm? I felt hated, like no one really understood me, like even when I couldn’t, just being in the course on a weekly I had no real worth. I could quote all lessons about my basis introduced my awareness to me's existence. Every inherent value, my uniqueness, my good fortune to be a yid shiur provided another angle for me to get to know and - a bas melech no less, my specialty, my endless capacity as appreciate my core. To be introduced to me, to eventually a chelek eloka mima'al - but oh, how frightening, to never become one with me and commit to never abandon or truly experience any of it. scorn me again…

The rest of my story – the way such an existence In the beginning I had no patience for myself – I knew manifests itself on one’s marriage, children, finances myself through how I perceived that others viewed me – – I’ll leave that to your imagination. On a primal level I like I was never enough, needy, feely, draggy, annoying, was struggling to build a home whose foundations were burdening, and volatile – I didn’t really want to associate shaky, crumbling. How I was overworking endlessly with me. Sod Ha’adam made peace between me and hardly breathing, because I was too busy putting one myself. Sod Ha'adam made room in my heart for myself, thing up before the next thing fell. which is also providing lots of room in my heart for all When Sod Ha'adam was recommended, it seemed those around me. I had scorned me for so long. I didn’t to offer beautiful ideas that would enhance my life of trust myself. But this is where life occurs; running away function. With time I started to identify that something from this meeting point is literally missing the point. is occurring inside of me on a level way deeper than Have you ever tried to use Waze but the GPS can’t enhancement and function. I experienced an intrinsic shift locate you? It could show you the route, but can’t tell on an existential level. you where your car is on that route so it helps you very Sod Ha’adam touched my yesod – the essential core, little. Sod Ha’adam helped me find myself. And the drive the part of my existence I had always subconsciously from here has lead me to a life of happiness, closeness been running away from. The ultimate, most intimate and peace. I am a yid now. A wife, a mother; I am home. place inside of me. The part I always thought only I had, I am me.

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Bochurim at Their Best A Bein Hazmanim Perspective By: P. Samuels

If

you've been out in the neighborhood the past week or so, you surely noticed that suddenly, wherever you turn, our young men are out and about.

Yes, it's that time of year again. It's Bein Hazmanim, otherwise known as, depending on whom you ask, vacation time, unscheduled time, raid the pantry and fridge time, wasted time, or quality family time. It's hard to generalize because every family has its own dynamics, but here are some ground rules to help make this a most rewarding time both for the bochurim themselves and the other members of their family. Many of my tips are geared to mothers of two or more teenage males who are home from Yeshiva during this busy Erev Yom Tov season. Trust me. I've been there, done that. | Oct. 10, 2019

First and foremost, set some rules and a schedule. Of course if Yanky just got in from Israel or London, give him a few days for the jet lag to dissipate. S'lichos week you assume that they will be getting up early, so try for a reasonable bedtime, though your idea of early and theirs might not coincide. Taking out the negel vasser is not negotiable*. Neither is throwing yesterday's clothing into the hamper.

Putting down the hi-riser and making the beds would earn points for good behavior.

Decide together on a supper time that works for all of you, taking into account Mincha and Maariv minyanim. You run a home, not a restaurant and you do not want to be serving supper in more shifts than you have to, especially if you also have little children. Tell them to let you know if they are running late. If putting up Uncle Sruly's Sukkah took longer than

expected because of a missing 2x4, they should at least have the courtesy to let you know. They're not in a desert and phones are always available.

Be prepared. If, during the first week of Bein Hazmanim you are constantly running out of bread, milk and juice, know that this is normal and occurs in most of your sons' friends' houses, too. Bochurim are great food critics, so if you want your kugels and desserts to stay intact while cooling on your counters, prepare a special small pan which you can dub "Taster's Choice".

Encourage the bochurim to spend time at Zeidy and Bubby's house.

Helping Zeidy put up his Sukka, and reaching things on the higher shelves for Bubby, earn the bochurim the great mitzvah of Kibud Horim. At the same time, they get to nosh from Bubby's "Taster's Choice" and from Zeidy's vast knowledge both of Torah and history.

Of course the bochurim must spend part of each day learning. Encourage them to have steady chavrusos, and preferably a steady schedule. But the rest of the day, and into the evening, they can and should help around the house.

Different households have different needs.

For one mother, if her sons take the little ones out of the house, that's the biggest help. Waiting for siblings' buses, doing homework with them and even putting

them to sleep, frees another mother to do her chores undisturbed.

Then there's actual kitchen help. Boys of all ages love gadgets so now's the time to take out the vegetable chopper or spiralizer. You will have as much salad as you could possibly need.

Washing dishes, "I'll wash, you dry", is the perfect opportunity for some quality time with your son.

It doesn't matter if you have a DMC (deep meaningful conversation) or the talk is light banter. You get to give your child the undivided attention that he naturally craves.

Bochurim are perfectly capable of peeling potatoes and apples. They may not do it as quickly or as neatly as you, but they ARE doing it instead of you. Make the atmosphere festive by allowing them to turn on a music CD (no earbuds in the presence of your siblings and parents). You may have to compromise both on volume and on choice of singer, but that too can become a teaching moment.

Enjoy having your bochurim home, thank Hshem for giving them to you, and don't forget to daven that they should grow up to be Erlcihe Yidden, a pride for Klal Yisroel. Have a Gut Gezunt Yohr, and enjoy your nachas gezunterheit.

At the same time, they get to nosh from Bubby's "Taster's Choice" and from Zeidy's vast knowledge both of Torah and history

*Taking out negel vasser is said to be a segula for Yiras Shamayim. Nobody wants to mess with that. â–

Oct. 10, 2019 |

Yomim Tovim of Yesterday Sukkos in Brooklyn of Old BY: B . S C H WA R T Z

Zeidy, what can you tell me about Sukkos when you were growing up?

Well, I've got lots to say about Sukkos in early Boro Park! Sukkos was not as elaborate as it is today.

There were no ready sukkah panels, no fancy companies competing for business by coming up with unique and innovative methods for easy-to-build sukkahs.

What did we use to build the sukkah? We used doors. People somehow got hold of discarded doors - perhaps from construction sites - and attached the doors to each other with clamps.

Those Sukkahs were | Oct. 10, 2019

very cold, very rickety and very wet.

You see, the whole idea of 'plastic' had not come around yet. There weren't any blue tarps or shlocks to be gotten. We used cloths, like painter's drop cloths, to cover our sukkahs in an effort to keep them dry. They did not do a very good job.

What about the s'chach?

Oh, the s'chach! The boys used to get hold of a horse and wagon (no joke!) and traveled down to Jamaica Bay on Rockaway Road to the marshes. They found long-stemmed plants, like some kind of wild grass, with fuzzy little things on

top, growing there near (and inside) the water. I don't know what these unique plants were called.

To me, these grasses appeared to be like the grass growing around the Nile River, in the times of Moshe Rabbeinu.

The boys cut the wild grass with a scythe and piled them up high onto the wagon. They klipklopped back to Boro Park and sold them as s'chach.

There was no other s'chach to be gotten; no bamboo, mats or any type of new innovation.

Those fuzzy little things at the top of the long grasses? Well, the wind blew them everywhere

I

t's Erev Sukkos. Boro Park's streets are buzzing with activity, with happy, bustling crowds, taking care of their many Yom Tov needs.

Was Boro Park always like this before Sukkos? Join me please, for an inspiring, refreshing interview with my beloved Zeidy, as he reminisces about the Sukkos Yomim Tovim of his youth, while growing up in Boro Park, a neighborhood vastly different from the one we know today.

and they usually landed in our soup. When we ate in the Sukkah, we knew that this would be the seasoning of the evening!

How did you decorate the Sukkah?

Remember, those were old doors we used. You couldn't just hang things up. You needed to nail the stuff into those hard, unyielding surfaces. If we used scotch tape (which we didn't, because it was too expensive) the decorations disconnected and fluttered and flapped their way down to the floor, at the first rainfall.

The decorations that we did have were very minimal. I do remember

though, fruit and beautifully designed birds dangling from the schach.

someone had the money and the space, they made their own sukkah.

We spent Yom Tov cleaning out our soup and not touching the fallen decorations that covered the floor.

I remember the sukkah of Oscar Abt a"h. Mr. Abt was my aunt's brother and married the sister of Irving Bunim a"h. He constructed his sukkah alongside his private house. His sukkah contained an unheard-of luxury. He had - believe it or not - radiators in his sukkah! Mr. Abt's heated sukkah was the talk of the town.

Did everyone build a Sukkah?

In the early forties, when I was growing up, people had very little money.

They were just about climbing out of The Great Depression (1929-1939) and could not afford to put together the extra food for Yom Tov, build a sukkah and buy a lulav and esrog. Most people ate their meals in the shul sukkah. However, if

Did families eat together in the shul sukkah, or did every family eat by themselves?

Families did not usually eat together in the shul Oct. 10, 2019 |

sukkah as there was no room. We (the menfolk) had to hurry up and finish, for others were waiting to use the sukkah. The shul sukkahs were not big.

Nothing like these huge shul sukkahs that they put up today that can occupy a quarter of a block!

At night we ate the meals in the sukkah to the glow of candlelight.

Candlelight? Really?

Zeidy, this is not the olden times, we're talking about!

Why, we were used to eating like that! Every Shabbos night we ate our meal to the glow of candlelight until Shabbos clocks were invented, (I think about sometime in the forties). There were no Shabbos clocks until then, no way to turn off the electricity on Shabbos.

The first Shabbos clock was a regular alarm clock with a bell. Attached to that bell was some sort of metal contraption

| Oct. 10, 2019

and a lightbulb. When the bell rang, it pulled at the metal hook and the light went off. And when the light went off, we went to sleep.

How did you transport the food to the Sukkah?

We used an egg carton with handles at the sides to bring the food into the sukkah.

We used iceboxes to keep the food fresh for Yom Tov and all year round. Iceboxes were rather small, with one shelf reserved for the blocks of ice. But the ice would melt. What did we do with the melted ice? There was a metal pan at the bottom of the icebox that collected the water. We kept on emptying those pans.

When we needed more room to keep our food fresh, my mother a"h would put the food into a box-like cabinet with several shelves that hung outside the

kitchen window. The cold temperature acted as a natural refrigerator and kept the food fresh.

My mother bought chicken at the chicken market on thirty-ninth street, where Mike's Dinettes is presently located. She poked and prodded the squawking chickens until she found one to her liking, and the shochet shechted it on the spot.

Zeidy, can you tell me how it was to buy a Lulav and Esrog in those days?

In those days, the arba minim market was in the Lower East Side. I remember getting onto the train in Boro Park with my father a"h and then getting off at the Canal Street stop. We went upstairs to transfer to a different train (I think it is presently the L Train), to get to the Lower East Side.

That was some experience! I loved it!

Boro Park had plenty

of Yidden, but I rarely saw so many, at once. I loved seeing the masses converge upon the tables spread out all over the streets, like on Thirteenth Avenue today. We went from table to table, inspected and examined the esrogim and lulavim, and carefully made our prized selections.

Like I mentioned earlier, people could not afford to spend on arba minim.

Every shul had one (or several) and whoever needed to use them would make a bracha on one of those sets.

During davening, by hoshanos, only the Rav and the important baalabatim circled the shul with arba minim.

If I tell you how much a

lulav and esrog cost then, you wouldn't think it was that much money. But in those days, a nickel got you a dozen fresh rolls in the bakery, plus a bonus one! Bubby recalls that when we got married, in the early sixties, a can of tuna cost twenty-five cents! Owning your own lulav and esrog was not something many people were able to afford in those times.

Interestingly, during the war years, people's businesses picked up.

The war, unfortunately, was good for the economy. As parnassah improved, we began to see many more lulavim and esrogim in shul.

What do you remember

about Simchas Torah?

We danced around the Bimah, carrying a paper flag with an apple stuck on top. We all got an Aliyah. The one and only time in my life I got drunk, was on Simchas Torah. I was twelve years old at the time and drank beer and wine together. I was so sick and never did it again.

What about nosh?

Did you receive any peckelach like the kids of today?

Nosh? What nosh? The only time I recall having peckelach in shul was at a Bar Mitzvah or an Aufruf. The people made the peckelach themselves (who heard of pre-ordered peckelach

Oct. 10, 2019 |

with coordinating color schemes?) and tied it with a string. But my mother was very health-minded.

If I wanted a treat, she told me to take a carrot.

We learnt to live without all the snacks, as there simply wasn't much to be gotten. And when there was, we usually could not afford it.

Where did you daven?

We davened in many wonderful shuls. My father taught me that every shul has something worthwhile to offer. Just like we do our Shabbos shopping - we buy cookies in one bakery, challahs in another and kneidlach in a different store - we choose the best that everyone has to offer. My father always saw the good in everyone.

Some places where we

| Oct. 10, 2019

davened were; Young Israel, Tzeirei Agudas Yisroel, Chust and then Tenka. I davened for years (and still do!) at Shomrei Emunah and B'nei Yehuda.

How did my father get to the Chuster Rav? In Tzeirei, the congregants, with the help of Mike Tress a"h (a good friend of my father's) were very involved in the war effort. They packed and shipped cartons of food to Europe, and then later, once the war was over, tried to bring Yidden over to America and helped them acclimate to their new environment. My father was instrumental in bringing over the Chuster Rav, Harav Yehoshua Greenwald zatzal and assisted him with opening his Bais Medrash. They

became very close.

When he was niftar, my father became very close to the Tenka Rav. Zeidy, thank you for your time and for your overflowing reservoir of memories. I'd love to hear more about the days that Boro Park looked more like a farm, than the crowded, always-underconstruction city it has become. It seems like we'll have to continue at a different time, though, as I'm running out of word space.

Any final words you'd like to share with us?

Mamale, what can I tell you? I think in those days we appreciated the mitzvos of Sukkos that much more. Oh yes, the mitzvos were harder to perform and we needed to put in lots of effort, but when you put koach into something, it becomes a lot more valuable. Nowadays, all you need to do to have a kosher Sukkah is 'Pay for it, Pop it up and Sit down'! People should appreciate the ability to do the mitzvos of Sukkos easily and comfortably and not take them for granted. And everyone should have a happy, healthy Yom Tov! â–

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Contemporary Contemplativeness I sit in my sukkah and contemplate, My annual ''sukkah debate''.

Hoping to find the right answer this year, With all of you to finally share.

Join me as I lift my eyes, To the star studded skies.

Visible between the gaps, Of the many cracks in the sukkah mats.

Follow me as I switch gears, To the mismatched folding chairs.

Beneath clusters of plastic grapes, Colored stars and homemade drapes.

Down to the worn out floor, Bent under the crooked door.

Fluorescent bulbs on flimsy chains, Windows without glassy panes.

Why is it that despite?

Imperfections that I see tonight.

My heart and soul just overflow, With that special sukkah glow.

Basking in the security, Of endless eternity.

Not minding a single bit, The humbleness in which I sit.

Is it because I know for sure?

That starting from this very door.

Everything is "temporary", Perfection is not necessary!

Things don't have to be in place, Within the sukkah's warm embrace.

Who cares about trend and style, When it's just for a short while...

Sisters, let us get this straight, I think there's no need for debate.

The answer is con"temporary", Explanations are unnecessary!

If our humble sukkah abode, Puts us into "relax mode".

Pure bliss and true happiness, Because of its "temporariness…"

Then all we really have to do, You'll remind me, I'll remind you.

Remember this lesson loud and clear, Our homes are sukkahs throughout the year!

We're only here for a short while, Let us live our life in "style".

Our nashamos to adorn and please, Straighten our priorities…

And with this new and clear hadracha, We can make a joyful bracha.

Leisheiv B'sukkah in unity, A bracha for eternity! ■ The author can be contacted at: 914-299-5744 Oct. 10, 2019 |

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A Sikkah'le A Kleine Of Space, Strategy & Simcha

W

hen it comes to sukkah building, we become, by necessity, an innovative people. Just walk the streets and you'll find a sukkah stuck in every alley and crevice that fits all the requirements according to halacha. And if the long arm of the law should come by and ask you to demolish the 'unsafe, illegal structure' that you put up without a permit?

Well, if you're smart you'll answer like the man in the story did: "Give me eight days and I'll arrange for it to be taken down, Officer."

"We used to live in a small four story walk up, where the yard was neglected and overgrown.

Every year I had to go clean up the place so I could build the sukkah. One year, I even had to haul away a dead cat! Being that another neighbor and I were the only Jewish families in our house, we shared the single sukkah. He ate the seudah first, and then we took our turn, and then the opposite on the next day. It was the perfect arrangement for both of us."

-Chaim Mordechai Ackerman

| Oct. 10, 2019

"There's no room to build a succah anywhere on our property. We rely on grandparents and other gracious relatives for seudos.

But we certainly don't leave the male members of the family stranded when they want to quench their thirst or grab a bite! We set up a travel pop up sukkah and plant it right in the middle of the street. There's enough room for others to pass, and anyway, it's Sukkos for everybody, isn't it?"

-Rochel Leah Lubart

By Chana Friedman

"Our apartment has a porch that is enclosed by a gate with slats. We take what looks like large stick-a-licks, and weave it through the slats. This creates a low sukkah that's perfect for sleeping in."

-Chayala Lesin

"When we moved in to our 6th floor apartment, we realized that the storage closet gave us access to the roof through an opening with a pull-down ladder. The closet was 6-7 feet long, and the opening in the ceiling measured a scant 3 feet. My husband managed to get a dayan to come down, who then pronounced it kosher. We bought schach to fit the opening, and we fit in a little table. Some sukkah decorations on the closet wall gave it a more authentic feel. I even squeezed in a mattress for the night! For the meals, my husband sat under the opening and I sat on the other side. It couldn't have been more perfect."

-Esther Saltzer

"Although we have a large sukkah off our kitchen for the seudos, my father built makeshift walls out of Coca Cola crates around the master bedroom porch to sleep in. However temporary this low structure was meant to be, it now stays there all year round. It keeps everybody happy – my father gets his privacy and all the married children and grandkids can use the regular sukkah to their heart's content!"

-Racheli Schneider

"For lack of better real estate, we build our Lego sukkah on the fire escape. We leave space in the schach so our upstairs neighbor has access to our escape, if necessary, and block off our steps by tying a corrugated board to two Lego board, which holds it suspended above the steps. A 33" mattress just about fills the space so my husband has the ability to sleep in the sukkah – and stay home."

- Mindy Citron

Oct. 10, 2019 |

An Apartment A Kleine Large Families in Small Spaces:

By: Liba Gottehrer

| Oct. 10, 2019

M

eet your neighbor post Sukkos down the street, wave hello and wonder, "How much of what was going on in our sukkah were you privy to? Did you follow along with all the arguing and politics of who gets to sit on the bench, who gets the honor of serving and has the disadvantage of clearing off? It's a fact: the space rationing in the sukkah usually manages to stretch our patience thin. And yet, there are some families that live like this all year.

Meet one of the amazing people who make it work.

Oct. 10, 2019 |

Mrs. Krakauer speaks: I feel very blessed to have a beautiful family of seven, kein yirbu. We live in a one-bedroom apartment, and all of the kids sleep in the dining room. There's a bunkbed and a hi-riser, as well as three crib mattresses on the floor that get piled up in a corner in the morning. I used to have kids sleep on the couch, but we got rid of it last year to make room for more beds. My children are very happy with the sleeping arrangements. It works out so well that on Friday nights, when the hour is late and the little ones grow sleepy, they can pull out their beds and cuddle up close to Mommy - and still be a part of the seudah! This of course limits the table space, so once the beds come out we only sit on one side. The upside is that there's no such thing as being afraid of the dark in our family!

Breakfasts and suppers aren't much of a big deal, either. For the rare | Oct. 10, 2019

occasion when the entire family eats together, I have two folding chairs that leave their place against the wall and join us at the table. Mostly, though, the kids come home in shifts so that mealtime is staggered.

Interestingly, my children feel very comfortable bringing home friends to study and play.

Last year, my son headed a choir, and marched into the house one day with no less than eight boys to practice!

The comedy of a choir in my tiny home coupled with my son's obliviousness and was just too funny. I couldn't let the moment pass without recording it for posterity with a video.

And you could say I was used to it – I host my simchos at home, too. Our upsherins are men-only affairs, and women and children can come over afterwards for pekelach.

This has another perk – it keeps the standard simple, something that the rest of my family is

happy to imitate. Larger simchos like Bar Mitzvas happen in a hall. Until this summer, I was happy to take my siblings' kids when they celebrated their own simchos, and they always accepted. The niece or nephew would sleep in one of the kids' beds, and I would bring up a sukkah bed as the extra. For some reason, my kids always fought to sleep on the sukkah bed!

One funny story occurred when we were a family of five. My sistern-law had a baby, and although I would always take on an extra kid, for some reason no one else was being home for Shabbos. That meant that I was the lucky recipient of three guests! We pulled out the Pack-n-Play for one and two kids slept on the couch. For the seudah, we brought up a bench from the building's basement.

We even hosted the baby's father for the Friday night meal! That was definitely a

Shabbos to remember.

I genuinely feel that Hashem prepared me for my situation and gave me the tools I need to manage.

I'm the kind of person who loves the garbage can.

Whatever is not useful gets dumped. I'm also extremely organized. I remember taking pictures of my suitcases before I went to camp, because I was so proud of how neatly I packed. We manage without extra furniture in order to reduce clutter.

Every child has one drawer in my dresser. That means that there's room for each of them to have exactly four sets of clothes per season, besides for uniforms. I give away or throw out the spares. In case you think I get rid of all my kids' artn-crafts and prizes, let me enlighten you: each child has a prize box for the things they hold dearest.

They know that this is all the space they're getting, so if the prize box is full, they'll copy me and start

"organizing" and dumping the old and useless, to make room for more. (I have one child who's a bit more of a hoarder, and he does have a bigger prize box to store all his junk.)

We even maximize our car - it's the storage closet for extra tissues, paper towel and the like. Chores and laundry are very systematic, being that I don't have spare space to have unfolded or un-ironed loads sitting around.

Whatever is washed gets put away right away. In the kitchen department, however small the space is, I feel that it's important to let the children mess around and practice their culinary skills, as long as they clean up. If I can't handle the noise or mess while they work, I walk out. I don't want them ever to associate our living conditions with negativity.

There is definitely a sense of responsibility that they have that other children don't, but I don't

think they resent the circumstances. It's not like we downsized from a one family house. It sort of grew on them as each additional child was born.

Also, the children always knew that were trying our best to find something else that will work for us.

We were advised by daas Torah not to move out to a different developing neighborhood, and we were on the lookout for something local for a very long time.

There were many options that we thought would work and eventually fell through.

Though some wouldn't agree, we did keep the children up to date with the house hunting, so they're always in the know. Baruch Hashem, we recently found something and we're currently in the middle of renovating so that we can move. I'm looking forward to continue using my space saving and organization skills, in our new home. â– Oct. 10, 2019 |

for being s nk rt of the a TH a pa in family adr h Me

W i s h i n g yo u a n i c e - cr e a

Every year, we set out to achieve more great tastes than ever -but we can't do it on our own. So we’re wrapping up the Season with a thank you to the people who matter most: each and every one of you. Thank you for picking us off the supermarket shelf.

Thank you for telling us when we get it right. And thank you for choosing Mehadrin to make life’s sweet moments even sweeter.

Tov, m - sw e e t n e w ye ar a n d w o n d e r f u l Yo m drin! at M e h a f ro m a l l yo u r f r i e n d s

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The Professional

Novice

The Voice of the Shadchan in You

By: Chevi Danzinger

I

t was in the middle of their meal that the NASI shidduch project advertisement caught her attention.

With a family of five, Sari had thought it time to try a Yom Tov meal at home. A surprised and pleased Baruch requested Shabbos Chol Hamoed Succos. Sari drew the line, though, insisting that she wasn't ready to run up and down to serve in a sukkah the size of a broom closet, so they settled for a Shemini Atzeres meal in the dining room.

The mood was light, the kids were happily bowling with the empty seltzer bottles, and Sari riffled through the magazine after dessert. "Why do they keep doing that?" she asked her husband, nudging the ad with her elbow. | Oct. 10, 2019

"Why does who keep doing what?"

Burach reached for the mayim acharonim cup.

"Y'know, if someone thoughe of a good shidduch idea they're going to be excited to redt it. If they're not, they're obviously not confident that's it's a good idea."

Baruch, who was in no mood for a philosophical conversation, decided to play it noncommittal. "I guess so." His bed was waiting.

Sari didn't get the hint. "I mean, they wouldn't be wasting money for nothing. I guess some people have good ideas and are just lazy." Lightning flashed in her brain.

She followed up on it with a roll of thunder.

"Hey!" "Yeah?"

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"I once thought of a really good idea for my cousin Leah's daughter, Chayala. You know my workmate Yehudis? She's always talking about her sister's friend Faigy Kanner, and I know they have a son now.

It would so work."

"Nu?" Baruch asked, his interest level rising slightly.

"What, nu? I can't talk to Chayala directly – Leah would have a royal fit if I bypassed her – and I am not calling Leah. It takes all my energy just to talk to her about the weather. She's going to make some snide comment about how I think I'm old enough to play shadchan and that I should give it over to someone professional. You know I don't like when people don't take me seriously."

Baruch shifted in his chair. "So why don't you just give it over? You'll call someone after Yom Tov, and then you'll feel good that you weren't lazy. I mean, like the people the magazine was targeting," he added hastily.

Sari mulled over his suggestion.

"Maybe. Can we bentch already?" Baruch smiled wryly. "Yes, we can."

Nine internal debates later, Sari made up her mind. She would call Mrs. Kanner first - they were strangers anyway, and they had the boy, and if they said yes… that's where the plan ended. She called on a Tuesday. They called back the following Sunday with a yes. It was time to launch part two of the non-plan. At that point, she was confident enough with the suggestion to attempt calling Leah herself. She also really didn't feel like 'giving away' the idea. A hazy fantasy in her brain saw Leah hugging and thanking her at the vort, lauding her efforts, and giving her that acknowledging nod on the street thereafter. Somehow, informing Leah that it had been her idea just didn't have the

same effect.

She called her sister first, though she knew she would feel stupid if Nechama heard she was thinking of playing shadchan. The need for advice was greater.

What was she supposed to do if Leah was interested? The salamanders from Chaim's summer project partied in her stomach as she pressed talk to start dialing. There was a series of beeps and a voice asked uncertainly, "Hello?"

"Hi - Nechama? Sorry - we're you in the middle of calling someone?" Relief and disappointment interchangeably fogged her thoughts.

"Yes, actually, I was dialing you. Where was the baby sale you were talking about

by Mommy?"

"Uh," Sari was caught so off guard she couldn't remember. "Where I got those pajamas for the kids? It was a pop-up store somewhere – give me a sec and I'll find the number. They might have closed for the season already. Nechama, if I want to suggest a shidduch for Chayala, how do I go about it?"

Sari sucked in her breath.

"That would be really nice of you if you would actually do that."

The balloon in her lungs deflated. "You think?"

"Yeah. Who are you giving it over to?"

"Well, I was actually thinking of calling Leah myself. If you think of something, say something. The store's number is 718454-8749. Listen, I need your help. What do I do if she's interested? The boy already said yes."

"Nothing. Just set up a date and say some tehillim. No big deal. And Sari?"

"Hmmm?"

"Most of these ideas don't work out.

Just keep it in mind."

Sari resisted the urge to say but I have Oct. 10, 2019 |

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a good feeling about this and they are so the same type I can see it happening yesterday. She merely thanked Nechama and hung up.

Leah got back to her a few days later, cautiously, even suspiciously, interested.

A date was set for Monday night at six.

Sari couldn't concentrate all Monday.

When Baruch came home at 6:30, she was already up to her tenth kapital of tehillim.

Baruch glanced at the hastily set table and half-done salad. He opened his mouth to ask, then remembered the date and quickly

Calm down.

You're only the shadchan, Sari. You've got to keep it cool.

People do this all the time shifted his expression to neutral. Sari motioned hi, then finished the kapital and joined him in the kitchen. He could almost predict what she would say next.

"You think it's going well, Baruch? How was your day? I really hope it's working out over there. Why aren't they calling me yet? I'm so nervous, Baruch, you think it's gonna happen?"

At 10:30, Baruch also began wondering why they hadn't called yet. Sari was walking around, alternately looking at the

| Oct. 10, 2019

clock and the phone. Finally, she called Nechama.

"Nu?" Nechama asked her little sister, instantly attentive.

"I don't know – they didn't call yet!

What's going on?" Sari felt like every muscle was stretched taut.

"Calm down. You're only the shadchan, Sari. You've got to keep it cool. People do this all the time. You can't get so worked up and involved by every date. Listen, the boy's side doesn't always call back that night. What's if he just got home? He'll want to talk to his parents, and he might be ready to call you at twelve. If that's the case, expect a call tomorrow morning. If he doesn't call you, then you could probably contact him to find out what's happening."

"Gotcha. I still should've told them that they can call at any hour."

"No, you shouldn't have.

You're doing fine, Sari."

"Hold on a second, Nechama, Leah's calling!"

Sari didn't even bid Nechama good night. She transferred to Leah's call and picked up with what she hoped was a measured "Hello?" Leah answered in an equally measured voice, but Sari thought she detected an apprehensive anticipation.

"Hi, Leah. They didn't call yet, but that's normal. He probably just got home and is still talking to his parents." Sari mentally thanked Nechama.

"All right. I know it's weird that I called you now, but we're family, and‌" Leah's justification trailed off, and Sari stifled an urge to giggle. Leah was excusing herself to her?

"All good," she responded soothingly,

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her confidence rising a couple of notches.

"I'll keep you posted."

The Kanners never called. The next morning at a quarter after ten she decided it was late enough to call them. She had to press 'talk' three times, being that she kept hitting 'end' a second later. Finally, she waited it out – and was rewarded with a voicemail. Sari breathed deeply.

She couldn't muster the nerve to leave a message, as unprofessional as it was.

When she checked her phone at her lunchbreak, she had three missed calls from Baruch, one from her mother, who was being periodically updated, and two from Nechama. Boy, was she popular today…Oooh! Missed - Faigy Kanner!

Twice! She went to find a private corner where she could return the call. 

Sari waited until she was calm enough before she called Nechama later that night.

Nechama picked up on the first ring, and Sari smiled despite herself. "Hi, Nechama, it's a no-go."

"What does that mean?"

"Exactly that. They said no."

"Okay, perfectly normal, did you ask why?"

"She claims that the families are not compatible, whatever that means."

"So what did you say?"

Sari's frustration threatened to errupt.

"What should I say? I said goodbye! It's over, Nechama! Now I have to call Leah, and I can't see it happening… She's going to –" Sari was too drained to finish the sentence.

Nechama gave Sari her space for a moment. Then she spoke softly. "Sari, I know you're upset. But you're the shadchan. You need to be objective. Call back Mrs. Kanner and try to convince her

to tell her son to give it another shot. Tell her that dozens of families have parents from very diverse backgrounds, and it's not a reason to say no. Sometimes boys say no even if they're just a bit unsure. It's a protection technique, so they don't have to feel rejected when their date turns them down."

Sari thought of her own engagement to Baruch. Had they been so hard on the shadchan? She sighed. She listened as Nechama instructed her kids on the postdinner kitchen cleanup. Sari sighed again as she looked at her own, neglected kitchen.

Who knew that a shidduch could take over your life? "Alright, gotta go," she interjected between Nechama's dirty dishes and sweeping instructions. "Thanks, coach."

Sari waited until Baruch got a handle on her own kids' bedtime routine, then locked herself into the bedroom, and took the plunge. "Hi, Faigy. How are you?"

There was a tentative "Hello," and then an expectant silence. Sari dove in. "Hi. I know you said your son didn't want to continue with this because he wasn't comfortable with the family. I was just thinking that so many couples come from such different family backgrounds – and have beautiful marriages. And anyway – second dates are practically protocol. They carry no weight in the commitment department."

Sari stopped and drew in her breath.

Faigy responded slowly. "I hear what you're saying, and I appreciate that you're thinking of us." Give me a few minutes, I'll let you know. Sari waited tensely and intermittently pleaded with Hashem. Then the call came. "Fine. You're right. Ancestry isn't the most important thing, and it's only a second date…"

Sari nearly danced from excitement.

"Great. I'll get back to you as soon as I speak to the other side." She hung up

Oct. 10, 2019 |

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before Mrs. Kanner could change her mind. Adrenaline pumping, she allowed herself to take out the blender for a huge ice coffee. Still musing about how easily he said yes, she settled down with the icecream topped concoction, found Leah's number, and pressed 'talk.'

It took but a minute for one of Leah's boys to answer. Sari began pacing as she waited for Leah to take the call. She rehearsed the conversation mentally, while her abandoned ice coffee melted slowly onto the leather couch. Finally, she heard

She picked up the phone and pressed 'talk', confident that she had done the right thing Leah take the phone, enter what was presumably a quiet room, and close a door.

"Hi, Sari."

"Hi. How are you?" Sari was unable to restrain herself from getting straight to the point. "Okay. The other side said yes."

There was an odd silence on the other end. "That's good to hear. Did you hear anything specific about the date?"

Sari wondered about the question. Did Leah think that just because they were related she was entitled to a blow-by-blow account of everything the boy said and did? "Nothing that I remember, they just | Oct. 10, 2019

said that it went very well and he's ready to go out with her again."

"I hear. Because Chayala came home… she's not sure that this is for her."

Sari thought she was going to double over. Leah couldn't do this to her! Not after she worked so hard to protect her – she was supposed to say yes! The shidduch had to happen! And there was no way Sari was telling Mrs. Kanner that Chayala said no, not after she convinced her to give it another go. She pushed her whirling emotions out of the picture and focused on the conversation. "Was there an explicit reason or thing that Chayala was unhappy with?"

A thoughtful pause. "No, she just said she didn't feel like it was for her. That she can't see this becoming a long-term thing."

"I hear you." Sari vacillated between pushing one more time or letting her dream go.

She opted for more persuading, but Leah wasn't giving her a concrete reason to work with.

"You're sure about this," she stated.

Leah sounded apologetic.

"I guess we are. I really appreciate that you tried, though. It's very thoughtful and courageous of you. Suggesting a shidduch isn't easy, and I respect anyone who does."

Sari sighed and ended the call.

It wouldn't be fair to push off calling the Kanners, even just for one day. Sari knew what it felt like to be left hanging. It was getting late. She would have to make the call now. She picked up the phone and pressed 'talk', confident that she had done the right thing, knowing that if the opportunity arose, she would do the identical thing all over again. ■

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Feast of Elegance | Oct. 10, 2019

S

ukkos evokes memories of cozy Yom Tov meals under a star-filled sky. Surrounded by family and friends, the table is alive with singing and good food. While the Sukkah may be a temporary dwelling, we still decorate it festively, and set the table with holiday elegance.

Sukkos is called Zman Simchaseinu- "The Time of our Joy". Among the many reasons to rejoice, it comes to show that we are celebrating our long season of Davening and Introspection. We celebrate and beautify the Chag because we are certain that Hashem accepted our sincere resolutions and will grant us a new year full of bountiful, beautiful life.

This week we bring you inspiration to create your own Sukkos Table. Surrounded by your humble wooden enclave, take a cue from Mother Nature to set your earth-inspired Autumnal tablescape. Allow earthy tones, bright fall colors, and good food to set the stage for your ultimate Sukkos dining experience.

Chag Sameach!

-Sarah F.

Oct. 10, 2019 |

Decorline Dishes No need to wash those towering piles of dishes anymore! Use Decorline's exclusive collection of tableware to create an effortless tablescape that will take minutes clean away.

Waterdale Bud Vases These beautiful, modern bud vases are from the Waterdale Collection. Easily fill them with some inexpensive flowers and fillers to create a beautiful and economyfriendly, floral centerpiece.

Eucalyptus Leaf Runner Create the perfect DIY Table runner with some Silver Dollar Eucalyptus. Simply lay a few bunches in a long chain and fasten with floral wire or tape.

Keep in a cool place and out of direct sunlight for a longlasting Sukkos centerpiece.

ABOUT THE EDITOR: Sarah F. is a certified copywriter, columnist, and food enthusiast who's committed to elevating your everyday cooking experience.

In her spare time, she's busy creating web copy, sketching advertorials, drafting resumes, and researching exotic foods.

You can easily get in touch to leave feedback, chat about recipes, or to request a write-up of your choice. thestatementwriter@ gmail.com

| Oct. 10, 2019

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These individual little salmon bites will make a fresh, new variation to your salmon repertoire. Don't forgo on the dipping sauce - it takes minutes to prepare and adds a whole new dimension to the dish.

-Sarah F.

Almond Coconut Crusted Salmon Skewers Ingredients: 3.

• • • • • •

• • •

Salmon: 12 oz. boneless, skinless salmon fillet, cubed (About 4 fillet slices) 1 cup flour 2 eggs, beaten 2/3 cup almond flour 1/3 cup shredded coconut Salt and pepper Honey Lemon Dipping Sauce: ¾ cup mayonnaise 2 T honey Juice of 1 small lemon (or 3 T lemon juice)

Directions: 1. Salmon: Preheat oven to 375° and line a baking sheet with parchment paper.

2. Wash salmon cubes and pat dry with paper towel. Season | Oct. 10, 2019

4.

5.

6.

with salt and pepper.

Place flower and beaten eggs in separate shallow bowls. In a third shallow bowl, combine the almond flour with coconut flakes. Dredge salmon cubes into flour, then dip into eggs, followed by the almond coconut mixture (Make sure they're entirely coated). Place on prepared baking sheet and season with salt and pepper. Fully coat each cube with cooking spray.

Bake for 15-20 minutes until golden brown (you can also try frying the salmon bites). Remove from oven and let cool.

Dipping Sauce: In a small bowl, combine all ingredients and mix until smooth.

Assembly: Thread salmon cubes into decorative toothpicks or skewers. Serve with honey lemon dipping sauce. Enjoy!

Sukkos Night Suedas conjure an image of nestling hot bowls of soup in the chilled Autumn air. This hearty, blended medley is the perfect thing to warm your hearts and create that cozy Yom Tov Aatmosphere. This soup is also great to freeze and rewarm for a Chol Homoed Supper. Enjoy!

-Sarah F.

Autumn Soup with Pulled Flanken Garnish Ingredients: • 4 T oil • 1 medium onion, diced • 3 cloves garlic, diced • 2 zucchinis, unpeeled and cubed • 1 butternut squash, unpeeled and cubed (or 1 bag frozen cubed butternut squash) • 1 sweet potato, cubed • 1 medium carrot, sliced • 3 small parsnips, cubed • 5 cups chicken soup (or 5 tsp chicken soup mix dissolved in 5 cups water) • ¼ tsp thyme • ½ tsp smoked paprika • Salt and black pepper to taste • 1 lb. Bone-in Flanken

Directions: 1. In an 8 quart pot, heat the oil over medium-high heat. Sauté the onions and garlic until translucent. Add the rest of ingredients and fill with water to cover. Place the flanken in a wrap-and-boil bag and add to to the pot. Let cook for about 1 ½ hours.

2. Remove the bag of Flanken and shred the beef off the bones. Set aside.

3. Using an immersion blender, blend the soup until smooth.

Serve hot with pulled beef and chopped parsley garnish.

Oct. 10, 2019 |

Perfect to whip up in the lastminute Yom Tov rush, these sticky short ribs are almost effortless to make and burst with melt-in-your mouth gourmet flavor. Short Ribs are a pricier cut of meat, but this savory barbeque sauce will make completely worth the extra splurge!

-Sarah F.

Sticky Barbeque Short Ribs Ingredients: • 12 medium spare ribs • 1 cup ketchup • 1 cup brown sugar • 4 T vinegar • 1 tsp crushed red pepper • 2 tsp soy sauce • 1-2 cloves crushed garlic Directions: 1. Preheat oven to 400° and line a large, deep baking pan with parchment paper.

2. Wash spare ribs and lay on

| Oct. 10, 2019

3.

the prepared pan. Pat dry with paper towels and season with salt and pepper.

In a medium bowl, combine the sauce ingredients. Pour sauce over the spare ribs, taking care that all ribs are entirely coated. Cover the ribs with an additional layer of parchment paper on top (to retain moisture).

Tightly cover the pan with aluminum foil. Place in oven and bake for 4 hours. Remove from oven and serve with extra sauce on top. Garnish with parsley flakes or Verdini Greens.

An easy, savory side that the entire family will love. These onioninfused red potatoes go great with virtually any main dish (make sure to set some aside just for snacking;).

With so little prep time, these potatoes will make a great addition to your Chol Homoed dinner!

-Sarah F.

Crisped Onion Red Potatoes Ingredients: • 2 heaping cups mini red potatoes (optional: cut in half) • 1 cup mayonnaise • 3 T onion soup mix • 4 T crispy fried onions • ½ tsp black pepper • ½ tsp dried rosemary (optional) Directions: 1. Preheat oven to 400°. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper.

2. Wash and dry the mini red potatoes.

3.

4.

Spread onto prepared baking sheet.

In a small bowl, combine the mayonnaise, onion soup mix, crispy fried onions, and black pepper. Spread mixture onto red potatoes until fully coated.

Place in oven and bake for about 20-30 minutes until the edges of potatoes are browned, and they're soft from the inside (Note: The baking time may increase if you're using larger sized red potatoes).

Oct. 10, 2019 |

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Love? | Oct. 10, 2019

S

hani was one of the most welldressed little girls I ever taught.

She had four different colored (summer and winter) Shabbos shoes, and numerous weekday shoes - one for every reason and season.

Her wardrobe was an up to the minute reflection of the fashion scene. When Shani wore metallic colored dresses, we learnt that silvers, golds, coppers - anything that sparkled and shimmered - were the latest 'in' colors. And when Shani sported huge feathers in her hair, we figured that feathers were the most recent 'thing'. Her carefully curated apparel kept us apprised about every (forever-changing) style and flimsy fashion fad.

Her clothes were expensive. A quilted white spring jacket she wore once (!) had the price tag dangling from it (intentionally?) and was priced at $149.99.

She never wore it again. She didn't need to.

Instead she wore her many other raincoats, jackets, sweaters and capes.

One winter night I received an irate phone call from Shani's mother.

"Morah Schwartz, Shani's removable fur lining from her coat is missing! That was genuine fox fur!" she fumed. "It's worth a small fortune!"

Oh. I promised Shani's mother that I'd search the school building until I found the lining. The lining was eventually found and returned. In the interim, little Shani was kept toasty warm in an authentic rabbit fur coat.

Although Shani entered the classroom each day like a child modeling for a fashion magazine, she was not a happy child.

Blond curls framed her beautiful, dimpled face, but her eyes were bitter and sad.

Shani did not get along with the other children in class. She teased the other

girls with seemingly malicious delight. As for obeying authority - what authority?

She did whatever she pleased, whenever she pleased. Already the first day of school Shani brazenly strutted around the classroom - when she had ought to be sitting at her desk - all the while sticking her tongue out at the teacher (me!).

With great siyatta dishmaya, after a long while, and with lots of effort, Shani was firmly yet lovingly taught appropriate classroom behaviors. Although she initially snubbed her dainty little nose at any discipline attempt, she slowly came around and blossomed in the safe and predictable confines of secure boundaries and a warm, understanding environment.

Shani's bitterness gradually lessened and her interactions with the other little girls evolved into pleasant exchanges. Defiance and distrust faded with time and revealed a sweet, endearing personality in their place.

Shani lapped up positive attention like parched grass thirstily drinking water. She craved connection and loved to schmooze with her teachers. We developed a close and affectionate relationship with her.

One day, Shani was chatting with me during free play. Suddenly, her blue eyes opened wide with wonder when she excitedly exclaimed"Morah, do you know what my Mommy gave me yesterday?"

I was intrigued. What could excite this little girl? Another pair of shoes? Perhaps a new dress or matching headband? Or maybe a new toy?

"What did your Mommy give you, Shani?" I asked.

"Morah, guess what! Yesterday," she paused dramatically and lowered her voice to a whisper, "Yesterday, before I went to sleep, my Mommy, she gave me a hug!" â– Oct. 10, 2019 |

6

TRAINING GROUND

BY CHAVA LEAH BEER

R

ecap: A promising match is suggested for Shoshana, but it is soon nixed due to the potential boy's lack of positive interpersonal qualities. Her friend Miri is suffering from burnout and she suggests they take a trip together.

chapter six "When are we gonna get there, Tatty?"

"Soon, soon. Did you see the sign, Monticello, 40 miles?"

"I wanna go swimming!"

The Roth clan was hot and full of caged-in energy. They were tired of sitting in the cramped minivan and they simply couldn't wait to breathe the fresh country air and run freely in the open fields, away from the stifling

| Oct. 10, 2019

city and its crowded streets. Ayala, at 16, would be leading the day camp at the bungalow colony, and she had so many exciting ideas sizzling in her overactive mind. She'd been looking forward to this for so long‌ What followed next happened so fast that Ayala couldn't even remember the events clearly. A huge bang shook the car and they stopped short, the sound of crunching metal and breaking glass filling her eardrums. The younger children began screaming. In the front seat, Mommy cried, "Yanky! Shimmy!

Ayala! Sori! Dina!"

"Help!"

"I'm scared!"

Ayala's neck hurt from whiplash.

She couldn't see what was in front of their car. Was it another vehicle?

A guardrail?

"Help is coming, kids," Mommy said.

Now they heard sirens and each of them were being helped out of the car into a waiting Hatzolah ambulance. Men asked Ayala over and over if she was okay. She kept looking back at the car, at the crumpled fender and the huge dark shape in front of it, blood pooling on the road. One by one, her sobbing siblings and her mother assembled at the side of the road. But Tatty, where was Tatty?

Ayala sat up in bed, sweat pouring down her face. Again, the same old nightmare.

It was so real. She could almost touch the glass, hear the sirens and smell the smoke. When would it stop haunting her?

She could never tell Mommy about it; Mommy's tears would only exacerbate her pain. She felt the palpitations.

Ayala closed her eyes and tried to find a comfortable position. The stillness of the night and the strip of moonlight shining in from between the blinds did little to calm her.

How could they have forgotten?

Last week, the class had ended in the middle of the captivating story of Tova, a young girl who miraculously survived the war along with her mother. Her father had been murdered in front of her eyes, while her brother was brutally snatched away by the same ruthless SS guards and never seen again.

"She was the only one of her siblings lucky enough to survive. But she lived the rest of her life in survival mode. She never became completely functional again.

She lived a long but unproductive life and passed away recently, depressed and lonely."

She paused as she looked around the room.

"Do any of you remember Tova?"

The members of her audience, ranging from bright-eyed seminary graduates to senior citizens, exchanged quizzical glances.

"C'mon, I'm sure at least some of you knew her?"

Still no sign of recognition.

"OK, I'll give you a clue. No one called her Tova. They called her 'The Paper Lady.'

A collective gasp rippled through the room.

The Paper Lady had a name? The homeless woman obsessed with reading the newspaper had once

A collective gasp rippled through the room.

The Paper Lady had a name?



The animated conversation gradually died down and Reb. Thaler cleared her throat.

"Okay, ladies. Remember Tova?"

Everyone nodded vigorously.

Oct. 10, 2019 |

been a real person? She was so much part of the scenery on the Avenue; somehow, it was hard to envision her as a human being, just like them.

"The purpose of this class is to open our eyes and view our fellow Jews and all people with new eyes. Everyone has a story. Let me tell you how I know about Tova's background."

Reb. Thaler accepted a cup of water, made a bracha, and took a sip.

"Tova was my mother's good friend back in Europe. She was a regular, 'normal' girl, like everyone else. But after she went through the horrors of the war, she snapped. She could not function properly and was obsessed only with newspapers.

Her father had always encouraged her to read the news, to know what was happening in the big world out there. 'One can never be informed enough,' he would say. Information is a valuable tool that could save lives."

There was no need to explain further.

"Tova's story is a rather severe case of PTSD, or post-traumatic stress disorder. The trauma in this

case was a whole series of events, but probably the main one was witnessing her father perishing before her eyes. When the war was over, she came to America and became a hermit. She hardly spoke, even to her own mother."

Reb. Thaler went on to list a whole host of symptoms related to PTSD, as well as societal factors and cases she had personally dealt with. Shoshana took conscientious notes, but her mind was elsewhere.

Antisocial.

N o n v e r b a l .

Experiencing trauma. What kind of girl had Ayala been before the accident?

Did she suffer from this condition? Was there hope for her?

"As a disclaimer," she heard Reb. Thaler say, "this class does not qualify any of you to diagnose anyone with this condition. However, it does equip you with the necessary knowledge to help lead a friend or loved one to a professional to check out the source of any worrying symptoms."

Antisocial.

Nonverbal.

Experiencing trauma.

What kind of girl had Ayala been before the accident?

Did she suffer from this condition?

| Oct. 10, 2019



I must get down to the bottom of this, Shoshana thought.

How could she find out what

Ayala was like before the accident?

Suddenly, a spark of inspiration hit.

Just the other day, a girl had come into the clinic and noticing Ayala, had commented to her, "Too bad you're working already; otherwise you could be in Bais Yehudis's play. We're having a blast!" Ayala had turned straight back to face the computer and Shoshana couldn't help but notice her shoulders drooping more than usual.

There were countless conversations going on in the busy office throughout the day; the fact that she remembered this snippet was clearly providential.

Twelfth grade, Bais Yehudis. Now, how can I go about getting a class list or finding out who her friends are?

Shoshana thought, scratching her head with the pen she was holding. Sitting at the kitchen table after work one day, she doodled aimlessly, drawing flowers of all sizes and coloring them in. Scribbling and drawing, they always helped her think.

Just then, a funny thought occurred to her, and she laughed aloud. That was the person who could help!

"What's so funny, Shoshana?" she heard Grandma's voice from behind her. "Can you share the joke with your old grandma?"

Shoshana stood up and offered her grandmother a chair. "I just had an idea, but I don't think you'd find it funny," she explained.

“Well, in my day, it wasn’t considered polite to laugh out loud and not share the joke.

Nowadays, though, you can just put a little gadget on your ear and if you want to laugh or cry out loud, you won’t look like the town’s fool. After all, you must be talking to someone…”

“You’re right, Grandma. But what do you mean by the ‘town’s fool’?”

S h o s h a n a capitalized on every possible opportunity of temporary lucidness to engage her grandmother in interesting conversation.

“When I was growing up on the Lower East Side, we kids would follow Yankel the fool around, as he sang the most beautiful songs out loud and painfully off tune…”

Grandma launched into a detailed account of Yankel’s foibles and Shoshana tried her best to show interest.

Eventually, Grandma grew tired. Shoshana thanked her for the fascinating history lesson and delicately ended the conversation.

The fact that she remembered this snippet was clearly providential

To be continued... ■

Oct. 10, 2019 |

BETWEEN THE STALLS Flash Fiction by: Etty Berkowitz

S

he fingered the tablecloth, and the plastic slid easily on her sweating hands.

"Pleather," the vendor called it. "All the rage now, perfect for your sukkah table, madam." She heard his voice, extolling the features of his waterproof table linens, and how they wouldn't get soggy in the rain. But she smiled at him | Oct. 10, 2019

calling her "madam."

She knew she shouldn't have come. Oh, she dressed modestly for her visit to 13th Avenue. Looking the way she usually did would raise too many eyebrows.

But it was clear to anyone seeing her that she was an outsider. She didn't have the "look" down pat. But she was trying.

Next to her was a young woman, probably the same

age. But she looked older, more settled perhaps? The woman wore a neat, freshly styled wig. "How much for three yards of the floral white-on-white?" she heard her inquire.

She moved on to the next table, gently caressing the esrogim, recalling smelling their citrusy scent on her hands, remembering the spicy fragrance and the indentations on her

Nearly 150 years of experience Five generations of family heritage Millions of bottles enjoyed One commitment to quality

fingers from pressing spiky cloves into one of them.

It had been so long ago, at grandma's house. What was she doing here? What possessed her to stop off in Brooklyn, on 13th Avenue, on Erev Sukkos no less, the busiest days of the year?

Maybe it was nostalgia.

Yes, that must be it, she thought. Why else would she return to the place her great-grandmother had lived, the place she hadn't visited in years? Perhaps because it reminded her of the crowded streets in Meah Shearim, where her interest in Judaism had been sparked last year.

Glittery tinsel winked and danced from a makeshift clothesline strung between a table and a nearby store's awning.

Two teenage bochurim debated the merits of one sukkah decoration, their thumbs pumping through the air, as though discussing a sugya. She smiled, thinking of the Jerusalemite teenagers she'd seen. They seemed so similar.

People walked around her briskly. Women pushed strollers with tired children.

Maybe it was nostalgia.

Yes, that must be it, she thought. Why else would she return to the place her greatgrandmother had lived, the place she hadn't visited in years?

Men walked purposefully towards the shtibel on the corner. The sun was setting.

It must be time for mincha, she thought. A gaggle of teenage girls passed to her right, chatting aimlessly.

She stopped again. This time a table of blinking lights caught her eye.

She remembered shopping with her greatgrandmother on the avenue. How exciting it was to be on the streets on erev Sukkos, the colors, the lights, the people. Her Grandma buying a giant lollipop for her and her sister to keep their mouths busy with sticky sweetness, instead of whining. She recalled the rides, a quarter inserted into a slot provided two full minutes of music and movement. She felt her sister's hand in hers, clutching tightly so as not to get lost in the teeming mass of humanity that swarmed the streets.

Her streets. Her people.

It was good to be back, she silently acknowledged, reveling in the warm embrace of the familiar.

She could find a place for herself here. Between the stalls. â– Oct. 10, 2019 |

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Greeting Our Guest With a Leisheiv B'sukkah

So,

after all the shopping, cooking, sukkah building, Yom Tov is here. All that's left is to sit back and enjoy some cookies in your little abode. While for many, packaged snacks are the name of the game, baking a batch of homemade cookies makes snacking extra special. Whether it's in the morning with a coffee or a cup of cold milk or just plain, these pretty varieties will bring a smile to all faces.

Checkerboard

You'll need: • Your favorite cookie dough split in half. Keep one part vanilla and use equal parts cocoa and sugar to make the other part chocolate flavored. For best consistency, refrigerate the dough for an hour before working with it.

• Cookie sheet • Parchment paper Option 1) Checkerboard - Divide each flavor cookie dough into 9 pieces. Then, roll out each piece of dough into a long strip. On a lightly floured surface, arrange a layer of a dark, light, and dark dough strip. Top it with another layer of light, dark, light, so there is now a contrast to the bottom layer. Finish it off with one more layer of dark light dark.

Repeat with the remaining strips to

| Oct. 10, 2019

form a second log. Smooth the logs gently on all sides to straighten, and then cut ½ inch slices with a sharp knife. If the dough has become too soft, you can refrigerate the logs a bit before slicing. Arrange the slices on a parchment lined cookie sheet and bake as usual.

(You can make a simpler version too by just doing 4 strips - one light and dark on the bottom, and a contrast of dark and light on top.)

Twists

Option 2) Twists - In this simple and sweet option, simply roll long strips of dark and light pieces of dough.

Twist two strips together gently and cut them into 3 inch pieces.

Arrange on a parchment lined cookie sheet and bake as usual.

Option 3) Spirals - This one has the additional step of rolling, but the results are quite pretty. Place the dark and light pieces of dough on a sheet of parchment paper, and roll each one separately to Âź inch thickness. Then, flip the dark dough onto the light dough, aligning it as much as possible. Carefully, peel the parchment paper off the dark dough. Lift one long edge of light dough, and start rolling it up, with the dark dough rolling along. Once you have a nice log, use a sharp knife to make slices. Arrange the spiral slices on a parchment lined cookie sheet and bake as usual. â–

Spirals

Oct. 10, 2019 |

A wink from

ABOVE As told to H. Vogel

| Oct. 10, 2019

It

was one of those hectic preyom tov mornings. I craved the feeling of being done.

Ahead. With the cooking, the baking and the shopping.

But I was determined. It was 8:35a.m.

The kids had all left. The baby was (miraculously) still sleeping. I took out all the ingredients I needed to make a dough for fluffy, sweet challos for Yom tov.

Excited to bake, I felt giddy with the feeling of accomplishing-especially since this was my last full day off before Yom tov. After I turned on my trusty Bosch, I noticed the dough was too wet. And although I added flour several times, I realized with a sinking feeling that I would need to get more flour. My local grocer was right across the street. With the Bosch machine still running, snood on, I impulsively ran out of my apartment to get the coveted flour. The whole thing couldn't have taken more than five minutes. I rushed to get the flour, swiped it at the register and flew back home. I had a sleeping baby there, don't forget.

As I hurried home with the prized package of flour, I noticed an unfamiliar Mexican guy exiting the building.

"Are you looking for someone?" I asked him.

"Yes," he answered, fumbling in his pocket for a crumpled piece of paper with an illegible name on it.

"Not here. Please leave." I said, my voice louder than I intended it to be.

Strange.

I ran upstairs to my apartment, quickly adding the flour to the machine, a slight discomfort creeping up my spine. As the

dough started to fall away from the sides, I felt gratified to know my challos would be perfect. But hey! What was bothering me?

My rings! My diamond ring!

I was sure it was perched on the ledge over my sink, but now it was gone!

It was then that the image of the Mexican fellow fleeing my building gained significance.

He stole them!

With weak knees, I called Shomrim, with very little hope of recovering those rings. It was a loss. It hurt. Even though I am not a materialistic person, I felt sentimental and sad about losing themespecially under my nose, like that.

I remembered my aunt Shana, who also recently lost her rings and felt so bad about it, but somehow accepted it, believed it was meant to be and moved on with her life.

I tried consoling myself. It's only a ring!

With some of my original energy sapped from this upsetting incident, I halfheartedly continued my preparations.

I kept berating myself for not locking my door. What was I thinking?? The baby was sleeping, for goodness sake. Shuddering to think what could have happened, I whispered a prayer of thanks to Hashem for sparing her from this wild Mexican.

Two hours later, I breathed in the delicious challos-aroma. I had six containers of compote lined up on the counter, ready to freeze. Chicken soup, an apple crumble plus three mouthwatering kugels should have given me an ego boost.

But, nah. My mood was somber, serious and contemplative. I repeated the incident in my mind many times.

Oct. 10, 2019 |

My thoughts were interrupted by the ringing phone.

"Chasya, how are you?" I asked. Of course, I told her about my ring. She commiserated with me and then helped me reframe.

"It was Hashem's plan for you to lose something material and that caused you pain, it could be it was a kapparah for something worse. Baruch Hashem you are well and so is your family."

"Thanks for your sympathy, Chasya, much appreciated." I joked. But putting my aggravation aside, I knew she was right. I hung up the phone, feeling a drop better.

Somehow supper was bubbling on the stove and my house tidied. I quickly went outside to wait for the school buses. One by one, they came home exuberant with all their Yom tov knowledge, proudly displaying their handiwork. Esty proudly showed me her shofar and Mendy, my five-year-old handed me his "voogshool".

We all went inside. I comforted Esty | Oct. 10, 2019

after my two-year old tore part of her shofar, finishing off the stir-fry on the stovetop. Soon enough, my eight-yearold Shloimy barged in, white as a sheet.

"Shloimy, what happened to you??"

I asked.

He sat down on the couch and started to sob. I put my arm around him.

Why was he so shaken up?

Between sobs and hiccups, he managed to get the words out. He got off the bus and suddenly a fifteen passenger van careened straight towards him.

He yelled in desperation as the driver whizzed past him, missing him by an inch!

I hugged him close, tears falling from my eyes.

Thank you, Hashem!

Of course, I proceeded to tell Shloimy the entire story of my rings.

"Hashem, in His infinite kindness spared your life. Baruch Hashem!!"

Chasya's words of comfort rang true.

Indeed, she was right. â–

‫מיר וואונטשען אייך אלע‬

BORO PARK 5103 New Utrecht Ave. Brooklyn, NY | 718.972.4920 MONSEY 20 Robert Pitt Drive, Monsey, NY | 845.352.4920

Oct. 10, 2019 |

V

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READY DICED, AND SAUTÉED ONIONS.

OUR TEA EY R

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Herzog Wine Cellars’ eight generations of winemaking has instilled a deep appreciation for our growing regions and the characteristics they bring to our wine.

For Herzog Special Reserves, we harness the influences of California microclimates, from soil to sunlight, to produce awardwinning varieties, like the new 2014 Lake County Cabernet Sauvignon.

This Cabernet Sauvignon was grown at an elevation of more than 1,500 feet.

The soil, a rich, volcanic red, is welldrained, allowing for precise irrigation at the most important stages of ripening.

Its taste is a testament to the region and the craftsmanship of the winemaker.

SPECIAL RESERVE

‫שיש בו כדי‬ ‫לנענע בו‪ ,‬כשר‬ ‫(סוכה כט‪):‬‬

‫א 'מיללער שטריימל' ווערט פאבריצירט פאכמאניש‪ ,‬האנט‪-‬‬ ‫ערצייגט‪ ,‬מרישא ועד גמירא‪ ,‬דורך די באגאבטע מומחים מיט יארן‬ ‫ערפארונג‪ ,‬אהערצושטעלן פאר יעדן קאסטומער זיין ספעציעלן‬ ‫קאסטום שטריימל‪ ,‬מיט די ריכטיגע פיט‪ ,‬פראכטפולע געבוי‪ ,‬און‬ ‫צוגעפאסטע הייעך‪ .‬פולע און לאנגע שפיצן‪ ,‬וואס שטעלט אהער‬ ‫דעם אויגפארכאפענדן שטריימל וואס "לעבט און שאקעלט זיך"‪ ,‬צו‬ ‫דער פולסטער צופרידנהייט פון די גליקליכע קליענטן‪ ,‬צו מקיים זיין‬ ‫דעם 'התנאה לפניו במצוות' מיט א מאיעסטעטישן ״עטרה לראש״‪.‬‬

‫וויליאמסבורג‬

‫‪72 Morton St.‬‬ ‫‪718.384.0418‬‬

‫בארא פארק‬

‫‪4920 16th Ave‬‬ ‫‪718.854.9600‬‬

‫מאנסי‬

‫‪20 Robert Pitt Dr.‬‬ ‫‪845.371.9600‬‬

‫לאנדאן‬

‫‪18f Manor Rd.‬‬ ‫‪0744.644.2292‬‬

‫ירושלים‬

‫אדוני׳ הכהן ‪23‬‬

‫‪05276-01865‬‬

‫בני ברק‬

‫יונה הנביא ‪21‬‬

‫‪05485-38838‬‬