LINK PLUS Vol 14

A Weekly Link Supplement

Vol. 1 Issue 14 / Dec. 18, 2019

upgr Chan aded trad ukah ition s

Gifts

Appreciating our

Obligation? or Appreciation!

The Eternal Spark Dec. 18, 2019

Finding the Gift in Gifted

|1

table of contents

Publisher The Weekly Link Phone 347.787.1838

Sob, Sob!

Fax Teach your 347.787.4018 children to laugh at their terrible Email predicaments

4 plus@weeklylink.com

Back WebsiteIn School www.weeklylink.com Common sense Mailing tips and Address tricks 8 1303 53rd St. Suite #125 Looking Brooklyn NY 11219 for a job?

Professional resume writer shares some Š 2019. All Rights Reserved. guidelines

Link Plus is published by 12

The Weekly Link.

Link Plus assumes no responsibility for the content of articles or advertisements in whole or part in any form Easy to permission greet withoutsupper prior written from the publisher is prohibited. your kids with

Off the bus basics

19

Obligation? or Appreciation!

4

Prepackaged Poems

12

PRESENCE

14

Making Memories

16

The Eternal Spark

18

6 simple solutions

22

Mystery Solved

24

TRAINING GROUND

26

Marketing the Deed

30

The Donut Bar

33

RECIPES

40

Finding the Gift in Gifted

44

Editor's Note:

bedtime We have been getting incredible feedback on our newly battle tips 24 launched Link Plus magazine. Some of our readers have expressed dissatisfaction that the insert slipped out of their copy

New drama serial: of The Weekly Link. As of next week, December 25, 2019, the

TRAINING Link Plus will be incorporated in the back of The Weekly Link.

GROUND 26 Creative Creations 31 2|

Happy Reading,

T he Editorial Board

Dec. 18, 2019

|3

Obligation?

Appreciation!

Tips and Tidbits On Expressing Appreciation to Our Teachers B. Schwartz 4|

When Suri H., a longtime pre-school teacher, received a very generous tip on Chanukah from one of her student's parents (besides for the standard $10 Chanukah gelt), she phoned them to express her appreciation. The mother explained to her, “The word ‘Chanukah’ stems from the same root word as ‘chinuch’. Chanukah, the Yom Tov of light and purity, is the perfect time for us to express our gratitude towards the individuals that we have entrusted with igniting our children’s hearts and souls. Enjoy the tip, you deserve it!”

Listen in to the varied perspectives of melamdim, teachers and parents, as they discuss the topic of ‘Chanuka Gelt’ for teachers from various angles.

Say it With Words Leah, the wife of a veteran mechanech shares, “The thank-you notes mean a lot to my husband.

My husband sometimes gathers all the notes together and takes them over to his parents, to read, so that they too can shep nachas from him!

But remember, although notes are appreciated, they do not pay bills.”

Rabbi S., a beloved maggid shiur of young bachurim, says, “I save every thank you card and note that I get from my talmidim. There are times when I feel I need chizuk to continue, as the world of chinuch today can be so very challenging, I then pull those cards out and read them. The appreciation expressed in them infuses me with renewed energy.”

It doesn’t always have to be a gift, says Suri H. She claims that it’s the acknowledgment of the teacher’s efforts that means more than anything. “Teaching is often a thankless job, with a lot more

Dec. 18, 2019

attention drawn to what goes wrong than to what goes right. I remember getting a phone call, many years ago, on Erev Pesach from a mother, thanking me for all that her daughter learned and for the beautiful arts and crafts that she brought home.”

Sarah Leah claims that a sincere compliment gives the teacher much chizuk. “Even better,” she advises “compliment the teacher to the principal and/or to the school board. When they realize that they have a valuable teacher on staff, they might raise her more easily and seek ways to accommodate her, due to your positive feedback.”

“While cash is always nice to receive, it is the thank you notes that mean so much,” says Rabbi K., a fifth-grade rebbi. What kind of notes are most appreciated?

“No fancy, rambling poems copied over from the neighbor’s friend that writes poetry. The most appreciated notes are those that are specific and personal.”

|5

“It does not have to be an elaborate poem,” comments Suri, “It was the last day of school, when little Ruchy came over and pulled a creased card out of her briefcase.

I opened the card and read the hastily-scribbled lines, ‘Thanks for all that you’ve done for Ruchy. May Hashem bentch your children with teachers as good and as loving as Ruchy’s’. Those few lines, probably written while waiting for the school bus, warmed my heart so, that I still remember it, many years later.”

Going the Extra Mile Since ‘appreciation’ seems to be the buzz word over here, I wonder, what are ways for parents to express their appreciation?

Morah Esther taught a little boy whose mother sent in a treat for the teachers every Rosh Chodesh.

“Sometimes, little Chaim ‘shared’ the treat with us, by eating up most of it on the bus and then leaving over some of it for his Morahs,” she recalls with a smile.

Sarah Leah remembers getting a small little flower bouquet in a uniquely-shaped vase, delivered to her door, along with a warm thankyou note on Erev Shavuos.

When Suri H. gave birth to a baby girl and was recuperating at her mother’s home, she was shocked to open the door one day and find Leah’la Stern’s mommy standing there with a beautiful homemade cheesecake in her hands. “I finally tracked you down!” said Mrs. Stern. “and now, Mazel Tov to you and thanks for all the effort you’ve been putting into our Leah’la!”

Suri shares some more. “Mrs.

6|

Frankel was the kind of Mommy, whose child you’d want to teach every year. She was so complimentary and thankful. One year, on Erev Purim I found a bag hanging on my door with a beautiful personalized leather Megillah inside, courtesy of the Frankels.

Another time, Mrs. Frankel’s daughter had a difficult day in school and required more care than usual. The next morning, a grateful Mrs. Frankel delivered a freshly frosted hot chocolate cake to school to thank us for what we did for her daughter the day before.”

“Erev Pesach is particularly tough on us teachers,” says Morah Esther, a teacher of little boys, “as we work until almost the last minute before Yom Tov, and we make Pesach at home. One year a mother sent in a beautiful, personalized Haggada for all the teachers. She attached a note, ‘Thanks for having our boys each day, during this hectic time’”.

Mrs. S., an experienced highschool teacher remembers two occasions that mothers expressed their appreciation in a distinctly memorable fashion. “This happened many years ago,” she says, “and I still remember it! One mother, whose special-needs daughter required lots of extra help, sent in a fresh salad bar to the teachers’ room for lunch for all the teachers to enjoy. In a different school where I teach, a mother baked the most delicious pastries and had it delivered to the teachers’ room as a way of expressing her gratitude. I feel that in high school, where there are so many teachers, and the way parents express their appreciation is usually done on a collective level

A Freilichen Chanukah! (think joint mishloach manos), it means that much more when parents take the time to express their thanks in a personal way.”

Suri recalls the mother that was so wowed by her daughter’s Pre1-A graduation and all the preparation and behind-the-scenes work that it entailed, that she came back the next day with three ice cream razzles in hand, for the teacher and the two assistants, to express her thanks.

Doing it Right Suri then asks if she can talk about something close to her heart. Sure, I say.

“I just want to raise awareness about something that often bothered me. As a pre-school teacher, I noticed that parents would tip only the main teacher

Dec. 18, 2019

and skip over, or hardly show any appreciation to the assistants in the classroom. Assistants are major players in a pre-school classroom and they work very hard. Think of opening and closing twenty-eight coats (and boots), cutting and assembling twenty-eight arts and crafts, serving twenty-eight lunch portions and cleaning and tucking in twenty-eight children. They also have more opportunity to bond with the children, as they don’t carry the burden of running the classroom. Their efforts deserve to be noticed and appreciated. I hope parents realize that and treat them accordingly.”

Morah Esther offers, “Often parents will present me with a cookbook or book. It’s helpful for me to know where the gift was purchased so that I can exchange it if it’s not something I’d find useful.

|7

I also enjoy gift certificates and/ or even better, gift cards. The cash in my pocket tends to get used for groceries, cleaning help and car services.”

Rabbi S. says, “Sometimes a student of mine will send a dessert, such as an ice-cream log, for mishloach manos. We put it away for Shabbos dessert; it is very much enjoyed by my family. Wines, chocolates and even closed packages of cookies are also appreciated. (On the other hand, my wife does not appreciate receiving thirty bundt cakes on Purim - thirty days before Pesach...)”

Leah G. recalls that one of her husband’s student’s parents worked in a Judaica publishing company.

“Over the year we got about ten of the newest book releases. We received children’s books, English sefarim, biographies and more. The entire family appreciated those books.

“Another thoughtful treat that we received was a tray of rainbow cake, from another talmid’s mother, l’kavod Parshas Noach,” Leah remembers fondly.

Expensive or Expansive?

Now we your turn to the parents.

How do you feel about the added (sometimes major) expense of tipping the Rebbes and teachers, (and this is after tuition!)?

Rina G., an experienced fourth grade teacher, and a mother of five says, that all her Chanukah gelt goes to her children’s melamdim and teachers’ Chanukah gelt. “I’m left with nothing for myself. But that’s OK because expressing thanks to

8|

my children’s teachers is a major priority for me.”

Frumy F. claims that she tries to get away with the smallest amount possible, as it is too great of an expense.

Malky G. disagrees. “My husband feels that the tips for melamdim and teachers are included in the money that is designated for our children’s Talmud Torah, on Rosh Hashana.

Although we are a Kollel couple, we tip our children's melamdim and teachers generously.”

Suri H. adds, “I gave up teaching a few years ago, but showing appreciation to our teachers still holds a very dear place in my heart.

My husband often jokes that he still pays for the fact that I was once a teacher! We try to tip as generously as we can on Chanukah and on Purim, but I especially like to tip at the end of the year, as a token of thanks, with no strings attached.”

Mrs. S. claims that since she and her husband are both in chinuch and not at all in a high-income bracket, she does not feel obligated to give a lot of money. “Yet I do feel obligated to express my appreciation with a thought-out, personal card for each teacher.”

Mrs. M., a mommy of a large family ka"h emphasizes, “Showing appreciation to our melamdim and teachers is very important. If you can afford the expense, I feel that it is the best investment!”

Sarah Leah states that she is overwhelmingly grateful towards her children’s teachers. “It’s our job to be mechanech our children. Would my husband and I be able to give each child such an individualized,

Teacher’s Tips on Tips ”Please no more pretty plates and dishes, we have so many! We don’t have where to store them anymore!”

(Morah Esther, Rabbi K.’s wife) ”Pretty dishes for the Shabbos table are so appreciated. My Shabbos table is graced and enhanced by all those serving and dip dishes from my husband’s talmidim.” (Leah G.) ”Please include the correct information where we can exchange the gift you gave us. I once went to exchange a particular gift item at a store where I was told it was purchased, when the bewildered shopkeeper claimed that he didn’t carry the item and never did. (In the end we realized that the item was regifted a few times already…).” (Mrs. L., wife of Rabbi L.) ”Toys for our children are the most appreciated gift you can get for a Mommy, and no they do not have to be expensive.” (Mrs. S., Morah Esther) ”Remember to sign your checks!” Rabbi K. shares, “I once got a check from one of my students and used the check to pay my rent. As I handed it over to my landlord, we noticed that the check had no signature. Since I wasn’t sure if it was deliberately left out, or if it was just an oversight, I could not contact the parents about it. My landlord looked at the name on the check and recognized it as belonging to one of his clients.

He told me that he’d take care of it. He called them and very nonchalantly told them that he received a check from Dec. 18, 2019

their account, without a signature.

They were very sorry and claimed that it was unintentional. The check was signed and an uncomfortable situation was thankfully averted.” ”If you regift something, check it over a few times to make sure that any notes attached by previous gift-givers do not remain inside, like the honey dish I received, with a thank you letter from Bikur Cholim inside.”

(Suri H.) “No live chickens please! One year, on Purim, I received- I kid you not- a live chicken! The father was dressed up as a shochet, the children were dressed up as all kinds of fowl and the mishloach manos was- you guessed ita live chicken! Thankfully, the parents took it back with them, though I must say it made for the most memorable mishloach manos I ever got.”

(Suri H.)

Homemade vs. StoreBought goodies debate; A nice home-baked treat from a family that I know well is more personal, and dignified than something purchased in the local grocery/bakery. (Rabbi K.) “Please do not send home-baked goodies.” Shares Rabbi G., “I often get these beautiful, tempting cakes and cookies, yet I don’t feel comfortable eating them, since I’m not sure about the family’s Kashrus standards. It hurts me to have to throw those baked goods away.” (Rabbi G.) |9

stimulating curriculum each year? I highly doubt it! For that I am so grateful to our melamdim and teachers and I try to express my thanks accordingly.”

Suri H. also points out that once her children are old enough to write their own cards, she has them think about what it is that they want to thank their teachers and then helps them write it. “The teachers receive a uniquely personal note from their student’s perspective, and my child learns to step outside of his own little world, and to think about all the efforts the teacher expended. It makes for more grateful, happy children.”

Building Bridges At times, the student-teacher relationship is not particularly rosy. How hould parents express appreciation towards those teachers with whom they are experiencing difficulty?

“I think that expressing appreciation towards the teacher can actually change the relationship!” claims Suri. “Highlighting the teacher’s strengths and establishing a solid connection, can accomplish a lot more than complaining and criticizing. Of course, if there are serious problems with the way the child is being treated, they cannot be ignored, those issues need to be dealt with. But overall, you can capture a lot more bees with honey than with vinegar.”

Chany, a parent, wisely notes “Everything grows with attention. We can focus on our children’s teachers’ flaws and help them ‘grow’. Or, as parents, we have the power to notice and point out our children’s teachers’ strengths. We can actually influence those teachers to become better by openly communicating our specific thanks to them!”

Our children are our treasures, our future. And those that guide and inspire them, their rebbeim and their teachers, all seem to express similar sentiments.

“We are not teaching Yiddishe children for monetary rewards. We want to educate your children, stimulate them and help them reach their potential. We want to ignite the minds and hearts of every child, and that gives us tremendous satisfaction. However,” they all concur, “in this demanding, often taxing field of chinuch, a little appreciation goes a long, long way.”

10 |

Dec. 18, 2019

| 11

Prepackaged Poems The check is ready – the envelope too, But what should you write, other than “Thank You”?

Link Plus has resolved to alleviate those pains, No longer a need to rack your brains.

Feel free to fiddle around with the style and tone, Replace any words, ‘til you make it your own!

Here goes…

- our gift to you R. Kessler 12 |

bus go, the wheels on the ‘Round and ‘round and fro, shuttles my son to As the school bus t, we will hereby too Mr. Klein, your horn ily route! da ur yo nk you for As we graciously tha

Bus Driver:

Baby sitter:

You are a most wonderful babysitte r whom everyone admires, Armed with bottles, toys and paci fiers.

I feel so fortunate that I can leave my tot in your loving hands, ‘Cuz you are truly someone who care s and understands.

Teacher:

s job is never done, Though we know a teacher’ ’ hearts you have won, Still I marvel how the students you teach and impart, With warmth and patience, your heart! values that come directly from Thank You for the lessons and

doctor:

Rebbe:

at I mean, patient will know wh Anyone who is your vaccine, isit, a culture, or a Whether it’s a well-v surpassed, d expertise are un Your dedication an ngs that last! minated with blessi May your life be illu

‫פון טיפן הארצן הכרת הטוב‬ ‫פארן‬ ‫חינוך און געטריישאפט – מיט כוחות לרוב‬ ‫איר טוט בא‬ ‫לייכטן די פינקן פון די לעכטעלעך די קליינע‬ ‫מיט התלהבות פאר די נשמות די ריינע‬

Therapist:

Our gratitude to you knows no bounds, As Moishy’s therapist you deserve applause… rounds and rounds, Your patience and devotion leave us all in awe, Mrs. Katz you are a professional we all adore!

Dec. 18, 2019

| 13

PRESENCE Yehudis Schonfeld

Dearest Totty and Mommy, The mail landed through the slot with a soft ‘thump’ and I ran to see what was just delivered. I was so excited to see three different glossy toy magazines with all sorts of Chanuka gift ideas. I scooped the magazines up from the floor, sat down at the kitchen table and began to pore over the booklets.

My siblings joined me and our eyes got this faraway look in them, as we began to dream big. Shloimy decided that he wanted the police and fire station Playmobil sets (the BIG ones). Eli wanted another 150 piece set of MagnaTiles and Chayala was hoping to get the Mitzvah Kinder dollhouse with ALL the accessories.

14 |

Baby Yanky, I think, would want the clip-on mobile that comes with lights and music, and I so strongly wished for the shiny black Yamaha with the accompanying stand.

At night as I was drifting off, I envisioned different toys swirling over my head in puffs of colorful, magical clouds. I thought about the gifts I hoped to get for Chanukah.

But then, in the quiet of the dark night, when I can hear my heart speak the truth, I realized that what I really wanted is a different kind of gift. I realized that if I’m perfectly honest with myself, the gift I want is YOU - Totty and Mommy. Let me explain.

I know you love me. I see it in the way Totty works so hard to provide us with everything we need, and how Mommy takes care of our home and our family with great devotion.

I see it in the clean laundry, cooked meals, and how Mommy always shops for us and makes sure we have nice, well-fitting clothes. But quite frankly, I’d rather Totty work less and have more time to ask me how my day was. I’d rather Mommy shop less and spend more time with me.

I recall the time I stayed up late in bed, waiting for you, Totty, to arrive, so that I can tell you about the compliment my Rebbi had given me for my great kashya on the Gemara.

When you finally came home, you were busy on an important phone call and did not put down until I was fast asleep. The next day you were out on a business trip, the day after that, you were at an important meeting. I still never got to tell you about that compliment.

I remember the expensive pen Mommy had bought me for my birthday, when all I really wanted from Mommy (and did not know how to ask) was a nice, long conversation, just Mommy and me and no one else.

The gift I want most, Totty and Mommy, is for you to spend time with me.

I want your undivided attention.

I want you to talk to me and to ask questions out of genuine interest.

And when I answer, I want you to listen. Really listen. Because, although I love when you talk to me, I love it even more, when I can talk to you. Yes, the toys you buy me, Totty and Mommy, excite

Dec. 18, 2019

me momentarily but the way you appreciate my uniqueness and perceive me as a lovable individual that is what I truly treasure.

I recently learned in school, how plants grow. A seed can’t grow by itself, it needs water and sunshine to help it develop. I feel like I am that little seedling, and you Totty and Mommy are the rain and sunshine that make it sprout and thrive. I am all raw potential - glistening, powerful potential - yet I need you to shine your warmth upon me, to water me with your love and patience, so that my goodness can begin to emerge. I may look like an insignificant, small kernel but it is your ability as my parents, to see deeper than that, to see my hidden strengths and greatness.

Totty and Mommy, the time we spend together with true focused attention, ignites my inner light, until it will eventually illuminate the world with its unique radiance.

You give me the foundation upon which I will build my entire life.

And that, Totty and Mommy, is the very best gift you can ever give me.

No Yamaha, no Playmobil, no drum sets or expensive games can ever do that for me. The gift of YOU is the gift that keeps on giving. It is the gift that I will never grow bored of, a gift that costs no money.

Like someone wisely said, “The best presents parents can give their children is their presence.”

Thank You for everything, Totty and Mommy and A Freilichen Chanukah!

Your Beloved Child

| 15

g n i k a s M e i r o m e M Planning your Chanukah gatherings's entertainment?

There’s nothing like having all the cousins join for that once a year bout of laughter. Read this sampling of what games and programs have worked for other families in the past.

Chana Friedman

“My husband’s fa mily is the intellectual word -game type, and we always pl ay a variation of Bananagrams or some other word game. Last year , my aunt typed up a list of 'whatwould-you-do-if ' questions, and each player had to pick four letters out of the pile in the center to answer with. The answer had to be four wo rds, with each on e starting with a di fferent one of th e letters you pick ed. It was a blas t.

Definitely somet hing I would carry over to my side of the family.”

- L. Moskowitz

16 |

mething wanted to do so “One year, we who was grandmother, special for my hildren dc rty. The gran hosting the pa a helium d an rd bring a ca were all told to d I brought they came, an balloon when r. At the y grandmothe one extra for m r with pe t slips of pa party, I gave ou ne to yo er ev ld , and to names on them essage on lated to the m write a card re for the they had one) their balloon (if ived. ce re name they person whose by” ob “B id per sa Every slip of pa After . r’s he ot dm y gran was besides for m ce en done, the audi rd the writing was ca r ei th and hand was told to stand up y, Bo r. fo nt it was mea ery ev over to whom n r surprised whe eir th my grandmothe ed nd in the room ha t.” hi g single person bi a as w on to her! It card and ballo tz ar -R. P. Schw

e played t we onc d a a th e m ga nde popular yer is ha “This is a very pla E in candy . ir h p a k s a u y. (An d on Chan n a c , and f o ke turns mount ll.) We ta e certain a bout w a t b n jo the tateme s r’. a e k roll does a m or ‘neve e has to ‘always’ rd d e o e w everyon n e u g th nt, yo lves usin stateme on whose is th themse d er violate ndy to the pers If you ev ca o stays over one er is the one wh d n a h to n xample; . The win t the end. For e turn it is a y to sleep nd most ca never go sink.” with the r announces, “I es in the e one play shing all the dish d with a sink e wa ent to b one without o ever w h w dy to the e r n e a y c a s e iv a Any pla g s, eg m ty dishe It’s a nic full of dir the statement. volved.” de ryone in e v who ma e ts e it g S. because -Sara F.

inded family m eived a id d e ar, w y rec “Last ye individual famil orating h ec c d a E d . o e a them h of fo c n u b up with a e h a pan wit idea was to com esignated d he fter the items. T isplay. A parents judged d h a k u Chan .” grand best job s up, my time wa o had done the h to see w G. Ehrenfeld -

me with d this ga e y la ily p e “I’v the fam ides’ of nt e w s all my ‘s y it alwa d n a , y k d alrea a wee ll. About ther, over we ge to ur getbefore o y member is il each fam roblem bmit a p ith. u s to d aske ling w y’re dea alls and that the ec n o ake ph e, Then I m attende h c a e to r e v m ble , give o else’s pro e it e n o e m so hos saying w without d to come up nee ring it is. They on and b ring ti lu o s a with er. Du t-togeth to the ge , we go around e showtim d everybody an le b on. The the ta eir soluti gure th ts n e pres try to fi . embers other m m it was b se pro le lly funny out who a re ad some We’ve h and some great mix–ups tions.” solu inger -E. Gold

“We It’s alw do Pictionar y. E ay with yo s a ball of fun very time. . If unger c hildren you’re playin you loo , g I would k t hrou you sta s rt the g gh the cards uggest before familia ame. S rw in the yea ith all the ca ce my family ’s rds rs family we created s already, ove related ome o r fo o out we ll, no m nes. The gam ur own atter e wo are at t how many p rks eople he pa -R. Lub rty.” art

Dec. 18, 2019

| 17

Spark T h e Et e r n a l

Esther Schiff

Water.

Just one glass of clear, cold water.

That’s not asking for too much, is it?

I rub my eyes and call out, with just the right wobble in my voice, “Juan!

I’m thirsty!”

The brocade curtains around my bed sway gently, almost mockingly, as I wait. And wait. And then wait some more…until my fuzzy mind picks out a wispy memory.

Oh bother. Papa told Juan that he can go home for the week to tend to his ailing father.

“You can go, Juan. I’m sure little Alvarez will manage,” Papa had

18 |

told him earlier that day, winking at me as I tried to hide my smile. “He might just learn a thing or two in your absence.”

Little Alvarez, indeed!

I swing my feet over the edge of the bed, groping for the slippers that Juan always lines up at the far right corner. They’re not there, of course.

And my warm morning robe with the fur trim isn’t dangling from the valet near the window.

The glimmer of this longed-for independence is beginning to tarnish at the edges as the cold stone floor shocks me into full wakefulness.

When did Juan say he’s coming back

to Madrid? There’s a limit to how many midnight drinks a seven-yearold boy can get on his own!

I stumble down the marble staircase, feeling the cold seeping into every vein and artery. You know what arteries are, right? Tutor Fernando taught me today all about arteries and veins and blood rushing, rushing through them. I think my arteries are all shivering from the extreme cold. It’s not healthy.

Little boys belong in bed and their domestic help is supposed to bring them drinks of water. Especially at midnight.

The tapers on the wall cast black shadows on the stairs. The shadows have hands. Long, dangling hands that love to grab little boys and – Whooosh!

Even the withering, quivering shadows are frightened by the sudden noise. I stand still, one foot dangling in the air above the bottom step.

What is that?!

Whoosh!

There it is again! I know that sound. It’s the trapdoor in the cellar swinging on its well-oiled hinges.

Whenever Cook Conrita goes down for a jar of preserves, I hear that noise. It has a good smell, that whooshing noise. It smells of freshly baked pastries filled with gooey, red preserves…

But now the whoosh smells different. I’m not afraid, of course.

I’m just… um… cautious and responsible. I think I should go right back to bed.

I’m not that thirsty anymore.

“I’m coming down, Papa,” I

Dec. 18, 2019

suddenly hear Pedro whispering. He whispers real loud, this brother of mine. It usually irks me, but tonight I’m thankful.

I might be just seven years old but I already lost my first tooth. Mama said it’s a good thing. It means I’m getting big. Who needs little baby teeth anyway? I run my tongue over the new and unfamiliar gap, drawing courage from that very compelling sign of manhood.

Pedro is down in the cellar. Papa is there too. I wonder if Mama and Inez also joined the midnight party.

Is it just me, little Alvarez, who’s once again left out? Not if I have any say in the matter!

I run down the steps to the cellar.

I think my arteries are being very cooperative tonight. I feel them pumping, pumping all that good, energetic blood straight to – uh, where does blood go anyway? I’m not sure. Maybe I’ll ask the tutor tomorrow.

The trapdoor is slightly ajar. For a moment, I just stand there and peek into the black, black emptiness yawning below me. Why would everyone crawl down in middle of the night? I mean, preserves are good – I snitch some whenever the cook turns her back. But still. I can’t imagine Papa and Mama snitching preserves while the moon laughingly travels across the Spanish sky!

I giggle at the thought.

It’s good, this giggling. It makes me forget all the crawling little things that might be hiding in the corners of our cellar. I venture further into the darkness until I see the ray of light coming from…from somewhere.

It’s coming from a brick wall.

| 19

I’m not laughing anymore. I don’t like candles that shine through brick walls. Pedro’s soft singing melts into the candlelight, and then I hear Papa’s deep voice saying something.

I think his voice is wobbly, but that’s impossible. Papa is strong. He’s the mighty Senor de Pontesc and even the king is scared of him. I think.

Fine, maybe not King Ferdinand, but everyone else sure respects him.

I am standing near the brick wall.

It’s a wall. I mean, no one can walk through a wall, right?

Inez says something and the candlelight flickers. Now it’s shining bright again. I put my fingers into the crack – a tiny crack that lets nothing through aside from sound and light. My fingernails scrape against the rough stone. I pull…and the wall moves. I pull again and the wall shifts to the side.

I think I must be dreaming. Maybe that’s it. I’m still asleep. This is a dream. It has to be. Otherwise, there’s something very, very wrong and I don’t even want to look anymore.

But I do. Because I’m seven years old and I am not scared. Not at all.

I’m shivering ‘cause it’s cold down here. And the loud thump thump thump that’s coming from my heart?

Those are the naughty arteries making noise. Silly things.

Papa is bending over a small metal candelabra. Except it’s not a real candelabra because the candles are all lined up, in a neat little row.

Strange, isn’t it? He’s holding a taper in his hand. That’s the light that I saw peeking through the crack in the wall.

Papa says something and now his

20 |

voice is for real wobbly. I don’t understand what he whispers. It sounds like a foreign language. But Papa’s crying. My big strong Papa is crying and it’s making my heart feel all funny.

Papa bends over to the strange candelabra. His face is bathed in candlelight and it makes me think of the sun. Pedro and Inez are bending over closely to see, but Mama can’t see anything. She has her hands over her face and I think I hear her crying.

But that’s impossible. Mothers don’t cry. They only help other people cry when something hurts them.

What does Pedro find so fascinating in a few little flames? You would think he’s seeing something there.

Something that I can’t see.

I crane my neck and stand on the tips of my toes. Let me tell you, that’s not an easy feat when you’re squished against a brick wall in a drafty cellar. I balance quite well for a moment, but then my toes rebel and there I am, sprawled on the floor with Pedro’s laced-up boots staring me in the face.

“Aaahh!”

Pedro screams, clapping his hand over his mouth.

“Inquisitors!”

I smile. It’s good to be part of this family party, even if the menu is limited to dancing flames that are drowned in tears. And even if Pedro thinks I’m a scary Inquisitor.

“Alvarez!” Mama cries, hugging me tight. “You scared us!”

I scrape the shreds of my tattered dignity off the floor and say, “I am part of this family, last time I looked.

And if everyone is lighting candles in the cellar then I should too.”

Papa takes me onto his lap. At seven years old I’m really way beyond that, but I indulge my Papa just this once. He looks a little bit shaky.

“Papa,” I whisper, ignoring Pedro as he bends a little too close. “I was so scared before. I thought you were crying.”

Papa looks down at me and his glistening eyes reflect eight dancing flames. He doesn’t say that my imagination is too big for me. He doesn’t say that I should stop daydreaming. He just smiles, that sad-happy smile that adults sometimes wear, and he says, “My neshama’la.

How could I not cry?”

It’s quiet for a very long time. Pedro and Inez are sitting on the floor and playing with a spinning toy. I laugh.

Pedro glares and mutters, “He doesn’t understand anything, that baby.”

I don’t laugh again. I just bury my face in Papa’s shoulder and think that maybe, just maybe, there’s something I don’t know.

“Neshama’la,” Papa says again. It’s his secret name for me and no one knows about it. Just me and Papa. “Listen well, my neshama’la. Ready for a story?”

What a question! When am I ever not ready for a good, long story?

“It happened a long, long time ago in the land called Eretz Yisroel,” Papa begins.

“Is that a real land, or a made-up place?” I ask.

Papa sighs. I look into his eyes. It looks like thousands and thousands of years are crammed into his dark, tearful gaze and I quickly look away. I feel like I’m intruding on something private.

It’s a long night, full of stories. Wondrous stories. Warm stories. Real stories. Papa carries me up to my bedroom, and he thinks I am fast asleep. But I hear what Papa whispers.

“My neshama’la,” he says. “Your candle will yet burn in freedom. We don’t belong here, in this land of plenty, for we are pure olive oil, floating above the lure of wealth and fame.”

I drift off to sleep on the wings of his promise and I wonder. Are there really Yidden who can light candles near a window, where everyone can see?!

That’s what Pedro says. He thinks he knows everything.

Dec. 18, 2019

| 21

Let the fun begin! Whether you do the traditional, kid-friendly, quaint, contemporary, or adult-only party, there are always some new ideas to keep things interesting. Happy planning!

Chana Friedman

1 22 |

If you don’t have painter’s tape, masking tape is the next best thing to use to hang up signs or streamers.

Even so, remember to remove it within a day or two, or you might have some paint coming right off with the tape.

Use this idea to announce game instructions, or to tell who’s in charge of the party next year: Inflate a balloon and twist the end shut without tying a knot.

Then use a marker to write the information onto the plastic surface. Wait for the ink to dry and deflate the balloon. You’ll have the whole crowd standing and blowing in order to read what you wrote.

3

Got a bunch of boys you need to entertain?

Have them collect wire cleaners’ hangers.

Put out some supplies, such as paint, pliers and optional heavy-duty scissors if they are old enough to handle it. Challenge the kids to create the most interesting Chanukah related sculpture. You’ll be surprised at how absorbed they can get and what they’ll come up with!

Old CD’s look great as drip catchers under candles.

They reflect the light beautifully and are even disposable. To make a statement, follow these simple instructions. Preheat your oven on low heat. Place the CD over a metal mixing bowl until it starts to take on the shape of the bowl. Wearing protective gloves, remove the CD and bend it into your desired shape. Seal the hole by gluing a hard surface to it, such as a plastic coin. Use as a drip catcher or as a decorative bowl for anything but food. If you don’t have any CD’s that you’re ready to dispose of, you can buy some cheap empty ones in a 99 cents store.

(Amazing Savings sells them in a large plastic holder.)

5 Dec. 18, 2019

This is a great kids’ activity that works well with the Chanukah spirit. Hand each child a plain white paper (preferably hard), a white candle, and watercolor paint. Show the kids how to create an invisible drawing using the white candle. After they swap secret messages, they can coat the paper with a wash of watercolor paint to reveal the message.

This works because the wax doesn’t allow the paint to get absorbed where it has been rubbed onto the paper.

If you’re going with a rustic country theme, this is a great way to create a natural candleholder.

Use an apple corer to carve a hole three quarters down apples or pears. Insert a tall candle into each hole and surround the fruit with leaves or branches. Cluster or pair them for an eye – catching centerpiece.

| 23

Mystery Solved

By R. Lowy

Dear woman in the ‫ חנוכה‬coloring book '‫ תחי‬, In the name of Jewish women, this letter I write, as we prepare our ‫ חנוכה‬candles to light.

Asking you a question that’s going on for ages, right out of our children’s coloring book pages!

There you stand, year after year. potato in hand – a smile so sincere.

Kerchief and apron, trim and neat. portraying a picture nostalgic and sweet.

Of a warm and traditional ‫ חנוכה‬night, children around you, smiles so bright.

Amidst the oil, pots and pans.

“Helping” you with willing hands.

Year after year, I stare and ponder, I look at your smile, and I wonder.

What is it about this picture, that makes me think of a mismatched mixture?

24 |

Was it taken many years ago?

It has that pure old fashioned glow!

I look again – it cannot be, A food processor on your counter I see.

Was it taken recently?

How can it be? You must tell me!

Where are the gifts lying in a pile, The menus arranged in color-themed style?

The party schedule on the wall, The centerpieces standing tall.

Surrounded with pistachio studded fish, Laid out in a matching dish.

The children poised, all ready to go, Matching ensembles from head to toe.

Clutching personalized beribboned sweets, Initialed grab bags and ‫ חנוכה‬treats.

Dear lady in the picture – have a heart, answer me, what sets you apart?

Share your secret of how and when, Was your picture taken, now or then?!

Your “Sister”

Dear sister '‫תחי‬, First of all, I never realized.

How many pairs of prying eyes.

Were watching me all these years, it makes me proud, yet brings me to tears.

For all the time and energy, wasted to reach out to me.

When secrets I do not own, I’m just a Mommy in a Jewish home.

I was taught so many years ago, ‫נס חנוכה איז געשעהן דורך א פרוי‬ Every woman a Jewish queen, proud of our timeless heroine!

Lighting the menorah, a mitzvah for the men, We proudly relinquish this zechus to them.

For we are so busy spreading our light, Turning our houses in to homes so bright. ‫ – בימים ההם‬that’s what they did, ‫ בזמן הזה‬we wear the same title – Yid! We rejoice and relax as the miracle replays, it’s warmth and magic for eight joyous days!

So dear sister, share this letter, Hope it makes the world much better.

And as an added remedy, You may pose for this picture instead of me!

“Your Smiling Sister”

Dec. 18, 2019

The author can be contacted at: 914-299-5744

| 25

14

TRAINING GROUND

by Chava Leah Beer

Recap: Shoshana takes Ayala out to eat, bringing the food to her home so that they can have privacy. She starts pushing Ayala’s buttons and tries to keep the conversation going while not hurting Ayala’s feelings.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN She turned back to the freezer to take out her own favorite flavor of ice cream, rephrasing the question with her back to Ayala. “Don’t you feel better than you did right after the accident happened?”

“I do feel better, but only a drop.”

Shoshana sat back down with her own bowl of ice cream in front of her. “You mean not that much better. Why not?”

26 |

“It’s funny, but though I miss my father tremendously, I think I would be fine if not for the nightmares about the accident and the fears that continue to haunt me.”

Ayala’s face was flushed, as if frightened by her own daring. She added, as an afterthought, “Why do you ask?”

Licking her spoon, Shoshana told her the truth. “I want to know if I can help you overcome these fears.”

Unfortunately, these words didn’t prove to be as effective as Shoshana hoped they would. In a flash, Ayala reverted to her stony self, replacing her mask and her shield. “How could you help me?” she asked, her voice rough and angry. “You don’t understand at all!”

Shoshana waited for the storm to subside. Then she took a deep breath and outlined the potential plan, mentioning Reva Mermelstein first. Ayala raised her eyebrows but didn’t say anything.

Quickly, Shoshana forged on, telling her about Reva’s suggestion of a three-week visit to London, where they could vacation together while Ayala underwent EMDR treatment.

She handed Ayala a copy of the papers Rebbetzin Thaler had given her, which she had carefully tucked into her handbag that morning.

“Think about it.

Sleep over it. Read the papers.”

Ayala kept a grim expression on her face, but she carefully folded the papers and placed them into her bag.

*** Over the course of the next few days, Shoshana gently broached the subject from various angles at opportune moments both at work and in telephone conversations at home, with Rebbetzin Thaler’s guidance on how to tackle Ayala’s fears. After a week or so, Ayala finally warmed up to the idea, especially when Shoshana depicted it as an adventure with some fringe benefits, as opposed to a laborious journey.

Something told her that the long-awaited go-ahead was coming.

Shoshana hated to be a nudnik, but she couldn’t help but add, “Ayala, remember, there’s really nothing to lose and a lot to gain. Please consider it seriously.”

Ayala didn’t answer.

Shoshana cleared off the plates.

“Too bad your ice cream melted.

You’d better come back for some more!” she warned in a mock threat.

A small smile formed on Ayala’s lips. “I guess I’d better be going home now,” she said stiffly. Then she added, in a barely audible voice, “Thanks for the supper.”

Dec. 18, 2019

Shoshana escorted her to the corner and walked back home.

She wasn’t sure if Ayala had been convinced. But she was glad she had done her part and was certain that this meeting had been a breakthrough.

“Uh, Shoshana?”

Ayala approached her that Tuesday, when the clinic was quiet.

Something told Shoshana that the long-awaited go-ahead was coming.

“Um…I think I’m ready for this trip,” Ayala said softly.

Shoshana wanted to pounce on her and embrace her in a bear hug, but she restrained herself. “Great, I’m so glad. So, when do you think we should book the tickets?”

They leaned over the wall calendar together and debated several

| 27

With prayers on their lips, they shared the hope that they would exit these same doors with lighter hearts. options until they came up with a tentative agreement. All that was left was to ask Dr. Lowy for permission and, of course, to speak to Reva. *** “Hi, girls! Come on in!” Reva called warmly, opening the door to the foyer. “How was your flight?”

“Hi, Mrs. Mermel –” “You mean Reva,” she interjected, taking their coats and hanging them in the spacious hall closet.

“Thank you so much for having us,” Shoshana said. “It was really nice of you to arrange that ride from the airport.”

“Well, you’re my guests here in England. You must be Shoshana; I recognize your voice from the phone. And you’re Ayala, of course.

You look just like your mother! So glad to have you here. It’s a good thing you arrived during school hours, so I can talk to you without all those curious eyes staring you up and down.

“Come, let me show you to your room, and then I’ll give you some lunch. You must be famished after the long flight with just a stingy piece of scrambled eggs with potatoes and a baby-sized roll to keep you going.”

28 |

The two girls smiled as they followed their talkative hostess down the hallway. Had she peeked into the garbage bag of seat 56 of Flight 132?

Reva proved to be an excellent hostess, pampering them as if they were VIPs. She’d somehow managed to book an appointment with the therapist she’d chosen for Ayala for the next morning. And she used every available moment before the appointment to coach her friend’s daughter, describing the procedure based on her personal experience with EMDR. “Donna is a doll! She’s patient and caring, not pushy at all. She’ll ask you a bunch of questions to get to know you and then assess your current state.”

Ayala shifted uneasily, biting her lips.

Reva placed her arm on Ayala’s sagging shoulder. “Ayala, you’ll see, it’s not scary at all. Just follow her instructions and be yourself,” she said for the millionth time. Then she stuffed a bag of homemade chocolate chip cookies and a bottle of Sprite into Ayala’s clammy hands.

“Good luck and have a safe trip!

Call me if you have any problems!”

Shoshana and Ayala stepped into the waiting taxi. “Wellness Clinic on Harley Street, please!”

“Yes, ma’am!”

Ayala’s face was white. She stared out the window, her shoulders heaving. Shoshana knew that Reva’s well-meaning explanations and platitudes had not been enough to calm her.

Would she be able to allay the girl’s fears?

“Donna Gartner has dealt with people who have undergone traumatic scenarios like you have hundreds of times and is equipped to handle every situation, b’ezras Hashem,” she said, appealing to Ayala’s logical side.

“Besides, you can always cry it out afterward if you need to; that’s what I’m here for,” she added.

“It’s a good thing that you’re here,” Ayala said at last. “I could never bring myself to talk to Reva. She’s nice and all, but…”

Shoshana nodded understandingly.

“I’m glad I’m here too. And don’t worry – we’ll celebrate the end of the first session with some touring.

It’s supposed to take about two hours, enough time for me to plan some fun excursion when you’re done.”

There was a playful glint in Ayala’s eyes, a look Shoshana had never seen before.

“Ladies, we’ve arrived!” the cabbie announced.

Shoshana carefully counted out the unfamiliar British currency and handed it over to the driver.

Dec. 18, 2019

Then she and Ayala strode into the imposing building. With prayers on their lips, they shared the hope that they would exit these same doors with lighter hearts. *** Devorah Pressman emerged from her haven, the privacy of her bedroom, invigorated after an hour-long conversation with her sister, Nechama. She stretched and glanced at her watch. Chaim would be home from Maariv shortly. She walked down the hall and glanced at Shoshana’s bedroom door with a pang. Funny, she so badly wanted her daughter out of the house to build her own nest, but now that she was temporarily out of town, Devorah missed her sorely. The house felt empty and hollow without her.

With a start, she noticed the unusual silence. Her mother-in-law, though not the choicest company, generally kept the house busy and noisy. At this hour, she was either puttering around in her bedroom, listening to music, or rearranging her knickknacks before being settled into bed. But now it was very quiet.

What could she be up to?

She peeked into the spare room, now known as Grandma’s room, and saw the usual disarray, but no sign of the anxious, confused octogenarian who spent much of her day there.

Instinctively, she whispered a chapter of Tehilim and dialed Chaim’s number.

To be continued

| 29

Marketing the Deed

Miri Isaacs

30 |

Tupperware parties are what come to mind when I hear the words multilevel marketing. Simply put, multilevel marketing means earning commission on your sales as well as off the sales of all the salespeople you recruit; resulting in a pyramid effect. The more salespeople you recruit, the bigger your profits are.

Over the years there was nary a summer in the country without one of the crowd hosting a Tupperware party for the rest of us. All of those parties served solely as a way of entertaining us on those somewhat cooler nights upstate. Sterilite and Rubbermaid provided me sufficiently with all my container needs; at a fraction of the cost of Tupperware containers and gadgets.

On occasion, when I felt bad for the host, and did purchase an onion keeper, or a salad tosser, I would regret it every Erev Pesach anew when I’d see it as a formidable extra gadget to clean and store!

Occasionally for a change, there would be other multi-level marketing parties such as Discovery Toys or Melaleuca. Discovery Toys sold toys at prices I felt I could beat anytime anywhere. Melaleuca on the other hand sold organic cleaning products for the home; where although the health aspect spoke to my conscience, my financial conscience yelled louder and what it yelled was “count me out!” I learned to stay far away from their goals and to attend the parties with caution.

That is until the most unusual form of multi-level-marketing played itself out.

A couple of years ago, I was standing outside with some neighbors waiting

Dec. 18, 2019

for our children’s buses when a hefty sanitation officer approached and proceeded to write out a ticket for Fayga Rochel’s house as we all looked on incredulously. The offense was a cigarette butt on the otherwise immaculate pavement in front of her house. (No one in Fayga Rochel’s family smokes!)

Fayga Rochel did not say a word but promptly turned in the other direction and proceeded to rapidly pick up all the litter in front of the next house, so that the landlord of that property should not be fined.

She did not finish there; but then went on to cover the entire block, picking up one piece of garbage after another, always one step ahead of the seething officer who could not catch up with her and thereby could not ticket anyone on our block.

Of course, as soon as we realized what was happening here we all joined our devoted neighbor, our combined efforts eliminating all the litter on the block. Incensed, but with no other alternative, the breathless officer got into his car, banged the door shut, and drove off.

Only then did Fayga Rochel explain that she had learned that there was no arguing with a sanitation officer for they never retract their tickets.

Once fined, the only thing to do was to prevent others from being fined, which at the same time, was the best way of getting back at the officer if he shouldn’t have been fining you in the first place.

This past summer my family stayed in the city, but we did try to head out of the city every Erev Shabbos as Boro Park becomes a ghost town on the summer Shabossim. One Friday afternoon at 2:00 pm, while

| 31

we were loading our car to make our getaway, a sanitation officer penalized us a with a ticket for putting our garbage receptacles out on the curb two hours earlier than allowed for Shabbos pickup.

There was no point in arguing the fact that we were leaving town and therefore had no choice. Knowing well that on the summer Fridays, the local residents deserted town early on in the day, he was determined in ticketing all offenders and bringing some much-needed dollars for the Big Apple budget.

As if in a trance I remembered Fayga Rochel’s episode, and my hakaras hatov gene kicked in. I immediately ran down my block shlepping garbage bins from the curb back to the front of houses.

There were many others who’d already left town and had like us, prepared their garbage cans for pickup. So after a couple of minutes this officer too, grudgingly got into his car and drove off, barely masking his disappointment.

Later in the day, a neighbor called me up to thank me for putting her bins back. Living all the way at the

32 |

other end of the block, we barely knew each other, yet she said she had to call to thank me for doing such a chessed. She couldn’t believe how I had thought of doing such a selfless deed a minute after being slapped with a fine. I went on to relate the time when our fellow neighbor Fayga Rochel had done it and how it was definitely to her credit that I’d repeated the act on the spur of the moment.

I hung up the phone thinking to myself that every time I would do this deed (though hopefully never again!) partial credit was traveling up the pyramid to Fayga Rochel herself for showing me the way, not unlike multi-level marketing!

And so it is with every good deed we do in our life! If you do a good deed and another soul is inspired to imitate that good deed as hakaras hatov, going on to do it herself, some of the credit will ultimately trickle up to you so that over time you will eventually amass a profit so great; no other multi-level marketing company in the world could compete with!

The Donut Bar Playing a pivotal homage to the Nes Chanukah, these delicious fried donuts remind us about the great victory of the Chashmanuim. This Chanukah, we bring you a variety of different flavor combinations that will make a gorgeous presentation and unequivocally delight everyone at your Chanukah party.

We find that donut holes are cuter and more portion-controlled than the regular-sized donuts, however you can use this universal yeast dough for any size you choose.

For a fun donut bar, simply display the plain donuts along with an assortment of fillings and toppings to choose from. You can also create adorable, little party favors by placing the donuts into colorful boxes, jars, or DIY doily paper cones.

For an adult-friendly version, stick the cinnamon donut holes onto paper straws and place them in cups of hot cocoa or cranberry tea.

Any way you go with these donuts, you’ll find yourself reaching for just one more ;) Have a Freilichen Chanukah!

-Sarah F.

Dec. 18, 2019

| 33

Classic Sufgyanot

Cinnamon Lotus

Cookies and Cream

34 |

Birthday Cake

Cream Puffs

Dec. 18, 2019

| 35

Croquembouche Donut Tower

36 |

Croquembouche Donut Tower

Dec. 18, 2019

| 37

Basic Yeast Donuts: Ingredients: 3 oz. fresh yeast or 3 ½ tbsp dry yeast 1/2 cup warm water 1 tbsp sugar 9 cups flour 1/2 cup sugar 1 tbsp vanilla sugar pinch of salt 4 eggs 1/2 cup oil 3 cups water Oil, for frying Directions: 1. In a small bowl, combine the yeast, warm water, and sugar and let sit for about 2-3 minutes until slightly foamy.

and yield equally delicious results.

Simply defrost to room temperature until soft and pliable. Then follow directions from #3 and on.

3. Roll out dough to 1/2” thickness.

Using a 3 oz. shot glass (for small donut holes) or an 8 oz. cup (for regular-sized donuts), cut the dough into rounds. Let rise for additional 15-20 minutes.

2. Add a peeled carrot to the oil to prevent it from turning brown.

4. Meanwhile, heat the oil in a large frying pan (oil should be about 2”-3” high, enough to cover the donuts).

When the oil is hot (around 350°), add the donut rounds and cook for 1-2 minutes on each side. Donuts should bob up to surface when done. Remove donuts from oil with a large slotted spoon and place on a baking sheet, lined with paper towel.

5. Coat the donuts with cinnamon sugar or confectioner’s sugar, immediately after removing from oil (optional).

Tips:

2. In a large mixing bowl, sift flour and add the sugar, vanilla sugar and salt. Mix the dry ingredients.

Add the eggs, oil, water and knead

1. Try using store-bought, ready pizza dough instead of the homemade yeast dough. This will greatly minimize the prep time

Flavor Menu:

shallow bowl, dunk the freshly-fried donuts in confectioner’s sugar and toss until completely coated.

Classic Sufgyanot: Using a piping bag or Ziploc bag, fill the inside of the donut with strawberry or raspberry jam. In a shallow bowl, dunk the freshly-fried donuts in confectioner’s sugar and toss until completely coated.

Mint Chocolate: Using a piping bag or Ziploc bag, fill the inside of the donut with chocolate spread. Melt mint chocolate flats over double boiler and add a drop of oil for a shiny and smooth consistency.

Dip the top of donuts into melted chocolate and garnish with crushed starlight candies.

Hazelnut Churros: Using a piping bag or Ziploc bag, fill the inside of the donut with chocolate hazelnut spread. In a shallow bowl, combine 1/2 cup sugar and 2 tsp cinnamon.

Toss the freshly-fried donut holes in the sugar cinnamon mixture until completely coated.

Snow Balls: Using a piping bag or Ziploc bag, fill the inside of the donut with vanilla custard. In a 38 |

to combine. Add some additional flour if mixture is too sticky. Cover with a dish towel and let rise for about 1/2 hour.

Cinnamon Lotus: Using a piping bag or Ziploc bag, fill the inside of the donut with Baker’s Choice Cookie Butter. Smear some more cookie butter over the top of the donuts. Sprinkle with ground cinnamon and garnish with a halved cinnamon stick or Baker’s Choice Lotus Crunchies.

Cream Puffs: Using a piping bag or Ziploc bag, fill the inside of the donut with vanilla custard. Melt chocolate chips over a double boiler and add a drop of oil for a shiny consistency. Dip top of donuts into melted chocolate and drizzle with melted white chocolate (optional).

Cookies and Cream: Using a piping bag or Ziploc bag, fill the inside of donut with vanilla custard or chocolate hazelnut spread. Dip the top of donuts into vanilla glaze (see recipe above). Top with crushed Oreo cookies.

Birthday Cake: Using a piping bag

3. Make these donuts in advance!

Simply store the fried and cooled donuts in a sealed cookie sheet and freeze until ready to use. When ready to rewarm them, just place the donuts into a cold oven and let the oven heat up to 350°. Once the oven is preheated, you can remove the donuts and add the fillings and toppings of your choice. Enjoy!

Easy Vanilla Glaze: 2 1/2 tbsp oil 2 1/2 tbsp water 1 tsp pure vanilla extract 1 cup confectioner’s sugar In a small bowl, combine all ingredients and whisk until smooth (Add more confectioner’s sugar for a stiffer consistency).

or Ziploc bag, fill the inside of donut with vanilla custard. Dip the top of donuts into vanilla glaze (see recipe above). Garnish with sprinkles.

Donut Dreidels: Melt chocolate chips over a double boiler and add a drop of oil for shiny consistency.

Dip top of donuts into melted chocolate and push a piece of thin pretzel rod into the melted chocolate. Carefully set down the dreidel until chocolate is firm. Place vanilla custard in a piping bag and using a thin tip, write the Aleph Beis of your choice.

Croquembouche- Donut Tower: Stick toothpicks onto a foam cone and attach the glazed and filled donut holes (foam cones are available at craft stores; dollar stores). Fill the empty spaces with frosting.

Bud Vase Menorah: Using the Waterdale Collection Lucite Bud Vases, assemble 9 vases to create a Menorah. Place a tall candlestick in the center for the Shamash. Add candles and light them up. Voila!

Instant Centerpiece.

Dec. 18, 2019

| 39

(Baked or Fried) Falafel Fritters:

40 |

Dec. 18, 2019

| 41

Cheesy Tater Tots with Spicy Mayo

Buttermilk Battered Onion Rings

with Chili Dipping Sauce

42 |

Falafel Fritters and Mediterranean Tahini Bowls A burst of fresh, Mediterranean flavors, this bowl will be a welcome change from your heavily-fried Chanukah Menu. With that unmistakable Tahini Drizzle and crisp Falafel Fritters, you’ll have a healthy and filling dinner, before splurging on those donuts!;) -Sarah F. (Baked or Fried) Falafel Fritters: Ingredients: 1 (15 Oz.) can chickpeas, drained 1/2 small onion, chopped 2 scallions (white and light green parts ONLY), chopped 3 garlic cloves, chopped 1 tsp cumin 3-4 tbsp flour 1/4 tsp baking powder 1 tsp dried parsley flakes salt and black pepper (to taste) Oil for frying Directions: 1. In a medium bowl, add the drained chickpeas, onion, scallions, garlic, and cumin. With a hand blender, blend the mixture until the chickpeas are coarsely

chopped (you can also blend mixture in a food processer).

2. Add in the flour and baking powder and mix until fully combined (try not to overprocess the mixture so it can retain some of the chickpeas texture).

3. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper and grease with cooking spray. With clean and oiled hands, shape the falafel mixture into walnut-sized balls. Flatten slightly. (if the mixture is too wet, add flour; if the mixture is too dry, add a bit of oil).

4. Fried: Heat oil in a large frying pan or disposable pan. Add in the fritters and fry both sides until golden brown (take care to flip gently as the mixture can break easily).

5. Baked: Place the chickpea fritters on the prepared baking sheet and drizzle with some oil. Bake at 400˚ for about 15 minutes. Flip carefully and bake for about additional 10 minutes, or until the fritters are firm and golden brown on both sides.

6. Serve with Homemade Tahini Mayo and homemade Mediterranean Bowl. Enjoy!

Homemade Tahini Mayo Drizzle: Ingredients: 1/4 cup tahini paste 1/4 cup water Juice from 1/2 fresh lemon 2 tablespoons mayonnaise 1 clove garlic, crushed salt to taste

Cheesy Tater Tots with Spicy Mayo

Crisp on the outside, chewy and cheesy on the inside, this Southernstyle revamp on the classic potato Latka will brings a whole lot of flavor and spice to your Chanukah table. Happy Dipping!

-Sarah F. Cheesy Tater Tots: Ingredients: 3 medium potatoes, skin on 3/4 cup shredded mozzarella & cheddar cheese 1 tsp ground parmesan 1/4 cup crumbled feta cheese (optional) 1/2 tsp Sriracha (or to taste) 2 cloves crushed garlic 1 tsp salt 1/2 tsp black pepper oil, for frying cornstarch, for dredging Directions: 1. Preheat oven to 350˚. Roast the potatoes with skin-on for 2530 minutes (they should still be hard in the center).

2. Peel the potatoes while still hot, and shred with a box grater into a medium bowl. Let cool slightly. Add in the shredded cheeses, Sriracha, crushed garlic, salt, and pepper.

3. Form the mixture into 1 inch balls (use a small ice cream scooper for uniform sizes). Refrigerate until ready to use.

4. Just before serving, dredge the potato balls in a shallow bowl of corn starch. Heat oil in a large frying pan or disposable pan and add in the potato balls. Cook balls for about a minute, then flip and finish cooking until completely golden brown. Place on a plate lined with paper towel. Serve hot with dipping sauce on the side. Enjoy!

Spicy Mayo Dipping Sauce: Ingredients: 1/2 cup mayonnaise 2 tsp ketchup 1/2 tsp hot sauce (or more to taste) Dash of garlic powder Directions: 1. Add all ingredients into a small bowl and mix until combined.

Dec. 18, 2019

1 tsp dried parsley flakes Directions: In a small bowl, add all the ingredients and whisk well until creamy (Optional: omit the mayonnaise for a classic Homemade Tahini Dip).

Mediterranean Bowls: Ingredients/ Suggestions: Homemade Falafel Fritters Tahini Mayo Drizzle Quinoa or Couscous, cooked according to package instructions Chummus Purple Cabbage, chopped Romaine Lettuce, chopped Pea Shoots English Cucumber, sliced Grape Tomatoes, sliced Red Radish, sliced Lemon Wedges Crumbled Feta Isreali Salad Black Olives Assembly: In a medium bowl, layer the greens, then add the quinoa or couscous, Falafel Fritters, Chummus, and the rest of the prepared vegetables. Add crumbled Feta and drizzle with Tahini Mayo. Serve.

Buttermilk Battered Onion Rings with Chili Dipping Sauce These buttermilk onion rings are briefly soaked in buttermilk and double-dipped in flour before frying, to ensure an extra crisp coating and tender onions within. Make the Chili Dipping Sauce for a light and fresh pop of flavor.

-Sarah F.

Ingredients: 1 large white onion, sliced thickly into 1/2-inch thick rings 1 cup milk 1 tbsp white vinegar Tip: These onion rings make surprisingly good leftovers!

1/2 cup sour cream Simply pop them your 1 cup flour Betty Crocker Pizza Maker or a small frying pan and 1/2 tbsp salt rewarm with some shredded 1/4 tsp black pepper Mozzarella Cheese on top.

1 tsp garlic powder Remove from heat once cheese is melted, and serve. oil, for frying Directions: 1. Buttermilk: In a medium bowl, whisk together the milk with 1 Tablespoon vinegar and let sit for 5 minutes. Whisk in 1/2 cup sour cream and stir to combine.

2. Flour Mixture: In a separate medium bowl, whisk together the flour, salt, pepper, and garlic powder.

3. Double Batter: Separate the onion rings and dip each ring into the milk mixture. Let the excess milk drip off, then dredge with flour (you can use a large Ziploc bag for the flour to coat the onion rings easily). Repeat by dipping in milk mixture a second time and then dredging in flour again. Lay the prepared onion rings on a plate until ready to fry.

4. In a large frying pan or disposable pan, heat oil over medium heat (should be at least 1’ of oil, enough to cover the onion rings). Once the oil is hot enough for the onion rings to sizzle, add in the double battered onion rings and cook for 3-4 minutes, until they’re lightly golden. Remove from oil and drain a plate lined with paper towels. Serve warm with Sweet Chili Mayo.

Chili Dipping Sauce: Ingredients: 1/4 cup mayonnaise 3 tsp sweet chili sauce 1/2 tsp red pepper flakes Directions: 1. Add all ingredients into a small bowl and mix until combined.

| 43

Finding the Gift in

Gifted Chaya Rosen

44 |

Chaim* was every rebbe’s nightmare.

Wild and uncontrollable, he spent more time out of the classroom than in it. Neither warnings, threats, nor punishments helped him toe the line.

By the time Chaim finished third grade, the yeshiva had had enough.

Though they didn’t have any good ideas to present as an alternative, they could not see putting the fourth grade rebbe through the torment that his colleagues had suffered in the previous years. Surprisingly, though, R’ Yosef, the fourth grade rebbe, insisted that Chaim be allowed to remain.

It did not take long for R' Yosef to realize that Chaim was no simple troublemaker. He was a brilliant child who simply could not contain himself in his boredom. Having understood what was being taught during the first few minutes of the lesson, he needed to fill the endless additional hours of school by acting out.

Giving it a Name This true story has a happy ending.

R’ Yosef demanded that Chaim commit everything the class learned to memory; first perakim of chumash, then mishnayos, etc. At the end of the year, Chaim was a changed boy.

He developed a love for learning, skipped two grades and progressed quickly. Eventually he became a very well-known Rosh Yeshiva with many talmidim.

This story took place around 75 years ago. R’ Yosef and R’ Chaim are no longer with us, but the scenario described above is one that takes place every day in contemporary classrooms worldwide.

Today, Chaim would have been swiftly pulled out and evaluated for learning disabilities, ADHD, social issues,

Dec. 18, 2019

behavioral issues, and a host of other possible causes. Eventually, (hopefully), the professionals would have determined that his IQ level put him in the gifted category, and would have made the appropriate recommendations. In those days, however, targeting children’s issues was solely in the hands of parents, rebbeim and teachers. Although we have professionals to guide us, our children are ours and we need to be equipped as best as we can to help them reach their full potential.

Ability or Disability?

We so often hear about the difficulties in raising special needs children. What we don’t realize is that a gifted child is also “special needs”, and that parenting them can be equally challenging.

“Parenting a gifted child is like living in a theme park full of thrill rides. Sometimes you smile.

Sometimes you gasp. Sometimes you scream. Sometimes you laugh.

Sometimes you gaze in wonder and astonishment. Sometimes you’re frozen in your seat. Sometimes you’re proud. And sometimes, the ride is so nerve-wracking, you can’t do anything but cry.” (A Parent’s Guide to Gifted Children) “If This is a Gift, Can I Send It Back?” (Title of book on the gifted by Jen Merrill) Trouble at the Top Tier In order to better understand the struggles involved in raising a gifted child, we need to understand the complexities of their inner world. A gifted child has the intelligence of an adult and the emotions of a child in a child’s body. They can successfully participate in an adult conversation

| 45

(maybe the Trump impeachment?) one minute, and cry because a sibling took their favorite toy the next minute. They are often frustrated when they cannot achieve what their minds think they can, due to their limited physical and social abilities.

They imagine creating ambitious and complex projects, and can then tantrum in an age–appropriate manner when their plans don’t work out the way they envisioned it. They are also often perfectionists because they know that they have the mental capabilities to do a perfect job. On the positive side, their perfectionism may help them eventually reach the high standards they set for themselves.

However, many gifted children perceive themselves as failures for not achieving perfection the first time around. If not handled properly, these children may never fulfill the promise of their talented minds.

Some children will even refuse to do their homework or simple school assignments in order to avoid failure.

Misunderstood by their teachers, they are labeled “problem students”.

A 65 in Social Skills Gifted children can be extremely sensitive. They perceive normal social interaction and injustices in their age group in an adult way.

When they react differently than their friends to the regular give and take or normal teasing of childhood, their peers may label them “weird” or “strange”. They may have trouble forming friendships with their grade-mates. A three year old with the vocabulary of an eight year old, or a six year old who likes to play Scrabble will understandably have a hard time finding playmates. They may prefer to spend time with older children and adults, depriving them of the opportunity to learn the social

46 |

skills they will need to succeed in life.

Proper Parenting How can we, the parents and teachers of these children, ensure that their childhood goes smoothly?

The first thing is to remember that no matter how smart or bright a child is, he/she is still a child and requires appropriate discipline, no matter how clever their behavior might be or how convincing an argument they may present. Don’t forget who is the child and who is the adult. Children who see that they can manipulate adults or get away with doing as they please are very insecure. For us frum yidden, this is called chinuch, and chinuch is for everyone, without exception.

Every child wants and needs to feel safe and protected. They need their parents to make decisions for them.

In the non–Jewish world, parents of gifted children often leave schooling decisions to their children, believing that they are better equipped to make these decisions. A parent always needs to remember and assert their role in their child’s life, no matter if their child has a higher IQ than they do. If your child is gifted and the going is difficult, remember that Hashem chose you, and only you, to parent this child, and that He will help you succeed in doing so. This will help you to remain firm and focused on your task.

Set them up for Success All that being said, the issue of boredom in school is a very real one.

With boys, it’s a bit easier to address – having them learn mishnayos or gemara ba’al peh (as in our opening story), or setting them up with an older chavrusa in the afternoon or evening can help them feel fulfilled.

For girls it is a bit more difficult.

Teachers and principals need to work with parents of very bright students to see how they can help them move forward, because not moving forward is moving backward. Under stimulated students can quickly turn into discipline problems or become serious underachievers. Sometimes, additional work that is more advanced is the answer; sometimes out of school extra–curricular courses is the answer. Parents have told me that they will allow their gifted child to take a day off from school once in a while when it gets too tedious, after which they are able to face the classroom once more.

Leader or Loser?

A note to teachers and rebbeim – do not treat your gifted student as G-d’s gift to mankind! Besides being very detrimental to their character development, it can actually work to their disadvantage.

Moishy (not his real name) was a young, brilliant bochur who spent every free moment learning. His rebbe was enamored with him and let him know it. Fortunately, his Rosh Yeshiva was more experienced in these matters and strongly advised the rebbe that, while he should compliment Moishy on his excellent understanding of the subject matter, he should treat him the same as he would any other student in the class. “If you treat him like a gadol hador, he surely will NOT become one.” He also made sure that Moishy spent some of his recess time on the basketball court.

Giving it their All Many very gifted children have a strong need to be able to learn with, speak with, and interact with students who are on their level academically.

This is fine as long as the larger part

Dec. 18, 2019

of the day is spent with other children their own age so that they develop proper social behaviors. While advanced education classes can be good for some children, finding age– appropriate activities that your child enjoys doing, whether it is baking, music lessons, or swimming can go a long way in helping them experience a happy and fulfilling childhood. It is very important for children to have to work hard at something to achieve success. When everything comes easy, they are less able to handle stress and disappointment later on in life.

Having your child study with weaker students in the class can play a two-fold role: It helps to fill the bright child’s need to be busy and feel fulfilled while at the same time teaching her to appreciate her gifts and to do chesed with others not as blessed. Helping her realize that her “brains” is a present from Hashem and that others have talents that she does not have is crucial in preventing ga’avah and snobbishness.

Appreciate and Advocate While praise and recognition of your child’s abilities definitely has its time and place, parents should not excessively focus on or discuss their child’s giftedness. Let your child feel and know that you love him/her for who they are inside – their midos tovos, their efforts to get along well with others, their smile, etc.

Of course, let’s not forget the one all-important and all-encompassing solution; tefillah, tefillah, and more tefillah. We need to daven for all our children equally – the brighter ones, the slower ones, the easier ones and the tougher ones. For with Siyata Dishmaya, we can definitely succeed!

| 47

48 |